#or maybe someone smarter than me should do it lol

[magicandmundane]

Something something Clone Force 99 breaking binders in every season finale

[hiskillingjar]

What do you think Strade, law, and ren would react to a bimbo type MC?

this is so fucking mean. how did you know i was into this??

OKAY WHATEVER, WOE NICHE FETISH BE UPON YOU AAAAA

ren 🦊

ren loves it. of course he loves it

mans is a cum brained hentai addict, of course he fucking loves you playing up to all his favourite tropes

he especially loves it when you pitch up your voice and coo and fawn over him. you sound like a little doll, it's just so cute!

(loves it even more when you do the same in bed and whine and squeal like one of his pornos lol)

cute outfits? skimpy clothes? an obscene amount of pink?? he'd love every second!! he loves high aesthetic anyway so he'd be more than happy to shower you with gifts so you always look pretty and perfect all the time

(and would totally want to pick out your outfits so that he could match lol)

he likes the heavy makeup too, especially if it gets messed up and smeared by tears, saliva, cum

he might even get a bit of a complex about it, especially if you played into the whole "tee hee i'm dumb and you're smart :3" part

like yeah actually, i AM smarter than you. you need me to look after you, don't you, baby? that's okay, you can just stay here with me and look pretty and enjoy being a dumb girl all you want ^_^

doesn't that sound so nice?

doesn't that sound so freeing, never having to worry about real life again?

awww don't fight me, babe, you just don't know any better!

lawrence 🥀

lawrence is. a little confused by it, honestly

like they know that you're playing this up. what are you trying to do? do you think i'm stupid, or something?

i mean law has kind of a complex about honesty, so they might be a bit. put off by you playing a role of some kind

besides, they want to break your brain by themselves. you doing it to yourself is no fun, is it?

in a brain break kind of circumstance though...

law would be super patient and take good care of you

your speech keeps slurring and you forget the words for things that should be obvious...that's okay though, they're there to help you. you don't need to think that hard when they're around

or maybe they'll just shut you up if it becomes too irritating, your dumb voice and your inability to even speak anymore. they have a pretty short fuse for that sort of thing

they might get a little tired of looking after a braindead doll, though...especially if some of your joints have been popped out

you'll just have to prove your worth in some way, the only way dumb dolls can...isn't that right, petel?

strade 🔨

H O R N Y

yeah strade likes it a lot too lmao

he picked it up pretty quickly though

the way you were dressed at the bar, the fact that you so readily trusted a total stranger. takes someone pretty dumb to do that...

so he takes a good long time figuring you out back in the basement?

is this just an act or are you really as stupid as you seem?

but you moan and whimper so sweetly, your voice slurring, and your brain blurred faster than he could have ever imagined

he has to keep you on, even for a little while, just to see what'll happen

considering his standing as the world's worst sugar daddy, you can dress up however you want and he doesn't have a word of complaint about it

especially when you get so upset when he tears your clothes off and fucks up your makeup when he fucks you. it's really irresistible though, your whines are too cute to resist!

might develop a bit of an ego about it (nowhere near as much as ren though, who definitely pushes his luck and fucks with you when strade's not around) especially considering how well his audience responds when he pushes a pretty girl into her rightful place under him

you're not much fun as anything other than a living fuckdoll though. you're too stupid for any kind of conversation, and you don't react nearly as fun to pain as he wants

but not like you care, even if you had enough of a brain TO care

you'll be his doll whenever he wants you <3

[mousemannation]

Ben has literally liked transphobic posts by Vivek Ramaswamy. People like to uwu him for transphobia but he’s no better than Andrey. Just smarter for keeping it under wraps

DISCLAIMER: this is a long ass post im so sorry anon I kind of used this ask to talk about what I expect from players in general.

as i was writing that post i was like someone is definitely going to send me an anon about something problematic he did. this is no slight on u dear anon but let me explain why i still made the post.

on the most basic level, the post was hyperbolic, I think we all know this. Any sort of definitive statement like that is going to have exceptions. So my first reason to still make the post is that people will generally know to take it with a grain of salt.

The second reason is that I am not looking to sportspeople as beacons of morality. Whether our opinions align can and often does affect my support of them, but my support of them as an athlete is never a blanket support of them as a person. I don't know them and I almost certainly never will; i just like watching them hit a ball.

The third reason, and one that isn't always applicable but I'd say is extra applicable to someone like Ben is that I am willing to give them the benefit of the doubt. I'm a generally forgiving person, which has its pros and cons, but it means im naturally inclined to see the best in people. Ben is young, he's my age actually, and he lives a life that i could never hope to imagine. All these athletes do. Is that an excuse for prejudice? No, but it gives me hope that that prejudice comes from a place of ignorance not hatred.

The last three incidents of player prejudice (at least that I know of) have been Andrey, Paula and now Ben although i have not personally seen proof of this. Two counts of transphobia and one of anti-asian racism. I'm trans and asian (not Chinese, which is worth mentioning since Paula's incident was ostensibly anti-chinese, but is also an act used indiscriminately against all Asians).

Maybe I should expect more, but I'm almost always operating on the basis that a celebrity would hatecrime me, intentionally or not. I'm never really surprised when it comes out that a player did something problematic. And in these specific instances they are prejudices against groups I am a part of (or sort of adjacent to, not that white people know the difference between East Asians and South East Asians lol).

I am still mad at Andrey for his transphobic remarks against Imane because they were rash, uninformed, and very public. But I also don't think he's a terrible person. He's done a lot of things I don't agree with, but I'm not personally totally blanking him from my support, just sort of toning it down.

I was never that mad at Paula for that photo, again, maybe I should have been but to me it never came off as hateful, just ignorant. I mean i don't think she would have let the photo be taken and posted if she'd done it with intentional prejudice. I know the post got deleted but I don't know if she ever officially apologised, I wasn't keeping up, but I do think she should have. To me, that was the action of a sheltered western european white woman who wouldn't recognise intersectionality if you hit her over the head with it.

Now on to the man in question. You say he liked posts by a transphobe. Liking a post can mean many things, and it doesn't always mean unequivocal support. Liking several posts does, admittedly, get a little murkier. But my relationship with celebrities does not and can not account for their private beliefs. If a famous person is a bigot but they never mention it anywhere and there's no way for me to know what am I supposed to do? Sure, for some the absence of word or action against prejudice is bad enough (and this is a totally valid position to take) but I must refer you back to point 2. I'm simply not expecting explicit social justice from professional athletes. Am I positively jubilant when they do engage with it? Of course! But these are people so far removed from regular society. They spend every waking hour either hitting a ball or thinking about hitting a ball. I follow them to watch them hit said ball. (It also feels pertinent to mention that i only speak English and many of these players do not have english as a mother tongue. I can't expect perfect nuanced conversations this way).

So. Ben liked some transphobic posts. Could he be transphobic? Maybe. But also maybe not. Or maybe with a couple conversations he could learn to not be. I can't affect that. What I can do is find him funny and nice enough in videos, and talented at tennis. I can recognise that he is young, and deals with a lot of racism himself, which I'd hope would make him more sympathetic to people experiencing other kinds of prejudice. I can decide to continue to support him. Despite what I said in my last post about him, you do not have to.

TLDR my support for a tennis player is not unequivocal support for them as a person

[weebsinstash]

Dunno if you watched SK8 the Infinity, but one important conflict is literally the protagonist Reki becoming extremly insecure and unmotivated in skating after seeing how his new friend Langa (a snowboarder) who has barely started skating is a prodigy and so much better at it than him, who has been skating since he was a child.

Langa is naturally talented at skating while Reki works hard and still cannot measure up to someone who just started, which makes him consider quit skating altogether and leads him to distance himself from Langa because of insecurity and jealousy.

