#or not because i still find some men attractive (platonically)

[sparklerzii]

jimmy is ugly.

i know some fans think people find him ugly only because of what he did to anya but that's not (just) the case for me.

before i found out what he did to anya, he already looked ugly to me. and even if he didn't do that, he still would. to ME, he's below average and that view will always stay the same.

[luludeluluramblings]

One thing I always wonder in Neglected! Reader scenarios that I haven’t seen anyone explore is Married/Single Mom! Reader. It’s drama and angst potential.

Like Reader having a boyfriend and getting pregnant while still living in the Wayne manor, and everyone just takes a little too long to figure out. Maybe they do find out early with the morning sickness and whatnot but the thought of Bruce looking at Reader like 6 months pregnant and being like “Wait a minute… 🤨” and Reader wasn’t even trying to hide it that much.

And same scenario except Reader moved out either while pregnant or got pregnant after, Batfam forgets all about them and when fate does bring them together (like the Bruce/Selina wedding concept) she is literally about to pop or has a whole baby with her. Cue Bruce (and later everyone else) losing his shit because omg??? 😧 that’s his first grandchild and he had no idea!!

… And then if the Reader is married in this scenario, makes it all the more complicated (she didn’t invite anyone to her wedding? what do you mean Alfred attended when we had no idea?). Everyone is straight up hostile towards her spouse (Damian, Bruce and Jason are insufferable) and safe to say he won’t be around for long. Single mom Reader though, the amount of emotional manipulation about kids needing a family and father figures and you should move back in so everyone can help with the baby… Yeah.

Platonic!Yandere!Batfam x SugarBaby!Reader x Older!Husband

☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️

A/N:OOOOO, I have something I was working on that I was having fun with that you might like!

A/N:Neglected!Reader with Older!Husband. (It's husband because it's based of that meme Your daughter calls me daddy, too. And, Reader is Female, because we're making a baby in here.)

☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️

You, sweet thing, do the typical thing and run off from home, once you turn the legal age. Checking in with Alfred on occasion, but just living your best life. Only, in typical fashion, all those years of neglect lead to severe daddy issues. And, a minor itty bitty attraction to older men.

You get lucky though because you manage to find a fine one that loves to spoil his baby girl with vacations and spa days. All the best for his baby. He loves taking you places and showing you a good time. So, it's no wonder he plans a Babymoon for you when you're expecting your first child. Anything for you.

Unfortunately, Daddy gets called into work right before the vacation. And, despite you insisting you stay, he makes you go and promises to join you as soon as possible.

(No, the man isn't cheating. He just gotta make the money for his baby.)

You have a good time, pregnant on the beach. Getting massages and spa treatments. Video calling your husband every time the baby kicks and flutters.

Unfortunetly, even though you haven't used the Wayne name since you've been married, some drug lords recognize you and decide to ransom you. Dragging you back to Gotham in your little sundress the just so hides your baby bump.

Gotham media runs with the story. Lost Wayne heiress held hostage. No one is ignoring that.

The bat's pull off a daring rescue, but you being stubborn, try to escape on your own. Fearing for your baby's life if they just happen to chose not to come. They never came when you were little, why would they come now.

You happen to injure yourself while escaping. But, manage to make it to an on scene ambulance while the Bats take care of the thugs. You happen to faint on the way to the hospital, leaving the doctor's discover you pregnancy.

Already the media is surrounding the hospital for the most drama filled story of the year. Thankfully, the paramedics have some compassion in hide the bump when rolling you into the ER.

With the media's attention, your husband flies into Gotham and makes it to the hospital just in time to ask the nurse where you are in front of Bruce.

Bruce, of course, bristles when a man his age burst in the hospital demanding to see you, but is using the wrong last name. The nurse saying only family can see you.

"That's my daughter," Bruce will say. Assuming this man is trying to claim you as his. But, he already did.

Making Bruce, the family, the nurses, the patients, and the reporter who managed to sneak in freeze when he says, "That's my wife."

Imagine the doctor that just finished checking on you and your baby walking in right after announcing that you were both okay. The look on Bruce's face when he realizes that this man, his age, not only married you, but had the audacity to put a baby in you.

Even better, the smug way your husband looks at Bruce when he brushes past him to follow the nurse to your room because husband beats father and you demanded to see him.

The drama that follows is going to be legendary.

☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️

A/N: I had this idea jotted down and fluffed it up just for this. I'm not sure you wanna know who I had in mind for Reader's husband. (Dude is from another franchise.) But, the thought of him interacting with Bruce as the guy who married Bruce's daughter and knocked her up, delights me in such a visceral way.

[musicalmoritz]

It’s canon Mitsuba’s gay?

I’m gonna use this as an excuse to yap because Mitsuba’s queercoding is either weirdly downplayed by fans or used solely for BL shipping purposes so I want to talk about it through the lens of what it means for his character, role in the story, and relationship with Kou

Yes, Mitsuba is canonically gay

Things don’t have to be explicitly stated in order to be canon, subtext is a major part of media analysis. This is something a lot of fans miss which leads to a misunderstanding of the source material. I do have some credentials for this, I’ve taken two undergrad college literature classes in which the subject of queercoding did come up multiple times. Meaning analyzing queercoding has literally gone towards my degree so I feel like my opinion holds some weight (not as much as that of an actual English major but yk I assume I’ve had more education on it than the general TBHK fandom)

There are multiple ways to queercode a character, sometimes it can be as simple as feminizing a man or masculinizing a woman. Though that method might be a bit outdated nowadays with gender roles becoming less strict, it’s still worth keeping in mind when analyzing queer characters. Another way is through romantically colored scenes with characters of the same sex, or by having them hint at disinterest in the opposite sex. Mitsuba checks off all three of these boxes and then some

First off, Mitsuba is attracted to men. This is made extremely obvious through his relationship with Kou but I’m gonna explain it anyways because unfortunately I’ve seen a lot of fans say they’re just platonic

Mitsuba and Kou went on a date. When this is brought up, fans typically jump to the excuse of “but Kou said it wasn’t a date,” which is where my American Lit class is going to come in handy. One of the major things we learned is that authors have to understand that everything they write has some sort of real world connotation. If you write a scene with a doctor, you have to understand that your readers already have preconceived notions of what doctors represent. You can choose to either lean into that or subvert it, but you have to be aware that as soon as a doctor enters the scene, readers have already made assumptions about that character

The word “date” is clearly being used in a romantic context here. When Kou texts his friends and brother about it, they all assume he’s talking about a romantic date. While in the actual context of the scene, Mitsuba and Kou aren’t quite ready to use such a strong label yet, the romantic wording here is still very intentional. AidaIro would not have labeled this moment as a date if they didn’t want readers to view it in a romantic light, because they understand that their readers are going to associate dates with romance. Japanese censorship is really strict, it’s hard to publish stories with explicitly queer characters unless the series is labeled as a BL or GL. And so Japanese manga writers often have to find roundabout ways to express that characters are gay without outright stating it- such as suggesting that they’re going on a date with a character of the same sex

In the printed volume for Vol.20, there’s an editor’s note that mentions that when Kou and Mitsuba are making plans to hang out at the school festival, it holds a romantic implication for the Japanese audience. Cultural differences are important to keep in mind, to western fans this scene might not raise any eyebrows but for its primary audience, it is confirmation that Mitsuba and Kou are romantic. I also find it interesting that the editor felt this context was important enough to warrant clarification

And frankly, their relationship doesn’t make a lot of sense if it’s solely platonic. Male friendship is something TBHK writes very realistically, the male characters aren’t as touchy-feely with their friends as they are with their female love interests. Yokoo and Satou don’t directly ask Kou how he’s feeling when they notice he’s upset, instead they give him a task to distract him- similar to how men in real life cheer their friends up through quality time rather than talking through their emotions like women do (not every man ofc but a good majority of them). When Teru is down, Akane doesn’t hold him and reassure him the way he does with Aoi. There are no grand declarations of ultimate “friendship” the way you see in fan servicy series like Haikyuu. Instead, he used his and Teru’s rivalry to indirectly motivate him to get his head back in the game. When Hanako is sad, Kou cheers him up by making donuts for him and then giving them to Nene so she can pretend she’s the one who made them. This is a very healthy portrayal of male friendship, and Mitsuba and Kou are nothing like this

Mitsuba and Kou both cry and vent to each other multiple times (the Mitsuba Arc, the Picture Perfect Arc, the Nightlife Arc), and instead of comforting each other indirectly they do things like offering to die for each other. You would never see Akane offer to die to make Teru feel better, nor would you Aoi and Nene or Kou and Hanako. It stands out so much from other friendships in the series, even Kou’s friendships with other characters. That is a conscious writing decision, AidaIro make a point to show Mitsuba as an exception for Kou. It’s worth noting that in the same chapter where Yokoo and Satou cheer Kou up indirectly, Mitsuba attempts to directly have him talk about his feelings

They’re also incredibly possessive over one another, in a way friends usually aren’t. When Kou was in the Red House, he was shown his greatest desires, and Mitsuba appeared in one of these. Kou said he knew Mitsuba would appear, which is interesting because at that point he had already picked up on the house showing him what he wanted. But what does he want? He wants Mitsuba to rely on him entirely, to be completely useless without him. He wants Mitsuba to be “no good without him,” to need him so badly that he begs him to die so they can be together. I’m not exaggerating, these are lines pulled straight from the chapter (paraphrased but still). Later on in the Nightlife arc, Kou breaks down when he discovers Mitsuba has been relying on Tsukasa for life-saving help. As for Mitsuba, he wants to die by Kou’s hands. He says it wouldn’t be satisfying if anyone else killed him, and that he would be happy if Kou were to be the last person he spent time with before he died. He tries to trap Kou in a picture perfect world just like Hanako does with Nene, because he wants to live a normal life with him. It’s also shown in one of the extras that Mitsuba cries when Kou ignores him

They’re also drawn very romantically, again we don’t see Teru and Akane this intimate with one another unless they’re fighting. We especially don’t see Kou this intimate with anyone other than Mitsuba, and while Mitsuba is sometimes clingy with Tsukasa we certainly never see him posed romantically with a woman. This comes back to authorial intent and real world connotations, AidaIro know that male friends aren’t typically this close, and therefore casual affection like this will be interpreted in a romantic light. We see them hold hands/wrists multiple times too, Kou gives Mitsuba a piggyback ride in one scene, and in ASHK they had a classic “pinned against the wall” page

I’ll also mention the AUs, because those indicate a lot about the characters as well. In Hanako-Kun of the Opera, Kou poisoned Mitsuba so he could take him away from the opera house and protect him from Tsukasa. He basically kidnapped him. He also stayed with Mitsuba at the opera house for a seemingly long period of time despite hating opera. Aaaaand they’re childhood best friends in this au and Kou took care of Mitsuba while he was sick

