#or work with each other to opposite ends?

[moonchild9350]

Firsts

Summary: Hyunjin reminisces on all of your 'firsts' together as a couple.

Pairing: nonidol!Hyunjin x fab!reader

Genre: established relationship au, fluff, smut-18+MDNI

Word Count: 3.4k

Warnings: time jumps, kissing, hand job, nipple play, clit play, unprotected sex (don’t), mention of birth control, creampie, Hyunjin is in love lol

Notes: just wanted to write another fic from Hyunjin's pov! this was supposed to be short but here we are lol

If you enjoyed please consider a comment, reblog, or like as it keeps me motivated ♡

Please do not copy, translate, modify, use, or repost this work elsewhere without my permission. ©moonchild9350 (2024)

Firsts are scary. At least that is what Hyunjin thought wholeheartedly, that is until he met you. You with your cheery demeanor, your kind heart and lust for life. He loves your beauty, your body, your everything, but he also loves who you are on the inside.

Over the last year you’ve both shared many firsts with each other, each time they occur giving him butterflies deep within as if it’s the first time you’ve met.

— —

Hyunjin was nervous for your first date, the jitters getting the best of him as he checked his hair in the mirror for the millionth time. His heart was pounding within his chest, so hard he thought it was going to burst.

He picked out flowers for you earlier in the day, unsure of what you’d like. Maybe the roses? But also what about the carnations? He spent so long staring at the two options that the clerk came by to make sure he was okay asking if he needed any help.

In the end he chose the roses, sticking to a safe choice. He carefully cared for them home, making sure not to crush the delicate petals, their floral scent traveling to his nose causing him to smile. He kept them in water until it was time to pick you up, the stems dripping all over the floor and ultimately his pants staining them.

Hyunjin felt embarrassed at the stain, convinced you would slam the door in his face, tsking that he was a mess. However, you did the exact opposite, your squeal of delight reaching his ears, which turned a bright red in response. You whisked the flowers from his hands, setting them in a vase of water before following him outside.

He took you to dinner, at a cute little restaurant in town that you had been gushing about. He found it easy to chat with you, the conversation flowing nonstop. He made sure to listen to all of your likes and dislikes, wanting to learn more about you which was easy to do since it was you.

You both enjoyed your meal, staying for the cheesecake and that extra glass of wine, your hearts wildly beating at the prospect of other dates to come.

But all good things must come to an end, the night wrapping up way too soon. Hyunjin walked you back to your apartment in the warm night air, the city slowing down as people hurried home. He’d hope to see you again as he wanted to shower you with affection and treat you the way you deserve.

Hyunjin looked forward to more firsts with you, the concept not as scary as it seemed before

Not long after your first date, he took you to movie , as you had a love for films just like him. It was an older film, repurposed for the modern theater, one you both enjoyed and discussed many times over a late night chat.

The theater in town was old, the building itself a time capsule of when it was built in the early beginnings of the sleepy town.

You both sat in the red chairs, looking at each other as you blushed and giggled, each of you a nervous wreck. Hyunjin didn’t know what to do, not wanting to make you feel uncomfortable, so he quickly looked away and focused on the screen, watching the ads that were playing.

Soon, the lights dimmed and the film began. He couldn’t stop looking at you from the corner of his eye, trying to catch a glimpse of you as you focused straight ahead. His heart was beating, his thigh bouncing up and down as he tried to pay attention to the film.

If he thought he was nervous then nothing could have prepared him for how nervous he would be watching you creep your hand to rest on the armrest separating you two.

Your hand rested there delicately, your perfectly manicured nails on display. His palms were clammy, as beads of sweat prickled at his forehead. He tried to subtly wipe his hands off on his pants, hoping you wouldn’t see.

Suddenly, you looked his way, his head turning to meet your eyes. You gave him a smile, butterflies fluttering in his chest at your beauty. He looked at your hand, now facing palm up and back to your eyes. You gave him another reassuring smile before wiggling your fingers teasingly.

Before he could overthink his actions, he quickly reached for your hand, his fingers brushing yours before resting his palm on top of yours. You giggled quietly before lacing your fingers with his, giving his hand a squeeze once settled.

Hyunjin was over the moon, a smile gracing his face as he turned to face the screen again. There was incessant pounding of his heart in his chest, as he held your hand in his, not believing that this was happening.

He found he couldn’t focus on the film, his thoughts on how your tiny hand fit in his perfectly, almost like two puzzle pieces finding their home together. He thought of how he could feel your pulse, the thump thump radiating off his skin. If he could feel your heart beat, could you feel his and how it ached for you?

His mind was a flurry of thoughts as he barely paid attention to the film, not even noticing it was over until the very end when you sweetly said his name, the sound sweet like honey to his ears.

He blushed, feeling embarrassed at his mishap.

“Ready then?” He asked you, squeezing your hand in his.

“Mmhmm I am,” you said, your eyes locked on him.

Hyunjin chatted with you about the film as you both walked down the sidewalk, your chatter warming his heart, creating a warm, fuzzy feeling inside. The street lamps set a yellow glow, illuminating the way as you passed others on their way to a destination only they know.

Stopping at a street corner, he takes a deep breath, his eyes gazing at you through his periphery. You stand there with your hands at your side, your gaze straight ahead.

Hyunjin desperately wants to touch you, feel your warm hand in his once more. He wants to feel how your fingers lightly brush against his as they bend and fold to rest upon his.

Would you pull your hand away if he reached out to grab ahold of it?

He thinks and thinks, his teeth biting his bottom lip as he ponders at what he should do. You’ve held hands in the theater, but it was dark inside and not as…as public. He’s not sure why he’s this nervous. It’s you, the love of his life, the sweet girl who bumped into him at the cafe down the street from your house. And of course you just met, but he feels as if he’s known you his whole life.

Taking a breath, he builds the courage to reach down and grab your hand, right as the signal to walk changes from red to white. He looks at you, his eyebrows raised as you stare up at him in shock, your cheeks flushing a beautiful shade of red.

“I’m…I’m sorry…”

Hyunjin was cut off by your hand squeezing his.

“Don’t be sorry, I like this Hyun,” you responded, your face spreading into a smile.

Hyunjin nodded his head and smiled back, his dimple popping up on his cheek. He shook his head in resolve and started walking with you by his side. He couldn’t believe something as simple as holding your hand could make him feel this way, as if he had just won the lottery and was the luckiest man alive. He’d make sure to remember this moment for the rest of his life that’s for sure

Your relationship progressed, both of you comfortably falling into each other’s routines, your two paths merging as if it was always meant to be.

You both opted for an at home date, agreeing to cook dinner together. Hyunjin never cooked before he met you, opting to fill his stomach with take out from the local restaurants. When you found out his diet was not the best, you flipped, shrieking how he needed proper nutrients and that you would take care of his meals.

That was the start of you cooking and bringing his meals to his home, making sure he ate properly each day. He blushed as you fussed over the containers, unloading them one by one from your bag. You explained when to eat what and what each item was, as you scurried across his kitchen.

Eventually, he suggested that you come over and show him how to cook basic meals, so that way you didn’t have to make extra portions.

This suggestion led to both of you elbow deep in dough, as you showed him how to make bread, your arms flexing as you carefully kneaded the dough. He watched in awe as you worked, little droplets of sweat dripping down the side of your face.

Hyunjin didn’t realize he was staring until you asked him a question as you used the back of your arm to wipe the sweat off your face.

“Hyun!” You said, giggling as he shook his head to break out of his reverie.

“What did you ask?” Hyunjin replied sheepishly, his hands reaching for anything in his reach.

You chuckled and bumped against his arm, “I asked if you had any questions so far?”

Hyunjin had many questions as he wasn’t paying attention to your instructions, but he didn’t want to dishearten you so he said no and continued to knead the dough that was in front of him.

You both worked in comfortable silence with soft music playing in the background. Hyunjin watched as you reached into the bag of flower, grasping a finger full. You were about to throw it on the counter so the dough wouldn’t stick, but at the last second you flicked your wrist towards him, the flour flying through the air and landing on his face.

Hyunjin let out a shriek, your cackles filling the kitchen as you doubled over clutching your stomach. Hyunjin chuckled, reached into the flour bag and grabbed a handful, launching it you.

An all out flour war began, both of you leaping and dodging each other, flour flying everywhere, the powder floating gently through the air. Your clothes were splattered with the white substance, as you pelted each other. Hyunjin’s deep laughter mixed your tinkling sound, the cacophony resonating throughout the little kitchen.

Hyunjin watched as you grabbed another hand full of flour, but just as you were about to launch it at him, you slipped on the powder littering the floor, your arms flailing forwards. You shrieked and drop towards the floor, your hands reaching out to grab onto anything you could.

He quickly reached out his hands and caught you, cradling you gently within his ams. You both were breathing heavy, your chests rapidly rising and falling, little puffs of air coming from your lips as you both stood there in silence.

Hyunjin helped you stand back up, his hands traveling down your arms. He gazed down at you, his eyes catching yours. You looked beautiful, your cheeks flushed with specks of flour, wisps of your hair falling into your face.

Hyunjin’s breath caught as his gaze drifted to your lips, his mind wandering how they would feel on his. It’s not the first time he’s thought this, the idea floating around his head late at night as he laid in bed, his hand drifting to his cock that seems to always be hard during the night hours as he thinks of you.

Your eyes widen, your pupils dilating as you waited in anticipation for his next move. Time seemed to stand still as Hyunjin took a breath and gently cupped your chin, gently tipping your head up.

Leaning down, he slowly closed the gap between you two until he could feel your breath on him. There was a pause as you both stood together, his hand on your chin, his forehead against yours. Closing the final distance, your lips collided. Your lips were soft on his as he pulled you closer, his hands sliding down your arms, your torso until they reached your waist.

Hyunjin could hear fireworks going off within his head and he smiled at the cliche thought, as he continued to move his lips against yours. He shivered as you wrapped your arms around his neck, clutching onto him as he continued to kiss you gently but passionately.