Those type of scenarios just pull at the heartstrings, you know?? Like there is nothing worse than working hard and still feeling inferior to the people around you, which DOES make for juicy angsty scenarios :)(

No but literally those are the kinds of plots where you kinda immerse yourself in the grief and it can be empowering to see your underdog recover, but also GOD is that shit so depressing and hits close to home, for real the kind of plots I soak up and throw pity parties for myself for lol

You know I've been pretty open about it but like, every so often I get compliments on my writing that are very sweet, but ultimately I do have to acknowledge like 😅 I AM basically a self taught high school drop out. So especially when I personally start writing about these sorts of stories "lol what if Reader is a depressed fucking loser absolutely struggling through the mediocre machinations of life and has Strong Hot Person come save them" like. You know where that's coming from lmao 😂 extremely unsettle but I figure what I write is usually relatable enough that it's like why the fuck not be a little personal sometimes

God though I had initially considered that when I was talking about like the Spiderverse You vs YouTwo ideas, initially considered making YouTwo drastically superior to you, but the route I've decided on is, you're on equal footing and there are certain things you each do better than the other but, seeing them be better than you at anything is salt in your wounds since you're feeling replaced.

I also like obviously have mentioned it several times but like. Living with Damian Wayne specifically would be absolute awful for this scenario, especially if you make your yandere mean or whatever. Like you could be minding your own goddamn business doing your favorite hobby and have this snot nosed fucking 10 year old (this one, the nasty one, before he gets tamed down, potentially by you?) and he's just like "that's not how you're supposed to do it" and physically takes it out of your hands, does it for you, and explains to you what you were doing wrong the entire time

Like imagine platonic yandere Damian who can't communicate his feelings for shit and is still deep in his Little Hellion Phase so you think he's just constantly insulting you and trying to show how much better and smarter than you he is when in reality he's just like. Very Poorly being like, "oh, a chance to show my sibling how cool and smart I am, and then I can teach them and they'll like me :) and they like to learn new things so I should teach them as much as I know and they can feel smart too :)" and on your end you're thinking he's an egotistical MEAN little kid who's making you extremely insecure and feel worthless and stupid and maybe sometimes often he's, not always using the best language with you because he wasn't really raised with kindness. "Why would you think THAT'S how you do it?" With a tone like youre a fucking idiot, "I don't understand what you're not seeing, I've been doing this for years and I'm an actual child"

like genuinely it's all of those "someone else one upping you" ideas but WORSE because you can't leave this fucking house and he's TEN. Youve got a fucking TEN YEAR OLD physically and mentally one upping you CONSTANTLY with the mental abilities of like a fucking adult man. I feel like the entire family being trained in violence, you'd think they would understand having like a physical fight and have probably had many themselves, but the second YOU lose your temper and put a hand on any of THEM, SACRILEGE. Damian couldve been saying the cuntiest things to your face and the SECOND you swing on him, just absolutely lose your shit, suckerpunch that brat in his face, give him a literal black eye that he didn't block because he didn't expect his beloved sibling to hit him, Bruce is UP YOUR ASS about, "you know better than this! That's your brother!!" like straight up, I think messing with one of the Robins or members of his family is the fastest way to have yandere Bruce lose patience with you and do something less loving. Takes away privileges, grounds you, makes you do labor around the house or labor for him in the cave or Damian, forces you to apologize and also acknowledge "that my brother just wanted what was best for me 🙄"

He's the kind of overbearing calculating shit where he waits until everyone is at the family dinner table and he casually pauses in between spoonfuls of soup, "so I see sister has been sneaking out of the house. You didn't do a very good job of washing the cigarette smoke out of your jacket" ousting you in a double whammy combo for sneaking out without permission AND smoking, and of course you're responding something like "you little PRICK!!" and now Bruce is standing up, jabbing a finger towards the stairs as he demands you go to your room with the unspoken threat that's he's coming up there to speak to you about this after everyone eats

Like legit living in that house would be a nightmare because everyone is gifted and everyone's doing somersaulting backflips and it's like. Lmao my knees pop when I stand up :) you're all like insanely gifted in your fields and I'm like. Normal. Some would say a simple minded burnout, even. Like. Lmao. Imagine a scenario where you're still independent and doing your own thing bur Bruce is, you know yandere mode and keeping tabs on you, and he's constantly trying to like, nudge you towards better opportunities. You're in costume on a rooftop and suddenly he's asking you about your schooling. You're working a shitty day job and one day the in universe equivalent sends you am email "based on your qualifications, this employer is interested in your resume" and its a super well paying WayneTech job that you. Turn down because you'd either fail the drug test and don't think you're good enough lmao. Bruce just tearing his hair out as he decides "ok fine I'll make your life better by force" and just starts buying your apartment building and where you work or some shit so he can improve your quality of life from the outside

[paddingtonfan69]

ok getting on a soapbox about fanfiction for a second, apologies!!!

~four years ago I got back into writing fanfic in a big way and it was a true joy! one of the reasons it was so great is bc of the ol ao3 comment section! ofc hearing all those nice things was swell for my ego, but beyond that, it was a tool for building community. literally next month I am going to a the wedding of a friend that I originally met the comment section of ao3, how cool is that!!!!

but in the last four years, the comment rate has dropped like hell and everyone knows it!! there are a myriad of reasons that ppl smarter than me have noted, like people treating ao3 like social media or a transaction or an algorithm or whatever. bad stuff!

i’d never really felt the comment drop off as much maybe bc I’ve mostly been in smaller (and more desperate lol) fandoms, but this weekend I dropped a little agatha along fic. (which you should all read hehe it’s fun!) but this, as we know, is a fandom that is very popular right now! and boy that’s a different experience. so let’s look at these stats:

okay brag that it got over 500 kudos in two days, wow slay! but, as you can see, there are also only 17 comments. only 3.4% of the people who liked it thought it was worth saying a nice little thing?? come on girlies we can do better than this!!!

obvi part of it is me wanting the little dopamine hit, but it’s more than that! this is coming from someone who’s fic is doing WELL, like imagine you’re newer to writing fic and you don’t get those wonderful notes of encouragement to keep going!! fandom can be such a welcoming place and ao3 comments are truly such an easy and kind way to open the door to that community! do better!!

i’m tagging the fandom hehe bc I looove to inspire some good old fashioned shame :)

anyway if you’ve read this, go comment on a bunch of fic bc it makes people’s days!! okay bye!!!

[intrulogical]

shakes you. YOU DON'T GET IT GUYS!!! working through intrusive thoughts is one of the best sasi episodes for how much it reveals about logan and remus and yes i am biased to intrulogical but there is!!!! a reason!!!!

obviously beforehand we just acknowledged remus as one of the people logan debated against throughout the series but no THIS time we have to acknowledge how they're two sides of the same coin!! they r the same kind of character!! there's an implied deeper narrative connection between these two by how much remus KNOWS about logan's vulnerabilities and actively pushes his buttons more than any other side does to get him to snap!!!

to explain, one of the reasons this episode is so important is because we gain the opportunity to learn more about remus as a character. in dwit, we're just introduced to his personality— gruesome, random LOL humor, a bother. but what wtit establishes is how he perceives being viewed as a bother AND how his "random LOL" personality is actually more deliberate than what we thought it is.

one— remus is bothered by being ignored. "you're going to pretend i don't exist so i'm gonna pretend you don't exist" is the BIGGEST evidence of that, coupled with the fact that this sentence exactly mirrors what apparition!nico said to thomas. in fact, the fact that these two match completely proves that what remus is projecting onto thomas through nico isn't just thomas' insecurities but some of remus' as well. this is my first talking point on why i think remus and logan are different sides of the same coin. they are suppressed!!! they are LITERALLY fighting for thomas' attention in the episode.

and they both lose. holy shit guys. they r literally the sides thomas hate the most and they literally both lose and thomas doesn't listen to them and!!! ARE YOU HEARING ME THEY R NARRATIVE MIRRORS!!!!!

and second— i'd love to add that remus is proven to be extremely deliberate. people like to write remus as someone "who does anything he wants for no reason" but that's not the entire story. think of it this way: remus HAS left-field goals and aspirations, but he is extremely committed to fulfilling them, which makes him deliberate. his entire thing in wtit is to bother thomas as much as possible, and he stays COMMITTED to that. he has plans and he thinks and he's smarter than what most people believe. why do you think he had a notepad w all his plans written on it????

again, he IS a mirror to logan, not only in methodology but end goals??? like do you ever wonder what role remus serves as a side. and i mean obviously he's intrusive thoughts and we all hate intrusive thoughts, but in essence, each side believes they are benefiting thomas whether you agree with their methods or not. remus imposes his ideas onto thomas because he believes them to be beneficial. in this situation where thomas is at his lowest, remus actually serves an interesting role of being thomas' alarm clock.

what do i mean by that? what i mean is, so much of the series shows the sides seemingly finding a perfect solution for each predicament they go through. but in reality, thomas going through issues by himself is SUPER unhealthy and unrealistic. remus serves as a reality checker to thomas. the more intrusive thoughts thomas receives in uncontrollable amounts, the more thomas would realize that hey, maybe i SHOULD go see a therapist for my problems.