Then there’s the Ghost Hotel, where Kou is a werewolf who takes bites out of mummy Mitsuba during full moons. Despite this, the two appear to be friends and Mitsuba helps Kou out around the kitchen. Cannibalism is consistently tied to romance throughout TBHK, most notably with Hakubo and Sumire but other romantic pairings have cannibalistic moments or official arts. During the zombie mokke chapter, Nene panicked when Akane tries to eat her because she assumed it would put her in a love triangle with Aoi. So yeah, cannibalism in TBHK is directly tied to romance and we see that with Mitsukou both in canon and in this au. Speaking of which, I’m not even gonna get into the symbolism of Kou holding a heart out to Mitsuba. Connect the dots for yourselves

Now that we’ve got Mitsukou out of the way, let’s talk about Mitsuba’s disinterest in women

Remember how I said one of the ways queercoding is done is by having a character hint at disinterest in the opposite sex? Yeah, very rarely are we going to see a queercoded male character outright say “I have no attraction to women.” Instead they say they just never saw the appeal in dating, or that they never had time to settle down. In more obvious cases, we have scenes like Reiner from AOT joking that Ymir isn’t all that into guys

I couldn’t find the second scene but there are TWO extras where the subject of Mitsuba’s disinterest in women comes up. C’mon guys I’m trying not to be mean here but you have to be blind, oblivious, or in denial to not pick up on that. Whyyyyy would they mention Mitsuba not having a crush on any girls twice if it weren’t to suggest something about his preference?? Coupled with his appearance (which I’ll get to later) and relationship with Kou, these scenes carry a lot of weight. Even if those other aspects weren’t included, scenes like this would still indicate he has no interest in women (which would make him gay or aroace, though due to his relationship with Kou the aroace thing is kind of ruled out)

Compare this to a scene where Mitsuba thinks he’s being asked out by a man. He doesn’t say “hmmm nope no guys, I’m cuter than all of them~” he specifically says “I’m not interested in guys with lame earrings.” The way this is worded implies that Mitsuba is discussing a type, though it’s v much a comedic scene and we know from everything else that he absolutely does like guys with lame earrings, it’s still worded in a way that makes him appear queer. If he were straight, they would have had him say he’s not interested in guys at all (like Dazai from Bungou Stray Dogs, John Watson from BBC Sherlock, Finn Hudson from Glee, idk there are a lot of male characters that are explicit straight sorry for the crazy random list). Also note how he teases Kou about it, he knows that Kou is fond of him and doesn’t hesitate to use that against him (like when he was comforting him during the Nightlife arc)

They don’t go overboard with Mitsuba’s disinterest in women because, well, that’s not really necessary. Two scenes is already a lot, and he doesn’t have any romantic relationships with women in canon (even as a crush/a joke scene). It’s rare for TBHK characters to have absolutely no scenes expressing interest in the opposite sex, since the series is partially a romance. But Mitsuba consistently only ever shows interest in one man, and when girls are brought up he’s quick to brush it off. His mom did think Nene was his girlfriend when they met, but this was depicted as a very awkward and comedic scene. Because the premise of Mitsuba having a girlfriend is objectively hilarious

(Due to Sousuke’s young age it’s reasonable to assume he wasn’t out to his mom yet, he’s around the age where most kids are closeted. It’s even possible that Sousuke hadn’t come to terms with his sexuality yet, though it’s still a prevalent part of both his character and No.3’s)

Now let’s move onto appearances. I want to give a quick disclaimer, not all gay men are feminine and not all feminine men are gay. Androgyny is also very common in anime and doesn’t automatically mean a character is gay, but there are cases when it’s used for queercoding. Mitsuba is one of these cases

Mitsuba is a very feminine character, this is addressed as soon as he shows up in the manga. He was bullied for his appearance (and personality), but unlike his personality he never tried to change his feminine appearance. He kept his hair long, continues to wear scarves and cardigans and earrings. No.3 wears these things as well, and I would argue has a more feminine personality since he seems to be more open about his emotions and idk. I struggle to categorize feminine and masculine traits because imo that’s subjective but there are things society deems feminine vs. masculine. The problem is that I really dislike the whole “men are strong and women are emotional” thing but ehhhh I guess I have to talk about it for this. Hmph. But yeah although Mitsuba isn’t exactly the biggest sweetheart ever, he does act somewhat feminine compared to the other male characters (as I’ve said he’s p much the only man in the series who attempts to work through emotional conflicts directly)

Once again we circle back to intent, AidaIro know that a male character dressed in pink with pink eyes and long pink hair is going to raise some eyebrows. Even by androgynous anime standards, it’s a bit much. And good for him, although not all gay men are feminine, some are and that’s also fine. I can’t speak on how well he represents feminine gay men because I’m a lesbian but he does dress similar to some of the feminine gay men I’ve known irl (or slightly less feminine in some cases…I knew this one dude in high school who used to wear corsets to class and he was so badass I hope he’s doing well)

I could get into how Kou is a bit feminized too with the whole housework thing but this ain’t abt him. I will say that Kou is still a very masculine character but despite this his character is feminized in some ways compared to the other men. I’m not really here to discuss whether that’s good or bad, I’m just stating the evidence as it is, you can make your own conclusions as to how you feel about it

So how does being queer impact Mitsuba’s character arc?

When I get around to writing my analyses of all the TBHK characters I WILL be talking more in depth about the queer allegories with Mitsuba’s character but for now I’ll give ya’ll a quick summary. Supernatural characters have been used for years to represent queerness, the same could be said for villains and any character trope that represents a feeling of “otherness.” Sometimes it’s more broad like X-Men, where the superpowered characters are used to represent all types of minorities (though I believe X-Men is more closely tied to race, there are rampant queer themes as well). Then there’s books like Interview with the Vampire that get more specific with it, where Louis denying his “true nature” as a vampire is used as an allegory for him denying his queerness. Well I’m here to tell you that Mitsuba and Louis de Pointe du Lac are in the same boat

Mitsuba differs from the other supernaturals because he desperately tries to hold on to feelings of normalcy. He wants to be a normal human and live a normal human life. He doesn’t want to be othered, to be outcasted from society for something he can’t control. We don’t see Hanako, Tsuchigomori, Mei, or any of the other supernatural characters struggle with this. You could argue that Akane does but his situation is more related to learning to empathize with others than any internal battles within himself. Hanako may have moments of wishing him and Nene could have something more, but that’s more about romance than his identity.

This desire to be “normal” is unique to Mitsuba’s character, and it’s a very queer desire. Being an angsty teenager who hasn’t fully accepted themself yet and hasn’t realized that being queer is not only normal, but a beautiful experience. It’s also so interesting to me that as he’s trying so hard to be normal, it creates a push and pull between him and Kou. He wants to be normal for Kou but he also feels that he’s hurting Kou just by existing, that this could only end bad for him. Oh the inherent guilt of having your first gay crush and feeling like you're corrupting them hist for pining from afar

So, can you ship him with women? Technically you can do anything, shipping isn’t illegal and we all have free will. Should you ship him with women is more subjective, I personally think no!! Queerness is not just a sexuality, it’s an identity that deeply impacts who you are as a person. It shapes your experiences and your view of yourself, and in an allegorical way it has certainly done this for Mitsuba. Yes, bi people are queer as well and this is still true for them, but bisexuality is not Mitsuba’s experience. Mono-attraction exists and that specification is very important to gay men and lesbians. For some people sexuality is fluid and that’s beautiful, but it doesn’t work that way for everyone

Some queer fans don’t care if gay characters are shipped with members of the opposite sex, and they’re entitled to their own opinions. It makes me immensely uncomfortable tho, so please block me if you ship Mitsuba with women. That goes for any ships between canon gay/lesbian characters and the opposite sex. I respect people’s right to have opinions but that doesn’t mean I have to like the opinions themselves, and I don’t have to engage with anything that makes me uneasy. That goes for all of you btw, never let people convince you that you have to put up with shit you hate on the internet lmao, this is not real life babes. Block and move on

TL;DR

Mitsuba is too gay to function

[terry-perry]

Okay i had this idea for some time. But i saw your post about wanting to practice writing Alastor. Can you do Alastor when he was alive? It’s the 1930s and he’s a radio host, i had this idea of reader being a female had to face female stereotypes still(i know in 1920s the 19th amendment was passed but women still had to face the aftermath), she wanted a job that only men could have. So what if Reader dresses as a boy, gets her dream job and ends up working alongside Alastor in his radio station. He doesn’t know that reader is a girl. I wanna leave the rest up to you! How does Alastor find out about reader being a girl and eventually probably falling in love? Like i can see Reader and Al being great friends at first. Im sorry this is long! But i want you to be creative!! You don’t have to do this if you don’t want to!

Inspired by the writing of Shakespeare, especially Twelfth Night

You watched Alastor hard at work as always preparing the setlist for the night's show. You loved how he lit up whenever he was doing something relating to his radio show. He was so passionate and full of life. It was contagious and had you wanting a fill of this life as well. Thanks to Alastor, you developed your already-formed love for music into one that could rival his.

Your love for music made you want to try your hand at radio broadcasting. Unfortunately, most, if not all, stations only wanted to hire women as secretaries - to answer calls, fetch coffee, and be at the host's beck and call. There was no way you'd be able to learn the ropes properly like that. This led you to cut your hair shorter than a flapper's bob and purchase some slacks and men's button-ups before going to Alastor's studio in hopes of being his new apprentice.

A part of you was anxious that your disguise would fool no one. Your voice was still rather high-pitched as a young girl no matter how hard you tried to disguise it. You were afraid everything about you resembled that of a woman. You tried your hardest to play it off as though you weren't quite a man yet, but also not a boy anymore. You were in that in-between stage that was neither fully a boy nor fully a man.

Thankfully Alastor bought it. He liked your spark, or rather, "Sebastian's" spunk - the male persona you chose to create for yourself. He loved your taste in music and your willingness to learn the ropes. He hired you on the spot!

Months passed since that fateful day and you'd been able to get by with your ruse with hardly any issues. Alastor had even let you take over broadcasts from time to time!

There was one problem, as of late, however.

You seem to have fallen in love with your boss.

There was an attraction towards him when you first laid your eyes on him. It felt like he cleared all the bad stuff from the air that once trapped you. His spontaneity shined through all his performances. He was always unapologetically himself, which you respected. Then there was the softer side he rarely showed, such as when he interacted with his mother, whom you had the opportunity to meet and have lunch with when you ran into the pair in town. It was endearing to watch them interact, smiling fondly at how he'd comply with her requests.

How could you not love a man who knows how to treat his mother? If a man can only give a little bit of love to his mother, how much more will he be able to love when he falls deeply for a woman who truly captures his heart?

But you weren't a woman to him. You were Sebastian, his apprentice. Whatever bond you formed in the last several months you worked together was purely platonic.

