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I've been noticing people seem to think Dean being more aggressive towards Jack right after he was born and right after he killed Mary means that Lucifer was right, Dean really actually does hate Jack and want him dead, he's actually just excited to be free of the burden of Jack Being Alive and doesn't care at all??
(And his aggression right after Jack was born I feel has been discussed and makes intuitive sense in the narrative. Including, which people seem to miss for obvious reasons, that plotline being a really obvious application of the ancient traditional arc in human stories since time immemorial: Man, Overwhelmed By Grief, Resents Baby For Its Mother Dying In Childbirth. The mother being Cas in this case, in addition to Kelly but Dean didnt really know Kelly)
But the part after Jack loses his soul and kills Mary - Dean is so, so obviously trying to hold onto his anger because he cares about Jack! So deeply! He loves him so much and that hurts so bad because he KNOWS he's gonna have to kill/hurt/betray him. He's holding onto his anger like a shield to force distance between himself and his love for Jack, because he can't go through with what he has to do to stop him otherwise! He even says this to Sam I think at one point!! He saw what Sam was like soulless, and knows how powerful Jack is, and feels there is truly no other option, and knows that if he lets go of the anger for a second then he won't be able to pick it back up again and do what needs to be done.
I guess it could be easy to think Dean doesn't love Jack if you like. Didn't really pay attention to the show or something. Decided Dean is the rabid, uncaring dog everyone in-show accuses him of being. I guess that could be fun, if you're the type of person who thinks it makes sense to believe everything John and Chuck and Lucifer ever said and completely disregard everything Cas said in 15x18 or whatever :)
no one understaaaandssss (my sexy mutuals understand) LIKE. dean and jack GET each other so deeply. they are the same abt so many things. and when jack is dying everyone else wants to just keep him cooped up in the bunker but dean Understands jack's desire to just. get away and DO stuff and have fun (thinking of early s3 dean who wants to make the most of his last year). and also like, dean gets the importance of feeling like you still have a choice in your life, doing things on your own terms. and so they say peace out to the bunker despite protests from sam and cas and go have a perfect day!! (they Really should've gone on a whole farewell tour road trip but burger and fishing and driver's ed will have to do)
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#yes those are uyai’s tags in the color theory post like. YESSSS#because at the end of the day.. they are still the same person they used to be before they decided to change for the better.#the past doesn’t define u but. its still part of u. u did it regardless. the person of the past is still u.#LORE SPEAKING: they may have created their own color wheel and decided to do and say their own thing that has nothing to do with i#but they were still the naive and brainwashed angels they most likely pretend they dont exist bc they are not them anymore. but they are☝️#at the end of the day it all goes back to the beginning#IRL SPEAKING: they went thru a looooot predebut so they just dont rlly acklowedge (idk how to write that) their past#or their traumas. or their sins. because its fine they are not the same anymore. BUT THEY ARE! they still are#for example kaia thinks shes ok bc her past actions dont define her anymore. mf killed someone ofc her past will weight her down#despite howww bad she pretends that shes not that person anymore bc she is better now#but well! she still is the same person who killed nari! and thats something she has to accept#amaybe she continues having trouble accepting it bc “current me could never do that”. and well she did anyway!#blahblahblah#whatever that means dulce!#anyway. thats why in their color wheel they aren’t really that different fron their initial color#yeah they changed but they are still the same shade because their principal color is still part of them#this is why i really love the whole nostalgia essence in hiraeth bc it goes well with their lore / irl#ur past will always be part of u even if u forget it. even if u barely remember. even if u think that it didnt happen. thats still UR past#and thats why i luv the time loop concept too bc every new era is a new life but everything is still connected to the past eras#because they are still the same silly little angels 🤧🤧🤧🤧🤧🤧 even if they remember or not!#q.
