#or if it's not now that you can get there someday soon.
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I hate the thought of having a baby I can’t think of anything worse. I’m 20 and at university and see this bright future ahead of me. But my boyfriend is a bit older (30) and desperately wants me to be pregnant. But apart from the fact that I really don’t want children, I don’t want to drop out of uni and I love the way my body and life is.
My boyfriend is threatening to breakup with me if I don’t at least try, and I really can’t lose him I love him so much. But I don’t know if he loves me as much as I love him because why would he ask me to do this? I’m so confused and don’t know what to do. He says if I’m actually serious about him and love him as much as I say I do then I should give him my contraception pills to look after
I'm going to answer this seriously, because it seems like you're looking for actual advice.
Your boyfriend is abusive. This will be glaringly obvious to everyone who reads what you've just written. You should break up with him as soon as you safely can, and you should be extremely careful about your birth control in the meantime.
You're completely correct: this is not the way someone who loves and cares about their partner would act. "If you loved me you would" and "I'll break up with you if you don't" are well-worn tactics of abuse, and he's trying to use them to override your most important needs in an irreversible way. Deliberately having children is not something you should ever do unless both partners are fully on board, and this is the nightmare scenario: one partner not wanting it at all and the other one trying to pressure them into it.
This is also a very familiar pattern: he's 30, you're 20, he's trying to force you to get pregnant so that you're dependent on him and isolated from all your current support networks, with no way to get out. Age gaps like this are concerning precisely because of the possibility of abuse, and the abuse looks exactly like this.
One more thing I want to address:
I really can't lose him I love him so much
Someday you're going to look back on this and say "I can't believe I ever thought that was love." You're 20, and if this isn't your very first relationship as an adult, it's surely one of the first; you have so much ahead of you. You're going to find someone who genuinely loves and cares for you, and when you do, you're going to realize that this relationship was like a cigarette, not a campfire: it could burn you, and poison you, but it couldn't keep you warm.
Take care, anon. Tell some people you trust about this, and look for domestic abuse counseling resources at your university. You're in a very dangerous place right now, and you need to focus on making it through safely.
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FOR THE BEST
in which two past lovers meet again when they needed each other the most. 🎐
after 2 years of letting go the dream she once lived Yu Jimin now faces the hard time of living a life she doesn’t deserve. as she navigates through herself and her emotions she stumbles back apon Choi Su Bong. a childish man that she once called hers. however, now unable to call their relationship something in the present, the two split due to difficulties in life. but a man in a suit and a silly offer to play some games can change everything for these two.
hi everyone! this is my first fanfic so i hope you guys enjoy! this will be chapter one and i’ll try to send more chapters asap! this is a past lovers fic with angst and a hint of smut eheh, but this will be a choi su bong x oc fic since i dont really like doing xreader fics hehe. but i might do one in the future who knows! nws enjoy!
CHAPTER 1: the lies i tell myself
YU JIMIN
“Uhm excuse me?”
I felt a light tap on my shoulder, turning around a small kid came eye to eye with me. “Yes can I help you?” I was exhausted, working here in a children’s play area was not for the weak. The amount of shit I had to clean up (literally), the moms coming an hour later to pick up their kids, and don’t get me started on the married fathers hitting on me. “Unnie can you help me find my toy? I think I lost it in the area over there..” I let out a sigh, ‘It doesn’t hurt to help a kid out..’, I thought to myself. “Sure kiddo, just lead me to where you think it might be.” I crouched down and ruffled his hair.
-
“You sure it’s here?” It’s been 15 minutes and I’ve been scrambling through the ball pits to find a car toy for the kid. My knees were about to go numb. “Oh unnie!” I turned around, sweat dripping through my forehead, it was a hot day already and going through thousands of plastic balls did not help. “Yes?” I replied. “It was in my pocket the whole time!” My a small smile formed, “Was it now huh?” I teased him, standing back up as I told myself he’s just a kid. “I’m really sorry for bothering you…” My smile faded as the little boy looked down. “Hey it’s alright! I can be kind of careless with my stuff too. No biggie!” I send a reassuring smile to the kid, hoping it was able to make him feel less guilty.
An hour later I closed up the shop and started my way to the race track. “Ajussi, mind turning the power on?” “Isn’t it past your bed time?” “Just turn the power on.” I laughed. Ending the day by going on the race track was always something I looked forward to. Putting on my gear I signaled the ready sign and waited for the track to be complete. As I close my eyes I felt the breeze of the wind. Gripping onto my steering wheel.
As soon as the gun went off I let go of everything and drive.
-
“Aigoo, look how skinny you are now. Here I bought some jjajangmyeon. Let’s eat” “You’re my favorite ajussi!” I giggled as I wiped the sweat off of my face. “So, how’s the investigation? Have they found her yet?” I sighed, disapointment plastered all over my face. “No, they say it’s gonna be harder since the last time I was with her she was still a baby.. But I’m sure they’ll find her someday.” As I chew the noodles in my mouth all the negative feelings start coming back, and without knowing tears start to build up in my eyes. “Hey, hey,” I look up at the old man, feeling his hand cover my own, “They’ll find her.” he reassured with a smile. I look at him without saying anything, my eyes still teary. I smile. It was great having someone to still lean onto. Someone I could still find positivity from during dark times.