AGAIN, ANOTHER MIRROR TO LOGAN BC I CAN'T GET ENOUGH. logan is the one who imposes the alarms in wtit to remind thomas to do certain chores. these two are basically cues for thomas to actually RESPOND to his mental health issues, but logan is more solution-based while remus is more emotion-based.

AND THEY R WHAT, STILL NOT LISTENED TO! but the important thing to realize is that, w so many implications about them being mirrors, something is Bound to happen, specifically to logan, that would eventually reach thomas and slap him into reality. remus and logan share the same goal, after all— to be listened to and for thomas to recognize his mental health issues. when remus says "gee logan now you're speaking my language" after logan got mad at him, remus is saying "now you understand why i use emotion as a means of getting other people's attention (and i hope you know who to use that against next time)" AND THAT MAKES ME INSANE. REMUS AND LOGAN R INSANE. they r scary powerful as a tandem and may change the course of thomas' life in the future and PLEASE SEE MY VISION Y'ALL THEY R MIRRORS

[little-elf-wanders]

I just realised how bad Effie and Solas are going to interact.

Like, they will straight up not agree, and this time it isn't even because I just don't like him - because there's potential for him to further explain what he meant with his plans and for me to change my mind if it makes sense, however, so far all we have to go off of doesn't paint him in a good light. No matter what romanticists say to defend him. We don't have the facts. Specifically for a Rook. It paints him very much as destroying the world. Multiple characters have reacted like that's what he's doing, the biggest example being Varric himself when he outright says it in the comic. So those of us who aren't reading into every little comment he made takes it for what he said it as. Which hasn't been much. And it's pretty alarming of a concept without absolute assurances. I don't take his 'lol trust me' message well, because I don't trust him.

But what I know for a fact is Effie's Mournwatch beliefs directly conflict with Solas's. And it'll be interesting to see if that has any weight in game.

They both care about spirits, that's about the biggest connection they have. The issue is they both have differing views on how that care takes place.

Solas, of course, created the Veil, but he hasn't been around to properly see what it does with spirits in this world. We see a reaction to mages binding a demon like it's the first time he's seen it. He's reactive and horrified - one Mortalitisi he even killed somewhere else, though I believe it was because of an idol they were using and for making a wisp stir their tea. Fair play to him with idol tampering and knowing abuse of a spirit.

He's seeing spirits be twisted against their nature and it is his fault. The mages doing the binding are people who don't have the same understanding of how spirits operate, though, so you can't under any circumstance blame them for thinking they're doing what was taught to them is alright. You cannot kill those mages in blind anger for not knowing what you know.

When confronting the mages, he tells them he's not helping them. Tell me why the fuck it's an ego brush he prefers about being smarter and not 'He's right, there's something about this you don't know!'

The rifts are opening everywhere spitting out demons, and they are terrified, they are hunted by rogue Templars in a mage/templar war that left a lot of angry outliers, and his only thought to them not knowing other than doing what Circles taught them is they deserve death? If they knew better sure, but very clearly they did not.

I'm showing this because Solas is extremely knowledgeable and could have chosen to teach that spirits are different from demons and that pulling one from the fade and binding it just warps it against its nature, then shown them how it went back to being a spirit. I'm aware this was his friend, so some aggression and reactiveness is understandable. But tell me why there wasn't an option to talk him down? Or to have the option to give him a way to see that some people don't understand? It was simply 'let him murder these people for which he'll love you, or disagree and he'll hate it.' And I'm not sympathetic to that at all, I would have respected him more if we got given literally any other reaction besides murder them for his approval. The mages were scared and upset, that isn't a reason to murder them. Were they wrong? YES. Obviously. But it could have been something so much fucking more. Lavellan knows this. Or she should.

Now back to Effie. We know this about Solas, she does not. The thing is, the Mournwatch seems to respect the dead. And spirits. Maybe not all of them hold those views like a certain Mortalitisi but I'm going into this believing Effie certainly does, and I suspect Emmrich does too given Manfred. She believes when someone dies a spirit is shunted from the fade. If this is true? Effie will be furious at Solas for creating the Veil without a shred of thought for it just to use the spirits as an excuse to break it. He cares more about the spirits than people. His own people are just the exception but you can't threaten what he has and only accept some. I'm curious how this might play out, if it does at all.

His biggest aim was to lock away the gods, but it completely disrupted how Thedas now operates, including how it grew - and how some countries have zero information to work with because they fear the unknown. While some respect it, like Nevarra and Rivain. Even Avvar hold a huge respect for spirits. Effie see's it as part of the ecosystem, now - which might be a wrong thought to have but those spirits are now part of that and have been for long enough there will be a significant issue or problem if it's suddenly removed. And that's entirely Solas's doing. Maybe I'm wrong to believe there'll be an issue, a magic fix it seems anticlimactic when they've built up his whole scheme to be apocalyptic.

So, if he gets mad at how the Mournwatch find the spirits suitable bodies and handle the supernatural issues from said spirits going berserk, she's fully going to tell him he's the reason why they need to find them bodies in the first place and he doesn't get to judge or break it because it's hard to stomach. They do this so they DON'T turn into demons.

And that maybe there's some other way to fix it that doesn't involve shady ass schemes and with-holding vital information that could change how systems do teach these subjects. But I don't know. She loves spirits more than people, she appears apathetic to people but she doesn't want them to bloody explode or be ripped apart.

[deansmom]

listen it’s 2021, nobody can yell at me for my Hot Takes on the w*nchester bros and specifically sam because none of you care about me anymore lmao

and no, I will not be responding to defenses of these things, I just want to yell about this because I can’t stop thinking about it now

I don’t think anything demon!dean said to sam was out of line, not really, because like yeah, it was mean whatever, but sam has said WAY crueler things to and about dean when he was just a normal human person. but dean gets crucified for being a demon and fully expressing himself and his trauma and his feelings? nah fuck that lmao

I’m up to s8 in my rewatch and it’s absolutely wild to me how sam STILL thinks he’s better than dean. not only does he still somehow think he’s smarter, but he also thinks he’s BETTER than dean. that dean’s like, a bad person or whatever - as if both of them aren’t mass murderers ffs

this mans really said “I don’t know if my brother is alive or dead...... hm sucks for him I guess lol.” like yeah, sure, trauma, whatever. everybody handles and processes trauma differently, I know, but seriously sam??? sure, take a couple months if you need it, but just - no effort? didn’t even try? didn’t even do a quick google search? 

just fucking ditched kevin, a SIXTEEN YEAR OLD KID, and then got mad at dean when dean was like “dude wtf is the matter with you this kid was our responsibility” 

fandom ALWAYS wants to talk about how dean’s the more toxic one but damn, dean gets one friend - his first friend who isn’t cas!!! - and sam’s like “lmao this dude has to die” LITERALLY ONLY BECAUSE DEAN KILLED AMY, WHO WAS KILLING INNOCENT PEOPLE (for a good reason, sure, but like, she was still killing innocent people and benny’s out here just minding his own business, stealing AB- negative blood because they can get blood transfusions from any negative blood type!! his old ass wasn’t hurting anybody) and the episode before sam finds out about benny they let kate go be a werewolf and then when dean mentions that to sam about benny he’s like “so?! she was a victim!” and he’s like “and benny hasn’t done anything wrong!” and sam just doesn’t give a shit lmao

he ALWAYS bitches about how dean doesn’t trust him and I’m just sitting here like??? damn bro I WONDER FUCKING WHY. sam only takes responsibility for his actions when it’s convenient for him, generally when he’s being portrayed as the victim, and it!!!!!! [screams into a pillow]

dean’s like “he’s never given me a reason to doubt him” (about benny) and sam immediately goes “well it must be nice to find that” and dean takes a second to figure out what sam’s talking about and it’s just like WOW, didn’t fucking mean it like that, but yeah IT IS NICE SAM TO HAVE A FRIEND THAT THUS FAR HASN’T BETRAYED ME, IT’S A GOOD FEELING like tf is the matter with you dude come on

