#or when he pumps his fist at Karlach

[flymmsy]

The only Franc-take I just can’t agree with is that the “slithering, wet malice” letters were too dramatic and out of character.

Did we…did we not all get the same cutscene in act 2 where Gortash immediately pretends to salute, happily claps his hands together, and waves his little wrist at Ketheric like a Drama Queen?

Did we not all see the same thing? Man is FLAMBOYANT as hell.

[hijackalx]

BG3 CHARACTERS REACTING TO BEING CALLED DADDY/MOMMY +18

characters included: karlach, astarion, halsin, gale, gortash

KARLACH

LOVES being called mama/mommy. probably suggests that you call her that before you can even bring it up

kind of plays into the caregiver role but only to an extent. it definitely feels like a character she shifts into. plays it VERY good though

usually something she reserves just for sex. if she calls herself mommy otherwise it’s probably in a nonsexual, playful manner (unless she’s teasing, which will be VERY obvious)

on the other hand…. if you call her mommy outside of sex….. she will be acting accordingly (your hole is getting obliterated promptly)

really, REALLY sweet when she goes into mommy mode ���� like i don’t think could be a hard dom mommy if she tried. the two just don’t mix for her. consists of lots of praise and kisses and cooing

ASTARION

i’m sure he’s heard it before, but it’s different coming from you. he’s definitely taken aback at first. has to think about how he feels about it LMAO

makes him feel old af 😹😹 but he’s lowkey a sucker for an age gap dynamic so he has mixed feelings

eventually accepts how hot it is. once he sees you falling apart beneath him whimpering “daddy, daddy, daddy—“ his soul is SNATCHED !!!!!!!

loves to refer to himself as daddy to see your reaction— SO obsessed with the effect it has on you. he thinks it’s so sweet. will also use it to get you to do what he wants (using his powers for evil fr)

honestly wouldn’t have thought to introduce it to your relationship but he’s literally a natural. he already has the patronizing soft dom thing down so it flows pretty easily 😹💗

GORTASH

THE DADDY OF ALL TIME. DO NOT EVEN SPEAK TO HIM IF YOU AREN’T GOING TO BEGIN AND END EVERY SENTENCE WITH “DADDY”

refers to himself as daddy CONSTANTLY. will also do it outside of sex. literally a cringe discord daddy dom. but like. sexy. (will call you kitten)

HARD and MEAN daddy dom. can occasionally be sweet with it during aftercare though— “daddy’s so proud of you”

hearing you call him daddy makes him sooo weak. you can honestly get him to do anything for you if you whine “daddy” in a needy enough tone 😈 bonus points if you call him daddy in public. 100% wants everyone to know that you call him that

also super into the sugar daddy thing. loves to shower you in gifts and money. definitely a prominent dynamic in your relationship

GALE

legit stops him in his tracks. he’s like a deer in headlights. has no idea how to react LMAO

never considered himself daddy material before. he’s excited that you do though (he’s pumping his fist in the air and whispering “yesss” 😹😹) it’s a huge compliment for him

kind of awkward using it during sex at the beginning, he just doesn’t want to sound weird or anything. but if you encourage him he gets more confident with it and it’s so, so good

has such a good personality for it in terms of attentiveness/caring for you. plays daddy extremely well but he’d never admit it (still doesn’t believe he’s daddy material 😹)

gets SO flustered if you call him daddy in front of other people. even though he thinks it’s super hot he’d prefer for it to stay your little secret— it’s kind of sexier that way anyway

HALSIN

the most normal about being called daddy. doesn’t think it’s some huge deal or anything— he’s heard it before and it doesn’t phase him

integrates it into your sex life really smoothly (and into your everyday life if you want that). doesn’t care at all if people overhear and lowkey can embarrass you with how much he will readily refer to himself as that in public 😹😹 if you wanted him to wear a badge that said “[name]’s daddy” he would LMAO

always coming up with ways to get you to say it during sex, usually offering some kind of reward for it if you catch my drift 😼

the best at the caregiver role. does it so casually and it seems very normal for him. has such a good, soothing tone of voice for it too

the only downside is that it almost feels like he’s not as into it as you are. i mean he is but he’s so lax about it because he’s just like “kink is normal who cares !!” but like damn a little enthusiasm PLEASE

[weaveandwood]

Midnight at the Elfsong

Pairing: Gale x Female Tav Words: 3.6K, NSFW Summary: After arriving at the Elfsong Tavern a few nights ago, Gale and Tav spend the night drinking with their friends and reconnect after facing the realities of their new sleeping situation. AN: Here is the Community Choice Smut One-Shot you all voted for to help me celebrate 300 followers! I hope you like it - I really am pleased with the options that won my poll! Winning Prompts: A whispered "please" slipping out of kiss-bitten lips & Held back noises because they don't want anyone else hearing them

comments and reblogs are very appreciated!

Warnings: NSFW (fingering, vaginal sex)

Midnight was a magical time when one was drinking. It was late enough that everyone was in high spirits, yet not so late as to really regret anything the next day. Tav’s new favorite way of passing any evening she wasn’t utterly exhausted was with all of her friends sitting around a large table at the Elfsong Tavern while wine flowed from the bar. Taking a long swig from her cup, she felt a hand brush along the outside of her leather clad thigh before resting on it, halfway between her knee and her hip. She smiled into her cup, glancing at the handsome wizard seated next to her. Of all the times to find love, it never crossed her mind that an abduction by mindflayers would lead her to someone like Gale of Wat- no, Gale Dekarios, as she had learned a couple of days ago on the rooftop in Rivington. She rolled it around in her mind. Dekarios. She meant what she had told him as he pleaded with her to keep it secret - she liked Gale Dekarios better than Gale of Waterdeep.

“Have I ever told you how much I love the leather pants you favor?” his warm voice said softly in her ear, sending a tingle through her body that settled deep in her abdomen. She sat her drink down and turned to face him while the rest of the group was watching an arm wrestling match between Wyll and Halsin. She thought she saw Astarion taking bets in her periphery.

“Only every morning. And every night, before you take them off of me,” she smiled wickedly. She knew from the look in his eyes that he was in a certain kind of mood this evening. She didn’t blame him - she was as well. Staying at the Elfsong, while nice, was also…tricky. They were staying in a large communal room with no privacy at all. She never thought she would miss a tent, but after two nights spent alone…she missed her tent. She missed her bedroll. She missed Gale’s weight on top of her. 

She felt his fingertips slide higher up her thigh, the one thing on his mind now the only thing on hers. Cheers erupted as Halsin bested Wyll, his fists above his head pumping in celebration. A small line of would-be contenders for the arm wrestling champion began to form, each hoping for their chance to take on and beat the ridiculously muscled elf. Gale and Tav clapped and cheered as a defeated but laughing Wyll walked over with his head hung low, Karlach following closely behind.

“I must say, Wyll, you lasted much longer than I would have,” Gale said, pouring some of the nearest bottle of wine into Wyll’s cup before raising his own. “A toast to the Blade of Frontiers, for inspiring the competitions we are all about to witness,” he said, motioning with his eyes to the person currently straining red-faced against Halsin.

Tav leaned in while everyone was sipping their wine after the toast. “I certainly have no complaints about how long you last,” she whispered, smiling to herself when he choked a little on his wine before straightening back up in her chair and refilling her cup with the remains of a bottle. 

The night passed, wine flowing from bottle to cup to mouth, laughter filling the main room of the Elfsong. Gale’s fingers had traversed nearly every inch of Tav’s thigh and were currently snaking under her shirt, toying with her soft skin around the waistband of those leather pants he loved so much. Tracing featherlight circles on her spine. Making her body feel like a coil ready to snap. If she could, she would clear off the table and ride him into oblivion right then and there. 

She reached over, her fingertips brushing his thigh through his pants - a sturdy canvas that fit him well. She made sure to tease him in exactly the same way as he did earlier, slowly moving her hand closer and closer to his hips. She could not resist the temptation to brush across where she could feel the fabric starting to strain against him, his sharp intake of breath indicating her teasing was working. It pleased her to know that her touch had that effect. That it wasn’t just her who felt like she was on fire. He reached across her, his arm brushing against her breasts as he grabbed a bottle of wine before filling both their cups, the small hint of contact causing her to gasp softly.

He looked at her from the corners of his eyes while sipping from his wine, his fingers resuming their lazy journey across her lower body from their previous location on her back. They traced a slow, agonizing path around her, using the waistband of her suddenly too-tight leather pants as a guide. Goosebumps trailed across her soft, sensitive skin in the wake of his touch. She was intently focused on each sensation - the prickling of her skin, the heat of his fingers, the din of the Elfsong becoming muted as her heart pounded in her ears. Everything was amplified, everything was beginning to become too much.

Karlach leaned across the table and began a conversation with Gale, though from the way he applied slightly more pressure as he reached the fastenings of her pants, Tav never would have guessed his thoughts were doing anything other than figuring out ways to make her feel like she would be set ablaze. She took another drink - how many bottles had they gone through this evening? Not that it mattered - every day they ambled back into camp was worthy of celebration. Another battle survived, another day won. Her thoughts came back to the present when his fingers began their slow descent down the front seam of her pants over her lower stomach. She looked at him out of her corner of her eyes, but he was fully engaged in conversation. She felt his hand reach the meeting of her thighs, and her breath caught in her throat while her legs parted slightly for him in her chair. Thank the gods there wasn’t a chair next to her, she thought while feeling his fingers touching her through the thin leather. Surely her cheeks were going pink by now, but she would easily be able to blame that on the wine. 

She closed her eyes as she took another sip. Nothing existed outside of the feeling of his hand now resting between her thighs, his middle finger pressing against her in a smooth, slow motion. Her breathing slowed and she willed herself to maintain her composure, no matter how much she wanted to rip her pants off and make him kneel before her and use that practiced tongue he bragged about so often. Cheers sounded out again around them - Wyll was going back for a rematch and Karlach left to be his moral support and coach. They were alone again. She smiled to herself and leaned over. 

“Having fun tormenting me?” She teased, placing a gentle kiss on the side of his neck, her hand moving back to his lap where his pants now strained even further. She wasn’t sure how much more they could take. How much more she could take. 

“I always delight in making you feel good, my love,” he said in that smooth way of his, the devilish look in his eyes betraying the innocence and sincerity of his words. She felt him twitch beneath her hand. It would be so easy to tease him, to torment him the same way he was delighting in tormenting her…but it had been two days, and she needed him inside her. Desperately. 

“I’m going to the room. It looks like everyone is going to be occupied here for some time, and I’d like to get these pants off,” she whispered into his ear, feeling him still as she nipped at his earlobe lightly, hoping her message got across. Follow me, while we have it to ourselves. He made eye contact with her and nodded. He placed two fingers on top of her hand. Two minutes then. Plenty of time to make it look like they weren’t leaving together just to go defile their new campsite.

She kissed his cheek and stood up, saying goodnight to no one in particular as she made her way through the crowd and up the staircase to their room on the top floor of the Elfsong, the sound of lively music and cheering following her. She could feel his eyes on her back, burning through her as she walked. 

The door to their room creaked softly as she opened it, the vast space lit only by the dim moonlight coming from one side of the sleeping space. She padded over to her area of the room, the most communal of all the spaces with no semblance of privacy - just four beds against the walls. More beds were scattered in the other sections of the room with a sitting area in the center. Who would ever need a room this large? She sat on her bed, testing the angle. The door was difficult to see from where she was - at least if someone came in unexpectedly, they wouldn’t be immediately exposed.

Tav quickly stripped out of her clothing, not wanting to waste a second of their precious time alone. It lay in a heap on the floor - out of the way and carelessly discarded as she made herself comfortable and waited. Not long after she found herself settled on the bed, the door to their room creaked slowly open, the warm light of the hallway flooding the entry of the room briefly before it shut, the faintest silvered glow coming in through the windows across the room now the only light once more. The floor creaked softly as  Gale made his way to her. A delighted smile grew on his face once his eyes adjusted to the almost darkness and he saw her waiting for him, completely naked. 

