#our girl is having a terrible time!
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tcba ch 23, mariko pov pt 8
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More notes for Roach conlanging. Roach has grammatical gender, in which only Male, Female, and Object are grammatical genders, whereas Worker uses feminine grammar, Queen and King use a slight variant on feminine grammar, and Drone, and Queen-Alate use masculine grammar. This is because King is derived from Queen, due to their similar positions in a colony, and Queen-Alate is derived from Drone, as both are forms of alate.
Queen is an alteration of feminine grammar that functionally just adds a handful of extra syllables to it, and King is an offsprout of Queen that uses the same grammar with different pronouns. Queen-Alate, despite the name, is derived from Drone, as they are both for referring to different types of alate ant.
Most Roach dialects are intelligible to speakers of Snakemouth Den Cordyceps Roach, but Snakemouth Den Cordyceps Roach is not entirely intelligable to speakers of Roach dialects due to a mix of the excessively specialized vocabulary caused by the specific needs of its speakers, the fact that its speakers do not necessarily have Roach mouthparts and thus may not pronounce syllables in a similar way, and due to the fact that Inanimate Object is a full grammatical gender that does not exist in any other dialect of roach and replaces a decent chunk of terminology for things that previously had Other Words For Them.
#we speak#conlang#bug fables#please excuse us if we're mangling the terminology here btw. we cannot for the life of us remember the proper terms for half of this#and every time we try to google things it winds up turning up nothing#probably because we're googling shit like “the term for the thing where self reference is different if youre a guy or a girl”#and like. “part of speech that you use to refer to other people that isnt pronouns or a name that has title associations”#if we reread some textbooks we will probably remember but unfortunately these are not our textbook reference posts#they are our “what if we told you about the cool ways that we did grammar in here” post#god we love grammatical grammar (<guy who doesn't have a strong enough sense of gender to remember der and die properly)#(because we are the specific type of speaker where we're half operating based on what Feels Right with the word and we are)#(so fucking bad at remembering how gendering words is meant to go)#(the secret reason we hate phonetics is because we have to contend with both figuring out how mouthparts would work and like)#(Working Out A Reasonable Collection Of Sounds To Have In Our Language. which means we have to actually like. name things)#(cruel and unusual that we have to make actual words rather than loosely tossing building blocks on the floor. honestly.)#anyways snakemouth den roach is one of those dialects where it's on the verge of becoming a language on its own#where it's very debatable on if it's Actually A New Language or just a very specific dialect of an old one because. well. boxes#picture it as like. trying to speak to someone who you Think is speaking french but they have an extremely thick regional accent#and they keep using like ten-syllable words that you probably don't know but that seem to refer to things that could be referred to#way more concisely?#and also rather than just le and la they have added an entire new lu to the mix and you are unclear if its the accent or a new word entirel#(note: we are not a specialist on french as we primarily know it in the “we've been around it long enough to vaguely know what's being said#way and are not currently caught up enough on whatever they have going on to know about any major grammar stuff going on over there)#(but we are terrible enough with remembering the grammar of the german that we do speak that we do not trust ourself to not be Worse there)
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there is no greater proof that john is tumblr girlie than his approach to conflict resolution but a close second is his decision to rebuild a society where the genders are sword and necromancy. and then making the most sword coded guy in his life a necromancer. pyrrha really took his man. she stole his codependent enabling cuddle buddy and now she's wearing his body. she has his eyes.
