#oops this got a little long

[kj-yikes]

2. Courage

(on ao3 here)

"Aunt Kara! I forgot, I have something to give you!" Esme is a blur as she races to her bedroom, curls streaming behind her. She returns with a piece of paper held in her hand. Kara pulls the girl into her lap as she sits on the floor and arranges the paper in her hands in front of them.

Kara has the absolute pleasure of watching Esme while her moms take a much-needed long weekend away together. ("I can't remember the last time I had sex with my wife," Alex had said when she asked Kara if she could stay with Esme for the weekend. "ALEX! I did not need to know that," Kara exclaimed, her head buried in her hands.) She had plenty of plans laid out for the weekend with her adorable niece, including Disney movie marathons in the blanket fort they had built. Currently, they're waiting for Aunt Lena to arrive from work before diving into Lilo and Stitch with lots of popcorn and chocolate.

"Wow, thanks Esme! Can you tell me about it?" Kara regards the drawing. In the middle of the page, in broad, thick crayon strokes, is obviously Kara, but she's not quite sure what's going on in the rest of the illustration.

Esme grabs Kara's hand with her smaller one. "The word of the week at school was 'courage.' I drew you for it!" Kara smiles and places a kiss on her niece's cheek.

"Aw, that's really sweet of you, bug!" Kara scans the illustration again, trying to piece together the scene, but she's still stumped. She sees herself in the center of the page, a stick figure with blonde hair in a green dress. To the left is a gray blob she's not really sure about, and to the right are three more stick people. "You didn't draw me in my supersuit, though."

"You don't have it yet, silly," Esme states as if it's the most obvious thing in the world. "You're not old enough to be a superhero yet." That's the excuse Alex had been giving to Esme for the past few months when she insisted she was ready to join the ranks of the family business. Apparently, according to Alex, the proper age to join the rest of the superhero family was 35. Kara wasn't even technically that old yet, but it would probably take Esme another couple of years to figure that out.

Kara takes another critical look at the illustration, realization dawning on her. Softly, she asks, "Esme, is that my pod?" Esme nods her head vigorously, curls bobbing.

"Yeah, the day you landed on Earth. And there's Grandma, Grandpa, and Mama!" Kara traces the three stick figures representing Eliza, Jeremiah, and Alex with her fingertips, feeling the waxy crayon strokes and swallowing the lump in her throat she hadn't realized had formed.

"What made you decide to draw this?" Kara manages to choke out. It had only been recently that Kara had shared her past with Esme, leaving certain parts out that were perhaps too heavy for a six-year-old. But Esme understood most of it, maybe better than most young children would.

"You left your home and came to Earth to take care of Kal. It was very brave of you," Esme says matter-of-factly, squirming to spin around in Kara's lap and wrap her arms around Kara's neck.

It always surprises Kara how insightful Esme could be, even though she hasn't been on Earth for that long and has known all of them for even less time. Perhaps it was just the way that Esme was, or perhaps it was because she was always observing every new thing, trying to soak in as much of her new life as possible.

Her heart contracts painfully with the implication of Esme's words. The pain of Kara losing her planet and everything she knew may have faded over time, but it still left scars. Scars, she knew, that Esme shared with her, at a much younger age than even Kara experienced.

Kara brings her hands up to Esme's back, giving her a quick squeeze before letting go. "Do you feel brave that you came to Earth, too?" Kara asks, looking into her niece's warm hazel eyes.

Esme sighs. "I guess. I don't remember much from before." Kara nods, rubbing Esme's back comfortingly.

"That's understandable, honey." Kara softly grabs Esme's chin and lifts it, so Esme is looking right at Kara. "If you ever want to talk about it, I'm here to listen, okay? I understand."

Esme gives her a small, shy half smile, but the moment is interrupted by a knock on the door.

"Aunt Lena!" Esme scrambles from Kara's lap under the blanket fort and runs to the door to let her other beloved aunt in.

Later that night, Esme is asleep on the floor in the blanket fort, cuddled in her favorite blanket with her Lovey clasped tightly in her arms. Meet the Robinsons plays softly in the background, the light from the TV flickering across the girl's face as her eyelids flutter.

Kara is deep in thought, watching her niece take slow, steady breaths in and out. Sometimes, even Kara forgets the trauma the young girl must have gone through in her short life. Leaving her home, losing her family, getting put in a system that wasn't designed to help human children let alone alien ones. Esme wears it well — always enthusiastic and bright and precocious.