The most you could do was pine for him, gaze longingly from afar, and sigh dreamily as you watched how he prepared for his next show. You've already gotten involved in this situation due to your sense of foolishness and staying because of your love, so you carried on.

The more you got to know him, the more you felt like a deer and your wants have been chasing you like mean, vicious dogs ever since.

----

Alastor did his best to keep busy with his setlist, distracting himself from the feelings he'd been struggling with for a while now. He couldn't explain them or felt he shouldn't since something like this was equated to catching a plague. Society shouldn't blame him for being weak, however. It's just how people were made. Women love, men love, and he knew if he was a woman, he'd love Sebastian.

He wouldn't deny it. Nothing else could describe what was happening to him as he admired everything about his apprentice. His words, expressions, movements, behavior, and energy drew him in like a moth to a flame.

Also, the intense dream he had the other night that involved Sebastian made his feelings especially clear.

He didn't want to recall too much of it while in the studio, but he couldn't forget about Seb's sweet voice beckoning him: "Al, we need to be careful and hide our love." Alastor had to keep himself from getting flustered as he remembered how he would hold Seb's hand tightly, call him sweet names, kiss him passionately as if he was pulling air out of him, put his leg over his, sigh and kiss him more, and then curse the fate that made them belong in the dark.

He really needed to get a hold of himself!

Especially since the night after that, he heartbreakingly discovered that Sebastian was already involved with someone else. He had followed him back to his apartment after a late night at the studio. Seb told him he needn't bother, but Alastor couldn't let him go alone. His strong desire pushed him to follow his sweet boy. It wasn't just love that made him follow him, but also worry about what could happen to him on the streets alone in the dark. The area could be an unfamiliar and possibly dangerous journey even for those who lived there.

Alastor's love for Sebastian, mixed with fear, made him decide to accompany him in the shadows.

How shocked he was to peer up into the window of the apartment. Seb lived on a semi-high floor, so Alastor didn't get a decent view. And yet, he knew what he saw.

A woman with a boyish haircut undressing and preparing for bed.

[weemsfreak]

The Only One

Hi ya'll, happy pride month!!

Sorry for being mia, I have been quite busy with school and also working on this (slowly) all of June. I was unsure of the vibes I wanted this story to give, as I have been feeling confused(?) as of late, and for some reason June has brought many feelings and a couple crap experiences that I wanted to incorporate into here. I did make the story hopeful toward the end, but I just wanted to say that if anyone feels this way, you are not alone!

Calling our Lesbian Headmistress to help make the confusing and lonely times a bit better with a pride event. I know not everybody likes to celebrate pride in this way, but I thought it was cute.

Larissa Weems x studentreader (platonic) ~4.6k words

Part of my 'All the Time' series, based on reader being a lesbian but struggles with her sexuality and falls for her straight friend (canon experience ;))

Warnings: partially closeted, mention of family not understanding, self reflection (internalized homophobia/being proud)

༻༺

Nobody ever talks about how lonely it is, being queer in a small town.

The lack of representation, of places to go, and people to meet. The sliver of hope that you will feel safe if you decide to venture, if you decide to try.

Her with him and him with her and 'girl crush' this and 'man crush' that.

But all in all, you thought that perhaps the worst of it all was the feeling of being the only one.

You listen to songs that describe other places, places you wish your mother would tell you to go.

You know she wants you to stay, but you can't ignore the crazy visions of you in…well, somewhere that perhaps doesn't exist- or maybe it does.

Somewhere a different version of yourself could live; hopeful, happy, proud.

Your favorite movie, which makes you feel accepted, alive, is less than ten years old, even though you're a fan of old classic Hollywood.

You don't see yourself in them.

Many times before, you've heard people say 'it would be so much easier to be gay.'

They must've been joking, of course; but being gay was not a joke.

They joke about being gay but they've never wondered if their family would still love them.

They joke about being gay but they've never been scared of their friends abandoning them and talking behind their back.

They joke about being gay but they've never rejected a man with the reason of being interested in women, just for the man to ask if it's the truth, 'they could turn you', so they say.

They joke about being gay but they've never been the quiet one when others talked about boys.

They joke about being gay but they've never felt like they were disrespecting women because they found them attractive.

They joke about being gay but they've never been the outcast.

They joke about being gay but they've never worried about their loved ones not attending their wedding.

They joke about being gay but they've never pretended to like men to try and fit in with their peers.

They joke about being gay but they've never had nobody to talk to.

They joke about being gay but they've never had nobody to cry to.

They joke about being gay but they've never wished they were a boy, for the sole reason of a woman liking them back.

They joke about being gay but they've never had to love somebody in secret.

They joke about being gay but they'll never know what it feels like.

As bad as you felt, through the loneliness, the grief, the 'what ifs' and the doubt, it wasn't the fact of being queer that scared you, it wasn't that you weren't open, or accepting.

What did hurt though, was what came with it.

The fear of never finding someone, the fear of being rejected and harmed in public, the fear of never understanding how you really felt; the fear of feeling too deeply.

There have been times where you almost, almost, decided to leave it be.

'In another life' you said, shrugging your shoulders as a tear dripped down your cheek at the thought of faking it, and marrying a man.

But one day, you were reading a book dated from the 60s, when the realization hit you.

Years ago, regrettably not that many, you would not have the choice, you would not have the freedom.

And here you were, in the age of progression, hiding away in the land of heterosexuals.

You had a choice, you had freedom.

For the woman before you who were stuck in sham marriages, cried themselves to sleep, snuck around with another woman and feared for their life, for the women who raised children but not with whom they loved, for the women who had no such thing as freedom of choice.

You would not fake it, you would not hide, you would be your true self for them, and for you, regardless of the very possible fact that you could be the only queer in this small town.

༻༺

The headmistress stood outside of the chemistry classroom one gloomy morning, greeting students as they entered as your teacher always did.

You sauntered through the halls as you watched your peers and their modernistic and typical ways.

You weren't sure who's twisted idea it was, to put hundreds of adolescents in underfunded schools run by people whose dreams were crushed years ago…but you admired the sadism.

Opening your locker and retrieving your books, your sketchbook met the floor with an echo when a guy accidentally bumped into you.

"Oh crap, sorry Y/N"

You gave him a menacing look, before taking a breath and straightening yourself out.

"No worries."

His friend, who had shoved him into you, continued on to class as he spoke from down the hall. "C'mon man, leave the freak alone."

You expected him to continue on as well, but he didn't.

"How are things going?"

You'd likely be late for class if he kept the conversation up.

"A lot of this" you shrugged, pointing to your books.

"Yea, me too. The harvest festival is coming up though, I know you love the fall, and all things creepy."

You huffed in amusement, nodding your head.

"It’s nice to have things to look forward to."

He smiled and nodded, looking to his feet.

"Well, I'll see you there. Maybe I'll message you?"

You shook your head uninterested, not holding him to it.

"Sure."

Bending down to pick your sketchbook up off the floor, it was open to a doodle you had done which was rather, well, not appropriate for school.

Slamming your sketchbook shut, you stood and met your locker mirror; your own reflection, as well as the principals, smiling back at you.

Jump scare.

"Good morning, darling."

You spun around in surprise, staring wide eyed.

"Principal Weems, good morning."

She nodded as she looked at you in amusement, hoping to hide her true thoughts about your morning interactions.

"Where is Ms. Currie?"

The principal tilted her head at you, "Out today. I was notified last minute, so I'm your substitute."

Well, it was your lucky day.

The principal never failed to notice your…disinterest.

She didn't fail to notice the way some students picked on you, nor your lack of emotion; your presence of indifference towards men.

She saw herself in you, you were just like her.

That thought brought her both joy and pain.

༻༺

Sitting in the quad, you nervously twisted your fingers as you watched your friend approach.

You had heard, apparently, that it was a 'cannon lesbian experience' to have a crush on your friend.

Man were they right, and man, did it hurt.

She sat with a smile, though you could see that her attention was diverted.

"Hi."

"Hey Mar."

You swallowed, looking her in the eye across the table.

"I um, I was thinking, the Rave 'N is soon, maybe we could go together…"

Just then, you watched Gannon make his way to the table and sit beside your friend.

She squealed lightly, pulling him closer to her.

"Y/N, did I tell you Gannon and I are going to the Rave 'N together?!"

Your heart dropped, but it wasn't anything new, it wasn't at all surprising.

For you knew your friend liked men, but you had thought that maybe, well, you didn’t know; maybe there was hope that someone could be like you.

"Oh, uh, congratulations."

Your heart panged as they looked into each others eyes, smiling in anticipation.

"So, what were you talking about?"

You shook your head and let out a weak chuckle, quickly thinking of an excuse.

"I um, I was thinking maybe we could get ready for the Rave'N together, that could be fun."

Marcella smiled as she stood, linking her arm with Gannon's.

"Sure! I'll see you later!"

The principal, who supervised lunch in the quad, watched your rejection with disappointment and regret.

It dug deep, it brought back memories of her own time at Nevermore; the hate and the heartbreak that she felt, that you felt.

Sometimes, things never changed.

'I don't know if I believe the way I feel is real

And I often wonder if it is

Watching your friend dance with a guy

And pondering whether it's what she truly wishes

Should you step in, or leave her be?

You know you wouldn’t wish it, but does she?

It hurts a bit, a little, a lot; watching her dance so close to him

And maybe she'd dance with you like that too

But not in this life, no, not now,

For she's dancing with him, and you watch from the crowd'

༻༺

You knew it wasn’t the fault of your own; the despair, the regret, the loneliness.

But, you couldn't help but feel it when you were alone, so utterly alone, regardless of the fact that you could be surrounded by people.

They'd never understand the feeling of being so outcast, ironically, the feeling of being so different. The feeling of being told that how you felt was somehow wrong.

You felt it, you felt it wholeheartedly; and how could your heart be wrong?

Your parents, who never meant any harm, contradicted themselves.

Honestly, you couldn't exactly say how, but it hurt in a way that you didn't understand.

You thought maybe they were smarter, more knowledgeable, perhaps wiser than you.

They had always said that you could talk to them, but it was useless, as any attempt made you feel worse, not better.

They had been on this earth for sometime, however, surely they must've experienced the hate, and transformed themselves to some degree?

Wishful thinking.

They could never be so open.

And you think, maybe that's what hurt the most; wishing they could understand, wishing they would care enough to understand.

Alas, wishing was useless.

There were nights where you prayed for an older, wiser being to cry to. Someone who could tell you what to do and how to feel, someone who would listen, someone who would care.

Someone who would see you. Someone who understood, because they felt it themself.

༻༺

You made every attempt to be true to yourself.

To not lie, to let yourself feel what you felt, to get out more; to live.

It was hard to be true to yourself, though, when your friends agreed to accompany you to a pride day in Jericho, and then ditched you.

