#Drops this and goes into hiding
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Fair Warning: This post is very rambly. Super fucking long. And has a bunch of paragraphs about topics that to be quite frank deserve their own post. This is me TLDRing like 7 different essays because I have a lot to say and can't shut the fuck up but this is despite it all still a tumblr post.
The fact that SSO exists at all in the year 2023 is not an achievement in and of itself.
That's the TLDR to this post I'm about to write because that's basically what I think, but there is a longer discussion to have here. And I think it's a discussion worth having because despite it all we still live in a world where gender makes people irrationally fucking mad, and so therefore here I am to talk shit about a horse game which I have called mediocre all day.
Well, if you don't want to read this entire thing, here's all you need to know:
If Animal Crossing in the year of 2020 can define the first year of the pandemic for basically half the internet, then SSE can optimise their game a little better in the year 2023.
And here's wonderwall: (But before wonderwall, obvious disclaimer that I'm just one cis not-het woman Swede who has opinions about things, I'm not going to solve centuries of oppression on my fucking tumblr dashboard. Neither are SSE gonna solve it, nor immortalise it, with their mediocre MMO, we all know this we are smart, let's go.)
To SSO's credit, I think it's nice that SSE has wholly embraced the fact that they are a very feminine game primarily played by and targeted towards young girls, despite it all we still need more of that, and it's cool that they're trying the most. (Just wish they wouldn't completely throw their especially above average transmasc audience under the bus for  this but that is genuinely not my post to make as I am not transmasc and this post isn't about that, but all I'm saying is that SSE aren't flawless and I was here for both 2011 and 2022 so I happen to know when they literally lie about why this game was created in the first place.)
However,
There is a difference between "We want to bring quality to this audience which usually doesn't get quality" and "Because we're the only ones targeting this audience we don't need to worry about quality". Settling for the latter, especially today, isn't actually that progressive nor is it helping anyone, especially if we're talking about the game's general quality.
So, I know that talking about like, what is a "good" game or whatever will always be a wall to wall conversation, because everyone has different ideas of what good means. (see: Some people going "I enjoy this so it's good" and some going "I enjoy this but it Isn't good" at Dorian's poll) This isn't a problem at all it's simply how the human experience works. However, if we're talking about the good as in "objective" quality, then I think we need to remember something.
It's not 2011 anymore, and being a girls game, standalone, isn't an achievement anymore. We expect some fucking effort by now.
We don't live in a world where you as an 8 year old kid have to pick between playing COD or playing SSO exclusively (a choice made in 2011 by me as an 8 year old for reference, I literally was there, don't worry). We have a lot wider a selection of games to choose from, and we live in an industry which has also gotten a Lot better at actually celebrating less traditionally masculine games.
For example, Animal Crossing and Stardew Valley, to name two examples, would probably be pretty dismissed in 2011, had they released then, because they're games that in general are seen as more feminine. (Slower, cute aesthetics, about farming, has cute little guys in them in AC's case.) But nowadays, they're some of the most popular games around, and they're games that most people, regardless of gender, have played. And obviously people still make fun of them, but it isn't cool to make fun of them anymore. Y'all remember when everyone and their mother was playing New Horizons as it came out during the perfect time for everyone to play it just as the pandemic started? And that's a really feminine game if we want to divide games into feminine and masculine, which we at the end of the day will do because humans are obsessed with binary opposition. And it still defined a whole year for a whole bunch of people!
And obviously you might say that it's unfair to compare little ol' SSO to these games. And it is. If we're comparing them as games on a technical equal ground. But we're not. I'm exemplifying that games that are more feminine/played by a lot of women don't have to suck.