“Gods, Tav,” he whispered, climbing on to the bed beside her. “I will never get used to the sight of you before me.” He kissed her deeply, roughly, their lips immediately parting and their tongues sliding against each other, while hands grasped at each other like they hadn’t touched in months. “I have been wanting to do that all night,” he smiled before kissing her again, his fingers trailing up her thighs as they had all night. With no leather to act as a buffer, Tav’s skin blazed in their path as if he was branding her with his touch. Her body could only be his, she wanted it to only be his. His fingers continued the path they traveled down in the tavern, quickly finding her center and parting it to find her already slick with want for him. He kissed her neck, moaning against her skin as he easily slid two fingers into her, needing to feel her around him. 

“Please,” she moaned softly, the sound slipping through her kiss-bitten lips. “I need you, Gale,” she whispered, pulling his shirt from his tight trousers so she could put her hands on his skin, warm from drink and arousal. Her hips rocked as his fingers slid in and out, curling against the sensitive spot inside of her. Gods, he knew just how to touch her to drive her wild. 

Abruptly, he pulled his hand out of her, bringing the two fingers to his mouth as he licked them clean. “It is a travesty I won’t be able to taste you fully tonight. I long to have your legs slung over my shoulders and my face buried between your thighs.” He gave her a wicked grin and he quickly pulled off his shirt, tossing it on the heap of discarded clothing before unfastening his trousers and pulling them off along with his underwear in a motion so smooth and quick, Tav was mildly convinced he used magic. 

Tav took a moment to appreciate him - his lean athletic build, his muscular thighs, his perfect forearms, the fine dusting of hair that covered his chest and led down his stomach to one of her favorite body parts. Pulling him out of that portal was the best thing that had ever happened to her. Since that night beneath the stars a tenday ago in the Shadow Cursed Lands, she had never known such pleasure though she had been with plenty of others in the time before the tadpole. That was how her life was divided now - before and after the tadpole, and looking at Gale, resplendent and naked before her, she wouldn’t change a thing.

“You are a work of art,” she smiled before grabbing his arm, pulling him on top of her. She could feel how hard he was as he brushed against her thigh, leaving a small drop of moisture on her. He was as turned on as she was. Good, she thought. “Now, Gale Dekarios,” she emphasized the Dekarios, “would you please fuck me until I see stars?” 

He laughed and kissed her deeply, using his thigh to push her legs further apart so he could settle between them more comfortably. His tip brushed against her, and grabbing the base, he parted her just as he did moments ago, sliding up and down from her entrance to her clit and teasing her as he loved to do, “My love, when you put it like that, how can I resist?” he said before pressing into her just enough for her to close her eyes and moan loudly. He looked down, watching himself enter her fully. Her warm tightness wrapped around him and she fit him like a glove. There would never be a better feeling than this, even the Weave itself could not compare to the magic between Tav’s hips. He pulled back out, leaving in just the tip, admiring the way his length glistened with her wetness. Knowing he affected her that way, that she wanted his body as much as he wanted hers…that more than that, she wanted his love, his soul, his mind - it drove him crazy. He couldn’t hold back. He drove into her, their bodies hitting as he fully seated himself inside her. He repeated. In, out, in, out. His gaze was drawn to her breasts as they bounced with each thrust, those lovely breasts he loved to knead and suck. His eyes moved to her face, her eyes closed and head thrown back in absolute pleasure. He sped up. He wanted so many things - wanted to take her roughly tonight, wanted to make up for wasted nights spent in solitude, wanted to hear her scream his name so all the Elfsong could hear. She panted and writhed underneath him, her nails digging into his thighs and marking him with little half moons. 

“Please…Gale…more…I nee-”

Warm light flooded the room again as the door opened, the sound of drunken companions stumbling in. 

“Shit,” she whispered while Gale summoned a sheet to quickly cover them entirely as he leaned down and laid on top of her. They both stifled giggles at the ridiculousness of the situation. 

“Do you want me to…?” Gale asked, starting to pull out of her. She grabbed his arm tightly. 

“Don’t you dare. Finish what you started, wizard,” she whispered before kissing him deeply, pulling away slowly to minimize any noise. “We will just have to be quiet,” she smiled against his mouth. Luckily no one would be using this area beside her tonight. The area of the room was also where Dame Aylin and Isolbel usually stayed, though they were not here tonight. Probably doing the same thing Tav and Gale were. Good for them, she thought to herself before her focus was pulled back to her current situation. Gale had pulled out of her and was turning her so she was on her side, facing the outside of the bed while he pressed against her back. He reached down, lifting one of her legs, balancing it on top of his before guiding himself slowly back into her. 

His body was so warm and it felt like he was everywhere. His chest was pressed to her shoulder blades, one arm was wrapped around her, just under her breasts, and the other grasped her thigh tightly to keep it in place as he moved in and out of her once again - slower, less frantic. His hips rolled against her, and he let out the softest moan into her ear. This was even hotter than being taken roughly. Their friends were half a room away and here she was, feeling the highest bliss imaginable. He adjusted his arm, grabbing one of her breasts. His fingers kneaded the soft flesh and pinched her hard nipple. Tav had to bite her lip to keep from moaning out loud - he knew how much she liked that. She could sense his playful smile against her skin as he kissed her shoulder. 

“I can’t resist,” he whispered, pinching her other nipple and kneading her other breast while keeping his steady pace, making her bite her lip again to keep silent. The hand that once held her thigh was now gripping her hips, pulling her back against him with each slow, steady roll of his own hips - he wanted to get even deeper inside her, as if that were possible. 

“Gods,” Tav whispered, finding it nearly impossible to keep quiet - she was overloaded with sensation. She felt his hand move from her breast down the center line of her stomach, further and further until he reached her clit, circling it lightly. She jerked roughly back against him and clasped a hand against her mouth, turning her head into the pillow. She wouldn’t be able to keep it in much longer. Her free hand clasped around the wrist on her hips, using it as leverage to grind back against him as those wonderful, magical fingers rubbed her in time to his thrusts. Her body flowed against him and she was molten, lava filling her veins. The sheet trapped their body heat, a thin layer of sweat now coating both their bodies. She felt herself starting to lose composure, her hips moving quicker as the fire in her veins settled low in her abdomen where the two of them were joined. Soft pants were the only noise filling the space surrounding them.

“Come for me, Tav,” he whispered, so soft she almost couldn’t make it out. He knew she was close, he could feel how tight she was getting around him. He pressed against her clit a little harder, his fingers bringing her closer and closer to the edge. She felt every inch of him slide in and out of her, a perfect fit. 

“Gale…I don’t..I don’t know if I can keep quiet,” she whispered, desperation in her words as she got closer and closer. 

“This is what you wanted,” he whispered, his hot breath warming her ear and the side of her neck before he kissed it in that spot she loved and continued rubbing her clit, fucking her slowly, deliberately, deeply…so deeply. Gale knew she was normally loud when she came, and he loved it. Hearing her cry out his name as her body shuddered around him, knowing he could bring her to such heights was a thrill for him. He was so close to his own release, and had been thinking about spilling inside her all night. The thought of feeling her pulse around him was enough to drive him right to the edge. “Come for me,” he whispered again. “Now.”

As if on command, he felt her tighten around him before crashing over the edge. A gasp sounded from her, and he quickly clasped a hand over her mouth to muffle it, to avoid alerting anyone to what they were doing. She turned her face back into the pillow and panted against his hand, breathing heavily as she came. Her entire body shook as she contained what would normally be exclamations to the gods about how good he fucked her. He buried his head against her shoulder, using her skin to muffle his own pants and stifled groans as he felt himself topple over that same edge, filling her just as he longed to do these past days. He held on to her tightly, pressing every inch of her body against him as he pulsed inside her. 

Their breathing slowed and he pulled out of her, laying on his back and throwing the sheet off of them to feel the cool air of the room against his skin. The room was silent except for the sound of drunken snoring from their companions, their plan a success. Tav turned to her other side, facing him, and he traced the curves of her body with a finger. He would never tire of it, every dip, rise, curve, and scar was part of the topography of her body he wanted to memorize. Her breathing slowed and her eyes fluttered - sleep was near for both of them. 

Pulling the sheet back up, he kissed her softly. He pulled her in next to him - the bed was hardly big enough for the both of them, but it was worth it to feel her next to him.

“I love you, Gale,” she whispered before sleep took her. 

“I love you, Tav,” he smiled and whispered back. He stayed awake for a few moments before sleep overcame him as well, the night’s events replaying through his dreams.

[thehistoriccemetery]

I saw you were in need of requests, so I bring you one.

how would the ladies react to a usually pacifistic Tav sucker punching someone, seemingly out of nowhere? when pressed as to why they did it, Tav reveals they'd been hearing the person they punched make gross comments about their partner all evening

I only did Shadowheart, Lae’zel, and Karlach for this one. Hope you enjoy anon!

CW: Violence

Shadowheart

Shadowheart’s eyes widen in surprise when your fist meets the Sharran priest’s face. He falls backwards, nearly hitting his head against the alter. She covers her mouth to conceal a smile. The smile, however, is quickly replaced with a concerned look. She couldn’t hear your conversation, what could he have possibly said to set you off? You walk back towards her, accidentally smearing blood across as you try to itch your nose.

“Is that his blood or yours?” She asks.

You turn your hands over, just now noticing there is blood on them. “Oh?” You tilt your head. “Probably both?”

“What did he do? Did he hurt you?” She asks.

“No he didn’t hurt me, he… it’s not important,” you said. “Am I gonna get like… smited if I wash my hands of in Shar’s fountain? Smited? Smoted?”

Shadowheart laughs. “It’s actually smote. And if you’re going to get smote for anything, it’s shoving her priest’s head into her alter.”

She takes your face into her hands and presses your foreheads together as you both laugh. She kisses your forehead and you wrap your arms around her. The move surprises and her hands shoot into the air, but she doesn’t pull away.

“You made the right choice… sparing Aylin I mean. I know it was the hardest thing you’ve ever done, but it was the right thing to do.” You say.

“I know, darling,” she says, relaxing and returning your hug.

Lae’zel

When Lae’zel sees you move to punch the old scholar, she’s by your side before you even make contact. The scholar hunches over, groaning in pain. Lae’zel takes the opportunity to take her greatsword down on her back. The body falls limply to the ground. “Kainyak!” She spat. “What did the istik say?”

You smiled. “You didn’t even hear her and you still struck her down?”

“If it was enough to incite any violence from you, I’m sure a swift death was a blessing,” she responded.

“The crèche is that way,” you say, pointing in the direction of the Rosymorn Monastery. You hoped it would distract away from original question. Lae’zel shouldn’t have to hear the racist and repulsive way the woman had spoken of her people.

Luckily, it was enough.

“Then that is the way we will go” she commands, pointing her greatsword in the direction.

Karlach

Karlach almost misses it, but she turns her head at the last minute to see you sock a bard right in the nose.

“Hell yeah!” She shouts, pumping her fist in the air. She’s still about 50 feet away from you, so she definitely didn’t hear what the man said or know why you punched him. She starts approaching a bit more quickly, breaking into a light jog.

Before you know it she’s standing next to you and looking down at the now dazed bard on the ground. “That was awesome!” She says, slapping you lightly on the back. “So uh… what did he do? Must’ve been a hell of a song he was playing to get a rise out of you.”

“He was… he’s not a fan of tieflings,” you sigh. It’s not a complete lie, more of a fib. He’s not a fan of a tiefling, one you are particularly fond of.

“A lot of people aren’t, unfortunately,” she says, reaching a hand out to help the man up. Your heart aches at the act of kindness for such a cruel man.

“I’ll not be taking assistance from you, hellspawn!” He spits, standing up himself and spitting at Karlach. Blood and teeth spattered against her chest.

You glare at him, ready to knock him out for good this time. A swift kick sends him tumbling back to the ground and a stomp to his right hand cause him to shriek. You won’t kill him, but his broken fingers ensure he’ll never play another about your Karlach again.

[deadtired-highkeyenergetic]

Market Day

Thank you to @spacebarbarianweird for the Astarion x barbarian!Tav headcanons that inspired this fic!!

Summary: You drag some of your companions to the market to restock on supplies and run into a little spot of trouble

Today was Market Day, as you had come to coin it, where you and your companions would visit a nearby market to purchase various supplies, whether it be food, drink, weapons, potions, or anything anyone happened to need. With a slight skip in your step, you make your way into the marketplace, dragging along a weary vampire, a less than interested cleric and a very very reluctant wizard who wanted nothing more than to be fast asleep in his bedroll or be buried deep in a musty book.