#pyrrha/gideon/john#is one of the more underrated love triangles of our time#i am extremely excited for john-pyrrha interactions i think they're going to be so deranged about the love lost between them and pyrrha#wearing gideon's face but in a completely exhausted way#also the our girl gideon paternity confusion issue#john crawling through gideon's window and into his bed when they were kids is canon to me ok#gideon breaking john's heart a little isn't canon to me#i think gideon was always there and always on his side and at some point that turned from relief and safety to terrible responsibility bcs#john cannot let himself have a win and he knows he can't trust himself! which now also means he can't trust gideon#however however IMAGINE baby john like one day we'll have our own house and no one will tell us what to do
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#film thanapat#jam rachata#กฎแห่งรักดึงดูด#listen jam is not the greatest actor of our times but his vulnerable looks get me every time#it's terrible; i can't do anything#also those times when he needs to do stuff to film and he doesn't know how and how much is allowed#the stressed look#man one part of me is dying from secondhand stress but the other is (as humor works) is laughing so hard#i'm kind of thankful#it heals me a little#when i have to act in embarrasing situations#and even if they are not; i'll make them#like my mind is so confused whenever i see that one girl at the drugstore#with men i get into a defense/competitive position or i give up everything easily#and here i can't go into competetive; and give up is showing a weakness which is opposite of what was taught to be attractive#it's so strange#feeling things and all that#so back to the post (better late than never))): what is this about?#.mine#laws of attraction
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you ever think about forsy being faced with an always have a small rock in your shoe or always have wet socks would you rather question and going "its not a fun situation... i would say yeah wet socks probably" like what possessed him to choose wet socks
#txt#i love when would you rather questions have a very obvious correct answer and then the general consensus agrees with the wrong answer#once again its not good for your skin to be wet all the time. especially in shoes... thats literally how you get fungal infections#its why ekky says “i think youd end up with a disease” which hes absolutely right about lol#thats literally athletes foot YOU PEOPLE SHOULD KNOW THIS??? THIS IS YOUR CAREER???#ekky the only bitch who knew remotely what he was talking about 😭😭😭#anyways this reminds me of a convo i had like 2 nights ago with my brothers gf#and i told her i was supposed to be born in june and i came earlier than i was expected to#and she was like YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO BE A JUNE GEMINI??????#and i was like yeah fucking bonkers right id be more insane than i already am those bitches are crazy#and i said that while thinking about forsy because hes a june gem and hes absolutely insane#and the wet socks choice is more fuel to that agenda really#dont fall for the nice act hes unhinged hes absolutely unhinged#IM SORRY FUCKING WET SOCKS???#as boy who grew up in the terrible floodlands of soflo i would never wish long periods of time in wet socks#while the wet months technically start in may usually rains get bad during april and our school was not prepared for flooding#not to mention we came back during the height of hurricane season...#like girl air conditioned classrooms in swampy socks is a sensory sensation that is actually hell and really bad for you
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I’m always writing these damn breakup texts at 4 in the morning
#I didn’t realize how pissed I was until I was like hmmm it’s probably not normal to fantasize about your ‘friend’s’ apartment burning down#love her but I hate her but I love her etc etc#I hope something fucking horrible happens to her she deserves it#and yet I want nothing but the best for her#god I hate toxic friendships#anyways she has not initiated a conversation like literally all year#I think I’m well within my rights to block her#I’m just mad I didn’t do it sooner#lea talks#you have one unhealthy friendship in highschool and it sets you up to be fucked forevermore#every time I think I find someone who’s going to be a real friend#they do something terrible#I actually can’t believe she knows how bad I hate being ghosted due to the aforementioned high school friendship#AND THEN SHE DID IT ANYWAYS#why do I get stuck with the worst fucking communicators#girl TELL ME WHAT I DID TO PISS YOU OFF#i really did think we were close and then she just cut me out of her life and I don’t even know why#like even some of our last conversations#god#I don’t even know#vent post#urghhhh#lmao on the off off off chance she sees my blog#fuck you#if you didn’t want to be friends you could’ve at least said goodbye#I can’t believe I got a shit grade on my chem exam because I was comforting you through your stupid breakup
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It’s funny that I can only read/write AT fanfic that’s both (a) canon compliant and (b) not too sad by my (very sensitive baby) standards, bc ofc those things contradict each other a lot
#OH and throw in there no smut#my library is so small 😭#some of my fics are definitely too sad but I wrote them so its different?#blah I did a lot of writing abt how I can’t write today abdbsbndnsb it’s making me mad#mostly just that I like to write until I realize that what I’m writing is horrible terrible disgusting shit trash#jus talkin#adventure time#I just love canon and especially post canon!!!!! it’s so good there’s so much there#I do have a draft of a regular world modern day au and it’s fun to think abt but .. canon is more fun#also I think things feel less sad in the canon universe bc they by nature can’t be 100% exactly like our universe#plus I love my girls being immortal (ish?)…. bubbline ♾️#sorry I’m so sleepy today I’m just sayin stuff how is it like almost early evening rn what’s hallenjng#I hate that I can’t write anything that has like. grit or whatever. like I feel like no one wants to read this elmo baby shit but me#(& i don’t like the way I execute it)#like I wish I could write stuff that’s idk. cool.#that’s it ahdbbdndn