So by, conciously or subconciously, implying that SSO Can't be as good as other games or Shouldn't Be Expected To Be simply because women's games just Are worse, you're dismissing the fact that feminine games Do succeed, especially recently. Not only on the market, but as entertainment. And no matter what game you make, no matter what damn resources you have, you better make sure that your audience can fucking play it with the specs you yourself recommend. Because letting a company get away with settling for mediocrity further normalises girls' games not needing to be as good because they're already so shit that someone even trying is good enough. Which in 2023, is Not good enough. Even young girls deserve not to shill out tens of thousands, which they Do Not Have, for super PCs just because SSE forgot to optimise their open world game.
Lastly, all I'm saying is that if we're going to say "Yes, SSO is good." Don't follow it up with "Compared to women's games from 2005 that are so dead nobody remembers them anymore." Because SSO is a game that exists in 2023, and at some point we have to acknowledge that. And if this game wants to survive another decade, I think the first people who need to move away from 2011, is its audience.
Womenâs games donât have to suck. And implying that they do says more about you than it does about the game. Especially if your idea of âgood standardâ for womenâs games. are almost 20 years old. At some point, we All have to move into the present times. Even if your game of choice is a little behind.
#Anyways sorry for this#This also goes into another thing I've been seeing which is comparing SSO to older games that are long since dead#Eh hate to break it to you people#But SSO exists in 2023#And we Need to acknowledge that#Drops this and goes into hiding#This is very tldry and as stated I could make separate posts about each of these topics#And tbfh it kinda switches points halfway through#But I have So Much Shit to say about this so here it is#Basically#SSO is an old game with a lot of outdated leftover shit to figure out#And#SSO exists in 2023 and at some point we need to judge it as such#Can and should coexist
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sheâs like if the virgin mary smoked a pack of pall malls every day đŹ
#sims 4#the sims community#simblr#ts4#sims 4 edit#mysims#drawing/editing these tears took actual years off my life#editing this in general did but the tears were my hell#her name is norma jean named after her grandmother but she goes by either jeanie or jj#she works at the local convenience store and bartends at night when shes able to pick up shifts#shes the worst bartender in existence and refuses to lift anything over 2 pounds#she once convinced a customer to buy her a sweater because she looked a little cold while working#she lied and said her manager never lets them turn on the heat and casually mentioned pennys was selling her favorite sweater#and then described in detail exactly where the sweater was in the store#all she had to do was blink her big brown eyes and call them baby a few times and they immediately folded#she goes to church 7 days a week even though she hates it because that's what she did when her mom was still alive#and its one of the few things that helps her feel close to her mom#her mom died after she had to drop out of highschool to take care of her#she holds a lot of resentment for having to give up such a big part of her life#but at the same time blames herself for not being able to make her mom better#she doesnt believe in banks and hides money around her house to store it but she's also super forgetful#she'll randomly find money around the house and then treat herself like it was present she meant to leave for her future self#she loves crosswords but treats it like a fun game and refuses to check if her answers are ever right#there's ur fun little facts about jeanie đ«”đŒ
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Previous // Next
Byrd: Whyâre you scared of water? Levi: Iâm not. Byrd: There must be a reason. Levi: Why is anyone scared of anything? Like why are you scared of the dark, or why is Wren scared of blood nâ stuff? Wren: âCause itâs gross and no oneâs supposed to bleed, swimming is fun. Byrd: I guess you could drown if you couldnât swim or whatever. Levi: I think it started when I was a kid nâ almost drowned in the bath. Byrd: How? Levi: I donât know, my mom was probably being shit-.. I barely remember. Byrd: Enough to be scared though. Levi: Apparently. [Byrd floated aimlessly on his back for a moment, thoughtfully peering at the clouds] Byrd: Dad says youâre supposed to do stuff youâre scared of or it gets worse, like heâs always turning the lights out on me or shoving our cuts nâ bruises in Wrenâs face-.. in a nice way though, yâknow? Levi: Is it working? Wren: Kinda. Byrd: Why donât you just stick a foot in? Levi: No thanks. Byrd: Câmon, no oneâs gonna shove you. Levi: Nope. Byrd: Pfft. Oscar: Christ, Byrd.. what the hell are you doing in there?! That cast is gonna stink. Byrd: Oh-.. oops. Oscar: Get out and put it in the sun! Oscar: Now. Byrd: Iâm cominG-.. itâs getting chopped off soon anyway, right? Oscar: Yeah, and the poor doctorâs gonna pass out from your stank.