“I don’t understand how you can be so cheerful this early in the morning,” Gale yawns, rubbing his eyes.

“Why was I chosen over Lae’zel to come along?” Shadowheart groans, dragging her feet along. Astarion looked the most alive among the three but you could tell he wanted to be anywhere but here.

“It’s a bright and sunny morning! There’s no better time than now to get all our shopping done!” You cheer, pumping your fist in the air.

“Why didn’t you invite Karlach along if you wanted some life in the party?” Astarion rolls his eyes, folding his arms across his chest. The market is rather quiet today, much to his distaste, for it meant there were less pockets to…well…pick. To you however, the lack of a crowd meant that there was more time to peruse the wares available without the person queuing behind you breathing down your neck to hurry it up, so you were more than happy about it.

“But I can be the life of the party!” You huff, giving him a pout. He should never have taught you how to gives puppy dog eyes, Astarion thinks to himself, watching as you give him your best shot at said eyes. He sighs in response, knowing you will never let this matter rest until he agrees with you and numbly nods.

“Of course you can, darling. Now, don’t we have quite a bit of shopping to do?”

With that, you’re off, heading towards the butcher while the others go their own ways to various shops of interest. Gale, to no one’s surprise, heads straight for the merchant selling a bunch of magical items while Shadowheart meanders around until a particular store selling carvings of the various gods catches her eye and she makes a beeline towards it. Astarion, meanwhile, looks for his first pocket to pick and eyes a rather wealthy human strutting around that made for easy pickings.

You quickly gather all the food items on the list and shove them all into your backpack, proud of the bargains you had made on your own. Astarion had been teaching you how to haggle, and although you were a slow learner, you were steadily getting better at it. Today proved as much. You couldn’t wait to tell him about the discount you had haggled from the fruit merchant and show him all his teachings hadn’t been for naught. As you made your way to Astarion who was at the other end of the market, something caught your eye — black leather bound book with words you couldn’t quite make out in gold lettering.

You go to take a closer look, curious. Did Astarion have this book? You don’t remember seeing such a cover before, would he appreciate the book? You weren’t even sure about the contents of the book, words always proved a challenge and you hated how you couldn’t just beat the words into submission so that you could read them.

“You can’t just beat up every problem you come across!” Astarion exlaimed when you angrily swore at the paragraph he had been trying to teach you to read.

“Everything would be so much easier if I could.” You huffed in response.

“Some things require a little more finesse, darling. Don’t you worry your beautiful self, leave such things to me.” He pressed a kiss to your forehead with a small smile.

The fond memory caused the corners of your lips to quirk up. Astarion had never once blamed you for struggling with learning how to read, he had been patient, as patient as he could be but had given up some time after. He had never pressed you to learn to read afterwards, instead he did all the reading for you which you very much preferred as you got to hear his melodious voice while understanding whatever was scrawled on the pages of the book you had looted from a corpse because you found the cover pretty.

“Didn’t know barbarians knew how to read, I thought they were all brawns and no brain.” A sneer comes from your right. The merchant selling the book you were looking at gives you a look of disgust and snatches it out of your grasp.

“Get your grubby hands off my wares,” he spits, “someone who lacks the intelligence needed to understand such fine craft shouldn’t be here in the first place.”

You scowl at him, a low rumbling erupting from your throat, “I may not be able to read but I sure as hells can understand what you’re saying.”

“The creature speaks!” The merchant feigns a gasp of surprise. You snarl, a hand moving towards your axe when a cold hand gently rests on your hand. Astarion meets your gaze, giving a small shake of his head and puts himself in between you and the merchant.

“It seems intelligence and basic common courtesy does not go hand in hand,” he says nonchalantly, but poison drips from every word. “To think a man so well-learned would only have the manners of a beast.”

The merchant glares at him but Astarion calmly looks them in the eye, a fake smile gracing his lips, “am I wrong?”

“This is none of your business, elf,” the merchant hisses.

“Oh, but the moment you insulted my lover, it became my business.” His unnerving smile remains plastered to his face, unsettling the merchant who was slowly losing confidence. “Now then, may I see this fine craft of yours?”

“Leave at once! You’re ruining my business!” The merchant snaps. “And I suggest getting yourself a better lover, maybe one not as daft as that barbarian.”

Astarion’s ruby eyes widen, a hand reaching for his dagger but you beat him to it. You grab the nearest and heaviest book you can find and slam it hard into the merchant’s face, “you can have your damned fine craft back! I don’t need it! I’d rather be illiterate than have to resort to insulting others to feel better about myself!”

Astarion chuckles, swiping a few books that caught his eye before grabbing the book you had been eyeing as well as your wrist and pulled you along, “come on, we better leave before the guards come to investigate the commotion.”

“You don’t have to tell me twice!” The two of you make a quick escape, disappearing into the nearby town before the authorities could catch either of you, giggling all the way.

Once Astarion is sure you’re far enough, he rounds the corner and stops to allow you to catch your breath. You pant, bending over with your hands on your knees but you’re grinning the widest grin you can muster.

“That! Was! Satisfying! You can beat up every problem you come across!” You laugh. Astarion doesn’t even bother to hide his smile, the merchant had deserved that blow to the face and better yet, had been robbed of some of his most prized wares.

“They had it coming,” he snorts, ruffling your hair. “We head back for the others once the heat has died down.”

“I’m sorry for ruining your shopping,” you rub the back of your neck sheepishly.

“It’s quite alright darling, I had finished pickpocketing all the rich people in the maket anyways.” Astarion waves a hand dismissively.

“Astarion!”

“I had quite the haul even, who knew there were so many gold necklaces just lying around unattended.”

“They were attended!”

“Well, clearly not attended enough.” He fishes one out and holds it out to you. “What do you think of this one?”

“It’s beautiful,” you breathe, tracing a finger along the precious chain.

“May I?” He holds out a hand to you and you gently place the necklace into his outstretched hand. He gestures for you to turn around and you comply, twiddling your fingers nervously. Would you looks good in it? It was definitely a very expensive necklace, something that should not lie on the necks of the likes of you and would sell for a large amount of gold but Astarion had chosen to slip it around your neck, a look of satisfaction clear on his face when he had you turn around so that he could admire his handiwork.

“Perfect. I knew it would look good on you, my taste is impeccable.” He crows. “I also have a dress for you, but that will have to wait until we’re back at camp, unless…”

“Back at camp back at camp!” You squawk, cheeks quickly heating up. Astarion leans in to press a quick peck to your lips, slipping his hand into yours.

“As you wish, my darling barbarian.”

[garlicbreadbatstarion]

BG3 Companion Headcanons

🪩🥂🌹Going to a ball🌹🥂🪩

Wyll:

We all know Wyll is definitely the best dancer

And everyone would recognize him and want to chat and don't even get me started on the ladies absolutely swooning over him

But he'd be sure to show you off and focus in on you in such a way that you never doubted that he only has eyes for you

Give him a tune and he will make it happen: he can dance ballroom, waltz, tango, salsa, swing, and more!

It would also be super important to him to learn dances from your culture to show you how invested he is in you🥺

Will always have one last dance with you after you stumble home, just the two of you as he hums in the twilight of the kitchen

Lae'zel:

Would complain about having to dress in impractical clothes the whole time getting ready

Until she sees how stunning you are and, although she still says it is impractical, she would definitely tell you your elevated look is beyond satisfactory

Would probably hop into random conversations she finds interesting and scope out the whole event

Though she'd resist dancing in front of strangers, you'd catch her tapping her foot to the music

And on the walk back you could twirl her around (very briefly) and crack her tough exterior just enough to see her smile but she would deny any such thing if you ever tried to mention it again

Astarion:

Doesn't remember much about actually learning it anymore, but ballroom comes really easily to Astarion and it brings him a lot of joy to feel something his torment could not successfully erase

He also loves that dancing with you is an easy excuse not to talk to the high society crowds that often show up at events like this, and instead you can gossip together the whole night

"my dear we should get one of those for you!" And he'd wiggle his eyebrows and gesture to an over-the-top man in a bright green tailcoat, an 18" powdered wig covered with tiny Baldurian flags and ribbons atop his head. You'd slap his shoulder playfully and try to conceal your laughter

Even when you take a break from dancing, his hand is (respectfully) around your waist to protect and guide you through the crowd

Would 100% get drunk with you and sneak off into a non-party area of the venue to make out

Karlach:

A little too excited bc she lovesss parties of any variety

Does a frantic fashion show while you get ready, panicking about what go wear

She definitely does crazy moves in each outfit to test out it's danceability

Would turn into a dad the way she makes friends literally the whole time; it takes 10 minutes just to get inside because she can't stop chatting with the doorman

She asked Astarion to teach her to dance as soon as she found out you were going to this, that way she can successfully woo you on the dancefloor!

Gale:

He was very nervous to dance because he always skipped his school dances at the academy so he could explore forbidden places while the rest of the school was preoccupied

He definitely confides in Wyll on all this, and our lovely homeboy teaches him then and there how to lead💃

Gale can't stop the bi-panic when Wyll dips him almost down to the floor, with a cheeky wink

But now that you're here he's excited to listen in on the conversations of the many researchers and society members here!

He would get engrossed in conversation and you'd go dance with some friends that were there and it's like a romcom when he turns and sees you twirl across the floor🥲

He completely abandons his colleagues and appears out of nowhere, hand on your waist, waltzing you around

Wyll does a sly lil fist pump "yes, my man!" as he sees Gale spin you from across the floor

Shadowheart:

She lovesss getting ready and helping you get ready as well

Loves the tiny hors d'eouvres and smallglasses of wine and champagne they serve at events of this scale

It unlocks a core memory of her mother reading her fairytales as a girl, and she quickly wipes a small tear before it can fall

The quadrille is her favorite, she loves that it's social and friendly without having to hold a full conversation with a stranger

Would pepper your face with kisses on the way home thanking you for such a lovely time

Halsin:

He's not super used to the formal dance styles of the city, but he's ready to learn as he goes for you!

But he also flirts with the violinist and easily convinces him to play a little jig so he can show off

Also loves the food; I firmly feel Halsin would be a really adventurous eater and he'd be excited to try the variety of new spices and flavors they have at this event

Has 0 clue but the entire venue is ✨obsessed✨ with him

[agreeeeeeeeeee]

Thanksgiving in Baldur's Gate 🍂༘⋆༄˖°.

| Gale Dekarios x Tav

summary: Tav cannot believe the party has never heard of Thanksgiving, a tradition from their homeland. So, they decide to throw Baldur’s Gate’s first annual Thanksgiving celebration as a reward for weeks of hard work.

cw: tooth-rotting fluff, blood, hunting excursion, implied smut and countless turkey-related innuendos. puns. warm and fuzzy feelings

an: Happy Thanksgiving, my loves! Please take some time over the next few days to acknowledge and celebrate the history of America's Native people, and educate yourself on ways to show up for them today and in the future.

ps i need someone with an ounce of artistic ability to draw Gale holding the flowers with a dopey look in his eye please I BEG

“What do you mean you’ve never heard of Thanksgiving!” Tav shouts, nearly dropping the dagger they were sharpening.

Astarion rolled his eyes. “What the fuck is there to give thanks for?”

“What is Thanksgiving, exactly?” Gale asked, gently taking the dagger from Tav’s hands so they didn’t accidentally stab anyone with their manic gesticulating. “Something from your homeland?”

“It’s a holiday, like a—” How to put it in terms they’d understand? “A feast!”

Karlach perked up. “What kind of feast?”

“It was originally this like, fucked up celebration of imperialism, but now it’s just a day where you hang out with your family, eat too much food and rest,” Tav explained to the confused party.

“Why is called ‘thankstrading’ or whatever?” Wyll asked.

“Thanksgiving,” Tav corrected. “It’s a day to be thankful!"

“Again, what the fuck is there to be thankful for?” Astarion huffed.

Tav deflated a little. “I don’t know. I thought maybe—”

“Would it make you happy, love? To celebrate this Thanksblessing?” Gale asked, placing a reassuring hand over theirs.

Tav nodded. “I just usually celebrate with my family, but since the ship picked me up…” they trailed off, that familiar sorrow wedging itself deeper into their heart.

“Then it shall be done,” Gale said, glaring at Astarion when the vampire opened his mouth to protest. “I think we all deserve a day of feasting and rest, anyways.”

“Fuck yes,” Karlach pumped her fist in the air. “So what do we need to do?”

Tav’s eyes lit up. “Well, first we have to figure out the menu. Stuffed turkey, and potatoes, and fresh bread—oh, pumpkin pie!”

“Stuffed turkey?” Astarion asked, quirking a silver brow, and Karlach snickered. “Stuffed with what, exactly?”

“Uh, stuffing?” Tav responded, rolling their eyes.

“What is ‘stuffing’?” Gale asked, fighting for his life to not crack a smile.

“Poor wizard, doesn’t know what stuffing is,” Wyll tsked, and the rest of the party burst into laughter.

Tav giggled. “It’s like bread and spices that you stuff—place—into the cavity of the bird before you cook it.”

“Stuffed with bread? Sounds awful,” Karlach wheezed, wiping tears from her eyes.

“It’s delicious! And you baste the breast with gravy and—”

Even Gale couldn’t stifle the roar of laughter that burst from him, and a flush singed Tav’s cheeks.

“Now we’re talking!” Karlach howled gleefully, clutching the infernal engine in her chest as it glowed brighter.

“W-what kind of gravy?” Halsin asked, giggling so hard he could barely get the question out.

“I take it all back. Thanksfucking sounds very interesting,” Astarion waggled his brows at Tav.

“I hate you all,” Tav slumped back against the tree, shaking their head with a chuckle.

“We’ll start with catching the bird, yeah?” Wyll asked, wrestling his expression back into a mask of calm. “Tomorrow morning?”

“Perfect,” Tav grinned, excited for Baldur’s Gate’s First Annual Thanksgiving Celebration.

Tav and Wyll rose just after dawn to set out on their hunt. Tav ordered Karlach and Halsin to collect berries, root vegetables, and whatever else they could forage around the property, and sent Astarion and Shadowheart to shop for items in town.

Gale appeared suddenly before Tav and Wyll left, dressed in freshly laundered robes, his hair clean and pushed back from his face. Achingly handsome, but hardly dressed for a hunt. “Is it alright if I join you?” Gale asked, ignoring Wyll’s eye-roll in favor of Tav’s lingering stare. “I would very much like to get some activity in before such a large meal.”

Tav snickered. “Of course, you’re one of those.”

“One of what?” Gale pestered as they ventured into the woods.

“Nothing, Gale,” Tav teased, shaking their head. There was always one nut that felt the need to run a 5k before Thanksgiving dinner, and of course, it was Gale.

“Come now, Tav,” Gale poked them in the ribs. When they continued to ignore him, he started tickling his long fingers over their side, earning a loud squeal of laughter. “Tell me!”

“Stop it!” Tav yelped, attempting to run from Gale’s gentle assault, but he caught them around the middle and hauled them back into his muscular chest.

“Tell me,” he murmured against their ear, his fingers digging into their hips as a shiver rolled down their spine.

“Enough, you too. We’ll never catch a damn thing with your incessant flirting scaring everything off within a ten mile radius,” Wyll hissed.

“We’re not flirting!” Tav argued, swatting at Gale’s hands.

“Fine, fine,” Gale huffed, releasing you. “Don’t get your gizzards in a twist.”

Tav snorted a laugh and Wyll groaned, trudging further up the path.

It was a gorgeous morning in Baldur’s Gate, sunny with a slight chill in the air, fallen leaves crunching under their boots as they walked. Leaves of every color painted the forest, bright against the cloudless, blue sky. If Tav closed their eyes, it almost felt like home.

Though, at home they didn’t have a handsome wizard at their back, who kept tripping over roots and sticks as he stared up at the trees in wonder.

“Look,” Wyll whispered, drawing their wandering attention. He crouched to the ground, pointing at something along the edge of the path. “Turkey tracks.”

“Does it have to be a turkey?” Gale asked, peering into the trees where the tracks lead. “The turkey is such an ugly beast. Surely we could do something more refined, like a goose or swan.”

“Who the fuck eats swan?” Wyll argued, straightening.

“I”m sure some people do,” Gale argued, crossing his arms over his chest.

“No!” Tav argued. “It has to be turkey.”

“Whatever you say, darling,” Gale purred, his tone instantly changing, sweet and smooth as summer honey.

Wyll rolled his eyes so hard, his head fell back, horns pointing behind him. “Mizora fucking save me.”

“Come.” Gale cast a spell to illuminate the tracks, revealing a winding path into the forest. “Let us apprehend you your hideous fowl.”

An hour later and they had a massive turkey in tow, Wyll carrying it over his shoulder while Tav and Gale rushed ahead to camp.

Karlach and Halsin had returned as well, with a bucket of wild potatoes, freshly pulled herbs, golden ears of corn, and several baskets of berries. Best of all, Halsin held the biggest, orangest pumpkin Tav had ever seen in his great arms.

Tav squealed with delight. “This is perfect! Thank you!”

Halsin blushed, toeing the ground with his boot. “’Course, Tav. Happy to help.”

“I’ll start a fire!” Karlach said, rushing to the pit at the center of camp.

It seemed everyone was getting into the Thanksgiving spirit, and Tav set them each to different tasks to help prepare the food. Gale was on baking duty, his wizard training and eye for finer details making him a natural at pie crust. Halsin cleaned and prepped the produce, while Wyll plucked and prepped the bird, being sure to leave the pail of blood for Astarion to enjoy later. Tav and Karlach set to put together a table and some chairs.

A while later, Gale was sitting by the fire, diligently supervising his pumpkin pie as it baked in the cast iron over an open flame, and Tav tapped him on the shoulder.

“Would you like to help me find some flowers for the table?” They asked him, an inexplicable flush creeping up their cheeks. It was just friends going to pick some flowers for a nice dinner. Not romantic in the slightest.

Gale jumped up liked they’d asked him if he wanted the elixir of life, nodding his head vigorously. “Lead the way, my fearless, uh, leader!”

Tav smiled and together they walked back into the forest, along the more traveled paths where wildflowers grew.

“Thank you for insisting we celebrate,” Gale said after awhile of walking and picking flowers, breaking the peaceful silence. “I think we all needed a little…distraction.”

Tav smiled, heart warming. “Well, if you hadn’t backed me up, we may not be. So thank you.”

“You said before that it was a celebration of being thankful.” Gale paused, turning to face them, a bundle of dandelions, mum’s, and pink snapdragons clutched in his large hands. “Can it be for anything?”

“Of course it can.” The vulnerability in Gale’s eyes made Tav’s throat close, their heart racing in their chest.

“Then, well, uh, I suppose—” Gale cleared his throat, looking at the ground then back to them. “I suppose I’m quite thankful for you, Tav.”

Tav’s heart leapt, a sweet warmth spreading through them. “I'm thankful for you too, Gale.”

Gale smiled, relief crinkling the corner of his eyes. “Here,” he said, fussing with the flowers in his hands before stepping closer and tucking a dandelion behind Tav’s ear. His hand moved to caress their cheek, admiring the way the yellow complimented their skin. “There we are,” he hummed, brushing a thumb over their cheekbone. “Beautiful.”

“Gale,” Tav murmured, leaning into his palm.

“Hmm?” His eyes lowered to their lips, lingering for a moment before flicking up to their eyes.

“They’ll be waiting for us,” Tav said, even as they began to lean in.

Gale brushed his nose over theirs, sharing labored breaths. “Let them wait.”

“Your pie might burn,” Tav teased, sliding their hand up Gale’s chest, the expensive fabric of his tunic divine under their calloused skin.

“I don’t give a damn if the whole camp burns to the ground.” Gale pressed his lips to Tav’s, as gently as he could manage for fear of startling them, and deep, contented sigh heaved from his chest. Tav fisted his tunic and kissed him back harder, a flame of desire igniting in their belly when Gale obliged, opening his mouth for Tav. They licked inside his mouth, tasting pumpkin and and a few stolen blackberries, so unbelievably sweet, and he let out a low groan.

Unable to hold himself back any longer, Gale took charge of the kiss, angling their head to the perfect position for him to delve deeper. He relished in the taste of them, the smell of their skin and the eagerness of their kiss, allowing it all to wash months of uncertainty and doubt away.

The orb hummed in his chest, a lavender light beginning to glow between them, and Gale reluctantly retreated from the kiss, his eyes fluttering shut as he basked in the feeling a moment longer.

Tav’s fingers traced over the mark of the orb on his skin, admiring the way his muscled chest rose and fell under their touch, a slack, slightly dazed expression on his handsome face. “We should get back,” Tav murmured, already formulating a plan for sneaking into his tent later that night.

“Right, of course.” Gale’s eyes finally opened, their color like liquid amber, and he offered an arm to them.

They walked arm and arm back to camp, finding Astarion and Shadowheart had returned. Together, the party toiled away the afternoon cooking, decorating, and drinking, enjoying the mundane domesticity of preparing a meal.

Just before sunset, the turkey was finally finished. Tav and Astarion had spent over an hour assembling and decorating the table, and it sagged under the weight of dozens of plates of food: deep red berry jam, golden loaves of crusty breads, herb-roasted potatoes, succulent and crispy turkey with gravy poured over top.

It was everything Tav imagined, and their heart glowed as everyone took their seats. Gale sat beside Tav, topping up their goblet of wine before they stood to make a toast.

“While the circumstances that brought us together may be less than ideal, there’s no braver band of idiots I’d like to travel Baldur’s Gate with than you all. You have my endless gratitude and admiration for your sacrifices, your hard work, and for indulging my many flights of fancy.” Tav wiped a tear from their cheek, raising their goblet. The others did the same, but before Tav could finish, Gale rose.

“Sorry to interrupt, darling. But I have something I'd like to say." Gale cleared his throat. "There's a kind of magic no spell can bring, and you, Tav, you bring that that magic to our lives every day,” he said, eyes shining with affection. “To Tav!” He declared, wrapping his free arm around their waist and raising his glass with the other.

"To Tav!” The party chorused, aggressively clinking their glasses together so wine sloshed over the table.

They dug into the array of food, trading stories and laughing as the sunset and the stars winked to life, candles illuminating the table and around the camp.

“I quite like this stuffing,” Gale said quietly to Tav, placing another forkful into his mouth. “Perhaps I could show you my personal recipe a bit later?”

Tav nearly choked on their wine, heat scorching their cheeks. “After dessert?” They asked, raising a brow.

“Oh, darling. You are dessert. And I intend to eat my fill.”

“All your terrible flirting is giving me autumn-y ache,” Karlach muttered, trying to hide her smile behind a turkey leg.

“Well, I think it’s a gourd-able,” Shadowheart replied.

“I”m not drunk enough for this,” Wyll grumbled, tipping back his goblet.

“Oh, come now. The meat isn’t the only thing that needs basting,” Astarion teased, and Halsin nearly fell out of his chair from laughing so hard.

“I love it when you talk turkey to me,” Tav murmured to Gale, leaning over to kiss his cheek.

The wizard flushed scarlet and chuckled. “I think Thanksgiving might be my new favorite holiday.”

I hope you all have a wonderful Thanksgiving! 🍂༘⋆༄˖°.

Alsoooooo, I'm collecting ideas for some hoilday fics! If you have anything you'd like to see, feel free to leave a note in my asks! You can see everything I write for in my pinned post, and if you have an idea you don't see there, send it anyways!

[archduchessgortash]

Gale Dekarios, Act 1

Incorrect Quotes

They get progressively more incorrect as we go... and dirtier. Some are his thoughts. Most of the time, he's talking to Durge and reacting to everyone else's interruptions (usually Astarion).

When recruited:

Gale:

I am a powerful archmage! Or, I was before that unwelcome insertion in the ocular region. I'm brilliant and well-read. I even know the technical term for squidification.

Only a fool wouldn't like me.

No... it's not actually squidification, Astarion.

Also, Gale:

Please ignore the rock from which you pulled me. I am a very good wizard.

No, I am not telling you about my adventures as an archmage! We just met.

