#op made it a joke by including this

[werkwerkelizaaa]

For posterity.

Soooo since the mcs for Hearts on Fire are an April's Fools joke...was the declaration that the mcs are pronoun of choice a joke too? Or is that actually true?

[rebloggingrexan]

[becausegoodheroesdeservekidneys]

Actually, I think this does link in with a wider conversation that I have been thinking for a while Tumblr maybe needs to hear.

There's a common meme on this site now that no one here has any reading comprehension skills. The best one is, of course, the original "No offense but reading comprehension on this site is piss poor/How dare you say we piss on the poor" post, which gave rise to the nickname "pissing-on-the-poor website". There's also the "I like pancakes/How dare you say waffles are terrible" one. Both of these are great, because they're silly jokey ways to show two closely related phenomena that are probably the commonest ways to fail a reading comprehension check.

The first is someone reading certain catchphrases or buzzwords in the post, and based on their own biases or prior experiences or whatever else, their brain simply fills in what it reckons the poster is saying on the topic. Instead of reading the rest of the sentence and digesting it, the reader then just uses their assumption as the interpretation, and reacts to that.

The second is closely related, because it also uses biases and prior experiences to to interpret the post, but rather than ignoring what the OP is actually saying, it instead performs a series of gymnastic leaps to construct a whole new assertion on the OP's behalf that simply isn't there.

There's also a third, of course; that one is people being so eager to feel smug and superior over someone they perceive as Bad that they wilfully assume the OP is stupid or being serious when they're actually joking. And if the reader hadn't been so blinded by their desire to get to look down on someone, they'd have seen the very obvious tells, sometimes even including sentences like "Obviously this is a joke." (I think we have all seen examples of these. Also, in a bid to avoid as many reading comprehension fails here as possible, this does not include misunderstandings borne entirely of neurodiverse struggles to parse intentions; but, neurodiverse people are just as likely as neurotypicals to have ego play a part in their misinterpretation of others, and that is what this point is about.)

And the thing is... actually, we are all capable of any of these. I imagine a sizable chunk of people reading until this point were probably thinking "Lol, yeah, people are so stupid," but na, nage, I'm not having that. Literally everyone does these sometimes. And it becomes a particular risk when the topic under discussion is something that might brush against an issue that is a pressure point for you, like a social justice talking point that you are forever having to argue with internet strangers about, for example. Your brain holds schemas! And sometimes it likes to pattern match things before it deigns to tell you about its findings! And that can hit you right in the emotions, which if they are strong enough, really can shut down all rational thought.

But. This brings me to the real point of the post.

Because the thing is, we have all saddled up and gone to war under these conditions, or at the very least been strongly tempted to. And a vital skill that literally everyone has to learn, sooner or later, is:

Before you hit 'reply', double check the post to make sure you fucking understood it.

And that does not mean "simply re-read, confirm your bias, carry on." It means, "Is it possible to read this post from the point of view of someone who doesn't intend it the way I've taken it? If I put myself in the shoes of an innocent, could they still have written these words? Is there another interpretation for these phrases?"

And you do have to do this step. You simply do have to. Because if your desire is to 'clap back' and call someone a gargling knobskin made of garbage, fuck me sideways but you must see that it is imperative that you check if they actually deserve that kind of treatment first. You cannot spend your time claiming that we must all choose to be kind and then not bother doing your due diligence before screaming a person's various and assorted bigotries at them. If you misread it, and they were innocent - you are the raging aggressive cunt in this situation.

It does not matter that you reacted from an emotional place of normally having to defend yourself either, by the way. Sure, that makes the quality of your human soul better than that of the average Redditor who just enjoys anonymously hurting people, I guess? But it's also irrelevant. If you messaged someone and called them a misogynist because you performed several mental somersaults and landed on your own sore spot when they meant no such thing, you are the attacker. You owe them an apology. And yeah, sure, you can explain your over-reaction as the product of your normal experiences if you like, but that is only an explanation, not an excuse. You are still the asshole here. You still need to apologise and mean it.

And you could have avoided it if you'd done that due diligence, as you should have. If you're going to take a swing, make sure it's the right target. This was once described to me as donkey people - they don't think, they just kick. This is admittedly a little unkind to donkeys, who always do their due diligence, but I feel it's an apt metaphor.

TL;DR: If you feel moved to angrily reply to something, first make sure you've interpreted it right. Don't be a donkey person. And if you ask for clarification, people are innocent until proven guilty. Ask nicely. If they are a bigot, you can then smelt them for parts.

[sgt-tombstone]

do you think the recruits make chuck norris type jokes about the 141?

lieutenant riley doesn't go hunting, because hunting implies the possibility of being unsuccessful. lieutenant riley goes killing.

one time sergeant mactavish threw a grenade and killed five enemies. and then it exploded.

sergeant garrick sleeps with a pillow under his gun.

captain price has a bear rug in his room. it's not dead, just scared like the rest of us.

oh my god, 100% yes

Everyone thinks it started with Ghost, but Price was the original hardcore spooky bastard (in a very Chuck Norris kind of way), especially after he got promoted to captain. All of the rookies who made those kind of jokes are gone now, though, so he hasn't heard a Norris joke in a while

Enter Simon Riley.

It starts out kinda small, just an exaggerated rumor every now and then (he wears a skull mask; no matter how terrifying he is, people are going to talk), but then someone brings back Ye Olde Chuck Norris Joke, just one, and the entire mess hall lights up

Everyone is SO CAREFUL not to let Ghost hear about it, especially not the rookie who originally brought it up. By the end of the week, every rookie on base is whispering them and giggling about it. They've gotten more and more outlandish, as jokes do, and because none of the 141 do themselves any favors, especially when they step off the plane from their most recent op covered head to toe in blood, guns little more than mangled pieces of metal, their gear nearly in tatters, but they're all smiling and laughing like they're out for a day at a theme park

Price loves it. It reminds him of his younger days, before he got strapped with so much desk duty, when he really struck fear in the hearts of friends and enemies alike. He's always been the monster in the dark for terrorists, but his years have softened him around allies. Hearing the rookies whisper wild jokes back and forth is incredibly nostalgic and very affirming for him

Gaz and Soap? They're in on it, 100%. They both heard about it almost immediately after it happened and all it took was a shared glance to decide to feed the flames. Whenever they have babysitting rookie training duty, they'll drop little tidbits of "lore", most of it fake but some of it true. They don't have to stretch the truth too much because they know the lunch break gossip the next day will have blown everything out of proportion anyway. Whenever they hear a rookie go, "well, I heard...", they'll always pipe up with, "that's not how it happened, here's what really happened..." and the rookies fall for it every time. They have a shared note where they keep their favorite jokes they hear around base

Ghost hates it. He's used to striking enough fear into the hearts of rookies that they stay approximately forty-seven feet away from him at all times because the very sight of him has them shaking in their boots, but as the jokes grew more bizarre, the fear has been replaced with amusement. It's an awed sort of amusement, but still. Every time he hears a rookie giggle behind his back, he can't help but feel a bit mocked. It's fine when he calls himself nothing but a tool in the army's hand, and he's gotten used to (and comfortable with) being seen as nothing more than a walking weapon, but there are enough true stories about him to garner fear and awe; he doesn't need people making up lies.

It all comes to a head when a rookie starts talking a little too loudly, probably unaware that Ghost is even in the room. It's something stupid, so stupid that it's not even funny, but then Soap butts into the conversation, and Ghost tenses. They meet each other's eyes and Soap keeps direct eye contact as he smirks and says, "In an average living room there are a thousand objects Ghost could use to kill you, including the room itself."

Which is, objectively, true. But there's a glint in Soap's eye, the sort of mischievousness that Ghost loves so much, and he realizes that Soap just gave him the perfect opportunity. Like bait in a perfectly hidden trap. Ghost steps close to the back of the unsuspecting rookie, surrounded by a gaggle of even more unsuspecting rookies, and leans down to whisper in his ear.

"And I'll use every last one of them on you if I ever hear another joke on base, Private."

God, he hopes he isn't a corporal.

Apparently he isn't because the man jumps almost two feet in the air, a choked-off scream escaping his lungs as he whips around to find Ghost standing far too close for comfort, staring him dead in the eyes.

"Me, sir?" He stutters out, and Ghost almost smiles at the fear in his voice. The other rookies shoot to their feet as well, already edging towards the exit but unwilling to take their eyes (or ears) off of the conversation.

"Yes, you," Ghost rumbles, deep and dangerous. "If I hear anyone make a Ghost joke, I will hunt you down and show you why they call me The Ghost."

The poor soldier stammers out an affirmative, or maybe an apology, but he and his friends are out the door before Ghost can really parse out the words, and then it's just him and Soap. Soap, who's grinning like a lottery winner, eyes ablaze.

"That was hot, sir."

"You're fucked up, MacTavish," Ghost grumbles, but he can't keep the smile off his face. Maybe he could have some fun with the 141 jokes after all...

[more-gremlin-than-fae]

I reblogged this once already without commentary but actually I am team "Do" BUT and this is the part that leads to most of these tragedies: "Do it with respect"

The ocean can and will kill you, without pity or remorse, whether you're on or under it.

But you can make exploring it safer by:

respecting the decades of expertise that go into the classification and certification of vessels instead of saying shit like “The vast majority of marine (and aviation) accidents are a result of operator error, not mechanical failure” - yeah, you know why, dipshit? because there are fucking standards in place for the mechanical stuff which, unlike people, operate in expected ways because they meet those standards

respecting that things can and will go wrong and having an actual plan for emergencies instead of coming to it with the attitude "At some point, safety is just pure waste" - Listen, you will never make anything 100% safe, especially not in the ocean, but that is not the attitude I want the person in charge of designing or signing off on safety protocols to have, good lord. You know what you can have instead of a ship with a Starlink*, an X-Box controller and a door that bolts on from the outside? Electromagnetic ballast, and multiple methods of communication on board, and a locator beacon, and a door that you can fucking open from the inside so that if and when shit goes wrong, your boat will goddamn float to a place where the radio works and you can be rescued and in the meantime there is air to fucking breathe. Certified submarines are built with multiple redundancies because even with certifications and the best inspections in the world, stuff. goes. wrong.

respecting the weather conditions - you know why they were going to be "probably the only manned mission to the Titanic in 2023"? BECAUSE THE WEATHER CONDITIONS WERE LOUSY. It was the worst winter in Newfoundland (which is saying something, boy howdy) in decades, every other group that might have had the intention to do a manned mission looked at that same weather window these guys saw and went "Nope, the sea is changeable and the weather this is year is more fickle than it's been in decades, no thanks"

*Y'all I HAVE a Starlink and it is actually genuinely better than many internet providers - like it's equivalent to a fiber connection and I remote in to work on it most of the time - but also it stops working when: it gets too hot, it gets too cold, it does not like where it is in the garden, i haven't signed in to my account in awhile, and between 3 and 3:15pm every day because there is a tree branch casting a shadow on it for that 15 min window, IT SHOULD NOT BE A KEY PART OF YOUR SAFETY GEAR because it is still new technology that is prone to unexpected failure.