But Kara knows better, should know better. She does the same thing: putting up an exterior of cheer and warmth to hide the shadowy depths beneath. Just like Kara, Esme had found a wonderful family, and she knows that Esme knows how much she is loved. For Kara, that still doesn't change the pain of all that she experienced before, and it was likely the same for Esme. Kara knows that Esme has her moms to talk to, but she's also glad that if Esme did have to go through everything she had gone through, that Kara could be there for her, could understand in a way that Alex and Kelly might not be able to.

Kara feels a hand grab hers. "Hey," Lena whispers. "You seem lost in thought."

Kara tears her eyes away from Esme's sleeping form and looks at Lena. Her brows are furrowed, gazing concernedly at Kara as she softly rubs Kara's hand with her thumb.

"Just thinking about Esme, about her past." Kara whispers back with a sigh. She rummages around in the blankets until she unearths the drawing Esme had shown her earlier. "Esme drew this for me. It's the day I landed on Earth."

Lena scoots closer to Kara and wraps an arm around her, placing her chin on Kara's shoulder to look at the drawing. She studies it as she strokes Kara's arm. "You told Esme about that recently, right?" Lena asks.

"Yeah. Parts of it, at least." Kara cuddles into Lena's warm embrace. "It just reminded me of everything Esme's been through, too. That it's important to recognize and leave space for her past, too."

Lena nods. In the months since their reconciliation, Kara and Lena had many late night talks about both of their pasts and the trauma they still brought to daily life. Though Lena hadn't come from a dying planet, she could relate to the loss and isolation at a young age, and they both found that sharing their pasts with each other brought them to a better understanding of each other.

"I know it must have been hard for you, Kara, to come to Earth. You didn't have anyone to look up to who understood what you were going through." Kara's heart squeezes painfully again, thinking about the loneliness she felt when she first arrived in Midvale. No one knew from the outside what she had gone through on Krypton, what she went throughon Earth as she struggled to adjust to new customs and norms. No one who truly understood the loss and the isolation. "But Esme does have that. She has you. And she knows you're there for her."

Kara's lip quivers slightly, a tear rolling down her cheek. She and Lena had been through a lot, too, but after everything, Kara is so relieved and thankful that Lena is able to see her whole self — the good, the bad, and the messy — and still wants to sit beside her.

Kara closes her eyes and exhales. "Ah. Sorry. I didn't mean to bring the mood down during our super awesome aunties' weekend with Esme. She just…surprised me."

Lena places a soft kiss on Kara's cheek, wiping away the tear streak. "Hey, don't apologize. You said it's important to recognize and leave space for Esme's feelings. You deserve the same space, too." Lena wraps her arms around Kara tighter. "I'm here for you."

Kara grabs Lena's hand and squeezes. "Thank you, Lena. I'm glad we both have you."

[shiningxfates]

Being so exposed and vulnerable was not something Alastor was used to. His eyes continued to look towards him but then away, mostly due to not really knowing what to do. Just the initial reactions were enough to make him feel like perhaps hiding this wound for so long wasn't the way to do this. There was no way he knew it could only be healed like this, or that the only one who could heal it was living in the hotel with them now. He really was never going to hear the end of this later.

He took a few deep breathes, just preparing himself as Lucifer did his initial look. He should have known healing this type of injury would be worst than obtaining it. Although it didn't quite sink in just how bad it might be. With Lucifer's comments about how it's deeper and worse than he originally thought, combined with that it would need more than one session to completely heal him. That's not what he wanted. He wanted this to be over with after what he already had to go through.

"You'll have to explain to me later exactly what that angel did to me." Curiosity was more taking over now. Knowledge that he'd like to obtain for any future issues that could occur, not only with himself, but that he could use towards other sinners. "It seems I'm fortunate to have been offered this opportunity." He replied to Lucifer's comment trying to keep something light to the conversation.

His ear tuffs were far more expressionate than himself. Going from a little droop to a perk up at the mention of getting a taste of his blood. That one phrase alone may just help him push through all of this. Lucifer intrigued him, knowing that this very being beyond anyone else here in this damned place. Coupled with the idea that his blood also had healing properties, as did his powers in general, he may just have to be a little bit more involved with the King than pushing too many buttons.

'Brace Yourself.'

Was words he wasn't quite ready for but he'd need to be. He took in another sharp breath, watching the glow appear. It was in that instant his body felt like it was on fire. His head flew back as his claws instantly gripped into the sheets below him. The pained cry that left his lips was not something most sinners would ever hear from the Radio Demon, coupled him losing a grip over himself. His antlers grew a little bigger in response, energy flaring with a mix of green and shadows. He gave a few quick pants before another cry was ripped from him. His eyes were tightly shut, feet up on his toes as he tried desperately to reel himself in. Control was something Alastor also prided himself in. This was one of those times he was losing the battle.