OH OH OH and when dean came back from hell in s4 sam’s going around like “dean’s weak he can’t handle it” but doesn’t try to help his brother?????? doesn’t offer him emotional support or validation or anything that you should offer someone who’s just been through something profoundly traumatic and is ~*~struggling~*~ to keep themselves afloat. 

listen dean certainly isn’t an unproblematic saint in this relationship specifically, but sam is SO MEAN??? ALL THE TIME??? and I know it’s because especially in the early seasons he associates dean with his dad and him and john never got along because they were too much alike, blah blah blah, whatever,  it’s still not cool to project your trauma onto other people and take it out on them. 

will I ever be over 9.13? no. no I will not, because that was the cruelest thing that could have maybe ever been said to dean, and yeah again, trauma, whatever, but like......... if you’ve been traumatized and your response is to purposefully emotionally devastate someone that you know 1) had no malicious intentions and 2) is emotionally unstable and perpetually suicidal, I’m allowed to hate you wtf??? 

sam knows NOTHING about his brother. 

like ok in the fic that I’ve been writing somebody was like “it’s very in character but edgier but dean didn’t hate john” and listen, I TRULY think that dean hated him in canon. yeah, even in s1. watch 2.01 again, watch the episode where john is possessed by azazel, the dream root episode, I think it’s 12.22 that speech with mary, but like, especially on my rewatch, I cannot read their relationship as anything other than at that point neither one of them liked each other. something happened in between sam leaving and dean coming to get him, and dean went searching for john out of obligation and an excuse to see sam. 

you can’t convince me that john liked dean. of course he loved him, a familial obligation was deeply ingrained in that man, but I don’t think he liked dean at all. I think dean reminded him of mary, I think he thought dean was too soft, and to be completely honest, I don’t think he liked that dean listened to him so easily. john wanted to be in charge, obviously, but he’s such an antagonistic fuck always looking for a fight with somebody, that it probably bothered him that dean didn’t really push back. john didn’t think he was assertive enough, dean just didn’t want to be used as a punching bag, and I’ve always figured there was some sort of blowout after sam left between the two of them and they didn’t really talk much after that. “it was the worst night of my life” is what dean called the night sam left for stanford, and while his little brother leaving would’ve been devastating, I don’t think that alone would qualify it (in season 5, mind you, after hell and the hellhounds and everything) as the worst night of his life. I also think that’s why john was such a POS in s1 when they found him, giving dean shit for the impala, y’know. god, I really fucking hate him lmao

nobody seems to agree with me on this, but sam is very much his father’s son, and that’s why they never got along. the two of them were so much alike (and so self-centered) that they couldn’t help but butt heads together because they both wanted to be the center of attention, and also just enjoy picking fights. and like, I think this is a big reason why dean has a harder time being honest with sam than sam has with being honest with dean. because dean sees john when he looks at sam, and sam just sees dean. and sam’s like “why don’t you talk to me dean” and dean probably just hears his dad making fun of him for being honest or talking about his feelings or yelling at him. 

familial/generational trauma genuinely makes it hard to interact in meaningful and productive ways, I get it, believe me I do, but sam is just so... cruel sometimes? and I think dean really worked his way through a solid portion of that trauma by the end of the show, and I don’t think sam ever really did.

Dean: All right, you want to be honest? If the situation were reversed and I was dying, you'd do the same thing.

SAM [very softly]: No, Dean. I wouldn't. Same circumstances...I wouldn't. I'm gonna get to bed.

see, when I say sam is cruel, this is the shit I’m talking about because that is a bald faced lie and sam knows it. he said it specifically to hurt dean. he didn’t mean it, and he fucking knows that, but he knows that it will devastate dean to hear that, so he says it. 

anyways, sam fights dirty all the time. it’s 2024 now and I have no notes for past me, she was right. 

[katnissdoesnotfollowback]

For the WIP game, do you have plans to add add any more to Outside the Lines from the Outside Chance universe? You single-handedly got me shipping Prim & Rye(n) hard b/c of this fic 😂 And from in progress, You + Me and/or The Cold Side of the Bed?

Alright, we'll cover all three. <3 Below the cut because it's a lot of text.

Friend. I am totally going to throw my beta under the bus on this one. PRIM AND RYEN WERE NEVER PLANNED. I was not gonna go there. Buttercupbadass, however, had other ideas. "Wouldn't it be funny if Prim's 'spa day' was her sneaking away to be with Ryen???" she asked. "Oh it's so cute she had a crush on him!" she says. "Screw it. I want them [Prim & Ryen] to get married," she puts in her edits/comments on ch 17 of Outside Chance, and not on a Prim and Ryen interaction even. That's what bba commented when Prim is saying goodbye to Eirik when she and Katniss are leaving Skaid after their summer visit!

Thus began an entire barrage of her reasoning, possible scenes and dialog, and then... THEN bba mentioned how funny it would be if Katniss accidentally saw a naked Ryen in the background of a Skype call one day and I lost it. So much of that story has roots in my personal life and well... so does that, unfortunately. But after that, the whole concept became too delicious for me to resist. And also, bba was right. They belong together.

I absolutely plan on adding more to Outside the Lines. At the moment, I feel the need to finish writing the next chapter of Outside Chance because that's the root story. I build Outside the Lines and Outside Expectations around what's in Outside Chance, and in a lot of ways, Otl and OC are kind of written simultaneously. So here's a snippet from the next chapter of Outside the Lines and lord help me if bba sees this, I won't hear the end of her prodding to get it done lol ;)

--

“So you’re the flavor of the week. Is there anything you can tell me about Ryen’s mental state going into this competition?”

“If I were really just the flavor of the week, why would you think I’d have any insight into his mental state?” I retort. There’s not much I remember about Agnes Mellark, other than a vague impression of cold aloofness. But how much of my idea of her has been stained by what Katniss and Ryen have told me about her? I don’t know.

I can’t even tell if she recognizes me right now. Maybe it’s too soon to play this hand, but I can’t resist. Maybe because it’s proof that I know Ryen far better than any of his previous flings. Maybe even better than the woman confronting me right now.

“Aren’t you his mother? You should have a better idea of his mental state than me,” I say with a smile. Really, I’d like to stab her in the jugular, but with what? Couldn’t smuggle in a knife, and am unfortunately not wearing my favorite four inch heels, which would be a perfect weapon.

Agnes purses her lips and her eyes wrinkle at the corners. Oh shit, I think and prepare to run, but she shakes her head and chuckles slightly.

“I wish I could say that my son were smart, but he usually thinks more with his dick than his brain,” she says and eyes me. “You’re every bit as beautiful as the others, but smarter, aren’t you?”

“I’d like to think I am,” I say.

“Good. Maybe you actually have a shot at getting him to commit, but don’t hold your breath for it. He won't admit it, but he needs someone with a brain to keep him in line, to challenge him and keep him from squandering his talent.”

“Multiple Olympic medals and world cup titles count as squandering his talents?” I ask. She takes a step back from me and I hold in my triumph that I got a response. 

“Maybe not, but his personal life is a mess. I just want to make sure you deserve him and treat him the way you should. Don’t be like that trash his younger brother keeps falling for.”

Oh no. She did not. Fuck this bitch. I don’t need a knife to destroy her.

"Oh you mean my sister?" I say with a wide smile and hold out my hand to her. "I guess you don't remember me. Primrose Everdeen."

**

You + Me is another one of my outstanding Everlark Fic Exchange prompts. This one is from 2019 (I think? *cringes in shame*), and was for either K or P as a romance novelist who secretly uses the other for inspiration in their writing. What happens when they find out?

This one has been super fun to write, if a little slow going, mainly because there are multiple moving pieces to it. Now for a snippet!

--

Katniss… we live together when we travel. I think I’m aware of all your annoying habits by now. ;)

And here I thought I was something of an enigma.

Nope. Open book to me.

Shit. 

Does he mean…?

My brain is scrambling, but I take a deep breath and manage to reign it in. He knows I’m a published writer. His words could merely be a reference to that. This can’t be good. Has he already figured it out?

Before I start plotting a heist to break into his house for a book burning party, I manage a decent, mostly innocuous text.