And even if it wasn't [points at multiple redundancies line above], boats carry: a radio, lights, an airhorn, an anchor or three, a big-ass flashlight or spotlight, signal flares, signal flags, and these days probably GPS, not to mention the adults on board having cell phones just for a day sail. You know why? Because conditions on large bodies of water can and do turn at the drop of a hat and if you don't have safety gear, you could become the cautionary tale.

We set out once to sail locally from like, Vancouver to, I think we were heading for Bowen - not even crossing the Gulf - and when we started it was overcast but it was not even supposed to rain. Next thing we know, it's goddamn snowing. And not just snowing because the wind has picked up (enough that it caused the jib to rip) so it's whiteout conditions. We're still in Burrard Inlet but we cannot see more than a couple of meters on any side of the boat - the sky is white, the sea is white, all you can see is snow on all sides where not 5 before we were in comfortable sight of the shoreline.

We know we're near Lighthouse Park, but we can't see the lighthouse and we don't know if we'll see the rocks before we run into them. So here is teen me scrambling up the boat in nothing but a sweater (with a PFD over it) and jeans frantically pulling down the damaged sail, while my dad tries not to steer us into any rocks and my mom is trying to pull out the GPS unit (which was a new thing for itty bitty sailboats like us to have at the time) and the air horn and the PDFs and whatever we had in the way of cold weather gear. If we hadn't had the GPS (or the boat engine) to get us back to False Creek, we might have had to try and anchor out until conditions cleared or edge towards shore and hope we didn't run aground while we tried to find to a shoreline to follow back.

I could hear my parents but not see the cockpit of the boat (that is roughly 20ft) and the sea was rough enough that I was likely to end up IN it, if I'd tried to get back, plus we needed someone at the bow to keep watch for hazards. I spent a very miserable time the whole way back huddled in the front of the boat, using the broken sail as both cushion and emergency blanket, while my parents got us back to our moorage safely.

TAKE YOUR SAFETY MEASURES SERIOUSLY OR DON'T TAKE TO THE SEA

I think the thing about the ocean is that it does not want us there, and it can kill you so much to prove this.

Look, SOME of us grew up repeatedly hearing The Wreck of the Edmund Fitzgerald from a young age and that Lake Superior never gives up her dead. The ocean is like that but MUCH BIGGER and MORE.

Do not!

[hiveswap]

Summary of The Cat of The Year poll atrocities of 2023/2024

I'm sure that most people on this side of tumblr have seen the Jellie vs. Nefarious Anglerfish poll going around with like 60k votes at this point, and I'd really like clear up some of what happened since I was around for the whole thing.

Url blocked out for op's privacy. They have already left but don't look for it if you haven't seen it/don't harrass them if you already have.

1. The previous round (preparation)

I discovered the poll in its previous round, needless to say she beat Jort's ass severely. This was around the 3rd of january, meaning that this round finished before jellie's passing with only about 7k votes. Op did add their own piece of propaganda from their main:

...which was FINE. (except for stuff we'll see later) Of course running a poll while biased isn't ideal but I for one didn't even know they were the op until much later. I also added my own piece in a separate thread, and they didn't interact with it at all. There was no drama.

2. The Finale

Jellie unfortunately passed away right before the starting of this poll, which was the catalyst for what happened next. Op did exactly as last time and added a slightly more mean spirited encouragement to vote for the other contestant. This is the point where I believe that i fucked up personally.

I added this thinkpiece accusing op of associating all mcyters with Dream (who we all hate for the record) despite them not alluding to him at all. This is because tumblr has a history of disimissing all mcyters as... everything that dream was been accused of. Op did allude to not caring for mcyt. but they didn't say what i accused them of. This is important to point out because this reblog of mine is still being spread. Jellie was in the lead at the time, but not by the time i woke up next morning.

I won't be including anyone else's additions because I don't want to put blame on any specific person. Just felt like clearing up mine.

3. The Fuckening

Some time later op made this post to their personal blog:

which is insanely shitty because, as other people have pointed out, the "lame ass youtube cat" didn't die to inconvinience op or ruin their fun, and people would have probably voted for her anyway because jelly is universally beloved in the mcyt community. This isn't anti democratic. This post was added to the poll with a caption saying op should not be running this poll, and it took off. Op later went on to say that this was a joke:

This apology was not taken well by people, (including me) because "you were not meant to see it" isn't an apology and they still very much made fun of someone's pet dying. Safe to say this did not make the drama stop and only added fuel to the flame. I believe this was the point where the conversation of mcyt fans being unjustly sent hate to was reignited.

We should discuss that! it's a real thing that happens often and is equal to childish bullying. However, in this case, OP was the only one getting sent hate to my knowledge. The notes were mostly saturated by mcyt fans, and even now i can only find one or two hateful stance towards us under the whole 20k notes post.

4. Conclusions

Op posted a second apology to the catoftheyear blog to try and calm people down (i believe this is comprehensive and a lot better than the previous one) The blog was deactivated shortly after, so i only have my phone screenshots of it that i also added to the poll itself at some point:

(Edit) Here's proof that op did not write the justification they got criticised for, from the notes of the original poll:

This apology didn't get seen, or get accepted by enough people, so op made this statement on their personal:

Needless to say I am deeply dissapointed (and guilty) that it's come to this. Yes, op said tasteless things that made us all angry, but telling a human being to commit suicide is worse than being insensitive about a stranger's pet dying. Even after I posted about the blog being decatived i had someone come into my notes to wish that "they never find happiness" i mean wtf. This isn't like shipping where we can do whatever without the content creator's input. this is fucking harrowing and i can't imagine how i'd feel if this was done in my/my pet's name especially after losing them as recently as a week ago.

I hope no one from hermitcraft who is on here (let alone scar holy shit) learns about this like they did with previous lighthearted tournaments. If you truly respect the creators you claim to be a fan of as people, you do not tell people to kill themselves over them. And finally, let Jellie fucking rest, guys. she had a long, good life. I hope op can come back and also avoids behaving like this if they ever wish to do so. I'm angrier at mcytblr, though.

[allurefix]

FAN OF A FAN - 3k+

18+ 𝙈𝘿𝙉𝙄 | 𝘱𝘭𝘶𝘴 𝘴𝘪𝘻𝘦 𝘣𝘭𝘬 𝘧𝘦𝘮, 𝘪𝘮𝘱𝘭𝘪𝘦𝘥 𝘣𝘰𝘥𝘺 𝘴𝘩𝘢𝘮𝘪𝘯𝘨, 𝘢𝘨𝘦 𝘨𝘢𝘱, 𝘰𝘳𝘢𝘭 (𝘧 𝘳𝘦𝘤𝘦𝘪𝘷𝘪𝘯𝘨) , 𝘶𝘯𝘱𝘳𝘰𝘵𝘦𝘤𝘵𝘦𝘥 𝘴𝘦𝘹, 𝘭𝘦𝘸𝘥 𝘥𝘦𝘴𝘤𝘳𝘪𝘱𝘵𝘪𝘰𝘯 𝘰𝘧 𝘣𝘰𝘥𝘺 𝘧𝘭𝘶𝘪𝘥𝘴.

The packed Javits convention center was rumbling with the sounds of noise, but the thumping in Bree's chest was probably louder. Her heartbeat drowned out everything, including the conversation those around her were having while they stood waiting.

Bree didn't do events with large gatherings because it triggered her anxiety. Experiencing Fanatics Fest was especially overwhelming, as she was by herself. Bree was definitely out of her comfort zone, but it was worth it because she'd be meeting her fav wrestler and crush Jey Uso.

Currently she and surrounding fans had been waiting for about an hour, as the Fest was unorganized. The times for photo-ops were either wrong or delayed, leaving everyone confused. Not to mention there were no seating areas, so Brees feet were aching from having to stand.

To lessen her uneasiness, she talked with her friends in a groupchat. Updating them on the situation and how she was feeling, getting support and jokes in return.

Finally after what felt like forever, fans were directed to Jey's line. And with the line moving fast, Bree's heart-rate increased as she neared the Samoan wrestler. The small breaths she inhaled and exhaled weren't helping stabilize her jittery nerves.

She glanced down at her hands, one holding her phone and the other holding a handmade card. Jey loves waffle house, so she included a $25 gift card, along with a heartfelt note. Now what was hidden behind the gift card, was a piece of paper with her number and name. A sneaky yet bold attempt at shooting her shot.

Four girls were in front of Bree, and she could see that the interactions were short, barely any time to make an impact. Hopefully she could make hers in another way.

She was next in line, watching as a fan got a pic before walking off. Then it was her turn, and with a whirlwind of emotions she walked over to him with the cutest smile.

"Hiii, h-happy early birthday" she beamed, handing him the card as he grinned "for me? Thank you baby."

Her brain short-circuited.

Baby?

The way it rolled off his tongue in that deep voice, almost made her collapse. Somehow she maintained her composure, and they shared a side hug before the picture was taken. She inhaled his scent, nearly fainting at the masculine cologne that flooded her nostrils. They pulled away as he said one last thing "I appreciate it."

"You're welcome."

In a flash she was ushered away as she looked back to see him engaging with another fan. She covered her mouth, voice muffled through her hand "what the fuckkk." Taking a deep breath after.

She ended up finding the womens restroom to collect herself, entering the last stall as she then texted her chat. Simultaneously, she ordered a lyft, needing to get back to her apartment and off her feet immediately.

｡ ･ : * ˚ : ✧ ｡ ｡ ･ : * ˚ : ✧ ｡ ｡ ･ : * ˚ : ✧ ｡ ｡ ･ : * ˚ : ✧ ｡ ｡ ･ : * ˚ : ✧ ｡

Later on, Jey had gotten nicely settled in his hotel room after an eventful day. Seeing all the love and support from fans made his heart swell. He felt great appreciation for everyone that showed up, let alone gifting bracelets, birthday cards, and waffle house gift cards. One of the cards in particular, contained a phone number belonging to Bree.

His brain racked on which fan that was, as there were so many. Too many faces to try and decipher, or narrow down. So as he lay in bed he decided to just hit up the number and see.

Jey: This Bree?

###-###-####: Yea..who's this?

Jey: It's Jey

Bree: Wait really? srry can u send proof?

Bree: Just making sure

Jey: Gotchu

He recorded a quick vid of him in bed and sent it to her. She couldn't believe her eyes, it was definitely Jey Uso texting her.

Bree: Omgggg

Bree: I didn't think you'd use my number😭😭

Jey: You gave it to me for a reason lol

Jey: Send a pic and refresh my memory

Bree: [pic attached]

"Damn," Jey cursed to himself, instantly recalling that pretty face.

Jey: I remember you. What's yo age?

Bree: 21

Jey: Oh so you just got a babyface lol

Bree: Yeah I get that a lot😩

Jey: You pretty doe

Bree: Aww thanks🥰🥰

Jey: Whachu up to?