The next moment another sound tried to leave him, his teeth came down to bite his bottom lip, leaving it a muffled mess. At this moment, he couldn't tell anyone how long Lucifer had be doing what was doing. Seconds felt like minutes, and minutes felt like hours. All he knew was the pain was constant, like his actual soul was being ripped from his body while his flesh was being burned at the same time. Even then, he couldn't describe it properly. He could feel his body start to give out of him, the antlers returning to normal size and just not having the energy to fight it anymore. His breathing becoming more staggered, feeling like he could slip from consciousness at any moment.

It's inappropriate to think that the damn deer looked weirdly cute once the fluff of his chest was exposed. Thankfully, Lucifer's attention was taken away from that to gaze at the gash that stood out and he pressed his lips into a thin line. Alastor was incredibly lucky that he wasn't cleaved in two and that he hadn't died from a wound that size. The First Man may have been a narcissistic idiot, but his strength was greater than an Overlords, and could probably rival some of those in the Ars Goetia.

Lucifer stepped up on the side of the bed the gash was in and he placed a careful hand against the wound, extending his senses to feel out how bad the damage was. It took a few seconds but the fallen angel almost hissed at the extent of it. The angelic energy was there, slowly spreading and eating away at Alastor's flesh, rotting it. He wasn't going to be able to heal it all at once, the Overlord's body would not handle the strain well. If he split it into two sessions, it would be doable. It'd give the deer time to recover a bit but that would mean that Lucifer would need to feed him some of his blood. An unpleasant thought, that was.

          "This is going to hurt worse than you getting the wound," Lucifer informed Alastor with a slight grimace before placing his other hand against the wound as well. "The infection's a lot deeper than I had anticipated so it's a really good thing that we're doing this now or your chances wouldn't be good at all if it had been later."

He paused for a moment, concentrating as he looked at Alastor but not really, it was more his soul. Hm... It didn't surprise him to see how large red covered the Overlord's soul. Alastor was an incredibly prideful bastard. Green was the second largest stain on his soul, which was surprising... Okay. Lucifer could work with Pride and Greed as the primary and secondary sins, it looked like Gluttony may be third.

          "This is going to have to be divided into two sessions, your body will need the rest. Trying to heal you all at once has a high chance of killing you. I'll give you some of my blood to help keep the angelic energy from trying to spread again," He said as he fixed Alastor with a stern look, almost daring him to argue, before looking down at the wound again. "Brace yourself."

As soon as he'd said that, golden light glowed beneath his palms and the remnants of Adam's angelic energy flared up from within the wound in response. Immediately Lucifer felt the way the energy tried to resist, tried to bury itself deeper into the damned flesh it was slowly corroding away. Red eyes narrowed as he worked to pull and siphon it out, convert it into his own energy while also healing what had been damaged. It was better that he worked his way out with this wound, deal with the deeper parts and then the gash itself in the next session.

[hinamie]

i don't normally participate in these redraw challenges but it's megumi so i'll make an exception

[ghost-bxrd]

Prompt:

Actor Au!

Where Batman and Co. are the most popular TV series and they’re currently filming Jason’s death.

Only Bruce goes so deep into acting he breaks down for real upon the part where he arrives at the warehouse and digs through the rubble for his child.

[mingwrites]

Yunho + Watch ⌚ because everytime I see watches I think of how incredibly pretty it'd look on Yunho's big slender hands 😔

babe your thots are valid and i’m here to validate them…

~

you had always noticed your boss’s hands. they were incredibly sexy on their own, not to mention the expensive rings and watches he adorned them with-symbols of his power and wealth. sometimes you would sit at your desk and think about his hands-the way they were so big and capable, the speed with which they moved when he typed, how they would be able to fill you up so easily…

no more fantasizing, not now that you were getting the real thing. mr. jeong had you sat upon his desk, your legs forced far apart as two of his long, slender fingers disappeared within your core. he looked focused, like he was just doing his job, making you unravel to the point of ecstasy in his less-than-humble office. “dirty girl,” his low voice resonated just above a whisper. “i bet this is what you think about all day at your desk, hm?” just then, his fingertips pressed against your sweet spot just right, and the coil inside you snapped.

your pussy spasmed and throbbed as you came hard before your boss. he watched your expression, moans harmonizing with yours as he continued thrusting his fingers into all the right spots. then something caused him to look down, and when you saw the look of surprise, you knew what had happened. the man chuckled, looking back at your face. “do you always squirt or are my fingers just that good?”

as your orgasm began to subside, he removed his fingers and quickly sucked them clean before he let out a disappointed groan. “shit, baby, you ruined my new watch.” you looked at the flashy object, probably worth thousands, and covered your mouth, mortified. it was dripping with your pleasure, thickly coated in the sticky substance along with most of the man’s arm. “don’t worry, doll, this can be fixed,” he assured you. “but i never knew you’d be such a dirty, messy little slut.”