#ts4#sims 4#simblr#ts4 story#sims story#forever in between#fib#oscar finch#robin finch#wren finch#byrd finch#levi sears#how quickly levi dropped the pretence of not being scared sdkjskj#u can't hide from these no-nonsense inquisitive finch children levi#also that cast is fkin ruined btw it probably already stinks to high heaven#đ€ą#he's not supposed to swim with his hearing aids in either so there goes another pair#this BOI#also also.. wren bby ur in for such a treat soon enough đ
đ#twdrowningmention#ough#;-;
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Ended my day with some magma on the @daycarefriendpickup discord!
Doodle of Sun from my waterpark au
#magma#crunch art#Daycare attendant au#sb daycare attendant#waterpark au#the tiki bots are usually the lifeguards but sun will also attend a station now and then#some parent dropped their sunglasses and he decided to have some fun before returning them to the proper owner#just gonna hide some lore in the tags donât mind me#the waterpark attendants pride themselves on no lost items with complete servalence#if something goes missing it was for good reason#dca fandom#maybe I should end every day with a doodle haha#waterspark
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ghost of, diana khoi nguyen / neighborhood #2 (laika), arcade fire / beck idalus / antigone, sophocles / nintendo 64, alex g / big jacket, car seat headrest / mothercoyote / ghost of, diana khoi nguyen
#personal#Anyway. drops this and goes back into hiding#feeling unwell. Nobody hmu#suicide#hanging#death#c!crimeboys#dsmp#dsmp web weaving#tw suicide#suicide tw#hanging tw#tw hanging
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#my art#arcaea#insight#compassion#Um should i start putting arcaea as their last name LMFAO#⊠iâll add it to all the character tags when i open tumblr on laptopâŠ#anyways expect this shit to be ooc when update drops tomorrow! orr like 17ish hours for me#at the time of posting#but uhhh#its like skg throws herself into loving miracles (which finding true miracles was her real conviction)#and loving other worlds and creations in general#to not focus on the fact she isnt receiving any love back (and the last time Ever was from compassion who she left behind with that world)#and like by throwing herself i mean she goes completely bonkers Freak territory in loving#girl what if the real miracle was compassionâs hand hmm#jkjk#in the first pic look at that fool focused on whatever cube she made instead of compassion looking right at her come on man#i wonder at what point skg began to feel unsettled#im so intrigued by that little bit of her story#HOORAY FOR LORE PLEASE L0W1RO THROW ME GOOD CRUMBS#also yeah it starts off one sided between them (compassion -> skg)#f for compassion guys she could Not get skg to stay#im not entirely sure why for this next bit#but i think compassion has some slight cheeky vibes#more of a front when sheâs older .whatever countless years is#so like. âfound you!â is said like hide n seek game#(how would skg confront her anyway knowing that she left her behind)#oh and compassion was taller when they were young but for some reason skg just shot up in height lololol#yeah sorry mess of tags Guys i really need arcaea update NOW
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instead of just cross eyes and star eyes distinguishing dynasties in khaenri'ah, why do some khaenri'ahns cover one eye specifically? thereâs many things that seem interconnected regarding the lore:
crimson moon turning around to look like an eye; irmin the one-eyed king; the unknown godâs cubes containing eyes in their design (same ones present in the cataclysm as well as the crimson moon), her glitching looking like arlecchinoâs, and the four pointed star pattern that appeared when she showed up to the twins; forbidden knowledge and nibelungâs influence; fischl's auge der verurteilung aka eye of condemnation (crimson eye) and her skin's description "o holiest of sovereigns, high princess of immernachtreich (kingdom of evernight)!".