You may admire my Peter Pan pose instead. Just... don't get me killed.

But, if you do, resurrect me. Or the world will end.

What? I didn't say anything.

In the grove:

Gale:

Be nice to children, even the rascals. Especially the rascals.

Yes, I was a rascal, and people weren't always nice to me. You're very perceptive, Astarion. A bloody genius. Shall I pat you on the back? Oh, you've got that handled, have you? Splendid.

Also, Gale:

I, too, will ignore the very existence of those quite rascally, yet most certainly NOT children-shaped goblins that you, me, Astarion or Halsin may or may not have eviscerated.

Or incinerated.

Flirts and Weave scene:

Gale:

I'm a master of the weave, a wizard prodigy.

I was the Chosen of Mystra. And her lover.

Also, Gale:

But I'm really the villain. *Wink wink*

No, Astarion! I am not having 'dark urges' like our fearless leader.

No... I'm not actually the villain! I have to say that I am.

Because I'm the good pup and you're the bad cat, that's why.

What do you mean, Wyll is the good pup?!

Mizora does call him that...

Well, what am I then??

I have no idea what autistic nerd-bait is, Shadowheart. Is it new?

Ohhh...

I'm the brainy one that half of the fandom doesn't get because they're squirming illiterates. Right.

I said illiterates, not illithids!

Please put the greatsword down, Lae'zel.

Gale:

I might need to eat Shadowheart's spear very soon.

No, not that, Astarion! I have no idea whether or not she even has one. How would I? They took her underwear?? That's... an unbelievable invasion of privacy.

Wait! Where are mine???!

Also, Gale:

It's very nice that you still have your underwear, Astarion, in spite of your numerous attempts to fling them directly at our leader's face.

No, I still don't want to talk to you while we walk.

Unless... Do you think you could steal mine back? This robe is rather drafty.

Gale:

I trust you more than anyone other than my cat, and believe me, that is an achievement!

Also, Gale:

I am a ticking timebomb. I'm sorry for not telling you right away, even though you told me about your irrepressible need to murder. In my defense, I didn't take you seriously.

No one did.

Yes, I am ignoring you, Astarion.

Because I'm still freeballing!

Gale:

You know what? Keep the underwear.

Let me show you some beautiful magic...

Also, Gale:

They want to hold my hand now.

What do I DO???

Mid-Act 1:

Gale:

Your ass, uh, axe looks very delicious, uh, powerful. May I eat it? Not literally, of course. I'll be rearranging the matter into a form that the Orb can consume.

Yes, Karlach, consume does mean the same as eat. Good work paying attention when I was reading to you! They can take the tiefling out of the schoolhouse and throw her in the Hells, but they can't truly take the schoolhouse out of the tiefling.

No! I'm not calling you fat. I would never do such a thing! Even if you were.

Yes, I'll... make extra pudding with dinner.

Yes, you can have mine.

So, as I was saying... Can my Orb please eat your ass? Axe. AXE! The world might end if you don't let me eat your ass. AXE!!!

Gah! Mystra's eyelids!

Also, Gale:

Thank. You. For. Letting. Me. Eat. Your.... Axe. Yes! [Fist pump]

Tiefling party:

Gale:

I'll make them think I'm unavailable by talking about my Tressym like she's not a flying cat who treats me like her grandson.

Then, I'll surprise them by flirting.

Shit, they're onto me!

They flirted first. RUN!

Ow, my knees!

Also, Gale:

You smell. I'm into it.

Unfortunately, if I touch you, I will quite literally explode.

I love you, Gale Dekarios... 🤣🥰

[dez78]

Caffeine & Couture

------------------------------

Fandom: Modern Baldur's Gate 3 AU

Pairings: Astarion x Fem Elf!Reader

Summary: I'm a middle-class elven woman; I own a coffee shop that also functions as library. I have a comfortable life; I live in my grandmother's bungalow that she left me before she tragically passed away from an incurable illness. My best friend Shadowheart and I are huge fans of Astarion Ancunín one of the richest male fashion designers of the century. I admire his work and wish to have my own fashion line one day. Sanguine Noir surpasses other designer brands in quality, creativity, and style. Astarion has made rivals of many companies over the years.

Notes: In this AU Astarion has a healthy relationship with intimacy and sexual encounters, but complications with trust, self-esteem, and manipulation. He worked for Cazador, his fashion mentor who belittled him, bullied him, and manipulated him to extort customers. Astarion has been free of his corrupted company for a century and has since surpassed Cazador's net worth by three million with his own company. A fashion company called Sanguine Noir.

Notes: This story takes place in 21st century New York, Uk and Europe are also mentioned in the story. All the races from Baldur's Gate are also present in this modern world.

------------------------

Chapter 1: Taste of Luxury

I sat on the couch, eating my Chinese takeout, all my favorites. Orange chicken, low mein, and egg rolls. I also had a 1 liter of coke on my coffee table, I had my feet kicked up as I flipped through the channels.

The Paris fashion show was on tv tonight, I wanted to see it. As I flashed through the channels, I landed on the boxing channel.

"And in this corner, we have the Big Mama K!" The announcer roared, Karlach came into camera view and pumped her fists in the air. I clicked again and again until I finally landed on the channel I wanted.

The event had just started, I set my remote aside and stuffed my face with low mein. My heart skipped a beat when I saw the familiar brand in the background, I nearly hopped out of my seat when Astarion Ancunín came on screen.

I was such a huge fan of his, I had every issue of his magazines and his styles on my Pinterest board. I even added some flair of my own to some of his designs, I knew he'd never see them, but I hoped one day to have my own fashion line. I loved my coffee library shop, but man, it would be a dream to be a fashion designer like him.

My eyes were glued to the screen as he started to get interviewed.

"Now, Mr. Ancunín. What theme have you gone with tonight?" The interviewer asked, Astarion's hypnotizing crimson eyes looked into the camera as he smirked that dangerous smirk, his voice velvety smooth like his gowns.

"I went with a dark romance theme, darling." He said with a dramatic flair,

"As is my official tagline, Elegance meets Darkness. I went with crimson velvet, blacks, lace, and intricate embroidery tonight." Astarion continued.

"There is nothing as timeless as gothic elegance and vampiric mystique, darling." He added with that smirk.

Suddenly there was a knock on my door,

"Coming!" I called as I jumped up, keeping my eyes on the screen. I opened my front door and Shadowheart crowded in with a bottle of wine.

"Did it start?" She asked,

"Yes!" I said excitedly as we hurried over to the couch and sat down, our eyes fixated on the tv screen.

"He's so gorgeous." Shadowheart whined as she popped open the bottle of wine, she was still in her EMT gear, didn't even bother to change after her shift.

"Right? He just announced a new line. It's on tonight." I said, my voice trembled with excitement. Shadowheart actually owns an outfit from Sanguine Noir. It was a gift from one of her exes. Since we were the same size, we switched it often. Wearing it at different times.

It is a thigh high, black satin dress with a V neckline that is embroidered with rubies on along the neck, and it has a drip effect like blood running while the back was low-cut with delicate crisscrossed black silk laces. It was a gorgeous dress.

Even the tagline was beautiful hauntingly so, 'Where passion meets power, and beauty draws blood.'

We watched as the show started, the other fashion lines started with their seasonal gowns and suits, Gucci, Louis Vuitton, Dior, Chanel, Prada. Then came the moment Shadowheart and I were waiting for.

"Next we have the new line of gowns from Sanguine Noir, designed by Astarion Ancunín."

As usual the gowns were downright gorgeous. Blacks, golds, reds, velvet, satin, silk, capes, lace, and plenty of embroidery. Astarion didn't disappoint yet again; the dark gothic elegance and vampiric mystique was present in his Dark Romance line just as he promised.

Astarion's pieces were a bit of everything, 1920's glamour, 30's influence, 40's class, 50's edge, gothic elegance, vampiric mystique, and Victorian opulence, with a modern touch.

Minthara Baenre, Astarion's star model looked stunning in his new line. Bats, spider web motifs, rubies, and many other intricate designs and rich gemstones. Everything looked gorgeous on her figure.

"I want that one." I whined as I sipped my wine, Shadowheart sat back,

"Eh, it's not as stunning as that last one, that one was gorgeous!" She smirked. I laughed,

"Who are we kidding? It's all gorgeous." I snorted as I shook my head.

"On a serious note..." Shadowheart started, her voice was soft as she swirled her whine,

"Your birthday is this weekend, what do you want?" She asked. She looked up at me.

"One of those outfits." I laughed teasingly, Shadowheart let out a loud scoff,

"Something preferably more affordable." She said with a smirk.

"I'm just kidding." I told her,

"Seriously though, anything for the shop. Doesn't really matter what, more books, little decor pieces." I told her with sincerity.

"That I can do." Shadowheart laughed.

"Do you mind if I crash here tonight?" She added with a flush to her pale cheeks,

"Not at all." I replied with a smile. I handed her some Chinese food, I knew she was coming over, so I ordered extra, we ate and watched the models walking down the runway.

----------------------------------------

Later that night, the grand ballroom in Astarion's Paris chateau glittered with wealth and power, he was the one hosting the Gala tonight. The air thick with the mingling scents of expensive perfume and aged champagne.

The dual staircase was the focal point of the room along with the crystal chandelier that hung high above the stairs, illuminating the room. Smaller chandeliers were hung about as well as wall sconces.

The marble floors glittered with pristine shine and the walls homed many framed photos.

Butlers and maids walked around handing out expensive champagne and expensive wine called Sanguis Noctis, meaning blood of the night. It's a rich, velvety, and robust red wine. Then there was Luna Bianca meaning "White Moon" which is a delicate, floral and citrus tasting white wine. High end hors d'oeuvres were also handed out. Caviar, sweet and fiery pepper bruschetta, mini potato skins, crab cake bites, deviled crab dip, spicy strawberry-goat cheese crostini, spicy sweet potato crostini.

Astarion stood by a towering window, the city lights sparkling like stars beyond the glass. Dressed in a bespoke, sleek black three-piece suit from his own line, his crimson silk tie perfectly knotted, he looked every bit the icon his name had become.

His usually tousled curls were tamed and neatly combed into a handsome side part that brought out the charm even more. He even had some contour to highlight his perfect cheekbones and a small touch of eyeliner, enough to make his eyes stand out. Even elongated his eyelashes with a touch up of mascara. Astarion wasn't shy from making himself look presentable.

He needed to upkeep his image after all. Astarion's crimson eyes followed the beautiful people housed in his ballroom. A glass of only the richest fine wine money could possibly buy. Of course it was his from his Italian vineyard. Have you expected any less from Astarion Ancunín? The multimillionaire fashion designer.

"Ah, if it isn't the prodigal tailor."

The familiar voice, slick and condescending, made Astarion's jaw tighten for the briefest of moments before he turned, a practiced smile gracing his lips.

"Still slumming it with the mortals, plebeians and their lowbrow tastes. I see." Cazador drawled, a glass of wine cradled in his hand as he approached Astarion at the Gala.

Astarion’s sharp crimson gaze flicked over Cazador’s attire. The suit was unmistakably from Szarr Fashion, though its outdated cuts and ostentatious embroidery failed to impress in the current fashion climate. Astarion smiled, his fangs flashing just enough to remind anyone watching of the predator beneath the polished exterior.

"Ah, Cazador," Astarion purred, his tone as smooth as velvet.

"Always a pleasure to see the proprietor of... Szarr Fashion." He let the name roll off his tongue as if tasting something sour.

"You’ve truly mastered the art of making too much look like... well, not nearly enough." Astarion continued lazily waving his hand over Cazador's latest work.

Cazador’s jaw tightened, but he recovered quickly, smirking.

"And you, Astarion, have mastered the art of playing dress-up. A pity your little company, what is it called again? Ah yes, Sanguine Noir, has yet to achieve the gravitas of a legacy brand like mine." Cazador said, his tone dark.

Astarion laughed, it was light and mocking, he looked at his old mentor and spoke in a honeyed tone,

"Cute." He said with a sweet smile.

"You think your business is still truly up to date with today's fashion? The fashion of the 21st century, that's pathetic. And if you've forgotten Mr. Szarr, my net worth has surpassed yours..." Astarion explained, his voice biting.

"By three million." He smirked as he held eye contact.

