#or maybe u know. ghosts of the past in time and space. who knows. truly who knows whats happening

[kittysawat]

4 minutes episode 4 spoilers under

the big reveal at the end of episode 4 tho....... like i had thought dome was tonkla's brother from the start and this was a case of reality getting broken + two separate timelines, but getting the sibling relation confirmed is actually making everything more complicated in my head

if what we're seeing is great's memories as he's dying of cardiac arrest, like many ppl have theorized (and like so many things point out), then how is the choice be made of saving dome affecting tonkla...... perceived his dead brother in the same fashion as the cat that died years ago is such a cool detail.

whatever is actually happening, it seems like its more complicated than a simple this is time traveling or these are memories of someone dying. and its definitely not only affecting great

[coalitiongirl]

Fic Recs (under 300 edition)

So I wanted to get back to reading Swan Queen fic regularly, and I asked people to rec longfic that they'd read (not written) and loved that had fewer than 300 kudos! I haven’t read most of these, but I’ve collected them here so y’all can go through the list and discover some new fics with me! Please try to kudos and review every fic that you read! It means the world to the writers and will keep em writing, and then we all win. 😁

Atonement by SgtMac (M): With Regina's magical heart failing thanks to years of previous evil, Emma and Regina and Henry (and Granny!) set out to save her life by traveling to the Enchanted Forest and requesting help from ancient magical beings known as the Guardians. Given a mission as simple as it is impossible - to achieve atonement by creating peace - the ladies find themselves joining a rebellion and fighting for the very soul of the Enchanted Forest all while trying to help Regina to understand that the self-loathing and guilt which have driven most of her actions don't have to doom her chance for a new beginning or even, a chance to live and love again. A S4(ish) SQ love story set against the turmoil of war and the chaotic savagery of the old world.

Blood and Sand by cheshire6845 (E): A/U The Savior is a slave forced into the role of fighting as a gladiator for the House of Hearts. The odds are against her survival as she will have to win in the arena, navigate Cora's schemes, outlast a general's vengeance, and not be killed out of spite by the current House of Hearts Champion - Regina the Undefeated. This story follows the major plot points of Starz Spartacus with some twists along the way.

But what if there was no time by KizuRai (M): When she wakes up, it's dark. She can't move, she can't see, she can't feel and she can't hear. Where am I? She feels a forceful oppression, pressing her down, draining her of her energy and she's powerless to stop it. How did I get here? The question of here is relative, she's not even sure where here is. What happened? There must be some reason for being stuck here but her memory is fuzzy, like all her thoughts are being sifted through a filter. Who am I? She's not sure if she actually exists or she suddenly became sentient in the darkness.She hears a voice reverberating in the distance, it's distorted and quiet but she hears it all the same. It breaks the monotony of the silence. Someone's coming for her, they will get her out. She's just not sure she wants them to as the price might be too great.

Finding Home by evl_rgl (T): “I wanted to remember you so badly that I pulled back your cursed town just so that the memories would make sense. I needed you so badly that even when I had no memory of you, I still tried to find you.” Regina gave Emma and Henry memories of a happy life together before they fled Pan’s curse, leaving them with no memories of their lives in Storybrooke. However, when the memory spell shows signs of failing, threatening to rip apart the minds of both Emma and Henry, Regina makes a drastic choice to go back and fix it, understanding that it will mean living alone in a world where her son doesn’t know her. Was the spell really faulty, though? (swanqueen)

Five Flames by MariaComet (U): In the past, Emma Nolan disconnected from her peers in high school, preferring to keep to herself. In her sophomore year of high school, she decided to try and join the boy’s wrestling team because she was bored. She didn’t expect herself to become the champion of the most bullied kid in school or the secret best friend of the school queen. She also didn’t expect to join a club that would change her life. In the present, Emma is trying to cope with a humiliating loss in her martial arts career. She claims to be “training” but is stuck in limbo between wanting to retire and try again. She is isolated from her former best friend, Regina Mills, a local celebrity chef and the rest of her old friends. When one of them calls her with an idea to honor their deceased teacher, she is confronted with unresolved feelings and questions about how powerful love truly is.

A Glamour of Truth by PrincessCharming (T): After 2x10, Regina uses magic to show Emma the obvious truth. A tentative trust forms between them amid hilarious bickering. With Emma's help, Regina struggles to regain a place in her son's life... until Cora arrives, wanting her daughter back. Pieces of Regina's past emerge showing that the board was set long before the game started. The final battle begins soon.

His Dark Materials 'verse by MoonlitMidnight (M): A modern Alternate Universe in which Dæmons (the external physical manifestation of a person's 'inner self' that takes the form of an animal) are present. In which Emma and Regina have led slightly different lives and they make slightly different choices.

How Many Miles to Avalon? (WIP) by RavenOutlander (E): Regina would do anything to save Emma from the darkness and bring her back home safe and sound. Even put up with the two idiots, Captain Guyliner and a bunch of dwarves she decidedly wanted to drop off at the nearest exit. But in their search for Emma, they find that she might not need that much saving after all. Caught up in a search for the infamous Philosopher Stone, an all out war between DunBroch and Camelot, and ghosts from the past to haunt her every waking moment, Regina finds herself scrambling to keep her and her family's happy endings from falling apart.

The Hyperion by FrankenSpine (M): After wishing upon what she believes is a shooting star, Emma Swan finds herself aboard the Hyperion, the royal starship of an alien Queen from a faraway galaxy. She quickly learns of the tensions between the Queen's people and her own, but the Queen takes an interest in her and agrees to take her away from Earth forever. Adventure awaits. *(Loosely based on Guardians of the Galaxy with just a hint of Farscape)*

If Wishes Came True (It Would've Been You) by Angeii_K (M): After Regina films a guest appearance on her friend Neal’s popular show, he invites her to spend the weekend with him and his girlfriend. What she never expected was to actually like the woman. Sparks fly between the two, which results in them questioning everything and making choices they will later regret. 4 years later, they meet again in the most unexpected of ways. Now co-stars on the same show, they are forced to work through the emotions from their last encounter. What will happen next? Only time will tell.

The King Doesn’t Have To Know (WIP) by highheelsandchocolate (M): The White Knight had never seen anyone like her before: the Queen was nothing short of mesmerizing. Her possessive yet neglectful husband, however, was another thing entirely.

The Lich by Dangereaux (M): Gay disaster Emma, exasperated Regina, and a monster. A Halloween special.

Maybe if We Close Our Eyes we Can Reach the Stars by wellthizizdeprezzing (T): Emma is a lonely astronaut. Regina is an adventuring alien. Their paths cross leading them onto a journey of new discovery. Between galaxies and many miles of cold black space, despite not speaking the same language, they manage to fall for each other. An out of this world love story.

A prisoner long forgotten by sugarsweet_19 (M): ‘I wish I had a child as white as snow, as red as blood and as black as the wood of the window-frame. Soon after she had a little girl, who was as white as snow, with lips as red as blood and with her hair as black as the ebony of the window-frame. She was therefore called Snow-white.” This is how our story starts but how will it end?The evil queen as been locked up in a tower and forgotten that is until princess Emma looks for a place to hid from her parents after they tell her she has to marry Neal the son of the dark one.

Revenge of the Three Little Pigs by mskyo (M): Regina and Emma find themselves alone and looking for the rest of their party. The Evil Queen must face the consequences of her past actions. Will Emma come to her aid, or understand that justice must be served... *Some chapters have fairly graphic sex, and violence*

Things I Almost Remember by cheshire6845 (T): A/U Despite an oncoming war between the Dark and the Light, Emma and Regina are best friends growing up in the Enchanted Forest. When war does come, they find themselves on opposite sides. Regina will have to defy her mother to save Emma. Will Emma be able to save Regina when Cora curses her daughter to live in the Land without Magic?

What We Make (WIP) by DiazTuna (M): “My mother.” He says calmly. He’d known all along, she’s aware. But he’d known that today would be the day that would get this going. She wants to ask what it was like, to have woken up this morning, laced up his boots and walked into hell just knowing. “It’s programmed the cyborg to kill her. Before I have a chance to be born.” -In which the leader of the future sends his best soldier back to the past to save his mother from a killer cyborg. Terminator AU.

The Wrong Way by pcworth (M): Takes place right after Zelena steals Regina's heart. Zelena offers Regina a chance to go back in time with her and change both of their lives for the better. But what will be the price of that decision. Slow-burn to SwanQueen

zombie trash by 13pens (T): Zelena could have her brain and eat it, too. Fic operates on three premises 1. this takes place in any universe where zelena is a reformed asshole 2. zombies are a thing and exist iZombie style 3. i have NO chill

[lilevixen]

heyyy, idk if u write bertholdt or are even taking requests, but if u are can i request giving bertholdt an orgasm denial from a f!reader and it’s been like 3 hours that he’s had to hold it? thanks if u can :)

sweet boy

Characters: sub!Bertholdt Hoover x dom!female bodied reader

Genre: smut

Word Count: 1.9k

Description: Reader teaches Bertholdt a lesson after he gets a bit too touchy with them in front of their friends

•WARNING- 18+ CONTENT: orgasm denial, no-contact orgasm, descriptions of oral sex (male receiving), dacryphilia(ish?)•

“Baby, please, I said I was s-sorry!” Bertholdt whined from across the room for what felt like the millionth time that evening. You casted a look of faux boredom over your shoulder from your small wooden desk, trying your best to remain blasé at the mouth-watering sight of your boyfriend still sat criss-cross applesauce completely bare on the bed. He was so good for you, so obedient; his arms never once left from behind his back for entirety of the time you had him there. How long did you have him there? After you two got back from the dining hall, minutes easily spilled into hours in the smudgy haze of repressed lust you had established. The only indicator of how long Berthodlt had been sitting there for, cock upright and twitching for attention, was how absolutely worn out he looked. Every inch of his deep, tan skin was glittering with sweat, cords of muscle in his thighs and abdomen strained beneath his flesh so severely they looked like they could snap any second, his chest heaved erratically as if he had just run a marathon- this was absolute torture for him, you could tell. You would’ve felt bad, if he hadn’t disobeyed you in the first place.

“Huh? I was reading, sweetie. I didn’t hear you,” a bald-faced lie on your part. Your eyes kept tracking over the same paragraph over and over again without absorbing any of the information in your brain, the sweet pleas of your boyfriend claiming all the space in your mind instead. His lip quivered at your persistence in feigning ignorance of his situation and tears quickly filled his dark eyes.

“P-Please! Can you please t-touch me? I need you so bad I think I might e-explode,” he stammered out, his voice meek but desperate, shameless, so needy and you felt it throb between your legs, adding to the arousal already collecting along your inner thighs. Despite how incredibly turned on you were, you let out a slow sigh hiss past your lips as if you were getting irritated.

“Well, you��got to touch me plenty, sweets. In front of everyone, just like I asked you not to,” excitement overtook your annoyance some time ago, but what you brought up was a genuine point of contention. From the very beginning you made it clear you wanted your relationship to be private. It wasn’t that you were ashamed of him or anything, you just hated all the unnecessary attention couples garnered, all the mindless gossip and speculation of who plays what role, the whispers, the stares. And once Bertholdt had gotten comfortable with you, always seeking your touch like a love sick little puppy, you knew this was something that needed to be discussed. He agreed at the time, ‘if it means I get to be with you, I guess it’s okay,’ he said, but as things progressed he would give away your relationship in little ways. At first it was just the way he would look at you (which was only natural given your feeling for each other, you supposed), staring at your lips for a little too long when you spoke, a little twinkle of fondness in his warm eyes. You let this slide, because it was minimal and no one seemed to notice. But slowly, he started doing more and more things that you had to call him out on, resting his head on your shoulder, using his thumb to tenderly swipe crumbs of food off your face, nearly calling you baby- until finally, tonight in the dining hall while having supper with your friends, he practically announced you two were together by kissing your hand when you burnt it on a scalding bowl of soup. Porco was too involved with his food to notice, but you could feel Reiner and Annie’s eyes hovering over you as if you were an alien. Too embarrassed to handle their reactions, you excused yourself to your room and quickly left before they even had a chance to say anything, Bertholdt obviously right on your heels. He tried to embrace you and kiss you and apologize to make it all better, but his penchant for physical affection was what got you in this situation in the first place. So that’s when you decided to give him a little time-out. Even though, your edge was starting to wear down after hearing him whine out for you for so long.

“I know! I-I just don’t like seeing you get hurt! I didn’t think they were looking at us, I’m sorry Y/N!” he choked out, squirming against the air as if that would provide some sort of relief. “I’m s-so hard for you it feels like ‘m gonna pass out.”

“Oh really? And what do you want me to do about that?” You asked in a snarky tone to mask the unadulterated lust pulsing through you, going back to fake-reading your text book.

“I want you to touch me! I want to feel you, any part of you, until I cum over and over…” you could hear the thought in his voice as he got lost in what he was describing, and you didn’t need to turn around to know he was biting his lip with his head tilted back, eyes squeezed shut and brows knitted. Another hot rush of arousal swirled in deep in your stomach.

“You know I can’t do that, baby,” you said against your own body’s command.

“Y-Yes you can! I promise I’ll be good from now on, I w-won’t hold your hand or kiss you or hug you in front of anyone again! Just please, I need you Y/N,” maybe it was your own excitement, or how fucking good he sounded begging for you like a pitiful little boy, but this finally broke your resolve. It would be cruel to let him stay there like that all night, anyway. You pushed yourself out of your seat and made your way to Berthdolt’s trembling form on the bed. Even you just getting closer to him caused his heavy breathing to pick up pace.

“How do you want me, my sweet boy?” you purred, laying down flat on your stomach before his lanky body so that his dick towered above you like a skyscraper.

“A-Any way,” he looked down at you beneath his dark, fluttering lashes, swiveling his hips in anticipation of your touch. You let out a soft scoff.

“Be specific or I can’t help you~,” you said with a sweet lilt in your voice, harsh words laced with honey. His eyes blew open wide at your threat to leave him a writhing, unfulfilled mess for even longer than you already had.

“Can you take me in your mouth? Please?” A new wave of blush spread across his cheeks as he said this, and you couldn’t help but smile at how cute he was.

“There you go, baby,” you giggled. You guided your featherlight fingertips along the slick muscle of his thighs, causing him to tense up immediately, and you could actually see the thrum of his heartbeat racing beneath his skin in faint flits. He was so sensitive by now you didn’t doubt he would explode just like he said before. Your fingers playfully walked along the slope of his legs, working their way inwards, and you teased them to a gradual stop mere inches from where he needed you most. He was panting like a dog at this point, chest rising and falling violently as he looked down at you, jaw slack and eyes cloudy with frustrated tears.

“You’ve been waiting for this, huh?” You dragged your tongue along your lower lip and leaned in close to his pulsating cock so that your breath fanned across his shaft, digging your fingers into the tendons of his inner thigh. He gasped, the shock of you finally gracing him with some sort of stimulation overwhelming his worked-up body, and a throb of pleasure shot through his dick with such alarming intensity that you could see it expand in his veins and swell at the tip. You blinked up at him, a bit startled yourself. He was so close already and you barely even touched him… Maybe you didn’t even need to touch him.

“U-Uhuh!” He nodded frantically, tears now spilling down his flushed face and drool dribbling down his chin; the sight would’ve been sad if it wasn’t so fucking hot. You massaged your fingertips into the thin, sweat-slicked skin on either side of his balls and slowly moved your lips upwards so that they were ghosting the hot, leaking head of his penis. His whole body shuddered underneath you, hips eagerly twitching to meet your lips, but only mildly, timidly, making it clear he was still completely under your control.

“I bet you’ve been imagining this for so long, my lips around your cock, feeling me squeeze you in my throat,” you hummed, your lips just barely brushing his dickhead as you spoke, and to him the vibration of your voice and the warm flutters of your breath against him felt just as sensational as the euphoric grip of your walls after hours of waiting for any kind of attention. This was exactly what you suspected, what you were hoping. He was such a desperate mess that he could get off to just your words and proximity. “Can you feel it? My pretty little mouth drooling around you?”

“A-Ah! Yes!” He cried out, and his stiff cock slapped against his belly eagerly as if he was truly feeling every bit of what you were describing, hell, even you were starting to feel it from his reactions alone, the ache between your legs growing almost painful.

“Does my sweet boy want to cum down my throat?” You kept steady eye contact with him, savoring every bit of watching him crumble before you, intentionally letting your breath pour past your lips in heavy pants, and he bucked into the air with each puff, his abdomen flexed tight and his thighs shuddering.

“Ahaha y-yes please!” He whimpered, the rhythm of his hips gently rising to meet your breath becoming twitchy and unstable, a clear sign that he was on the brink of long-awaited release. A coy smile played at the ends of your lips as you batted your lashed up at him.

“Then cum for me,” and on command, his whole body convulsed under the weight of sweet, sweet climax, at long last, the hugest load you’d ever seen erupting out of him in thick, hot torrents that sprayed right in his face. You were so proud of him, your poor baby, putting up with your little act for hours on end despite yearning for you so immensely that you didn’t even need to touch his cock for him to bust. He just loved you that much and why exactly? You quite honestly didn’t know. You almost felt the need to apologize for treating him so cruelly, but at the end of the day you were trying to teach him a lesson, and based on how he was looking at you, right eye squeezed shut to prevent cum from getting in his eye, body rattling with exhaustion, it was safe to say he wouldn’t make the same mistake again. The least you could do was help him clean up. You got up on your knees and took his clammy face in your hands, gliding your tongue along his salty skin to get rid of all the cum, saliva, tears- whatever fluids were coating his face. When you were done, you pressed a kiss to his lips.

“I love you, my sweet boy.”

||

A/N:

HEYYY LOVELIESSS💓💓 here’s my first official completed request (woohoo)!!! Bertholdt is not usually a character I would accept writing but this request kinda had me GRRRR ya know (thank you for that anon, I truly hope you’ll enjoy this! This was my first time writing orgasm denial too so idk if i did it right NAKWKA)? BUTTT yeah here ya go, bloop ilyyyy

~Bunny

[limitlessgojo]

Blood Bound: Red Strings of Fate (Ch 9)

Warnings: Action, Coarse Language, Fighting, Descriptions of Blood

Previous Chapter: Red Strings of Fate

Next Chapter: Invisible Ties

Tags: Soulmates AU, Angst, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, Fem!Reader

Taglist: @lessie-oxj @rizzo-nero @whoreuc @fkngkumiko @isl3t @gojoussunglasses @onepotatostand-blog @s-t-f-u-b-i-t-c-h @sunaswife

Notes: If you want to be tagged for every update, please mention it in the comments below ty <3

Chapter 9: Wait for Me

After the mission, you got back to the Kyoto High School campus. Both of you were still a little awkward, not knowing exactly how to proceed with your relationship. Are you dating now? Not necessarily.

Noritoshi reached out to you from behind, but thought better and retracted his hand. You seemed to have zoned out for the rest of the mission, so he thought it would be better to give you a bit of space.

You both were outside your dorm room after having submitted the report about how the mission went.

You turned back to face Noritoshi, “Thank you so much for accompanying me on my first ever mission senpai. It was definitely a different experience from just sparring with other jujutsu sorcerers. I’ll do my best to improve.”

You lowered your head, but he bent his knees so he could face you, “You definitely have talent and raw power. Please be more logical in your tactical and in-fight responses next time. Thank you for protecting me.” He spoke quietly so as to not disturb the other students who are already in bed.

You smiled tightly, “Just… doing my job.”

You looked up to face him. There was something cloudy and stormy in his expression that you couldn’t quite read.

He was such a hard man to read, Kamo Noritoshi. Now that you think about it, you really don’t know much about the man who is your soulmate.

Noritoshi pulled back with his usual solemn expression. “You should go on ahead and get some rest. Good night.”

“Good night Noritoshi senpai.” You weakly called out, before going back into your room. Your heart had never pounded this hard and fast before, you were sure. You had trouble going to sleep that night, remembering the second vision you both shared.

On the other hand Noritoshi’s head was spinning by the time he got back into his room. He could still feel the ghost of the kiss from the vision and wondered how it would feel to hold you close to him like that.

◇◇◇

During the weekend, Noritoshi went back to the Kamo Clan estate and told his father of everything that had occurred between the two of you. As soon as he finished his father softly slammed down a fist on his desk out of excitement.

“It’s been how many years since the last known living pair of soulmates existed? They were so highly regarded that most pairs chose to live in complete isolation out of fear of being targeted. We need to be careful, but this is truly a blessing from the heavens.” His father smiled.

Noritoshi’s dad pushed a book towards him. “We were able to find a very old record of soulmates from our clan’s history. Kamo no Hotaru. A man who lived quietly, after eloping with his soulmate away from the Kamo clan. His partner was said to be a woman from the Abe clan. They supposedly died in battle, according to records. This happened during the rise of curses right before the Heian era.” His father spoke solemnly.

Noritoshi felt chills run up his spine upon hearing his words. “The woman’s name is unknown. But her parents were known to have not approved of her involvement with Hotaru kun. This was as written in the diary entries of Hotaru. Curses and curse users alike were drawn towards their synergy and tried to break them apart or at least kill one of them.”