Just when he thought he’d run out of oxygen, you pulled away partially, a string of spit connecting your two lips, as you fought to catch your breath. Hyunjin rested his forehead against yours and let out a chuckle as you smiled, your fingers softly carding through his hair.

You both stood there gazing at each other, your lips pressing together again and again in breathy exchange. The night went on, the dough forgotten as you embraced each other, listening to the sound of your hearts beating and the sound of the soft notes of a piano flowing throughout the room.

“Let’s watch a movie baby,” you cooed, snuggling closer to him, your head nuzzling into his chest.

You both were in your bed, spending a lazy day together. Hyunjin loved being in your room, being surrounded by your scent, with the presence of your interests scattered throughout the room. He pulled you closer, chuckling as you squeaked at the sudden movement.

Your legs were wrapped around his, your hand on his belly as he lightly brushed his fingertips down your spine. Hyunjin has dreamed of a moment like this for weeks, wanting you within his arms, the promise of more lingering in the air.

And that’s exactly how the night went. He remembers lowering you on your back, your hair splayed out on the pillow, your big brown eyes staring up at him.

He pressed wet kisses all over your cheeks, your jaw, your neck, his cock swelling at the sound of your sweet moans as he worshipped your body. He found himself grinding into you, his cock meeting your core with each pass, strangled moans leaving his lips.

Hyunjin held his breath as you rid yourself of your shirt, tossing it away before settling back onto the pillow. He swallowed as you fondled your breasts, your fingers playing with your nipples looking at him with a hooded gaze.

“Touch me,” you breathed, your lips parted as you watched his every move.

He grasped your breasts, cupping the flesh as his fingers brushed and tugged against your nipples. He listened to your moans, his eyes widening as you arched into his touch, your hands reaching out to meet his. Hyunjin reveled in how they felt perfect within the palm of his hand, soft and plushy, his mind reeling at the feel of them.

He groaned as he wrapped his lips around your nipple, your back arching into him as he licked and sucked, his other hand massaging your other breast. He felt euphoric, waves of pleasure traveling through his body as he pleasured you.

Releasing your nipple with a pop, he hurriedly rid himself of his boxers, his cock slapping against his belly at the force and pre cum oozing from his tip. He took in your gaze, as you licked your lips at the sight of his member, your hands reaching out to encircle his length.

He whimpered as you slid your hand against his shaft, your palm coming up to circle the head over and over. His mouth was wide open as he shuddered in pleasure, his hips slightly thrusting up into your hand. You stroked him harder, faster, your eyes trained on him, a smirk forming on your face as you watched him fall apart above you.

“Can’t…stop love,” Hyunjin breathed, his hand reaching out to gently remove yours from his cock. “Need to be in you. Will you let me have you?” He asked with hope in your eyes.

He groaned out as you parted your legs more, displaying your wet pussy to him.

“Of course baby,” you cooed as you reached down to part your folds so your leaking entrance was on display.

Hyunjin grasped his cock, stroking it a few times before pressing it at your hole. He was about to push in when he stopped, hesitating to proceed.

You looked up at him curiously as you asked, “why’d you stop?”

Hyunjin cleared his throat, his eyes roaming up your body until they landed on your brown orbs.

“I um…I don’t have a condom,” he replied, his eyes cast downward at the implications of not being able to have you.

However, he perked up when you responded, a wide smile on your face.

“I’m on birth control, so we don’t need one if you don’t mind.”

He felt his heart flutter, his cock twitching at the thought of not only having you for the first time but also bare. He gripped his cock harder and brushed his tip through your folds, the head catching on your clit before trailing back down to your entrance.

He pushed within you, his eyes trained on your pussy as your warm walls engulfed him like a hug. He faltered slightly, letting out a breath as the pleasure was too overwhelming. You were so wet, the slide easy as he pushed further within you.

He groaned as you whimpered, spreading your legs wider so you could watch where you two were connected. Hyunjin began thrusting his hips into you, his breath stuttering as your pussy clenched around him, holding him in.

He wasn’t going to last long, the feeling of you, the smell of you, even the sound of you being too overwhelming. He quickly attached his lips to yours as he brought his hand to your clit, sloppily circling the bud to get you to your high.

He could feel you shivering beneath him, your hands clawing at his back as he pounded into you. His face was buried in your neck, your lips at his ear whispering the most dirty things, causing him to groan.

You continuously clenched around him, your arms wrapping around his middle, holding him tight, your legs wrapping around his thighs pulling him deeper within you.

You whined his name, whimpering “don’t stop” over and over.

You were driving him insane.

He was moments away from claiming you, his cock swelling at the thought of getting to fill you with his seed. His hips stuttered as his cock twitched within your walls, his mind a mess as he couldn’t think straight.

You lifted his head and brought his lips to yours in a passionate kiss, the action tipping him over the edge, reaching that euphoria he has only experienced within the confines of his room or in his dreams.

It was better than he could imagine, causing him to whimper as his cum filled you within. His eyes rolled to the back of his head as you gasped as you reached your high, the rhythmic contraction of your walls milking him dry.

Hyunjin swallowed your moans, his body caging yours as he lazily rocked into you, riding out both of your highs.

He let out a shaky breath before pulling back, taking in your sweaty body beneath his, the clear sheen coating every inch of your skin. He withdrew his cock, watching as his cum seeped from your pussy, your walls contracting at the emptiness and pushing out the white liquid.

“I love you,” you whispered as you gazed up at him, a soft smile gracing your face.

Hyunjin felt his heart swell at the confession, his love for you expanding by the second.

You loved him.

He mouthed the words before running a hand through his hair.

You loved him.

Looking down at you lovingly, he pushed your hair back from your face, his eyes taking in the afterglow. He licked his lips and kissed you before laying down next to you and pulling you close.

“I love you.” He repeated, meaning every word as it left his mouth.

— —

Yeah firsts are scary. Hyunjin has never liked them. However, he doesn’t mind sharing firsts with you, the love of his life.

He remembers that as you descend the steps, dressed in a beautiful little black dress, your hair carefully fixed and makeup done to perfection.

Here Hyunjin is celebrating yet another first with you, your first anniversary, and he could not be happier and more satisfied.

You are his first but also his last.

Tag list: @jehhskz @jeonginsleftcheek @simpforleeknaur @armystay89 @palindrome969 @slut4hee @ivydoesit23 @amarecerasus @kaysungshine @fun-fanfics @baby-stay92 @velvetmoonlght @possum-playground

[cherie-doll]

I said "do you think you'll kill for me one day?"

(Yes, of course I will, my darling)

― yandere!cod men x reader ― ε price, ghost, soap, gaz, roach, makarov, alejandro, rudy, phillip graves, keegan, könig, horangi, nikto з suggestive?

꒰ ͜ ‿ ͜ ♡ ͜ ‿ ͜ ꒱

ଘ You're no plaything for Price. He doesn't just like you, he adores you. Cups your pretty face in his hands; delicately. His rugged and rough hands become gentle as soon as he comes into contact with your skin, treating it as if it were finely-grained porcelain. He treats you the exact opposite of how he treats anyone else. Whilst he leaves everyone else covered from head to toe in blood for coming near you, you're covered from head to toe in the most expensive items you wish for. But, he doesn't want you to forget that his money doesn't represent his love for you, it does not begin to cover not even half of what it should. He'll be sure to remind you not to be spoiled rotten. He's fond of you and while he's interested in you, you should listen and obey to what he advices you. He is more experienced after all.

ଘ Compare what Simon's scars and bruises are to your unscathed body. Let his hands roam over your body, taking in all he works for. Let them wander and familiarize with what he's toying with. His breath on your skin as it quickens, losing his train of thoughts as he fondles you. He's convinced you're meant only for him. No one else should touch you this way, no one could do it like he does. And please return it! Cradle his head in your lap, so the sizzling subsides and he feels alive. Let him know he's the best, the one. Let him lean in and capture those soft, plump lips in a passionate kiss. Don't pull away, don't deny him his heaven. And don't you dare let anyone else trail your body with their eyes like he does. Why, he'll feel as if they're already doing what their mind desires. He's screwed up in his mind but he'll move heaven and earth for those thighs to wrap around his waist at night spilling the warmth between them. Make him feel warm and welcome, give him the world he burns everyone else for. He sacrifices others at the feet of your altar.

ଘ Johnny's smug smile can fade rather quickly with one sensual move from you, watch him get lost as his breath is winded and his body is overtaken with an all-consuming fire of passion. Oh, he can't even fathom the idea of anyone before or after him experiencing such things. He'll be paralyzed the moment you sit on his lap and putting your hand to his chest, let it trail over his heart which at the moment beats wildly. It's a sensation he experiences when plunging a knife deep within someone else's chest, he reckons the feeling is almost the same. He thinks his victims rather lucky they die this way. How many other people can experience that fleeting, overwhelming feeling?

ଘ Kyle's hand kisses are done with such reverent trembling and respect that he'll have your skin tingling with warm sensations as if the late evening sun was seeping into your skin. Let his and your body blend together like the watercolors on an artist's canvas does. Bask in his affection like you'll sunbathe on the beach. Take in all the good he brings you, accept every touch of his that starts with a secure embrace and ends with the colliding of your bodies. The cold with which he lashes out for others has no place with the gentleness he entreats you with. Keep your eyes on his, locked in his steady gaze immerses himself in fantasies. He feels dizzy as if his world was spinning, losing himself in the sensations. And after the elation, let him shower you in praises, caresses and gifts. Let him buy you two rings for each finger, how many could you want to show off having a caring partner when you slide his card at the register? Make your hands look pretty whilst his are leaving a trail of crimson blood after him.

ଘ Roach couldn't ever hurt anyone else, he didn't know what he was capable of until the importance of you came all too clear. You're something that shouldn't belong to anyone else in the world. It's a quick descent down the spiral of violent devotion. His soft gaze usually filled with admiration and sentiment for you hardens, his pupils dilating as fear takes over. He's only acting on behalf of all his anguish, you haven't the heart to condemn him. He's shown you what your heart is worth, couldn't you give him some sort of heaven? He will do very well at whatever it is you ask of him, just wait while he shows you. There isn't anyone else like him he says over and over as if a prayer or spell he could make come true.