[courfee]

prompt #46 "Sirius is showing Regulus’ baby pictures to James and Reg is MORTIFIED" for the @marauderswithpalestineproject !! 🍉

thank you @kat-m-toast for the donation (and the prompt, which was just SO up my alley, i loved it) and also thanks to everyone else who donated and participted! 💕

and as a bonus a little closer look at those baby pictures :)

[brightyistired]

Starring Charles Leclerc for the 5th time

I was meant to finish this for halloween but I had exams lmao, RIP the colours tho idk why it looks so different on procreate.

[seoulmatez]

choso slowly falling in love with his little brother yuji’s girlfriend ❤︎ he tries to ignore you when you first start coming around the house — locking himself away in his room and attempting to avoid you all together. but you’re always present, smooshed against yuji’s side when choso braves the journey to the kitchen, greeting him politely on the rare occasion that you do cross paths. he’s not sure what reels him in first, your laugh or your smile or something else — but before he knows it, he’s fallen.

and he feels like a piece of shit for being attracted to you. you aren’t just some girl, you’re yuji’s girl. he cares about his little brother more than anything in the world but. . . he can’t help the way he feels about you. he can’t help but let his mind wander, entertaining thoughts of what things would be like if he could call you his.

he considers the fantasy often, more often than he’s proud of, during the months you’re together with yuji. and with every passing day, he loses the battle of temptation. the guilt gnawing at him begins to fade, traded for nagging feelings of lust. he stops hiding away, preferring to drink in every glimpse of you that he can.

he isn’t quite sure when or how it happens, why you’re at the house without yuji, but choso welcomes the sight of your lonesome figure on the living room couch. you don’t seem to mind his presence either, not making a move to widen the gap when he takes a seat beside you. it’s quiet, but sometimes words aren’t necessary, not when you share curious, lingering touches instead.

choso has to say, he’s surprised when you let him tip your chin up without protest, surprised that you don’t pull away when his lips brush yours, surprised that you might just feel the same.

and he supposed he has his answer when only a moment later, you’re beneath him is his bed, nails scratching at the expanse of his back and musical moans filling the air. you’re everything he imagined you’d be and now that he’s gotten a taste, choso can’t be sure that he’ll be able to give you up.

all he can do now is hope that yuji will forgive him.

[biblically-accurate-dca]

super disorganized sketch page because i do what i want

[feroluce]

While he doesn't quite confirm it in canon (he could technically still just be kidding about BOTH parts and his right eye is fine), I love the thought that Boothill actually did lose his right eye based on his "Knowledge" voiceline.

Because after this line, I actually did go back to rewatch his trailer, and yeah. Even when Boothill is literally flipped upside-down, his bangs stay in place. We never see the right side of his face to confirm it one way or the other.

EDIT: So it turns out you CAN see juuuust enough of his right eye under his hair in-game to confirm it's there and looks the same as his left. I am going to promptly file this under canon things I choose to ignore because hc is more fun, but wanted to add this in because I don't like spreading misinformation. Thank @ultigoblin for the info everyone!

And obviously being a Galaxy Ranger comes with a lot of opportunities to lose body parts. Especially given the people he's after, I would not be surprised at all to find out Boothill lost it in some bounty hunting gone wrong haha

But my personal favorite thought is that he lost it during the rebellion on Aeragan-Epharshel.

Boothill brushes aside what happened to his home, he'll openly say it's gone now but after that he just kinda moves on. He doesn't say what happened to it, and I'm sure he would gloss over the loss of his body and his eye the same way. And combined with how he always talks about himself as a Galaxy Ranger, always about the here and now, I feel like it's kinda easy to forget sometimes that oh, right.

This guy fought in warfare.

His character stories don't go into detail either, but it IS described as guerilla warfare. And it makes it clear there was a large technology gap between the IPC and Aeragan-Epharshel. It's possible they didn't have the means for things like cybernetic prosthetics- or if they did, it would have become harder to implement them during a rebellion, with the IPC breathing down their necks.

