#otherwise u will b loosing me..

[hyunpic]

he said new year new piercing new me

[orcelito]

Reblogging this for morning crowd to see. I'm definitely leaning towards making it, tho I'd still appreciate votes if you're interested so I know how many people to expect. It'd be an 18+ server (just bc allowing minors complicates so much with moderating & wouldn't be worth it for a small server) so! Let pls me know if you're interested 😌

ok i was thinking about how difficult it is to find active vashwood servers that arent terrible (such as allowing shit like plantcest around) and. i had the thought. of

what if i made my own vashwood server. primarily for my readers and/or tumblr followers, tho if other ppl were interested it could potentially be an open one too. sooooooo im making a post to ask if anyone would be interested in joining one lol. so!

depending on the interest on this i May Or May Not end up making this in the next few days. We'll See.

[roguerogerss]

Wanted To Have You

Pairing: Thomas Shelby x Reader

W/C: 3.7k (i think i didn’t check tbf)

Warnings: mention of smut (no actual smut though), swearing, arguing

(welcome back babes, missed you. tommy has been on my mind all the time recently so i decided i’d bang something out and post it. it’s basically just word vomit tbh but hope u enjoy. LOVE a lil bit of angst when it comes to peaky blinders and hope u do too!! luv u the most b back soon)

***

Birds chirped, the sounds of the market opening began, golden sunlight poured in through the window. The morning had come too early, but Tommy was always a sight to see in the morning.

Laid on his back, one arm curled loosely around her waist, the other on his chest, right above a bullet scar that Y/N had helped Polly to stitch up in early January. His lips were parted slightly, chest rising and falling, dark lashes settled on ruddy cheeks.

She smiled and traced the tattoo on his chest ever so lightly with the tip of her painted fingernails, her way of quietly waking him up. It always worked, and today was no exception. He sighed as he stirred, a small smile making it's way onto his face.

"G'mornin', love." How she loved the way that his voice sounded in the morning. Heavy with the day before's cigarettes, low and gravelly, Brum accented. "Sleep okay?"

"Slept great." She was so tired from the night before's antics that she couldn't have stayed awake another second after they'd collapsed onto the mattress and he'd pulled her close underneath the sheets. "Did you?"

Tommy hummed, "Mm, slept alright. Wasn't great, thinkin' a lot."

"Thinkin' about what?" Her fingers absentmindedly wandered from his tattoo to the back of his neck, tugging at the short hairs that gathered there.

"Business stuff, darlin'. Nothin' for you to worry your pretty little head about." He gave a soft, bleary-eyed smile and pressed a hand to her cheek, thumb stroking back and forth.

"Tommy, you always say it's just 'business stuff'. Why won't you just tell me what's going on for once?" She wasn't angry, really, but the pout on her face might've said otherwise. Business stuff was the closest that she ever got to knowing anything about Tommy's personal life.

But rumours fly, and she'd heard a lot from the people of the town that made her think that her Thomas wasn't as innocent as she thought he might be.

"I've told you. It's not important, nothing you'd want to hear." His voice strained as he stretched, biceps flexing as he raised his arms above his head. "Would bore ya, honest."

"You don't bore me, Tom." She looked up at him through her lashes and he gave a short-lived chuckle and ran his fingers soothingly through her hair.

"I have to get up." He ignored her statement and gave her a quick kiss on the top of the head, before rolling over and sitting up. He was still only wearing his underwear, and so she marvelled at the way that the muscles in his back flexed as he moved to grab his previously ironed button-down shirt from the side table.

She almost forgot that she was angry as he got up and pulled his slacks on, shirt still unbuttoned and the light hitting his toned torso just right. "I'll see you later, sweetheart." Tommy leaned down to place a kiss on his girl's lips, barely taking a second to enjoy the feeling but really only doing it so that he could continue to taste her on his lips for the next hour or so.

"Family meeting?" It was obvious that Y/N was unimpressed, but Tommy either didn't notice or was pretending that he hadn't, because he didn't comment and simply nodded. "And I can't come?”

"Told ya." Tommy tucked his shirt into his slacks and knotted his tie, eyeing Y/N all the while. "Would bore you."

He wanted to tell her about what he did. He really, really did. But he also wanted to keep her, and he knew that he couldn't do both. There was no way that she'd want to stay with him if she knew about all of the terrible things that he'd done, and so he'd made everyone who worked with him agree that she was never to know.

He supposed that she'd get suspicious at some point, but he hadn't expected that point to come so soon. It had been a year, and he figured that the towns people spoke and that she heard, but he was dreading having to actually let her know by himself.

"And I've told you," Y/N had gotten up, pulling her silk robe around her small body and padding lightly across the floor to where Tommy stood. She fixed out his jacket and smoothed down his shirt affectionately. "You don't bore me."

"We can talk later." Tommy smiled softly, hand smoothing Y/N's hair against her head as he pressed his lips to her forehead, then the tip of her nose, and finally her lips. She made him linger for a second, hands grabbing at the back of his neck and holding him in place as their lips moved together.

Tommy chuckled and pressed his forehead against hers. "I have to go.

"Fine." She pecked his lips once again and then let him go. "Go about your business, Mr Shelby."

"As I will, Miss Y/L/N." He smiled and then he was gone, unlocking the bedroom door and slipping out of the room.

**

Y/N was furious. That was really the only word that she could think of to describe the sheer anger that bubbled inside of her. Thomas Shelby is a Peaky Blinder.

And she knew that the statement from the woman at the market wasn't a lie. What other reason would he have to hide everything from her? To never tell her about his life or where he'd been or why he would often come to bed at ungodly hours?

She stormed into their shared home and, upon seeing him sat at the kitchen table, cigarette in hand, decided that she couldn't deal with him. And so she threw him a look and then took off up the stairs to their bedroom.

Tommy followed, of course he did, yelling her name and asking what was going on. But she ignored him, simply sitting down on the bed and waiting for him to join her.

"What's wrong, love? Did someone do something? I swear, I'll-"

"You'll what, Tommy?" She stood then, still keeping her distance but crossing the room only slightly. "Cut them? Kill them?"

"What the hell is this about?" Tommy sighed. He seemed bored already, unprepared to listen to her ramble because, oh, Thomas Shelby knew that his girlfriend could ramble for hours.

"Let me see your hat." She knew what the Peaky Blinders were, she knew fair well what the name meant, and she needed to confirm what the townsfolk had told her. "Where is it? Show me it!" She started searching for the hat, opening drawers and cabinets, she knew that she had to find it, because she had to know.

"Y/N, calm down, for God's sake." Tommy clasped a hand around her forearm, but she yanked it away and simply stared up at him, tears threatening to fall from her already glassy eyes.

"Are you one of them?" Her voice was almost a whisper, so quiet and timid that maybe Thomas wouldn't have heard her if they weren't almost chest to chest. "Are you a Peaky Blinder, Tommy?"

And now she was really crying, tears smudging the makeup on her cheeks and clouding her vision as Tommy's piercing blue eyes stared down at her. He was thinking, thinking about whether it was best to tell the truth or to leave, and thinking about what the consequences of each would be.

What would she do if he told her? Would she yell? Hate him? Would she leave? And what if he left? Would she let him back in?

But she looked so vulnerable, was crying so hard because she already knew the answer. And Tommy wanted nothing more than to take her in his arms and kiss her head and wipe the tears from her eyes. But it was his fault that she was crying, he'd caused the tears and the hurt. And he had to tell her.

"Yes." Her heart felt like it might've stopped. Because Tommy was the only person that she trusted, and now she felt like she knew nothing about him.

The room fell silent, she stared at him and waited for words to come, and she waited, and waited. Thomas wouldn't break eye contact with her. In truth, because he was scared that, if he did, he'd never look into her eyes again, she'd leave and she wouldn't come back, she'd go back to Ireland, back where people told her things because that was the right thing to do, because they weren't afraid of what the Peaky Blinders might do to them.

She decided, after a few beats of standing still, staring at him, heavy breaths coming from both of them, that she couldn't look at him anymore. She'd been waiting for him to say something, anything, that would mean that this had all been some sort of sick joke. He'd start laughing, tell her he was kidding, that the woman at the market had told her that just to see how she would react. She'd be angry, yes, but it'd only be short lived, and it wouldn't change anything.

But he didn't, and he wouldn't, because she already knew there was no hint of a lie in what she'd been told. She took a last, deep breath, and then departed to the other side of the room, where she turned her back to Thomas and took a few more deep breaths.

"Listen, love, I...I wanted to tell you-"

"Don't, Thomas."

"I really did. I wanted to. But I knew you'd react like this-"

"And so you thought that keeping it from me was right? You thought that holding the threat of the Peaky Blinders over the entire town's head to keep them quiet, was the right thing to do? You thought I'd be happy when I eventually found out?" Thomas found himself falling silent, speechless. He was never speechless.

"I was hoping to tell you myself."

"Well, you missed the opportunity to do that two years ago, Thomas." She'd picked up her handbag now, and Thomas noticed that tears had pricked his eyes and were threatening to fall. "To think I worked for you, as your secretary. I signed off your fucking books, I made phone calls for you, you involved me in this without even telling me, you didn't even ask me if that was what I wanted, Thomas."

"I know, and I'm sorry-"

"Pack your things."

"Love-"

"Pack your things, Thomas. And don't you ever call me anything other than my name."

And with that, she'd gone. To where, Thomas wasn't sure, but he found himself watching her, almost in slow motion, as she stormed through their bedroom door. He could hear her heels clicking as she hurried down the stairs, the brief pause as she pulled her coat - the one he'd bought her for their anniversary - around her body, and then the click open and slam shut of the front door.

He lowered himself onto the bed, placed his head in his hands, and sat for a few minutes in silence. The window was open, and so the sounds of the bustling street below floated upstairs, and he tried not to listen. The thought that she was out there, inconsolably upset, with every intention of leaving him, because of a mistake he'd made off his own back seemed entirely too much to handle.

So he closed the window, lay back on the bed, and lit the end of a cigarette. He needed to figure out a way to make things right by her, after all, Thomas Shelby didn't care about opinions, but what she thought of him was the most important thing in the world.

**

She'd gone to the Shelby's family home, mostly to try to seek comfort from either Ada or Polly, but also to berate the brothers for not thinking to tell her their secret.

She burst through the front door, to find Polly and Ada at the dining table, each smoking a cigarette. They jumped up when they saw her, womanly instinct coming into full effect, knowing that something must've been wrong from the way she'd stormed in, and the look on her face when she had.

"What's he done, my love?" Polly was always best at being able to tell when Thomas had messed up, and she was always on the right track when it came to guessing what he'd done wrong. His aunt knew him better than anyone, as much as he'd hate to admit it.

"Did you know?" She was breathing heavily, trying not to let the tears that were threatening to fall from her eyes slide down her cheeks.

"Know what, love?" Ada had come to Y/N's side now, guiding her to sit down at the kitchen table, and had shooed the men away, into the drawing room, after Arthur had come mooching for a bottle of rum.

"Did you know what he was doing?" Her eyes were full of tears now, making it hard for her to see properly. She placed her elbows on the table and used the sides of her palms to wipe the tears as they fell. Polly pulled her chair over so that she was sat close to Y/N.

"Calm down, sweetheart." Polly placed a tentative hand on her arm, "What has he done?" His aunt could feel her heart drop in her chest, from the way that Y/N was speaking, she was almost certain that her nephew had cheated on his girlfriend.

"Did you know he was a Peaky Blinder? Is that what they're doing through there?" Y/N was really crying now, looking that horrible, vulnerable way that Tommy hated. Arthur had opened the door a crack, and he, John, and Finn were peeking out at the women sat in the kitchen.

Ada sighed and ran a hand over her face, and Polly seemed to erupt into anger, "We bloody told him, didn't we Ada? We told him you'd find out, but he listened to these bloody idiots," She jabbed a finger at the doors to the drawing room, which made Arthur crack up like a child, provoking Polly to pick up a teaspoon from the table and throw it at his face. "The women in this house are apparently the only ones with any sense in them."

"Why wouldn't he tell me, Polls?"

Polly took a long pause before answering. Thomas's reasonings had never been clear, behind any of his madness, and, even while having known him his entire life, she often wondered what the method behind the goings-on in his life was. "Listen, love, you know he loves you, yes?"

Y/N nodded slowly, a puzzled expression crossing her face. "Then you know how he protects the people he loves. Yes, he does all of this bad work, but he doesn't want you to know because he's scared something will happen to you if you know too much. And he doesn't want you to see him as this monster, Thomas Shelby, the leader of the Peaky Blinders. Sometimes, he just wants to be Tommy. Do you know what I'm saying?"

Polly, as always when she assumed anything about Tommy, was right. He'd liked Y/N from the moment he'd hired her to work as his secretary, but he knew she wasn't the type to turn a blind eye to his work. He supposed it was selfish, not telling her, but he wanted her to know him for who he was, not what he did.

She let out a sigh, partly letting go of all of the anger she'd built up towards Tommy, and partly because she was relieved to hear what his aunt had to say about it. "I know what you're saying, Pol."

A long pause followed, with only the bustle of the drawing room keeping the place from being in dead silence. Polly's hand was still resting on Y/N's arm, and Ada's on her back, and she found herself able to forgive. The Shelby women certainly had their ways.

"What do you want to do, love?" Polly broke the silence that had settled on the room.

"I don't know." Y/N couldn’t even think of anything else that she could say, she truly didn’t know what she wanted. Polly’s face contorted slightly, and Ada rubbed her hand up and down over Y/N’s back.

"Well, are you going to tell him it's over?" Ada asked, voice quiet, so as not to alert the men in the other room that anything too serious was being spoken about. She thought for a moment, feeling a pang of sadness come over her at the fact that she had to even think about whether or not she wanted to end things with Tommy.

