#or ‘hey can you do xyz when you get the chance’

[digitaldiseas3]

.

did not need a passive aggressive text from my housemate when i was literally Just On My Way Home For The First Time All Day. “we would have appreciated if you would have helped to clean the common areas” I HADNT BEEN HOME ALL DAY. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU EXPECT ME TO GET DONE

[maxwellatoms]

In one of your last answers, you said “series reboots are usually pretty gross and sad”, and I was wondering if you could expand on that? Assuming “reboot” covers any kind of continuation of a currently cancelled or finished show (and maybe that’s the wrong assumption!), from the outside looking in it feels like a pretty mixed bag. On one hand, if I love XYZ Show, it’s cool that I get more stories with these characters and another chance to support XYZ Show and its creators. On the other, it definitely feels like a lot of ideas can only get funding if they’re tied to something already, meaning creatives are having to now tie whatever cool idea they have to some reboot/relaunch/retread, which can feel pretty disheartening if you don’t want to do a reboot/relaunch/retread. Is that a similar feeling from your side of the industry?

Thank you so much for all your answers and insight!

Usually reboots and spin-offs are just cash grabs. It happens a lot in animation. In fact, I would argue that the entire industry is just one big cash grab now. In the 80s, everyone complained that cartoons were just half-hour commercials for toys. And they were right. And we're right back there, but now that you can't legally push toys all day, it's just general "IP". Mugs, posters, more spinoffs, whatever.

I was offered three show running gigs over the pandemic. All reboots that I would consider unwise to pursue because they were "of a different time" and didn't (in my opinion) have anything more to say. Two of them were properties created by notorious sex pests, so there's also that. The animation industry loves to prop up its sex pests.

I turned all of them down, partially because I didn't respect the original creators but also because none of them had anything going for them except just being "more of the same".

I don't think any of those projects survived the intervening years, so in retrospect I maybe should've taken the job. I'd probably feel a bit gross, but at least I'd have floors in my house.

The entertainment industry is in a bad spot. The whole thing. I've had I don't know how many pitch meetings in the last few years, and they all start the same way:

"Hey! Before we start, we just want to let you know that we're not actively producing anything right now. We think maybe soon, but we won't be picking anything up today..."

And then later:

"The little we are doing is IP, so if you have a new take on our IP or a new IP you're connected to that you can bring in, that'd be great."

I always wanted to make original stuff. There came a time when I'd had my fill of Billy & Mandy and wanted to do something else new and original. That never manifested, and I was constantly being offered IP to produce. I turned too many of those down, maybe, before deciding that it was probably better that I run the IPs that mean something to me rather than having some hack do it.

But now those jobs have all gone to celebrities and fallen live-action writers, who are also slowly being eaten by the system. WB was hot for Scooby stuff a few years back, so I pitched some ideas. A few of them were turned down for being "off-brand" in a variety of ways. WB has now made (I think) all of those off-brand shows (or something close) with celebrity show runners.

I was going through a whole Midlife Impostor Syndrome thing recently where I was wondering if maybe I don't just suck. Like, it's weird that for a couple of decades I'd have people calling me trying to get me to run shows, and now nobody will call me back about the possibility of a design job.

Talking to some friends and realizing that they were in a similar situation helped me feel like I wasn't alone. That was nice. Talking to some of the most talented colleagues in my industry made me made me realize that those people weren't getting jobs either. That was unnerving. Talking to complete strangers in other parts of the entertainment industry now has me thinking that the whole house of cards is coming down. That's real concerning, yo.

It's hard not to think it's purposeful, when deranged billionaires own the entirety of our media and want to shape a society where they can't be criticized. We're letting wealthy tech bros firebomb the very heart of our culture, and it's weird that no one is talking about it. Because (for now) we still have that capability.

[i-cant-sing]

Ya think Miguel would be one those grandmas who constantly give you snacks and meals. If reader were to have a big appetite. Like in any chance he gives reader snacks cause he knows they’re hungry. Hehe imagine if he develops a new sense where he just KNOWS when reader is hungry.

HAHAHAHA IMAGINE HIS THEME SONG PLAYING EVERYTIME HE SENSES READER IS HUNGRY and he just sprints towards you with full speed, opening up a secret stash to give you a snack. And like he always knows what you're craving.

Yknow how grandmas are like "hey, would you like a XYZ food?" and she poses the question like she has that food ready to eat, but in reality she just immediately goes to the grocery store to buy the ingredients to make that dish (actually, she ends up buying more to make a 5 course meal because to her, you always look like a starving orphan who is holding up their bowl and asking "can I please have some more, sir???🥺🥺")

Miguel would be absolutely horrified whenever your stomach would grumble (like yknow how sometimes its just cause of digestion and not cause youre hungry) and my man just punts a sandwich at you.

And he is so like those grandmas that start to actually scold their grandkids because they havent eaten their 7th serving of the food he made. Imagine just Hobie, Pavitr, Miles, Gwen walking in (because these guys never knock at Miguel's place) and Miguel is wearing a frilly apron and wagging his spatula at you, holding you hostage and telling u you cant leave until you finish every last bite or else no more saving the world for you.

And the gang just make fun of you because "what kind of spiderman gets scolded for not finishing the after dinner snack?? And why do you look tired rn? What do you mean its because Miguel made you drink milk and now you're feeling sleepy and cant move a muscle because the swinging makes you wanna puke your guts out??? No, its not "Miguel's big plan" to make you quit hero life, you big baby!"

[saltminerising]

Met the absolute worst fucking guy ever. They kept complaining about how "bad" their NotN hatches were with deep sighs of "another horrible double :( rng really hates me" while hatching genuinely good things. Speaking near triples good. And badmouthing other people's hatches and going "this NotN is fodder only :("

They have had many amazing hatches but kept going on and on about how horrible they are but hey, people can have specific tastes right? Ye, that's not where my salt is.