You resented them, you envied them, they didn't know what it felt like; they never would.

The hurt multiplied ten fold when June came around. The hiding, the thinking, the loneliness, it didn't settle, it didn't stop.

After an hour of scrubbing off your makeup, crying face down into your bed, and ditching your  themed outfit, you arrived in Jericho, the opening ceremony finished.

The town square was very festive, multiple restaurants and shops agreed to host a scavenger hunt, crafted special meals to celebrate, provide smaller fun activities, and fireworks. You were proud of the small town of Jericho, they were trying; as were you.

And although they were trying, these activities were not really fun to do, well…alone.

Alas, that's what you were. Alone.

Passing by the Weathervane, you saw a small group of Nevermore students on their way out. You wanted to join in, but you didn’t know them, not that well.

Peering over at the counter, you found a drink special for the day;

'buy any regular sized drink, get rainbow whipped cream for free.'

You snorted, it was rather cheesy, but cute.

Stepping up to the counter, you ordered an iced coffee.

"Would you like rainbow whipped cream on that?"

You sighed, about to shake your head no when you heard a voice at the other end of the counter.

"Thank you, dear. This looks delicious."

She was standing tall with a red lipped smile, peering down at her hot chocolate; rainbow whipped cream on top.

You had to agree, it did look delicious.

"Yes, uh, whipped cream please."

As soon as your drink was made, you beelined it for the door, hoping she wouldn't see you.

It wasn't that you didn’t want to see her, it wasn't that you didn’t want to talk.

It was that you didn’t want her to see you- alone.

Unsure of where to go next, you stood on the sidewalk and tried your drink; delicious.

The doorbell rang and she stepped out, gazing around the streets.

In a flash, you turned and headed down the sidewalk, away from the activities, away from her.

"Y/N?"

You stopped, slowly turning as if you were unsure of where the voice had come from.

A wave, a smile, and she was next to you in a few strides.

"Darling, you're going the wrong way, the festival is this way!"

She never failed to make you happy, her and her rainbow hot chocolate.

You shrugged, "I uh, I don't really want to participate."

Her head tiled in question as she caught sight of your drink.

"You're not interested in celebrating pride?"

Well, that just made you sound homophobic. You shook your head quickly.

"No, no I am. I just, my friends were supposed to come with me but, they changed their minds I guess."

The principal looked down at you, your head hung in sadness, perhaps shame.

Today was not a day to be sad, it was not a day to be shameful, it was a day to be proud, to celebrate.

"Well, I am here with a few Nevermore students. I am proud to support them, no matter who or what they are."

You couldn't help but smile crookedly in awe, meeting her appreciative blue gaze. She bent down closer to you, softening her voice. "That includes you, love."

Your heart beat fast as you stared in surprise, tears threatened to spill as you felt accepted and cared for, for the first time in a long time.

Taking a sip of your drink with a shaky hand, you fiddled with your jewellery.

The woman saw you thinking, contemplating.

She felt the exact same at your age. Knowing who you were, to an extent, but pushing the feeling away with every chance you got.

You didn’t want to, she knew, you wanted to be proud, she knew, but it was hard when you felt like the only one, the only one in this small town.

"How about we try the scavenger hunt, hmm?"

You looked up at her with a frown, but inside you felt joyful.

"We're probably already behind" you chuckled.

The woman waved a hand in dismissal, "Nonsense. We have a good chance if we work together."

༻༺

1.

You made your way back into the Weathervane, retrieving the first clue to the hunt.

'If the first pride flag was designed in Jericho, it would've been designed here.'

You passed the first clue to her, knowing the first pride flag was designed in 1978. If it had have been designed in Jericho, well, you had three options.

The woman smiled, gasping lightly as she recalled "'Sew it forward', it was established here in the 1960s."

༻༺

2.

You followed the intriguing woman to 'Sew it forward', watching as she retrieved the second clue and stamped the pride book red.

She took the clue between her fingers, narrowing her eyes at the small writing.

'This famous bar in New York City was the site of the 1969 riots, a pivotal event in LGBTQ+ history. Find the Jericho bar that starts with the same letter.'

You racked your brain around the bars in Jericho. You have never been to the bars besides for lunch.

"Stones!"

The principal raised a brow at you, a small smirk on her face.

"What?! Just because I'm not of age doesn’t mean I haven't been. Stones has good pizza."

A loud laugh was heard throughout the fabric shop. You were overjoyed that you could make her laugh freely, albeit most likely sounding stupid.

She headed for the door; and you would follow her anywhere.

༻༺

3.

Arriving at Stones, you found those also attempting the hunt, and those drowning in drinks.

You stamped the book with the second stamp, orange, and retrieved the third clue.

'Locate a pin or item that displays personal pronouns or sexual orientation, both important ways to respect people's identities.'

Leading the way out into the street, you looked around.

You didn’t remember seeing a shop with a prominent pin or badge.

"A pin or badge."

You looked up at the tall woman, her eyebrows furrowed in question.

Raking your eyes over her form, you found a brooch on her jacket, one you knew she wore often.

Lips.

"Where did you get that brooch?"

She peered down at her brooch, straightening it out as a light blush overtook her cheeks.

"Oh, my brooch. I got it at the antique shop, Uriah's Heap."

Uriah's Heap, a shop so very, well, out of the ordinary.

It was your favorite.

You stared at her for a moment hoping she would catch on, until her eyes widened in excitement.

"Let's go!" she smiled, grabbing your hand as she drug you to the shop.

༻༺

4.

You stood outside of Uriah's Heap, finding a large progressive pride flag pin on their window.

You knew this was a scavenger hunt, a race of some sort, but you always loved searching for hidden treasures in the shop that many people didn’t appreciate.

Following the principal, she found her way to the antique jewelry.

Choosing a vintage locket, you placed it on the counter and found a basket of pins staring back at you.

"Hello, did you find something of interest?"

The woman, who you remembered enjoyed chaga tea after working here on outreach day, peered down at you.

"Yes, may I purchase this?"

Peering over at the tall woman, she held a brooch up to you.

"Do you think this is nice, darling?"

A brooch which you thought resembled an eye. Very fitting for the principal and her unique look.

"It's beautiful, it matches your bracelet."

She smiled gratefully down at you, placing it on the counter.

"You are very perceptive" she remarked.

The lady rang up both items, the principal speaking up.

"Oh, I'll purchase that separate."

You shook your head at her with a sly smile, "I got it Principal Weems."

After purchasing your items, the principal retrieved the fourth clue and stamped the book yellow.

'What LGBTQ+ novel, written by Sheridan Le Fanu, preceded Dracula?'

You had read this book recently, an easy clue, really.

"Carmilla"

The woman looked down at you in surprise, nodding her head.

"Great novel, absolutely the best. I'm proud" she winked.

You smiled, gaze landing on the floor bashfully before peering back over at the pins in the basket.

The woman noticed and sorted through them. "Hmm, so many options. Would you like one?"

You watched as she held them in her hands to you, every option they had available.

There were so many colors, so many flags and pronouns.

You hummed and hawed over them, knowing which you wanted to chose, but still unsure.

"Well, I think I like this one."

The principal chose one; red, orange, white and pink stripes staring back at you.

Your mouth opened in shock as you watched her pin it to her jacket.

She smiled mischievously, "What's the matter, darling?"

The lesbian flag, something you didn't see often included in pride merchandise.

"I, uh, are you…" you stuttered.

The woman chuckled, straightening out the pin. "A lesbian?"

You nodded speechless as you stared up at her, thrill running through your veins.

She clasped her hands together and gave one nod, a bright smile as she batted her eyelashes your way.

Her support, her happiness, the confidence that she had, it made you want to cry.

You were so, so happy for her, you were so very proud.

Proud of her for her openness, proud of her for her representation, proud of her for being her true self, and for showing others that it was okay to be gay.

Grateful for her bravery, to show others that they were not alone.

You took a deep breath, "Can I have the same one?"

She dug through the pins, finding the very same flag and holding it out to you, "May I?"

You nodded, presenting your jacket to her.

She pinned in on, running a hand soothingly over your arm.

"I'm so very proud of you, darling."

You breathed in heavily, taking in her sincere and caring smile before meeting her gaze.

"I'm proud of you too, Principal Weems. And I'm so happy for you, thank you."

It was all the principal had wished for on this day, to help at least one person through their journey. To help you present yourself, to help you feel like you deserved to be seen, to help you feel proud.

"Of course, love. Now, where can we find the novel 'Carmilla'?"

Well, the library or bookstore, of course. But, you took a bet that Carmilla may not be at the library, so you headed to the bookstore.

༻

5. Crow bookshop

You retrieved the second last clue, stamping the book green.

'Locate the basket prepared for a festive outdoor meal, filled with colorful snacks and drinks. Perfect for a celebration under the open sky.'

The principal looked down at you in contemplation.  "The Basket, like the restaurant?"

You shrugged your shoulders, unsure of where else they would be referring to.

༻༺

6.

You arrived at 'The Basket', a restaurant just before the beach.

There were a few specials, a fruit basket, a flight of ciders, and a flight of sliders.

You knew the principal was a fan of burgers.

"Are you hungry?"

The tall woman looked down at you, smiling as she read over the special.

"Chipotle, Bacon and cheese, Veggie, Bean, Texas, and Chicken sliders. Would you like to share?"

You looked over the menu, rereading what she had just rhymed off.

Nodding, you asked, "What's a flight?"

She chuckled, ordering the special for you both.

"You're about to find out."

Sitting at a table on the back patio, you settled down across from the principal.

A moment silence, you looked her up and down, questioning many things.

An older, wiser being. A beautiful one who appeared to be pretty open, who seemed like she'd understand, who seemed like she cared.

"How did you know that you liked women and not men?"

The woman raised her gaze to you, lips stretching into a sad smile.

She took a deep breath and smoothed a napkin over her lap.

"Well, when I was your age, this small town was all that I knew, just like you.

I knew that I didn't feel the same as my peers, I never cared to talk about boys, I never really fit in in the way that I hoped to.

One day I realized that I wouldn't at all mind kissing my friend, in fact I longed to" she chuckled. "Representation was lacking, but what little of it there was, it helped me realize how I felt as I grew. It's hard to accept yourself, for many reasons, but when you try to push it away, it doesn't get any better, it never changes."

Your voice was hoarse as you asked in confirmation.  "It never changes?"

She shook her head, "It never changes. You have to decide for yourself.

Do whatever makes you happy, feel whatever makes you happy, no matter how different it is, no matter how alone you may feel."

You pursed your lips as tears built in your eyes, she was right, of course she was.

"Well, it helps knowing I'm not the only one."

The woman nodded her head in agreement, wallowing over the memories of her feeling alone, of her heartbreakingly coming to the realization of how she truly felt, of who she really was.

It brought her sadness, to know that others felt the same; perhaps even worse.