ଘ Makarov does not care whether he deserves you or not. Unlike the others who will commit unspeakable acts out of guilt and use their "pure" intentions to purify their actions, Makarov is selfish and relentless in what he wants. He does not flinch at your attempts of control, it's lost the moment he takes you in. He's determined to taste everything you have to offer, whether it's willingly or not. But he does like things to be served on a platter for him, he also has no problem taking it himself. Let the hand on the back of your neck guide you in the direction you are to walk, be docile and you'll surely receive tenderness. He can never deny that he loves the way your lashes flutter as you look through them up at him as he pats your head for being so good. Overtime you might notice small details showing his exterior cracking and revealing the soft, white underbelly of affection. He feels as if his chest caves in from your actions, the subtle red at the tip of his ears. Keep pulling at his neck collar, he'll like that fake sense of control you have.

ଘ You wouldn't ever catch a glimpse of Alejandro's manipulative strategies until he finds someone threatening. Is it wrong you're not seeing enough of other people? His biggest fear is you falling for someone else, the danger of you getting too close to someone is palpable for him. The intimacy you two share is from the harvest he's worked so hard for. He's been slaving away for so long to just let someone else lay a hand on you. He kneads you into what he desires, anything to feel the beating heart in your chest which pumps only for him. He'll keep polishing you until he gets down to the bare essence of you, which he can only dream to capture. The rhythm he wants to feel rushing through his veins, circling throughout his body.

ଘ Rudy's tenderness blinds you as he takes you to what you can only describe to be paradise. With the shining of luxury, all new and just for you he says. He'll press a million sweet kisses on your face before dropping that a most bothersome person will no longer be graced by your presence ever again. To him it's like a quiet act of love, to you, it's unimaginable. Don't worry your head will all the details, isn't it better to have no worries? He's all smooth indulgence telling you to keep looking at the adorned future he has ahead for you, telling you not to pay attention to the blood that stains the walls of the hallways you walk. He would lay out a new, fancy red carpet over the corpses for you to step over and continue in this fabricated dream.

ଘ Phillip knows exactly how to get the best out of you. Can you blame a man for knowing how to get what he wants from you? Let him tease and tug for he knows what every maneuver of his does. The hands that massage your skin don't get dirty, he'll always have others ready and willing to carry out whatever order he gives. It's what he's accustomed to and how he intends to keep it. But the droplets of blood that splatter do not miss his skin. The stain is still there, still under the skin of the thumb he pushes inside of you, feeling around for that bliss. Let his protectiveness clothe your body, he's already blurring the lines between obsessiveness and possessiveness.

ଘ Keegan's eyes will have you coming to a stumbling halt. Asking for something only you know how to give so good. Those erratic eyes that are unpredictable as they are deep, representing the deep dive you have to be holding your breath for. Are you ready to indulge? Because the impact will have you gasping for air, and when you try to take one you'll only swallow a mouthful of carnal desire. He ignites such a heat it's scalding to the touch, you don't know what's happening it's like you lose control. It happens so fast that when it's all over you'll let his lips, from which hot breaths slip through, kiss all over your sweat glistened body. His eyes might be softer and hold it for a while until he's back to the merciless, cold gaze which freezes everyone's else blood, feeling it lump within their veins.

ଘ Let König go on his fast rampages. They're over quick anyways. And afterwards, when he comes back, cradle his head between your thighs his tongue tangling as he stutters out promises to buy you what you wish if only you let him lap at your sweetness until his thoughts are left to reckless abandonment. Let him get what he can't get anywhere else. Call him handsome as your bury your fingers into his hair, your fingertips trailing his jaw and down his neck to where his adam's apple bobs as he swallows hard. Place kisses on his cheek until he turns his head in one swift motion and captures your lips in a desperate kiss. He wants it all, wants all of you all at once it makes him messy, shaky and weak. But he just wants someone to hold him, rubbing his ears and whispering words of affirmation in his ear.

ଘ Horangi could care less what other's want from him. You're in his viewpoint and he's determined to apply as much pressure as possible to make you bend. The reason he justifies himself with is the lullaby he's lulled to sleep with. Everyone else wants something from him, why shouldn't you? Everyone else is just in the way, he says over and over again, trying to make you focus on his lips instead of the bodies on the floor. With what he's done, he expects a standing ovation from you, nothing but complete adoration and servitude. He's a man who chases after impulses, who knows how long until this candle runs out. For now, ignore the brusque hand and acknowledge the underlying intents. He'll keep this lecherous momentum going until you're feeling faint from the mere touch of his hand.

ଘ Resignation is a trait Nikto works hard to work out of you. Surely, you ought to trust him after all he's done for you. In his mind, he's dedicated such gentle caring to you, you should be grateful. Don't be afraid to take directly out of his hand, he prefers you lose that skepticism. And when you do start to gentle, oh he can never get enough of it. His fingers grazing and gliding over your body at any and every chance he can get. Let him delve deeper into you, it's only natural for him to want to know you better. Every quiver of yours, he feels through the epidermis of his skin. He just knows you that well. His jerking movements shouldn't startle you by now. Maybe if you were more open, you would be telling him what you want. Give him some sort of sign before that spark ignites an unyielding fire. Because to him, that trembling is a sign of a smoldering fierceness waiting to break through.

:¨ ·.· ¨: `· . ꔫ

[lilia-calderus-pet-goat]

Found-Family headcanons for a³'s coven of chaos, part 1: (because they all deserved more time with each other)

(part 2, here.)

(part 3, here.)

Agatha learned spanish for Rio, obviously—and spices up her dialogue with Spanish phrases out of habit. I assume she also knows other languages, being alive for as long as she has.

But I'd also like to think that language-learning gradually becomes something they all surprise each other with. And this is definitely super self-indulgent, because I'm always ecstatic when my native English-speaker friends are interested in learning my language.

For example, I definitely think Billy would ask Alice to teach him korean—and she'd be really excited for that. Not to mention, I feel like Billy just has the vibe of someone who'd be interested in learning different languages. (and korean in particular I think he'd definitely find interesting.)

I also definitely think Jen would try learning Sicilian for Lilia, considering the effort she makes to understand her and keep her comfortable towards the end. Lilia would be so moved, because she probably hasn't spoken to anyone in her mother-tongue in centuries. Like, it's literally considered an endanged language. (“Currently considered a “vulnerable” language by UNESCO, Sicilian faces increasing pressure from standard Italian, though it remains stronger than nearly all other Italian language varieties.”)

Mrs. Davis loves making food for all of them, always trying to diversify her cooking to suit their appetites, their cultures, the things each of them can eat, etc. It's a lot, but she doesn't mind!! She's a grandma!! She loves feeding people—and she missed having someone to cook for.

She grows her greens all by herself, too. Rio occasionally helps her with weeding and stuff. Mrs. Davis is freaked out by her rancid vibes at first, but ends up saying she's a “very sweet girl,” to which everyone responds by staring at her horrified.

Mrs. Davis would also definitely make a chore chart for everyone, but it never works out for a NUMBER of reasons.

First or all, Agatha always skips her turn with cleaning, saying that “she forgot.” She knows that either Billy or Sharon will just take care of it anyways. (Jen refuses to do any of Agatha's chores. “She can either do it by herself or drown in her own garbage-”)

Lilia always gets distracted and leaves her chores unfinished. She can only ever remember laundry, for some reason—she does everyone's laundry. But other than that, jeez. My girl is messy and that's okay. She has her very own unique way of finding where she puts her stuff, but others would merely call it chaos. Jen always picks up after her—and Lilia always huffs and puffs about how, “well now I can't find anything!”

Alice is the sort of person who accidentally creates messes everywhere, then stuffs everything wherever she finds. In drawers, under beds, you name it. Very, “out of sight, out of mind.” Like, she probably has “a chair” where she throws all her clothes.

Billy is very responsible, always abiding to the chore chart and oftentimes doing Agatha's chores too.

Jen is a total neat freak. She wants everything to be organised and under control—and she needs everything to smell nice.

She always makes the others scented candles. Agatha claims they're “useless garbage,” but uses them anyways.

Jen is also the one who usually keeps track of the bills and expenses, since she earns the most through her, “real job.”

Lilia is the sort of person to get lost in the mall, or even just the super-market. Alice has needed to look for her more than once.

Agatha loves crushing Jen's videos by appearing in the background and doing whatever bullshit she feels like.

Alice and Billy are everyone's mediators. Whenever someone gets in an argument, they're the ones who force them to work it out.

Alice is very protective of Sharon and Lilia, because she has mommy issues. Agatha has the opposite sort of mommy issues—but Sharon and Lilia treat them both like they're their kids.

The first time Billy brought Eddie to meet his coven, they literally put him through trials to decide whether he's worthy to date their son. Eddie is surprised he's been coven-approved.

“These women are insane, Billy—but then again, so am I for sticking around anyways.”

Eddie is very tired. His favourite coven members are Jen and Alice, who he considers the most normal. I REALLY think he'd fuck with Jen, because they're both so done with everyone else.

[katiascraft]

"This is how you fall in love" | OP81

parings: Oscar Piastri x Reader.

Summary: Oscar is truly, madly, deeply in love with you.

Now playing: "this is how you fall in love" by Jeremy Zucker & Chelsea Cutler.

Word count: +1,2k

Warnings: I think none just pure fluff. Not a native English speaker so there could be (so many errors). I do what I can. Not proofread.

Authors note: hey I don’t even know if this is good - I really hope it is - but I needed to write about Oscar SO BAD. (Btw is Yale in New York? Forgot to look it up). Don’t forget to comment, like or reblog! And follow me so we can be friends :3 (and drink mate together!)

MASTERLIST

It was a sunny morning in Monaco. The quiet of the city could still be appreciated. You were asleep on the bed you shared with Oscar. It was your first night here since you haven’t seen each for the last time about 1 month or maybe almost 2. Time is a difficult thing to be aware of with his schedule to be honest.

Both of you had really busy lifestyles yet managed to build this relationship. Mostly it was a long distance relationship. He was traveling and working the whole year. And you were a student at YALE university in New York City. As students it was difficult to find a gap between your exam and classes that fitted the races. You tried your best to always be there for him. Even if it was through the phone after the race. And for him that was really considerate.