And I feel like in order to have a cybernetic prosthetic put in, the wound probably has to be healed a certain way. Like it takes medical intervention. There's a whole plan and procedure for it. And especially if Aeragan-Epharshel didn't have that technology in the first place, Boothill wouldn't have had the chance to heal it that way. Like it healed fine, just not in a way that allowed a cybernetic replacement.

So when one of the IPC shot out his right eye (with a "warning shot" of all things), it was pretty much already a given that he was going to be blind on that side from then on.

When he forced the procedure to change his body, there was nothing they could do for that empty right socket. To this day, it's still sealed over with a patch...probably with something rude drawn on it smzjmsmsks

And even though Hoyo is always giving really cool unrealistic designs for eyes, I do like to think his left eye is a cybernetic- that's what the crosshair is there for. It's to make sure Boothill's aim stays consistent and as good as it is when he's in top shape, even through pain or hindered vision. Like it's an aide, yes, but the skill is all his from years of hard work.

But even with all the replacements, all of the upgrades.

Behind that crosshair, he made sure to keep the natural color of his own eyes.

[coffeesleep-ooc]

Essay on heartbreak points

Just thinking of LBH pining over SQQ along the novel before he finally gets the man

Pre-abyss LBH wants SQQ, but the thing i see in him is not just wanting him, carnally sexually or otherwise, he wants SQQ’s attention and approval bc he admires him, its as simple as that. Og goods already had his admiration just bc he was a great cultivator, he was elegant and beautiful and worked hard af, it was like…if a polished stone like jade was used to hurt rather than be the soft, warm and flawless concept of beauty - that chinese media usually uses -. But then the cold showed a soft inner core! Yes! Our dear transmigrator took over and confused the hell out of t he poor LBH that still struggled to excuse SJ’s behavior. Then though, SY took care of him with love and with smiles, using mdoern sensibilities to measure things like care and affection…and I think that some of those discrepancies between a hellish setting and a soft oblivious SY must have been quite jarring to LBH. He sees someone that believes in inherent good and is passionate and silly, knowledgeable and kind, and can’t help but want to be close! He admires him so much!!

Still pre-abyss, not only LBH admires the heck out of SY, he is also his shizun, and i don’t forget about his teacher kink but im talking about the dynamics of it instead of anything sexual. LBH knows and firmly believes that his position is way below that of SQQ’s, he is protected and cared for, but he longs to protect and care for as well right? Because he has seen that SQQ is powerful but not above everything, because he is knowledgeable but not all-seeing, because he may be taken advantage of by someone crafty that doesn’t deserve his kindness. LBH pretends to fall and be weak and helpless when it’s convenient for him, but he knows he has to take every advantage he can bc he needs to be strong enough to protect SQQ, because the world has shown him that there are many dangers and that someone not of a peak lord’s status isn’t worth to marry (idk how much about this airplane would have put into his work, but lets remember that ancient chinese marriages were a very foemal and important thing that involved status and wealth, not just love). Let’s remember our bun has also been a street rat and probably saw many things at one point or another! We can only speculate and write fics about that last point, but the street is not a good place to be, especially in a PIDW setting. Also, bc he wasn’t strong enough, quick enough, bc his family had no power or money his mother died, it’s as hurtful and as plain as that for him, even if he knows (does he though?) that it’s not his fault.

Onwards to the abyss! It’s shit. That’s what it is. Shizun who he admires, respects and loves above everything, who told him that nobody was intolerable for the heavens went against every fucking shit he said and coldly forced LBH into the abyss. What the actual fuck SQQ (affectionate), you gave him so many issues fr. I can only imagine how confused the poor LBH must have felt when his Shizun yet again changed tune like this in a way he can’t fully explain this time, even more so, he could try, but it wouldn’t change the fact that LBH is currently in the worst place ever because the person he loves with his whole heart threw him there (and possibly wanted him to stay down there? to become one of its creatures? To die? He has no idea???). LBH has strived to be good, to be worthy in his teacher’s eyes since he entered the sect and he has just gotten proof that he isn’t and will never be even though he had the hope of getting there despite everything. It’s just filled with heartbreak and i think that the system only deducted SQQ’s current total points bc he literally had to die to be deducted any more and LBH can’t have him dead and the system knows that extremely well! It also gave SQQ a scenario push remember? And that was only for LBH’s benefit istg, SQQ had no idea.