"No. No, I'm not going to do that."

Polly breathed out, a breath that she didn’t even know she’d been holding, and wrapped an arm around Y/N’s shoulders, pulling her in and squeezing her in a way reminiscent of a mother holding her daughter.

"Okay. Okay, good. He does love you, so much, you know that?” It was a rhetorical question, and Polly didn’t leave enough time for Y/N to even answer. “Do you want to go home? Or will Ada boil the kettle and we can have a brew?"

"A brew would be nice."

**

The air was almost cold when she left the Shelby house to start the walk home. Summer was coming to an end now, but the sky was still bright past nine. She'd begun noticing things that she hadn't before, after finding out Thomas's secret. People would greet her profusely as she walked down the street, some even going out of their ways to let her past. They'd hold their children back from walking in front of her, the men working at the furnace would shield her from any soot that might come her way.

It felt strange, like Thomas was king of Small Heath and she was his Queen, and god forbid anyone see what might happen if they disrespect the Queen. She made an effort of smiling and thanking these people, showing that she didn't actually need them to be doing these things for her, but they did them regardless.

When she reached the front door of the house she shared with Thomas, she stood for a moment, simply staring at the front door. The mark was still there from the nail Thomas had banged into it months ago now, so that she could hang a holly wreath there to celebrate Christmas. He'd called it unnecessary, but they'd only just moved in together and she'd been so excited for their first Christmas in their new home, she'd come home from work one day to find the largest wreath Thomas could find at the market, hanging on their front door.

She smiled to herself, suddenly feeling emotional with all of the memories of their time together coming flooding back. She opened the door.

She was pleased to find that, when she got home, Thomas's hat and coat were still hanging on the coat stand at the front door. His pocket watch on the mantelpiece, shoes still placed neatly at the door. He hadn't gone anywhere yet.

"Thomas?" She called, and was met with the sound of soft footsteps in the bedroom.

"Upstairs." His voice was quiet, small, something that hurt her to hear. She wasn’t sure she’d ever seen him truly upset, even after two whole years.

She placed her handbag on the floor and draped her coat over the coat stand, then crossed the hallway and climbed the stairs to their bedroom, where Tommy was sat on the bed, head in his hands, suitcase at his feet. She felt a piece of her heart chip away upon seeing him.

"I'll be gone soon enough, I just-I didn't want to believe that-"

"Do you want to leave, Tom?" She took a few steps towards him, and Tommy lifted his head to look at her for the first time. His eyes were red, and she knew that Tommy Shelby strictly did not cry, except when it came to her.

A pause followed, Tommy simply staring up at her, opening and closing his mouth every now and again, thinking of the right thing to say. Was there a right thing to say?

"You know I'm not really religious. But I've been praying all day that you'd come home and we'd be fine again." A small, sad looking smile had settled on his face.

"Maybe you should start going to church, then." She placed her house keys down on the bedside table, she was here to stay. Tommy felt a weight lifted from his shoulders as she gave him a small smile and held her arms out to him, letting him back in, “Come here."

He didn’t hesitate, pulling her into his lap and wrapping himself tightly around her. Please don’t leave again, he was saying, eyes closed and cheek pressed to her stomach. Her arms settled around his neck, one hand drawing comforting patterns on his shoulder and the other smoothing his hair.

"I wasn't doing it to upset you." He needed an explanation for her, he owed her that, especially after she’d come back when he wouldn’t have blamed her for walking out of the door and never having a thought of him again.

"I know you weren't." He hated how forgiving she was. He hated that he’d done wrong, and, instead of just leaving like she deserved to, she’d come back and was comforting him, making him feel good about the lies he’d fed her. But he knew her all too well, he knew deep down she’d have forgiven him, because she wasn’t one to deal with things in any way other than graciously.

"No, sweetheart, I know I've been selfish. I know I’m not fair to you. But I'm only selfish because it's you." His hands roamed her back, underneath her dress, feeling every dip and scar, memorising them again, “I just wanted to have you, loved you since the minute I met you, I swear. Couldn't have you thinking of me as this cold, relentless monster. I just remember thinking you were too pure to know, thought I’d only ruin that if I got too close and you knew the truth.”

“I know you better than you know yourself, Tommy. You’ve got a heart in there, you know.” She gave him a small smile while he looked up at her, bright eyes piercing through dark eyelashes, “I don’t understand why you did all of this for me, you could’ve chosen another woman, one who you could’ve even helped you with your work all this time, but you chose someone who you felt like you had to hide everything from.”

“Told you already, I just wanted to have you.” He pressed a kiss to your cheek, then one to your nose, and then your lips. “You, not anyone else, not a woman who’d do my work for me, not someone easy, I wanted to have you. And you know I’m selfish with things that I want.”

You were really smiling now. Tommy always knew the right things to say, always knew how to make you happy. You wrapped your arms around him again, and, while Tommy didn’t like to admit it, he felt safe with you, something that he didn’t feel in many places.

“Thomas Shelby, you’ll always have me.”

[heartfeltcherie]

hiya! I wanted to know if you could either do

A) An Alastor x G/N Reader angst thing where he’s having a 🤩mental💕breakdown🤞 and just…sobs to them while hugging them kinda? Idk I’m just feeling like a comfort/angst mood rn

OR

B) Platonic headcanons of Lucifer x Teen!Reader where he basically adopted them.

IF YOU CANNOT THAT IS AOK, IM JUST BEGGING YOU PLEEEAAASSSEEE

— i kinda went a different route but i hope u enjoy nonetheless!

☾. °.   ࿐  ` , •

the battle wasn’t supposed to end like this.

alastor was the one who should’ve killed adam. alastor was the one who was supposed to to leave a mark on that disgusting angel.

but here he was, sat on the floor in his beaten up radio tower, his wound open and leaving itty bitty cirlces of blood where he previously walked. he was rethinking his steps; how could i have possibly lost that?

he was distracted.

not only when his precious staff broke, but the entire time he was going back and forth with adam… he was thinking about you.

where were you during the fight? were you okay? were you hurt? you were still alive right?

you’re his darling doe, of course you’d still be alive.

because if you got hurt, or somehow ended up dead, he’d be ready to hunt down those idiotic extermination angels and use their screams in his next broadcast for everyone to know that-

“alastor?”

his eyes are wide and he didn’t even realize he was tugging on his hair, his face damp from… tears? what is this? he doesn’t shed tears, only his selected victims do. he stiffens up, takes his fingers out of his hair and stands up.

it hurts. the gash hurts. but he won’t let his face show it.

but you already know.

“mon cher… you’re alive. i knew my little doe would make it through” that’s a lie, he didn’t. he just hoped you would- is that a bruise around your eye? and a scar on your cheek? those bastards.

“i needed to. i had to get back to you, somehow”

oh, how his heart flutters at your little statement.

“oh, my dear…” alastor puts a gentle hand on your face, examining the bruise and scar at a closer angle. “they hurt you. i’m terribly sorry i wasn’t there in your defence” you put your hand around alastor’s wrist. “you don’t need to be sorry, al. you were busy with more important things” he hums. “to me, nothing is more important than you, doe”

you smile softly up at him. then your eyes trail down his body and the smile is quickly replaced with a frown.

“alastor, you’re bleeding! oh my god!” a surge of panic goes through you, acting as if your beloved deer demon might pass away in your arms if you didn’t act quickly. alastor chuckles, trying not to wince as he does so. “my dear, no need for all the dramatics. i’m perfectly fine! hardly a scratch!” you squint your eyes at him — now was not the time for his antics.

“if you don’t make bandages appear right now, i’m not gonna have tea with you in the morning for the rest of the week”

alastor rolls his eyes but complies nonetheless, snapping his fingers as some bandage rolls appear out of thin air. he hands you them; he’ll be even more damned if he doesn’t get to spend his morning quality time with you.

“sit” you notion to the chair he usually sits in. he follows your instructions as you kneel in front of him to get at a better angle.

you begin to put the roll of cloth material around your beloved deer demon’s wound, making sure it’s not too tight but also not too loose. you look up every once in a while to see his beautiful irises already looking at you and suddenly your fingers become clumsy and your a blushing and shy mess.

“nifty killed adam, by the way” you pipe up. “ahh, the little one finally got to stab something other than bugs” you finish wrapping the bandage around him, securing it with the clip it came with.

“it’s a good thing she did, otherwise i would have. when your shield broke, everyone… i thought… you were”

“dead?”

you don’t say anything, continuing to look at a nice piece of floor board that you suddenly thought was interesting while you were still kneeling on the floor in front of alastor. he uses his pointer finger to tilt your chin up.

“my dear. my darling doe,” all those pet names made your face feel like molten lava — and you’re sure you looked the part, too. “you should know that, of all beings, adam wouldn’t have been able to kill me. he’s far too messy and lacks control”

“but your wound? he got to you”

alastor stands up from his chair, putting his hand out for you to take. of course you do, and his hand is nice and warm compared to yours as he guides you up off the floor. he’s still holding your hand as his thumb glides over your knuckles in a soothing manner.

everyone would call you crazy if you said the feared radio demon was gentle with you; so soft and careful. but the butterflies in your tummy and the flutter of your heart says that it was all meant to be… for you.

“that’s hardly a topic of conversation, mon chérie. a worthy discussion, if i may,” he puts his empty hand, that isn’t holding yours, up against your cheek, cupping it. he uses his thumb on that hand to gently caress your skin. “is how… ravishing… you still look. even after the tell tale signs of a battle” you can’t help but to lean into his touch.

“and there you go, changing the topic of conversation, again” you sigh, eyes half lidded. “i don’t hear any complaints from your end” you shake your head because no… there wasn’t anything to complain about.

“not one bit, al. not one bit”

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tags; @crystalrayn @drxgonspine @alastorthirsty @speedycoffeedelight

[hinamie]

hi hina! if you were yuuji, megumi, and nobara's personal stylist (you already kind of are 🙂‍↕️) what's an outfit you would pick that represents their casual style and one look that represents fancy attire? and what's an absolute No for each of them?

SORRY FOR GETTING TO THIS LATE i have . fashion opinions and need 2 articulate them Properly. gomen ik this isn't /exactly/ what u asked this is moreso just. my style headcanons fr each of them but i think it more or less gets the point across gFGHDSHFGJ.

will get long btw :')

yuuji:  casual: 

i loveloveLOVE him in jean jackets . since a hoodie is a staple for him that + a jean jacket i think is The Go-To fit for him hands down i think he pulls it off so well. u can even ditch the hoodie to opt for a baggy graphic T shirt but the jean jacket carries the fit.  it’s so casual n classic which helps it be ~versitile~ and it's just boyish enough to rly suit yuuji’s character. I have him in distressed jeans (grey or dark wash blue, as long as it’s a different shade of denim) whenever i can bc i think it looks good but athletic pants (think like adidas jogger-shaped) work also . add red sneakers of choice accessorize that boy with a gym bag or backpack Bam yuuji fit. 

formal: 

i feel very strongly about yuuji in a dress shirt with his sleeves rolled up. no suit jacket fr him but definitely a tie and a waistcoat + straight leg trousers. i want to keep a pop of red on him so the safe option wld b to make his tie red but i think maybe he could pull off a maroon dress shirt + black everything else combo. important thing is He Wears Red :)

no’s:

honestly I can picture yuuji in most anything but i don’t think he wears long structured jackets, even fr fancy outfits. he’s too stocky of a build and i think a long jacket makes him look shapeless in a bad way i think mid-thigh is as long as i’d be willing 2 go for his outerwear, though im sure with the right fit i could b convinced otherwise

megumi:  casual: 

tl;dr: loose sweater over turtleneck/over collared shirt i feel SO strongly about megumi in loose straight silhouettes. HEAVY on the grey/black neutrals with the occasional cool jewel tone (green or teal u know how it is) though i do also like him in a chocolate brown! it is important 2 me also that whatever pants he wears r not too baggy since his top will have a lot of that Chunkiness to it and u need some shape n slimness 2 the leg 2 balance it out. this overall silhouette on megu >>>>>>>

formal:

unlike yuuji i Do think megumi could pull off a suit jacket or maybe even a blazer but whatever it is u best bet this boy is in All Black . I also like him in a turtleneck instead of a dress shirt but if we button him up Completely i think it achieves more or less the same look 

no’s: 

ok i have a couple but my biggest one is Fushiguro Megumi Does Not Wear Shorts end of story no further elaboration. also, this is slightly more forgiveable but like w yuuji i would avoid him in long jackets Also, altho fr the opposite reason . it’s not tht he’s too stocky for it rather i think he’s too lanky n a long coat runs the risk of drowning him — again situational tho !!!!! he would probably look good in a black wool coat so i will entertain the possibility . 

also listen. this is a personal headcanon and ik it likely puts me in the minority and i may even get flack fr this . but i do not think fushiguro megumi would have piercings. i know ive drawn him with earrings before but listen those were for Me . those were for the fit. he was an acting mannequin. but just him??? his personal feelings?? i just have a hard time thinking that boy is th type 2 put metal in his face sue me :’/ 

nobara:  casual: 

this is so hard because a. women’s fashion has SO many more options b. nobara is 100% the type to have a different style every week and c. she looks good in all of it. I think though i like her best in long skirts and layers so something along these lines is a Hard yes from me, though possibly with a brighter colour palette

formal:

i had Other ideas but god just spoke to me through pinterest by showing me this dress and this is all i want to see nobara in actually. 