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I just had some violent flashbacks of the peepaw polls. Hit me like a truck
hey bestie did u mean to drag my ass down with you
#i still hold rottmnt near and dear to my heart but my god. that experience was certainly something man. truly a once in a lifetime event#that i do NOT care to repeat my god. i know im in a place of privilege bc i got so far in the tourney but like. some of the fan base was#NOT very friendly to some folks at all and i did not care for it. meaning that any of those people i do NOT fuck with at all it was NOT tha#deep. chill out. i hated what that subsection of the fandom turned into and i hated that i might have participated in it and therefore#enabling it whether intentional or not. i just wanted to have fun.#people were getting Way too comfortable being mean and getting too comfortable putting certain blogs on pedestals which inevitably turned#certain spaces into like. worshiping those poor people who just wanted to run a blog for funny turtles. and i wanted NOTHING of that#i already did my time doing that (being the one to put a blog on a pedestal) and i do not want another fucking repeat of that oh my god it#was so fucking exhausting and a kick to the face when i got left with nothing at the fall out bc im pretty sure i didnt do shit but thats#unrelated so do not ask me about it#MAN THAT WAS BEFORE MY GMA DIED THATS CRAZY#anyway i didnt mean to turn this into a semi vent essay fucking oops#suffice to say i was going through uhhhhhh A Lot before i found and got way too into whatever the fuck im into rn#chiangy answers#anyway. any turtle followers that still look at this blog#lol. that was part of why i silently bowed out of rottmnt so silently
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i think its weird that i have to make this disclaimer but the internet is crazy so wtvr,, anyway,,
if i say i dont like something, that doesnt mean "that thing is bad and nobody should post it.."
i swear literally every time i even mention that i dislike something, people will go "wow does that mean u fucking hate me cuz i post that thing? ur a fucking stupid bitch and all ur opinions r wrong" LIKE ?? er.. no. just because i say i dont like certain characterizations of certain characters (the saiki k fandom is CRAZY about this cuz i can state an opinion on literally any character and a group of people will still go 'well only we're allowed to post our opinions about them because we're always right!1!1!'), or certain ship tropes (mentioned my hatred of toxic yaoi maybe once or twice on here months ago and people STILL get mad at me as if i said toxic yaoi lovers r evil or something), or certain ships, or WHATEVER, does not mean that i HATE the people who are posting them or that i think they shouldnt post them at all, NO, im just posting about my personal tastes on my personal blog and it would be extremely weird and hypocritical if i decided that i was the ONLY person that was allowed to do that,,
i think the only reason people assume that is because there are a lot of other people on here who ARE like that, and a lot of people toe the line between posting that they dont like something and posting that they think everyone who likes that thing is stupid, annoying, and wrong,, so i guess all i can say is, sorry for whatever made you make these assumptions but they arent true about me so plz leave me alone ʘ‿ʘ ur doing the same thing to me that ur accusing me of but i didnt do it in the first place so ur just actively being a dick for no reason
#crazy that the mindset some people on here have is that theyre the only ones allowed to post their opinions#ive repeated this a lot on this blog but i rlly think people forget that the person on the other side of the screen is in fact a person#if ur harassing people and publicly making fun of them then ur just as bad as any real life bully#that shit isnt as funny or harmless as u like to pretend it is#not once have i ever targetted anyone or went on someones blog to harass them over my opinion#yet people think its fine to do the same to me and treat it as if its like. revenge or something#like ? me saying 'i dont like toxic yaoi' is not equivalent to someone going on someone elses page and going 'how tf do u like toxic yaoi'#I DONT CARE !! all ive ever done is sit in my own little bubble and had opinions and that makes people mad#honestly though the people who will publicly talk and post abt it are significantly meaner#and i want to act like im not bothered by it because i know most of them r just angry that someone has a different opinion#and they want all their followers to bandwagon off of them (idk why maybe for validation or whatever-same reasons anyone would bully)#but seriously if u actually do think that something i said was out of line and crossed thise boundaries- just fucking tell me ?