My salt comes from how they do not want to sell anything to people that have shown interest. They always reply with "no I'll just exalt them, they are too ugly to sell" on.every.single.one. The one chance they don't exalt? Oh pay them 10kg for that xyz, it's getting exalted otherwise!

Why join a groups chat for hatching eggs when you're this negative over everything you hatch and then exalt dreamies in front of people that wanted them? Real fucking happy the owner kicked them after multiple people complained because it legit soured the entire event

[copperbadge]

Hey Sam, I remember reading a post or response from you about how to give to charities anonymously, but now that I’m searching, I’m finding a few different responses but still have questions. Any chance you could do a round up post? Wondering about the following:

1. How to give cash

2. How to give small amounts anonymously (e.g., if you can’t set up a DAF)

3. How to opt out of being sent branded junk if you can’t give anonymously, because it will end up in the garbage (seriously, no more pens, stickers or magnets please)

4. In giving anonymously, how important is the tax receipt? I only take the standard deduction on my taxes… is there a reason to bother with tracking the receipts?

Appreciate your help!

Ah yeah, it's rough knowing how to do some of these things. I've written about some of them, probably most of them, but disparately over several posts, so let me see if I can answer succinctly and all in one place.

How to give cash: You are pretty much confined to two options, giving cash to a staffer in person or mailing cash in an envelope. If you have access to the office of the nonprofit you may be able to swing by and drop the cash off, but it's not super convenient and often not possible. If you're at an event you can hand it in an envelope to a staffer, and that's really the only way my organization gets cash donations, but that requires you to be at the event. And technically I can't recommend mailing cash since the risk of theft is a real one. Giving cash is fine legally, but nonprofits often aren't thrilled with it because it can put their staff at risk and also there's, well, there's no way to track that donation to a person. But yeah, throw them dollars between two thick sheets of paper and mail that in with a note saying "This is for the XYZ organization" so they know they can accept it.

2. Giving small amounts anonymously: It depends on how you're defining 'small'; I have a DAF (for the readers: a Donor Advised Fund -- I talk a little about them here but I've never gone indepth) which has no minimum deposit or minimum monthly contribution, but they do have a minimum donation amount of $20. To me that's not especially large, but I know to many people it can be. Pretty much the only way to give an amount smaller than $20 anonymously is to give online through the nonprofit's website using a cash giftcard (like a Visa gift debit card), and just not give an address. If you custom-order checks you can sometimes order checks without a home address, or with the bank's address, and pay with one of those, but I've never tried that.

If you do use a DAF (and I can recommend Charityvest, they've been mine for several years now) you can always set up to pay small amounts into it and just have them send all that money in a lump sum once or twice a year. I pay in $75/mo and from that they pay out three $20 donations a month, and at the end of the year the extra $180 that has just sat there becomes a nice extra donation. Always bearing in mind of course that once you pay into a DAF that money is gone, you can't claw it back even if you haven't "donated" it yet -- just putting money in a DAF is considered a donation. Readers, if you're curious about DAFs I recommend googling, lots of banks have "what is a DAF" pages, but if you're not finding what you want to know do feel free to come ask me.

3. Opting out of swag when not giving anonymously: I'm tempted to just say "Ya can't" because it's hard, especially with larger orgs. Even if you opt out, often you'll still get mailings that are considered "stewardship" (maintaining a relationship) rather than "solicitation" (asking for giving) and swag counts as stewardship. You can always start with sending the org a letter saying "Please put me on a Do Not Contact list, I will continue to give but don't want to get your swag". If that doesn't work, start returning mailings -- if you get something from the org don't even open it, just write "return to sender -- no longer resident" and drop it in the mail. This is not guaranteed effective; some places will either just change the name to 'resident' or retry every so often just in case. You can call the org and ask to speak to "records" or "data", and then just be super up front: "I want to keep supporting you but I really don't want the swag, how do I get that turned off?" They can help, but if you give to another similar org, a lot of times orgs will do "list exchanges" where they swap mailing lists, and if the org does that and you're on the other org's list, you get put right back on the "ok to mail" list for the first org.

I will say, swag is very, very cheap and gets results, so you can also look at this as "well, it was wasted on me, but the five cents this pen cost will get them $1 from someone, so in accepting it, I am still helping them to gain donations." This depends on your tolerance for waste, of course, which I'll talk more about in a minute.

(I personally like getting magnets, because I put stickers over top of whatever's printed on the magnet, cut it out to the shape of the sticker, and behold! I have a cool magnet!)

4. Tax receipting: I'm not a CPA or a tax lawyer and I fucked this up the last time I talked about it, so take this with a grain of salt, but there is an "above and beyond" deduction -- after the standard deduction I believe you can deduct an additional up-to-$300 for charitable giving, and if you were to be audited you'd need receipts to prove that. (As I said, if you're planning on this, fact-check first, I am not a strong source for this information.) (Edited to add: comments informed me this is no longer the case, so I'm glad I added in the disclaimer :D) If you give via a DAF, no problem; the DAF tracks where and when and how much you gave, so I could use my DAF's records as "receipts". You can also, if you lost or didn't get a receipt, contact the org and ask them for your giving record for the year. Here's the problem -- if you are giving in a way that allows you to avoid giving your address, there may be no way to get those receipts, since you can't prove their record with your name on it is you. So if you want receipts but want to give semi-anonymously definitely make sure they have your email address. If you're giving $300 a year, you probably want to take that deduction; if you're giving $20 a year, probably it isn't worth it. But yeah, to get a receipt you generally have to give them enough information for them to identify you, but you don't need giving receipts if all you take is the standard deduction.

