#or if only online friends are accessible to you at this point— that’s okay too

[soscout]

nvm i’m good now. watch this video

(full disclosure, captions are unfortunately only-automatic at the moment of posting. they are pretty accurately generated! but i do wish there were fully formatted embedded captions so they weren’t so flashy. this video was released barely 24hrs ago so maybe there will be proper captions added at another time.)

[ryuichirou]

Replies

Slowly but surely replying to older asks. I say it every time but I mean it: thank you for being patient.

One ask about Shroudcest and one ask about Rookvil today!

Anonymous asked:

Imagine imagine imagine.

Cause this is funny to me.

Someone's flirting with Idia, yeah? (or just talking to him, not even flirting) (well, I guess it'd be a one sided conversation....)

And Ortho was off doing whatever and he comes back and he notices-

And he gets all angry and whatnot-

And Ortho's got instant connections to the internet-

And he figures out who the person is and basically destroys their social life.

Like, in the middle of this conversation, this person checks their phone and finds out all their friends have ditched them and their entire online life is up in flames.

Simply because Ortho got a little jealous.

Anon, this is so unbelievably easy to imagine lol Despite Ortho really wanting his precious Idia to have more friends and connections, he is much more jealous than he thought! And much more of a little shit than people think… We really love this kind of scenario for them, to be honest.

Ortho is way too powerful for how emotionally unstable he is! Rogue little yandere robot :( His niisan is his and his only! That poor guy probably just wanted to talk about homework or something trivial like that…

Anonymous asked:

the rook hate be crazy, sorry for the nonsense you’ve been dealing with for doing nothing wrong. anyway rookvil appreciation hours. rook is so observant and reverent that he’s always looking out for his queen and vil is just a bit tsun lol but i love how vulnerable vil is with rook. like the lines implying vil has cried in front of rook before, that they sleep in the same bed, rook knows vil’s family situation, vil commenting on rook’s thighs in beanfest implicitly meaning he spends a lot of time looking at them lol, rook has access to vil’s room and waits for vil… as much as i love savanaclaw rook and mourn his loss everyday, he willingly changed himself to be worthy of being by vil’s side via his own free will; vil did not MAKE him do anything they just talked a lot. my mans is more whipped than heavy cream. idk about you but rook mentions he struggled to feel or express emotions before he knew about theater (specifically neige but let’s ignore that for vil’s sanity lol) so it feels significant that rook obviously feels and emotes so strongly over vil (also something something ortho struggles to feel or express himself before movies and acting so what i’m getting at here is they should spitroast vil at least once lmao.) if it was revealed they’re canonically dating the only part i’d be surprised about is that it got through disney’s censors.

It’s okay, Anon. The whole thing kind of made us appreciate Rook and RookVil more, to be honest lol I sketched them for a couple of days nonstop after that whole thing happened.

It also made you write this ask! It took me some time to reply, but every time I was rereading it I smiled because god this is such a good ship. Everything that you’ve listed is just so… wonderful. All those interactions, all this connection, all those moments that imply their closeness that is on a much deeper level than we get to see. Sometimes when these two talk, it feels like we’re eavesdropping lol they just have this vibe to them, as if every dialogue has some additional context that we don’t quite get.

Vil’s comment about Rook’s thighs and him bulking up though lol poor Epel didn’t know what to make of it and probably didn’t want to think about it…

You’ve made such a good point about Vil being more vulnerable with Rook, and I think this vulnerability is very important. Vil feels like someone who probably doesn’t usually allow people to get very close to him, but once he lowers his guard for someone, that person becomes very special to him. Or I guess it’s the other way around… anyways, he trusts Rook enough to always have him by his side, and he probably vents his frustrations with the industry and anything else that troubles him to Rook the most.

And this trust isn’t one-sided: I feel like Rook trusts Vil a lot too. We know that he has a lot of secrets, and even Vil probably doesn’t know a whole lot about his upbringing and stuff, but he certainly knows more than other people + listens carefully enough to understand implications without prying into it too much. They give each other enough space in general, I guess? I know it sounds funny considering Rook’s whole stalking thing but lol their connection is special. They learn from each other and from what they have together.

It makes sense that one person that Vil trusts so much and loves so much is a weird theater nerd who doesn’t quite understand tact, but is very honest, supportive and genuinely passionate and loving. It makes sense that one person that Rook trusts so much and loves so much is an obsessive perfectionist that takes care of him, enables him and inspires him every day. Both of them are kind of insufferable, but they are the perfect type of “insufferable” to each other lol And yeah, let’s not forget about the power of knowing all the obscure theater/film references the other one makes!

I also absolutely agree that it wouldn’t be surprising at all if it was confirmed that they are dating lol The only surprising thing really would be the fact that Disney allowed it.

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

so this happened a while ago but i still feel quite a bit of guilt over it and i’m honestly wondering whether i was in the wrong or not. i’m almost 18M now but i was 15M at the time (almost 3 years ago).

at the time of the pandemic i (15M) got very bored in quarantine and ended up making online friends with P (17NB) and later G (18NB) after P introduced me to G after the two had talked for a considerable amount of time.

the three of us were very close for a long time (this was the first friend group i’d had that referred to me as he/him, additionally as i had very little experience with online friends before now, and because P and G were both also trans like me it felt more comfortable).

P and G began dating after a while and met up once or twice, but as i live further away from them it was more difficult (additionally my mother was very restrictive on having online friends, so this was kept from her).

i had a very big puppy crush on both of them at this point but kept it to myself. however i did feel confused for a bit as although they were dating, P and G would tease me a little bit, calling me ‘good boy’ and sending me screenshots of them teasing each other ab their kinks then calling me a voyeur, stuff like that— in a teasing way, not in a genuinely flirting way but it made the crush a lot more intense for me.

P and G dated for almost a year but towards the end things started going wrong (at the end of the relationship, P started talking about how he didn’t feel attracted to G anymore because G wasn’t a cis man and didn’t have male genitalia. which came off as a little weird to me as both of them were transmasc?) but they agreed to part ways

they broke up soon after and i kept in contact with both of them seperately (probably not the best decision as P would constantly talk shit about G in a group chat even months after they broke up which i didn’t like). but P ended up suddenly talking to me and saying that i was talking too much to G, then giving me an ultimatum of either i stop talking to G or they wouldn’t talk to me anymore for their own mental health

this also happened on new years which just put me in the worst headspace i’ve been in ever. i ended up saying no, blocking P and telling G about it (even though G was a little disappointed that i’d been given that ultimatum in the first place and we just ended up not hearing back for a long while

the only reason something started up again was that later, a mutual friend of ours mentioned they had seen P post some concerning things on his story on instagram (about cutting off toxic people, more stuff about G, but also suicidal ideation kinda stuff on his close friends) and i realised i still had access to his vent account (which didn’t have a lot on there but enough that it would probably make the average person worry a bit).

G was worried about P even though they’d broken up and asked me to send him some screenshots of the vent acc’s newer posts so he could relay them to his family and hopefully get some help. i sent maybe three or four posts over and G sent the posts to his mom who then had a conversation with P. i then got a lot of messages from P calling me a horrible person and saying i was wrong, which i was really confused and stressed over because i genuinely thought i was doing the right thing and some of the things P posted were scaring me a lot. P’s two friends also messaged me later as well, calling me vile and saying i was horrible for doing what i did

i ended up apologising to P later because the guilt was eating me alive and i couldn’t take it anymore, and we ended up civil as the only thing we’d really talk about from that point was writing ideas for their blog, but then they decided to send me a random ‘congrats, you ruined my life’ emoji meme which made me really confused because i thought we were okay again. we haven’t talked for ages now but idk. the guilt gets to me sometimes and i think maybe i might’ve been horrible without realising because i genuinely wanted to help……. basically aita for sending the screenshots to G?

What are these acronyms?

[notyouraryang0dd3ss]

hi, indian anon here ( I think I used the ⏳️) ig you can say I'm an ex swiftie, but in the sense that I was never exposed to western music until evermore and I listened to it and loved it. I never engaged with the fandom or anything, and didn't even know all these things taylor did, and I thought taylor was a decent person because of the documentary. This was until ofc, the matty healy incident which opened my eyes to her behavior, but idky I felt like I couldn't openly dislike her. Everyone in my school was obsessed with her and if you're a girl, and you hated her, or even disliked her, you were a pick me, and I didn't wanna get hated on more by my classmates (long story there). The last straw for me was prolly when 1989 tv was released (after the mh incident I just called myself a swiftie cuz I liked her earlier work) and I had joined an online swiftie group chat, and the people there were so vile and hateful. I remember saying it's wrong hating on harry styles for cheating on her cuz she did the same, or that Joe alwyn is just a regular dude, and so are all her other exes, except prolly matty and the John Mayor guy for dating a 19 y/o (SHE ALSO DATED MINORS THO??? no one talked about this shit) and I mentioned that she's not god and that she has done bad things, and the gc, which had 50 active members everyday, collectively not only hated on me, but also these people had access to my private insta acc. My face, my friends, my address, they knew it all. It was so scary, and while I have been in plenty of toxic fandoms before (my first death threats were by the hp fandom, which I've left long back), I actually felt threatened. It actually felt like a cult, and it was scary until my insta acc got shut down (idky), and the ppl couldn't find me anymore. The swiftie fandom is weird at best, and potential criminals at worst, because wtf. They don't have any sort of individual thinking, and if someone does, they will find a way to shut it down. Even now, when I interact with a swiftie and taylor Swift comes up, and I say I don't like her, their behavior is just like the ones online. Ik ppl get more confidence to do bad things online cuz of anonymity, but swifties are the same irl, too. They completely believe it is okay to treat ppl terribly, harass and spread disgusting rumors and even doxx a Palestinian woman and give her details to Isreali organization. Like that actually happened. I regret that I didn't leave the fandom sooner because I can't believe I was associated with something like this. Ik celebrities make mistakes, and that fandoms always have one toxic portion, but this is too much.

Sorry for the long rant tho 😅

- ⏳️

sorry it took me a while to respond, there is SO MUCH HAPPENING in this ask. like 3 diff asks rolled into one omfg

1. peer pressured into “continuing” to like taylor swift you are a different kind of victim im so sorry you went through that (and all to prevent you from being bullied…im so sorry)

2. THE SWIFTIE GROUPCHAT: that is horrible and TERRIFYING. all you did was practice critical thinking and you feared for your SAFETY. their reactions are not logical nor rational and speak to how dangerous her fanbase is.

if you feel like you cannot call out your fave for their behavior without your safety being threatened, that is not a fanbase, that is a cult. i think we should actually did a venn diagram of swifties and cults we’d have a perfect circle.

3. SWIFTIES IRL: this is so true about how they behave. ive had friends tell me theyre scared of saying they hate taylor IRL cause of the backlash they’d receive. THAT IS NOT NORMAL. even when BTS was at their peak ppl never felt threatened by the ARMY to that point 😭

you NEED to send more info/links/ss about the doxxed palestinian. i need the #SwiftiesforPalestine to see wtf their mutuals are doing. that is ABHORRENT behavior. that poor woman!

thank you sm for this ask, u are truly one of god’s strongest soldiers cause wtf!!!! is wrong!!!! with swifties!!!!!

(p.s. if you are a repeat anon go ahead and sign off your asks with an emoji so i can keep track! thank you!)

[volkswagonblues]

what if we do an IWTV role reversal but Armand is the human boy "interviewing" Daniel the ancient vampire??

....with always-a-human!Armand and 514-year-old vampire Daniel? And Armand is a depressed underpaid zillenial artist working at a fuckass theatre troupe, and then the vampire Daniel hires him to work on a mysterious painting? So it's like, instead of an interview with the vampire Armand ends up doing ~Painting of a Vampire~? And also human Rashid is Armand's roommate and is genuinely too cool for his bullshit??

under the cut

HUMAN ARMAND MEETS VAMPIRE DANIEL AU

Armand is only at the pub because the rest of the troupe is at the pub, and the way things are going with Santiago, he can’t risk pissing anyone else or worse, getting accused of not “being a team player.” Never mind that everyone else has forgotten about him at this point. He sees Sam, Celeste and Estelle in the corner playing pool. Quan Pham is chatting up some poor woman clearly dying to get away and get back to her friends. Santiago, the artistic director, is nowhere to be seen, which feels more ominous than anything else. Lately he’s developed a habit of lurking over Armand’s shoulder while he’s sitting at his iMac, pointing at things in After Effects and making comments like “Are you sure it’s scaled correctly?” or “Why’d you name that layer that way?”. Armand sometimes has fantasies of shutting him in a box and throwing away the key forever.

He’s wondering when would be an acceptable time to leave when someone slides onto the bar stool next to him. An older man. He’s white, with a head of corkscrew grey curls and a battered leather jacket. Although they’re indoors and it’s nighttime, he’s wearing a pair of tinted sunglasses. Ambiguous “creative type” hyphenate rich dillettante wanker, Armand thinks. Maybe a show exec, or an actor who’s found niche success in an extremely online fandom. Or he could just be rich. Armand’s only been in the UK for four years and he’s already encountered, by his rough estimate, about ten million versions of these men.

The man smiles. “Hi there,” he says in an American accent.

Armand nods. “Hello.”

The silence stretches on between them. The man’s eyes flicker behind his sunglasses, examining Armand like a bug under a magnifying glass. Armand, discomfitted, drops his eyes. Are those acrylic nails?

“Daniel,” the man says, finally. “Nice to meet you.”

“I’m Armand.”

“I know.”

Armand frowns. “Have we met before?”

Daniel leans back. Makes a noncommital sound. He says, “I follow your work online, you have a great eye for portraiture. It’s bold. Experimental, but not so abstract you’ve disappeared up your own asshole. If you ever put on a gallery show, I would have liked to see your brushwork up close. How come you don’t do any shows?”

“Uh,” Armand says. “Well, uh, working with galleries takes a lot of time. Mostly I take digital commissions. And painting isn’t my actual job. I work with—”

“Yes, yes.” Daniel waves his drink’s paper straw in the air. He holds it between index and middle finger: the gesture of an inveterate smoker.“You used to be a background animator for le Théâtre des Vampires.” He pronounces it with an American’s exaggerated accent. “How is that going for you?”

“Fine,” Armand says stiffly.

“The vampire’s theatre,” Daniel says, “Fun name.”

“It’s an ironic reference to the bloodsucking aristocracy. The whole point is that we’re trying to make theatre more accessible to the public, which is why we also do youth workshops to introduce lower-income children to the arts—”

“Yeah, yeah,” Daniel says. “I Googled you guys already.”

“Okay.”

“And while I was doing my research, a little birdie told me that they fired you.”

Armand feels his shoulder tense up. He tugs his sleeves over his hands, rubbing the fabirc between his fingers. “I have a contract with them that ended after August, yes. They are still deciding if they will renew it.”

This is true. He wrapped up his last day after their final show for the Edinburgh International Festival. Two grueling weeks at the Lyceum, their biggest gig to date and the last stop before they finish the summer festival circuit. Santiago had emailed him to say they’ll have an update about his contract once everyone comes back from their well-earned break. Armand can’t tell if this is good or bad news. Surely if Santiago wants him gone, he would have just gone ahead and said it?

Daniel leans in. “Shit luck, but I’m not here to discuss employment precarity in the underfunded and overcrowded arts industry,” he says. “I’m here because I have a job for you.”

“Are you a friend of Santiago’s?” Armand asks.

“Who? Nevermind. I want to commission you to paint a portrait for an acquaintance of mine. Big canvas. Oil paints. Really classic stuff. You’ll be painting a family portrait of my acquaintance. Him, his partner, and their daughter who passed away. Reunite the happy family for me. I’ll pay you an amount that’ll have you biting through your paintbrush. A few terms and conditions, of course, but I think you’ll find it an interesting endeavor.”

Armand knows that he is not the most savvy of people when it comes to business. He’s not good with money. Doesn’t have the capacity to read people and figure out what’s their angle. Trusts too much and thinks too little. Whatever scam Daniel is running, he can’t tell. But his brain is giving him warning bells anyway.

“I don’t do this kind of work,” he says. “I suggest you try Etsy.”

Daniel laughs, white teeth flashing in the pub’s low light. “Still such a smartass. Your English is much better though.”

Armand rubs his temple with his fingertips. There’s an insistent pressure behind his eyes, a tightening around his skull like the beginning of a migraine.

“Why not consider it?” Daniel says. “You have the free time.”

Armand darts a glance up at Daniel’s face. He knows (how does he know this?) with cold glacial certainty that if Daniel were to remove the sunglasses, the eyes behind them would be gold and orange. The colour palette of a nuclear explosion.

“Very poetic,” Daniel says.

Armand blinks away the bolt of pain that stabs through his left temple. “Do we know each other?”

Tap, tap,goes the weirdly pointy nails on the beermat. “Does anyone truly know anyone? Daniel says, sing-song. “So, are you interested? I’ll repeat myself: you’ll be very well-paid for you time.”

The pub is too warm from the press of too many bodies crammed together. Someone is setting up their guitar in the corner for live music night. They tap the mic and the soundsystem lets out a screeching wave of feedback. Is there feedback? The noise feels like it’s in Armand head. Too many people are talking right now in this pub.

Daniel’s nuclear explosion eyes are still fixed on Armand.

Armand feels cold. Early spring mist on his skin; the roar of traffic. A splinter in his left palm that itches. Excuse-moi, sais-tu où se trouve le gare? And Armand turns, and his grip loosens on the railing, and—and then—and then he—

Daniel slides off the bar stool. Such a smooth, youthful gesture. Not quite right for a man with his deep crow’s feet and silver hair. “I’ll send you the details by email. I assume the one on your website is still good? Yes? Make sure to sign all the paperwork my assistant sends over, it’s part of the whole deal.” He reaches into his leather jacket—fishes around the packet of cigarettes he always keeps in the left-hand pocket (cigarettes? how does Armand know this?)—and he pulls a piece of folded paper. “Call if you have questions. Bonne soirée, Armand.”

When Armand unfolds the paper, a business card slips out. No job title or company name. It reads, simply, Daniel Molloy with a phone number embossed in tiny gold numbers.

The piece of paper is something torn out of a schoolboy’s exercise book. Someone had left a sketch in pencil: Daniel’s face rendered in chiaroscuro. No sunglasses on his face. He’s looking off to the side, a nascent smile tugging up the corners of his mouth. Not the ironic and mocking smile he wore tonight, but something softer, genuinely unguarded amusement. The shading is wobbly but the lines are confident and well-formed.

In the corner the artist has left his signature. Amadeo. le 4 mars 2012

Armand looks up. “When did I—” he begins, but the chair next to him is already empty.

**

No Name <dm@sanguineinc.com>

01 September 2023 at 12:01

To: Armand Breteau <admin@abreteauart.com>

To Mr. A. Breteau,

I hope this email finds you well, or as well as any email can find anyone. I’ve been following your artistic career with some interest over the past years. If you have the time and capacity, I wish to engage your services and commission one (1) painting to be completed. The subject matter is very dear to me.

This is no ordinary project. I value, above all else, privacy and discretion.

My assistant will shortly send over a contract and a non-disclosure agreement. I will highlight a few key stipulations in the contract: first, you must complete the painting at a location of my choosing.

Second, all materials related to the painting must stay on the premises. You may not take home any sketches or references. You may not recreate any part of the painting in private.

Third, and most important, you will not meet the subjects of the painting. I will supply you everything you need to portray them in the most perfect of detail.

Yours,

D.M.

PS. If this all sounds like a crock of horseshit to you, then tough luck! Take a close look at the amount of pounds sterling I’m putting on the table. And no, I didn’t accidentally add an extra zero. It’s all above board and legally watertight. Show it to your lawyer roomie if you want.

Think about it, and then let me know if it still smells like shit or roses.

The arrogance of the email rubs Armand the wrong way, but then he clicks open the PDF attachment and nearly drops the iPad. It’s a lot of money. Not quite a ludicrous amount, but not far off. A truly life-changing amount of money. Enough money that he could stop worrying about rent for the next ten years. Enough money to soften the anxiety around his contract with the Théâtre des Vampires expiring in February and not knowing if they’ll want him around for another year.

**

Armand Breteau<admin@abreteauart.com>

01 September 2023 at 02:29

To: No Name <dm@sanguineinc.com>

Ok. when do i start? can you tell me more details about the subject of the painting?

thanks,

Armand

He hears the notification sound almost immediately after he hits send.

No Name <dm@sanguineinc.com>

01 September 2023 at 02:30

To: Armand Breteau <hello@abreteauart.com>

Tomorrow.

**

The next afternoon, there’s a car waiting for him outside on the street where he lives.

“Mate, don’t get me wrong, I’m not judging you for your life choices, but are you sure this isn’t like, a serial killer posing as a millionaire art appreciator?” Rashid gets up from watching the football match replay to peer out from between the curtains.

“He contacted me on my website’s public email,” Armand says, a defense that sounds pathetic when spoken out loud. “And you said to me that the contract looks alright.”

Rashid shrugs. “I also told you I don’t deal with contract law.”

“Do you think it’s a bad idea?”

“Depends,” Rashid says. “Is he going to pay you the money before or after he traps you in a pit and skins you make a suit?” There’s a tinny roar from the TV. “Oh shit, Arsenal just scored.”

Armand fidgets with the duffle bag holding his sketchpad and paintbrushes. “Should I not go?”

“No, you should. Go get that bread, or whatever it is kids say these days. Get that baguette, mon ami.”

“Will you call the police if I don’t text you at midnight? I’ll share my location with you.”

“Sure.” Rashid’s attention is entirely absorbed by Sky Sports instant replay.

“Really?”

“Yeah, yeah, I’ll send the cops after you if you text me he’s feeding you into his gay boy meat grinder.”

“Okay.”

“Look, Armand,” Rashid says. “I think you’ll be fine.”

“How do you know?”

“He’s driving a Tesla, mate. No serial killer would be driving a car with a built-in tracking system. If it’s a mid-aughts unmarked transit van I’d be worried, but a Tesla? Nah.”

“Okay.”

“Just remember to ask for the money on the nightstand before you take your clothes off. Use your big puppy eyes if you have to.”

Armand can’t tell if Rashid is serious or not. They’ve been flatmates for three years now, and he can’t tell if Rashid genuinely likes him or not. He often wonders if Rashid is making fun of him most of the time, but keeps him around anyways because if he likes having a flatmate who voluntarily does all the cleaning and whose work has even worse hours than Big Law. But he’s a good guy, Rashid. He would probably alert the authorities if Armand goes missing. At least, Armand hopes he will. He takes his time lacing up his sneakers.

“See you,” Armand says, finally.

Rashid grunts, but only because one of the Man United players got another yellow card. Armand shoulders his bag and slips out.

[ciminarin]

wfh job means wfa (working from anywhere), the best for a girlblogger thought daughter like me.

as someone who works remotely, i love how i can be literally everywhere as long as i have my devices and can deliver my work on time. i have went on holidays multiple times while still working and it's the best thing ever lol. the work-life balance is definitely balancing. this post will be about my experience, pros and cons!

now playing... ▶︎ ၊၊||၊|။||||| 2:58 | NEMONEMO by YENA

ᯓ★ let's talk about the pros!!

i can take breaks at any time i want, have my breakfast or lunch at any time without anyone micromanaging me. the next best thing is i can just be myself without worrying how other people perceive me at work. no worrying if i looked bad or if the way i sit, stand or walk is not 'ladylike' i can do wtv tf i want.

i can take naps. like LONG naps. it's heavenly.

i don't have to get ready to work. i literally wake up and go on my laptop. i can do anything before i start too, like playing with my cats, exercise, and never be late for work. how can i be late? i only need to log in on gathertown (a site/app where you can be in the office with your co-workers, in pixel game style) when my work hour start. lol

i'm literally at a cafe rn as i'm typing this. like i said, you can be anywhere as long as you have the money haha

can watch kdramas, movies or horror podcast during work. awesome.

more time to take care of yourself. i have been trying to get back to my self care era after my mental health deteriorated so bad because of my last job. when i say bad, i mean like REAL bad. my self esteem is just gone. i keep trying to find my old self again but i keep getting more and more anxious. by getting into wfh job, i can focus on this side of me more and hopefully be able to feel like myself again.

ᯓ★ now the cons.

it can get boring sometimes because you're stuck at home. i get too lazy to even get ready and go out even though i know i can be anywhere. the library suddenly feels so far away, resulting me to just stay home. this can go on for days.

yeah more time for self care.. but also more time to be lazy. because it's a desk job i don't be moving around anymore unless i want to. and unless i have the motivation.. i will just lay down on my bed.

backaches from sitting too long. leg too.. and my whole body basically.

unless i do intermittent fasting, i WILL eat uncontrollably. having access to unlimited free time and food can make me gain weight AAAHHHH

more money out since i keep buying fancy drinks and food now as i have too much free time... this is a self control problem i know. this is on me.

okay i definitely have more pros & cons but i can't just think of more as of rn. maybe next time i will write part 2 if there is anything i want to add!

ᯓ★ what about my previous job?

it was a shift food & beverage job and it was... an experience i guess (i never want to go back again) i would rather just be a customer damn. i never thought i would ever feel this much anxious feeling until i got into f&b. the first few months was kind of fun and okay-ish, but after that it was hell. at some point i couldn't breathe at work and literally had to go to the clinic to get checked during my work hour.

the way people interact during work was something.. in front of them they play along and laugh together, but behind they talk bad about each other. it got me thinking that they definitely had talked badly about me too, and this made me anxious. ngl, i've been a people pleaser for so long (now i recognize that it can be really bad doing this) so i want everyone to like me.

this also made me think that maybe, other people i know outside work also do this to me? i became anxious of every single interaction i do, offline or online. i keep thinking that maybe even my friends don't like me...

i have now realized that i do not have to be liked my everyone. maybe this people pleasing behaviour is based on my trauma, so i have a really hard time to unlearn this. like what do you mean someone don't like me when i have been nothing but nice to you? you don't even know me that well... i'm so sad

but it has to be stopped. i can't just be out there trying to seek validation from people who are not worth my time. it's hard, but everyday i have to remind myself that there are literally so many people who like and love me for who i am.

i got a fiancé and he's the best ever. i have great friends who like how weird i can get, how loud, how annoying i am. they love me because they want to. and i love them because i want to. and i need to remember that there will be people that dislike me just because they want to, and i don't have to do anything about it.

slowly learning the art of letting them be.

────୨ৎ────

end of log. this was cut short as i need to go now, but thank you for reading, see you next time!

[livin-like-larry413]

I am also a former supporter but I took time off this weekend to speak to a therapist cos it also fucked me up and to actual friends who work in the field of both healthcare and law enforcement. They IMMEDIATELY mentioned HIPAA laws that would result in both jailtime and hefty fines for any health care or crisis worker "breaking laws" to access this "military database" which doesn't exist - and also pointed out after I showed them sheheal's blog that no crisis worker worth their salt would insert + elevate themselves in this process the way sheheal claimed to be - and the final straw which enraged my actual licensed therapist friend is even making the initial offer to "DM people the family's contact to verify" this - offering strangers on the internet a supposedly grieving veteran's family's contact so people could believe SHEHEAL was legit? prioritizing her reputation over care?

I was chagrined and since then shutting up and clowning myself really for jumping to put my heart over my brain.

next time I'll use both and I hope you do too.

Taking time away and seeking therapeutic help is honestly the best step that anyone can take in situations like this, no matter what end of the road that you come from or are even just a bystander. This is an emotion driven situation no matter what, so I’m happy you’re in a better place, relatively, and I hope you continue to find your peace. That’s all that matters in the end. And for reference, I do use the “general, you” when speaking, so I’m not singling you out, anon, I’m just speaking to an invisible audience. I hope you’re feeling better.

And on the whole “how” they got all this information and their “crisis work”—If you know what to look for, and honestly, a lot of people don’t cause they just don’t know the information and that’s okay, it’s very obvious to see where they lie and where they pull lies from to be more likely to be taken seriously. I’m also old enough and have been in my own set of career fields to be able to spot a HIPPA violation from the start, which was also an obvious thing to see if you know where to look, but here’s the thing—I don’t care if she lied about how she got the information. Who they are will always be a mystery because no matter what they says and who they says they are, no one will ever be fully convinced because it started from a lie.

The lie could be the crisis work in itself, and wanting to be taken seriously in their investigation—it could be a relative that Myka reached out to after going offline, a hurt relative at that if she has indeed taken her life—we don’t know. It’s in a Schrödinger’s box right now, because of the nature that being online creates. You don’t truly know who someone is until you’re given vital information on them and their life, and this situation? We don’t know who sheheals is. Is them being hurt and lashing out appropriate right now? Maybe not if they’re not close to Myka. But if they are, then absolutely they’re allowed to be upset.

And honestly—I just don’t care for the reason, because that’s not the issue at hand that people are losing site of. The issue is people misusing their internet privileges to act immature online and spout whatever first comes to their mind without thinking of the consequences of saying these things. No matter what happened, or what is going to happen, people need to STOP for a minute and just think. Word have always had the power to influence, it’s why they’re more effective than actions most of the time, because they have an impact. People die from these impacts, no matter what, and no matter who you say it to.

People will lie about anything and everything, but it’s always for a reason. We don’t know it, and can only speculate the reason, because something else: no matter what’s said now, everyone that was involved can be thrown the “Well, why should I believe you?” line for various reasons. And that sucks. It’s become such a needlessly convoluted situation that it’s past the point of “Person A said something that incited [this] reaction, Person B said something vilifying and wrong to Person A for it—this had an unfortunate butterfly affect that unknowingly formed a witch hunt on Person A that no one was really predicting to happen”

Except, I will say—they should have predicted it. This has happened enough in this singular fandom in the last barely 3 years of it being heavily active, that they should have seen something like this happening when they chose to be cruel. If I, someone who has never interacted with this fandom, was able to see the state of it from afar and hear about everything that happens here from the grapevine, and then be able to see the extent of it myself in my own research, that is a dastardly huge issue of massive proportions.

People are refusing to accept that fact, because they either don’t see it as that big a deal, or they feel horrible for taking part in it, but don’t want to face the consequences of what has happened. You can feel bad about causing a butterfly effect that ends horrible, you are allowed to be sorry, and feel responsible if that’s how you chose to see it, but to ignore it and then turn around and continue to attack an account that you “suspect” to be an alt isn’t the appropriate response. Unless you start pulling illegal spyware out from your pocket and reverse search every single blog that you suspect to be Myka in disguise’s IP, that is, but I doubt people will go that far just to be proven right. (I will eat my entire house if that ends up happening, and then refer back to everything I’ve just said here, because honestly what the fuck)

There is unfortunately racism in every community you find, no matter what, there’s always going to be someone creating an echo chamber of their own racist values who draw other racists in with them, but my god—the entire point of this whole string of threads is people not including POC characters into every interaction and every text meme is not the end of the world and it’s not racist. Calling someone racist as just a tag line and being a nasty individual to someone for not including POC to every single post they make is unrealistic and a form of harassment, because guess what? It’s never racist to have a headcanon that excludes POC, until the headcanon is a fundamentally racist one. That’s the only time it should be called out for what it is, but any other time, when it’s inconsequential like a stupid NSFW shitpost, is not.

This fandom has seen it happen time and time again, and that’s the point that people are still seeming to miss whenever I look up what other people are saying: Calling someone “racist”, or “a pedo” (If you remember Inquisitor) or any other type of label that has no basis of being truthful (remember, like Inquisitor), simply for the reason that they made something you didn’t like, that you could very much make yourself in response—you know what you’re doing. You know, in some way, you’re painting a target on someone’s back that doesn’t deserve it, simple because you’re mad. And that is such a shitty and irresponsible thing to do.

I know the people who unintentionally started this mess by doing so in the first place have apologized, however weakly or heartfelt they were, because there was two different ways they all apologized or haven’t apologized—I’ve seen both, and I’m gonna say it again for them specifically—because the last thing I want is to be misconstrued and have my words be overlooked when I say it: they should not have been sent death threats or harassed for what has happened either. No matter what issue arises, or what event takes place, death threats, harassment and other forms of torment are never appropriate.

Should they have known better? Sure, but they don’t control other peoples actions. They can’t control the people that make their own witch hunts and drive away the creators that these bloggers have beef with, just like they don’t control what people do or how people chose to respond to their cruel words. They’re not blameless, but they also aren’t in control of anyone but themselves. Because guess what death threats and harassment can lead to?

I’m so inclined to believe Myka’s passing because I’ve seen it in my real life, not just online. Situations just like this, over fandom drama that gets over inflated and taken way out of proportion until someone ends up passing away. It’s a very real and raw thing, and being on any end of this situation is gut wrenching. Guilt and shame are on both sides; guilt for starting it up, guilt for not being there to stop Myka and help her, shame for being so loose with cruel words, shame for not being so free with comfort. It’s complex, and some people are frustratingly content to keep it from being as complex as it is.

There are no sides to this, no matter what people will try to lead you to believe. At the end of the day, a life has been lost, and people still want a drama show from it.

[avocadotoastwithspicypepper-blog]

First Meeting

First part of an imagined life with Charles Leclerc. MC is a female and refers to She/Her pronouns. Also has her own name, because I am planning on this series on being long and prolific. Not the best but the start of something great.

words: 691

Click here to access the masterlist!

Being drunk in a club making out with a stranger was exactly how I saw myself this summer. Grace and I wanted a vacation unlike any that we have ever had before. Most people we know wanted to stay in the states and go to LA or NYC. We wanted to be different. We wanted a picturesque vacation in the French Riviera with a rich nightlife. We stumbled upon Monaco. We had found the cheapest hotel, bought our plane tickets, and set our eyes high. 

On our first night in this country we dressed in our best clothes and got ready to go to a club. We found one online and ubered there.When we entered the club it was around 12:00 at night. We beelined our way to the bar and ordered some of the cheapest drinks.

 “The drinks are so expensive here,” I whispered. She laughs and nods her head in agreement. 

“That’s because we’re in Monaco, Anna.” 

I shove her playfully. We finish our drinks at the bar and request one more. After we finish the round we head out to the dance floor. At first we dance with each other until two guys approach us.  “Bonjour,” they say. Both are tall, one is taller than the other. Brown haired, green eyed, distinctively French. “Bonjour,” we say back.

“Vous parlez Français?” One asks, the hotter one. Grace looks over at me confused. I smile at her and then turn toward our new friends.

“Je parle un peu,” I say. Pointing to Grace I say, “Elle ne parle pas Français.” 

“Oh okay,” the other says. 

“Let’s dance,” Grace says. With all of us in agreement I break towards the guy I found attractive. He breaks towards me as well. Over the course of the night dancing turned into grinding which turned into making out. 

With this guy the whole world faded away. The music only spurs us on. My fingers are in his hair, his are on my ass gently digging into it. The moment is euphoric, almost too euphoric for this world. I move my hands to his hips pulling him close. He moves his hands to my hair pulling my head up closer to his. Someone bumps into us and we break apart with a laugh. We go back to making out. I can’t help but to thank my previous boyfriends for the previous experience. 

Breaking us out of our moment, someone taps on my shoulder. I pull away from the hottest man I have ever seen with a small smile on my face.The man’s hands fall from my hair to my hips. I turn to look at who tapped me. It’s Grace, her face is flushed and her lips swollen. Grace shouts, “Anna we need to go back, it's 2 am.” He gently squeezes my hips. I look back up to him. He smiles back at me. 

“Ok, give me a second,” I shout back at her. Turning back to the stranger, I lean in closer. I breathlessly say, “I haven’t gotten your name.” His hands caress my back. He kisses me again. 

“Charles,” he says, “my name is Charles.”

“That’s a beautiful name,” I say as I go and kiss him. Charles kisses me back and pulls me in closer. 

“What’s your name, ma belle,” Charles asks.

“Anna,” I whisper. 

“Anna?”

 “Oui?” 

“I want to see you again.” 

“I do too,” I say. Reaching into my handbag, i grab my phone. I open up my contacts and pass my phone to Charles. He puts his number into my phone as cha. With one last kiss I say, “Au revoir,” and make my way through the club holding Grace’s hand. As we stumble our way back to our hotel laughing and talking about our night one thing has been made clear; this will be the best summer of our lives. As we take turns showering I text cha.

After I plug my phone in and hop in the shower. My thoughts are laced with Charles and what could or could not be. I go to sleep with a smile for my day to come.

[furiousgoldfish]

Hello. So, I have a narcissistic father that's very controlling and very selfish, and I'm 17(Turning 18 in August next year), and I plan on moving out the second I become 18. Only a few problems though...

What if my father decides to hurt himself and then call the cops and frame me for it? 2. What if he tries to hold me hostage and then beat me to the point where I can't physically move and I'm forced to stay with him? 3. What if he decides to kill me before I can leave? Narcissists can do anything to you and get away with it.

Also, I have a MAJOR problem with two narcissists here on Tumblr. They are both artists, and since July of last year, they and their flying monkeys have been on a smear campaign against me, and they're trying to find my new account, so they can try to destroy what little joy I get from being on here sometimes. The are very determined and very obsessed with "spreading the truth" about me, including one narcissist that claims to "hate abusers to the core," while taking part in baiting, verbal, emotional, and psychological abuse that another narcissist started against me. I'm also apparently their scapegoat now; whenever they get criticized about their behavior, it's apparently "always me." Any tips for dealing with fandom-wide smear campaigns and covert malignant narcissists online?

Okay, so based on your ask, I can tell that you've been through some extreme scenarios and that fearing the worst, most insane action from your father, is common and normal in your case, and you have to be ready for it.

If your father tries to frame you for injury that he inflicted, you need to have an alibi. If you can prove you were in a different place, different address, with someone else knowing where you are, there's no trace of struggle on you, no trace of fighting with him, he won't be able to prove it.

If he tries to hold you hostage as an adult, I believe police should be on your side here; in a case this extreme you should be able to access the services of a violence center. The thing is, I don't believe this to be extremely likely because in this case, if he's caught, he'll face jail time. Narcissists will do extreme things to keep you at home, but they're very aware that if they're caught doing extreme violence, beating someone bloody or holding them hostage, that it would incriminate him, and make him look very very bad. Once he tries to keep you like that, he would have to prevent you from escaping forever, and it would be near impossible to keep you like that forever, you'd eventually be able to escape and tell everything to the police. That would be a very scary scenario for him. Narcissists usually do these extreme things to children, expecting children to not be able to remember, verbalize, understand it's not normal, or to tell anyone, small children are the only safe targets for such extreme violence. Once you have cognitive function and enough understanding of language and human rights that you can tell you're being held hostage, they'll unlikely do to it as directly; they'll try to guilt you, lower your confidence, sabotage you from getting a job, trigger you in vital moments, convince you that you'll die if you leave. They'll use more covert tactics that can be disguised as 'concerned parent' or 'obsessively attached parent' rather than to incriminate themselves. Still, I don't know your father, and it's possible he might just be completely insane; in that case you need to have it in writing, that if you disappear, this is who is holding you, send that to your friends or anyone you know, with instructions to call the police.

Again killing you would have him face jailtime, so it's unlikely unless he's just completely insane, or if you running away also means jailtime for him because you already have too much atrocities to tell. In that case you need to pretend that you have no intentions of leaving, and try to act like you're resigned to stay, like you're planning all kinds of things from home - until the very moment when you can be away and in location he can't reach. If he isn't suspecting that you're trying to get away, he won't have time to prevent it or to try to murder you. You should plan your escape when he's not at home, pretend you're going just to the store or to visit someone, or something inconspicuous, have a bag of your stuff stashed outside where you can grab it without being seen, and jump into a car/cab/train/vehicle where someone can take you to safety. Don't tell your final location to anyone. Block his number. Answer your phone to other people, at least for first week, so they can't report you missing. But don't let them lecture you or tell you that you should be going back home, only reply so they know you're safe.

If anyone else has more experiences like this and better advice, please share, I only know escaping and then keeping my location hidden from everyone, and using a fake name so I cannot get found.

I'm sorry about the smear campaign, best I can advise is to not engage. Sadly there's no anti-measure that really works, if you don't engage at least they can't tell which part of the campaign actually triggers you and makes you feel awful. I suspect the real-life situation is much more urgent, but it sucks they ruined your online space as well.

[pikipekarmy]

How To Beat Giovanni

I'm just gonna go ahead and admit it: the secret to beating the Rocket Boss Giovanni, who I find much more palatable as the ringleader of a very eccentric LARP group rather than as any kind of plausibly genuine entity, stay tuned for more off-the-wall Rocket theories folks, is:

the power of friendship

I have an issue where I'm slightly worried I've leveled up in this game too fast. I really genuinely honestly love sending and getting the little postcard gifts, those are an obsession for me, and I put stickers on them and they're a lifeline when you're anywhere rural where there's no convenient pokestop walking trail etc (do you know how tedious it is to sit across from the only pokestop for miles with a five-minute timer on your watch spinning the damn thing every five minutes on the dot for hours?) But I have a suspicion those give you too much XP without corresponding game play. And so I hit the point where I'm expected to be able to defeat Giovanni, but I haven't caught that many Pokemon relative to my XP level. That's my suspicion, anyway, because-- well, to beat the Rocket Leaders, I'd already learned that I had to find a primer on what critters they had, and then figure out the type vulnerabilities and go through my deck and find critters with the correct attacks and make sure they were appropriately leveled, and I'd studied up on Giovanni, so the first time I encountered him I went out with my strongest quick-charging-charged-attack fighter, and then I had three possibles for his middle guy, each carefully chosen, and then I had my counter for his final guy, and I got out there and made it through his Persian and then-- whoever the second guy was would just chew up everything i had no matter what. And this was before I hit on my superstition about keeping no fewer than six guys defending gyms as lures to get revives (I genuinely think this is superstition on my part but I believe it super deeply, I'm very easy to condition) so I didn't have enough revives to just keep trying and trying it, I had to give up.

So I went to my various little Discord channels, and first I confirmed with my online friends who got me into this mess that I'd read the instructions right and had the correct guys loaded up to exploit his type vulnerabilities etc., and then I went to the local group and asked if anyone had any tips in the newbie-friendly-help channel, and both groups came back with

you need better pokemon

which is way harsh but was demonstrably true. Well, what pokemon do I need? Machamp, he's the best fighting type. Well, where do I get one?

mm. He doesn't seem to be currently widely available in the game. Everyone has like a dozen or two of them who's been playing more than a couple months, but. yeah there was maybe a community day? Nobody could remember where they'd gotten theirs. People checked. Oh yeah I've had all mine two years or more. Oh yeah hm. No, they're not spawning anywhere currently.

Well okay what else can I do? If I need a specific Pokemon--

well, I leveled up the guys I had, I spent a while reading up on how to use Technical Machines to change the attacks an individual creature has, and reluctantly realized that none of mine would really benefit that much from it.

"Literally any of us could trade you one," came the answer from the local board. Half a dozen people friended me, since there's a stardust discount if you exchange gifts for a while. (Now I send and receive even more gifts per day. now I am leveling up even more quickly. I crossed the Lvl 30 threshold, after which you get the same spawns as everyone else but, crucially, after which you also can get max revives, which, extra crucially, do not replace revives in the potential loot pool, and I think this is genuinely what did it for me, that you can accrue them and revives simultaneously from the same random distribution-- this gives you access to twice the number of revives even if you don't change your behavior otherwise. I still believe I have to constantly keep half a dozen guys in gyms though. I was raised Catholic, I'm really good at believing stuff.)

In the middle of this I got a Machoke as a research reward! I was very excited, I'd be able to field my own fighter after all! ... 100 candies to evolve. OR you can trade him and then it's free.

Oh. Oh. Well then!

Raid Night came, and everyone else does it remote (this was back in the halcyon days of late March), but I asked if anyone would be willing to physically come to the neighborhood where the gyms are. You don't have to like, go to someone's house to trade. I figure, I know from their postcards these people hang around in neighborhoods near that strip with all the gyms on it. And sometimes other people would come in person for the raids, so I figured that was the least weird thing to ask. Is anyone gonna come to do one or more of the raids in person? Can we trade then?

Sure enough, one guy was willing to do it, who I'd been exchanging interactions with so we were leveled up okayish, and so I betook myself down to the strip with the gyms. He was running late, this was fine, I ran out and did my two in-person raids for the evening, got snowed on etc. And then I retreated to a bar just off the main drag, as the Raid Train continued on the southerly route.

And Local Guy (who had driven in from about an hour away for this) rolled up outside in his car, and DM'd me to start the trade. I asked him if he wanted to come in for a beer and he said no. He just swapped me a Machoke for a trash mon he planned to transfer, waited for me to evolve it, and then swapped me a Machamp he'd already put a second charged attack onto and leveled up as far as it would go, and then drove off into the night, without my ever having seen him. See You Space Cowboy...

[trades of a creature you don't already have in your pokedex cost more in stardust. trading me a machoke since i already had one was cheap; machokes get free evolution after they're traded, so it cost me 0 candy to evolve him, and then once i had a machamp already in my pokedex, trading another was similarly cheap.]

I beat Giovanni... well, not the next time I saw him, I still had to tweak my approach, but the time after that.

So we'll call that good, anyway.

[possessionisamyth]

Thanks to AI scrapping, which is when a bunch of assholes "collect" people's works without permission to improve the quality of their AI (including your little RP bots and fic "generators"), Archive Of Our Own has suggested many authors switch their works so only people with an account can view them.

Like fanartists, fanfic authors also do not like having their shit stolen, so a lot of people will be doing this as soon as possible.

Now is the time to ask others for invites to get an account, recover forgotten passwords for existing accounts, or sign your email on the temporary waitlist to make a new account if you want to maintain access to all your favorite fic without worrying about it.

I know for a fact there will be authors completely removing their fic from online spaces due to this shift. A few of my friends have already done this, and their accounts are gone. Some who were getting hundreds of hits per chapter update, decided it was too risky and now there are fans of their works who will not see an ending to the stories they love.

Whether its drawing or writing, the people who make art for the media we enjoy with plans to share it freely with others do not deserve the weird sense of entitlement people have gained from demanding "content" like they're machines. The advancement of AI with this "content creation" culture is definitely going to lead to some dark spaces for a bit.

I have about 180 fics I've written that I've made wonderful friends through, and I know get love from my small audiences in each fandom to this day. I'm also debating just taking them off, because at what point is free labor and shared engagement worth removing the person behind the art okay and normal?

Please talk to artists/writers like we're people and we'll spit out the exact content you've already been enjoying. You literally do not have to run to bots for this!

[literaryoblivion]

Abandoned WIP-SuperWolf Crossover

I’ll tag them with #my abandoned WIPs to organize it. If you see any and are so inspired by any of these to either create you own or finish, PLEASE tag me! I’d love to see if someone was able to take it and run with it since it stalled out for me.

SuperWolf Crossover AU with #Destiel & #sterek where Dean and Stiles are demons, and Cas is a hunter, and Derek is still himself (it would've followed events of TW S1 to a certain extent)

(A/N: This was meant to be a Supernatural/Teen Wolf crossover AU w/ both #destiel & #sterek. Demon!Dean is training brand new demon!Stiles how to be a demon. It would've followed the events of TW S1 only Stiles would know everything was supernatural & they'd recruit Hunter!Cas to help)

“Really?” Dean says with a look of pure disdain at the teenager standing before him. 

“What?” the kid replies, his mouth in a little smirk. 

“Of all the people you could possess, you pick some snotty brat high schooler?”

“If you think about it, it’s kind of fitting doncha think? If I’m going to demon school, might as well look the part, yeah? Besides, this kid is a genius, and all this kid has is a dad, which is a lot better than the little brother you made your guy leave behind all those years ago.”

Dean narrows his eyes because even though he could care less about the brother, with every mention of him the man inside screams, and it gives him a headache. It’s been a long while, and Dean and the man whose life he hijacked have grown to accept each other.

But with every slight indication of Sam, the man’s brother, he decides to flare up, which is really annoying if Dean’s being honest. “Whatever. This kid have a name or you going to make one up?”

“He goes by Stiles, and I kind of like it, so I’m keeping it. He’s pretty cool. We’re pretty similar, you know? I think he’s starting to get used to me.”

Dean clears his throat. “Alright, Stiles, Demon 101 first lesson. Tap into his mind to access information and background history, but you can’t let yourself go too much or he could overtake you.”

“Yeah, yeah, I got it.” Stiles closes his eyes in concentration to perform the task. 

“Okay, whaddya got? Who’re his friends? Family? Hobbies?” 

His eyes still closed, Stiles starts spouting off information, “Goes to Beacon Hills High School, where his favorite subject is English. He’s had a crush on a girl named Lydia with strawberry blonde hair since middle school, but she doesn’t give him the time of day. His best friend is named Scott, and they are both on the school lacrosse team, but Stiles always ends up on the bench. 

“Man, poor kid. It is a good thing I came along to help him out. When I’m through, he’s going to be the star player and get the girl!” 

“Stiles, focus,” Dean says, a little exasperated.

“Well, I mean it’s the least I can do right? That’s cool, yeah? That’s allowed? Helping the possessee out a little?” Stiles opens his eyes, solid black pupils reflecting the street lamp nearby, and looks up at Dean.

Dean rolls his eyes. “You can do whatever you want. If you want to feel better about yourself, fine. Can we get back to…” he says waving his hand for Stiles to continue with the lesson.

“Oh, right. Okay, umm let me see here. He had a mom, but she died of cancer when he was younger. His dad is the town sheriff, and he likes playing video games especially this fantasy one online—“ 

“What did you say?” Dean shouts, cutting him off.

“It’s some roleplaying game where they battle mythical—“ 

“NO. Not the stupid game. Did you just say this kid’s dad is the Sheriff?!” 

“Oh… ummm yes? In my defense, I did not know that ‘til just now.”

Dean rubs his hand over his face. “You idiot. Not only do we have to worry about hunters tracking us, now we gotta worry about cops! That face,” Dean points to Stiles, circling his finger to indicate Stiles’s face, “is going to be plastered everywhere because not only is this kid going to be missing, but his Sheriff dad isn’t going to stop looking for him. Ever.”

“Dude, I’m sorry! I didn’t know, okay? And… who says this kid is going to go missing?” he says, one eyebrow lifting up like he just had an idea.

“I don’t like that look. Stop. Look, kid, you’re just going to have to come out and possess someone with a few more years on him that doesn’t have relatives in law enforcement.”

“But I like this one! No, hear me out. Let’s stay here a while. I’ll go to school and do everything he normally does, and then I’ll sneak out and you can be my demon Yoda at night.” 

“Demon Yoda?” Dean deadpans. “Sneaking out every night doesn’t sound like a better plan.”

“What? Of course it does! Teenagers always sneak out. Plus I’m the son of a Sheriff, that’s like textbook cause for rebellion. Dean, come on, this is a good plan. No one knows you here. You can get a job and an apartment. You know… settle down a little before you beg your hunter lover to come find you.”

Suddenly angry, Dean lunges forward, grabbing Stiles’s throat and wrapping his hand around it.

Stiles flails a little in surprise, but he’s wearing a smirk on his face and shows no sign of Dean’s tightening hand having any effect on him. “Excuse me? You don’t have a fucking clue what you are talking about.”

“Oh I don’t, huh? That’s why you’re choking me? Cause I’m clueless? Which may I point out, probably not a good idea for a grown man to be choking an innocent teenager whose dad is the sheriff. Might be hard for you to make friends around here…”

Dean slowly loosens his grip around Stiles’s throat, but his hand stays pressed against the boy’s neck. “You don’t know anything about Cas, and if you say another fucking word about him, I’ll send you straight back to hell myself.”

“Geez, don’t get your panties in a twist. Didn’t know it was such a sensitive subject for you. I mean I’m not judging. Fool around with whoever you want; I might be new to this, but even I know it’s a rare occurrence that a hunter would rather jump your bones than send you back to hell.” 

Dean makes a move like he’s going to punch him, but Stiles throws up his hands in apology. “Hey, again I don’t care. Get with who you want. I just hope for your sake it doesn’t go south like that one demon that tried to put the moves on that angel Balthazar. And here I thought demons were supposed to be the deceitful cheating ones.” Dean looks a little taken aback by this information.

Clearly he’s been out of the loop for a while and hadn’t heard anything about someone trying to hook up with an angel. He knew plenty well what dicks angels could be, had heard about it from Castiel occasionally. “Cas wouldn’t do that. We have a mutually beneficial relationship, and if that changes, believe me, I won’t be sticking around long enough to see where the fall-out lands.”

“Yeah okay,” Stiles says, taking a step back from Dean and straightening his shirt. “I hope he knows that,” he murmurs under his breath. 

Dean hears it, but he doesn’t comment. He’s already embarrassed himself with how attached he is to Castiel, he doesn’t need any more.

[traumasurvivorshelpingsurvivors]

hi, so uh no TW's here (i think), but just some general advice. although it's not related to trauma, the advice i've gotten from the mods here is great, so i'm hoping that's okay! but just in case; tl;dr i need some advice on an online friend situation. so over the past 2 years ish, i used to be on discord for a game i used to play at one point. i used to to talk with a lot of people there & made some good friends, but it's been a long time now and a lot of people have moved on with their lives and i'm not in touch with too many. however i've kept contact with one friend and we talked a lot over the last year. i've talked with him about all my irl issues and he knows about my traumas. we even call each other best friends. but here's the thing, i prefer to have a divide over my online and real life. in some sense, it gives me peace and keeps me sane because i have a history of feeling shitty using social media sometimes. although he has been on me on video call, i never show my face because i don't feel comfy doing it. and thing is, the guys not really mad. he's been upset over it sometimes, but he respects it. i've also not given out my personal number. however, due to real life situations, i have decided to completely get rid of social media and have been off it for a while now, like instagram & discord so on. my friend has my gmail, so they can contact me through that, but i barely get a chance to reply. i've not been in the best place mentally, and i have a habit of taking very long periods to reply. this morning i checked my email for some uni work and saw the emails voicing his concern. they talked about how i disappear and leave nothing for them to contact me, they don't know how i look like and they still call me my best friend. it wasn't a rude gmail, it was genuinely full of concern but he sounded disappointed. although it's my fault for not letting them know about my situation, i still feel very guilty about it and i'm having a hard time writing back to them. we last talked over a month ago on gmail. and i know it's not good at all, but i haven't had the energy to respond to them. my therapist has suggested that i remove my online persona altogether because she does not see me doing well with being online, but wants me to not hurt anyone else in the process. and i honestly want to do it, because social media is draining for me, and i do not want to talk to anybody online except those i have real life connections with. but i really do feel bad abt the fact that i might have cut them off too, although i feel like not being online at all really might do my mental health well, but i'm not sure how to convey this to them. the fact that i want nothing to do with them anymore or any online friend just for my own sake feels very selfish and wrong, especially because they're nowhere at fault, and they really look up to me and respect me, but somehow, i feel like online friends remain online friends and i cannot let my guard down to go beyond that, although they've expressed wanting to be in real life friends before. i don't have the heart to tell them that they're merely an online friend to me. i seriously don't want to be on social media anymore, but i don't want to hurt them either. i'd really appreciate some advice on how i can go about this. sorry its so long!! hope y'all have a good day.

Hi anon, 

Thank you for the kind words about previous advice and it’s absolutely alright to reach out about interpersonal relationship dynamics - hopefully any of the below might prove helpful, or at the very least, validating.

You shared that you have a firm boundary about online versus real life, and you’re certainly not alone in that regard - who is allowed access to us in any and all ways - is only something you get to decide for yourself.  Regardless if that boundary might shift as you further progress on your healing journey, or not, currently you sound sure of what you need and have taken the steps to advocate for those needs (yay!).  

Though it’s equally valid for him to share his concern for you and politely request alternative ways to stay in contact to nurture the friendship, the way I’m reading your ask is that you feel the relationship has reached its course?  I don’t think it’s talked about often enough, but friendships changing, shifting, or even ending, is just as significant as the romantic counterparts, and in my opinion, it’s understandable that the complexities of trying to navigate that ending feel no less draining than trying to maneuver through a romantic break up.

And though I think you are being kind and empathetic by trying to find the best way to honor your needs, while avoiding hurting his feelings, sometimes - unfortunately - it cannot be avoided.  I believe your responsibility is to you stating your boundaries, and honoring his personhood by being kind in your goodbye message, but in regards to whatever his feelings might be in response?  Those are for him to process and manage. 

Without knowing either of you, I certainly cannot state definitely how you, or him might feel about it, or what happens next - but I’d encourage a goodbye message just to help with the sense of closure for you both.  I’d imagine there’s a way to offer appreciation for what the friendship was during a specific time of your life, and affirmations and assurances that it’s nothing personal, but that this is what you need for yourself at this time.  Hopefully hearing it’s not them, but something you need for your own mental health, will allow them to accept your boundary with grace, and compassion.  However even if they do not, it would not mean that your boundary was not valid.  And you have options when it comes to level of access with this person - gray rock, blocking, etc.  

Regardless of what you decide moving forward, I wish you well.

Mod Kat

[yanderelovlies]

✨Galaxy Anon ✨ here!

Viví ahh no worries I will! I will make so many prompts that you feel so inspired! And lots of angst too since you like them as well! But I will put fluff endings for them too since my heart can only handle so much.

Yeah they said they are and they don’t want people to criticize those people so gotta respect them.

May I ask what does she do in class? Oh I’m sorry vivi! I hope your best is enough that she grades it well!

It makes sense since now it’s even worse online and how toxic it is and not to mention it’s even easier to access not appropriate sites and more toxic people. Not to mention you don’t want them to get groomed by bad people since kids are impressionable.

He never hurt you right though? Though being uncomfortable still isn’t okay. Ewww he needs to stop that isn’t okay if it makes you uncomfortable or even freaks you out. At least that’s a pro not associating with those people. Thanks so much viví and me too vivi I’m so happy as well!

Thanks it’s comforting to hear those words.

Aahh love some good angst to fluff. I also like so straight up angst. I can't tell you why but ugh I love it.

I have a lot of respect for sauce. I try to keep up with everything, but I never really got into Twitter. I only use it to commission an artist (I really love their art).

This is an online class so I have never seen her or spoken to her. I only get the instructions and the occasional announcements. She doesn't give much feedback either and it drives me crazy. I miss my last composition teacher 😭. Also I hope so too it's worth 100 points and I'm sitting at a low B.

Them getting prayed upon scares me. There is somethings I don't want to be repeated, and give them the same scars. So I'm on that hard. My mom is even shocked by it at times.

God no I made sure to never be around him without friends and family. He later lost interest, and other shit went down. I'm just glad I wasn't involved lol.

[lungs-and-gills]

Find the word tag

Thank you for the tag @lynnedwardswrites!

Okay, winner, accident, grandmother, indication, shopping. Let's crack in:

Winner: None for winner, however I do have winning? So we'll sub that in

It was surprisingly easy to find Dr. Zale’s address. People really aren’t careful with what they put online these days. He drove by the house a few hours before nightfall just to see what it looked like. 

It definitely wasn’t what he thought an award-winning doctor in marine biology would have as a home. It was small, and old, and clearly falling apart for longer than the four years she’d been gone. The neighborhood wasn’t exactly friendly either, Art swore he saw a drug deal happening down the street, in broad daylight, not even a block from Dr. Zale’s dark, empty house. 

Suddenly Art was a little less worried about the cops catching him sneaking in. But to be safe he’d still wait till nightfall. He did promise he’d be careful after all.

Accident (lucky you, you get THREE)

Tatum came back a moment later, looking extremely guilty. 

“I-I’m sorry Art, that--that was a mistake, it was an accident--”

“Mistake?” Art interrupted, feeling anger flare in his chest. “Accident? You started it! You just said you wanted to!”

The words felt childish as soon as they left his mouth, but it was true. 

“I know, I know, I just, I shouldn’t have--I’m such an idiot,” he said running his hands through his hair. 

“Is it… is it because I’m trans?” Art said, his voice starting to waver. Tatum snapped up, his face wearing that same expression of horror. 

“No! No, oh Art, no, I don’t care about that--”

“It-It makes sense, I-I don’t pass very well since I’m n-not on T yet--”

“Art, no, no no no, that’s not why, oh Art--” Tatum cut off as he suddenly gripped Art in a hug, making Art gasp a little before hugging him back. “That’s not why, I don’t care if you pass or not, you’re perfect either way.”

Art sighed and dropped his hands. 

“Tatum, you’re giving me very mixed signals right now. First you’re kissing me, then you’re saying it was a mistake, or accident, or something, and now you’re hugging me and telling me I’m perfect--”

“Fuck, I know, I know, I’m sorry,” Tatum said, releasing Art. “It’s not about that, I promise.”

Grandmother: None, and nothing at all resembling it lol

Indicating: Also nothing lol

Shopping:

“Water? The ocean is right there,” Tatum said, pointing it out in case Art missed it. Art rolled his eyes at him and Tatum tried not to get too annoyed about that. 

“You can’t drink ocean water, Tatum. Or at least I can’t. It has salt in it, that will only make me more thirsty and dehydrated,” Art said. He glanced down at his water bottle, already almost empty. “Fuck. What am I gonna do? I-I can’t go anywhere. There’s a tourist shopping area not too far that will have food and water, but what happens when we run out of money? Even if I take my old job it won’t be enough for all of us to eat and pay for transportation--and that’s even if I can get my job back, I don’t have access to my resume or anything now--and I forgot my fucking phone charger--hell I probably shouldn’t even go back there anyway, that’s the first place they’ll look for me and no fucking way I’m leaving you guys and going back into foster care, I’m not fucking doing it--”

“Hey,” Tatum interrupted. Art looked up at him, and the desperate expression on his face made Tatum’s heart squeeze. “It’s okay, I’m gonna help you."

TA DA

Ok the rest of you need to go find knife, water, read, shimmer, and friend (I also accept synonyms or other versions of the word, like reading instead or read or blade instead of knife)

No Pressure Tags: @cream-and-tea @sarah-sandwich-writes @gwendolinequinn

[waitimcomingtoo]

hi! i saw that you give some advice on your ask? i’m not really sure who to talk to rn so i hope it’s okay to pop onto your ask like this :’) sorry to dump all of this on you. you don’t have to read or respond to this if you don’t feel like it! i know these things must take some energy too. i hope you’re having a wonderful time. happy new year! <3

so i may be looking for some reassurance rn? bc i just feel quite scared and anxious about the new year. it’s really bc i’ll be moving to a whole new area away from my parents for college since i’ll (finally) be attending in-person classes. the area is quite... it’s very intimidating, sorts of crime happen but i have no choice since that’s where my college is and i do live quite far as well. it’ll be a really huge adjustment for me, especially considering the fact that i am also heavily introverted and i haven’t really made any college friends as well through online classes, so i really don’t know anyone. i’m also expecting a lot of different personalities when i meet new people. i just feel very intimidated. anxious. i’m not as excited as i was last year during the new years, i’m really expecting so many difficulties this year and i’m scared. i’m scared i’ll be traumatized at some point and go back into the depressive state i was in before, again. i want to be happy and invincible but i’m afraid this year won’t be good to me because of all this. i’m not sure how i can calm myself down, i’ve tried my usual ways but i just keep coming back to this. would love and appreciate your thoughts on this, if you have the time. thank you so much <3

oh and btw, you’re one of my favorite writers. it’s always so exciting to see new updates from you. i absolutely love your works and i definitely can’t wait to see what you have in store for this year :) i appreciate you, thank you.

You have a lot of valid feelings and it’s totally normal to feel anxious before a big change. But don’t convince yourself that you won’t make friends or will be traumatized or have a bad time. If you tell yourself these things before you get there, they will come true. You won’t know what it’s like or what sort of people you will meet until you get there. And you’re definitely not the only one feeling the way you’re feeling. I would go in with 0 expectations and just learn the ways of your college for yourself. I promise college isn’t as scary and daunting as it seems. It’s a lot of big changes but most of the changes are really good. Just always remember that whatever happens is meant to happy and will eventually lead you in the right direction.

I also lived in a city when I was in college and had to walk 40 minutes from my apartment to campus, sometimes in the dark. It’s gonna be sketchy at night no matter where you are so here are some safety tips I used

Avoid walking anywhere alone if you can. If you have no one to walk with, catch up to strangers who are walking the same direction and walk close to them. It’ll look like you’re in the group or at least reassure you that you’re not alone

If you’re walking and totally alone, pretend you’re on the phone. I would usually pretend I was talking to my boyfriend or dad and loudly tell him I was on my home to him so anyone e listening knows there is someone in expecting me home

I would also mention something about the fake boyfriend/dad being a cop if I had to walk past a group of men

If you have keys, put them between your fingers like wolverine so if you have to punch someone, it’ll hurt more

I had a rape whistle on my keychain as well as mace on me at ALL times. I kept them in an easily accessible place so I could use them as soon as I need them

Keep your head down when walking past strangers bc making eye contact with them usually invites a conversation

If someone tries to stop you to talk to you, don’t stop. Keep walking. You can answer them but say you’re late and have to go

If you order food to where you live, call inside “foods here” so the delivery person doesn’t think you’re alone

I hope this helps. Good luck!! 💗💗