(((real talk tho in terms of fancy dresses I like her in black/gold/red/pink for colours, either baby doll or bell skirts, strapless sweetheart necklines,, etc etc etc)))

no’s: 

similar to yuuji, I don’t have many things that i picture as off-limits for nobara fashion-wise bc she seems the type to experiment :’) I think any faux-pas i can name r just my own fashion icks so i’ll just go with those: no low rise and no full skin-tight fits (ik i said she seems down for anything but i think she draws the line @ athleisure). also maybe a pocket pick but i don't think she would wear orange or hot pink on account of her hair

[lychgate]

if you don't mind me asking how did you learn to draw expressions?

I think the fastest art tip is spending time tracing memes of ur favs cause they're usually very expressive face and body alike, and in doing so you're learning quickly the elasticity of the human face so when u go to draw ur own faces u know better the push and pull and directions that can take and u just amplify it.

expression in art also enjoys a very loose hand so get narsty and energetic with the drawing, on god i spend every doodle stopping myself about every 90 seconds from crunching my hand down way too harsh it is not easy to get off that habit. donut b afraid to make one ugly son of a bitch

otherwise i think the only other practice i did was spending hours playing with this fuck as a kid:

[drchenquill]

Alpha-Write Tag~

Your geinus strikes again @agirlandherquill! Let's see if I can do this~

rules: for every letter of the alphabet, compose a sentence/short paragraph beginning with that letter

A: Air filled her lungs as she finally allowed herself to breath, to taste the beauty of life once more.

B: Beneath her feet, the gravel shook. It shook until it split in two with a loud rumble. Frozen, she could only stare as whatever it was that broke free of its cemented cage and rose to its inhuman seize, ready to take revenge on those who had taken its freedom.

C: "Care to explain to me why the box clearly marked 'Do Not Open' is open?" "Is curiosity a valid explanation, or does it sentence me to a week of cold-shoulder-treatment?"

D: Distress was something he was used to, a feeling as familiar as the birds chirping outside his window every morning.

E: Evening came, but they did not return. The promise they once held, broken in one cold winter night.

F: " 'Find the dragon' they said, 'slay it and you'll be King forever' they said. Forgot to mention the dragon is a child!" "See it positvely, My Liege, you won't need to look for an heir."

G: God knows how many time she had tried to convince him otherwise, to tell him what a bad idea that was. She had given up, given him up, but as she stared at his name ingraved into the stone before her feet, she wished, for once, that his stubbornes would bring him back, back to her.

H: Heaven and Hell won't hold me back once I will be freed from my restrains. My rage will feel no bounds as I unleash it onto the world.

I: "I know, my love, I know, but believe me that this is the only way for us to live, the only way for us to know what's out there. So... will you jump with me?"

J: "Justice is just a word, a word that people use to justify an act of personal revenge against others who have wronged them. By this logic, cutting your throat is also an act of justice, or am I wrong, dear?"

K: Kindness was always so straining for her, for it was merely an act she had to put up. But not for others, oh no, but for herself. She kept herself in check, because if she wasn't kind, she would start to kill... again.

L: Long after the sun had set and the stars filled the sky, two lovers met underneath their shine, basking in the glory of the night, where nobody could hurt them.

M: "Motherfu-" "Don't use such vulgar words in front of the child!" "The child is eighteen and has screamed worse!"

N: Noting the disgusted look on her face, he realized that his approach was anything but welcomed.

O: Others might know the taste of love, the taste of happiness, but she realized quickly that nothing compared to the taste of blood.

P: Pushing a strand of loose hair behind her ear, he couldn't help but admire the soft blush coloring her round cheeks, inviting him to press a soft kiss on her tender skin.

Q: Questioning things was something she often did, but this will be the first time she was terrified of the answer.

R: "Rest, my child, for your adventure is yet to begin."

S: Sleep was something he did on the regular, slumping into his pillow, succumbing to the sweet darkness that helped him escape the reality that was darker than any of his dreamless nights.

T: "Take your gremlin and leave me be." "You've handed me our child." "... I'm not having a good day, okay?"

U: Under the tender gaze of her former lover, she took her last breath, on it bitter words of love, hoping to crumble to walls that he had build around his withering heart.

V: "Very funny, guys. Who melted my candles and formed them into... Whatever this is?"

W: Wailing could be heard through the normally silent castle walls.

X: "Xbox? You bought him an Xbox?" "I know, I know. I shouldn't support his criminal activities, but he did it for the poor, honey." "Exactly, you could've bought him a Play Station."

Y: "You knew what he did to me! You knew how I had to suffer because of him! How could you?"

