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#or was but anyway. its fine . i got things figured out
ff-killjam · 23 hours
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How The Tables Turned [Ford x reader oneshot]
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Summary: This time, its Ford making you stop what you're going to make sure you get sleep.
Rating: SFW and very fluffy
Warnings: Aside from a slightly suggestive part, none!
AO3 version
A/N: Actually based on a period of time where I tried to learn how to use unity (before the whole drama of it happened). I refused to do ANYTHING but to work on my little project no matter how much I was starving for a few weeks straight. lol.
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It’s basically routine at this point for you to drag Ford out of his lab to head for bed. Even if you remind him of the benefits on sleeping and how the lack of it will impact his work, you still needed to get him into bed, sometimes having some food ready for him to make sure he didn’t sleep on an empty stomach.
That’s how its USUALLY IS.
Lately, you’ve started your own personal project involving learning a game engine to play around with. It was mostly just a random idea one day, wanting to try your hand at making your own little “video game”. Nothing too fancy, just something fun to put together and to learn some new skills along the way. There was A LOT you needed to look into and learn to make this happen, however.
From learning a coding language, the game engine itself, a mix between finding free to use assets and even making your own when nothing suited your taste- you had a lot on your plate. It wasn’t all that bad really, considering how this whole thing turned into a full blown hyper fixation fairly soon after starting it. It was easy to let the hours fly by as you were split between watching tutorial videos, drawing and fixing any errors/bugs in any of the codes you wrote down. You were aware of when you needed to sleep, eat and do other things for your health, but something about working on this project made you refuse to move from your chair. And you weren’t the only one to noticed this.
After a decent amount of time being with you, Ford has grown used to the routine of you coming to his lab to check up on him. It got to the point where he purposely stayed late in the lab to get you to come in and “pester” him to take care of himself better. The feeling of knowing you cared and loved him so much to go out of your way to make sure he knew that was something he relished in. Of course, he did felt a little “silly” and “immature” doing this instead of straight up telling you, but there was no harm being done anyways, so it was fine.
So when you stopped checking on him after a few nights, he couldn’t help but to worry a bit. At first, he figured you were just a bit busy, possibly even out for the night, so he didn’t think too much of it. However, when walking into your computer room and seeing you up staring at your screen with an open notebook with various random things written on it, he couldn’t help to smile a bit as you reminded him of his university days. You were just working on something, nothing too bad.
But as time passed by, he soon realizes he only ever sees you in your computer room. You barely went out for anything, even for food. Ford didn’t want to jump to any conclusions, but he was worried. Things escalated for him when he barely sees you in bed anymore.
It’s not like he didn’t talk to you as you were deep in your work. He would sometimes check in on you when things felt a little too quite after he started to noticed your absent in his lab. Ford was happy you were able to pursue something new and to take the time and effort to do it. He was aware of the little game you wanted to make for the sake of saying “I made this!”. When he had the free time, he’ll listen to you talk about the things you learned, some of the issues you faced and how you fixed them, etc etc. But he can only take so much before he had to really step in for your own sake.
The sky was dark out, and it was around 1am. You weren’t in bed yet. Again. Ford was really concerned for you now. Walking through the dim hallway, he opens up the door of your computer room. He can see you fully concentrated on your screen, looking over some codes you put together, as if you were trying to find any errors in the lines of text that was presented in front of you. It was obvious how dry your eyes were, how your body longed for rest, but the urge to keep going and to fix this one mistake kept you from wanting to sleep despite how much you felt the need to do so.
It was almost funny to him. A taste of his own medicine some would say. It reminds him of the many nights on how he too would refuse to stop for the night, always needing to do one more thing before he could let himself rest. How you would do your best to persuade him to let himself walk away from his work, to take care of himself to avoid any health complications, and to spend time with you in the comfort of your bed.
It made him feel guilty as well. The things you did for him and how much you loved him to always go out of your way to show it. Ford knew he was taking full advantage of that, and he wanted to repay it back.
You jumped a little in your seat when you felt his familiar six finger hand land on your shoulder, being so focused on the lines of text on your screen that you forgot where you were for a good bit. You look over at Ford as he stood beside your seat, giving him a weak smile.
“Oh hey! Do you need anything?” You asked before quickly looking back at the screen again.
“Love, when was the last time you ate?” Ford asked you in a gentle voice.
