#man. maybe thats my problem. im unlikeable

[sakasamashoujo]

need to make new friends. need to form more connections with people. but how.

[jorvikzelda]

today i had this Vivid memory flash through my mind of kissing my ex boyfriend (this was like 2018) and i felt so viscerally fucking revolted and I gotta say. it is truly impressive that I didn’t realise I’m a lesbian sooner than fucking half a year ago

[teddykaczynski]

recently i was discussing sexuality on the land with a new friend and she said that she believed sexuality is more fluid than people think, something to that affect, and i at first wholeheartedly disagreed because that kind of thinking is like, not great for homosexuals historically and in the present day. but she clarified that she meant more in the.... theres more "straight" people that are actually bi way which i do think is true. shes questioning and like, unsure of herself if shes les or bi and somehow this led to me saying how when ive heard some bisexual women talk about their life, they thought they were lesbians for much of it until meeting a man that they were attracted to and in many of these cases, married. and how this feels like a horror story to me, not for them, but like on a personal level. partially because its been told to me that way. like, when i was discussing my reasons for going off T during my first detransition with my old gender therapist i said that i was now beginning to believe i was a lesbian. and she said that she used to think that too but then she met her husband and that maybe thatll happen to me someday!!! which is. not a pleasant thought for me. it is a horror story. one of the biggest reasons i... really dont want that to happen is because it would feel like such a betrayal of my younger self. my 18 year old self who fought and tried so hard to be into penis who felt that that would solve all my problems and make me No Longer Evil and Condemned to the point of a mental breakdown and suicide attempt- if my 26, 38, 50, year old self, somehow fucking met a man i was into, she would have suffered for literally nothing. and i really believe i am a homosexual. but it scares me that i might not be. but, ive discussed this with bi friends who said that the women who realized later in life, probably always had more signs and were just in denial with themselves. for various reasons. i dont think im explaining how she said it right but it was reassuring that U__U ok well thats not my experience. anyway new friend asked if i thought like a woman who had only ever been into women but then met a guy she fell in love was a lesbian but had just found the One Man for her and i said no she was always bisexual and its unlikely that was the one man like i can imagine a woman who was literally only attracted to one man in her life but its not about the specific dude its about that hes male. like suzy could meet mike and like him but if suzy met larry instead... i think im making sense. like i dont believe theres a ssa women out there who only has the potential to be into one specific dude like as the one exception i guess im saying its not an exception theoretically thats the one man she met but hes still a man. anyway.

[justalilpearlie]

!! Intro !! (updated)

Hello everyone, my name is PearlescentMoon

Hihi! I'm Pearl! Magic is quite a fine name aswell. Although I'm a man of many names ;)

I am a minor, my gender labels are gendervoid verinix, tho I also ID as bigender and ftm (fem presenting tho! not transmasc, just trans man)! I'm queer, leaning on mlm, tho I also like girls here and there.

I go by He/Xe. I can She/Her myself + close friends/mutuals are allowed, but refrain from doing so without explicit permision please. (I also use neos: Void/Moon/Sweet/It/Fluff/Love/Fizz/Paw)

I'm from Argentina, born and raised, never moved. Speak fluent english and spanish.

I'm autistic and I have ADHD aswell as BPD and a few other things I wont list right now! But yeah I'm psychotic (ooo scary word.. lmao)

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I'm an IRL of many, mainly c!Pearl (mcyt), c!Magic(outsmp+psmp), Samuel Emily (fnaf [games canon]) and Shin Tsukimi (yttd). If you don't like it you can leave, block me, or whatever, cause you aint gonna change my life or how I am. I'm in therapy, which unlike random hate and harrassment online, does help me :)

I like to stream, roleplay, draw, sometimes make playlists or moodboards.. And my biggest interests right now are the Outsiders SMP, The Hatchetfield Musicals, Life Series and Empires 1.

I use kin tags for reach cause I'd love interaction from any mediamates!! Specially from Outsiders <3

Fictionkins, therians and traumagenic systems all welcome!

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DNI prefferably:

- Basic DNI criteria (proshippers, homophobes, transphobes, racists, TERFs, ableist, etc)

- Endos/non-traumagenic "systems" DNI. block me if u want, i wont argue abt it in the comments/reblogs. or interact if u want but im not gonna follow u back or anythin shrugs.

- reality checkers or anti-IRLs DNI. I aint "romanticizing" shit, I'm existing and living my life, if thats a problem to you too bad cause my psychologist aproves of what I'm doing, since I aint harming anyone and I myself am doing dandy.

- anti-kin also DNI cause most of my friends are fictionkins and if you talk shit abt my fellas idk i wouldnt like having u around much

CCs I'd rather if you didn't interact, but if you shall do so anyways, do so at your own risk, you've been warned. /lh

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"Disclaimer"

- I talk about MajorMoon (Scott x Pearl) a LOT, if u didnt notice by the acc theme. These are my romantic memories, its a gay ship, not woman/gay man, so if it makes u uncomfortable or u hate it or whatever then ur probably not gonna like my content lmao. COUGH, consider joining us if you do like what you see... /nf We're a small comunity of supporters.. just me.. and a few of my peeps... that was a joke, sir. /ref

- This isn't roleplay, its my main acc where im ""unapologetically"" myself, but if u do wanna rp outsiders/life series/empires/fnaf u can always shoot me a dm and maybe I'll give u my discord.

- I talk about myself (c!Pearl) using 3rd person in many posts tagged with main fandom tags. This is to cause less confusion to casual fans slash ""normies"" (lhj) that well.. don't know what IRLs are! Also that way I feel safer and don't have to worry as much abt getting harassed and such for my identity.

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Special People Mentions!! fps = * (1 or more.. wouldnt say in a priority sorta order but. more or less yea)

Family! <3 🌼 @pehpurr* SISTER!! YOU'RE AMAZING, DAISY. SO SO GREAT. YOUR ART IS INCREDIBLE, YOU ARE SO PASSIONATE ABOUT EVERYTHING YOU DO, YOU ARE SO VERY CARING FOR OTHERS, SO KIND AND TALENTED, A GREAT WRITER AND THE BEST BEST SISTER I COULD EVER ASK FOR!! Scar, you changed my life, you were there for me when I needed you the most, I know you ALWAYS have my back. You're kind to me even when the world isn't, and know that even if we fight or if you do things I disagree with (ehem forgiving too much ppl /lht), I will never leave you, and I will never stop coming after you. I love you, Kanna. You're the best Peeps, keep it up, for you're a beacon of hope in everyone's lives. I'm so proud. ♡ ⚙️ @gentlexmadman DAD!! I FREAKING LOVE YOU DAD OMG!! I am SO very happy we got to spend our first fathers day together even if just a little, you made this the first year I was actually happy to celebrate it, looking forward to it and making a gift of my own :) Im so so happy to have you in my life. You are, likewise to Pepper, an AMAZING artist, so much detail, just so awesome in general. I love hearing all your silly stories about work and the people you know, old man. Thank you for being with me, papá, I never thought I'd actually find you again. Thank you so so very much. ♡

