#or harm/pedophilic/etc ocd

[halfelven]

saw someone argue that writing about child abuse was wrong and anyone who did or even read about it ‘secretly liked it’ because why else would they think about it that much? and then go on to say you can’t argue that the book is fiction because ‘child abuse is real’ and… like in that case almost nothing would be fiction. theft exists so reading robin hood is a crime* etc.

a fictional story is ‘real’ because the topics are real. i would love to bring that up in one of my classes ngl. what at that point would define fictionality?

this post brought to you by Insomnia

*not that i think theft is necessarily wrong but that’s not the point of this post

[fuzzyfoe]

on your sideblog you sometimes reblog stuff about the harms of the purity culture in fandoms, how shame/punishment is ineffective, sometimes things are uncomfortable and thats fine, etc. stuff like that and it helps me alot because i get paranoid about expressing myself online bc people can be so hostile

Not gonna lie, reading the first half of this ask put me on edge a bit because I know how people are lol.

I'm glad I was somehow able to help someone feel a little more at ease online! I feel like Tumblr has been starting to get a lot better of an attitude about this than it used to have years ago due to the userbase having matured, but it could just seem like that due to me having moved accounts and re-following only the people who were more normal about this sort of thing though.

When I was diagnosed with OCD as a child I mostly had the more stereotypical kinds of symptoms relating to symmetry and cleanliness back then, but as I grew older and overcame those kinds of symptoms through meds and therapy it began to manifest more in the form of how other people see me online and whether I'm secretly a pedophile or some shit instead. This caused me to parrot some pro-censorship shit I saw online as a teenager out of fear of seeming "suspicious" to the artists I had a parasocial relationship with at the time, and to the people I talked to online who were queer and neurodivergent in the ways that I was that nobody who I knew at school was.

Believe it or not it was actually my parents who helped me get out of this mindset. I think my brother was showing my dad some meme, I chimed in about how I heard some person who was involved in the meme drew nsfw art of a fictional character who was a minor, and my dad responded with something along the lines of "how does that matter? the child is only fictional" and I was basically taken aback by how my own father had basically just defended loli. In response I told him every argument I had heard from "antis" online about lolisho and he explained to me why each one of them was bullshit one by one.

For the longest time after I was still afraid to speak my mind on anything because I felt like I had basically built my entire social circle around these types of people. A lot of things I was interested in at the time had fandoms that were full of people who would loudly complain about how horrible proshippers were. What if I lost all my friends? What if it became impossible to make any new friends due to everyone blocking me? What if it became impossible to see any of the kind of art and fandom stuff I liked anymore due to everyone blocking me? What if nobody would interact with or care about any of the art I posted anymore? What if I had no other way to fulfill my social needs anymore? I even became afraid of the friends I actually knew irl, because we were still all in the same online circles and they would've been exposed to the same rhetoric as I was.

As you can see now I have gotten better from this to the point where I now openly reblog posts relating to this sort of thing on my sideblog which can be accessed from my pinned post on this blog. The funny thing is, nobody seems to actually read pinned posts or do any background checks to the extent I was always paranoid that people did on here, because I keep getting an influx of new followers with people who have "proship dni" in their bio lmao. I guess publishing this ask will be rent-lowering gunshots.

[pantomime-act]

Mime

he/they + neos

Fictive of a OC of our friend @clemsels

About The Body

We are bodily 19, white, intersex, and bodily disabled (physical and mental), including C-DID, autism, NPD, ASPD, OCD, language disability, etc. We're mid-high support needs.

More about Mime and the blog

🤷

Tags

Mime is acting :: general talking tag

Mime is rbing :: rb tag

Mime puts on a show :: ask tag

Dad mention :: stuff about Joker

Mom mention :: stuff about Harley Quinn

DNI + BYF

This is a sideblog so we can't follow you through this blog

This blog is explicitly safe for anyone of any religion and/or culture

I'm against the glorification of abusive, pedophilic, incestual, and zoophillic relationships. However, I'm also "live and let live"/"ship and let ship". You're not harming anyone irl? Cool. I'll just block and move on

If you're anti-kink... Wtf 🤨 I feel like especially if you're queer. How tf are you gonna be against the people who helped fight for your right to exist

Narc abuse doesn't exist. It's just an ableist term for psychological abuse that instead of blaming the abuse on the person, blame it on a disorder they most likely didn't have (and no, them being self-centered does not mean they have NPD)

Pronouns don't equal gender

I'm pro-mogai

I, obviously, love neopronouns and nounself pronouns

I'm pro-agere and agere is not a kink (but also, ageplay is a completely fine kink to have and doesn't inherently harm anyone)

( dividers are made by @sister-lucifer here )

[momentsofamberclarity]

don't call me nonnie.

i know that not all proshipping is sexual, but it's still portraying pedophilia/incest positively

the bullet point lists were because i just wanted to separate each sentence into a different point because they were all sort off disconnected

the "they're just pixels" argument doesn't work because every single thing you see on a screen is a bunch of pixels if you zoom in, with that logic every image posted online is "just pixels", including actual csem

Fine, I won't call you that. But riddle me this, anon; why am I showing you more respect than you're showing me? Why have you told me to go fuck myself multiple times in place of having a discussion?

Here's the thing ... the only way you will find csem is if you go looking for it. You are not going to find csem on tumblr because it would break community guidelines. But fictional characters under the age of 18 do not count as csem and numerous child protection services have stated that those are just art.

Likewise, the only way you're gonna find fanfiction of 'kids being raped' as you keep putting it, is if you're trying to be a white knight and seek those writers out purposefully so that you can harass them like you're doing with me. Because most of the proshippers I know tag their stuff so that it can be found by the target audience and blacklisted by the people who don't want to see it.