#im a person bro. ur solution to disagreeing with me shouldnt be 'lol im gonna post abt this and make everyone harass them'#have a conversation with me dude i dont bite ? if u cant talk to me like a person then just dont fucking say anything wtf#its so cowardly to be like 'well no i didnt wanna say anything to u cuz i didnt wanna be rude.. so instead i publicly made fun of u!'#LIKE WHATTTT STOPPPPP </3333#ok anyway this post wasnt supposed to get THAT serious.#MY POINT IS just be considerate of other people and dont base ur hatred off of assumptions#ur deflecting the blame onto someone else because u dont want to admit that ur just a fucking bully lol#being inconsiderate on here is something ive also been guilty of back when i first joined the fandom and was clueless#but grown ass adults who have been on here way longer r still doing that shit which is crazy#and i cant say anything because they have so much leverage over me and idk if its on purpose or if they dont even realize#ok im putting fandom tags cuz i want people to see this sorry. this is my one post thats actually targetted but its at a lot of people#so if u look at this and think 'hey i do that' pls evaluate urself<3#i mean its also targetted at everyone who does this anonomously so i dont know who it is OKOK IM DONE BYE SORRY HOPE THIS IS UNDERSTANDABLE#watch nobody read this fr#saiki k#tdlosk#the disastrous life of saiki k.#meows post
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somewhere on this blog there is a post that goes something like "what if i just start identifying as nonbinary and don't tell anyone and still go by she/her" and that needs to be marked as the day that pandora's box opened
#ik it's my blog etc etc etc but i do try to not sad post often anymore just bc after a while#it becomes a lot akjdsjkdjk#however. this is also the closest i have to an unfiltered diary. so!#idk man ik (im pretty sure) rapid onset dysphoria is a thing or something but like#edit: the most rudimentary of google searches show that this may or may not actually be what i mean but like. 20% effort went into that#the magnitude of bad i have felt in the past week is kinda wild to me#like ive been feeling stuff softly like that for a while now w/ an increase come september#for like. reasons that ik but also reasons that dont necessarily matter rn#but it's like. less a realization and more so steps of becoming more comfortable/feeling more secure#but in that security i essentially run into a brick wall#like i joke abt whatever post i made years ago but it's like#lowk this feels like what i was worried abt this happening LMAO#like this idea of things kinda actualizing in my mind for me#but the actual capability of what i can do feeling limited#like. i have no clue what transitioning would/could necessarily look like for me#but it's starting to feel very much like: whatever it is won't happen#which ik is like. bad queer mindset 1#and then i am falling to bad queer mindset 2 of like. feeling bad that this took so long#and that i didnt put together stuff. or try more. earlier.#and that i've now like. run out of time. which ik is not true so like.#the self-awareness is here! i'm also just stubborn lmao#and like idk currently i'm just in the hell of not wanting to do the middle stuff#i just want to wake up one morning and be different AKJDFKJFDKJFD#anyways! i swear im not actively trying to spiral like every day this week#just my mental constitution is weak and susceptible to demons. and also anxiety and sadness LMAO#and as me and my roommate say. it's never too early for the guilt spiral.#also the pandora's box technically opened when i was like 15 but.#we put a lid on that and then everything came back worse when i was like. idk 19/20.