“They might have survived had they stayed with their families, but they chose love above all. Back then it was not yet widely known about how soulmates’ offsprings could have a power far greater than their parents’, but now we do. But even apart from that, a soulmate bond is said to make both halves grow stronger. So make sure that you don’t let go of her. Charm her and make sure she stays with you. A stronger bond will give you strength as a Jujutsu sorcerer.” His father orders him.

The words were swimming in Noritoshi’s head. But… “If it’s simply falling for her and making her fall for me, it should come naturally with time father. To be frank, I’ve been attracted to her since our first meeting. I will do my best.” Noritoshi said firmly.

◇◇◇

Days after your first mission, Noritoshi’s words from your first mission together still bothered you. It was so dumb on your part. “You don’t know me.” Those words just kept repeating in your mind. It wasn’t wrong.

Make no mistake, Noritoshi didn't mean to offend you at all. From his point of view, he only wanted you to tell him the real reason as to why you saved him without thinking of your actions. He didn't mean to hurt you with his words.

You tried to let it go, knowing that he was just extra worried at that time. But to be honest, it was something that still hung over you. You wished to know him better, not only as a soulmate, but also as a friend.

Everytime Noritoshi came around you and greeted you hello, your heart would tighten just a bit. He could start to feel the weighted heaviness on your soul that he didn't realize was yours via the bond.

He simply thought that he was also feeling down for no reason. It was a long way, distinguishing whose emotions were whose, as the bond is still so fresh between the two of you.

And so he gave his mother a call and scheduled a meetup with her.

“Hello? Mother. Yes, I am well. How are you? …. That’s good to hear. Are you free this weekend? …. Nothing really, I just wanted to see you. …. Yes, me too. …. All is going well here at school, you don’t have to worry I promise. … Yes father is okay. …. Thank you, I’ll see you this Saturday then. Goodbye.” Beep.

◇◇◇

In the following weeks, Noritoshi had been incredibly busy to say the least. He was finally getting promoted to a semi grade 1 as long as he does well in his next mission.

His father was constantly reminding him to make sure he makes you fall in love with him as his soulmate, and hurry it up so that the rest of the clan can meet you already. And he just really wanted to see his mother.

One afternoon you tried to cheer him up after noticing his bad moods. You made senpai some coffee and brought him pastries in your free time.

You sent him a text saying you had something for him. He replied that you could stay for a bit in his room.

“Pardon my intrusion!” You called out as you went in. The door was left unlocked for you. “Come in.” Noritoshi looked up tiredly. His eyes had heavy bags and he looked so exhausted.

“I’m sorry to be bothering you. I just brought some coffee and pastries here so that you can regain a bit of energy senpai.” you whispered, not wanting to be too loud for him.

“It’s not a bother. I’ve just been swamped with so much work as of the late.”

"Senpai, have you… considered getting a bit of rest first? The TOEIC is still a long way to go." You stared at the papers that read "TOEIC 990" stacked on top of his desk.

"I have other matters I’m attending to. Family business and other missions." He grunted while continuing to write down on his paper. He was definitely stressed and overworked.

Maybe he needed someone, like a family member. You tried to empathize with him, "I see. Have you heard from your mom and dad lately? I also understand if you're feeling homesick, I feel the same…" You trailed off upon seeing his face tighten at the mention of his mother.

Your heart dropped.

"That's none of your business." He whispered coldly without thinking.

Fuck y/n. You stepped on a landmine.

You inhaled sharply, backing away. “Ah, I’m so sorry to be intruding. I stepped out of bounds. Please get as much rest as you need.”

You quickly excused yourself from his room feeling so confused from his sudden cold demeanour.

Noritoshi reached out to you, “Wait! I didn’t-” but you already closed his door and stumbled out of his room faster than he could react.

He gave a deep sigh, not meaning to offend you or anything. He just wasn’t in the mood to be around anyone else, and that included you at the moment.

He was just feeling stressed, because he had to cancel his meetup with his mother since his father demanded to talk with him about other clan matters.

He groaned out in frustration. “I’ll have to talk and apologize to her later.” He noticed a heavy and sharp tugging at his heart. He dropped his pen in surprise and stared at his chest in confusion.

"This… these aren't my emotions…" it dawned on him finally. Finally, you both are starting to share very strong bursts of emotion.

Pain and sorrow. Your emotions washed over him like a tidal wave, so sudden that he didn't realize tears were running down one side of his left eye.

He felt guilt and regret like never before.

◇◇◇

A strong wave of regret and guilt stabbed through you. You were pretty sure that these were Noritoshi's emotions.

You finally started feeling something from his end, but you just felt heavy. Was it supposed to be tiring to be a fated pair? Or was it just the bond that was messing up both of your emotions?

You couldn’t even ask anyone else for help, because currently there are no known living soulmates. Besides you and Noritoshi that is.

◇◇◇

The next time you met each other, it was a bit awkward. You tried to give him space during the past few days, understanding that it must be what he needed.

After all, he didn't seem too keen on the way you tried to connect with him last time. You probably overstepped your boundaries. It's true, even though you're soulmates, you're still just friends at this stage.

But Noritoshi found himself looking for you. Trying to catch you in his free time, he finally found you in the weaponry, training with your twin blades.

He stared at your figure. You looked like you were dancing rather than fighting. Smaller daggers controlled by your cursed energy flew around you, covering for any blind spots.

They came to a halt as you set them down and deactivated your technique.

"May I help you Noritoshi senpai?" You asked without turning to look at him. He felt his throat tighten up.

"I came to apologise." Your fingers twitched as though itching to throw your dagger at him. But of course you would never.

"Ahhh, it's okay, Noritoshi senpai. I'm sorry for rudely not minding my own business. Even though we might be soulmates, you're not my boyfriend. We are just good friends aren't we?" You said as you finally turned to face him.

‘Set the boundaries and define the relationship’, you thought to yourself.

Every word you said felt like you were pushing the needle deeper in your heart. It hurt, and you both knew it.

He stepped towards you, standing inches away and shaking his head. "I took out my anger and stress on you, and that was wrong of me. I'm sorry. I do care about you deeply, and you're much more than a friend. You are a very special person to me.``

"Don't say words you don't mean Noritoshi senpai. Please." Your heart was slowly crumbling. He looked pained. "I am not lying. Please believe me.”

But you shook your head and stood your ground. You could feel a fraction of his emotions at this stage of the bond. And you knew in your heart that he was just as confused as you are, trying to feel his way into this relationship.

Noritoshi’s father’s words echoed in his head, ‘Don’t let her go.’

"Don't be unfair to me y/n. If I need time I need it. And I will surely fall for you. If you need time, I’ll also give it to you." He whispered out urgently. "We have a lifetime together."

How did he always sound so sure of himself? Of the future for both of you? You looked back up at him with teary eyes. It sounded so wrong, like he was forcing himself to love you just for the sake of the bond. Does that even count...

"To be honest with you, I don't know what to feel right now senpai." Your voice cracked. His heart broke upon seeing you like this. But nothing can be done.

Does the knowledge of a soulbond always bring a pair together or does it doom two people who are not yet ready to love?

"Wait for me." He promised as he took your hands in his and looked you in the eyes. Your marks felt warm.

You finally felt yourself calm down. And it was so frustrating that you're becoming so dependent on him, turning to him for physical affection. He was the cause of your sorrows and joys altogether.

Blood Bound: Table of Contents

[sneezefiction]

can I request a hc with “I told you not to fall in love with me.” for akaashi? I enjoyed the sleepover writing so much!!! also,, can you turn it into an angst to fluff bc,,I cry easily and maybe a timeskip with the relationship? thank u 👁👅👁

Akaashi x reader - scenario

prompt: “I told you not to fall in love with me.”

a/n: i legit retyped this whole thing 3 times with different story lines each time lmao. no idea why i couldn’t decide on something ahh. i’m sorry if it isn’t exactly what you were anticipating (couldn’t turn it into a hc, had to do a scenario,) but this is how i interpreted it! thank you so much for reading and requesting!! <3333 kind of an angst to fluff situation

warnings: suggests nsfw in the beginning

wc: 1710

---

A mistake.

It was a huge, thoughtless mistake.

I mean, what did you think would happen?

That one night with Akaashi would be easy to forget? That, after liking him for months, you would just stop caring? That your touch starved body would immediately go back to normal after having his hands all over you?

You still feel the ghost of his fingertips trailing over your skin… and you shiver.

“Don’t go falling in love with me.” He’d murmured, jokingly, his words followed by a light chuckle. 

You just joined him with a short, breathy laugh in response, splayed out on his bed, exhausted.

Oh, the irony.

---

It’s morning after, and a golden glow stirs you out of your sleep. The soreness in your legs and the unfamiliar scent of someone else’s home overwhelms your senses. You’re still in his bed, your body still intertwined with Akaashi’s. His eyebrows are furrowed, his breathing is steady. He’s still in a deep sleep.

So pretty… you think as you study his features.

It’s what you’ve wanted… just not under the right circumstance. Even though you know it’s probably a bad idea, you decide to not leave right away.

Instead, you resolve to fix breakfast for the two of you. Under the best of circumstances, you’ll chat. Maybe laugh a little?

Slipping out of his sheets, you carefully pull on a white tee shirt and shorts, making your way out of the room, try not to knock into anything.

The kitchen, now visible in the early morning daylight, is neat and tidy, nothing out of place. It’s nothing fancy, but it’s efficient and it’s just so… him.

As you’re making pancakes and bacon (you found ingredients in the pantry and bacon in the fridge,) you hear soft footsteps.

“What... are you doing here?” He questions sleepily. The confusion is apparent on his face… he’d clearly expected you to run off right when you woke up.

“Oh, sorry… I just thought I’d make you breakfast. There’s coffee brewing right now.” You speak quietly, not wanting to reveal your embarrassment. 

Ah, that’s right… you weren’t supposed to be here. You overstepped an unspoken boundary.

He just hums, taking a seat at his kitchen table right across from where you’re cooking. He’d had his assumptions about you… he knew you had liked him in the past, but he hadn’t predicted the possibility of you staying throughout the morning. His foresight ended when last night began.

A mistake, now, on his part.

And he grew steadily more uncomfortable.

It’s not that he doesn’t want you around… but he hadn’t planned on you knowing him. He had boundaries for a reason. Standards and space to keep people away from him.

A habit he’d developed subconsciously throughout the years to protect himself.

Yet, you were still here. In his kitchen, at his house, with his number… making breakfast for him.

All this after a long night of exploration. Body-to-body contact. Physical interaction with someone, admittedly very beautiful, that he hasn’t had in a long time.

It’s too close for comfort.

“I’m sorry, but I’m not sure we’re on the same page right now…” He starts.

You turn around, realizing the conversation you’re about to have… isn’t going to be very fun.

“Y/n, I told you I’m not used to these things. Don’t get me wrong… you’re kind for making me breakfast and I genuinely enjoyed last night… but I didn’t sign up for a relationship.” He states bluntly, trying to combat the creeping feeling of guilt in his stomach.

There’s something else there too, but he can’t quite figure out what the emotion is.

Your eyes are getting a little teary, but you manage to hold back any tears of embarrassment.

“I’m so sorry… I just, I don’t know, I thought maybe you would see me differently? I, uhm… I really like you. A lot.” You try to compose yourself, but your hands become shaky so you grab onto the countertop. 

“I told you not to fall in love with me.” He reminds you of his playful words from last night, but it sounds far more serious this time. “I don’t know what you were expecting from me, but I’m not interested in this continuing.” He tries to reason, noticing the redness appearing slowly on your face.

“I hate to break it to you, Akaashi, but that’s not exactly how emotions work. For most people at least.” You crack a small smile, but it won’t fool Akaashi… and it’s definitely not fooling you.

And a tear betrays you, slipping down your cheek to the tip of your chin, onto the floor below.

Once one leaves your eye, the others decide to follow. Your dove-white shirt now wet and covered in tear stains. 

How humiliating. Thinking that something as stupid as sleeping with Akaashi would produce some semblance of feelings in him. That somehow you would be adequate enough for him in one night that he could see some relationship with you in the future.

Yes, it was a huge mistake.

On both sides.

So you head home, leaving him in the wake of your emotions and him stuck in his thoughts, processing why he’d allowed this to happen.

The room feels empty without you in it.

Why is that? And why does he feel so bad about it? He didn’t do anything wrong. Or did he?

Why does he want to call you right now? Why does he suddenly need to explain himself? He has no reason to. You never asked him to…

He buries his head in his hands for a few minutes then decides on a shower. That should wash away whatever pit he’s feeling in his stomach right now.

But the feeling lingers.

And it chooses to nag at him for months, with no end in sight.

---

Time passed and college is more or less overtaking your life. The end of the semester leaves you overwhelmed and burnt out. So yeah, you’re contemplating, once again, why you went to college in the first place. 

However, without the distraction of school, you probably would still be ruminating on last semester’s heartbreaker of an issue.

The workload allowed you to let go of any hope for Akaashi returning feeling or reaching out.

Numbing something isn’t always the best way to get rid of your feelings, but you can’t help but think they wouldn’t have gone away without some mental diversion.

Your expectations were too high and it was best for you to burn that bridge. Or whatever was left to burn anyway.

But fate likes to play cruel tricks and you seem to be its target for the day.

As you leave your dorm, a wave of familiarity washes over you.

That smell… that cologne. It’s a sharp slap to the face.

You finally make it out of the thick, painful realization that Akaashi isn’t going to be a part of your life anymore… and your mind draws you right back in.

But it isn’t just the cologne. No.

The familiar features, physical and vocal, decided to rejoin you as well.

The universe had the audacity to place him on the walkway up to your dorm room.

You attempt to slink past him, turning your face hoping that he hadn’t already seen you, but you simply aren’t fast enough.

“It’s been a while, y/n.” He states.

Your heart drops and you slowly turn around, body stiff.

“Why are you here?” It sounds more like an accusation than a question. Oops.

“Well, maybe it’s because we go to the same school?” He chuckles, but straightens himself up.

“Yeah… well I’ve gotta run. I’m late for, um, things.” You reply, trying to get yourself out of an increasingly awkward situation.

Akaashi takes a step forward and gently, but firmly, grasps your jacket’s sleeve.

“Hold on.” He orders, then softens the command with a, “Please.”

“I actually came here to- ehem, apologize.” He looks you straight in the eye.

He seems genuine, his hurt translating through his eyes.

“You didn’t deserve what I did to you.” He admits, “I knew you’d liked me… and I- I was selfish.”

He reads your face, noting the look of exhausted grief in your expression.

In a way, he had used you. He knew you felt something for him… and inadvertently took advantage of it. Not wanting strings attached, not caring (in the moment) that it might hurt you, and not communicating his intentions.

“A friend of yours finally told me where you lived, so I ran over here to let you know that I am, truly, so sorry.”

Your eyes are misty again… why am I like this.

You give a gentle smile, trying to ease the tension in the air.

“Akaashi, it’s okay. It was a mistake. Things like this happen all the time.” You do your best to console the boy, the one who’s still gripping your jacket. Even though it’s really you who needs a hug right now.

“I’m gonna head-on, but I hope you feel better, okay? Don’t go overthinking things.” You tease, gently. It’s the best you can do.

But he doesn’t let go.

“I want to talk with you.” He states, this time with a tone of interest, not pleading. Asking.

“What do you mean?” You ask, genuinely confused. You feel yourself getting warm and it’s not the layers you’re wearing.

His unoccupied hand makes its way to the back of his head. “Like… on a date. Or just out somewhere.”

The directness shocks you. Why now? Why not then? Should you even trus-

“I understand if you don’t trust me. You’re right… that night was a mistake. But you aren’t.”

He’s flushed, but it’s crystal clear that he’s being honest. He let’s go of your jacket.

“I think I can trust you, y/n. I want to make it up to you… get to know you better. For the right reasons.”

You contemplate it, making him wait for a moment, allowing several, long seconds to pass.

Yes, he caused pain.

But there are two pieces to any problem. Person A and person B.

You’ve been given second chances all your life… from jobs, to relational mistakes, to breakups. Forgiveness is one of the most powerful forces. 

And you figure person B could use a second chance. 

“Then let’s start slow.” You decide and reach out a hand with a mischievous glint in your eyes, letting your humor shine through for a moment.

“Hi, I’m y/n.”

He reaches his own hand out to yours, but instead of shaking it, intertwines his fingers with yours, in a sense, sealing the deal.

“Hi, y/n, I’m Akaashi.” He reintroduces himself with a small, but glowing smile.

[amazingdriverfics]

Hii! How are u doing, sweetheart? Can i request "“just let me finish this and I swear I will go down on you and make you cum three times.” with Pale?? i just need more pale contenttttt haha! Maybe a part 2?? u choose. lysm xx

A/N: I’m good, thank u so much for asking. I hope u are doing well too.

This took me some time, but it is the longests one shot I ever did, so I’m hoping it counts, sorry.

I truly hope u like it!

Love u, thanks for the kindness

warnings: lots of porn and cheating

My masterlist

Pale had been living in you and Jack’s place for a whole week now, and yet, every time your e/c eyes met his figure your heart skipped a beat. Pale was right, you are ruined for anyone else.

You and Jack rarely had sex ever since your marriage failed, but now every time he touched you, all you could feel was complete boredom. To feel slight pleasure, you would close your eyes and imagine the attractive tall man who had fucked you in the party.

So when your unbearable husband told you that Pale would have to stay an entire month with the two of you, you entered in a blissful state.

Apparently, the man’s apartment was going through some upgrades and Jack didn’t want him to bother to spend his money in some hotel, when you two lived in a fucking mansion.

Ever since Pale got to your beautiful and classic mansion away from the chaos of the city, the bastard had been giving you constantly looks that made your legs want to fail, that caused all of your blood to run directly into your clit and your pussy to grow yet, your panties becoming constantly drenched. You were definetly starved for some good fuck.

——————————————————————————

Jack had left for a business trip and you and Pale would be all alone for two full days. In your lustfull state, the images of what he would and could do to you constantly invaded your brain.

Today is the day you are going to do something about, you think to yourself as you watch Pale working is his room. His back covered in a fancy cetim white shirt as smoke revolves the back of his head, provenient from the cigarette in his hand.

Gathering the necessary courage, your hand hits the dark wood open door of his room to make him aware of your presence.

“I was wondering how long it would take for you to show up” his deep voice fills your ears making you shiver.

You hum as an answer, body already entering the room. You make your way to his bed, sitting on the edge of it, carefully placing a leg on top of the other, your hands traveling to the soft navy blue bedspread. The position allows your body to be shown by your transparent nightdress which barely covered your revealing lingerie.

“I knew it wouldn’t take you long.” he says, turning his chair around, dark eyes drinking you in as he finishes the cigarette in his hand.

A smirk grows on his face the more he watches you. “You are such a slut. What would your husband think of you now? Dressed like a whore to the man he let into his home?” he asks you.

“He would think that I’m a whore, just like you do” you answer, the confidence in your voice surprising yourself.

“Too bad that you are a whore just for me. Isn’t that right?” the question goes straight to your cunt which clenches around nothing, the anticipation almost killing you inside.

“Yes, sir” you emphasize the ‘sir’ knowing it would get a reaction from him.

He hums pleased with your attitude as you take a look at his deep brown pants and sees that his cock has already started to press against the fabric, becoming visible to the eye.

“Too bad I’m working right now” he states with malice on his eyes, before turning around and reassuming the position he had been in when you first walked in.

You whine as a reply. Before you could even stop yourself, the sound was out of your mouth. The frustration of not getting what you had been needing for so long clouding you every judgment.

Pale tsks before acknowledging your response. “Now don’t be a brat. Just let me finish this and I swear I will go down on you and make you cum three times, alright?”

“Okay” you reply with unamusement before laying your back on the bed.

——————————————————————————

Surprising yourself, you remain patient. You don’t ask him if he’s anywhere near finishing, you don’t complain, you don’t whine. All you do is stare at the ceiling as your head drifts to the very nasty space which Pale frequently occupied.

Before you even notice, you hear the chair cracking as the tall man sitting it in gets up and makes his way over to you.

“It seems like I have to fulfill my part of the deal now” you hear his voice as you feel his strong hands caressing your thighs.

As a reaction, you instantly close your legs and get the upper part of your body up by supporting your weight on your elbows, eyes already meeting his, which makes a spark fly through your body.

“I thought you wanted to be a good slut for me. Am I wrong?” Pale asks you as he arches his eyebrows.

With eagger, you shake your head and open your legs, hoping that it would make him forget about your previous mistake.

“That’s more how I fucking like it” he purrs.

Taking you by surprise, both of his hands leave your soft skin going up in the air before coming back down in a sudden movement, the smack sound filling up the room. As a response, your chest goes forward and a scream leaves your mouth.

As soon as his hand hits your skin, he rubs the stinging area with his warm hands, making sure to also squeeze it, intensifying the pain, but also the pleasure you are feeling.

“Just to make sure you could remember what happens when you don’t behave.” Pale says, taking his hands off of you and taking his head closer to yours, his lips barely touching yours as you feel his hot breathing on your skin.

Leaving you with a ghost sensation on your lips he gets up, staring at your body once more as his right hand reaches his crotch caressing the very visible erection formed.

“I’ll sit on the chair and you are going to strip for me, since you are so fucking good at it, understood?” he commands you and as a reply you nod.

