#or that leaves you with great difficulty working even on things you enjoy but medicated and unable to sleep

[anonymusbosch]

.

[honest-moth-of-silver-grove]

May I request a BG3 matchup?

30; afab agender; rampantly bisexual. Medical lab tech (not the cool kind), about to start grad school for forensic biology. I collect postcards and preserved specimens, and raise tarantulas + other bugs. Enjoy making nature journals, birdwatching, puzzles, music, theatre, museums, analyzing horror media, building models, working with clay, writing, reading, and board games (though I get a bit too competitive). Great in the kitchen. Autistic/ADHD. Get sensory overloaded easily. Love meeting people but mostly wish I could exist invisibly and not speak. Chronic pain limits physical activities. Most content during stormy days with candles and coffee, baking or doing a jigsaw puzzle with the windows open and music playing. Think I'm unattractive and obnoxious. OCD + bipolar dictate a lot of my brain. Tendency to word vomit and have difficulty articulating off of paper. Complain a lot and can be passive aggressive. But also like to see people happy and taken care of, and want to leave things better than I find them when possible.

A/N: Alright Tarantula Anon, since you mentioned you’re bisexual, but didn’t state a gender preference, I’ve picked out the best matches- one male and one female for you.

Your best Baldur’s Gate 3 Matches would be Astarion (Male) and Minthara (Female)!

➶ Astarion is also a character I would characterize as “rampantly bisexual” (or pansexual to be more specific in his case lol). Gender presentation isn’t something he factors into attractiveness. If he likes you, he likes you. If he thinks you’re hot, he thinks you’re hot, etc. You get the idea.

Being an immortal vampire, Astarion knows a thing or two about biology. Mainly about how to remain undetected among the human population. In the game, he explains how he never smells like a typical vampire or vampire’s den because he makes a point to scent himself with a mix of fragrances. And while he may not be a medical professional, he’s certainly had his fair share of anatomy lessons, be it distant viewings at the food of Cazador, from the many creatures he’s been forced to seduce. It’s not an exact equivalent, but I do believe he would be fascinated by the kind of work you do regarding live and preserved specimens.

And while I don’t think he’s a bug person (mainly because they were his one source of nutrition for so many years), I think he could be taught to appreciate them over time. Perhaps you could show him how all creatures, even small ones, are incredibly unique and have their own role within our vast universe. It’s humbling to think we are all so incredibly tiny and yet vastly important to the people around us.

There’s so much he’s missed out on experiencing, I think he’d quite like doing any of those activities with you: birdwatching, solving puzzles, listening to music, going to the theater or the museum, tinkering, making ceramics, writing, or reading, or playing board games… Anything! Everything! He especially enjoys the competitive nature of your games. He finds he quite likes the feeling of winning, and he plans on doing it more often. Don’t worry though, he’ll play fair. Well, fair for him, anyway.

He cannot eat so he doesn’t get to fully appreciate your kitchen prowess. But he does enjoy helping you cook. It’s strangely comforting for him to do something so domestic. It’s in moments like those, that he can see the rest of your lives together playing out.

Similarly to you, Astarion loves meeting new people. Or at least he thinks he does. So much of his extroversion was a facade, he’s not certain what part of his people skills are him and which parts were survival. So he needs time in between, away from crowds and strangers to calm down and recharge. He’s grateful that you often tug him away, reminding him to excuse the two of you before either one of you gets too overwhelmed.

He may not be a magic user, but he does what he can to support you in managing your chronic pain. He’ll get Halsin or Shadowheart or even Gale to lessen some of your symptoms. He doesn’t try to cure your condition, nor does he expect you to cure his. However, if finding a more permanent solution to your pain is something you’d want, he’s more than ready to take that journey with you.

He doesn’t think for a second that you’re obnoxious. And trust him on that. He’s met some of the most obnoxious, overwhelmingly annoying magistrates and lords in his first life. He assures you constantly: that you are nothing like them. You’re smart and kind and beautiful. Even if you can’t see it, he sees it for you. Astarion knows what it’s like to live with a body (and by extension a brain) that tells you you’re never good enough. There are still moments when he can’t see himself in a mirror for example, when he thinks of himself as a monster. He’s so grateful you’re there to comfort him and tell him otherwise.

His favorite thing in the world is to cuddle with you next to a large bay window, watching nighttime thunderstorms roll in, a book in his lap and you beside him.

☾ Minthara is often characterized as closed-off and cold. Which you could argue is true. Or you could see it as her being logical, and protective of herself and her heart. She is a drow, and by nature, well accustomed to the more gruesome side of human nature. She feels at home surrounded by macabre, whereas others may be disturbed. I think she’d find your work fascinating. And spiders are something she knows a lot about. Drows and spiders go hand in hand. She sees tarantulas as the perfect pet, they’re small enough to be contained but large enough to have personalities and be something incredible to watch.

She especially enjoys reading horror stories with you or visiting theaters or museums with horror exhibits. Perhaps one about ancient methods of torture- now that would tickle her fancy. And she appreciates your wit and candor when it comes to playing games or solving puzzles with you. So few people treasure such traits in a companion, but not her. She knows how important it is to have a discerning significant other, especially if you are going to be spending any time in the Underdark with her, where being perceptive is a must for survival. She loves your cooking. As a drow noble, she was familiar with the concepts of fancy feasts and indulgent desserts. However, due to her position, she could never truly enjoy them, for fear of being poisoned by enemies. With you doing the meal-making, she doesn't have to worry about that anymore.

Unlike you, however, Minthara is not that fond of meeting other people. She much prefers the two of you keep to yourselves unless otherwise necessary. People are tiring, and so often unimportant. She sees no need to waste her time and social graces on them. You’re the one she loves. If she’s going to do something with anyone or make an effort, it’s going to be for you and you alone.

She used to think admitting pain was weak, now however, she knows it takes an inner as well as outer strength. She will go to whatever length to ensure your comfort. Simply say the word and she will get it for you. In seeing your survival, Minthara has developed a great admiration for you as a person, seeing how resilient you are. That being said, she will not tolerate you speaking poorly of yourself. You are wonderful. You are strong in mind and spirit. You are intelligent and wise. You are gorgeous. You mean everything to her. She will not hear you put yourself down. She would not choose an unworthy mate, so do not think for a second that you are not deserving of her love and affection.

But by all means, do complain. The world can be so frivolous and pedestrian. She enjoys having someone who not only accepts hearing her own complaints but joins in with their own as well. You can be passive-aggressive in your grievances because she is extremely direct. If something bothers you, she’ll simply ask you if you wish her to kill it. And no she doesn’t care if that’s morally wrong, because for you, she would move heaven and earth if it made you happy.

She is fiercely loyal and now that she is your loving partner, you cannot shake her. She is utterly and wholly devoted to you.

[docholligay]

Ep 6: Lottie

Hello! This is about up to Episode 6 of Yellowjackets, and ONLY episode 6 of Yellowjackets. I have not seen beyond the sixth episode, at all, and know NOTHING about this show. Please do not spoil it for me.  Things that are spoilery in nature, for me, include: saying things like  “Just wait!!” confirming or denying anything I put forward, outside information about the cast interviews or creator statements, leading questions like “Do you think “blank moment” means anything?” etc. Remember  that Y’ALL HAVE SEEN THE SHOW AND I HAVE NOT. This informs the way you  talk about things relating to the show. Just be really careful is all  I’m asking. Also: If there is LITERALLY any stance I  could take on this show or character that would make you upset, please  just fucking block the tag

If you WOULD like to discuss the show and my takes on it, the Discord is right here! I don’t go there, so it’s a great place to get every emotion out.

Please thank @sailorsunspot and @moonlight-frittata for backing this odd way of doing a liveblog, and remember my tip jar is always open

So we’re clearly leaning into the idea that Lottie is, in fact, gifted. I don’t MIND this, per se, and I don’t want to come off as disappointed by it, because I’m not, but I will be annoyed if it comes down to the oversimplification of “Lottie’s got a gift and it was wrong to ever medicate her because she is not crazy” I want Lottie to be gifted AND ALSO CRAZY. I want her to be right like…oh I don’t know, is 70% of the time something we can work with? But I also want the difficulty of it, and I want having to deal with her in day to day life to be somewhat difficult. I want the challenge of it. 

Do I think the show is going to go fully into “Lottie was never crazy?” I honestly do not know. We’re half way through the show, but I feel like I’m constantly learning new things about what they are looking to do theme-wise and tonally. 

And don’t misunderstand me, I’m not saying, “If they make Lottie not crazy, it’llbe shitty writing” I think there are plenty of great ways to write it, it’ll just disappoint me, personally. Which a work is allowed to do. 

I DO love how they make fun of Lottie. There is absolutely no reason under heaven or over hell to believe that Lottie is fucking…psychic. If I am in that cabin, I am thinking Lottie is having a fucking breakdown and HIGHLY suggestible, because that is a human thing that happens, not even ~to the weak~ but it could happen to me, and it could happen to you. 

Lottie is no perfect angel victim, either, and this is maybe part of the reason I assume that they are going to play it as “Lottie was never crazy,” is that they have her still snapping back and being a bitchy teenage girl, which I enjoy, I don’t want Lottie as a perfect anything, it’s just leading to part of my not necessarily true in the light of day conclusion. 

So what do we think--and this is both about Lottie and not about Lottie--about the deer in Velvet? Obviously, its chosen because seeing a deer shedding velvet is just as weirdly gross as the show suggests, but it doesn’t actually mean anything about the health of the animal. It’s extremely normal. When Lottie sees it, it shocks her, but that wouldn’t surprise me given I assume she’s never seen that before. Velvet is also when they are growing something new, so I could maybe see my way to that, and to the idea that these antlers are going to be a new part of them, a wild part. 

But the maggots. I know this has to be asaying something about what’s going on here, but I’m not sure what it is. Obviously, it makes for a great visual, and for a really brilliantly mounting sense of despair, and it also pushes the envelope on Taissa’s idea to leave and try to find someone. But, I don’t necessarily believe that it’s just as simple as all that. 

They are starving, right? And the deer is their salvation. But at core, the thing that could save them is rotten and disgusting, but it is hidden by the idea of this perfectly healthy exterior. This, of course, could immediately relate to our girls, looking normal (Though I guess I would actually question this) on the outside, but the thing they have ahd to do to survive makes the rotten inside. Being eaten. I don’t know that it’s where we’re going, but it works for me sitting here right now. 

Speaking of that deer, I see the very prominent antler placement behind Lottie’s head as she wanders out to indulge in more prophecy/insanity. I don’t generally go back when I’m writing this stuff up, because I think it leads to an…I don’t know, inauthentic? Experience of watching the show straight through. I SHOULD miss things. I SHOULD be caught off guard. Anyway, so I refuse to prove it, but I’m pretty sure the one running the whole thing when we’re consuming our heart-wearing girl is wearing a rack of antlers. Does Lottie become some sort of priestess? 

Such a bold and really fresh choice, by the way, to have Laura Lee and the notion of Christianity and God be loving and good, instead of the nasty mean judgmental one. Doc I did not expect you to be caping for Christianity. I’m not, but c’mon, we’ve seen a lot of media in our time and it is now basically a stock character to have the mean, judgmental, uptight Christian and the show, not interested in dealing with stock ideas, completely takes away from that, and has Laura Lee be the first person in her life that makes Lottie feel like she does in fact have a divine gift. 

I so much love the dual scenes of the attempted abortion and the baptism, because they both are baptisms of a kind, and they both are about a death and rebirth and a new life. This is particularly striking in the way that they shoot Lottie’s baptism, with her seeming to drown, to die, and then to come up with fire, filled with the Holy Spirit and new life (But also maybe predicting that Laura Lee will burn. I don’t know) I will be so interested to see how this changes the nature of Lottie’s character, now that Laura Lee is essentially telling her to believe in her visions and that will make them real. It is some of the best, worst advice I’ve ever heard. 

The scene where Lottie follows the elk*, follows this wildness and goes to the altar of sorts, and lights the candle that I think is Lottie herself. And that candle becomes the pillar of fire. The thing that leads the Israelities through the desert. So this compounds on my feelings about Lottie maybe becoming a priestess, and what I think that might mean, and is it actually not going to be Jackie appearing in this struggle for leadership at all, but Taissa and Lottie? 

*Human-naive elk could provide, just, so much fucking food for this group. I know they are in the Canadian Rockies. I am not going to get too far into the weeds about this but goddamn is this sometimes a rough show to know anything about the area and wilderness broadly with.

[goldencatuae]

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[astaroth1357]

Demon Brothers Comfort an MC with Depression

As somebody who struggles with and has seen others battle depression, I know that it manifests in everyone a little differently and what works for some may not for others. Unfortunately, there is no cure-all. But if you're like me and some relief can come from comfort/being comforted, no matter how you find it, then I hope this helps you too. Please remember there's always places and people who wish to help out. Try to practice self-love and stay safe out there.

Warnings: Themes of Depression, Angst

Lucifer

His reaction to stress is work. If he’s stressed out, then he’ll do more work. It’s not that he enjoys it, it just keeps his mind distracted and he’d rather things get done. So he can recognize when someone else does the same.

Cooking, cleaning, homework, or other chores, he’s seen the MC go around doing this and that throughout the House. At first he was thankful, his brothers so rarely clean up or look after themselves, but after a while things started to seem off…

They started working themselves to the bone. He could hear them up in the middle of night sweeping or washing dishes. It was almost like they had forgotten how to sleep at night...

One night, when he left his study to go make some coffee, he found them in the library scrubbing the floors. Their shoulders were trembling with hushed whimpers and choked sobs...

He made them put the sponge away, walked them back into his study, and sat them down despite their protests. They explained their condition to him there through tears they seemingly didn’t want to shed... They’d been unable to sleep in days and were using cleaning as a distraction...

His first instinct was to put them to bed, but if they already can’t sleep then that seemed insufficient… 

He ordered them to relax in the chair and played classical music as he made them some tea. He tried to calm them down as best he could and reassured them with quiet conversation and compliments to help them stop crying. When they eventually zonked out, he carried them back to bed then set to work.