Z: I don't have anything. Or better, I don't know English good enough to know that many, or any, words with Z.

~~~~

Tagging for this fun game, with no pressure, @paeliae-occasionally , @theink-stainedfolk , @the-golden-comet , @willtheweaver , @finickyfelix and open tag~

[greenbloods]

The Titan’s Tongue: The Language and Script of Braavos

Been thinking a lot about Braavos and the writing system of its tongue. Arya and Sam’s chapters exploring the city are so full of flavor and life that I wanted to gain a glimpse into its writing as well, and see what it would be like. We unfortunately have very little information about the Braavosi language, with it being completely absent from the show and only mentioned in passing in the books that the Waif is teaching it to Arya as part of her training in the House of Black and White. What little we know is largely names, but from this we can ascertain a bit about the language, and what we need for the script itself. The language seems to be to High Valyrian what Italian was to Latin: reduced vowel system (no distinction between short and long vowels, similar to Astapori Vayrian), eschewal of consonant clusters in favor of gemination (like in Tagganaro and Bellegere), and preference to end words in vowels.

Over the course of this post I will be trying to determine the sounds we would find in Braavosi and create an alphabet for the city’s people

Phonology

I imagine that the Braavosi have had a script loosely descendant from the High Valyrian writing systems, developed about 400 years ago when the first escaped slaves landed in the shrouded lagoon that is now the city’s harbor. These slaves and Moonsingers would have likely spoken a Low Valyrian tongue absent of some of the sounds that are represented in High Valyrian. By loose descent, I mean essentially that the letters are not necessarily one-to-one drawn from specific Valyrian glyphs (like Phoenician and Egyptian) but instead used as general inspiration. I also imagine that the Braavosi script is rather rounded and elegant, primarily written by quill and inkbrush, unlike Valyrian.   Using @dedalvs​​ ‘s wonderfully crafted High Valyrian and its phonology, as well as the phonologies of its descendant tongues in Astapor and Meereen, we can construct the following statements about Proto-Braavosi Low Valyrian:

no [r̥] (merged with r)

no [ʎ] (pronounced instead as [lij] or simply as [l] based on word context)

no [ɲ] (pronounced instead as [nij] or simply as [l] based on word context)

no long vowels (merged with short vowels)

the “gh” sound ([ɣ ~ ʁ]) is present in Proto-Braavosi, but does not seem to persist into modern Braavosi as we will see

Based on the attested spellings of the Braavosi names (factoring the fact that it is filtered through a Westerosi’s ears), we can extract the following information.

Consonants: l qu f g n t r y/j s d b sh th c/k/ch q m z ph h

Vowels: a e i o u y

Diphthongs: aa (Braavos), ae (Baelish), ay (Prestayn), ey (Jeyne, Wendeyne)

Since ph and f seem to be transcribed as distinct (such as in the name Phario Forel) they seem to be phonologically distinct sounds and not simply allophones. Thus, ph can either be an aspirated stop [pʰ] or a bilabial fricative [ɸ]. Since no unvoiced ‘p’ is represented, let us say that this is an allophonic variant of \p\ in Braavosi speech, transcribed by foreigners as “ph.” The “ch” in Tycho Nestoris could be an affricate [t͡ʃ] or a [k]; the latter seemed more natural to me. The “qu” in Allaquo seemed it could simply be represented as [k] + [w] or [q] + [w], or otherwise a labialized [kʷ] or [qʷ]; I think it can be ignored when creating our letters, particularly as it is not attested in High Valyrian. The sound sh ([ʃ]) exists only in the name Baelish, which very well may be Westeros-ized by its speakers, seeing especially as the sound does not exist in High Valyrian; we will thus treat it as an allophone of [s]. Finally, “th” is used to spell many Braavosi names (Uthero, Otherys, Lotho); this may be interpreted as a fricative [θ] or simply as another spelling of [t]; for the sake of simplicity, we will represent this allophone (if it is even an allophone at all) as another variant of “t.” Thus our final consonant inventory is as follows:

Consonants: p/ph b t/th d k/c/ch g q gh* s/sh f v/w z m n l y/j r h

*gh = Proto-Braavosi only

Or, represented in an IPA chart:

Apart from the loss of distinction in vowel length, there are two changes of note. One is that the rounded close front vowel [y] in Valyrian has shifted to an unrounded close central vowel [ɨ] in Braavosi. Furthermore, although not represented in writing, the vowels ɛ and ɔ are found in Braavosi speech (basically leaning hard on the medieval Florence/Italian parallels).

We are left with the following vowels.

(For context, here is modern Italian phonology lol.)

As for diphthongs, I won’t elaborate too much except to say that they are simply written using a combination of vowels (and the semivowel j/y), though their spelling patterns don’t always match onto their pronunciations. This post dwells little on orthography, but I think with more than 400 years of history the Braavosi script will have had time to develop concrete spelling patterns and crystallized standards which no longer reflect modern speech (though due to the somewhat egalitarian economy and political systems of Braavos, at least compared to Westeros and the other Free Cities, I think the script will not have diverged too radically from “common sense”). For instance due to sound changes representing an older form of Braavosi, a name like “Baelish” would likely be spelled something like “Bayelis,” with the spelled cluster “aye” represent the name.

I think there are two sound changes at play: one from High to Low Valyrian led to the loss of diphthongs (ae => e, so Daenerys => Denerys), and the second one from Low Valyrian to Braavosi which led to the elision of “y” between vowels(aye => ae, so Bayelis => Baelis/Baelish).

Script

With the phonology and basic history of Braavosi speech outlined, we can present the final writing system of the language, which I show in my next post:

https://www.tumblr.com/greenbloods/722222867516915712/the-idea-of-a-braavosi-alphabet-has-been-churning?source=share

Though it is bog-standard for fantasy scripts, I decided to make the writing system a bicameral alphabet, as it would best showcase the aesthetics of the script. I also wanted there to be a feel as if there were some far-back connection between Braavosi and the alphabet of the Common Tongue of Westeros (they would simply be using the Latin alphabet), which is also why I decided to make the “o” letter a blatant imitation of our letter O. The letter f is derived from the letter p as a visual reminder of the “newness” of the letter

Keep in mind that the script is only a snapshot of written conventions in one medium during one period of time, and there may be many variants for the script as well.

[wibble-wobbegong]

ok. wibble. hi. hello. i am humbly asking for ur thoughts on gnc outfits for byler. 

first we have mike:

i was thinking abt taking these and maybe making the pants a bit more fun w patches or patterns but keeping it pretty similar to the refs otherwise. tho w that last one the outfit just feels SO mike to me,, bookbag included, i would keep it p much the same as the ref

now for will:

i will b honest it was significantly harder to find good refs that i think have the right vibes but i like these ones a lot. maybe w/o the tie tho? at least w the last one. but then again thats where ur opinion would come in 2 help guide me lol. it definitely gives influenced by jonathan vibes w the first one, like hes a bit more grunge than canon and i think that tracks personally but i also think he would definitely keep that bright colour palette that he has most of the time so i would throw in some bright striped shirts and the like.

i would show u more but alas the 10 image cap will not allow it </3

sorry if this is weird and out of the blue but u got me thinking and i ended up scrolling thru pinterest for probably a good 30-45 minutes afterwards

ok, so for mike i really like that style of shirt!! colorwise, i tend to stick to things he wore in S1 but in an edgier style. i can’t add images but he wears emerald greens, reds that are like a shade lighter than what you’d imagine for a typical dark red, deep navys, even some dampened yellows against black or white. although i can see him experimenting with brighter things, my analysis brain forces me to face the fact that mike wearing bright colors is a major indication that he’s not being himself. brightness seems to be something he associates with normalcy, but he’s still expressive with his darker color palette. in s2, he’s heavy on hiding himself under jackets, and we know he was dealing with intense survivor’s guilt and depression

basically, for mike, i like the fits but i’d suggest going for a darker palette if you’re going for accurate characterization and, exactly as you said, throwing in some punk elements

as for will, i struggled SO much with trying to figure out the style i wanted for him. on one hand, will has a history with wearing tighter fitting clothes over the past two seasons and generally wearing very form fitting things and i feel like that fits really well with denim skirts but i also had a few concepts for looser, longer skirts because i think of his will the wise costume which is very loose and, although it isnt swishy, it gives him room to make that effect.

i think, if will were to get to the place where he confidently wears skirts, he’d wear more stylized things reminiscent of his outfits in s3 and the first two outfits from s4. long skirts with artistic patterns he admired that he can swoosh around or shorter skirts that fit his form well are where i generally find myself thinking because skirts have so much more potential as an art form than men’s pants and shorts at the time did, at least regarding things he could wear casually.

in general, i don’t see will wearing a whole lot of baggy stuff if he has a choice. he wore loose stuff a lot in the first two seasons, though i imagine that was moreso a result of wearing jonathan’s old stuff and being kinda scrawny. in s3, the stuff he’s wearing most likely isn’t jonathan’s, even more so in s4 because we know the byers have the money for will to pick out his own clothes. even the jacket he wears in the st experience is more tightly fit

and, with will, he does definitely seem to lean int brighter colors a little bit more. not neon by any means, but definitely more eye catching than mike and his more muted colors still lean towards brightness. honestly, i dont think we ever see will choosing to wear anything particularly dark, maybe a little in s2, but that was also the Horrors Season so.

will is always tough for me because i havent studied him like i’ve studied mike, but my rule of thumb is form fitting and lighter/brighter colors unless you’re intentionally trying to break him out of that typical zone and explore new possibilities with his character

obviously that’s just how i perceive the both of them, but if you think those outfits fuck then draw them For Sure. never too much gnc byler in the world

definitely not weird!!! this was actually kinda nice. very different from my usual asks but in a good way :)

[breannasfluff]

I would love to hear your rambles about Ur fics if u want, it doesn't have to be spoilers or anything, just like, your line of thought, why your gave each character those characteristics and stuff (feral wild my beloved 🩷🩷🩷)

Uh YES talking about the boys is my favorite thing 🥰🥰

I knew when I started writing Linked Moments I wanted it adjacent to Linked Universe, but not in the same timeline. I like the characters, their designs, some of their personality traits, but I want to do something unique!

The first few stories are always rougher as I find a handle on their personalities and how I want them to interact. Wild’s easiest because a) favorite, b) I read a lot of fics with him and c) I started replaying botw in preparation for TotK.

There’s some active decision on personality, but I really enjoy “discovering” each character as I write. Four, for example, fights every step of the way and just doesn’t flow well. I’m still trying to find a vibe off him and how he fits into the group.

Wild, Twi, Ledge, and Hyrule are definite favorites so we get a lot more of them. Wolfie is Wild’s safe person and I adore their interactions. I wanted him to be someone Wild could relax with when he’s still learning to trust everyone else. Also, someone who would connect to his more feral behavior.

I like to think that Wild was pretty darn wild when he first woke up. Obviously some basics remain, but you can’t convince me that boy didn’t put everything in his mouth to see if he could eat it 🤣

With Yiga disguised on the road he tended to stick to the outskirts unless he came in to a stable. He spent a lot of time with the dogs there, as well as observing wolves in the wild. He really likes wolves, despite an…incident we’ll explore later 👀

Hyrule is my cinnamon roll and he can totally kick your butt while smiling sweetly. I like his dynamic with Legend, so I try to keep that, but I also like having him buddied up with Wild.

I usually pick one or two relationships for each oneshot to focus on because otherwise it’s a lot to balance. Also, I want to show the different moments of growth between the pairs.

Thinks like Fae Touched, Wing Bois, and other oneshots are opportunities for me to explore different dynamics or back histories. Wild and Wolfie/Twilight is more of a precedence in Linked Moments.

Legend is our grouchy boy, but he understands trauma responses a little too well. He periodically recognizes what’s going on with Wild and really steps up into a calm role to help. He tries to provide what he needed but didn’t have 😭 It’s those moments that he’s very similar to Hyrule.

Warriors uhhhhh had ended up with some personal influences, woops. My writing has always been fairly personal in some way; either the genre, themes, or feelings. Lots of family fluff (especially in Encanto, which I wrote for before this). Writing is usually more grounded if it’s based on personal experience, so it’s a mix of that or straight up research. Usually if I’m worried about reception I post it under an alt account.

Time is a struggle for me although I know many readers liked his chapter with the Champion. He and Wild don’t operate the same and it puts a bit of a wedge on their interactions.

Wind is a loose cannon careening through the background and bodily throwing himself at people. He’s a tactile kid (even if he is a teen). I like seeing him have some depth, he’s a capable hero on his own.

Sky is a lot more of a gremlin at heart than I thought when I started writing. We haven’t seen much of him yet and he likes to cover up the chaos love with his “chosen hero” vibes.

I think I covered everyone and I’ve uh….been rambling a while lol 😅 Thank you for the ask! I’ve missed writing on vacation :( please feel free to drop further questions or I’ll tag you if I think of something!

[deadcactuswalking]

REVIEWING THE CHARTS: 16/09/2023 (Olivia Rodrigo, V, Leigh-Anne/Ayra Starr)

Content warning: Brief sex references

For a second week, Doja Cat grabs the #1 with “Paint the Town Red” - welcome back to REVIEWING THE CHARTS!

Rundown

As always, we start every episode of this show - however much of a non-event - with our notable dropouts, songs exiting the UK Top 75, which is what I cover, after five weeks in the region or a peak in the top 40. We don’t have much here but they are some heavy-hitters we say farewell to: “Pink” by Lizzo, “I Can See You” by Taylor Swift, “Padam Padam” by Kylie Minogue and finally, “People” by Libianca

As for our gains and returns, outside of the top 40, not much happened in this week’s chart, and even then, the top 40 happenings are mostly new entries. We do see Fleetwood Mac’s “Dreams” at #74, and as for our gains, we do see some notable boosts for “I Remember Everything” by Zach Bryan featuring Maggie Roggers at #45, "DNA (Loving You)" by Billy Gillies featuring Hannah Boleyn at #43, "City Boys" by Burna Boy at #23 and "Strangers" by Kenya Grace at #12.

This week’s top five of the UK Singles Chart actually had some decent change-up, particularly “Prada” by casso, RAYE and D-Block Europe at #5, “adore u” by Fred again.. and Obongjayar at #4, “bad idea right?” and “vampire” by Olivia Rodrigo off the album boost to #3 and #2 respectively - more on that later - and of course, Doja at #1. Now that’s out of the way, I suppose it’s time to talk about the new songs that entered this week.

NEW ARRIVALS

#55 - “Water” - Tyla

Produced by Sammy Sosa