The action didn’t seem please him since it causes him to wrap his huge hand around your throat, the flow of air being interrupted by it as he says in your ear: “When I ask you something, I expect you to use your words”.

A hoarse ‘yes’ comes out of your mouth and he lets you go, stepping away as air finally floods your lungs once again.

You watch as he makes his way to the leather chair, discarting his belt on the pristine floor before sitting in it and facing you, his eyes trained on your figure as you got off the bed ready to give him the show he asked for.

You start with your nightdress, your hands travelling up to touch the soft material of its straps. Slowly, you let them leave your arms which causes the clothing piece to fall to the ground.

Once your feet leave the insides of the dress, you kick it to the side, letting Pale enjoy the view of your white lingerie for a moment. It’s bra, waistband and panties barely covered anything, the only part not visible to the man was your pussy.

You watch as Pale squeezes his cocktip once again causing your pussy to clench.

Not wanting to wait for too long anymore, you start to ease the rest of your layers. You start with the beautifully adorned bra, letting it slip off your body as your eyes stared deep into the man’s dark ones. You watch as his eyes leave yours to adore your now free breast and stiffen nipples.

Before moving onto the rest of lingerie, you take your hand to your sore nubs, toying with them in between your fingers and letting a breath escape your mouth from the small amount of relief.

“Don’t play with me, you won’t like the consequences” he states, giving you a sign to go on with his hand.

And you do as you are told, lowering your hands to the middle part involving your waist and ending on your thighs before easing it off of you, seductively passing your hand against your warm skin.

Continuing with your work, your hands finally close around your white adorned panties - which were already drenched - and you let it fall to the ground, feeling the cold air of the room meet the wetness on it, causing your body hair to stand.

“Let me take care of this pussy now.” Pale says, standing on his feet and taking his shirt off.

Instantly you take in the sight of his defined muscles fighting the urge to run your nails through it, teasing his skin as his plushy lips devoured yours like you had been picturing for quite some time.

“Lay on the bed, time for me to eat” he commands you and like his good little slut you do just as you are told to, dying to feel his hot and devilish tongue against your needy cunt.

As soon as your back touches the bedspread, Pale is all over you. His calloused hands exploring every inch they possibly could while his lips seal yours, his tongue dominating yours just like any other side of him did.

The truth is you were a complete mess under his spell, you are sure that you would do just anything he commanded you to, just because he could make you feel pleasure with every single word, touch and look.

Before you could stop yourself, you separate your lips from his whispering a ‘please’, pleading him with your eyes to touch you, to do anything to relieve the pain on your sore clit which was just as needy for him as you are.

“Needy slut. You are such a dirty slut, you disgust me” he says before literally spitting on your tits, the liquid traveling down your belly and, despite what you would have imagined in the past, the action turns you on even more.

His next action also takes you by surprise. With his tongue, Pale follows the path his spit did, licking the space between your breasts, your belly and giving an open mouth kiss to your belly button where it landed.

After making sure he had cleaned you up, Pale keeps on making his way down. Kissing your inner thighs as his eyes stare deep down into yours.

Finally, his tongue meets your folds, temptly going up and down with a light pressure applied to the action, just enough to make you arch your back, the building anticipation and horniness in your system making you more sensitive than you would normally be.

Pale continues to toy with your folds for a while before closing his lips around your nub and sucking on it hard, the action instantly causes a series of ‘fuck’s to leave your mouth as your eyes close trading the sight of his eyes filled with desire for the darkness.

You feel as he laughs onto your pussy, the vibration against your clit sending electricity in your bloodstream and causing your hand to travel to his hair, not really doing anything other than holding onto it like your life depended on it.

However Pale didn’t stop there. Letting go of your clit with one last suck, he starts to make his way down once more, his tongue licking all the way until your pussy whole where it stops. At first, he just pressures it lightly against the whole, the tip almost easing in, but not really being able to do it and, by the way you see him looking at you when you open your eyes again, you can tell that he is doing it just to tease you, to see how long you can take before screaming for him to ease it in.

The answer is: not too long.

“Puh-lease, Pale. I need you” you scream at the top of your lungs, the frustration of not getting what you want too much for you to handle at the sensitive state you are in.

Your reaction is enough for him to go on, his hot muscle entering your whole and teasing it by swirling and twisting it, so it could touch every inch his tongue could reach and it drives you insane. You hold on tighter to his hair and to the bedspread as a wave starts to form on your lower belly, the wave ready to crash at every second.

Pale makes sure to fuck you with his tongue, easing it inside and out and exploring your insides everytime. Not once, his eyes leave your figure, always dying to drink in your every reaction just like his tongue drank everything your sloppy cunt was able to give him.

The wave crashes over you when Pale’s tongue finally touches the right spot inside and, before you know, you are spilling your release all over his tongue and face, your whole body is trembling and your back leaves the bed.

Pale drinks everything you offer him before leaving your pussy alone and, as soon as you are back to your senses, his lips, glistening with your juices just like his chin and cheeks, are on yours, making you taste yourself as well as staining your face with your own arousal. And you honestly get even more hot for him with it.

“One down, two to go” he states when he lets your lips free of his hold. “Do you think you can take it, slut?” he asks, but Pale doesn’t give you time to answer “I’m going to break your fucking pussy if you can’t”. And it causes you to moan a little too loud, the sound reverberating through the walls of the room.

He, on the other hand, laughs at your reaction, but it doesn’t stop his hand from making its way down as he lays on his side facing you.

You kiss him when his hand finally reaches your cunt, his finger brushing against your sensitive clit which makes you whimper inside his mouth, your hand traveling to his arm and squeezing it hard, because you feel like you would fall apart if you didn’t hold onto Pale.

The sloppy kiss full of tongue and teeth continues as he rubs your clit over and over again while easily putting two of his thick fingers inside your cunt, completely lubricated by your own cum.

Just like everything else, Pale knows what he is doing, his fingers curling inside of you, teasing your walls that repeatedly clench around them as he keeps on eating your moans and whimpers.

It isn’t long before he is capable of fitting three of his fingers inside of you, his thumb still massaging your clit. As he finger fucks you, the wet noise of your cunt eating up greedly all he could give you fills the room as well as the sloppy noises coming from the kiss, both letting it pretty clear just how much you craved his every touch, every kiss, as well as the fact that Pale wasn’t lying when he said you were his slut.

It doesn’t take you long to cum once more, walls milking his cock as you are momentarily taken to another galaxy filled with only pleasure, every single cell in you enjoying the pure bliss only this man could give you.

You come back to your senses when his fingers leave your cunt leaving you feeling empty and, despite the two times he took you over the edge, needier for him.

“Two down, one to go. Time for this pretty pussy to swallow by dick” Pale states, leaving your body alone in the bed as he eases off of the rest of his clothes.

Instantly, your eyes go straight to his thick, swollen and big cock which makes you lose the air for a bit as you are remembered just how big Pale is. He could definitely break you in two.

“On your hands and knees” he commands and you obey, trying to ignore the way your body begged to stay still, the two orgasms clearly taking a toll on you.

As you finally get into position, you feel his weight on the mattress behind you and his hands on your ass giving both of your cheeks a squeeze before guiding one to your waist and the other off your body.

You guess it is now holding his cock since you feel it against your folds going up and down, gathering lubrication.

When he feels like it is enough, Pale starts to insert his cock on you, stretching you in ways you believed to be impossible.

“This pussy was fucking made for me. Can you feel the way it hugs my cock so well?” he asks you, making you clench unintentionally which causes him to moan your name.

“Yesyesyes, Pale, this pussy is all yours to ruin” you reply as he finishes pushing his dick in, the tip touching your cervix.

He mumbles a ‘damn right’ before squeezing your waist and starting to move. Despite the last time, you could never have been ready for how much he filled you. His dick touches every inch of your whole as it enters and leaves.

Pale is truly the death of you, you decide as he sets a precise pace, his dick leaving you before slamming all the way back, his full balls slapping against your cunt just as his hip slammed against you ass rhythmically.

Jack could never do the things Pale does to you and every time he hits your spot making the fire inside of you grow, you are also remembered of that fact. Every time his dirty words meet your ears you are also remembered just how well he seems to know your body, his every touch precisely taking you closer to the edge.

“See, slut? You are going to cum without touching your abused clit. Does your husband please you like that?” Pale asks, as you start to clench more and more around his thick cock, your third orgasm announcing that it was ready to arrive at any given moment now.

“Fuu-uck, Pale. Jack could never” you try to talk as your body keeps on being pushed forward with the strength of his movements.

It takes two more times of his dick touching you inner spot for you to blow into a supernova. For a minute, the whole world goes black and your athoms explode into pleasure just like you.

All you can feel is Pale, his hands squeezing your waist hard, his pelvis hardly pressed against your ass, his head on your shoulder, his cock being milked by your pussy and his seed filling you up as he too explodes into his own release.

You could get used to this.

[mongoosejpeg]

Random concepts my brain comes up with (or just random things I think of)

I tried to avoid angst (and u!sides) but....I came up with a lot of angst (i think?)....ajdhdh sorryyyyyy

Also....dont question anything pls....im very sleep deprived and dont know anything and dont take anything to seriously

Also....theres very bad english in here so...yeah....

Warning: uh....might be u!sides.....idk ajshxh...itll be in the tags tho

Logan will quote a different school house rock song, everyday, to Virgil

Patton takes Romans sash and puts it around his forehead/waist cuz hes a pirate

Virgil steals Janus' cape and will be an airplane and everytime he passes a side he will say nyooommm

Roman will take Virgils makeup (who has a lot of different colors) and do the other sides makeup

Remus will take Logans glasses and wear them wrong on purpose cuz he knows it annoys Logan

Logan and Deceit don't do anything or take anything cuz theyre the parents™

Its legit canon that they have their own phones......Virgil has a lavender phone case, Logan has a gold case, Roman has a golden phone case, Patton has a red phone case (i think)

Everyday Virgil will give Patton a stone with a tiny piece of paper telling the meaning at the same time...everyday. virgil does this cuz 1. he has too many 2. it gives him smth to do and gets him to be a tiny bit productive

Janus has a bunch of plants a l o t o f p l a n t s like....almost an excessive amount

Dukexiety/tangled au.....repunzal as Virgil and flynn as remus (idk)

Logan t poses almost all the time

The way to tell Patton and Janus apart is that janus knows how babies are made (messenger falcons) and Patton does not

Virgil likes pasta with no sauce (pathta wif nu thathe) (if ya get the reference....good job)

Virgil has yet to have a debate with Patton, Janus and Remus

Every time there is a new disney movie roman will just be...*flappy hands* for like.....a good half hour before actually watching it

The mind vs. the heart is just an old married couple™ fight

"Oh ofc. i never wanted you to feel like you couldnt" like.....the way patton says it....sounds like a mix of Deceits voice and Pattons voice

Anytime the other sides/Thomas has a problem, Logan will dress up as Sherlock...and patton (no matter where he is) will pop up as Watson and the little arguement will happen everytime

Rhythm Redux has hints of Mandy goes to med school

Virgil is pretty short....not by much but still one of the shortest side. When his anxiety heightens, he grows taller for x hours. Then when he calms down, he goes back to his normal height

Remus would practice forbidden fruit all the time, so that when he and Thomas finally met, he wouldnt mess up (cuz ew...who wants tk mess up on their own song?). Sometimes he would scream it, especially when Virgil was around

In moving on pt.1 virgil said "no" and then his hand flew up to cover his mouth...which was deceit

Janus with a flower crown around his hat

Janus has a snek in his hat and its never ending...like a mandelbrot fractal

Logan info dumps about space and Janus is the only one who actually, truly listens

Are there healthy distractions has more analogical....

Logan will carry around a notebook and pen/pencil at all times....especially for Virgil...like...when he gets a panic or anxiety attack...logan will give him the notebook so he doesnt have to talk

Janus has several different bowler hats and the other sides (besides logan and maybe patton?) will steal all of them and hide them

Logan and Roman will watch movies together, purely to rewrite it....virgils there to have a disney debate with Roman

When Thomas gets really anxious, virgil will kick down a door and go through a window, feet first

they are their own villians

whats virgils, janus' and remus' biggest fears? Logan

All of the sides have/need glasses but Logan and Patton are the only ones who actually...wear them...obviously

For virgils birthday, Logan got Virgil a puzzle book (or Christmas)

Virgil met his new years resolution (like...he got it done)

*has to watch beauty and the beast for this one* technically....beauty and the beast isnt Stockholm Syndrom......belle traded herself so her father could be free....the beast never took maurice....he wondered into the castle by himself and got...captured....sooo technically...idk where im going with this ajsjxh

Virgil has a crap ton of funko pops

Everytime Patton goes into Virgils room, he'll come out scared of the curtains

When Roman said "you are nothing compared to the others" and his hand went over his mouth....was that deceit? like....him not wanting Thomas to even know about him or remus yet..or orange side?

"Im not evil" foreshadowing for remus

Patton can yell "i will physically fight you" as loud as logan can yell "falsehood"

Virgil is a Ravenclaw (i think we all knew this tho ajsjdh)

When Logan actually shows sadness (the like....one time he did) the other sides will give him validation (telling him hes right, he cool etc.) and just...give him love (they will also do this with the other sides too)

Logan will pop up and ask Thomas about the picture with circles that is hanging above Thomas's (?) couch.

Logan has yet to actually solve a problem by himself...... hes either used information they already knew, or needed/used the others help (sorry)

Virgils the only one Logans said "sorry" to....he usually says "apologies"

The dark sides have pan(heh) pancake and pillow fights (the darks sides....remus and Virgil and janus just stands there until something gets thrown at him....then he joins)

Every year for their birthday, Roman and Logan will always get a jar (or more) of crofters

Every time Logan has crofters (like...pb&j or toast or smth idkkkkk) he'll keep making puns for an hour straight (gay)

Virgil watched dhmis and got weirded out for like....a week

When Janus is around, Patton and Roman will make a bunch of snake puns and janus will stand there like :|

Logan is allergic to anything "sweet" like....butterfingers

Did....did you guys know...that the cast of sander sides....is...Thomas sanders....i just learned that....thats...crazy wow....when were you guys gonna tell me? (fun fact.....every fricken time thomas yawned in dwit....i yawned)

Virgil researches architecture or like.....studies it?

Remus and/or Janus is/are (?) a ghost....ok remus...

Remus is actually really smart and gets along with Logan pretty well

Virgil was the least...like...responsive(?) after forbidden fruit

Virgils eyes are more red in dwit (could just be Thomas and that he was tired or smth)

Whenever Remus walks past Patton, he'll take off his ears but then put them back on when he goes out of Pattons sight (english who?)

In the bloopers (not really but shhhhh) or smth when Remus knocked Logans teeth out, logan said "figuwawivwy"

Whenever Virgil "sounds the alarm" he (and maybe patton and remus) will go "weoo" for a few minutes as loud as he can

Logan has a baymax plush

Janus is obsessed with Hocus Pocus (despite Logan pointing out all the inconsistencies)

In clbg when patton said yes to thomas when he asked if there are anymore sides that were hidden away from him, he glanced at virgil (and logan) and virgil got super uncomfortable

Janus will always say the "you better watch out" vine

Everytime Logan has an idea, he'll say lightbulb out loud...like...just..."lightbulb" and the other sides just stare at him like.."wha-???" until he explains

[words-of-sin]

A Nunh’s Carrrre

Commission for the fantastic @darthsuki!

Relationship: DFAB!Miqo’te!Reader x U’odh Nunh

Rating: Explicit

Summary: You know you need the aid of the once-great adventurer, U’odh Nunh. Problem being, his rut is near and you happen to be prime for breeding.

Notes: Contains the following: DFAB!Reader, Seeker!Reader, Heat-Induced Sex, M/F Relationship, Slight Mindbreak, Cock Worship, Dirty talk, Breed kink, and more.

Visiting a tribe of Seeker Miqo’te near their mating season was nothing short of reckless. If the U Tribe’s cycle was anything like your own tribe, it would be within the next Moon. Still, the scions made it clear that time was not something you had to spare. You needed to gain favor with the Company of Heroes now. The threat of Titan was far more important than any personal comfort, after all.

Y’shtola had double-checked with you before you left, asking if you truly felt it wise to go with such a sensitive time nearing. You’d laughed, assuring her it would be fine. After all, you’d met many Tias before, and the pull of your own tribe’s Nunh had never been an issue.

But by the Twelve, you were not ready for the way he purred. Even his smell was more enticing than anything you’d experienced before. It took only ten minutes in the Nunh’s hut for you to realize why Y’shtola was so concerned: the U Tribe’s heat was far closer than you had anticipated. U’odh Nunh retained a sense of composure about him that almost made you question if he truly was the one who gave off the scent that was making the air feel so heavy. He listened earnestly, his ears flicking as he thought over your plea for his aid. His tail swatted behind him, and you watched as his eyes dragged across your form.

You could tell he was nothing short of a warrior with that gaze. His eyes, a sharp off-white that practically glowed in contrast to his dark skin, felt so heavy on you. He held mischief in him with how his lips quirked into a slanted grin. It was enough to make you nervous, to wonder just what was he thinking? You knew the traditions you would have to follow to gain his approval for the request: if you were an outsider who wished to have the aid of the Nunh, you must appease he and his tribe alike. 

It would have been simple during any other season, you were certain. Perhaps he would ask you to prove yourself through some menial tasks. Maybe you would have to fight something? Take part in a hunt? Your ears pressed flat against your head, watching U’odh stand. His arms crossed behind him as he rounded the table, your gaze never leaving him. He was silent in his movement, stalking behind you with only a light tap from his shoes on the rug below telling you where he went. 

The two Tias and attendants in the room watched him. You held your breath even, eyes closing as you urged the tension that filled the room to not affect you. Turning to face him would be an insult, showing your distrust. The temptation remained, however, especially when the other four Miqo’te in the room all seemed to glance at one another, sharing a silent but knowing look amongst them. 

The Tias both gave a nod towards U’odh. The attendants headed towards the door as U’odh spoke from behind you, “adventurrrrerrr...stay where you are," it was no mere request, the purr sending a shiver straight through your tail. The Tias followed after the attendants. The older of the two, a black-haired Seeker with glasses, remained silent as he walked past you without so much as a glance. The other grinned, white and black ears flicking.

“Good luck, Adventurer,” He whispered as he passed you, giving a sly snicker and wink before he disappeared from your view as well. The door shut and you felt the awareness of your situation grow. It was just the two of you now, the desire to turn around and see what the Nunh was doing stronger than ever. 

Your ears flicked, searching for any sort of sign or noise to tell you where he was and what he was planning. The heat coming from his body hit you first, his arms caging you as his hands pinned themselves to the table on either side of you. U’odh was close, the scent coming off of him so godsdamned strong as his hips pressed into your lower back. A small voice echoed inside how dangerous it was. Nunhs could set their female born tribe members into heat with the pheromones from their own, couldn’t they? Did it work if you were from another tribe…?

“You are so farrr from home at this time of year,” his voice was barely more than a growl as he spoke into the crook of your neck. “Tell me...have you no place? No Nunh?” 

“I-I….left,” you answer. “I felt a calling and...I followed it.” The Seeker hummed as his claws dragged across the wood of the table towards you, hands placing themselves cleverly. His right was on your hip, low enough to give his intent and high enough to show his respect; you were an outsider who did not belong to him. The Nunh’s advances were bold, something tribes looked down on. Were you claimed, his touch alone would be a threat to your Nunh. What if you were lying? He was playing a game of absolute risk.

U’odh showed no worry as his left hand was used to move your hair away from the sensitive nape of your neck, breath hitching as a single claw dragged along your skin. It was a special place for the Seekers; the nape of one’s neck was used to show if you’d been bred that season by the Nunh, his scent and mark being held to show his claim. The nerves were sensitive, something that no one dared touch casually, and it sent trembles through your body. U’odh was an experienced Nunh, nearly half his years spent in the role. There was no position or gesture he didn’t know, and touching such a place was no mistake.

He was serious: he truly meant to breed you. To claim you in ways your tribe’s Nunh failed to.

“I underrrrrstand...the call of adventurrre. You are herrre for aid because you seek to do what I have, arrren’t you? Slay the prrrimal Titan as I had in my youth?” He was asking but you knew well enough he was simply toying. Each word could be felt at your nape, his breath was so hot on your skin as his lips ghosted over the spot. Speaking was merely an excuse to tease. A deep breath to clear your mind failed, more of U’odh’s scent filling your head.

“Y...yes. I...I’ve slain a primal before--Ifrit. I can do it, I just need information,” you swallowed hard as the hand used to brush away your hair glided down your side, a single claw tracing the shape and dips of your curves.

“An imprrrressive feat. Adventurrrre is truly your calling but you...such a prrrretty thing...surrrely your Nunh wanted to keep you.” It was clever how he urged you to reveal what he wanted to know. He was a proper Nunh, after all: he took only what was unclaimed, especially if it was from another Nunh’s tribe. “How did you everrr manage to escape his grrrrasp?”