"The journey is not an easy one, it's not for the weak. You have to know that you're strong, and you're worthy, always."

The sliders were placed on your table, averting her attention.

She carefully cut them all in half, holding up a piece of the bacon and cheese as she offered the rest to you.

"Bon appétit."

The principal stamped the book blue and picked up the last clue.

 '"At midnight, in the month of June, I stand beneath the mystic moon." What establishment is named after this poet?'

She looked down at you with a finger pointed your way.

You scrunched your eyebrows, Edgar Allan Poe.

The only establishment could be, "The Poe!"

You and the principal laughed, shouting the answer at the same time.

༻༺

7.

 You headed to The Poe, a small museum and shop on the beach that sold trinkets, drinks, and ice cream.

Principal Weems stamped the last page purple, turning in the scavenger hunt book to the shop.

"Well, congratulations! You were fifth to finish the scavenger hunt."

You laughed, fifth place.

The tall woman smiled down at you with a wink, "We're losers."

You both were, in fact, losers.

After collecting your prizes and ordering ice cream, which the principal insisted on, you made your way to a bench on the beach.

You watched the woman with great interest. An intelligent, interesting woman she was. A powerful, selfless woman. A perceptive woman, a force to be reckoned with.

You hoped and prayed that you would grow up to be at least half the person that she was.

The principal caught your interest with a low chuckle.

"I'm having lots of fun with you, love, but I'm sorry you had to spend the day with your principal."

You tilted your head in confusion; you were not sorry, not one bit.

"I'm not sorry. Today was the best day I've had in awhile. Thank you."

The woman pouted, opening her arms to you; you gladly embraced her.

With a deep breath you pulled away, placing your hand in her soft reassuring one.

"So what happened with your friend? The one you wanted to kiss?"

The principal chuckled remorsefully. "Nothing."

Looking out over the water, her smile turned to a frown.

"I wanted to hold her, to protect her from men with all the fury I had grown.

They don't see her beauty like I do, they don't care to.

But unfortunately, it's the same old story."

She turned to you with sad eyes.

"A girl cries over a girl and that girl cries over a guy, and well…

it goes on and on and on,

and it doesn't stop.

It never stops."

You were just like her, perhaps there was hope for you.

Just then, fireworks lit up the darkness of the beach. All colors of the spectrum were on display, but all you saw was red, orange, white, and pink.

Your attention was then diverted to a girl wearing a Nevermore uniform as she made her way to you.

She waved, "Hi Principal Weems."

She then looked to you. "Hi Y/N"

She spoke with the principal as you analyzed her. You recognized her, but you didn't know her name, so how did she know yours?

The girl's eyes landed on you once again, meeting your gaze. You didn't want to ask.

"Aura, I like your pin." A sly tone to the older woman's voice.

You followed the principals gaze to the pin on Aura's jacket, then you peered down at the pin attached to yours.

"Thanks Principal Weems" she smiled, eyes slowly trailing to the woman's pin, then to yours.

Your eyebrows furrowed, and Aura's raised in surprise.

"Oh, we all have the same pin!"

The principal chuckled, gazing down at you with a bright smile.

"See darling, you're never alone. I promise you're not the only one."

[f1ghtsoftly]

Look as a lesbian it sucks to see women cap so hard for men who treat them….so badly but some of the leading lights in the history of feminism in the US/UK were in heterosexual partnerships with men they genuinely loved and went on to accomplish truly important things for women. I can’t say I fully endorse all het women going out and getting themselves a man, because it’s a tricky business and tough to get right.

So all I can say in regard to het women is this:

1.) You should be single for a while and put yourself in separatist environments regularly, because the social pressure to put up with bad behavior from men is *high* and it’s important you surround yourself with people who prioritize you for you if you’re going to withstand it. If those people are lesbians, please don’t talk about your relationship to us constantly, if you find yourself unable to think of anything else that you care about…consider if your partner has other hobbies or interests. Consider the gendered dynamics of you having only him and him having a life.

2.) Any male you end up with is going to be socialized to take advantage of you or other women around you, sometimes a lot, sometimes a little. Men can be human and have lovable qualities and still be misogynistic. Being able to love someone very much-but also refuse to sacrifice yourself to their subconscious (or conscious) beliefs is going to save you. Learn how to do it.

3.) Sometimes….none of it is going to be enough and celibacy is ok. It’s ok to feel so disgusted by patriarchy and men’s treatment of women you’re turned off from men on the whole and it’s definitely ok to feel this way and not be attracted to women. I know a few women actually who are just not interested in men after being treated particularly poorly by them. Women have found platonic companionship with one another for a very long time, just because you don’t want men-doesn’t mean that you’ll be alone.

Ultimately, lesbian feminists shouldn’t be the authority on the happiness of women interested in men but I do think because we prefer the company of women we can sometimes have fresh eyes when women get lost in the patriarchal sauce. And I think lesbian feminists who advocate for separatism come from a good place, I know a lot of wonderful women with good qualities who got lost in relationships with men who don’t value them and it’s very easy to get lost on that road, many people will encourage you and your socialization will work against you. At the same time, I never want to dissuade women from happiness or love or partnership or misrepresent the political project of feminism as being something dependent on one’s relationship status. Ultimately, women do not have to be defined by their relationships, they can be, but it doesn’t have to be so. As a sister who isn’t affected by this challenge, all I can offer is my solidarity, my support and perspective.

[transmascposi]

[tw: very brief and vague mention of child sexual abuse]

this is not a positivity post.

---

i'm running this blog for trans masc / trans men positivity, but honestly, i've been struggling to be positive lately.

my most liked post is about gay trans men being attractive to other gay men. that post is super popular and made a lot of people feel better. yet i still feel disgusting and unwanted.

the people i like romantically and am sexually attracted to do not like me in those ways. the only people sexually interested in me are fetishizers and a few strange men who i do not find attractive, all these on grindr. no one has ever expressed any sexual interest in me that wouldn't come off as weird or creepy to me. i know only about two people who liked me romantically.

i have a group of gay friends (cis and nonbinary, none of them identify as trans) to whom all i'm attracted to (i've had a crush on two of them and still am kind of in love with one of them) and none of them are attracted to me. they all sleep with each other. i'm the only one with whom none of them slept with. i have very special connections with some of them and i have no reason to doubt our platonic bonds. i know they love me a lot. but i can't help but feel absolutely horrible and less than when i'm confronted with the reality of their sex lives (versus mine. i've never had sex. i'm almost 24.). i also get triggered very easily when confronted with this reality, likely because of my abandonment trauma and past child sexual abuse which wasn't severe but my therapist thinks it had an impact.

i recently stumbled upon a research about the lgbtq+ community and one of the topics studied was how much people with certain labels were attracted to other people with certain labels. trans men scored very very low with men attracted to men. gay men even had more sexual experience with cis women then with trans men!!

i'm so sorry to bring negativity to the followers of this blog but i find it harder and harder to be positive. i feel ashamed because of my lack of sexual experience, the lack of attention, i feel unwanted, unattractive, inferior. i feel like i don't belong. all because i'm a trans man.

[deathmetalunicorn1]

Part 18 with Luffy and Eri!Reader are sent to Amazon Lily together (If Reader does join him, my next request is going to be funny)

When Reader and Luffy finally land, they searched for some food, and found some mushrooms, only for them to both fall unconscious (Either from the mushrooms or actually getting something to eat after days of flying in the air)

Some of the Women were touching Reader’s horn (While she was asleep) since they’ve never seen anyone with a horn before, but they were shocked seeing the scars littered on her tiny body so they separated Reader from Luffy (They thought he was the one who hurt Reader since he’s a man) though she had to tell them he wasn’t (They didn’t believe her since he probably manipulated her)

Reader didn’t look at her brother when he didn’t have any clothes on because she was told by Sanji (After Franky joined) to never look there no matter what since it’s a big ‘No No’ area, especially if it’s a man or boy (She was confused about the ‘Jewels’)

The Amazon Women call Reader ‘Small One’ because of her age and tiny size

Reader and Luffy accidentally crashed in on Boa Hancock bathing and ran away from her, as she kept firing some heart shaped beam at them that did nothing (It didn’t affect them because Luffy isn’t attracted to Hancock and Reader’s very scared of how mean and intimidating she’s being *She’s not one to feel affection for others based on appearances, rather on personality*) even if Reader does gain affection for Hancock, her power would rewind herself from turning to stone

Reader was scared when Luffy had to fight to save the Women who helped them and tried to come in, only for Luffy to tell her to stay put as he doesn’t want her in danger

Though Reader does slowly start to like Hancock after she turned Marguerite and the others back from stone (As she also agreed with Luffy for them to be saved instead, as they’ll try to find their own way off the island)

Boa Hancock and her sisters find Kinship in Reader after learning about where her scars came from, as she got them from a ‘Bad Man’ (The Sisters develop fondness for Reader, especially since she’s still kind and sweet even after enduring such pain)

Hancock develops platonic feelings for Reader (Finding her adorable) as she felt weak to her knees when she saw Reader smile (Everyone felt weak seeing Reader’s sugary, closed eye smile)

However, Luffy and Reader both were horrified to find out Ace is being Executed! And rush over to Hancock to ask her to help them save their Brother Ace!

When Reader learns of Hancock’s ‘illness’ she pleads that if she can help then can Hancock help them! Only to her shock find out Hancock is actually okay! And feels relief knowing that ‘Miss Hancock’ is okay *She doesn’t realize Boa is in love with her Big Brother Luffy, as she thinks her illness is acting up whenever she sees her face get red and worriedly asks if she’s okay, which makes Boa’s face become even redder seeing Reader be so worried over her*)

I have the most ‘devious’ and ‘evil’ plan for the next request (It’s just chaotic and hilarious that’s centered around Eri!Reader and Boa Hancock) so when you reopen your request I hope you’ll like it (If you don’t want to do it it’s completely fine with me!)

Forgive me my dear, but I have other plans for Eri :3 and part 18 will be the Whitebeard War and the 2 Year Skip.

-“That bastard Kuma- I’m going to kill him when I see him! How could he do this to someone so young?!” you didn’t recognize the voice, they sounded angry, angry at the giant man who sent everyone away.

-You whimpered, your eyes opening and you found yourself surrounded by lots of unknown men, and tears quickly filled your eyes.

-The closest man, who had a tuft of yellow hair on top of his head, gently brushed some of the tears away, “Hey now Y/N- you’re safe now yoi. No tears.”

-You looked around, “Luffy- where’s Luffy?” they didn’t answer you, unable to because they didn’t know before you saw a giant man, one with a strange mustache peering at you over everyone else.

-He smiled down at you, “Don’t be scared Y/N.” your eyes went wide, shooting into a sitting position, you recognized that voice as your eyes softened, more tears welling, “Grandpa?”