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i forgot grunt meant like henchman or whatever for a second i thought they were like yeah leonas bitch ass grunts and growls are partial proof to savanaclaw being an athletic leaning dorm lol
#well they also say that in the game not just the manga jkdlfhsdkl like in azuls union bday card#ace was like oh yeah ok you dont wanna be in savanaclaw cause theyre more athletic oriented right#and azul was like NO IM TALKING ABOUT THE SUN SHUT UP!!! jsdklfhsdklfj#anyway i was on the wiki cuz i was trying to remember what their dorm's trait thing is like according to the mirror but i DONT SEE IT.#i rememeber i get it confused with pomesiores . like i think one of theirs is tenacity . but idr which one LOL#the other is maybe endurance...????#that doesnt sound right. i feel like it was broader than that#WAIT I LIED IT DOES SAY IT AT THE TOP i just. missed that part. it IS tenacity lol#what the fuck was pomefiore then....#oh ya theirs according to the wiki is UNRELENTING EFFORTS which i think i did see sometimes written as like endurance or fortitude or smthn#anyway. savanaclaw and pomefiore's ~core value~ always felt similar to me. but also maybe i just dont know what words mean <3#not in a 'theyre too similar' way like i do think theyre different. i just think it's INCH RESTING when things r like#theyre similar. theres overlap. but theres enough distinction to put them apart#actually them being similar in some regards does feel reinforced by the rook hunt situation like he went from one to the other#and seems to be thriving regardless.... we're onto something here...#hmm what were the others.. i think heartslabyul was strictness...#ok the wiki says severity i think ive seen either eng or a translation that called it strictness lol but severity i feel like is maybe#better word choice.. just a lil... nuances nuances whatever anyway idr the others. actually wait no i know octavinelles is like#benevolence bc azul keeps mentioning it- the wiki says compassion. lol. idk if i just keep remembering close enough or like#remembering fan vs official tls. i think the wiki is doing its own direct tl and not engtwst but moving ON#scarabia is deliberation... ignihyde is diligence... diasomnia is elegance???#why is diasomnia the only one that didnt sound familiar At All LOL i dont REMEMBER THAT ONE#i remembered vaguely what scarabia was bc they make a point of mentioning it in like end of 4 or start of 5?#when they were like yeah we value foresight or w/e in scarabia so jamil hasnt been ousted right away. i like scarabia their#way of showing the different ways deliberation works with like jamil vs how it does in kaliim vs the npcs#like theyre all different ppl but still fit that criteria in their own unique ways.... hell yeah...#anyway yay i got ONE right on the nose [as the wiki has it listed anyway lol] thanks savanaclaw
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Had a dream where I was talking to my older brother* to solve an issue he has by our pool & people kept beating me up and trying to drown me but my older brother just watches and keeps talking
#*i dont have a brother i was pretending to be his little sister which he didnt have#& his younger siblings were in on it & at several points I went and asked them ''Lmaooo how old was i again?? 6????'' in between the yapping#& the several attacks#every time one of those attackers appear some voice from above (/ Was it my brother?? announces the sin they represent???#Like first was pride then envy then whatever & the last was wrath and i remember getting pissed off at this#voice from somewhere then says ''Ah but was it all worth it... Look at the color... it has been dyed red...'' which ig means the pool???#I guess i was Killing them???? Are you saying its my fault I acted in self defense????? i was literally 6??? Im a minor and neurodivergent??#At one point a cop got into our house & asked me & my brother through the window (We were outside) why we had these small miniature glass#cups in our house when they're used for drugs??? And I had to go ''Yea our father use-D to work as a cop but he's no longer with us 😔 Maybe#he got them as a souvenir or something I mean his boss liked giving him stuff back then so'' while my brother was quiet the whole time#At the end it was revealed that That story was a part of a youtube playlist that i initially thought was 1 whole series made by 1 guy#but apparently these videos (Which I experienced in the same sleep session but before we got to this point) werent a series??#It was some random guys playlist theres no continuity#And my brain made a whole outro about it bc it was that big of a plot twist i guess#All those videos had something to do about women suffering. so sorry women. Not sure whos the woman suffering in the last one.#nillas