🐸 @bigb-enthusiast SIBLING!! MY SIBLING IN ZAYA OH MY GOODNESS IS THAT USER BIGB ENTHUSIAST?? YES IT SURE IS!! Bro I could listen to ur analysis and rambles til the end of the world u got the best ideas ever wtf!!?? Ur very freakin insane but also ur my best buddy, my nosey neighbor for life!! I appreciate u a lot, Bee, my favorite insane asylum escapee ♡

🔪 @skywardspecter OECAAAAA HEY ZACH ILYSM BROTHER!! YOUR ROLEPLAY AND WRITINGS ARE AAAAA-MAZE-ING !! I RLLY WANNA MEET U IRL!! UR SO GOOD AT ROLEPLAY AND ART, YOU'RE SO CREATIVE AND BRIGHT UR LIKE A BALL OF SUNSHINE!! U PUT UP W A LOT RUNNING SM SERVERS BUT U ALWAYS GET BACK UP AND I THINK THATS ADMIRABLE!! AND IDK VIANS TUMBLR BUT SHOT OUT TO VIAN AND ORCA TOO !! VIANS SUCH A GREAT SUPPORTIVE FRIEND FR NO MATTER WHAT AND ORCA IS SUCH A KIND AND FUNNY GUY, VERY UNDERSTANDING <33 I LOVE U GUYS!! U MAKE ME FEEL SAFE, LIVE LAUGH LOVE MAGIC MAZE ♡

🥣 @rennyus SOUP OMGGG HAI SIBLIIIING ILYSM !!! GGHHH YOU. YOU ARE SO GREAT AND PATIENT WITH ME, YOU'RE ALWAYS THERE FOR ME WHEN I NEED YOU AND YOU'VE NEVER EVER JUDGED ME FOR ANYTHING!! I LOOOOVE HEARING ABT UR MEMORIES THEYRE ALWAYS SO SO SWEET <33 I RLLY HOPE U FIND UR WIVES SOMEDAY CAUSE ALL I WANT IS TO SEE U HAPPY SIB ♡

🐟 Aussi, MY AMAZING COUSIN OMG?? IDK UR USER HERE BUT!! WE'VE BEEN THRU SOOO SO MUCH TOGETHER, EVEN WITH THE PERIODS WE DONT TALK MUCH IN, I LOOOOVE GETTING INTO THINGS U LIKE OR WHEN U TAKE THE TIME TO GET INTO THE STUFF I ENJOY TOO!!! UR FRIENDS ARE ALSO VERY SILLY N I LOVE PLAYIN PHASMO WITH YALL! I LOOOVE ALL THE MEMORIES WE SHARE TOGETHER AND THESE TWO YEARS OF COUSINSHIP HAVE BEEN AMAZING!! TO MANY MANY MORE YEARS COUSIN!! LOVE YOU TONS ♡

Simply special <3 ☕ @insomniac-coffeehouse** You're all simply so very special to me. I love every second we spend together. I love seeing yall thrive. I love your insane yet endearing behavior. You might be a bit unhinged sometimes, and admittedly not the healthiest person when it comes to your schedules, but I'm just so proud of everything you create and accomplish. I hope you get to accomplish all your dreams, and I hope I can be here to see that happen, if you let me :)! For many years more, cause I'm just oh so glad I met you. You spark joy in my brain and my heart <3 From the bottom of my heart, I'm in love with the hope you bring to this world. 🍊 Jack***, Oh my dearest, where do I even begin with you, sport... you trully are my soulmate, my other half... mi media naranja, if you will, heh.. Every second I get to spend with you is like heaven, no matter whats going on, I know everything will be alright cause I have you. You mean absolutely everything to me, my Hero, I know you'll always be there for me. You are the sweetest man I've ever met, and I'm so proud of the person you've become. If I had to choose between you or the world I'd choose you 10 times over, and I can say surely, that you'd do the same. I love every single detail about you, thank you for being so patient with me, you're wonderful, cielo. I love your voice, I love your eyes, I love your smile, your laughter. I love your use of words, the way you speak, your humor, your seriousness and stupidness. You stiff fuck, you were made for me and I was made for you, and I wouldn't have it any other way. You're my everything, mi vida, mi luz, mi estrella. Mi amor, mi mundo. ♡

Friends! 🏜️ @thecranewivesrpf My right hand man!! OMG we havent talked in a WHILE but ILYSM !!! MY SECOND IN COMMAND IN THE MAJORMOON SERVER FRFR!! WE SHOULD TALK AGAIN, I MISS U POOKIE </3

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Badges I've earned:

(More TBA)

That's it for now folks, love yall and see you around!

[fablecore]

i was curious what you thought of the live-action One Piece now that season one is out! personally, i have the same compliants as Geoff of Mother's Basement (youtu.be/43K-H_dtQ9g?si=2n0MLLPmdw0vARk7) where, personally, my main compliants were (1) how clean some of these well-worn outfits and set-pieces were and the bigger one was (2) how Garp was altered but i, like Geoff, have my hopes that s2 can fix that by showing that this is the experience (mostly part from Mihawk) that changed Garp into more of the Garp we see in the manga. "a high 8 or low 9 out of 10" indeed. overall, i think its okay as an adaptation! i like Sanji's perviness being toned down, i dont mind most of the shuffling and changing because it is an adaptation with timeslots and seasons unlike a limitless manga with arcs however long it wants. i can understand if you or others dont like the live-action adaptation though! i just like that it was a good gateway to help me turn some of my friends into One Piece fans, less scared of how BIG One Piece is now the live-action has given them a limited taste, towards the manga or the OnePace.net-editted version of the anime (though i do still plan to have them watched some of the anime-only filler that is fun lmao maybe ill throw a sleepover or something, idk, i just like how OnePace fine-tunes the padded-out pacing problem the later One Piece episodes have) thats the main plus of the live-action adaptation to me

but im curious about your thoughts if you have any?? its okay if you never plan to watch it, i know a few other fans like that and i dont mean for my wuestion to be all peer-pressure-y or anything ♡

i've never heard of onepace until now! i'm in the same boat, i've been watching opla with my sister who's kind of interested in starting one piece but is also intimidated by the anime's episode count. maybe we can watch onepace instead. thanks for letting me know ☺️

i've only seen the first two episodes (but don't care at all about spoilers and have seen a lot already). i didn't like the first episode, zoro particularly, but the second was fun! well... it was camp. combined, i would give it the verdict of "aggressively okay" but this isn't a judgement on anyone who liked it. if you did, i'm happy you had a good time. i just have cinema brain.

what i liked so far: helmeppo's >:O face and his puma trainers. the vfx team in charge of luffy's rubberyness. buggy's "surprise, shithead!" nami's den den mushi earpiece/cellphone.

the rest:

zoro’s zombified no energy go girl give us nothing monotone. 😐 <- why did they tell him to make this face in every shot

they cut the scene where luffy gives zoro his swords back and replaced it with helmeppo ass