-The men were quickly all panicking, seeing you in tears, not sure on what to do before someone shouted, “I wish Ace was here- he would know what to do!”

-You looked over at where the voice came from before you looked back up at Whitebeard, “Is Ace not here?”

-You felt fear when his look fell, looking upset, “No he’s not, he’s… Ace was captured, Y/N, by the marines, and they are wanting to execute him.” He didn’t sugar coat anything, something some of his sons scolded him for as you were stunned stiff.

-You then surprised everyone, wiping your tears with the back of your hands, “We need to go save him then!” your declaration quickly had laughter filling the room as Whitehead reached down, gently comforting you, “We’re already on our way.”

-Your eyes lit up brightly, “Really?” causing several heart related issues around the room before you asked what had happened, Marco, who was sitting next to you, spoke first, “We’re hoping you could tell us first.”

-So, you told them what had happened, with having fun at the amusement park, Camie getting kidnapped, Luffy punching a funny looking man in a bubble suit and you knocking his sister off the ladder to save Camie, then Kuma came and blasted everyone away.

-Whitebeard nodded softly, “That’s what we thought. You landed here on our ship in a paw print shaped crater. Seems that Kuma bastard knew that you would be safe here.” Instantly Marco and the nurses were yelling at Whitebeard, scolding him for using such language, which was rather comical to see.

-After you were cleaned up, as you weren’t heavily injured, just a little on your hands and knees, and dirty, you were brought into the galley by Izo, so you could get something to eat.

-Vesta couldn’t help but beam, giving you another cream puff, your cheeks looking like a chipmunks, as you were the center of attention, sitting on Whitebeard’s lap.

-You then spoke up, “How did Ace get captured? Ace is super strong!” hearing your praise of Ace did warm their heart, and you noticed everyone looking sad, Marco sighed, looking down at a handkerchief that was wrapped around his wrist, one that had dried blood on it.

-They told you of Thatch, and of Teach, or Blackbeard as he’s known by now, who attacked and killed Thatch for the Devil Fruit he had managed to find, and Ace went after him in revenge. The marines had been able to catch Ace when his back was turned, thanks to Blackbeard, knocking him back into their grasp.

-You were holding Marco’s hand, looking at the handkerchief, tears in your eyes, “Was Thatch nice? Was he a good big brother too?” Marco smiled gently at you, reaching up to brush a tear from your cheek, “He was- he was a goof ball, but he made good food and was a very good person.”

-You heard all you needed to know, and your horn flared to life, holding the handkerchief, and everyone froze as Thatch reformed, using his blood, much like how you did with Bellmere.

-Seeing what you were doing, Whitebeard went to stop you, as had heard from Ace that doing this would make you sick, but within only moments, Thatch was standing there, and he gasped in deeply- like he had been holding it, as his eyes shot open, clutching at his chest, shocked.

-Everyone was stunned, seeing what you had done. You smiled warmly as Thatch looked down at you and in an instant, they all now knew why the government was after you.

-You were sweating heavily, your cheeks flushed as you smiled warmly. You would have fallen off Whitebeard’s lap, had he not caught you, and instantly everyone was panicking, seeing that you had collapsed after bringing Thatch back from the dead!!

-Whitebeard and Marco were immediately shouting out orders as Whitebeard let him take you as he could get to the infirmary faster.

-Luckily it wasn’t as bad as it looked, just a nasty fever and you had fainted, and you had the best care possible as everyone was watching over you.

-Whitebeard stood on the deck of his ship, the other ships all around him as he spoke as they all were sailing towards Marineford, telling everyone around him, who all felt the same, that they were going to get Ace back, no matter what.

[blackpilljesus]

Friendships with maIes is a topic that tends to come up multiple times in single childfree women spaces and generally speaking, if you have maIe friends you're absolutely sure is just a friendship that you made before committing to this lifestyle then it isn't that deep it is what it is. It's just a thing where they're on thin ice like Sekhmet-SheOwl said about friendships (& family relations) with maIes. You still prioritise yourself & other (like-minded) women in the end.

However personally, I dont recommend it at all & I dont have any maIe friends. I was going to add what Sekhmet-SheOwl said about friendships with maIes regarding how women would treat maIe friendships vs romantic/sexual relationships (which long story short is that women aren't typically as attached in friendships. In her separatism video she gives an example of a maIe friend moving cities & asking the woman to move with him vs a maIe partner moving cities & asking the woman to move with him; women would be more likely to reject the former but accept the latter bc of their feelings and there's more of a commitment especially if they have a family together) but tbh in many cases women prioritise & center their maIe friends over female friends. Some get an ego boost feeling "cool" enough or special to hang out with the boys platonically - which would come with a level of tolerating misogyny in spaces. Some would take so much crap from maIe friends & sweep it under the rug as a joke but drop their female friends for much less.

I dont recommend or have maIe friends because over 9/10 times these maIes are just tryna hit & maIes say this themselves. Many of them say they wouldn't be friends with women they find unattractive because at the end of the day they aren't actually womens friends in the first place. They dont care about you or what you do they're just tryna fuck. As many of us know, maIes will do ANYthing to have sex with a woman they want. They'll go to all sorts of measures & that includes pretending to be a friend until they can have sex w/ you or slide in how they like + want a relationship with you. Being friends with maIes just gives them a door to you like that. I used to have maIe friends long before even deciding to never date or reproduce & they were like this.

MaIes generally dont respect women & just see them as sex objects so they dont care for women as people let alone wanting to be their 'friend'. Sometimes it may appear like being friends with maIes is easier especially if you're neurodivergent but like I said before maIes will do anything with the hope of getting into bed so they'll keep up the act long enough until they get what they want. I've seen many stories of women being at vulnerable points in their lives who confided to their maIe friends & the maIe used it as an opportunity to pursue them sexually/romantically; it's so predatory. MaIes came up with the term "friendzone" bc they dont actually want to be womens friends; they dont like women, they just wanna have sex or a relationship then dip but it's women who'll be like "actually men & women can be just friends 🥰". This video (& the comments) shows the stark difference between maIes & womens take on whether they can be just friends with the opposite sex. Women see maIes personhood so they can still befriend maIes they aren't attracted to but it doesn't work the other way around. Personally I think womens yearn for having maIe friends is also rooted in this, they lowkey want their personhood affirmed by maIes but time & time again they're shown this is not the case. MaIes get agitated at their female partners having maIe friends bc "they know how men think", they know those maIes are likely just waiting for an opening to pursue the woman.

Yeah it's hard to make friends with women irl especially when you're not maIe centric or engage in gender conforming femininity rituals but I still think when you find quality female friendships - they're worth it. I dont see the need for maIe friends at the end of the day, they're just a distraction. There's nothing I cant get from them that I wouldn't be able to get from myself, other women, maIe acquaintances, or the internet. I dont feel like I'm missing anything by this either. Also maIe friends can be just as messy, petty, and two faced as women. As you start this lifestyle I definitely suggest not making any new maIe friends.

[hastyprovocateur]

Another Analysis on Mizu×Akemi

(Because there can never be enough)

l gotta admit it... the show was very ambiguous as to which character ends up with who and under what circumstances they're going to like each other. A lot of people see Taigen and Mizu because Mizu's sexuality, atleast in regards to liking men, is confirmed. She did feel attracted to her husband when she was married and she does associate some strong feelings with Taigen since she imagined that heated fight moment in the brothel when Kaji showed her the threesome. Then again... it's a threesome so there's allusion but no absolutes so far.

As for Mizu and Akemi, even if the two women could move in a romantic direction, they were too tied up in their own shit. Mizu was preoccupied with her revenge which is why she gave Akemi up in ep5 and Akemi couldn't see past her marriage with Taigen not because she thought he was a great guy but because he was the best option. He was close to home and not an entire brute as far as she knew. And then she didn't have a choice in marrying Taka either who turned out to be decent but no man warrants undying love just for being half human.

Needless to say, Akemi was dealing with her own shit. Mizu had Fowler to kill and there was little allusion to romance even if there are strong feelings between the two. Akemi, still, had to mean something for Mizu to flash back the first time their eyes met on the bridge when she was close to dead. As well as the addition of Akemi's knife to her blade. Likewise, Akemi claimed to have searched the onryo's eyes for love. But that's it as far as proof of feelings go. Nothing more Nothing less.

Coming to Mizu, even if her feelings were involved somewhere between Taigen and Akemi, she didn't didn't intervene in ep 8 and set the record straight by setting Akemi free, sending Taigen after her so they can be together and then leaving Ringo with Master Eiji. I was convinced that Akemi was gonna run into Taigen's arms after finding her newfound freedom but I was impressed when she chose greatness instead.

As for Mizu's revenge, she deliberately embarked to London alone. As far as she knows, everyone is better off without her but we see quite evidently that after Mizu's intervention nothing is going to be the same again. This doesn't show that she doesn't care, she does to the extent of resolving everything so they can be happy, but for the sake of her revenge, it is understood that Mizu doesn't want to get distracted from her focus or have a loved one get injured because of her path.

NOW... everything else is speculation. It's anyone's guess so I'll try my hand at it. I'm thinking of the bigger picture here and no revenge story ends in revenge right? It ends with love. And Mizu won't be paired up with a Londoner I'm sure, because her story has to wind back to Japan, where she started.

So who could she end up with? Ringo is her best friend and confidante but the writing focuses greatly on their platonic bond. There is allusion to more with Taigen, who is her childhood bully turned blood brother granted he's not major of a character, the writers downplayed him themselves by not giving him that intense of a character arc like Akemi or a whole change of absolute resolve for revenge unlike Mizu.

Writingwise, Taigen was always kinda straddling the line of liking Akemi but really not, wanting to kill Mizu but really not, wanting honour but really not, wanting happiness but really not. His end wasn't concluded beyond him getting rejected by Akemi and his and Mizu's future was not remotely indicated. If he was on the ship with her, the writers would've shown us but he's suspended midair for the time being.

If Mizu is to have a high stake romance, it... has to be with Akemi... don't you think? Taigen never posed any real threat to Mizu, he can't outclass or outsmart her, they have great camaraderie and that's when he finally decided to treat her decently and going beyond to show loyalty, trust and support for what she does. There wasn't heavy ground for him to dislike her initially either, outside of his own arrogance. It wasn't a big change of character on his part to like Mizu since he's never had sincere grounds for hating her in the first place.

Even if Taigen improves his character in the following season, I can't see Mizu and Taigen being balanced and opposed enough for the two to willingly choose the other against the odds as opposed to falling in love due to convenient proximity. Taigen, I'm sorry to say, seems to blow with the wind and doesn't have much determination for pursuits as far as the writing goes. Pairing that with Mizu's iron will creates dissonance. If Mizu chooses love, it would be against the ODDS of all her other pursuits.

Her rage. Her revenge. Her agony.

