#or it will age great!

[cupidsintern]

Idk if anyone else is on the Welcome Home grind rn but tbh I don’t think Wally did anything wrong. Like I get the vibe that he’s just having a category five puppet moment and I’m ready to forgive him for whatever yk

[narwhalsarefalling]

my (cis) brother is using my old license to buy wine and it has the gender marker F on there. so whenever he gets asked he just says “oh i’m trans”. its literally worked every single time.

[housederiva]

Gaby Soto is a gift

Edit: I missed one!

[bye2k]

[rosquinn]

"mutuals can ask for discord" mutuals can haunt me after they die. mutuals can paint my immortal youth in a cursed portrait. mutuals can build a 8ft tall creature in my college dorm. mutuals can watch me wake up as a monstrous vermin. mutuals can feed me soup after i commit murder. mutuals can help me kill uncle claudius. mutuals can go out with me and my girlfriend from across the bay. mutuals can hunt the beast with me. do better

[giantkillerjack]

Today my therapist introduced me to a concept surrounding disability that she called "hLep".

[plain-text version of this post can be found under the cut]

Which is when you - in this case, you are a disabled person - ask someone for help ("I can't drink almond milk so can you get me some whole milk?", or "Please call Donna and ask her to pick up the car for me."), and they say yes, and then they do something that is not what you asked for but is what they think you should have asked for ("I know you said you wanted whole, but I got you skim milk because it's better for you!", "I didn't want to ruin Donna's day by asking her that, so I spent your money on an expensive towing service!") And then if you get annoyed at them for ignoring what you actually asked for - and often it has already happened repeatedly - they get angry because they "were just helping you! You should be grateful!!"

And my therapist pointed out that this is not "help", it's "hLep".

Sure, it looks like help; it kind of sounds like help too; and if it was adjusted just a little bit, it could be help. But it's not help. It's hLep.

At its best, it is patronizing and makes a person feel unvalued and un-listened-to. Always, it reinforces the false idea that disabled people can't be trusted with our own care. And at its worst, it results in disabled people losing our freedom and control over our lives, and also being unable to actually access what we need to survive.

So please, when a disabled person asks you for help on something, don't be a hLeper, be a helper! In other words: they know better than you what they need, and the best way you can honor the trust they've put in you is to believe that!

Also, I want to be very clear that the "getting angry at a disabled person's attempts to point out harmful behavior" part of this makes the whole thing WAY worse. Like it'd be one thing if my roommate bought me some passive-aggressive skim milk, but then they heard what I had to say, and they apologized and did better in the future - our relationship could bounce back from that. But it is very much another thing to have a crying shouting match with someone who is furious at you for saying something they did was ableist. Like, Christ, Jessica, remind me to never ask for your support ever again! You make me feel like if I asked you to call 911, you'd order a pizza because you know I'll feel better once I eat something!!

Edit: crediting my therapist by name with her permission - this term was coined by Nahime Aguirre Mtanous!

Edit again: I made an optional follow-up to this post after seeing the responses. Might help somebody. CW for me frankly talking about how dangerous hLep really is.

Plain-text version:

Today my therapist introduced me to a concept surrounding disability that she called "hLep".

Which is when you - in this case, you are a disabled person - ask someone for help ("I can't drink almond milk so can you get me some whole milk?", or "Please call Donna and ask her to pick up the car for me."), and they say yes, and then they do something that is not what you asked for but is what they think you should have asked for ("I know you said you wanted whole, but I got you skim milk because it's better for you!", "I didn't want to ruin Donna's day by asking her that, so I spent your money on an expensive towing service!") And then if you get annoyed at them for ignoring what you actually asked for - and often it has already happened repeatedly - they get angry because they "were just helping you! You should be grateful!!"

And my therapist pointed out that this is not "help", it's "hLep".

Sure, it looks like help; it kind of sounds like help too; and if it was adjusted just a little bit, it could be help. But it's not help. It's hLep.

At its best, it is patronizing and makes a person feel unvalued and un-listened-to. Always, it reinforces the false idea that disabled people can't be trusted with our own care. And at its worst, it results in disabled people losing our freedom and control over our lives, and also being unable to actually access what we need to survive.

So please, when a disabled person asks you for help on something, don't be a hLeper, be a helper! In other words: they know better than you what they need, and the best way you can honor the trust they've put in you is to believe that!

P.S. Also, I want to be very clear that the "getting angry at a disabled person's attempts to point out harmful behavior" part of this makes the whole thing WAY worse. Like it'd be one thing if my roommate bought me some passive-aggressive skim milk, but then they heard what I had to say, and they apologized and did better in the future - our relationship could bounce back from that. But it is very much another thing to have a crying shouting match with someone who is furious at you for saying something they did was ableist. Like, Christ, Jessica, remind me to never ask for your support ever again! You make me feel like if I asked you to call 911, you'd order a pizza because you know I'll feel better once I eat something!!

Edit: crediting my therapist by name with her permission - this term was coined by Nahime Aguirre Mtanous!

Edit again: I made an optional follow-up to this post after seeing the responses. Might help somebody. CW for me frankly talking about how dangerous hLep really is.

[soupwife]

now its time to bring the haterism

if you think multiple are bad vote for the one you hate the most <3

[marsarchy]

It is Wednesday my dudes

[beetleandfox]

I love how unsanitized The Terror feels. Like there’s grime everywhere. You can tell those men smell bad. When they do surgery you can hear the bone being cut, when they get sick they look genuinely ill. The main character’s actor even has pockmarks, he LOOKS like he could be from the 1800s! And idk, I think it’s cool that we’re so aware of the characters’ carnal desires. They’re hungry, thirsty, freezing, etc, and it is so obvious that they have a body with needs!!

I think this also accounts for how horny the show feels, even though everyone is bundled up 90% of the time and there are no real romantic subplots. Besides the fact that it’s a very carnal show, it just has the intimacy and grime of true horniness. Is this thing on

[dorianpavus]

the fandom when da2 came out: oh my god this is NOTHING like origins, i hate this game

the fandom years later: I LOVE THIS GAME

the fandom when inquisition came out: oh my god this is NOTHING like origins or 2, i hate this game

the fandom years later: I LOVE THIS GAME

the fandom when the trailer for veilguard drops: oh my god this is NOTHING -

me:

[vulpixelates]

i know it will never happen but i so desperately desire an origins-type playable backstory thing in all games but especially veilguard. i feel like it added so much depth to origins and made you feel instantly connected to your character in a way that gets lost in games like inquisition where you fill in the blanks as you go except for the bare basics. like, i do enjoy the freedom to willy nilly decide where a character was before the events of the story from a creative perspective, but the playable origins were just so good! especially when you go back to where your warden is from and can engage differently with the arcs there

[mythalism]

solas: uwuuu you disrupted my ritual and trapped me!!! now im stuck here and it’s all your fault wahhh poor little old me stuck in the fade in a prison that i designed myself within my realm that i created where im supremely powerful and can “casually reshape reality” with a thought and i have an anchor that lets me open rifts physically in and out of here BUT NOW IM TRAPPED!!!!! 🥺🥺😣😣😰😰

meanwhile solas:

[chaoskilled-dinosaurs-darling]

if a show is trying to be historically accurate then it better have employed the best historians and researchers and have everything fact checked….

on the other hand, if they are throwing historical accuracy to the wind and saying ‘fuck it, the Tudor princess is going to say ‘Slay Queen’ and they’re all going to do the cha cha slide’ then i am on board

[0booboozefool0]

This might be the most self indulgent thing I’ve ever drawn

[emacrow]

Alfred's day off came as he went for a visit that cause suspicious in the batfam.

Alfred was looking rather energetic and enthusiastic as he was fixing himself up in the mirror, cleaning any lint and dust on his casual clothes.

The batfam has been noticing he is getting more excited that he even made everyone's favorite lunch in record time as today was one of alfred rarest day off.

Tim on the other hand is thinking that alfred might be dating someone, because he saw alfred bring light blue letters that had a soft jasmine smell.

Bruce believes Tim finally lost his marble because when does alfred had the time to date around.?

Until Dick mentioned that even old people get lonely and tend to matchmake in the form of letters like the good old days..

Which right now the batfam and Bruce leading them are currently spying on Alfred far enough where they think he wouldn't noticed them stalk- observating him.

Alfred was picking up a couple of presents, one that had plants, another had old Techno theme, one with birds, a fire theme one and a space theme present that he loaded his car with along with a stuffie bear.

Steph thinks that he could be visiting relatives at that point..?

While Bruce was remaining quiet with a calculating glint in his eyes.

They follow alfred all the ways to the one of the barely remaining clean parks, where a another young man sat with a orange hair little girl in a light greenish blue dress, a sleeping baby girl in a bassinet on a picnic blanket with a purple clock theme pattern, as he watches 4 toddlers playing and squealing around a oddly colored puppy.

Two toddlers look like a bait-adoptable bait even if both has stripes of white in their hair and one had red eyes, one toddler had blonde hair with the tips being black with purple eyes and a lightest greenish skin tone, and the remaining toddler was Egyptian African American looking with how he playing with a odd toy phone that look Egyptian theme before being dragged along to play by the green dog snatching his toy phone.

Alfred brought the presents along sitting down with the now seemingly much older man..

Jason seemed to noticed that nobody else is noticing that that guy holding the clock like staff is literally shifting from young, to adolescent, to young adult, and elderly man beside himself when he voiced his concerns.

They weren't close enough to hear what the two were saying, but the little girl with the orange hair was speaking mostly before looking up with tearful green teal eyes at alfred who went to comfort the girl.

[ltwilliammowett]

Scrimshawed nautilus shell, depicts the Great Britain and the Great Western aswell as a coat of arms, by C. A. Wood, mid 19th century