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tatimaxxing (something big just happened to me but i can't talk about it on this blog because ive posted face)
#my friend's in the hospital again so i spent 20 on an uber with my other friend to go see her#but by the time we got there visiting hours were over 😭#so we just had dinner at the park#and i told her about The Big Terrible Thing for the first time#straight through without embellishment! yay! i think at least#because ive retold the story in so many different ways that im not actually sure what happened anymore#she was like super chill about it though!! and was like im really impressed that you actively made an effort to not be [REDACTED]#not really what she said more like Making An Effort to No Longer [Redacted]#redacted as an action not as a noun blah blah you know#and she told me about how shes faced discrimination at our super homogeneously chinese church which i feel REALLY BAD ABOUT BUT I DON'T KNOW#HOW TO EXPRESS IT TO HER OR WHAT TO SAY ABOUT IT 😭😭😭😭 GIRL HELP#im being so useless and chinese about it 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 i don't know how to talk to people about things that matter#and idk like ok v non-tatimaxxing of me to say but ive been so self centered and going Wahhh these normies will never experience my#Deep Secret Emotions unlockable only by spending too much time on tumblr as a child#on the other hand i feel like once this has gotten out of the way i don't really have an excuse for not connecting with my church friends#yknow. like i don't have to hide this from them any more#they're great people!! and they're going through so much and I need to be there for them but I couldn't even get tothe stupidhospital on tim#not cry typing just ran out of space#anyway I wish I could care more about them I wish I could make genuine connections without having to lie to feel some sort of weird#rush of power over them because I know the truth and they don't when I lie so much I don't even know what the truth is#I've been putting my face on here more lately because I want to be genuine and I want to not hide things#but idk if it'll work I think it might just make me unemployable 😭😭😭#cc diary
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i’m fr gonna lose my mind :)
#been a minute since i’ve ranted in the tags on here hi hello#so i have this friend who is driving me absolutely insane#we’ve been friends for about a year or so and when we first met we clicked right away and got super close and hung out all the time#we met at work but neither of us works there anymore and it feels like our whole friendship is falling apart now that we don’t#i literally have not seen her in person once since the last time we worked together (march)#and even before that we didn’t hang out outside of work since december of last year#and i have grown very used to having friends that just do not put the same amount of effort as me into our friendships and it’s sucks#so i was starting to make my peace with the fact that we just weren’t really friends anymore#but then a few months ago she started texting me asking me to hang out all the time and she seemed way more like her old self#and immediately i got sucked back in and was all excited to see her again and have her back in my life fully#but she completely flaked on me three times in a row (not even cancelling our plans but waiting until the next day to give me an excuse)#which like i said i’m unfortunately used to but she literally was the one who invited ME to hang out every time#like why are you initiating plans with me and then ignoring my calls and texts when it comes time to actually hang out#then a few weeks ago she texted me again saying we should go to a concert together bc we hadn’t in a long time#and there happens to be a concert i’ve been wanting to go to on the 31st but had no one to go with#she said she was totally in and really excited and i bought the tickets a couple days later and texted her to tell her i had#got zero response for almost a week and then she texted me yesterday saying we should hang out this week#so i said yeah let’s do it but also this concert is literally in 2 days are you still coming with me#and no response! again! so now i have 2 days to try and find someone else who can go last minute bc it seems unlikely that she will#and i’m just so fucking confused bc why do YOU keep reaching out to ME just to flake out at the last minute every single time#like at this point it feels like she’s doing it on purpose just to see if i’ll keep tolerating her bullshit#and part of me wants to just cut her off bc she’s been a terrible friend to me for months at this point#but i can’t bring myself to do it bc i miss her so much anyway and when our friendship was good it was really fucking good#like i considered this girl one of my best friends and now it feels like she’s just playing games with me bc she’s bored#which sucks extra bc last year she was there for me when literally none of my long time friends were#like it’s bad enough that it seems like our friendship was conditional on us being coworkers#but it hurts more and more every time she reappears in my life just to ghost me again like genuinely why would you do that#so i’m really upset and pissed off rn and i have no idea wtf to do about the concert bc idk anyone else who likes the artist enough to go#vent#lj.txt
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yeah ok so this girl from my school is going to the fucking oscars. and presenting. like ok!