“He...ne...never ha-had me.” You could feel his fangs now, each word he had spoken enunciated by the way they scraped along your skin. It was foolish to tell him that, to tell him that you were free to take. Still, the words tumbled forth without much thought. “I didn’t...I wanted...to explore. To see more. If I….he wouldn’t….le...let…”

“Huussshhh,” U’odh pressed harder against you, the clear shape of his hardened cock impossible to ignore now. “You needn’t worrrrry about that now. Such a prrrrretty thing you arrre, though. And to have neverrrr had the touch of a Nunh? Such…..trrrrrravesties shouldn’t be allowed….but...we could….rrrrectify that. Wouldn’t you like a taste of it…? To have a Nunh?” 

“I...M-my….Titan-” you tried, U’odh silencing you with his right hand squeezing at your hip. It traveled down, slipping to your inner thigh. You felt a dull throb as a groan escaped, watching his left hand as it revealed a small drawer hidden under the table. He pulled out a slender vial that made your eyes widen.

“Just forrrr the night, prrretty thing. Forrrr a night, you will be brrred by your new Nunh….and then I will give you this...and aid you in yourrr quest.” His voice was deep, drowning you as each purr rumbled between your bodies. U’odh held the vial up, giving it a small shake in front of you. The tincture was popular amongst women who wished to prevent becoming impregnated, a special concoction created with Miqo’te heats in mind--no matter how much cum he filled you with, the tincture would take care of it. It would be like nothing happened, you told yourself as his right hand explored over the fabric of your pants. 

“Just...fforrr the night,” you purred back, face red at the way your tongue rumbled over the words. “One night...and then you give me the potion...and you help deal with Titan.”

“Aye, my prrretty thing. I am a man of my worrrd.” 

You nodded, eyes still locked onto the vial as it was returned safely to the hidden drawer. You found yourself licking your lips as it closed. “What...would you have me do?”

"What you would do forr any Nunh, my prrrretty thing,” U’odh mumbled into your ear as he nuzzled into your hair. A tight grip on your hips spun you to face him, your eyes locking and you could see the way his pupils were blown wide as he spoke in a growl, “prrresent yourrself."

Present yourself? You knew of the custom of course; a female to be bred was to position herself for the Nunh, bent over with their ass high and tail lifted out of the way. It was an unspoken welcome to the Nunh. All the female born Seekers were taught when they were of age, but you had chosen to not allow your Nunh into your chambers when Heat came: to be bred meant to be bound to the tribe and that meant ignoring the call to adventure. You would have kits, and such a responsibility was too much to balance with your status.

Still, you were no virgin. You were at secretly thankful you had taken on a few Tia lovers here and there to aid in the heats before. That you weren’t completely out of your element as you squeezed out from between his body and the table to give yourself the space needed to work at your clothes. 

U’odh watched you, drinking in the sight as you began with your shirt as his tail flitted about behind him. His own vest was shrugged off with ease. You shivered, fingers stumbling over the buttons. The Nunh caught it effortlessly. You avoided looking at him as he stepped forward and took your hands in his own as he pulled your bodies close once more.

"Prrrretty thing, why do you hesitate? Arrre you so inexperrrienced? Nerrrrvous?" The hand that held yours was callous and strong. U’odh dragged you close, chests pressed together as the vibrations of his purr thrummed through your body once more. The Nunh used a single finger to lift your chin. 

"I…. Told you,” your eyes slipped half-closed, gaze shifting to his lips as you mumbled. “I’m not…inexperienced but...my Nunh and I…”

U'odh stiffened, and for a moment you feared he would reject you. Of course. A Nunh was used to the pleasures of his tribe and of mates who had long since learned the art. You, on the other hand, chose adventure and never regretted the choice till that very moment. If this was to be the only way you would gain his favor then- 

"Sweet little thing….prrrrrrecious warrrrriorr…I told you, I am yourrr Nunh. You need only to say the worrrd and I shall do as all Nunh should." U’odh hummed, cutting your worries short.

"An…. And that is….?"

The distance between you shortened, his breath dancing on your lips he cooed, "Take carrrrre of you."

You felt consumed by him, the kiss earning a whimper from you as his hands dropped to your hips. It was little surprise that he was strong, yet you still yelped as the ground disappeared from under you and your legs wrapped around his waist out of instinct. His hands rested on your ass, holding you high as each breath you took was cut off with his lips. They were rough, your own more soft than his. Had your previous lovers’ lips tasted this good? 

The movement was barely registered past the way his steps made your body grind against him. His hair was soft, your fingers tangled as you pulled him in for more. How quickly that word took over your mind, a kiss alone sending you into a mantra of more, more, more. 

It was miserable being let go of, spilling back onto the table as he laid you out before him. The whole of your body felt cold, the loss of his lips being the worst of it all. Propping yourself up with your elbow, you watched as his hands slid along the length of your thighs. “U’odh….?”

“Hussh, Prrrretty thing,” he cooed, the man dropping to his knees as he spread your legs, hooking them over his shoulder. “I am yourrr Nunh, rrrrememberrr? When we brrrrreed, you call me Odh.” You flushed at the gesture, his true name being granted to you so easily.

“Y-Yes Od-Oh!” You jolt as his tongue dragged over the fabric of your pants. His ears flick as he grins from between your thighs, arms wrapped around your legs so he can hold you to him. You could feel the muscles tense as he pressed his mouth to your core. Each breath he took was deep, inhaling your scent as he nuzzled closer. It was frustrating, your hips rutting of their own will in the hops that the feeling your clothes dulled would become stronger. 

You were no match for his experience, no matter how many Tias you had bedded before.

He looked up, eyes glowing with mischief and you swore you could feel his smirk through your clothes. U’odh stood, taking your legs with him and making your back arch. All that remained on the table was your shoulders and head, thighs still over the Nunh’s shoulders. 

“If you wish to fight the prrrrrimal,” U’odh spoke between each kiss and lap of his tongue, the blood rushing to your head making the pleasure rattle through your senses harder than before. “You will need...betterrr arrmorrrr, Warrriorrr.”

“B...Better...armor?” You asked, your mind hazed over from the feel of his mouth. The fabric around your sex was soaked now, the question of if it was your need or his tongue being the leading cause becoming impossible to answer. “What...where would I…? Wha...what is...wrong with….”

“The fabrrric...it’s much too thin,” U’odh hummed, shoulders rolling as he moved his hands from your knees. You watched best as you could at the given angle as his grip slipped to your inner thighs, inches from your core. “I shall supply you with something strrrongerr. It’s the least I could do afterrrr this.” 

“After what-?” The tear of fabric cut your words short, your heart skipping at the realization. His claws dug into the fabric, shredding easily as he tore both pants and smallclothes alike. The Nunh’s breath was impossibly hot, the man not sparing a single second before rejoining his mouth with the newly exposed slick folds.

Your own claws dug into the table, tail bristling and wrapping around one of U’odh’s arms. You were certainly no stranger to pleasure, and to say you’d never had a lover taste you would be untrue. But his tongue, his mouth-

The Nunh’s experience was clear as he sucked at your clit, the pressure calculated and knowing. Each stroke of his rough tongue sent a shiver through you, every noise he drew from you causing his ears to flick. 

“O-Odh...I-I...Haaahhoooww?” It was maddening, the Nunh pinning each of your sensitive spots within moments. The familiarity he approached you with was that of an old lover, every secret unfolding before him with utter ease. 

“Oh, prrretty thing,” he moaned, the expression he wore nothing short of lewd. His mouth was shimmering from the liquid, mouth hung open as his tongue resisted being more than even an ilm away from your cunt. Never had you seen anything like the look in his eyes, his pupils reminiscent of a Hyur’s through his hooded gaze. “Prrrrrecious Darrrrling, do you not know...how sweet you arrre? Such a delicious flavorrr you possess...Yourrr poorrrr Tribal Nunh--he knows not what a trrrreat he has lost.”

His ministrations were highlighted with a flick of his tongue and your back arched, tail squeezing at his arm as tightly as it could manage. He nuzzled into your thighs, his facial hair tickling at the skin your torn pants no longer covered as his purrs vibrated against the sensitive bud that absorbed his focus. 

“Oh Gods,” you whimpered, the table splintering under your claws as the heat built in your belly. How had you never had a lover purr for you like this before? Your hips rolled, curses for all your past lovers failings slipping away. “Cl….cllooossse! O-ohh….Oodh!” 

The pressure was maddening, the whole of your core throbbing as you teetered. It was close, so close! You could feel how your sex throbbed, beckoning to be filled. Your mind melted into more, more, more until-

He stopped. 

“No! N-no...nono, noo-ooo, O-Odh why!?” You squirmed, voice barely more than a mewl as your legs kicked behind his head. You tried to curl forward to grab at his hair, unable to do much with the majority of your body being lifted off the table still. A slick smirk danced across his lips and you wanted nothing more than to shove his mouth back where it once was. “I-I was...sssooo close! Wh...why would you..?” 

“Prrrecious little thing...you trrrruly think I would let you be spent so soon?” He licked his lips, slow and deliberate as he seemed to savor the remnants of your taste. “I’ve yet to even begin with you.”

Your body reconnected with the table, legs still in the air as U’odh held them to his chest. He pressed forward, the wet mess of your near orgasm soaking into his pants. It was impossible to resist the urge to grind your hips at the feeling of his clothed erection against you. The man’s ears flicked, a small grunt and shiver telling you that the friction worked at making him lose just a fraction of control. 

Your shoes were tossed with another promise for replacements that you hardly cared about hearing. All focus was on how you squirmed against him--to feel as much as possible as he worked off the tattered clothes from your hips. There was hunger in his movements that grew with each successful grind. He eyed you as a predator would, claws making simple work out of your shirt as they would if you’d been nothing more than prey beneath him. 

The thought was shamefully exciting. 

The air was cold against the heat of your skin, breasts bare to him. An instinctual reach to cover yourself was halted with a growl, U’odh eyeing you as he pressed your wrist to the table above your head.

“You don’t hide frrrom yourr Nunh, Prrretty thing. I get to see all of you.” His words came out as a hiss, head ducking down to take a sensitive nipple in his mouth. The harsh bang of your body jolting echoed in your head as U’odh worked both wrists into one hand. His free hand explored, claws dragging along your skin until he reached the breast his mouth left unattended. 

“I-I’m ss-Sorry, Oh-dh!” Your voice breaking as he nipped at the underside of your breast, sucking at it until you felt a mark bloom. Each jolt from his attention caused your hips to grind together, his cock teasing through even the thick layers of his pants. 

The seeker shifted, mouth taking in the nipple that had been pinched between his fingers. Every ilm burned, his hand dipping along your naked torso until it was no longer touching you. There was a sort of rattle and the sound of fabric dropping was registered. Your ears swiveled, trying desperately to locate the source--you’d been stripped bare already...what cloth had he removed? 

The press of his hips was a simple answer, the belts and fabric that had been wrapped around him no longer in the way. The outline of him was unbearably clear now, the head of his cock almost teasing to press into you already, and a bold desire sparked inside your chest. 

Squirming, you managed to loosen his grip, breaking your wrists from his grasp with a sudden tug that seemed to throw him off. U’odh may have taken on the role of your Nunh, but you were still a warrior and to forget that would be his own error. 

The wood of the table scraped along your spine as you slid forward, the press of his hips allowing his cock to slip along your torso. You wanted, for a moment, to feel it against every ilm of your body. The Nunh took a forced step back once your knees hit the floor, his tail fluttering behind him. A thick brow raised as he watched you, his gaze locked with your own as you felt pride in surprising the experienced man. 

Your right hand clung to the leg of his pants, left slipping around the thick girth that pressed desperately against the fabric that contained it. A shy tongue lapped over the fabric, tasting cotton-soaked need from your own sex being pressed against him. He snarled, hissing at the touch as he bent forward. The smell of his cock was strong, the pheromones rooting themselves deep within you as you nuzzled into his groin. If he hadn’t triggered your heat before, it was certainly happening now. 

“Odh...my Nunh…” You spoke with a gasp, mind hazy as your actions were now melting into simple instinct. There was no want for anything more than what was efficient, his pants pulled just low enough for his cock to be free. 

The smell was everything now: your thoughts, cravings, and wants all focused on the scent alone. Air tasted of U’odh Nunh’s heat, the sight of him making your head spin. Tia you had seen before, but what was before you made what you had known seem like a cheap imitation. 

The Nunh was thick, red slick skin already wet from the pre-cum that dripped out of the tapered tip. Small bumps seemed to line its length, ending at the base of his cock where his knot was. 

Oh Gods, the knot. 

Every bit of him was shaped to breed, the angled tip lining up perfectly for the task, you imagined. It made you shake, imagining the volumes of cum that he would press into your core. The hole his precum was leaking from was sizable, easily fitting the tip of a curious tongue, U’odh groaning as he gripped the table’s edge as your thoughts filled solely with the thick taste. Your hands became slick with a single stroke of the length, both being used to encompass the full girth of his knot. 

“Currrrrrious thing arrrren’t you?” U’odh released the table with one hand, stroking the top of your head as you looked up at him. He shivered at the sight, the tip of his cock still in your mouth and your pupils blown as wide as his own. Your ears twitched in thought; there was an innocence in the way you attended him. Your head shifted, turning to different angles to better feel the shape with both lips and tongue, caring little for the noisy nature of your curiosity. The odd scrape of the teeth made him hiss, gripping the top of your head between your ears. “Do you like the taste, Prrretty thing?”

A whimpered groan was all that could be managed, the thought of taking the Nunh’s cock fully out of your mouth rejected entirely. It was so warm, the pre-cum being swallowed thickly with each bob of your head. U’odh remained still, giving you control over the little experiment until your boldness grew--he was much too entertained by your curiosity to stop it.

In a daring movement, you pushed forward, mouth stretching as much as it could as the tip of his cock pressed to the back of your throat. His knot was close, the puffs of air from your nose hitting the sensitive bulge. The Nunh twitched, hips thrusting forward on instinct and choking you as the knot pressed fully into your nose. He tugged you back from your hair, his cock fully springing out with a pop from your lips. 

“Odh,” you whimpered, tongue still hanging past your lips and curling towards the cock. Put it back, put it back, put it back--

“Darrrring arrren’t you? To take so much yourrr firrrst time with a Nunh--you certainly have the attitude of a Prrrrimal slayerrr.” He jerked your head back, forcing your gaze up and away from his sex. The grip on your hair was rough, your tail flicking in response to the pain infused pleasure of it. His own seemed to be moving a lot behind him as well, glimpses of white catching your eye as you tried to look down your nose--trying desperately to see the twitching cock before you. 

Thoughts of anything other than his cock were few and far between, the heat radiating from it still near your skin. It hit your throat most of all, the idea of swallowing it consuming your being. A hand reached up only to be smacked back by the Nunh. He growled, another tug of your hair drawing out a whimper. When was he going to give it back? 

A hiss slipped past your lips as something wet hit your breasts. U’odh had taken his cock in the hand that had pushed yours away, a small stroke encouraging more precum to dribble out. It dripped onto your skin, setting it on fire as it slid along the curve of your breasts and over the perk of your nipple. Without much thought, the hand he’d rejected reached up and rubbed the thick fluid into your skin, eyes slipping closed as you moaned with an open mouth.

“You arre darrring,” U’odh decided, watching the sight of you. It was shameful--the great warrior reduced to a squirming mess as you pressed your thighs together. The other hand joined now, both breasts being massaged with his precum. It was slick, the smell dizzying and warmth wonderful. You barely registered the tut-tut he gave. “Naughty as well...to think I’m the firrrst Nunh to have you….”

Cock still in hand, he gave the length another stroke before using it to smack your face, regaining your attention. A single eye opened, vision utterly glazed over as the heat against your cheek pressed. You tried to lick the length near the edge of your mouth, unable to fully turn with his grip still in your hair. He watched with clear amusement as you chose to instead nuzzle into his cock, nose bumping against its heat. All rational seemed to be completely faded away, an afterthought to the craving of more, more, more. His grip loosened.

“Tell me, adventurrrerr, what is it you want? What would please my prrrecious little loverr?” 

But a single bell ago, you would have answered differently. Aid in slaying Titan, perhaps, is what you would have said. His approval as one of five from the Company of Heroes, even. A single bell ago, those things mattered, but not now.

“Youuu,” was the answer instead. “Brrrrrreed me, my Nunh.” You spoke in a sigh, your head turning so that the underside of the sensitive knot could be covered in fluttering kisses. U’odh chuckled, a pleased purr rumbling in his chest as your eye slipped closed once more. He let your hair go completely now, returning to the gentle strokes over your sensitive ears as you squirmed at his feet. 

“Then I will tell you again, my prrrretty little thing: prrresent yourrself to me.” The words themselves sent a wave through you, an unrestrained moan escaping as one last drag of your tongue traced his cock’s length. It would be where it belonged soon-oh so soon.

Your legs shook as you stood, U’odh holding you up by your arms as you leaned against him. Your lips continued a trail along his skin, clumsy and disorganized over his chest. The scars of his past victories earned your tongue, tracing the lines and punctuating each with another kiss. The man let you cling to him as he stripped the remaining clothes with quick ease, progress hindered only by the groan as your mouth stopped at his chest. A clever tongue flicked his nipple as it was revealed with the discarding of his shirt, the gesture returned with a nip at your ear.

He grabbed your hips, turning you both so your back was to the door and his to the table. He gave a single sharp order: “Turrn.” You did just that, knees weak as you realized that you were now facing the door. It hadn’t been locked, had it? At any moment, it could be swung wide open and you would be seen completely. The realization was exciting, the rattling shiver it sent through you making you drop to all fours before the Nunh. 

Your breath hitched as you heard the Seeker drop behind you and grabbed you by the sensitive nape of your neck, your face pressed into the rug. You arched on instinct, ass high in the air and tail lifted even higher and curling out of the Nunh’s way. He laughed, a single finger sliding along your slick folds. “To think you werrre so shy beforre. Has the embarrrrasment passed?”

Words failed, and you could only reply with a whine as U’odh chuckled once more. It was embarrassing, but the maddening need of your freshly triggered heat didn’t care for what made you feel embarrassed or not. All that mattered was that you had more, more, more.

“O-Odh….” you managed when he pressed against you. Still, he did not fill you. Instead, his cock was rubbed along your slit, the tip pressing into your clit and making your body spasm as your thighs became drenched in the mixture of fluids from you both. “M...my Nunh….Please….”

“Such a strrrong herrro you arrre...and yet here you arrre, rrrreduced to such a cute little kit beneath me…” His tail flicked, tickling your leg as it swept past. Everything about you felt so aware as you focused, desperate to feel every ilm of him entering you. 

At first, you worried he may deny you such pleasure, the tip of his cock instead pressing against your hole and simply rubbing barely a quarter of an ilm as his pre-cum circled the tight entrance. It was agony, his grip on the nape of your neck holding you down as his other hand gripped your tail and made you yowl. You couldn’t even move backwards, locked in place by his hold. 

“O-Odh….M...My Nunh….p...p-puhllleeease…” You cried, tail curling and flicking in the air. “I...you have….you have to...put it...put it inside…” Why wasn’t he? Surely he wouldn’t leave you at such a miserable edge, not while he was in his heat as well. “Y-You...you said you...w-wuh...would...be my...my Nunh.”

“I did, didn’t I? Prrrretty little kit, I think a night may not be enough forrrr you…” Finally, an ilm. Your breath hitched, eyes wide and fingers digging at the rug. It was finally there, the heat of the first ilm of five snug inside your cunt. Four more, and the delicious knot would be next. “Perrrrhaps I should keep you....I wouldn’t want to make the same mistake yourrrr trrribe made.”

Another half ilm, and your tail thumped against his chest. Were all Nunh this cruel? You weren’t sure you could handle such torment. He didn’t move either, instead opting to remain painfully still as you tried to squirm, fidget, wiggle--anything to get even an onze of friction. Still, you tried to think about what he said.

“I...I have to...Th-There was suh...something I…” Why did you say only a night? Why not stay forever? The question rattled for only a moment, the rumble of U’odh’s chuckle being felt even through the connection of your sex with his. 

“Oh yes, that’s rrrright. Poorrr little thing….you have prrrrimals to slay, don’t you?” He teased, a mischievous lilt to his voice. Any response you could have made was cut short by another half ilm: two now, two whole ilms were inside and there were just a little more than three now-

You should have cared more for what he said or even for the reason you were there in the first place. Instead, the cycle of more, more, more spoke over your thoughts. Still, he didn’t move, intent on waiting for your response before granting you any more of his cock.

“R-rrrrri-AH-ight,” you jolted as he squeezed the base of your tail. Your claws hooked into the rug as you dragged them down, trying desperately to create more movement between the two of you. “T-Titan...I ha-avve to...ssssssslaay the….prrrrimal…”

“How arrre you planning to accomplish that? Do you plan to fuck the Prrrrimal? Just look at you…” U’odh hummed, your tail curling up the arm that held it. He pulled you back onto another ilm and you moaned openly at the way the girth began to stretch your cunt to its shape. “Prrrretty thing, rrrreduced to nothing morrre than a hungrrry little kit begging forrr a sweet. Don’t you want morrrre?” 

“Yes!” You gasped out immediately, your eyes snapping open at the sound of the word more. You pushed to lift yourself, trying to look back at the Nunh. He stopped you, the grip on your nape tightening as he pressed you back down to the floor. Try as you might, the cruel grip on your tail held your hips still, stopping any attempts at moving towards the Nunh to take in more, shame long since forgotten. “Y-Yees-oh, Odh, please--! Please, mmorrrre! Y-Yuh….Y-Youu said….plee-aahze!” He laughed as you begged, and allowed you the third full ilm. 