You didn’t even have time to breathe when it was exams season yet you still find time to call and check on him. He knows it’s an obvious thing you’re supposed to do with people you love. But still he really appreciates it.

He was so happy and grateful you were finally together. Because you don’t see each other that often - every moment you spend together it’s so intense and pure magic. You do everything you could think of before saying goodbye again and part ways. It was the hardest part of your relationship. You said goodbye to each other so many times it anxiety breaking. He just never could get enough from you, from being with you. He has never felt this way about anyone and the fact that it’s been 4 years of being side by side it was crazy to him. How he would never get bored of you. You were always so intriguing, unpredictable, witty. You were the opposite when it came to what others could see. But behind close doors in your little magical and full of love world - you two matched each other's crazy perfectly.

Oscar is an introvert and really shy when it comes to interactions with people, always feeling nervous and so polite. You were always loud and could talk even with a wall if you wanted to. Always the life of the party so extroverted. You were the opposite but the same in a way. You would get so shy around him giggling like the teenager you were since you two met. And he could be the best at flirting and teasing around you. You made him feel so comfortable in his own skin and he just got loose and relaxed. Could be the real him with you. And just for you.

In your little beautiful world you wouldn’t stop talking about everything and anything. Joking around and teasing each other just to end up having sex in the living room. The chemistry between you two was unmatched. Behind your four walls he was the most confident man and you were as well. Bringing the best of each other out. Just for the other one. You were sexy, fierce, not afraid of anything. He made you feel even powerful.the way he always uplift you when you needed him the most and the fact that you could be so vulnerable knowing he won’t judge. He never did. He knew the real you and embraced it. His love changed you so much. He is the best thing that ever happened to you. And you were his. Oscar with you was kind of another person. It was him of course but intensified. Open and free. You gave him that space, that safety. And he adored you so much for that. Being himself it’s something he struggles with most of the time. Shying away. But with you by his side he could be the life of the party too.

He loved watching you study so concentrated. He would join you in silence, maybe by reading a book, or preparing your favorite tea in moral support. Or he would just sit in silence admiring you. How the sun would reflect on you and how it could make you shine even more. How perfect you’d look. And how that could make his heart race high speed. He would feel so lucky to have you. The comfort he felt was so big. He would want the time to stop right there and live stuck there forever. With you. Also, he loved the way you showed him so much love. He loved your homemade cakes and pies. You were so good with pastry. It was your inside joke. Because you were so good with him as well. He sometime would join you and try to help just to fail miserably and start a flour fight. The kitchen ended up in a mess but you were giggling and enjoying yourselves. Everything was worth it.

He really loved sharing activities together. Whether it was a paddle match against George and Carmen or Maria Kart battles with Lando. Also you loved hiking together and discovering new places around Monaco where you could escape reality and plan picnic dates. He loved that you got along so well with his friends and family. Since day one it felt natural. Everyone was welcoming of you. He was so nervous about it. But it was perfect because for him you were.

He heard you coming down the stairs just in time for the breakfast he had prepared for you both. You appeared with your hair in a mess and sleepy eyes. His tshirt on and your boxers of lighting mcqueen. You looked so adorable. Squishy. he smiled widely at you. And you returned the smile hugging him tightly.

“Good morning sleeping beauty” he said sweetly, grabbing you in his arms and kissing your temple. He heard you giggle.

“Good morning my Prince Charming. How grateful I am to wake up next to you for the rest of my life” you said teasingly and romantically looking at him. He giggled blushing. A soft pink tone now on his cheeks. You always had that effect on him.

“and how grateful I am to have you in my arms every morning for the rest of my days” he said just like you making you giggle to then plant a soft kiss on your lips. “I love you,” he said, pulling away gently.

“Me too my love” you said softly.

You two took all of the things he had prepared with so much love to the table by the pool. The morning was beautiful and warm. Perfect. He put all of your favorite fruits and prepared your favorite cappuccino as well. He is always on the details. He remembered everything about you. You didn't have to ask - he already knew. He was perfect. Perfectly imperfect. There was no other man like him. You were sure about it. And you felt really lucky he even looked at you. These past few years were everything and more of what you could ever have dreamed as a kid. You always wanted to have your special someone - but you never thought you would find him.

You had your breakfast talking about what you were gonna do for the day.

Maybe this is what it really feels to fall in love.

Peaceful. Comfortable in silence. Not overthinking. Just being you and feeling loved. Feeling seen. Feeling celebrated. Cared for. Being chosen. The one. The bestest of friends. Your shoulder to cry on. Laughing until crying. Hugs and more hugs. Plasire. Deep talk. Vulnerability. Partnership. Support. Admiration. Trust and communication.

Giving a part of you to someone else to carry everywhere they went trusting they will never break it.

Maybe this is how you fall in love.

How you two fell in love every single day.

——————————————————————————————-

Hope you liked it 💌 if you have any ideas my inbox is open so send your requests!

[dearheartdont]

Tagged!

tagged in WIP Wunday by @manicpixiedreamedwins. Thank you very much.

DBD, Charles POV, Payneland, getting ready for date night.

The suit is single-breasted and close-cut in a rich burgundy. After hours searching through photos on the internet (Crystal had done most of the searching), Charles had decided on tonic cloth for the fabric, so there is an inky blue sheen that flashes in and out of prominence when he moves. A paisley handkerchief peeks out of his breast pocket.

He looks good, Charles knows - Crystal had let out a teasing whistle when he changed into his new outfit - but something isn’t quite right.

It’s the tie. He’d worn one with his school uniform, but most of the time left it pulled loose and took the demerits teachers doled out for slovenly dress. He can’t really feel the knot around his neck, but it’s somehow still uncomfortable.

“At school, there was a joke,” Charles says, “What do you call a working-class lad in a suit?”

Crystal turns away from the bathroom mirror and repeats, “What do you call a working-class lad in a suit?

“The defendant.”

“That’s not funny.” Crystal watches him press his fingers to the knot of the tie.

“I didn’t think so either,” Charles says. It was something that the boys (and teachers) bandied about as the height of wit. Laughter following the punchline, eyes watching and waiting for Charles to join in. He had back then, smiling with teeth and pushing down the urge to bite back. He wouldn’t now.

“Get rid of the tie,” Crystal says, “you still look good without it.”

The tie fades and Charles undoes his top shirt button.

“Better. Now get out of my way so I can do my eyeliner.” The softness of Crystal’s voice in is opposition to the words. Charles allows himself to be shoved through the bathroom door and into the hotel bedroom.

He catches the tail end of what Niko is saying to Edwin. “--different can be good.”

Edwin does look different: a black tuxedo suit, white bowtie and black patent shoes. Like someone out of an old-timey advert selling cigarettes or expensive whiskey. Like someone who should be leading some fancy lady covered in sparkles round a ballroom, instead taking Charles on a date.

They stare at each other in silence, until “Oh fuck me,” falls out of Charles’ mouth.

Niko giggles, but Charles doesn’t turn, eyes pinned to Edwin in front of him.

“Is it too much?” Edwin’s hands tug at his shirt cuffs, gold cufflinks flashing. “I forewent the waistcoat as they no longer seem to be the fashion, but this was the formal wear I was most familiar with."

“It was a good ‘fuck me’. You look like James Bond, mate.”

“I know who that is.” Edwin says, and there's that small, pleased smile that would be a grin on anyone else. “You look rather handsome too.”

“Only rather handsome?”

Edwin’s steps closer and reaches out his hands to fuss with Charles’ handkerchief. When satisfied, he presses a hand against Charles’ chest over the pocket. Edwin dips his face closer, so he can whisper into Charles’ ear. “Would you prefer ‘fuck me’ handsome, instead?”

Charles can’t reply, his throat suddenly too dry to make words.

[badaboomx]

Imagine Bada Lee as your girlfriend

This is part one, the fluff. For part two, the filth, click here. Courtesy of yours truly, BOOM.

IN PUBLIC:

It doesn't matter how long you've been dating, just looking at each other in public still gets you both fired up.

Even if you're on opposite ends of the room, you will find her staring at you.

For this reason, you both keep public displays of affection at minimum.

A gentle touch here, and absentminded squeeze there but nothing too overt.

Save for few occasions.

Namely, when Bada wants to make sure people know she's yours and you're hers.

Simple gestures like standing just behind you, knowing you'll look back at her with a fond smile and lean against her just a bit while you keep talking to whoever it is.

Or on the rare occasion someone is making the moves on you, she'll make sure it's clear.

A playful whisper to your ear to get you giggling, an arm wrapped around you, outright flirting with you to get your heart fluttering, or boldly claiming that she'll visit you home after whatever you are doing is over.

And of course, she enjoyed that kind of gestures from you.

Visiting her when she's at her studio creating or teaching a choreography invigorates her and she has told you so

But what truly gets her going is you reminding her that she has you.

A simple gesture like reminding her to stretch well, to get back home in one shape, to call you if she feels tired after working, or offering your lap for her to lay her head on as she rests while you're there.

But on the rare occassion that someone keeps making eyes with Bada, you'll follow her lead and make things really clear.

Hugging her with that tight grip of yearning, nuzzling into her neck and placing a subtle but playful kiss that Bada can't help but to smile at, grazing your hand on that one sensitive spot on her stomach to get her electrified and unable to stop looking at you, or boldly claiming that you will be waiting for her at home.

It's become evident to everyone around you both that the tension is palpable and undeniable, even with the subtle gesture.

You both could stare at each other, standing close but not enough, and someone will still mumble "get a room" under their breath.

Yet, both of you barely kiss in public!

Because that's a whole can of worms...