Hey what’s the title of the book you’re reading? Maybe I know it and can spoil the ending for you. ;)

Not on your life, Everdeen.

Just reached a plot twist in between your texting barrage. 

A delicious plot twist. ;)

Oh?

The hero is not who I was expecting. Dun duh dun!

The wheels squeal and I rush off the train as fear rises up in my throat. Oh god, he’s figured it out. What gave me away? The food porn passages, probably. He’s got to be reading The Thrill of the Hunt. That’s the only one I can think of where I pulled a bait and switch with the hero. 

The street is crowded and I have to tuck my phone in my pocket to navigate the crowds. When I get there, I’m still unable to answer him because even though I’m early to meet my editor, she’s ready for me.

“Katniss, darling! Welcome, welcome! Have a seat please. The cappuccino is fresh,” Effie trills as I’m ushered into her office and offered coffee.

Oh this cannot be good. Whenever Effie has liked my pages, she forgets her manners. Excitement precludes etiquette. But when a writer needs a kick to the creative pants… that’s when she’s the picture of perfect manners.

“That bad?” I ask when her assistant is finally gone, the door shut and a hot cappuccino gripped in my hands.

“They were...how to say this…?”

“Shit,” I supply and she scowls at my language.

**

And finally, since you asked about it, The Cold Side of the Bed was something I started for one of the "This Would Have Happened Anyway" challenges. I don't remember which one, only that the prompt was for Everlark in District 13. I never managed to finish it, in fact I've barely started it beyond a vague outline and the opening scenes, mainly because I was still finishing my degree at the time and pretty much would crash after finals then not be able to muster up the energy to write fanfic. But also because it kind of turned into an epic story. Short synopsis: Non-reaped Everlark winds up married to different people after their last reaping. The rebellion still happens and 12 is still bombed. Some of the story would be about them getting to 13, but the juicy stuff happens while they are in 13.

--

When I wake, the other side of the bed is cold. I reach out through the rough material, seeking a shred of the warmth that would exist if Primrose didn’t still climb into our mother’s bed after a nightmare. Not that I am surprised she had a nightmare last night. This is the day of the reaping, after all. I slowly lift my head to peer across the room at them. The three of them curled together for comfort. My mother, my sister who grows more achingly beautiful every day, and the ugliest yellow cat in the world. He sees me watching and hisses at me.

“Yeah, I know you’d be happy if they called my name today. Lucky for you, they just might.”

After all, my name is in the bowl 28 times today. I dress and join Gale in the woods, relaxing as I make my way through the thick summer foliage to our meeting place.

“How’re you planning on celebrating your freedom?” he asks as we make our way back towards the fence when we’re done hunting. It’s been a glorious day and we’ve got quite the haul. I’ll need the woods to keep providing like this in a few weeks. When the Games end this year, I start working in the mines.

I shudder slightly and give Gale a look. He just shakes his head and laughs. I don’t need to say it. It’s not exactly freedom, aging out of the reaping and into working down in those mines.

“You thought about what I said?”

“Gale,” I say and stop walking right before we reach the fence. He stops too and sighs, looks up at the sky. “I told you I can’t think about that right now. Not when Prim will still be—.”

“And I’ve got Rory still eligible and Posy about to start in a few years, but I’m still thinking about it. How’d you explain that? How about Nathan Dawson and Lilah Bronski? They’ve already decided they’re getting married some time after the reaping if they both make it through. Lots of people think about it, Catnip, and lots of people do it.”

“Well lots of people are stupid then,” I snap and Gale sighs.

“Alright look, just forget I said anything. Let’s go make our trades before we make you late.”

[befuddled-calico-whump]

i dare you to write a drabble or something based off of that dream

Dare accepted. (the aforementioned dream)

cw: beating, broken bones, mean friends (lol)

"Why can't I go with you?" Even as the question passed his lips, Romulus knew how stupid it was to ask.

He wasn't the newest member of the Order of Ruin, and he sure as hell wasn't the weakest. He'd even wager he was the Order's best mage; at the very least their best evocationalist. But none of that changed the fact that he was the grandson of a lord. Even disinherited, his education had been the best money could buy, and his surname granted him a facade of respect in most cities, at least until people figured out who he was working with these days.

"Six people's already pushing it. Seven would be damn near impossible," the leader of their little group, Meryn, said in reply, not even glancing back at him. She was sat on a fallen log, shaping a wrist-thick oak branch with a dagger. "Besides, I have a job for you."

"Oh?" Rom cocked his head, feigning interest, though he was already wary. Only the gods could've counted the number of pointless details he'd been sent on, seemingly for no other reason but to temporarily get rid of him. "What kind of job?"

"Infiltrating Dusken Keep is only half the work," she said, a sliver of bark taking flight as she made a rapid slice down the branch. "We still need to get Sir Gilean and his merry band of nitwits to show up."

"I take it that's where I come in." It sounded useful at least, and even had the potential to be fun. If he played his cards right, maybe he could impress the rest of the team, and the Order would stop letting his talents go to waste. "What were you thinking? I could cut off the roads. Start a storm. Herd them towards the keep and force them to take shelter. Or--"

"No," Meryn cut him off. "They've overcome obstacles before, and I don't like our odds of facing them head-on. The only way to defeat Gilean is by springing a trap on him. " She cast a smile over her shoulder. "And you'll be the bait."

Naturally. Rom couldn't quite hide the scowl that darkened his features. "I see."

"Oh don't look so upset, Hart. Your role is essential."

"What am I to do?" Rom snapped. "Wave my arms, fire a few lightning bolts at the sky, and hope they'll chase me all the way to Dusken?"

"I had something smarter in mind." At last, she spun fully around. Good. If she was hell-bent on giving him stupid orders, she should at least have the decency to look him in the eye throughout.

"You'll guide them there personally," she said, "and ensure they don't veer off course."

"Guide them? You don't think they'll recognize me?"

Meryn rolled her eyes. "Not everyone knows or cares who you are, Hart."

"Gilean's seen my face. He knows I'm with the Order," Rom protested.

"So you'll tell him you've had a change of heart." She sheathed her blade, flicking a residual chunk of bark off the makeshift club in her lap. "That you've 'seen the error of your ways', and wish to redeem yourself by leading him to a secret meeting at Dusken Keep."

Not only did she want him as bait, she wanted him to play a traitor. The insult wasn't lost on him. "I'd never betray the Order," he said indignantly. "Even someone as thick as Gilean will see right through that lie."

The corner of Meryn's mouth quirked up. "You're right. He'll never fall for it, not unless you've dressed the part."

Before he could ask what she meant, the newly-carved club struck him in the stomach. Rom doubled over, more surprised than anything else, and dumbly remained there as Meryn cracked a second blow into his ribcage.

In his peripheral, he could see the rest of his teammates emerging from the treeline, surrounding him, but by then his initial shock had worn off. The incantation for a shielding ward was on his lips; the familiar buzz of lightning sprung to his fingertips---

"I thought you'd never betray the Order."

---and immediately fizzled out. Damn it all, this was how it was going to be? He could fight back. He knew he stood a chance, even six to one, but he also knew that was what Meryn wanted. One blow, one move in self-defense, and she'd have a reason to kick him out. The only way to avoid that, to prove all of them wrong, to show that he was serious, that he belonged here, was to shut up and take it.

So Rom did.

As the blows hit him in a flurry---the unskilled kicks and jabs of the mages, the sharper punches from the group's muscle, the bone-cracking swings from Meryn's club---all Rom did was try to protect his face and not bite off his own damn tongue.

Even when he dropped to his knees, then to his side, curling up to protect his abdomen, the attacks didn't cease. The world was a blur of boots. A haze of pain, spiking white-hot whenever someone scored a lucky hit and he felt something break or give in a way it shouldn't.

The beating went on beyond logic, zipping right past 'because it'll look more believable', right into 'because we hate you'. Rom tried to pretend the tears distorting his vision were only because of his probably-broken nose, and dully wondered if a real betrayal was part of their plan. If they wanted him to call it quits and actively turn against the Order. Hell if he would. He wouldn't give up so easily, he'd show them--

"Enough." Meryn's voice rang out above the soft thuds of boot on flesh, and for a moment the clearing was quiet, the only sound Rom's shuddering gasps.

He whimpered through clenched teeth, aware of every inch of himself, how the pain throbbed like an uneven heartbeat, how it drove spikes through his chest with every breath.