Money was growing tighter, my fairytale of a life was taken away from me, I didn’t have any hope for life at some point. I remember walking up to the bridge to jump. I was so tired. So tired of how everything was being taken away from me one at a time. Until this Old Man caught me. The way he stood by me no matter what. Gave me a place to live, fed me, and took care of me. Coincidentally he was an owner of a race track, however it wasn’t being used so as soon as I came in it was mine to borrow.
Looking at the old man as he continued eating I smile, “Ajussi,” he looked up, “thank you.” “Aigoo just eat your noodles.” I laugh, and the world grew quieter.
CHOI SU BONG
“Ya, Choi Su Bong!”
Fuck this bitch is killing me. As I stepped out of the apartment my head was aching. Alcohol was still in my system and I wasn’t entirely sobered up yet. “Ya! Choi Su Bong!” “What? Can’t you see I’m trying to go home?” “You still owe me 3 more sessions! What makes you think you can just run away after fucking me without aftercare huh?!” I lit the cigarette in my palms, taking a big huff as my whole head felt like it was gonna explode. “I’ll come by next week.” and with that I was finally left alone.
The truth is I didn’t wanna do sex work. It was the last option in my list. However, after that fucking crypto scam my whole world fell apart. Things were going great at first, my career was sky rocketing, hit after hit released in my rap albums. I felt like I was on top of the world. Until the crypto shit started.. When I lost all my life savings I was done for. I couldn’t afford rent, couldn’t make anymore music, I was in the dumps. Till a friend told me about sex work. I’ll be honest at first I was intrigued, my dumbass totally thought I could actually earn shit by making some girls cum. Turns out I was wrong, I’m stuck with debt and annoying girls trying to pull on my dick.
As I kept walking trying to find my way back to the motel I was staying at my phone started ringing. “The fuck..” Checking my phone I realized it was mom. “Shit.” My hands started shaking, the last time I talked with my parents (especially my father) was when I got kicked out of the house after they found out I wanted to pursue a career of rap and music. I let out a sigh before picking up the phone call, “Hello?” Complete silence. “Su Bonga..” The voice of my mom came out, and all of a sudden I felt tears pool in. “How’ve you been? You doing okay? Sorry for calling so late, your father’s out of town and I was wondering how you were..” “I’m comfortable mom, no need to worry..” I slipped out a lie. Lie number 1. “Ah I see.. Hows Jimin? Is she still having trouble sleeping?” My mind was racing at this point, her name started ringing in my ears. “Yea she’s doing better, I try to help her out sometimes and I just bought her some medication.” Lie number 2.
“Okay well.. I see you’re doing well. That makes me relieved, please tell Jimin I said hello… Goodnight Su Bong.” “Night mom.. I lo-“ and with that the phone ended.
At this point I was lying to everyone I loved. Lying to myself was also part of the deal.
END OF CHAPTER 1
#Spotify#fanfic#squid game#choi su bong#thanos#thanos x reader#choi su bong x reader#oc x canon#angst#kpop smut#light smut
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someday
Daryl x reader, reader POV, witchy!reader, crystals
Summery: reader has a crystal necklace and a belief in the power of the shiny rocks. Daryl has an interest in reader and a mouth that sometimes gets him in trouble.
Atlanta quarry era
“Any rocks can protect if ya throw ‘em hard enough.”
“Whatcha always do that for?”
I blinked, coming back to earth abruptly to find myself twisting the chain of my necklace between my fingers. I stopped, heat flooding up my cheeks, and shrugged. “Habit, I guess. Didn’t realize I was.”
Daryl’s brow was furrowed, a small wrinkle as he stared down at me. I shifted under the intensity of his eyes, like I always did, and hoped he’d stop staring soon. I reached back up, fiddling again automatically, before shoving it impatiently under my shirt and staring down at my hands.
“What’s it about?”
“Huh?”
Articulate. Great. Fantastic job, I informed myself snidely. Oh well.
“The book. Seemed into it.”
Why was he talking to me? I wondered, a little desperately. He’d ignored everyone since he arrived at the quarry. Everyone except his asshole brother, that was, and spent most of his time in the woods killing things- not that I wasn’t grateful to be eating- and now he was…. Chatting?
“Oh. Um. It’s Dale’s,” I admitted, somewhat lamely. “Some thriller. Already figured out the killer.”
He scoffed, hint of a smile on his lips. “Ain’t a zombie, right?”
That got a laugh from me, and he cracked a bigger smile back. Then he jerked his chin toward the necklace I was somehow spinning again, despite not knowing I’d reached for it. “What’s them stones? Pretty. Just weird shapes.”
I grimaced. This was the part where he, like everyone else, would decide I was crazy. “They’re… crystals?”
“Say that like it’s a question,” he said mildly.
He was right; I had. Damn it. Before the dead started rising- a sure fire indication that magic or some equivalent was real, thank you very much- I’d been vocal about my beliefs. Now… it seemed unimportant in the face of survival. People looked at me more strangely now than they ever had before all this.
But I still believed, now more than ever, and I hated the hesitation in my voice.
“They’re crystals,” I repeated, firmly and confidently. “I believe certain stones have innate abilities to protect, to heal, to boost energy, etc, and- what?”
I broke off at his mutter, eyebrows raising when color flooded his cheeks this time.
“Sorry,” he muttered. “I said, ‘any rocks can protect if ya throw ‘em hard enough’.”
I burst into laughter, harder and more genuine than any I’d done since the world ended. When I got myself under control, he was studying me again, those eyes more fierce a blue than the sapphire in the evil eye bracelet that had broken when I’d fought my way out of Atlanta.
“Like that. Ya laugh. Should do it more.” He gestured at my neck again when I blinked, shocked silent. “Them crystals. What’r they for?”
“Protection,” I managed, holding up the black obsidian before switching to the rose quartz, “and attracting love.”
I wasn’t thinking about my words, too focused on his casual assertion that I should laugh more. When they’d left my lips, I wished for a minute the ground would swallow me whole. Why hadn’t I just said “self-confidence”? It was equally valid, and far less embarrassing, and-
“Huh,” Daryl grunted. “They work?”
I shrugged. “Ain’t dead yet.”
“Fair enough. How ‘bout the love one?”
I looked away, rather deliberately opening the book in my lap so my cheeks wouldn’t flame again. “Don’t know. I’ll let you know someday, I guess.”
“Yeah,” he said quietly. “Someday.”
#writing#fanfic#author#ao3 writer#daryl fanfiction#daryl/reader#daryl dixon#daryl dixon x reader#witchy reader#crystals#the walking dead#walking dead fanfic#Daryl with a crush is adorable#reader is self-conscious and sarcastic#Meg James#MegJamesWrites#JustRamblinOn#tumblr writing#tumblr fanfic
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I hope all transwomen get $10,000 today and also see a cute bird or maybe a cool bug of some kind
#ra speaks#lgbt#trans#transgender#transwomen#transfemmes#you exist because you belong and you belong because you exist.#sisters of every shape and size and color and ability and outness: I love you. you exist because you belong here and now in this world.#and as scary as it is sometimes I know things will get better because you are loved and you belong.#you do not deserve the hate of others for existing nor the fear and pain you are feeling now.#and I hope someday soon you can live out the long and well loved life of good food and good friends and joy and safety that you deserve
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pinching her cheeks
#pigeon screens#Odette Hollows#someday soon I'll have more of a brain to do something other than just shoulders up bust#but i love her muchly and she's looking like her old self!!!!!!!!!!!!#thank you to ris and hazel for your help with teeth weeps#i tried playing with the mouth bones for the first time and woof#this is just a modified /biggrin (my fav) but I like how it came out !!#Hyur#middie#(She also has a new version of her stretch marks and I'm gonna try my hand at making my own)#(I don't have a brain for gposing rn but I AM also putting together Selenite and will get some MCDFs of her for s9 friends if they want)#(Prudence is gonna take a lil' longer because her make up is totally trashed and I need her lil' nose blush.)#(BUT I think I can make something work with the BYOM kit)#(anyway I'll get outta the tags now)(loveyoubye)
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Pondering bottom surgery in the tags I mf guess
#I’ve been. thinking abt bottom surgery again after having accepted for a while that I would probably never get it#for context early on in my transition I was dead set on phallo but then T and my other surgeries satisfied me enough to not need it#+ for phallo I would have had to keep an arm or leg free of tattoos and I just did not want to wait on that#not considering it would probably be at least a decade. tattoos were and are more important#+ the more I started to enjoy using what I have I was like. it is simply not medically necessary anymore#like would I like to have a **** yes. do I need one to live a happy life no#being bi complicates things for me too bc it depends a little bit who I marry#don’t want to tailor my body to a specific relationship esp if it doesn’t last forever but it does make a difference#current partner is nonbinary and wants phallo so that does not make things simpler lol#I want a body that allows the most affirming possible relationship w the person I intend to marry#I also don’t want to end up hindering things w future partners should that not happen#anyway I say all this to say. I had never considered meta as an option bc I didn’t think it would do much for me#lot of effort and money and healing for not as drastic a change. wouldn’t solve my biggest bottom dysphoria issues#however. starting to think it could be the middle ground I’m looking for as a gnc/genderfluid person#it would be less surgeries. less complicated n expensive. less changes to my current anatomy#esp if I don’t do everything you Can do w meta. I could do like half of all that or less#I don’t wanna risk giving up the things I can do now without knowing if I’ll enjoy the new possibilities#but this could be a way to just kinda feel more affirmed without it changing my life all that much#I think just the act of undergoing bottom surgery would be affirming. like I’ve done Everything I’m a binary male thru and thru. transexual#and I wouldn’t have to keep wondering if I’ll do it someday or if I should#not that I can any time soon I’m uninsured. insurance prob wouldn’t even cover it#but just. the more I look into it and think abt it + the more serious my relationship gets the more I lean towards it#my partner talking increasingly abt wanting bottom surgery asap is influencing me too ngl not even in a jealousy way#just. I can’t deal w the possibility of a partners phallo fucking up my relationship w my body Again. I would need to know what I want#man. I can’t even go to therapy to talk thru it. on account of being uninsured#mine#txt#personal
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Gencon is very busy...!!!
Ummmmm highlights of the day..!!!
I maybe bought 4 Naruto figurines. Thankfully not individually expensive (though perhaps a little expensive all together...) see I wanted Sasuke but I also wanted Kakashi and I couldn't have Sasuke without Naruto and well it would feel wrong to have the 3 of them without Sakura and so I somehow. Got all 4. Haha. I'll most likely post pics later, whenever I end up opening them. I'm still at the convention center rn lol
(Putting the rest of this under a cut bc it got a little long lol)
I was on the field of the Lucas Oil Stadium, aka the stadium that the Indianapolis Colts play at. I've attended all of One game here (not professional football, it was a high school game lol) so I've felt the size of it, but it's still fucking crazy being on the field. It's so BIG...... and obviously they've got the grass covered rn, but it's still pretty cool!!!
I maaaade dice!!! Pretty precise process it seems, & definitely would require a Lot of work (after the sanding and the painting etc etc). I do still wanna get into it, but if I wanted to spring for stuff like the vacuum chamber or the pressure pot...
Yeah, it'd get expensive. Add in the fact that I don't have a good place to do this away from the cats & it really is not feasible to start rn. But!!! Eventually!!!! I think I'd really enjoy it. I just need a dedicated workshop space where I can spread out without worrying about poisoning my cats lol.
Here's some cool game set stuff I saw in the event hall. This picture is maybe... hm... a fourth of the event hall? And then when you consider that the vender hall (connected to the event hall, though it's closed right now) is maybe 1.5 times as big as the event hall?? Give or take a little...
Aka just imagine booths upon booths upon booths... I'm gonna have to take a pic of it tomorrow. I was there too briefly to think about taking a pic. Honestly I maybe managed to get through like a tenth of the whole vender hall in an hour of wandering. It's fucking huge. And So Many Dice... I bought one set of 14 (I think it was) dice. Aka an extended set. And then I got a random set bag of dice (just a basic 7). And then a d20 with a cat on it. And a dice of LETTERS. Aka I guess a d26 (I totally did not have to double check that there were 26 letters in the alphabet)(I have 702k words written & posted to ao3)(😂😂😂 I'm very tired) but with letters instead of numbers. And it's glow in the dark!!! And I found some hxh buttons, and a mighty nein poster, and uhmmmm. A cute lanyard. And that's all I bought. Which really is such restraint for me. (Omfg I just saw a dragon cosplay)(someone just dressed as a dragon)
OH YEAH I saw a fucking. Persona 5 Ryuji cosplay. Hanging out with the biker lady from Durarara. Featuring the Ryuji holding her scythe hfksbfmd which was such a funny image. I was too shy to ask for a pic but just trust 🙏 i saw this
Anyways yeah the only real big thing I bought is the naruto figurines. I'll show pics later once I got the stuff again (I dropped it all off in the car earlier)
Omfg literally as I've been sitting here (on a bench at the side of a main hallway) someone stopped by and gave me a handmade bracelet !!!
DND's 50th anniversary!!! So cute!!!!
#speculation nation#not Too much anime stuff. tho i clearly found some stuff. no trigun yet unfortunately 😔#which i already walked thru the artist area (as much as i could)(i was getting a little stressed by how crowded it was)#so idk maybe i missed a booth or smth but it'd definitely be less likely to see elsewhere in the vender's hall#but WHO KNOWS it's a wonderful massive world in there.#im actually sitting outside it rn and staring longingly at the closed doors. tomorrow... i will be able to Actually peruse it more...#and i will quite possibly wear some ear plugs next time bcus i was getting Stressed Out!!! overstimulated!!!!#pulled in a million different directions!!!!! aaaaaaa!!!!#anyways yeah my events are all done for the night. just kinda hanging out now waiting for my sister's game to be done.#gonna collapse into bed as soon as we get back. so i should probably eat some more.#i had an overpriced and underwhelming sandwich. but there is pizza somewhere. maybe i should eat pizza.#i actually... still have the keys lol. from when i dropped the stuff off at the car earlier.#which is weird. I have the ticket to home with me. but i still wait. bc it would be a dick move to leave with them lol#and also. while i Can drive. i do not have my license. so that would be. a bad. idea.#my shoulders Huuuuurt but thankfully i dont have any combat classes tomorrow#hurting shoulders is more just from my bag bc my shoulders fucking suck. but it makes me glad i can rest more tomorrow.#oh yeah i did the sword knife and longsword today. might get bruises from that knife one. it was very focused on parrying#swords. swords. swords. swords. the longsword class made me really want to own a longsword. i dont own one. yet.#i could. i could. i could. sometime. eventually. i want a longsword. i think i technically just own uhmmm um um#a rapier? a machete? a uh. i dont know what that cheap anime convention sword is actually. OH YEA AND CANE SWORD#no longsword though. i really want to own a katana too. someday i'll own both. someday.#real swords are unfortunatelly really expensive. thats why i only have uh. uh. uhhh. oh yeah i do have those 2 swords from mountains trip#i dont really know what those are either. you know i really should know what bladed weapons i own. i dont though.#i own cool swords and knives bc oooh fun pointy things! wheeeeee!!!#i'll study up on it later. lol.#anyways i guess i should go look for more food. i have rambled enough. bye!
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have you ever been in love?
Honestly, I don’t think so? Or at least not in the like… deep romantic sense? I’ve been single most of my life, and I’ve only dated one guy (and I turned out to be incredibly lesbian so)
That being said!!! I love the people I have chosen to have in my life very deeply. I have no qualms with expressing love about people in my life. The one boyfriend I ever had I told him I loved him like a month in (and then I broke up with him over text to avoid meeting his family but that’s a different story — I was young and stupid 🤭) and while I certainly wasn’t actually in genuine love with him, I have no regrets about saying that and I wouldn’t take it back. I’ve fallen for people and my heart gets very invested because I have a tendency to fall hard, but I don’t know that I would go as far as to say I was in love with any of them 🤔 and if I was I don’t think I’d ever admit that to myself unless I knew they reciprocated and that isn’t happening anytime soon 😂
This sounds like a depressing answer but it’s not I promise I am happy I have SO much love in my heart and in my life and I share it with my friends and family and the people around me every chance I get like if you become my friend it’ll be like max 3 weeks before I start dropping I love you’s in the chat. and guess what. I mean it 😤
#long winded way to say I refuse to admit I’ve fallen in love unless they love me back and that’s never happened so no :)#I’m just a silly little guy bouncing around from day to day idk#I love my friends I love my family#someday I will have a girlfriend and wife whom I love very dearly and who loves me in return#but that is not this second and that’s okay!!!#this is one of the first times in my life that I have had the mental and physical capacity to extend that sort of love beyond friendship#I was too busy with my mental disorders when I was young and then in college I became disabled and almost died and I had to focus on me for#a long time#why didn’t I include that up there#anyways#I had to learn who I was after almost dying and get to a point in my life where I was doing more than surviving day to day#and it’s only very recent that I feel I have achieved that#so now that I can do that? watch out world. as soon as a hot girl falls in love with me it’s OVER for you bitches#ask#asks#ask game#sweetlikesunflowersandhoney
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Tainted batch (Patreon)
#Doodles#Just Desserts#Villainsona#Fine nevermind >:(#It's so weird to be posting vent-adjacent stuff while I'm doing so well currently haha#I started this months ago and have significantly improved my mood since then pfft ♪ I'd hope!#There wasn't anything specific at the time anyway just a thought circling around that I figured Charm would be more affected by#Considering most things for her are heightened in comparison haha <3 She'll get therapy someday#She also deals a lot in sublimation through art! And sometimes that means literally taking the materials and using them elsewhere#Honestly it's pretty cool that she can reconstitute her art :0 Drawing is a little different haha#I hadn't realized it'd been as long as it's been since I last drew Cirrus :0#Oh yeah Cherry Shortcake actually has a first name now lol#A few residents do! If you remember my mention of Aria from a while back - Marshmallow Fluff - I think those are the current three?#Still haven't really pinned down a naming convention haha...I've been thinking about three-letter last names for what feels like forever now#She was also an early contender for Digitally Rendered Resident huh... I could at least stand to name the others that have gotten that lol#So many things I wanna do with her - really want to finish her Biased Narrator fic sometime just dunno how to end it hrmngh#Anyway lol she gets a one-panel cameo and takes over the post pft no! Charm time!#Evil Time Charm time - kicked up her pulse as soon as she remembered#She kinda sorta remembers what happened but more than that remembers the Emotions - feeling Laughed At#And clearly it's [this specific thing]'s fault that she feels foolish! Avoid [this specific thing] and never feel foolish again Guaranteed!*#*Not actually even remotely close to a guarantee lol instead she's just avoiding something that at one point made her feel good#So easy to turn a positive memory into a negative one with just a change of framing huh?#I can't think of anyone in her life who would exploit that fun little feature in her outlook not even one!
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brings you to the lavender farm¹ that the bear² is from and takes you through the fields looking at all the different types of lavender before having some lunch at the farm cafe and getting you some lavender ice cream to try out (i'm sure you're interested by the sound of it and yes it is pretty good^^) and then takes you to the gift shop for you to look through at anything else you might like so i can get it for you:> and just has a lovely day together:3
1. https://lyndochlavenderfarm.com.au/
2. https://lyndochlavenderfarm.com.au/products/lavender-bear?_pos=1&_sid=90127ddf4&_ss=r
uhm, yeah <3
:O a fun outing!!!!! there are so many cool different types of lavender i never knew... and not all of them are purple! i only thought lavender came in. well. lavender so seeing different colors is really cool...i especially like the hidcote pink and munstead, very pretty! i am running through the fields and picking flowers if they would let me pick flowers if they don't i am admiring their beauty without taking anything ^^ you're right actually i would love to try lavender ice cream! and i also wanna try lavender honey and lavender jam, they sound very floral and sweet, very nice c: i should find some for myself soon in like a farmers market or something i wanna try it irl... hmmm....from the gift shop i would like the lavender body mists, incense, lip balm, & bath salts. ok maybe not the bath salts actually ^^' i don't trust myself not to eat them. vietnam flashbacks. and also the lavender sleep pillow for the same reason i'd like the plushie (seems cuddly and would help me sleep) and finally maybe some lavender seeds so i could grow my own lavender! thank you for taking me this day was so fun, at the end of the day i reveal i have taken some lavender flowers and weaved them into a flower crown for you and i put it on your head. i love you. i also took the plushie and she had so much fun, here are two pictures i drew of her enjoying the day out ^^
she is laying in the grass and also sitting next to lavender flowers because i couldn't decide which drawing i liked better. ignore the way her palms are open magnanimously like jesus christ or jerry seinfeld i wanted to show her beans. also ignore the way her nose is white in the grass drawing i forgot to color it in. just imagine she ate a powdered donut filled with lavender jelly, okay? thank you again, this was really fun! bye bye 💖💖💖
#the thought of this made me very happy ^^ what if life could be dream...#only thing is i can't actually get the bear plushie because they don't ship to the us. hell world.#anyway i have been trying to learn how to draw lately!#it's slow going because between family and friends and college and other hobbies (like chess and baking and gardening) and The Horrors#i don't have a lot of time to practice#so i'm not very good yet but that's okay because i'm having fun and i'm allowed to be bad at things#so far i can draw.#BUNNY! KITTY! SHEEPY!#THE FACE (AND NOTHING ELSE! JUST THE FACE!) OF A MELANCHOLY WOMAN WITH HEAVILY LIDDED EYES#AND WINGED EYELINER AND LIPSTICK AND BRAIDS!#TEDDY BEAR! CREEPY SMILE! BREASTS! and that's it ^^#i want to try my hand at fanart someday maybe...#for now i've set a goal that i need to get better at drawing bodies and hands and generally conveying motion.#like looking to the side and different poses. and HAND POSES ugh i'm so bad at hand poses.#i do most of my work on pencil and paper but i should get some kinda drawing app soon...#only thing is i don't have a tablet and i know in my heart i cannot draw with a mouse on a computer. i just Can't.#i mean i guess i DO have a laptop but it doesn't have a touch screen...#so digital is kinda off the table for now unless i'm drawing with my phone (like the teddy bear drawing)#i'm rambling. ok so thank you!! the mental image of this was very pleasing to me.#you're very nice. have a nice day!!! you deserve it. bye bye <3#fortunes told (asks)
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Despite my back pain lately, I've managed to doodle a couple more Ghostalia character sheets! This time for Matthew and Antonio. When I'm able to actually sit down at my desk again I'll finish these digitally but for now, this is what I've got 😅
Matthew:
He's in Humphrey's role, meaning he's a Tudor nobleman living in his family estate with his arranged French wife who hates being there. I wanted him to still somehow be from Canada despite the nation of Canada not actually existing yet. Therefore I researched a bit and found that Newfoundland was being explored by the British (or at least, the Italian John Cabot went there under the order of King Henry VII) in the late 1400s, so I thought I'd go along with that. Having his parents settle in Newfoundland for the first few years of his life before coming back to England to inherit the estate.
He was still forced to marry Adélie (Monaco - in Sophie's role), but since everything is set roughly 40 years earlier than BBC Ghosts canon, the catholic plot didn't exist and, indeed, Elizabeth I wasn't even queen yet (but on a plus note, massive ruffs weren't quite in fashion yet, so I don't have to draw any heheh). Through a little bit more research, I discovered that Henry VIII declared war on France in 1544, which matches up more or less with my timeline. Adélie plotted against him for going to war with her country and this is what got Matthew killed in the same manner as Humphrey.
Originally, I was going to have him be unable to read because his body had his eyeglasses, but then I discovered that there were glasses in Tudor times that would pinch your nose in order to stay on your face without having to hold them up (I can't even imagine how uncomfortable that would be to wear for any reasonable amount of time 😭), so I thought he could have those instead.
Antonio:
He's in Pat's role, and I didn't really need to change all that much about him. I think Toni is the perfect person to be a scout leader so he just slots in really nicely! It's the 80's so I gave him a mullet (obviously). I was umming and ahhing about keeping Pat's moustache on him, and I've decided I think he suits it, as well as the aviators.
He was born and bred in Barcelona, and met Bella (Belgium - in Carol's role) when she was holidaying there in the mid-70s. He and his best mate Tiago (Portugal - in Morris' role) were at a disco/dance hall and met Bella and her friends; a holiday romance ensued. Which may have accidentally ended up with Bella pregnant with Toni's baby (oopsies). Antonio felt that this was a blessing in disguise (ever the optimist) and he proposed to her not long after she told him she was pregnant. Antonio ended up moving to England to be with her. Tiago would visit regularly, as well as them visiting him, but he ended up moving to England too a few years later.
Antonio was already a scout leader in Spain, so when he moved to England he naturally fell into place in the English scouting troupes. He's always been great with kids which was something Bella admired about him. Unfortunately, he died when his own son Marc (Luxembourg - in Daley's role) was only 8 years old.
#you can probably tell my back is affecting my art bc of how Shitty some of these doodles are bxjsjs#but im trying not to tell myself off for that 😅#bbc ghosts#hetalia#aph#hws#ghostalia au#hws spain#hws canada#antonio fernandez carriedo#matthew williams#yes toni is doing the macarena and yes i KNOW thats a 90s thing but DO I CARE#the answer is yes but also i thought it was funny anyway 😭#my need for things to be historically accurate will be the death of me someday 😭#anyway i thought at least a couple of these doodles were cute enough to warrant posting them now#since idk when ill be able to use my computer again yet#hopfully soon - this bout of pain is slowly getting better but it still hurts a lot in certain positions#those positions beong hunched over a drawing tablet in a seat that has 0 back support bsbsjjs
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going through answered asks from when i was 18 wanting to hold myself so tightly
#i’ve never cared for the whole i wish i could see my younger self thing#because from where i was standing it was always still bad so thought why would i want to see them now#things are going to become very hard again very soon but last year was the best year of my entire life#i did something terrifying and then i claimed my life as my own#and a year later i have a car! and im driving! you can’t understand how impossible of a thought this was to me before#i live on my own and i’ve decorated my body and my bedroom and i can buy things i never thought id be able to own#i miss connecting with others my dash is a total wasteland now but i just#seriously cannot believe where i am right now. even though some things are still so screwed up and more screwed things are on the way#and i’m terrified of course. january is the perfect month to feel like ending it all. too much unknown#but still 2023 felt like magic i didn’t deserve and yet i basked in it#i’m not incredibly successful i’m not very interesting but im still so proud of myself somehow. even though i hate myself#it’s not as much as i used to. i appreciate myself more now and i can see how i needed me to get here. and im grateful for me#and for everything i have. i’m just speechless i can’t believe the life i currently have#i’m waiting to enter the era of travelling and intimate get together those areas are still slow coming#but if i could do this i can only hope and hope and squeeze my eyes tight to make them appear someday#i miss so many things but i don’t miss the old me. she sucked but she also cared and she’s still here in fragments#it’s strange to write this way i’ve never felt this sort of compassion before i was so so deeply depressed#it was inescapable and for good reason i don’t know how i made it through anything i’ve endured#i have to thank myself for always being too scared to die
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Also re: my little cousins I gave a bunch of my old comic books to I feel it's only fair that they have my old Spider-Man and Wolverine books since I have a bunch of their grandmother's poetry books from the 50s-60s. It's a circle of life thing.
#if they want their grandmothers poetry books someday i have no problem giving them up for the record#edie gave them to me because when she realized i would actually appreciate them she was like 'well SOMEONE finally would'#her daughters aren't interested in her book collection and her grandsons... well the oldest was like 11 at that time#he's gonna be 16 in march. that's old enough to develop a taste for poetry now i suppose#edie also said she was bequeathing her library to me in her will which is almost like. a mammoth honor yknow#you know god forbid i actually come into possession of that soon though#if they do develop more sophisticated tastes someday id be happy to pass them all sorts of other books#but i have to be fully honest with you. i already think it's just the coolest they can read my old marvel collection#they can't get that from auntie edie. although if you were wondering#she's both my modernist poetry aunt and my vintage barbie aunt. that's the same great aunt#tales from diana#im the marvel second cousin and the barbie second cousin and the shakespeare second cousin and the playing card collection second cousin.#i wear many hats
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#genuinely not sure where to go . who to ask. do you just drive to cemeteries and ask for their directory. do they have those.#not at a point where i can ask my mother. have not heard his name from her mouth since july. not sure i could stomach hearing it now.#ive read the obituary again. all it says is the service address. private internment. the church is too small for him to be there.#reading a wikihow on how to find people graves. if it wasnt so sad it would almost be funny. he would probably laugh.#going home soon. the light is never on in his old room. the path between our houses is overgrown.#two winters ago i used the front sidewalk to shovel snow from the path. they had already moved. i didnt go inside. i remember it anyway.#hard to go through summer when i will hear his name for an entire month. funny that i was born that month but it was your name.#there isnt a guide on grieving for your childhood best friend but i wish i had gotten something. no one ever talks so why would it change.#so rare we were all at dinner that night. sister couldnt reschedule her sat. missed the funeral. no one told me until the night before#classmates from ccd. didnt expect it. so rare to see boys cry. my first funeral. i didnt bring any tissues. no one told me to. how would i.#wish i had been there again. sitting in your kitchen swinging outside and in the basement. making potions. camping in the drive. sledding.#drafted a tag about going on swings with you again someday. realized it read verbatim my memorial for you. you have to come down.#when i get home ill find your stone wherever it is. ill leave you some coke and mentos. save me a seat for now.#long post#going to bed now. good night.#lee's bullshit
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words you couldn't hear — satoru gojo
satoru's been hopelessly in love with you for years, but can only confess when you can't hear him. but someday—maybe someday soon—he'll tell you for real.
"How do these look?" you ask, slipping on a pair of noise-canceling headphones and striking a pose. "Be honest."
Satoru, who's been trailing behind you in the electronics store for the past hour without complaining like the best friend he's always been, looks up from the speaker he's been fiddling with. "You look good in anything."
"No, for real." You turn to check your reflection in a nearby screen. "Do they make my head look bigger? I feel like they make my head look bigger."
He snorts, reaching over to adjust the headband. His fingers brush against your temple, and you try not to think about how many times those same hands have absentmindedly played with your hair during movie nights, or how he still unconsciously reaches for you whenever he laughs too hard, just like he did when you were kids.
"That's what you're concerned about? The size of your head?"
"It's a valid concern."
"Your head is perfectly normal-sized," he assures you, his fingers lingering perhaps a moment too long as he fixes the fit. "Though I suppose all that overthinking has to go somewhere—"
You shoot him a look, but there's no heat behind it. Fifteen years of friendship has made you immune to his teasing — well, mostly immune.
You're not quite immune to the way your pulse quickens when he's standing this close, or how he still smells like that same cologne he's worn since high school, the one you helped him pick out for his first date with someone else while ignoring the weird ache in your chest.
"I really need good ones for studying," you say, checking the price tag. "My roommate talks way too much."
Satoru winces at the price. "Expensive. But they're supposedly the best."
"Worth every penny if they can block out her ramblings." You adjust the fit, immediately noticing how they muffle the noise of the shop. "Oh wow, these are actually incredible. Say something so I can test them properly."
"What should I say?"
You arch an eyebrow at him. "Anything. Just need to check if they work."
His expression shifts then, melting into something tender as his lips move. Even though you can't hear the words, something about the gentle way he's looking at you makes your heart flutter strangely in your chest.
"These are perfect!" you say, pulling them off, trying to ignore the way your pulse has picked up. "I couldn't hear you at all. What did you say?"
Satoru leans against the display counter, chin propped in his hand as he watches you fiddle with the headphone cord, a fond smile playing at his lips. "Nothing really," he murmurs, but there's something soft in his expression, something unguarded that makes your heart skip.
You pause, catching the way he's looking at you — like you're something precious, something more than just his best friend of fifteen years. "Satoru?" you say softly.
He seems to catch himself then, straightening abruptly as a flush creeps up his neck. "Ah, yes. Should we, uh." His voice comes out slightly strangled. "Should we get these paid for? Before they close?"
"The store closes in two hours."
"Better safe than sorry." He's already heading for the checkout, nearly tripping over his own feet in his haste.
What you don't know — what you couldn't hear through those noise-canceling headphones — were three words he's been trying to say for years. Three words that slipped out so easily when he knew you couldn't hear them, when the safety of silence gave him the courage he's never had before.
"I love you."
Simple. Honest. Everything he's wanted to tell you since he was seventeen and realized his best friend was the love of his life. Everything he's been too afraid to say, too afraid to risk losing you.
But for now, those words remain caught in the space between silence and sound, in the safety of a moment you couldn't hear. Maybe one day he'll find the courage to say them again, when you can actually hear him.
Maybe one day soon.
© lostfracturess. do not repost, translate, or copy my work.
#jjk x reader#jjk x y/n#jjk x you#jjk headcanons#jujutsu kaisen x you#jujutsu kaisen x reader#jujutsu kaisen#gojo x you#gojo satoru x you#gojo x reader#jjk fluff#gojo satoru x y/n#gojo satoru x reader#gojo x y/n#gojo fluff#jujutsu kaisen fluff#gojo headcanons#soft satoru gojo#satoru gojo fluff
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We might be Forced to evacuate to for the 7th time!
We're leaving for the seventh time .. For the seventh time .. I'll have to convince a three year old and a one year old that we have to leave again, and what resembles a home we tried our best to provide to protect their childhood and make them toys and a swing in a tent they'll have to leave agian ! We spent almost all our savings and money on basic nessesities .. Now we worry about even transportation costs. Please help us survive this madness. PLEASE Donate and share Forever Indebted to All of you ! Verified by @el-shab-hussein Here
This has been Rokayah in eid and the other was her thank you letter she wrote you all 💖 We'll be leaving all of this behind
I am Firas Salem, a Software Engineer from Gaza and a father of two young children, almost 3 and 1. I would give my family the stars in the sky if they asked me to and I worked so hard so I can provide them with a happy life. I am the sole provider for my parents and younger siblings, making us a family of 11.
. We are living in extremely difficult conditions in Gaza, barely surviving in a cramped tent and mostly we'll be evacuating soon. . We urgently need to get out, and our only option is to reach Egypt, which costs $5,000 per person.
. Your donations can help us escape and cover essential life and medical expenses here in Gaza and in Egypt until we can start over. Please consider supporting us during this critical time. Thank you.
Please Please Help Share and Donate It's been a while ,I feel things changed here,please help me share this post . Thanks alot my friends I hope someday I can thank each one of you ! And I hope one day I can pay it forward !
Vetted or added to lists Here: #111 @el-shab-hussein list Here - #4 @fallahifag list Here @blackpearlblast list Here - @communistchilchuck list Here #1 @riding-with-the-wild-hunt list Here @palestinecharitycommissionsassoc list Here @kordeliiius list Here ___________________________________________ @ibtisams Here ,@fairuzfan Here , @palipu Here , @brutaliakhoa Here
#gaza genocide#gaza#all eyes on gaza#free gaza#gaza strip#gazaunderattack#gazaunderfire#rafah#go fund them#gaza solidarity encampment#gaza under siege#help gaza#news on gaza#north gaza#rafah gaza#stand with gaza#war on gaza#fuck israel#save gaza#palestine genocide#free rafah#free palestine#all eyes on rafah#mutual aid#aid for gaza#mobility aid#palestine aid#humanitarian aid#donation post#fundraising
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