Bree: In bed, bored😔

Jey: Me too. You live here?

Bree: Yep! In harlem

Jey: I'm at the Hampton Inn

Jey: You tryna keep me company?

Bree was having a mini meltdown on her bed as she kicked her feet and squealed at the invite.

Bree: Oh? 😳 I'm down!

Jey: Bet. Lemme kno when you here, I'll come down to the lobby.

Oh hell yes she thought, while quickly ordering a lyft to the hotel.

Excited wasn't even the word as she looked over herself in her tall mirror. She was wearing a pink pj lounge set, choosing to cover up with an oversized hoodie. She then slipped her feet into her slides, grabbing her keys and phone before heading out.

｡ ･ : * ˚ : ✧ ｡ ｡ ･ : * ˚ : ✧ ｡ ｡ ･ : * ˚ : ✧ ｡ ｡ ･ : * ˚ : ✧ ｡ ｡ ･ : * ˚ : ✧ ｡

Bree couldn't fathom sharing a bed with her fav wrestler, but here she was sitting beside Jey in his hotel room.

Butterflies flooded her stomach as she sat criss-cross, fiddling with fingers while he lay back relaxed. He picked up on her timid demeanor, finding it cute as his lips curved into a grin.

"Oh you shy huh? Demure."

She busted out laughing, flipping her hair over her shoulder "not demureee.... but i'm really just nervous that's all. Like I was freaking out to my friends earlier after meeting you and now..." she trailed off, still in disbelief.

"Well I never been in my hotel room wit a fan, so this crazy for me too" he joked, easing the awkwardness. She giggled as he grabbed her arm, making her slightly jump as she looked at him.

"Lay down."

He didn't have to tell her twice, lying back as her head met the pillow.

"You not hot in that?" Jey nodded at her hoodie.

She was definitely burning up under the thick fabric, but still made an excuse "I have on pjs under..."

Jeys brow raised as he joked "what they ugly?"

She stifled a laugh, covering her hand "no."

He sucked his teeth, teasing her "you kno you hot as hell right now."

She bit her plump lip, nodding in confirmation as she sat up and stood to her feet. Heart pounding through her chest as she pulled the large hoodie up and over her body. She could hear Jey grunt "damn" as he saw her backside, cheeks peaking out her shorts that rode high.

After putting her hoodie in a chair by the window, she went back over to the bed as he shamelessly gazed at her big boobs in that top.

His eyes weren't discreet, flushing her face warm as she got on the bed and laid on her side.

"What? she quietly whined under his burning stare, big dilated orbs that pierced her soul. It was intimidating to be looked at like his next meal, even if she wanted to be.

"You kno you bad right?"

There was that depth again, making her thighs subconsciously press together as her kitty throbbed. But his attempt at complimenting her only produced a somber response.

"I been picked on about my weight tho" she mumbled, as his brows knitted.

Bree was full figured- thick all over with a pudgy stomach. Nothing to feel ashamed for.

"Fuck em, man or woman. Don't let nobody make you feel insecure. Be confident in yo self cause you damn sho bad" he reiterated strongly. His advice and encouraging words resonated in her soul as they shared eye contact. She gave a closed smile "thank you."

"You welcome." He then reached over and grasped her chin, inching their lips closer until they smashed together. Her eyes closed as they shared a sensual kiss, lips slowly grooving in harmony.

"Mmph" she moaned into his mouth as it parted to stick his tongue in hers.

As the kiss intensified with wet smacks and lament, Jey pulled away making her whine.

"Strip" he commanded, voice drenched in lust as he sat up and removed his white tee. She quickly followed, pulling off her long-sleeve top that was discarded on the floor. Next she unhooked her bra and let her big breasts spring free, making Jeys eyes pop.

"Damn" he grunted, moving atop her and meeting her lips once more. The kiss was more sloppy as he hooked her legs around his waist, grinding his hips into her clothed center. Her arms wrapped around his neck as he kissed along her neck.

"This whachu wanted huh? some of this dick? That's why you gave me yo number?"

"Y-yea" she admitted faintly.

"Can I eat that pussy first?" he asked while looking into her eyes. Her chest heaved with every languid breath, and she nodded. Before she knew it, her nipple was being vacuumed between his lips. She moaned as his large firm hands groped her massive flesh, his tongue licking around her boob with a insatiable hunger.

Her big orbs tried to stay focused on him loving on each breast, but the sensations forced her lids to flutter. It's like he was trying to clean a plate empty.

Her panties were definitely soaked, she couldn't have but leak.

She cradled the back of his head as his kisses traveled lower, and lower. His hands tugged her shorts down her legs, taking them off with a toss in the air. Her wet spot was visible as his lips formed a snarl.

"Gotchu wet already?" his tongue darted across his lips sexily, and her pink lace panties were swiftly snatched down. Once they were off, Jeys mouth watered at the sight of her fat pussy. Her juices gleamed off her puffy folds, and her clit was slightly larger.

"Shit" he cursed under his breath, licking his lips again as he pushed her knees up, making her legs bend. Bree gulped as his face was level with her heat. His fingers parted her slimy folds, seeing her wet hole clench around nothing as it dripped essence. His tongue licked a stripe up as she gasped at the introduction to his oral.

"Oh fuck!"

"I gotchu baby" he spoke against her flesh, slurping her up before french kissing her pussy.

a soft moan escaped Brees lips, as her eyes floated upward.

This was really happening, reality had long set in as Jey ate away at her sopping cunt. It wasn't some erotic dream, she was finally getting what she desired in her freaky mind.

"Oh!" her mouth dropped open as he sucked on her clit, tongue flickering against her sensitive bud. She sucked in a needy breath as he repeated the combo.

"Ahh fuck!" she gripped her titties as her back arched off the bed. "Mmm."

She sounded so angelic to him, a soft and delicate sound padding his ears as his wet smacks and slurps overtook them. He couldn't help but groan too as he enjoyed his full course meal.

He released her slick folds with a pop "mmph, this pussy good baby" diving back in with haste as she whimpered.

Her lips remained parted as her hazy eyes glazed at him going to work. Shuddered breaths escaped her plump, glossed, lips. Edging that had Jey pre-cumming in his shorts. Damn he wanted to eat her for hours, but he craved that deeper connection. She'd already came in his mouth as he cleaned her mostly dry, leaving some natural lubricant for his dick.

He lifted up and maneuvered his shorts off as he dick sprung free. Now spit pooled in her mouth at the sight of his meat, thick, long, and slightly curved.

The sight before her was godly. Jey was truly the finest man on earth, gifted too just like she hoped.

But that was going into her?

He caught a look of fear from her and chuckled, pushing her legs back as he gripped her thighs. His devilish smile exposed his bottom grill, canines that glistened under the light.

Fuck he was so fine.

"Thank you baby" he bent down, planting a kiss as she mumbled "wait you heard that?"

"Bree stop playin wit me, Im bout to be in yo shit, talk as nasty as you want."

She bit her lip at his tone, looking into his eyes as he then lined his head up with her slit before sliding in. His eyes briefly shut as he glided into her constricting walls "ugh fuck" he groaned.

"Damn this shit tight" he lamented as he eventually reached balls deep, his head nudging her g spot as she whined in response.

He placed their foreheads together as she caressed his broad shoulders "talk to me" kissing her "how you want it?"

She found the courage to say "h-hard."

Jeys lips tightened as he had the green light to beat her walls loose. Glad he wouldn't have to hold back, only problem was the walls were thin. He had to give her a warning before he went crazy, not knowing if she was a screamer or not. She looked like it to him.

"You gotta keep it down aiight?" he held his index finger to her lips as she nodded.

His hips lifted as he dragged his length out enough before slamming it back in and earning a yelp from Bree. He clamped a hand over her mouth, eyeing her as he repeated his actions again and again. Practically pounding her poor cunt with as much brute force as he could muster.

It hadn't even registered that he wasn't using a condom, but it felt so much better.

"Tight ass pussy, who else been in it huh? This shit mine now" he spat as her eyes rolled to the back of her head. Removing his hand he threw caution to the wind and let her moan loudly. They'd definitely get a noice complaint, but fuck it. The whole floor would hear his name.

"Uhn! Uhn!"

"Daddy deep in that shit?"

"Y-yea daddy!" she mewled with her eyes clamped shut.

"Look at me when im in my pussy" he demanded, she opened her lids and her heart swelled in her chest as they shared intense eye contact. He was starring into her soul where his dick probably was with each thrust. The feeling of pure ecstasy engulfed Bree in strong tidal waves, drowning her in lust.

Jey gave every stroke his all as he aggressively rutted his hips inward. His determination to break her in evident in his expression, bottom lip trapped between his teeth.

"Mmm-ahh-Jey!" her pouty lips produced a cry as a pit in her stomach formed.

"You bout to cum huh? I feel it...that pussy trappin me" he talked between heavy breaths as he observed her love faces.

As her soaked walls contracted around his dick, he expelled a rough groan in response. The pressure was building up in him too, as the veins along his length pulsated amongst the haste friction. She hadn't reached her climax yet, but he needed to pull out unless she wanted to pop a plan B in the morning.

"Hugh shit!- I gotta-" on the verge of nutting, he ripped his dick out before a drop could leak. Bree whined in response as Jeys hand speedily cranked his flesh. His mouth fell open as guttural sounds escaped his throat. Droplets of his white creamy seed spurted out onto her belly as he emptied himself. With a sigh of relief, his motions stopped as he hovered over her.

"My bad, ain let you cum" he apologized before kissing her, "come ride me tho" swiftly moving off her and onto his back for round 2.

Bree blinked a few times, oh lord she thought, glancing at him waiting.

He read her expression, hesitant and reluctant- providing a deep guarantee before she could speak. "Baby I'mma grown ass man, ain no weight limit I gotchu. Now come ride this dick" his fingers curled in motion.

Her pussy jumped at the infliction in his command, and she needed no more convincing. She sat up and crawled over, slinging one leg on either side on him as she hovered over his hardened dick. Her fingers grasped the tip as she lined it up with her opening. And as her body sunk, his dick slipped between her slit and into her walls eliciting a moan. In this position, she had no choice but to take all 8 inches of him until she reached the base.

She gasped at him filling her up, thick stuffing her tiny hole and expanding her walls. "Oh god" flipping her hair behind her shoulder, as her hands planted on his chest to brace.

"Bounce on that dick baby, get yo nut" Jey encouraged deeply as he watched her under brim eyes. A lustful slip of the tongue across his lips at the buss-worthy visual of her huge breasts, effortlessly jiggling. Big brown jugs, with large dark areolas and perky nipples of arousal. Practically a mouth-watering sight, saliva pooling, being slid down his throat with every gulp.

She took her time getting adjusted to his size, tediously rocking her hips back and forth. Jey was in no rush, enjoying the view with his hands underneath his head.

And damn was it a view.

She slightly leaned forward, an arch forming in her back as she began to bounce on his dick, ass being thrown in a circle. Pussy gliding up and down his pole, creating a stimulating friction.