#what the fuck ever man not jealous at all or anything#i mean idk what she's presenting really but the fact that she's even involved!!! hello!!!#not discounting her work she's incredible but. she was also forced into a lot of stuff by this insane guy in our program#who totally totally creates his own legion of nepo babies#like! she's great but im also sitting here soooo bitter like. i could have done that. i just wasnt one of the hand selected people last#summer that this guy worked with. despite applying several times to work with him and now having met and interviewed with him#for a position i probably wont get cause he's gonna pick the most annoying evil insufferable girl instead just cause he knows her#she will absolutely not be a better representative of our school than i would be. im a really great speaker lol. and am generally charming#she has the personality of like. a fucking leech. she's terrible#and it's like do i want to work for this guy for a month while trying to get something out of this trip no but do i think im good enough#to deserve his backing like yeah. i was a better producer than one of his wunderkind lol.#wow ok sorry this is truly showing how cutthroat we little film kids will get i guess. it's just bullshit#you'd have to know this guy he's notorious with everybody in the film/english department#he could NEVER be my bestie prof. but my bestie prof also doesnt have all the same connections. but who cares he's also not the most#annoying guy on the planet#abby talks
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not to sound like an evil hater but I looove it when you dislike someone and then everyone else ends up agreeing with you
#this is about a girl I've known for years and never liked#for many reasons but i will summarize#to start she's always acted like she's better than me and acts like talking to me is charity work or whatever#but she chooses to talk to me I would never willingly do that lol#and then eventually she had a weird crush on my older brother. weird bc of an illegal age difference and he had a gf at the time#she also had a bf for part of this. yet she would always flirt with him and also started treating me weird#like she was mad at me for being closer with my brother than she was???? bizarre#ANYWAYS. more recent news#she started dating one of my friends who is a very sweet guy and everything#and then he broke up with her bc she cheated. she says she didn't cheat and he's projecting#dude barely talks to women so idk who he supposedly cheated with. but anyway. she had a new bf like a week later#and thennnn. she posted a pic with her new bf like happy 3 months. a pic of them cuddling on a couch#except the pic said 4 months ago. she was dating my friend at the time. hmmmmmm#she literally posted evidence that she cheated 😭😭😭 but good news! now people are finally agreeing with me that she's terrible#also I recently found out that she blocks men from seeing her story whenever she posts a pic of a bf. who does that#like the whole point of posting your bf is so everyone knows you're taken#but nowww my brother and our mutual friends and whatnot have finally decided to dislike her! which means yayyy I don't have to see her#Sera
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my dog is just like me fr; spiteful, aggressive, demands attention, prone to car sickness
#the way she will take a piss or shit in a difficult place if you tell her she cant have/do something....#and just like stare at you while shes doing it lmfao#thats my girl#and she gets so mad if you ignore her#she will bite the shit out of you when playing like#shes got her softer playful bite which is still enough to scratch but theres been a couple times we've gotten her at the wrong moment#and she breaks skin#and you know what thats her right. our bad for fucking with her playing time#though admittedly sometimes she goes into attack mode for no reason like girl calm down#i sound like a terrible dog owner i promise shes only like this to us lmao#around strangers shes curious and will jump on them but like shes not biting#i also dont let her get too close to strangers just in case lmao#but as of now on walks she's been fine. the most she does is bark at people#and like... girl me too
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why did they have to make the summer I turned pretty into a show. it’s ruined my life and I have no plans of even watching
#fist of all the books were terrible (coming from someone who read them like 5 times)#grrr bark bark grr#I’m just a hater#like what’s the pointtttt like come onnnn where’s the fucking substanceee#teenage girls really have no options bro#and this booktok stuff is rotting our fucking brains#sorry for sounding like a boomer but idk#it just feel like. no one is willing to say anything brave anymore#it’s all about the fucking love triangles and mafia bfs and just.#IM SO SICK OF MEN SORRY#I’m sick of my life revolving around them#sick of the messaging that it should revolve around them#give me media for teenage girls about lesbian sex. is what I’m saying#I think we are regressing honestly#or maybe it’s just I’m seeing this sorry state of affairs only now that I’ve started looking at ig reels#anyways I feel like I’m losing my mind and everything is superficial and there is not one thought going through 90% of ppl brains#so always refreshing to see my pretentious girlies are also thriving#and I’m NOT saying a fun romance book isn’t ok every now and then like girl#I did spend like a week of my life consuming only desi romance books but.#maybe we need to also be investing some time in . just anything else really#just saw some comments on a booktok reel like ‘oh I’m 14 and I read hunting Adeline’ or whatever the fuck that book is called#it’s jsut. idk. really depressing to me… please pick up an Austen#it’s this whole thing like the books and the shows like nothing has any fucking meaninggg#literally sound insane but I am going insane#yeah I really need to get of fucking booktok it’s ruined my life