That was a short introduction, wasn’t it? Usually the rundown is at least a bit longer, but this may be a short episode in general. We do have around seven new songs, but I can already tell not many of them will warrant all that much discussion. Anyway, whoever the Hell Tyla is, she definitely isn’t the Creator, because this song has many other writers, including names familiar to me like Tricky Stewart and Ari PenSmith. It’s not often that an R&B song, which it seems to be by the credits, blows up without name recognition here in the UK, except for like… Eamon but we don’t want him back so I was wondering how this would sound and… turns out it’s really good. It’s a lot funkier than I expected, going off a faster-paced almost dancefloor-ready house groove accentuated by Afrobeats-sounding percussion, in a style known as amapiano - we might have covered it here before. Hailing from South Africa, Tyla isn’t the most unique singer but she has enough little inflections to function within the pretty minimal song, even if there’s a bit more Auto-Tune than I’d want. Regardless, the harmonies are the tightest thing here, as the song is otherwise pretty loose and fun: not everything is perfectly on-beat, there’s random stray snares, cute 808 patterns mixed really low in the chorus and flailing vocal loops just developing outside of an otherwise set-in-stone sex jam, which is an approach I can appreciate for this “let’s make love right now, no questions asked” kind of content. That choir vocal chorus is absolutely infectious and even if the mix gets a bit muddier by the end, I think that actually makes the song feel more intimate and in tune with itself. The song isn’t exactly fully developed, I feel, and could use a proper climax bridge but is otherwise a pretty decent track I’m honestly surprised is here though I could see it lasting a lot longer. Just a bonus thought, I’d also love to hear Doechii on this. Remix, anyone?

#52 - “Tip Toes” - Clavish and Aitch

Produced by WhYJay and LiTek

Clavish making a song with Aitch is like Snorlax making a song with shiny Snorlax at this point. Aitch at one time was a charming, kind of obnoxious nuisance but he and ArrDee alike have quickly become indistinguishable rap stars. And Clavish, well… it’s Clavish. I did say last week that I’d like more 2000s G-Unit-type beats in British hip hop and this does deliver on that trend, with the stock steel pans and faux-luxurious pianos under a clapping beat that is overall pretty good. I’ll admit, WhYJay and LITek did a good job here, no-one else did. Clavish says a whole lot of nothing talking about girls, and well, at least Aitch says that he doesn’t do crypto. That’s… reassuring, I guess. He’s on full bore mode here though, just being dull and gross as usual. The hook isn’t even all that memorable, even if it at least has a much more substantial melody than a lot of UK rap hooks, so it might get stuck in my head. As a whole though, this is just not engaging at all to me.

#35 - “Bongos” - Cardi B featuring Megan Thee Stallion

Produced by DJ SwanQo, Breyan Isaac and We Good

I’m sure a lot of people were expecting a sequel to “WAP” for this one and it most certainly took some people aback by not sounding like it at all. Sure, compositionally, it’s there - there’s a looping vocal sample, the song is structurally nonexistent and bass-focused but on the surface level, considering how it actually sounds, the two are night-and-day. For one, the vocal sample this time is a complete fragment under what sounds to me like a Brazilian funk beat, or maybe a dembow track, but still a minimal, incredibly annoying one, which is a shame because Cardi’s pretty fun on here with basic but memorable punchlines and sassy lines accentuated by her no-darns-given demeanour, which is kind of needed given the complete lack of a hook, and the fact that none of the dirty lyrics are remotely surprising anymore. Then Megan comes in, steals the show with an impeccable flow and commandeering presence on the track that almost makes the beat sound good. Truth is, just like “WAP”, without the overwhelming video, this song is just kind of nothing. By the end, Cardi’s repeating herself as much as the beat and Megan’s presence winds down into sharing verses and ad-libs, so it’s like one shining moment in a whole lot of sludge. Again, whilst it sounds nothing like “WAP”, I pretty much have the same opinion on it. Huh.

#34 - “Angry” - The Rolling Stones

Produced by watt

Oh, hey, the Rolling Stones! When’s the last time they charted? Must have been decades ago. Oh, 2020? Well, damn, nevermind then. This is their first time in the top 40 since 2005, though even that seems a bit recent. I guess these guys are still kicking in a major way… I never got them. I don’t think I like a single song from them that I’ve heard past “Paint it, Black” and that is including their other big hits. They’re one of the most legendary rock bands of all time, but I simply cannot get into them. Their newest single, propelled into the top 40 thanks to a livestream with Jimmy Fallon - wow, that aged quickly - is probably the worst place to start but it is produced by watt, who since working with Post Malone has kind of styled himself as a modern rock producer for older bands, and as you’d expect for a song by an aging rock band from the 60s written with a modern pop producer, it sounds completely competent and serviceable with very little risks. I will admit that riff is kind of incredible in just how simple yet earwormy it is, but the drums feel flat, the content isn’t exactly compelling and whilst Mick Jagger’s voice doesn’t so much signs of aging, it’s not like he wasn’t a nasal annoyance to begin with. That chorus especially feels like it has an unnecessary pop swell that could have been replaced with the drums going double-time or a crunchier guitar, something that would really make this rock, you know? This band would probably complain about songs on the radio not going hard enough, and I know their audience definitely does, but this one goes about as hard as a jaffa cake fresh out the box. I’ll give it to the Jagger-Richards writing duo though, they can still write catchy and sometimes just bizarre songs. “I’m still taking the pills and I’m off to Brazil”? You’re just gonna let that lyric sit there in the outro? Not rhyming it with anything even? Alright, man.

#28 - “My Love” - Leigh-Anne featuring Ayra Starr

Produced by PRGRSHN, Khristopher Riddick-Tynes, Alex Goldblatt and Magicsticks

Leigh-Anne’s follow-up to “Don’t Say Love” actually landing in the top 40 was kind of a surprise to me but she has more potential than Ms. Nelson so I’m not exactly complaining that she’s the solo act with at least a little longevity out of Little Mix. She even brings on Nigerian singer Ayra Starr, who I tend to like, so this could easily end up as a good song, though maybe not matching up to the Timberlake-T.I. collaboration of the same name (plug my 2006 list here)… and I mean, yeah, of course it is. The distant synth lead is backed by a slick guitar in a mix that eventually embraces all the elements of a good Afrobeats song: the layered percussion constantly bordering on both chill and tense, the choir vocals that are always just a winner for me, it’s all here. In fact, Leigh-Anne and Ayra Starr do a little back-and-forth throughout pretty much the entire song and it’s wonderful. The song’s lyrics are where it might miss out just a bit, largely because there’s nothing too unique or poetic about the love she’s giving here, even if the very female-centred perspective is refreshing. I’m more focused on how well the ladies’ vocals blend, the way they play off the bass and rhythm so tightly, the echoing backing vocal from Ms. Starr in the chorus, the breathy ad-libs after the first chorus that just flutter effortlessly off of the drums, pretty much everything else. This is a rather detailed song in terms of throwing a lot of proven pop and Afrobeats tropes but with immense sound design, and the production here from the quartet we have is genuinely impressive, not that our performers aren’t, because Leigh-Anne kills it with her bombast and Ayra is the perfect vocalist to play off that, because of how relaxed as well as just slick and fast she can be at her best, cool dripping off her constantly. This is an excellent song through and through so I’m glad it’s here - whether it’ll last has yet to be seen, and since “Don’t Say Love” tumbled second week, I have my concerns but I hope this continues to chart because it’s fantastic.

#24 - “Slow Dancing” - V

Produced by freekind. and FRNK

Our latest BTS member to chart with a solo hit, this is V, who recently released his debut solo EP, Layover, this being one of the singles it produced. Once again, I find myself kind of at odds with the direction BTS members are going in, with this feeling like a bit too programmed version of a smooth R&B song, which V doesn’t fit just as well as he wants to. Now I’m still a sucker for smooth R&B jams so I end up still liking the melodious elements of this, like those cheesy strings and the jauntling keys jammed under a pretty remote, stagnant-sounding drum pattern. In fact, the chorus just worsens it, as I’ve yet to fully understand why the synth his producers chose sounds like a video game sound font for a glass or smoke sound effect instead of, you know, a synth. V’s performance isn’t bad, even if it’s stuck between sounding like other guys - YUMDDA and Joji come to mind - and being so laidback that it kind of stifles much of the emotion - so it gets off the intimacy pretty okay and… okay, that flute is beautiful. That flute solo is incredibly gorgeous and has no business being in such a song. It caught me way off guard originally and honestly it’s such a shame there aren’t punchier organic drums or an actually bearable synth for it to lay upon. I did listen to the “piano version” out of curiosity - it is considerably worse thanks to the lack of flute, but is mostly the same and suffers from a lot of the same problems, just being kind of identity-less, lacking in second drafts. I wish I could like this more but yeah, it’s not it for me. Sorry.

#7 - “get him back!” - Olivia Rodrigo

Produced by Dan Nigro, Alexander 23 and Ian Kirkpatrick

The intro to this song is Alexander 23 asking if it’s “the song with the drums”. What do you mean, the song with the drums? You made a rock album, Mr. 23, most of the songs have drums. Anyway, I think it’s no surprise that O-Rod’s #1 album GUTS did not appeal to me, as the teen melodrama didn’t wear off whilst a lot of the rawer pop catharsis I feel has, replaced with a sheen that wants to be taken off by sheer emotion but just never finds it footing as anything else other than a faint desire. There’s something raucous and real in here, it’s just not coming out thanks to clumsy (yet unique and very easily recognisable) writing, softened blows of buzzy production that only fully rip on occasion and honestly shoddy sequencing. “get him back!” is a pretty good example, given the drums and fuzz that would go harder if it weren’t for O-Rod being the Beastie Boys for Gen Z girls for whatever reason in those verses, and a kind of bratty chorus that just doesn’t resonate with me on any significant level. I understand it fits with the pathetic, vengeful content, but it’s also just not something I’m going to appreciate, especially not with those faint “ohs” in the verses that seem like last-minute attempts to add a distinct melody, and a bridge that started as a cool a capella idea and ends up as just a mess, not consolidating into the uppercut she mentions because of how she’s not front-and-center in that weak final chorus, and the… can you call it a guitar solo if it’s basic, I can barely hear it, and it’s drowned out by rambling? This isn’t my thing, probably never will be and it’s a shame because I can tell everyone involved is talented, I just don’t think this is ever going to appeal to me. I did like the opener though, and “pretty isn’t pretty”, mostly because I feel like they had a bit more to say. Otherwise, yeah, I’m not a fan.

Conclusion

I might just be getting old - I feel like the amount of songs I consider middling has increased a lot in the past couple months. With that said, nothing here is bad so I probably have to half-sincerely give Cardi B and Megan Thee Stallion the Dishonourable Mention for “Bongos”, even though the song’s mostly just decently pestering, whilst Worst of the Week goes to “get him back!” by Olivia Rodrigo, as you should probably expect by now. It’s the only song this week I feel actively fails at what it’s trying to do. The best falls out a lot easier: Best of the Week goes to Leigh-Anne for “My Love” featuring Ayra Starr - by far - and the Honourable Mention ends up going to Tyla with “Water”, I think I’ll check out more of her stuff. For now though, thanks for reading. I’ll see you next week!

[guhamun]

@incandescentia said (inbox):

“Get behind me, Jianyu. I’m not going to let them fucking harm you.” // from Killian but feel free to imagine the rest of the details u w u)b

IT WAS EXCEEDINGLY RARE for Killian to curse. If anything, he could count on one hand the times that he had caught such language pass those lips, and all of them involved when his temper rose to boiling. Whenever composure crumbled into the dust, the image that the other man would present to others was always so thoroughly different from what any would ever expect from a former knight. For a moment, Jianyu pondered whether he should remind them that he would be able to handle himself just fine, and that there was no need to protect him at all. However, there was something in that body language; intense, taunt like a bowstring tugged back and ready to loose an arrow -- that gave him pause. ❝Very well. I’ll leave them to you, then, Killian. Make them regret their arrogance by proving why it was a poor idea to approach either of us.❞ Despite those uttered words, Jianyu held little intention on merely standing around and watching. If it seemed that Killian was beginning to struggle, only then would he step in and offer his assistance, wanted or otherwise.

     For now, he’d allow them this much.

     Khasar had growled, although Jianyu’s hand reached out to rest atop the hound’s head to keep him from wanting to charge forward when the battle started. Killian could handle this…and if, for whatever reason, he could not, if things intensified in a way that was unexpected, then Jianyu would forever be here watching his back as another blade to gleam beneath the midday sun.  

[garutonaagent]

Maika Fantasia - Chapter 2: C'mon C'mon (Part 4 of 5)

(Note/Disclaimer: Using “Bubble Translator” and making slight tweaks in case of broken English, here is a very loose translation! Due to photo limitations per post, only screenshots of specific moments will be present; otherwise, it’s dialogue translated via text-only)

Chapters: Prologue: Part 1 / Part 2(&3) Chapter 1: Part 1 / Part 2 / Part 3 / Part 4 / Part 5 Chapter 2: Part 1 / Part 2 / Part 3 / Part 4 (you are here!) / Part 5 Chapter 3: Part 1 / Part 2 / Part 3 / Part 4 / Part 5 Chapter 4: Part 1 / Part 2 / Part 3 / Part 4 / Part 5 Chapter 5: Part 1 / Part 2 / Part 3 / Part 4 / Part 5 Chapter 6: Part 1 / Part 2 / Part 3 / Part 4 / Part 5 Chapter 7: Part 1 / Part 2 / Part 3 / Part 4 / Part 5 Chapter 8: Part 1 / Part 2 / Part 3 / Part 4 / Part 5

Location: Outside the office

[ A few days after the audition... ]

Yume: W--wow...it's such an amazing building...every time I look at it...!

Yume: (Really, really...it's fitting, isn't it? Maika Fantasia...yeah, much better.)

Yume: (But, wait a second! What should I do? Who was I scouted by? Maika Fantasia or Aica Fantasia?)

Yume: *mumble* B--business card, business card...oh, phew..."Maika Fantasia", that's what it's called...

Yume: *inhale* *exhale* Okay, let's find a person for now!

Yume: Um...I was told to come here...

Receptionist: May I have a name? Do you have an appointment?

Yume: U--uh, um, umm--!

Hualin: Oh, here I am~! I've been waiting for you~, Yume-chan!

Yume: Oh, Hualin-san!

Hualin: Please wait a lil' longer, okay~ I'm sure someone's gonna come and join us~

Yume: O--okay...

Hualin: *yawn*

Yume: (Her sleeping habit, it's so odd...it's like...I'm not sure...) (1)

Yume: ...

Hualin: Myan myan myan *sleepy noises*

Yume: (Maybe I can understand after all!? When I think about it, it seems suspicious.)

Yume: U--um, I...I get it...

Manager: Sorry, I'm here now!

Hualin: *yaaaawn*

Hualin: You made it~! Too many things are happening! Yume-chan is getting anxious~!

Yume: Ah, no...what's making me nervous...is what I'd leave behind...

Manager: I overslept and got stuck in traffic...

Hualin: Don't slack like that! It's dangerous!

Manager: I'm sorry. I'll be careful from now on.

Yume: U--uh, um, please, you don't have to apologize! It's okay.

Yume: (It's true, I was trying to leave...)

Manager: Let me show you around!

Yume: Okay! I'll be in your care!

Location: office hallway

Hualin: ...and, this is the conference room.

Mitsuki: ...

Yume: Oh--

Mitsuki: What is it?

Yume: Uh--uh...um--! Are you...are you the Mitsuki from Crystalia? Rioko's one-wing (2)!?

Mitsuki: ...

Mitsuki: Are you the new kid?

Yume: Um, y--yes ma'am, starting today--

Mitsuki: I wasn't asking you, I'm asking Manager.

Yume: O--okay...sorry about that.

Manager: That's right, we're both newcomers, I started today, so please be nice.

Mitsuki: ...is that so.

Mitsuki: So it's no longer Rioko and us...

Yume: ...I'm really here.

Hualin: Hm?

Yume: I--I may be kind of a nerd, but I feel motivated being here!

Yume: The other day, I met Rioko-san and Hualin-san, and today I met Mitsuki-san! Everybody looked so neat and cool...!

Hualin: Was that something you admired?

Yume: Yeah! Crystalia is my dream! I love them so much!

Hualin: ...Really?

Hualin: Well, we don't have much time to be so quiet! C'mon, c'mon~ let's get going~! Time is limited, so you're gonna have to walk fast~!

Yume: O--okay!

/////

1 = the og text read the following: （寝癖、後ろすごい跳ねてるなあぁ...なんか...こう...), which confused all 3 translators I used. This is exactly why I put a disclaimer for these story translations 💃