And here's the thing about proshipping which I think is the biggest hurtle of the anti community. Proship doesn't mean 'I support active sexual predators hurting real living children'. 'Pedophile' as a term is meaningless at this point because everyone on the internet uses it to describe anyone they disagree with. You're better off using predator and paraphile. Predators are the dangerous people who don't give a shit about fiction because they have full-intent to harm others. But the majority of paraphiles? They're no-contact and/or fiction-only on their paraphilias, or they do consenting adult things with their consenting adult partners that are roleplaying with boundaries set in place for a reason.

I've been on the internet since before the term 'proship' even popped up. Back before that we called it Dead Dove, Don't Eat and Don't Like, Don't Look. 'Proship' as a term has the same meaning as those old ones, it's just shorthand. It means 'I support the rights of others to ship whatever they want in their own space regardless of whether or not I like or condone it because I don't know them and it does not involve me'. You don't like the content? You have a block button and you are encouraged to use it to curate your own online experience just like the artists and authors posting that content are.

The fact that you're still here means you're hearing some of what I'm saying and possibly having a hard time coming to terms with it. Believe me, I went through a period of morality crisis between my bpd and ocd telling me that fiction could affect reality and I thought that thinking bad things ( like intrusive thoughts ) made me a Bad Person. But thoughts are just thoughts.

So if you want to come off anon and actually have a conversation with me, I promise I'm not going to name-drop you. The purpose of this blog has only ever been about clearing up misconceptions about proshippers and paraphiles because I used to be uninformed about those topics myself until my partner and another super close friend explained them to me in a way that I could comprehend. And that is that thought crime doesn't exist. And fictional characters don't have autonomy and therefore cannot be abused by your thoughts, your art, your writing, etc.

But if we did away with fictional expression of paraphilias in a healthy artistic manner ( like KOSA is currently trying to do ), the world would be a more dangerous place for potential victims, because paraphiles and predators are always going to exist whether you choose to accept that or not. My own abusers never faced charges, only one of my partners' abusers is rotting in jail, and that is the reality of this fucked up world that we're living in. People with niche fetishes aren't monsters - most are even too embarrassed to talk about them. Active sexual predators online who hop into the DMs of minors to be creeps are a real world problem. And that has nothing to do with the proship community's philosophy of 'ship and let ship'.

[the-666-system]

Hey, we're the 666 system. I'm the host, Blaze (🔥). We're a traumagenic introject heavy HC-DID system with a headcount of possibly around 50. We are neurodivergent, chronically ill, and disabled, so please be patient with us. This blog is gonna be, like, 80% venting lol. We're very switchy and have severe amnesia, so don't be upset if we forget things easily.

This is how we look bodily, except we don't have our wheelchair yet! Our parents are ableist and claim we don't need one even though we have chronic pain.

We are collectively an intersex, trans, alterhuman, bisexual, emo, psychotic, machiavellian, narcissistic, psychopathic irl yandere.

We also are pro Health At Every Size and are a fat activist. We won't give specific numbers since we are recovering from an ed, but we are on the smaller end of superfat on the fatness spectrum.

Frequent Fronters

Blaze (He/They/It)

Tomie (She/They/Spiral)

Ayano (She/They/Love)

Misa (She/They/Shinagami)

Foxy (He/Ship/Gold)

Dylan/Vodka (He/Him)

Alastor (He/It)

Angel Dust (all pronouns)

Gloomy Bear (It/Its)

Yuri (She/Her)

Sayori (She/Her)

Toby (He/Tic/Blood)

Mental Disorders :: HC-DID, DPDR, C-PTSD, Schizoaffective Bipolar type, OLD, Cotard's Syndrome, Adele's syndrome, Clinical lycanthropy, Renfield's Syndrome, pyromania, kleptomania, insomnia, panic disorder, social anxiety disorder, OCD, substance use disorder, anorexia (in recovery)

Neurodivergencies :: Autism, selective muteism, ADHD, Tourette's syndrome, MaDD, NPD, BPD, ASPD, HPD, PPD, hypersexuality, ARFID, Pica, synesthesia

Physical Disorders :: Lupus, Fibromyalgia, CRPS, ME/CFS, POTS, hEDS, endometriosis, PCOS, PGAD, Narcolepsy, Cystic Fibrosis, epilepsy, hemolacria

We are officially diagnosed with everything physical except Tourette's (only a few alters have it), as well as our social anxiety. Everything else is heavily researched self diagnosis.

Hyperfixations :: Yandere Simulator, My Chemical Romance, Satanism, demons, witchcraft, Creepypasta, Hazbin Hotel, DDLC

Special Interests :: Junji Ito manga, Death Note, psychology, Cannibalism, True crime, RAMCOA

Our tags

Hey emo boy! 🔥 our random posts

I've grown tired of this body 🔥 trans stuff

I bet on losing dogs 🔥 venting

Crawling back to you 🔥 yanposting

Who is in control? 🔥 sys stuff

Somewhere only we know 🔥 alterhuman things

Burning pile 🔥 asks

Byf :: we are not shy about talking about our trauma and struggles, but we will always put warnings. Please block our personal vent tag if this is triggering for you.

We do not give a fuck about syscourse, endos can interact, anti endos can interact, whatever. But if you use FDC or r/systemscringe and you make the mistake of posting OUR SYSTEM?? Yeah, you're gonna get bitten.

Pedophiles, fults, Christians, and anyone who is "transharmful" dni, we went through RAMCOA, cult abuse, and CSA, and your presence will trigger panic attacks. Paraphiles (other than MAPs) who are anti contact for harmful paras are chill.

Winterqueers, kandiqueers, LSDqueers, basedqueers, Xenosatanists, etc. and any fuckwit who posts on FDC/systemscringe, or claims ramcoa is a "conspiracy" FUCK OFF!!!!!

[shadow-unique]

🐜INTRO🍵

Tw: mention of homophobia, pedophilia, zoophilia, and swearing

Hello this is my intro 😄

I'm still getting used to Tumblr since I was too lazy to use it back then and usually just look at art

Anyway let's start with the DNI list:

•General DNI's (Groomers, pedophiles, etc. etc.)