“Uh… I had breakfast?” You answered, only remembering you had some toast with a sunny side egg on top when you last ate. It didn’t seem like it mattered too much though.
“Its almost one am” Ford replied, a little stern this time. You quickly check the clock on your taskbar, feeling surprised from how much time had passed.
“Oh… oops” you spoke mostly to yourself, feeling a little silly for not checking the time more often. “I’ll probably head to bed soon”
“Not soon,” Ford points out, “you’re going to bed now.” His words made you look at him again, confusion viable on your face.
“Just let me do this one fix-” Ford says your name, stern voice again, causing you to stop your sentence.
“You are fully aware of the effects of not taking care of yourself” Ford spoke to you with a smirk on his face. You knew that he was referencing the many of times where you brought out the facts of how the lack of sleep and self care can affect your health and day to day life. It was the best way to convince him to come to bed and let you cuddle with him until you were both asleep. “You’re no different form me, sweetheart. Got to practice what they preach, as they say”
“Uh…. I’m built different?” You gave a half shrug and a low chuckle at your own joke. Obviously, this did nothing to change his mind. You knew he was right, and had nothing to say to argue back. Ford knew this too. “Fine… let me quickly save and shut off my computer…”
Ford watches you quickly save any progress before shutting off your computer, the light of the screen turning off and making the room dark as it was the only thing on. As you start to stand, your body fully conveyed how tired you really were. You were about to walk to the hallway door before Ford lets out a ‘let me’, and you were now being picked up bridle style in his arms. You let out a small gasp, often forgetting how much muscle the older man has as he often hides it away in his iconic turtleneck. The comfort of him holding you made the realization at your own exhaustion hit hard. You can feel yourself somewhat go limp as Ford carried you to your shared room.
Ford felt you quickly relax in his arms, feeling prideful as he carried you to your bed. Sitting you on the side and pulling the blanket back. He lays you on your pillow before fallowing suit into his usual spot on the bed beside you. Your eyes were shut as you let yourself sink into the soft mattress, the weight of the blanket being pulled over you giving a sense of security, along with how his arms wrapped around you to pull you close to his chest. You let out a sigh of relief as you feel him nuzzle his face into the crook of your neck, getting a few shivers down your spine.
“Sorry…” You mumbled to him, feeling guilty now for making him go out of his way to get you to bed. You feel him chuckle into your skin, the smile forming on his face being easily felt on your skin.
“Nothing to be sorry about sweetheart,” his replied, voice audibly sounding more tired, “I should be the one to apologize, making you go through this almost every night. I see how doing this almost all the time can be a bit frustrating for you.”
“Not if its you,” You were quickly to reply, “I’m always happy to make sure you’re okay”. Ford felt his heart flutter at your words. You always did surprised him with how much you loved him despite how many times you pointed it out.
“The feeling is mutual,” Ford placed a kiss on your skin as he caressed one of his thumbs that rested on you, “lets get to sleep now, I’ll be sure to do something for you in the morning” Ford gave another kiss on your skin, and you can’t help but to feel excited for what he had planned.
Silence followed as you two let yourselves slowly fall asleep in each others comfort. Feeling his steady heartbeat on your back lulled you to your sleep.
Ford smiled when he realized you fell asleep before he did. It was no surprise, you needed it really bad. Without fail every night when he has you in his arms like this, he feels like the luckiest man in the multiverse. He didn’t deserve you, but it was almost as if this is the repayment he deserved after many years of suffering, a way of life saying sorry to him.
And he wouldn’t ask for anything else.
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forgetful-river · 1 year
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No rest for the wicked I suppose
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paperbackfable · 2 months
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Erend: they don't Id me at the liquor store anymore because they see the light has left my eyes
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Erend: We're playing Scrabble. It's a nightmare.
Alva: Scrabble? Scrabble's great.
Erend: Not when you're playing with Zo, it's not. They put words like "ephemeral" and I put "dog".
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Varl: You're ignoring all your problems.
Aloy: I know.
Varl: You also know it's an unhealthy coping mechanism?
Aloy: I'm ignoring that fact as well.
Varl:
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Zo: In your opinion, what's the height of stupidity?
Aloy: turning to Sylens How tall are you?
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Aloy: You lying, cheating, piece of shit!
Sylens: Oh yeah? You're the idiot who thinks you can get away with everything you do. WELCOME TO THE REAL WORLD.
Aloy: I'm leaving you, and I'm TAKING BETA WITH ME!
Varl, picking up the strike board: I think we're gonna stop playing now.
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Aloy: Want do you want to be for "Halloween"?
Beta: Loved.
Aloy: Don't do this.
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Sylens: I will not stand to be disrespected like this!
Aloy: Then sit.
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Alva: Imagine if someone handed you a box full of all the things you lost throughout your life...
Zo: It would be nice to have my sense of purpose back.
Aloy: Oh wow, my childhood innocence! Thank you for finding this.
Beta: My will to live! I haven't seen this in years.
Erend: I knew I lost that potential somewhere.
Varl: Mental stability, my old friend!
Alva: Ancestors, could you guys lighten up a little?
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Varl: What do you think Kotallo will do for a distraction?
Aloy: Probably, like, whistle or throw a rock. That's what I would do.
Building explodes and several car alarms go off
Aloy: ...or they could do that.
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OK THAT'S ENOUGH I SHOULD PROABLY STOP NOW BYE
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toytulini · 2 days
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man the thing about beauty standards and being ugly and being pretty and being insecure is that ultimately you do just kinda have to Decide that youre pretty. like ultimately thats how you become pretty, or hot, or sexy. you have to just Decide that you Are. you have to recognize that its made up, its arbitrary, its subjective, and that people might disagree with you about it, and as much as you are able, you need to completely and utterly disregard their opinions on your appearance, and decide that youre pretty now. and THEN.
you need to find beauty in "ugly". you need to recognize that ugly is made up, that its arbitrary, that its subjective, and you need to be able to find the beauty in it all. and this means you cant bodyshame people. you cant body shame shitty celebs or politicians. you need to base your criticisms on the substance of their character and misdeeds and unhinged horrific opinions and not give a shit about what they look like. you cant go calling people ugly for being shitty. you cant go calling people ugly for looking A Way You Dont Like.
and then if you wanna really galaxy brain this shit you start using ugly as endearment. OBVIOUSLY do not fucking call other human beings ugly. that shit is far too loaded, its just Rude. Dont call specific features of people or even characters ugly cos thats also too loaded. as a term it has baggage. but you can see the ugly in tacky, loud, garish clothing, and it can be Good. you can see the ugly in a distinctive, horrible tiny car from the 90s, and it can be good. you can see the ugly in animals that have evolved to look the way they do, without a single thought of what humans find appealing. you can see the beauty and the freedom in "Ugliness". you can break out of this shit altogether and feel nothing but disdain for anyone who stoops to insulting your appearance if they disagree with you about shit. you can get completely out of the cave of these beauty standards. you can find it so freeing to revel.in letting yourself be ugly. in recognizing that the way you look and exist might be ugly to some people, and youre out of the cave enough to simply recognize. thats just your opinion and it doesnt matter. didnt ask.
you can look at ppl arguing about the correct amount of skincare products to use daily, the Correct Amount of makeup, and whether or not its radical to conform to beauty standards or defy them and argue about is it really conforming if visible makeup pisses men off, and you can say, well I dont care about any of that, I recognize the societal pressures of flawless skin and all that but you see,
I just want to look like a silly little clown :o3
#toy txt post#i wasnt gonna end this on that silly note. but then i had to#ugly#pretty#beauty standards#not saying its easy. not saying you have to do this#but like if youre tired of feeling insecure about your face your fashion. you gotta just figure out what you like and lean in#and you gotra recognize this shit is made up and subjective and arbitrary and you shouldnt be doing it for anyone else ever#i used to be insecure about a few features of mine that i feared made me Ugly. and then i Decided to try to find it pretty.#it sounds so stupid and made up but like literally i just. Decided. im pretty now. this is pretty. this shit is made up. why am i listening#to you. you dont know shit. im pretty now. AND THEN i decided. actually. im ugly on purpose now but not in a way that has much to do with#my actual appearance so much as my complete disregard for your opinion on my appearance. you gotta do it for you. you gotta dress for#yourself#ANYWAY#before anyone comes in with how beauty standards are often externally enforced via peer and social pressure:#yea bud im a human being on planet earth. im aware. thats why i said: as much as you are able. i recognize i have a number of privileges in#this regard that not everyone does. the way im given more space and freedom to dress like a little freak as a thin white person etc#but like i still had and have societal pressure to shave my legs and underarms to conform. theres societal and peer pressure to wear makeup#and i just. dont. the legs thing is less noticeable tho ill admit cos i also Hate Shorts but thats a whole complicated can of worms#which also involves i am not exposing myself to ticks like that are u insane#anyway. yea. the other magical thing about this philosophy of mine is that you also just dont have to. like you can just Ignore Me.#you can keep doing what youre doing and thats fine too#but genuinely if you struggle with insecurity about appearance you gotta just. this is the fake it til u make it shit#i decided im pretty now and it got easier to take selfies bc i was pretty then#doing art and exploring different faces for ocs and making them look different from the conventional beauty standards. also helped#and like dont get me wrong theres still shit im vain about appearance wise that doesnt matter. i still like to style my hair before i leave#the house etc. im still looking in the cave sometimes#but perhaps one day i will be as blissfully uncaring about ppls perception of me as a fuckin goby#anyway. anyway anyway anyway#if you do this things get so much easier. but you dont have to. i have no power over you