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#okay random story time i don't know why im narrating this or how i even stumbled upon this memory rn#but i generally do sad vents in the tags and for a change this is a funny one#so back in highschool (i say highschool but i mean junior college) i used to visit this park near my house a lot#i was an sg kid back then and the thing about parks there is that they're kinda beach-parks and they have the best cycling/running tracks#they're also really massive parks so i used to go often. sometimes bicycling. other times walking. yeah. the park was like my sanctuary#anyway. there are quite a few bike rental areas in the park and there was a cute lil shop next to this one particular rental place#and they sold like biscuits and water and icecreams and stuff and i went there a lot#and on one particular day i went there and there was this guy around my age part timing at that shop#now again this might be culture specific bc i dont see it in india but part timing in uni/pre-uni is pretty common is sg#a lot of shops and restaurants employ teenagers to twenty something ppl for part time jobs... anyway im just adding context#point is that i had walked to the park with my mum that day and she told me to go buy a couple icecreams so i went to the shop#and i saw this guy around my age and like. not to be a simp but this dude was so pretty?#like he saw someone had come to the counter so he looked up and shot a smile and i thought i got slapped by sunlight#i could spend the next several lines going on about his pretty tan skin and his glowing raven eyes but this is pathetic enough so ill stop#anyway he saw me and smiled really wide (customer service smile- i thought to myself) and i smiled back and asked for icecreams or whatever#and then this guy started getting chatty right. so he was all 'you come here (to the park) often right? ive seen you with your bike a lot'#see now. the problem with me is that i always think im bothering people. this poor dude was attempting to make conversation#and i was replying with one word answers#and i wasn't even realizing that he didnt want that. bc he kept asking more questions and i. kept. shutting them down.#then when he gave me the icecream he was all 'are you here alone? icecream alone is no fun... i could keep you company if you want..?'#which. he was being really cute about right. but because im so fucking dense i was all 'oh no i came with my mom actually'#and he went 'aw man' in this really cute but faux sad way which i didnt understand at the time and i left and then#after three full fucking days. i realized this man was tryna hit on me?#and then i went to the park like a week later and he was gone. poof. i even thought of asking the uncle in charge of that place#then i got too embarrassed and chickened out#yeah so turns out my neurodivergence neutralizes any sort of rizz that comes my way#i could've been chilling with a cute boyf rn but no😩 this is my destiny#megumi in the tags
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crying whenever i talk about Cookie9 because all my friends have these interesting and unique theories on them while i take everything too literally and they all just stare at me like “dude… uuugh we r TIRED” <-they dont actually say this they are very kind to me but i can Feel It
#my version of them is centered around their blog version with the ‘personality’ of their steam review and like a bunch of HC#i developed them with the implication that they’re Real but i’m a bit iffy on it#because all my friends have theories about how they’re from the narrator’s consciousness which is sick as hell#and i’m unsure how to actually structure everything or if i should go the same route so i can get approval from them </3#my friends r the real reviewer fans even though they dont plague themselves over them every day and im so sad that i don’t know anythinggg#gggggggggggg#like im p sure they genuinely hate the stuff i make about cookie9 and im just. scrumbles myself. sorry im Trying :( i’m not smart#or good at writing or even media literate#whatever that term means#all i have is love in my heart for them i don’t know anything at all#ouhghghhg they hate It so much but i cant do anything else and it’s all i have#like all my cookie9 stuff works on the ‘what if their blog self Was Real’ but i’m not actually sure how to fit it all into my actual parabl#stuff because i still havent worked out how my parable itself works#and people probably don’t think i know enough and i don’t think they’ll approve if i try. so i Don’t#tempted to blame this on my like. general crushing lack of intelligence caused by both physical and mental reasons#but i want to believe i could do better if i try? but that’s incredibly hopeful#i’ll be stuck here forever i think#<-guy who. whenever Anything wrong happens ever. just goes back to ‘oh yeah its because im dumb as fuckign rocks. due to the Incidents’#i am very scared of the possibility that it is possible for me to be anything more because that implies that i’m stupid because i didnt try#even though i’m trying very very fucking hard and every time i get something wrong way more than anyone else i’ve ever known#and they hate me for it . MAN!!!!!!!!!#<-brain is lying 2 me i think nobody hates me or . whatever. it still feels like it though im just saying this because i dont want anyone t#think people genuinely hate me for being stupid. i mean. people DO. but not my friends ☝️#man i can’t even get into the buglivia crap either because she is so abstracted from her actual review#girl w identity issues and also the general normal Changing A Lot Through Time. i scrumble her. around#her Self during 2018 would in fact be in character for the review.i want to draw her during that time. she took everything so seriously </3#tbh my version of her does react well to TSP humor but at the time she felt like she wasn’t allowed 2 Do Her Thing and tried to seem#more professional and Normal and it seeped into EVERYTHING for a bit#cookie9 though just genuinely found the narrator annoying and patronizing. its just not his thing and thats fine#<-random nonsensechemical reviewer bits hidden inside the vents. SEND POST.
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i drew silly gijinkas of my dogs
the dogs in question
#doodles#uhhh ill tag this oc even though its just my dogs lmao#oc#anyways#for the record about their personalities#dakotas very much a grumpy old lady. shes pretty quiet and when she has something to say its not very nice#vyse used to be a little menace!! but hes mellowed out as he got older#and orpheus is a menace!! he loves annoying people its his favorite hobby#he doesnt try to be destructive he just does things he thinks will be cool without thinking and causes massive damage in the process#hes the kid who went WANNA WATCH ME DO A BACKFLIP OFF THIS WALL??? without knowing how to do a backflip#hes like 15 and he was on his schools football team but then one summer everyone came back really buff and he did not#so he doesnt play football anymore#and hes covered in bandages from all the stupid things he does#anyways in terms of designs. i had a vision for dakota and orpheus and none for vyse#dakota specifically i thought should have a long braid and one of those fucked up canadian hats. and orpheus should look like-#-a teenage boy who cant dress nice!! also his hoodie says hellhound on the back#the neon shorts are DIRECTLY ripped from the ones i got from when i did wrestling. theyre so fucking comfy btw#dakota is mostly just cold and comfy. she REFUSES to dress lighter#vyse i didnt have any real ideas for again. i wanted to make him look a bit like his namesake vyse skiesofarcadia but i wasnt sure how#in the end he got that red scarf. which i think does make him look a bit more mischevious since so much of his face is hidden#anyways theyre like a fucked up little found family!! vyse would murder for dakota and orpheus. and dakota probably does too#probably. you can never be sure if she does actually like him#oh also this is mostly irrelevant. but vyse and dakota were meant to be like later 30s (dakotas maybe 38 and vyse is 34? ish?)#and also theyre russian. vyse and dakota i mean. idk if it comes across for vyse but one of my friends guessed it with dakota so!!#idk siberian huskies. theyre russian. россия or whatever
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yeah sure that's how i'll [re]come out

#zymart#zymtalk#rant in the tags ->#okay listen to me this is really important and also i have a witness. this was not intentionally supposed to be posted on june 1st#the stars just aligned for this to be at its funniest. which means its also easier for me to dismiss LOL#i drew this like a week ago after trying to draw a whole like. 5 page comic about it and then stopping it mid-board#bc it was horrifying imagining being perceived that much. so i needed to make it into a joke instead and this was the funniest route#and then i was like 'UGH. UGH!!!! i can not be 20 and deal with this like im 13. if i dont post it by the end of the week#then [the witness to all my rants on this topic. shoutout to twig bc they got the most of it] can joke abt it as if i did anyway'#and now its the end of the week and i looked at the date and went 'oh my god didnt may just start what happened'#'WAIT ITS JUNE FIRST. GOD. THATS TOO FUNNY TO NOT SAY SOMETHING' and who am i if i dont prioritize the bit honestly#in all honesty. kinda hate it! not bc of internalized homophobia but actually bc of internalized arophobia that has somehow been emphasized#after having my brain shift from '1000% aromantic without a doubt no exceptions' to 'just arospec ig lol??'#but tragically as it turns out. you can not just try and self analyze yourself into speedrunning closure.#horrible news for the oscar zymstarz community frankly#SO i needed a way 2 justify shoving this off my plate and into the trash as fast as possible.#im impatient and cant acknowledge my own emotions. its a flaw im working on it#oh and for all the ppl who know the running gag abt 'my allegations' [i do not have any real allegations for anyone not in jems server]:#that was in fact just a running gag for like well over a year and a half. like that was just a long running bit COMPLETELY unrelated to thi#i only started having this weird sexuality shift or whatever not too long ago lol. like long enough to go through 4 of the 5 stages of grie#[evidently bc like. im posting this. i got close enough to 5 to throw in the towel ykwim]#but on 'oscar zymstarz emotional acknowledgement' time that is....... not long.#but yeah ig tldr like. still ace [thank god] just arospec [probably demiro? i hate trying to figure out my own labels] instead of Aro now#idk none of this is that deep but also like it kinda is unfortunately bc i have to actually talk abt it to be able to ignore it ykwim#but i did! we're done talking abt it now! and now i can act like i dont care and try to make jokes about it to speedrun the rest of it#anyway. Happy Pride everyone. Fukign kitty.#side message to jem. by no means does this mean im not still gonna bully you. its a sign of love but also it is you specific bullying 🫶#you are not safe#edit: this is karma for saying 'thank god'. might be demiace too. this is the worst month of my life /j
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hummmm i looked around a bit and i guess it just depends on how u interpret their actions…?
#cheese *blush*#i saw some ppl saying that it wasnt friendship which i agree with and that it was simply them being allies which makes the most sense in my#eyes#but i also saw ppl saying hua cheng being mean or cold towards he xuan was to just play it up for he xuans sake since he was in disguise#which is interesting? idk how i feel about it particularly cus sometimes hua cheng was just straight up mean to him LOL#i also saw someone say hua cheng doesnt care for money so he xuans debt doesnt actually matter much to him and he just wants something else#to keep he xuan tethered to the world which is#really really interesting to me and i can kinda see it? although id imagine he xuan pays his debts with information more than actual money#idk! all in all umm its still complicated LMFAO#i will say the way they both suffered probably helps whatever kind of mutual understanding they have of eachother#like theyre both not ignorant to the world and its cruelty which idk maybe its a relief to hua cheng#ive said it before and ill repeat that i do think hua cheng is probably a little relieved that the other ghost king is agreeable#for the most part and he didnt get stuck with some maniac that wants to cause problems all the time#i think its however close to friendship hua cheng is willing to go which isnt far at all but kinda impressive that he xuan has made it#to that point#it is kinda funny how quickly he takes to yushi huang over he xuan who he’s probably known for like… centuries LMFAO#but id assume its just cus shes genuinely kind towards xie lian and Minds her business#whereas he xuan accidentally dragged xie lian into his beef (Lol)#also i just wanna say i dont hold hua chengs meanie behavior against him LOL i just think it . needs to be pointed out for the sake of Well.#making a point#i like when hes a meanie! i support that!#alsp yeah i didnt say this but i always thought hua chengs coldness towards he xuan in black water was because xie lian got involved and#god i cant remember if this really happened but im sure hua cheng has told he xuan to stay away from xie lian LOL#so idk its cool seeing someone else interpret it as#hua cheng playing along and not just him being simply upset his husband ended up in a dangerous situation#but who really knows! hua chengs a little mysterious so i may never get a perfectly clear read on why he does this or that
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you know it's bad when tumblr's being the more mature social media site when it comes to rancid takes on izzy's death
#ofmd#holy shit twitter's devolved into a battleground#what is WRONG with yall involving david jenkins in your beef#you dont have to like what happened but#how many fucking years in fandom does it take for people to learn to be civil#and not base their entire identities around characters so if anything happens to them it's a personal attack#that they then take straight to the creator#if a character dying causes you that much distress then that's a You problem and david fucking jenkins is not responsible#and he's not your therapist#and besides. just because something happened you didnt like doesnt mean it was a bad writing choice#but even if it were. you never have the right to make it anyone else's problem#i cant imagine having the gall#don't do this guys. the cast and crew are so lovely to us. don't make them stop interacting with us#people saying this show was a comfort show. or a safe space show or whatever. thats great for you#but it's not djenk's responsibility to cater to you and not his problem if the show doesn't meet your infinitely high expectations#he's telling a story. things will happen in those stories.#and it's actually p rare on tv that creators are getting to tell the story the way they want so personally im grateful#if you don't like his vision then don't watch it. you don't have the right to bully him. seriously whats wrong with you#cause yeah im sure con o'neill would love what youre doing huh#the fate of a fictional character is sliiiiiightly less important than being kind to people in the real world yknow#only tagging this so people can block for spoilers
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ive been watching arcane with my bestie and having a great time while doing it because i like talking about bad tv shows with my friends but for some reason if i think about arcane at any other point it activates this insane sick anxiety response like if i think for even a second about like jayvik shippingnor whatever it makes me like actually scared and sick to my stomach and i have no idea what causes this. i just get dealt psychic damage by league of legends