Meryn's fingers tangled themselves in his hair, forcing his head up. Not gentle, but not overly rough either. Rom tried to hold her stare, but the world spun around him.

"There. Think that's enough to fool him?" she said, still half out of breath.

Rom didn't try to answer. He knew anything he managed to say wouldn't be coherent anyway.

"Gilean's party will be traveling through these parts in a day or so," Meryn said, releasing him. He didn't have the strength to hold himself up, and went face-first into a cluster of dead leaves.

A day or so. Gods, was she just going to leave him here? Was he supposed to drag himself through the woods, calling for help until Gilean maybe stumbled upon him?

She must've wanted him to protest. To give up, to go home. To cry, and beg her not to make him do this.

But he wouldn't. He'd show her, show them. Romulus Hart was worthy of the Order of Ruin.

When he said nothing, Meryn shrugged. "Well. You know the plan. Bring them to Dusken Keep. We'll be waiting."

Her boots crunched over dead leaves as she walked away, leaving him alone.

[underworld-park-offical]

TOLKIEN: Can you believe this shit, Jimmy?

JIMMY: H-h-h-hey

JIMMY: D-d-d-d-don't d-d-d-diss s-s-someone w-w-w-with b-b-b-big d-d-d-dreams 

JIMMY: N-n-n-not cool

TOLKIEN: I will if said dreams are ridiculous and stupid

TOLKIEN: Like being a jackass influencer

STAN: Can we shut up about Craig being a Dollar Store Addison Rae, please?

STAN: I'm getting a migraine listening to this idiotic babbling about how many likes he has

STAN: Just stop, he already does it enough

KYLE: Didn't you start bullying him though?

KYLE: Because it was funny?

STAN: Well it's not now sooooo…. shut up

CLYDE: WHO WAS MOVING THE POINTER THINGIE ON THE BOARD PLEASE CONFESS I WILL CRY

KENNY: I thought you were “manly”

CARTMAN: Woah Kenny, it is 2023 and you’re still throwing around male stereotypes?

CARTMAN: You’re getting C A N C E L E D 

CARTMAN: GUYS KENNY DOESN’T THINK MEN SHOULD CRY

KENNY: HE LITERALLY SAID HE HAD BIG MAN HANDS

KENNY: HE ADMITTED TO GOING TO HOME DEPOT????

KENNY: WHAT AM I BEING CANCELED FOR TELLING THE TRUTH?????

CRAIG: Wow, Kenny, and I thought we were friends, Smh my head

KENNY: WHAT????????

TOLKIEN: Can you move things, Mr. Spirit, sir?

CRAIG: That was so  gay of you

CARTMAN: Why would you assume it was a man???

TOLKIEN: Why would you assume, it's an it?

CARTMAN: ….

TOLKIEN: Exactly

CRAIG: Preach 

CLYDE: IT'S MOVING IT'S MOVING IT'S MOVING AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA-

KENNY: CLYDE SHUT UP!!! AND STOP MOVING, I CAN'T SEE ANYTHING BEHIND YOUR FAT HEAD

CLYDE: I'M GONNA CRYYYYY

KENNY: GOOD

KYLE: S….u…..r……e

CRAIG: Sure?

CRAIG: So the ghost wants to be basic?

CRAIG: Lmao based

STAN: Oh my god shut up

STAN: Please.

TOLKIEN: It could have just used the yes, why would it go through so much effort to give an answer?

CLYDE: Maybe they want to be best friends and are worried about messing things up or being impolite?

CRAIG: That's so based of them, frfr, lol

STAN: A ghost wanting to befriend a bunch of high, lowlife teenagers?

STAN: Yeah, I'm not buying it

CLYDE: F….u….

CLYDE: AWHHH

JIMMY: N-n-n-n-nice g-going st-st-stan, you r-r-ruined our ch-chances of be-be-bef-f-friending C-Casper, a-asshole

STAN: There is no way you actually believe this, right?

STAN: We are all in a simulation

STAN: None of this is real

STAN: We are all in a coma because the government wants to control us

STAN: Trying to make us all boy kissing gays

STAN: But not me, no

STAN: I'm smarter than all of you, so I know I can't be controlled

STAN: This Ouija board is the way for the government to mind control us

STAN: Do not be deceived.

TOLKIEN: Shut up Stan, quit talking out of your ass

STAN: Ass….A…S…S……Actual…..Super…..Sexual…..Sexual as in….Homosexual….

STAN: YOU'RE A GOVERNMENT SPY!

KYLE: Ignore him, Tolkien

TOLKIEN: Have been.

STAN: YOU’RE ALL CONSPIRING AGAINST ME!

CRAIG: Lmao holy shit I need to record this

STAN: YOU'RE ALL JUST MAD BECAUSE I KNOW THE TRUTH!!! YOU ALL ARE BRAINWASHED!!!!

CRAIG: Stan…. bffr… smile for the camera

STAN: NO!!! THOSE CAMERAS PUT MICROCHIPS IN YOUR HAND LIKE THEY HAVE THE VACCINES

CRAIG: Is he /j or /srs rn?

KYLE: He's serious, unfortunately

KYLE: Let's just move on before I get an aneurysm

KENNY: Good idea

KYLE: Is…. anything moving?

TOLKEIN: Oh I don't know, Kyle, can a blind person see?

KYLE: ….

TOLKIEN: No, exactly

CLYDE: IT'S SO DARK IN HERE I'M AFRAID OF THE DARK!!!

TOLKIEN: No, Porkchop, you aren’t

CLYDE: I AM NOW!!

STAN: Everything is all so dark

STAN: It's what they want

KYLE: It's what who wants? STAN: Aliens…. they want to steal our sun…

CRAIG: Haha lmao imagine believing in aliens, couldn’t be me

JIMMY: Wh-wh-wh-what's that n-n-noise?

JIMMY: C-C–C–C–C-C-Craig…. Is th-the ac on?

CLYDE: TURN THE AC OFF YOU MONSTER!!

CLYDE: LEAVE US BE!!

CLYDE: WE WANTED TO BE FRIENDS BEFORE YOU TOLD US TO GO FUCK OURSELVES!

CLYDE: BUT NAY! NAY WE SAY! CLYDE: WE, THE HUMAN COUNCIL

TOLKIEN:...... What-

CLYDE: SAY GO FUCK YOURSELF

CLYDE: GOOD DAY SIR OR MA’AM CARTMAN: OR MX!

CLYDE: OR MIXTAPE

CRAIG: Lmao okay slay, ate, ate and left no crumbs. Not a single crumb inside, bro ate the plate too frfr

(EDITS MADE BY @Pissblanket)

[toomuchracket]

mads how’d you think d word matty would react to a family member in girlie’s family not liking their relationship together?

oh i'm imagining like you going for a girly day out with your mum and maybe a couple of aunts and cousins and whatnot, and one of them is quite outspoken and has the tendency to be a bit of a bitch - she's like "your mum told me you're seeing someone from work. in a band?", and you go all lovesick and blushy like you always do when someone mentions matty and say "yeah, i am. it's going well. we really like each other". and your aunt is like "how old is he?", and then when you tell her she's like "oh no, absolutely not". you're like "um what? why?", and she's quite patronising like "well you're only a baby. what could you possibly know about men? or about anything, really. no, you need someone your own age - this boyfriend you have now will inevitably dump you when the cluelessness stops being cute, or when he decides (as he should, at his age) to settle down and you're not ready. no, i don't like him for you. actually, i could set you up with-". at that point, your mum interrupts because she sees you getting upset like "that's enough. she's happy with him, he's happy with her, and he's lovely. let's change the subject now" (because, as we know, your parents really like matty).