[firstkanaphans]

That one ask/reply shitting on THK and GMMTV in general is really.... something. 🙃 I think you and @invisiblegarters already expressed most of my thoughts on that but I just want to add that based on every Jojo interview I've ever watched (and I've watched a lot of them during Only Friends), I never once got the impression that he's being forced to worked with branded pairs and, as you pointed out, it's actually kind of insulting to suggest he's having these pairs forced onto him and has to write stories he actually doesn’t want to tell just to suit those pairs. During OF I saw a lot of talk (from the same circle of people who are now criticising THK before a single episode has even aired) about this too (about Jojo probably being forced to keep SandRay and TopMew together just because the actors are branded pairs) but everything always pointed to the opposite being true: Jojo (along with the other OF writers) wrote a script where 2 of the couples are together at the end and one is not. And he chose the actors according to that story, NOT the other way around (he chose branded pairs to play those 2 couples because he always planned on them to be together and therefore felt branded pairs would fit that kind of a story/ending).

Not to mention I thought Jojo being a simp for Khao was common knowledge, but I guess not? But yeah, uh, anyone that has ever watched any of the Soonvijarn videos knows this. It was only a matter of time before Jojo got to work with Khaotung tbh (and clearly wants to keep working him and First, given he chose to work with FK immediately after he already worked with them). Directors have faves and it's very clear Khao is one of Jojo's.

The only thing I will agree with that original post on is the fact that it'd be nice to see some of these branded pairs act in projects solo or with a different partner. However, that doesn't have to mean they should stop working with their branded pair altogether. I don't see why they couldn't do both. Though honestly, for me the main determining factor is what the actors themselves feel happiest doing. There are certain actors who definitely do not/did not enjoy being stick in a branded pair and that was visible from the moom. I'm glad for those of them who are no longer in branded pairs, since that's obviously not something they wanted. However, FK are not one of those pairs. From everything I see of them right now, they both feel happy and fulfilled working with each other. The moment they stop feeling that way, I will stop wanting to see them act in shows together as a couple. People seriously need to stop being so vehemently against branded pairs as a whole. (There's also a lot of hipocrisy going around: Branded pairs are totally fine if it means these people will get to see a pair like MaxTul play a couple in multiple series, but as soon as a GMMTV branded pair acts in several BLs together, branded pairs are suddenly bad and are holding the actors back. Double standards much?)

[This ask was sent in response to this post, but I would just skip down to @invisiblegarters addition because it's the only part worth reading]

Yeah, there’s an anti-GMMTV branded pair movement going on here on Tumblr and I don’t understand where it came from or what its purpose is considering early GMMTV pairs such as OffGun and TayNew are exempt from criticism. 

It seems to come down to just a fundamental misunderstanding of the genre. In romances, the two main characters end up together. If they do not end up together, it’s not a romance. It does not matter if the two main characters are played by a branded pair or not. This is just how romances work. 

Not to mention that these shows are conceptualized way before they are ever cast and are oftentimes based on novels, so the casting has literally no bearing on the story at all. In the case of THK specifically, Jojo has been working on that script for at least two years. FK weren’t even a branded pair back then!

To suggest that queer characters are only getting happy endings because a company is trying to sell fan meets is incredibly insulting to not only the queer creators who make these works, but also the queer viewers who want to see a happy ending for themselves on screen.

[bloomiii]

Okay, I have been thinking about Diluc and have thoughts on this post.

First, I disagree with the idea of Diluc being extremely bitchy/aggressive towards Kaeya in the early patches, especially in Venti's quest. The dialogue follows below and if anything, Kaeya is the one that is bitchy.

Diluc simply asks him to "drink responsibly" and Kaeya is the one that goes "you'd throw me out with the trash." And we learn Diluc still cares even if he won't admit it by keeping the vase. One of the main differences between Diluc and Kaeya in the early patches was that Kaeya values the past and their childhood (perhaps too much) while Diluc is the exact opposite and wants to leave it completely behind.

This makes sense for both characters. Kaeya has little hope for the future because of his fate/destiny. Kaeya feels like Diluc doesn't value their past while Diluc sees little value in the extremely naive person he was before.

And this tracks with the Diluc's message at Cat's Tail:

Even I sometimes reminisce about the carefree and happy days of the past. The warmth of the Knights, my friends, my father... Everything was perfect. But one can never return to the past. For the sake of the future, I cannot keep on dreaming in memories.

Diluc's mindset is about always pushing forward, never looking back, (which is funny with the whole turnfire lore in Natlan). One of his ascension lines says "No matter what dares to stand in my way, I must press forward."

And in Weinlesfest, he says about Razor's situation that "tragedy can drive personal growth and learning how to face it head-on is part of growing up."

In that coffee-making event, Diluc says he was "young and naive" for *checks notes* making some juice as a child.

In GAA, Kaeya encourages Diluc to do something fun with the seashell collecting, and Diluc is surprised Kaeya would remember that, because he thinks that Kaeya must have left it all behind, like Diluc wants to do.

I think Diluc has gone too far in the opposite direction, becoming cynical and untrusting, and his arc in the game is about learning how to rely on people and trust again. This is what the traveler does for Diluc, helping him learn how to trust people again. And this is why Kaeya is the first one to reach out, because Diluc, despite still caring about Kaeya (he keep his secret and he keeps the vase) sees no point in rekindling their relationship, in trying to go back to the past.

So, I don't think that Hidden Strife overly changed the nature of their relationship. Kaeya, in the manga, reaches out first, and Diluc agrees to help with his plan. Kaeya sends the first letter and Diluc reciprocates by sending letters back. In Diluc's story quest, Kaeya makes the first move by telling Diluc he is glad Diluc has an assistant (read: glad that he is trusting people) and won't tell his DNH secret.

And Diluc starts reciprocating when Kaeya reaches out. He helps Kaeya with making Jean's skin, and he adds food to Angel's Share after Kaeya mentions it. Eventually culminating in Diluc reaching out on his own in Weinlesfest and inviting Kaeya for dinner after Kaeya initially refuses.

Along with Kaeya and Diluc's different personalities, where Kaeya is mischievous and Diluc, not being very conversational, often refuses to play along and kind of just ignores a lot of what Kaeya says (Diluc's little Hmph's) may make it seem like they dislike each other.

They often give each other shit, but its not from a place of true hatred. Like in GAA with Kaeya complaining about Diluc melting his ice bridge, when he could have just left on his own if he really wanted to.

I also know that people think Hidden Strife to be a complete retcon. I also thought this. But then I came across this post that actually talked about how all of it could work without retconning. Some food for thought.

based on diluc’s story quest, he didn’t seem to know that kaeya knew (or suspected) that diluc was the darknight hero til the end of that questline, though kaeya’s letters (starting at his seventh letter, possibly his sixth) imply he might know or suspect that diluc is the dnh. i’m inclined to believe that the events of diluc’s story quest took place between the sixth and seventh letters (where kaeya goes from a more vague suggestion that dnh and diluc would ‘get along well’ to outright stating that “my lips are sealed”) which casts the final letter exchange (Kaeya’s ninth letter and diluc’s second, which was in response to that) in an interesting light.

My complicated feelings about Diluc's character is that his character stories set him up on this loss of innocence arc, this previously naive child, who learns that the world is not black and white, that people he cares about could do "bad" things, be involved with "bad" people, and that they could have good or understandable reasons for doing "bad" things. But then he is put in scenarios where it is obvious he has the moral high ground and never has to work through morally complex scenarios and hard decisions.

(Like, I read this fic where Diluc is hunting down a fatui grunt, and Diluc is like "tell me what I want to know or I kill you" and the fatui is like " you really except me to betray my country and my family for you" and chooses death. And he is forced to acknowledge the other side could have just as righteous motives and parallel it with Kaeya who would be betraying his (blood) family if he sided with Mondstadt. Or any fic where someone comes after Diluc for revenge because he indiscriminately killed fatui in Snezhnaya and killed someone they cared about. Or his whole parallel with Signora who was also betrayed by the KOF and now hates Mond and is on the side of the fatui. Or Eroch, who is corrupt, but could be said to be acting for Mondstadt's greater good by preserving the people's faith in the KOF.)

They need to reveal more about Crepus' shady actions for Diluc's arc to work (did Diluc find out his father actually did terrible things to get the delusion or was he just a stoog). They need to tell us how Diluc felt about receiving a vision under the upbringing of Crepus, who is characterized as a faithful/religious man.

"Diluc's father had once said to him that the world would never turn its back on the faithful. But now, the Knights of Favonius trampled on his faith like it was nothing. He couldn't help but wonder: What was his father's view on faith in his final moments?"- Diluc's character story 3

"Visions are a light in the sea of darkness that surrounds those who have lost their way. But for those who have faith, they are little more than badges of conviction."- Diluc's vision voiceline

And now he uses his vision, after abandoning it during his father's death, but it is just a tool to him.

And then in Hidden Strife, we get this.

"I will go out and experience all that the world has to offer, just as you have suggested. My father’s will shall find continuation through me."

Which seems to change Diluc's three year trip to something that was done with a calm mind and rational thought, encouraged by Alice as a good way to deal with his grief, rather than something done in the height of anger and grief, resulting in him almost getting killed by the harbingers, contradicting his character stories:

"After his close encounter with death, Diluc took a long hard look at his past and the anger he had harbored for so long. Acknowledging his shortcomings, he decided to join the underground intelligence network."

and

"The events of his years away had purged him of his childish immaturity, and turned him into a hero ready to shoulder his father's will once more. Each night, from the shadows, he fought for Mondstadt."

I would love to see evidence of Diluc's supposed enlightenment and understanding gained from his tragedy and his three years away.