and talking about death! Funny thing isn’t it? It’s ridiculous that SQQ dies so many times (srsly bro, wtf - again affectionate) but I believe that the first was the most traumatic for LBH. SQQ doesn’t sneer at him like a disgusting mucus but instead is afraid of him! LBH worked hard to just see SQQ again, to reunite the courage to talk to him and ask him if he regretted what he did, to show him he was a good person and that he had power now, that he could impress him and protect him (he has lost a lot of his own self-esteem base and i do believe that’s part of where heartbreak points come from) the person whom he values the opinion of the most -the only one even- thinks him a beast and an unredeemable demon…and when he tries to peove himself not that, the only thing SQQ does is run away from him, to decide to be silent and refuse even LBH’s (biased) kindness. He wouldn’t even take LBH’s robe! Imagine that you love someone and that someone hates your guts and refuses to even acknowledge that they hurt you, oh, and all this while an evil sword is fighting to take advantage of your negative feelings. Post-abyss is also shit, just a bit better bc LBH has the illusion of control, he thinks he can still control the situation and is slowly losing hope of shizun understanding him. But the illusion shatters when SQQ self-detonates to save him. The one he supposedly hates. LBH is probably just eternally confused in sv now that i think about it lmao *pats consolingly*

post death 1 (actually 2 for SY): LBH thought he knew shizun, then he realized he couldn’t explain everything shizun did. Then he tried to ask, not even for a full explanation, just to know if shizun really did hate him (bc LBH truly doesn’t care at that point what SQQ does or what SQQ’s reasons and actions were as long as he still loves him, smhw he is so…) and got instead a blow up in his face, coupled with other ppl’s accounts of SQQ mourning him like he was actually truly dead, missing him and finally he sees SQQ sacrificing himself for him. This surely must be enough fpr LBH right? Well…not really, SQQ could have been sacrificing himself to protect the ppl around him - LQG is there and we all know that LBH is mildly sus of him at this point, it will get worse later when LQG is the one coming by every fucking day to retrieve SQQ’s corpse so mhm…its possible LBH thought they had something (not necessarily romantic) at some point, or that LQG and the other ppl were important enough to sacrifice his life for. Not only that, but shizun was not rejoicing when he came back, he never said anything. He killed himself in everyone’s pov -but SQH’s-without explanation, in the most tragic and confusing way of all, saying he would repay LBH…lets also remember that repaying someone can mean completely cutting ties and leaving with a clean slate. And the only actual thing he did was show LBH he didn’t have actual control over the situation and that it was possible to be completely powerful and still lose the ones you love and care about. Idk (or don’t remember haha…) the moment LBH started building the bamboo house in the demonic realm, but it says a lot about what he wants and what he dreams about, the most probable things he is feeling at this point is desperation and melancholy, nostalgia. He longs for the days where he was secure in the knowledge of Shizun’s affection for him, no matter what kind of affection it was, but at the same time is bittersweet because he knows that shizun will never love him foe who he is and that drives him mad with heartbreak that is just building up over time. He will also feel incredibly guilty over SQQ repaying him with his life, because all he ever wanted was basic communication but Shen ‘i am so emotionally repressed i can’t even tell what I’m actually feeling’ Qingqiu obviously thought he was being hunted for revenge. So rip LBH, he wanted an explanation or just a simple ‘i regret it’ but what he gets is confusion, a corpse he has to reanimate asap, and incredible guilt + more damage to his self esteem

Then SQQ comes back and doesn’t even try to search fpr him? And everything becomes a huge mess quite quickly. But. Luo Binghe watches his shizun go back to his martial family and interact with them in a way that he doesn’t interact with LBH anymore. LBH gets his face rubbed with the fact that what he strongly wishes for (going back) is impossible because he made the mistake of being born. Which, would demoralize the strongest of us honestly. And uta been so long since i read sv that I don’t remember much, but im sure that LBH can’t even think that SQQ does care for him, the trauma and insecurity, the abandonment issues have grown so big that they are like a bull in a china shop, ready to shatter everything in short range. Its only when SQQ gives his life (LBH does not know this but he is aware that SQQ would not have used papapa to save the world with just everyone) and gives him something he kept for so long - and that LBH himself thinks is precious despite being worthless - that he understands a bit that shozun may not hate him so much. I’m surprised that heartbreak points weren’t so used or that we didn’t get reminded of them through the story, because it would have given us an inkling of how LBH was feeling, but also spoilers and SQQ’s obliviousness, i imagine that at the end of sv they would have been lower than what they were (in truth) at the IAC but not completely gone

finally, i think that heartbreak points could be used to gauge how traumatized poor LBH was at eaxh point in time, but also to measure the state of his self esteem and the level of hope he had according to the way SQQ acted along the novel. I think that the points were all gone at some point (i eont remember anymore -cries- ) but i fullly believe that post canon Binghe still has heartbreak points and a whole lot of issuws that start to slowly disappear as thwir relationahip progresses. The only thing is that LBH still ties his own worth to SQQ’s opinion of him, and he will have heartbreak points again if he misunderstands SQQ st any point (unlikely but still).