"a man needs to be strong. but he also needs to be good.” you are going to cut off a pirate rookie's arm and then obliterate his ship and crew later 👍

what is this whole thing about being "morally good" and "one of the good guys" and "a good pirate" it's ICKY

justice for silly winky vain nami. how are they going to do the personality shift into broody serious arlong park nami when she's been broody and serious the whole time

nami spent like 30 minutes unlocking one (1) locked cage. i guess it's because she and zoro needed to talk/get some exposition in, and i'm not going to suggest a better option because i don't want to rewrite half the script. i just found it amusing because normally it's "suspend your disbelief when a character does something amazing for the plot" and not "when a character is noticeably worse at something they really have no business being this bad at. for the plot"

i'm starting to think that zoro and nami lost core personality traits because the writers wanted them to be luffy foils instead of their actual characters

i did hear taz was the best/most charismatic actor out of the straw hats. i'm assuming this is because they let him be sanji instead of making him into a luffy foil since they have enough luffy foils

cameraperson's love affair with low angle closeups and fisheye lens. i don't hate it (it's camp) just pointing it out

i'm literally so serious about mackenyu's insufferable zoro voice. whenever i hear him talk in that joyless southern california kardashian vocal fry my blood pressure shoots through the roof. who made him do that

even though i have issues with the writing, i think objectively opla has done a decent job of pleasing fans. i'm not one of them but i know there's a lot. but on a technical and artistic level... deep sigh palms pressed together listen... i was hoping for spellbinding artistry from the showrunners. beautifully lit scenes, beautiful camerawork, excellent technical chops, lingering shots of luffy's bruised knuckles, the slightly frayed fabric on zoro's swords, a super close-up of a log pose with the crew talking behind the compass needle, their bodies distorted by the glass. fingerprints on kerosene lamps. barnacles on rotting wood. a searingly hot-blue summer sky (super saturated in post) over shells town or wherever. i wanted lush gorgeous rich interesting artistic ideas from the directors and cinematographers. i haven't seen any of that so far, and what i have seen doesn't compel me to watch more. i'm not saying the actual cinematography was bad! just. okay. it was okay.

(but also some of the nighttime/underlit scenes are bad. put a dang key light on your actors 🤺)

concluding thoughts: at the end of the day, if netflix wants to keep throwing millions per episode at tomorrow studios, i'm fine with overlooking mediocre filmmaking and storytelling. i want everyone in the production crew to get their bag. i hope this show runs for another 50 seasons and is powered by union labor forever and ever until the end of time amen

[phioneplatinum]

warning!! discorce/drama below! if you don't feel like seeing it, dont go beyond the line break!

if my comments on a certain puyo drama post shows up on your feed i apologise in advance. i don't really make comments like that but tbh i've had a few issues in puyo community that i've been keeping to myself but a post like that one needs a few words of mine on that.

not tagging this as puyo btw but otherwise. yeah im starting to feel like i shouldn't be in puyo community anymore man. dont get me wrong, i love puyo and im forever grateful for all the struggles it got me over through my 5 years of being into it, but the community is just. on fire constantly. at least that what it feels like to me.

again, if the big puyo community people start bashing on me for those comments, then im just gonna say fuck it and leave puyo community entirely man. if people want to stay oblivious to what's going on that's clearly a problem, then that just how the cookie crumbles.

hell, maybe if you remember about how RH:HK was something that was probably gonna get me out of puyo community for a while, i wasn't kidding. i genuinely feel like RH:HK is something that's letting me take a break from puyo community, and as a person who's been in puyo tumblr for 5 YEARS STRAIGHT, you can see why me having a break is so much more needed, esp with all the issues that are starting to become more obvious. i genuinely feel a little more comfortable in the RH:HK community despite how few people are in there. because unlike puyo, i can just post stuff without slightly worrying about getting bashed on or being forced out because of what i wanna say

sure, i don't like drama either. im not a discorse person, and i don't like starting arguments. but when a person is being genuinely bad on a moral scale and you're like the only one who sees whats wrong? then thats kinda fucked up. something needs to be said. voices need to be heard. sorry for the sour post but i need this off my chest.

[yuukei-yikes]

Tell us about Shinaya’s breakup :D

HEHDJEIDNEKFJEKDKEK ive had this ask since i posted i was thinking abt it MAN i cannot express to u i just. I WANNA WRITE A FIC SO BAD but AUGH im so bad at it it makes me cringe i cant do that but its basically like all my damn posts together u know. i keep thinking of shintaro's disastrous relationships post str going from ayano to kano to takane etcetc sorry im playing with him like a stress toy making him go thru hell but its so fun

srry i dont wanna have to rewrite a lot of stuff so erm im liking this answer 🫡🫡🫡 and i could link a bunch more just so u SEE MY VISION... but i think linking that is enough. ON AND OFF SHINAYA MY BELOVED

shintaro and ayano sort of having this ridiculous relationship because both are hurting and jumped in a relationship too quick but fighting/being sad about stupid shit is so much easier than dealing with their actual issues that they've got with themselves. like focusing on each other and what they don't like about each other and their relationship is so much easier than crying about how suicidal they are. lollllll SO LIKE this insanity sort of saves them at the same time??

i mean the most ideal would be that instead of getting together they got therapy and the normal kind not the relationship kind. you know. but also theyre traumatized and ugh. its so much easier to resent each other than themselves. its so much easier to be petty. its such a relief to cry over relationship problems than over timeline resets or dead parents and etc. YOU GET ME?????

they keep breaking up and getting back together ridiculously like it is 1000% so dramatic each and everytime. ayano crying her eyes out like its the end of the world and shintaro making 100 sad playlists. and it happens at least monthly. the first time everyone's like WHOA THEY BROKE UP!?!? SHIT!! the second time its like heyyy maybe they'll work it out like last time!! third time its like are you joking. fourth time they're already begging them to stop. by they i mean the dan but especially takane by the way. who do you think is picking up the pieces.

and by the way the one breaking up all the time and being dramatic as hell is shintaro. he gets angry and annoyed and weaponizes the LETS BREAK UP thing because he DOESNT MEAN IT. like he knows he and ayano will work it out later. he gets comfortable again. not to get on the ayano surviving thing, but i think ayano (and hiyori but especially ayano) making it out alive undoes a big part of the message abt moving on. like i love her so im not complaining thats i love having her alive :3 but i like to translate this into shintaro like. he's intensely trying to repress/process all the memories of the other timelines to cope and have a normal life and ends up being this way because he's sort of self sabotaging himself. like ayano's alive and she likes me??? lol. ok?? ill wake up any moment now!! and he feels guilty and undeserving and is sort of a dickhead to her in an unconscious attempt of keeping her away because that's what he deserves according to him. also why he's accepting of takane's intense obsession with him lol bc she's familiar and she is comfortable, unlike ayano who is so rare and one in its kind in all the timelines. he is sort of terrified of her in a way.

the lets break up isnt rly a breakup. its just a leave me alone see u later. LOL i think we talk too much abt kanoshin bringing the worst in each other but what about shinaya. they do that too. yeah we CAN have fluffy shinaya. but like i said it is so easy to focus all this bitterness and sadness into each other and it's so relieving to be sad and angry about this rather than everything else. because this is sort of in their control while everything else isn't, wasn't. and its so unfair. of course its unfair!! but they cant do anything abt it. so they just go crazy on each other. ayano is DESPERATE to be needed. i could link more replies but i will hold myself back. basically her siblings are used to being alone/know she has her own problems and ayano is dealing with this emptiness and feeling of failure bc no one needs her, from her perspective her sacrifice still failed to save everyone, her parents are gone so she needs to step up. like she puts herself under all this pressure and feels Not Good Enough for ANYTHING. and she is dating shintaro.

it's EASY to bother him and try to get him to open up and etc so she ridiculously focuses on that. but it gets on shintaro's nerves to say the least LOL plus all his other issues i mentioned 🫡plus she keeps being like we have to be normal. lets kiss and hold hands and cuddle. but she's too embarrassed to say it/do it and shintaro is even more pathetic about it. so theyre both frustrated about everything and can barely even sit next to each other without acting insane.