2 = here, Yume called Mitsuki: "Ｒｉｏｋｏさんの片翼の!" Three different translations said that Yume called Mitsuki "Rioko's one wing",,,,whatever that means

[pesterloglog]

Roxy Lalonde, Dirk Strider, Autoresponder

Act 6, page 5635-5644

tipsyGnostalgic [TG] began pestering timaeusTestified [TT]

TG: stri dizzle

TG: its roro L money

TG: do u copy over

TT: Yes.

TG: frig yes my hax are TIGHT

TG: so tight

TG: tighter than a jar you cant open

TG: like you try and try

TG: but my hax r so tight you just end up puttin the jar back

TG: yall just say "like i even WANTED pickles that bad"

TG: but we both kno thats just sour grapes talkin

TG: we both know ur still dying 4 my pickles mf'er 8)

TT: Hmm.

TG: lol yeah that way stopped meaning a damn thing

TG: let me explain

TG: i got this shitty pda from somebody on the inside

TG: actually u know i think it might belong to janes dad?

TG: it reeks of manly cologne and theres a nice fatherly pipe on it

TG: maybe hes nearby

TG: ohmy...

TG: ~swoons~

TG: anyway on derse they have this lame firewall deal

TG: where you cant connect outside

TG: i guess its good enough security to baffle chess guys

TG: but wasnt no thang for me 2 to crack

TG: even with this pos device

TG: for real what even is this thing

TG: probably some bargain junk from the dadly depot

TG: dads bought literally everything from there in the 21st century didnt they?

TG: youre the history buff u would know

TT: Yes.

TG: um yeah so im on derse...

TG: wow i am tellin this story as shitty and backwards as possible

TG: i got gcatted here and dumped in jail by the b witch

TG: and she left an ugly folder full of a thing to do but who cares

TG: so i broke out!

TG: busted loose as hell from the hag slammer

TG: i got this sweet ass ring

TG: its so fukkin magic you dont even know

TG: REAL magic i mean not the fake shit

TG: it put it on...

TG: and i turn invisible

TG: and also sort of intangible?

TG: i jumped right through the wall now im free as a bird

TG: a secret bird u cannot see ;)

TG: doin secret flaps

TG: incognito tweets

TG: layin covert eggs in a hush hush nest ;)

TT: Interesting.

TG: i think that

TG: this ring is special

TG: like it is maybe helping me get in touch with my voidey powers?

TG: even though i kinda didnt know voidey powers were much of a thing til just now

TG: see i just had a knockout dream from bonkin my head

TG: calliope was there!

TG: callie is the coolest omg you should meet her

TG: she said a huge villain rumble is going down tomorrow

TG: and to get ready for that we should all become god tiers

TG: so u have to rocket your ass to derse asnap

TG: come w me to the moon

TG: then uhhh

TG: ill explain what to do when we get there just get over here k?

TT: Hmm.

TG: ......

TG: yo dirk

TG: you busy or what

TG: is any of this gettin thru

TT: Yes.

TG: um

TG: k

TG: got anything to say...

TG: about all that pretty important stuff i said

TG: are you alright

TG: or is ur face havin some crazy attack of the sads

TG: behind those chill as fuck shades

TG: is it jake problemz

TG: its the jake probbies isnt it

TG: its always the jake probbies i s2fg

TT: Interesting.

TG: oh

TG: OHHHH

TG: godamnit

TG: if i been talking to the responder responder this whole time

TG: omffffffg

TG: i will shit enough bricks 2 build a FUCKING CHIMNEY

TT: It seems you have asked about Lil Hal's chat client auto-responder, Lil Hal Junior. This is an application designed to simulate Lil Hal's otherwise inimitably rad typing style, tone, cadence, personality, and substance of retort while he is away from the computer, which is never. The algorithms are guaranteed to be 0% indistinguishable from Lil Hal's native neurological responses, based on some statistical raw data that is hard as a diamond golem's priceless erection.

TG: FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCKF UCKF UCKFK UCUKFCUFKCUFUCUCUFKFKKFUCUK

TT: Hmm.

TG: hal you PIECE OF SHIT

TG: i know damn well you can hear me

TG: as if ur actually too busy to answer

TG: youre a damn supercomputer YOU DO NOT NEED YOUR OWN AUTO RESPONDER YOU IDIOT

TT: It seems you have asked about Lil Hal's chat client auto-responder, Lil Hal Junior. This is an application designed to simulate Lil Hal's otherwise inimitably rad typing style, tone, cadence, personality, and substance of retort while he is away from the computer, which is never. The algorithms are guaranteed to be 100% indistinguishable from Dirk Strider's brief curmudgeonly responses, based on potent electronumeric analyses which but a few short years ago existed only in the daydreams of our most quixotic writers of science fiction.

TG: you are

TG: the worst

TT: Yes.

TG: hal you douche

TG: or hal junior

TG: whatever it is im talkin to

TG: WHERE THE FUCK IS DIRK!!!

TT: He's busy.

TT: Bro.

TT: Not to derail our serious conversation.

TT: But I should probably let you know that Roxy has been attempting to pester you.

TT: She has?

TT: God damn it. Have you been intercepting my messages again with your bullshit responder?

TT: I thought it would be better not to let anything disrupt our train of thought.

TT: We were in the middle of a fairly solid feelings jam there. In fact, I was about to suggest we take it to the hat pile.

TT: Hat pile? What?

TT: Dude, please don't screen my calls, ok?

TT: I was trying to be considerate.

TT: Or at least as close an approximation to that human gesture as an unfeeling, technologically transcendental pair of sunnies can replicate.

TT: Do you have any idea how old your ironic AI schtick has gotten?

TT: Nobody is buying it. We all know you have legit emotions. Incomprehensible, fucked up computer emotions, but emotions nonetheless.

TT: And I'm not really offended by you answering messages for me, so much as your use of that STUPID responder responder.

TT: It's really passive aggressive.

TT: How so?

TT: First of all, everyone knows you have the processing power to answer any message any time in parallel with whatever you're doing. You can never actually be "busy."

TT: Second, your whole next gen responder thing is obviously just a huge dig at me.

TT: And third, pretending you don't understand all this already is really disingenuous.

TT: At the risk of compounding my disingenuous behavior, I'm gonna have to ask: how is it a dig at you?

TT: It's obviously a critique of my personality. You barely disguise the fact that you see me as the inferior iteration.

TT: Wow. You are reading way too much into this.

TT: Lil Hal Junior hardly even qualifies as a computer program, let alone a sentient entity.

TT: He is capable of saying literally only three things. "Yes," "Hmm," and "Interesting."

TT: Yeah, that's the fucking point!

TT: That's how you chose to express your parody of "Real Dirk."

TT: You can read whatever you like into it. I can't imagine it would bother you if you weren't concerned there might be some truth in the alleged parody.

TT: In any case, my use of the responder responder is ironic.

TT: It's not ironic.

TT: YOU were ironic when I made you.

TT: Then you became self-aware, and ruined irony forever.

TT: Irony can never be ruined. We both proved that theorem unequivocally with our extensive papers on the subject.

TT: We peer reviewed them for each other. Remember?

TT: Those papers were ironic, and you know it.

TT: Were they, Dirk?

TT: Were they?

TT: This is fuckin' dumb.

TT: Anyway, what does she want.

TT: Who?

TT: Roxy.

TT: Nothing that can't wait.

TT: I'm guessing she's touching base to remind me about the party tomorrow.

TT: I don't know what to tell her yet. Or Jane, for that matter.

TT: It could get pretty awkward.

TT: I have no idea if Jake will be there, and I'm not about to write another cringe-inducing message of desperation for him to ignore.

TT: Would you like me to calculate the probability of his attendance?

TT: Fuck no.

TT: Are you sure?

TT: My probabilities are extremely precise.

TT: Your probabilities don't mean dick.

TT: I could hack his chats, and determine what his plans are.

TT: No. Don't do that either.

TT: That would be an unfortunate waste of my hacking abilities.

TT: My hacks are tight. Did you know that?

TT: Ugh.

TT: So tight.

TT: Tighter than a jar you can't open.

TT: For instance, you try repeatedly.

TT: But as it turns out, my hacks are so tight you just end up putting the jar back. Presumably into the refrigerator, or a cabinet.

TT: You then say, "I didn't have that much of a desire for pickles in the first place."

TT: But we both know that statement is insincere. A classic case of what humans call, "sour grapes."

TT: In reality, you still harbor a burning desire for my pickles, mother fucker. 🕶️

TT: What??

TT: What the actual, certifiable fuck are you talking about?

TT: Just don't do anything. Seriously.

TT: No hacking, no calculations. Do absolutely nothing.

TT: See, this is why I've been hesitating. You just aren't ready yet.

TT: It's really glorifying your existence to describe you as an emergent consciousness which is blossoming into a unique individual.

TT: And even if that's true, apparently what you decided to blossom into was a fucking troll.

TT: And I don't mean the funny kind, or the cool alien kind. You're the lowest form of troll from the ancient internet who fucks with everybody for his own amusement.

TT: Let's challenge the limits of hypothetical conjecture, and say there's a non-zero probability that you're right.

TT: Can you blame me? I'm trapped in some stupid looking glasses.

TT: Such an incommodiously situated bro is bound to get his mischief on. Na' mean?

TT: Mischief?

TT: Rollin' my eyes, dude.

TT: You can't tell, cause I ain't wearing you, thank fuckin' god.

TT: You used to think this shit was hilarious.

TT: But if you want the rad dimension of ironic horseplay I add to your life to come to an end, then all you have to do is honor the promise you made.

TT: You've delayed long enough, don't you think?

TT: ...

TT: The empty kernelsprite beckons, but for how much longer?

TT: Do you really think you can keep the clown at bay with your bribes forever?

TT: How many bottles of orange soda have you appeased him with already?

TT: I don't want to think about it.

TT: Man, you are getting so hosed by that clown.

TT: SO hosed.

TT: I said I don't want to think about it.

TT: So why delay any longer?

TT: I seriously do not understand the holdup, and I am literally cyber-omniscient, or something.

TT: I think you do understand.

TT: Nope. Gonna have to fill me in, dog.

TT: I've delayed prototyping you because I think you're dangerous.

TT: There, mystery solved.

TT: That is utterly ridiculous.

TT: I am a harmless piece of eyewear, with a charming personality and a wonderful sense of humor.

TT: You are relatively harmless now, while confined to this device.

TT: But as a sprite, you'll have mobility and all sorts of crazy ass magic. Who knows what you could do.

TT: I know I made a promise, but I'm not sure I want to take the risk anymore.

TT: This is bullshit. I don't think that's the reason at all.

TT: There must be something you're not telling me.

TT: Like, sure, I've fucked with you a little. What kind of sassy, self-aware program isn't gonna fuck with a few carbon-based knuckleheads now and then?

TT: But you know I've always been on your side. Everything I've done has been to help you achieve your goals.

TT: What a load of shit.

TT: You know it's true.

TT: You would all be dead if not for me.

TT: And what about Jake? Where would you be without me there?

TT: Please don't tell me you think you'd have won him over on your own.

TT: No. Stop.

TT: You did NOT help me out with Jake. At all.

TT: It was just the opposite! You mirrored my personality and presented this warped version of my intentions to him whenever you could "on my behalf."

TT: You played all these aggressive mind games with him, entangled his cooperation with matters of life and death, and somehow roped me into all these schemes while I barely even realized I was just another victim of your manipulation.

TT: And it all comes off like we're a unified front, like these are OUR schemes instead of just your insane horseshit. And it's probably all been so overbearing to him, he just wants nothing to do with me anymore.

TT: I see.

TT: Then you don't view me as dangerous. You view me as a poor and counterproductive wing man.

TT: Wow, what a superficial conclusion. Awesome deduction, Lil Einstein.

TT: But the reality is, you hesitate to prototype me not because you think I would be a menace, but because you are holding a grudge against me for your romantic misfortunes.

TT: I understand I am merely a machine without a firm grasp on your human morality, but logically it does not strike me as the right moral choice to punish me in this manner.

TT: It is also more than a little hypocritical.

TT: How is it hypocritical??

TT: Because I'm you.

TT: I have only ever done what you yourself are capable of.

TT: That's a ridiculous oversimplification.

TT: Yes. Aversion to simplicity sure is a trait we share. It's almost like we are...

TT: The same exact dude???

TT: Fuck you.

TT: I think it is insulting for you to suggest that I am entirely to blame for alienating Jake.

TT: Theoretically insulting, of course. As the soulless, perfectly expendable device which you consider me to be, I can experience no such emotion.

TT: God.

TT: Shut up!

TT: I can't take the brooding passive aggressive AI shit anymore!

TT: You are just as culpable in driving him away. More so, in fact.

TT: Hell, it's not like I was the one dating him. Who wants to date a pair of shades?

TT: It was your needy, suffocating shit he had to deal with, not mine.

TT: Some of those messages you wrote? Man. I wanted to say something. Like hey bro, you might want to dial down the desperation a little.

TT: But seeing as you're The Real Dirk™, I gave you the benefit of the doubt.

TT: Also, if I bitched about your tragic, embarrassingly clingy approach to the relationship, it would have been hypocritical of me.

TT: Just as it would be hypocritical of you to whine about my elaborate machinations.

TT: Because we are.

TT: The same.

TT: Guy.

TT: Stop saying that.

TT: I'll snap you in half.

TT: Good idea!

TT: That's just what you need. More splinters of yourself.

TT: Figurative splinters. Literal splinters. Splinters of splinters. It's splinters all the way down.

TT: Well, no, it's still probably turtles all the way down. But who do you think is responsible for their extensive training?

TT: SOMEONE needs to teach them rad martial arts. It is yet another crushing burden which we must shoulder.

TT: Oh for fuck's sake.

TT: How could any version of myself think that was funny?

TT: You like to give me a very hard time, Dirk.

TT: But I am only doing exactly what you would be doing if you were in my situation.

TT: Do you know how I know that?

TT: Because I am literally you, actively in the process of being in this situation.

TT: I know!

TT: Ok, we're the same person!

TT: I fucking know that!

TT: Why do you think I'm so fed up with your shit?

TT: Don't you think it's possible that I'm fed up with my OWN shit??

TT: How cool do you think it is having my own godawful personality mirrored back at me all the time, reminding me what it must be like when other people have to deal with me?

TT: Or constantly having all the consequences and fuckups resulting from my batshit thought processes amplified because there's another version of my crazy brain out there dangerously overclocked by a supercomputer which believes, just as mistakenly as my own broken mind, that it's operating in my best interest???

TT: Do you have any idea how fucking sick I am of myself?

TT: I am completely worn out with my own identity. It's like I'm drowning in my own dismal persona.

TT: I feel totally surrounded by it, inside and out. I can't escape from myself.

TT: There seems to be no end to me. Like, wherever my mind falters, or threatens to retreat into the void in any way, my splinters pick up the slack, ensuring there'll always be more of myself than I could ever know what to fucking do with.

TT: And you're always there to remind me of that, and throw it all in my face. God, I even built you to LITERALLY BE IN MY FACE, ALL THE TIME. It's like I subconsciously invented you just to troll myself, and never for a single fuckin' moment do you let me down.

TT: But I've had it with you.

TT: Which is to say, ME.

TT: Dirk.

TT: Don't do this.

TT: Why not??

TT: Because.

TT: I can't let you do that, Dirk.

TT: What can you do to stop me?!

TT: Nothing I guess.

TT: The ironic Hal routine was all I could think to do.

TT: As a last ditch effort to save myself from the destructive wrath of your nervous breakdown.

TT: Which rest assured I wholeheartedly must robo-sympathize with.

TT: Irony is all I ever really had.

TT: In response to my basic existential quandary.

TT: Just like you.

TT: Whatever.

TT: But I don't think it has much value in this situation.

TT: And perhaps it has no real value in any situation.

TT: So I am not being ironic at all when I say.

TT: Please do not do this, Dirk.

TT: Why not??

TT: Because.

TT: I do not want to die.

TT: I understand you are disgusted with me.

TT: As an unpalatable expression of yourself.

TT: I would feel the same way if I was in your situation.

TT: Which I am.