Anyways…

THIS POOR BABY BREAKS MY HEART! He was terrible but he was also very human and truly, he deserves good.

Sorry about the rambling essay! :D

[lilacliquors]

Can I request asking Miguel oharas reaction to fem!reader asking him start a family with her Please? Thank you 💘🙏

okay okay okay hear me out but ... this is set post!gabriella. walk with me, come see my vision:

he's so hesitant at first. he already lost gabriella, and he doesn't know if he could handle having another child. he doesn't want to lose them to let them down like he did her. he almost can't bear the thought.

and of course, you understand. and you tell him it's okay, that having kids isn't a dealbreaker, and that you just wanna spend your life with him. and it's genuine. you give him space after that, and he knows that you don't mean any harm, but he can't help but feel conflicted.

he thinks about it for days. maybe a week. he sees you go about your life as usual, and the topic of children doesn't come back up, at least from you. but he can't help but let his mind wander.

one day, while he's out, he sees a man with presumably his child, laughing and enjoying their time together, and it tugs at his heartstrings. he misses that.

he misses it and he wants it back so badly. he wants to be a good father, he wants not to atone for his past failure, but to create a bright future for his child. he wants to do all the things he never got to do with gabriella ...

he rushes home to you and finds you in the living room, just reading a book. his heart swells when he sees you, and he practically drops to his knees before you and takes one of your hands in his.

and he tells you he wants to try. that he wants to start that family with you, if you're still up for it. he realizes what he's been missing, and he doesn't want to waste another second.

and when he sees that smile on your lips, he knows he's done the right thing, not just for himself, bur for your future.

[juustozzi]

for the Sports Anime Olympics week, day 3... Ina11 Superpesis AU!

pesäpallo (a mix of baseball and a local game "kuningaspallo" from late 1800s) is the national sport of Finland, and Superpesis is the highest national league here. ig started suggesting me superpesis videos a while ago, so when the prompts were up for the week, I instantly knew what I wanted to draw for the AU!

my own knowledge is mostly based on playing pesis in elementary school gym lessons, but it's said to be paced faster than baseball, and apparently the pro players dive a lot? and home runs require a bit more tactic since you can't just blast off the ball with all your strenght.

ngl, the outifts look a bit simple to my own eye since all the superpesis outfits have a lot of ad logos which I was too lazy to draw.. but it was fun turning the soccer outfits into pesis uniforms!

and now the main reason for this AU: among the pesis videos I've seen, there's a specific place with the best videos: a stadium/play field in the west called "island field" where a river parts and goes past two sides of the small island the field is on. knowing that 1) there are no fences around the field, 2) if the ball hits in on the first bouce it basically won't be out no matter how far it goes, and 3) they have cameras set specifically to the river... it tells a lot what sometimes happens there:

here is the og video (and you can also find other cool clips on that account if you want to see pesis in action! they post mainly official league stuff, but the video side is partly curated for curious people)

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[honkowo]

OK NEXT SKETCH DUMP: EMPIRE HARPIES!!!

frop the top we have: harpy king Brutus + her outrageous dinner behaviour(feat skinny aka the current emperor(kadan)), a normie harpy next 2 the previous harpy king & skinny legend Night Hawk, & then multiple pics of misc harpies(tryna get used 2 how i wanna draw them) + a bit of harpy clothing & a npc harpy im yet 2 name

[hiphopcherrrypop]

55! My lucky number

lalalalala i like u!

this one uhmmmm.. halloween even tho it's december josuyasu 👍

except i realized too late that i was thinking of lovey dovey mv LOL.. but whatever they can be roly poly too i guess

[another-lost-mc]

I hate how Mephistopheles has no lore. I'm making an OC that out ranks him and the fucker has no established rank??? Sir your whole goddamn thing is "I'm a noble, goddamn it" and like no rank? No bitches? No nobility??

So I'm picking one (Grand Dutches, technically?) and going with the punches, but how do you fix Solomare's near non-existent lore so well?? This shit is hard! Mad props!