Informed Diavolo the next day that the MC was having difficulties then sought out the best treatment the human world had to offer. He personally escorts the MC there for regular services. 

Would not hear a word of protest on this. If they didn’t want to go, then he would just have kidnap a therapist and bring the treatment to them.

He instructed his brothers remind the MC to relax sometimes and watch closely for signs of overworking. They could let the house fall to pieces for all he cares, just as long as they’re getting enough sleep and feeling better.

“This simply won’t do… But that’s alright. I’ll make sure things here are better for you.”

Mammon

He's been with MC the longest, he knows what's up by now. 

He wouldn't say they have mood swings but he's picked up on how their mood rises and falls over time. They may seem perfectly fine for a while, a week, sometimes two. Then suddenly it's as if they pull back...

They'll stay in their room longer, be a bit more quiet at the dinner table, or look spaced out all the time. Like they're there, but not really with him anymore…

At first he thought it was something he was doing but they’d always tell him he’s fine. Great even. So why did they keep pulling away…?

He got worried enough about it that he asked Solomon if it was just a human thing. He’s the one who told him what depression was and that the MC may have it.

Honestly, he can’t say that he gets it completely, but he takes it seriously. If it’s making the MC feel this bad then he’s got to try something, right?

He’s unsure of what to do, so he settles for just being there for them. Constantly. If he notices that they’re pulling back again, he’ll go to their room and just be there. Even if he’s only checking his phone while sitting next to them on the bed. 

He makes sure to remind them that since they’re his human he doesn’t like seeing them sad. If they need to talk, he’s got it. If they need a hug, he’s got that too. He won’t let them feel like they’re all alone as long as he’s around.

“Tsk, look… You know you’ve got me here, right? I ain’t goin’ leave ya…”

Leviathan 

Was pretty oblivious to it until he walked into their room one day to lend them a new manga and found them curled up, crying in bed.

Panicked right away because he thought they were hurt and almost called for Lucifer before they stopped him.

After they explained the situation and that sometimes the tears just happen, he felt awful for them. He’s not exactly an emotionally secure person himself so he could relate to feeling like your mind can be against you at times.

He offers them funny manga or shows them games that make him relaxed and happy. He takes their tastes into account and tries to craft them the best “feel good” media pack an otaku can ask for.

If they’re not an otaku like he is well… He doesn’t really know what makes normies feel better, but he’ll still try there too. He’s sure there’s probably some things on Akuzon that can help. Flowers? Candy? Do crystals work on them? He’s not very equipped, but he is trying.

Asks them over for a lot more anime/game nights because he thinks if he can get them distracted, then that’s a bit of relief in and of itself. Will try very hard to make them laugh when they’re together. Every little smile is a victory in his eyes.

“Okay, I brought this, and this, and this, oh and that too! It’s a good series. We can watch it together, okay?”

Satan

Sadness is sort of new to him. When you’ve been angry most of your life you end up not very familiar with other emotions, be they your own or other people’s...

He DID know about depression though. Or at least he knew what it was. He read about it in some human medical journals after the MC came to the Devildom, just to cover his bases.

When the MC started to show signs of having it, he was hesitant to say much at first because he didn’t think his place to do so.

He changed his mind after they began skipping classes. It started out pretty minor, they’d be late for class this week then maybe leave a little early the next… But soon it seemed like they couldn’t bring themselves to go at all. 

He knew this wasn’t a Belphie situation. The MC wasn’t lazy and they cared a good deal about their grades. If something was keeping them from making it to class, it had to be serious and he wanted to help.

He read enough on the subject to be able to approach it tactfully, then presented the MC with his findings. He tried to be gentle, but he was worried and when he’s worried he wants to get to the bottom of the problem as soon as possible.

When his suspicions were proven true, he did everything in his power to help them. He read up on the condition for days and asked them a lot of questions about how they doing, how they’re feeling, what makes them comfortable, etc.

He begun looking into what treatments were available/able to be smuggled down to the Devildom while still being discreet, if that’s what they wanted. His brothers didn’t need to know.

Checks up on them a lot in the meantime and tries to cheer them up if he can. He’s not the best at it face-to-face but he may send them gifs and pics of kittens doing kitten things. That usually helps him, so maybe it will help them too?

“Don’t worry, you can get through this. There’s a lot of options available. Here, let me show you what I’ve found...”

Asmodeus

Even the most beautiful people can feel depressed sometimes and Asmo knows that.

It started with him fussing over their appearance like he does with all his brothers, semi-playfully of course.

“MC, are you getting enough beauty sleep? MC, why don’t you do something more with your hair? MC, you could look cuter than that! MC? Are you listening...?”

It didn’t take long, though, for him to notice the dip in their self-care was getting steeper… And it wasn’t like them. They didn’t put as much pride in their appearance as he does (who can?) but they had a style. There was a way they liked to present themselves to other people. They just weren’t doing that anymore…

Something was wrong and he was sure of it.

When he invited the MC to his room that day, he didn’t have any ulterior motives for once. He wasn’t looking for a night of fun, only answers to soothe his concern. 

He had never been more gentle or considerate of their feelings than he was right then; coaxing but never prodding until finally they let him in wholeheartedly.

He held the MC as they cried, listened to every word they had to say, never interrupted or complained, and just brushed every tear away.

Makes it his mission to take care of the MC inside and out. Spa days become a regular occurrence where he will ask how they’re doing and let them vent whatever they need. If they don’t feel like talking, then he will take over and try to make them laugh with some embarrassing gossip about his brothers.

Wholeheartedly believes that one's mental health is entwined with one’s physical, so will make them feel the most beautiful and relaxed they ever have in hopes that it might soothe that emotional pain too.

“Go on, sweetheart, and let it all out… Don’t worry. I’m listening.”

Beelzebub 

His first tip off was the food. They weren't eating.

Beel's pretty perceptive to what food is around him at all times so he’s the first to notice MC's portions getting smaller… then their plates stay half full.

That worried him enough but when they started skipping meals all together he knew he needed to step in and find out what was wrong. Were they sick?

He gently cornered them one day in the kitchen when they went to grab some instant noodles. It was well past noon and that was the only thing he'd seen them eat since yesterday's breakfast. He knows they're never as hungry as he is, but that has to hurt them too, right?

When he asked about their appetite they wouldn't meet his eyes. They tried to tell him that they were fine but that wasn't going to fly. He called their bluff immediately.

He didn’t expect them to start crying... Honest.

He felt horrible and just pulled them into a hug while they let it out, rocking them gently like he does with Belphie when he’s upset.

When they explained to him what depression is and how they don’t feel like eating sometimes it makes him more worried than before. He honestly can’t process the idea of not being hungry for such long periods of time but it sounds bad for them surely…

From that day forward he keeps a close eye on their food intake. He’ll be the first to encourage them to eat and even offer his own food if they haven’t had any yet. If they’re looking a little down, he’ll offer them snacks from his comfort food stash.

He’s always down to be with them when they need it. No questions asked. If they just show up at his room or send him a text then he’ll be there. He doesn’t mind if they don’t feel like talking, he just hopes his presence helps somehow.

“Do you need me right now? Okay. I’ll order us a pizza but you have to eat some of it too, alright?”

Belphegor 

It’s not an unfamiliar feeling to him. He went through his own sad spells after Lilith died… Back then he coped with it through sleeping most of the day and being with Beel.

He started to notice that the MC was sleeping more. At first he was kind of happy because then they could nap together, but it started getting worse…

They’d sleep almost all day. Humans only need 8 hours but they’d go 14 or more… Not even he can stay in bed that long...

When they were awake they’d be quiet. They’d like to hold him but they weren’t telling him what was wrong…

After a while, he got so worried that he looked up what could be making them so sleepy. When he read about depression it all clicked in place for him, not just about them but about himself too.

One night, while they were having another afternoon nap/snuggle, he gently brought up the subject and they confirmed his suspicions.

What proceeded was a long conversation between the two where he admitted to sometimes feeling the same. They compared notes and thoughts, shared pain and scars, and talked about little things that might not mean much, but made them smile and feel happy to be in the world.

He made a deal with them to start staying up more if he did the same. He skipped class less often in order to wake up and go to school with them and stayed near them while they’re there just in case they started losing steam. 

He wouldn’t force them to do any schoolwork or anything, but he would try to keep them up and about by inviting them in on pranks or talking to them so they won’t fall asleep until a good time for it. He just wanted them to be happy and healthy.

Promised that no matter how long the day took, he’d still cuddle them to sleep at night.

“Hey, if I’m not sleeping then you aren’t either. Come on… We can do this together.”

[candyopala]

Stuck in his ways, Chapter 5

Chapter Summary:  Y/N’s training begins, but not before she discovers one of Obito’s secrets.

Words: 1.7k

AO3

Please reblog or like if you enjoy, comments are always welcome <3

5:30 in the morning. It is the sixth time Y/N has woken up. This whole concussion thing has messed up her whole sleeping schedule, she tried her best to get some rest, but to no avail. She ended up sleeping for about fourteen or fifteen hours between small intervals, but she feels worse than before. 

Y/N drags herself out of bed, makes some coffee, and brushes her teeth, the whole deal. Having a constant roof above her head is nice, she has to admit that. Not having to worry about wild animals and the climate is cool, but the warmth of a bed is the best part of it. Tying her brand new bandana on her forehead, she leaves the small apartment and heads to the training grounds on the outskirts of the village.  

She makes her way through the village’s main market, trying to avoid stumbling onto the hundreds of busy people bustling around her. Watching people attend to their duties and following their routines has always been a hobby of hers, she always found interest in seeing people who can afford to do the same thing every day, have some sort of routine. Can she consider herself one of them now? No, maybe not. Ninjas are always doing different missions and whatnot; their routines are as fucked up as a merc’s. Maybe she can become a baker in another life, who knows? 

Around the corner, a hand blocking her way surprises her. At the end of it is a medium height man with his hair tucked into some sort of fabric, with bits of brown hair coming out of the sides. The man holds a toothpick between his lips, accompanied by a smug smile and an attitude that instantly annoys Y/N. 

“’Sup babygirl, how come I’ve never seen you around?”

“I’ve been busy for the last 26 years”

“Busy living in my dreams, I bet”

“Busy fucking you mom, actually”

The sleazy type is the worst in Y/N’s opinion. Nothing disgusts her more than someone who thinks they’re hot shit just because they’re attractive. She pushes him away and keeps on walking.  

“Ouch! Feisty, I like that. I’ll remember ya!” he states as he leaves the scene with a wink and a flick of his toothpick. 

This has to be a joke, what a douchebag.

Going back on her way and observing the people, she closes into a mass of messy short black hair. The man has his back turned to her, but by the jonin vest and height, she assumes it could be… no, wait… it could not be! This man is helping an old lady carry a shitload of groceries, he would never be nice enough to do that. 

Could it be him!?

From afar, she changes angle to try and catch a glimpse of his face. After much difficulty dodging busy locals, she is able to see clearly and… it’s Obito! Obito Uchiha helping a poor old lady carry her stuff, I wish I had a camera on me. She thinks of approaching him, but she decides against it in favor of watching from a distance to see where this goes. 

Turns out the frail woman lives on the other side of town. Obito sure enough has carried all that stuff through the worst climbs Y/N has ever seen on a city. But that was not all: he was being extra nice. He laughed at all her jokes and even smiled back at her. This is grade A entertainment. 

When they finally reach her destination, the old lady pulls out a lollypop and gives it to him. Y/N immediately loses her shit, almost falling from the ceiling she is in because of her fit of laughter. Before she can compose herself, she notices a presence behind her. She was discovered, but who cares? She has seen enough. Obito towers above her, trying to look intimidating, but failing to do so since he has a lollipop on his mouth. 

“First you invade my house, now you’re following me. Are you sure I’m the one who should be called a creep?”

“Well, you’re right. Maybe I’ll start calling you… Granny Simp Uchiha©, how about that?”  

“I hate you”

“Ow, I’m so hurt, oh my god, how could you? But seriously, I didn’t mean to intrude, but when I saw that… I needed to see more to believe it” She states as she breaks into another fit of laughter

“Let’s go, we’re late for training”

“Have you ever been on time a day of your life, though?”

“Never, I’ll probably be late for my own funeral”

“Fair enough. Wait, did you just make a joke that’s not on my expense?”

“Oh no, your dumbassery is influencing me!” He raises his gloved hands ironically

“Shut up”

 ~”~

 They both reach the training grounds at around 7:30, late but not a whole lot, thanks to Obito’s kamui. Obito will have to make some slight modifications on the mission report to avoid Minato’s wrath. After a quick warmup, Obito goes straight to the point: 

“How much do you even know about jutsu?”

“Well… I can do that chakra punch, maybe walk on water and trees or release genjutsu, but that’s all.”

“Not even a clone or some substitution jutsu?”

“Nope”

“So you’re basically an academy student with enough brute force to take down S rank criminals… That’s… odd”

Y/N scratches the back of her head, clearly embarrassed by her lack of training. Obito did not expect to have to teach such basic things. I mean, if he wanted to teach people stuff he would have signed up for a job at the academy. He still cannot believe Minato sensei is putting him up to this babysitting job. 

He needs to do well on this mission if he wants to get back onto the Hokage’s good side and guarantee his position as the next one. This is his second day with Y/N and things have been insane and… fun? No, he should not be thinking like that. Perhaps he should also go talk with Kushina and ask her to convince sensei to let him go from this one; he was always her favorite after all.

“Granny simp? You ok? Did I disappoint you that much?”

Obito fixes his bandana’s position over his left eye, trying to get himself out of his head. He is here now, so he had better get to work. If he can control himself enough not to put her under a nasty genjutsu for calling him that again, that is. 

“Call me that again and I’ll tell everyone that you saw me naked”

“You were not naked, dickhead. And what’s wrong with that?”

“Uhm…?”

“…?”

“Anyway… we’ll start with some cloning jutsu. Have you ever done any seals?”

“Only one or two”

“Try to copy what I’m doing”

“Hey! Stop doing it so fast!”