Cazador’s eyes narrowed, his lips pulling into a sneer.

"Don’t forget where you came from, boy. Without me, you’d be nothing but a nameless, starving nobody."

Astarion let out a soft laugh, the sound as light and sharp as a blade.

"Oh, I could never forget. Your mentorship." He said, voice dripping with mock reverence,

"Taught me precisely what not to do. It's why my company thrives while yours..." He gestured vaguely with a gloved hand.

"Well, the whispers are hardly flattering, are they?" Astarion smirked deviously, referring to recent rumors of the Szarr's Fashion business being threatened with bankruptcy if things didn't change.

Cazador’s face darkened, his jaw clenching.

"Watch yourself. Empires rise and fall. Yours could be next."

Astarion stepped closer, his smile never faltering, though his crimson eyes gleamed with a dangerous light.

"Empires, perhaps. But mine is no empire—it’s a true legacy. Built not on deceit and bullying, but on artistry and trust. A concept, I admit, that might be foreign to you." He explained lazily inspecting his gloved hand.

"Stop pretending Astarion, you will never live up to my legacy as a true fashion entrepreneur. You're a disappointment." Cazador sneered trying to recover a bit of his dignity.

Astarion chuckled, low and rich.

"I’ve found that true legacies require more than a last name slapped onto mediocrity." His eyes narrowed ever so slightly.

"Tell me, how are the bankruptcy negotiations coming along? I imagine selling off Szarr Fashion piece by piece must be... humbling."

The barb hit its mark, but Cazador straightened, his sneer returning.

"Careful, boy. I built you, and I can tear you down just as easily."

Astarion leaned in, close enough that his whisper carried an edge only Cazador could hear.

"You didn’t build me, darling. You tried to break me. And yet, here I am." He stepped back, flashing a dazzling smile for the room.

"Do enjoy the rest of your evening, Mr. Szarr. I hear charity auctions are wonderful for companies in... desperate situations."

As Astarion sauntered away, heads turning in his wake, Cazador seethed, his once-commanding presence now a shadow beneath the weight of his fading empire.

Astarion turned for another moment tilting his head and offering a small, almost pitying smile.

"And Cazador, do try the canapés—they’re divine. Assuming, of course, you can afford to eat tonight." His smirk was disarming.

With that, Astarion turned on his heel, his stride confident and unhurried as he melted back into the crowd. Behind him, Cazador stood rooted in place, his fists clenched, a relic of the past watching the future stride away with grace and power.

"This wine is absolutely superb." A woman said, the taste was refined and truly exquisite, Astarion overhearing, smiled and approached her.

"Oh, you adore the wine, darling? How charming. It's from my vineyard in Italy, of course. I'd offer a bottle to send you home with, but I'm afraid it's not available to just anyone." Astarion smiled his charming, gorgeous smile, the one that made people forget their names.

-------------------------------------

The next few days were slow, my coffee shop business was decently paced. Gale Dekarios from the University came in and ordered his usual black coffee and muffin before going and grading papers from the recent exams. I sat in the back of the cafe, enough space for privacy, but not so much that I couldn't see the front counter.

I scrolled through various posts on Instagram, I sighed when I saw, yet another unboxing video featuring Sanguine Noir.

"Hey guys, I just ordered one of the new gowns from Sanguine Noir, the number 7 spot from the Paris fashion show a few days ago. It just came in the mail today." The influencer explained as she opened the sleek black, perfectly squared cardboard box, Astarion's signature packaging.

Sounds of wax paper ruffling could be heard as she opened it neatly. She pulled out the gown, I sighed, that was one of the many gowns that I loved. I furrowed my brows; it was something I could never afford.

I scrolled and saw one of Astarion's posts, I still haven't followed him, I've been too much of chicken shit, I have liked a lot of his videos and pictures though. This one I mindlessly clicked the like button.

"Hello darlings, I wanted to personally thank you for the recent abundance of orders since the fashion show. Sanguine Noir appreciates your love and support. Ta ta darlings." Astarion winked as he blew the camera a kiss, the video ended right after.

I sighed and put my phone away, I got up when a customer walked in, I put on my friendly smile and went up to the counter to take their order.

It was a simple coffee order, black with milk. I made it almost instantly, I took the money and put it in the till. I looked up and saw Gale's gaze on me, I sighed and went over to him, I plopped down, a disappointed look on my face.

"Why the grim look, Y/N?" He asked with a slight chuckle as he peered over the top of his glasses.

"Well, Astarion's new line just came out and it's all over social media, just reminds me that I'll never afford such luxury." I replied bitterly, my ears bending down, showcasing my disappointment. Gale laughed light heartedly.

"Luxury isn't everything, you know. You don't need fancy things to be happy." He told me, I rolled my eyes at him.

"Can't a girl sulk?" I complained, Gale only smiled at me as he continued to grade papers.

"You can, but don't let it rule your life." He replied, I sighed,

"I won't, I'll just wish that I was rich." I smirked. Sure, having lavish material things was a dream, but I was actually completely content with my simple life.

I enjoyed the simplicity of my current life. My little bungalow and my charming little Honda Civic that has seen better days. I didn't need or really want the lavish lifestyle. I wanted my own line, but I didn't want the fame that came with it. I didn't really like that kind of attention if I was being completely honest.

The most fame I have is my vlogs on my Instagram and even those, don't get a lot of views and I'm fine with that.

--------------------------------

The morning of my birthday started out slow, I woke up, got coffee and breakfast, before showering and brushing my teeth.

I was in the middle of applying my makeup when there was a knock on the door, I rushed to the front door and opened it. I stood there in my robe still and my towel still on my head.

"A delivery for Y/N Y/L?" The UPS driver said,

"That's me." I said, my breath hitched, I would recognize that sleek black box anywhere.

"I need you to sign here." The delivery man said, I nodded, my hand was shaking as I took the pen, I trembled as I signed for the package.

"Enjoy ma'am." He smiled as he took the clipboard and handed me the box. I took it and shut the door. I hurried to my bedroom. I immediately took out my phone and that's when I noticed a message from Shadowheart.

"Did you get your surprise yet?"

I immediately called her; she picked up after two rings.

"Shadowheart! You got me something from Sanguine Noir!?" I screamed excitedly,

"I did! I've been saving up for two years now. I was waiting for a special occasion. What better way to celebrate your 25th birthday?" She said, I could hear the smirk in her tone.

"Oh my god!" I wailed; tears welled in my eyes.

"I'll be over in about ten, I expect you to be wearing that when I get there." Shadowheart teased.

"I will, thank you so much!" I replied, still shaking.

"You're welcome." Shadowheart said, we hung up then. A small card was clipped to the top of the box. I took it and opened it,

"Also, I may or may not have sent Astarion an email of you wearing our favorite dress. ;)"

I gasped loudly. I bit my lip, I took out my phone, I took the towel off my head and my locks fell in waves. I opened Instagram live on my personal account, where I posted life updates and vlogs of my daily life, I had a decent following.

"Hey guys! My best friend has graced me with a huge present for my birthday. She managed to get me a piece from Sanguine Noir. I'm extremely thrilled and can't wait to open it." I said to my camera; my smile was huge.

Immediately comments flooded my live, all my friends congratulating me and telling me happy birthday. I turned the camera around and put it on my tripod, facing the bed. I opened the delicate packaging with care. The crimson and black tissue paper holding the garment was sealed with wax.

I carefully peeled it open, and it revealed the most beautiful dress I had ever seen. It was a deep red cashmere dress, knee length with a sweetheart neckline and off the shoulder sleeves that were long. The back of the dress was open, it was alluring, but still subtle. It also came with a belt, black in color with a bat as the buckle, it was adorned with rubies and diamonds.

I showed the camera the dress,

"I can't believe I finally own one! I can't wait to try it on, I will you post photos after this live!" I expressed my excitement, my eyes glittering with bliss. I turned off my camera and the live ended.

I immediately went and got dressed, I stripped my robe and got into the dress, it fit like a glove. It was tight but not restricting. It enhanced my figure significantly. Every curve looked beautiful. I smirked and twirled in my tall mirror as I looked at myself.

I grabbed a pair of my best black heels, strapped stilettoes. I put them on and they complimented the dress gorgeously. I twirled again. I grabbed my phone again and opened my camera.

I snapped plenty of pictures, posing and smiling, my excitement evident. I picked out the best ones and posted five of the best on my Instagram. My post being:

Y/NTav: I finally own a piece from Sanguine Noir, I can't believe it! <3 #SanguineNoir #VampireChic #DarkRomance #Luxury

I posted it and went to the box, I dug a bit and found another card, my heart skipped a beat. I turned it over; it was a black matte card with Astarion's logo on it.

I read it and my breath hitched. The writing was elegant and written in delicate cursive.

"My dearest Y/N,

Seeing you in my creation is nothing short of divine. You've given life to the dress in ways I could only dream of, and for that, I am truly grateful. You are a vision, my dear, and it is an honor to have you grace Sanguine Noir.

Welcome to the Sanguine Noir family, darling. Happy birthday.

With all my appreciation,

Astarion. "

I nearly fainted when I read the card. Shadowheart really did send him that photo. I knew exactly which one she talked about. My phone buzzed uncontrollably, I looked at it and my notifications were blowing up.

I scrolled through likes, comments, and tags. Someone even tagged Astarion himself in my post. I doubted he would reply, but it was nice to see that there was at least a chance. I set my phone down when the doorbell rang, I went to the door. I opened it and Shadowheart gasped.

"Y/N! You're beautiful!" She cried as she embraced me,

"Thank you so much! I can't believe you did this!" I cried,

"I thought you said you couldn't afford it!" I added. She shrugged with a smug expression,

"I only said that because it would have ruined the surprise." She replied cheekily. I hugged her again.

"Thank you so, so much." I trembled as I spoke.

"You're welcome." Shadowheart replied warmly. We went back into the house, and I finished up my makeup while Shadowheart did my hair.

--------------------------

After about thirty minutes of getting ready, I was done, and I looked even more beautiful. I looked at my phone and I had 20+ notifications, I scrolled through them and saw many comments and more likes.

Then I saw it, my eyes widened, and I nearly dropped my phone.

AstarionAncunínOfficial: You look stunning! Keep shining, darling! #Fashionispower #FashionisArt #SanguineNoirFamily #SanguineNoir

AstarionAncunínOfficial followed you.

I nearly screamed, Shadowheart right next to me did scream.

"Oh god! He followed you! He followed YOU!" She wailed excitedly as she shook me, I was still dazed as I read the notification. I couldn't believe it.

He actually followed me back and commented on my post. My heart drummed inside my chest. I felt my throat swell as the rush of emotions crashed into me. I just stared at my screen, still in utter shock.

[galebrainrot2024]

Gale x Tav Enemies to Lovers Part VI

This part is a bit shorter than the others, critical plot ahead though, be warned. Gale POV once again.

Surprise, shorties.

Gale followed silently behind Tav, Shadowheart and Karlach as they began their trek to the Goblin Camp. The group was uncharacteristically quiet, the strain between Tav and Gale palpable and coupled with the anxiety that comes along with any battle. Even those with hearts of steel forged in the fires of courage and might experience the nervousness that creeps through the body and seeps through your bones and into the very marrow of your being. Even heroes understand that life is precious and nothing is guaranteed. 

When Tav explained their mission to them earlier, she spoke directly to Karlach and Shadowheart and tangentially to Gale. Today they were launching their final assault on the camp, leaving no stone turned or rather, no goblin alive. 

“The leaders are dead, there are only a few more on the outskirts of their camp.” Tav pulled out a crudely drawn map and pointed to a spot on it, “This is where we’re headed. There’s normally a scout stationed here,” she dragged her finger along the map, all four of their heads huddled over it. Tav looked up at the sky, the darkness of an impending storm looming above them. “We should move, while the weather’s still on our side.” 

“And what if there are more than we anticipate?” Gale asked, the question was innocuous enough - he wasn’t trying to challenge her, he liked to be prepared. He should have anticipated that she would not see it that way.  

Tav ignored his question and Shadowheart, also a pragmatic, echoed him. “Tav - Gale has a point. Regardless of whatever qualms you have with him, he’s right as much as I hate to admit it.” Shadowheart gave Gale a sly smirk, she was teasing him. “We need to have a plan if things go awry. It would be foolish not to.” 