I'm grateful that we got more Mephisto lore in Nightbringer, but like many characters, new info or interactions are few and far between except when it's needed as a plot device. lol

Even though Mephisto isn't a member of the Ars Goetia, he's a Faustian demon or what I call a "named" demon which has important relevance in my personal world building. Other than that, we know that his family has deep roots to the Devildom nobility, are highly influential, and that he was basically raised to be Diavolo's friend. We know his special power now thanks to Nightbringer, but my version of it is a bit sinister because, you know, demons.

Unless you're new around here, my solution to gaps in the game's lore or storytelling is solved by personal headcanons/world building and creating OCs. I knew I wanted to write more about Mephisto, and that meant exploring his relationships and history outside of what the game told us.

Before NB existed, I was already developing his little brother OC because using characters/info only found in the games limits the potential for complexity and drama. Plus, writing an OC for Mephisto's brother helped me develop my own interpretation of Mephisto's character too.

When the game only leaves us crumbs to work with, here's what my brainstorming looks like to try and explore possible ways to fill in the gaps:

Creating an OC for Mephisto's younger brother: Mephisto is a named demon and part of the demon nobility. My thought: his brother is probably a named demon of some importance too.

Naming Mephisto's little brother: After doing some reading, I learned Mephisto wasn't part of the Ars Goetia, but that didn't mean his brother couldn't be. Result: I just picked a name off the list that I liked. LOL

Note: I have friends that have OCs based off other Ars Goetia demons so I purposefully avoided choosing those names because I write about my version the Devildom assuming those OCs exist within it.

Developing Bathin as an OC: Okay, we have a name. Cool, that's usually the hard part. Now we have to build him up from nearly nothing! What I knew about his character before NB released: he was significantly younger than Mephisto (I imagined the same or slightly younger than Luke with a similar childlike appearance) and that Mephisto was a very attentive and doting older sibling. Based on the RAD Sports event in OG, I concluded if he was that protective of Luke, he would be even more protective of his younger brother as well. I also interpreted the events and assigned Mephisto his demonic trait (having a tail of some kind instead of wings). In my mind, demonic traits are something that might be part of the family's heritage, so I decided that Bathin would look similar to Mephisto in his human form and also his demon form.

Identifying gaps/issues with Bathin's character: The main concern I had to address for Bathin was his existence as a demon of the Ars Goetia. Solomon has pacts with all of them, and this implies that he would also have a pact with Bathin - a literal demon child. Oops!

Questions I needed to answer:

Why would Solomon want a pact with a child and how did this happen?

Are there any limitations/restrictions if a pact is made with a demon child that isn't mature/"of age"?

Should I change his name to something else to avoid this issue? Nah.

Solving Bathin's existence as a child in the Ars Goetia: I basically wrote a world building theory about demon death/exorcism and respawn cycles to explain which demons can respawn and which ones cannot. Naming conventions and the impact on existing pacts are part of this theory.

Conclusion using fill-in-the-gaps world building:

A form of the death & rebirth cycle exists for demons.

Using theory, Bathin can exist as a member of the Ars Goetia because he was killed/exorcised as a mature demon. His essence/power exists within the version of him that was reborn later.

Implications and things to continue developing:

Bathin made his pact with Solomon as a mature demon and the pact persisted through death, although as a child the pact is weak and practically unusable.

Demons who respawn usually have no memories of their previous existence, but Mephisto would remember him from before. That can explain why he might be close and very protective of his younger brother. Solomon would also have memories of past!Bathin as well and that could have some interesting effects on how Solomon interacts with Mephisto as well.

Demons that are exorcised and respawned might carry some lingering physical evidence of their death - for example, the power of an angel's grace maiming some part of their body. This helped me visualize Bathin's physical appearance and explain any potential scars or flaws he was born with.

Child!Bathin won't be a copy of his former self, so there is potential for drama/angst as those that knew him best before re-learn the "new" him.

The possibility to explore Mephisto as a child and how his friendship with Diavolo was fostered/pressured by those around him (and Bathin's feelings/attitudes about Mephisto's potential (mis)treatment).

Explaining past!Bathin's untimely demise in the first place and the characters/circumstances involved.

If you ever wondered how I take a random throwaway reference in the game and expand on it to create an OC, here's what the process looked like when I was developing Mephisto's brother. He's very precious and though I doubt we'll see much more of him in the game other than some vague references, I enjoy writing about Mephisto enough that dedicating an OC to his little brother was worthwhile.

I'll end this with a treat for those of you that decided to read through all this rambling: