#or whatever you call 2023 nowadays

[rikli]

i wanted to play a game or watch some show but singles inferno is on netflix so i watched all three eps and then read like 5 Bad fics and then tt broke for me so yeah let's just sleep lmao my days are spent uselessly!!! hell yeah!!!

[reggieslocket]

*merthur in modern days*

arthur: are you asleep?

merlin: not anymore

arthur: good

merlin: *sighs* what is it?

arthur: i'm a bit nervous about that thing we have to do tomorrow

merlin: there's really no need to be, it's just the procedure nowadays

arthur: yeah but i still don't understand why would i need an ib card? i mean, i'm the king after all!

merlin: first, it's called an id card and second you're not king anymore, remember?

arthur: wow whatever happened to "you're the once and future king"?

merlin: ok you're king, but people can't know about that, can they?

arthur: which i still think is unfair

merlin: we are not having this conversation again at 3 in the morning

arthur: fine fine... then we'll leave at dawn, but first you have to feed the horses and-

merlin: arthur.

arthur: yeah?

merlin: it's 2023 and we have no horses

[leidensygdom]

So uh, some fresh DnD related news!

One of the teams that was affected by the December 2023 layoffs was the team in charge of book design and printing.

It seems they are going to be focusing on DnD Beyond and distributing their content through their Subscription Service (Specially their newer content- Specially anything related to OneDnD or whatever they're calling it nowadays). They also cut their distribution deals with Penguin Random House, which means they are far less interested in selling the books nowadays- They may remain as a sort of collector's thing now, with smaller print runs.

They've been hinting for a while that they're trying to move to digital services. Which is not good, given how they've always refused to distribute their content as PDFs, and do otherwise force you to own the stuff online, in their own servers.

This is of course not exactly unexpected, given how many services are trying to make sure you don't get to own what you buy, and instead remain tied to them through subscription services. It just fucking sucks.

[milflewis]

1k. nigelio. sewis. a glimpse at a what if conversation at a what if silverstone grand prix 2023 ft. nigel mansell being a Gossip

“Nigel.”

Lewis pauses when he opens the door, faltering. It takes a lot to surprise Lewis Hamilton, Nigel knows. And even more to make him show it. He smiles.

“Hello, Lewis.”

“Uh.” Lewis looks past him and then back at his face before shrugging, a grin coming easy. He always did have a face made for smiling. “Hey, man. I heard you were around this weekend. How’s things?”

“Ah, alright. Your race engineer – Bono, yeah? – said that you weren’t scheduled to be out on track for a while. Thought I’d drop by for a minute. Have a chat.”

Lewis raises his eyebrows, tilting his head to the side. Nigel stands very still. After a long breath, Lewis steps back. He opens the door wider, arm stretching out behind him. “Sit wherever. You want a drink?”

“No, I’m okay. Thanks.”

Lewis’s motorhome is acres nicer than any of theirs back in the day, though that can be said for any of the new digs of the drivers nowadays. It’s tidy enough – no empty water bottles lying around, a racesuit thrown half folded over a massage table, a heavy looking shimmery jacket hanging off the back of the door. Cluttered but not dirty. Lived in. Nigel sits down on the couch. There is dog hair on the cushion.

The cross on Lewis’s smooth back stretches and relaxes as he pulls on his fireproofs. His waist is ridiculously tiny. The arms of his racesuit hang low on his hips.

All this pampering he does, Niki had said to him years ago, fond. For fun! He had sounded exasperated and, strangely, proud. Him and James would’ve been insufferable. Not a minute of peace – cut your hair like this, Niki. Grow it out like this, Niki. Why don’t you use conditioner or whatever, Niki.

Lewis sits down on the small chair opposite him, legs falling open at the knees. He’s barefoot. His nails are painted a familiar shade of green. Something in Nigel’s chest hurts.

“I’ve been talking to Sebastian,” Nigel says without any preamble. Lewis barely even blinks.

“I’d guessed,” he replies dryly, and Nigel wonders, not for the first time, how much exactly Lewis notices about what’s going on around the paddock.

“I think you should strike,” Nigel says instead, leaving that question for another day. “Sebastian agrees. He says it might be better if he’s the one to talk to Fernando.”

Lewis’s mouth quirks up at the corner, smile lines winking. He hums quietly. He does not ask why Sebastian isn’t here to tell him himself, or giving him a call. Nigel still isn’t really sure what’s going on there either. Niki was never much help, for all that he loved gossip, and Keke has been firmly staying out of Lewis’s business the past few years, especially when it involves Sebastian, because: “Do you want me to hate my son, Nige? Do you want me to hate you? This is what will happen if I have to listen to any of shit again.”

“Better if you get Jenson to follow up after.” Lewis doesn’t look away from him. “Fernando doesn’t like being told what to do. Jenson knows how to chill him out.”

Nigel isn’t touching that with a ten-foot pole.

Lewis watches him. “We do have Charles to play the piano.”

Nigel laughs. “You do.” The sound feels like it gets caught on a hook in the underside of his stomach. “I’ve heard you play too.”

Lewis scruches up his nose. It is interesting, Nigel thinks, the things that Lewis let’s himself be modest over and what he doesn’t.“Only a little.”

“A piano is a good distraction,” Nigel advises. “You’ll need to get rid of people’s phones. Or at least, have only one person keep them on hand.”

Lewis smiles wryly. “That’d be fun.”

“Probably.”

Lewis reaches down by the side of his seat and straightens up with a pair of thin white socks in hand. He unrolls them and pulls them on, foot by foot. Right. Then left.

Nigel isn’t sure what the right thing to do here is. Does he tell Sebastian that Lewis is, painting his toenails a colour that is strikingly like the Aston Martin green, or does he stay out of it?

Keke would tell him to stay out of it.

“I’ve been thinking of it too,” he says, leaning back. “Of saying no. Making a stand. Things are – things are getting messy.”

“They’ve been messy for a while,” Nigel offers. Lewis doesn’t take it. He only shrugs, slipping his feet into his boots.

Nigel wonders if he and Sebastian talk about that year. He isn’t sure what to hope for.

Lewis tucks his hands under his armpits as he sits back and waits for Nigel to continue. Nigel has said all he came here to say – or at least, all he knows for sure he can say. He looks rather tired. Weary. He should take a long hot bath. Nigel thinks about telling him.

“A piano is a good idea,” he starts. Or tries to. It’s not quite what he intended to say. Lewis’s shoulders relax minutely. Nigel hadn’t realised he was tense.

He looks at Nigel like he knows Nigel knows what he wants to ask.

“Sebastian will agree, I think,” Nigel tries again. He bites at his cheek. He’s too old for this. He doesn’t know how to talk like this anymore.

He thinks of Elio’s smile. He thinks of the swoop of his g’s and his y’s in his data notes that he’d swap with Nigel when they were both at Lotus. He thinks of the only proper way to cook spaghetti bolognese that Elio never got around to showing him. He thinks of how he is nearly fairly sure Sebastian hasn’t called Lewis once since last year. He thinks of Sebastian turning qualifying off in the background of their call a few weeks ago after Lewis had done his run.