AND SORRY BUT I WILL TALK ABT TAKANE🫡💞💗💖💝💕💘ofc. codependent shintaka. of course. it drives ayano CRAZY because on top of all their problems takane is able to talk sense into shintaro each and every single time. and she is soooo jealous like she knows its stupid but she cant help ittt i ALSO TALKED ABT THIS SORRY I KEEP REPEATING MYSELF IM JUST SO CRzy abt it. hehe......the whole mess bringing drama to harutaka too bc shintaro and ayano are so messy theyre contagious is so fun to me. when it comes to shintaro and takane's horrible relationship both their romantic relationships suffer for it but deal with it completely differently. while both haruka and ayano deal with jealousy somewhat, ayano is so hurt and already at the verge of a mental breakdown so she's focusing so many negative emotions on it and AGAIN it just serves as another point of argument between shintaro and ayano while haruka is like. his mental state isnt as convoluted as ayanos, he's rather freaking out and terrified of being left alone. THIS IS ABT SHINAYA so i wont get into harutaka side but lol. heh. Looks at it. zooms in it. like what i mean is that haruka and takane talk and work through it and are like sighs yeah...this is messed up while shintaro and ayano are using it against each other instead of working on it LMAO

ANYWAYS. ayano breaks up with shintaro. vine boom. total breakdown moment like everyone out of the room i wanna talk to you alone. and this time its for REAL. like ayano isnt confrontational at all, all their arguments are always her being pushy abt idk mental health and shintaro's like godddd STOPPPPP and ayano crying and shintaro being like I CANNOT DEAL WITH THAT. IM SORRY I GUESS. CAN U GET OUT OF THE ROOM. WE'LL TALK LATER. but he also sucks so bad at letting the other person know they can count on him so he kind of assumes ayano will do it when she's ready because he KNOWS she's in pain. like. ofc it could go well. ofc shintaro and ayano could work through everything with kindness and comprehension for each other but they're both so sad and suddenly find themselves annoyed at each other one time and it felt so freeing to do that that they just keep doing it. especially shintaro. having ayano be mad at him is sort of relieving because he feels undeserving of her and its like yeah. Yeah!! i know its ooc but shinaya screaming match.god. sorry but all their bottled up emotions abt everything and they take it out on each other for no reason other than theyre giving each other the space and it plays out that way. theyre acting crazy about something so stupid like shintaro not wanting ayano to wear his clothes or whatever. like they scream about that but its not about that. it just feels so good to scream. it feels so good to scream and let it out even if they haven't given themselves the time to process that theyre not... actually screaming abt that at all. theyre screaming about everything else. not even about each other. its about themselves. its always been.its never been about each other. when it is, its stupid. thats why they do it. its just easier. God. they were just not ready for a relationship, especially not one with each other out of all people.

ayano breaks first, therefore dumps shintaro lol. he goes thru his own fucked up arc afterwards while ayano gets help. my man spirals DOWN. whether they get back together or not depends on my mood 🤨 but if they do, its by the time theyre in their mid twenties or something so a few years later LOL i picture them dating like for over a year maybe?? when theyre 18/19. hehe.

like. do you get it.

[arunneronthird]

i agree about talia tbh like the introduction of damian was the beginning of the death of her character. damian couldn't have been raised as he was and talia was a good mother. its simply impossible. like...morrison for as much as he introduced my favorite blorbo (damian) and did him so well, he didn't do ANY reading up on my girl before he wrote her and its jarring because like...talia broke away for the league for bruce. for a man. much less her own son. her whole thing is supposed to be her not being like ra's, her genuinely caring about animals and the environment and not using it as an excuse for terrorism unlike him, her caring about humanity in a way he doesnt (or, at least not thinking humanity should be killed) and the conflict between her and her father (or her vs the way she was raised) is a central part of her story, until she finally broke away and hasn't been fully with the league since then. maybe it's cause i've read her old comics w/ bruce and morrison isn't my first introduction to her, but i feel nobody's gotten her right in a while and there's sort of no way to redeem her as a parent without changing a lot of damian's backstory and thus character, which i don't think dc's gonna do any time soon, which is a shame. so i just ignore what i don't like and form my own canon <3 but yeah, disliking talia is totally valid, loml hasn't been the same in decades and current-her is pretty shitty

u know what nonny, this is such a solid opinion and ur take is valid

i do have to admit morrison for me was kind of an excuse, i never really liked her much to begin with cause "i did things for romantic love" is something i never like cause i am a gremlin, so when she was set up as a bad mother i had 0 problems just disliking her

that being said like, i dislike villains in general, i dislike bad people cause they are bad, but i dislike them as people, not characters, im glad she exists as a character in the same way ras or the joker exist, i cannot in good faith like them as people but i love the stories they create

when i truly dislike a character i just act like they do not exist, when a character is pointless or shoehorned thats when i have a problem

[bonesandthebees]

now for the strategy exercise

I think phil choose that exercise on purpose, believing it could show well the benefits of tommy being a blank slate (just as this phrase isnt getting out of wilburs head, youre not getting away from the unintentional lyric reference)

also the solution tommy gives is pretty simple, it kinda shows how niki and q both tried to go the way they are most familiar with, showing off a bit their capabilities, thinking about more tricky stuff like the psyche of the people, with niki especially

the exercise is about coming up with a super complicated strategy, its more about finding out what APPROACH they would take to this situation

and like I understand the problem with nikis solution but tbf to niki, she came up with a much better solution to the presented problem when you focus just at the result, unlike tommys plan hers was thought thru and didnt have that many loopholes, it just didnt fit phils expectations, like when this happens to me in an exam, im also arguing with the teacher that the fact that it wasnt their answer doesnt mean my answer isnt correct

now im bit saying I think thats the best way to rule a kingdom BUT niki is very rightfully angry about phil praising tommy

and honestly I just think good for niki yk, like yes, go get that power, whatever it takes