All in all, the options are -- give cash and get no receipt, give via DAF or using a giftcard and get receipts to your email, give with your address attached and just hope they honor your request to be removed from swag mailing, or give however you want, put up with the swag, and bear in mind that them sending you the pen or magnet or keychain wasn't much of a problem or cost for them and will get them money from someone.

Honestly, option four isn't the least irritating, but it's probably the least labor-intensive for you. But it really is a question of what you want from your relationship to the nonprofits you support, and how passionately you feel about the "waste" status of swag they send. Only you can determine where your tolerance point is between "having to put in so much effort not to get this stuff" and "having to throw this stuff in a landfill". It's a regrettable part of being a donor and building a relationship with a nonprofit, but we in the nonprofit field do appreciate your giving and your tolerance :) While there are some outlier bad-actors in the space, trust me, for most nonprofits, nothing we do is gratuitous. Almost all of us are on such a thin wire that if something costs us money and doesn't get us more money, it gets binned very quickly.

[thecircularsystem]

do you have anything you'd like to say particularly about the intersection of syscourse and self harm?

Ough. First off, TW clearly for discussions of SH.

I mean...

Syscourse is often a form of emotional self harm. That's obvious. I think what is less obvious is when people are actually using it for self harm.

For instance: Is me syscoursing right now self harm, or not?

What actually constitutes self harm?

Like, on one hand, I am deliberately sitting and answering asks, putting off work that I need to be doing. I am purposefully choosing to make tomorrow harder for me, because I'm not doing things I could be doing now. I am syscoursing while I could be doing dishes, or picking up laundry, or any number of needed things.

On the other, I'm syscoursing today because I have a goal for writing, and that's taking up my whole mind right now; it's easier for me to answer asks than it is to write full length stories, so I asked for asks that I knew would be quick and easy ~300 word bids for word count today. I'm having fun. And that's where this gets muddy.

I think, at the end of the day, my biggest stance on this is that it is absolutely nobody else's place to call someone out for self harming, in any degree. Sure, if you're worried about your friend, you could say, "Hey, I'm really worried about how you're interacting with XYZ right now, and I just want to make sure -- are you checking in with yourself? Are you hurting right now? Is there anything else you could be doing?"

The amount of times people came to me and said, "You're self-harming, stop it" (or worse yet, "you're encouraging self harm") because of how much I syscoursed... Each and every time, it made things worse. It did not make things better, ever. It made me more addicted.

That's because syscourse fulfills this psychological need for me, one that I've been working on filling in other ways. If I can fulfill my needs elsewhere, I don't need syscourse. I'm happy to report, I've gotten a lot better with this (though there are still days when I slip into it).

The thing about self harm is, it's a coping mechanism. It does something for the person doing it. And trying to stop cold turkey, or having everyone around you remind you constantly of How Bad It Is, does not actually do anything to provide tangible harm reduction strategies.

I don't really know if I'm the right one to provide those strategies. But I know I've had to make my own to handle syscourse.

Block liberally. If you participate in syscourse, you need to curate your spaces to hurt less. If that person always, always pisses you off, then block so you cannot see them, and preferably so they can't see you, hopefully. You don't need to play fair or give them a chance.

Consider private blogs. Does what you're saying NEED to be posted online, forever, for everyone to see? Private blogs give the same serotonin of "I am posted online, others will see it," without others... actually seeing it. You can also then look back on those posts when you feel particularly frustrated and let it out there, or even decide to go public later when you're in a better mindset.

Drafts. Make a draft, don't post immediately. This is harder said than done for me, especially in heated moments, but it's always better to come back to a post later with a cooler head. Moreover, I believe drafting something helps save it if OP ends up blocking you.

Check if you're blocked. You can actually do that, btw. Go to the replies function and do the drop down. If the blog name is completely greyed out, you're blocked. This... usually works, though sometimes I've had tumblr grey out a name that isn't actually blocked. It's a functional website. This helps a lot though, because nothing hurt more than writing up an impassioned response, only to get the "Oopsies doopsies something went wrong ):" banner pop up with all those words lost to the void.

Just a few tips there.

[utilitycaster]

spoiler policy for interacting with my posts

posting this now just because 1. winter break no obligations becoming a couch etc etc and 2. It will be useful to outline this, both for me and for my followers and for the post I'm going to make on Sunday of "hello. are you here because you followed me over a viral poll about how you see your blog. here's your warning about what to actually expect."

I am super, extremely, abnormally spoiler averse, but particularly regarding spoilers that are forced upon me (ie, in my notes or askbox) vs. things I accidentally stumble on. I want to be abundantly clear on the following: This does not follow any clear rationale, though I can explain my process, but yeah, on my blog you do need to follow my rules and whims lest you be blocked.

Whether or not I'm avoiding spoilers is a wild-ass illogical ride you cannot predict so on the one hand don't feel bad if you don't but on the other if I tell you to stop I'm not looking for you to explain how you didn't know. I know you didn't know. That's why I'm telling you to stop. Just stop, please. With that said rule of thumb is "if I haven't said I'm finished or given clear indication I am, assume I'm not and act accordingly." And again: you can do WHATEVER the fuck on your blog, where I hold no power. This is specifically things that will appear in my notes. If I see your post because you didn't tag or I didn't filter well? that's my responsibility to deal with, not yours; you are free. Explanation below, but you can stop reading here.

In general, for something that's been out for a while, I may have seen spoilers elsewhere before I realized I wanted to avoid them, so it's really a crapshoot and you shouldn't take your chances (unless you're a mutual and we're talking about this but let's be real, this post isn't for you, you know the deal).

I don't want spoilers for two reasons. The first is that I would vastly prefer to learn this information as creators presented it, ie, through experiencing the work as created, not through some random saying WHAT DID YOU THINK ABOUT THE BIG EXPLOSION and me going "what big explosion?"

