#or they're freaks who's to say

[pseudophan]

This is not at all topical but why do u think they did the 2017 baking video without shirts under that fuckass conjoined jumper.

they just really enjoyed the slapping noises

[starry-bi-sky]

Blood Blossom Au: Baby's First Commissioner Meeting :)

TL:DR This Post: Danny (orphan) gets poisoned with blood blossom extract by Vlad. He runs away from him and ends up under the care of one Pre-Robin Battinson Batman! Starry is loudly pushing her batdad agenda.

(Also known as "Late At Night, When The Nightingale Sings" on my ao3!)

This was a fun rough idea I've been sitting on for weeks, thinking about how Commissioner Gordon and Nightingale's first meeting might go.

---------------

Commissioner Gordon likes to think that he's adjusting to the new normal of Gotham very well, -- the new normal being grown men running around dressed like bats, in military-grade strength body armor, committing acts of vigilantism, -- and slowly, little by little, he was no longer being surprised when this new normal pops up out of the shadows like the world's most terrifying daisy. His shaving lifespan thanks him for it.

....

The kid is a surprise though.

Granted, he seemed to be a surprise to the Bat too.

There's been a string of murders lately, -- which, in Gotham, is kind of like saying there's been another storm during monsoon season. And there's just been another; in some dilapidated building down in south Gotham, with the broken, boarded-up windows and mildew-crawling walls to match. The victim is a man in his thirties, multiple gunshot wounds to the chest, left in the center of the room for the blood to pool out around him.

The place is already secured when he arrives, the building swarmed with officers and the forensic detectives. The Bat emerges shortly after he does -- or, he might've been here the whole time, hiding someplace dark and shadowy. For his own sanity, Gordon doesn't think about it too hard.

The kid is a surprise, and he appears like a bolt of lightning.

He shows up in the middle of a conversation Gordon is having with the Bat.

A whistle, sharp and loud, slicing through the air, meant for open air rather than a confined space. Gordon's ears pierce and protest the sound, and the solemn, murmured chatter floating through the room abruptly cuts off like the swing of a gavel. As he turns towards the sound -- as they all do -- he swears, up and down, that he sees Batman's shoulders jump, just slightly.

At the source, perched on the window, is a boy. A boy in a gray-blue scarf and an oversized black hoodie, one that hangs off his frame and has ace bandages wrapped around the wrists in some attempt to cinch the sleeves. The hood is up, big like the rest of it, and threatens to swallow the upper half of the boy's face whole in the fabric. What upper half Gordon can see, is smeared with some kind of opaque, black face paint. He's holding onto the side of the frame with one hand, on his hip is a grappling hook. A familiar grappling hook.

Gordon has multiple questions, and his officers tense up.

Martinez puffs up, brows furrowing as his face shapes into a frown. Shoulders rolling back. "You can't be here, kid--"

The reaction is immediate, like a spark to gunpowder, the boy yanks his fingers from his mouth and his mouth twists into a scowl. Head snapping over to Officer Martinez, his hood manages to stay on but Gordon swears that as he bares his teeth, the glint makes them look sharper than they should be. His voice is rasp and quiet and harsh; snappish in its hissing; "Put a fuckin sock in it, Martinez. I'm not stayin."

Martinez reels back, and the boy immediately veers his attention off him. Like a switch, his demeanor drops. Despite half his face being covered, his mouth twists into a cringing, apologetic smile. Slanted and off-beat, embarrassed. It'd be disarming if this wasn't Gotham, and if he didn't just hiss at Martinez like he was about to bite his head off.

"Sorry." He whispers, voice deceptively polite and softer now. Gordon has to strain his ears to hear him. "I was looking for him."

He points his finger towards-- Gordon? No, Gordon follows the direction, and finds himself looking at -- the Bat.

The Bat, who always looks stiff as a pole, now looks even stiffer. Somehow. Well, the explains the grappling hook attached to the boy's waist.

"What are you doing here?" The Bat says, gruff and unable to completely smother the stumble of surprise in his tone.

The boy still holds a sheepish smile, and slips off the window ledge. His feet hit the creaky boards with a near-silent thud, the Batman finds his feet and rapidly begins crossing the room.

Gordon notes the slight tremble in the boy's legs as he straightens. He adjusts his scarf, which droops close to his knees now that he's standing, and slings a backpack -- how long has had that? -- off his shoulders. When the Bat reaches his side, he does as he always does, and looms over the boy like a spectre. A threatening mass of shadows cloaked in all-consuming black. Standing next to him, the boy looks teeny in comparison.

The Bat is a man who terrifies even the most hardened criminals, Gordon has seen grown men shiver in fear at the mention of his name. And yet when the boy looks up at him, he doesn't even flinch.

Instead, his sheepish smile melts away like ice under the sun, holding only traces of his previous embarrassment. It remains as a shadow on his face, a small upturn at the corners of his mouth. The boy pushes his hood back just enough to reveal glinting, ice-flint eyes surrounded in tar-black face paint. He holds the backpack up with one arm. "You forgot this."

[camellcat]

first xander brought her back with human breath and determination... then willow with supernatural power and love.... smth smth two halves to keep their third in balance from drifting too far into either side and losing herself.....

[isnt-that-wizardd]

charles and edwin core

[thepoisonroom]

honestly continually taken aback at how squeamish citizens get if you're honest about the practical calculus of immigrating, even the ones who think of themselves as pro-immigration! like why are you suddenly stumping for The Good Immigrant archetype bc i promise the immigration bureau is NOT going to fuck you!!!

