#or just stopped picking up after them

[actual-corpse]

Why am I, the Woman, villanized?

I'm a full-time student, and I work 30 hours a week (that's 6 hours short of full-time), and yet, I can't sit and relax without someone huffing and puffing about something being dirty.

I'm not the one who fills the sink.

I'm not the one who fills the trash.

I'm not the one who leaves my dirty clothes all over the bathroom floor (and those clothes fucking stink... They smell worse than the literal boxes of cat shit that sit in the same room)

I'm not the one that hogs the clothes machines for DAYS at a time because I can't be arsed to move them.

There are two cats. One isn't mine, but I am the one caring for both cats full time. Emptying the boxes, buying and administering the flea meds, cleaning and filling water/food bowls.

I'm afraid to start a video game. 1. Because nobody can fucking respect that I'm trying to enjoy something and 2. Because when the dishes pile up in the sink, I'm the one stuck dealing with it.

There are fast food cups rotting in the bedroom because I am not cleaning up after a grown-ass man (they've been accumulating since we broke up (August))

There is shit accumulating on the table.

I will move out when the lease is up. And when I do, I hope these boys fucking suffer as they realize they ran off one of the most patient women they'll ever find.

[dilfmobius]

i took a break from suits because the only reason i was there in the first place was for how absolutely batshit insane harvey specter is when it comes to mike ross and once mike went to prison i kinda went okay i think the shows run its course for me byeeee

anyway i just started s6 and i'm happy to see harvey specter is still batshit insane for mike ross

[schneiderenjoyer]

I REALIZED SOMETHING AND I'M NOT OKAY

[beargregor]

Chef greg delivery just for you. it's a wonder I hadn't bearified him yet, he's my fave greg too 🔪

gays literally only want one thing (to be chopped up and eaten by a depressed man) and it's fucking disgusting

[medinaquirin]

The utter blind hypocrisy of people criticizing Dems for trying to court too far Right while gleefully upholding the Right's obsession with moral purity and making the "right" people suffer.

[faaun]

ive talked to a lot of ppl who have taken vyvanse now and i think ik a bit more on how i need to live on it

[numberonetribble]

Stuck at my mom's house until the 27th, can't finish the comic I was working on until then :( here's a rough Cowboy!pinup sketch of Bumblebee and some Breakbee + Piston angst:

[yourgamemasterthewhiterabbit]

Both my parents actually suffer from HORRID emotional dysregulation and are prone to snapping and going into rages. My sister is the same way tbh. I am now realizing this is why they are constantly baffled by the question of whether or not I am mad at them.

I don't have external meltdowns.

I could. I don't let it happen.

I keep my rage on the inside and stay pretty quiet about it. It's just as strong as theirs [physically shaking nose bleed from high blood pressure kind of bad], but like as a kid I saw how terrifying it was to be around [dad breaking dishes, mom putting our lawn chairs into walls] and I just internalized that I wasn't going to wear that anger on the outside.

So my mother genuinely cannot tell if I am just being quiet or if I am silently hearing the dial-up noises of pure rage. This has lead her to both making strong and confident statements like "You are a pacifist who would never hurt a fly U.U" but also acting like I am secretly dangerous maybe... It's because she has never seen me snap.

She knows what her temper is like [throwing chairs through walls], she knows what my father's temper is like [pick up child and toss out door], and she can tell I am being tested, but she doesn't know what happens when I snap or where that breaking point is.

Her -perhaps unhinged- solution to this, my whole life, has been to do things that should obviously enrage me or shut me down completely, like ignoring important boundaries, repeatedly, punishing me for expressing emotions or needs at all, etc... And then to constantly ask me if I am angry with her when I get too quiet [right after near directly telling me to shut up].

It has occurred to me now, they have never once seen me lose my temper, so they literally just can't tell if I am angry at them. My sister is easy, my mother fights and screams with my sister constantly, my mother understands this. My mother doesn't have any grasp of feelings or boundaries that are not screamed at her [apparently, and I fear my sister is the same way]. Her and my sister are close despite constant fucking fighting because they understand each other.

They are trying to get me to engage the same way and it is not working. I realize now that this has been hard for them.

I was so successfully taught to suppress my emotions, by being punished for any outburst, that rage quiet looks the same as any other kind of quiet from the outside. To them anyway.

I did tell her. For the record. I used my words. I did tell her very calmly that my response to rage, in order to avoid doing the things that terrified me as a child, was to simply leave [the autistic urge to GTFO]. When a situation or person causes too much of the dial-up rage noise, I simply extract myself from that situation, up to and including never speaking to a person again. I explained this calmly. I explained it calmly 100 times and I explained that I explain myself calmly as my rage response 1-5 [also pretty much every other negative emotion tbh], and I told her that what came next was me simply opting out and fucking off. I told her this. I couldn't understand why she never took me seriously, or why she never fucking understood.

I couldn't understand what made her like this.

But it's the same problem I have with everyone else multiplied by a factor of 10.

If I am explaining myself calmly, they can't understand that it's actually serious or that I am actually upset. ESPECIALLY because they read me as "female" and women "aren't that rational" so if I am not screaming and crying about something, which I never do, people assume I can't be upset and it isn't serious.

And then after having my boundaries ignored too many times despite having calmly explained how and why it's a problem [shaking inside or not]... I leave. I leave and everyone gets upset like this is unexpected behaviour, even though I told them 50 times that is how I would respond if they kept doing *the thing.*

And for neurotypical people especially, they are expecting there to be a disconnect between what someone says they need or feel and what their actually boundaries and feelings are, and they expect the latter to be demonstrated with emotions. Telling them bluntly you do not function that way somehow never helps?

My mother isn't just looking for normal yelling or a few tears to know I am serious, whether or not I do those either [I don't], she's looking for an explosion to know there's a problem at all.

Fucked if I know how she proceeds through life this way in general or if this is just her expectation of her own kids???

And I couldn't get why my mother couldn't read my emotions and didn't seem to think I have any. It's because she's testing for the rage limit to see where my 'actual' limit is instead of taking my word for it. Never the fuck mind that she could simply *not* test at my boundaries instead of letting me have them. Separate issue.

I couldn't figure out what made her *like this*

She's expecting me to throw a giant meltdown violent tantrum at people when I have 'actually' had enough. Maybe she got away with those being like 5'4" in another time, but I am the size of the average man, I do not get to have giant screaming rages, whether or not people perceive me consciously as a woman, and least of all because a lot of people -at least unconsciously- read me as 'masculine' or at least always "they guy" of the situation compared to all other women and some men [bigger stronger and more rational, more able to just absorb the damage and let it go so the less rational screaming/crying one doesn't have to be dealt with]. Even if it was in me to be willing to terrify people [usually never], there are such limited instances where it wouldn't just blow back on me. Potentially very dangerously.

I am going to be the quiet calm one. You are going to have to let me use my words, bitch.

So she kept ignoring my boundaries until I had to cut her out of my life, and she probably doesn't understand and probably thinks it feels sudden -after 36 long years of bullshit- abrupt and unfair.

But I told her hundreds of times.

I probably should have just screamed at her.

[sysig]

Does this hurt? (Patreon)

Bonus:

I love surfacetable.txt <3

[dukeofthomas]

why is everyone so obsessed with absolving bruce of all responsibility and fault. like no actually he is not 100% innocent in the child vigilantes he did in fact literally just Yoink Jason and make him robin at the ripe age of 12. jason would Not have become a vigilante (or died!) if bruce hadn't made him that. like he is actually 100% responsible for picking up a kid and turning them into a soldier

[bacchuschucklefuck]

holding onto nsbu with both hands you are my saviour my everything. why is izzy doing the Most

[hatkuu]

KYLAR USED TO PLAY THE VIOLIN ‼️‼️‼️ i wanna encourage him to pick up his old hobby :3 i want him to play me a song :D

the way i sobbed with joy when i saw madison's post. so smart of them to ask vrel that ofmfmfmfkl

like. i bet he was really good when he was younger too!! his parents probably bought him a tonne of music lessons when he was younger, so he'd have the foundations to be a really good player... but he most likely lost interest in the violin entirely after his parent's transformation.

i think if you were to subtly bring up that you LOVE a man that can play music he's picking back up soooo quick. would play any song you'd like but you have to promise to kiss the tips of his fingers better bc they have blisters now :(

i also think it'd be healthy for kylar!! (YAY) and it'd give him something to do rather than stalk you!! now he plays an instrument!! albeit for you but it's really nice to listen to soooo... you choose to ignore that he picked up his old hobby just to impress you <3

[quietwingsinthesky]

sorry losing my mind thinking of millie in the context of lucifer’s other vessels it goes like

Nick: my wife that’s my wife that’s my wife that’s my wife and my god and everything that matters to me

Sam: Soulmates (It couldn’t have gone worse.)

Millie: My terrible roommate who just got out of a bad situation and won’t do his dishes 👍

[crybabydraws]

Big Tenna lore drop just happened recently. I just had to draw this moment. It was too good.

Tenna belongs to @tvlandofficial (go follow them if you haven't they're fucking cool)

[longagoitwastuesday]

I have learnt things about Geto that I wish I could unlearn

[ruby-static]

"Anyways, this here is where I was buried!" "...Remind me again why I keep agreeing to follow you?"