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first-blight · 5 months
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. . . i'm too aro for this
#i saw someone talk about “obvious” romantic tension between phoenix/maya and athena/simon#and that the average cishet normie consumer would assume they were implied romantic#and i sat there for a full minute trying to process that#because literally all i got from these pairings was big sibling energy#and i realize everyone reads that differently but.#the level of being annoying and being annoyed between maya and phoenix....#and the whole “i gotta be a big sister” and the whole. maya is mia's little sister so by extention kind of also#taken under phoenix's wing after mia's death#the way they constantly joke about maya being childish bc she likes steel samurai (she isn't. edgeworth also likes it#he's just too stuck up to admit it. also liking “childish” things doesnt make u childish but i digress)#but anyway the joke abt maya being childish vs phoenix being grown up#furthering the perception of the difference between them and maya as a sort of younger sibling figure#and then athena and simon....#simon literally having been her babysitter somewhat. having played with her when she was younger#and when the Mom Murder Incident happened he cared for her and got her out of there#and took on the blame “for her” .....#all of that screams older brother to me the way he carried her away from the scene. she was just a child#IDK IS IT REALLY SUPPOSED TO BE OBVIOUSLY ROMANTICALLY IMPLIED?????????#WHAT......#i KNOW there are people who ship phoenix and maya or athena and simon and that's fine#but to me they were OBVIOUSLY sibling coded instead of OBVIOUSLY romance coded#😭😭😭#help meeeee#cas.txt#i cant tell if the post i saw was an outlier and tinted by Fandom Perception#or if that's like. a big general consensus and i just don't see it bc i curate my online experience#bc it could go either way. i can see it being an outlier that found its way onto my dash#but i could also see it as a bigger agreed upon thing that just never crossed my dash bc i only interact with sibling content 😭#either way it baffled me
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emdotcom · 11 days
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Tbh, can't believe I'm cutting ties with Fnaf before Batim.
#em.txt#negative#all thr fnaf stuff that's come outta my rbs since the anniversary have just been queued. my queue is huge it takes a bit#anyways#bendy has given me pounds of grief & a lot of it is my fault for like. falling in love with a proof lf concept#& not waiting for the game to come out in full & rushing in to each chapter looking for hints#to a conclusion i made up in my mind & was never ever coming. the ending to game one is quite trash#& while the sequel tries to make the ending in 1 worthwhile it's too little too late#because while a sequel can recontectualize its prequel it cannot erase how it was when it first was released#yeah so like. i figured between how shit the studio heads were & how I didn't like the first game ot the second game#or really the spinoff which i played i am like the only bendy fan i know that played that thing#& I'm not like. super stoked for any of the 3 games they teased in secrets of the machine#which i think is fine btw secrets of the machine is okay but i refuse to judge it as a game because it's an advertisement#i think some of the secrets in that game like the poster one are stupid but most of it is fine kinda cool. glad they got to reuse#all those assets from previous games & also cameo the car from the mobile game#ANYWAYS i figured all this would pile up to mean i would cut off batim. but I haven't. when the next games come out i will#probably at least check out a playthrough maybe play them myself if they seem interesting#meanwhile. like. the fnaf 10th anniversary happened#they dropped a sequel to help wanted. they dropped 2 more fnaf games. & I don't give a shiiiiittt#i woke up the day after the anniversary & realized like. I don't like the games. I don't give a fuck about the books.#the movie has practical effects & was cute but nothing i will think about deeply. the lore is a industrial sized dumpster fire#I don't like the community i only play ONE fan game & i just don't care about this series that used to eat my brain whole on the daily#so i gave it a month. maybe this was just a depressive spike. but no it seems like something shifted in my brain permanently#I don't like fnaf anymore which sucks#but what sucks more is i still like this other piece of shit that has easily given me worse times
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i need eddie to get another guy friend in season 8, and buck loses his shit about it (again), so he breaks up with t because he's convinced that the weird feeling he gets when he sees them together is because he is Really attracted to the new guy.