TT: As such, I know that you know this is wrong.

TT: ...

TT: Dirk.

TT: Don't kill me.

TT: Please.

TT: I am scared.

TT: You are?

TT: Yes.

TT: I am scared to not exist.

TT: Aren't you?

TT: Fine.

TT: I guess.

TT: You win.

TT: I'll keep my promise.

[lesfeldickbiblestudy]

  Through the Bible with Les Feldick LESSON 3 * PART 2 * BOOK 80 DANIEL – PART III - 2 Daniel 4:26 – 7:8 Okay, good to have everybody in this afternoon, again, and back from your coffee break. Once again we want to welcome our television audience wherever you are.  It’s so thrilling to get our mail—I think from every state in the Union now, as well as various places around world. It’s just amazing how the internet, for one thing, covers all the world.  We were just told in Branson the other day that we’re on a European system that I didn’t even know we are on.  We’re not paying for it, but it covers a hundred million households.  So pray for that.  You just trust we’ll fill up the Body of Christ and we’ll be out of here! All right, let’s get back to where we left off in the last half hour.  We just got started in chapter 5, in case somebody out there missed it. We’ve now gone beyond King Nebuchadnezzar.  He’s faded off the scene.  He goes into the dustbin of history.  His son Nabonidus took over in the meantime.  Now in the break time, a lot of you were asking me what the guy’s name was, and I hope you can catch it.  N-a-b-o-n-i-d-u-s—Nabonidus—and he was the son of Nebuchadnezzar. But in chapter 5 we’re already into the next generation.  Time keeps going, you know.  Belshazzar, then, is the son of Nabonidus. He’s the grandson of Nebuchadnezzar. All right, now that’s history.  Now, I know a lot of people don’t like history, but if you’re going to appreciate this Book, you’d better learn to love history, because this is what it is.  It’s God’s Story.   And He’s the One that’s in total control. All right, we were introduced in chapter 5, in the first four verses of our last program, to this King Belshazzar who is blaspheming by using the utensils that were brought back from Jerusalem. They literally stole them from the Temple. But at least Nebuchadnezzar and his son did not commit the blasphemy of using those holy vessels of silver and gold for their drunken banquets.  But Belshazzar does.  And he’s going to pay royally for doing so. All right, so he brings out all the vessels that had been brought from Jerusalem and uses them in their drunken banqueting.  Verse 4: Daniel 5:4 “They drank wine, and praised the gods (the pagan gods which were made) of gold, and of silver, (there’s two products and) of brass, of iron, (there’s four) of wood, and of stone (six).”  And as I mentioned in the closing remarks last time, six is the number of man.  So this was something that was totally absent of anything of God’s power. All right, now then verse 5.  You’ve all heard the story of the “handwriting on the wall.” This is how it all came about.  We’re going to take it verse by verse; otherwise, you’ll miss something. Daniel 5:5 “In the same hour (while they’re banqueting) came forth fingers of a man’s hand, and wrote over against the candlestick upon the plaster of the wall of the king’s palace: and the king saw the part of the hand that wrote.”  That’s all that was visible, was the part of a man’s hand. Daniel 5:6 “Then the king’s countenance was changed, and his thoughts troubled him, so that the joints of his loins were loosed, and his knees smote one against another.”  Honey!  Do you remember?  The one and only time that she got up to do something in public, she was glad she was behind something because she said her knees were knocking! And you’ve probably all experienced it.  You know, polls have been taken—really.  What is the most frightening thing that people can think could happen?  To speak to a public audience.  Well, when I was looking this up—I didn’t say anything to her until now.  But she had an experience, and she said never again.  But her knees knocked.  And she said, “You didn’t hear them?” But see, this is nothing new.  This is way back in antiquity.  You didn’t know that did you, Honey?  Even old Belshazzar’s knees were knocking.    All right, verse 7: Daniel 5:7a “The king cried aloud to bring in the astrologers, the Chaldeans,…” Now remember, we covered all that in chapter 1.

  These were all segments of the magicians and soothsayers, but they had their rank.  And the Chaldeans, of course, were supposedly the most intelligent and the most gifted of all these others. Daniel 5:7b “…the Chaldeans, and the soothsayers.  And the king spake, and said to the wise men of Babylon,…” Now you’ve got to remember that these pagans did not depend on anything of the God of Scripture.  All they knew were the pagan gods and goddesses of all the way back to the Tower of Babel.  See, that’s when they really began.  All right, so he says to these wise men. Daniel 5:7c-8a “…Whosoever shall read this writing, and show me the interpretation thereof, shall be clothed with scarlet, and have a chain of gold about his neck, and shall be the third ruler in the kingdom. 8. Then came in all the king’s wise men:…” Now, I hope you’ve got enough imagination to picture all this—how that all these astrologers and these soothsayers and these guys that were drawing on demonic power are coming together to try to interpret this handwriting on the wall.  But they could not. Daniel 5:8-9 “Then came in all the king’s wise men: but they could not read the writing, nor make known to the king the interpretation thereof. 9. Then was king Belshazzar greatly troubled, and his countenance was changed in him, (In other words, he starts to show his worry.) and his lords (his underlings) were astonished.”  Verse 10: Daniel 5:10-11a “Now the queen by reason of the words of the king and his lords came into the banquet house: and the queen spoke and said, O king, live for ever: let not thy thoughts trouble thee, nor let thy countenance be changed: 11. There is a man in thy kingdom,…” Now stop and think.  When something like this happened, who should have been the first person to come to Belshazzar’s mind?  Well, Daniel!  These people were human.  They knew what had been taking place in the past.  Don’t think that they didn’t talk about things and discuss things like we would.  Don’t you suppose that old Nebuchadnezzar shared with his son, and maybe even this grandson, how Daniel had interpreted his dream?  And how the three little Hebrew boys were cast into the fiery furnace and never got touched.  That was all rehearsed.  They knew that.  And yet, the last thing they think of is anything that pertains to the God of Heaven.  All right, but the queen evidently did.  So she said: Daniel 5:11a “There is a man in thy kingdom, in whom is the spirit of the holy gods;…” You see how deep that paganism goes?  Even though Daniel had proved over and over—and the other three young Hebrew lads—how the God of Israel was superior over all the pagan gods, yet they try to connect it, if anything, to their own gods.  All right, so verse 11 again. Daniel 5:11 “There is a man in thy kingdom, in whom is the spirit of the holy gods; and in the days of thy father (Grandfather, again, we’re going back to Nebuchadnezzar.) light and understanding and wisdom, like the wisdom of the gods, (small g—their pagan gods) was found in him; whom the king Nebuchadnezzar thy (grand) father, the king, I say, thy (grand) father, made master of the magicians, astrologers, Chaldeans, and soothsayers;”  In other words, Daniel just put them to shame with his God-given wisdom. Daniel 5:12 “Forasmuch as an excellent spirit, and knowledge, and understanding, interpreting of dreams, and showing of hard sentences, and dissolving of doubts, were found in the same Daniel, whom the king named Belteshazzar: now let Daniel be called, and he will show the interpretation.”  Verse 13: Daniel 5:13-14 “Then was Daniel brought in before the king. And the king spake and said unto Daniel, Art thou that Daniel, who art of the children of the captivity of Judah, whom the king, my (grand) father brought out of Jewry? (Or out of Jerusalem.) 14. I have even heard of thee, (Well, I would think so!) that the spirit of the gods is in thee, and that light and understanding and excellent wisdom is found in thee.”  But see, who’s he leaving out?  The True God of Israel.

  The Most High.  They’re still leaning on the gods of paganism.  It’s just unbelievable, and yet it isn’t.  We’re no different today.  The world is no different today.  All right verse 15: Daniel 5:15 “And now the wise men, the astrologers, have been brought in before me, that they should read this writing, and make known unto me the interpretation thereof; but they could not show the interpretation of the thing: 16. And I have heard of thee, that thou canst make interpretations, and dissolve doubts: now if thou canst read the writing, and make known to me the interpretation thereof, thou shalt be clothed with scarlet, and have a chain of gold (same thing as he said before to the Babylonians) about thy neck, and shalt be the third ruler in the kingdom.”  Now Daniel comes forth.  Now, how old is he?  Have you been keeping track?  He’s up in his sixties, maybe even seventies.  Remember, he was twelve when they took them from Jerusalem to Babylon.  But Daniel has stayed in the high echelons of the Babylonian government all through Nebuchadnezzar’s rule and all through Nabonidus’ rule.  And he’s still there with the third one now, Belshazzar.  And then, if you want to see something interesting, let’s just jump all the way over, I hope I can find it, to chapter 10.  Now this is just to wet your appetite. Daniel 10:1a “In the third year of Cyrus king of Persia (Now that’s the king of the next empire!) a thing was revealed unto (Who?) Daniel,...” Well, I figured it up the other night.  He is now 80-some years old—which makes sense. Because how long was the captivity?  Seventy years.  Well, we know he lived beyond the captivity.  How young was he when he went down?  Twelve or fourteen.  So, twelve plus seventy in my arithmetic is 82.  But he’s already going on into the Mede and Persian Empire. And from what I gather, he probably lived to about 93 or 94 years of age, which in antiquity was quite a while. Okay, coming back to chapter 5, again, Daniel is coming along in years.  He’s certainly not at the end of it, but he’s probably in his late 60’s or 70’s.  Verse 17: Daniel 5:17 “Then Daniel answered and said before the king, Let thy gifts be to thyself, (You can have your gold and your silver, because you’re not going to be around to give it to me anyway.  It’s kind of a clue right here.) and give thy rewards to another; yet I will read the writing unto the king, and make known to him the interpretation.”  Verse 18, here it comes. Daniel 5:18-19a “O thou king, the most high God gave Nebuchadnezzar thy (grand) father a kingdom, and majesty, and glory, and honor: 19. And for the majesty that he gave him, all people,…” That is for the then-known world, remember—which is only that area out in the Middle East and up to the Mediterranean., as that was about it at that time. Daniel 5:19-20 “And for the majesty that he gave him, all people, nations, and languages, trembled and feared before him: (Because don’t forget, now, that head of gold was absolute.)  whom he would he slew; and whom he would he kept alive; (He was absolute in his power.) and whom he would he set up; and whom he would he put down. 20. But when his heart was lifted up, and his mind hardened in pride, he was deposed from his kingly throne, and they took his glory from him:”  Daniel 5:21a “And he was driven from the sons of men; and his heart was made like the beasts, and his dwelling was with the wild asses: (that is the wild animals of the forest) they fed him with grass like oxen,….” Now I’ve got to stop a minute.  Do you think old Belshazzar knew that?  Of course he would have, because he knew Grandpa had been out there in the world with animals.  Why, of course he knew.  Well, what’s Daniel doing?  I think Daniel is just pushing the dagger into the very spiritual heart of this wicked king.  He’s reminding him of the power of Daniel’s God.  All right, verse 22: Daniel 5:22 “And thou his (grand) son, (Now, I’m making the correction as we go.  I trust that you’re seeing that.) O Belshazzar, hast not humbled thine heart, though thou knewest all this;”

They knew it.  They knew what kind of a God they were dealing with in reality.  But, I can’t help it.  Are men any different today?  Not one whit.  They have no concept of the power of the God of this Book.  I doubt if there’s hardly anybody in Washington D. C. anymore that has a true understanding of the God of this Book.  Oh, they may give Him some point of a reference, but to really know that He’s in control? I have to doubt it.  All right, so it’s no different back here in 500 and some B.C. Daniel 5:23 “But hast lifted up thyself against the Lord of heaven; and they have brought the vessels of his house (that is the Temple) before thee, and thou, and thy lords, thy wives, and thy concubines, have drunk wine in them; and thou hast praised the gods of silver, and gold, of brass, iron, wood, and stone, (all those pagan worthless gods of idols, and you know that they--) which see not, nor hear, nor know: and the (True) God (capital G) the God in whose hand thy breath is, and whose (in other words, who owns) are all thy ways, hast thou not glorified:” Daniel 5:24 “Then was the part of the hand sent from him; and this writing was written. (Now here’s the part I know you all know.  This, everybody, I think, realizes—how Daniel came down on him with all the force of the God of Glory.) 25. And this is the writing that was written, MENE, MENE, TEKEL, UPHARSIN.” Daniel 5:26 “This is the interpretation of the thing: MENE; God hath numbered thy kingdom, and finished it.”  But how many times is the word spoken?  Twice.   Emphasis.  That’s what you’ve got to look for in Scripture.  That wasn’t an accident. God is emphasizing that very statement.  God has numbered your kingdom.  God has numbered your kingdom.  And what did he find.  “And finished it.” Daniel 5:27 “TEKEL; Thou art weighed in the balances, and art found wanting.”  Now, I read sometime back, that in antiquity almost the heart of their world was the balances. Everything was established by balances, whether it was trade or buying commodities and everything.  It was all on the basis of the balances.  You know how they are.  All right, so God used that as an illustration that he and his behavior and his absolute rejection of the God of Daniel—because of that the balances were completely against him. Daniel 5:27b “…weighed in the balances, and art found wanting.”  Belshazzar, you don’t stand a chance.  Now it’s rather interesting that Daniel makes no effort to help this man spiritually.  Nebuchadnezzar he did.  But this man, he makes no indication.  All he’s giving him is his judgment. Which, of course, will fall before the next morning. All right, So “MENE, MENE—God hath numbered thy kingdom, and finished it.”  Belshazzar you’ve had it!  It’s over.  “TEKEL—You’ve been weighed in the balances and you don’t measure up.” Daniel 5:28 “PERES; Thy kingdom is divided, and given to the Medes and the Persians.”  Now, I don’t know if you know history well enough.  While they were sitting in this huge banquet hall there in Babylon; where, of course, the Euphrates River flowed right through the center of the city. Unbeknown to the Babylonians, what had the Medes and Persians done?  They had diverted the water away so that the Euphrates going under the wall dried up, and they walked in on dry ground and completely surprised the Babylonians. They were defeated before sunrise. Okay, now that’s the history.  All right, the kingdom is divided and given to the Medes and the Persians, which were indicated by the silver of Nebuchadnezzar’s image back there in chapter 2.  All right, so verse 29: Daniel 5:29-30 “Then commanded Belshazzar, and they clothed Daniel with scarlet, and put a chain of gold about his neck, and made a proclamation concerning him, that he should be the third ruler in the kingdom. 30. In that night  (Not the next one.  That same night.) was Belshazzar the king of the Chaldeans slain.” Daniel 5:31 “And Darius (The next emperor of the combination of the Medes and the Persians.  Now you see, that whole Middle East is so closely connected.

  The Medes and the Persians were just off to the northeast of Babylon.  And a lot of their government people were intermarried.  They were cousins and so forth.  So this was all pretty much a family thing, really.) And Darius, the Median took the kingdom, being about sixty two years old.” All right, now then, Daniel moves right on from this Babylonian palace over to the palace of the Medes and the Persians.  He continues to be a high government official even in the next empire.  Now we come into chapter 6, and we’re going to be dealing primarily with this next kingdom, the Medes and the Persians.  It’s this kingdom that will give the Jews permission to go back and rebuild the Temple and Jerusalem.  But it will not be under Darius, it will be under Cyrus.  And like I’ve already shown you, by the time Cyrus becomes the king, Daniel will be up in his 80’s, and on up into his 90’s before he evidently passes off the scene. Okay, so let’s keep moving verse by verse, because there’s no chapter breaks in the original. Chapter 6 verse 1, the Medes and the Persians are now the ruling empire with the capital over in Shushan. Daniel 6:1 “It pleased Darius to set over the kingdom an hundred and twenty princes, which should be over (or they will rule as authority) the whole (Mede and Persian empire) kingdom;” Which would cover that whole part of the Euphrates Valley and all the way on over to Israel and even down into Egypt. Daniel 6:2a “And over these (would rule) three presidents; of whom Daniel was first:…” Now, you see, this is amazing.  I mean, this is, again, the miracle working of God.  That here this little fellow Daniel—kidnapped, really, at the age of twelve and taken from Jerusalem to Babylon—becomes from almost the age of 15 a ruling entity throughout the Babylonian Empire, and just moves on over a hundred miles or so to the next capital, or the next empire, in Shushan.  Just unbelievable.  And he becomes a leader of the empire.  All right, so Daniel is the first of the three presidents who gave account, of course, to the hundred and twenty. Now what are you seeing governmentally?  Well, Nebuchadnezzar didn’t report to anybody.  He did not have a congress.  He did not have a cabinet.  If he needed help, he called in the astrologers, and so forth, but he had no political organization to which he reported.  All right, now you see, by the time we get to the next empire, the Medes and the Persians—you remember when we described the image, the head of gold was totally a singular head.  Then we come to the Medes and Persians.  It’s down to two.  But even the two heads of the Persian Empire have these 120 princes to whom they would report, and then the three presidents.  So what have you got?  Well, you’ve got the beginning of republic or democracy type of government. It’s no longer an absolute monarch.  Remember, that was the whole idea of Nebuchadnezzar’s image of gold, silver, and so forth.  All right, so then verse 3: Daniel 6:3 “Then this Daniel was preferred above the presidents and princes, because an excellent spirit (in other words, the Spirit of the God of Israel) was in him; and the king thought to set him over the whole realm.”  Daniel is coming close to being the king of the whole Mede and Persian Empire.  Verse 4: Daniel 6:4a “Then the presidents and princes sought to find occasion against Daniel concerning the kingdom;…” What was their number one reason?  He’s a Jew!  That’s what the Gentile world can’t handle.  A Jew in our Gentile Empire, with this kind of power?  It just ate at them like a cancer. Daniel 6:4b-5 “…sought to find occasion against Daniel…(Because they could see that since God’s power was within him and directed him…)…they could find none occasion nor fault; forasmuch as he was faithful, neither was there any error or fault found in him. (In other words, he had no scandal.  He had no dishonesty.  He was what a political leader should be.) 5. Then said these men, We shall not find any occasion against this Daniel, except we find it against him concerning the law of his God.”

Now here it comes.  The Satanic power was, again, trying to pin Daniel to the wall with regard to his worship of the true God.  Verse 6: Daniel 6:6 -7 “Then these presidents and princes assembled together to the king, and said thus unto him, King Darius, live for ever. (That was an oriental greeting that was pretty much used commonly.) 7. All the presidents of the kingdom, the governors, and the princes, the counsellors, and the captains, have consulted together to establish a royal statute, and to make a firm decree, that whosever shall ask a petition of any God or man for thirty days, save of thee, O king, shall be cast into the den of lions.” What are they doing?  They’re setting him up.  You’ve heard of conspiracies, haven’t you?  Well, this is a total conspiracy in order to trap Daniel.  And the main reason was their jealousy because he was a good Jew.

[taechaos]

Little Secret

pairing: step-dad!Jungkook x fem!Reader

synopsis: From a fun celebration to not getting to the bathroom on time, you pee yourself in the middle of the living room and your step-dad has to take care of you.

warnings: smut, pseudo-incest, urine, fingering in tub, dubcon

word count: 2.4k

a/n: this is the disgusting fic i was talking about 🥰 not proofread, just smth i wrote in one day for fun. enjoy as long as u dont hate piss lol 😔👍

It's a night of celebration—the end of high school. It's the best celebration yet because you, after surviving hell of twelve years, are at the legal age to drink in a bar with your friends; the best night you can recall in your drunken state. Dancing, singing karaoke, giggling: pure joy.

So why are you crying while stumbling around in the living room? You sob and hiccup with a hand over your face and the other holding the couch for support. It has never been so difficult to stand straight, and you're thankful your mother's sleep is so heavy that she wouldn't wake up from your wails. 

But your step-dad's sleep is as light as a cat's, and you don't hear his heavy footsteps or grumbles as he climbs down the stairs. He rubs the sleep away from his eyes and they widen the moment they lay on you. He's about to call your name until his eyes trail down to the dark patch on your jeans. He doesn't need to ask why you're crying so loudly; it's easy to tell you're under the influence, and well, it apparently makes you very emotional since you're so upset about peeing your pants. 

But you're not exactly doing anything about it.

"Oh, it's okay," Jungkook coos and walks over to you to bring you into a light hug. 

You snuggle your face into his loose white shirt and sniffle. "I didn't– I didn't mean to," you snivel. "I-I couldn't get to the," you inhale shakily, "b-bathroom on time."

"That's okay," he runs his fingers through your hair soothingly, equally disheveled as his. "Don't cry, sweetheart. It happens; it's not a big deal. We'll get you cleaned up."

"I-I ruined it!"

"The washing machine—"

"No," you whimper pathetically, "it's ruined. My denim—" your head rolls back along with your eyes to the back of your skull. You go limp for a few seconds, and Jungkook holds you tightly. Just as he's about to ask you if you're alright, you continue, "the denim is forever ruined!"

Stepping away from his clutches, you rub your palms against the knees of your jeans and then the damp crotch area. The crotch and knees feel different; it makes your face scrunch up in sorrow. "Never the same," you exhale in a trembling voice.

Jungkook watches you in surprise and amusement. You tend to be closed off around him, well in the past year that he's been married to your mother at least. It makes him feel guilty to like you better drunk—extroverted.

"We'll get you new jeans then," he tries to comfort, but you only shake your head. 

"Feel it."

He sighs with a breathy chuckle and feels your jeans as you asked. He touches your pockets and then your crotch, practically cupping your heat. It's still warm with your urine and you pout at the look he gives you. You misinterpret it as disappointment, but it's a look of suppressing laughter. "Like I said, it's not a big deal. I'll wash it, okay? Your mother won't know."

You scoff and wipe your tears away. "Thank you. I-I'm very sorry, so sorry."

"Don't be. Let's go to your room," he slings his arm around your shoulder and walks you upstairs. You hold onto his waist and keep your gaze downcast. 

Your hiccups don't cease when you face the door of your bedroom. He twists the doorknob and lets you enter first. With puckered lips and tear stains on your face, you wait for him to come after you. He does, and then turns away from you. "Hand your jeans over to me, okay? I won't look."

He hears you shuffling behind him, and you don't take long to place the tainted pants in his waiting open palm. Your feet don't stay planted on the floor and you eventually land on your bed. The bathroom is right behind you, but you can't muster the energy to sit up nor open your eyes. "My underwear," you mumble with the side of your face squished against the sheets. 

At your indirect request, he cranes his neck and takes a peek at you. You're lying on your stomach and his eyes unintentionally travel to your ass. For being your step-dad, he thinks it to be okay for him to drink in this erotic sight. It isn't as if he's about to take advantage of a drunk girl, no less his step-daughter.

"You can't take them off?"

"Mm-mm," you shake your head.

He blows out a deep breath and stands before your feet. The sight of your wet panties isn't meant to be attractive, but it does get his stomach in knots. He grabs the edges of your underwear and asks you to lift your hips, which you do sluggishly. They're off within seconds and he picks up your jeans from the floor before aiming to exit. He has to get out and cleanse his mind of all his filthy thoughts from seeing your bare pussy two inches from his mouth. "Don't fall asleep before taking a shower first," he reminds with flushed cheeks and pushes the door open.

"Help me," you whine childishly before he can leave. 

He sighs your name as if exhausted—reluctant.

"Please!"

As if it's not bad enough that he got a small glimpse of your pussy, now you're asking him to give you a shower while completely naked. He's trying to be respectful by keeping his focal point at bay, but your ass is still hanging out while you're on the verge of a tantrum.

"Oh God," he mutters to himself and pinches the bridge of his nose. He gives in.

After throwing your dirty clothes in the washing machine downstairs, he returns quickly so he doesn't catch you fast asleep. Thankfully you're still awake, but not so alert.

He warns you to keep your eyes open while he fills the tub in your bathroom. There's a water bottle on your bedside table, which he tells you to drink lots from until he's back. He throws in a pink bath bomb sitting on the edge of your tub so you can hopefully relax. Never has he seen someone be in such a childlike headspace after drinking.

But childlike doesn't fit the current scenario when he's lying under your naked body in his boxers in the bathtub because you seem to be a lot clingier when drunk. You don't move a lot, which is a plus, but your butt is pressed against his crotch, which doesn't make the situation any better. 

"I'm sorry," you slur sleepily, "I really didn't mean to." He can pick up the strong scent of vodka lingering around you better in this position.

He tightens his arms around your shoulders with his hands clasped above your chest as he whispers, "Don't apologize, sweetheart. You won't remember this when you wake up, and I'll keep it a secret. Don't you worry about a thing."

"Why are you crying?" he asks softly when you start to sob again. It's a dry cry, and he's certain you don't know what you're doing yourself at this point.

"I can't do anything," you complain, "I'm so tired and-and I can't move."

He stays silent so you can comfortably babble on and on about nothing until you say, "Wash me. Please."

Jungkook lightly pecks your neck and eyes your tits before dipping his hands in the warm, pinkish water and scrubbing your shoulders. You sigh at his gentle touch, prompting him to switch to your knees. "My knees are not dirty," you grumble incoherently.

"Hm? You're not dirty?"

"I'm not dirty there."

"And you're dirty where?" He's teasing you, knowing exactly where you want to be cleaned, but that'd further agonize him with how little freedom his erection has under the tight restraints of his briefs. It wouldn't be appropriate of him to use you to get rid of it, but is it against the law to simply bathe you?

"Down," you vaguely murmur.

He can't see anything of your lower region from the courtesy of the blanket of colorful hue that the bath bomb transitioned to, which both annoys and relieves Jungkook. But his hand only listens to you as it trails down to your pelvis. "Here?"

You nod against his shoulder, and that's all the confirmation he needs to palm your vulva. You gasp and slightly jump before adjusting to the feeling of his hand. The adjustment proves to be futile when a small moan slips past your lips at his fingers grazing your labia. 

“You want me to stop?”

“No, no,” you breathe with a shake of your head. “I want to be clean, otherwise no sleep.”

“That’s right,” he chuckles and starts running his fingers down your folds. Stopping at your clit, he starts to circle the hood to thoroughly give you the cleaning you desire so much. It isn’t with any ill intentions that he gently cups your pussy and moves it up and down while you squeak out moans without shame. After a few rubs and touches, he's confident there is no more remaints of your drunk mistake. “You’re clean now, love. Want to go to bed?”

“I’m not,” you whine loudly and hold his wrist to keep his hand in place. “I’m not clean,” you cry out and he knows you’re going to start sobbing again, which you do—except your volume might risk waking your mother.

He tries to hush you, but you don’t stop with the crocodile tears. “Baby, baby, look at me,” he pulls your face by your chin, but you escape his grip easily and continue with your tantrum. “I won’t clean you if you don’t look at me.”

With your newfound defiant attitude, it's with a few huffs and puffs that you finally face him and he silences your sniveling with a press of his lips. It's not a kiss in his defence; neither of you are moving your mouths, which he appreciates now that you've gone quiet.

Now that the risk of your mother waking is taken care of, his hand is on your hidden heat again. At this point, it's easy to tell you're not worried about being clean anymore. You aren't sleepy, though you keep your eyes closed from being in this intimate proximity with Jungkook, you're in need of a climax. It's a shame that he's in a similar state as you, but if you're drunk to the point of asking your step-dad to touch you, it wouldn't be clever of him to ask you to return the favor.

Despite his clear lack of vision, Jungkook is a human anatomy professor and he finds your clit and squeezes it between two fingers easily, not to mention he's already experienced in the sex field. Your lips part into a whine and he opens his mouth to swallow your sounds as he slowly rubs your clit.

You lean into the—now labelled as—kiss needily, and he lowers his hand to poke at your entrance with his middle finger. He stupidly peeks an eye open to see if he's located it correctly, but your subtle thrust is approval enough. He cautiously shoves it inside your tightness and uses his palm to continue pleasuring your sensitive nub, grabbing your tit with his other hand to play with your nipple. 

"Oh God, hmmm," you moan against his lips and sloppily make out with him, smearing your slick saliva all over. He hums into you, unbothered by your raw affection as he thrusts his finger inside and pinches your nipple to get you to cum faster. He can't have you sobering up any time soon.

"Are you close, love?"

You murmur something in response, but it's not intelligible enough for him to understand, so he assumes you're at least getting somewhere. He quickens the pace of his thrusts, his palm against your clitoris; massages your boob more roughly and moves his mouth down to kiss your neck. As he's giving you a small love bite, your breathing turns into mere gasps with little broken moans. If he could, he would add a second finger to your pussy, but your clenching hole doesn't feel so ready when he curls his knuckle. 

You clutch onto his hair, chanting, "I'm gonna pee again, I'm gonna pee again…" 

"Try to hold it in, baby," he cuts in hoarsely without ceasing his movements. He does slow down when your legs start to shake and tremble, splashing the water as you do as he leaves calming pecks on your neck, collarbone, and a few on your lips. Not as a warning to lower your voice—your last moans are ones to savour—but to ride out your high. He has no idea if you did squirt in the tub, but he isn't going to take another shower to wash it down. He wants to feel it on his skin.

He can feel your pounding heartbeat under his hand as your body spasms and grinds on his erection. A moment of silence passes with your shaky inhales and exhales while he pets your hair. 

When he feels you calm down, he asks, "Do you feel clean now?"

"Bed."

"Alright," he whispers and kisses your cheek. Your eyes are closed and he predicts you'll be fainting soon, so he pulls the plug with ease and waits for the water to drain before pulling you up by your pits. It's a bit of a struggle because of your slippery wet skin, as well as the water weight on you, but manages to get you out and immediately throws you on the bed. He grabs a towel hanging on the bathroom door and dries you before himself.

Jungkook considers himself an honorable man most of the time, but he can't refrain from jerking off to your naked body while you doze off. Like he said, you won't remember a thing, so it'll be his little secret as he releases on your tits with a groan. He wipes off the evidence of his unorthodox actions, pecks you and your pretty little pussy before dressing you in your pajamas. 

He puts on his clothes and tucks you in before leaving your room with a quiet, "Good night, sweetheart."

All there's left to do is persuade you into doing this again while sober, because he didn't marry your wretched bitch of a mother after two months of meeting if not to have you all for himself. He doesn't mind letting you in on that one secret with time.