And that, I only see matched in Akemi.

Only Akemi could go against her grain as much as Mizu to actually fall in love.

Akemi isn't in love with the Shogun's son, but has accepted him as a means to her pursuit for greatness for the purpose of which Takayoshi is a decent man who is likely to not try and subdue her. I'd go so far to say Akemi has rejected love as a means to survive and is bent on acquiring power to ensure her success so that no harm comes her way because. Just like Mizu, she once fought for love only to get betrayed by it.

Seki brought the Shogun's proposal to Daichi because he'd decided on Akemi's behalf that "Im only doing what's right for you." Taigen put his honour above ensuring that Akemi is not displaced in his absence, Akemi's father had all intentions of carting her off as a commodity to the Shogun's for his own political schemes, telling her that she's "not the hero of his family." And Mizu... also doomed Akemi in the hubris of thinking "She's better off."

In Kaji's words- "You stood by as the guards dragged her away screaming." Akemi doesn't see Mizu as trustworthy anymore, any overture for friendship or romance will take a lot from her end because from Akemi's perspective, she rode back captive on horseback with strange men, coming to terms with that fact that her agency will now be ripped away, her teeth blackened as an accessory to visually appeal to her new family and she'll be forced into her new husband's quarters to commit her "wifely duties." Takayoshi not being a brute was an exeption to the rule and for which Akemi is greatly lucky which makes sense why she's decided to stick by her new means and to work within them.

Circling back to stories... just as all revenge stories end with the prevalence of love so do all stories of greatness. Akemi and Mizu both deserve to be loved and it is evident because that's all they wanted initially. A simple house on the edge of nowhere, a life unremarkable and staid. Filled only by love and the company of two. For both Mizu and Akemi, this dream of love only brought crushing pain, it cemented them into paths where they want anything but love. Mizu in her descent for revenge and Akemi on her ascent to power. Their middle ground is love which they will have to fight towards if they ever decide to meet halfway but god... it would be a glorious fight.

In a future season... if a certain someone... fell in love enough to give up... power... and a certain someone fell in love enough to give up revenge. If the red eyed princess... decided to run away with the blue eyed samurai... in that, I will find peace...

[aro-bird]

I do have to say, as someone on the camp of "you could probably ship someone else who isn't non-partnering but honestly I don't care as long as you don't harass people over this", I think it's lost on some people that the reason why so many non-partnering aroaces may become defensive over these characters even if "it's just fandom" is the fact that a lot of aroaces who do fit these stereotypes and who may fall into this camp genuinely had horrible experiences about their social circles and yes, especially this fandom site, harassing them and saying they don't exist or that they're mentally ill and should "get fixed" among other things.

As common it is to see aspecs here on Tumblr, the queer social media site, you need to understand that there's still a lot of contempt for aroaces outside and inside this place. Hell, I received an ask calling aros and aces delusional just last Christmas Day 2023 that came with a wave of increased arophobia around that time. As much as that time period was definitely discourse against aroallo men, aphobes did not cherry pick on who they're sending hate to.

Besides this, a lot of non-partnering aroaces often receive this kind of dismissal in real life too and as much as some people may think it's not a big deal, it definitely fucks up your brain when people say you and your experiences not only don't matter but you are doomed to live a lonely and miserable life if you don't find someone. Even my otherwise very supportive relatives expressed this concern and it's absolutely out of care but it's fucking damaging to constantly hear that I will die alone if I don't find a partner (romantic, platonic, or otherwise).

This is besides dismissals like this or even non-acceptance had literally barred me from mental health care when I was a teenager because my specialist said I had a "distressed sexuality" and had specialists focused on that aspect rather than all my other issues.

The shipping of a non-partnering (typically romance repulsed or uninterested) character feels like another form of dismissal for someone like me, like my sexuality is not good enough or serious enough to be respected. The shipping of these characters sometimes reinforce the narrative that non-partnering aroace people can't find happiness on their own and do need someone (romantic, platonic, or otherwise) to be happy or they will become happier if they do find this someone. People are having fun with their ships but there are still many people who don't want to spend the time actually extending grace and understanding towards me and my experiences. I'm just another discourse topic and someone who's inconvenient to some of them.

This doesn't even account for how these fan communities aren't just filled with aspec people and do extend to allos who may take some of the discourse and actively apply it in real life to other real life aspec people. People who go and interact with real human beings and may hurt them or harass them. It isn't even accounting for the fact that even online things affect real people too.

Of course, I do understand that a lot more complex aspec identities often don't get the spotlight so they may express themselves through shipping fandom characters but non-partnering people should deserve more than these people isn't really the point of this post.

The point here is that there's a reason why a lot of non-partnering (typically repulsed or uninterested) aroace people get defensive about these things even in fan communities and it's very likely that it's because aphobia and especially against the stereotypical aroace™ still very much exist outside of our little community and they can be informed by media and the fans that consume it and this shit could genuinely have negative consequences. This of course extends to those who do have complex aspec identities as society does not treat those who don't live up to what is expected as "normal" in terms of romantic relationships and sexual attraction kindly.

Distancing yourself from these aroaces who do have frustrations with how media and fandom treat their sexuality because they're being "prudes" or are just affected by "purity culture" is unhelpful to say the least and honestly veers eerily close to shit I hear aphobes say about us.

Absolutely do stop people and block them if they're instigating and participating in harassment over shipping of all things, even these aroaces, but trying to say that every person who do have issues with shipping aroace characters are the same way with this is extremely lacking nuance and absolutely dismissive of other members of the community and why they may have the opinion they hold.

[discobiscotto]

Just Guys Bein’ Dudes: A Needlessly Huge TED-Talk About Luca & Alberto’s Relationship

Ready for some big-brain BS?

Well, ready or not, here’s a “little” dive into how I interpret/perceive Luca and Alberto’s relationship.

Note: I’m referring to them as my own headcanon versions of them as men. It can certainly be applied to them as young adults and teens for sure, but I’m diving into ‘Ciao Luca’ territory specifically. So, there, just being clear on the who’s who.

What’s their deal anyhow?

Are they romantic partners? Are they attracted to eachother, yanno 👉🏻👈🏻? Buddies? Buddies with benefits? Are they even a couple? Are they husbands? What’s their deal?

So, a couple years ago when I was starting to get really busy with the headcanons, I went on a tear about their relationship to lay down some kind of clear foundation for it. I felt alittle conflicted at the time about how their relationship was going to feel/act like.

To me, because I love ambiguity, I wanted to keep that energy going from the original source material…but with alittle “oomph”…considering there’s been time and maturity tacked on. They can’t just be Pallin’ Around forever, something’s gotta give with chemistry that strong imo.

If I’m being honest, them being point-blank romantic partners felt too cliched and predictable/boring. Courtship, wooing, marriage…snore. It just didn’t feel like ‘them’ to me. It bordered heteronormative somehow. I was just …PUTTING MYSELF TO SLEEP.

Not to say they aren’t romantic, because they certainly are in their own right! It just isn’t the defining Vibe of their relationship.

As a queer lady with a pretty open mind in terms of what defines a relationship and/or bond, I believe that love expression is on a spectrum. Different strokes for different folks, yanno?

I scooted myself over to that old filing cabinet in my brain with random Greek Philosophy tid-bits (that I was impressed wasn’t put thru the incinerator) and I got polishing.

I remembered a few terms, like storge (family love), Eros: romantic, mania: obsessive/stalkerish love, agape, philia, the list goes on.

We’re gonna focus on PHILIA, typically deemed affectionate and/or “brotherly love”, I think also falls under platonic love.

We’re going to come back to this later☝🏻☝🏻☝🏻☝🏻☝🏻☝🏻☝🏻☝🏻

As a couple of seamonsters (first and foremost) the human concept of love may not necessarily compute to them. Not that they get confused or turn their nose up at it, but rather it’s more boxed-in and rigid than, I guess, fish love? Haha.

Example: homosexuality, bisexuality, and heterosexuality as concepts are human inventions to help humans navigate their life and their identity in the world, be part of a tribe, and potentially find mates.

They’re social constructs, like gender conformity, and Mondays.

Seamonsters really don’t have that. They’re similar to humans in alot of ways, but in terms of attraction, love, and social awareness, they just kindof ride the wave and go where the current takes them.

Opposite sex pairings likely happen more often because [gestures] instincts and Makin’ Fries. But just like humans, same sex relationships happen just as much!…but seamonsters have no concept of homophobia (strictly a human invention) so there’s no discouragement or imposed fear of the relationship…it just happens if it’s meant to and the world keeps spinning. [deep sighs]

Luca and Alberto are aware of human society and customs (especially now that they’ve been living amongst them for atleast 15 years). So, they still try to do-as-the-humans-do sometimes. They know that they feel a strong bond to eachother that can’t be ignored, and when humans sense a similar bond between each other they express it by being physically intimate, or giving gifts, or creating things for eachother, etc.

So, basically, it boils down to “I love my friend, so I wish to express that love for him like that [gesture].”

Now bringing it back to Philia up there!👆🏻

That particular source defines philia as brotherly love, both must be men (in the Greek system), they respect and take pleasure in eachother’s company, bond through exploring philosophical truths, and sexual intimacy or attraction is optional.

This other source takes it a bit further saying that we could be diving into “friends to lovers” territory which is the aforementioned “oomph” I was referring to. The bridge into Eros stuff without being completely rooted there (ie your usual romantic pair).

Their relationship isn’t based on physical attraction, but began as a close friendship that progressed into something more. Not built on lust, but on mutual affection and respect for eachother.

They are an “unlikely” pair. Where a hockey hug became alittle tighter, and the joined hands in a good old “Piacere Girolamo Trombetta” started to linger.

They feel safe with eachother, they love and prefer eachother’s company, they share eachother’s worlds and feel deeply connected in them. Alberto cooks meals for them because he loves Luca, and Luca gives Alberto [SPOILER] because he loves him back.

They share a “I can’t quite put my finger on it but I feel safe, warm, and happy with you, I enjoy your company and what we have, I love the feeling of you being close to me, exchanging warmth and heartbeats, and I feel like this is more than going out on dates or ‘picking out curtains’.” kind of thing.

They’re roommates who kiss and “play house”. They are in love…but express it in their own unique way. They are openly affectionate. They keep people guessing, they confuse the neighbors, they have an “inside joke”.

Alberto lays on the housewife schtick: straightening Luca’s tie and sending him on his way with a packed lunch.

They call eachother heteronormative terms of endearment, mostly to be cheeky. Sarcastic “Honey” or “Dear” followed by someone affectionately ending up in a headlock.

They love to play with the human version of “married life”, little do they realize they’ve grown genuinely accustomed to it.

They’re queer but have no name and nowhere they’d rather be except each other’s arms (that one place that makes perfect sense).

