#only when done right tho!!!
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As much as I’m a fan of academy romance I always have the opinion that Dimitri was pining after Byleth while she was oblivious until maybe the last month of the school year.
This is just a golden period for antics like Byleth just had a casual one night stand because she’s so clinical about sex at at that point, and the oblivious fool doesn’t notice she has a hickey on her neck. Cue Feral Dimitri appearing and everyone in the class is wondering why the polite prince is glaring at their professors neck. 5 years later she wonders why Dimitri is so fixated with leaving marks on her
SKDKKSKSKS THIS IS SO GOOD. SO BIG-BRAINED.
BYLETH DOESNT KNOW SHIT LMAOOO she’s out there being like “yeah i’ve kissed other ppl before, they were fine i think*
*cue dimitri, sitting literally the other side of the dining room listening in to byleth’s conversation, and his spoon snaps in his hands. dedue hands him another spoon and he immediately bends it too*
post-TS where dimitri is in his feral era and he’s busy ignoring byleth……. while also putting his ear against her door whenever she invites someone over to tea in her room. byleth catches him spying on her one day and offers to brew him tea, and he just runs away like a rat ducking into the sewers
#asks#i love jealous dimitri and oblivious byleth#only when done right tho!!!#especially if byleth also develops feelings for dimitri but doesn’t realize it#she sees him speaking with a female student and she has the sudden urge to slice someone lmao
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I find it highly amusing how in situations where the ninja are separated/it's just the OG four, Kai and Zane immediately assume control/start spearheading the team because apparently no one else is sane enough or in the right mind to do so.
Your honour, they literally have one of the best dynamics in the show, with how they're probably the most protective people in the team. And it makes me mad how this is overlooked by the fandom and the show.
#ninjago#zane julien#kai smith#Seriously tho#Aside from Cole#They're probably the most competent to lead#In Hunted they're mainly the ones working on everything#Fixing the radio#Jay has lost his shit and Cole is pre occupied with taking care of Wu#In MotM they just#Kai becomes the fucking Chancellor and with Zane as his Vice/right hand man#And in crystalized they're the only ones that are serious about this stuff#They're tracking Lloyd while Jay is bored and while Cole is doing nothing#Ay all I'm saying is#We need to see more of them together#I wanna see these 2 bond more#I want the show to focus on the aspect of them being the most protective#And how they probably have a lot of things in common when it comes to protecting the other ninja and making sure they're alright#Hmmmm my brain is going off in the tags#Oh chemistry what you done to me#You cruel cruel subject...#Anyway how are yall doing?
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tease tidbit tuesday
tagged by @bidisasterevankinard @tizniz 💖
more bucktommy the will talk (they're getting there, the conversation went a bit off track lol) - it might be done this week, and then I can focus on the smut, and the buddie fics, and I have a new bucktommy idea inspired by that video of lou barbecuing with his shirt off that I sooo wanna write🙈
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“Well, yeah, of course.” Buck answers easily, his heartbeat speeding up. He’s a little anxious about putting too much pressure, too many expectations out there, but he also knows that even if he did, they’d get back on track, they’d be fine. And besides, Tommy’s smiling, he doesn’t seem freaked out at all. And that’s after Buck brought up children. But if they’re moving forward with their relationship, they need to know what they want out of life. It seems reasonable to have this conversation this early on.
“Good.” he responds, grinning widely. “Now I won't have to stress about your answer when I ask.” he adds, and Buck feels himself blush, butterflies in his stomach going wild. Oh. Oh. This is- this is real. They’re talking about it, and maybe someday soon- he might marry this man. He will marry this man. Tommy wants him forever. Tommy wants him. Tommy wants to marry him and have children with him, and just be with him. Sometimes it’s still so shocking to Buck that someone as great and amazing as Tommy wants him, but he does. Buck’s not sure he remembers the last time he felt this wanted.