If it's not too much trouble, could you expand on Diluc's "already incoherent characterization" you mentioned in one of your recent posts? I'm just curious cause I also feel that there's something off about him writing-wise but I can't put my finger on it.

sigh. so, at the start of the game hoyo wrote diluc as super aggressive and negative towards kaeya specifically and knights in general, and all of their interactions are very hostile. they are having bitch fights every time they are in the same room.

like, fandom likes to pretend that diluc has guilt, bc of like some anonymous message on a public board that sounds like it's diluc feeling bad, which hoyo back-wrote. but they can't gaslight me, i just recently replayed start of the game content on my new account. like first time diluc appears is in kaeya's domain after traveler and kaeya cleared it, and diluc bitches at kaeya for no fucking reason and kaeya is v passive aggressive back at him. they have bitch fight in venti's quest. diluc's entire quest is about him trying to keep kaeya from discovering he's darknight hero and he specifically makes it known that kaeya is unwelcome every time he shows up in the tavern. and he sounds negative when bringing up kaeya for any reason.

and then hoyo started to back-pedal. idk what happened, maybe the direction of the plot shifted. maybe the writer who was writing them in this conflict vein quit. maybe at the start they only had vague idea of like brothers at war with each other, and once they started to flesh it out and add nuance, they've realized that like, burning your baby brothers' eye out might be understandable in the moment of trauma and shock, but then acting like you're on high horse and treating him like garbage for YEARS after is a bit of a psycho behavior.

quick aside bc i know there are ppl who think that, um, kaeya "deserved" it and like. he was what, not older than 10 when he was left at the winery. and he was about 17 when he confessed. he was a traumatized kid who kept a secret bc his bio father told him that the fate of his entire country depends on it. get a grip. but as i said, with the same logic, diluc was also in shock and trauma, and i do not fault him the fight itself. what doesn't track is how diluc acts years LATER, when he had time to think.

so they started to drastically soften diluc AND back-writing retcons. Hidden Strife letters are all about it. They were like oh, brothers were always in contact! Diluc is not a maniac, he was polite to the knights and he told kaeya to take care :) :) :) this creates new set of problems. not only it gives diluc personality split where he was incredibly aggressive to kaeya in person, but apparently normal in the letters. But also, we have letters from Kaeya that make it obvious he knew immediately that diluc is a darknight hero and they both were chill about it. But like! diluc's entire story quest is about him trying to keep kaeya from learning that! like, come on! why then diluc did all these stupid scooby doo shenanigans with slimes and shit???

now i think they are trying to shift responsibility for reconciliation from diluc to kaeya, which is the only issue that affects kaeya's own characterization. bc they are very hard going into "all servants at winery ADORE kaeya and treat him like family and welcome him!!" and fandom like, extends it to diluc now, like diluc is welcoming kaeya too and kaeya is a silly goose who has his hang ups and refuses to visit. as if getting your eye burned off, trying to reach out first and getting "ugh, its you" treatment when you show up at your brother's tavern is just like. a lil awkward situation that kaeya himself should get over without any effort on diluc's side and he should just ~realize~ that he's still part of the family lol. and ppl justify it like "well we don't know how diluc actually feels, he probably feels guilt (anon message) and wants to reconcile". which like. so we don't know, but kaeya is supposed to figure out and reach out AGAIN, when diluc at any time could've just told him that he's welcomed.

and now in kaeya's hangout we learn more about their childhoods which tbh hurts diluc even more. like how are we gonna be pretending that diluc cares about kaeya when he returned to mond and found his baby brother, who was apparently the sweetest gentlest child in the world, his loyal shadow for entire childhood, couldn't lie, was taking punishments for diluc, and see him now becoming a high functioning alcoholic with brazenly unhealthy persona of liar and manipulator, and like NOT get worried and try to reach out. which i don't think it was hoyo's intention, they just wanted to add the tragic sweetie uwu to kaeya's characterization, but they did not think how it reflect on diluc in global context

so now diluc's characterization flip flopped in several directions, and he doesn't really has an arc or plotline going. he's kinda just there now, more of symbol than character, and hoyo just writes whatever they want for him without any regard for any previous lore

[reiteka]

Denial

I don't really do this but since I was forced to get tumblr I figured I may as well put this up here. Just a Human Alastor x Reader type thing. Murder involved, marriage of convenience, female reader, passive? reader (it's mainly Alastor's thoughts so reader doesn't do much in the fic). --- means insert whatever name you want. I haven't proofread this in a long time so expect mistakes. This is 1 of 2 Alastor X Reader fics I've done so let me know if anyone wants the other one (Also never posted on tumblr before and don't know how it works).

...

Alastor didn’t love his wife.

Being best friends since they were young girls, Alastor and ___ mothers had treated one another like sisters, spending all their time together and even giving birth within the same year to their respective children. How ecstatic they were when one had a boy and the other a girl, how darling it would be if the two would conform to the classic romantic trope of developing from childhood friends to star-crossed sweethearts. Fortunately, for their mothers, they did marry but not due to their fondness of each other. Alastor and ___ didn’t love each other, but they didn’t hate each other either. They married to not only make their mothers happy but also out of convenience, to cease the unwanted advances of the opposite sex and to silence the needless prattling of others with their incessant questions or assertions of ‘when are you getting married?’ or ‘still single at your age?’ or the most repulsive of all ‘your biological clock is ticking dear’.

Though they were married, and to the outside world a happy couple, they lived as strangers. They shared one roof but slept in separate beds, in separate rooms, at separate ends of the house. They had dinner together, engaged in conversation about how her day was or how his radio show was faring or about the recent killings and disappearances taking place. And although they generally enjoyed the other’s company, there was an undeniable line that would never be crossed, an unspoken agreement that they would only ever be acquaintances and never entertain the thought of giving into the charade they had concocted to fool their family and friends. Alastor respected such an agreement and in no way did he want it to change.

Alastor didn’t love his wife.

So, when he met the young lad from the bookshop, he didn’t feel anything towards the boy. He didn’t flinch when the blonde’s demeanor brightened like a mutt whose owner had returned home to play with him. He didn’t stiffen at the genuine smile that slipped easily onto his wife’s face when greeting the boy manning the counter, a smile he had spent hours rambling out perfected jokes in an attempt to receive a mere glimpse of, to spy the miniscule curling of her lips, given to him not out of politeness but out of genuine joy.

‘A pleasure to be meeting you my good man! The name is Alastor, yes the one from the radio show. Many thanks for always assisting my lovely wife here in her literary endeavours.’ When he wrapped an arm around her waist and introduced himself, it was because of his duty to fulfill his responsibilities as her husband, not because he enjoyed the look of shock and heartbreak creeping onto the boy’s visage. He took no satisfaction in the way the boy withered under his stare as if shrinking in on himself, both from Alastor’s intimidating aura and his place at the woman’s side.

He didn’t follow his wife around the shop to dissuade the boy from talking to her, he was just interested in finding out what books his wife was currently reading. And yes, his smile did seem rather strained and his eyes quite murderous when the boy happened to glance over in their direction, but it was not an intended hostility, the boy was simply paranoid and misconstrued the polite and friendly stare Alastor was directing at him. He didn’t try and pry information out of his wife later at dinner because he felt threatened in any way, because he didn’t like the way she giggled when the boy made a feeble attempt at an ill-advised pun. He just wanted to know who he was and how often she talked to him and what she thoug̸h̴t̷ ̶o̷f̴ ̸h̸i̵m̴ a̴n̴d̸ ̵i��f̷ ̸s̶h̵e̷ ̵t̵h̷o̵u̸g̸h̶t̵ ̵h̵e̸ ̴w̸a̸s̸ ̸c̸u̸t̷e̴ ̴̞̍͌͝͝ö̸̩́ŗ̵̟̾͐́̂ ̷͉͙͑h̵̛̘̹̬͑͊̔̎̂a̴͉̥̓n̴̝̯̬̿̋͑d̸̲̱̬͎͉̀̋̈̎̆ş̷̺͙̺͗̀̈̃̄ͅo̶̖̮͐̽̐̑̆̍m̴͖͕̼͈͋̓͗̒ḙ̴͂ ̸̣̙̂o̵̳͗͛̆͗̋ṛ̸͉̯͑͗͐ ̵̭̳̭͕͇͑̇f̸̻̺͙̰̐ű̵̧̫͎̜̥̹̈́ṋ̶̮̀n̶̞̞̐̋̈͐͠ỉ̶͔̦̝͎̱̬̋̽̄͐͠ȩ̷̘̫̩͖͂̇r̷͎̤̒͐ ̴̫̯̺̮̄̈́͘̚o̷͖͙͓͗̅͐̂̕̚ṙ̴̻͓̼.̸̡̞̇.̶̦̇̇̃́͑

He was just curious, and his distaste for the boy had nothing to do with the blush that coated his wife’s face when the boy gave her a forlorn goodbye and wished her the most pleasant evening in the world. As if her evening wasn’t already perfect with Alastor by her side!

Alastor didn’t love his wife.

He was just tired of the bakery he frequented when his show ended or when he took one of his infamously rare lunch breaks. It just so happened that the new café that had taken his fancy was coincidently located across from the same bookshop where his wife would make a near-daily trip to with the goal of perusing their rather limited stock. His face never darkened, his smile never turned sinister because of jealousy or some other Neanderthalic emotion when he witnessed their interactions, he simply found it disgraceful how shamelessly the boy acted towards a married woman. He didn’t absolutely loathe the fact that his wife was giving attention to someone other than himself, someone completely undeserving of such an affectionate gaze and her indulgence of idle, mindless chatter. Of course, it wasn't her fault, she had always been oblivious to the advances of others who sought to captivate her with tainted promises of friendship while hiding their heinous desires for more intimate relations. It was his job really, as her husband to remove such scum from her periphery, to exterminate the uncultured and salacious boy that couldn’t understand nor respect the simple fact that should have been glaringly obvious by now: ___ belonged to Alastor.

Alastor didn’t love his wife.

He was simply looking for another meal that catered to his...unique palate. It was pure coincidence that he happened past the bookshop which was known for staying open late into the night. It was a coincidence that the boy happened to be closing up, that Alastor happened to be late in finishing up his show that night and that it just happened that not a soul occupied the usually bustling street. It wasn’t that Alastor wanted to prolong the boy’s suffering. Sure, he may have offered the boy several choices ranging from never talking to his wife again to leaving Louisiana altogether, despite knowing that no matter what option the boy chose Alastor was going to kill him regardless. And he may have let the boy run from him for five minutes before he got bored and knocked him to the ground, even though he could have caught up with him in a manner of mere seconds. And he may have allowed the boy a few curtesy blows before easily and pitifully overpowering him, taking no small amount of pleasure in how the hope that still lingered in the lad’s eyes seemed to diminish with the knowledge that the tall, lanky radio host was deceitfully stronger than he appeared. Yes, he did make the boy’s death as slow as possible, letting him bleed out rather than killing him straight away, mocking him the entire time, ingraining the fact that the boy had brought this fate upon himself for daring to covert what was Alastor’s. And he did inevitably choose to dispose of the body rather than contaminate himself with such an unappetizing individual, making it so that the only ones to see the boy again would be the maggots that made him their home. But it had nothing to do with ___.

