#or he is JUST AS clueless

[xlillyle]

SKK relationship reveal but it's because Dazai wants to prank the agency and give Kunikida a stroke by announcing his relationship with one Nakahara Chuuya. Just that... no one is shocked or surprised and says "Oh yeah, we knew. Congrats" and Dazai goes "wdym you knew???"

Dazai, gleefully giggling: Kunikida-kun~ I have to tell you something~ Kunikida, not looking up from his laptop: What is it now Dazai. Dazai, grinning: I thought I should tell you that I'm in a relationship with Nakahara Chuuya, you know, the Port Mafia Executive~ Kunikida, readjusting his glasses and looking up with a serious face: Thank you for trusting me with this information, Dazai. I'm happy for you. Kunikida, looking back to his laptop: ... I already knew though. Now get back to work. Dazai: ?????

Dazai is like "ITS A PRANK!!! HAPPY APRIL FOO- wait NO???? that was NOT HOW THIS WAS SUPPOSED TO GO WE ARENT ACTUALLY DATING" and the ADA goes "uh huh. sure."

[jaybirbie]

DP x DC Prompt.

Deadserious

.

>Danny had a problem. He thought he handled it well. He couldn't tell his civillian boyfriend of his half-dead status.

He definitely couldn't let him find out by being summoned by some culty wannabes who wanted to rule the world.

Easy solution: Volunteer to be the sacrifice, turn his eyes green, and act like a Royal prick and powerful being. Get rescued by one of Gothams 50 vigilantes. And claim no memory.

Boom, secret identity underwraps.

He didn't expect everyone to treat him so fragile after.

>

Damian also had a problem. That problem, being his civilian boyfriend, was obviously possessed by a spirit of the ghastly ghost king and was utterly clueless about it.

And it was all his fault.

Danny Fenton was the next June Moore/ Enchantress. Except he was hosting one of the most powerful beings in the universe.

And that lovable idiot had no damn idea about it.

[jubileepizza]

The absolute crime that was Jack Harkness being a total enthusiastically knowledgable technology geek being written out of his character for torchwood. You wanna write a sex icon without his most attractive quality?? Come on now. Give the man his passion back.

[cringefail-clown]

post-canon/epilogues au, in which kankri, through paradox space shenanigans, gets revived and comes into his ultimate self, gathering knowledge from all of his past and future iterations - including the signless. now hes on a one-man mission to stop ult dirks plan to start another session of sburb in the bud

[kizzer55555]

The Vampire Aesthetic

Ok so Danny knows two billionaires personally and they really couldn’t be more different. Yet they had one thing in common. A vampire aesthetic. Sam is fully into goth. Spiderwebs, bats, the color black. She enjoys fangs and fake blood and the darkness of her soul. Meanwhile, Vlad is Vlad. If his name wasn’t enough, the dark clothing, pale skin, and flying around with a cape and fangs with coffins in his mansion really sells it.

Danny doesn’t know many rich people so he thinks this might be some kind of trend. (If Paulina is rich, her family likes the chupacabra) So he just thinks that all rich people have some kind of vampire thing going on.

Cue Danny somehow ending in the Wayne household. Maybe he was brought over as a friend of one of the bats, maybe rescued from a field trip/vacation gone wrong, maybe some other situation. But he is there in civilian form with civilian Waynes and Danny just takes a good long look around the inside of the mansion.

“So where’s the vampire aesthetic?

Everyone freezes.

Danny just starts looking around, checking behind paintings and feeling the walls for secret levers. Used to secret passages with Vlad and possibly Sam. The Fentons definitely had them when they were temporarily rich.

“Come on, I know you guys are hiding it.”

Cue the entire batfamily thinking that this is another Tim and that he is fully aware that these people are the batfamily. Danny hangs around the mansion more and the bats just start dropping their disguises and not even bothering to hide stuff around Danny because they assume he already knows. (Possibly even trying to recruit him to be a new bat) Meanwhile, Danny, who does not know these people are batman and his birds, just does not pick up on any of it.

He grew up in a health violation with a giant ballon observatory lab above his head and a portal to the afterlife in his basement. He is a half dead teenager who has tea with the god of time and his godfather is the other parent to his clone child. He’s used to death lazers being scattered across his home and mysterious stains on clothing.

People are weird! He doesn’t judge!

[rheakira]

Based on a conversation I had with a friend.

[datkat08]

Luffy, as blunt and oblivious as can be, shares his thoughts with no mind to how they may affect the people around him. “People” being Sanji, in this case.

Sanji let him stay in the kitchen while he made snacks for the crew because he promised to behave. Luffy watches from the dining table as Sanji slices into a fresh tangerine before speaking what’s on his mind.

“You know. Roronoa Sanji sounds pretty good.”

The cook nearly slices his finger off with how violently he jerks at that. He whirls around to face his mindless captain, knuckles turning white from his death grip on the knife. “I’m SORRY?”