She honestly seems to be giving her best, but her hand signs are not quite right and the chakra distribution on her network must be all wrong, judging by her failure in producing something that seems to be remotely human. This takes Obito’s memory back to his old academy days, back when he could not do a single clone properly. He would spend whole nights awake training to achieve something passable. Rin helped him a lot back then. The only thing he has ever taught someone was that sexy jutsu to Naruto. To say Kushina was mad was an understatement. 

“Concentrate your chakra all along your body, not only on your hands”

“Hum… right, can I get a lollipop after this?”

Four hours later and Y/N has finally mastered two basic jutsu: substitution and cloning. She almost passed out several times due to exhaustion, but thanks to some food pills, she is enduring todays training much better. 

Obito has been analyzing her every movement with his sharingan. Looking closely her techniques lack grace, truly a sign of someone who learned everything they know by experience. He needs to fix that too. 

Her endurance is also remarkably low. If she were to fight right now, she could do maybe two or three jutsu before passing out, making her rely solely onto her speed and blade habilities. The girl is more of a samurai than a ninja at this point. Examining her file earlier, he noticed that her chakra reserves are not that low as she has stated before, according to the medical department she has an average quantity of it. She just lacks the ability to use it properly.  

Some very hard work is in order; it could take some months to get her into decent shape. That would be too much time and effort for Obito, there has to be another way of dealing with this mission quicker. 

He did not want to do this, but he will have to talk to Kakashi for some teaching tips. Hell, if he was able to teach anything useful to Naruto he will be able to come up with a routine to help Y/N’s training. 

I just hope he doesn’t decide to bother me about this situation…

After dropping Y/N on her house, with much protest from her part, Obito heads to the village’s café to meet with Kakashi Hatake. He knows that the ninja likes to spend his late afternoons reading his porn books accompanied by some coffee, disgusting stuff if you ask Obito. The coffee, that is. He has no formed opinion on porn books.

Approaching the store, he spots his friend’s mass of upward pointing grey hair. Something is different about him, though. Kakashi is usually… a very apathetic person. The look he gave Obito had chills running the Uchiha’s spine, he looked, well, excited. 

“Obito! I finally found you! Sit down”

Aliens killed him and this is a body double. Or this is one of Gai’s practical jokes. Obito is honestly stumped.

“Are you ok bakashi?”

“Great! So… who’s the girl?”

Great, just awesome.      

“I don’t know what you’re talking about”

“Of course you know, everyone is talking about how you were seen walking up and down with some mysterious gal. I’m so happy for you! Finally you’re going to stop being a sad grumpy bachelor! I’ll call dibs on the position of best-man” and suddenly Kakashi jumps up from his seat, coming closer to Obito’s face “Have you guys done it yet? Did she run away from you and now you need my advice? You could use some techniques from Icha I-”

“What the fuck is wrong with you? Those books are rotting your brain, seriously what the hell?”

“So is it true?”

[16woodsequ]

Weekly headcannon ask!

Do you have any headcannons or opinions on Steve and his dads relationship?

Hi! Sorry this took a bit, but here we are!

I do have some headcanons about Steve’s dad, and because I’m me, a lot of them are pretty angsty, so be warned!

TW: discussion of child abuse, ableism, and alcoholism

So first off, we have to talk about whether or not Steve’s dad is even alive. I’ve discussed this a little in a previous headcanons post, but Steve’s dad is technically dead in the mcu. Steve says he died of mustard gas. In the comics of course, Steve’s dad makes it home from the war, and is generally a terrible person.

I usually headcanon that Steve lied about when exactly his dad died. If Steve’s’ dad made it back from the war, then I headcanon he was a gas casualty at some point, and had lung issues afterwards. If he then died from something like influenza, then Steve could technically claim he died from mustard gas, without it being 100% a lie.

I headcanon that Steve does this, because I headcanon that Joseph Rogers (if he survives the war) is abusive. I imagine Sarah Rogers told Steve that he came back from the war a different person, and I can see Steve thinking to himself that the mustard gas killed his dad, just slower.

So anyways, that is an easy way to work around Steve’s claim that his dad died from mustard gas. If Joseph was abusive I can see Steve sort of wishing his dad had died in the war like he claimed. 

Joseph Rogers’ A+ Parenting

I haven’t read the comics, so I am not sure if any of them expand on why exactly Joseph is abusive, but I imagine it has a few layers to it. For one, he is a veteran who is no doubt dealing with trauma in a time period when the effects of shellshock are not fully recognised. Alcohol is a common self-medicating tool, and I can see Joseph turning to that for relief.

Add onto that Joseph being a gas casualty, I usually headcanon that it is harder for him to breath after the war. PTSD and difficulty breathing would be a frustrating loss of control for someone like Joseph, and that isn’t even taking into account the daily stress of living in poverty as an Irish-Catholic.

And then there is Steve himself. Steve is chronically ill. He wouldn’t be the ideal son. His illness would cost money, and his breathing problems would probably remind Joseph too much of his own issues.

Ableism would be an easy thing for Joseph to latch on to. Eugenics was popular in that time period, and I can see Joseph seeing Steve as the embodiment of a lot of his anger. He went to war and barely made it back to his wife and child, but his child is sickly and can hardly breathe, and when he gets sick he uses up money that they don’t have.

Of course, Joseph wouldn’t be helping anything. I imagine he would have worked as much as he could, but it is debatable how well he could hold a job. I usually headcanon that he died right before the Great Depression, so he didn’t have to deal with that, but even if jobs were more available in the 1920s, I think his alcoholism would be his worst enemy and lose him jobs every couple of years or so, if not more frequently.

Sarah would be working too, since working class women would be more likely to work than middle class women, but I can see Joseph being sore about that too. I imagine every time he lost his job he was extra bitter about the fact that he had to rely on his wife’s work to survive. Toxic masculinity was deeply entrenched in that time period, so feeling emasculated would not have helped Joseph’s mood at all. 

As for how often he drank, it is kind of hard to say. Technically prohibition was going on, but it was easy enough to drink in speakeasies most of the time. I’m not sure how easy it would be for him to buy alcohol and drink it at home, but it would be realistic for him to come home drunk.

Even if he had work that could be the case, since I imagine his work buddies would often go out for a drink after their shift. Of course, Joseph’s drinking would do nothing to help the financial situation of the family.

Joseph and Steve

I imagine Joseph was abusive and was a violent drunk, but while I think he hurt Steve, I don’t think he regularly beat him to a pulp. This is mostly because if he did that, then Steve would die. Steve is sick enough that I don’t think he would survive regular all-out beatings.

Of course, that doesn’t mean Joseph didn’t grab, push, hit, etc. But I think his anger tunnel-visioned on things, so if he were distracted away from it, or Steve managed to get out of the general area, then his focus would be taken elsewhere.

I think Joseph did a lot of damage with his words though. I imagine he yelled a lot about Steve’s inadequacies and how Steve is a waste of money, etc. That kind of thing would stick with Steve for a long time, and I can see him trying to be the least of a burden possible in response.

In general, living with Joseph would put anyone on edge. Even when he wasn’t actively hurting people, he could still get mad over basic things that remind him of his helplessness. Being around him would be like walking on eggshells. I imagine young-Steve flinched at loud noises and slamming doors, and yelling, but also tried not to show it, because his dad didn’t like him ‘being a coward’.

Also, I headcanon that adult Steve never really liked the smell of alcohol, especially on other people. I think part of him was a little glad that the serum made it so he couldn’t get drunk, because that means he can never get violent like his dad. I think Steve was always a little afraid of letting his temper get the best of him after the war, and so he tried to bury his feelings instead of dealing with them, because he didn’t want to turn out like his dad. 

Good times

As all humans, Joseph would have his good days. Maybe he found a new job, or maybe something else put him in a good mood, but sometimes he would come home without being angry.

Those would be hard days too, in a way, because Steve and Sarah wouldn’t know if something would set Joseph off—and some days, acting worried that he will get mad would be enough to make him mad.

But I think Steve must have at least a few good memories of his dad. Maybe his dad being proud of him for a good grade in school, or maybe even being proud of him for facing off against bullies and telling them what’s what.

I think sometimes Joseph would try to treat Steve as though he were the son he wanted. He would chat with him about things they could do together ‘as men’, or he would tell him stories of his own boyhood days...but then, inevitable Steve would get sick again, and Joseph’s good humour would wash away.

Others and Joseph

I don’t think Joseph’s abusiveness was a very well kept secret. Tenement building walls are thin, and I imagine the neighbours knew what was going on. But I doubt Joseph was the only loud/violent drunk in the building.

Bucky might not have known the full extent of what was happening—because he was a kid—but he would have seen some of the bruises, and maybe Steve’s initial cautiousness around his own dad, and he would come to the correct conclusion. I don’t think Steve talked a lot about what was happening, but he would probably talk about his dad getting angry about certain things, or breaking stuff sometimes.

I imagine Bucky’s mom knew more about what was going on, and would do her best to help Sarah out, but Sarah would be in a tough spot. Divorce and single-motherhood were generally frowned upon, and her poverty would also make it harder to leave Joseph.

As for Steve’s teachers etc. I think most of them suspected too. But I don’t think much came about from it. Interesting fact, doctors were not legally required to report child abuse cases until the 60s.  

Joseph death

This is a headcanon I’ve had laying around that I haven’t been able to put anywhere yet, but I headcanon that Joseph died of influenza when Steve was between 8 and 10. Given their poverty, I think Joseph would have died at home, which is kind of horrible, since that would mean Steve was around to watch his dad get sicker and sicker, and then eventually die.

As an extra cruelty, I think Joseph would be pretty peeved at dying this way, and I can see him vindictively telling Steve that he will die this way too one day, since he gets so sick all the time. I can just see Joseph being spiteful and saying something like that while Steve is trying to look after him while Sarah is working.

MCU canon Joseph

I also have a few thoughts for if Joseph did die in the war, and didn’t come back. I’ve seen content speculating that Steve wanted to join the army because his dad was a soldier. I don’t know if the comics say that anywhere, but I usually headcanon otherwise.

I think having a father who died in war (or having an abusive one afterwards), and seeing what that did to Sarah, Steve would know all too well what war could do to people. 

No doubt Steve’s father would be on his mind while he tried to enlist, but I think saying he wanted to join mainly because his father was a soldier takes away from the heart of the reason Steve wanted to join—he felt like Hitler needed to be stopped, and he didn’t have a right not to do something about it.   

Well, that got longer than I thought it would, but I hope you enjoyed! 

Headcanon masterpost

[sylvie--laufeydottir]

an obligatory analysis of sylvie’s character (aka: who betrayed who?)

in case you can’t tell, i like sylvie. but here’s a big fuckin post where i share my thoughts on her role in the finale in a sort of disjointed kind of way.

NOTE: this isn’t about sylki. i don’t ship it personally, but that isn’t really relevant to this at all. this also doesn’t go into the criticisms i have of the show because this isn’t really the place for that. maybe i can do that later, whatever.

also, this is gonna be a long post. i have a lot of thoughts.

sylvie’s introduction and motivations

one of the first things we learn about sylvie is her opposition to the tva. (okay, it’s literally the first thing, whatever.) in episode 3, we get to see her entire plan - overthrow whoever’s running the tva, and... that’s it. loki questions her about the power vacuum that would leave, to which she shows that she’s not interested in running the tva. (this is also stated in ep 2.) her goals are clear. she wants rid of the entire organisation, and doesn’t care about or want the sort of power that would come with pulling the strings.

her reasoning for this seems pretty simple. she doesn’t want the power ruling the tva would entail because she knows what it’s like to be on the other end of that deal. she had everything taken from her as a child, and doesn’t want that to happen to anybody else. she believes that that kind of power belongs to nobody, not even herself.

this easily establishes her as a character who, despite having an ego, has principles that trump everything else. she’s very dedicated to her cause; the ‘never at the expense of the mission’ line in ep 3 just states it out loud. her entire life has been dedicated to this cause. this is a good time to segue into the next section...

sylvie’s personality, character and flaws

she’s fuckin stabby.

despite only really being present for 4 out of the 6 episodes of the show, we manage to get a pretty good idea of sylvie’s personality right from the start thanks to episode 3 being largely a character study with both her and loki. she’s shown as a very competent and strong character - however, contrary to marvel’s guidebook on writing female characters, those aren’t personality traits. what we actually see of her is that she’s very confident, and has a tendency to be rude or dismissive of other people. episode 3 has a bunch of examples of this, but the easiest one to point to is the fireworks scene. after loki does something nice to cheer her up, something which visibly works, her response is to waive it away as ‘not bad’.

her coldness in this scene even after bonding with loki is likely due to her upbringing. sylvie spent the majority of her life, including her childhood, on the run, unable to form relationships with people who weren’t moments away from dying. it feels a bit redundant for me to point this out, but this is, as they say in the medical field, mega fucking traumatic. not only did sylvie not have the opportunity to form these kinds of connections, she couldn’t even develop the ability to form them. loki is a bandaid to cover a bullet hole in this regard, one she needs years to heal from. while she does bond with him to an extent, she is physically unable to trust him to the point where they can be considered close.

another thing we learn about sylvie is that she’s very violent - and that she enjoys it. being a character that grew up running from an organisation that wanted her dead, it makes sense for her first instinct to be confrontational. however, despite having to fight to survive, she visibly takes pleasure from fighting. this was brought up in an interview with sophia (that i am not going to link here, because tumblr is kind of a hellsite and i’m not in the mood for that today). here’s a nice extract instead.