Tav shot a dirty look at Gale and he shrugged smugly. She rose her eyebrows and pursed her lips, “We’ll be fine. They’re just goblins.” 

Fine with me, he thought, his arms crossed across his chest as he absorbed the task at hand. He heard Shadowheart’s annoyed, but compliant huff and Karlach chuckled, pumping her fists in the air. “Poor fuckers, have no idea what’s about to hit them.” 

** 

As they began their sneaky, eastern decent upon the camp, Gale’s knees creaked and he groaned. “This is no fun at all,” Gale grumbled. He hated sneaking, he hated being crouched like this. It felt ridiculous. There was an entire cliff face between them and the Goblins. Who was going to see them? 

Karlach snickered, whispering, “You alright there, Grandpa? I think they heard that crack all the way in Elturel.”

“Ha-ha,” Gale said mockingly, releasing a puff of air from his nose, “Very funny.” Tav shot Gale a withering look and he rolled his eyes, and then stuck his tongue out at her childishly as she turned around, something that sent Karlach into stitches. 

“I like sassy Gale,” Karlach whispered and Tav once again gave them a look of death, eyes like daggers into the spirit. “Alright, alright message received solider.” She held her hands up defensively and smiled at Tav, hoping to defuse the situation. 

They crept along the cliff-face, launching their assault from the side. Tav would go first, killing the scout, and the rest would follow. Simple, easy she said. Taking down the leaders had apparently been a cake walk which eased Gale’s anxiety a bit. Tav quietly and efficiently killed the scout, gesturing for the rest to move. 

They lined the crumbling wall, prepared to attack. Karlach jumped, succumbing to her rage and threw a spear wildly at one of the Goblins - nothing quite like the element of surprise - and so it began. Gale heard the blood rush through his ears as his heart thumped loudly in his chest. After so many days back at camp, he had forgotten how thrilling being in the thick of battle was. Everything becomes crisp, every sense heightened as he looked in the face of death. 

“Gale, NOW,” Tav yelled, signaling for him to launch his attacks. In one fell swoop, Gale pulled at the Weave, focusing his adrenaline into what he knew best - magic. Tav launched multiple patches of grease that Gale followed, hitting with fireballs that lit the Goblins up and sent their charred bodies writhing into the dirt. 

A low rumbling in the skies portended the weather ahead, the clouds darkening as a maelstrom brewed above them. The rain was hardly a mist at first before it deluged them with water, pouring down as if the Gods themselves sent down a tsunami. Gale’s hair clung to his face and he noticed an ogre headed straight for Tav - she hadn’t said anything about ogres - her back was turned and by the time he locked eyes with her it was too late. 

You know the feeling when you’re dreaming how everything feels ridiculously, painfully slow, that even when you try to shout your voice catches in your throat, when you try to run it feels as if you’re pushing through molasses - the world ground to a halt for Gale and he felt suspended in time, as if it happened in slow motion.

There she was, on top of the crumbling wall, the ogre barreling towards her with a spiked club in hand. “TAV!” Gale tried to yell, but the sound of the torrential rain and thunder drowned out his voice.

He watched as the club made contact. A THWAP reverberated across the camp and her body spun as if she were a rag doll. She fell from the wall, the sound of cracking bone and cartilage assaulting his ears. “NO!” Gale cried out, his movements inhumanly quick as he throttled the Goblins before him, killing them in one volatile flick of the Weave and rushed over to her, falling to his knees. “Tav, TAV,” he brushed the soaking hair from her face looking battered and bruised, her lips blue. His hair plastered to his face from the rain, heavy drops rolling into his mouth as he shielded her. 

Time stopped. His heart felt ripped from his chest as he struggled to find a pulse. “SHADOWHEART, SHE’S NOT BREATHING. COME, QUICK, PLEASE,” He shouted to her from across the encampment as he held Tav in his lap, the evident swelling of broken bones and internal bleeding consumed Tav. He was shaking violently, holding her against him. Karlach was in a frenzy to hold the rest of the Goblins back and took down the ogre as Shadowheart sprinted to them. 

Shadowheart dropped to her knees, closing her eyes and hovered her hands over Tav, casting cure wounds but it wasn’t working. “I don’t know what’s wrong,” she was frantic, trying other spells yet Tav’s wounds remained, her body deadly still. “I can’t… I can’t find a pulse, Gale. I don’t.. this is beyond my abilities…” Shadowheart’s voice was barely a murmur, drowned out by rain and thunder. 

“You must,” he hissed, still holding Tav in his arms as the rain poured in his eyes and soaked his robes, Tav’s blood mixing into the fabric. “You’re a cleric, aren’t you? What isn’t working? Why isn’t it working?” 

“I don’t know!” She snapped, throwing a potion of healing to Karlach that she chugged as she single-handedly finished the goblins who remained. 

“You can’t be…” Gale gasped, his entire body quaking with a harsh sob. “No..no.. there must be a way...” His words caught in his throat, his entire body feeling as if it might disintegrate as he wept and held her against him. 

Karlach came bounding over and placed a hand on Gale’s shoulder. “We have to go. Now. I have an idea,” She scooped Tav in her arms as if she were light as a child, her fires doused by the rain, and Gale and Shadowheart followed dashing back to camp with as much haste as their feet could manage.  

[bluerose5]

Valentine’s request!!

Dammon/Karlach!! Just some soft cuddling and healing pleaseeee ☺️☺️☺️☺️

(Or, if you wanna hurt, Dammon/my Durge post BG3 lots of hurt/comfort 😭😭😭😭)

Late, but it's here! Ahhhhh look no hurt (not today at least). Plus Karlach/Dammon is just 🥺

...

After her companions returned to their camp, Dammon was surprised when Karlach found her way back to him with a bounce to her step.

"Ugh, are you still working?" she groaned, but her growing grin betrayed her. Her tail swayed back and forth, her excitement contagious. "Come on, you. Take a break already!"

"Karlach," he chuckled, taking a moment to wipe the sweat from his forehead. "I—"

"Please!" she begged. "For me?"

As if he could deny her anything.

"Oh, alright," he said, laughing when she pumped her fist into the air with a cheer. "For you."

She bounced up and down on her heels. Her smile alone was so radiant that Dammon was certain it could break through the shadows that threatened them, if given a chance.

"Thank you, thank you, thank you!"

"It's no problem, tru— Karlach!" he laughed.

Without warning, she had scooped him up into a bone-crushing hug. He grunted for a second, but there was nowhere he'd rather be than in her arms.

When she tossed him over her shoulder, he melted against her while she strolled onwards, talking about anything and everything that caught her attention.

Eventually, she set him onto his feet when they arrived at the docks.

They sat down, side-by-side, as their feet dangled over still, dark waters.

Karlach made it a point to shift closer to him with a lighthearted hum, so Dammon took the not-so-subtle hint, shifting closer to her until they snuggled up against each other.

Karlach pressed a kiss to his temple.

Their tails intertwined.

And when their lips found one another in a brief kiss, everything felt right in the world.

[dungeonsdragonsandlawyers]

Andromeda looked to Astarion with a question in her eyes. The vampire levelled her with a look that said “ Absolutely not. ” 

Andromeda narrowed her eyes and sent a thought along the tadpole connection: They might have a way back to the surface?

Or , Astarion’s voice filled her mind, they might kill us and turn us into mushroom zombies. Who’s to say? But I, for one, would rather not take the risk!

Andromeda gestured to the world around them and widened her eyes: Since when have you passed up the opportunity to get your hands a little bloody?! It's not like we’re defenceless if they decide to turn us into mushroom undead! She pointed behind them to where the others were huddled in a darkened alcove, Karlach’s bright amber eyes locked on Andromeda.

Astarion looked between Andromeda and the others, then towards the looming figures ahead, then back to Andromeda. He tossed his head back and let out a quiet groan, pumping his fists at his hips as he threw the oddest looking temper tantrum Andromeda had ever seen. She grinned, knowing she had won this round, and slid out from behind the boulder.

She carefully stepped through the torch stalks, feet light as she danced along the same path the duegar had shambled. She could barely hear Astarion’s feet hitting the gravel behind her, but she could hear his quiet grumbling over the turn the day had taken. As Andromeda made her way across the empty space, she saw the figures guarding the space beyond turn to her and cock their enormous, trumpet shaped head to the side. Their long arms extended toward her, movements still graceful as if they were floating along the ocean. 

I am Sovereign. You are a stranger to us, Flesh-walker , Andromeda heard in her mind, Why have you come? It was the same regal voice, deep and commanding, that had permeated her mind the previous night. Her feet staggered to a halt and she clutched at her head as a wave of psionic force swept over it - the threat of violence was clear. She focused on her tadpole, on pushing the memories of the past several weeks out in the direction of whatever force was permeating her mind. 

We mean you no harm . She pushed the thought towards the presence, and hoped it would be enough to satisfy whatever it was looking for. 

It paused, considering all she had shown it, and then she felt the presence in her mind recede, pulling back like a wave. She loosen a breath that she hadn’t realized she had been holding as the looming figures ahead parted to allow her to pass. 

You may descend to me. We will speak . 

[eeldritchblast]

(Belated) WIP Wednesday

Tagged by @razrogue ❤️ - here's a snippet of my Marin x Wyll x Karlach Avernus fic I'm very slowly working on!

Wyll was the type of person that you could easily tell when he was having a nightmare. Even Marin, who was notoriously bad at reading people, could see how pained his face was. Marin wondered what exactly bothered his sleeping self so much that he would look as hurt as he did, but didn’t have to wonder very long; she knew Wyll well enough by now to know it was Mizora. It was always Mizora. The cambion hunted them for sport for months now, sending her many minions after them, and on at least two occasions, bothered to show up herself. They had been lucky thus far, but Wyll couldn’t escape her in his dreams. Not when she still had a hold on him and his whereabouts, as long as he had his sending stone eye. According to Wyll, removing it was impossible, at least for the time being. The same magic that kept it lubricated also kept it firmly in place, and Mizora in contact with him anytime she pleased. “I hate seeing him like that, but I don’t want to wake him,” Karlach quietly voiced Marin’s own thoughts too. The tall tiefling woman looked even taller when she stretched out, her bones cracking in relief from laying on the hard ground. She was supposed to be sleeping as well, as it was Marin’s turn on watch. “He needs the sleep.” “So do you,” Marin said. “Nah,” Karlach waved it off, and admittedly, she was probably handling Avernus the best of the three of them—physically, at least. With her infernal engine heart pumping well and good, she barely got tired at all. Marin on the other hand, as a water genasi, felt like the dry, hot air was constantly sucking away her life. It made being intimate with Karlach a little more difficult, because she just didn’t have the energy to keep up. But Karlach was as patient as she was capable of being. Wyll stirred, and for a moment Marin cursed them for talking too loud, but he still did not wake. Marin watched Karlach slowly shuffle herself closer to him, and wipe at his forehead. Even in his sleep, somehow the touch was soothing to Wyll, as his jaw and fists unclenched. “He loves you, you know,” Marin whispered. “I know,” Karlach nodded with a soft smile, then looked up to meet Marin’s face. “He loves you, too.” The feeling was mutual. Marin thought back to the night she and Wyll danced together; the tension that hung in the air when their lips were so close to meeting. She wanted to kiss him so badly…

[ficbrish]

WIP Wednesday

[29Nov2023]

This is from a one shot that's part of my Kinktober collection

"The Cave"

“Ugh, jus’ leave it, Vis,” Karlach groaned.

The cave dripped with echoes and stalactites; its wet air swallowing Karlach’s booming voice within layers of soft stone. Her frustration burned hot enough to cast dancing shadows across the others’ faces.

She spoke directly to Vistri’s wriggling butt. There was something shiny she’d spotted behind a spiderweb that Vistri just had to have. Karlach almost regretted mentioning it.

“Hang on,” Vistri said with reaching effort.

Astarion sighed, “You know just how she has to get her hands on everything. We’ll get out of here faster if we don’t argue.”

Gale shot an eyebrow over at Astarion, “You’d know that, wouldn’t you?”

Karlach threw her head back and howled. Her laughter shook the cave.