kaeya's note about the alberich saying "i saved this one memento from the fire 'father' made while he wasnât paying attention. this was in violation of our principles. our clan's affairs should never be recorded" and "though we could not restore khaenri'ah to life, we of the alberich clan should lead lives as those who blaze like fire, rather than those who wallow in the embers [small piece of burning or glowing coal or wood in a dying fire]", father being in quotation marks and references to fire and ashes; the orphanage in khaenri'ah that wanted to house children from destroyed worlds and non-threats that leaked into the kingdom, in hopes of finding beings from beyond the sky who could transcend the gods; perinheri's first memory being transversing something like a chimney, filled with ash and being asked if he wasn't dead just for him to see the eye (crimson moon) and being told he was reborn; dust and the blood of of dragons (or dragon-like beings like durin and elynas) being connected to rhinedottir and the art of khemia; fire as rebirth and life but also, the balemoon blood specifically being connected to loss of memories and loss of memory being equivalent to death (not physical); Â despite the orphanage never being able to find that transcendal person, it had many unusual individuals who became knights of the kingdom.
irmin as the first divine halberd (that once pierced the axis mundi [cosmic/world axis, world pillar, center of the world, world tree, etc.] and connected the nine worlds), the prinzessin der verurteilungas (fischl) as the last one; fischl and kaeya comparing themselves to one another and their parallels to irmin and odin; der ring des nibelungen, in which the dwarf (or nibelung) alberich creates a ring capable of controlling the world, using gold he stole from the rhinemaidens (or rheintöchter "rhine-daughters"). the conflict that arises over the ownership of this ring eventually leads to the destruction of the gods and their home, valhalla.
irminsul (irmin + sul) meaning great pillar and being a reference to the yggdrasil, the tree that supports the universe; the description of the item silver twig â collected in the center of the world - talking about a sage that hanged himself upside down in the irminsul tree to gain knowledge of the runes and the cosmos, then going into a secret kingdom down its roots [also a reference to hanged man in tarot that symbolizes wisdom, divination, sacrifice, prophecy, etc.]; odin who hung himself upside down from the sacred world tree, yggdrasil, for nine days and nights sacrificing his eye and throwing himself on his spear (gungir) as a ritual sacrifice in order to obtain secret wisdom; memories, fire and crimson moon hand in hand with the irminsul, king irmin and the concept of fate; the fake sky, the stars and being able to see fate but also fate being a means of the heavenly principles to control the world (neuvillette calling it puppet strings); khaenri'ah, a supposed godless nation but the crimson moon dynasty revering the moon (and hilichurls worshiping istaroth); the crimson moon having an eye on humanity and always being present associated with punishment and destruction (fall of gurabad, remuria and the catclysm).
crimson moon's semblance (arlecchinoâs weapon) implying the crimson moon sought vengeance (âfew survived the utter destruction of their kind, hiding in the shadows where the sun did not shine, longing for the crimson moon to decree their desire for vengeance be repaidâ); the design of the weapon and arlecchinoâs boss attacks resembling the double helix present in deathly statuette material dropped by abyss heralds, abyss lectors and shadowy husks, which has a single red eye. it apparently whispers "see, my child. all that lies under the throne of heaven shall be destroyed by upheaval. the eternal peace of the pitch-dark void shall embrace us all.â as you gaze at it.
the abyss order being founded by chlothar alberich and pierro being the first harbinger; the "sinner" â the crystal in chains from the chasm, protected by an abyss herald - not being a god but still worshipped by the abyss order. the voice stating to chlothar and the travelerâs twin that he "[knows their] fate well" and urged them to become a "transcendent one" saying he would "shed a tear at the end of time... as i gaze back upon your life". he also imbued chlothar with the power of the abyss, which alleviated his worsening conditions. the âsinnerâ refered to chlothar as âdear creatureâ; dainsleif, pierro and kaeya being examples of khaenriahns who hide their right eye; dainsleif being called âbough keeperâ, bough is a branch of a tree, but also his constellation being a snake ring like ouroboros â representing the eternal renewal cycle of life, death and rebirth; the loom of fate being an operation of the abyss order first encountered during "a herald without adherents" quest.
âthe threads of your fate lie in my handsâ a quote by fischl connecting to the weaves of fate; fischl stating that if she does not obtain the divine halberd â...this world and everything in it is going to burn in hellfireâ (legend of the shattered halberd vol. ii). some other excerpts of the book also include: âbut unbeknownst to him, this was the greatest cursed sword of all, that had once burned the entire world to cinders: laevatain [in norse mythology, a weapon crafted by loki and the only capable of defeating the cockerel viĂ°ofnir, inhabiting the top of yggdrasil], the sword had extinguished after the world was burned, but... it burned bright once more. âthe whole world... destroyed again...â weiyang [fischl] fell unconscious as she spokeâ (vol. iv), and, "the world is beyond repair. it shall be born anew from the ashes of the lastâ (vol. vi); dainsleif saying ânone will escape the flames. see for yourselfâ but also neuvilletteâs character story including âthe puppet strings glossed as "divine rules" would one day be burned away by the fires of judgmentâ when talking about constellations; burning away the old world, project stuzha by the fatui and the image of dottore burning the irminsul; nahida saying fontaine's prophecy was engraved in the irminsul, implying the tree also contains the history of the future; sibylla, a prophetess who guarded the irminsul in an ancient city located in what later became the high seas (referred to as abyssal depths). she sacrificed her life for the sake of creating phobos, remus' grand symphony, but her lack of a will ultimately caused the project to fail, as her vague desire to "grant happiness to all in the world who are called humans" caused phobos to attempt to satisfy everyone's desires â including destructive and selfish ones â and set remuria towards the course of its self-destruction (possibly tying concepts of will and fate together); thinking of dottore's plan, it would make sense to burn the tree that holds memories with a fire able to erase them (arlecchino's balemoon powers) so that the world can be born anew breaking away from the shackles of fate.
thereâs also the improvisation kaeya does during the play in his hangouts. "do you believe in fate? if fate decreed your life was to end in tragedy, what would you do?". he then throws a prop and we interact, choosing if we would face our fate bravely or challenge it and rise above it. kaeya then goes on saying "then so must it be! yes, so must it be! i shall discard this intaglio and rid myself of the shackles of fate", "fate means to send the machinations of war to every corner of the land to fan the flames of conflict till they ungulf the entire world⊠fate would see my sword tainted with the blood of innocents, that the bright banner of my homeland might fly in every nation known to mankind. but i shall not bow to the will of fate i am no pawn in heavenâs plan. i, qubad, will spend the rest of my days in a foreign land, 'till i breathe my last in a place far from home" and finishes the play with "but i must walk this path, or freedom dies by my hand. goodbye, my tribe and kin. farewell, sweet land of my birth". the prop we get from kaeya, the intaglio, symbolizes the noble origins of prince qubad in the play and the blood-red jewel (blood, red... funny, uh?) is said to be a crystallization of the question kaeya asked us about destiny. furthermore, an intaglio can be a type of engraved gem or metal signet ring.
#random post with thoughts and connections because my brain is all over the place and my brains is about to explode gsdfasjg#but yeah idk something about fischl's eye of condemation an eye that can see all threads of fate and all truth. considering the parallels i#don't think it's crazy that it could be the reason they all hide their right eye. the red eye in the statuette dropped by abyss heralds is#also the right one. also the alberich's not being noble family... idk. this game loves implying kaeya is a prince lol but i'm also keen on#the art of khemia the orphanage and the whole thing with rebirth!!! i forgot to talk about alchemy maybe another day.#guess it kind of depends what being noble blooded also means because arlecchino's noble blood gives her some pretty unique powers#(also forgot to say arlecchino's afterimages are like sinshades in enkanomiya which are ley line anomalies!!! remnants thoughts leaving#shades of the past. nether realms. it could also connect to istaroth but anyways irminsul again!!!)#the ring of nibelung also seems important and kaeya's prop from the hangouts despite not being a ring directly can very much symbolise one#there's also the khaneri'ah ruin machines power source!!! i forgot but whatever this goes deeeeeep#i'm tired so i'll end here with the yapping bye#genshin thoughts#< just to save it somewhere because i will forget points i want to research better some other time
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my brother is so annoying its making me want to commit acts of violence alas i will just channel my thoughts into a new oc
#kanaeyaps#trying so hard not to take my anger out on myself or othersâĄ#im gonna drop kick someone istg#currently drawing rinae art âĄ#if anyone goes missing it wasnt me chat#theyre so cute i love them sm âĄ#i know how to hide a body#lowkey rlly proud of how this is turning outâĄ
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phil is so mysterious like he could admit he sleeps upside down hanging from the ceiling bat style and i'd be like yeah sure checks out
#love the new ear of him popping up dropping a hit tweet then dipping again#he got the wife + secret child rumors bc no one would blink if he was able to hide a whole ass family for years#like what goes on inside that brain hes SO fucking funny and quick witted but he only shows it when he Feels Like It#aquarius supreme
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I may be failing my plan to not make any isat aus. So there's this guy her name is Euphrasie right. What if I took her and combined what could be 3 separate au concepts into one. And in the process forced myself to go back and reread a bunch of shit to make sure I know how to maximally fuck over this sad wet puppy of a woman
#rat rambles#did I ever actually make a proper isat talking tag? I don't remember but erm#stars posting#anyways dont count on me committing to this au too hard since Im mostly eternal gales brained rn but I am rotating ideas in my head#shes always interested me deeply as what am I if not a sucker for women who are mostly silhouettes of a character#I was mostly just thinking abt other ppls aus where she is also looping and was thinking abt how fucked it be for her in general but also#how much more fucked it would be for her if it was Only her looping#because as far as she would know theres straight up nothing that can be done to fix this and shed be stuck in a hell of what shed be sure#is her own creation#and then I thought to myself. what if she then accidentally did a loop while trying to fix it#and then my brain also said but what if loop was also there#so I did some mental gymnastics to ignore the possible problems and decided to take an extra spin on it and just sorta add her to the main#party by having her have basically wished to be able to help them defeat the king to make things right and her getting dropped earlier#on in the adventure so I can fuck around with potential character dymamics more (cough cough siffrin)#and for the actual loops I think it'd be funny if she could remember just like loop but was fully convinced that she was looping alone#so itd be siffrin and her acting at eachother trying to hide their seperate breakdowns while meamwhile loop is just staring at her with a#whole heap of mixed emotions but mostly the confusion of who the fuck is this guy???????#and sif is just like yeah thats secret. shes a powerful craft user who's craft experiments backfired and fucked up her body. duh.#and loop just Knows that thats not true but they have no real way to bring it up properly without drawing too much suspicious#oh yeah and Im calling her secret for now. in my minds eye shes like constantly putting on different fronts in hopes that one of them will#stick but shes been able to get away with it by playing up her belief in change to a cartoonish degree#shes really trying to be strong and not raise suspicion since she does want mirabelle to be able to learn and grow from this just the same#as her own mirabelle before and just wants to be able to fix the broken wish by being there to defeat the king herself#which she had already convinced herself was the reason the wish broke since she was the one stuck remembering#I should reword it to that probably because saying shes the one looping isnt Wrong but asside from sif not remembering it still entirely#revolved around him she was just the one forced to deal with it without any real way of learning how to fix it#and while she never figured out the entirety of the sif stuff it was always him taking to her that reset the loop#so she has. complicated feelings on him. she doesn't want to be avoidant or distant or to dislike him! and as time goes on she does grow to#like him a lot! but its just. hard to look him in the eye sometimes.#and then theres the horrors of the actual main game starting and the slow but horrifying realization of how badly she fucked up
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using pastel pink + white + florals to symbolize your cold emotionally abusive mother's control over you. starring phoebe cates.
#its also interesting how Polly (the mom) covers up her pink when she goes out#and almost always in 100% pastels at home when shes treating lizzie horribly#as if she hides her behavior around others but the moments in which she is the most cruel she is in full on pastel#when lizzie is in the trenches of her most toxic relationships she is in pastel pink/white/florals. she has the approval of her mother#drop dead fred x st
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as soon as i want to relax i start thinking about how vulnerable my vitals are
#like when it is time for me to sleep or on the bus or just walking about outside#i always have my sides âhuggedâ sort of & i always worry about the back of my neck showing#( could entice someone into stabbing me there ) like on the bus or in class i keep thinking about how easily#someone behind me could just snap & stab me in the neck#i am a paranoid person like this in general in 2019 i was too scared to wear my hair in pigtails because i was paranoid some crazy person#with scissors would cut them off & run away ( sometimes i start thinking too much & it starts going into witchcraft territory )#( like OMG i am sĂ„ going to get cursed for a laugh or out of boredom using those !!!!! same with nail grooming i only file )#anyway so when i try to sleep i keep thinking about how someone could just barge into my house & stab me in the kidneys & chest#& it feels so real so i have to curl up into a ball so the thought goes away#but then i think like any position is stabbable & nothing i do can protect me. no one say guns i am north african#maybe i need to start hiding weapons under my clothes again just to feel safer i used to hide blades in my bra when i was crazy in 2020#i think i am getting back there lately but surely this is fine whatever. Who caare & i mean that genuinely i have already been there#butUGH I HATE feeling so vulnerable to The Killer like i know what wendy williams means but honestly the thought of not dying scares me moa#kind of like how the anticipation of a needle is scary only you get stabbed or attacked & bludgeoned in various ways#like anyone can do anything at any timeeven when i was a kid i would be walking places & think someone could so easily drop a bomb right no#or how gas cylinders can explode at any moment. & then i start visualizing & Feeling until my ears ring. anyway#sorry for my Sick & Twisted Dark & Sinister Mind#journaling. or like.something.
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in my free time i'm typing out a little post-adventure of link story from loz 1 zelda's perspective on link bringing this OTHER princess zelda who was apparently asleep for centuries (and thank you SO much for the WARNING that he was going to be DOING this, IMPA [<-entirely sarcastic]) back to the castle and the acclimatization of everyone to the whole situation and it's genuinely so fun. loz 1 zelda's standing there like alright how do i gently break it to my relative from the distant peaceful past that she has to learn how to fight in this time period or she's going to get ripped to shreds by monsters. and then she says exactly that and when aol zelda predictably looks mildly freaked out about the subject and is just standing there internally screaming like yep! okay! sure! death and destruction is rampant in this world and it kind of makes me wish i'd never woken up at all! when do fighting lessons start! loz 1 zelda is just standing there like. hm. was that not gentle enough. i feel like that wasn't gentle enough.