“She's not trained like Loki is,” Di Martino continues. “She can't do some of the flourishes that he would, but she's figured out how to brawl. She's a street fighter and she loves it. That was a really great key to unlocking part of Sylvie for me, was how much she just loves a fight. She knows that she's either going to win, or if she isn't going to win, she'll survive. She's that damaged character who's dangerous because she knows she can survive.”

her tendency towards violence is actually a key part of sylvie’s character. this works as both a strength and a flaw. on the one hand, she’s able to survive scrapes most other characters wouldn’t, and she knows that. she’s not one to freeze in most (note: most) scenarios, because she knows what to expect. on the other hand, violence isn’t always the answer, and she’s very unlikely to consider any other option than a fight.

her enchantment abilities tie into this - they’re another weapon for her to use, and one she’s not afraid to call on. however, her eagerness to enchant people without hesitation puts her in a pretty bad place morally. her enchantment clearly leaves hunter c-20 traumatised, and yet she’s more than willing to enchant people for the sake of the mission. she’s also relatively dismissive of human sentient lives. an early example of this is in episode 2, where loki asks her if the person she had enchanted was dead, to which she responds with a casual ‘they usually survive’. additionally, she’s more than willing to fight the guards on the train in episode 3, despite them seeing her as a threat for completely understandable reasons.

in the case of the guards, her reasoning for placing such little value on their lives is likely that they’re about to die anyways. everyone on lamentis is doomed, so from her point of view, whether they die at her hands or at the hands of the moon from majora’s mask isn’t really important. however, c-20 is a different story. sylvie places next to no value on the lives of the tva’s workers, content to slaughter them en masse for the sake of her goal. this is despite her knowing that every one of the tva workers is a variant plucked from the sacred timeline. this sets up a weird sort of transactional nature in how sylvie views other people - to her, they’re less important than the mission, and she doesn’t hesitate to eliminate threats.

was this a long section? this was a long section. i would like to call back to the fact that this is not a sylki post for this next part. and also to praise anyone that got this far, because fucking hell, is this excessively long or what? who would have the time to write this out?

sylvie’s bond with loki

i want to go back to that whole thing about her relationship with loki. he’s the first person she’s really spoken to since she was a child who isn’t about to face imminent death. furthermore, despite their differences, they have quite a lot in common - enough to hit it off surprising well for two people who kind of want to kill each other. they’re able to relate on common ground like frigga, and even though they clash due to loki’s initial carelessness, they’re overall able to get along well enough aside from occasional bickering. the blanket scene from episode 5 is probably the best example of this. sylvie allows herself, albeit briefly, to be vulnerable around loki.

except, not really. one of the first things she does is tries to ensure he won’t betray her. i’ve seen somebody cite this before as proof that her fondness towards him isn’t real, and that she was planning on betraying him from the start, hence why it was on her mind. that’s definitely possible, but i think it’s far more likely that it’s just her difficulties connecting to people stopping her from feeling safe around him even as they share a nice moment. she really does seem to care about loki - an easy example of this is her asking how he is during episode 4 without being prompted. she’s just unable to properly process these kinds of feelings due to an incomprehensible amount of trauma. as loki puts it, she can’t trust.

and loki can’t be trusted. she knows - or at least, thinks she knows - his nature as a trickster and a villain. loki embodies a part of sylvie that she considers herself completely separate from; the tva-approved liar whose purpose is to bring out the best in others. while she does show him more decency than to treat him like that, at the end of the day, he represents something that makes her deeply uncomfortable, hence her rejection of the loki name. despite what they have in common, loki is an incredibly difficult person to trust, especially for somebody who has deep-rooted trust issues. so, this brings us onto...

who betrayed who?

so, sylvie and loki make it to kang’s castle. after all this time, she’s finally about to reach her life’s goal. she’s clearly nervous - this is out of her comfort zone, unlike most fights. loki reassures her, and they head in. they meet kang, learn the true nature of the tva, have the opportunity to kill him...

and loki stops her.

loki’s motivations are left ambiguous. the uncharitable interpretation is that he wants to rule the tva for himself, as per kang’s offer. he’s expressed such an interest to sylvie before. for the loki we know in avengers 1, this seems perfectly in character.

however, for the loki we’ve seen in the show, there’s a different option. he believes kang’s threat that there are multiple of him, and that killing him won’t solve anything. to him, he isn’t willing to risk unknown horrors for the sake of taking his revenge out on kang. this is the loki who offered diplomacy and guile to counteract sylvie’s brute force.

but sylvie, who can’t trust, assumes the worst.

to her, loki was the one who betrayed her. they had a plan - find whoever pulls the strings, and destroy them. to her, loki’s hesitation isn’t caution, but treachery. taking kang’s offer to rule the tva is exactly what she thinks she should’ve expected from the guy who hurts everybody who loves him. her fight or flight responses kick in, and she chooses the one she always chooses. loki’s attempts to reassure her fall on deaf ears, not just because she doesn’t want to trust him, but because she’s physically incapable of it. she makes the short-sighted decision of brute force, just like she did back on lamentis, because it’s all she’s ever known, and the cause she’s dedicated her life to.

from the outside, it looks like sylvie was the one who betrayed loki, but things look pretty different from where she’s standing.

this is why i take issue with people calling sylvie a ‘villain’ or questioning whether this was her plan for the start. in my opinion, her motivations line up pretty clearly as a creature of habit, one who panics at the first hint of smoke and pushes away the first person she’s been able to bond with for the sake of self-preservation. did she make the wrong decision? unquestionably - the effects of her actions will no doubt plague the multiverse (and the mcu, for us) for as long as they go unchecked. but she made the only decision she was capable of making, and that’s not villainous, just tragic.

conclusion

well, this is a kind of depressing way to finish this post. for what it’s worth, though, i don’t think sylvie is a doomed character. regardless of how brief it was, she did show a real connection with loki. just because something requires a lot of healing doesn’t make it impossible. this is why i like sylvie as a character so much; she’s deeply flawed and complex, but that complexity makes her interesting, and relatable. marvel has a long history of sexy lamps and supposed ‘tortured backstories’, but sylvie is the first time they paid attention to this with their character writing without having to give somebody a wholeass prequel movie. with loki confirmed to appear in multiverse of madness, i’m hoping we see more of sylvie - not as a villain, but as a hero who can overcome her past experiences and rise to better things.

or maybe another kang shows up and kills her immediately. who knows.

[vesperstalksclones]

Ok so @captainrexisboo was talking to people about Rex and cinnamon flavored mouth wash, which made this amazeballs art happen by @samrubio and that got me thinking about clones and tasty flavors.... and I'm a dirty hoe... and this fell out of my Brain:

Peppermint Playtime

(or something like that)

*I'm sorry, I cannot for the life of me figure out how to do a "read more" line with my phone. Please forgive me.

*Kix x gender neutral reader

*Filth filth filth, Kix gets his brain sucked out thru his peepee, and things get crazy there is a little finger walking of the dirt trail. Just saying.

Have fun!!

●●●●●●

Kix had excused himself to go search out some food, allowing you the first bit of privacy You'd had in four days.

You'd been dispatched to Torrent squadron after the 501st had discovered a hidden slave camp tucked into the dense jungles of this gods-forsaken planet, the occupants suffering terribly from malnutrition and exposure. Tending wounded troopers as well as suffering civilians was more than he was equipped for, so the chief medical officer had dispatched you and a transport of supplies to fill the need. Kix had arched a brow at the nat-born medical technician he'd been landed with, chuckled at your name, Magik' (left over from university when you could repeat practically all of Magik's Anatomy Atlas verbatim) and within the hour was eye-fucking you from the table where he was irrigating infected wounds. Quite the romantic first meeting.

Truth be told, even the difficulty of a four day grind in the field ward couldn't blind you to how damn beautiful the trooper was. They were all made from the same man… but Kix seemed… more, somehow. His amber eyes seemed to burn with more gold and his hair was an inker ebony… his lips more plush and his lilting baritone voice richer. You might have indulged in a great deal of reciprocal eye fucking.

Now, in the privacy of his little cubby hole, you shed your filthy clothes, adding them to the growing pile and dug out your precious pouch of wipes and a spray bottle of saniwash. Metered showers on the Venator sucked. Wipes sucked far more. But you were sweaty and tired and the massaging of the towel bath was marvelously soothing after the grind. You scrubbed yourself down thoroughly, sighing at the cool air kissing at your skin as you ran your palms over your chest and belly to whisk away any remaining moisture. Stooping, you retrieved the used cloths and straightened, your eyes locking with the wide eyed stare of the medic who had appeared out of nowhere and was watching you a little slack jawed. 

Your insides jumped, but outwardly you remained cool, tilting your head coyly at him.

"Kix… how long have you been standing there?" 

A look of panic crossed his face and he gritted his teeth, the spell suddenly broken by the sound of your voice. 

"Not… not too long…. I didn't see… I…" he stammered. You couldn't help but adore his bashfulness, even as the two of you had stared across more naked bodies in the past few days than you'd care to count. 

"Oh, stop. Get over here, you need to clean up!" 

He shuffled forward, discarding the food packets he'd brought before drawing himself up in front of you, training his eyes somewhere above your head. 

"I can help… If you want me to."

His eyes snapped down to yours, surprise painting his features… but also maybe… eagerness?

"If that's ok…" You continued, nodding innocently as your lips pursed.

He nodded, the corners of his mouth turning up into a small grin.

You tucked your fingers under the hem of his blacks, tugging the shirt up until his navel peeked out.

"Look, Kix… It's been a shitty couple of days and I just… I really want to put my hands on something healthy and … " You shuddered as you pressed your palms against the muscles of his abdomen. "... gorgeous."

He nodded again, the corner of his mouth creeping high into smirk, realizing what you were getting at and immensely enjoying the idea. You pulled the shirt the rest of the way off, and he hiked a booted foot up onto a container, working at loosening the shinguards. Not wanting to waste time you worked at his back, marveling at how the droplets of the wash collected on the rippled bronze muscles and the prickles that rose wherever your nails scraped at him while you scrubbed. He threw up the other boot to be loosened as you kneaded at his shoulders, pulling a groan from the medic's lips. You rubbed the tension away until he straightened and stepped out of the armored boots, now clad only in the black tights. 

Grabbing the wash he hurriedly got to scrubbing his chest, eager to get business finished and move on to other things. Never to be the shy one, you cupped your palms over his hips, pressing yourself against his back, and rolling your hips against his ass, eliciting a small noise of approval. He was getting to work on his face when your fingers dipped down the front of his thighs and came together in the front, molding over the growing bulge in his pants. 

"Oh hell… " he groaned, canting his hips forward to press against your palms. "That's not helping."

"Then hurry up, Sir."

He growled low in his throat, dragging his pants down to hurriedly scrub himself as your fingers played at his abdominals, scratching little trails around his hips and scooping handfuls of his firm rear.

"Fucking Maker, you're beautiful." You whisper harshly, nipping at his shoulder. 

Kix clawed his tights the rest of the way off, with a grunt and spun to face you. His arm slipped around your waist and crushed you against his belly, his other hand fisting in your hair and gripping it snugly. 

" What did you want Magik, that you're so damn eager for?" He jerked your head lightly with the fist. "You think I didn't see you looking at me the last few days?" He brushed his lips against yours, holding you back when you stretched to kiss him. "What were you thinking about?"

Your nails were digging into his arms, the tension that hung over the two of you was nearly palpable. You were both exhausted and strung out and really needed something good and mind blowing to force you into a few hours of blissful slumber. 

"I want your cock… I want you in my mouth. I want your hands in my hair, and I want you to loose your damn mind."

"Fuck yes." He growled, slanting his lips over yours, groaning harshly as he thrust his tongue in your mouth, caressing at yours and exploring your warmth. 

You pushed him away and he let you go, your teeth scraping down his neck as you left. You dropped to your knees, pushing him back against the crates harshly and pressed your lips to his middle, leaving searing kisses and licks as you worked your way towards your prize. You were nuzzling at the crease of his thigh, his hard erection bumping at your cheek when you had a thought. He'd worked so damn hard to save those people… why not make things a bit more special for him. You scrambled to the side and dug in the pocket of your smock. He watched you curiously as you unearthed your tin of peppermints and scooped a bunch on to your tongue. You crunched them quickly, shuddering at the intensity of the mentholated chill they brought. Grabbing one of the cold beverages he brought, you slunk back before him and met his eyes with a naughty look in your own. 

"You worried about your breath?" He asked, confusion plain on his face. 

You shrugged and smiled sweetly. "No… but you should be."

His brows raised as you dipped your head towards his member, curling your tongue along his shaft, smiling at his moan of defeat. 

He ran his fingers through your hair before fisting them firmly, holding you tightly as you set to work. You spread your lips over the head, the velvety softness of the skin dragging against yours. A bead of pre-come had swelled at the tip and you ran your tongue through it, teasing at the tiny opening there as his breath hitched. Wetting your mouth thoroughly you slid him past your lips and on to your tongue, sucking experimentally at the mouthful as Kix shuddered above you. 

Flicking your eyes up to his, you found his mouth agape, his golden eyes locked on your face, the point of contact, memorizing the sight of his cock disappearing into you. 

"Is that good, Ad'ika? Take more…"

You pull away and plant a sloppy kiss to the head, before enveloping him again and pushing forward, taking more of his length with each bob of your head. His hands gripped tighter, pushing you forward firmly and you knew what he was wanting. You swallowed around him, shoving him deeply into your throat until your head spun and your nose brushed his abdomen and your shoulders shook as your body fought to reject his length. Fortunately a calm head and a lazy gag reflex kept things smooth and you slipped away, only to press forward again, swallowing him whole. 

Kix was gasping overhead, watching you have your way with him, satisfying your own craving even as he was the one who would surely benefit more. 

"Fuck… Magik! That feels …" his voice cracked in the middle of the sentence. "Stars… that's amazing! It feels… agh!" 

You ran your nails over his hips and thighs as you worked and he arched against you. Rolled his testicles between your fingers as you stroked the heavy sack, giggling at the stutter it put in his hips. You fumbled for the odds and ends you had deposited on the floor, dipping your fingers into a bit of oil You'd snatched from the clinic. 

Pulling away, you coaxed him to sit on the crates, leaned back and relaxed, and hooked a palm behind his knee, propping his leg high. 

He chuckled nervously. "Where is this going, Mag?"

"Trust me, doll. I think you'll like this." 