With a lighter step, a jauntily whistled tune, and the sequel to his wife’s favourite novel tucked under his arm, Alastor made his way home, thoughts of how he could convince his wife to let him purchase her books so that she needn’t bother herself with leaving the house at the forefront of his mind.

Alastor didn’t love his wife...

But that didn’t mean someone else was allowed to love her either.

[somerandomcockroach]

Okay I really felt like exploding mentally not in a good way so putted it out in random little written scenes (bullshitting with canon and fanon because canon is fanon). Prowl and Jazz as main acting characters yesss because apparently I love these boys

_________Intercity training competition_________

The whole audition was so loud with noises despite everyone trying to whisper as quiet as possible. First time in all intercity training competition history, where chosen young mechs from everywhere in Cybertron gather together to find better rising generation of sparks, the bot won all his sparring partners in a row without losing once. Gunrunner with satisfied smile wrote down statistics about this battle. “Mistakes took place, but you give big perspectives with your agility and unpredictability.” Gunrunner already had plans on this rookie once ops group starts running.

Jazz, visibly grasping at air with ventilation at full speed, was smiling in such bright manner, showing his sparking optics behind protective glass. His smile, his reflections from black coating, his figure, still going up and down after all the battles he had – everything in him was so irresistibly refreshing and attractive. This young bot made the audience start whispering again, but on absolutely different topic this time. He still was standing over his opponent, other one was looking at him from bottom to top breathing as deep as other one, leaning on the elbow folds. Young mechs had no hard feelings against each other, everything around them was steaming with happiness over a good battle. Jazz offered his hand and helped him stand up.  

“Ya’r very brave to challenge me last but ya fought good, brotha’. Your name?” They shacked hands as a sigh of a friendly and fair battle. “Guzzle. Better to fight and lose than to never fight at all” “Oh, we’r so gonna have a drink at the end of the event!” Jazz squeezed his hand so tightly and laughed so sincerely happy. They walked out of ring shoulder to shoulder. The white and black mech with pointy red chevron, the only thing showing him off the crowd so vividly, was observing all the battles from the balcony. He still couldn’t calm down his spark after what he saw, it was such an incredible and new way of martial arts for him: wild, unpredictable, dexterous, fast and oppressive. Absolute opposite of the clear and refined, gentle manner of his hometown. He couldn't hold back his smile throughout all 10 sparring sessions, periodically jerking his shoulders in surprise, sometimes looking as if into space, trying to calculate something in his head. His brother, clearly shorter than him, tapped at his hand. Only this was able to get older brother out of entrancement he was in. “Brother, calculation simulations will begin soon” ‘Right,’ he answered with only kind look of his eyes. ‘Now my turn.’

______My priority of orders starts from J_______

“Prowl, you are not allowed to go out! You stay here! It’s an order!” Prowl’s door wings rose up in in a threatening and irritated manner. He quickly turned his head, narrowing his optics. Sharp, cold blue, freezing. Yet his lips were treacherously clanging. “You are not my commander to give me commands” “Oh, no! I have an order to keep you safe! Order from Optimus Prime itself! Do you not understand how worthy your skills are? You are not allowed to get out of here until it becomes safe, why do you even try to get out of here?” The blue light was getting darker and closer to the security bot who happened to be so unlucky to be the closest to Prowl to get this order. Red chevron towered over this hesitant mech, his knees bent under the pressure of this unbending figure. It was the first time in all his time working here, when he was truly afraid of the tactician. “I was working hand to hand with “Optimus itself” when he was just an officer,” Prowl pressed his finger into the center of the bumper with enough strength to make bot step back. “and I dare you have no right to stand on my way nor Optimus’ orders. Contact him and say that I’ve lost touch with ops, you won’t be dismissed with this explan-“ The loud crash of a broken door was heard behind interrupting him mid-sentence, Prowl stood up and lowered his wings to cover trembling mech in front of him. “Prowl, jump on, I caught signal of Jazz’s location”, there was Silverbolt straight to the help and old Orion’s group protecting main operating station alongside with other autobots. Prowl gave him a pleased smirk, his optics immediately softened (to the relief of security bot), not even thinking much he ran and jumped on top of the aerial, “long time no see, old timer. All unnecessary chatting on our way.”

[ladyantiheroine]

Rewatching Batman and Batman Returns back-to-back and it's just reminding me why I like Selina as a love interest better than Vicki.

I mean, anyone who follows me already knows I'm a batcat fan, and I don't find Vicki that compelling outside of the TellTale Games version of her. But even beyond my own preferences, Selina is just a better match for Bruce in the Burtonverse overall.

The problem with Vicki is that she's so distant from Bruce's world. Just as Bruce explains in Batman Returns, she couldn't reconcile the two parts of him; Bruce Wayne and Batman. She had "difficulty with his duality," to paraphrase Selina. Part of it is Bruce's unwillingness to open up to another person, but I never got the vibe that Vicki liked Bruce being Batman. When she discovers his identity, she says to him, "I've loved you since I met you, but I don't know what to think of all this." It seemed like she wanted him to just be a normal guy, which of course, he can't be. Even at the end of the movie, she seems to accept Bruce as Batman begrudgingly, as something to tolerate rather than understand.

(At the end of the movie, Alfred tells her that Bruce will be "a little bit late" and she responds with "I'm not a bit surprised." It's meant to be a cute jab, but to me it just seems like she's passively accepted that Bruce's alter ego will always take precedent over her, and that's not very romantic to me)

On top of that, their date scenes are kind of bland, they don't really get to know each other that well, and they don't seem to have much in common. Overall, Vicki is written like a stock love interest, a damsel in distress to scream until Batman saves her. There's not much glue keeping them together.

But Selina on the other hand? She knows what it's like to have a darker alter ago. She knows what it's like to be traumatized and hurt by the criminals of Gotham (Max Shrek and Penguin). She knows what it's like to be a freak. Bruce himself says so in their movie: they're the same, "split down the center." When she finds out Bruce is Batman, she's upset not because she can't reconcile the two halves of him (like Vicki) but because it puts them on opposite sides of the law ("Does this mean we have to start fighting?"). They are perfectly matched but kept apart by outside forces and conflicting priorities, rather than other than lack of communication and compatibility.

On top of that, Bruce and Selina have way more chemistry (bolstered by Keaton and Pfeiffer's performances). On their date, they talk deeply to each other, about their pasts and their desires. They seem to innately connect in a way I never felt with Vicki, who seems to beg Bruce to be normal while he seems borderline bored with her half the time. With Vicki, it's like he's acting out a script. With Selina, it's an organic spark.

Of course, Selina does end up leaving at the end of their story, because she's been pinned down by men for too long and needs to go off on her own. Unlike Vicki, she's not built for the normal "fairy tale castle" life. And because he loves her, Bruce follows the old truth that if you love someone, set them free.

But despite this ending, I buy the tragic love story of Bruce and Selina more than the straightforward Hollywood ending of Bruce and Vicki. The former felt like soulmates torn apart by circumstances, the latter felt like two people who were never going to work in the first place because they weren't compatible.

If you ask me, Vicki was just a stepping stone for Bruce on his way to Selina. She taught him a lesson: He needs someone who will understand him fully and join him in the night, not simply wait for him to return and act "normal" again.

The big difference is this: When the bat signal hits the sky, Vicki is going to stand back and worry.

But Selina Kyle? She's going to grab her whip and join Batman on the battle field by his side.

And at the end of the day, I'd much rather see a badass power couple working together as a team rather than a worried wife sitting at home while her husband goes off and saves the day.

[noperopesaredope]

The point on the clones and the Jedi is one I'm delighted to hear someone repeat since I thought I was alone in that sentiment. Honestly, while working on the AU, I realized it would make more sense if the clones took more elements from JEDI culture, since not only would they have been exposed to that far more, but they clearly have a very deep respect for the Jedi. Throughout canon, we see the clones admire the Jedi a lot, with many being deeply loyal to their Jedi generals. The Jedi also influence the clones' perspectives on themselves and life, encouraging them to be themselves and find a sense of individuality. If the clones were to look to anyone as an example, it would be the Jedi, and thus, they would take after them in a lot of ways.

I even have a whole thing I wrote out on how, while the Jedi believe in no attachments, the clones tend to act on this philosophy to the fullest extent even without realizing it. I saw another person make a post clearing up some misconceptions on that philosophy, explaining it through the lens of Buddhism, and how "no attachments" is different from "no connections."

I noticed that the clones move on very quickly from death (which is likely partially due to their mental health stuff but that's another topic-), but also seem to have incredibly deep bonds with each other due to their inherent connection via being literal clones. They share these deep emotional attachments, but when one dies, they grieve very briefly, then move forward because they understand they have a mission to complete and war to win. They hold deep bonds, but do not stay attached and are able to let go.

This is just one example of how the clones would take after Jedi culture, though I have a lot of thoughts on the subject and am working on a whole section in my writeout for the AU.

As a whole, I think that even if they took some of the more artificial elements of Mando culture, the clones would have very different philosophical/cultural beliefs and values. Even if they didn't take after Jedi, they very much have their own thing going on. For example, while found family/adoptive family is apparently a big thing in Mando culture, I have been working on a whole explanation on how that would be basically the opposite for the clones.

I think most of the similarities they would have with Mando culture is less due heritage and more due to them both having militaristic elements (though even those elements would be different). So while I find them taking bits and pieces of Mando culture (just little pieces, like certain words (not the whole language)) could be cool, they have such a different experience as a people and as a SPECIES (the clones are lowkey their own species at this point) that they would end up not having that much in common with Mando culture outside of artificial similarities that might not even be that meaningful to them.

Meanwhile, the Jedi have a much deeper influence on the clones, and I wish we saw more headcanons on how the clones would take after Jedi culture.