Luffy doesn’t react. His tone remains even and thoughtful.

“Well you need a last name now, right? So take Zoro’s,” he says like it’s so obvious.

“Luffy, I can’t just—” he pinches the bridge of his nose. Maybe Luffy just doesn’t understand it. It’s no fault of his, the cook supposes, considering his less-than-typical upbringing. He sighs, trying to ignore the burning of his cheeks.

“Luffy. Do you know why people take other people’s last names?”

He nods. “Of course. It’s because they love each other and want to get married, right?”

Sanji stops breathing. What the fuck. So Luffy knew the whole time and yet he still— so that means he thinks that he and Zoro should—

…Someone please just end him.

[moodyvoid]

Dabi, walking into the hideout and seeing Mr. Compress, Toga, and Tomura all wearing cooking aprons.

Dabi: “… What are you doing?”

Mr. Compress: “Toga and I are teaching Tomura how to cook!”

Tomura: “I’m here against my will.”

Dabi: “Why?”

Mr. Compress: “Because it’s an important skill to have!”

Toga: “— and we saw him eating an orange earlier.”

Dabi: “So?”

Toga: “With the peel.”

Dabi: “What the hell?”

Tomura, grumbling: “Kurogiri always peeled them for me.”

Mr. Compress: “He tried to boil water in a pot by putting it in the microwave.”

Dabi, looking over at the destroyed microwave.

Dabi: “Wow, what an idiot.”

Tomura: “Shut up, Dabi. When was the last time you cooked something?”

Dabi, rolling his eyes: “I make instant cup soba all the time.”

Tomura: “How, exactly?”

Dabi: “I pour the water in and heat the cup in my hand until it’s cooked.”

Toga: “…”

Tomura: “…”

Mr. Compress, handing Dabi an apron.

Dabi: “Fuck.”

[signorcerullo]

CLUELESS (1995) dir. Amy Heckerling

[wotchernewt]

best scarian dynamic is when grian treats every vaguely romantic interaction like 4D chess while scar is completely checked out of all of that. head empty staring dreamily eating the imaginary pieces like it's a candelit dinner while grian is doing a death note monologue.

[messymoonmad]

Messy! I shall ask of thee one question! Do you think that antinoius would like fight tele when he had long hair and it’d just progressively gets gayer as they wrestle?

Lmfaoooo alright if we're gonna talk about this insane ship i'd rather have tele having a crush on antinous and antinous being clueless about it. Like yeah tele is the ultimate femboy he is undenyably pretty but antin doesnt have an actual crush on him. he usually thinks about CRUSHING him.

So when the prince starts flirting antin is just confused like

Antin : im gonna fuck your mom haha

Tele : how about you fuck someone your size instead >:(

Antin :.......... HUH?

[lovesickeros]

zhongli and neuvillette fighting over their reader 🤭🤭

scary dog privilege wherever you go, draconic courting gestures that would scare any regular person, they send each other deadly glares the moment you turn away,

stealing your clothes to just get a whiff of your scent, marking their territory all over your house - making it a battlefield basically, neuvillette (in my hc) is cooler and zhongli is warm so the cuddles are always so comfy ☺️😍,

they give you anything you want - you don't even have to lift a finger, they make you travel between the nations a lot though 😒 sooo clingyyy, extra gentle in their dragon forms as to not squish you, don't even get me started on the size difference 😍😍

just a little thought 🤭☺️

- 🐈‍⬛

Neuvi being colder is so real and canon. I see him as being colder + a lot more lithe, kinda lanky with smaller but sharper canines versus Zhongli who's warmer and a bit shorter then Neuvi + bulkier with bigger but not as sharp canines.

They've also got very different habits – Zhongli is very prideful not just of himself but his nation. He'll personally give your a tour and purposely drag it out as long as he can. Complimenting Liyue is basically complimenting him, checkmate Neuvi. Especially if he convinces you to try on some local Liyue fashion. Harmless and just a nice gift to anyone else but Neuvi sees it for what it is (since your wearing something from Liyue, technically wearing something of his. He loves his technicalities when it comes to staking a claim over you). Adds salt to the wound by touching you in totally innocent ways like to adjust you towards something he wants to show you or accidently brushing against you when he takes the bags of spoils he's practically drowning you in but really he's just making sure his scent sticks. He's just a sweet, nice gentleman with absolutely no ulterior motives trust.

Neuvillette does love Fontaine, but his habits are more about himself then the nation. He'll take you around if you ask or if the idea strikes him, but you'll probably stay around the making city area or the opera house specifically. He enjoys more personal time with just you and him then anything else. He values the immaterial to the material. Zhongli spoils you with gifts, but Neuvi tries to offer quality time irregardless of physical gifts (though he still gives them just not to the extent of Zhongli). He'll take you to see different operas if that's to your fancy, or leverage a bit of his authority to maybe see a few films since those seem to be hitting off in Fontaine recently. Bet that creaky old archon doesn't have those huh. He feels awkward if you want to watch a trial, but he'll reluctantly agree because. well. it's you. just don't wave or anything he's trying to work and he just Really wants to see you smile at him like that again and it makes him lose his train of thought. gets custom clothes designed by Chiori to replace your clothes from Liyue because they smell of Zhongli and it makes him sulky + he likes to match.