“Prrrretty kit...Prrrrecious mate...don’t you want to have this everrrry season? To be brred and fucked so wonderrrrfully?” The Nunh leaned in, much as he could without pressing his hips closer, and tugged you back to arch closer as he spoke into your flickering ear. “Say the worrrd, prrrretty thing, and you will be mine. Everrrry season I’ll fill you and you won’t even have to beg.”

The promise made you sob, all sound halting in your arched throat. The fourth ilm entered even slower than the last, pausing momentarily after only half of the full ilm before he continued. Your foot thumped uselessly against the floor as you felt your sanity leave in waves. It was thick, yet you felt yourself stretch over his girth with more ease anything you’d ever done in your life. It made little sense to you, how the thick size of it could slide inside of you without so much as a single onze of resistance, the only lubrication needed being your mutual arousal. Yet, on another note, it made perfect sense how he filled you.

He was your Nunh now, after all, and as your Nunh, it was simply his job to give more, more, more. U’odh rocked, ever so slightly, with those four ilms he let you have. Finally, some friction. Still, you needed more, more, more! It wasn’t enough yet, not until his knot was fully inside. 

“Y...yes…Yes! Yes, I’ll...ah...ah I’ll...I’ll be yours a-and...you...Your kits!” The words spilled from your mouth, rapid and clumsy as you tried to urge him. Desperate to convince him to fuck you already. “I-I’ll give...so many...as...mme….ma...many...as you... want! I’ll...have...a-all th..the kits...you want…Y-You’ll...be their Daddy! A-All you want! P-Please, Odh! By the t-Twelve just….just fuck me!” 

The final ilm hit you without pause. U’odh tightened his grip back onto the nape of your neck, claws digging into the sensitive skin as your face was practically slammed hard into the floor as the other hand tugged your tail back into his thrust. The feeling made you choke, eyes rolling back as you felt whole. 

“Thhhaa….thaank...yu...yoouuuhh! Th-thank..y-you...sssshoo mmuch, Daddy~!” You moaned, a messy smile fucked onto your face as he thrusted again and again, more and more and more. Your tongue lulled, drool finding its way down your cheek and onto the rug. The Seeker grunted, his grip on your tail loose enough now that you could finally move along with him. 

“Mmmnf...oh-Odh...gi-give...y-your kits! I-I’ll make you...a Daddy! Again! And again! A-All you want! Mmmy Nunh!”

“Prrrretty thing--” U’odh groaned, pressing his chest to your back as he fucked you. “Prrrretty thing….you arrre so filthy-”

“Y-yea-uh,” you agreed, hardly caring if it were true or not. His cock pressed inside so deep like this, the knot hitting your clit with each thrust. When had you learned to move your hips like this anyways….? “A-Ah...aahh-abso...lutely!”

“Ha..have you...everrr felt...so good?” His breath was on your nape, his other hand moved from the base of your tail to your ass. U’odh squeezed as he helped you fuck yourself on his cock. His own breath was coming out more rigid than before, the hot air tickling you. “P-Prrretty thing...t...tell me...what you want.”

“Cummm! Cum and k-kits. Mmmaake me...m-mommy and...y-you can be...D-Daddy-!” Gods, your throat was hoarse, mouth dry as you tried to swallow down more air. Your breasts ached, the friction of the rug resembling the rough tongue of a Miqo’te against your nipples. For a moment, you thought to contain yourself--to try and quiet your cries and moans. You were still facing the Gods damned door. Surely whatever whorish noises you were making escaped the hut easily, yet only a small portion of you cared. 

Who cared who walked in? Worst they could do is join or simply watch, marveled by the sight as U’odh’s cock pressed against your core. How you wished you could see it yourself: the sight of his cock’s length burying itself inside your heat as he rutted against you. Surely your cunt would be red with the abuse, his knot threatening to enter you. You felt your hips roll at the thought, tongue curling as the image of another Seeker joining, whether it be another female to be bred by U’odh or a Tia to suck. All that mattered was that you felt more, more, more.

Lost in thought, you’d failed to realize just how close the knot was getting to filling you until a final hard thrust popped the knot through your tight entrance. It was all so much, the entirety of your being burning as toes curled and eyes rolled back and fluttered. The knot filled and locked you under him, his grip on your neck releasing and moving to your hips. For a moment, you thought to ask why he’d let go, the pressure on your nape being wonderful.

U’odh didn’t allow such a question to form.

His teeth sank into your nape, the sensitive skin screaming at the attention. He sucked hard, bruising and marking the spot you were claimed. The cry that erupted from your throat was foreign, your body quaking. U’odh moaned loudly into your neck, his body shivering as your orgasm made your cunt squeeze his cock and knot. 

Still, he continued to thrust into your sensitive heat. Your tail curled around him, joining his as each movement sent another wave of pleasure through you, your belly twisting with another orgasm threatening. Moans and cries escaped without shame and by the Twelve you hoped the whole tribe knew. You, an outsider, were bred first for the season. The thought made you grin into the floor, any other responsibility long forgotten as U’odh stilled and pressed. Your eyes closed as he growled, blissful as you focused on the way his knot throbbed with each glob of cum he released into your cunt. If you tried to focus, you could feel it traveling along the length of his shaft too, pulsing deep at the core of you as you were bred. 

“O-Odh….mmm...my Nunh,” you sighed happily as he released your nape, the cool feeling of his tongue lapping over the blooming mark being followed by a kiss. He trailed along your spine as he rolled himself back into an upright position behind you, claws releasing your hips as the pads of his thumbs massaged into your skin. His knot remained inside, your recent orgasm still throbbing over him. He purred, hummed, and ran his hands along the curve of your back. He massaged the mark, pleased to show the world how you’d been bred. 

“Prrrrrrecious thing...oh how I want to keep you…” You gave a content flick of your tail in response, humming along with him. His hands continued to travel along you, rubbing and pressing along your spine. It ached, to be in such a position, but you lacked the strength to even try to lift yourself. “Perrrrrhaps...when you arre done being a herrrro.”

“Don’t….wanna be a hero….I want...more of that,” you confessed with a mumble. The Nunh chuckled as he let himself nestle behind you, sitting back on the floor. Your hips followed, the connection between your bodies still intact as he pulled you up. A sigh escaped as your eyes closed, his arms wrapping around you. The man held you close to his chest, a hand absentmindedly rubbing your stomach. The front of you was cold, your back soaking in body tingling warmth from the Nunh. You rested your own hand over his. 

“My prrrecious adventurrrerr...you will always have plenty of time afterrr, just as I do,” He spoke softly, nuzzled into your neck as his purr vibrated against your shoulders. “I will wait...and brrreed you when such a time comes. You’ll be filled with kits next I get my claws on you,” he promised. The idea of it, though it was not something you’d entertained before, was wonderful.

“Verrrry well,” you purred back, nuzzling back into him as your tails danced together, twisting together. “But….”

“But?” An eye cracked open to meet his curious gaze from over your shoulder. You grinned. 

“You said a night...did you not? I don’t think the sun has even set yet, my Nunh.” You felt a wide, fanged grin against your neck. U’odh shifted, kissing the back of one of your ears. “If you are to give me such a powerful tincture in the morning...should we not ensure it is well worth the use?”

“Aye, I did say that...and I am a man of my worrrrd.” The man grinned, eyes filled with the kind of mischief and energy only a Tia could rival. “I hope you have plenty of time to rrrrest anotherrrr day, prrretty thing. You’ll not have any tonight if we arrrre to test the strrrrength of the tincturrrre.” 

You squirmed, feeling his knot finally pop out and the thick puddle of cum soak your thighs. Twas no loss, not with how much was to come anyways. Twisting around on his lap, you straddled him and pressed your chest into the warmth of his. His lips claimed yours, tongue teasing and swiping at your fangs as he leaned forward, your back slowly meeting the floor as his hands wandered. 

Forgetting such a night would prove impossible.

In the morning that followed, you would indeed consume the tincture, ensuring no kits this season. Still, you’d leave with U’odh’s word that he would aid you, new armor to protect you, and a sly grin as you stole one more kiss before returning to your role as the Warrior of Light. There would be but a single thought in your mind.  

You would have to return next season for certain, and for no less than two nights.

[scouthearted]

“That Time A Ghost Tried To Kill Me” I’m curious about that story too but I need to ask, what the hell? Is magic attracted to you or something bc damn the fey seem to love u

Frankly, god I wanna know too. It hasn’t happened as much since I moved cities again, maybe it was partially location-based.

Story copy/pasted from the same post!

Alrighty then time for what is without a doubt my scariest magical encounter and also my first noticeable one. All the backstory you need for this one is one, that at the time I was eighteen years old in my senior year of high school and living with my mom (who worked a lot), then-stepdad, and three of my brothers in a fairly large city in Georgia. Two, there’s legends… maybe not legends as they’re too close to me to be legends… that both sides of my family are highly spirit sensitive and many of them can see ghosts. As a younger person, I never believed that in the slightest and thought it was bullshit, because I’ve always been very spirit blind in a family where that’s downright unusual (and before you make references to certain Stiefvater novels, I’ve heard them all already).

My family had moved to Georgia about a year before so my stepdad could be closer to his family and so my mom’s health might improve due to the nicer weather. We were originally in a different apartment, but that one actually started falling down the hill it was built on, so we were moved into another building in the same complex. It was a surprising adjustment. This new building had flooding issues and it also just felt damn weird, but it was better than, yknow, a building falling down a hill, so we dealt with it. We even dealt with it when I would walk in the kitchen and loaves of bread and boxes of cereal would fall on my head. Huh, I decided, I must be a heavy walker, or else this apartment is ALSO falling down a hill and is a little bit tilted.

And then the books started also falling when I walked past one of the many bookshelves in the home. I had a sore head almost constantly and began to avoid the bookshelves (believe me, I was tearing through the school library anyway, rereading things I’d already read could wait). I wrote it off again.

One night, I was in my room writing… I feel like it must have been November, because NaNoWriMo is the only reason I would have to lock myself in my room and write for hours. My stepdad knocked on the door and when I told him to come in, he asked why I was knocking around in the laundry room so late at night. I told him I’d only been writing and offered to show him my progress as proof, but he swore there was a woman in there and my mother was asleep, so who else could it be? After a few moments of a standoff and us realizing it didn’t really matter, he left, and I resumed my writing.

About a month after that, I was sleeping when I woke up to something distinctly like the smell and sound of popcorn popping. I look up and my lamp (which was off because, yknow, sleeping) is on fire. Legitimate sparking and flames fire. So I do what every kindergartener is taught and I run through the halls of my apartment saying “GET UP EVERYONE THERE’S A FIRE IN MY ROOM” and my mom and stepdad rush towards the fire. As soon as my stepdad steps in, the fire flickers, sputters, and dies. I’m told to go toss the lamp in the dumpster and go back to bed. Faulty wiring. Okay.

About two weeks after THAT, I am leaving my room when the window falls out and onto my bed. I’m talking glass panes, frames, the entire window. Okay, faulty building. Same apartment complex where a building fell down a hill, remember? We call maintenance and they fix it. We double check the work because goddamn if they didn’t say they fixed the dishwasher only to have it break again, so. This is truly, really fixed, however.

Except three days later, I’m sitting on my bed when I hear an insistent voice and feel a tug on my arm. “Get up. NOW.” Instinctively, I stand and move away from my bed. Just in time for the window to again fall and this time shatter, the heavy glass landing all around my bed and my room. I’m only just out of range. It hits me that this would have killed me if I didn’t get up at the second I did.

So at this point, I start freaking out and I call my best friend at the time, who happens to be a self-professed witch. I’m crying and freaking out and she talks me through how to purify spaces. I use a whole big round cylinder thing of kitchen salt. And the thing is? It seems to work. Everything stops. I sleep on the couch for a week because I’m scared and want to be sure, but everything is back to normal, and the worst part is that I’m completely out of excuses for what has happened.

About four months after this purification, the bread starts falling on me again. At this point, however, the flooding has gotten Too Much and we’ve been told we’re being moved once again. At the new apartment, nothing happens. It feels safe.

There’s two epilogues to this one. The first one is in talking to my mother a few months later. “There was definitely something in that apartment. I saw her standing at the foot of my bed, and she threw things at me, too. I didn’t know she was haunting you as well. I didn’t want to scare you.”

The second one is in talking to my grandmother a few years later, after moving to PA. “Of course that place was haunted!” she said. “Ghosts feed on energy. Teenage energy. Electronic energy. Your apartment had plenty, with three teenagers and all that modern technology. Was it near a stream, you say, they like water, too…”

“Oh god. The flooding.”

“There was flooding? You’re lucky you’re alive.”

“Boy, do I know it.”

And basically that’s how I kind of got over myself and realized my family wasn’t as weird as I thought and also how a ghost almost succeeded in ending me.

[death---dealer]

My Love. [Roger Taylor.]

me? the angst queen? don’t even get me STARTED. Reblogs / Likes are always appreciated. Stay awesome. Love you. - Miss Em.

Title: My Love. Pairing: BoRhap! Roger Taylor x Fem!Reader. Words: 3,405. Rating: T. ( Very angsty, language, cheating. ) Summary: Roger was what a lot of people called a serial cheater. You thought he’d changed. But, did he really? [This is Part one of two.]

READ IT ON MY AO3.

It was strange. You genuinely felt like you should have yelled, thrown something, shoved the girl off of your ‘boyfriend’ as they both came drunkenly stepping into the hotel room you were waiting in. His hotel room. Freddie had given you a spare key so you could properly surprise Roger on tour, knowing just how hard being thousands of miles apart truly was because you were one half of the relationship that the miles were taking a very serious toll on. You were coping by letting yourself be lonely, letting yourself cry yourself to sleep some nights after he’d call you just to chat between the end of the show and the eagerness to leave on the tour bus to get to the next city, you walked around your flat, almost helpless at the way you were feeling. At the bitter sensation that you could almost feel Roger’s arms ghosting around your waist and dancing you towards him like you so often did. He himself… Very obviously coped in one way that you were warned about from a few other girls, which could have caused your lack of reaction as you looked at the girl holding onto Roger’s bicep, her clean and well done nails pressing into his skin, the make-up clad look she gave you out of confusion, her red lips parting as if she were going to as Roger who you were, the high heeled feet stumbling a bit in a drunken state that if she moved forward or made any sort of action, you’d be sure to smell the alcohol. Physically, you saw Roger’s eyebrows raise in shock at the fact that you were there, sitting on his bed-- well-- now standing and grabbing a small bag off the floor which he deduced slowly was in fact your luggage. A nine hour flight for this bullshit, you thought, refusal to even associate yourself with him any longer blundered into your actions. You hadn’t intended to stay long, only one or two days with the very foolish notion that perhaps, Roger was missing you just as much as you were. You were a fool to believe anything he said anymore, now or in the past.

I miss y o u.

Okay? But, did you really, Roger?

I had a dream about y o u.

That’s a lie, Roger. Stop lying to me.

I can’t want to get home and kiss y o u.

You’re not allowed to kiss me anymore.

This tour is killing me, I just want to see y o u.

I never want to see you again, Roger.

There’s only y o u.

There never was just you and me. I just let myself fall in love and lulled myself to believe that it was just us.

I love y o u.

That is the biggest load of bullshit.

Numb, that was a good way to put it. You were very numb and you had no instant recollection of grabbing your things, looking at the girl holding onto the arm you knew so well that your fingers twitched as you remembered how it felt to trace the muscles he’s built up from years upon years of beating a drum, walking passed the two of them with Roger’s blue eyes holding onto your body, searching for something that you were no longer going to give him. He had lost everything from you. He had lost those early morning laughs when the two of you were too tired to get out of bed and do anything, those last minute kisses from you as you refused to let him leave the flat without saying a proper goodbye, those late nights when he’d come home from the studio on the verge of tears because he knew what he signed up for, but it was still hard and frustrating… The chance to leave a nasty thing behind for a loving and reciprocating relationship. 

All it. Void in that moment. Oddly, as you looked into his eyes finally and let one of your hands push the semi-opened door all the way so you could leave, you felt like a receipt. Transaction completed, next in line, you heard Roger’s voice in your head as his pink lips parted in desperation to say something. But, he couldn’t think fast enough. Couldn’t manage an excuse as to why he had brought a very obvious girl who knew who he was because Roger had a tendency of talking himself up to be more important that he was, who knew what they were going to get into even if it was going to be mediocre. He was never as great as he wanted to believe when drunk, in fact, he got sloppy and impatient. Roger brought all of this back to his hotel room at nearly one in the morning.

“Who was that?” Your ears picked up on the sound of the ditzy girl before the door clicked shut completely. You didn’t get Roger’s answer but you could still imagine what he said for you stood by the oak door, waiting, your face null of any emotion. You almost felt dead in the sense that all your memories with Roger felt like they were flashing before your eyes yet you found almost no sympathy for them. All of the kisses were a lie, all of the times you told him you loved him, while true to every letter of the phrase, very well could have meant nothing to him. You knew Roger’s answer to the girls inquiry and it was plastered in your skull like a banner because you had heard it so many times, in different varieties. It’s nothing, love. I’m doing nothing, love. I’m going nowhere, love, just out and about. ‘That was no one, love.’ Love this, love that. 

Lifting a hand, you made an almost orchestration gesture with your hand as if you were throwing those phrases carved into you by Roger himself away. You were never his love, you were never his. You wanted to push that door open and shout at him, but even that wasn’t good enough for what Roger had done. You wanted one thing and one thing only. To tear him down into tiny pieces fluttering into the air carelessly, almost like ash from a fire as you watch him burn into oblivion. You wanted to crush him into those tiny shards of glass that he was never going to be able to pick up without bleeding. They’re going to sink into his skin and cut him deeper, straight to the veins of his heart, more hurtful and bitter than any word or phrase was going to be able to captivate because there’s always going to be a small part of him that belonged to you, whether he wanted to admit that to himself now or live with the guilt that he had lost you. 

Your fingers twitched with want to grab him by his collarbone and slice into his chest, grabbing his heart and force him to watch you as you danced around with it in your hand, your grip getting tighter and tighter every time you caught eyes with him just to encapsulate the feelings that he gave you in this very moment. You would made it last though. This… What had happened only minutes ago took what seemed like an age to process, in fact it was still processing vividly in your mind as the scoring fact that he hadn’t opened the door behind you to go after you sunk deep into the crevices of your dead mind, and you’d make his payback last just as long, if not longer.

You wanted to, oh god you wanted to…

A lump in your throat that you hadn’t felt before rose and seemingly blocked your way from swallowing, giving you the sensation that if you took a step or moved in any sudden way you would automatically get sick. So, you stood there awkwardly in the dim-fluorescent lights of a hotel that was on the cheaper side, but still, nice if you cared about that sort of superficial things. The weight of your bag held down your shoulders like an anchor to the ground otherwise you were sure some sort of irrationality would bang on the door of your mind and you’d recklessly let it in, strangling you into doing something ridiculous out of retaliation. While there were so many things you were craving to do now, alone and frozen, you wanted to sleep more than anything. Maybe, if you slept, you’d forget all of this happened and you could go back home without saying anything, without being there for Roger anymore and just let him slide under the table as another lover as he so thoughtfully done for you over the space of your relationship. A sniffle escaped your body, the first sound that you finally made since seeing Roger’s face, still heavily ingrained into your thoughts.

‘What are you so surprised about?’ You wanted to ask him when his lips parted even more than they were, the cigarette between them dropping to the floor. ‘If it didn’t happen now, I’d have found out eventually.’ You imagined yourself saying as you recalled his slight sputtering upon seeing you, taking that extra step forward and almost covering the girl who was with him as if that wasn’t going to raise more questions. ‘She’s pretty, just your type.’ You wished you had the courage to actually say these things, just to hurt him more in the faux fashion that you didn’t care as much as he wanted to think. That would hurt him, you thought to yourself and wiped at your nose with the back of your sleeve.

Roger felt he was special; everyone and anyone wanted him because he was indeed talented and very good looking, but when you took those away, you were left with an insecure boy who lashed out any opportunity he got because he was so deathly afraid of anyone getting to know the reality of who he was. The severity of who he truly was. You had the opportunity to knock him off his high horse and say ‘hey, I didn’t actually love you after all this time because our relationship was built on lies and deception and I see that now. Have a good life whoring yourself out to any girl who gives you the slightest bit of attention. I’m through.’ You wished… Goodness, you wished you had the guts to have said that to him, to pretend that you didn’t feel your heart shatter into a thousand sand pieces right onto the floor of that hotel room.

“(Name)?” That was a very familiar voice that enunciated well, smooth and proper. Your mouth popped open as you glanced to your left to see if it was who you thought it was. Brian. The mess of curls caught the light and shone lightly, his face feigned concern and mild confusion as to why you were standing so silently like a statue outside of Roger’s hotel room. Why weren’t you inside with him? “Oh, god, you’ve scared me! Thought you were a ghost, just standing here all stiff. I didn’t expect to see you here---” He stopped speaking upon seeing the expression on your face.