"Uhn!...uuuhn!"

"Get that shit baby" he grunted, marveling at her boobs bouncing too. He couldn't help but seize them in his massive hands, fingers groping the flesh and toying with her nipple while she continuously moaned.

This encouraged her to ride harder, as she repeatedly lifted all the way to his tip, only to drop down. Her volume drastically increasing each time as Jey groaned under her.

"Keep doin that shit mama."

She feverishly rolled her hips, grabbing his wrists as she resumed her bouncing. Losing her mind on that dick.

"Like that daddy?"

"Just like that baby...fuck you ridin that dick so good" his brows furrowed, as his teeth pierced his bottom lip. Bending his legs some, he pulled her down against his chest as their lips collided in a sloppy kiss. His hands finally got a firm grip on her ass cheeks, as much of her mounds as his palms could hold. He guided her up and down his dick as he thrusted, with hips bucking up from the bed. He grouped her flesh in circles, delivering a couple sharp smacks to her ass that had her whining.

"All that ass baby" admiration laced in his tone, truly in awe at how stacked she was. It didn't make no sense.

Bree's head dropped into his neck as she whimpered, letting him take over with rough strokes that had her dizzy. His arms snaked around her waist, as he raised his knees even more, acquiring the perfect angle. He began to fuck her at a speedy pace, dick drumming though her walls so fast her breath got caught in her throat.

She squealed as his tip kept hitting her gspot with precision, running wasn't an option as his muscular arms entrapped her. And his rugged course drawls of immense pleasure filled her ears as she pleaded for mercy. Knots and coils from within threatening to unravel, she was so close, needing to cum hard.

"Cum on this dick baby, hurry up fo' I put one in you" he found himself begging desperately as he twitched inside her again.

"Okayy okayy" she cried before releasing all over him, her creamy essence coating his dick as he steadily pumped. The substance stringing along their skin as it separated, gooey-like.

It's like Jey didn't have control of his own body as he continued thrusting her in half, he was about to throw caution to the wind and nut inside her. That's how good the pussy was.

But somehow, he gathered enough self restraint at the last second, lifting her off his dick as his cum spurted out the head like a volcano.

With a hand stroking a mile a min, he emptied the rest of his nut, dripping onto his fingers.

"Gah damn" he panted, coming to a halt and releasing his dick as her ass lowered once more.

Only thing that could be heard for a couple minutes were shared breaths of exasperation. Their chests heaved in sync, indicative of the intense session.

Jey spoke up first "baby?" turning his head to see her eyes closed as she started to snooze off. His clean hand patted her butt as she whined and squirmed.

He chuckled into her ear "we gotta clean up, c'mon." Tapping her again as she finally lifted off him, with a mug that mad him snort.

"Aye quit muggin and go pee."

She did as told, scooting off the bed and limping to the bathroom. Jey shook his head at her ass swaying with every step. He then got off the bed and followed behind her.

After she did her business and washed her hands, he followed suit. They went back into the room, taking opposite sides of the bed as they slipped underneath the covers. Her back was facing him as she succumb to slumber. Jey smiled before reaching over to turn off the nightstand lamp. As darkness engulfed the space, he got comfortable on his back before falling asleep as well.

[peridot-tears]

Hey MDZS fandom. I want you guys to be careful interacting with this person.

If you don't already know, Chinese people have had a long history with cultural erasure when it comes to taking on English-language names. It started with imperialism, and continues as a way to "assimilate" and avoid mockery of our language in western countries.

For Chinese diaspora like myself, it's another form of racism we face, to the point where some of us are reclaiming our names in everyday life. Here's an article about this movement happening across Asian diasporas in the United States -- just to name one instance out of many.

The responses to this post reflect that:

You can see that my comment assumed "good faith." However, OP deleted these comments and blocked me. (That didn't stop other people from calling it out as well, though I have to assume that if OP was so offended by my comment, the next few people will receive the same treatment.)

I honestly didn't like whipping up the diaspora statement -- that I wrote with multiple Chinese diaspora fans of MDZS, all of us hailing from multiple different countries and backgrounds, our ancestry coming from completely different regions of China -- because it meant that we were encountering another microaggression.

If you ever wonder why MDZS and danmei fandoms in general seem to be so bereft of Chinese diaspora voices, that's absolutely because of these microaggressions: Someone makes a joke, writes a story, writes some meta, that is culturally ignorant at best, offensive and harmful at worst, and when we gently correct them, explaining why it's racist, the person in question shuts us down, dismisses us, gets defensive, or worse.

Regardless of where you are -- fandom, social media, on the street, at work, at school -- as long as you are interacting with other people, your words matter and affect other people. That includes being racially offensive, even if you didn't intend to be. It's how you respond to the people you've insulted that reveals your character, how willing you are to be complicit in their mistreatment.

My rule of thumb has always been this -- if multiple people, including those of the culture you've just made a microaggressive joke about, find it unfunny, racist, or harmful, then you listen. Dismiss or ignore them, then yes -- you absolutely are racist.

[trexiejan]

I have a theory that Tom Taylor copied/took a lot of inspirations from Dickkory.

I may or may not be wrong but I just can't help but notice the timing and the similarities. A lot of things in dickbabs relationship are not very original at all. Most of the time they just steal concept from other couples.

Now going back to Tom, I suspect he was in a lot of social media apps (twitter, reddit, instagram etc) and secretly lurked in nightwing fandom groups and have read their posts and conversations etc. including about dickkory.

1. The concept of visiting his parents' grave

This panel of Kory and Dick showing up in his parents graveyard was shared in the Nightwing subreddit 1 month ago. How come 1 month later Tom wrote a similar thing for Dick and Babs?

Also notice Dick told Kory "You shouldn't be here" but Tom wrote Dick telling Babs "Thanks for coming here" it seems to me Tom really saw the kory comic and wanted to make the dialougue different for dickbabs to make them look better.

2. The concept of wearing each other's superhero costumes.

This fanart of dick and kory exchanging costumes was created by Laurarts on March 4, 2024, it went viral on twitter and it was also shared on the nightwing subreddit.

How come 1 month later Tom Taylor wrote that Dick and Babs wear each other's costumes too in Nightwing #113 that was published in April 17, 2024. 💀.

3. The concept of being freaky

Now my suspicions of Tom stalking and copying Dickkory content was solidified when he literally posted this gif of Dickkory from the DCAMU, notice how Dick and Babs started acting horny and freaky in his run after he tweeted this and Babs started teasing Dick and making sexual jokes to him like Kory does to Dick in the dcamu. 💀💀💀

4. The concept of A crowd of heroes watching them.

I remember a year ago I posted this screenshot of an article discussing the original plan for dickkory in reply to a thread where Tom Taylor got tagged by the person i was talking to. The person was a dickbabs shipper who insisted NTT dickkory was bound to fail, I told OP it's not true, i showed her this screenshot of the article that discussed the original wedding plan for dick and kory and where it also says a crowd of heroes would watch Dick and Kory. How come a few months later Tom Taylor wrote this dickbabs wedding scene in his run and made a crowd of heroes watch dickbabs too??? 💀

5. Wally being a shipper

This panel of Wally in Teen Titans Academy #9 being a Dickkory shipper was published in December 14, 2021, how come a few months later, Tom Taylor wrote Wally being a dickbabs shipper in Nightwing #91 (April 19, 2022). Wally felt ooc because he never once talked about dickbabs before tom wrote him in his book💀

6. The concept of a woman teaching Dick to be more than just a hero

Seriously, Kory already taught him this 😭 She was literally the reason why he didn't become a Batman 2.0, He already learned the whole "you can be more than just a hero and be in a happy relationship" lesson from Kory.

But Tom Taylor just had to bring him back to square 1 so he can make Barbara say this to him too, making her act like Kory 💀 it's funny cuz Barbara never acted like this before, don't forget she was the one who keep rejecting him and making him feel bad for trying to be happy before 💀💀💀

So yeah sorry if i'm being annoying about this, I might be wrong but even if i'm wrong it still doesn't make dickbabs original since dickkory writers and fanartist did these concepts first.

and tom taylor is known to be an obsessed dickbabs shipper who tried to have beef with dickkory shippers on twitter so copying dickkory content as a form of secret revenge sounds like something he would do 😬

[kazvha]

IT'S YOUR BIRTHDAY!

Summary: random birthday headcanons

Including: Various characters from genshin, bsd, hq, knb, eleceed, jjk, aot, bllk, op, hxh, fire force, mtp, valorant, resident evil, ff7

He's the sweetest thing ever. The night before your birthday, he decided to bake your favorite birthday cake without any prior knowledge. He honestly didn't expect to stay up the whole night. It took hours until the cake looked appealing and the result was still messy, but it's the thought that counts, right?

The next day he surprised you with the finished cake and some balloons in your favorite colors.

"Happy birthday love! Let's make the most out of today."

-

"Shit I forgot to taste the cake-"

"Did you say something?"

"No babe." 😊

- Wriothesley, Wanderer, Xiao, Yoru, Iso, Eren, Kayden, Chigiri, Karasu, Zoro, Chris, Sherlock, Moran, Kageyama, Sawamura, Daishou, Suna, Kagami, Aomine

He thinks that there's no better way to celebrate your birthday than celebrating your birth with your loved ones. So he planned a whole birthday party for you and invited all your friends. You make his life so much brighter and he wanted to give you something back.

"There is our star of the evening!! Tonight's gonna be your night! Come on everybody, let's sing!"

- Gaming, Kaeya, Lyney, Phoenix, Gekko, Jean, Connie, Reo, Ace, Carlos, Zack, Albert, Kuroo, Terushima, Atsumu, Sugawara, Kise

He made your birthday present all by himself. He picked out all his favorite pictures of you in his gallery and printed them out in a store. Then he bought a new scrapbook and carefully decorated each page of the book with pictures, some stickers, and a few doodles. He even wrote down his thoughts, inside jokes, and genuine comments and compliments. He hopes you'll like it. On the first page, he wrote:

"I love your smile in this picture. You know, your smile is actually something I look forward to every day. Happy Birthday. Let's create more happy moments together."

- Armin, Albedo, Kazuha, Kaveh, Leon, Sova, Isagi, Hiori, Cloud, William, Louis, Kenma, Muse, Akaashi, Aran, Osamu, Kuroko, Midorima

You woke up to your boyfriend pressing soft kisses all over your face and singing Happy Birthday for you. To your dismay, his voice sounded horrible! You still appreciated his effort though and gave him a tight & loving hug.

"haPPY BirtHday To YoUu, HaPpy BirThDAy tO yOuUuUuuU!"

- Itto, Ayato, Heizou, Atsushi, Bachira, Shidou, Aiku, Luffy, Sanji, Shanks, Sabo, Inhyuk, Reno, Oikawa, Hinata, Nishinoya, Lev, Bokuto, Tendou

"Get into your prettiest outfit, we're going out." He takes you on a shopping stroll and buys you literally everything.