(Also, small sidenote on the food thing, but one of my favorite things to headcanon is that, if they made their own society, the clones would not know what they are doing in regards to food because they have spent most of their lives eating rations. Thus, I assumed they would make food concepts from hell because they are excited to eat anything with even a hint of flavor. However, the idea that they would have 0 tolerance to spiciness is even funnier to me, so them creating the blandest food imaginable is another good option for Clone Cuisine™)

I've decided that Rex is the one who paints Kanan's eye mask with his bird of prey design.

Kanan's feeling pretty low still just after Malachor, he's still distancing himself from everybody, and Rex decides to go try to talk to him at one point and the first thing he comes up with to say is to point out that his new mask is pretty plain. It's awkward, he regrets it immediately, but then Kanan says that it gets the job done and Rex is abruptly reminded of himself so so long ago back at the beginning of the war.

He sits Kanan down and tells him a story about how, at the beginning of the war, only a few of the clones had paint on their armor, to designate things like rank and battalion in order to make it easier for officers to find them in the middle of a busy battlefield. The paint was practical and it was limited to a very select few. But the Jedi almost immediately started trying to encourage the clones to utilize the paint less sparingly, suggesting that maybe everybody could wear at least a LITTLE paint and use more individualized designs so that it was still easy to tell the commanders and captains apart from the others when needed.

Some of the clones had taken to it with gusto, but others had been more hesitant, and Rex remembers having been one of them. He remembers telling Obi-Wan that there was no real REASON to paint everyone's armor and especially not to come up with personal designs. The armor was practical and it served its purpose with or without the paint and special designs. But the Jedi had insisted on at least TRYING to come up with his own design and if he didn't like it, he could always take it off, so Rex had given in and chosen something to paint on the armor. And, somehow, it felt a little lighter the next time he put it on. It didn't erase the horrors of war or the pain of loss or anything like that, but it helped.

He tells Kanan that the mask right now is just a reminder of the pain of the injury and whatever other feelings he's still got all caught up in the Malachor mission (guilt over what happened with Ezra, grief over Ahsoka's loss). But if he puts his own design on it, it might turn the mask into something other than a constant reminder of something bad. Instead, it's a reminder of who he is, the combination of the person he once was and who he's become. He is more than just his injury or this mission and he can use the mask to declare that if he wants to.

Kanan says he never realized Rex and the other clones had cared so deeply about their armor and Rex says that the armor itself was meaningless. It's better than what's being handed out to stormtroopers, but not but a LOT. It was the design on it that had meant something and, more than that, it was what the design REPRESENTED: having a choice about how you were perceived by others.

Kanan asks why Rex had chosen his particular designs, the bird of prey eyes on his helmet in particular. Rex explains that he chose it because he liked birds and thought it looked cool, but he's kept the helmet for as long as he has because it's come to mean something ELSE now. It's not just a cool-looking design, it's a reminder of a better time in his life. It's a reminder of when he'd been a part of something greater than himself, with the other clones and the Jedi. It's a reminder of a time when he'd had hope that he and his people could one day come out the other side of this war towards a brighter future.

Kanan looks at the mask he'd grabbed from storage somewhere or something just to keep light from hurting his eyes as they recovered and to cover up the injury from other people's stares (even if he couldn't see them staring), then hands it to Rex and asks if Rex minds sharing that symbol because he'd like a reminder of that, too. Rex remembers the 332nd and their helmets that they'd painted to look like their chosen Jedi, almost blindly giving away their individuality in favor of that loyalty that had been stripped from them anyway. And then he looks at Kanan, choosing to make himself look LIKE REX, someone who had shared his face with millions once, because he wants to honor both the connections he'd lost as well as this new connection the two of them have built together now. And Rex says he'd be happy to share.

[leather-field]

three healers

[unopenablebox]

attempt to idly discuss concept of custom wedding vows with 🌸 ground to a halt after the realization that neither of us actually, like, wants to try to figure out what the fuck we'd be promising

can you do custom vows, but instead of vows to do stuff, it's just a list of the superbly good qualities of the other person in order to make it clear why any rational actor would agree that you should obviously plan to keep hanging out with them as long as possible

[thelostgirl21]

You are very welcome.

And while they are extremely well meaning, I read some of the comments in the replies, and I would say to be careful with some over-generalizations.

For example, saying "stay away from apps, it's better to..."

If you go on an app to meet people, there's bound to be other people potentially compatible with you that are going on apps to meet people, too.

Apps can be overwhelming because, just like in "real life" (a.k.a. life offline), they are filled with tons of different and sometimes weird (not the good kind) people.

But there are also gems in there, including introverted people for whom socialization or "naturally making contact with a seemingly nice and interesting looking stranger on the street" doesn't come easy.

And, while I do know people that found the "great love of their lives"™ through a friend of a friend, such situations can sometimes get messy.

Because when you get introduced to one of your friend's friends, that friend can kind of (without any malice on their part) put some pressure on you two to make it work, because they already "ship you two together".

In a context where you have a fear of rejection, you might consciously or subconsciously fear to disappoint or insult your friend should you not be compatible with the one they introduced you to, and try too hard to make it work to "please that friend", even if there are some things bothering you or little red flags trying to draw your attention.

Your friend might often keep asking you "so, how did it go?", while being all excited, and getting overinvolved, forcing you to put up some solid boundaries.

Not to mention that if you bring some of the red flags you've noticed to their attention, they could have the reflex of minimizing / justifying their friend's more worrying behavior, given how positively they perceive them.

So, if telling a close friends to politely mind their own business because it's confusing you doesn't come easy for you, it can become an added challenge on top of already attempting to navigate the beginnings of a relationship.

And those aren't necessarily things people will think to tell you.

Hence why I say that, when people tell you "avoid this or that context for meeting someone", know that there's almost always some type of bias involved.

You'll have people telling you that the best and most enduring types of relationships are those that start with being friends with someone first, because that's what ended up working for them.

But if you ever experience a strong mutual crush that swoops you off your feet, it could work just as well!

What will make it work, ultimately, is how you both take it from there and your ability (yes it's a huge cliché, I know, but it's still true) to learn to communicate needs and wants clearly, and become teammates dedicated to making each other feel safer and stronger together as you would on your own.

Your willingness to pool resources together and use each other's strengths to compensate for areas where your partner struggles more is a much bigger indicator of a relationship's potential success than how, where and when you met.

For example, my partner struggles putting words on emotions and gets easily overwhelmed by them when they get too strong.

I'm the opposite. I can clearly name and identify exactly what I feel, how it affects and influences me in the now, and put it aside to deal with it later if need be.

So, when there's conflict, I've learned that once I've made my case, I must give my partner room and space for him to retreat, think about my arguments more rationally, and then return when he feels more level headed. Otherwise, I'll push him into a corner where he'll start panicking, and use my own strengths against him.

We keep telling people that communication in relationships is key, but seldom take the time to explain the why and/or the how.

The truth is that humans are huge posers that like to project certain images or make things look easier than they are. We have egos, we seek approval, we try to look good in front of others. Couples will want to project the image of the perfect team.

It doesn't show you the amount of work, nurturing and care that goes into those relationships to make it work.

It doesn't teach you that you'll need to "learn how to fight"... but fight FAIR while aiming for win-win resolutions to conflicts.

It doesn't tell you that "good communication" involves establishing your own communication style and rules together as well.

Hollywood and the people around you are selling you a dream often without showing you all that is happening behind the scenes to make those relationships work. And, while there are some helpful guidelines, there's no "one size fits all".

And if you discover people's romantic expectations don't suit you, there are plenty of ways to experience relationships that don't need to fit neat little boxes.

Off the top of my head, I would say those would be some of the most important questions to ask yourself when you're wondering if the relationship could work and/or if it's working:

Does this person make me feel safe in the relationship,

Do I feel like I can trust them, or like I could learn to trust them as we continue getting to know each other better,

How do they respond to me when I expose my own vulnerabilities and insecurities to them (are they supportive and attempting to make themselves appear less intimidating, or are they mocking and attempting to make me feel smaller / defective),

Are they attempting to better understand me and learn to use communication styles that we'll both be comfortable using and clearly understand,

Are our respective needs and wants compatible and giving birth to mutual goals we can both work towards,

Do we make each other stronger and share a similar level of commitment to making the relationship work,

Does it enhance my level of happiness and sense of personal fulfillment in a way that makes me feel like the efforts and time I am investing in the other person are worth it?

And get ready for things potentially "not working out" despite the strong love, mutual understanding, or the amazing communication skills sometimes!

You might discover that you are extremely compatible as people, but that your life goals and objectives do not align. And you may realize you make better close trusted friends than romantic or even queerplatonic partners.

"Rejecting the partnership because you can't work together towards a mutual goal" does not have to mean "rejecting the person themselves".

And yes, you can absolutely stay close friends with an "ex" depending on the reasons that lead you to "break up".

When there's no abuse involved, and it's mostly a question of incompatible goals / lifestyles, there's no reason why you should cast each other from your respective lives.

So, I guess the big takeaway from this is that human partnerships are very complex dynamics that require a lot of time and effort to build and make work. But if you do find a good partner for you (or good partners, as polyamory is also a thing), they can offer you some added sense of safety, understanding, happiness and strength in your life.

Dating thoughts: I envy all the people who met someone for one or two times and already tell everyone: they are the love of my life.“

Of course this is most often not the reality but I wish I could have this confidence, instead I struggle with a lot of aspects

For example many of my female friends told me it is totally normal that some people do not want to hold hands etc in public before a relationship is not official. But I think it is kinda frustrating not to steal a touch here and there.

Never being in a relationship ever before gives me - on the one hand - the freedom to not care about all the bullshit rules people apparently have made up, but - on the other hand - lets me struggle a lot because I do not understand all the rules and immediately interpret it as an rejection

But how to address that without coming off as clingy and hysterical? I don’t think that’s possible.

So I just sit here and wonder.

[akkivee]

ichiro threw gales of wind and kuukou had all this water falling imagery attached to him in the rap mv, oh they know they were cooking