#its baffling to me cause its a specific type of like. mental illness fandom anxiety that i havent felt in years like i didnt even feel this#way about fucking voltron or whatever but this feeling is like completely ingrained into the idea of yaoishipping in my mind#i tried to describe it to my friend as like. this activates the anxiety of a 13 year old fujoshi in me like i get physically ill#but im not a fujoshi i dont give af aboutthese men so theres no accompanying happy emotion im literally just getting scared and feeling#horrible sick guilt whenever jayce is on my screen and i have zero reason forit#anyway this is so say that im geneuinely being plagued by the popularity of the lol cartoon because ill see it in a youtube thumbnail or#something and then feel like ive just been cursed#lime.txt#posting this just bc i need to know is anyone understands what i mean if i say 13 year old fujoshi anxiety
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ive seen a lot of utaite & producers brush off this type of hate from fans but the fact theyre going to this extent really makes me think 1) it was not the intent to have that impression and they absolutely do care and 2) the death threats were getting to them
#do you know how many people ive blocked today for telling magu to their face to die and/or explode#or some other gruesome thing#i thought they would say something about it bc they shown for years they care about fans & their opinions#but my friend & i were like. theres no way they could just change the song. like the problem IS the song#and yet here they are doing EXACTLY that#mad. theyve been working on this song for a year already. theres posted proof theyve been working on it since last february#and they arent just deleting the song theyre trying to FIX IT.#thats so much work. thats so so much work.#on principle death threats are never okay to anyone and i mean anyone#but like. are u bullies happy now.#like i know u wont be. whatever revisions they make i know u people are going to be like this isnt any better#but like. congrats!! u made ur point. if u were part of the threat or harassment campaign i have no respect for u#theres a bit of a 'probably shouldntve made it in the first place' thought there#but i still think this level of reaction is respectable. especially considering no one was saying it to them with any respect#do not come at me i have absolutely dropped producers & utaite at a moments notice for real tangible harm regarding the subject#but i thought from the start it wasnt their intention to come across that way it just didnt read that way#questionable yes but it read as being fixated on an end to realize that is was#more so than Making A Statement#& for once i get to say i was right#magu-san goto
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need to make new friends. need to form more connections with people. but how.
#a nyx original#making friends used to be so EASY when i would disregard my mental wellbeing for the sake of fitting in#sighhhhhhhh fuck me and my self worth i guess how am i supposed to make friends like this#dont even get me started on my fear of missing out#ill ignore something if i dont wanna engage with it because.. im sane.. BUT#if i see a bunch of people (especially if some of them are people i know) engaging with it ill start getting all pissy and upset#because i didnt get there first#even though. there was a reason for that.#like bro how am i this socially inept im an extrovert ffs#I WANT NEW FRIENDS !!! BUT TALKING TO PEOPLE IS SO HARRDDDDD#i mean i cant force it none of my close friendships were forced#we're just close friends because i like them and they like me. thats that#man. maybe thats my problem. im unlikeable#JUST KIDDING id never say that. my problem? i cant bring myself to like people#if your vibes are off ill just completely ignore your existence unless im forced to acknowledge you#and its kinda sucky because ive def missed out on so many people because of that#whatever . whatever man stfu and stop complaining#emotional nonsense#i tHINK i dont need that tag for once and then boom
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