I love her standing up against phil but than being scared she messed up, there are so many layers to her it's amazing

you always treat your female characters right and rose!niki is prime example of that, she is everything I adore her so much and I support her rights and her wrongs

and when it comes to q, hes the one that confuses me bc he seems so easy to read and very certain about being chosen as the heir which is very dangerous in court and foolish and first look youd think hes just not good at hiding his opinions which could tie into him being a less likely heir

but like hes been at the court for quite some time and must know how much of a disadvantage being readable is so maybe hes playing is double layered, pretending to be easy to read while actually hiding the important stuff, I mean wilbur calls him really smart and witty

or theres a secret third option where its only wilbur whos able to read him so well and we wouldnt know bc its from wilburs pov but the way its described, compared to how wilbur reading niki is described this is unlikely id say

and the worst is that with the kind of character quackity is he could be either, like he turns out to be super smart and calculative ill be like thats so like him but if he turns out to be actually just that egoistic and easy to be ill be like yeah thats exactly like the train wreck of a man I know and love

I mean quackity knows his strengths and how to play on them, knows it wont be easy getting the throne and so he does stuff like partnering with schlatt, calling the meeting...

but with the strategy exercise it shows that hes putting everything on his strong suits and thats not always gonna be enough

oh yeah phil definitely chose the exercise for a reason. tbh it was a test for all three of them, less to learn their war strategy and more to learn how well they take guidance and criticism. definitely highlights the benefits of tommy being a blank slate.

and that ties into the issue with niki. while her plan had some issues, it was the most realistic of the three. the problem was her reaction to phil's criticism. she had a right to argue with phil regarding the success of her strategy, but that's not what phil wanted.

I'm glad you're enjoying rose!niki so far. like yes, she stood up to phil and was stubborn and angry and ruthless, but she was also scared. she was worried she messed up and regretted speaking out because she deals with so much pressure to always maintain a certain public persona and reputation, because her future is so reliant on it. I'm so happy I get to spend so much time focusing on niki in a long fic like this. rose!niki is so complicated and has so much going on with her, I'm really excited to continue diving into her character.

hmm won't go into detail to what's going on with q, but I'd say there's a mix of things going on from what you said. wilbur's pov definitely plays a role in how well we're able to read him, but also he is very aware of the games being played and knows how to adjust his behavior accordingly.

[mrstsung]

Vent below if you like liu kang this post isn't for you. This is basically an anti liu kang and really angry post.

Giving y'all a warning.

Again DNI if you like liu kang or "stan" him. Or are a fire god liu kang fan. Because this post isn't for you.

Like I'm giving a warning for a reason because im not gonna be nice rn. I choose violence today ok?

Trying to cite warnings and tag this so people don't get up in arms. (Which they may anyways but hey thats on them if they click further)

Cw:vent,angry admin.

Last warning. If you like liu kang. Plz for the love of god dni and keep scrolling. But if you dont like him. And especially hate fire god liu kang. Plz Continue.

Vent below cut

If you like or stan liu kang but more so mk12/mk1 god *redacted titans derogatory* liu kang.

Kick rocks. He's an asshole. Have a nice die liu kang. 💀🗑⚰

Nah. You can miss me with that. Liu kang deserves nothing but death and suffering. In fact everyone BUT shang tsung deserves it.

Nah if yall would have gave shang something actually decent,livable,love and care,maybe a fucking decent friend that wasn't a previous roster member?,etc. None of this would be a problem. But nope. Liu kang had to be a petty whore bitch with bias agenda. Could have made him evil and made him like dark raiden. But nope you had to make him insufferable and unlikable.

Like a guy who hides behind the im nice,till you disagree or reject his ideals and suddenly you're gaslighted and given shit. Omg much like religious indoctrination. How interesting. But they dont wanna talk about that.

People don't wanna talk about how shitty the writing is. But people don't care so as long as the characters are pretty and fuckable enough. But the more things change the more they stay the same i guess.

Everytime i see mk12/mk1 liu kang i wanna spit on him and punch him and set him on fire and just want him dead and gone for good. Because i fucking hate him. I have never hated even kronika this bad,more so i felt she was a waste of potential, and redundant af. Nah He deserves die.

Like go to Super hell liu kang. Piss off with your shitty fanfic Timeline. Loser bitch ass hiding behind a fake ass smile and preaching peace. Peace my ass. Shit happened anyways. Makes fucking shinnok look like a fucking saint sweetheart in comparison.

Like im not even joking. I don't even care about his reasons. I dont even care what canon says. Or these fucking mk1 liu kang fans say anymore. Im tired.

Which we all know it's because he has weird hang ups over kitana when he could have just fucking left,said fuck it and married her anyways. She would have said yes. But he had to be weird about it,roundabout af,and make everyone suffer because he couldn't get edanian pussy.

Or it's because maybe he thinks he can do better than raiden. The arrogant prick. Nah that god dilf raised you and you give him this shit?! After all he went through?! Thi s is the thanks you give him?! Liu kang im not just disappointed in you im disappointed in the fact raiden didn't kill you off when he had the chance when he went dark. Would've Saved us a shitty game and a half.

Like liu kang did all the things and still had bad things if not worse things. Happen. Preaching peace and prosperity my ass. Fake ass ugly ass hoebag bitch. I hope he chokes on his spit in his sleep. I hope sand get in his ass and never comes out. I hope he dies from this bullshit lame tarkat disease and gets ultra mega plague. I just fucking hate it man.

The villains are lame. The story is lame. Liu kangs fanfic is lame. And nrs is lame.

I'd rather deal with the shitty 2021 movie than this shit. I'd rather deal with shitty writing in mk11 than this. Fr. At least it's entertaining shit.

And shang tsung isn't a fucking dumpster fire in the story. Shao kahn while a meathead is still terrifying. Quan chi isn't there but in 10 he was fucking beeeeeast. Shinnok. Poor shinnok. You deserve better. Cetrion was a waste. Kronika too. Geras was actually scary,but now he's a tool.

Legitimately the gameplay is just juggle better,gimmicky kameos bullshit,and same ol crap different wrapper.

Mk12/mk1? More like mk11.5 . Nothing changes thats worth the money.

I can find better shit on emulators.

Graphics aside what does the new game really truly have to offer? Nothing.

Wishful thinking. Like a bag of lays chips but unlike potato chips which is useful. This game sadly. Is not.

(Liu kang is only valid if he's from the 95 movie thats it. Fuck every other version. But even then it's thin ice at this point. Nrs has ruined liu kang for me.)

So yeah kick rocks liu kang. I hate liu kang and anyone who stans his ass rn in the story and the new game can fuck right off.

[arttrampbelle]

Ah yes they really did make the whole liu kang is everyones savior complex. Wow

Just wow.

They legit are making him a mary sue! Like people think its just a game. And yeah it is. But for people who genuinely love the series,grew up with it,its fucking awful to tell someone who's pissed off and genuinely upset at them fucking over a good story for profit.

Im just like how can you legit call yourself a fan if you like this liu kang? How can you say you love this series if they legit are making the characters unlikeable.

Also nobody's racist for not liking tanyas design. They are allowed to complain. They have no other black characters in the game so far cept maybe jax and he's just a helper. (Maybe rain,maybe. Like there really isnt maybe black coded characters, which is a problem in of itself but thats besides the point) How is that not fucked up?! How can you legit not get pissed at the way they've treated poc and poc coded characters over the 30 fucking years its been around?! Fuck man. Like its not rocket science. Its not hard to fucking see that nrs,ed boon,is a scumbag. But y'all to blind by buy,buy,buy,buy product, hurr my faves back ,oh look someone giving valid criticism?! Well they are just a meany pants in the way of my hype train.