[franco-barbis-sweetness]

Check out my Franco halloween pumpkin guys

[rcrisdraws]

It's 1 AM. Tumblr scrapped its own content and is negotiating selling it to OpenAI.

The world is truly closing in on artists, which is less to say that I'll ever stop making art bc making art means life to me, but what part of that is going to be shared? I don't know. I seriously don't know...

It's the main reason I left twitter.

I am already sharing less than half of what I make here on tumblr nowadays, not because I don't want to, but what's the point.

I have so many horses; AI can't do horses and it sure as hell won't learn of the back of my work.

I have suggestive fanart that has no nudity in it whatsoever and i am so happy with; following the CEP thing even that has a chance to get flagged bc i've seen it be done to other artists.

I have 10 years worth of work here, i don't want to move. But half of my art got flagged all the way in 2018 and i didn't have the energy to appeal it.

Discord already is selling everything you send through it to OpenAI. Private discord server for art sharing just doesn't work.

So what's the point?

I'm tired...

[insomnya777]

just saw moana 2 with my best friends and the entire time i was thinking wow moana and maui are soooo smallidarity coded

[the-crooked-library]

Yeah I saw memes on xtter about how Nosferatu and Babygirl are the same movie because they're about "a sigma fuckboy whisking away a woman from her weak beta male" and I'm like... is a guy who is after one (1) person that? Really? He has one obsession and contract. You're making a dumb comparison.

Same with the instagram memes that go "Virgin Orlok: had to threaten Ellen VS Chad Dracula: rizzed up Mina by telling her he crossed oceans of time". The movies have lied to you about him

Yep and it annoys me so much!.. I mean -

There are so many better and more accurate ways to make fun of Orlok. I mean, he's a massive simp, he lives with 5000 rats, he's literally rotting but he's got a 10-step moustache care routine, he had to learn to cook to feed Thomas, etc etc. There's no need to make shit up, he's a mess as it is

The Dracula shit is even more annoying tbh because the only reason Dracula is even interested in Mina in the 1992 film is BECAUSE OF ORLOK in the first place. It's a derivation of Murnau's 1922 Nosferatu, that is the first time a romantic fixation was introduced to a Dracula adaptation, and everyone that came after was just using that concept because it proved to be very compelling. Orlok is the literal origin of this romance trope

- but let's be honest, if Orlok looked like Bill Skarsgard, we wouldn't be having this conversation in the first place.

[thousandyearphantombunker]

i hate the fact the term karen went from describing a bitchy entitled customer to basically the modern day equivalent of calling a woman a harpy (misogynistic as fuck) and that people use the term on people out in public who are at the end of their rope emotionally from stress or a shitty day. I get it just because your having a rough time doesn't mean you get to be a dick but sometimes I think people are seriously lacking in empathy and I get it a lot shit the customer might be dealing with isn't your responsibility but like if a customer is struggling with something simple maybe don't be a dick? Just a thought.

[sysig]

Okay but TSP/Portal crossover AU is such a cool concept, how have I never thought about that before?? I'd like to request Narra and GLaD hanging out watching their respective little guys go through tests like 'can you believe them they're so dumb <3'

Day 30 - They're absolute hellions

Bonus:

Noooo, my bucket!!

[adhdo5]

Why do people keep putting comments on art and answers to tag games in the replies. Those go in the tags on your reblog foul beast

[celtrist]

Why does Vassago already have merch, we haven't even met him yet

[mintywallflower]

i will forever complain about how they should have given lance's closet more variety as v*ltron continued on because clearly he's a person concerned with his appearance but canonically he just wears that one fuckass fit. i think if he was shown to be wearing different kinds of clothing, not only would it fit into the comedic beats of his character that the showrunner seems so insistent on, but also symbolize his growth as exploring his true feelings more and represent the multifaceted aspects of his character. you're telling me someone who's obsessed with romance and has a whole skincare routine is wearing a boring ass t shirt and jeans? smells like insecurity to me, insecurity that lance should have been given the time and space to grow out of.

[suusoh]

Munich Arc! What if Tenma finds out about reader existence and realise that you are actually CLOSE with Johan. I would guess the doctor would try to take you away from Johan (keep you safe, though, Johan wouldn't hurt beloved reader... Right?) But I'd like to know what do you think Johan would do if this happened. Would Johan let the doctor take you or he'll keep reader to himself?

If this is munich arc he will be using you to toy against the doctor I'm sorry HAFSSFA. Not in a particularly cruel way though. Just a bit to scare tenma here and there like "oh no doctor, i'm alone in this room with them somewhere in the campus. You have 30 minutes to find where we are or else who knows what I might just do to them?". He'll always hold the possibility that darling could be his next victim over tenma's head, while you're none the wiser.

Johan would let tenma take you since he's still not aware of his true affections for you yet. So he'd shrug it off. Anyways he can always just take you back if he really wanted too.

But could you imagine being some normal college student going a out your day to day life, when some middle aged scruffy looking guy blazes in and tells you your life is in danger and urges you to keep away from johan and you're like..."who??? Oh that polite fella??? Damn. I barely even talk to that guy."

[bunnyboy-juice]

OH MY GDD I FORGOT TO TELL YALL MY WIFE CAME HOME YESTERDAY AND JUST. WOOP. PICKED ME UP LIKE NOTHING. AND THEN DID IT AGAIN LIKE 20 MINUTES LATER AGAIN LIKE NOTHING.