You sunk back down, taking him in your mouth again, your oily fingers smoothed behind his balls and crept back between the cheeks of his ass. He squirmed under your touch, his breaths occasionally turning into little whimpers as you swallowed him down, the sloppy noises of your spit soaked lips making an obscene symphony in the modest space. He trembled when your fingertips brushed against his entrance, the oil making the touch slick and soft as satin. You timed gentle strokes with the motion of your lips, listening closely to his pants and gasps for any hint that he wasn't enjoying himself. 

Seizing the moment,, you slipped a finger in to him up to the second knuckle. 

"Fucking!... Stars… ah!" He arched up his hands flying to clench the edges of the crate and you felt him tighten around you. 

You pull away from his cock, with a wet noise, gently caressing him. 

"Do you want me to stop, sugar?" 

"N.. n.. no!" He positively whined the word, giving himself over to you willingly.

You kissed his thigh and dove back on his member, fucking him sweetly with your mouth and your hand as he moaned and squirmed under your ministrations.

Maybe he thought he was the one in charge, but the beautiful man was your plaything for the moment and hearing him whimper and cry had your insides twisting, your own muscles clenching around emptiness in anticipation.

"Magik! Kriffing Maker Ad'ika … I need…" the words broke off in a sob as you slid your finger out of him.

"What do you need, Beautiful? Tell me.." You whisper, stroking his weeping cock with your free hand, watching his muscled abs gather so that he could thrust against your fist.

"I need to come… I'm close… please, please Ad'ika!"

You smile at the warmth his words bring, wanting more than anything else to see him fall apart from your touch. You drop your mouth over his head, drawing circles with your tongue as your hand pumps his length, the other dipping into your drinking cup and finding a tiny smooth bit of ice.

If he liked the cool on his cock… well..

You raised your head to watch as your fingers slipped to his ass and pressed the bit of ice inside him.

You heard the creak of the crates as his fingers clamped down, saw his pupils shrink to pinpoints and he exploded against your lips, body bowing into the air as a scream ripped from his chest. The climax rippled through him, setting the great muscles in his thighs quivering as ropes of hot spend splashed across your face and neck.

You'd expected it… just not so much!

Pleasantly pleased with yourself, you sat stroking his thighs as the sensations of release ricocheted around within him, making themselves known with little shudders and breathy gasps. 

It wasn't long before he relaxed and quieted, panting softly in the afterglow of his release and he raised his head, searching you with a dazed expression. 

"Hi there handsome. Welcome back."

"You…. Kriffing… what the hell are you?

He gasped out, looking half pleased and half afraid.

You shrugged.

"A discerning collector of orgasms. And yours, Sir, was superb."

He rolled from the crate with a groan, gaining his feet slowly, before pulling you up with him. Sharing in childish giggles, he apologized as he helped to clean your face, before pulling you down to the sleeping palette with a grin.

"Two can play at this game, Ad'ika."

[kirajw]

‘911′ 4.14 Survivors Review

I needed time to process everything.  Overall, I genuinely loved the finale.  I was surprised by the appearance for Miss Nia, the cutest member of the 118 (tied with Jee Yun, of course). 

Buck’s Trauma

The first five minutes of Eddie’s rescue were some of the most intense and realistic in the show’s history.  Buck’s screaming voice sounds like an angry teddy bear.  I hated how Buck had to pull Eddie under the truck by his injured arm and his screaming.  It was a beautiful mirror of 2.18 when Buck was pinned under the truck.

I’ve seen some people comment how Eddie getting shot was all about Buck.  And it was.  At this point, Eddie’s was lost in a haze of pain and unconsciousness and surgery.  And I think the trauma will sink in later, when he’s at home recovering and more clearheaded.  

Buck shaking after the call, being solely focused on Christopher, and being vulnerable with him was so real and heartbreaking and I appreciated them taking the time to show that.  I do wish Buck or SOMEONE would have railed against gun culture and mass shootings.  They had to coordinate with SWAT just to transport people to the hospital.  It’s pure insanity that we’re essentially held hostage but people with assault rifles.  

Buck also showed that he’d be a great guardian for Christopher.  He kept his schedule the same.  He was honest with him about how Eddie was doing but shielded him from the scary details.  He gave him the space to be upset.  It was a nice throwback to 2.04 seeing Buck and Chris eating cereal before school.  Chris was worried about his dad, but he was joking with Buck too, meaning he felt safe and cared for and knew that Eddie was too.  

“You went Full Buck.”  THAT’S NOT A BAD THING, BOBBY! 

Here’s the thing: Buck is not reckless.  He’s fearless.  He does what’s right no matter the cost or who tells him not to.  Recklessness implies that he doesn’t think things through, but he definitely does.  When he was saving the man trapped on the crane, he didn’t just fly into action, he took the medical bag with him.  He had a treatment plan in mind, and he probably realized that the sniper would have difficulties getting that high that fast in an area filled with secure apartment buildings and office buildings with metal detectors. Him going “FULL BUCK” is a good thing, not a bad thing.  He saved that guy’s arm and life.

Buck and Taylor 

I was fine with Buck and Taylor being friends.  Buck needs non-118 friends.  I wasn’t surprised that she kissed him.  I just wish we saw her being afraid of commitment or falling for someone whose job is as dangerous as Buck’s or shorting out her own issues instead of just making their wild comments/actions and leaving him.   

Buck and Eddie

I don’t need Buck and Eddie to be canon, and I’ve accepted that FOX won’t ever let them be.  I love their brotherhood and how they’ve become family.  I imagine that happens a lot with first-responders.  

Ryan Guzman’s racist nonsense made me want him as far away from Oliver, Aisha and Athena as possible anyway. 

I do love that even from his morphine-induced haze Eddie looked so bothered and PAINED by Buck admitting it would have been better if he’d gotten shot instead.  He’s been unmoored and alone this season, and finding out about Daniel only confirmed that his parents never wanted him, just what he could do.  They even went so far as to show him putting on his bulletproof vest ALONE.  And as a pathologically single person, I totally get how he feels.  Society is built around families.  Single people simply “don’t fit.”  And I’m glad Eddie gave Buck a reason to stop taking such wild risks.  Calculated or not.  “Because EVAN.”  So cute.

Miscellaneous

Athena can’t detain or arrest Buck for the next two rockheaded moves he makes because she went into a burning building to shoot a sniper and save her husband’s life.  And he helped her.

Poor Maddie.  She and Buck deserve some peace and happiness.  I hate that we didn’t get to see them together.  I’m glad she’s getting help, and I hope she gets to a happy place where she can just enjoy her daughter and her family.  I do wish they actually said “Post-partum” or “Post-Natal” Depression in this episode.

Albert becoming a firefighter...meh.  I loved the montage at the end with all the families at the end and Albert’s victory.  I saw it coming when he arrived.  I hope that doesn’t mean he’ll be working at the 118 solely because they separately need more female firefighters.  NOT BOSKO.

[ladykissingfish]

Bedtime with the Akatsuki (Part 2/2)

Kisame A lot of Kisame’s nightime activity is centered around taking care of his legendary sword Samehada. The blade is, after all, a sentient creature, and therefore needs to be treated with the proper respect. He re-wraps it, speaks to it, tells it his plans for the upcoming day. He also brings it with him to the dinner table (which makes the others horribly uneasy) because Samehada enjoys being around all the different types of Chakra, much the way Kisame enjoys being around the different personalities. One time Hidan made Kisame angry, and Samehada reacted by darting from Kisame’s side and leaping in front of Hidan, sucking his chakra right out of him. He drained so much that Hidan’s vitals all shut down, and the others actually believed he’d died ((Kakuzu actually cried tears of joy)); but the idiot just ended up internally regenerating a few hours later, much to everyone’s chagrin, Kisame isn’t really a nighttime sleeper in the way that the others are; he’ll take short naps throughout the entire day, but that’s really it. When not sleeping he’ll go for long walks, or, if the water is clear, a dip in the stream. He might also spend some time talking with his young sleepless partner Itachi, or having tea with him after the others have gone to bed. Zetsu Zetsu will rarely join the others for dinner, because the sort of food being served really isn’t to his tastes. Very very rarely he can convince Konan to give him a hunk of raw meat ((although this runs up against interference from Kakuzu, as the old guy doesn’t like “throwing money down the drain for the tree to eat bloody chicken”)). Doesn’t stay home at night; evenings are an ideal time for him to go scouting. He travels through the earth at enviable speed, sometimes spying on nearby village operations, sometimes doing a pre-run for an Akatsuki team’s upcoming mission. Zetsu doesn’t sleep too often, but when he does, he prefers to do so outdoors. His color and foliage help him blend seamlessly into all the other plants, so he’s never detected unless he opens his eyes. Also likes to take infrequent evening “baths” by immersing himself in a pond or stream (although he as to be careful not to overdo it; too much water can really mess up his insides). Tobi/Obito Eating around the others had always been a difficulty for Tobi, because doing so requires that he move the mask. For the longest time he’d simply tell the others that he wasn’t hungry, and then go and sneak leftovers to take to his room later ... but, very surprisingly, Deidara was the one who stopped this. On his own, he had a meeting with the others about what he guessed was Tobi’s dilemma, and then sat him down and explained, in his own gruff way, that “We all don’t give a damn what you look like under there, hm. Nobody is going to be staring at you, so just sit with us and eat, dumbass.” And true to Deidara’s word, nobody tries to look at him while at the table. Tobi has found a way to move his mask about a quarter of the way off his face, so only his mouth is exposed, but still; everybody remains respectful of his desire not to be looked at, even Hidan. After eating, though, the maturity of the situation is dropped and Tobi becomes Tobi again, pestering the others, running around the halls; either Deidara or Sasori remind him to take a bath for the night, which he outwardly balks at ... but inner-Obito loves. The water couldn’t ever be hot enough, and Obito likes to “borrow” bubble bath from Konan whenever he can, letting the luxuriant smells take his mind away from his troubles for a bit. Bedtime always starts off okay; Obito is tired from putting on Tobi all day ... but actual sleeping is difficult. Obito is plagued with gruesome nightmares about death and loss, and largely left alone to deal with them. He’s tried to go to Deidara’s room ((for some reason the blonde’s constant angriness is something Obito finds soothing)) but Deidara locks his door. Sometimes Obito will force himself back to sleep but often he’ll wander outside, away from the base, to walk along the forest and stare at the moon. He’ll

always return before dawn, just as bright and energetic as everyone expects him to be.

Konan Konan spends a good deal of the early evening cooking. At first she didn’t really agree with Pein’s One Meal Mandate, but after a few times she starts to see the value in it. Cooking for her is a way to relax, and shrug off some of the tensions from the day. And everybody is really appreciative of her culinary efforts; there’s never a single pan or plate that comes back with food on it. She doesn’t really talk much herself at the table; she prefers to listen to the others. It’s interesting, the personalities that emerge when the topic isn’t war or death or fighting. After dinner, after dishes and cleaning (which the sweetheart Itachi always helps her with, whether she asks him to or not), Konan goes into her room for Konan-time. Her favorite thing to do is write in her journal; when she was a young girl and the man known as Jiraiya came into her and Nagato and Yahiko’s lives, he was always working on a manuscript for a book that he said he’d call Make-Out Paradise. When he left, he left behind the drafts of this work in progress, and ever since then, Konan has been scribbling out alternate endings and continued scenes to the (admittedly scandalous and definitely perverted) collection of tales. An embarrassing hobby, maybe; but one she enjoys. After writing, she’ll carefully apply an overnight face mask and go to bed, closing her eyes and laying flat on her back. She’s a fairly heavy sleeper, and her internal clock faithfully wakes her up every morning at the crack of dawn. Well, either that or an early-morning shouting match between some of the more rambunctious Akatsuki members. Hidan Anyone looking at this guy would think he has a normal nighttime routine. He’ll come back from a mission, he’ll wash up, he’ll eat a pleasant meal with “the family” — and then the scariness comes out. Hidan will pack up his scythe and his jashin bible and head out from the house, in search of converts (or sacrifices) to his wonderful religion. Most of the people he finds are rogue ninja, or travelers making camp for the night in the woods. Man, woman, young, old — nobody escapes the wrath that Lord Jashin reserves for blasphemous disbelievers. A good night will yield Hidan 2 or 3 sacrifices; a GREAT night, a dozen or more. It used to be that he’d drag his victims back home for the rituals, but the other members complained to Pein that the noise and the screaming made it difficult to sleep, so Hidan is forced to carry on his activities away from the base. When he returns, the immortal is satisfied but utterly exhausted. Without bothering to clean himself up, he’ll drag himself to his room and throw himself down on his bed, often falling asleep face-first in his covers. The others will complain about the mess he leaves in his wake ... but that’s what Zetsu is for. Hidan has a deal with the plant-man that he’ll leave him some good “juicy” parts of his victims intact, as well as tell Zetsu where to find them, and Zetsu cleans up the bloody wreckage from the hall and (in the morning) the bathroom. Actually more of a win-win for Zetsu alone, but it works for Hidan. Kakuzu For this guy, bed time is budget time. He’ll sit at the dining table as Konan brings out dish after dish, and stay there long after the last plate has been cleared away. So focused on crunching his numbers that he’ll have to be reminded to actually eat. Kakuzu is the Akatsuki’s treasurer, which means it’s up to him to ensure that every member on the team is financially prepared to face their upcoming missions. Pein will give him a list of who’s going where the next day, and what possible expense they may run into ((the Akatsuki isn’t exactly a paying job, but Pein ensures that the members always have a reasonable amount of money on hand, to sustain them/keep them fed during their journeys)). Kakuzu takes what money is in the treasury and doles it out accordingly. When he’s done with that, he goes to his own room and counts out his OWN money. Kakuzu takes on capturing many bounties

in his spare-time, and the majority of his gains are kept solely to himself. He feels he has to do a count every night because he doesn’t necessarily trust those around him ((especially Hidan)) to not “borrow” from him when he’s not around. Evenings are also when “Dr. Kakuzu” receives patients; sometimes Deidara will come to him and ask him to tighten the stitching on his arms(which he carelessly loosened with his damn excessive bombing), sometimes Hidan will need bits and pieces sewn back on after one of his sacrifices goes south. One time Itachi came to him and requested stitching from a gash he’d received down his rib cage ... by far one of the worst injuries Kakuzu had been asked to treat, but the kid didn’t even so much as flinch. When the money and the medical appointments are finally finished, Kakuzu will get into bed with a magazine (the guy has a hidden love for architect and interior design) and usually end up falling asleep before he’s gotten past the first few pages.

[angeltrapz]

hey dude 💚 sorry yr having a shit night too— chainshipping ask tho! I’m always down to head more thoughts abt just. things they do to make th other person smile. but also favorite things to do together? not necessarily Big Activities but the lil domestic stuff (like cooking, maybe chores they do together, etc) that’s just better bc they’re Both doing it

Yeah it was a. rough one kdjks... ty <33

I'm always game to talk abt things they do to make the other smile!! One I think about all the time is the simple act of getting things for each other? Maybe sometimes before they even realize they want said thing, or that they need said thing. As you've mentioned b4 I do think Adam has one of those lavender-scented stuffed animals that you can put in the microwave (I have!! the celebration bear one, who naturally is named Lawrence bc he's blue... and uh... I associate teddy bears. w him) and sometimes, when Adam is doing poorly and has gone nonverbal, Lawrence will just be like "Oh! I know what might help!” so he’ll grab the husky from the bedroom (got Rlly attached to that idea when you mentioned it <33) and pop it in the microwave for a minute, rounding back to the couch to hand Adam one of his shirts to snuggle in and a kiss on the forehead. When he gets Adam’s husky from the microwave and hands it to him, Adam just kinda has a moment like oh... I didn’t even have to ask... and he smiles, for the first time that day, and honestly? It rlly does help, to have someone who knows what might comfort you/knows what types of things do, and who just. Does those things when you need them, sometimes without prompt. It’s an intimate kind of knowledge, and it makes Adam feel all warm on the inside.

Another good example of this is Adam making sure Lawrence has his cane while he's walking around the apartment, esp those first few months when he's just getting used to using it - because he's still learning + trying to get used to walking with his (properly fitted) prosthetic, he often left the cane in random places because Adam would often offer his arm if Lawrence needed it (which, again, took some time for him to be okay with, but Adam always tells him it's okay to need help sometimes), and it would frustrate him because he'd be sitting on the couch like "I. I don't know where I put it." but Adam will be like "It's okay, I know where it is!" and it's as simple as that! Lawrence can't help but smile when Adam hands it to him because Adam just. He gets how hard it is. It's so simple to Adam but to Lawrence it means a whole lot. <3

Something else is that Lawrence will remind him to eat. I've touched on this a little bit b4, but Adam has issues with food that extend past textures and tastes and such - his eating is very disordered, and has been since childhood. He doesn't eat three meals a day, sometimes he hardly eats anything at all (usually the bare minimum that will allow him to take his medications without getting sick), he tends to gravitate towards snacks/easy foods that aren't necessarily super healthy, and combined with him already being underweight + having spent the last seven or eight years since leaving his parents' place at 18 getting by on very little, it causes him frequent dizzy spells/fainting episodes. It also takes him a while to realize that hey, I don't have to spread my meals out anymore, I don't have to worry about getting food, and I don't have to feel guilty about eating when I'm hungry. I think Lawrence is a very observant person by nature, and while he might not understand it fully right away, I think he'd definitely realize that some of these issues are tied to the state of the apartment he'd seen only once + Adam's life from before.

So he doesn't force him to eat, obviously, because that doesn't work and helps no one, but he will definitely be like "Hey, I know you're not feeling great today, but why don't I grab you a granola bar or something? We have those oranges you like too. I just want to make sure you don't give yourself a headache or get sick." and admittedly Adam is. Not used to that kind of regard whatsoever. But it feels so much easier to at least eat something small when he knows Lawrence sees him, understands that it's hard and isn't forcing anything out of him. I do think that once they settle into a routine after moving in together, some of that becomes a little bit easier because hey, he's not living paycheck to paycheck, he doesn't have to survive off of ramen and monster energy, he's allowed to eat and not worry about what happens after. The stress of worrying about groceries is definitely nonexistent with Lawrence, and that takes so much weight off of Adam's shoulders; not to embtion the fact that Lawrence is also conscious about his same foods, and makes sure they've always got some in the kitchen. It's not easy, but having someone care about him so much, someone who wants to make sure he's eating right and caring about him like that always makes Adam smile a little bit.

For Lawrence, I think a big thing is just like... seeing Adam hanging out with Diana? There's nothing that will put a smile on his face faster than coming home from work to find the two of them in the living room, a Disney movie (or The Princess Bride!) playing in the background while Diana paints Adam's nails bright glittery blue and pink, because she wanted to practice patterns and she really likes the glitter. Her nails are already painted black with a glitter coat on top - "Adam's nails always look so pretty like that, and he said maybe I couldn't do full black, so he put glitter on them too!" - and he's sitting there, hand spread out on the coffee table while they both sit on the floor, talking about anything and everything that pops into Diana's head, and Lawrence just kind of stands there and watches for a little while. His two favourite people, relaxing together, enjoying each other's company. Adam turns around and Lawrence has always got this huge grin on his face, just like, "Oh, don't mind me. What was it you were talking about, Diana?" which of course prompts her to jump up to give him a huge hug, but after that she's right back to painting Adam's nails, and Lawrence is more than content to just sit in and listen. (He also absolutely adores finding Adam reading to her before bed, because he does voices and everything. He gets a little bit embarrassed about it at first, but once he sees Lawrence watching them with the most loving look he thinks he's ever seen, he just blushes, smiles back, and continues. Sometimes Lawrence joins in, but not always, because then it becomes a competition of voices and they'll never get Diana to bed if she's laughing too hard!!)

Another is that Adam is really good at pulling him out of his own head. He can usually tell when Lawrence is thinking way too hard about something, or when he's beating himself up for some perceived slight he feels he's somehow performed, or when something is bothering him and he's debating whether or not to bring it up for fear of bothering Adam. Often times he'll just sit beside him wherever he is, or lead him somewhere to sit down if they're standing, and he'll just guide Lawrence's head to rest on his chest and he'll just talk softly, making sure Lawrence isn't sitting in silence, knowing that Lawrence doesn't typically feel up to talking himself right away. He'll run his fingers through his hair and tell him about his day, or something he saw while scrolling through his phone/on TV, sometimes he'll read to him, basically just letting him know that hey, I'm right here, I know you're not doing great right now, and that's okay. I'm here for you. Lawrence cries sometimes when Adam does this, the relief of being held + feeling safe enough to express his emotions making it easier, but he smiles by the end of it because he knows how much Adam loves him + wants to make sure he's okay, and he knows that Adam isn't going to judge him. It's the safety of it all. <3

Favourite things to do together!!! Like you mentioned I like to think they do chores together! It’s just more fun that way. Again as you’ve mentioned b4, I think Adam has some difficulty with the dishes despite liking the repetitiveness of the task, both because of textures and because of his shaky hands - so what they do is Lawrence will wash the plates themselves and then hand them off to Adam, who will dry them and put them away/the strainer! They both find it helps a lot to just be around each other like this, listening to the radio above the stove and bumping hips, tapping their feet, sometimes humming along if they know the song well enough. It’s just a nice little routine. (Sometimes they dance in the kitchen after, and sometimes to the goofiest pop songs Adam has ever heard, but if you heard that, no you didn't.)

They like folding laundry together, too! That one is just because it's fun. Lawrence will toss him one or two of his shirts while they're warm because he knows Adam likes the feeling + stealing Lawrence's clothes, and every now and then Adam will throw a washcloth at him just 'cause he thinks it's funny (it is, especially bc Lawrence's gut response is to throw it back?? so they look like two dorks bc they're just throwing it back and forth???), and it's just a nice way to share space. Sometimes they get a bit too caught up in whatever is on TV (its on bc they both need background noise) and end up just sitting against the couch, two baskets of laundry on either side of them, and then eventually Adam will be like "Okay babe I think we should probably finish folding clothes now," and Lawrence will just groan like "I forgot that's what we were doing. Damn it." and they take a moment to laugh before they finish up. (Adam Loves hearing Lawrence swear bc he doesn't do it often, so even smth as simple as "damn it" cracks him up for a good minute lmao!!)

I do think they also enjoy cooking together!! Adam will hand him ingredients/assist in cutting vegetables/what have you; I think, for the most part, that Lawrence does the majority of the cooking, but Adam does help where he can! Sometimes he'll just hop up onto the counter and hand Lawrence things as he needs them, and Lawrence thanks him with either a squeeze to his hand or a kiss on the cheek, and Adam will joke about how he's basically just sitting there looking pretty, but he learns very quickly that Lawrence will just be like "Well, you DO look very pretty, so I think that's fine," and it ends with Adam red in the face but smiling into his hands anyway. The payoff is always a nice meal that they can sit down to together, and it's just such a peaceful, enjoyable thing for them to do together!!

Other than those three they'll take turns doing chores for each other - sweeping, dusting, tidying up the bathroom, things like that just to help each other out <3

[hotchscotchh]

Reimained; Chapter 7 - Chad Brown

Hey y’all! I’m sorry this took so long to get out, I needed a little break from being so serious. This chapter is much less serious than previous ones. Anyway, I posted two other oneshots in the meantime, one hotchreid and one moreid. They’re posted in my masterlist which you can find in my pinned post! I hope you enjoy this chapter <3

Summary: Aaron and Spencer are surprisingly close in the aftermath of the anthrax case and some of the team begins to suspect their recently found friendship might be something more.

Pairing: Aaron Hotchner x Spencer Reid

Warnings: Mentions of poison, hospital setting

Word count: 2k

Read on AO3

Chapter 6 --- Chapter 8

Based on 4x24 Amplification

The team had been sitting with Reid in shifts, unwilling to let him wake up alone in a hospital room, but still needing to get back to the local precinct and get their paperwork wrapped up. Morgan ended up being the lucky one that got to see him wake up for the first time. Morgan couldn’t help the intense wave of relief that washed over him at the sight of Spencer Reid’s eyes opening. He also couldn’t help the laugh he let out when the kid’s first barely understandable words were to ask for Jell-o. After their small interaction, Spencer asked Moran to call Hotch, saying he knew Hotch would want to know as soon as he woke up. Morgan was surprised by that; Spencer had never said anything like that when waking up in the hospital before. Obviously, their supervisor needed to know that he was awake, but Derek couldn’t help but be surprised that Spencer asked for it.

Morgan was even more surprised when Hotch turned up way faster than he should’ve. He wondered how many traffic laws the man had to have broken to get there that fast. Hotch ordered Morgan back to the police station, saying he would take the rest of Morgan’s shift and the next, which was already his. Morgan tried to fight him on this but was immediately silenced by the Hotchner Glare™. He was confused by the interaction the entire way back to the police station but placed it in the back of his mind to think about later. They needed to get the paperwork done so they could all be with Spencer.

Meanwhile, at the hospital, Hotch was holding Reid’s hand and very close to tears.

“Baby, I’m so sorry. I can’t believe I let this hap-”

“Aaron, please don’t take this the wrong way, but shut the hell up. This was in no way your fault. I knew there was a possibility of something being in that room and I went anyway. You weren’t even there.” Reid finished his rant by bringing Aaron’s hand up to his mouth and giving it a small kiss. “I’m fine. For the most part. But I do need water, my throat is really scratchy.”

“Of course, Spence, anything,” Aaron said, standing up and rushing out of the room to find water.  

While he was gone, Spencer pressed the call nurse button on his bedside remote. He figured they should probably know he was awake, and he needed to know if he had been given narcotics. He knew the antidote had been administered soon enough to have prevented cuts in his skin and it was unlikely that he had been given pain medicine at all, but he needed to know. He didn’t feel high, so that was a good sign, but it didn’t really mean anything at the moment.

The nurse came into the room at the same time that Aaron returned with his water.

“Hi Spencer, I’m glad to see you awake. My name is Maria, I’m one of the nurses on duty for the next few hours. If you need anything, just press your call button and myself or one of my colleagues will be back to assist you as soon as possible. Dr. Kimura will be back to see you as soon as she can. How are you feeling?” the nurse asked.

“Fine, my throat is scratchy but that’s to be expected after being unconscious. Aaron already got some water for me. I know it’s unlikely that I was administered any pain medication, but I need confirmation that I was not given any narcotics,” Spencer replied, slightly winded as he had said it all in one breath, wanting to get the question out as quickly as possible.

“Of course, sir,” the nurse said with a smile. “Let me check your chart.” After a brief, but tense, pause, the nurse turned back to him and said, “As far as I can tell, you weren’t given any medication other than the antidote for the poison you ingested, but Dr. Kimura will confirm that when she comes to see you. Now, is there anything else that I can do for you? A dinner tray will be sent up in about half an hour.”

“I just have one question,” Spencer said, the tension draining from the air. “Can I shower?”

That made both Maria and Aaron laugh. Spencer had almost forgotten the man was standing there and jumped at the sound of his voice. “Absolutely, but you’ll need help. Let me just get this I.V. out. You’ve been given a liter of fluid, but as long as you keep drinking you should be okay without it.”

Spencer nodded, even more relieved now. “Good thing you’re here instead of Morgan, Aaron. Let’s do this now, I’m sure the team will be here soon.”

Maria smiled again, looking between the pair, and left the room. Aaron helped Spencer drink some water before assisting him out of the bed. Spencer was glad the nurse had warned him he’d need help. His knees buckled under his weight, but since they had been warned, Aaron was there to hold him up. “I don’t think I can walk there, Aaron. My legs are too shaky.”

“Of course, Spence,” Aaron said, snaking an arm under Spencer’s and bending down to hook the other around the bend in Spencer’s knees. He straightened up with the man in his arms and Spencer wrapped his own around Aaron’s neck, burying his face there too.

“Do you have any idea how disappointing it was to see Morgan sitting there instead of you when I woke up?” Spencer said, teasingly, his voice muffled by Aaron’s shoulder.

Aaron chuckled. “I’m sorry, hon, but the team insisted on taking shifts waiting for you to wake up. It would’ve been suspicious if I pushed staying. I think Dave is starting to suspect something anyway.”

