the-vengeful-maiden

[diverse-hearts-ocs]

//HSR starter call as I lack self control?

Feel free to request a muse

[ausrache]

ok while I’m lurking and have the brain capacity, ❤️ this for an unprompted, probably angsty with some potential for hurt/comfort, ask from Mali. Multis please specify on your end!

[mutatiio]

ask call!! ❤️ this (specify muse, if you so wish) and i will send you a long(ish), personalised ask!!

[blindfoldcd]

ooc. slap that heart if you want me to write your url in fancy script while i wait at the optometrist. bonus: specify color + muse name if you want

[convxction]

New R.esplendent E.xalt C.hrom with N.ifl inspired outfit. Thanks, I hate it.

[sentofight]

ooc. In this house events don't end just because it finished in real life. Like for a v-day ask. Specify muses please. Oh and v-day asks can be familial and platonic we cater to every taste winks.

[pararennial-archived]

Roxy @ anybody she’s beefing with.

[stampeden]

I’m back from vacation but will be gone for a few more days. You see a plushie Vash standing in a dark hallway like this what do you do? (Fear not hes covered in strawberry jelly)

[aa-carnivorousfatality]

I'm alive. And remembering why I don't really write in the sonic rpc anymore.

[viaetor]

exhaustion

im sorry for throwing this here in the first place. I generally don't post vents on tumblr dot com, but I've been under so much stress lately and I just. don't have anywhere I can dump things yknow?? i don't wanna feel like a burden to my friends or as if its their responsibility.

but I've been so, so exhausted lately. but it's so hard to just *stop* or *take a break*.

currently, im working 3 part-time jobs, participating in 4 uni projects, writing my thesis, finishing up my government-funded research, completing translations, on top of having my regular classes. not to mention more work and projects ive been "invited" to accept that are still starting up and my upcoming mandatory internship. my parents have been entrusting me with more and more responsibilities regarding their physical health as seniors. but i also need to keep an eye out so that my drug addict sister doesn't do anything stupid and gets thrown out of the house again. I'm also worried about another sister of mine.

Lately i tried to distract myself by involving myself more with my friends. I've helped a few friends out with their own stuff (moving, writing, job interviews, emotional support) and ive been reconnecting with long past friendships, which is pretty neat. and it was working for a while, but im starting to get drained from even the simplest interactions.

now every time I look at my phone or get out of my room, people are calling me to ask to do stuff for them. I'm so numb to it all, I just do it automatically even when my body is sore and my brain is dead.

the worst part is that I can't quit anything. there are no vacations waiting for me, and no way I can lessen my workload more than I already have. I'm numb to it all, it's exhausting, but I feel so ashamed for even feeling tired. I feel like I have no right to feel that. I'm so used to being "reliable" and "efficient" to others that I'm not sure if I know how to Not be what people expect of me.

Ive been trying not to smoke or stress-eat and instead just hit the gym to get rid of the stress and anxiety, but even that hasn't been enough.

I want to write. I want to draw. I wanna learn languages. I wanna study. I wanna chat. But I just don't have the energy to do the things that make me feel happy and healthy. even if I'm ironically already doing some of them. I feel like an ungrateful brat. especially since I'm surrounded by so many awesome people.

I'm really lucky to have you all. I love getting your messages, seeing your posts, writing with you. I'm so happy with how I've been developing bonds with people here. thank you so much for investing in me! i really do cherish and appreciate it. I just want to apologise for seeming so distant and emotionally unavailable, not to mention how long i take to reply sometimes. to those that have been nothing but kind and patient to me, thank you from the bottom of my heart. I hope I can make it up to you!

I'm just really, really tired at the moment, and I'm not sure how to juggle through everything in my life right now. so I'm really sorry.

I wish I had dottore's skills so I could make clones of myself ngl. that'd be pretty neat

[diverse-hearts-ocs]

//I won't be doing any Val Day things on any of my blogs ~ I may try next year but atm it's still too much to handle

Shippy things are okay - I wanna send out lantern rite things at some point hopefully.

[esserisupremi]

.

[zealctry]

stares longingly at the dash.

[mutatiio]

me: queue the replies you've done. having a buffer is good and spamming the dash is annoying-

the demons: post everything right now 👹

[blindfoldcd]

ooc. Watching the 4.7 special program and SOBBING

[convxction]

ooc. Late but happy father's day for mister fayre embrumu krumbino. Best fe dad (bold claim I don't stand by it 😂)