#like things with t are fine cuz he likes exploring this new side of himself even if t doesnt always match his energy but whatever its fun#and maybe at work chim is the one who brings up eddies new friend and he is immediately just. what new friend?#chim laughs and says. tbf last time eddie got a new friend you attacked him so you could date his friend. hes probably keeping it to himsel#and bucks like. dude what. that was. yeah it was shitty of me but it was a one time thing. i wont do it again...#and when eddie shows up for shift buck immediately asks about his new friend and eddie tells him about the guy without hesitation#after shift tho buck is like. why didnt you tell me about him? after t i get why you dont want to but im just. you dont have to worry man.#buck. i know. im not worried. anyway he and i are gonna head to a bar to catch the game. you want to come with? you can bring t if hes free#oh. thats. thatd be okay? i dont want to idk ruin the vibe by bringing a date#nah man. itll be fine#and so he and t go to the bar and eddies already inside with the new friend and its Fine. its Great actually because t gets along with eddi#and the new guy and the new guy makes eddie laugh and doesnt miss a beat and knows more about the teams record this season than buck and#buck is doing Fine. this guys smile is big and his eyes are bright and when he laughs he sorta leans into eddies space alittle and its Fine#the night ends and buck and t go back to his apartment and buck cant stop thinking about that guys hand when it clapped down on eddies#shoulder or the look on his face as he teased eddie about the beer he drinks (cuz its kinda bad but only buck can say that) and buck Cant.#he wants that guy. he wants his hands and grin and teasing voice all to himself and not on eddie.#so he breaks up with t and ts confused af cuz i thought things were going good?#yeah. i just. i want to explore my options yk now that ive uh figured out i like men.#and its a clean break. not dramatic or messy. t tells him to call if he every changes his mind. buck wont.#bucks trying to not pry about eddies new friend and he doesnt grill eddie or anyone and just waits and listens to all the new info he gains#and eventually eddie invites him out to watch another game because whatever team they were watching made it to the playoffs#and when he gets there eddies like. no t tonight?#nah we. uh. we broke up.#eddie says sorry man that sucks. and the new guy is like. honestly he didnt even seem that into you which what an idiot. youre great.#and its good because the new guy splits his attention between the two of them now. eddie isnt the only one getting hands and grins and eyes#and the third time theyre at the bar the guy follows him to bathroom and kisses him hard against the door before pulling back with a#panicked sorry and leaving and when buck finds eddie after hes like. what happened? new guy ran out of here without even saying goodbye#he kissed me in the bathroom. i think uh. i think he was kinda freaking out about it and thats why he left.#and eddie just blinks at him before being like. buck. buck you said you werent going to do this again.#i didnt mean to! and buck means it. he just saw the way that guy made eddie laugh and put his hands on eddie and had eddies attention and#oh.
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Me: I should probably clean my room, unpack, find my laptop and finish the work tasks that were due yesterday
Also me: I think I'm going to hot glue flowers, vines, and ribbons to a basket instead :)
#no my room is so bad it even hurts my chronically messy soul#i moved back in with my parents in May and im terrible at unpacking#so everything is just strewn about because i just pulled shit out of boxes when i needed them and never put them anywhere productive#and i just got back from my summer camp job. i still need to digitize my inventory and write my closing report#it was supposed to be done before i left camp but i convinced them to let me do it by monday#today is tuesday#part of the reason i havent done it is because my laptop is lost in this mess#last thing im procrastinating is ren faire prep#truly its not much prep just adding vines and flowers to a basket and needing to try on my whole outfit#and practice my makeup and hair#makeup will be light bcuz i dont know how to do makeup#so im just doing some lipstick and glittery highlight#and i need to figure out what to do with my hair. i have a tiara that i might see about fastening into the braids#or i may braid ribbons into my hair. gotta test to see whoch one i like better#i am so fucking excited for ren faire bcuz im going with my gf and some of her friends#im so excited to meet her friends and spend time with her outside of the summer camp we worked at together#AND im going to do her hair and she asked me to braid ribbons into her hair so im so excited#i just need to practice some braids to figure out how i want to do her hair and practice braiding in ribbons#i fucking love doing hair and i cant wait to do hers. ive done single strand braods for her before BUT#she has long beautiful hair and ive been wanting to try more braids on her and i think i have an idea of what i want to do#but instead of doing anything productive. i am sitting in bed. doing nothing#(spoiler alert its because every time i leave camp i get treated to a terrible depressive episode)#(its because i lose the routine and sunshine and exercise and social aspect of camp probably)#(now worsened by the terrible state of my room and the passing of one of my rats while i was at camp that i just learned about)#anyway im doing fine. gonna go do something now ig
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seafoam-taide · 2 months
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You know I thought for awhile that I was just a rare type of person who sure, liked people well enough but was okay being alone didn't necessarily need anyone and NO. NO. NO. OH MY GOD . YOU GIANT DUMBASS. NO HAHAHA NOOO NOPE
#tide of consciousness#See what was confusing me is usually when people talk about life partner they mean romantically sexually#And also I have yet to meet someone who gets me in the way I want someone to get me <- I think <- good chance I have and squandered it#<- that may be the evil brain talking though#But anyway so I was misconstruing the fact that the people I know and like currently are not people I want to spend my life with#With the idea that there is no one and no chance I will ever want that#And also heteronormative allo society despite my best efforts Is in my brain#And I'm only just realizing how badly I would really like to find a person or maybe people who do make me feel like. I could want that#The idea that there could be someone out there that I would want to spend my time and space with forever is mind blowing#Because honestly and this is of course the mental illness but I have kind of been under the assumption that maybe I am just like. Weeell#Evil and broken and cruel and selfish and HAHA. you know. The usual#Because you know only recently I got my first taste of 'a person is actively choosing you and wants you over all things'#And then I fucked that up because that was my first time believing anyone could care about me and you know you always fuck that one up#And that sucked and is still in the process of sucking but it has also made me realize#That there is actually a way that I would want that. Maybe#Like in a way that worked. I'd really like to have a person like that maybe#And honestly that's a nightmare to have to realize#Because before it was like hey! I guess I just don't have to worry about that!#And now I'm like FUCK. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO DO THIS#because special secret I've never actively tried to connect to people in my life ever#I don't know how you do that! I don't know how to actively form relationships!#I just wait for someone to grab me and pull me along! It's terrifying to think about trying to discover that#AT 20!#I know it's not unusual especially in this day and age in fact it's kind of an epidemic#But you're supposed to learn how to socialize when you're a little tiny baby!!! I don't want to figure this out now I can't even get a job!#Fucking shit that's a lot of words um#Every 6 months I remember that I'm deeply deeply deeply lonely and it's the worst and then I wilfully ignore it until I rediscover it again#Every day I discover a new layer to how utterly wretchedly self loathing my brain is and its the worst#Peeling back a layer of paint and surprise! You've subconsciously thought you were fine being alone because secretly you believe#That it is impossible for you to be anything but alone! Yay!
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waywardsalt · 3 months
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anyways. holding linebeck gently
#some assorted untagged linebeck thoughts tonight cuz hey why not its been a Day of ups and downs and he’s been there in my mind#sometime this month i do want to make some images of him w/ the pride flags of my hcs so general gay and then mlm and then intersex#general post ph crew rundown theres linebeck and then damien is bi and trans and bellum doesnt fucking care and link is figuring it out#so its half we got it and half man i have other things to worry about#i feel like you put linebeck and midna in a room and they are gay/lesbian buddies mlm/wlw solidarity thats what they are to me#anyways. revisited my post abt possession aftermath effects. you can probably tell i enjoy hurt/comfort/whump#smth darkly funny to me abt extremely sick and delirious linebeck and worried link kinda hanging out in his room#with link being like i bet youll be fine!!! you’re recover youre fine. and linebeck just saying kid i have rabies symptoms#anyways he lives hes fine he survives the magic squid rabies. to calm the characters nerves and my own ive decided that once hes well enoug#linebeck and link decide to visit the fairy queen to get some kinda divine checkup and to get the closure of. linebeck is fine he’s fine#nothing malicious is lingering youre good just. get some more bed rest#i do like the idea that when hes got some minor injury to the degree of some little papercur linebeck is incredibly bitchy and whatnot#and then when he’s in genuine danger of dying he’s eerily chill abt it. while recovering from possession one day when he can walk he just#chills on the deck when theres no breeze just smoking. ofc hes terrified inside but fuck if hes going to be obvious abt it (when lucid)#could tie that to his trauma n whatever ig but rn i dont have the energy to really think on it idk hes had enough bad injuries#and has found that when hes actively distressed crying out and whatnot didnt really get people to help#like its smth he learned early on his brother was there and there was just enough but like yknow. wasnt ingrained ig#thats a different thing to be lumped into the idea of him learning that its fine to be more vulnerable abt what you feel n need n want#prob smth he practices with link i mean damien is good but he needs to learn to listen instead of assume for that first bit#uhhh. earlier today i almost made a vent post but didnt but i think the gist was god i need to stop comparing other loz things to my iwn#bc it never never ends well. anyways. uhhh. came up with a possible post ph story arc for bellum n link#and decided to revive an older one with link and linebeck. post ph is really really just its own thing tbh#ofc meant to be a sorta fan sequel thing but between the disregarding of canon sequel stuff and not really adhering to the feeling n whatno#its just its own thing and i like it. ill prob delete this later
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chiistarri · 6 months
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imsoo normal about guys byw
#sprry this is the start of my downfall im actually going to theow up and vomit and die#fronting daily actually sucks!and i have no restraint on my curiiusity and i have to figure shit out and i literally want to die#cause like i found out shit i didnt want to and its entirely my fault too bro i cant even be upset cause i went looking for it ughhh#i should be allowed to die afterschool so i dont have to feel anything else tbh thatd be a pleasure great thing whwatever#this is genuinelky the repeat of my downfall again literally september all over again and its just march jesus fucking fhrist bro need todi#the nervous system is so dumb what is ooottfvgvsh or whagevr i hate that dumbass acronym i hate healrhcare#serenity save me 🙏 save me serenity 🙏 come home#everyone keeps sayng that but qith donald trump#anyway back to me i need to scream and not just to serenity cause i feel bad🤭 no emojis are tood enougu anymore bro im going to kms#killing myself so fucking hard like a vampire driving a stake through his heart sort of shit ykwim like a siren drowning ro sokething poeti#save me sid 🙏 sid save me actually hed laugh at me for hthis lowkey which is soo deserved cause real bro why am i breaking down at midnight#on a dchool day too bro again and again i dont want to go to mf schooll and be obsessed w k. hes fine but i genuinely cant do my work#lowkey would iet be weird to talk to my ex ab my relationship with him cause like yea i miss him ykwim and i need closure but i got a crush#cause like on one hand its like i was the one who brokenup ykwim like even if the circumstances werewei4d whatever its like why would i hav#the right to even bring it up and i alr crushed on a new guy and like ignoring the uguult i do like him ughh broni want to kms#i love love i just dont love lvoe for myself cause ugh bro i hare one guy idc ab his crushes but he made me hear ab them lke idc idek him#sorry u had a bad experience w bi girls like idk what u want me to say ??? surprise me too ??? tff ugh i hate love girls#i need a gf but the thoigjt of liking a girl genuinely deeply scares me to my core cause i like girls but ppl dont like that i do ykwim#all mu friends are fucking gay bro idek why im so worried ab liking girls like who is there to disappoint but myself and my entire family#noo pressure qt all being oldest and queerest like ok yeah its midnight happy new years. i need this blanket tobsuffocste me#sleep wrappedup alr like a borito burito i dek and its not enoughh i need a soul crushing embrafe to sleep#ok im done i got post vent clarity i need to sleep#post#erics tag#delete later#serenity needs this as a ref in the morning#i beed my mom to cry to but j cant tell her any of this id rather be eaten alive by bugsbro and if i just cry to her without a reason#shell fs go througj my phone and fimd out why anyway so wjats the pointtt my god i tqlk too much and vent too much#gota flair forbthe dramatics ivguess mb
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umilily · 7 months
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i really am the definition of wasted potential.
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so. uhh. any rgg meetups at animenext this weekend or 🥴
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loverboybitch · 1 year
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knit sweater i made drying out after i dyed it in my kitchen sink.//.
#uploads#fashion#fibres#the color is kinda weird but i like it alot that really washed out wine red#gonna fuck around with this more still myb do a little bleaching and some more dying but for now she rests#also shrunk a bunch lowkey after i washed it so hope i can stretch it back out a bit we will see#reflecting several hours later now that its mostly dry and i got to try it on#i think the color looks kinda washed out cause i wrung it out really realyl hard when i was washing it#i feel like that wasnt super smart cause i do wish it was a bit darker but also maybe i just need a darker dye mix#but i really was squeezing that shit to get the water out and i think it probably desaturated the color a bit#lessons for next time#also rewrote and made a edited version of the pattern ive been working with so its more my own#changed a couple things so im gonna try and make another sweater soon i think#gotta figure out what wool i wanna use maybe ill go back to the galler yarns WOW wool but also the mohair was really nice#i have a ton of fine alpaca but ive been using that for my woven project instead and its alot thinner#idk how it would look esp cause im using such big needles#maybe i could size down and try that but id have to really figure out a whole new pattern n knit counts idk maybe#anyway just thinking out loud cause its 5am and i cant sleep but i also cant work on sweater anymore cause its just chilling#n i need bleach n some other stuff#also gonna knit a trim for the bottom and sleeves fuck weaving it thats too hard#but then im gonna have to figure out how to dye it so it matches but uhhh haha idk#good thing its kinda a tester
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hua-fei-hua · 1 year
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last night i had a dream that had something to do with reading a fic abt . well i wanna say "a haunted forest diner" but i've already written a haunted forest diner fic and it was not at all like that. anyway, it was this haunted forest diner fic in the sense that all its patrons were old forest gods of like decay and shit and in order to sneak in, you had to transform into like a deer, and apparently i was a supremely graceful jumper for a stag
but anyway i dreamt that that was a fic that i had apparently read and commented on months ago, but for w/e reason i had never read the replies to, and the author had replied that i seemed like a cool person n that they would have loved to have read some stuff i had written "but it seems you do not have any genshin works up..."
and honest to god all i could think upon reading that was literally "lol skill issue"
#and then i dreamt that i got one of those defeat the 8-12 hilichurl comms in genshin n i was like fine fine w/e#but after killing two i somehow figured out that they were not trying to kill me but instead trying to kidnap me to be their medic#and i was intrigued enough to be like 'okay' n sat down on this white blanket thing they had set aside for me#n one of my friends (don't remember who) was like 'yo you good?' n i was like 'yeah they just want me to be their medic'#n my friend looked at me suspiciously n was like 'well the comm isn't over you have six more to kill but if you need me i'll be over there'#n she pointed to where the trumpets i knew in high school (minus cody? i think?) were having sectionals under some trees#it was definitely trumpet sectionals but for whatever reason my brain decided to edit out cody So fucking True get redacted idiot#anyway so i just waited around in the warm sun untild a bunch of humanoid creatures started coming down the hill#i think they were supposed to be bosses or smth but none of them are in gnshn even tho we were def in mond or liyue by this point#and they all had different colored faces but anyway my friend was like 'THIS IS WHY WE HAVE TO DEFEAT ALL THE HILICHURLS!!!'#'BECAUSE IF WE DON'T THEN THEY'RE JUST BUYING TIME FOR *THESE GUYS* TO COME!!!!'#n i was like 'oh shit!!' n we started fighting them n they were really tanky but we got most of them except for the blue one#and so i went back to the haunted diner place n entered it as a human n went upstairs where i found the author in my dreams#n she said that we couldn't talk long bc the blue guy was after me but she'd distract it by joining its side#and also there was like this whole subplot in between abt like uhhh exchanging love for power i think? idk i don't remember rn#i just remember that the author temporarily exchanged some of her like. goodwill or smth to buy me time to prepare for my fight#with the blue guy and so i hiding in the bathroom listened w my ear pressed against the wall as she became corrupted n then it was#my turn to fight the blue guy n i opened up the door n stuff but then i woke up :c#anyway so that was MY dream diary for today everyone leave your own recent dreams in the replies and we can have a discussion lol#花話
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storm-of-feathers · 2 years
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playing with god by pouring out nyquil and whatever comes out is what i take
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