“Of course he is,” Spencer answered with a weak laugh.

Aaron gently set him on his feet in front of the sink in the bathroom. He opened the curtain and found some travel sized shampoo, conditioner, and body wash, and a chair sat in the middle. “Do you want to sit in the chair or would you rather I helped you stand?”

“Do you mind heling me stand? I’ll be able to wash my hair better that way,” Spencer replied, almost shyly.

“Do you think I would have offered if I didn’t want to, Spence,” Aaron shot back, humor in his voice.

Spencer ducked his head and made quick work of undoing the ties on his hospital gown, letting it fall to the floor and finding he had nothing on underneath, while Aaron turned the water on and adjusted the temperature. He reached out to grab Aaron’s arm and let himself be guided into the shower. He had a little difficulty getting over the lip on the edge, but they figured it out without incident. Aaron closed the curtain most of the way and turned around, leaving his arm available for Spencer to grab, in an effort to give the man some semblance of privacy.

It took Spencer longer than normal to clean himself, given his lethargic state, but when Aaron heard the water tun off he opened the curtain again and unfolded a towel to hold out for him. Spencer dried himself off and Aaron guided him to sit down on the toilet. Aaron went back to the main part of the hospital room to get some clothes for Spencer so he wouldn’t have to put the hospital gown back on, only to find Dr. Kimura waiting for him there.

“Hello, Agent Hotchner, I have a fresh gown here for Spencer. I’d love to let him put his regular clothes on, but we need to do one more x-ray of his lungs to make sure the antidote worked fully,” the woman said. She gestured to the wheelchair next to her that had a gown sitting in it. “I thought this might make it a little easier. Maria tells me he is very weak.”

“He is, thank you,” Aaron responded. “I’ll get him dressed. It’ll only be a few minutes.” Dr. Kimura nodded and turned back to what she was working on. Aaron took hold of the wheelchair and maneuvered it into the bathroom, only to find Spencer half asleep on the toilet. “Spence,” he whispered, hoping to startle the man as little as possible.

Spencer jumped. “Aaron! You scared me. What’s that for?”

“Dr. Kimura brought it for you. I was going to get regular clothes for you, but they need to do one more x-ray of your lungs.”

Spencer nodded and reached for the gown. Aaron handed it over and had settled leaning against the sink when his phone chimed. He took it out and quickly read over the text that had come from JJ. “The rest of the team is going to be here in about fifteen minutes. They just finished.”

Spencer just nodded again. He looked thoroughly exhausted. “Let’s get you in this wheelchair and out to the x-ray so you can get back here and rest.”

----

Half an hour later, the team and Spencer’s dinner tray had arrived (Aaron had requested extra Jell-o, obviously) and they were just waiting on Spencer to come back from his x-ray. The door opened and conversation stopped. Dr. Kimura wheeled Spencer in and the man looked like he was about to fall asleep. He looked up at the team and gave a small smile. “Hey, guys.”

JJ stepped up first, leaning down to give him a brief hug. “Hey, Spence, I’m so glad you’re okay.”  There was a chorus of agreement following that statement.

“Let’s get you into bed and fed so you can get some sleep, Reid,” Hotch said, slipping back into his unit chief persona. Spencer looked at him for a few moments, confused by the use of his last name, before remembering why and nodding.

Morgan immediately moved to help him, and Hotch let him. Once Spencer was seated and comfortable, his dinner tray was brought over, and Dr. Kimura started speaking. “Okay, Dr. Reid. Your x-ray looked great. You can expect shortness of breath for a week or two, but I’m not noticing any lasting affects of aphasia or any other cognitive abilities. I can also confirm that you were not given any narcotics.”

Reid nodded and mumbled a “thank you” around a mouthful of food. Dr. Kimura gave a smile and a wave and backed out of the room.

Emily spoke up once she had left. “Well, I think it would be best if we all headed back to the hotel and let our strong doctor here get some sleep. Did you want someone to stay with you, Spencer?”

Spencer looked up and yawned before turning to Hotch and nodding his way. “Please?”

“Of course, Reid. You guys go ahead back to the hotel. We’ll be okay here.”

In the past weeks, they team had noticed the pair getting closer. They had assumed it was just as friends, but after that request if had a few of them (Morgan, Rossi, and Prentiss) wondering if it wasn’t more. Usually, Reid would’ve asked for Morgan or JJ to stay with him, they never expected him to ask for Hotch.

But they went with it, leaving the two in the hotel room to get at least a sorry excuse for rest.

As soon as Aaron finished ushering the team out of the room, Spencer reached for him and quietly requested “lay with me?” Aaron nodded and made his way over to lay next to Spencer, pulling the man close to his chest. Sleep took over both of them easily that night.

Taglist: @wheelsup​ @endingsbeginnings​

[goldencatuae]

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[howtowhumpyourhiccup]

Whumptober Day 6: Just Pull It Out

Summary: Written for Whumptober Day 6. Pre-Httyd 2. Astrid has a little accident that ends in a trip to Gothi's. Hiccup has to help her treat his betrothed injury.

Rating: Teen and up/Mature

Characters: Astrid, Hiccup, Gothi

Pairing: Hiccstrid

Words: 1 848

Fandom: How to Train Your Dragon

Prompt: "Stop, please”

Whumpee: Astrid

Author’s Notes: Did a little Hiccstrid, because why not.

Constructive criticism is appreciated!

Enjoy!

Ao3

---------------------------------------------------------------------------

"Ah, FUCK!" The swear Hiccup doesn't quite appreciate, but when he sees the reason why Astrid bellowed a shout loud enough to even scare the Terrible Terrors out of the treetops, he understands.

"Oh Gods, that doesn't look good." He states what she considers the obvious as he kneels next to her, having jumped out of the saddle the second he and Toothless had landed. Lying eyes on the injury now present on her person after the crash, he can't help but wince.

After crashing with Stormfly, there is now a branch sticking out of her thigh, the area surrounding it already an angry red. It's not bleeding, but that is because the branch is stopping the bleeding for now.

Astrid pushes herself up in a sitting position, gritting her teeth as she does so. Hiccup helps her. He would tell her to stay down until he's gotten a better look at it, but he knows her well enough to know she wouldn't listen to him.

Stormfly comes over and chirps apologetically at her Rider.

"It's okay, girl. Accidents happen." Astrid tells her dragon, petting her on the beak reassuringly.

"Okay, okay..." Hiccup mutters to himself as he tries to figure out what to do next.

He's not about to pull the branch out himself, lest the love of his life bleeds to death right here in the forests outside of Berk The best thing he can do now is stabilize it to the best of his ability, so it doesn't move on the way back to the village. Gothi needs to take a look at this one.

Astrid is patiently awaiting Hiccup's analysis of the situation, trusting his judgment on things medical as well. Ever since Dragon's Edge, Fishlegs has been their healer, but amongst the remaining Riders, Hiccup is second best.

She trembles because of the pain her thigh is in, but she keeps up her tough façade. She's a warrior and she's experienced injury before. No use crying over a minor accident such as this.

"Bud," Toothless comes when he's called, having been watching from the sidelines, and gives Hiccup access to their saddlebags.

"I'm gonna need to stabilize it," Hiccup tells her and takes out what he may need to get this done.

Grabbing dressings from the bag, he turns to the task at hand and gets to it. Once he's sure it's stable, they can go to Gothi to get this wound looked at and treated.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------

Flying to Gothi's wasn't the most pleasant of experiences, but Astrid didn't complain when Hiccup helped her mount Stormfly, as she was adamant in flying on her own dragon, and they took off towards the village.

Thankfully, it wasn't for very long, and soon enough, the two are in Gothi's shack, Astrid limping over to a stool with Hiccup supporting her on the way.

"Careful," A pained noise leaves her when Hiccup lowers her on her stool, telling her to mind her wound.

Sauntering over, staff tapping on the wooden floor, Gothi is at the perfect height to take a look at the affected area without needing to even lean down. Leaving her staff against the wall, she moves Astrid's thigh in a better position for her to see better and Astrid bites back a grunt.

She takes a good few moments, undoing Hiccup's work first, before coming to the conclusion that it actually looks quite good for an injury such as this.

Throwing two handfuls of sand on the floor, she tells the two as such.

"Oh, that's good to know," Hiccup says, sagging in relief.

"Okay, but how do we get it out?" Astrid asks. She would very much like to have that branch out of her body now.

"Eh, well..." Hiccup tells her, knowing what is to happen next. They all know it as, obviously, it needs to be removed somehow, but how to go about it is the question. Hiccup, having been Fishlegs' study buddy while the Ingerman studied under Gothi, knows a thing or two at least. This won't be pleasant.

Gothi writes in the sand what needs to happen next, how they're going to pull out the impaling object, see what the damage is now, and stitch accordingly. Astrid didn't look forward to step one, but she knows it needs to be done.

At Gothi's age, however, she doesn't quite have the strength to pull it out herself anymore. That leaves the perfect man for the job to be Hiccup as Astrid's pain response won't allow her to pull it out herself. It wouldn't be smart either, considering there are people around that can do it for her.

So with the hook of her staff, Gothi grabs Hiccup by the back of the neck to pull him down on a second stool.

"Ow, okay! Okay! I get it, I get it!" Taking a hint, Hiccup settles on it opposite to Astrid, his hands soon washed and clean of grime, his armbraces missing, and ready to pull a branch out of his future wife's thigh and hope they don't realize too late that a major blood vessel has been hit, causing her to bleed to death right after. Or about as ready as he can be.

Gothi gives him the all-clear and Astrid braces herself, holding onto her seat and her back leaning against a table standing behind her.

"You can do this. You're Fearless Astrid Hofferson, you can do this. This is nothing!" She says to herself, hyping herself up for what's to come. Hiccup waits for her, gaze meeting hers while his hands hover over the object.

After she feels like she has been sufficiently hyped up, Astrid wears her battle face and nods in determination.

Hiccup nods back, slightly less certain, and gently grabs hold of the shaft and her thigh. Just that already gets Astrid's leg to jerk in response, but her expression doesn't change, so Hiccup commits to pulling it out. There is a tiny, secondary branch annoyingly poking his palm as he does so.

The pain multiplies tenfold immediately and a hurt yelp leaves her, leg jerking further in response. Hiccup would tell her that it's going to be okay, but he's too focused on the task at hand to be able to.

He can't let her noises of pain deflate his resolve to help her. Out of the edges of his vision, he can see her trembling, can see her face change from one of determination to one of agony and he tries his best to ignore them in favor of doing a good job.

Not the easiest thing to do. That thing is really in there and he's afraid to use too much force and end up hurting her more.

Meanwhile, Astrid thought she could do it. She really thought she could take the burning agony, but it turns out to be too much, and her sense of dignity as a warrior has to step aside to let her want for it to stop through.

"STOP! Stop, please!" So she shouts and Hiccup immediately listens and lets go. Which he gets a smack on the head for from Gothi. She's all for patient comfort, but that branch could've been out of her already if he hadn't listened.

Hiccup gives her a non-apologetic look as he rubs the back of his head before looking back at Astrid.

"You okay?" He asks, to which she silently nods, breathing hard. She feels embarrassed for screaming like that.

"I'm fine, just... Just pull it out." She tells him, averting her gaze.

"Are you sure? We can wait a moment, let you take a breather." He suggests, but Astrid shakes her head stubbornly. The sooner it's out, the better, Gothi is right.

So he gets back to it and this time he wants to focus more on speed than care.

He still won't just rip it out of her, but he'll try to make it take less time than it did earlier.

And on the second try, it finally slides out of her with difficulty and a disgustingly meaty sound.

Dropping the considerably sized stick, Hiccup takes the cloth their healer hands to him and presses it against the wound. Blood is pouring out of it now and the cloth is quickly stained.

But the flow and the amount causes Gothi to believe that a simple couple of stitches will be enough. Another something Gothi makes Hiccup do. Either as punishment for his hesitation earlier or, perhaps, something else entirely.

Ah well, which Viking couple doesn't bond by stitching up each other's wounds?

If anything, Astrid is happy it's Hiccup treating her and not their healer. Gothi is great, but she isn't the most tender person around. At least with her own fiance, she knows she's in gentle hands.

Within the next hour, Astrid's wound is cleaned, sewn up, and dressed. All that remains is a healing broth with painkillers and she's all ready to go back home.

Hiccup helps her get there, acting as her support once more.

"And you're sure you're going to be okay?" He asks her as he helps her sit down on the step leading to the front door of her home.

"I'll be fine, Hiccup. You don't need to keep asking me that." She responds with fake irritation. The tired smile on her features speaks of how his concern for her warms her heart.

"Eh, I think I'll keep asking, just in case." Hiccup retorts, to which her smile widens.

"You want me to talk to your parents... or?" At this his mood changes slightly. The Hoffersons approve of their relationship and their engagement, but they make Hiccup nervous. Astrid blames her father's and her mother's tendency to be rough with him. In a "we love you and therefore you must endure our rough love" kind of way. Astrid definitely gets her way of showing affection from her parents.

"I'll talk with them. You take care of Stormfly because I don't think I can do that today." She offers to take the responsibility of telling her parents herself, so long as he cares for her Nadder in return, to which he agrees.

"Consider it done." Hiccup tells her and gets right to work, first removing his armor as it isn't really needed for this. Besides, it's getting late. He won't be doing much flying with Toothless anyway.

Astrid watches him take it all off and leave it with the Night Fury, who puts a foreleg on the pile so no mischievous Terrors will think to steal any of it while his Rider's back is turned to them. Toothless lies next to Astrid as she sits.

Though Astrid can be stubborn when it comes to her independence, it always feels nice to have Hiccup care for her. He does it in such a genuine way that she can't help but love.

The crutch Gothi has given her lands on the ground next to her as Astrid decides that her parents can wait. She's just going to take a moment to watch him work instead.

[eleanorbloom]

[OH] When You’re Ready (Bryce L. x f! MC x Ethan R.)

Disclaimer: I don’t own anything of the Open Heart World, it belongs to Pixelberry Studios. The name Eleanor Bloom and her story was created by me.