Its ridiculous. Like mk has had toxicity before. But its worse now. Like waaaaay worse.

Its a mcu situation all over again. And it's sad.

As if this game can get any worse.

People eating this garbage up and its sad.

Very sad and pathetic to look at.

Cage match blows this out the water by a long shot by trailers alone. Like fr. A johnny cage fucking spin off.

Why do they keep massacring liu kang?! Why?!

Why are people so damn dense to not see how nrs is fucking this series up?!

I need a fucking break.

[talksofmyfamily]

lately ive been wondering if i want to be an author at all.

it was always my dream, writing books, writing of my fantasies and ideas, that overflow my mind at all times. but sometimes i look at the cars my father - a distant man, every time we speak we argue and we scream and we cry and fight, he just doesn't listen, he just doesn't let you get a word in - repairs and works on, and i think of what it would be like to know what goes on inside them. how do they work? what happens in them? theyre structured. theyre pretty, and unique, and sometimes theyre also ugly. the old ones, thats what he repairs. not the new, electric cars, with their modern, ever-the-same sleek designs, he takes care of the hiccups that the old ones have. he doesn't do it professionally, actually, he cuts and sells firewood, but when someone has a problem with their motor, they go to him. and sometimes, i watch him work on them, from the window, where i sit and smoke almost every hour of day. he doesn't look angry when he does it. he just looks passive, and peaceful, unlike literally every other time i see him. he doesnt scare me anymore, not really, not after five years of hating him and loving him and being afraid and arguing and attempting to dodge his fists on the more difficult days, i just find myself ignoring his existence unless he speaks to me first. i hardly spare a thought to him. hes nothing to me. but his cars.... they fascinate me. id almost forgotten about them for a long time. we used to do little projects together, back when i was still younger, before the incident, before he changed and i changed too. built a cage for my hamster, and my sister's too. built a stable for my action figures i had back then, little horses id been collecting since i was three years old. fixed my bike. he helped me with everything. taught me to sew the many holes in my clothes shut. gave me my first beer, way too early, i hadn't even reached double digits yet. i used to love him. and then i hated him. and then he became nothing to me but a bother.

my neighbor is different. it'd be a very big stretch to say he's been more of a father to me than my own, we hardly talk to each other as well, after all, but when we do, its always memorable. he fixes cars as well. he's my father's best friend, ironically, but theyre nothing alike. my neighbor is a nice, if a bit grumpy and stingy man that smokes pipes rather than cigarettes, gives me beers (and weed) freely and has the most well-trained, sweet dog ive ever seen. shes adorable, and whenever we have to take care of her because he's in the hospital again, she sleeps in my bed rather than the makeshift blanket bundle my mother puts on the floor for her. he trained and raised her himself. yesterday, when we were smoking weed together from his fancy little pipe, he gave me some advice. he said (or at least, he said roughly this, as i am not sure i remember it correctly, and i am also attempting to translate it from german into english) that "when you really want to do something, and you do it, without letting yourself be influenced by others, itll work out. if it doesnt, the question is if thats really what you want."

i still dont know if i want to be an author, or if i want to learn something about cars, or be a graphic designer or something entirely different. but i have time. im still only in 9th grade, and i do want to continue school until im at least in 10th or 11th. maybe ill look into the basic inner workings of a car tonight. maybe ill write another long-awaited chapter to one of my fanfictions. maybe i wont be able to sleep and do both. who knows. i wish i did.

[justalilpearlie]

Introduction/Fun Pearlie Facts

Was abt time I did one of these.

Hello everyone, my name is Pearl, Pearlie or Sam/Sammy if you're feeling like it. Friends also call me Martini sometimes.

I am a minor, my labels... we dont talk about them (fem presenting ftm gay/mlm + trying out gendervoid and verinix + bigender??) uhmm and I go by He/She, tho mostly He/Him by strangers- I can She/Her myself and close friends/mutuals are allowed! (I also go by neos: Void/Moon/Sweet/It/Fluff/Love/Fizz/Paw)

I'm from Argentina, born and raised, never moved. Speak fluent english and spanish.

I got the 'tism and the adhd, aswell as BPD and a few other things I wont list right now! But yeah I'm psychotic (ooo scary word.. lmao)

- -🌄-📀-🌙- -💚- -💛- -✨-🌄-✨- -💛- -💚- -🌙-📀-🌄- -

I'm an IRL of many, mainly c!Pearl (mcyt), Samuel Emily (fnaf [games canon]) and Shin Tsukimi (yttd). If you don't like it you can leave, block me, or whatever, cause you aint gonna change my life or how I am. I'm in therapy, which unlike random hate and harrassment online, does help me :)

I like to roleplay, draw, sometimes make playlists or moodboards.. And my biggest interests right now are Life Series (+ evo + new life), Empires1(+ a bit of e2) and FNaF! (i dont rlly like the books tho lol..)

I use kin tags for reach cause I'd love interaction from any fellow lifers or empires ppl, hermits aswell!! Tho I havent finished s8 or s9 yet...

Fictionkins, therians and traumagenic systems all welcome!

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DNI prefferably:

- Basic DNI criteria (proshippers, homophobes, transphobes, racists, TERFs, ableist, etc)

- Endos/non-traumagenic "systems" DNI. block me if u want, i wont argue abt it in the comments/reblogs. or interact if u want but im not gonna follow u back or anythin shrugs.

- reality checkers or anti-IRLs DNI. I aint "romanticizing" shit, I'm existing and living my life, if thats a problem to you too bad cause my psychologist aproves of what I'm doing, since I aint harming anyone and I myself am doing dandy.

- anti-kin also DNI cause most of my friends are fictionkins and if you talk shit abt my fellas idk i wouldnt like having u around much

CCs interact at your own risk. This is my domain, cyan man & moon lady. /hj

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"Disclaimer"

- I talk about MajorMoon (Scott x Pearl) a LOT, if u didnt notice by the acc theme. These are my romantic memories, its a gay ship, not woman/gay man, so if it makes u uncomfortable or u hate it or whatever then ur probably not gonna like my content lmao. COUGH, consider joining us if you do like what you see... /nf We're a small comunity of supporters.. just me.. and a few of my peeps... that was a joke, sir. /ref

- This isn't roleplay, its my main acc where im ""unapologetically"" myself, but if u do wanna rp life series/empires u can always shoot me a dm and maybe I'll give u my discord.

- I talk about myself (c!Pearl) using 3rd person in many posts tagged with main fandom tags. This is to cause less confusion to casual fans slash ""normies"" (lhj) that well.. don't know what IRLs are! Also that way I feel safer and don't have to worry as much abt getting harassed and such for my identity.