•MAPS (pedophiles) and maps supporters

•Proshippers (both new meaning and old meaning; I don't want you guys here idc if y'all are anti harassment just please leave me alone) and neutrals

•DARKSHIPPERS

•Some comshippers (I'm fine with most like I'm fine with monster x human ships, I'm mostly fine with lightships)

•Profics/Pro-fiction

•Radqueers (I'm not counting transspecies as radqueer because it's not really that bad and it's mostly like therians and alter humans so it ain't counted)

•Anti selfship

•Anti oc x canon

•Lolicon/Shotacons

•Zoophiles

•Anyone under the age of 14

•Homophobes/Transphobes (any phobes against LGBT unless you just have a fear of them and don't hate on them)

•Anti furries

•Anti therians

•Anti Xenogender and Xenopronouns

•Anti Neopronouns and Neogender

•People who hate on mental disabilities

•People who hate on everything

•Anti rarepairs

•Anti poly

•IRL yandere

•RCTA

•Anti aro/acespec

•People who romanticize/sexualize/justify: zoophilia, incest, abuse, and pedophilia etc.

•Harmful paraphiles (non-contacts depends I'm still pretty uncomfortable with you I'm sorry)

•Ableists

•Racists

•Sexist

•People who are problematic or supports people who are problematic (it's fine if you only like their works and not their actions and don't actually support them)

•People who force religion on others

•Ageplay and petplay

•Anti agere and petre

•Anti alterhumans

•Anti non-humans

•Anti people who have cluster b disorders or anyone with disorders

•Anti yumeshipping

•Anti MOGAI

•Anti microlabels

If you are any one of these please block and leave me alone! But you can still look at my work just don't interact or make a video or post about it

I probably forgot some but I'll add it once I remember

Anyway...

⭐🌟⭐🌟⭐🌟⭐🌟⭐🌟⭐🌟⭐🌟⭐🌟

×My name is Unique (not my actual name of course)

×You can also call me Yun or Hyun (Hyun because Yun means 'there' in my native language and I might get confused)

×I'm a minor

×I'm an Anti 🐜🍵 (just letting you know but I'm pretty sure you already do, I'm not trying to flex it I'm just letting you know)

My gender and sexuality:

-Genderfluid/Agenderfluid and stargender

-Cupioromantic

-Asexual (most likely aegosexual)

-May be recipromantic or aegoromantic

-May be transmasc (no surgery because I literally cry at the sight of a syringe)

-May lean more on Agender/non-binary/xenogender

-May have xenogenders like stargender and more space related ones

-Uranic and androsexual

-I may also be fictoromantic and fictosexual

(I mostly feel Aesthetic attraction, Alterous attraction and Platonic attraction with a side of Limerence)

My preferred pronouns (not in any order):

-She/They/Them (no her)

-Star/Starself

-Moony/Moonself

-Void/Voidself

-He/him/they/them

-I mostly like they/them or he/star

-or any (except her or its/it, I like its/it and sometimes feel like using it but I know people will just it as an insult)

Facts about me:

×I'm Filipino 🇵🇭 (UY PHILIPPINES‼️)

×I make oc art and lore

×I'm not great at art or drawing or writing but I try my best

×I may have maladaptive daydreaming, autism, ADHD, and ocd but I'm not sure since I'm undiagnosed and I don't like self diagnosing because I ain't sure about it

×I'm forgetful

×I'm not great socially

×I may sometimes sound rude but it's not always my intention

×My favorite colors are pastels but mostly pink, yellow,blue, purple, gold and black

×My favorite fruit is banana

×I'm kinda broke (I'm very broke)

×I love cartoons

×I think my brain hasn't matured yet it still thinks I'm 8-12 years old (I'm not)

×I'm very very sensitive 🥲

×I'm easily angered so I'm sorry in advance 😓

×I'm very much a yapper so get used to reading big chunks of texts and long videos

×Despite being a yapper I have a hard time explaining or writing things so I'm sorry in advance

[night-willows]

My brain has decided that Asakura is trans for some reason and I am using that as an excuse to infodump about him again (Also just how Asakura’s character pertains to societal gender roles. And it just kind of devolves into a general Asakura character analysis somewhat because I got sidetracked)

CW: spoilers as they pertain to Asakura’s character (including true route spoilers), all the potentially triggering themes of Asakura’s character (talking about pedophilia and POCD/OCD in general mostly and religious theming), discussions of transphobia and gender dysphoria, talk about sex as it pertains to POCD and gender dysphoria, one minor clean dishes spoiler randomly mentioned because this goes on far too many tangents lmao

Hyperfixated on Asakura again and the brainworms have started telling me he’s transgender because my music taste lately is mostly that specific genre of loud music made by transfems (Ada Rook, Black Dresses, Stomach Book, etc) and too many of their songs fit him. Songs that are about being discriminated against for being trans fit his story because transphobes see us as predators. ANYWAY my brain got confused about this and now will not stop making up more reasons why he is trans coded so I am going to explain myself to the probably two people who will get it. For context I am coming at this as a trans man myself and someone who generally thinks a lot about gender roles in society because of that! Also! I list the songs that made me think this at the bottom of this post so if you just want to skim through my lengthy infodump and scroll to the bottom to listen to those to get an idea of what the hell I’m talking about you can!