“I don’t know if it was love,” Nigel lies despite himself. He has always been very English unfortunately. “Or – at least – that kind of love. We were friends. Very good friends. One of my best, I must say. You notice – when they’re there. And when they aren’t. It’s better – when they are.” He pauses, grimacing. He doesn’t speak on his championship. On how winning tasted faintly like losing.

“Sorry for the poetry,” he laughs and it only rings out slightly hollow. Lewis smiles at him, the lines around his eyes soft. He reminds Nigel of Elio for a quick breathless moment. That same kind brutality.

“Sounds like love to me,” Lewis says, quiet.

Nigel thinks of Lewis’s career. Of whose name is beside him in the history books. Of the Lewis-shaped pauses in Sebastian’s calls to chat that were not there before his retirement. Of how Lewis doesn’t say his name much anymore. Of the look on Sebastian’s face in that one photo from Monaco.

He wants to shake them both, suddenly viciously full of anger. His fingers feel like they’re full of fizzy drink, prickling away at the under-bed of his nails.

They’re so terribly, awfully — enviously — young.

Lewis looks back at him, face calm like a lake. It doesn’t feel like a dare. It doesn’t quite feel like it isn’t one.

He should learn how to ask, Nigel remembers overhearing Aryton complaining about Michael. Just fucking ask for what he wants. Being told no is not dying.

The irony, as it was wont to with Ayrton, was lost on him.

Nigel breathes.

“Yes,” Nigel allows himself – and Lewis. “I guess it is.”

[iznsfw]

What are your thoughts on the oversexualization of eunbi nowadays?

Personally, I won't deny that I love fapping to Eunbi's body but I do think her stylists are so heavily leaning on styling her with less and less clothes which makes me sad bc it kinda discounts Eunbi as a performer and makes her appear more like a slut or someone who would do anything to get more famous to the general public who's just getting to know her

I think sexualization is unavoidable. She's a pretty girl with a pretty body; people are gonna look whatever she wears.

Second, it's probably a hot take especially in the community of Wizones on Twitter considering that they're already complaining about the styling, but: would you call her someone appearing as a slut if she were an underweight girl without any of the tits she has? I don't think so.

Everyone has their own opinions, but I personally think that her clothes don't redefine her performances badly. She's still a great performer, just in revealing clothes. And that's fine. It's not my business if she's a slut or not lol. It's 2023—if what she wears is what she likes, it's fine with me!

A lot of other idols wear revealing clothes. Guess it becomes wrong when it's someone whose body type actually fits them.

[echoghost1]

InvisoBang 2023 - Dawn Of Influence - Chapter 1

Oh my gosh it's finally time that I can share what I've been working on for months! 🎉

Title: Dawn Of Influence Chapter 1 title: Growing Pains? Summary: Danny is in his senior year of high school. His life, even with his still secret half-ghost nonsense, has settled down to a new, but manageable normal. That is until one day he starts to notice something is off. He doesn't feel right, so he tries to find out what’s going on. His ghost form is changing but he has no idea what it’s changing into or why. Characters: Danny Fenton, Sam Manson, Tucker Foley, Jazz Fenton, Clockwork, Pandora, Frostbite Total Word Count: 17,010 Trigger Warnings & relevant tags: Mystery, Horror, Body Horror, Non-Consensual Body Modification, Ghost King Danny Fenton

And of course you can see some super awesome art for this fic on AO3 or here on tumblr by Nimhrodell !!!

You can find my fic on ao3 and read chapter 1 down below the cut!

[you’re here] | Ch 2 | Ch 3 | Ch 4 | Ch 5 | Ch 6 | Ch 7 | Ch 8 | Ch 9 | Ch 10 | Ch 11 | Ch 12

Danny groaned in annoyance as his alarm clock interrupted his sleep.

Why did it always seem to go off earlier than he wanted it to? Even when he went to bed on time it always went off too early. 

"Whoever decided to make school start before noon was pure evil," Danny mumbled into his pillow. 

He sighed and reached for his alarm to turn it off despite how much he didn’t want to move.

He felt a twinge in his side as he moved but he ignored it. There was always something that was sore nowadays. 

He was way too young to feel this old.

"Hey Danno, you better come down if you want any breakfast!" His dad called up the stairs. 

"Yeah, yeah," he replied, nowhere near loud enough to be heard.

He rolled over and felt a similar twinge on his opposite side.

"What gives?" He didn't remember getting shish kabob-ed recently. 

He felt the area but didn't find anything. "Whatever." 

He floated out of bed and stared at his closet. Today seemed like an oversized hoodie day. If anyone asks he can always say that it’s because he’s cold, it’s not like he was lying. 

He’s always cold. Stupid ice powers.

Once he was dressed he grabbed his backpack and made his way downstairs.

“There you are, I was just about to go get you.” his mom said with a smile, “I got some more of that green juice you like in the fridge.”

“Mmhm, juice,” he mumbled as he beelined to the fridge. Sam had introduced him and Tucker to it a few months ago. Tucker hated it because it was full of vegetables, but Danny liked it a lot.

It did taste a little different when he had it at home, but he kind of liked it more that way.

It was probably contaminated with ectoplasm, but it’s fine. 

Probably.

It hadn’t done anything to him yet.

He poured himself a glass for now and filled a thermos (not Fenton branded) for lunch later.

“Oh Sweetie, make sure you eat something before you go, I’ll pack you a lunch, okay?”

“Thanks Mom,” Danny said before he got himself some cereal.

Once he was finished with his breakfast he gathered his things and headed off to school. 

It was a bit of a bummer not to be able to get a ride with Jazz since she graduated last year, but it’s not like he had to take the bus. 

He slipped into the back alley and shifted into his ghost form.

He felt a twinge in his sides again, but after a moment it passed.

"Weird." He readjusted his backpack straps and took off for school.

He really hoped that would go away soon.

He probably just slept wrong.

The school was in sight before he knew it. 

For a second he thought about just flying right past and finding a nice place to nap. 

"If I can't sleep right in my own bed, a tree isn't going to help," Danny muttered to himself before slipping into invisibility and finding a good spot to shift back without being noticed.

He changed back with a yawn and went to his locker knowing his friends would be there waiting for him.

“Hey man, what’s up?” Tucker greeted with far more enthusiasm than Danny could return.

“Tired,” Danny said simply before twirling the lock on his locker a few times to give the illusion that he even knew his combination.

“And here I was thinking I wasn’t a morning person,” Sam teased as she leaned against the locker next to Danny’s.

Danny gave a non-committal hum in response and slipped his fingers intangibly through the locker to flip the opening from the inside, once it clicked he opened it and shoved his backpack inside.

Danny stared into his locker for a full thirty seconds before he spoke. “Do we need anything for first period?” he asked.

“Was there a problem last night that you didn’t call us for?” Sam asked. When she said problem like that, she meant something ghost-related.

“No, that’s what makes this more annoying.” Danny lamented.

“There, there,” Tucker said while patting Danny’s shoulder, “do you need a hug?”

Danny turned around and immediately took Tucker up on the offer. He didn’t care if Tucker was probably joking.

“You sure you’re just tired?” Tucker asked as he returned the hug.

“Yeah,” Danny didn’t think mentioning being sore this morning was worth it. Besides Tucker’s hug meant that he had his nice warm arms wrapped around him in just the right place. It felt so nice he wanted to melt.

“Enjoying the warmth?” Sam said. Even if he couldn’t see her smirk from his blissful position, he certainly heard it.

He smiled and hummed in agreement.

“Poor little snowman.” Tucker teased.

Danny thought about sticking his icy hands up the back of Tucker’s shirt in revenge but that would just end the hug. So he just pouted instead. “I don’t wanna be a snowman.”

“I still don’t even get why you got stuck with that anyway. I mean electricity or even metal would make more sense.” Tucker mused.

“Maybe I got it as a cruel cosmic joke. Clearly, the boy who hates winter should have power over ice.”

“Maybe it’s personality based?” Sam suggested.

Danny pointedly looked away from Sam. How dare she suggest he was a cold person.

In the non-literal sense.

Then he heard her snicker.

He just huffed in annoyance. He was not going to give her the satisfaction of a response.

“You know you’re kind of proving my point,” Sam said with a slightly repressed giggle.

Okay, that got his attention. He turned and just glared until she explained herself.

“You just gave me the cold shoulder. And now you’re giving me a pretty icy glare,” she said with a smirk.

Danny looked up at Tucker, “I can’t believe she just used puns against me like that.”

“I know. So cruel.” Tucker said, giving him a sympathetic pat on his shoulder. “But I believe in you. You can recover from this.”

Danny snuggled against him, “I knew you’d understand.”

“Would you two stop flirting already? We’re gonna be late.” Sam said as she closed Danny’s locker.

“Wait, I didn’t get my stuff,” Danny said only half leaving the hug to reach towards his now-closed locker.

“Don’t worry, I already got it,” Sam said with a quick wiggle of his notebook and textbook.

Danny finally stopped hugging Tucker to grab his stuff. “Thanks. You’re the best.”

“Well someone sure changed their opinion of me pretty quick.”

“You know I can’t stay mad at you.” 

“Shut up,” she muttered.

He may be notoriously clueless, but he didn’t miss the slight blush on her cheeks as she looked away.

It’s why he said it.

They were halfway to class when he realized he didn’t have anything to write with.

“Aw, crap. I didn’t get my pencil.”

“I got you,” Sam said before she turned on her heel and did the very precise art of moving quickly enough to be faster than walking, but not so fast that she would get in trouble for running. 

Danny knew far too well that if he tried that, he’d get in trouble. That or he’d trip.

He was kind of hoping that once he got used to his powers he’d stop being so clumsy but apparently not.

Sam made it back just as he and Tucker were crossing the threshold of the classroom. Instead of just handing him the pencil like a normal person, she slipped it into his pocket as she walked passed. It was like reverse pick-pocketing.

He gave her a questioning look when he got to his seat and she just shrugged.

He shook his head with a smile. Leave it to Sam to find the most unique way to do something just because she could.

He was glad he didn’t just skip today. Not just because of the residual warmth from Tucker’s hug earlier was still clinging to his hoodie, but just being with his friends made him feel better.

It didn’t matter if classes got boring, or if the other kids in their class thought he was a weirdo. His friends were there for him no matter what.

[firestorm09890]

KHTober 2023 Day 7: Guardian of Light

Ienzo was continuing to skim old reports in Master Ansem’s study when Lea came back.

“I’m off again right after this,” said Lea, before Ienzo could get a word out of greeting. “Just thought you guys might want to know I’m doing my own thing now. They want me to be one of their lucky seven, so I’ve gotta train.”

Ienzo had been having a hard time identifying each of his emotions since he had regained his heart, but this one was one he’d known from a young age, and something even Zexion had felt: frustration. Though, this time, he wasn’t sure if it was the usual frustration at being out of the loop, or if it was directed at Lea himself. Perhaps both. He bit back a scathing remark, a little too Zexion for his taste. “Who is this you’re talking about?”

Lea scratched his head. “Y’know, Sora and Riku and Kairi, King Mickey, some fuckin’ wizard guy, uh…”

As helpful as ever.

Shh. Don’t say that out loud. Ienzo kept quiet, waiting for Lea to continue.

“There’s this big war thing that’s supposed to happen between some keyblade wielders called the Guardians of Light and the ‘Real Organization’– guess we weren’t cool enough for old Norty, heh– and the lights want me to join ‘em.”

Ienzo blinked. 

They must be desperate if they asked you to join them. 

Knock it off. “Good… job?” He shook his head slightly. “I’m missing too much context. You’re a keyblade wielder?”

What convenient timing.

Lea grinned. “Yup! Managed to summon mine a bit ago, check this:” He held a hand out, narrowing his eyes at the empty space where the keyblade would appear, and waited.

And waited.

Oh, wow. They truly must be desperate.

“Eh, whatever,” Lea shrugged it off. “I’ve got plenty of time to figure it out. Doesn’t really matter if you see it or not.”

A second, stronger surge of frustration. Ienzo fiddled with the edge of one of the papers. “Make sure not to waste that time.”

Lea rolled his eyes. “Knew you’d say that.” Ienzo mentally cursed himself for letting that one slip out. At the very least, the good-natured smirk didn’t leave Lea’s face. “Sayonara, good luck with whatever you guys are doing nowadays.”

Good riddance.

“And good luck to you as well,” Ienzo said quietly, though Lea was already gone.

[itsjaypm]

A thought about Miis, and where they should go next console (in my opinion)

I started playing Tomodachi Life again recently, and while I think it's a great game, at the top of my mind, especially coming back to it as a nonbinary was how gendered it is.. the game rarely EVER addresses Miis with gender neutral pronouns, and even goes out of the way to do things like say "he/she", explicitly avoiding gender neutral options.. now while I think they probably could've done better with avoiding gendered language, I think the elephant in the room here is the fact that Miis in themselves are explicitly gendered. Miis have two defined settings for gender, and really for the devs there isn't much way around that. That got me thinking about Miis in general, and thinking in the grand scheme, I think I came to a conclusion..

Honestly this might be the weirdest request ever but I really wish Nintendo would just overhaul Miis completely, not in terms of artstyle or anything but just in general implementation. Miis are staying rather stagnant in a world that's moving forward.. whenever Nintendo needs to do something new with Miis, it's always on a software level, the clothing in Tomodachi Life, the makeup and wigs in Miitopia.. Xbox's little goblins, whatever they were called, back in the 360 era had clothing styles, but here we are in 2023, and the most recent way that's still around to freely accessorize your Miis is a game from 2013 released on a VERY dead console, otherwise the clothes are tied completely to your gender, and you wear either a dress, or a shirt. In my honest opinion, I think there are a couple reforms Nintendo should make for Miis next time they have to reimplement them.

Do away with genders (or at the very least, make them an option not tied to pronouns, and also optional) - they already did rather little in the grand scheme of things, the most it ever did in a bios was allow you to organize them by it, and the biggest use case coming to mind in software was forcing heterosexuality in Tomodachi Life.

Make Tomodachi Life style clothes (and Miitopia Switch style make-up) part of the bios - I am going to be honest, as much as the Wii style Miis have their charm, I think the solid color clothing is just looking more and more dated.. In the Wii, the Miis were designed with the ideals of being small enough to fit in a Wiimote's internal storage. Nowadays, I don't think any console would deal with such an issue, and thus the Miis should naturally evolve.. Nintendo already has that useless silver coin digital currency thing, why not repurpose them as currency for clothes? Of course, I'm not saying games shouldn't be able to do their own thing with clothing, that's perfectly reasonable, and is definitely part of the charm with some games like Tomodachi Life, I think Miis should be given more bios wide customization options, I don't think that it should be forced on every game. I think my points about clothing also extend to the Miitopia make-up stuff.

Add the ability to specify a Mii's pronouns - My issue with Tomodachi Life is specifically in it's gendered language, and while I think exclusively using gendered neutral pronouns is an improvement, I know others would certainly like for the game to have that personal touch, and truthfully? I would too! My suggestion that they should exclusively use non gendered terms is specifically in a case where Miis remain as they are; My view on this issue would significantly change if the ability to specify pronouns was added to Miis themselves, either replacing the gender option or working in tandem with it. If such a thing were added, I believe the best of both worlds can be had, with people being able to pick the pronouns that suite them, so games don't have to worry about misgendering someone, the system already has it all setup.

I think some of this would definitely be difficult to implement, but I really do hope features like these come along, not just to make Miis more inclusive, but just generally more customizable. If it's truly a "Mii", I think it should look like me.

[mrs-monaghan]

https://www.tumblr.com/mrs-monaghan/718646972254486528/imagine-being-a-tae-bias-nowadays-and-seeing-him?source=share

Oh talk about JM karma lmao

1. Dragged him for playing pool with Taemin, a smoker in 2016. Tae caught smoking and with cigarette box multiple times since 2019 and antis on his ass for that.

2. Spread JM is pushing himself onto Jk and Jkk doesn't have any bond. JK confirming they were awkward and didn't had a chill relationship. Said Jkk is one sided and JM is the one using FS to be popular. 2023, Tae using tkk agenda like his life and career depends on it.

3. Spread JM is a womanizer and even has a kid lmao, created a dating rumor for him in 2022 which was ignored by even JM stans. 2023 Tae embroiled in dating rumors that too with a woman they hate the most, pics and videos out, discussed in national news channels. Peace destroyed of all stans and their mommas. Don't be surprised if pregnancy announcement is next lmao.

4. Dragged him for having no work after hiatus announcement in 2022. New JM music every 2 month, signed with 2 lux brands in world, sang in Hollywood ost, continuing to make and break records in 2023. Tae no new music since hiatus, did a dishwashing show, signed with 2 fuckass brands that even his own stans got upset for.

5. Called his fans the most toxic, blamed JM for having lot of solo stans, spread his fans are good for nothing antis. 2023, Tae calling his stans boring and corny. Not spending a proper 5 minutes to interact with them that not missing his live became a luxury thing for them.

6. Wished JM will commit suicide when he had a low point in 2022, said he'll alienate himself from all activities. 2023, JM so happy and cheerful and confirmed he's perfectly alright now. While tkkrs haven't slept for days and is verge on mental breakdown. While their fav is acting like a coward and not defending the woman he supposedly love.

7. Dragged JM for his musical skills, saying he can't sing nor produce good music. Saying his album will most flopped among members who are musicians. 2023, FACE reigning charts. JM credited for writing all songs. Got an hot100 historic achievement that God knows when will repeat again. Lmao

I can go on lol

But whatever Tae stans spread about JM and is projecting onto him is literally coming back to them that they have to sacrifice their whole life to defend him LMFAO 🤣

JM karma is so fucking strong, that's what he gets for being an angel

You could have worded this better. Without the V bashing because I whole heartedly agree. These fucktards take every chance to shit on Jimin but as soon as Jimin solos start dishing it back they can't handle it?

I don't like Jimin solos. I don't like any solos at all. But it sure is fun to watch them make the v solos and tkkrs (who are one in the same) sweat. Honestly I am loving it. Sign me up for more.

[ask-serendipity-sky]

You're smart, and the only jikooker that spoke up about jimin and the sabotage, and I understand that you want to believe that jikook is real because you remember the past and the way jikook acted, but I want to ask you, do you really think that in these 2022-2023 jikook acted like a couple? don't forget it's the first time they didn't spend their birthday together, you never saw them interacting in person, you don't know if their relationship is the same as before. They only interacted online and jimin always comments members live, he said he loves namjoon and we know they're only friends, so jikook flirting on weverse could be the same thing, they're friends, you can't judge a relationship from some social media comments. Also, didn't you notice that Jk is completely a different person, he is not the same jungkook, he is more greedy, more competitive in a negative way, always on tiktok doing weird things, he wants to be superior to anyone else, do you think jimin can have a romantic relationship with a man with this kind of personality? really? be honest. We know jimin and his family, hardworker people, honest people, we know that jimin admire namjoon and yoongi, the fact they work hard, the fact they're mature. Okay, jimin is affectionate to Jungkook, we know that, but do you honestly think that jimin can have a mature and long romantic relationship with jungkook? try to think about it.

Hello,

Look. Things are always more complicated than what they seem. It's not that I WANT (like I need it otherwise I'll be sad) jikook to be real but I know they are real.

I'm a person that likes to see things to believe them. Evidence-based only, none of this trust stuff.

For a while, I was almost off the jikook ship. Yes the theories are interesting. Their history is beautiful. They have great chemistry...blah blah. But we didn't see jikook together on screen. And when we would, they were weird. So I was about to leave jikook because I wasn't going to be observing something that wasn't there. I didn't want to be convincing myself that things were ok if they were gone.

But then I found people who knew things and showed me things. And I've seen jikook be real.

So even though, we don't see jikook ON SCREEN, I see them. So I'm on the jikook train.

When I stop seeing them and sense that things are over completely, I will be off the jikook train, not because I'm insecure or whatever they call it nowadays but because relationships change and people change. I just have to wait and see.

All the things you are mentioning are being seen from a perspective of someone who refuses to entertain the idea that jikook is still together. Jimin comments on other member's lives but he doesn't say to them what he says to Jk. When I watch Jk's lives, he's still the same Jk as before but now he sings about sex and has revealed his goals in life. He's on tiktok doing what people his age do. Jikook have had a long relationship where they have grown together so I'm thinking they are still figuring stuff out.

We've seen jikook together in the wild in NY and CT and Jimin was smiling in both leaked photos. Doesn't that tell you something?

People will try and convince me and write words but the only things that can convince me are jikook themselves. So I will wait and see what they have to show me. For now, I'm on the jikook train.

It's not about wanting, it's about observing.

Hope that helps.

[39oa]

hi! i’m slowly getting interested in f1 but i don’t really know how to start. so i was wondering if you had any content to recommend (except for the races of course) to get into the fandom, or anything else that could help, really.. thanks :)

oh anon i would love to help!!! are there any drivers/teams you're already particularly fond of or things you want to learn more about? i feel like it'd be easier to narrow down content if i understood your interests better since it's really something you can mold entirely to your own tastes and there are a million different ways to Enjoy and Consume the sport LOL. tbh i call myself an f1 fan but i mostly just rep oscar and in reality enjoy junior formulae more as a whole because i find the process of getting to f1 more intriguing than actually being in it... so it's really whatever you make of it! i'll try to divide my notes categorically so hopefully that helps a little bit but lmk if there's anything specific you're looking for :') and as always apologies in advance for my rambling 💔

getting into the actual sport

having a baseline understanding of the sport is obviously useful but i'm not sure how much you already know so i'll assume you can find super basic info about how seasons and points work! if you want to delve just a Bit further then:

i think chain bear is a decent youtube channel for easy explanations on some technical aspects and little things you may not have picked up on yet that will help when watching races

drive to survive is of course Not Great but it can be a nice and quick window into learning names and faces, even if a lot of it is ridiculously simplified or overexaggerated. it's basically like using duolingo for learning a new language in that it should be regarded as a semi-reliable supplemental material readily packaged for convenient consumption. if there are specific drivers you're interested in you can always pick and choose eps to consume decent Background Lore for, e.g. you can just watch s1e8 if you're a sharl fan

honestly not to shill for official f1 media but i do think f1tv is a pretty decent streaming platform when getting into the sport... definitely not saying you should subscribe to it (if it's even available in your country!) but just as an aside and maybe for future reference i do believe it's very friendly for new watchers because live races have different feeds that let you track race data (gaps, tyre usage, granular sector data during quali, etc.) and it also lets you switch between driver onboards which can be cool. moreover it has pre-race/post-race shows, technical analyses, archives of past seasons, all the f2/f3 content, documentaries, etc. so it's a pretty complete package! although a good amount of stuff gets x-posted to the official youtube channel so it's not a big deal

if you like podcasts, i think beyond the grid is cool because it has a fun variety of interviews (current drivers, retired drivers, tps, engineers, etc.) about both past and current events so you can basically seek out whatever you're interested in learning more about. otherwise i don't really listen to f1 podcasts regularly because i have weirdly low patience for them compared to hockey, but my friend told me that shift+f1 does yearly primers so that could be something useful to check out! (here's the 2023 season preview, i haven't checked it out but i thought i'd link anyway)

keeping up with news

obviously an important part of fandom is trying to keep up with current affairs, so if you haven't already then i would of course follow the f1 youtube channel + twitter account (or whatever other social media you use), f1 nowadays is extremely effective at marketing itself so it's not like hockey where you're fighting for your life waiting for the unfunniest puck personality video in existence to drop every 8 months. not that all f1 driver content is necessarily funny but there's probably a touch more investment in maintaining the illusion! anyway.

if you use reddit then r/formula1 is honestly probably the best aggregate source of f1 news and up-to-date info, i don't read everything there but it's pretty useful and easy to navigate. plus sometimes when i want to cause myself irreparable psychic damage from something that already pissed me off i can venture into a 500-comment section to get my blood boiling even more... 10/10 would recommend

other than that it's really like — follow official channels for any other drivers or teams you're fond of tbh, i do have a few motorsports journalists in my twitter list but since i respect the fact that some people don't enjoy endless news spam i'd maybe just recommend chris medland if you want a succinct live feed during races for the moment? f1 journalism is kind of godless so you don't *need* to follow that many reporters on a whole.

driver personality content

unfortunately i'll be showing my age when i say i don't have a tiktok account but now that i think about it that's probably a great source of information because it seems like f1 fandom is thriving over there!!! regardless the official f1 youtube does have a lot of little driver personality videos you can watch to get to know them more, and again i'd recommend checking out official team + driver channels for more tailored longform content. for ex just from very recent mcl fan pov they have an unboxed series with behind the scenes of select races and also loads of fun minigame content; every team should have at least SOMETHING to nibble on but certain teams are definitely more marketing-savvy than others (aka big 3 + mcl) 🥲

official f1: f1 has a yearly series called grill the grid with just mini quizzes that all the drivers compete in, some are less interesting but it's overall not bad content. the channel has a playlist for the 2021 gtgs which includes the iconic sebvettel world champion video LOL... actually if you sort the f1 channel by Most Viewed there are probably some fun classic videos in there (looking now it's a lot of crashes but you can ignore those lol), like press conference highlights and other convenient top 10 lists. for a random rec i was just nostalgically revisiting the 2019 rookie of the year video and it was getting to me a little bit!

sky sports f1 will also occasionally have good interview/inside content that you can check out, a lot of it is geolocked though (same with canal+ content in france). but for example i felt so much experiencing this random alex interview from last week... he is truly guy of this world

fan compilations: again if there are any drivers you like then you can just search up their names and there will be a ton of comps with Funny MomentsTM, sometimes it helps to just pick a guy and see how you feel about him as you consume content because your true interests will organically develop and surface eventually... sorry i feel like i'm writing a manifesto on fandom in general which is definitely not what you asked for LOL. but like twitch quartet (aka charles, george, alex, and lando) have a ton of silly streaming highlights you can find on youtube, lando has a gaming company called quadrant that he does videos with which can be uhhh hit or miss depending on how much you enjoy Lad Culture, etc...

really it's so easy to get hyperspecific with content once you pick a team or driver so i'm not sure what else to recommend on a general level but that's what i've got off the top of my head! fandom definitely skews a lot toward rb/merc/fer/mcl so it's easiest to consume both video content and fic for them, but if you're willing to go trawling for interviews then you can really get invested in anyone... fandom culture also varies so wildly depending on how you follow the sport and which drivers you invest in emotionally. my closest friend is a "chirlie" as they say and it really is an experience rife with organizational trauma and TFW You're Beholden To The Stranglehold Of Your Legacy so that's always a great pick if you're craving maximum narrative evisceration, or if you're in it for the fic then you could literally just get really into maxiel, but i'm basically chilling in my land of rookie stonks and sit down to watch non-mcl content maybe once a month.

honestly i only follow like 3.5 f1 fans on tumblr because i'm objectively terrified by the size of the fandom HLSHDFLKH so i mostly consume things in a vacuum and talk to like one friend 😭 but there loads of cool creators out here and you can always find a few gifmakers/fanartists/etc. and just follow the rabbit hole from there!!! best of luck and hope this helps >__<

[shiroselia]

Fair Warning: This post is very rambly. Super fucking long. And has a bunch of paragraphs about topics that to be quite frank deserve their own post. This is me TLDRing like 7 different essays because I have a lot to say and can't shut the fuck up but this is despite it all still a tumblr post.

The fact that SSO exists at all in the year 2023 is not an achievement in and of itself.

That's the TLDR to this post I'm about to write because that's basically what I think, but there is a longer discussion to have here. And I think it's a discussion worth having because despite it all we still live in a world where gender makes people irrationally fucking mad, and so therefore here I am to talk shit about a horse game which I have called mediocre all day.

Well, if you don't want to read this entire thing, here's all you need to know:

If Animal Crossing in the year of 2020 can define the first year of the pandemic for basically half the internet, then SSE can optimise their game a little better in the year 2023.

And here's wonderwall: (But before wonderwall, obvious disclaimer that I'm just one cis not-het woman Swede who has opinions about things, I'm not going to solve centuries of oppression on my fucking tumblr dashboard. Neither are SSE gonna solve it, nor immortalise it, with their mediocre MMO, we all know this we are smart, let's go.)

To SSO's credit, I think it's nice that SSE has wholly embraced the fact that they are a very feminine game primarily played by and targeted towards young girls, despite it all we still need more of that, and it's cool that they're trying the most. (Just wish they wouldn't completely throw their especially above average transmasc audience under the bus for  this but that is genuinely not my post to make as I am not transmasc and this post isn't about that, but all I'm saying is that SSE aren't flawless and I was here for both 2011 and 2022 so I happen to know when they literally lie about why this game was created in the first place.)

However,

There is a difference between "We want to bring quality to this audience which usually doesn't get quality" and "Because we're the only ones targeting this audience we don't need to worry about quality". Settling for the latter, especially today, isn't actually that progressive nor is it helping anyone, especially if we're talking about the game's general quality.

So, I know that talking about like, what is a "good" game or whatever will always be a wall to wall conversation, because everyone has different ideas of what good means. (see: Some people going "I enjoy this so it's good" and some going "I enjoy this but it Isn't good" at Dorian's poll) This isn't a problem at all it's simply how the human experience works. However, if we're talking about the good as in "objective" quality, then I think we need to remember something.

It's not 2011 anymore, and being a girls game, standalone, isn't an achievement anymore. We expect some fucking effort by now.

We don't live in a world where you as an 8 year old kid have to pick between playing COD or playing SSO exclusively (a choice made in 2011 by me as an 8 year old for reference, I literally was there, don't worry). We have a lot wider a selection of games to choose from, and we live in an industry which has also gotten a Lot better at actually celebrating less traditionally masculine games.

For example, Animal Crossing and Stardew Valley, to name two examples, would probably be pretty dismissed in 2011, had they released then, because they're games that in general are seen as more feminine. (Slower, cute aesthetics, about farming, has cute little guys in them in AC's case.) But nowadays, they're some of the most popular games around, and they're games that most people, regardless of gender, have played. And obviously people still make fun of them, but it isn't cool to make fun of them anymore. Y'all remember when everyone and their mother was playing New Horizons as it came out during the perfect time for everyone to play it just as the pandemic started? And that's a really feminine game if we want to divide games into feminine and masculine, which we at the end of the day will do because humans are obsessed with binary opposition. And it still defined a whole year for a whole bunch of people!

And obviously you might say that it's unfair to compare little ol' SSO to these games. And it is. If we're comparing them as games on a technical equal ground. But we're not. I'm exemplifying that games that are more feminine/played by a lot of women don't have to suck.

So by, conciously or subconciously, implying that SSO Can't be as good as other games or Shouldn't Be Expected To Be simply because women's games just Are worse, you're dismissing the fact that feminine games Do succeed, especially recently. Not only on the market, but as entertainment. And no matter what game you make, no matter what damn resources you have, you better make sure that your audience can fucking play it with the specs you yourself recommend. Because letting a company get away with settling for mediocrity further normalises girls' games not needing to be as good because they're already so shit that someone even trying is good enough. Which in 2023, is Not good enough. Even young girls deserve not to shill out tens of thousands, which they Do Not Have, for super PCs just because SSE forgot to optimise their open world game.

Lastly, all I'm saying is that if we're going to say "Yes, SSO is good." Don't follow it up with "Compared to women's games from 2005 that are so dead nobody remembers them anymore." Because SSO is a game that exists in 2023, and at some point we have to acknowledge that. And if this game wants to survive another decade, I think the first people who need to move away from 2011, is its audience.

Women’s games don’t have to suck. And implying that they do says more about you than it does about the game. Especially if your idea of “good standard” for women’s games. are almost 20 years old. At some point, we All have to move into the present times. Even if your game of choice is a little behind.

[grandhotelabyss]

What kind of music do you typically listen to? Are there any musicians that have inspired or influenced your work in any way?

I pretty much answered this one here back at the end of 2023. For an update and more specific answer to your question about inspiration: lately, I've been trying to listen to at least period-specific music as I work on the Invisible College research and preparation, like Beethoven and Chopin paired with the Romantics, some Wagner with Shaw, Rachmaninov with Conrad, etc. I'll make an attempt at Schoenberg when I get to Beckett for the full Adorno trip. The algorithm has really been insisting on Sibelius lately, however, which I'm guessing Adorno would call fascist. (I never read Adorno's music criticism, though I studied—mainly visual art and literature—with one of its distinguished translators.) Also, speaking of fascism, even though I gave Dune: Part Two a bad review, I have been listening to that soundtrack for better or worse; this is a plebeian taste, I'm sure, or maybe "Reddit" or whatever other insult, but I like a lot of the ambient soundtrack music popular on YouTube: Zimmer, Einaudi, Richter, that style of material. For some reason, maybe also algorithmic, I lately went back to that electronica group I remembered from the '90s, VNV Nation, and was interested to see they had some new material; this has been a recent favorite, somewhat relatable lyrics if you ask me. Speaking of the '90s or even the '80s, I listened to a lot of music from that era when I was writing Major Arcana last year to create the appropriate late-20th-century Dark-Age-of-Comics mood, everything from Joy Division and The Smiths up through Portishead and Massive Attack and the like, and Americans, too, my melodramatic preference for Tori Amos and the Smashing Pumpkins being well-known to my regular readers, as well as "Malibu"-era Hole (even if she [allegedly] did kill Kurt, I like "Malibu" better than any of his stuff). That and some of the jazz favored by my character Ellen Chandler, especially Sketches of Spain and A Love Supreme, which are thematically crucial to the novel. What else? I'm excited for the apparent Joanna Newsom revival-comeback. She might be the most inspirational musical artist of my generation just by her example: create your own strange world, and listeners will come. (I wrote a little tribute to her on here a few years ago.) The aforementioned algorithm knows I compared Lana to Shakespeare 10 years ago—she had to forgive the rest of you for how you treated her; she didn't have to forgive me!—so I usually happily let it give me all the visionary "sad girls" past and present. But, and just in case this was a subtext of your question, there being so few ways nowadays to draw the line between macroculture and meso- and microcultures, I must halt at the frontier of Ms. Swift's empire.

[drifloonz]

You know what would be cute? Steven with an s/o who's a hair dresser. Someone needs to help this man's hair, omg. Get the tangles out of it and do something for the frizz. He probably doesn't give two shits about looks but I bet he'd be super happy to have someone care for him like that. Just like... the feeling of someone running their hands through his messy hair and gently combing through it. (My man is not ready for a brush. He's too tangled for that right away.) Who doesn't like a nice clean scalp?

If Miki gets jealous maybe they can work out a way to get her involved. Like little hats or wigs or something. No bows though. Anything remotely rope-like reminds her of you-know-what.

You don't have to do any headcanons or anything if you don't want, I'm kind of just rambling here, but I'm always up for other people's insights.

yeaa!!!!! ! ! ! give steven self care and a bath and his fuckin hair done ( impossible challenge ) . it probably is so long sometimes where he sometimes gets grass and twigs and whatever in his hair and he just picks them out later and calls it a day.

he used to care SOOOO much about his hair and his general 'persona' when he was a trainer, i'd think. he wanted to be that cool, confident trainer that red and blue and any other young kids in pallet ( and kanto in general ) could look up to. he liked being that rolemodel figure!!!! he adored it sm ( even though he wasn't as cool as he thought he was because he was dorky and nervous sometimes - only around the people that knew him like daisy and rarely mike, but still. )

he literally had it all straightened and carefully styled and then After the incident he just went okay! Time to be depressed and not take care of myself. Cuz yk thats what depression does to a mf. even though i do prefer him with the messy hair over the boring straight long brown hair but yk.

nowadays i think the literal MOST he does with his hair is just tie it up in a ponytail if its getting in his way too much, and he doesn't do that often either. he obviously takes baths and showers but his perception of time is fucked and he's still depressed on a fluctuating scale of "i'm doing better than i was the year miki died" to "i am doing so much worse, i'm just not murdering people about it ( for now )" so yk. it be how it be.

i think he doesn't like the sensation of other people using combs specifically on his hair bc ( projects onto him ) the like tugging feeling when he isn't in control of it pisses him off and makes him want to just hurt whoevers doing it ( which i think is also why he cared a lot more ab his hair back in the day - mike used to do it for him probably but it frustrated steven so he just did it himself after probably like, he taught himself or daisy taught him ). but everything else is fine and he enjoys his hair being played with and gently brushed and all'a that.

give this man the self care he needs 2023

[an-aura-about-you]

I Was a Queer Salvation Army Bell Ringer

Part 1: Job Searching and the Application Process

I have decided to just bite the bullet and start writing about this to get it all off my chest. I had been doing some research, and there is still some research I intend to do, but it is beside the main point of this mostly anecdotal writing I intend to do. I also decided to make it basically a miniseries as opposed to one long post dumping about everything.

So here we go.

It was the end of October of this year, 2023, and I needed a new washing machine. Between that and the upcoming holiday season, I figured the time was right to get a seasonal job. Surely there would be plenty available, right?

Well, honestly, no. Even during this time of year, job searching was pretty miserable. Job searching has been pretty miserable in general, but even the added jobs to cover the busy Christmas season were pretty miserable. They have a reputation for being easy to get, but I didn't get any sort of word back from most of the seasonal positions I applied to. And that didn't even factor in my limited availability, which would have been the nail in the coffin for most retail positions since I wouldn't be able to help out on any infamous Black Friday sales.

But while hunting for a seasonal job, one listing caught my eye that seemed unusual: Bell Ringer for the Salvation Army.

Not unusual for the reason you might think, however. I had actually worked as a bell ringer for the Salvation Army before back in the autumn and winter of 2006. I was a college student and unaware at the time both of the Salvation Army's anti-queer reputation and my own place in the queer community. I was starting to get hints that I was queer in the classic bisexual-to-asexual pipeline, but I wouldn't learn the term asexual and realize it applied to me until 2010.

What I was surprised about is that I thought they were volunteer only for bell ringers NOW, because it had been some time since I had seen a listing. On top of that, the pay was. Ok, the pay wasn't good by my own personal metrics because almost none of the local job listings are paying well. But the listed pay was better than the state minimum wage. More on that later.

So I decided, "Fuck it. If they choose to hire me, I can't resist the irony of the Salvation Army willingly giving a queer person money."

I clicked the 1-tap apply button on my job search app.

This resulted in an email being sent to me asking me to apply online through the Salvation Army's website. Weird since that defeats the purpose and convenience of the 1-tap apply button, but whatever. I do the thing we all have to do nowadays where you create an account that you know you're never going to use again and apply for the job.

I get a call a couple of days later. It's the woman from the Salvation Army heading up the red kettle program. She asks me to come to the office and fill out a paper application. For some reason, sunk cost fallacy perhaps, I agree and continue with the Sisyphean effort of applying for this job.

When I actually go to the office, I find flyers for the bell ringing job. These advertise that no, they are only offering minimum wage pay for it instead of the range listed on the app. I wish I had taken a screenshot of it because I can't find it now, but my best guess on what happened is the job search app added an estimated range on the job, as it sometimes does, and I missed the part where it said, "estimated pay." My memory is not necessarily a thing to be trusted, but job listings aren't either, so at least we're a match on that.

I fill out the paper application, and I'm informed that orientation is next week. No job interview, no hemming or hawing, the simple act of applying has got me in. They're just looking for warm bodies that are mobile enough to ring a bell. This makes sense to some degree, and indeed it was part of the appeal of the job. I knew from past experience that it is a simple job that requires minimal to no training, theoretically the easiest money one can make without being born into it.

Just like that, I was once again a bell ringer for the Salvation Army.

[seancamerons]

1, 13, 21, 24 & 28

What’s something new that you tried in a fic this year? How did it turn out and would you do it again?

I tried to write more often in the past year, 2023 period. i think it turned out better because I've been more motivated to do better and write more. I'm more determined than ever to write the content I want to see or wanna see done differently. probably yes, i will continue the trend in 2024. it'll always be degrassi, i rarely get ideas for other shows.

-I answered 13 previously. -

21. Share your favorite piece of dialogue

This is a small snippet I liked writing from Faking it.

"I don't know, we never talked about that. Like what do you mean?" Sean sighed, "I was like Mr. Hero in the newspapers but I didn't feel like I was any of that."

"The truth is just that it was and it was a reality I didn't want to live in. I just hope if there ever was some weird alternate universe it didn't happen to me."

"I feel guilty I wasn't forthcoming, it was obviously a hard time but I didn't really know what you were going through."

"I'll be honest for the first time and the last time.

Putting in a read-more cut right here!

I didn't talk to Sauve, in fact, I don't think I talked to anyone at all about it. After the shooting, at first, I was just really sad. What I mistook for sadness was this feeling of numbness all over my body. When I wasn't feeling numb, I felt guilty about what my role was and I had a lot of time to think about that part, a lot of time. Time seemed to pass by so fast, I had awful nightmares things didn't turn the way they did so I was hardly sleeping. All the while, in the months afterward, my grades were abysmal. My social life faltered, shutting nearly everyone out even close friends. After that, I went through the motions that I was okay, like fake it 'till you make it. I just wasn't and I wasn't making it. It was probably more than obvious. It took a while for the images to escape my head, the thoughts that ran through me at that very moment. How many nights I wished I was simply gone so I wouldn't see it anymore kind of level of depression. Finally though, when I did feel fine though, everybody just wanted me to show it and that's where I struggled. So I just stuffed it and pretended and now I guess I'll be okay but it takes took time to get to that place. I'm not proud though because it can always come back."

She let out a slight chuckle bringing them back to the reality of their situation, "I guess you can say I'm a good actress." She became essentially a walking, living breathing shell of what or who she was. Nowadays and back then she was lost and not making the decisions or moves she'd typically make. She didn't know who she was anymore. "So yeah, to answer your question, it was hard."

Sean was saddened by this, "It's not funny though. It's serious."

"Did I say it wasn't serious?

"No," He answered downcast before he asked his friend beside him who had just confessed so much about her inner feelings. "Em, why didn't you talk to me?"

She blurted in defense, "I did," and then added, "I am."

"I meant like over the summer, last year I was a call or an IM away. You made it seem like you were perfectly fine and okay. We're friends, and friends talk." Sean uncomfortably lamented out loud. "You were like a goal to be, I wanted to be fine like you were or how I believed how you led me to believe or whatever."

"I didn't want you or anyone to see me like that." Emma remarked bitterly in a hushed tone, "pathetic o-or weak."

They stopped walking, and Sean faced her and softly told her, "You're not though, you're not any of that you hear me? You're strong, stronger than I wish I was. You always were to me."

The words fell freely as Emma found the words ever so easy to describe and quantify her thoughts for Sean. To see why she kept it to herself up until that moment she was never this honest about what she had gone through. "Even the strong have their moments, deep down we're not that different and even the best people struggle. It's not the end of everything in the entire world if that makes sense. It's something I wish I knew then and struggle with it now. Sean, you're one of the strongest people I know. Seeing you get the help you needed is something very brave and also important. I don't know what I'd do if something bad were to happen to you again. I feared what you'd do if something bad ever happened to you. Heck, I never thought I'd ever see you again as if you were gone forever."

"Forever is a long time, Em. You know, I couldn't stay away forever, is that why you looked back? I always wondered why, why did you look back?"

"Because I, I don't know."

"There's gotta be a reason."

"Albeit a stupid one."

"No, tell me. That's just avoidance, no secrets remember? I can handle it."

"Not sure you can but here goes, because, well there are lots of reasons. I thought it was goodbye for good. Sean, you're the only one who ever would be able to silently sit there and without any words or explanation know what I was feeling you know, about what we went through, and in one swoop or in this case, one drive by you was gone."

Losing support in Sean, or so she thought was support, they had just gotten on a good speaking path, the apology meant a lot and was one of the reasons she took the shooting hard. Toby avoided Emma after, almost blaming her for being the straw that broke Rick. Sean simply was gone to her. "We were supposed to be there for each other, friends do that. I know you needed to be away to deal with what happened and I'll never shame you for it because it helped you. I wish I had that kind of escape. I wanted to run away. I had nowhere to run though. It's not something we could've discussed over IM or the phone. It was a face-to-face sort of thing and I couldn't face you with my truth."

There were also a few things she left out, a conversation for another day she supposed. Now they were finally on the same page. Sean let her talk, he said to her once she finished. "Now that we're standing here and you shared some things, no judgment okay?"

Emma answered, "No judgment, promise? No matter what we don't hold this stuff against one another?"

"Promise." They both paused as they interlocked pinkies for a moment, he softly asked her, "How about now, are you okay?"

Emma shook her head no as if she needed to clear the air, "Not exactly but getting there. I guess I needed you here in town, but not in a selfish way. It's not 'cause I loved you in a romantic sense. I don't have some hidden agenda or we were wrapped up in some twisted and toxic relationship. I didn't want it to be like that. Like we are now but different in an indescribable way. At the same time, I didn't want you to see my bad side."

"You know I don't care about that stuff. Just because we ended, doesn't mean I disliked you. In fact, I thought of you often and hoped you were well. It's why I reached out. I guess a part of me felt a little guilty."

"I figured. I knew when we were together, we stopped talking about things that bothered us or upset us. The bad stuff, confrontation, and stuff are why we blew up the way we did in the past. We didn't communicate, we talked but not for real. Not like this. I'd be lying if I didn't hate it."

"I'm glad you shared all that, I feel that way too just replace some things with other things, and felt that way a lot. How does it feel now that we do communicate?"

She thought for a moment as if a weight was lifted from her as she smiled softly, "Better."

"You got to promise me, we have talks like this more often? I feel a lot better too. Us being friends, I like it."

"Promise, and I like it too." Emma echoed the sentiment as she softly replied with a grin. When he wasn't facing her, yet, she knew she had a few secrets left to tell and she only knew those pinky promises won't matter.

24. What’s something that surprised you while you were working on a fic? Did it change the story?

It didn't happen in 2023 necc., but rather an earlier work. I try not to change or switch gears this one had me do just that.

So for Backtrack (idk if others know, it's like a 10-year old semma fix it fic I've been tinkering with for too long lol😆)

I had this whole idea for Craig and Manny to reignite their past relationship to ultimately have an endgame because I guess I wasn't too big on Janny at the time. I DON'T KNOW, it was a long time ago.

Anyway, I was writing the big Janny split and I started crying while writing the big moment, (embarrassing). I was like, well shit. I wrote the fuck out of a breakup between them, I mean I guess I got into it because I actually started to miss them, writing them, giving them dialogue and such and I decided to throw caution to the wind, abandon my initial plan in favor of bringing Janny into epic romance territory.

28. How did you recharge between fics?

Short answer: I take breaks if I experience burnout or get busy with other things irl or otherwise, and revisit it later, or long answer: I don't period and that means a. I abandon, or b. i take a long hiatus from said fic until a new plot bunny comes along and it reinvents my love for an oldie, c. a secret third option which combines a and b. basically or completely abandon it because that's the thing I do if worse comes to worse if the muse never comes back or i just get sick of it, or write myself a corner where none of it works for me.

basically my fic graveyard goes like this:

orange car of secrets is one i abandoned and never saw through no matter how times i'd tried to figure out what to do. (abandoned sometime in 2014)

* I kind of blended some concepts of this fic in together forever, another wip that i lowkey abandoned but still have hope for. it got me through the pandemic era (2020) after all!)

starlet and the dealer another abandoned because it just is irrelevant, self-explanatory. after all, its a bit of a soapy au season 13, a romance between zoe rivas and zig novak, so i kind of didn't have a choice. who wants to read something like that, let alone write it, so next. (abandoned sometime in 2015)

i also have a ton of half-baked stories, upcoming chapters for other unfinished works, potential one-shots, and drabbles, fic prompts, and idk if they would see the light of day or are being worked on in downtime and may show up once i promise or stick to my promise to finish just one!

I've been writing fics of the semma persuasion for the better part of a decade, over a decade so it's just common. I feel comfortable knowing these characters I typically write, as if they were my own but I create some bg or original characters to support the canon mains, and play like they're sim characters or something I don't know, but it's fun to write and I've become more comfortable writing au's and random newbies/oc's as a result of writing more, I think my vocab has grown a little better too.

(i'll leave you with a fun fact: ) fun fact: the initial title of my most recent work in progress (where are you now?) was lucky and there is/was a really shitty version on an older account from years ago on fanfiction, it's been reworked and retooled since (thank god).

to be fair, i was like 14 when i came up with the idea and it showed. it was VERY bad. some things remain from it, it was very melodramatic (not that where are you now? isn't) it's just I can't explain, I was so wrong and naive tbh.)✨

💌 thank you for the ask! if anyone is willing to send asks about fics and other things, don't be shy.