"Today is a special day darling. Take everything you want, you deserve it."

The day ends with a hearty meal in your favorite restaurant. He takes your hand in his and rubs his thumb over your knuckles.

"I hope you could enjoy yourself thoroughly today."

- Childe, Diluc, Zhongli, Neuvillette, Alhaitham, Kartein, Sephiroth, Levi, Chamber, Barou, Rin, Sae, Law, Kid, Iwaizumi, Ushijima, Sakusa, Kita, Akashi

[cinnbar-bun]

Hugs and Kisses (ft various OP Characters!)

Characters included: Luffy, Zoro, Nami, Usopp, Sanji.

Scenario: How they give/like to give hugs and kisses to you.

Rating: SFW

You can read this on my AO3 here!

Pt. 2 over here

Luffy

He likes to give quick kisses. Cheek kisses, forehead kisses, nose kisses- imagine a puppy all over your face.

Impulsively does it whenever he feels. During dinner, during a battle, during a random cuddle session, heck, sometimes just seeing you makes him kiss your cheek.

Very rarely kisses you on the lip, not because he hates them, he just thinks your cheeks are super cute. He does give kisses on the lips, again, without rhyme or reason. But he tends to give them in his most passionate or loving moments.

He loves it when you pinch his cheeks and kiss them.

Since he adores your cheeks, he has a habit of kissing them, then literally nomming on your cheeks like they’re dumplings or mochi. It weirds out the others sometimes and Nami has hit him over the head to yell at him that you’re not food.

Honestly, you’ve just gotten used to it because your boyfriend and captain are very goofy in general. It was one of the reasons you fell for him, so it’s rather endearing to you.

He loves having you on his lap then wrapping his arms around you. He likes to rest his chin on your shoulder while you’re doing something. This is so he has major access to your shoulder and cheek.

He thinks your shoulders taste yummy and are fun to nom on, too.

Slight joke: if you use a scented lotion, perfume, shampoo, or body wash, he will kiss/nom on you and then comment on the flavor/scent.

“Do you think you could like, use meat body wash?” “No.”

Literal puppy energy it’s so cute.

Zoro

Let’s get one thing straight, it’s that he’s not kissing you in front of others. Honestly, people wonder if he has ever kissed you.

Yes. A lot. But only in private (except for some reasons we will discuss in a bit). He is not too big on PDA and prefers your relationship to remain behind closed doors. It’s not anyone’s business what you two do.

He loves, absolutely adores, giving you forehead kisses. He likes to brush your hair back with his hands and then press a kiss there.

Quick pecks on your lips when he is walking sometimes. They’re so brief hardly anyone catches what just happened. He continues walking like he didn’t just do that, but you smile because it’s obvious how much he cares for you.

He is a very tired guy, and his frequent naps are made much better with you. He loves the sound of you kissing his face and slight whispers in his ear to get him to sleep.

I don’t think he can fall asleep in completely silent areas. He’s very used to noise, and to him, if it’s completely silent, that signals danger and triggers his fight response. So having you making noise to him is comforting.

AKA, give him the ASMR experience and whisper and kiss his ears. He loves it wayyyy more than he feasibly should. He adores it so much.

If you were dating during the timeskip and maybe visited him at Mihawk’s, please know that Mihawk has witnessed this but will never speak of such a thing.

Like I mentioned earlier, he will kiss you in public sometimes. Sometimes. Very rarely.

I think he’s jealous or very overprotective, but he won’t act out on it often. He trusts you. But say if, for some reason, maybe Sanji or another person is taking too much of your attention or looking at you a bit too much? Well, you can’t blame Zoro for trying to remind them that he’s with you- not them.

He might throw his arm over your shoulder or will kiss your lips just to make sure they get the point that Zoro is yours.

Another time he’ll do it is reuniting during a fight or after a difficult fight. Doesn’t give a crap, if he can, he embraces you and gives you the most passionate kiss that says so much- I love you. I’m so glad you’re safe. I’ll protect you, I promise.

Nami

Nami is generous with her kisses. She gives them a lot.

She’s not for massive amounts of PDA, so she won’t do a major make out session in the middle of dinner or something- she's not like that.

She’s more about physical contact like holding your hand and kissing your cheek.

She tends to lean into your shoulders, but if you’re smaller than her or prefer it, she likes it when you lean into her. She just begins to absentmindedly stroke your hair.

Nami is a fun gal, she often likes kissing you with sparkly or bright colored lipsticks to leave a mark. She likes to see how long it takes before you notice.

Nami is still Nami, though, so she likes to use her kisses to get her way. But since she’s dating you, it’s not in a malicious or manipulative way. It’s mostly used as a joke and her playing up the theatrics.

Nami likes when you kiss her hands, the top of her head, and her wrist.

Actually, this one is a big thing for her, but when you two start dating, she loves wearing matching jewelry with you- especially shiny jewels or gold. She’s a bit of an expensive girly, but she’s got good taste. She would prefer something that’s more subtle, like an accessory with a matching color jewel for the both of you, or one with a jewel of your birthstones. Something that looks innocuous but ultimately is important to you and her. It’s like a nice secret!

When you two get those accessories and wear them, she adores you kissing hers. Again, with the wrist thing, if she got a bracelet with your birthstone on it and you kiss it, she’s practically swooning and grinning ear to ear.

Nami thinks your lap is a very nice seat and she tends to sit on your lap while she is looking through something or counting money.

Her kisses have a faint tangerine flavor to them.

Usopp

“Kisses? Hah, I’ve given so many of them!”

He’s never had one. You’re his first kiss, and he is excited but also gets nervous and shy that you think he’s a bad kisser.

Constant overthinker, he will deadass put so much chapstick or lip creams to have soft lips because he’s afraid you will break up with him over chapped lips.

He loves, loves, loves when you kiss his nose and cheek. He turns red in the cutest way and oh my god, please, the smile he has on his face. It’s too cute.

You’re most likely making the first move to kiss him, he’s too nervous and shy to do that and feels he’ll overstep his boundaries if he does it first.

But once you two get more comfortable and Usopp gains some confidence, Usopp will take the lead and kiss you. It’s an amazing growth.

Gets nervous doing it in public so he tries not to. But he probably brags and lies that he couldn’t kiss you in public because OBVIOUSLY you’d just melt from his amazing kissing skills, and he couldn’t put on the spot like that.

Usopp, however, is easily excitable and emotional though, so occasionally, he’ll pull you into a kiss without realizing. It’s only when he hears the others chuckle and snicker that he comes to reality and turns red.

Usopp adores it when you hug him and rest your head on his chest. It makes him feel manlier and like your hero.

He’ll immediately drop everything to hug you and hold you close.

Sanji

You know how most of the others on this list are more lowkey and try to keep their affections private? Yeah, abandon that thought when Sanji is involved.

He’s happy to kiss you and hold you in public, whatever you wish. You wish him to carry you bridal style and proudly proclaim his love for you? He will. He will do it. Absolutely.

The screams of “MELLORINE!” “MY LOVE!” “DAARRRRLING!” and various other pet names he has for you is practically heard all day long. Sanji is just so enthusiastic about being yours.

 He’s a gentleman though, first and foremost, so he will always be respectful of you and your boundaries.

He tends to kiss your cheek and your knuckles the most. It’s not just one kiss though, so you’re peppered with them in between romantic French phrases.

 On a similar vein to Nami- Sanji wants to buy both of you promise rings. They’re classy and elegant, but very expensive. He loves when you wear it around your fingers and happily remarks how much he adores you and can’t wait to be yours forever.

Likes to keep his hand around your waist and have you beside him. You’re his other half, and he feels it the most when you two sit side by side.

He has a bad habit (is it really a bad thing though?) where he likes to hold you close and just watch you. He melts at your little mannerisms and facial expressions. Sure, there might be a fantastic party or performance in front of him, but with you- you're all he can see, and he never wants to stop looking at you.

You two have started a fun game- getting flavored lip balms or chapsticks then kissing Sanji so he can guess the flavor. So far, he’s gotten all of them right!

If you are ever sad or require a bit of comfort, Sanji will simply hold you close and stroke your hair and back. The smell of cigarettes that remain on his clothing is oddly comforting as he makes sure to be extra careful with you.

[soupwings]

[cod-thoughts]

So i answered this ask about silly NikPrice headcanons and for one of them i say that Nik collects little trinkets from people. Well i have a list of the trinkets lol i didnt think about sharing it in the ask but i still like this idea so im gonna share it anyway :O

Nikolai is a secret hoarder of little mementos from people he cares about, and his jacket pockets, desk drawers, and even the cockpit of his helicopter are filled with them. Each item has a story, and he wouldn’t part with any of them for the world.

Price: A crumpled scrap of paper with handwritten coordinates from one of their first missions together. Price scrawled them hastily when their comms went down, and Nik has kept it ever since. He claims it’s a reminder to “always be prepared,” but really, it’s because it was the first time Price trusted him with something classified and since then Nik has always been included no matter what.

Soap: A keychain of a tiny plastic haggis that Soap gifted him as a joke. Soap called it “a wee bit of Scotland for your chopper,” and while Nik pretended to scoff, it’s been dangling from his control panel ever since.

Gaz: A dog-eared football trading card that Gaz handed over during a long, boring stakeout. Gaz had found it in his jacket pocket, his nieces and nephews must have left it in there, and thought it might cheer Nik up too. Nik doesn’t even like football that much, but the gesture stuck with him. It's now laminated and sitting in his wallet. (along with a few photos of the team)

Ghost: A single, slightly dented bullet that Ghost handed him after a mission where Nik’s flying had saved them all from being overrun. “One less I had to use,” Ghost had said gruffly, his tone matter-of-fact. Nik knew it wasn’t meant to be sentimental—just a blunt statement of the truth. But he kept the bullet anyway, tucking it away as a quiet reminder of that moment. To Nik, it wasn’t just about saving ammunition; it was about making sure Ghost never had to fire more bullets than absolutely necessary. Because every bullet fired meant Simon was one step closer to not coming back. And if Simon didn’t come back, Nik knew there’d be one less bright smile on Price’s face—and that was a cost Nik wasn’t willing to let them pay.

Laswell: A coffee mug from Laswell that says Best Pilot in the World in bold letters. She sent it to him as a joke after a mission where he barely avoided crashing into the side of a mountain. It has a small chip on the rim now, but he still uses it religiously.

Farah: A woven bracelet from Farah, made by a child in her village. Nik helped transport supplies during a particularly rough time, and she gave it to him as thanks "I was told to give this to the 'big loud man' as thanks". He keeps it in the pocket of his flight jacket, though he wears it sometimes during long flights. He hopes he never stretches it out

Alex: A small, polished stone Alex picked up in the desert during an op. An unlikely place to find such a stone so it must be special. “For luck,” Alex had said with a grin. Nik had laughed but tucked it into his pocket, and it’s still there to this day.