G-d forbid these two are in the same room as you because it's a war of attrition at that point. Constant accidental brush of the hand against your shoulder or elbow but it's just them trying to get rid of the others scent. they are side eyeing each other behind your back while being all smiles whenever your looking. If it's hot and you lean into Neuvi more he's practically GLOWING. not even smug he's just absolutely smitten and happy to be of service. immediately takes off his gloves and presses his hands to your face asking if your okay and if you want to go back with him. if it's cold out and you seek out Zhongli more hes smug as hell beneath the calm veneer. Offers you his coat and stay as physically close to you as he can under the pretense of being worried you'll catch a cold if he doesn't warm you up.

don't even get me started on your house either because you probably have tons of gifts from both of them accumulated everywhere. if Neuvi sees you use a tea set from Zhongli suddenly he had a fantastic gift idea he thought you'd like. he even got some tea included with it so why don't you let him make you some? Zhongli sees you using a goblet Neuvi gave you (totally a coincidence it's similar to his) and suddenly you have 27 square cups in your cabinets that you have no idea where they came from. if the goblet is mysteriously missing oh well. who knows :]

[lesbianjodie]

You know I've been thinking, like. Since the detco movies aren't canon. They should totally do a silly (actually really serious and interesting) one where the culprit actually IS a real monster a la some scooby doo movies, you know? And then let the franchise go on as normal but now we know how the characters would respond to having ghosts in their soup.

[oh-phoenixx]

"Smoke"/"Change" - Jegulus microfic @into-the-jeggyverse - 523 words

-

Regulus’s first Christmas at the Potters’ was not all that Sirius had made it out to be. Yes, they were kind and generous, yes, it was everything that he and his brother had dreamed of when they were little. But it was too much. It was too perfect. It was too good for him. 

At the moment, Regulus, Sirius, James, and James’s parents were sitting in the living room, drinking hot chocolate and watching muggle Christmas movies. 

“I’m going out for a smoke,” Regulus mumbled to his brother. He went into the hall and grabbed the cigarettes and the lighter from his jacket, and then stepped outside. 

He was leaning back against the wall, cigarette in hand, when the front door opened beside him. He had expected it to be Sirius, or maybe Fleamont, who had talked to him a few times and was actually quite easy to confide in. He hid the cigarette for a moment in case it was Fleamont, but instead, James came out and shut the door behind him. 

“Those things will kill you, you know?” He observed, like the genius he was.

“Really? I hadn’t heard,” Regulus muttered, taking another drag.

“Sirius smokes, too. I’ve tried to get him to stop, and Remus. You’re all hopeless,” James scoffed, though his tone was playful. 

Regulus didn’t say anything in response. He didn’t know why James was out here. Frankly, he didn’t care. He wished he was made for this type of thing, for Christmas and joy and a decent home. But he wasn’t, this wasn’t his life.

“I know it’s a lot,” James mumbled, his tone almost nervous now. “We’re a lot. It’s okay if it’s overwhelming for you. My parents won’t be angry if you need a break from it all.”

“What do you care what I need?” Regulus replied, glaring through tear-filled eyes, though at his feet so that James couldn’t tell.

“I care. I care a lot, actually. More than you let yourself believe, I imagine.” James was facing him fully, his shoulder against the wall and his gaze so fixed on him that Regulus could practically feel the weight of it. “Sirius might’ve acted like being here was heaven just to get you to stay with us, but it wasn’t easy for him, either. He didn’t feel like he deserved it. He was worried every second that our love for him was conditional, and at some point we would just…snap. Hurt him. It’s okay if that’s how you feel.”

“I’m fine,” Regulus bit. “It’s just too fucking bright and loud and- I don’t know what’s wrong with me, okay?”

“That’s okay, too. You’ll figure it out as you go. You don’t have to change yourself for your home anymore, Reg. We’ll change for you. We just want you to be comfortable.”

Something about the way he said this softened Regulus. By then, he had finished his cigarette. He dropped it and ground it under his shoe. When he looked back to James, soft hazel eyes met his, and he could have melted.

Maybe Regulus didn’t need to go back to Grimmauld Place for the summer.

[pilkypills]

I love suppositions of Thorin’s character that have him doing ridiculously roundabout and overcomplicated things to get affection and recognition from Bilbo. Its funny as hell but I do absolutely feel that he’d rather gift Bilbo a 500 line poem filled with deeply esoteric dwarven metaphors for love and bravery that make no sense to the outsider’s ear instead of just, say, putting his hand on that fucking hobbit’s shoulder and saying in no uncertain terms “dude I am in love with you”

[imperceiveable]

idk is this anything?