“How- how do you know I won’t ask first?” Buck asks, moving his head slightly closer to Tommy, just enough to look into his beautiful blue eyes. It feels surreal, talking about this, when they only dated for a few months, but it also feels… right. It feels like they’re on the right track to get there one day.
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no pressure tags: @elvensorceress @thebravebitch @shortsighted-owl @eddiebabygirldiaz @watchyourbuck @eowon @loserdiaz @evanbegins @ladydorian05 @wildlife4life @diazpatcher @lover-of-mine @monsterrae1 @thewolvesof1998 @weewootruck @loveyouanyway @spagheddiediaz @rainbow-nerdss @epicbuddieficrecs @pirrusstuff @spotsandsocks @alliaskisthepossibilityoflove @nmcggg @rogerzsteven @hippolotamus @giddyupbuck @sunshinediaz @honestlydarkprincess @underwaterninja13 @exhuastedpigeon @911-on-abc @jesuisici33 @steadfastsaturnsrings @buddieswhvre @fortheloveofbuddie @your-catfish-friend @theotherbuckley @daffi-990 @dangerpronebuddie @hoodie-buck @aroeddiediaz @diazsdimples
#tease tidbit tuesday#wikiangela writes#bucktommy fic#im about to start the actual will convo but having trouble transitioning into it so we'll see but should be done this weekend haha#remember when i said i'd write like 2 bucktommy fics and go back to buddie? lmao yeah right#honestly i don't care - bucktommy is the only thing bringing me genuine excitement rn and i'm gonna ride that high as long as i can#if y'all follow me just for buddie - sorry not sorry? lol they'll be back but for now I'm here idk#again if anyone wants to not be tagged in my bucktommy just lmk - and if anyone wants to start being tagged - lmk 💁#fic snippet#my writing#my wips#911 fic#911 abc#bucktommy#tommy kinard#evan buckley#buck x tommy#bucktommy wip#bucktommy the will talk fic#fireflight#firepilot#tevan#<- what shipname are we actually using lmao im lost (bucktommy and fireflight are my faves tho sns)
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apparently buying groceries in your pjs is a kiwi thing???? what???? i thought this was a universal norm
#i havent done it often but thats only bc i get my groceries right after work#when i lived around the corner from a 4 square you couldnt PAY me to get dressed to go there tho#and i dont remember the last time i was at the supermarket and DIDNT see someone in their pjs#sometimes being the most fuckable person in the grocery store means being the person with the cosiest oodie
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It’s just…so painful to watch Armand readily submit in order to obtain the love he so desperately craves. And while it’s most assuredly a manipulative tactic, it’s still one borne out of fear and desperation. He cannot lose this person he’s come to love and so will become whatever they want, do whatever they want just so they’ll stay with him. But it won’t be enough. No matter how much he acquiesces or seeks to control (himself, others, the environment), he won’t be able to make Louis stay with him in the perfect life, perfect self he built in the hopes of finally being loved. It will all crumble with Armand left alone in the rubble of what he created, the author of his own abandonment.