A dropping face where the smile you managed to give him was so forced that it was painful for Brian to experience second-hand, redness around your eyes as you were still trying desperately to keep the tears from rolling down your cheeks and dropping off your chin. But, that was long forgotten when he caught eyes with you, the charade was over. It had been done and processed and it was time to break down in the only way you knew how. Crying. Your neck convulsed with the wall of tears that suddenly stung at the back of your throat and eyes, one more pitiful attempt to stop yourself from crying but it was all in vain. “Oh, fuck, (Name).” Brian himself was never great with girls who cried in front of him. He never knew what was proper etiquette in his attempts to calm them down unless he were dating them because that gave him more freedoms and more opportunity to touch and soothe in any way possible. The tears came flooding from your eyes though in fat rolls and Brian panicked momentarily, “What’s wrong? What happened? Do you- do you need me to get Roger?”

Hearing his name made it worse, you realized, hiccuping and raising your hands to cover your face as you shook your head no. No! You wanted to tell Brian, don’t get Roger, I don’t want him to see me like this, it’ll only give him more power to know that he broke my heart! No, no, no, no… “Here---” You felt his arm shroud you as if he were protecting you from anyone else seeing you in such a state. Brian was a friend and had been since you started dating Roger a year ago. He’d always been there for you during your arguments with the drummer which were consistent enough that you considered Brian’s couch back home a second bed. He’d console you in the best way he knew, telling you what you wanted to hear before reminding you that well… If you were going to be with Roger, you needed to remember that he was very difficult and not just a walk in the park. There was always going to be turmoil whether you wanted it or not, or some sort of never-ending drama because Roger had a knack for attracting it. “My room is down the hall, can you make it or---” There was nothing but a wordless nod as you let Brian take the lead. Tears were spilling onto your lips and as you peeked your tongue out to wet them properly, you tasted the saltiness and cringed just a bit. You’d never like the taste of tears, especially ones with such bitter intent to remind you of all that had happened tonight and presumably all that was going to happen as you knew you had to push your way through sobbing to explain to Brian what had happened.

This time was different… While you had your bickers with Roger before, usually over petty little things like who needed to do the dishes or you wishing he were home more, this was off-the-wall for Brian to give advice on. What did you want him to say? The guitarist thought to himself, unlocking his hotel room door and swinging it open. With a hand on the small of your back, he urged you forward, flicking the light on by the door and letting it click shut behind the two of you once you were both inside. You seemed to linger almost lifelessly by Brian, hoping that in some way or another, he’d guide you into what you were supposed to do next. What were you supposed to do? While you had imagined going home and forgetting all of this, that, you were certain, would not happen. You lived with Roger. You shared a home, you shared domestic memories that were casually up-rooted by your idea of being spontaneous and surprising him on tour. He gestured to the bed as the two of you lingered for a second in that space between the actual room and the door. You didn’t dare look at yourself in the little mirror on the wall there, already hyper aware that you were jetlagged, tired and now sobbing uncontrollably and that was not something you wanted to partake in. Now, Brian was no fool, though he often times turned the other cheek when it came to Roger’s rather womanizing ways. He paid little attention to it for it was a lifestyle choice he didn’t find as appealing as the drummer. The prospect of having a woman and then throwing them away was something Brian didn’t seek to do; he had too much empathy. Upon seeing you in better light as you rested your bag down on the floor, taking a spot on the full sized bed of his, he felt something sink indescribably within his stomach, as if he had swallowed a large spoonful of the most ill tasting soup imaginable.

In a simple way, though he wouldn’t tell you this outloud for he was sure you already knew, you looked absolutely awful. While your eyes were so often full of happiness and joy whenever you were around Brian, they were almost cold and distant and he found it hard to read anything in them as you gazed up at him tiredly. Your lips refused to tug into a smile, even if you were forcing it. The one he had previously gotten from you in the hallway was hardly an expression of cheerfulness and was more agonizing on the eyes than you probably thought. It was the sort of face that you tried to give him right then and there but tears were still falling from your eyes. Your nose scrunched before your entire face balled up completely and Brian finally sought solace as he sat beside you, the bed shifting and squeaking a bit with the added weight. “You’ve got to tell me what happened if you want me to help you, otherwise I can’t do anything…”

You gestured nonsensically and if someone where to walk in at that moment, they probably thought you to be mildly insane as nothing came out of your mouth but a long wail, wavering in tiny vibrato. The sound stopped- you were left to cry silently, already to the point where you were crying too hard to make any noises other than the occasional gag as you caught your breath on the lump in your throat. Brian had rested a hand on your back softly, just to remind you that he was there and not going anywhere anytime soon, at least, until you stopped crying and maybe managed to rest on his bed. You were rendered speechless, holding your head in your hands and leaning into Brian without hesitation. There was nothing to lose anymore, nothing to bargain, nothing to bet or wager. You’d lost it all and at this point, you just wanted someone to hold onto you and mutter than things were going to be okay, that you would get passed this eventually, and that the world fucking sucked and that you had every right to be upset, even if that person didn’t know the extent of what happened.

Brian could take a hint. He trickled the hand from your back upwards so it was around your shoulder, coaxing you with the tips of his fingers to crawl properly into his touch. Which, you did. Your legs were up, you were in a ball on the bed, nuzzled into Brian’s side as he listened to you cry whilst trying to figure out what happened. Very obvious to him was the fact that you were here, in the United States. You were hanging out in front of Roger’s door with your bag, Brian hadn’t seen Roger since the beginning of the after-party for the concert, and now you were here, lonely, crying to him instead of crying to Roger. Something happened between the two of you, something… Something…. Brian tilted his head to the side and put his chin on your head, his other hand coming up to now rub your arm. Something happened between the time of the after-party to now. Had you surprised Roger and he got angry that you spent money to fly here to see him? Had Roger been drunk and stumbled into his hotel room, plastered and you were absolutely displeased with the state of--- oh.

With that thought hanging on by a thread, he put two and two together. You didn’t want to see Roger, you refused to see Roger, hearing his name seemed to trigger you even further into an abyss of tears… Brian’s eyebrows furrowed together as it locked and loaded inside of his mind. He knew what happened and he was indeed more foolish now than he had ever been for not thinking it firstly, as bad as that sounded. He knew Roger. He knew Roger’s habits and tactics. Brian knew what happened which spurred him to hold onto you that much tighter, uttering into your hair as you gripped his shirt and held him desperately. “Oh, god…”

//TAG LIST//

Permanent Queen Tag List:  @flyforeverfree @adonais @brianandthemays @attatchment-issues @wine-and-bread @fixedonroger @filmvinyls @p-eaach-es @bucket-of-kittens @im-just-me-darling @wonderless-screwup @instantezra @rvndyscousegit @queensavedmylife @sleepretreat @dove-turned-destroyer @rogers-wristbands @brianmay-rogertaylor @annistrashbin @that70skiwi @storm-howlett @pablo-thiccasso @chonkyhambs 

ROGER ONLY TAG LIST: @rissa067

If you want to be added to my tag list[s], HMU with a message!!!

[sometipsygnostalgic]

Assessing writing in homestuck: The difference between appealing characters and well-written character stories.

i was rambling about this to /u/cookiefonster in the discord earlier

theres a big difference between what qualifies as "good narrative" and "good character", even when the narrative youre discussing is focusing entirely on that character.

lets give you a couple of examples:

Terezi:

Terezi's a character who has a kind of fucked up storyline that just constantly loops back in on itself; she spends all of act 5 deciding whether to deal with Vriska or not, then gets in abusive relationships in act 6 after not being able to cope with her death. Terezi ends up with massive self esteem issues. Following from THIS, she dies, and retcons the story to undo her mistake and try to prevent the collapse of her self esteem. Sounds like an epic resolution to an arc, right?

Nope - post retcon, they brought Terezi's self esteem issues back but didn't give her the time of day to properly interact with other characters about it. She was unconfident around Vriska and insecure about her altself. Then she has a bit of a breakdown, unlocking some of the potential of her seer of mind abilities, and having a realisation of who truly is. You'd think, wow, Terezi after Remem8er is going to be interacting so much more with the other kids and FINALLY overcome her battle with depression, RIGHT?!?!

uhhh..... she doesnt say anything again until after the comic is over. then shes seen travelling through space.

When the epilogues drop she's interacting with John, they're building on top of their already amazing chemistry, they seem to understand each other like nobody else does in the entire fucking saga. Then Terezi nearly "dies" but another John finds her and they have a heart to heart before Terezi decides it's time go home.

WOOOOOW, you think, Terezi is FINALLY LEARNING TO LOVE HERSELF?!¬?!?!?! an interaction with a HEALTHY PERSON?!?!?!

Then John dies. Then Terezi hates Earth C so much and is so isolated from everybody she knows that she doesn't hesitate to join the villain in space. And it's implied Vriska texts her but she never reads those messages insofar as the canon material ends.

Overall, a rather anticlimactic story about a character whose arc is constantly recycled, not allowed to be given closure at any stage, falling into the same tragedy pit. It's like an art form of cockblocking.

So, why is Terezi as cherished as she is? How come even in the face of the ending, the epilogue, where it feels like Terezi has just been going round in circles, she is probably one of the most loved characters in homestuck?

There's a few factors:

Humor - Being able to make your audience laugh in a genuine way will put you in their favour. Terezi's dark humor, which works in tandem with her general naivete, has always been delightful.

Relevance - The part where Terezi's popularity might have actually struggled would be during Meteorstuck where she was pushed on the sidelines. Every moment she's been around after GAME OVER, however, she's been one of the most active character pushing the plot and generating excitement for whatever thing she's going to do next, even if it does become a loop. Killing John>Killing Vriska>Killing Gamzee>Retconquest>Remem8er>Finding Vriska>Finding John>Leaving with Dirk to save John>??? - she's always on some sort of mission which means if you're thinking about the plot then you might be thinking about something that ties into her storyline.

But most importantly, Authenticity - Terezi's dialogue is actually very well-written, in that she's one of the least wordy characters, but she gets exactly what she's feeling across whenever she talks about it. If you look at all the conversations she's had with Vriska or John or even Dave then you can tell Terezi feels very strongly about whatever she's feeling, and is either trying to disguise that feeling or is trying to put it to words she's struggling to find. Yet even when Terezi can't describe what she's feeling, the audience knows, because her condensed dialogue is expressive enough for us to be able to tell. It also helps that Terezi is one of the most invested in the other cast members, being - if not more righteous - then more analytical of her friends, taking in why they behave the way they do. It doesn't matter that arc-wise she goes in circles, because you can tell exactly how it keeps happening.

I feel like if Terezi didn't have that factor, if there wasn't so much weight to her emotional presentation and if the audience wasn't able to "feel" for her, then she would probably be significantly less popular. I guess that’s why many people feel it’s better for her to still be stuck in the “plot” of homestuck, to lack closure, because maybe closure would feel forced in this universe that’s taken so much from its kids? How can you “forget” what happened and just act like you never entered the game to begin with? Some of the other characters have this issue and it harms them deeply.

Let’s get into that!!!!!

Lord English and Calliope :

I feel so bad for Hussie. He clearly put a lot of thought into the relationship between Calliope and Caliborn, how their characters intertwine throughout this epic story. Yet despite them being the narrative fuel for the entirety of homestuck, and having an awesome thematic ending to their tales, it feels like the "cherub wars" part of homestuck never stuck its foot too deeply in the public consciousness.

Like, let's describe their narration: Two people born in the same body, one good, one evil. One is predestined to rule over the other.

In one universe the cherubs are left in their natural state. The Just cherub, Calliope, predominates... but because the universe is rigged, she is forced to be put into obscurity, residing for billions of years in a hidden dream bubble until the time is right. In another universe, there is intervention - Gamzee introduces the cherubs to humans, and they start to imitate their concepts and feelings. Because of this, Calliope becomes a softer being, engaging happily with the humans. She even wants to take mercy on her brother! But Caliborn takes on human ambition and grows determined to stop his sister from predominating, taking advantage of the human concept of “cheating” in order to beat her at their own game.

Caliborn defeats his sister, and is thrown into a session where he’s forced to overcome seemingly impossible challenges. He succeeds, and is given the ultimate power. Caliborn can will the universe to how he sees fit.

Caliborn’s given just desserts by getting trapped in the juju by the alpha kids but not before the monkey’s paw of trapping all the (alternate) beta kids for millenia, and in becoming trapped, he ends up becoming Lil Cal and Doc Scratch, who manipulate events so that he will rise again as an adult.

But the one thing that drives Caliborn more than anything is the desire to destroy his perfect sister - Calliope. A never ending thirst for her death. For predomination Caliborn never predominated normally so he never gets over it. This is part of why he’s so obsessed with showmanship and art too, to one-up her character. He circles the universe destroying all that is irrelevant, all that is obscure, in the hopes of demolishing all versions of his sister, having the primal fear that she will one day catch him out.

Our predominated calliope meets with the ghost of her alternate self, who tells her that her purpose as a softer human version is to just live her life. To be free. To appreciate all that humanity offers her. Whereas the Alternate Calliope’s role is to commit the ultimate sacrifice, to put an end to her brother’s ego. She absorbs the Green Itself into a catastrophic black hole that erases what is left of the universe.

You think that is the end, but Calliope is reborn in a new form, rewarded for her hard efforts, and becomes a full narrator for the story itself, protecting it from the evil of the Prince. She’s an active guide for the characters of Homestuck, wastching over them. She destroys her brother once and for all, absorping him inside herself.

Wasn’t all of that FUCKING AWESOME?!?!?!??! “Wow”, you think, “Calliope sounds so hardcore!!! I’m sure she’s an amazing character to have such a conclusive storyline like this!!”

Wrong, wrong, wrong. Literally nobody on the internet sees Calliope as their favourite character, except for maybe Past!Shelby Cragg who was her artist. And while Caliborn has his fans, nobody is a big fan of Lord English either. In fact most people tend to forget about the Lord English part of him because it’s just not that engaging!

Basing this on the above analysis about Terezi, what is lacking in terms of these characters?

Humor - Caliborn is a hilarious character, absolutetly no doubt about that. He’s so stupid and the way he sees the world is hilarious. It’s almost Terezi-ish even, except far more exaggerated in terms of his vulgarity and naivete, since he was locked in a fucking cage all his life. Caliborn makes us laugh pretty much every time we see him... but this character is lost entirely in Lord English, who does not wish to engage with the audience at all. Lord English is entirely a machine at this stage, just acting to destroy. As for CALLIOPE, she was never that great in the humor department. I’d be surprised if the original Callie knows what “jokes” are. Alt Calliope was also a stooge until the Epilogue where she trolls Dirk, and yes those parts are delightful and boost her in my eyes significantly, but in the core part of homestuck she is incredibly serious all the time.

Relevance - After reading me narrate the entire Cherub plot and how impactful it was on the entirety of homestuck you’d think I’m a fucking idiot for trying to argue that Calliope and Lord English are irrelevant, right? Well Too Bad!!! That’s exactly what I think. Doc Scratch was relevant to what was happening to our core cast of characters, manipulating them behind the scenes, taking advantage of them and fuelling their personal drama for his greater gain. This is why we love Doc Scratch so much and can even enjoy Ultimate Dirk for doing the same thing. Caliborn had a reduced impact on our main cast, but Lord English’s impact is pretty much nonexistent outside of the first time we see him in Caliborn: Enter. Once again, he’s literally only there to destroy the fucking universe, but when our main characters are either enjoying themselves in the new Alpha session or in Earth C, you have to ask why you or they should be interested in what LE is doing? Dave says so himself, that LE has not done anything wrong to him so he’s not hyped to go kill him. Calliope, meanwhile.... Her relevance is split in two, and neither is too substantial to what our main guys are doing.It “makes sense” as she’s such a passive character, but Calliope’s struggle with relevance doesn’t take me as impacting her too much, and I’ll get onto that in a second. Only one alpha kid ever thinks about her, she doesn’t think about anyone except herself, and while Jade has some kind of relationship with Alt!Callie, it isn’t a personal one by any means. Calliope’s impact on the emotional arcs of homestuck is so minimal that she was erased from the epilogues which she wrote herself. Even Calliope can’t think of anything to do with Calliope!!! How about that!!!

Oh, and of course, Authenticity - Caliborn feels like an authentic character because he deals with actual struggles. Caliborn finds it tremendously difficult to do things other characters might have an easy time with, like drawing, thinking in anything OTHER than straight lines... but he perseveres. Caliborn faces his impossible and brutal tasks head on to claim the Ultimate Reward. He’s fucking EARNED that ability to destroy everything in reality, and by god he’s let us know!!! This is why Caliborn is such a cherished character. Even though he’s evil as fuck, he feels like a real kid somehow. It goes without saying that although Doc Scratch has a different kind of authentic creepiness, Lord English has nothing on him that makes him feel real. He’s just a machine, as said before. CALLIOPE’s authenticity.... The alpha Calliope is a character who became “so nice” and so “perfect” that she ended up losing her fight against her evil brother just because she was that good a person as to let him get the better of her. Nothing that ever happens to her is her fault. She never gets in any conflicts with any character ever, except for that one time she yelled too loud in Candy but nobody told her off for it. Calliope is perfect at art, a fair enough writer. The closest thing to a “flaw” she’s ever had is getting so excited about her friends that she writes creepy fanfic about them, something that is parodied in Candy, which has been implied to be narrated (or at least retold) by Calliope herself in Meat. Simply put, Calliope is... a mary sue. A flawless character. There is absolutely no authenticity and no way to relate to her. Alt Calliope.... she’s a martyr? But why does she want to be a martyr? What does she care about the human characters? She’s even less authentic. It is badass to watch her tear down Dirk, and the story takes advantage of how unreadable she is by making her intimidating as fuck, an all knowing force to contest - no, overpower - that of Dirk or even Hussie himself. Alt Callie is more knowing in her fakeness, she has a better struggle as well what with having to escape from obscurity and overcome her brother, and therefore is a better character, at the end of the epilogues, than the original.

TL;DR: It’s not just about making interesting things happen to your characters. It’s making sure they have interesting reactions to what is going on. If your character becomes someone who things just “happen” to, and who does not respond to those things in an authentic way, then nobody is going to care for them no matter how important or existentially poetic their arc is.

[unequippedwit]

An Informal and Incomplete Essay on One Fangirl’s Feelings and Descent into Mo Dao Zu Shi

So, if you’ve even glanced at my blog of late you’ve noticed a lot of dolphin screeching in regards to a series called The Untamed/Chén Qíng Lìng/陈情令.  Or, something else called  Mó Dào Zǔ Shī/魔道祖师.  (Hint, they’re mostly sort of the same thing as The Untamed is MDZS’s live action drama with a whole ass stable of attractive).

Someone on my dash had done a recommendation list of things that they had watched and enjoyed and I made the glorious mistake of looking at the summary given, shrugged my shoulders, and said “Why not?”.  I proceeded to change my entire life simply by turning on my PS4, tap-tapping my way to YouTube, and settling my behind in my easy chair where the cat and my knitting proceeded to fight for space.

I’m not going to say how many hours total that I’ve spent to watching/listening to the various adaptations (the 50 episode drama, the 23 episodes released of the donghua, and the first season of the audio drama), or reading the manhua, or reading the OG novel, but, I am going to say it’s a lot.  Yes, I’ve calculated it and no I’m not telling.  Oh, hecking heck it is a lot.  And, considering that I’ve only really been into it since the beginning of August, well, even I’m impressed and I know how I can get in regards to hyper-fixation.  I’m so glad that I have also dragged my BFF along for the ride.

I can say with some confidence that a part of the reason why I have done a full sprint down into this magnificent madness, as I cackled with glee and mass binge postings of gorgeous fanart, memes, and Wang Yibo and Xiao Zhan’s faces, is that I was semi-floundering in the MCU fandom and post-release of Endgame, even more so.  There had been a lingering sense of fatigue and this was needed.  The fandom, for all that it is a fandom with its own faults and no fandom ever escapes them, is refreshing and new and a joy in a way that the MCU has been missing for me for quite some time.

Now, as to what actually kept me engaged I’m going to cut, because there’s A LOT and it’s going to get long folks.  And a smidgen spoilery.

On the surface, the plot itself is simple.  A supernatural who-dunit and where-is-it, a large and eclectic cast of characters, with two main leads who fit the one goes by-the-book and other is a renegade trope to perfection.

Then the series actually starts with the MC’s horrorific violence filled death, a bunch of vicious gossip, and someone waking up in a body that sure the heck ain’t theirs.  Simple?  Not so much and that’s just the first chapter.

And, oh, god, the characters in this series are just everything little ol’ me could want.  Lan Wangji and Wei Wuxian have catapulted themselves to I STAN levels in my hierarchy of Favorite Fictional Characters and even secondary characters make me cry/scream/laugh/*insert every other emotion* on a level I haven’t experienced in a very long time.  I would die for Wen Ning, any version.

In this cast we get several sets of foils and a whole host of morally grey characters.  No one, with the possible exception of the Juniors in the present timeline, are not guilty of at least something.  Our protaganist, Sunshine Idiot Genius Hero Wei Wuxian has caused the death of 3000-5000 fellow cultivators, dug up countless graves, and risen the dead at a level that’s, well, not been seen by me in any sort of fictional setting that has necromancers.  Look, I like stories with necromancers.  He is also someone who doesn’t hesitate to do what is right, loves his family and his friends, and a lot of the above actions were in direct relation to him wanting to protect those that are precious to him.

With such a set of complicated characters I get a whole murderboard worthy set of complicated relationships and often complicated motiviations that make me want to cry tears of emotion.  Wait, no, backtrack that as there is no want, I have cried tears of various emotions as something else is discovered or thought about or I see someone giving me some good, good meta to chew on.  Yunmeng Twin Heroes being one potent source of me wailing, “MAH BABIES” while clutching at my face is a good example.  Jiang Cheng is such a misunderstood character.

Know what relationship is both complicated and not at the same time?  WangXian.  As in the relationship between Lan Wangji and Wei Wuxian.  As in the romantic relationship between Lan Wangji and Wei Wuxian.  As in these two Idiots wandered off and got married at the end of the novel and fucked by the side of the road for their first time and we learn that our strong and stoic Hanguang-Jun is one kinky motherfucker and Wei Wuxian is really that guy and doesn’t shut up during sexy times.  Considering that he doesn’t shut up during the rest of the time, it shouldn’t be that surprising, but, really, the man is missing a filter.  Look at the exasperated Xiao Zhan videos of The Untamed BTS where he’s complaining about the number of pages he has per scene.

But, it took time for them to get there.  It took years of hardship and anger and miscommunication and death, including Wei Wuxian’s in the beginning, to get them to the point that they are.  I won’t wax poetic about Lan Wangji, other’s who word better than I have already said so many good things about how he is fundamentally a Good Person and I won’t hear a bad word said about him and the fact that there a number of people who thought he was the villain in The Untamed for a good part of it make me cry for humanity.  Okay, I’ll wax a little poetically about him.  But, the man has his faults.  He’s not very verbal and that can and does cause problems, like leading to Wei Wuxian to believing that he hates him through most of their past, especially as they start hurtling towards the end of his first life.

I know I’m missing a lot, like how there is no true villain of the story other than people being at their worst and allowing that to lead so many of their actions.  But, really, I’m just going to go back to screaming about WangXian and sharing memes.  Oh, and a few recs because the writers in this fandom?  Fucking Aces all around.

<u>Fic Recs</u>

Five Times Wei Wuxian and Jiang Cheng Had a Civil Conversation, and One Time They Didn't by tabulaxrasa      Summary:  *Does what it says on the tin*Wei Wuxian's life is almost perfect now. There's just that one, angry, purple hole in it. If only there was some way to fix it.(There is. It's using their words.)     Reason I love it:  The relationship between Jiang Cheng and Wei Wuxian is almost as important to me as the the one between Wei Wuxian and Lan Wangji and this gives me hope that there is a future for the two of them at the end of the novel.  That things can get better, never back to the way that it was because too much has happened, but they can reach a Good Place and that’s everything really.

Monotone by Seredemia

    Summary: Wei Wuxian died. Wei Wuxian died and he never came back, not after thirteen years, or a hundred, or a thousand. The year is 2019 and Lan Wangji is still here, having reached the highest point of cultivation that has gifted him with immortality. It's supposed to be a gift, an honour, yet to him it's nothing but a curse.

Wei Wuxian is dead, and life is colourless. Lan Wangji ghosts through time, simply living each day in monotone.

That is, until he meets a man who has the same face, same name, same smile as Wei Wuxian. Suddenly, there's colour and hope back in his life—but it's not long until he realises Wei Wuxian in this timeline has not escaped the sorrow that plagued his past self.

Maybe history really does repeat itself after all.

     Reason I love it:  It’s epic.  Not only in length, but in how everything is put together.  The past parallels the future in all the right ways with certain things coming together to make me cry happy tears as I clutch my cat in my arms.  And, let’s not forget Lan Wangji and his haircut.

Perfectly Arranged by Mondengel

     Summary:  Three nights before his wedding to an omega from Yunmeng, Lan Wangji meets Wei Yuandao.

     Reason I love it:  I have a fondness for ABO.  I’ve long stopped being ashamed of my enjoyment of it and I love even more when I find an ABO that gives me arranged marriages that stay so true to the characters.  Even just this little slice of life, gives us something close to the actual meeting of Lan Wangji and Wei Wuxian and it makes me so happy that their happiness is well and truly implied at the end of this.

Now, there about a thousand other things to be read that one should when it comes to this fandom, I’ve only thrown a few grains of rice to show what has been feeding my appetite, but, no seriously.  The fic is so good guys.  I think I’m actually going to start throwing up recs on the regular because gaaaaahhhhh and I’m going to go read some now that I’m done word vomiting.

[emilyjunk]

could u write a bemily fic where they’re stuck in an elevator?

Read below or on AO3!!

Emily couldn’t stop thinking aboutthat kiss.

She was familiar with obsession.She was the kind of person who fell in love with a song and listened to it onrepeat for three weeks straight. The type of person who would read a book orwatch a show and find herself constantly thinking back on it. She’d be up until4am scouring the internet for fan theories and fanfictions and Easter eggs.

Yes, Emily was wholeheartedlyfamiliar with obsession.

Her preoccupation with that kiss,though? On a whole new level.

She’d find herself zoning out whenshe was supposed to be doing something else, her brain replaying that magicalmoment on repeat. She’d accidentally drift off in class, analyzing everyinteraction with Beca she’d ever had. She’d fall asleep fantasizing aboutkissing Beca again, letting it lead her into Beca-filled dreams.

All this obsessing was making hera little crazy, but what was she to do? She’d tried to talk to Becaabout it, but Beca kept avoiding her.

Emily was straight up obsessed…but Beca? Beca was ghosting. 

She’d tried everything. She’dtried to talk to Beca after rehearsals, but Beca, who never ran anywhere unlessshe was being absolutely forced to, literally sprinted out of the roomthe second Emily glanced in her direction. She wouldn’t come within a few feetof Emily, eat in the same room, or even look her in the eyes, which was makingtheir Worlds performance really awkward. Emily had even crept up to the loftwhen she knew Fat Amy was out, but Beca hadn’t been there, or if she had, she’dbeen hiding. 

Emily was starting to think thatshe wouldn’t put it past Beca to hide under the bed when she heard Emilycreaking up the stairs.

It was kind of making her mad,because like, who kisses a person and then just… completely ignores theirexistence? Really, Beca? Like who does that?

But Emily doesn’t really wanna bemad at Beca. What she wants is to kiss Beca. Again. And again. Andagain.

Since Beca wouldn’t talk to her,though, Emily was just settling for this all-consuming obsession.

She didn’t really know what elseto do.

//

Stuck in an elevator.

Apparently that was the solutionto Emily’s problem. All she had to do was get them stuck in an elevator. Notthat she’d meant to do it. In fact, it wasn’t even her fault. But thatelevator sure did have good timing.

See, they’d been down at the hotelrestaurant in Copenhagen having dinner on their first night there, when Becahad suddenly frowned and pushed up from the table just as their drinks came.“Forgot my phone in the room, be right back.”

Emily, seeing a goldenopportunity, decided to follow. “GOTTA PEE!” She exclaimed, probably too loudlyand publicly, but hey, she was in a hurry!

She sped out of the restaurantafter Beca, seeing her turn the corner toward the elevator bay. She rushedafter her, catching up just in time to slip through the sliding doors as theyclosed.

“Beca.”

Beca gaped at her. “How did you --Legacy, what are you doing?”

“I’m chasing after you,obviously!” 

The doors shut before Beca had achance to do anything about it, and the elevator started to rise.

“I…” Beca stared, her back upagainst the opposite wall of the elevator. She was in dark jeans and a purpleflannel, an old but comfy looking one, and Emily thought she looked unreallygorgeous.

“Can we talk?”

Beca shook her head in her denial.“About what?”

Emily rolled her eyes, because,like, nobody is that thick. “You know about what! You’ve been avoiding me sinceyou kissed me last week!”

“Have I?” Beca frowned. “No, that…that doesn’t sound like me.”

“Yes, it does.” Emily crossed herarms, pouting. “Can’t we just talk about it. If it didn’t mean anything,that’s fine, but like, I don’t think we should just avoid it.”

“I’m… now’s not really… I mean,we’re almost at our floor, and --”

It was then that the elevatordinged, and Beca turned toward the doors, expecting them to open.

They just… never did. 

They stayed forcibly, unmovablyshut.

“Um.” Beca frowned. Pushed the opendoor button. “Wait.” Emily furrowed her eyebrows, reaching around Beca topush the button herself. Beca scoffed. “Really?”

Emily giggled nervously. “Justchecking.”

Beca jammed the button a few moretimes, but nothing happened. “Motherfucker.”

“Are we stuck?”

“I think so.” Beca finally lookedat her. “Can you call Chloe and tell her to tell the front desk? My phone’supstairs.”

Emily called Chloe and they waitedwhile the Bellas all erupted into laughter at their expense before going to thefront desk. Chloe assured them they were working on it and to stay on the linefor updates.

Emily hung up.

“Hey! She said to stay on the linefor updates!”

Emily raised an eyebrow at Beca’sflabbergasted expression. “No, I think we should have some time to speak inprivate. Since we’re stuck in here anyway.”

Beca stared at her for a longmoment, then slid down the elevator wall and onto the floor. Emily sat downacross from her, her back against the opposite wall. They looked at each other.

Emily thought Beca’s face was astone wall, flat and blank. 

“So…”

Beca curled her legs up to herchest, tapping her hands on her knees. “So…”

“You kissed me.”

Beca’s eyes skittered away, herstone wall cracking the tiniest amount. “Yeah. I guess I did.”

“You’ve been avoiding me for daysand acting like a crazy person.”

Beca grimaced. “Avoiding isa… strong word.”

Emily huffed. “Avoiding,Beca.”

“Okay, fine.” Beca sighed, herhead falling back against the elevator wall. “I’m sorry. For avoiding you. I’mjust not good at this stuff. Obviously.”

“That’s okay,” Emily saidpatiently. “You don’t have to be good at it. But normally when people kissother people, they don’t just run away and not say anything about it. Usuallypeople talk about their feelings.”

“No, see,” Beca sat up straighter.“If that were the case, then feelings would be called ‘talkings’.”

Emily blinked as she took that in.Then she snorted. “Stop.”

Beca smiled at her. “I’m sorry.”

“For the kiss? Because I’m not.”

“You’re not?”

Emily shook her head. “No. Thatwas… the best kiss I’ve ever had. My head was totally spinning. I heard thechorus of like, twelve new love songs in my head. They’re gonna be total bops.”

“I…” Beca gave her a strange look,lips ticking up in a half-smile. “Okay…”

“It was like one of those kissesthat only happens in movies, you know? Like a fairytale because it’s just thatgood.” Beca’s eyes crinkled when she laughed and Emily’s heart flipped. Theystared at each other again, Beca’s face softening the longer Emily looked ather. She wanted to reach out and hold Beca’s hand, but the elevator was just alittle too big and Beca just a little too far away. Finally, she sighed. “Ijust don’t get why.”

Beca paused. Then she shrugged.“I…” She fidgeted. Flattened her legs back against the ground, her foot justinches from Emily’s. “Something happened to me.”

Emily frowned. “What do you mean?Something bad?”

“No,” Beca was quick to say. “Notsomething bad.” She looked down at her lap. “When we were at the retreat andyou looked at me, and we all were singing… I just…” She gestured to herselfabstractly. “And then we were at Residual and like, vibing, you know?And something happened, and I… thought differently. I had a sensation, like, itcould be like that all the time. Like we’d kick ass together. And Ithought maybe… but.” She shrugged, at a loss for words. “I don’t know.”

“You thought… maybe… me and you?”Emily’s heart dropped into her stomach. “Together?”

“Yeah,” Beca said, her voicebarely above a whisper. “And I think I just… wasn’t prepared for how much thatwas gonna hit me and I panicked. You know, in the closet. But I didn’t want youto think it wasn’t because I didn’t want to. It’s because I reallywanted to, but like…” She shrugged again. “I just don’t know what I’m doing.I’m a total failure at this stuff, dude. And now it’s like…” Beca groaned, herfingers coming up to pinch at her nose. “Now we’re stuck in this fuckingelevator and I can’t even explain myself.”

Emily’s insides felt like mush andshe chuckled. “Well, that’s all you had to say. You didn’t have to say it well,but you didn’t have to go around saying nothing.”

“Okay, well easy for you to say.You’re all…” Beca gestured at her. “You’re whole self. And I’m like…” Shegestured to herself. “Me. Unfortunately.”

“Well, I like you, thank you verymuch, so....” Emily tapped Beca’s foot with her own. “What now?”

“What now?”

Emily nodded. “Mhmm. So, like.Where do we go from here?”

“Oh.” Beca looked truly puzzled.“I… didn’t really think past this point. I couldn’t even think up to thispoint, to be honest.”

Emily grinned. “Well, I’vedefinitely thought past this point.”

Beca’s mouth fell open. “I… okay.”She gave Emily a strange look. “What… um… What did you think, then?”

“Me and you, on a date,” Emilybegan, a smile in her voice. “And me and you making music together, like allthe time. And… me and you…” Emily hummed, crawling the few feet between them soshe was up in Beca’s space. Beca’s eyes zeroed in on hers. “Doing this,” Emilyfinished. Then she leaned down and pressed her lips to Beca’s. 

Beca’s breath got caught betweenthem and she exhaled sharply against Emily’s lips. Her hand settled on Emily’scheek and she tilted her neck up more, pulling Emily closer. It was soft,softer than that first hallway kiss but still electrifying. Emily felt itagain, those fireworks in her stomach, that head-spinning rush. It wasintoxicating. Phenomenal.

What soulmates are made of.

She pulled back slightly, but Becaheld her there, her hand still on Emily’s cheek. 

“Um,” Beca murmured. “Whoa.”

“Good whoa?”

“Yeah. Great whoa. Amazing whoa.Totes awes whoa. Oh… wait, no, I sound like Chloe, ew.”

Emily smiled and their lipsbrushed together again. “Aca-whoa?”

“Stop,” but Beca laughed, thesound vibrating against Emily’s lips. 

Emily hummed happily. “So we good?No more avoiding?”

“Alright. I guess not.” She couldfeel Beca’s eye roll. “Can’t do much avoiding in this elevator anyway, so wemight as well… just…” Beca tugged her closer again, connecting their lips.

Emly laughed. “Seven minutes inHelevator.”

Beca pulled back again to grimaceat her. “What?”

“Like Seven Minutes in Heaven inan elevator.”

“It sounds like Hell when youcombine those. Like, it sounds bad, dude.”

“Moving on,” Emily laughed. Shesettled between Beca’s legs, her hand on the elevator wall, and leaned backdown.

Beca’s hands circled around herneck as Emily slid their lips together, soft and curious. Her whole body wastingly. She tilted her head to deepen the kiss, her tongue slipping into Beca’smouth. Beca exhaled, adjusting under Emily, her fingers crawling down Emily’sneck, to her shoulder, her side, her waist. They brushed under her shirt, warmand soft against Emily’s skin.

Emily gasped and --

The sound was swallowed by thesharp ding of the elevator as the doors slid open. Emily’s whole bodyjolted, startled, her head whipping around to watch as the doors opened widerand wider, revealing Bella after Bella standing there, one-by-one.

They all stared at each other asthey took in the scene, and as far as Emily could tell, the mouth of everyBella might as well have been on the floor. 

“Oh. My. God?” Stacie gaped.

“What the fuck?” Cynthia Roselooked them up and down.

Emily immediately rolled off ofBeca. “Um.”

Beca stood up, pulling Emily withher. “Cool, yeah, so this is happening, okay, and if any of you make a big dealof this or make either of us feel any kind of mortification, I will still putlaxatives in all of your fucking food. So, just… shut up.” 

Then she grabbed Emily’s hand andmarched straight out of the elevator and down the hall, dragging Emily behindher. 

[hollow-sortilege-blog]

               ☆ﾟ*・ﾟWoah is that NATHAN MEYER ? I’ve heard they’re a witch ( Dark ) originally from North Carolina. They came here because of the death of their father and they’ve been here for one year. As a 24 year-old, I’m sure they’re skilled. Someone told me they’re disinterested and scrutinizing but I think they’re calm and adaptive. I can’t help but think of wispy cigarette smoke, photos faded at the edges and half burnt letters never sent when I look at them.

                            [Intro] [Wanted Connections] [Blackwater Coven]

[History]

Childhood was chaos for Nathan. The first years of it were spent tucked away within the confines of his mother’s coven; a strange mix of hedge witches and those who practiced far bloodier dark arts in the shadowy cover of the deep Appalachian mountains. There eeriness of the place, of the people, was something that ingrained itself into Nathan himself, his eccentric nature is grounded in the oddity of the world he was born into. And within it his mother and father were always at war with each other, he really has no idea how they managed to accomplish having three children before his mother disappeared entirely from his life and took his younger sister with her. Truthfully he was raised more by his grandmother, a strange old woman with an uneasy amount of secrets and conviction that Nathan was certainly more like his mother than the rest of the Meyers’ brood.

Shortly after his mother left the family his father also decided he wanted nothing more to do with the coven as he had always been an outsider to it for marrying into the family. A witch whose power was cultivated in turning luck in his favor he settled himself and the boys on the west coast. It was a good fit for him and Nathan’s older brother, the family certainly found fortune there through gambling. Life became excess, wanting for nothing, and while they thrived, somehow, Nathan didn’t. His disinterest remained, gradually become a sort of venom between himself and his father until he was constantly earning the vicious reprimand and anger of the man. Nothing felt right to him, or real, not the world he’d left behind nor the one he had come to live in where magic was hidden away and life revolved around status he found incredibly bland.

The life of a rich socialite had some benefits, true, but nothing that ever lasted out long in stirring Nathan’s interest. With his father’s temper growing shorter as the years passed harsh words became the norm and he distanced himself more and more. With his older brother already absent much of the time in chasing his own vices there was no more buffer from the battlefield that was home. Nathan kept himself entertained with his camera, the only real grounding point in his life, with distraction and ghosted in around expectations until the day his father fell ill. As life became an endless blur of medical terms and treatments that always fell short of working Nathan skirted the edges while the best doctors and nurses could buy failed. It was a perplexing thing to witness, the man who had been the childhood monster in his own life wasting away. Something about it felt almost like vindication. His efforts to care for the man were an endless round of accusations, it seemed the bad blood was meant to carry until the very end and finally Nathan simply left, unable to stomach being there anymore.  

His early twenties found Nathan wandering, gravitating back towards the hills and the secrets held there. His grandmother welcomed him back warmly and even if he didn’t feel as though he belonged in that place anymore it was a needed escape. Her lessons were perplexing, at times seemingly nonsensical, but there was a truth to them that dug under his skin. Magic, she insisted, was a great deal of intention and power came from places that were not always sound. Some of the secrets she told him were straight out of a nightmare, unfair and chilly.

Nathan still isn’t sure if his own hatred of his father was partly to blame for the illness that slowly killed the man, surely it couldn’t have been. But that was something of a turning point for him with the news that he had finally died, the funeral, the wall that had come between himself and his brother over his absence in the final months of their father’s illness, so much had dissolved around him.

When he left that time it was with no intention of coming back, the nagging knowledge shared by his grandmother tormenting him and lost in the idea that maybe he would find what he needed.

Headcanons

[Personal]

Nathan is a creature of vices, he practically has an ever-changing list of them. Some of the constants tend to be his terrible habit of chain smoking, his interest in bad horror movies and watching them all night rather than sleeping, spending more time with his camera than he does actual people, and collecting the sort of oddities that most people consider macabre or bizarre. He is entirely unaffected by how other people view his habits, unless they purposely push his buttons. In those cases it’s entirely fair game to purposely make them uncomfortable in his presence.

He has absolutely no desire to live on campus but since he has no choice in the matter, and he certainly did try to bribe the staff to let him live alone, he has attempted to make the best of sharing his space with other people. Which of course means he tends to keep to his own room, he’s not exactly unfriendly, just solitary by nature and it’s still a habit.

Don’t touch his camera, he gets a little moody when it comes to that. It’s an old, fickle beast and deserves a certain amount of respect, obviously. Along the same lines his roommates, assuming they ever venture past his bedroom door, will get something thrown at them if they try to mess with any of the literal dozens of photos that amass on his walls. Again, that’s a very personal matter.

While it really didn’t endear him to his father with the news, Nathan came out as gay in his latter teens. Needless to say he spent most of his formative years sexually testing the waters under the glow of the city lights well outside the scrutiny of people who knew him otherwise. His scattering of relationships reads fairly typical, breakups and shattered attempts mostly due to his own lack of desire to  

He really isn’t the looming (seriously, he’s 6′4″), unsettling presence that seems to be most peoples’ first impression. Usually because he spends a great deal of time studying people around him more than directly interacting with them; it doesn’t mean he lacks any desire to be around people though. Actually, quite the opposite in that Nathan wants connections with others to help him stay grounded, but he’s never really had much in the way of healthy interactions with people aside from his brother and grandmother most of his life.

Generally he’s fairly even natured about most things, nearly to the point of being disconnected. His morality isn’t cut and dry, he views good and evil as purely circumstantial rather than anything set just the same as he thinks the idea that any one person is truly one or the other as ridiculous.