First off. His gender is exactly this to me

I think he’s some sort of agender/nonbinary and does not know!! I don’t know when he’d have the time to figure it out he’s going through a lot!! That is why I am mostly still going to use he/him throughout this post, for sake of ease (hard to talk about a character in a fandom using different pronouns than the rest of the fandom uses for them) and also I don’t think he’d get dysphoric about pronouns, if he ever WERE to figure it out imo he’d use any pronouns. I think he mostly gets dysphoric about the societal role of a man being forced onto him when it feels so unlike who he truly is. I mean specifically the societal role of all men being awful, capable of horrible crimes, people to be afraid of. Now I know people who say things like “all men are evil” are people who have been harmed by misogyny/the patriarchy and are aware that it’s not LITERALLY all men who are bad people. BUT there are people like Asakura who this stigma affects badly too, he’s got a terrible case of harm ocd, hearing people say shit like that while being seen as a man is obviously gonna get to him. That coupled with how many people are afraid of HIM because of the rumors, he can’t distance himself from that and tell himself he’s a good man so he’s not who they’re talking about. He’s the kind of man they hate, he’s the kind of man they’re afraid of, and he hates being seen like that more than anything. Now obviously this narrative could be true and he could still be a cis man but. I just think it makes it so much more interestingly fucked up if this role of a man was just thrusted on him since he was born and he spent his whole life being told he was a man by everyone around him and just accepting that but deep down it never really felt right. I mostly think it’d make sense if he was agender, but the type of agender who could go their whole life not knowing it because they are content enough with letting people perceive them how they wish. Except, he’s not content with it anymore because his thoughts about being perceived as a man are getting so wrapped up in his thoughts of being perceived as a pedophile that he’s just started to hate both of them? Most of this is unconscious, he doesn’t think about it hard enough to realize but this IS what his gender dysphoria looks like for him. I also think in general he is VERY sexually repressed, because it’s hard for him to think about sex at all without accidentally getting intrusive thoughts about children and then he ends up distressed and in an ocd thought spiral about it so he copes by just… avoiding anything sexual entirely as much as possible because he doesn’t want that to happen again. This is something I thought about before but I think it can pertain to gender dysphoria too? Lots of trans people will feel sex repulsed sometimes when the dysphoria is bad, because there’s societal gender roles placed on our bodies and what kind of sex we’re “supposed” to have with them and it can just… get too icky to think about for too long when you are in a bad headspace. Asakura’s idea of that is just even further skewed by the fact that his ocd is making him see being seen as a man sexually as being seen as a future sex offender and he cannot handle that thought at all, so this specific type of dysphoria is very extreme for him. Note that people with intrusive thoughts like this and with dysphoria can of course still be sexual sometimes when they are in a healthier mindset but. I think at the time in his life we see Asakura in canon his pocd is at its worst so he’s not really getting many breaks to have a good mindset. I think he needs to go to therapy and unlearn all this shit and get medicated so that he can start to heal!! I think that’d help out his mindset on all this stuff and how he sees gender A LOT to the point that he might even get enough insight to actually figure out his gender. Even if he’s not a man the way he views being seen as one isn’t healthy whatsoever, and I think working on the ocd aspect there would help with the dysphoria aspect too.

I also think he was at least a little bit groomed by that college professor of his and has trauma from that and that’s affecting how he views men too. That man was someone’s he respected and viewed as a good man, and that view of him was ripped to shreds and completely betrayed as he LITERALLY TOOK HIM TO A CHILD BROTHEL AND COERCED HIM INTO CUTTING A CHILD WHILE HE WAS TOO DRUNK TO KNOW WHAT HE WAS DOING. This event is what traumatized him into developing pocd in the first place. It showed him that even “good” men can turn out to be horrible on the inside. So what if that’s true of him too? Even now that he’s moved to Shinkoumi and is seen as a “good man” by most of his patients and their families what if he’s lying to all of them? Misleading them like his professor did to him? Pocd is often developed due to past trauma from this type of grooming. How far it went outside of canon material can be left up to the imagination but. Even strictly going by only what we know, he learn that the teacher he looked up to he found out was likely a pedophile (why else would he know of that place? I think it was implied he probably went himself before?) and tried to rope him into it, using his respect for him to his advantage to get his inhibitions down and manipulate him into doing something horrible. Even just that is traumatic as hell.

ALSO let me tell you about how I think the societal role expected of a woman, especially when paired with the purity culture aspect that comes from Christianity, fit his character too. I think I might need to tell you about my dad first?? A lot of this aspect of my headcanon is inspired by my dad, I can explain it better if I explain how it relates to them. So, my dad is genderfluid, and repressed this and any sort of queerness in general until their mid/late 40s due to how they were raised. They only realized they were genderfluid after I came out as trans and they did a lot of research on trans people to be as supportive as they could be to me, and accidentally found out that THEY related to a lot of this too. Anyway, they strongly associate their feminine side WITH their role as me and my sister’s parent. They were the stay at home parent, they took care of us and played the stereotypical role of a mother, so they’ve always felt more like a mother to us than a father. They saw their femininity in their caring parental nature, and that’s EXACTLY why I connect Asakura to that same type of femininity, especially being in his 40s and repressing his identity so hard he hasn’t figured it out yet too. I don’t know I just love my dad so it makes me sympathize hard with older queer people just starting to figure things out. Anyway. BASICALLY this part of the headcanon/how Asakura’s character pertains to gender roles is talking about how a woman in society is seen as a caregiver and protecter of children. The exact opposite of how Asakura’s mentally ill brain is boiling down the role of a man as someone who will HURT children. And like. Asakura has such strong instincts to want to protect children I think?? I know he tells Towa he doesn’t want to have kids, but he would have made a great parent and I think he would have WANTED kids, if it weren’t for the pocd. I think he could still get a lot of fulfillment out of that if he was ever able to heal enough to care for a child without hurting his own mental health and putting the child at risk. Like.. obviously I don’t think he’s going to act on his intrusive thoughts but. He can’t be a good caregiver if he’s having them and getting distressed because of his child constantly and maybe trying to avoid interacting with them out of fear. ALSO you saw what happened to Hayato when he was circumstantially thrown into taking care of a child at his worst, he got so delusional about the angel thing that he almost tried to sew wings into him (I think the angel thing is an extreme case of a compulsion to the pocd, if he convinces himself he sees children as pure angels it calms his intrusive thoughts/obsessions about them.) Anyway while I think he did this because he was so unwell that he legitimately thought it was the only way to protect him from him from himself, Hayato still almost got really hurt and Towa, while consensually, DID get hurt. So like Asakura would need to do a LOT of healing before ever being responsible for a child most definitely.