Rudy: A wooden charm in the shape of a Vaquero’s hat that Rudy carved himself. He gave it to Nik after a particularly tense mission, calling it a “thank you for not dropping us out of the sky.” Nik keeps it on a string near the controls of his helicopter next to the frankly horrifying haggis keychain.

Alejandro: A neatly folded piece of cloth embroidered with the Vaqueros’ insignia. Alejandro handed it to Nik as a sign of gratitude after Nik extracted him and Rudy from a particularly sticky situation. Nik uses it to polish his aviators, though he’s careful not to fray it.

Nik knows the team would absolutely take the mickey if they found out how sentimental he gets over these things, so he keeps them tucked away and out of sight. But during long flights or quiet moments, he’ll pull one out and run his thumb over it, letting the memories ground him. It’s his way of holding onto the people he values most, even when they’re scattered across the world.

[pep-rambles]

Lucifer is a Swiftie headcanons because I kin this man so much I am projecting my other hyperfixations on him

But also I mean c'mon,

Look at him

yes there is RadioApple in this

-It probably started from Charlie. When she was in high school (post emo phase obviously) she may have enjoyed Taylor Swift (maybe Fearless got her through her senior year because I can't stop projecting) Lucifer started listening to try and have something to bond with his daughter about. But about the time Charlie kind of lost interest is about the time Lucifer doubled down on his obsession.

-He has been to basically almost every Eras concert, usually in really good seats because many a swiftie has offered to sell their soul for tickets. He said keep your soul just let him tag along.

-He is definitely an Evermore stan mostly because of relating too hard to the divorce narrative of it.

-Speaking of, Charlie has threatened to lock him out of his Spotify after catching him on the floor crying to “Champaign Problems” on repeat too many times. She never would but most definitely tried to ban him from listening to it for a month.

-She then caught him crying to “You’re Loosing Me”

-Angel Dust is most definitely  Beyhive (killer bee probably) and though initially joking that they are rivals the two men bond over their love for the two queens of pop, recommending songs and videos to each other.

-Angel is a Reputation Stan though 

-After one of Lucifer’s many tiffs with Alastor,  Charlie is expressing her frustration asking her dad why can’t they just get along and Lucifer explains that he doesn’t trust Alastor because “I think his ever-present grin is a little troubling” and is a little upset when she doesn’t get it 

-One day, Luci is sitting in the Lobby doing his work while listening to Taylor on shuffle. He’s casually minding his own business jamming out to one of her poppier love songs and Alastor wanders in commenting on the “Obnoxious trite little diddy” Lucifer doesn't even hesitate to take the bait

L: HOW DARE YOU! SHE IS A TALENTED GODDESS!! A DOWNRIGHT MUSICAL CHAMELEON! You are such a snob Alastor! Good music didn't stop getting made after your tiny little lifetime.

A: I never said it did but it's certainly not this frivolous noise!

L: Oh, you uninformed uncultured cur! She is a fucking poet!

He then proceeds to play examples for Alastor of her most creative and heart wrenching lyrics (he absolutely makes Al sit through all 10 minutes and 13 seconds of ATW) 

After all that though Lucifer will never get Alastor to admit that he finds T.S. musically talented (or that Lucifer did in fact catch Al tapping his foot a couple times)

        -Alastor does come to Lucifer, after a bit of research, admitting that though he does not find her music enjoyable, he respects her business cunning. Luci figures that's good enough. For now. 

-because I bet my non-existent Eras tour tickets that Lilith was a hater. I’ll leave it at that.

-OP works at Barnes & Noble and let me tell you there are about 80 different Taylor Swift magazines that even my swiftie ass thinks is excessive but Lucifer has every single one

-including the Taylor Swift paper dolls magazine (yes this is a real thing). He probably gets a few because he convinces Charlie to use them as a team building activity.

-He has at least 3 copies of each of the covers for the 2023 TIME Person of the Year magazine. 

-Also all cardigans. On a casual day he definitely lounges in them and has a set rotation of when to wear each one (and I am totally not gonna draw that nope)

-Well, it seems Lucifer is no longer crying to the depressing break-up songs on repeat but now he seems to be angrily listening to “Gorgeous” on repeat. Charlie asks him about it and he goes full denial mode “No no Charlie I'm not thinking of anyone specific, I've just been really into this song lately.” Everyone else in the hotel, besides Alastor, has already figured out what's going on

Alastor: If I have to hear that obnoxious noise one more time I will reduce that tiny maniac’s room to rubble as well as the abode of whatever sad sack is making him play it.

Angel: *knowing smirk* I'm gonna hold ya to that one, Antlers. 

-Al may very well hear it one more time if Lucifer uses it as his confession song (I don't fully commit to this headcanon, I just think it's funny) 

-Anyway boy’s probably in his Reputation stan Era b/c LWYMMD is like his long overdue big F-YOU to Heaven song 

btw this is NOT gonna end at these headcanons I am running with this idea like scissors.

@nunalastor

@julsiemagne

@nose-nippin-fun (I know you're not a swiftie but we talked about this so idk if you care I can un-tag you if you want)

[greensun]

THE BIG QSMPSTUCK LOREDUMP AKA: I finally get to do all the lorebabble I wanted to do.

EDIT (11/1/2023): THIS VERSION IS NOW OUT OF DATE AND DOES NOT INCLUDE THE PEOPLE IN THE ICE CUBES. I AM CURRENTLY REWORKING PARTS OF THIS BUT MOST SHOULD STAY THE SAME FOR THE NEW POSTS SANS BAGHERA, KAMETO, AND DANTDM'S CLASSPECTS! LOOK FORWARD TO UPDATED POSTS IN THE FUTURE.

SOME NOTES: 1. I have a very specific version of qsmpstuck going on with my art I make that I made with a group of friends (thanks Slimercord!) 2. There are other people who made other classpects and takes on QSMP characters that are more character based, mine is not that case, it looks at how QSMP as a whole would work as a full sburb session, and balancing how many people would be on each aspect or class to carry that motif of Homestuck's balancing/equal duality theme. This means I am looking at and using Classpects as a narrative & plot device, not necessarily a personality test like how someone would classpect a real person (This is how the Extended Zodiac works, and why I choose to ignore it for character classpecting. It works great for classpecting real life people though, so by all means you can use the EZ for you and your friends!). 3. AND WITH THAT! It means two people per aspect and and class, with the exception of space and time having three people, and knights and heirs having three people. 4. FAIR WARNING: IF YOU HAVE NEVER READ HOMESTUCK, THERE IS LOTS OF DEATH IN IT, WITH LOTS OF RESURRECTIONS. I WILL BE DISCUSSING DEATH IN A VERY JOKING MANNER HERE! 5. For posterity in case things change in the future: This post was made August 2nd 2023, after the French were added, and right before the Election arc finished. I'm sure if I came back to this after QSMP is over my classpecting would be different. (Updated August 20, 2023)

I'll add this again at the bottom but if you want more of my notes and thought processes or just more qsmpstuck in general here's the link to my tag for all qsmpstuck on this blog, and here's the link to all qsmpstuck on my regular mcyt blog. (my regular blog includes other people's qsmpstuck takes & reblogs however! But every classpect analysis I reblogged in there w/ an anonymous ask sent to the OP was me on anon lol)

HERE WE GO! The big ol google doc sheet I had to make for this. Every note on that godtier order list is how we decided the character would godtier, and we still aren't even technically done! I have so much information built up for this AU I am not sure I could include all of it in this post.

CLASSPECTS

Anyway, in terms of classpects, the way we went about deciding was 1. Finding symbolic meanings we felt fit the characters best 2. If the classpect was funny and had a fun double entendre to the character 3. If we really struggled, we went and picked up Dahni Witch of Light's classpect analyses and found which class fit a character best within an aspect we had a vague idea of. I find Dahni's analyses to be the best at classpecting non-homestuck characters with, because they give enough leeway in interpretation and are somewhat broad, while still applying as a fictional character's story arc, rather than solely a personality test. We also basically ignored most classpect's assigned "role" concept thingy, they were too nebulous in meaning to help much, with the only ones we kept being Sylphs are the passive creation class with Maids as the active creation class, and then Bards are passive destruction, Princes are active destruction.

AND NOW BACK TO THE CUBES YOU CARE ABOUT: As stated before, we did lay it out so we (mostly) only had two per aspect and class, to get that true fan session balancing spirit. Space/time and knight/heir are the only ones with three members. Here's how the outfits look!

My favorites here & their reasonings are: - Etoiles: Sylph of Blood - We all agreed him getting a classpect that is at least somewhat silly would be fitting, but all immediately came to the conclusion that he would hands down be a blood player. From his love of fighting, and the way he goes about befriending everyone he meets to help them, he's just so blood player. To balance out our initial silly classpecting idea, we made him a Sylph! It fits, like, really well! He creates friendship, he helps people, like. What more could you want from a classpect for him. - Mariana: Maid of Doom - I sent these two asks to this other person about this and liked their reasonings lol. - Spreen: Prince of Breath - Look I'm a Spreengirl I think he would play a great active destruction class and he takes away other's freedom (in minecraft). He kills people. He's just so Prince to me. It's really funny. - BBH: Knight of Life - Do you know how funny it is to take a guy who's whole thing is that he's like entirely black and red themed and put him in the burlap sack outfit. Also Knight & Space player frog breeding combo. He's working with Foolish on those frogs. - Foolish: Page of Space - This guy is the ultimate builder of all time ever. He was hands down the easiest to look at and go Oh he is THE space player here. - Fit: Prince of Space - Y'know 2b2t and hacked clients and griefing people? Prince of Space. Plus since he's a space player, soooo - Philza: Knight of Rage - Another great Space & Knight combo. This guy is such a hater on QSMP (positive) he doubts easily distrusts whenever necessary. Such a rage player. - Missa: Bard of Time - Missa is really failgirl I know quite a few people haven't like... watched much of his MC stuff. However you should check out when he had to be placed in a box to fish by himself so he wouldn't die a third time in Minecraft Extremo. He's a perfect Bard, and then he does music. Great set up for a Time player. Wouldn't want it any other way. - Antoine: Seer of Void - truly. Truly. A guy I looked at for two minutes and immediately knew what classpect he needed. That scene where he just like lightly questioned Cellbit after he escaped the federation and it made Cellbit so nervous he started just saying things that made him look way more nervous than necessary? Core Antoine moment for me. The fact he has a basement filled with so much writing on every candidate? The fact he hides his true face so much? We don't even know what's going on there? Void Player. Seer. So fitting it's beautiful to me. - Felps: Maid of Breath - Look, breath is THE aspect of freedom and doing what you want at your own pace. I think I would be committing a cardinal sin if I DIDN'T make Felps a breath player. - Tazercraft: Witch of Doom & Page of Time - They get to do a fucked up glitch timeloop. With these two classpects they can literally do whatever they want forever. Witch of Doom is a classpect that you give to a character if you know they can rip everything to shreds, have fun doing it, but wouldn't (usually) use it to actively hurt people out of true malice (for no reason) (a witch can DEFINITELY respond negatively if push comes to shove). Page of Time is so funny as a classpect also. Just like... Look up what the Page godtier outfit looks like. You'll see what I mean... And why Pac is a page. - Rubius: Waste of Breath - This classpect sounds really mean, sorry. I promise I like Rubius. He's supposed to be a stand in for what the Hussie author insert was in Homestuck, opposing Doc Scratch and fighting him. Hussie was a Waste of Space, I wanted to keep the pun with waste here. Breath worked the best. The federation has a Lord of Blood ability to counter him. Neither of these two count for the main classpect total.