anyway, the rest of the afternoon passes without incident. when you're on the train with your mum afterwards, she's like "don't let her get to you, honey" and you - lowkey seething about the whole thing now - say "easier said than done, mum"; your mum hugs you like "i know, i know. she was cruel". you're still seething when you get off the train - although you do laugh at the sight of matty and your dad in your dad's car, so engrossed in the football on the radio that they both jump in fright when you open the car door with a "hi!". once you climb in behind matty, he turns in his seat and leans past the headrest to kiss you sweetly like "hi, sweetheart. how was it?", and all you can do is sigh. your dad's like "oh dear. what was it with your aunt today?", and your mum says "disapproves of our daughter's relationship" - matty's aghast like "what?!", while your dad's like "oh, standard for her. what was her reasoning?", and you say "age gap, because i'm a clueless baby who knows nothing about men or the world, and i will inevitably be dumped when matty stops finding that cute or when he decides to settle down lol". matty's like "WHAT?! you're smarter than i am! and we LIVE together. that's settling down!", and you're like "yep, and mum said that we were happy and you're lovely, and she still wasn't convinced"; matty looks at your mum like "you really think that about me? awww. thanks", and she's like "of course,we love you!" while your dad ruffles matty's hair (lol) like "wouldn't worry about my sister-in-law's opinion, son, she still disapproves of me after all these decades". matty's like "really? why?", and you laugh like "oh you're about to hear family secrets. you genuinely can't leave me now, babe, or i'll have to kill you" - matty reaches his hand back behind the headrest for you to take and says "never gonna happen, sweetheart. you're stuck with me forever, i'm afraid. stuff what your aunt thinks lmao". but yeah, you go back to you and matty's and have a lovely dinner with your parents, and matty's very like "fuck her. let's continue to prove her wrong" about your aunt disapproving. cute! <3

[mono-red-menace]

i think we should all be a lot nicer to each other, honestly

and i also think i should go through and find all the people who I feel are approaching things wrong and just like. unfollow them.

like all the time i see people who have opinions i find correct, but approaches i find wrong, and even bad, but i feel like their reasons are correct, and the fact that they can justify their reasons with cited sources makes me feel like they're more intelligent than me, so they Can Do No Wrong or whatever. and i feel like unfollowing is Bad because it means that i'm like, idk. giving up on getting a source i feel like i can trust because they can cite their fucking sources in ways that i just can't because of my adhd.

like i can't remember Shit. i tried to read and take notes and stuff and i just Can't remember shit. even if i go over the same thing over and over, it's just super hard. so when someone else can, i give them a LOT of room to be less-than-stellar towards others because I feel like they're Smarter so it's okay, so I just Bite My Tongue and follow along in the ways I'm comfortable.

but like i'm starting to think that maybe I should focus less on people who i feel are The Most Qualified (even though they're really not all that qualified honestly) if it means that I feel like i'm becoming cruel, and if it means that it is contributing towards my unkindness toward myself.

and like i know this sounds silly but it ties into my Obsessions. i'm Obsessed with Moral Purity. I'm Obsessed with Factual Accuracy, Especially When It Comes To Morality. so like, if people have the Right Opinions, they get more leeway, and like I mean I'm not that smart anyways, and they're smarter than me, so like i CANT unfollow them because then i'd be losing out of Factual Accuracy.

and it feels silly that i'm obsessed with stuff like this, but I feel like i'm a Bad Incompetent Person and i need to Become Better and the only way to do so is to like. make sure im listening to the Right people and avoiding the Wrong people, and if i Stop focusing on that, then that must mean I'm going back to being Bad, which is Bad.

but i mean like i don't have to be wholly knowledgeable about everything. like, main thing is, i need to survive. i need to be happy. and I'm not contributing as much as I want to in the ways I need to, and part of that is because I'm too busy being cruel to myself, lol.

so im gonna actually resolve to start unfollowing people who i feel like are being dicks instead of just like. ignoring it or, sometimes even laughing at it and participating.

just like. idk man.

i've learned in my time here that being cruel to people doesn't actually make them do better. it often makes them do worse.

and this doesn't just apply to being cruel to someone for "being lazy," or "being a faker," or any of that ableist stuff. it also applies to being cruel to someone for not knowing something. and it's being cruel to someone for believing something they didn't know was misinformation.

like i'm going to be honest. i'm Much more likely to accept what someone is saying to me, even if it's wrong, if it's told to me in a kind manner. this is just true of like. almost anyone. and like idk. i know kindness doesn't mean correctness, but like, i'm more likely to try to engage with information and learn more about someone told me kindly than if I was berated for not knowing it.

like. idk. sorry. kindness is the approach. i've learned this firsthand. kindness is the only approach.

abuse is what got me into a state of no self confidence, of needing to be constantly reminded how to do things to the point where people would do it for me, not always because i couldn't remember (though that was also common), but because I was scared i'd be wrong. abuse is what got me to the point of physically harming myself by trying to do way more than i was capable of for fear of being "lazy" or "worthless."

and the only way I was able to stop it was to learn to be kind to myself.

so like idk. i'm reevaluating the things I'm Letting Slide for the sake of Moral Justness. and I'm putting confidence in myself that I won't fall away from my morals just because I don't try to surround myself with just The Most Morally and Factually Correct people to compensate for my own disabilities.

and also i'm going to stop surrounding myself with people who are dicks to people about not knowing things or struggling to do things the "correct" way due to disability.

like idk man. i think you're just being ableist. i think you're just being ableist when you make fun of people for trying to learn things in the ways they can, instead of struggling to do it in a way that they can't because it's "correct."

and like. idk man. i think sometimes you're just being a dick. not necessarily like ableist or anything like that. not something you'd necessarily feel like you'd have to fix, because you feel morally justified to Be a dick Unless it's Problematic. i just think that you're being a dick. lol.

i'm not going to put up with it anymore. I STG. i keep saying it and then not following thru bc some of the ppl i see being mean and stuff are mutuals, and I have this weird like. unhealthy connection thing about mutuals. but like i swear like this isn't good for me and it isn't good for the people around me. :|

[nemesis-is-my-middle-name]

I think the bonds making both parties stronger/smarter is really cool! A mutual benefit.

I think that its more a neuteral magic thats not a specific branch. I mean branches have a trunk a trunk has roots. I think its more of a unrefined clunky trunk type of magic than the branches are bc its a linking of souls a linking of magics which reach beyond their branch. Im thinking bonding with creatures has been around for a WHILE I mean the solacion ruins are a thing. 'Life touches Life to Create Something New and Alive' and That predates the clans I think. So bonds might predate the life manipulation magic branch or something.

I do think the life manipulation mages do it more tho! Its just a tendency and they form them better (I think it should be VERY hard to unconsentually do a bond like that, its is a matter of Souls after all. maybe it requires some form of divine, maybe for mortals to do it they need a divine instrument of some sort *looks at the orbs the clans have guarded for years that Irida has access to*) Tho a life manipulation mage could Absolutely block someones magic that sounds cool and its fitting but poor Ingo.

Wait if Ingo has his memories lost and Magic blocked can he summon his friends!! DOES CHANDELURE (Which might be a pun name or something idk) COME WITH HIM? IS SHE STUCK IN HIS TATOO?? WHAT ABOUT HIS OTHER FRIENDS?? NOOO THAT MAKES ME VERY SAD!!

oh i really like the idea that these bonds are like, a primal thing, magic agnostic, similarly to akari's powers. i do feel like this veers towards making pokemon a central part of the world again but i'm not actually averse to it in this way? since like, the wardens are gonna be here no matter what lol so bonding with animal companions is gonna Have to be here as a thing no matter what. (also this suggests to me that akari should have some sort of special familiar. creation starters v2?)

oooooh also at the idea that it's a specifically divine thing. which for the draconids would probably be via meteorite or mega stones? and would mean it could only be done by the lorekeeper and other high-ranking individuals, which is very fitting for their societal structure and the control they have over the swordguards. meanwhile for the clans it would be irida and adaman. it fits really well! also Yikes at the maybe-implication that somebody could steal the adamant/lustrous and use them to force a soulbond.

re: ingo's companions... hmm. i'm not really sure if the twins would even have the full teams that they have in canon, in this world? if soulbonding is such a special divine thing, it feels like maybe they would only have their aces, or something. + the fact that they can fight primarily with their own magic & so a big group of familiars isn't necessarily needed. orrr maybe they have pokemon companions, but only chandelure and eelektross are properly soulbound? with the rest being support/companions that help them with whatever their job is, but not to the same degree of intensity as a soulbond is. which i guess answers the second question: at most ingo would have access to chandelure, he'd have absolutely no way to contact the rest.

...hmmm... but then you've also got the fact that chandelure is sort of a partner to both ingo and emmet in their subway teams, so i sort of lean towards the idea that she's still with emmet, and can maybe sense her soulbond's location, but can't reach him. so then emmet's stuck deciding between going on a road trip with chandelure to try and chase him down, or staying and trying to actually do their jobs. maybe he sends chandelure by herself or with another companion to find him, bc he can't leave himself.

...alternately to all of this: whatever happened to ingo also snapped the soulbond he had with all his companions, which is also why irida didn't find any of them when she did her own warden-noble bonding on him. which would also mean that not only would they not really be able to track ingo, emmet and chandelure wouldn't even know if he was stil alive. what if the soulbond broke because he died?

[mygeekcorner]

mygeekcorner/757408949166342144

This post;

1, 2, 4, 5, 10 (FUCKING DUUHH?!), 14, 19, 22, 36, 37, 38 and 39

(enjoy bitch)

1, what are 3 things you’d say shaped you into who you are?

how do you look at back at a whole life and pinpoint when it twisted this way or that? we're all made up of so many more impressions than could ever fit into a neat little map. but sure, i'll try. 3 things among thousands that shaped me into the floundering 30 something wine hag you all know now

school? that sounds way too broad but heck it. the way it shaped that sense of self and where you belonged both in and outside of classrooms. up to junior high I was Good At School but Bad At People and that gave me exactly that awful self importance that kids who are good at nothing but reading get to make up for how lonely we feel. oh fuck you, you all know exactly what kind of smugness I'm talking about here. thankfully I got into a high school class of people way smarter And more ambitious than me which gave me some much-needed reality checks when the fatigue set in senior year. yay?

being a horse girl was a strange balance looking back at it. you were taught to be ocd levels of careful when cleaning up and taking care of the horse and the equipment, but you're also knee-deep in literal shit in the pouring rain cause someone dropped their riding crop when hacking out and you can't go home until you have all your shit together. it definitely hits the need to be perfect always, but also makes you kind of immune to filth and grit?

the friends I had as a teen. I know it must come as a shock to you all but I've always been a very akward nerd who isn't always the best at knowing what's socially accepted or social suicide rip but in middle school somehow 4 nerdy girls found each other, and then others, and I will be forever grateful that I had that bunch of dorks to hang out with as we navigated puberty, school, fandom introductions, and all that other good shit. there is a certain kind of bond you make when 8 girls squeeze onto one 90cm bed for the slumber party and I love that we looked like a pile of pigs (according to one girls younger sister one such morning)

2, show us a picture of your handwriting?

4, what’s an inside joke you have with your family or friends?

when we first got to know each other back in the day @magnusdidntwantablog was once kind enough to come pick me up from work when I was stationed at our store in the neighbouring town (about an hour away) and worked late enough that no buses would get me home. It was winter and his car was freezing but he wasn't wearing any gloves because he said he had the fans set on warmer air and it would warm up "any minute now". His hands were numb by the time we got to my place and the car was just turning into less of a fridge. Since then that delivery of "aaany minUTE now" has been our go to for when we think the other is being dumb and should just listen. Yes, I know you're sick of it, but that just makes it funnier to us.

5, what made you start your blog?

hubris? nah but my friends talked about it and it seemed fun, so I lurked for a bit and then decided I wanted in on it too

10, would you say you’re an emotional person? (FUCKING DUUHH?!)

HEY! that hurts my poor emotional feelings ;;_;;

but uh yeah, totally am. but I feel like I'm rarely UwU-soft emotional, more heart on sleeve and easily riled up-emotional rip lol

14, what’s something you’ve always wanted to do but maybe been to scared to do?

take up acting properly, but the older I get the less convinced I am that I have what it takes.. and also time commitment?

19, favourite thing about the day?

that's when I'm able to do the awake thing? also the eating thing.

22, say 3 things about someone you love

3 things I love about @jacquelinesrumbottle is how she is the most easily excitable person ever! she will hype anything and everyone she loves up to everyone she meets because did you know that her friends and fiance are the most talented, beautiful, amazing, generous people who ever walked the earth? also did you have a chance to read this breathtaking book or play that life changing game yet?

she is generous to a fault because spoiling people when she can brings her joy. but also we were supposed to send each other One Jar of Nutella, not a moving box filled with local sweets that took months to finish x'D

her imagination and sense of wonder is hard to find outside 3rd graders (affectionate), because everything really is possible! she carries a thousand stories in her cute little head at any given moment and also did you read the latest article on psychology or stray kids?

have I mentioned that I miss her?

36, are you an open book or do you have walls up?

both? if I care about people I don't have a lot of walls up around them, but that doesn't mean I'm necessarily the most forthcoming. I'll be dropping hints that I need to talk before I'll turn to someone outright and vent because heaven forbid that I bother someone with my small little life and its problems

37, share a secret

I have unread ao3 emails from 2017 (/o\)

if you think it's frustrating trying to get me to sit down and read or watch something you've recommended please know that in my inbox there are stories that I found myself, liked, subscribed to get updates when they posted new chapters, and then proceeded to Not read for 7 years? yeah, I hate myself a little a lot over it.

38, fave song at the moment?

who knows about fave, but this song has been playing on repeat in my brain for like a week so you can have that

39, youtuber you’ve been obsessed with and why?

there's been a few over the years but I love watching Bernadette Banner for myself cause it's fascinating watching people who know things and she has such a calming presence.

but also we've been watching Ants Canada together to watch his homemade rainforest and the Special Interst(TM) is off the charts but it's so fucking earnest and something I really enjoy about our sundays lol

[inukag]

“Do you also find it unfair when inu/kik shippers claim that Kagome is Inuyasha's second choice and he's only with her because he sees Kikyo in her even though that was explicitly disproven in the manga?” Preach.

I find it weird how Certain people always have something to say about inukag fans supposedly downplaying inukik (which I honestly rarely see, most people are really good about acknowledging her importance all the while loving Inukag, I mean yes some have their reservations for the way inukik is portrayed but to each their own) yet never say anything when it’s the opposite, especially coming from that fandom that degrades Kagome almost regularly.

THANK YOU anon I'm so glad someone is with me on this lol.

People in this fandom always bad-mouth Inukag shippers like we aren't one of the most wholesome fandom out there. 90% of my inukag mutuals here respect Kikyo and the few that do dislike her at least back up their arguments by stuff that actually happened in the manga.

Meanwhile Inu/kik shippers constantly call Kagome abusive (but have no problems with Inuyasha punching children), talk about how they want Kagome to suffer (I've seen many of them celebrate the fact that she didn't raise her daughter in HNY), and they literally nitpick everything that Kagome does to villainize her (I've seen some people call her heartless because she stood up Hojo on a date lmaoo). Inu/kik shippers have reblogged my KAGKIK posts to hate on Kagome. They've reblogged my Moroha gifset to hate on Kagome and claim that Kikyo should have been her mother (or alternatively they make facebook groups dedicated to hating Moroha because she "would have been prettier and smarter if Kikyo was her mother"). I've met maybe 2 or 3 inu/kik shippers in my 10 years in this fandom who liked Kagome and they really struggled to acknowledge Inuyasha's love for her. Usually they're the type of people who think Kagome and Kikyo are the same person so Inuyasha "ended with Kikyo through Kagome".

Most inukag shippers just vibe and talk about inukag and when someone comes into our inbox or our posts to talk about Kikyo or Inu/kik we're called "insecure" for defending our ship. But inu/kiks are not insecure when they spread misinformation and lies, like when they twist Rumiko's words or straight up invent interviews to make people believe that she was forced to make inukag endgame? Or when they edit translations to make Inuyasha say things he never said?

Also Inukag shippers who dislike Kikyo are called misogynistic for disliking one female character but inu/kik shippers who says that Kikyo is the only good & strong female character in the series are not? I've also seen people get really mad at the theory that Inuyasha met Kikyo because her soul would one day be Kagome's because it's "misogynistic to say that Kikyo died so Inuyasha can have a girlfriend" but they're not mad at people who say that Inuyasha is just using Kagome as a replacement for Kikyo???

Be serious lol anyone who thinks we're so much worse than them has their head stuck in the sand. I'm NOT saying we're perfect but I'm tired of people bad mouthing my people. Coming back to the inukag fandom in 2020 after spending some time in other fandoms was such a breath of fresh air because this fandom is really overwhelmingly wholesome compared to all the other fandoms I've seen lol.