But… he does genuinely love children in a normal way, he cares about them a lot. Why do you think he chose to dedicate his life to their care as a pediatrician? Why do you think he tried his best to take care of Hayato when his mother left him with him, even when it was making him feel horrible? That parental/motherly nature of his is the reason he couldn’t let himself just abandon Hayato too when he needed him. I think he didn’t want to be around him any more than he had to of course, I think he only meant it to be a short term thing and was trying to find someone better fit to take care of him because he was scared of what he’d do to him and trying to protect him from that. But Shinkoumi is a dystopian hell and they probably don’t have many good systems set up for orphans. There’s the facility that Shiro grew up in? I guess? But they didn’t seem all that great at like actually getting the kids adopted lmao they just sent him to live on his own at 13. I don’t know if there’s any proper fostering system and I wouldn’t be surprised if even orphanages like Shiro’s were few and far between. Even when Hayato DOES eventually get sent somewhere it’s on the mainland. Asakura was probably having a hard time finding anything and too paranoid to ask for help and get others involved. And… maybe a little worried about if they’ll actually take care of Hayato properly and not just neglect him? And he cares about him and doesn’t want to have to abandon him now that Hayato’s gotten attached to him right after his mother did? And the harm ocd might be spiraling about that too because he knows that that abandonment and being sent to a neglectful orphanage WILL traumatize him and he is just left paralyzed and unable to make a decision on what is best to do because the kid NEEDS a parent, and that’s not an option, but he is seeing Asakura as his parent now and he wishes he could be that for him but he can’t. Hayato’s mother abandoned him and gave him to him, maybe he could be the new mother? Or play the role of a mother? At least for a little bit until he gets someone else to take care of him? I think he tried his very best to do that in the time Hayato was under his care. I think he knows how to take children well, I mean he went to medical school specializing in pediatrics, I’m sure that talks about general childcare at least a bit. He has to know how to tell parents how to care for their children properly, I’m sure he knows enough to take care of a kid himself at least short term too.

ANYWAY I am getting sidetracked just. Also the purity culture part, a lot of Asakura’s character is about wanting to be pure and good in a religious kinda way? Of course purity culture can affect anyone but it’s especially bad in women growing up in religious environments so that’s the connection there. Women are expected to be pure because misogyny. While I think the motherly/caring feminine association reflects his genuine self, the purity culture side of it reflects the compulsions he engages in to convince himself that IS his genuine self and not the “evil man” perception people put onto him. Asakura’s entire character is way more interesting if you look at everything through the lens of an ocd cycle of obsessions and compulsions. The fear and paranoia about being a pedophile is the obsession, the fixation on being “forgiven” and seeing children as angels and wanting to create an angel is the compulsion. So my thought process is wouldn’t it be so cool if I made Asakura’s entire character a metaphor on societal gender roles too?? Using how his pocd functions AS that metaphor?? Being seen as and therefore believing he is a horrible evil man is the obsession, wanting to be a good pure Christian girl and repress any sexual thought (the intrusive ones AND any of them outside of that because he’s started to believe those are evil too), to validate the person he truly is is the compulsion. No this isn’t like “being trans is ocd.” Obviously. It’s a metaphor. I’m using Asakura as a metaphor for being trans. Again I don’t think he consciously thinks about this shit this is just an unconscious thought process that relates to the rest of his character and the rest of his character is mostly about having pocd. AND this is why I feel like it fits him best to truly be agender/nonbinary instead of JUST a woman either. He’s been raised in a society with strict gender roles and is just fixated on both of these roles in different ways while he’s not really either. I DO think he has some femininity to him but in a nonbinary sorta way, like not ALL of that role is fake but like. He needs to unlearn how he sees gender so bad. But I mean he DOES have feminine aspects of his design in canon he has pretty long hair and pretty long eyelashes lol. Do you see it. I’ve been calling him my wife for months now just because. He just has a feminine aura about him I hope by now you get what I mean.

BUT the issue is that trans people, especially transfems are seen even MORE as just horrible predatory men trying to groom children by our society at large (and transphobia and Christianity DOES have a big overlap unfortunately, it fits the theming) so… he can’t just accept he might be anything but a cis man even when he hates being a man without being a type of person that’s seen even more as a possible threat to children. He can’t be a good Christian girl because he wasn’t born as a girl so it’s a lose lose situation until he gets THERAPY FINALLY. Get Asakura a good therapist and ocd meds and hrt he’ll be happier trust me. Does this make sense. Has anyone even read this whole post I know it’s really long and the fandom doesn’t care about him. If you got this far have I converted you to my trans Asakura brainrot let me know. Anyway! Songs! Here are the songs that are about being trans or gender roles and also about Asakura to me! (Some are just VERY Asakura coded and by trans people tbf but like. They also have religious theming and/or talk about being discriminated against and shit which I’ve explained in detail how I’m using as a metaphor as gender roles for him so…)

Songs that ARE directly about being trans:

Animals-STOMACH BOOK

FUKUONA GIRL-STOMACH BOOK

Boogieman-Baby Bugs

CREEP U-Black Dresses

Songs about related themes by these same trans artists (Black Dresses is a band Ada Rook is in btw):

Devils-STOMACH BOOK

Pure As A Lamb-Baby Bugs

Angels-Baby Bugs

You Can’t Hide- Baby Bugs

COWARD 2 COWARD-Ada Rook

999999999 IN A DREAM-Ada Rook

PURGATOR3Y MODULATION ENGINE-Ada Rook

SHARP HALO-Black Dresses

This is. The direct result of getting a hyperfixation on Stomach Book’s music last month. Did y’all even know that the song Fukuona Girl that was all over reels platforms as a popular audio a while back was about being trans? And it just uses the lyrics about the infamous Fukuona Shoujo gif where the little anime girl gets flayed alive as a metaphor? For being discriminated against for being trans because maybe transphobes want to do that to us? I ALSO think the theming of the gorey anime girl part fits super well for Asakura’s intrusive thoughts though especially since she looks young. It can also be about him being tormented by his intrusive thoughts. Is he the fukuona girl or are his intrusive thoughts? Kind of both? (I’m aware this song def fits Towa too lol but shh it can be a little bit about Towa tormenting Asakura his entire chapter and the parallels between how their stories connect and Asakura’s entire mental illness being spawned off of what he was manipulated into doing to Towa as a child and how he gets intrusive thoughts about that and stuff too)

Oh my goodness this is so long. I’m sorry I’m super hyperfixated on Asakura right now and also maybe having a manic episode? I’m not sure yet but it’s made my brain feel like it’s on 2x speed and I NEED to be rambling like this about everything all the time all week so. We’ll see what my therapist thinks lmao

[garpond]

I'm not the first person to say this either but genuinely a lot of people who are convinced they're pedophiles and seek help for it aren't actually, but instead have OCD on the subject and their intrusive thoughts are obsessive rumination about whether or not they could potentially harm a child. This is misunderstood SO frequently as to be viewed as legitimate pedophilia in a huge amount of cases, which can be so distressing to the person with OCD that they withdraw from society entirely and/or kill themselves despite being entirely innocent. I have OCD and it runs in my family and I have a loved one who struggles with this theme, so it's always where my mind goes when people discuss "self identified pedophiles who stay away from children and manage their condition" etc. I genuinely wonder how many of them are completely harmless people who have a severe mental illness that makes them feel compelled to live this way, because they don't understand that their "attraction" is just OCD intrusive thoughts.

[theblackdog552]

I'm curious about having pro-contact in your dni but you being pro paraphile. would it not be easier to say maps/pedos dni? or are you okay with people who identify as pedophiles interacting with you?.. its strange to not make that distinction when proshippers are so often made out to be pedophiles

writing this as a proshipper by the way

So my stance is that im ok with paraphiles as long as they stay away from stuff they’re attracted to like children, animals, corpses, etc. a lot of people dont chose to be paraphiles, just like how people with ocd dont chose to have intrusive thoughts and adhd people dont chose to be hyperactive. I dont have maps/pedos dni because i dont hate pedos, i hate pedos who harm children.

[anachronic-cobra]

I see a lot of explanations of OCD on tumblr, but the thing is that they all tend to be from the POV of someone with an internal monologue. It's frequently questions, "what if I'm a pedophile" or "what if I hurt my family" or "what if I left an appliance on when I left for work and burned down my house with my pets inside".

I do not have an inner monologue, I never got to see myself in these descriptions. I didn't know that the problem I was having was OCD until I finally gathered the courage to talk to my therapist about it.

So for those of you without an inner monologue, here are some of the ways OCD intrusive thoughts can occur in my own experience and from my therapist's explanations:

Unwanted mental images that you can't shake

The sudden urge to do something that greatly distresses you

Mental echo chamber - an idea that stresses you out but keeps repeating more and more intensely, regardless of how or why the thought occurred

The sudden fear that someone you love has been harmed in some way and you aren't there for them

The idea that you are faking your identity and are actually gay/straight/etc

Worry that you may have or will have serious medical conditions, with or without symptoms

These thoughts generally don't seem to go away until you perform some action to make them stop - that's the compulsive aspect. These can include things like:

Physical actions related to the thought (running home on your break to make sure people are okay, using butter knives instead of the appropriate utensil for a meal, flicking the lights in a certain pattern that reassures your brain, repetitively googling medical symptoms, even watching porn (even when not aroused) to assure yourself you're not a predator)

Mental actions (counting to drown out the thought, focusing on a pattern)

Preventative actions, whether conscious or not (driving a certain route to avoid a trigger, pacing a certain pattern before confronting a trigger, compulsive masturbation even when not aroused to prevent sexual intrusive thoughts from happening later)

The obsession is the intrusive thoughts, feelings, or urges that you cannot shake. They are your worst-case scenario, and the compulsion is the action that, in your mind, prevents the worst-case scenario from happening, or at least stops the thoughts from happening. It's not something you are actively choosing to think or do, and the compulsions themselves can cause additional harm physically or mentally.

The only way to really recover from this is to learn to recognize the intrusive thoughts are not your actual desires, learn to live with the intrusive thoughts via behavioral therapy, and to learn that the worst case scenario will not happen if you don't perform the compulsion. That's the sticking point - it's compulsive and it's terrifying.

Medication, in my experience, dulls the repetition and makes it easier to let pass. With that, the compulsions are easier to ignore. It takes time, effort, and often help from a professional.

[oopsall988]

🩷ᴀʙᴏᴜᴛ ᴍᴇ + ᴅɴɪ🩷

♥ I go exclusively by they/them pronouns. You can call me Jay or 988.

♥ This is my edgier vent + Jirai Kei blog. I will post self-harm and drug use content here.

♥ Block, don't report!

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How I tag my content:

#988 vents: any of my vents

#988 art: my art

#988 fashion: any fashion-related posts I make

#988 silly: any joke or comedic posts I make

#988 hurts: my self-destructive non-vent content

#988 speaks: any time I yap on this account for reasons unrelated to what is above

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My diagnoses: Autism, ADHD, Moderate OCD, Psychosis

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Do Not Interact:

• Supporters of the ongoing genocide on Palestine (zionist/pro-genocide/etc.)

• Any and all accounts who are and/or support the following:

• AI generation users who wrongfully claim to be "artists" or "writers"

• Predators, e.g.- pedophiles/child predators/(NO)MAP, zoophiles, incest, etc.

• Proshippers (those who make predatory (e.g.- child-adult sexual/romantic relationships, incestuous, abusive, etc.) ships within fictional media. The glamorization of these predatory fictional ships normalizes and encourages real-life predatory behavior and is therefore not accepted by me under any circumstance.)

• Bigots, e.g.- queerphobes (e.g.- homophobes, anti-mspec bigotry, aphobes (including aspec-exclusionists), transphobes (including transmeds, TERFS, and more), anti-nonbinary bigotry, etc.), racists, antisemites, fatphobes, islamophobes, ableists, misogynists, etc.

• Anyone who is at or under the age of 14. I do not want to be a bad influence onto any young and impressionable children.

[bunny-smiles-company]

Jack Walten

He/they + neos

Fictive of Jack Walten from The Walten Files

About The Body

We are bodily 19, white, intersex, and bodily disabled (both physical and mental) including C-DID, autism, NPD, BPD, ASPD, AVPD, suspected HPD, suspected DPD, OCD, schizospec, etc. We are medium support needs as well.

More about Jack and the Blog

I am a nonbinary boygirl who also hoards neogenders. I'm bigay, objectum/conceptum, and fictospec. From my source, I selfship with Rosemary and Felix.

As we are an adult, there might be some posts that minors should not interact with. They will be tagged accordingly.

Tags

Jack is speaking :: my general tag

Jack is rbing :: my rb tag

Pick up the phone :: my ask tag

BYF

This is a sideblog so I can't follow back

This blog is explicitly safe for anyone of any religion and/or culture

I'm against the glorification of abusive, pedophilic, incestual, and zoophillic relationships. However, I'm also "live and let live"/"ship and let ship". You're not harming anyone irl? Cool. I'll just block and move on.

I'm pro-kink. Yes even the "weird" ones.

Narc abuse doesn't exist. You're just describing emotional/psychological abuse and blaming it on a disorder your abuser probably doesn't even have.

Pronouns don't equal gender.

I'm pro-mogai

[c0g-machine]

✨️Girls✨️

Hey, I'm Dani. Haven't made an intro post yet but I might as well lol

Alot of the info is under the read more cus I do NOT want this long ass list to be taking up half my page

I'm a bi lesbian and transsexual/altersex, I started my process of detransitioning from being FTM/binary transmasc a few months ago but I still consider myself apart of the trans community, and I'm also Genderqueer & GNC. use only she/he pronouns for me. Any terms are fine but rn I perfer fem & neutral publically, masc terms are often reserved for my partners & my wife.

I'm 25 in system currently, my birthday is May 13th, but bodily we are 22 years old. This account will be 18+ so MINORS DON'T INTERACT

I'm apart of a polyfragmented DID system, and I'm a subsystem myself. Having said that, this blog is meant for just me and my insane posts lol.

While being in a DID system, Me and the rest of us are fully in support of endogenics and non traumagenic systems. we believe in plurality regardless of origin so If you're anti endo stay as far away from us as possible, we won't hesitate.

My biggest interests are mechanical engineering, computer sciences, robotics, video games & a few other things.

I deal with auDHD, BPD, HPD, and P-OCD/Health OCD. If you believe that people with PDs are abusive, especially those with cluster b PDs, and ESPECIALLY for HPD, ASPD & NPD, Fuck off, and if you think those with P-OCD/Z-OCD are pedophiles/zoos, go away also. we're mentally ill and traumatized, and this is how it manifested. I am no more harmful than anyone else, and I am definitely not a pedophile for having a severe anxiety disorder around the FEAR and ANXIETY of being a pedo and being the same as our abusers. We're a grooming/online CSA victim as well, and we can not control or predict how this trauma and mental illness manifests, but we are in treatment right now for these things.

I'm polyamorous, and I'm in a relationship with @dakotakota and a couple of others apart of the Spiral System ( @the-spiral-system ) so while I will post about nsfw and kink, I will not respond to sexual and romantic advances, but some playful/non serious flirting and joking is fine, just respect me and my partners

I may post about sexual content and kinks, so as a warning you might see hornyposting on here.

My current special interests involves the band Ghost, Minecraft (Hermitcraft adjacent), Pokemon and Pizza Tower.

My DNI list is long, and I have a banner that I'll be posting on all of my original posts, but in general DNI if youre a terf or radfem, map/pedo, radqueer (like transid/pro and complex contact paraphile/proshipper/etc), yanderecore or traumacore blog, anti endo, anti mspec lesbians/gays, and in general being a bigoted shithole.

As a detransitioning/retransitioning person I understand people will have biases about us, and I understand we are often used as transphobic rhetoric by radfems and terfs, but Not every one of us are suddenly transphobic OR cisgender when we detransition/retransition. DNI if you're again detrans people OR are into detrans kink. Fuck off with that.

Hope yall enjoy my blog, just be nice to others! ^^

[normal-with-adhd-is-a-joke]

I've been seeing a lot of "someone who is recovered from OCD won't feel distressed at their intrusive thoughts and that's a good thing" which I agree with wholeheartedly. I've also seen people use this to say you can't truly be happy until you accept that your intrusive thoughts are true and you actually want to be violent/pedophilic/etc, which is obviously untrue and distressing to people with OCD who don't want to turn out that way. So I wanted to tell you all that there is a middle ground between the two.

Intrusive thoughts are almost always ego-dystonic. Ego in this case is being used in the Freudian way, to describe your moral self. Ego-dystonic thoughts are against your moral code/will but are difficult or impossible to stop. We don't want to have intrusive thoughts about harm, pedophilia, or other disturbing topics, but we can't stop. Initially, this will cause distress. As you recover, you learn that intrusive thoughts don't define you, they aren't how you really feel, and that dwelling on them and being disgusted with yourself doesn't help. But you'll never feel like your intrusive thoughts of doing harmful things line up with your moral code.