One day I might post a copy of the google sheet and link it for more in-depth reasonings for every character, but like... almost everyone had reasonings like this where we spent waaay too long analyzing everyone LMAO. This is getting long as is, so I'll cut off classpecting here.

DREAMING MOONS

I am about to say something that will make people either really mad or really happy. There is no canon true definition of what assigns you a dreaming moon in Homestuck's text. The only thing we can glean from canon about which moon you get is that Prospit humans make their bed in the morning, and Derse humans don't. Needless to say, this doesn't help when you want to individually give each person a dreaming moon, but it IS great news for me: it makes assigning dreaming moons based on dividing the cast in half really, really easy. That is how it worked for the troll session, it was cut in half with teams, and then assigned based on red team vs blue team. So that is what I did here. All of the English speakers were given Prospit, and all of the Hispanic side were given Derse. This has lore relevance. We'll get back to it in a moment.

Also for note, the Federation is Prospit, with Dersite carapacians being a more nebulous identity against the Federation. Hispanic side was given Derse because they just seem more like Derse guys. Plus the whole Time on Derse/Space on Prospit theme going on in original HS canon is something I kinda wanted to go along with.

Quackity was given dual dreamer, with one of his dreamselves being ElQuackity, hence why he isn't listed. To balance this, we had to make another dual dreamer, and figured handing it to Kameto, who basically is permanently lost in the void, would be a good balance.

The French and Brazilian sessions were assigned using the "well this character would make sense here" method.

Server/Client Orders & Session Chains

If anyone needs a brief refresher, a client is the person you get into a sburb session, and a server is the person gets you into the session. Everyone is a client and a server to someone different. (tl;dr John was Rose's client, Rose was John's Server.) THAT BEING SAID! It means the loop for sessions close once you're all connected to both a client and a server. There are three separate sessions here, and one of them is a mobius double reacharound.

For clarity, the arrows mean: Client <- Server

The Original session, the mobius double reacharound, is the Spanish-English session. The order is

Quackity <- Mariana <- Spreen <- Roier <- Missa <- Vegetta <- Maxo <- Luzu (<- BBH)

BBH <- Foolish <- Slimecicle <- Jaiden <- DanTDM <- Fit <- Philza <- Wilbur (<- Quackity)

Because of the nature of a Mobius Double Reacharound, it means BBH and Quackity enter the session first, by technicality. The first person in a session is also the person who does the ectobiology. Unlike the troll session which only had Karkat as the ectobiologist, if Q!Quackity were the sole ectobiologist, no clones would be made and everyone would be stuck in a paradox, so I think it's funnier if BBH and Q had to work together on Ectobiology. I find their dynamic hilarious. Anyway, Luzu and Wilbur had to be the last in their respective chains, because no one else would be able to enter.

The next chain is the Brazilian closed Session, which is

Forever <- Mike <- Pac <- Felps <- Cellbit (<- Forever)

As previously mentioned, Pac e Mike (uou uou) have very good classpects to make up for the fact they have no space player. I'll come back to this.

The final chain is the French closed session. It goes

Baghera <- Antoine <- Etoiles <- AyPierre <- Kameto (<- Baghera)

They have balanced moons! They have a space player! They have a seer even! Both light and void! However, in missing a time player, they are forever doomed to fail the session.

LANDS OF PLANETS AND PARTNERS

Now I can finally explain actual lore. My apologies for making you read about 1000 words before this.

The Hispanic-English session is glitched. There is not a planet for each person. They have to share planets with a person from the opposite dreaming moon, generating lands that are a combination of two different aspects entirely. The planetary pairings for this prime session are the same pairings used for the initial egg pairings.

I really love designing lands for Sburb AUs it's my favorite thing in the world. The first one is the Land of Acid and Alcohol, Slimecicle (Heir of Heart) and Mariana's (Maid of Doom) land. Its oceans are acid and gasoline, and then covered in bottles that are a Russian roulette of alcoholic beverages, and then Molotov cocktails! The second is the Land of Steam and Dreams, Roier (Witch of Blood) and Jaiden's (Seer of Hope) land. It's filled with buildings built in an industrial revolution style architecture, playing on how people could believe in social mobility and "making it" in that time period, while also being reliant on heavy metallic machinery! I have a lot of fun conceptualizing lands.

The session's glitches don't stop at the planetary pairings on their own however, and it continues when Luzu attempts to enter the session. The session glitches from him being BBH's client, where it refuses to match pairings if they're connected directly, as the game would be unable to generate the gates above each player's house, it would simply loop back to connecting with the same Land. Luzu ends up being paired onto Quackity's land because of this, because the Game still detects him as having a dreamself on the opposite moon, even if he technically has both.

This causes BBH and Wilbur's land to glitch, and they end up paired together (as a bit of a nod back to how BBH and Wilbur were initially intended to be paired, before admins just made a new egg for Wilbur). We'll get back to this in a bit.

Some other lands from the AH session I enjoy are - The Land of Lush Forests and Iridescent Lakes, also known as LOLFAIL, BBH and Wilbur's land, which is a double Life player land, so the oceans are filled with gemstones and the land is covered in the most dense forest imaginable. It has the most difficult underlings spawn on it compared to any other land in the Anglo-Hispanic session. - The Land of Frogs and Typhoons, Spreen and Fit's land, which every space player is guaranteed frogs as part of their land, combined with Spreen being a breath player, it is a constant hurricane with frogs in it. They do not work on trying to calm the storm. They just start killing the frogs. There are so many frogs. The frogs are constantly flying at anyone who enters the land. Fit's slogan is FTF. Thank you to crow qsmp-yaoi for saying this idea because it truly brings me to tears every time I think about them being hit by those frogs flying at Mach 10. - The Land of Synapses and Static, Maxo and DanTDM's land. It's a darkened land, caused by Maxo's void, and then covered in a blanket of constant fog so thick a lighthouse can barely cut through it. The land also has mimicking noises to make familiar sounds to any player that steps on it, caused by Dan's Mind. It is an overbearingly lonely land. One where you understand what it truly feels like to be alone. One where you can lose someone as soon as you take your eyes off of them. Maxo last saw Dan on this land. No one else has seen him since.

I'm going to stop myself here, but I might come back and draw some more Land illustrations for these, haha.

Denizeggs

With the planetary partners, you might have seen this coming. Each planet in the combined session is missing a Denizen. Instead, what each player finds at the heart of the land is a little egg they need to help raise. They all find eggs at different points, however. Some people find their egg before they godtier, some find them afterward.

All of the eggs correspond to the land of their respective parents, however Luzu joins into the session too late to ever meet Tilin, second to last of the chain, she's already dead by that point.

And then the final major glitch in starting this session, when Wilbur joins as the final member of the chain, and enters, the only land open is BBH's land. Due to the nature of Sburb already knowing how things would end, it was always going to be this way, and there was no other option on who's planet he would join. The game glitches again, and detecting a second Prospit player, spawns in a new Denizen: Tallulah.

The eggs generally follow how they were in QSMP proper. Some of them die early. Some of them don't. Juanaflippa is as tragic as she is in canon. Two dads who are just bad at raising a child and it would have never worked out. Slime still kills Tilin by accident. Spreen doesn't care about Ramon, ditched him etc you know how it goes. The eggs are partially a planet quest too, so it's best if the eggs do live here.

Also in the glitches with this, there's a lack of consorts on any of the combined planets. There are a few, but not really as common as canon proper would have.

BRAZIL! 🇧🇷

The Brazil Session is a closed session between the five Brazilians. One of the requirements to complete Sburb is that you need a Space player (required to have forge in order to complete the final genesis frog & launch it into creating a new universe) and a Time player (required to keep the session in the proper timeline). The Brazilians have a time player (Pac), so they're halfway there!

There's some hiccups along the way. Mostly just Cellbit accidentally killing Felps and having to sprite him so Mike could make him a robot body to live in, but same old same old etc. Pac and Mike also kill each other by accident, but some other stuff happens there.

They still don't have the main aspect to actually continue the session, realize this, and also have a guy with one of the most conceptually powerful classpects to exist in terms of being able to glitch a game and save everyone. They manage to contact the primary session, reaching out to two grieving parents who are desperate to do anything to revive their daughter, one of whom is also a very powerful Doom player.

Brazilian Lands (brief edition)! - Land of Vultures and Culture, Forever's land, is a Hope land based around having Forever work to help save consorts who are hiding beneath intense structures and live in very isolate communities from each other. There's also massive megafauna in the skies that are always trying to kill them. - Land of Electronics and Experiments, Mike's land, is a pretty typical doom land, based around Chume labs, and has a constant lightning storm overhead - Land of Dancefloors and Dollhouses, Pac's land, is a combination of a land quest he has to get through, and a typical time land. All time lands have a clockwork or a music theme, I think him having a hot pink land that's massive amounts of dollhouse rooms attached to each other he has to make it through is just a fun concept. - Land of Cloud and Sky, Felps's world, is just a land with everything high in the sky. His whole quest is about him harnessing his ability to go with the flow to connect his consorts together. This is hard when he's sprited himself after dying upon entering due to Cellbit fucking up and accidentally killing him, and living in a robot body built by Mike. Aradia style. - Land of Searchlight and Bone, Cellbit's world, is a giant panopticon style prison. With so many bones, both decorating the prison, and filling the prison cells. His final moment is when he gets to the office of the panopticon, and it is his quest bed. He has a whole ordeal over it.

RICARLYSON! So these guys have regular consorts and Denizens, Richarlyson spawns in the heart of Skaia, and gives the quest for the other five guys to raise him.

Pac (Page of Time) has the ability to manipulate time as he wants once he realizes his abilities. Mike (Witch of Doom) can rip a hole in the universe so big it saves all of the players and sets them smack in the middle of another session, especially a previously contacted session with the connection being a Maid of Doom. With a time player land as well, they get a scratch construct on the Land of Dancefloors and Dollhouses, setting up their ability to scratch their session and set loose a whole new universe where theirs once stood.

French

The French session has probably the most normal planets of everything going on here, what really starts their journey going awry is that they have no time player.

Antoine, being a Seer of Void, can see something is going wrong. He makes contact with people outside of their session in an attempt to restore things to balance. He goes off into the veil and contacts the horrorterrors, and sets up a connection between two Doom players who seem they both desperately need it.

While he's doing that, the rest of the French proceed to have the most normal Sburb session out of anyone. Etoiles is having a great time on his planet. Aypierre gets a genesis tadpole. Kameto has two backup lives.

French Planets (Brief Edition) - Land of Apples and Airplanes, Baghera's land! It's probably the nicest land of anyone's. There are many jokes about how she doesn't get why everyone keeps complaining about their lands being horrible until she reaches theirs. - Land of Sham and Soil, Antoine's land, it's a dark land with tall dirt towers that make it impossible to see where you step. You'd need to be someone who could find where you're going in the pitch dark to even survive here. - Land of Bonds and Breakouts, Etoiles's land, is a land of a giant maze dungeon labyrinth. It's a nightmare for everyone but him. He loves it. - Land of Bogs and Frogs, AyPierre's land, is a land with frogs in a very thick swamp. I'll be honest i Just need to cook on this one some more. - Land of Hidden Leaves and War, Kameto's land, is a Naruto joke.

POMME! Is like Richas she's in the middle of Skaia. An easter egg if you will.

The French session is brought into the primary session when Antoine manages to contact with everyone else fully, rather than quietly watch from the outside. Etoiles and Baghera lose their original selves, and are their dreamselves when the universes collide in, and were unable to godtier, due to not knowing about the quest slabs.

GODTIERING! & the rest of the chronological story

THIS is the order of the godtiers from the beginning of the Spanish-English session. Anyone in the other sessions who godtier before their universe collide event has a red numeral to keep them distinct. I feel pretty strongly almost everyone would godtier here, they're all characters based on gamers. Sburb au works exceptionally well when you know everyone's gaming style.

Also, yeah I have notes listed on each godtier order for how each person dies. Like it's that detailed atp.

Spreen has the highest kill count out of everyone on purpose. I think he'd be down to cut his friends down knowing they'd be revived immortal afterward. As well as, the federation is Prospit in this scenario, they want everyone to godtier. I think him playing to what they want out of him feels his style. Anyway, he sprites his own dreamself due to ElQuackity messing with timeloops. To make his living player self trust him, Spreensprite convinces him to godtier Roier first. It is himself he's talking to, after all. Roier becomes the first godtier in any universe, and not out of his own volition. After seeing it really did work with Roier, Spreen godtiers himself. He gets li'l bear ears ala Jade getting doggy ears with her dreamself sprited, he threw in a Rubius cubito to his kernelsprite first. I like the bear ears I'm biased .3. q!Spreen being really fun in a Sburb concept is why I got hooked on this au after all.

After the first lore is repeated, BBH godtiers himself by decapitating himself with a sendificator to fuck with Foolish. He's kinda bitter about getting beige clothes. He befriends the midnight crew at least. This is before he has Dapper. He finds out about godtiering from Roier by accident and then is like. Oh I have the BEST idea.

Vegetta is killed by Spreen by request, wanting to be stronger to protect Leo, and then Spreen godtiers Missa in order to use his time powers on Derse to throw his dreamself at the kernelsprite, locking the time loop. Anyway, Missa is essentially locked in a tower on Derse's moon after this, now permanently in his Dreamself's body, who hadn't awoken prior. Fit realizes people are walking around in weird clothes, hears about it vaguely from BBH, sends a text to Spreen who'd been ghosting him, and goes like. Hey man. Wanna kill me? And gets his first reply in months.

Phil is attacked by an overpowered monster and almost dies, and Missa manages to get the message to Fit that this is happening through time shenanigans, and Fit manages to get him to his questbed before he fully dies and loses his dreamself. Phil is not happy about this and could not be angrier. He doesn't blame Fit though it's like a self anger thing.

THE BRAZILIAN CASCADE HAPPENS! PEOPLE DIE. By which I mean Slimecicle and Mariana work together to try to help the Brazilians into the session in a bid at saving Juanaflippa, hoping one of them have the ability to revive her. Slimecicle is murdered in the crypts of Prospit by Quackity in a duel, where he cuts off Quackity's arm in exchange for Quackity cutting down his life. Truly one of those luck moments where Charlie dies on his questslab. Mariana is murdered at the same time by Spreen, who is now fully working under orders from the Federation.

Pre-cascade, Pac and Mike both godtier, because they stumble into a stable timeloop, by Mike accidentally glitching Pac's questslab into throwing it at him and killing him. He godtiers with this. Now, as a fully godtiered page of time, they make it to Mike's questbed, and godtier!Mike nudges Pac's slab at Past!Mike to pick up and throw when fucking around with powers.

Felps godtiers in the cascade along with Mariana and Slimecicle, they leave behind Derse and its moon, and they both get destroyed. Where his body sleeping on the quest slab godtiers. Aradia style. Except... as a Maid of Breath, his robot sprite body doesn't explode. He just sort of... exists in both. When one falls asleep the other wakes up. The rest of the Brazilian session just assumes the Cascade fucked with his robot body's energy sources. He kind of just figures each side is a weird dream he keeps having.

Cellbit is staunchly anti-godtier, while Forever wants someone he trusts to godtier him. Cellbit refuses to godtier Forever, and causes a major fight between them. Then Spreen murders Cellbit into his godtier under orders from the Federation, which is preceded by a long Scooby-doo-esque chase, where BBH sees them both, and decides to follow. BBH is a fully godtiered Knight of Life here, he has resurrection powers for other players, and Spreen is functionally immortal as well. BBH 100% catches up to him after he kills Cellbit, and proceeds to put Spreen in a torment nexus of dying and undeath. Thus ends the Killing Spree(n).

AND THEN THE FRENCH CASCADE HAPPENS! The final session connects, and Baghera sacrifices herself to make it happen. After they make it in, they learn about Quest slabs, and there's a whole thing with Etoiles dramatically getting her to her questslab before she fully dies. Etoiles then proceeds to go kill himself on the questslab immediately after. Felps is also hanging out with the French, they found him hanging out in the void and take him with them. They lose Kameto in the void however, nobody's really sure where he went.

Pre-French Cascade, Antoine is the only French player to godtier, and no one will explain how it happened. It seems like no one really knows, but Etoiles keeps saying more fantastical descriptions every time someone asks. He's never taken his seer hood off of his face.

Back in the order of the godtiers, Forever befriends Baghera, and eventually her and Etoiles and Cellbit help him godtier. It's a whole event. Richas is having a blast.

Bobby dies, and Jaiden decides to godtier in order to get into the Federation's good graces, as well as out of guilt of feeling that if she were stronger and godtiered she could have saved him. Roier godtiers her.

AyPierre is godtiered in a tragic accident with one of his many machines. Etoiles helps pull him to his quest bed. He's a Thief of Space he has fun with it.

Foolish is the second to last person to godtier, and he is godtiered by Pomme by accident. He wanted his godtier to be as cool as possible, and somehow managed to not godtier by this point. It's just very him. He's down with the page pants.

Quackity is the final member to godtier. BBH kills ElQ at one end of the universe with the aid of Maximus. Slimecicle kills the regular QQ in one final duel.

At the end of the universe, the only people left alive and able to contact the rest of the sessions to never godtier are Wilbur and Maxo.

DanTDM disappears on the Land of Synapses and Static, never to be seen again, along with Turnip following soon after.

Luzu finds a glitch and is absorbed by it not long after he enters.

Nobody is really sure if Kameto godtiered or not.

MISCELLANEOUS NOTES

We're currently working on figuring out sprites for everyone, so hey! I might come back and add an update on that, but this post is so long my computer is lagging. I have a gaming laptop. It shouldn't be doing that. Here's some stuff on the sprites we do have + some misc notes.

Cellbit's flashlightkind is like how Kanaya's lipstick works. It's a chainsaw.

Spreen has Spreensprite, BBH has Skeppysprite, Missa has a sprite that is a mysterious skull sprited twice called Skullskullsprite, and Roier has his dog with a spiderman called Dogmansprite, and Jaiden has Arisprite, who's Miku & Ari combined :D (thanks icarus!)

It is 5 am as I finish typing this and queue it. I think I started typing this at 5 pm yesterday. Feel free to comment any thoughts you have or play around in this au! Also feel free to @ me if you do, either on my main mcyt blog (@etoilesbienne), or here!

qsmpstuck tag on my art blog / qsmpstuck tag on my regular mcyt talk blog

[striderl]

Here’s the full version of the swap AU Filming Industry — The B.A.S.S. Mercenaries.

The B.A.S.S. Mercenaries operates beyond the reach of the Alliance. No one knows exactly where the team members hail from, when did they become a team, or what drives their actions. They have a repuration for completing any mission as long as the price is right, though money alone won’t suffice. Payment must be made in rare metal, gun powder, and other valuable commodities. Or else, part of the client’s body will be removed, heads and cores made up a large percentage. 

The B.A.S.S. ’s service range from blackmailing, assassination, security convoy, and sabotage, as an acronym of the team’s name.

Introducing the team members:

Balisong (He/him) - Demolitionist, explosive engineer. Younger brother of Lavalier. As volatile as the materials he works with, known for his quick temper, likely fueled by his addiction to smoking gunpower — a habit he’s never been able to get rid of. Quiet and reserved, only speaks when he’s working or when the conversation touches on a subject he’s pasionate about. Rumors had it that he had been a victim of Glitch Toilet, much like Lumix. Absolutely disapproves Lavalier’s relationship with Monochrome.

Lavalier (She/her) - Assassin, team leader. Older sister of Balisong, girlfriend of Monochrome. Ruthless, efficient, beneath her hardened exterior lies a soft spot reserved exclusively for those she considers family. Slightly jealous of Lumix because she has a dashing fiancé and an adorable boy. Has a substantial bounty on her head due to her act of sabotaging crucial intelligence from both the TV faction and the Skibidis. Rumors circulates that she might have been the original prototype for the current speaker matriach.

Monochrome (He/them) - Former butler. Worked as an interrogator for the TV faction for a few years before join the B.A.S.S. Partner of Lavalier. Unlike Foley, he is a virgin, yet he loves teasing Lavalier with inappropriate jokes. An accident during a sparring match with the TV elite left Monochrome with significant processor damage. Capable of using light ability and teleportation. However, when he teleports, large amount of red smoke will leak from their body for an extended peroid. Has invented a multitude of methods to torture his victims to death using nothing but chains. Has a collection of skulls, Polaroid’s included. Lumix almost pumped his head with lead because of it.

Lumix (She/her) - Gunswoman. Former human, fiancee of Sawmus and biological mother of Polaroid. Faked her death in the Glitch Toilet accident and aidded Lavalier in reassembling Balisong, later stayed in the B.A.S.S. due to her ties with Lavalier, unable to return to the Alliance. Misses Sawmus so much that she sometimes hacks the surveillance camera in the Alliance base, or stalks Sawmus’ team during their missions. Her precision and fierceness with her shotgun is absolutely viscious (Polaroid inherits his sniper genes from her). Doesn’t have any memories of her past as a human, but she finds solace in the fact that someday she would have Polaroid as her son.

Other info: in the swap AU, Sawmus and Polaroid’s storyline remains the same. Except for the part where Polaroid never joins the science department and keeps his position as a special op sniper in Sawmus’ team.