The second, weirder one is that I have a number of stupid hangups about chilling out and enjoying myself and doing something purely for pleasure without any productive elements. I am working on that, but if you say "oh you're going to really like XYZ, I can't wait", instead of my brain being fucking normal about this and saying "oh nice! good to know" it goes "nothing matters until we get to That Part. when are we going to be at THAT PART." This, understandably, kills the vibe. (Also if we aren't like, people who have really interacted much, this often reads to me as overfamiliar, which I ALSO do not like and which I am not working on because I think this is a normal reaction to have vs. the spoilery one which is, admittedly, a lot).

Anyway: if I say "hey, please don't do this" I am not expecting you to read my mind! I understand this is all very strict! HOWEVER if you push back and whine about how you couldn't have known 1. now you do, and 2. that's irrelevant, I'm not telling you that you must undo the past, I'm telling you to change the future now that you ARE aware. I am not mad at you for a first offense! I just would like you to stop and I am informing you so that you will. your defenses are annoying. I don't want an excuse and I don't even want an apology, I simply want this to not happen again.

[femmefatalevibe]

hey there, im wondering how i can get more comfortable going up to random people and striking up a conversation. i have pretty bad social anxiety most times but i know i cant get friends unless i do this. do you have any tips on how to feel more secure on going up to people? also, how do i make the conversation flow? everytime i strike up a conversation i just sound so awkward and i cant think of what to say. how do i remedy this and sound cool or hot while talking to someone instead of weird. tysm!!

Hi love! Some tips below:

Remember that everyone is self-focused most of the time. People don't really think too much about you. They're worried about their to-do lists, internal monologues, and how they're presenting themselves to others. So, chances are, if an attempt to initiate a conversation isn't reciprocated, remember it's because the other person is focused on their own priorities and probably will forget about the awkward interaction by the next day.

Consider how you would show up as a confident person then start faking it until you become it. As with any skill, learning how to socialize requires taking action followed by tons of practice, reflection, adjustments for improvement, and repetitions of this cycle.

Make your conversation low-stakes. Initiate a conversation with a genuine compliment if you're nervous. It's a simple, thoughtful, and generally well-received gesture. If you're too nervous to think of things to say, use simple conversation starters (How's your day? How insane is this weather? I can't believe we have to do XYZ project, or Isn't XYZ news story just wild?).

Paraphrase what the other person is saying to display your active listening skills and attention to your conversation. Ask follow-up questions relevant to what they've already said. This tactic will make the person feel heard/special for the moment and makes it easier for you to continue the conversation without having to think of a handful of topics or stories to contribute on the fly.

To appear more calm and collected, take your time and speak slowly. Allow for small pauses, and don't rush through your words. Smile, and maintain direct eye contact. Don't be afraid to laugh when contextually appropriate. Keep your speech even-pitched (don't end every sentence on a high, nervous note where the ending sounds like it's a question). Maintain open body language and tilt your head to show you're actively listening instead of fidgeting.

Hope this helps xx

[polyhexian]

despite Jasper telling Raine not to call him for CATTs business after the finale, I feel like Raine would, indeed, end up calling him. a lot. because, like. there's an entire oppressive government to mop up, and as former Golden Guards both Jasper and Hunter would be a wealth of information.

it's a 50-50 chance whether Jasper will just hang up or whether he'll demand some ridiculous price for his help, but Raine has a dangerous castle full of an evil emperor's secrets to clean up, and the former Golden Guards are RIGHT THERE.

so like…

~

"Whispers, I told you not to call me."

"I know, don't worry, I'll be quick. Is there a backup key to the treasury?"

"I'm sorry, what?"

"We can't find the treasury secretary and the key is gone and we KIND OF need the relief funds - "

"Ohoho you guys are screwed, if you try going in there without the key you're gonna get vaporized by the security system."

"I AM AWARE. Do you know of some other way to get in?"

"Mmm theoretically."

"…What's it gonna cost to get you to help?"

"I've been considering getting my own wifi plan. Could you get the fees waived for, like, forever?"

~

"DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW TO GET UPPER-LEVEL ACCESS TO THE CASTLE'S CRYSTAL BALL NETWORK?"

"Hello to you too, Whispers."

"YES, HI, WE'RE KIND OF ON A TIME LIMIT HERE, NO TIME TO EXPLAIN BUT LILITH'S ACCESS WAS REVOKED SO - "

"Pfft wait, they actually locked her out? Oh, wait, she was alive when she defected, that makes sense…"

"JASPER PLEASE I KNOW THIS IS A LONGSHOT BUT IF YOU HAVE ANY IDEAS - "

"Here I'll just text you my username and password."

"…WHAT???"

"Yeah they never changed it, pretty stupid of them. There you go, sent, feel free to use it as much as you like, it's not like I need it anymore. Also stop calling me."

~

"Listen I know you said you don't care to participate in government BUT I'm just putting out feelers so I wanted to know if you had any ideas on how to de-militarize the Emperor's Coven?"

"What makes you think I understand the first thing about political theory?"

"You were the Emperor's RIGHT HAND MAN."

"Haha yeah, doesn't mean I understood anything."

~

"Did Belos actually acquire the XYZ artifact?"

"Oh, yeah, I got that for him like 20 years ago."

"Great! Do you know where he stored it?"

"Not a clue."

~

"Whispers I am marathoning Cosmic Frontier with my kid, this had better be important."

"Sorry, just - quick question, we're trying to clear Belos's wing of the castle and we need to know, how many secret passages are there in this hallway?"

"Well in the hallway there's five, but there's another two in his chambers and one in his study."

"For the love of - "

"Hm? One sec. …Okay, Hunter says there's actually three in the study and seven in the hallway - wait, but Hunter, you never knew about the grimwalker lab? Huh. Okay so between me and Hunter there are eight in the hallway. That we know of."

"Great. Fantastic."

"Also watch out for the booby traps. And now that I think about it, one of the passages in the bedchamber is probably keyed so that only a human can enter, so you might want to recruit Luz for that."

"Is there anything I can do to get you to come help us clear this place?"

"Absolutely not. Wait, let me check - hey, Hunter, want to go back to the site of our torment to help Whispers and Mason do their jobs? Yeah, didn't think so."

"Alright, alright, sorry for asking."

"Oh, but I do claim anything you find pertaining to grimwalkers as, like, reparations or whatever. At the very least there should be a shelf full of journals in the lab. You can give what's left of Caleb back to the Clawthornes, though, he's their graverobbed great-great-whatever-granddad."

"Oh dear titan."

"Going back to our marathon now, if you have an emergency in the next thirteen hours I am NOT answering my scroll. Byyyyyyye."

SO fucking funny. "here's my password have fun kids" and that's how Raine finds out how jasper has known everything always all the time jehshdhdja. THAT SON OF A-

Don't forget jasper loves being bribed. When hunter is busy or at school jasper can be convinced to do stuff. Mostly with food. Food is a great motivator the man is hungry.

Raine: hey... Can you come and break down the wards in Belos's chambers?

Jasper: no

Raine: you want a house

Jasper: what

Raine: a house. White picket fence. Bay windows. Kitchen nook. You want one

Jasper: wh

Raine: mason will make you a house if you will come deactivate these wards

Jasper: why would I need a house. I have a house.

Raine: you live in a cave.

Jasper: I like my cave.

Raine: I bet hunter would like a house.

Jasper: I'll be right there

[kitkatt0430]

10 & 17 for the Salty Ask Game please <3

10.) Most disliked arc? Why?

For the Flash specifically I did that one here

Over on the Legends I had a number of disliked arcs too.

First off? I really hate the repeated bullying arcs.

S1, they bully Mick and then are shocked, shocked I tell you, when he betrays them for a better deal.

S2, they bully Mick again and then are completely mystified how past!evil!Len manages to manipulate him away from them so easily.

And then they finally stop bullying Mick just in time for Gary to show up and oh hey let's bully the shit out of this guy now.

Gary being an alien pretending to be a jewish human was antisemitic not least of all for reeking of the lizard conspiracy bullshit. >_<

Gideon turning into a human and only truly being 'welcomed to the crew' at that point and immediately getting a romantic/sexual awakening arc. It might have been interesting if Gideon ultimately decided she preferred being an AI, instead of some weird modern day little mermaid type nonsense, but no. She was a person before she became a human, but I really feel like the plot treated her like she was only now a person because she shed her fins and grew legs lost her Waverider shell and took on human form.

17.) Instead of XYZ happening, I would have made ABC happen…

So, so many instances, I could probably get asked this question a dozen times and have a dozen different answers and still not have exhausted the things I'd have done differently with my fav fandoms.

Um... to just pick one for now... I would have done Cisco's exit from the show differently. Carlos was leaving the show, there was no keeping the character, but there was a chance to have Cisco exit the show in a way that really honored the character.

So the thing with Frost's arrest in S7 could have opened up an arc about ARGUS not honoring their deal with Team Flash about how the meta cure would be handled. Cisco takes this personally and investigates into how the CCPD had (illegally) acquired the 'cure', which could have had him working with Cecile on one side to sue the city for - amongst other things - violating Cisco's patent on the drug itself by manufacturing it without a license and illegal experimentation on inmates by forcing the meta cure on metahuman criminals without their consent. Meanwhile bring in Lyla for a bit as she had no idea that the cure had been essentially stolen from ARGUS and she's there to work with Cisco on the other end of things to find out where the leak in ARGUS is coming from and of course they find a small part of the problem but not the whole thing. And while the Central City side of the story would get wrapped up as a half-season thing, maybe with Cecile doing some lingering legal work in the second half of S7, Cisco feels obligated to continue working with ARGUS to find all the stolen cure and lock down the leak within the organization.

Maybe Cisco feels guilty because something he created to help himself remove powers that actively hurt him - migraines and the like from his visions, not that amatonormative BS the show gave us as justification in S5 - is now being used to harm people by taking away their powers without their consent. But also revealed an underground movement of metas whose powers they do want gone because they're afraid of meta-human trafficking or their powers suck or they just want to be normal and Cisco wants to give them the same right to chose that he did. So his decision he can do more good with ARGUS doesn't come out of nowhere.

It'd dovetail nicely with Kamilla getting the chance to focus more on her art in Star City and the two of them choosing to leave Central City together, since Lyla would want Cisco working with her specifically at her Star City location.

It would have also given the whole 'Barry having issues with SF!Nora' plot a chance to be something other than Barry's loved ones treating him like he's being unreasonable for having his trauma triggered regarding his mom's death and the Speed Force's previous mistreatment of him. With everyone being so tied up in really important things - even Iris is busy reporting on the city side of the meta cure scandal - Barry doesn't want to bother any of them with the SF making him feel uncomfortable just because she doesn't respect his boundaries. He's just making a mountain out of a molehill, right? He and Chester and Allegra can totally handle the new Forces thing on their own.

And then Cisco leaves and the SF!Nora + new Forces situation promptly explodes in everyone's face.

[pomrania]

I'm planning to do "cats in wizard hats" again, and the current intention is for requests to be open for that 24-25 February 2024, that's the weekend, which according to my polls is the two-day span where the most people are going to be online. As always, that's just when REQUESTS are open; once requests are closed, I'll still be drawing them, I just won't be adding any new ones to the list.

I keep having to say this: it is absolutely OKAY to put in a request for this event, it doesn't matter how many times I've already drawn stuff for you; there'll be a limit of "one request per person", but that's FOR THIS EVENT SPECIFICALLY. Think of it this way: if you're at a potluck and they don't allow seconds (because they want to make sure everyone has a chance to get something), you're still allowed to have your FIRST serving of food, even if you've been at the potluck last year.

Also, PLEASE don't say "it's okay to not draw my request if you're busy (emoji)", because that always makes me feel both guilty and infuriated. Listen. If I make a post that says "I will draw XYZ for you if you make a request for it", that means I'm willing to do so. If I didn't feel up to drawing things, I wouldn't say "hey I can draw things if you ask me to". Plus, when you say something like "you don't have to draw it if you don't want to", that places the burden on ME, to reject you specifically; and if I hated you that much that I'd be okay with doing that, then I'd already have you blocked. If you want a request, and I have requests open, then make a request, and don't feel ashamed of it.

Also, once you've made a request, don't delete it; because that messes with my whole system, and it makes me feel bad the rest of the day.

...yeah, that's a lot of ranting, but it's stuff that KEEPS HAPPENING so I keep having to try and prevent it.

Rant out of the way, what else do I have to say here... oh yeah. THIS IS NOT THE REQUEST POST. This is the post where I'm telling you about an upcoming event, because I don't want anyone to be like "oh damn I missed it again this year".

If you don't think you'll be available for the listed dates, get in contact with me ahead of time, and we can work something out. Afterwards, I'll make allowances only in exceptional circumstances, like if you were in hospital for the whole time from when I announced this to when requests were closed; but if it's BEFOREHAND, I can't think of a reason I'd say no.

I'll likely be posting about this throughout the week, to make sure everyone knows it's coming up; hopefully with less ranting in it.

[growandrecover]

hey!! I’m in ed recovery but what do I do if I don’t think I’m “bad” enough to recover?? I don’t think I was ever clinically underweight so can I even identify with the ana (or, recovering ana) label? I feel like I can’t recover until I’m properly validated as sick. do u have any tips on how to combat this feeling? tysm, I love ur blog!

Hey! Thanks for the ask <3 I know exactly how you feel. Yes, being underweight is a symptom of anorexia (a *big* one, for whatever reason), but the way I think about it, if a fat person was anorexic, they may not "technically" qualify, but that doesn't make them any less anorexic. You don't need to be underweight to be an ana (although some of them may tell you otherwise, do not listen to them. So many anas are in a very unhealthy headspace where they tell people they need to be sicker, which is frankly not true.) If you feel like/know you are anorexic, you are sick enough to recover. Why? Because if you didn't feel that way, there would be nothing to recover from.

Let me say this to you really quick: You are valid in your disorder. You are sick enough. I'm sure you've heard this before, but people who aren't sick don't think the way we do in terms of needing to feel "sick enough" in order to heal. This is another way our disorders trap us in this endless cycle of harmful behaviors. We convince ourselves we're not sick enough, and we only get worse in the process, which doesn't do any good.

To help with those thoughts, you could write them down whenever one pops into your head. For me personally, when I see my thoughts written down, they become more real. So if I see "I'm not sick enough" written down in front of me, there's a high chance I'll go, "woah, why would I ever think that?". I know everyone is different, so you may need to try something else.

You could talk to someone if you're able to (if you can't get a therapist, try talking to someone who doesn't have an ed because their point of view is so different *only if you know they'll be supportive and won't just tell you to eat*). I say get a person without an ed because I remember telling my younger sibling about certain things having to do with my ed, and they'd always think it was so odd. To them, rules around food are ridiculous. Hearing them say "you want to look like them?" or "I'm eating the same thing, and I'm okay." is so reassuring because it seems so well intentioned and wholesome. They've always encouraged me to eat, especially the foods they know I love. Their point of view always puts my ed related problems into perspective because they have a healthy relationship with food.

If you don't want to do that, you could always just try affirming yourself. Any time your ed voice is really getting to you, you could try saying, "I am sick enough. This particular thing is bothering me so much because I'm sick. Xyz wouldn't be a problem if I didn't have an ed." If you don't believe that right now, that's okay. Sometimes you just have to fake it till you make it.

And one last time, just for good measure: You are sick enough. If you weren't, you wouldn't be worried about it. You can do this, I know you can. You're strong, and you can beat this disorder.

I wish you nothing but success and happiness in recovery, love. Have a great day/night ♡ And feel free to reach out again if you need to talk!

[sapphire-weapon]

I loved your post about Ashley and Leon being intimate for the first time!

I also adore the idea of them helping each other grow through sex. Leon possesses this need to be giving so he’s one of those people who find pleasure in giving someone what they want and never found the need to step outside the box before he met Ashley. I can imagine them getting it on and all of the sudden Ashley goes “Let me take care of you” or “What’s something I can do for you?” and it kinda confuses Leon at first but he’s persuaded to let go and be vulnerable (something he hasn’t allowed himself to do in a long time) 🤍

I purposefully sat on this ask all day because I had a feeling I'd want it for content later. And what a day it's been.

Oh, man. I feel like he wouldn't even have a response ready for her in the moment. He knows what he wants -- he just doesn't know how to verbalize it. He's never thought to put it into words before. (And, honestly, a small part of him is probably kind of embarrassed.)

Because, like. If we're talking Remake-verse, chances are, Leon's never been in a long-term sexual relationship before. All of his encounters up to this point in his life have been random hook-ups and one night stands. Maybe, if he's lucky, he was able to go back for seconds once or twice with someone -- but that's really it. And things usually tend to not get too crazy during encounters like that.

So, I imagine that this is a process that unfolds gradually over time, and Ashley probably ends up having to really do a lot of work to goad it out of him. But, we've already talked about in great detail that her love language is acts of service, so I'm sure she's more than up to the task.

But getting Leon to just come out and say openly "hey, I want you to do xyz to/for me" is a complete non-starter of an idea, because he's just not that guy. So, she just kind of experiments for a while with little things here and there, until she hits on something that he reacts to stronger than normal, and then she can ask him about it in the heat of the moment when his inhibitions have been significantly lowered.

And eventually, he finally just comes out and admits to her, "I just want to feel like I don't have to be in control for once." When she presses him on it, he doesn't exactly know concretely what that means or what he actually wants her to do, but it's a start, at least. It's something. So, she starts small and builds on it in tiny increments.

It starts pretty simply, with her just holding his wrists down while she rides him. Then, she works up to doing that while he's blindfolded. Then, she actually ties his hands down while he's blindfolded. And so on and so on.

She just gradually takes more and more of his power away, until one day she has him on his elbows and knees, his hands tangled in the bed sheets in tight fists, as he whimpers and gasps and pants and moans like the world is crashing down around him, and he's just struggling to hold on. He had no idea how badly he wanted his girlfriend to fuck him in the ass until she was fully strapped in and already three inches deep, but that first time is almost like an out of body experience for him.

And suddenly, it's a whole new world.

It's not something they do all the time -- or even, very often at all -- but it does open a whole new avenue of trust in their relationship. It allows him to be more openly vulnerable and talk to her easier outside of the bedroom.

But there are still days when he can't talk -- and, on those days, he at least knows that she'll know what he means when he pulls her in for a slow, lingering kiss, and whispers the simple plea: "Take it from me."

[blackfeathersflurry]

Let's Discuss How a Friendship Works:

The following chat is a simulation of an indirect discussion in a one sided friendship:

Chocobo: Hey...

MUW: Oh, Hey! Haven't heard from you in a while.

Chocobo: Oh my God, [goes on a tangeant about the things that have occurred in their lives.] And my mother hasn't made it easy. She's [XYZ]

MUW: Oh, I see. Is there some way that I may be of any support?

Chocobo: No.

Chocobo: I'm good. :)

MUW: Well, thank you for reaching out to me. I always love hearing from you. I know things have been difficult for the both of us. And I haven't been the best example in terms of reaching out either.

MUW: Why don't we catch up? See what else has been going around the bend?

Chocobo: My family is going out for the day and I will be getting the house to myself.

MUW:....

Chocobo: Alone.

MUW: I'll catch you later, then. ^_^'

.......

This is supposed to be what one calls a friend?

I've made better friends with fungus.

My dear readers, followers... flurries....I think I will call you my flurries. I think you should very well know that a friend should be direct. Yes, your feelings and their feelings may be hurt. However, emotional maturity must be developed in situations like these. The chat was merely a simulation, however it was based on a very real conversation that a friend of mine underwent. No one should ever be used. Not a single person should ever be made to feel like they are a last resort when it comes to a so-called friendship. As angry as I am, I must refrain from acting. If you find that you are in any kind of dynamic like this, it is ok to walk away. The friend in question is trying. Eight years is a heavy burden for them. They are trying to see the good in this person, even though there is absolutely.none.left. I see an empty shell of what that person used to be.

And that person does not care for anyone else beyond themselves or their ego.

....

Forgive me....

I'm venting.

Regardless, let's circle back and break this down.

Let's ask ourselves these questions, shall we?

Does your friend:

Respect you?

Maintain healthy boundaries?

Communicate openly?

Check in with you after long communication lapses?

Pick up where the friendship left off and retain interest in your life with the same care and respect as you do theirs?

Encourage your hobbies and interests?

Are supportive when you are sick or feeling down?

Or do they:

Show disinterest in your interests or hobbies/make fun of them?

Push your boundaries?

Show disinterest in your life unless it involves ulterior motive or personal gain?

Avoid communication or react to hairline incidents?

Make hints about not wanting to talk to you?

Use you as a personal punching bag? (This can occur in a number of ways)

By answering these questions and weighing the pros and the cons we can determine whether the friendship is healthy for us and deep dive into the next steps. For example. If there is a balanced scale then there is likely going to need to be a lot of communication involved, and potentially a deep dive into whether or not the friendship is capable of surviving. If the scale is balanced and your friend is gaslit, or you are the one gaslighting your friend, then chances are there needs to be an interpersonal re-evaluation on both sides regarding the relationship dynamic.

As it goes, my life was very complicated and extremely misaligned prior to the events that led to the creation of this blog. I had friends who disappeared from SOLDIER. Their names were Angeal and Genesis. I worried over them for a long while and could barely eat because of it. The ability to take care of myself began to wane because of the depression and anxiety that I spiraled into and in the end...well...many of you know what happened.

My friend is going through something similar. She's been stuck in a situation where she can't leave and is even losing a pet. A friend that she's had for a long time is now betraying her and she is keeping a poker face before him while he tries to play mind games. This person, specifically my friend, used to smile and laugh a lot. The past five years have changed her completely.

Many of you are likely wondering, "Why doesn't she leave?" .

It's not so simple.

Not everyone can leave something like an eight year friendship at the drop of a hat. Especially one that they believe will go back to being healthy. It's not. As much as she wishes it will be. She says she will walk away without a care. But the moment she does, she will break. It will shatter her. And there will be hardly anyone there to pick up the pieces.

Many of you will likely believe the same thing of yourselves.

Many of you will think you will stand as tall as a tree and be able to walk away.

Remember that I broke down and gave in to Jenova.

Remember that cloud nearly succumbed to the black materia and almost killed Tifa.

Do I need to go on?

We are all the most fragile when we lose the people we love. Be it to betrayal, death, abandonment...and so on.

Never think you are strong enough or prepared enough to withstand any of those things.

Never think it won't happen to you.

[literaticat]

Hi Jenn. I have a Zoom meeting with a children’s publisher who has expressed interest in publishing my novel but first want to discuss with me some points on whether it would be more suitable for YA or MG audiences. I don’t have an agent. They are not a small publisher but accept both agented and unagented writers. 1. I’m wondering if you have any advice in general for authors about to have a first time meeting with a publisher? 2. Also, more specifically, given they’re going to discuss whether it’s more suitable for YA or MG, this makes me think some rewrites might be asked for or suggested. I’m just wondering if you think this is more likely to be an offer or a revise and resubmit request like some agents offer? I’m okay with revising, even extensively, but at this stage given I’ve had R&Rs with agents before, I’d rather not do that unless there is an offer and contract signed first and am not sure how I’d convey that if it comes up. Thank you so much.

I would just say, re the call, just go into it with an upbeat attitude, like you are meeting an old friend for coffee. It's not a job interview or a police interrogation -- it's just more like a "get to know you" friendly kind of thing, you don't need to be freaked out.

When they talk about your book, listen with an open mind. Don't agree to anything drastic BUT ALSO, don't argue or get aggro about anything -- just take in what they are saying, answer questions that are asked, etc. They might well have suggestions for revision and want to know if you are amenable to them, and I think it's fine to say you ARE amenable to them (if you are!) -- or, if you aren't so sure, say something like "I'd definitely be open to trying that" or "hmm, I'd have to noodle around with that and see if I can make it work" or whatever. It might be a fair amount of info to take in, and you might need to sit and think about it for a while for it to make sense, and that's OK.

If they make an offer, you can say, hey, I'll have to think about it, can you send me these terms in an email, that would be really helpful!

I have zero idea if they will offer or give you an R&R, obviously, I haven't seen any of the correspondence and I don't know them OR you! But I would go in assuming that it probably WON'T be an offer. It's just rather unusual, I think, that a publisher would schedule a call to talk over something revision-wise (like "is this a MG or a YA") and make an offer -- that sounds more like they want to see what YOU are thinking and if their thoughts align with yours, etc, before they go to the next step. (But who knows, I guess!)

Personally I would not reject the idea of a revision without a contract out of hand. (Again, you don't have to say YES to doing it immediately -- but I'd urge you to at least THINK about it!) If the editor is saying something like, "I want to take this to my acquisitions meeting, but I think it will have a better chance if you do XYZ" -- and you agree in theory with those thoughts, and you DO want them to take it to the acquisitions meeting? DO XYZ. They only have one opportunity to present this to their team, and I'd want to help them in any way they needed to make their case as strong as it could be when they do.

What you MIGHT do, though, is say "I hear you -- I agree with *whatever* -- but would you actually need a full revision? Or just a new synopsis, or a few chapters?" -- because it's quite likely that they would NOT need the full revision, that just knowing you are on the same page might be enough -- or perhaps giving them a sample of the "new version" would be enough. (Don't do it in five minutes, either -- take the time you need to take, within reason - I'm 100% sure they would rather have it be great than be immediate. At the VERY least, even if you finish the revision quickly - PLEASE don't send it immediately! Sleep on it for a couple days and re-read, because otherwise I can pretty much promise you WILL send them something that has mistakes in it and regret that!)

But again -- it totally depends how the conversation goes. Just keep an open mind!

[one-abuse-survivor]

tbc, i'm not trying to justify abuse. if this comes off like that, just delete this pls so i don't trigger other folks but. how can i justify judging my abuser by all their abusive actions towards me and others when i don't judge everyone else for the shitty things they've done all the time?

how is it okay for me to go "ok i don't want anything to do with you bc of xyz you've done over the years" when i wouldn't want ppl looking at me and constantly going "oh it's fucked up so many times over the years, what a loser" or some shit.

like. is that me holding them to a standard i shouldn't? its not like i bring up different shit they've done all the time, even if it bothers me, but i'd hate it if someone was constantly judging me for shit i've messed up on [though, tbc, i have not abused anyone] throughout my life. is it different bc i've apologized n changed wherever and whenever i could in situations that i fucked up and they haven't? or is that me making excuses for holding them to a higher standard i don't do to everyone else?

sorry if this doesn't make sense. im just feeling a bit conflicted rn. - mc

Hey there ❤️ I understand what you mean, don't worry.

I think there's a difference between judging someone and not wanting them in your life.

When you judge someone for the bad things they've done, that can serve a purpose. For example, it can help you understand where you draw the line on what things you think are okay to do. It can help you reflect on which things you would want someone to apologise for. But judging a person can also be unfair—like if, for example, you judge someone solely based off of something wrong they did many years ago, or like if you keep a list of how many times a person has made a mistake so you can hold it against them. That is, indeed, holding someone to an unfair standard by demanding moral perfection from them.

Deciding you don't want anything to do with another person serves a different purpose. Sometimes it's about maintaining a social image, or about clashing personalities. But, in the case of abuse, it's about keeping yourself safe from a person who has hurt you, or who you know could hurt you because they've already hurt someone else. It's about prioritising your safety and well-being by setting and enforcing boundaries.

You can do both things at once (judge someone for being an abuser, and cut someone out for being an abuser), but they're not the same thing. And I do think "I don't want people to judge me for my past mistakes" and "I don't want this abusive person in my life" can absolutely coexist.

Ultimately, you always have a right to decide who you do and don't want to have in your life, for any reason. Yes, there are people out there who only want to surround themselves with people who they deem have perfectly clean moral slates. Personally, I wouldn't give my time of day to those people. But there is plenty of middle ground between that, and giving an infinite amount of chances to an abuser on the off chance you might be unfair to them if you don't.

You don't have to justify wanting to cut someone out of your life. It's your right. They'll get other chances at relationships where they'll be able to prove they've changed, if they indeed have. You don't have to be the one to give them that chance. It's your right to prioritise your own boundaries, safety, and peace of mind.

I hope that helps. Sending a virtual hug ❤️