[Magic]

Nathan didn’t attend college to decipher what his magic is and where that power lies, he’s well aware of it and knows its’ rooted in decay and ruin. He enrolled to gain a better grasp of magic outside his own, hunting for the means to both control his unpredictable power and undo some of the bindings to old spells that were placed in his childhood. Said magic works on both organic and inorganic materials but he doesn’t test it much if avoidable; decay is a vicious and unforgiving element by design and as much as he knows how powerful it could make him the idea of the effects of those spells is a bit unnerving.

The coven he was born into, Blackwater, was one with very old traditions and rites, some of which would be very questionable by the standards of most witches. Obviously not information he shares with others because of this fact. Nathan was educated, to a degree, by his grandmother who was somewhat of an elder leader within the coven. When he returned there later in his twenties he discovered the reason why she stepped in to teach him.

There are two specific rites within the coven that Nathan was part of early in his life without being aware of until he discovered later one;

Binding Power Rite

Within the Blackwater coven power is something that is widely believed to be connected to intent and the life of a witch themselves. So any very promising children, or specifically ones who also were subject to Blood Binding rites, are linked to their own magic on a deeper level than many witches. It grants them an early and stronger connection to the well of power but at a trade of sorts. The same magic requires a sacrifice, one of the witch themselves. Their lives are shorter than expected, their own magic taking more than the usual burden in use and the expectation is that eventually the magic will drive the witch to either pass the rite one to their next generation or suffer it driving them to the point of destroying themselves.

Nathan’s magic, very much like his mother’s power, will likely cause his sanity to decay with time. He is aware of this, it is a nagging fear in the back of his thoughts after seeing the wild changes and strange actions of his mother growing up and knowing the woman likely was nearly lost of madness by the time his younger sister was born. He’s hopeful that learning more about magic as a whole will give him the key to avoid that fate himself.

Blood Binding Rite

One of the darker rites of the coven involves the burden of an old trade for magic being passed onward. It is a rite that involves the children of a witch, specifically one who they choose to carry that connection to the coven’s initial pace for magic from darker arcane forces. Nathan’s mother was already suffering some of the madness of her own magic by the time she gave birth to him and picked him for the rite. It was a point of argument between his parents, and ultimately part of the reason his father always kept him at a distance, but a necessity of sorts. The only known way to keep a witch from an elder line within the coven from being slowly devoured by their own magic, the burden is passed onward to the child then to carry. In turn the expectation is that the child will grow to be one of the more valued members of the coven, held in high regard, and one day continue the rite with children of their own blood.

Being fully aware of the rite and having no intention of doing the same, Nathan knows it only furthers his chances of losing his sanity but he cannot see himself having children. It was a bitter discovery to make, something that outside of his control, but one he can do little about.

[novantinuum]

jen’s doctor who s11 review

On the whole!

I really enjoyed series 11 for its nice change in pace and especially the relationship built up between Graham and Ryan. I really liked how many of the episodes were lighter and kinda more adventure-y in nature than in past, instead of constant “the world is gonna end” danger. Like I love those kinds of episodes, believe me, but the lighter tone is very welcomed after many series of heart wrenching angst ahahahah! 

I loved how they handled the historical episodes this series, and really dug into the truth of human condition within those time periods, and took risks there. I actually learned a lot about the time periods they visited- for example, I never really heard much about the Pakistan partition in school. 

Thirteen is precious and I want to hug her. She’s so full of hope and that makes me so happy! :DDD I love how she’s a sciency tinkerer and likes cobbling stuff together out of whatever loose ends she can find. I’m still waiting for her to snap, though- maybe that’s just me as an angst lord talking, but I want to see her super super angry. The scene in The Battle of Ranskoor Av Kolos with her sternly disagreeing with Graham was very good though. But anyways, I love her positivity and her quirky alien charm, and her character feels like a natural progression of where the Doctor left off at the end of Twice Upon a Time. The Doctor has gone through a lot of healing since the Time War, a lot of self reflection and forgiving themself, and Thirteen is absolutely a product of that and it shows. It’s so nice to see them back on their feet, unshackled by that guilt finally, just wandering about the universe like they always did. 

Yasmin is so sweet and so loyal, and h o h boy if there’s anyone I can see sticking with the Doctor until the bitter end out of this crew it’s her. (*nervous laughter*) Out of all the crew she’s the one who’s had the least development though, so I’m looking forward to seeing where she goes as a character moving forward. Also, I hope we see her family more, I like them! Maybe in the New Years special, we’ll see. I’ve absolutely hit the “ADOPT KID” button on Ryan, the more I think about him the more I love him- just, all this time he’s been looking for belonging, for people who aren’t gonna leave him behind like his dad, and he had that with his nan Grace- but he didn’t know if Graham was gonna be the same or if he was only there for him bc of association with Grace. But now through all these adventures through space and time he has absolute proof that Graham will be there for him, and so he’s made the conscious decision to make Graham his family. And Graham, hhh... his grieving throughout the series, while not acting as a shadow on it, was always woven through and it’s nice to see both him and Ryan actually make peace with things through seeing Tim Shaw again and giving him his humble pie. 

In the end when it comes to this series, I love the strong found family vibes it gives. Graham and Ryan and Yaz, they all knew each other in some way before, but they didn’t truly know each other. And through being thrown together with the Doctor, entering her wild adventurous life, they got to grow closer as friends, but more importantly, as a family. The whole series the Doctor was looking for a word to describe her little ragtag group, and she wasn’t exactly sure if “fam” was the right one, but in the end it’s what she settles on because this has become a family. 

Now, what I’m hoping to see more of in the future! 

1) I’d love to see more extended domestic-y TARDIS scenes! We’ve got a lot of pre/post endcap TARDIS scenes, but I’d love to see more small little convos between characters on the way to their destinations, in between, etc. For as long as these episodes were I feel like so much time was spent providing exposition and story for the plot, but I’d love to see more fun nonsense. More glimpses at what they get up to in between, if that makes any sense. (As an example of what I mean, we got a bit of this in The Tsuranga Conundrum, at the very beginning when they were just poking about a junkyard planet, and I quite liked that.)

2) As the characters keep developing I’d love to see more conflict arise between them to test their friendships. We saw some good moments of this with the Doctor telling Ryan to stay behind with Hanne in It Takes You Away after he made a kinda narrow-minded comment about her disability, and when the Doctor flat out told Graham that if he killed Tim Shaw he wouldn’t be traveling with her anymore in the finale. I’d love to see more of this.

3) This may just be because I’m really queer, but I want the Doctor to snap and yell and get really angry at something. That’s the ONE thing that felt entirely missing from this series. In the end I get the sense that this Doctor has a far greater reign on her emotions and self because she’s healed quite a bit, but I still know she’s capable of that righteous anger and I’d love to see Jodie show off her full range with a scene like that.

4) We’ll probably get this in the New Years special, but I’m super anticipating Thirteen facing the Daleks. This is a quintessential thing for every Doctor, in my opinion, and I can’t wait for when they (hopefully!) eventually do that.

5) More of a plot arc. I definitely know the lack of a tight plot arc was because they wanted it to be more accessible for people to just tune in and watch without context,, as they’re gaining some new fans, but I hope that there’s more of a return to an ongoing series plot arc with this next series since everything’s been established. I personally really like those, because I get to be a plot arc detective! I will say that I’m very pleased that Tim Shaw was brought back for the finale, though- that acted as a very nice bookend and helped tie up all the emotional threads.

6) Also not exactly anything I can fault this series for, because I can tell one of the points/themes of it was “not everything is what it seems on the surface” and “sometimes the real monsters,,, are humanity” and I very much respect that, but I do wanna see some more just... alien baddies who ARE baddies and not misunderstood. Listen,, I’m a simple minded person. Love me some monsters! 

My rankings! 

For context, I’m generally very easy with my ratings. I’m not rating them on how critically perfect they are as plots or anything, this is purely based on how much I enjoyed them. I’ve only actually rated nine episodes of Doctor Who 2005-present with scores of 6 or below.

10- Absolutely SUPERB  9- Excellent! 8- Great! 7- Good 6- Okay

1) Demons of the Punjab    (10) This ep made me cry more than any episode of Doctor Who has in a very long time. Incredibly poignant, stunning music and cinematography. Taught me a whole lot I never knew about the partition and how it affected everyday people. I liked how the Doctor assumed the whole time that these aliens were  A good Yaz centric ep, too. It ranks 7th in my list of all-time favorites.  

2) It Takes You Away   (9.5) Wowee, another very poignant one! Some FANTASTIC acting from Jodie in this ep, and a very trippy concept with the sentient universe. Loved getting to see each companion getting a good role to play. ALSO CAN WE JUST TALK ABOUT HOW MUCH I STAN THAT FROG??? AND THE DOCTOR SEDUCING AN ENTIRE UNIVERSE???? B R U H. Hanne’s actress did a wonderful job too! 

3) Kerblam!   (9) What a heckin fun episode! This one will definitely become one of my comfort eps, I can already tell. The secondary characters were all lovely, and the bots were delightfully unsettling too! I spent the whole thing going “wow I totally experienced this working at Amazon” and I thought that was pretty funny. Also, I might highlight all the wonderful Graham snark we got in this one. 

4) Rosa    (9) Gahhh this was a hard one to watch, but very truthful in its depiction of the time period, and a lovely tribute to an incredibly courageous woman. Shout out to how the ep forced Graham to recognize and accept his white privilege (and the Doctor too for that matter), the scene with Ryan and Yaz discussing racism they’ve had to endure, and also for the scene with the Doctor making jokes about Banksy. That made me laugh. “Banksy doesn’t have one of these! Or do I?”

5) The Battle of Ranskoor Av Kolos    (9) I was VERY glad to see Tim Shaw return for some finished business, and how it allowed Graham and Ryan to finally get a bit of peace for what happened to Grace because of him. This was a solid ep, with some SOLID character moments between Graham and the Doctor and Graham and Ryan. The Ux were interesting, too.

6) The Woman Who Fell to Earth    (8.5) Solid, fun episode. It wastes no time in setting up who Thirteen will be. Still one of my favorite scenes in this whole series so far is when she builds her own sonic screwdriver- GOD the music there is so damn iconic. And gahhh I love Grace so much. How dare they make me love a character so much and then let her die? Rude. That’s homophobia. XD

7) The Witchfinders   (8.5) The Doctor gets dunked in water and has soaked hair. Dare I say more? No, but I was glad to see an ep with an alien danger that actually IS an alien danger that seeks to destroy and conquer, I always love those- and this one, with weird sentient mud that can fill corpses, was delightfully grim. Willow was a great secondary character, too- loved her especially. 8) The Ghost Monument   (8) Okay so I really loved how slice-of-life this episode was? We actually got to know our secondary characters Angstrom and Epzo and I appreciated that. The bit with the Doctor thinking the TARDIS was gone forever at the end... hhhhhhng... that was such a good scene. You could just see the hope drained from her face, and then to see it all rush back as she finally found her?? W o w I’m so emo, y’all ;D;

9) The Tsuranga Conundrum  (7) So I enjoyed this one, but there were some kinda oddly phrased bits of dialogue in it that marks it down for me. The Pting is a delightfully weird and cursed creature, 10/10, would yeet out of a spacecraft. I already mentioned this, but I LOVE the scene in the junkyard and how slice-of-life it was. I also appreciate how someone called out the Doctor on being selfish during this. 10) Arachnids in the UK   (6.5) So this episode was riding right on the edge of “ehh” for me, but it still has some great moments in it, with the Doctor awkwardly interacting with Yasmin’s family and all those heckin spiders bee-boppin down the hallways to the tune of rap music. XD I can’t exactly pick out why it was an “eh” for me, but it just didn’t click. Maybe I was just hoping it’d be an alien thing and was kinda left wanting with the way the episode felt kinda... unfinished. Like, there’s still a bunch of giant spiders? They didn’t solve that. They just- trapped them and left. I dunno I was left wanting with this ep.

[trip-downtheriverstyx]

BDRPWRIMO: A mock application- disclaimer that I did this as an exercise for my OC story aha but it’s still connected enough to Swynlake so!! 

OPAL ACHERON;; 

ABOUT THE CHARACTER; NAME: Opal FACE CLAIM: Mackenzie Foy PRONOUNS: She/her AGE: 18! SEXUALITY: Straight-ish. True Generation Z Straight, aka she mostly likes boys but won’t rule out ever liking a girl lmao sexuality is fluid JOB/SCHOOL: Pride U—Theatre! Scriptwriting at this moment. RESIDENCE: Belle’s house! WHY YOU’RE APPLYING FOR THIS CHARACTER (5 SENTENCES MINIMUM):

I’m just gonna use this space to talk about why I love Opal. She’s such a bright, upbeat, artistic character who has lots of dimensions to her. She’s driven first and foremost by an intense love and delight for life—for making each day unique and figuring out how to express herself or “make her mark.” She’s had a happy childhood with parents who love each other and are very passionate themselves, and that passion rubbed off on her and onto everything she touches and does. Because she was taught early on to never give up and to tackle problems head on (very Hades and Belle truly), she isn’t a pessimist or a cynic. She wants to find solutions to her problems. She wants to succeed and triumph. And so when her illness strikes, it never really occurs to her to be depressed about it. I mean, sure, that’s part denial right there but it also speaks to the iron of her will. She’s resilient and why wouldn’t she be? She grew up in Swynlake.

WHAT DO YOU THINK YOUR CHARACTER CAN ADD TO SWYNLAKE (5 sentences minimum): She is the kind of girl to get into trouble and bring people along with her! She hears about something mysterious in the forest? Absolutely she wants to check that out. Student body elections? You betcha Opal wants to run. She’s more of a ‘leader’ than a follower, though at the same time, I think she operates in this middle space between “mom friend” and like, I dunno, cool aunt friend—like, part of Opal getting into trouble will be on behalf of some of her closest friends sometimes. (If you’re thinking to yourself, is Opal a Gryffindor??? I don’t know. I’m between Raven v Gryff v a very friendly Slytherin because I think she gets attached to persons over groups but I’ll let u know where she lands lmao.)

LIST THREE GOALS THAT YOU WANT TO ACCOMPLISH WITH  THIS CHARACTER/THAT THIS CHARACTER WANTS TO ACCOMPLISH:

None of these are gonna make sense to you guys here we go— 1. Come to terms with her chronic illness—her ghostliness is sort of a metaphor for this. Opal desperately wants to be normal but she isn’t normal. She needs to accept she has certain limitations…but those limitations don’t have to necessarily LIMIT her “life” experience. 2. Have a YA-worthy romance probably—Opal is definitely too romantic for her own good, while simultaneously being pretty sensible about it and probably a little persnickety. She’s definitely had boyfriends in the past, but does fear true commitment in a way because of how much she values independence and doing things her way. She’s like her mum in that sense ahah. And I’d love for her to really learn how to be in a relationship. 3. Hijinks with her brothers related to “fixing” her condition—which maybe culminates in a visit to the underworld?! Mostly because I need a fucking plot for this thing. But it would be funny if Hades is still Lord of the Underworld and this is like the equivalent of going out to a 21+ strip club or something lmfao.

WHAT IS YOUR CHARACTER’S VIEW ON MAGIC? (3 SENTENCES MINIMUM):

Opal grew up around magic so naturally she loves it. She also depends on magic to make her life livable. While magic is vilified by others, magic lifts up Opal’s own life—and so she sees lots of good with it and is a true magic advocate. She also realizes she’s in a really unique position (like a lot of white upper-class kids with a chronic illness) in that the nature of her family’s magic means she GETS the care she needs, even if that care is through magic. BIOGRAPHY (300 WORDS MINIMUM, 3RD PERSON):

Opal Acheron is not dead yet. Opal Acheron is a lot of things besides dead (ish.) She is the daughter of Belle Acheron, a very successful Magick Rights Lawyer, and Hades, the ambassador to the Underworld. She’s an artist. She’s an actress. She’s a big sister who takes that job very seriously, even when her twin brothers annoy her. She’s a wicked horse rider and she also plays a mean game of chess, taught by the Lord of the Dead himself. And when she was just 12 years old, she scripted her first petition with the help of her mother, advocating for an Undead Appreciation Day. She is a Swynlake Native and it’s in her very blood. She wouldn’t want to live anywhere else. And yes. She’s just a touch dead. Soon after Opal’s eighteenth birthday, she developed a very inconvenient heart tumor that would certainly lead to her untimely end. But her father intervened before her soul could pass through the veil. He bargained with the Fates—Opal would live frozen in time, a ghost during the day, and a girl at night, for as long as she wanted…or at least, until the Acherons found some kind of solution, magic or medical, that might give Opal more time. Now, Opal has to learn a different way of living, a life between things, and just in time for her first semester of university. But Opal considers herself a very optimistic girl, even if she’s a ghost one. She’s determined not to let her condition get in the way of her dreams. Why should she— Opal Acheron is not dead yet.

ROLEPLAYING SAMPLE (500 WORDS MINIMUM, 3RD PERSON): 

Opal sees a cute boy.

He sits in the back of Hatter’s café, trousers the colour of mustard and rolled up so she can see his ankles. She likes his ankles best of all, or at least, she likes them best from where she stands next to her brother who is waiting for his peppermint mocha. She wants to get closer to decide about those ankles. And whether or not those glasses he wears—the thick, clear plastic kind—are real or just a fashion statement, and what she thinks about that, too. Either way, she knows he is cute enough to ask.

Unfortunately, she’s a ghost, which makes these things slightly more complicated.

If she were still alive, Opal would not hesitate to go over and introduce herself. If she were alive, she’d already have made eye contact with him across the room-- like in her favorite classic movies, with women in splendid pin-up skirts and perfect curls, who flirted over the tops of books, speaking whole poems with a flutter of their eyelashes. If she were alive, maybe she’d even entice the skinny-ankled stranger to buy her a coffee too. But because she is not alive, she should turn away and mind her business-- her flirting days behind her now.

But that sounds terrible. So instead, she informs her brother, who is a medium: “Bell, I see a cute boy.”

Bellamy is reading and not paying attention to cute boys. He doesn’t look up from Frank Herbert’s Dune, only turns a page and says, “Good for you.”

She presses her lips together. “Bell, you’re not even looking. I need you to go over and talk to him for me.”

“No thank you.”

“That wasn’t a request.”

 “Ah, well, then you should say please.”

 “I said it wasn’t a request.” Opal stares owlishly at her brother, who has officially started ignoring her, as though she is little more than a gnat buzzing around his ear. Well, she can buzz much louder if she really wants to. Opal has no qualms about being an annoying older sister. In her opinion, being annoying is in the job description of an Older Sister, and especially an Older Sister Who Is Also A Ghost.

And so she reaches out with those ghosty hands of hers and levitates Dune right out of Bell’s hands. A few eyes in the queue slide their way and follow the book as it floats above her brother’s head. Bell stares at his hands still, like nothing happened.

“This is rude,” states Bell with his eyes on his empty hands.

She wiggles the book in the air, pages fluttering. “Please,” she says.

He finally looks up and regards her with a blank face. “You’re so immature.”

“I’m a ghost—emotionally stunted by nature,” says Opal. “Now, please, talk to Cute Boy for me.”

PLEASE ANSWER THE FOLLOWING ABOUT THE CHARACTER (MINIMUM OF THREE WITH 2-3 SENTENCE EXPLANATIONS): FAVORITE (OR LEAST FAVORITE)… COLOR(S): “It’s not fair to the other colors to have a favorite.” WEATHER: She loves thunderstorms. They’re so dramatic and she likes to pretend to be scared or like it’s gonna blow the house down. MUSIC: Musicals of course! Lots of classics and old jazz singers. She does like pop music too but only a tune here and there. MOVIE(S): oh OLDIES again! Musicals! Black and white classics! Got really into silent films at one point. She also loves old historical dramas and she wants to start in an Austen revival. Loves Shakespeare theatre. Sexual awakening when she saw DiCaprio in Romeo + Juliet SCENT(S): Um…flowers. Understated scents, probably doesn’t wear perfume unless for special occasions. BEVERAGE: is she an ice coffee bitch—Yes also flavored lattes and herbal teas. FOOD(S): vegetarian :3 She really loves coconut in things. Her favorite meal is probably like a vegetarian coconut curry or something—kinda sweet n spicy at the same time. She loves Indian food for that kinda reason too. Oh and vegetarian sushi like with avocado and mango and stuff. ANIMAL(S): Horses! Belle would have Opal start riding as soon as she can walk (despite Hades probably being overprotective.) Opal would be a true blue horse girl. She’d read all the horse books and goes to feed Philippe with her mum and probably wants her very own horse too! Horses are the best! 100 percent horses! Also, the humble caterpillar. OR 3 HEADCANONS (3 sentence mimimum): -Opal has one of those weird girly phobias about cutting her hair. She only ever trims it and she loves it as long as it can go. She also taught herself how to do extravagant braids and updos—definitely self-taught when it comes to that and also make-up, all through Youtube tutorials, since Belle isn’t exactly savvy herself. (I bet she’s done Belle’s hair tho isn’t that cute.) - Despite absolutely loving to dress up, her day to day look is pretty practical. She likes boots because they can be cute but she can still go trudging through Enchantra and they don’t get too uncomfortable.