They aren’t married…they never can get married…but that doesn’t stop them from sharing their homes, their beds, and a last name written on their Christmas cards.

In conclusion, humans say they’re gay.

The Paguro’s say “They built a farm together.”

SOURCES:

[mamamittens]

Hi would it be alright if I asked for hcs on yandere Luffy ? Maybe he gets attached to kuja reader for the last 2 years he’s been training ? (It’s very rare to find kuja tribe reader content XD)

if that’s ok with you 💗 I’m fine with platonic or romantic as long as your comfortable if this request makes you uncomfortable you can delete this no worries ^^ hope your doing ok !! And drinking plenty of water !

Well, I don't see Luffy capitalizing on your naivete about men. He's pretty good at ignoring that sort of thing, though there are a few hints in canon that he does, in fact, have perverted tendencies. Mainly looking at Nami and looking away before she notices. So either he knows better than to stare or knows better than to stare at her.

But that doesn't mean he'd tolerate you getting curious about other guys. Any questions you have, he can answer! And anything he can't answer, well, Chopper probably knows lol (unless it's a sex thing, in which case Sanji probably has a better idea, but leave the asking to Luffy).

He's a weirdly... Loose? Yandere? Like, he wants you to have your dreams and go out and put yourself out there. He may even tolerate it being away from him for a while. Perhaps not as long as the rest of his crew, but still! He wouldn't mind you having your own little adventure! Just be sure to come back and tell him all about it!

If you don't... Well, it better be because of someone interfering. He's used to handling that. That's not too strange! Though he won't be very tolerant about it, that's a 'them' problem. You don't need to worry, just let him handle this and then you can tell him about the fun you had!

If it's romantic in nature, he's going to be really damn fussy about any interference. In terms of him being platonic and someone trying to romance you, it depends on how you like them and if he likes them. Another crew mate isn't too bad, after all! And it's good that there's another person looking out for you! But if he hates them (doesn't pass the vibe check, is mean, or anything like that) he's going to rock their shit in short order.

Way worse if he's romantically attatched to you. He gets the attraction to you! But no. Not allowed. He won't share. He doesn't share his meat. He doesn't share his crew. He won't be sharing you. If you're attracted, well, you won't be seeing them for much longer. He'll either drag your attention back or get rid of the competition. With the way his luck goes, they're bad news anyhow just trying to work in close to pull some shit.

It's harder if he likes the rival, but that just means he works overtime to prove how much better he is and keep your eyes on him.

Deep in his heart, it's very important you choose him. Him. And he'll move mountains to make sure of it.

[sardonic-the-writer]

You van now marry me because I am interested in your tf2 headcanons

Tell me more please

so happy someone asked for this. giving your forhead a big fat smooch. also, i would habe included tracker in these, but i feel like that would have been a bit self pretentious

scout

• good artist. has drawn tom jones fanart before

• knows a little bit of french; his mom made him learn. also knows a few french songs because of this

• bisexual but battles with it a lot

• really appreciates his teammates and conciders all of them—except for maybe spy—to be his best friends

• terrified of medical procedures and terrible at hiding it

soldier

• brightest blue eyes you've ever seen

• wears underwear with the pattern of the american flag on them

• doesn't know it's not normal to have gay thoughts. literally would kiss a man sloppy style and then not understand why everyones looking at him. probably straight, but makes exceptions

• has had his hands cut off at least five times before. it's getting concerning at this point

pryo

• uses asl with their team and teaches those who don't know. they'll still use muffled sounds to communicate though

• has no gender actually. not trans, not cis, but a secret third thing

• aroace! latches so strongly onto platonic relationships though its actually insane

• attends bonfires with enigneer sometimes

• has a pair of onsie pajamas that they wear over their suit to bed at night

heavy

• is definitely in love with medic, no doubts to be had

• has a PHD in russian literature! a very smart fella, he just has trouble speaking his mind in english

• gay. so so gay. mlm all day

• the only merc to regularly check out books from teuforts library sans soldier. although he doesn't really check out books, he just yells at the librarian for not carrying sun tzu's the art of war

• sings little songs to sasha in russian

demomam

• has scars all over his chest from an accident with a grenade he had as a kid

• sends lots of post cards and souvenirs to his mom when he's on the job. he really loves her

• actually used to style his hair in dreads when he was a little bit younger, but just doesn't have time to do much with his hair anymore

• so casually bisexual; especially considering it's the sixties and seventies. takes interest in both men and women

• best friends with both his and the other teams soldier!

sniper

• his camper is such a mess all of the time. only ever cleans if he knows someone's going to be visiting, and even then there's a few stray piss bottles laying around

• plays poker & other card games with scout all the time. when they can't bet money, they'll end up using other things to play, like bullets or stray snacks

• thinks he likes both men and women. tries not to dwell on it too much since he gets anxious about it, but at the end of the day can't deny that he finds men attractive as well

• has a mug that says world's number one best sniper that miss pauling got him

engineer

• shortest mercenary r.i.p

• parental figure to pyro

• one of the only good cooks at the base. often ends up making dinner for everyone even if it's someone else's turn to cook that night

• has a prosthetic arm that he built from scratch & spends a lot of his time adding to/upgrading

• probably straight, but the biggest ally you'd ever meet

spy

• genderfluid. has a few lady disguises he's had to use before, and is just as comfortable in them as any other one of his disguises. definitely had gay sex with scouts mom before

• reverts to straight french when he gets irritated or upset

• heavily bisexual and very open about it with any of his partners. a man/womanizer

• the only merc with a sense of fashion to be frank. have you seen everyone else. soldier thinks being naked and covered in honey is the epitome of fashion for fucks sake

medic

• probably knows more about the medical field than any other doctor at the time. is actively dropping some medical talk & procedures that won't even be invented until a few decades later. he's fun like that

• owns one pair of regular clothes. everything else is lab coats and black pants. maybe a turtleneck or two if you're lucky

• super mega über gay for heavy. see what i did there

• also, i'd like to headcanon that he needs glasses because he's nearsighted of all things. it makes performing surgery hard without them

[eddiediazismyhusband]

i really want a fic of eddie realising him and buck have been falling in love the entire time.

I keep seeing posts (and even had someone tell me) that it’d be unrealistic for Eddie to be in love with Buck and not realise. Like not even think of him as an option. 

But that’s such a real queer person thing- i’ve lived that experience. I’m a women and despite all the times I admired other women it took forever for it to click for me.

I mean I grew up with accepting parents and kind friends and even queer people on tv. I remember looking at girls as much as I looked at boys. And yet I still had the reoccurring thought “I could be gay, I mean i’m not- but I could be. But most people aren’t gay and i’m most people”. (gay being used here in my head to mean “not straight”) AND YET despite it all I didn’t realise i was Bi until I was much older.

And even then, I’d had at least two long term crushes without realising they were crushes before it clicked. 

(I kid you not- it took a drag queen talking to me like i was a toddler for it to click, but that’s a whole other story SO-) 

Whether or not Eddie already knows he’s gay (or demi or whatever) doesn’t really make a difference, cause it’s that same sort of heteronormative internalising that causes these feeling to not be understood. 

Especially for Eddies character who’s had this messy norm with Shannon for so long, a stable thing to grasp (even when their relationship was a mess) and then her death and him chasing to find that weak grasp to SOMETHING again- something that can be another excuse to not go looking for himself. 

Like he’s internalised this behaviour of, “if i’m in a relationship, I don’t have to look deep and figure out why it’s not working” and never quite realising that maybe the reason it’s not working is cause he’s trying to replace something that was never really real.

(Speaking of, Eddie and Shannon are the epitome of loml by taylor swift. I mean- “we were just kids babe” “from one kiss to getting married” “something counterfeits dead” “what a valiant roar, what a bland goodbye” “i’m combing through the band of lies- “i’ll never leave” never mind”) 

babe you are speaking to the POSTER CHILD of raised in a religious household and convinced themselves they weren’t queer until it was staring them in the face

the biggest issue is that most (again i said most before yall try to jump down my throat) of the people who are against buddie are either straight people who don’t understand the nuances of queerness, or queer people who didn’t grow up in environments of oppression and have never felt the need to hide themselves

i used to tell my parents i had crushes on girls only to later realize that it was because i just had a genuine platonic connection with them (two of whom are my best friends and are also queer women) and i used to get confused about what the difference between attraction and admiration was— something a LOT of queer people go through without realizing.

comphet is literally such a widespread phenomenon that people truly don’t realize just how common it is— like even queer people don’t realize they probably know several “straight” people who are still lying to themselves bc sexuality isn’t black and white— it exists on a spectrum. I’m not saying that to invalidate anyone’s straightness, im just saying i know multiple men who are my dads age (60s +) who only recently came to the realization that they were gay.

it’s genuinely so disappointing to see some of the people in this fandom pushing homophobic talking points from history just to disprove a character’s implied queerness bc they view that character’s queerness as a threat to their ship.

anyway, i agree eddie and shannon’s relationship is soooooo unconscious lavender marriage coded to me and there are SO MANY beautiful TS lyrics that apply to that… another song that i really feel like captures Eddie’s pov of the relationship is Home by One Direction… especially these lyrics:

[ghost-bison]

Trigger Warning: mentions of catcalling and cis het men, light mentions of sex

When you're a woman, there's always cis het men (I've never been hit on in the street by a trans person or a cis woman) bothering you in the street because they find you hot. I say "bothering you" because it's never just: they ask for your insta or number, you say no, and they leave, it's almost always: disrespectful, and even when they act nice, you end up having to lie and say you've got a boyfriend to be able to get them off your back, because god forbid you just aren't attracted to them, right? Why wouldn't you be? They're mister nice guy! They're so hot and sexy (a real Wonder they still haven't gotten themselves a girlfriend...), right?

Anyway, so I don't know if other ace/aros will relate to the next part, but being ace myself, those interactions with the cis het men I just talked about become more than mere interactions: they ruin my entire day. It's like a virus spreading inside of me until I can't think of anything else, because those men get in your face and even though they might not seem like they're physically not letting you leave, they totally are. They make you uncomfortable and they don't care.

I don't have sexual trauma, I'm just ace cause I am and that's all, but it makes physical intimacy (sensual touch, platonic hugs, or even pleasuring someone without feeling the need to receive cause that's kind of my thing I believe) really hard and uncomfortable.

It took me years to be able to just hug my high school bff. We're both girls and I'm bi and sometimes there's the fear that knowing that you're not heterosexual, your friends will have trouble being platonically intimate with you cause they'd think you're into them. She's not like that, at all, but it doesn't even matter.

Now we hug all the time, we even massage each other's scalp when we're drunk and get all corny and shit. But it took me YEARS. I can't have that with anyone else. Because being ace for me, isn't just about not wanting sex. It affects my life in so many other ways that I didn't get before, makes me more sensitive to certain verbal or physical interactions and some people really don't make it any easier.