#it's about the severe disparity between their times.#when you grow up in a golden era of peace and you are a literal princess and your father is. iirc the correct wording used in the manual.#a child of a man. you are not going to learn how to fight. ESPECIALLY when you have an older brother who'll be the successor to the throne#when you are the princess in a time of peace then everything is going to be about image. about perfection. about being everything#the people expect from a daughter of royalty. a status symbol of ultimate proportions. so it goes#but when you are a princess in a time of complete and utter destruction. when you are a princess in a time where it is a miracle to even#survive the day sometimes. what good is image? what good are expectations?#the people of your land are survivors. they survived for a reason. lord yourself above them and there is every chance they could#destroy the last drop of royalty they have left. there is no manpower in the form of an army of knights.#and you are a survivor too. you shattered your birthright and fought your way across the land and through dungeons#to hide the pieces and you were captured and held within a cage of flames for god knows how long#and still you survived. so even though your people bite and rage you love them because you did the same.#there is never anmention of her parents. as far as we know they're dead and she was simply waiting until she was of age to be crowned queen#(<-a mention*)#so she is no status symbol. there is no perfection with her. the people begrudgingly look to her to lead them out of the hell#that has become their world and by god is she going to do it. and there is nothing left she can offer these people but brutal honesty#which is the only honesty this world has to offer anyway. it's only honesty everyone knows.#no pussyfooting around like rich people do with their speech where they say one thing and mean another. a habit i'm sure#would only flourish in peacetime. none of that. if you are not clear with your words and intentions in a land where everything wants you#dead then that's a one-way ticket to getting yourself or someone else fucking killed.#so it's like. the two main aspects of how they were raised kind of clashing full force with each other#you can only be so gentle when you grew up in a land devoid of it. you can only shape yourself into a fighter so much#when you grew up with the concept of it being foreign to you. yknow#gestures incoherently at them. blorbos truly.......#txt
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thought id be destroyed by satosugu this week. instead I was decimated by togachako. im in so much pain.
#togachako#satosugu#the hurt train goes 'chuu chuu' and my heart drops into my stomach to hide in my intestines#horikoshi istg#if u dare make toga die#I will personally hunt u down
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Normal brain: most of the Blight in Fiona was unnatural and it all going away was an accident that cannot be replicated
The part of my brain that wants Fiona to be the protagonist of everything: Duncan used the knife he stole to cut the corruption from Fiona's body and she healed healthy
#in my head it is a horrible and fraught moment. where Fiona knows she'll be sent on her Calling the moment they're done w her in Weisshaupt#and she's spending her final weeks/months on a punishingly long journey where she has to hide so she doesn't scare ppl she comes across#and she feels AWFUL. her body is betraying her down to her last days#and then she realises. what that all lines up with. and she's not a healer by trade but she knows enough for diagnostics#and she goes to Duncan and she says the knife. it wards against the Blight. use it on me#it takes some arguing but she can't let it all end like this. not after everything.#and it's slow and painful and dreadful but the skin heals back scarred. not dying. scarred#she sleeps peacefully. she feels wretched when she wakes but she sleeps peacefully#and the moment the final drop of that tainted blood leaves her she can Feel it and it feels like deliverance.#she's not free because she never can be but she's not dying anymore and the BABY#and that's the first time duncan saves Alistair's life :)#there's a whole fic in my brain which this forms the crux of and maybe ill write it some day
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#the more I experience being a woman and\or seeing myself in the context the more certain I am that genderqueer really is my preferred spot#like. idk. i don't want to get slotted into what someone thinks a woman is either.#i prefer being stereotyped as a woman. at least so far. f stereotypes are preferably to m stereotypes.#but i don't really want that either. i think if I'd been born a cis woman I'd be closer to my ideal self. but still not perfectly there#i get the memes about playing 4d gender chess. that really is how it goes#like. i don't want to hide the male parts of me that i like. i want to be able to drop my voice without people deciding I'm now a man.#i want to wear shorts with hairy legs and tank tops with hairy pits and sneeze loud and deep and cataclysmic#and the trickiest part is that i want to be perceived in that way. i don't want to be seen as some he/she. some amalgamation of two things#I'm not a combination of female and male made into some stitched together creature. that's just the only lense people get taught for gender#idk. people smarter than me have written books and made videos and done seminars on this. I'm not treading new ground#but i did finally buy some octopus clips which has given me more joy. I've loved them since i was a kid#and now i have the hair and the freedom to use them. euphoria so much euphoria. gods I'm so cool
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