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Special People Mentions!! fps = * (1 or more.. wouldnt say in a priority sorta order but. more or less yea)

Family! <3 🌼@pehpurr* SISTER!! super duper cool, her art is great and you should check it out!! YOU. You're the brightest little girl (i say like ur not older than me) I'VE EVER MET ACTUALLY! You're so passionate and loving I freaking adore you!! I love you so much Scar, you're one of the best things to ever happen to me, Kanny &lt;3 ⚙️@gentlexmadman DAD!! you are my daaaad, you're my dad! woogie woogie woogie! ANOTHER amazing artist! mr "I know that guy-", very funny, Henry "Autism" Emily... the copper king, my father. Speaking to you is always comforting. Love you so much papa, you're amazing :)

Simply special <3 ☕@insomniac-coffeehouse** You're all simply so very special to me. I love spending time with you guys and playing stuff together, you mean a lot to me and I'm so glad I met you. I hope we're still close for this year and many more! You're incredibly talented, not only at art, at everything you do. You spark joy in my brain and my heart <3 From the bottom of my heart, I'm in love with the hope you bring to this world. 🍊Jack***, oh my dear Jacky, where do I even begin, sport... you really are my other half. Mi media naranja if you will. haha.. I love every second we spend together, I love your voice, I love your eyes, I love your smile, your laughter. I love your use of words, the way you speak, your humor, your seriousness and goofiness. You stiff fuck, you were made for me and I was made for you, and I wouldn't have it any other way. You're my everything, mi vida, mi luz, mi estrella. Mi amor, mi mundo. <3

New friends! 🍓@strawberrystarfield I know we met fairly recently but you're all incredibly fun to talk to, your art is also amazing, your accent is real pretty (cough for a bri-💥), you're real sweet and I love reading all your thoughts and critiques about things :} (love ya Aspen /gen) 🏜️@fagdykegtws My right hand man! I know we just met through the rarepair server but oh my god we're in the same brainwave!!! You're so fun to vc and chat with and you got the best ideas ever fr fr, love ya Chewy, you're real sweet even w how lil i know you ;)

That's it folks, love yall and see you around!

[wearequeer-andwearehere]

Hey, I'm sorry in advance that this is super long and feel free to ignore this ask if you can't or don't want to answer it, I appreciate being able to just rant somewhere anyway :) I am an aro-questioning ace girl, and I have been struggling to figure out if I'm arospec or not because there have been some people that I have gotten really attached to but I don't know if it was in a romantic way? There was this girl who I thought was really really pretty and her smile made feel so happy and warm and nervous inside. Even though there were other more "conventionally attractive" girls out there but I only felt this way around her... Maybe that was aesthetic attraction? I wasn't that close to her, but I wanted to talk to her and see her smile, and we didn't have anything in common but I still wanted to be close to her... I've NEVER felt this way for anyone else and I'm 18 and I know that it's common for alloromantic people to have felt at least very mild romantic attraction to more than 2-3 people by the time they're 18, and it's been 3 years since then, and I haven't felt this around anyone else, so I can't help that maybe I'm making up these feelings? Just so I could "have a crush"? Or maybe they're just strong platonic feelings? I guess I'm just looking for some sort of confirmation because honestly I can't deal with not having a label to put to my feelings, and I've tried going label-less for a long time. It was easy for me to figure out that I'm ace, cause I just heard the description and was like "oh shit, i thought everyone felt this way" but figuring out my romantic orientation is a whole other ordeal cause I don't want to kiss anyone ever, and wanting affection can be very much platonic, so I can't really differentiate between romantic and platonic attraction. I have one other aroace friend and they don't have the same problems, so I don't know.

Sorry for this being super super long

Anon Im slapping you in the face with a wet fish rn DON’T APOLOGISE!! THATS WHAT IM HERE FOR!! IM HERRE TO HELP YALL DONT SAY SORRY!!!!

Gonna be honest, that sounds like romantic attraction to me, but it could still be platonic attraction. My suggestion is talk to some of your alloro friends and ask them to describe what romantic attraction feels like to them, and see how close your experiences with this girl are to what theyre talking about.

Bestie I HIGHLY doubt you’re making up these feelings—why would you make up smth you’re having a whole ass crisis about?? Capital U Unlikely

Not everyone feels romantic attraction at the same time, even alloro people. I had friends who had crushes by 1st grade and I never liked anyone til 5th grade. Shit’s different for different people.

Honestly this is gonna sound very like facebook mom so I’m sorry in advance lmao but my advice is Just Chill. Like don’t get me wrong man I know exactly the kinda shit you’re going thru (I went thru the same thing w gender) like the whole anxiety hyperventilate I need to know what I am thing.

But you gotta fucking breathe dude. Inhale, exhale. Like. You may be aro, you may not be. And that’s okay. The more you try to frantically try and find a label the more confused and frustrated and mad you’ll get. So you gotta just let things be, yknow? Shit’ll fall into place eventually.

Like I used to frantically try and label myself like oh i’m genderfluid wait am I maybe I’m a demi boy maybe I’m genderfaun fuck what’s going on I feel like shit—then I realised it doesn’t fucking matter as long as I’m being myself, and not overthinking everyone to shit. I let mysrlf be, and then I realised oh shit, I’m a trans dude. Okay yknow what good for me, slay!

So here’s my advice. You like this girl—good for you, slay! Maybe it’s platonic, maybe it isn’t, but either way, you like her, so spend time with her. Don’t sweat it mate. If she makes you happy, whether it’s as a friend or as a potential girlfriend, be with her.

Hope I could help you out!!

[merouses]

Books Mero read, 2022 edition

As promised (to myself?) here’s a small review for all books and book series I read this year!

The Nightrunner series by Lynn Flewelling - This series. This FUCKING series. Its so fucking good. Its sooooo good!!! It’s 7 books in all (plus 1 collection of short stories) and they’re all at least very good. It can be intimidating since it’s a pretty long series BUT they’re all  pretty standalone still. My favourite turned out to be the 3rd book, as it best meshed the adventure and intrigue styles, which the other books tend to stick mostly to one of. My only critiques really are that some parts are really.... unpleasant to read, given the situation the characters find themselves in, and sometimes these parts reeeeally overstay their welcome. Book 4 Im looking at you(....I skimmed over like half of this book for this reason). Regardless of that though, these books are still great, the characters are amazing, and the many many times and ways Seregil and Alec were tastefully described as fucking was 100/10.

In Deeper Waters by F.T. Lukens - From great to bad. Ok maybe thats a bit harsh but this book is just uninspired and uninspiring, probanbly the most “young adult” of the books I read this year? Like, yeah its cute and all, and the romance is... fine? But nothing happens in this book. There’s one actual good moment that’s when the MC is kidnapped (not a spoiler, it’s in the synopsis) and that chunk of pages was actually engaging, but then... nothing. Or essentially nothing. The ‘mystery’ the book proposes is the barest of bones of one, and the ending absolutely sucked: a sudden problem solved by an even more sudden solution, all in less than 20 pages. Idk maybe this one really was just too juvenile for me, I imagine if I read it at like 12 or 13 I’d have liked it, or at least enjoyed it more.

The Fire’s Stone by Tanya Huff - This is another one that felt ‘young adult’, it’s very much a fantasy adventure book, if that makes sense. An unlikely band of heroes set out to defeat the bad guy, get the thing and save the land, yadda yadda. But... it’s pretty good! The unlikely heroes are all pretty likeable and their dynamic fun, the pacing’s pretty good, the setting interesting... Everything just clicked, really, this was a fun time.

The Last Sun, The Hanged Man & The Hourglass Throne (or, The Tarot Sequence 1,2&3) by K.D. Edwards - The harshest thing I can say about these books is that the author plans 9 of em and only 3 are out. I just. Really really loved these ones, the characters are great, the plots are fun, even if they get pretty dark sometimes (mostly on book 2)... They’re contemporary fantasy and, I’ll be honest, when I first picked up The Last Sun I thought I’d hate it. A lot of swearing, a lot of action-movie action, the mc loves his quips... honestly if I hadn’t known it was gay It’s not a book I’d pick up. But I was wrong! And everything works. The world created (where atlantis had revealed itself to the world and is now a modern day city with it’s own intricacies and conspiracies) is so engaging, it really shows its own culture and how it intertwined with today’s world. And very much today’s world, the 3rd book even brings up COVID. Really... I just can’t wait for the next books.

White Trash Warlock by David R. Slayton - I’m talking about this one right after the Tarot Sequence cause they feel very similar. Not really in terms of plot, but they feel both like offshoots of the same base idea of magic in the real current world, there’s probably overlapping inspiration there. And... it’s fine! I can’t really say why, but even though I liked this book well enough it just didn’t grab me like the other books I enoyed on this list did. Maybe it’s the pacing, maybe it’s my growing familiarity with gay fantasy (this is the last book I finished out of these) but it just... fell short I guess. Or maybe it’s the fact that really this book feels very.... “american”, in the sense that it’s really about some specific american things or experiences, I guess, and I’m not american. I can try and imagine everyone’s accent as described, sure, but it’s not bringing along the baggage that’s there if you know these places first or second hand. Can’t say I enoyed the very brief but unnecessary cliffhanger though ...but I’ll still read the rest of the series, and hope they get better.

Swordspoint by Ellen Kushner - This book is all intrigue, essentially, and I... liked it? I think? It has similar problems to In Deeper Waters, where nothing reeeally happens till it does all at once, but it managed that pacing much better than Waters did, first by having the nothing happenning actually feel like a buildup, slow as it was, and second by having the story be actually about politics and schemes and intrigue, so it warrants its own slowness. Most of these characters are assholes though.

The Watchtower by Elizabeth A. Lynn - Another slow one, but this time a proper slow adventure, rather than intrigue drama, I guess. I.... don’t really wanna talk to much about this one. It’s gay and it isn’t, it flows nicely, and everythings well painted but... it made me feel a lot of conflicting feelings which left me very down for several days, but I think that was because of personal feelings as to what happens here. So yeah. Idk. Can’t really say I disliked it but it doesn’t feel right to say I did, either. The title doesn’t really make a lot of sense though, that’s for certain.

Silver in the Wood & The Drowned Country by Emily Tesh - A duology of short books that can best be described as squandered potential. Man, I liked the first book. It’s short, its sweet, sure the pacings not that great and this  is definetly a fanfic that was repurposed into a book, but it’s good! It has a feel, the way the magic things, the wood itself is decribed is good, its intriguing, it made me think “oh thats a cool way to describe these things that are happenning!”. And then the second book just. Has the same characters, has the same magic things but. Does absolutely nothing with it. The interesting descriptions? Maybe a couple of passages but they don’t make up for the bad plot and pacing this time. There was the opportunity for a great ending, one which would actually made you feel things, but it dropped the ball so hard. Bleh.

A Marvellous Light by Freya Markse - This is the first book I read this year! And really, a great way to start. Its an edwardian fantasy with a veeery interesting magic system, a cool plot, good characters, if a tad tropey. I had a lot of fun reading this one! Part of that may be the posh englishmen suddenly talking about cock, and me getting sucker punched by eplicit sex scenes which I did exxpect. Either way, the sequel just came out and I’m excited to see if it can keep up with the first one. It’s apparently about lesbians, which is fun.

The Goblin Emperor by Katherine Addison - I think this is the only properly not gay book I read this year. That aside, I loved this book!!!! Like, a lot!!!!! The worldbuilding is really good, leaving a lot of space open for exploration, but it does lean heavily into fantasy mumbo jumbo, as in, boy does this book have a looot of hard names to remember. There’s a glossary of sorts at the end but most of the times I went to it for help, it didn’t have the word. That aside, it was enjoyable the whole way through. It’s another story of political intrigue and schemig, not a lot of action, but the pacing somehow still feels so fast!! It’s about the youngest son of the emperor, who had no training and no expectations of becoming emperor himself and surprise! The crown lands on his head, essentially, and then about how isolated he feels due to his new position and how he navigates his relations when there are so many epectations of him. Its really good. It almost seemed like unearthing treasure when I later found out that there are sequels and the sequels actually do have a gay main character. Read this book.

Small epilogue: I just got back into reading this year, after not really picking up a new book since around 2019? And man. Reading is great. Ive sincerely started feeling so much better, so much more creative since I got back into reading!! Im surprised I jumped right back into reading a book a week (almost) and honestly? Im surprised at how comfy it feels. Ah, reading. I’m sicerely glad that I did so.

And so the year ends! On to more gay stuff! If you read this, thanks!!

[azlovesem]

They dint punch hard enough for me. Thats why im sent to do the deadliest missions. People get a taste and theyre running in every direction. Its just like with my family i handle problems to my family. Ive had to once. Theyre very well behaved people thats why. Fir the most part. Teachers Workers budiness owners administrators lawyers solsiers i got em all. But its me they call. If they have to. Of course i aint mad at my baby. She never tobbed me shes wouldnt have in any situation. Real artists dont fo that to artists they admire. Shes gonna get a bonus and not even know exactly how but she ll see it anyway. I like to be subtle like that. I was like who this girl really and i found out ahe dint a girl shes quite a fine Lady. So how vould anyone even me fault someone like that. Especially ehen shes so cute. But i never met her she font owe me nutn and id rather guve than ever take a thing from her. There aint much but her own self she could show me that would impress me. I aint an old book or cartoon thats fairy tale murder compared to me. Im hear tight now in the flesh.king Azrael. Theres many spellings and pronunciations of my ancient name. Half n half the original kid Lethal is my host. An already deadly cat. Who likes to feed stray cats and was actually quite kind. Unlike this world as a whole. But the war will sort whose right out. Nobody talk. Nobodies more or less right around here just right in different areas. Together youre mpre tight than spart. Good luck convincing most of these morons of that. Thats what most of this stupid shit is over. Everyone wants to be the one in the right. In tge light so to speak. Maybe dark days all around will change that.i havent read a manifesto that wasnt false. Or a holy book gor that matter. I dont know what thise high on mother fuckers are talking about. All i can do is kill to contain them. Let them take shits at eaxch other and hope they cool it eventually. But its been firever now. Maybe i should let them start fighting yhen withdraw my support and gorces as backup. Let them settle this idiot fight once and for all. Well. Ive got a different war to go fight on. Dont take any shit from swine mother fuckers. This is slmost done. Oh anyone i take shots at i generslky like but do what. This isnt a popularity context its the final judgment of man.

ju

Margot Robbie photographed by Inez & Vinoodh for Vogue US in July 2019