I don't often open up about my intrusive thoughts for fear of being judged by people who don't get it, but I'll share an example. I often rub my cat's paw as a stim, I've been doing this since she was a baby so she doesn't mind. My intrusive thoughts decided to interrupt my peaceful stimming by telling me that I should break her leg. Obviously, I didn't actually want to do this, I love her and don't want to hurt her. Even if she wasn't my cat, it would go against my moral code which says that it's wrong to cause other beings unnecessary suffering. I quickly dismissed it as ridiculous and felt only a small amount of distress from it, but it was very much ego-dystonic. It didn't, and will never, line up with my moral code.

[peantisdeliriouts]

Fuck it, we ball

Personal blog of @imaginesangie

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-Angie

-Adult (20’s)

-American and hate it here

-Aroace/Queer Fictophile

-Alien ΘΔ 'Therian' (I more specifically ID as Alterhuman but I find most people ID as therian)

-Currently hyper fixated on Invader Zim and Superjail if you couldn’t tell (and Venture Bros but I forgot to update this LOL)

-I’m disabled with DID/OCD/BPD so don’t expect consistency

-Anti-harassment, anti-censorship, pro-kink. A big problem on the internet is treating real people like they’re fictional and fictional characters like they’re real

-No DNI cus that’s cringe and performative (I block whoever makes me uncomfortable)

-Radinclus NOT radqueer. I am not in support of transID, transx, pro-contact, complex contact, or neutral contact. Radqueers as a whole are part of a community that trivializes mental illness, physical illness, and states of being you cannot change such as race, age, etc. I will not support a group that often supports zoophiles, necorphiles, pedophiles, and biasophiles (specifically pro-contact or similar) harming non-consenting parties.

-I don't look at DNIs before interacting (see above). Don't like me? Block me, curate your own experience

-Twins and ZADR obsessed (Terry x Krovo has also joined the party!)

-I suck at tagging but I do my best to tag general triggers such as blood, gore, death, etc

[rants-and-anger]

Hey guys, can we just agree on one fact that everyone has the ability to change? I mean none of us are truly clean, we all did fuck ups in the past, we all probably did terrible things when we were younger due to not knowing what’s right or wrong. I mean come on, you can point fingers at someone for doing something bad in the past but there’s such a high chance of them changing and having different thoughts now as they grow older and experience life.

And let’s also get into mental disorders or developmental disorders some people have, such as ocd, autism, depression, adhd, etc

By definition, a mental disorder are conditions that affect your thinking, feeling, mood, and behavior. They may be occasional or long-lasting (chronic). They can affect your ability to relate to others and function each day.

Such mental disorders are OCD, this mental disorder causes repeated unwanted thoughts or sensations (obsessions) or the urge to do something over and over again (compulsions). Some people can have both obsessions and compulsions. OCD isn't about habits like biting your nails or thinking negative thoughts, it’s not your cutesy “UwU sorry I need to fix the picture frame because of my OCD”, no it’s something more than that.

A variant of the OCD mental disorder is P-OCD, POCD is an obsessive fear of being or becoming a pedophile, what to many is considered the ultimate loss of identity. They fear that they might be a pedophile due to their trauma and their unwanted intrusive thoughts. POCD may stem from many many different reasons, one of them being the fear that having been a victim of childhood sexual abuse condemns one to become an abuser, people with POCD Can’t Stop Talking About It… and Also Can’t Talk About It, they feel ashamed and guilt, especially when they can’t get the help they need due to either the environment being terrible such as horrible parents or not being able to afford an OCD-specialist.

Now developmental disorders, it means a severe (not all of them are severe), chronic disability of an individual who has a mental or physical impairment by the age of 22 which is likely to continue indefinitely and results in substantial functional limitations in three or more areas of major life activity.

Such developmental disorders such as Autism Spectrum Disorder. Now there are many variants that we can’t exactly generalize it but basically, it is a developmental disorder that affects communication and behavior. People with autism have trouble with communication. They have trouble understanding what other people think and feel. This makes it hard for them to express themselves, either with words or through gestures, facial expressions, and touch. Therefore, it takes longer for them to realize things that somethings are wrong and they can get confused. Im not saying that we should baby them and such, but Im saying is to give more patience and time.

Now most of these things, people can get help or assistance by getting therapy, being in a supportive environment and the feeling of importance to other people, but what if they can’t get have those privileges? What can you do? Well first you can try to understand their situation, you can try to help them, you can try to be supportive, you can try to at least leave them alone when they’re not feeling well. Just please, please, educate yourselves first before you speak. Nobody ever really knows how much anyone else is hurting. You could be standing next to somebody who is completely broken and you wouldn't even know it. That's why you should always try to be kind.

You guys think that condemning these behaviors by sending death threats, insults and doxxing them will help? No. No it does not. It just pushes them into a corner where they just accept that they are a terrible person and start to lash out even more, instead of just causing drama, how about we try to understand what the other person is going through? Like seriously, you can’t just call someone a literal devil if you only got it from one side of the story but not hear the other, that’s unfair and unjust. There is no fairness if you do something like that and it’s just frankly a waste of everyone’s time as it’s just gonna be hurling insults left and right till either

A. someone kills themselves due to how being dramatic the problem became

Or

B. The drama just stops because there is no literal point and continuing it anymore

We don’t know every single part of the story of a person, we don’t know every single thing about a person, and we do not know what the person has went through as a person. So just please hear me out, instead of starting useless drama, doxxing, death threats and assumptions, please just listen what the other person has to say.

Remember, thinking about doing something is different from actually doing it, thinking about it means it just formed in your mind suddenly while doing it is when you actually resolved yourself and actually follow through with it, prepared to face the consequences, there’s a difference.

Also misgendering someone despite the fact they’re “bad” or not still makes you an asshole like seriously, being hateful and harming someone is one thing but purposely misgendering their identity is just not cool man, at least say the right pronouns and respect their human decency. Even courts do these kinds of things.