Pairing: Bryce Lahela x f! MC (Eleanor Bloom) x Ethan Ramsey. 

Word Count: 2.7k

Warning: Some angst, adult language, some adult situations. This is definitely a NS-FW fanfiction so anyone under 18 years old MUST NOT READ IT.

Summary: Bryce has decided to let go of Eleanor because she’s in love with Ethan Ramsey. But a turn in her relationship with the attending might change Bryce's plans.

_____________

Chapter 1: Why.

So many nights trying to find someone new

They don’t mean nothing compared to you

 He opened the door of his apartment, staggering. The celebration at Donahue’s had been wilder than he expected. Too many tequilas he couldn’t deny to Jackie. And too much anxiety to kill with alcohol.

Bryce sat on the sofa and sighed. He finally had a break to process what had happened today. Eleanor was safe. The Ethics Committee had decided to not suspend her, and Teresa Martínez’s family had withdrawn the lawsuit against Edenbrook, as they were grateful for what Eleanor did for their mother. In the end, all her effort and dedication had been rewarded.

He was happy about it, but more relieved that Eleanor wouldn’t leave. Bryce had been feeling increasingly afraid of that possibility, although he was trying to stay positive. The world wasn’t a fair place, the doctors didn’t have to understand the real reasons that led Eleanor to help Teresa Martínez. They would only see incompetence, malpractice, but never the honest desire that Mrs. Martínez enjoyed her last days traveling, just as she always dreamed since she was a child.

The very idea that things had been different caused him intense pain. Thinking of all the suffering that Eleanor could’ve to go through was almost unbearable. Also, the fact that she had to leave and he couldn’t see her anymore. But mainly it was her pain that affected him the most. She was one of the few people who deserve all the good in the world, for her kind heart, her dedication, her solidarity with her colleagues and patients. She didn’t deserve anything that was happening to her, but at least it was all was over now.

And now another thought came to his mind: Eleanor was with him right now. With Ethan Ramsey.

He wished with all his heart that whatever they had now would work for them, because she was truly interested in him, to his misfortune. But he respected her decision. From the day she told him that they couldn’t keep their casual hookups because she was feeling things for Ethan Ramsey, he respected her decision and wished her well. Every time Bryce saw her or saw them, he wished them all the best from the bottom of his heart, although they were apparently far from it.

Since Ramsey had left the hospital, he hadn’t reached out to her not a single time, not even to ask how she was or to support her in the difficult process she was living with the Ethics Committee. What asshole leaves Eleanor at a time like that, when she was supposed to be someone Ramsey cared about? When she heard from Eleanor that Ramsey had not contacted her, he felt uncontrollable anger but did his best to not say anything. Yes, he was suffering for his friend, Naveen Banerji, but Eleanor, with his life on the verge of collapse, still cared for Banerji and him, she hid the secret from her friends and colleagues, and then, when she found the cure for the old man, she used her time to cure him instead of preparing for the Ethics Hearing. But the Great Ethan Ramsey couldn’t give her a fucking hour just to support her because it was more important his suffering and sense of failure than what Eleanor was going through.

Eleanor had left him for a selfish, insufferable ass who was unable to use his position or his freedom and time to support her when she most needed it. Instead, Bryce had spent all the time he needed to recover from the poorly sleeping hours every surgical resident has since Medical School, acompannying and helping her to get the support of senior physicians from Edenbrook.  

Well, yes, in the end, Ramsey did use his contacts to help her. But of moral support? No signs.

And now she was with him. He saw her approaching Ramsey when he entered Donahue’s, and how quickly they left.

Bryce couldn’t judge her; it was her feelings after all. But he sensed that the following events wouldn’t be good news. There was the rumor that Ethan Ramsey would return to his old position at Edenbrook, so he would continue that stormy dynamics of setting limits with Eleanor because he was her boss, but still breaking those limits at the slightest pressure. And he would continue to have Eleanor in limbo, waiting for him to make up his mind and choose her despite his fears. Waiting for him to decide to give her everything she deserved without conditions or hesitation. All that love, attention, and affection that he wanted to give her, and that somehow were still there, waiting for his chance.

He sighed again.

“Everything happens in time, Bryce. Don’t rush it, ” he said to himself before making his way to his bedroom to catch some sleep.

The next day, the good news were announced. Harper Emery left her position as Chief of Medicine and would return to her scrubs as Head of Neurosurgery. Naveen Banerji would take her position, so Ethan Ramsey was officially Director of Diagnostics. The last big news was that Eleanor had won the junior fellow competition and would be spending her second year of residency as a junior member of the Diagnostic Department.

He was so happy for her because it was something she really deserved. All the sweat, blood, and tears that she had put into that competition had found its reward. Besides, she deserved it for her human qualities. However, he also knew that the news implied a turn in her relationship with Ramsey. Aside from being her boss, now they would be colleagues, they would work much closer, and if Ethan already intended to put boundaries between them, her position in the Team would put much more difficulty on that. Bryce didn’t want to take this news as a light at the end of the tunnel, an opportunity after so much confusion, but he couldn’t lie to himself. Deep down he wanted this to complicate things, but on the other hand, he didn’t want to see Eleanor suffering again. He wasn’t a selfish bastard to want something like that.

Bryce saw the exchange of awkward glances between Ethan and Eleanor, while Naveen Banerji gave them a knowing smile. It was clear that the old man knew what was going on between the two and didn’t seem to care at all. Probably Naveen would be in the front line encouraging Ethan to stop being such an idiot and accept his feelings for Eleanor. Hell, if he himself didn’t have feelings for Eleanor, he would be by Banerji’s side, with popcorn cheering Ramsey to finally make up his mind and stop making Eleanor suffer. But of course, that was not the case. He was hopelessly in love with her.

Ethan looked away, embarrassed, and quickened his pace to catch up with Naveen. Eleanor turned to him. Her smile was so bright that the sun would be jealous of the light, warmth and beauty that emanated from her, happiness and pride swelling her heart.

Bryce opened his arms, inviting her for a hug.

“C’mere!”

Eleanor cheerfully received the hug, rejoicing in the warmth she only found in Bryce’s arms. From the first hug many months ago, both hiding in a supply closet, Eleanor had been conscious of the healing powers of his hugs. At that time, he consoled her of her first breakdown on her first day at Edenbrook. And now, that embrace was simply showing the pride and happiness Bryce was feeling for her achievement. He, who had always trusted her, even more than herself. He, who had always shown her the way to self-confidence and fight for what she believed in.

“You did it, Elle. You really did it”

“Yes! I am still in shock. Yesterday, this time, my life was still threatened, and look at me now! I won the competition. Well, not technically because it was finished when Ethan left … But I was chosen by Naveen Banerji himself, my mentor’s mentor”

“Yes, and the guy whose life you saved. It was the least he could do”.

“Well, I think so,” She shrugged, “But I’d like to think that I made it for all my merits in the competition.”

“Of course, Elle. You deserved this spot more than anyone, apart from being an excellent doctor, you are an extraordinary human being. And that’s what makes you better than anyone.”

“Aww Bryce,”Eleanor hugged him again, touched, “You’re always so flattering. I hope someday I know my qualities just as well as you know them.”

“Well, just keep hanging out with me and this self-assurance will infect you. But be careful, our friends could stop tolerating you as they do with me sometimes because my ego is too big.”

“Oh, I think I could reach a healthy balance between knowing my worth and not overstepping the limits of self-centeredness”

“Oh, are you implying I’m out of it?”—Bryce raised an eyebrow, serious.

“No, but you are always very close to the verge. Since you haven’t surpassed it yet, that’s why I still consider you my friend”

“Oh, you honor me,” He feigned a modest bow.

“Well, I should get back to my patients before the attendings chew me out for wasting my time with a scalpel jockey.”

“Oh my gosh, Eleanor, how can you be so cruel to someone who treats you well and fills your soul with self-confidence? I think the position went to your head”

“Who are you again? ”She asked, looking at him from head to toe.

Bryce grinned, “I’m going to become Harper Emery’s favorite and I’ll be the one to ask you who you are. We all know that surgery is more popular than internal medicine.”

They both laughed.

“You are such a child, Lahela. Never change.”

Eleanor raised the palm of her hand.

“I won’t, "Bryce replied as they high fived. 

He saw her leaving to the Nurse's Station at a light pace.  He couldn’t suppress a smile. He was extremely happy to see her succeed on her first day back at Edenbrook. She deserved that and more.

As he supposed, things between Eleanor and Ethan didn’t go well. From what he could observe and the things he heard from Eleanor’s drunken babbling, Ethan was trying to set serious boundaries between them, but not strong enough to prevent them from ending up kissing in his office to kill the tension or suppress the pain of not being able to be together as much as they wanted, simply because Ethan didn’t want it that way.

As the weeks went by, the situation became increasingly annoying to Bryce. Although he had made up his mind to forget Eleanor, he still unconsciously wanted her to realize that he was everything she needed and deserved. And he felt stupid waiting for her because it was clear that Eleanor had no eyes for anyone but Ethan, even if he kept ignoring her.

His annoyance reached such a point that one day he made the decision to avoid any contact with Eleanor and her friends as much as he could. He began to spend time with his surgical mates in his interest to meet new people and lose himself in the sea of parties and girls with whom to spend the night.

That night, he went to Donahue’s with the interns knowing that Eleanor and her friends had a night shift, so he wouldn’t have to meet her. He took a seat next to Rosa and Charles.

“You had a fight with your nerdy medical friends, or what?” Rosa asked when she saw him take a seat.

“No, why?”

“Because you have been spending a suspicious amount of time with us lately, when you used to be with them all the time.”

“I needed a change,” he shrugged nonchalantly,“Now that the competition’s over, there’s not so much gossip around them.”

“Sure, ”Rosa replied, not convinced.

A few shots later, several surgical residents were gathered. Including a third-year resident Bryce had always found attractive because she had an air of Shania Twain, and she was the first musical crush he had ever had.

Apparently, the reputation of being Bryce Lahela was also well received by older residents, because after two hours of drinks, Bryce was there, crossing the door to his apartment with his arms wrapped around Caroline’s waist, the attractive surgical resident who aspired to specialize in plastic surfery.

The woman was incredibly neat and was dressed impeccably. She had an exquisite aroma and a look so inquisitive that it seemed like she was looking through his skin. Although, she was actually scrutinizing his skin.

“I can’t believe it’s real,” she said, touching his cheeks with her fingertips.

“Me? Of course I am.”

Caroline rolled her eyes up, “No, your skin. I was always struck by how smooth it looked, like you were a doll. And I think you are.”

“I think this level of observation is more intimidating than having to pose for an hour naked in front of the whole hospital”

“I bet you wouldn’t mind spending your life walking naked with that body you have.”

“And I won’t in a couple of moments either.”

Caroline cut the distance between their bodies with one swift movement, kissing him. They continued their journey to the room, where the clothes went down the floor and the four walls muffled the moans and exclamations that came from their bodies. And so came the culmination of that long-awaited search for pleasure on the skin of another woman, with the intention of erasing the marks of someone from the past, believing that it would help him end his agony.

“Crap, Lahela. I always try to have low expectations, but you have proven me wrong.”

“Prove you wrong?”

“I thought you weren’t the wonder that people said, but you are.”

But no. Instead of ending with the ego energized by ending up banging with the woman he intended to, and even more flattered for his performance; Bryce ended with an existential void that decomposed him the entire night.

“And you are as attractive as I imagined you would be, since my first week as a surgical intern.”

Caroline didn’t know it, but those were the hollowest words Bryce had ever said. Without true charm, candor, interest, or desire. And he said them just to not be rude with her. 

“Shut up, it sounds like you have a crush with your elementary school teacher, and we don’t have that much of an age difference”

Bryce simply gave her a humorless smile.

He woke up the next morning with the bed empty.

He sighed with relief. The truth was he had no intention of dealing with Caroline or faking a smile or joking about the night before, because he was in such a shitty mood, he hoped it would at least let him greeting the staff and patients before locking himself in his bad mood.

In his intention to try to be better about the situation with Eleanor, he was worse now.

Weeks later, he tried again, but with the same result. During the encounter, he couldn’t help but wish that she was the one in his arms, or that she was by his side after the act was over. Was it Caroline, or any other resident, or even a Tinder date, the result was the same. He still missed her, he still imagined her features and the beautiful expressions on her face when he had another woman in his bed.

Bryce finally understood that the lie of filling the void she had left with other women had only increased his pain, so he decided to not be with a woman again until he had begun to heal. And to do it, he had to learn to deal with Eleanor and her friends. He couldn’t use the technique that so much criticized Ethan Ramsey, so he stopped being so reluctant to the company of Eleanor and her roommates, and returned to spend time with them.  It wouldn’t be easy,  he was sure about that, but it had to be done.

_________

A/N:

Hello everyone!

So, here I am posting my first Choices Fanfic ever. I’ve been working on it for a while because I have the bad habit of publishing things and then don’t finish them.

This is a challenge for me because it’s written in English, which is not my mother language. I’m a Spanish speaker, so, I’ve been reading and polishing my vocabulary and looking for more informal expressions and slang to make this fanfiction less boring or formal. So I apologize in advance if my narration is weird, my grammatic is wrong or if I have misspelled words. I appreciate your patience and if you have any advice of how I can better my writing skills, it’s welcome!

I’m an old school fanfiction writer, which means my fanfic will be LARGE compared to most of the fanfics that are here. I really admire the people who write drabbles or one-shot fanfics without previous fanfics to referred or just with a prompt list! This will have at least 20 chapters (I’m still deciding if I merge some or not, so that’s why I don’t have an exact number) because it’s a slow burn story.

Oh, another thing. The title of the fic and all the chapters are song-inspired. The title’s fanfic and the plot are inspired by Shawn Mendes’s song. At the beginning of each chapter, you’ll find the lyrics that inspire the plot of each one.

Well, enough verbiage. Welcome to When You’re Ready. I hope you enjoyed it!

Let me know if you want me to add you to the tag list.

Eleanor.

____________

Chapter 2.