“Do you want to get us all killed?” Gale shushed her urgently.

“Spiders are fucked mate. We’re the only ones left.”

“We don’t know that for sure though, and I’d rather not be taken by surprise.”

“Astarion, darling?” Vistri called, still a floating butt to the three of them, “Do me a favor and hold my bum? If I could reach just a little further…”

Gale wiggled his brows again, “Go on, Astarion. The bum awaits!”

“Grab her bum!” Karlach chanted, “Grab her bum!”

He rolled his eyes at them before walking over to take hold of her hips.

“Aaaaay!” Karlach and Gale cheered.

Astarion pouted, standing behind her. There was no way to steady her that wasn’t suggestive.

“Now, really!”

The other two were losing it.

“Ah HAH!” Vistri cried out triumphantly.

She shot up so fast, and so completely covered in spiderweb, that webbing splattered all over Astarion.

He spat, “Augh! That went inside my mouth!”

“Worth it!” Vistri said, showing everyone her prize: Forearm wraps that were embroidered all over with silver thread. They were made of a hard, dark leather and laced up along the sides.

“Oh, those are quite lovely,” Gale commented, stepping closer.

“No!” Vistri pulled them back, “I won’t let you eat these!”

“I wasn’t!—I wasn’t going to eat them. And I don’t eat magical items, I absorb them.”

“These aren’t magical anyway, they’re just pretty.”

Gale sighed, “I wasn’t…”

Astarion grinned, “Not as pretty as you, my dear.”

Vistri flipped one of her braids, “Aw, stop!”

Karlach frowned, “Eugh, they’re being all mushy again! Gale, tell them to stop. It’s too much cuteness, I can’t take it.”

“Why do I have to tell them to stop?”

“Cuz you’re like a dad.”

“I’m not—“

“You are!” Vistri laughed, “You’re just like someone’s dad.”

“Not the Daddy vibes you hoped to give off, eh?” Astarion teased.

Needless to say, Gale pouted the whole way back to camp.

When they got there, Karlach announced, “Gale is everyone’s dad!”

“Oggy! Oggy! Oggy!” Wyll chanted.

Karlach pumped her fist in the air, and Gale had to duck as she shouted back, “Oi! Oi! Oi!”

Astarion noticed the way Vistri made a beeline for Shadowheart. He watched them chat as he “tidied up” his tent area.

“You’ll never guess what I found inside of a spider web,” she said as the others fussed over Gale.

Shadowheart raised a brow, “Lolth’s chosen?”

“No, and how dare you,” she brought the armor out from her pack, “I found these beautiful things.”

She didn’t look too impressed.

“They’re… Nice.”

Vistri narrowed her eyes, “Well, thank goodness they’re not for you.”

Astarion watched her leave to show off her new find to Lae’zel, and then Wyll and even Halsin. She started to walk towards Withers but seemed to think better of it halfway and doubled-back to him.

“It’s because of the undead thing, isn’t it?” Astarion smirked as Vistri approached him.

“What?”

“Nothing.”

“Right. Do you sew?”

“What?”

Vistri held up one of the arm bands, “The thread is loose here. Look!”

Astarion smirked, “Are you asking me to fix it?”

She rolled her eyes, “No.”

“It seems to me that your new treasure is soiled and I’m the only one you trust to mend it.”

“That isn’t un-true.”

“So you’re asking me to fix it?”

“No, silly!” Vistri looked into his eyes, “You’re going to offer.”

Insolence was the word that came to mind. Her blinking grin said, I have a need you’re lucky enough to fulfill, but her eyes were not so sure. There was something weak in them, like slipping fingers. They were on a precipice that hung on his answer, Was she worth it?

“Would you like me to fix it?”

Vistri smiled warmly. It reached her eyes, “Oh, darling! How kind of you! Of course.”

She shoved the object into his hands. He didn’t let her go just yet.

“Say thank you,” he demanded softly.

Vistri held her breath, her eyes grazed over his lips.

“Thank you.”

[chaos-is-neutral]

Flower Braids

Halsin had just finished with the council meeting for the month. This one had been a little bit longer than he would have liked. Tensions were high, to say the least. One of the other groves was riding on their asses about the next festival being held at their location, but honestly, Halsin couldn't care less. Right now Lyria was on his top priority since they would be due with the twins when the festival came. The last thing he wanted was a bunch of people coming and going that he had to watch while his partner could be in labor.

As he was walking back to his home he heard three familiar giggles out near the river. With a smile, he changed course to his three children. Oliver was working on what appeared to be a flower crown while Thaniel was braiding Aralia’s hair. The little five-year-old was talking away to her older brothers. Her horns had started to grow which caused her auburn hair to fall every which way. Karlach had said that when hers were growing her mother braided her hair. So, the boys had learned to braid to try and help her. 

When he walked into the clearing, all three of them looked up. Aralia gave him a big missing front teeth smile. “Daddy!” she giggled. She tried to get up to hug him but Thaniel tugged her back. “Not yet, Ara. Have to finish,” he grumbled. 

Halsin walked over and squatted by them. “Is Thaniel braiding your hair for you again?” he asked. The little girl attempted a nod much to Thaniel’s dislike. “When we were playing my hair got in my face and I accidentally fell. I hurt my knees,” she said and put her hands infront of her face, blocking her brown and red eyes as an attempt to renact what her hair was doing. It was as if that was just an everyday occurrence to her.

Which it was. 

Aralia had Karlach’s spunk. Being part tiefling also made her pretty durable too. It still didn’t stop him from entering dad mode and checking her knees.

“I okay daddy!” she giggled and moved her legs away. Halsin gave her a smile, “I know Lia, but you know Ani will be worried if they see your knees.” Lyria was already entering what Halsin liked to call mother bear mode. If anything happened to Thaniel, Oliver, or Aralia they freaked out until something was done to satisfy them. Poor Oliver was the last child to witness it when another child accidentally hit him during fighting practice. Karlach had to be the one to try and calm Lyria down. But it didn’t work, so she sent them to Halsin who had to be the one to calm them down by distracting them with questions about how he should go about the festival. 

“Ani won’t worry daddy. I good. See!” She bent her knees to prove her little point. It was cute that she didn’t understand. 

He chuckled and pushed his hair back out of his face. Halsin had been letting it grow out because Aralia asked him to. “You’re right,” he laughed. 

Halsin glanced back at Thaniel whose hair was falling out of his ponytail. He too wanted to grow his hair out with his little sister. Oliver was the only one who said no because he wanted short hair like Ani. 

“Want me to help you Thaniel?” Halsin asked and moved behind the boy. He sat down, crossed his legs, and grabbed some of his hair. Thaniel didn’t protest so he kept on.

He was getting in the groove when he heard Aralia shout, “MOMMY!” 

He glanced up to see his wife. It looked like she had just finished a training session with the teens. The tiefling was wearing a band around her chest and her leather tights, showing off her muscles. It made her look hot. Halsin had to tame those thoughts for tonight. 

“You all are doing a hair braiding party without Mama K!” she acted shocked. Aralia shook her head no, despite Thaniel trying to keep her from doing it. “Join us, mommy! Daddy needs his braided,” she said pointing back to Halsin. He looked up at Karlach with a smile, “I think Lia is right. My hair is getting in the way.” 

Karlach did a little fist pump. It was cute when she got this excited. “Fuck yeah-”

“Karlach!” Halsin warned. 

“Sorry,” she whispered and walked over to him. 

He felt her get behind him. Without her engine, she did not run as hot as before. She still was the warmest out of the three of them and Lyria was always curled up next to her during the cold mornings. Karlach was gentle as she worked on his hair. Oliver ran over and placed some flowers beside them. “Here use these for your hair. I don’t need them for my crowns,” he said then running back to sit by Aralia. The two of them worked on the crowns while the others worked on hair. 

“There is my family,” Lyria said with a big grin. Oliver perked up and ran over to them. He was always closer to them than Halsin and Karlach. He wondered if it was because Lyria played with him before he reunited with Thaniel. They were the first real person to give him attention after years of solitude. They gave his head a pat before turning their attention back to everyone else. “Seems they have left us short-haired people out,” they laughed. Lyria said that but their hair was getting longer. The braid that the three of them each have had since their wedding ceremony looked like it needed to be touched up. Oliver laughed but shook his head no, “Maybe you Ani, but Ara and I have been working on flower crowns.” He held one up for Lyria. The bard smiled and put it on their head.

Halsin and Karlach were both watching with a smile. Lyria was practically glowing. One hand rested on their small bump as Oliver led them over to their little braiding line. “Mama K still needs her hair braided,” Karlach said with a smirk. “That you do. Let me help get you get all dolled up,” they said with a wink. 

Before Lyria could sit, Halsin felt Karlach get up. She ran off but quickly appeared with a cushion for them. Halsin stopped to also help them. “Guys, I can sit down,” they laughed but accepted the help from them. It was getting a little harder for them to move around and Karlach and he were worry worts. Once Lyria was comfortable, they got back into their spots and got to work. 

It was a wonderful way to end the afternoon. Lyria got them all singing while they braided. After that the three children ran around in the water, splashing away while the three of them watched and cuddled. By the end, Aralia was asleep against Halsin’s chest. Most of the flowers were missing from her hair now. Thaniel (who had no flowers in his hair now) and Oliver roughhoused with Karlach. Lyria was resting their head on his arms, trying not to fall asleep. Halsin smiled as he noticed the two little crowns resting on their belly. 

Halsin loved his family so much and thanked the gods every day for Lyria and Karlach. Tonight he would definitely show them all his love and appreciation. For now, though, he will cuddle his family and watch them have fun. 

Thank you for reading! I posted this on AO3 too if you wanna read

Also here are some headcanons:

Aralia is half-tiefling half-elf. She does have Karlach's, Halsin's, and Lyria's dna in her. Halsin found a potion that Lyria had to drink the first three months of their pregnancy that made the baby all theirs. She has very pale pink skin, horns, auburn hair, and two colored eyes. One red one brown.

Halsin, Karlach, and Lyria adopted Thaniel when they went to the shadowcurse lands to create their grove. Oliver never stayed out after playing until Aralia was born. After that, the two never combined again, unless they needed to. Later when they are older they learn to fight using that skill. They do “grow older”, but that is just because they want to grow with Aralia and their future siblings

Ani is Lyria's parent name. Being called mother made them dysphoric so Karlach came up with Ani.

Karlach can't carry kids because of the experiments done on her during her time in Avernus, so Lyria carries.

[limpfisted]

When you were the Blade, Dammon wants to begin with, but he holds fast to what Karlach divulged about Wyll, voice softer. More tired. The mantle of Duke fits him like a poorly made suit. As in, it's too constricting a role. Dammon turns his head, smiles at Karlach waving at them before she scoops up more kids on her shoulders to spin around, and he steps closer to his partner's best friend. Soulmate. However their close bond goes. "As the Blade, you're obligate to slay fiends and heartless monsters. I think, if I ever hurt her, I would fall into that category rather easily." It's softly spoken permission for retaliation. He blinks, gaze cast to his hands. "I'm glad she has you in her life."

“I may tease her. And I will always tease you both…” He smiles. He does not look at Dammon. His eyes both focus on the children, on Karlach. A part of him always wonders what Mizora thinks, when she sees Karlach so happy.

“But I have never, not for one moment, wanted her to be mine.”

He nods his head. “She is not mine to give or take. I want Karlach to always be what she is, everything she is, wild, brilliant, impossible, free as she made herself, free as she was meant to be. She should burn, she should touch, she should sing, and dance, she should be with whoever she likes, whenever she likes, whether it makes her sad, or joyful, or angry.”

He sighs, a cheap, hot breath of laughter. “I fear more for you from her, if you hurt her.”

“I owe you a great deal, for letting me see her smile like this. More than that. For all you’ve done for her engine and her heart.”

“You will always have a place at my table. As long as I draw breath-you shall want for nothing.” He pumps a fist to his chest, over his heart, the badges on his uniform from new accolades, new years of service, “My Father always said—‘repay your debts, not just with ample interest, but with an investment in further kindness betwixt both parties.’ One good turn deserves another, and all that….”

“So, all that being said….”

He finally turns to him, with a much more serious, resigned expression.

“How much of a dowry should I prepare for the wedding?”