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#nini’s nonsense#sometimes i think about the fact that people around me. even the ones closest to me. know so little of me. because i have a cousin who#recently told me she has a gf and she’s bi and was like. yeah i didn’t think you’d judge but you also never know yk. and i mean. i do know.#better than anyone in our fam probs. but also. it just put into perspective how little they’ll all ever know me because ofc my sexuality is#not who i am at all but it’s such a big part of me as well and the fact that no one irl knows and no one will probs ever know. sigh#it’s an exhausting thought tbh#but i come from such a religious family i don’t ever see it going well. and on the other hand i have made the agreement with myself that i#won’t ever date girls anyway. so yeah. idk. sigh sigh cry cry etc etc#and also. i had a wedding this week and weddings always make me realize i’ll probs never have one of my own. for so many reasons. and on one#hand i am happy but on the other hand the want is there and i know it’ll probs never be fulfilled because i would be a terrible partner#and yeah. idk the passing of time is just fucking me up a bit i guess. it’ll hopefully pass soon.#i really need to properly write about all this. maybe then i’ll finally be able to breathe again.#ANYWAYS. so happy my bby told me so happy for her they’re THE CUTEST omg
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Some old oc drawings
#my ocs#purple haired girl (lizzie) is the girl with googles big sister btw#i plan to post more ocs in a few days or so but i just wanted to show what i already have#red haired guy is francis. my buddy my guy#quick fire lore: theres a world parallel to ours that overlaps#these overlaps create gates between the two worlds. the other world saw what we were doing during the colonial period and was like#'fuck that im out' and collectively decided to prohibit travel between worlds and to protect the secret of the second world#oftentimes people from our world would accidentally wonder into theirs and so. a group called the timekeepers was created to manage the flow#between the 1st and 2nd world while also maintaining their secret#this organization is seen as like a second government all over the world. except for this island called Alcester#where lizzie and francis live. theres another group from Alcesters government (knights) that basically do what the tks do but. Worse#they also hunt tks but yk how it is.#lizzies dad is a politician with heavy involvement with the knights. so out of a moral superiority complex she runs away to join the tks#but it backfires. news of his second child running away jeopardizes his career and he starts spending more and more time at the office#after some time he loses focus and has a consensual workplace relationship. the news of two kids on the run and then her husbands affair#sends lizzie (15 atp) s mom over the edge. falls into a depression so terrible shes unable to take care of agnes (13 atp)#eventually her mom commits suicide and after having to let go all of the house servants and having dad at work all the time.#agnes is left alone with her mothers corpse for months on end#barely holding herself together agnes sets out to go find lizzie. only to find out theres a giant bounty on her sisters head.#why? well#while running away lizzie took a carriage. shes rich after all. you expect her to walk? and the carriage got robbed.#the drivers dead shot and its just her and the other guy. she tricks the guy into getting close to her. taking the gun and shooting him#she runs off and leaves the guy to bleed in the rain. turns out? it was a local crime boss's estranged son#so anyways. agnes meets this bounty hunter. rayde. who promises to help find her sister and hoodwink the old crime boss#she joins his little ragtag team of bounty hunters but oh! turns out hes terribly manipulative and cruel!#ill give you raydes story when i post his ref (he is the most cringefail loser man ive ever constructed)#and francis! red guy. his moms from alcester dads from italy. the biggest multi dimensional custody battle youve ever seen.#he was raised in and around the timekeeper's
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Stop feeling bad about my identity challenge
#vent in tags#i just... idk#i cant feel proud of being a man bc apparently thats terrible#i cant feel like a manly man bc im not one#if i feel like a gay man that feels wrong to others bc that means im 'just a straight girl who wants gay guy dick' apparently#and if i ever complain about my struggles with being transmasc its#“oh but x identity has it worse you fucking man! you gross man!”#hi not all queer oppressive experiences and trauma are equatable and in fact most of them cant fucking be compared#of fucking course i dont get the same oppression a trans woman or cis gay man has; im not them!#we all have our own struggles! why cant i put a name to mine?#why CANT i say the word transandrophobia?#why does me using words have to somehow automatically hurt trans women? i have no idea how that works#and whats worse is trans women dont tell me that OTHER queers and people tell me that#but the more i look the more it seems like everyone wants to pit us against each other. all the time#and now the fucking government hates us too are you *shitting me*#im just so tired#i wanna be a gay trans man without it causing me untold amounts of grief and pain from both in and outside the community#i wanna be effeminate without being told “oh youre secretly still a giiiirl'#sometimes i dontnwanna fucking bind ok? it hurts.#im so tired of everything right now#i just wanna be happy with myself
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