#this unfortunately hits way too close to home for me#let’s not even get into Claudia’s anger at never being enough#iwtv spoilers#interview with the vampire#armand#this is just me speaking from personal experience…but there is definite manipulation at play here from Armand#and I don’t necessarily mean that pejoratively- when you’re desperate for people to like/love you you’ll become whatever they want#or whatever you think they’d want and you give it to them so they’ll want to keep you around#I’ve done it so often with the people in my life- and make no mistake it’s also a survival tactic#you give someone what they want they won’t hurt you#and when that’s how you survive for years and years it becomes the default method of interacting with others#even with normal people who genuinely mean you no harm you revert to that people pleasing mode#as a means of control both external and internal#this is what i see armand doing- his way of surviving that he’s never truly broken out of#armand ceding coven control to Louis and curating the Dubai penthouse for Louis are part of the same pattern of behavior#and even tho it’s ultimately harmful and will only end badly for armand and Louis’ relationship#idk if armand knows how to not exist that way with someone he loves/desires#all of this also ties into louis and daniel#because of course Armand will lose it over Louis finding connection and interest with someone else aside from him#someone HUMAN no less#and I can see Armand taking out his anger on Daniel as a way of expressing his own frustration at still not being enough for Louis#breaking daniel’s mind in a desperate attempt to understand why this human could reach Louis in ways he couldn’t#not saying any of this to excuse Armand and his behavior obviously (I’m very upset and worried over the trial looming on the horizon)#but I do understand this impulse and how you’ll throw ANYONE under the bus in order to preserve your place with loved ones#it’s all horrifying but unfortunately I empathize#like even if Louis is right to walk out on him when he learns/remembers the truth of what happened to Claudia#I’ll probably still find myself saddened by Armand’s fate because I’ve absolutely been there myself#it’s a tragedy of his own making- his fear and desperation birthing manipulative and controlling behaviors#that ultimately result in your own abandonment#god this fucking show
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on reflection the fact that we didn’t see laena claim vhagar, and now didn’t see the moment addam got on seasmoke either? kinda annoying me
#hotd spoilers#i mean at least we got to SEE addam and seasmoke meet#like since the timeline started we’ve had three perhaps four dragon claiming and not cradle eggs - laena and vhagar; aemond and vhagar;#helaena and dreamfyre; addam and seasmoke; potentially aegon and sunfyre since it’s kinda fuzzy on exactly how that one worked#(i imagine similar to however laenor & seasmoke worked tho? that one is similarly vague)#(oh fuck and daeron and tessarion are in the same boat right? very young rider very young dragon but we’re not told whether this is a cradle#egg or whether this child just felt a pull to a young dragon or whether they were specifically allowed to choose that dragon)#anyways i think it’s really annoying we’ve only see that one (1) claiming esp when you look at the riders of the other ones lol.#also vhagar gets a LOT of action helaena and dreamfyre don’t get anything and they cut the one thing they did do.#laena is vastly underused altho i will give them that they at least on screen establish that bond which is more than u can say for dreamfyre#the seasmoke thing is also like. if you were Just gonna kill him offscreen so addam could ride him. what’s the point.#literally could have just had daemon kill him atp & just have him lie to rhaenyra or whatever.#i’ve really liked the dragon scenes we’ve gotten but frequently it’s like. u called the show house of the dragon.#surely you thought about how you were going to cheaply do the dragons or budget them in. why don’t we get more dragons.#‘well they’re expensive-‘ get an animatronic head to interact w like jurassic park. some of these characters rode their dragons every day!#okY i’m done bitching i can’t believe after i spent all of got going ‘fuck these dragons where are the wolves’ now i’m like#WJERE ARE THE FUCKING DRAGONS CONDAL
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okay so. don’t crucify me. but su she and jin guangyao do actually make some pretty compelling points.
#critical class analysis of mdzs when???? when will i write it when????#but like.#like#fuck okay i love how it ends#because i love a happy ending#but i just keep thinking about how su she and ESP jin guangyao are right that… they kinda… had to do what they did#like su she has a few more blunders and he’s clearly jealous/resentful but… he’s not necessarily wrong about being looked down on in the la#for reasons he can’t really control#and jgy… where to even begin like okay he shouldn’t have done all those horrible things#but they ALL did horrible things#the difference is that jgy did not have anyone backing him if he fucked up if he wanted to live in dignity#he had to make sure his spot was secure#lxc lwj and whoever else was in the guanyin temple can judge him all they want#but except for wwx they’re all clan leaders or uncontested heirs#they have a level of wealth & security that allows them to make judgements on the actions of others#knowing that they can act basically free from lasting consequence#the only person who isn’t immune is wei wuxian but even then… he had the jiang clan in the past#which. it’s complicated. i know it’s complicated.#but he did attain a lot of privilege thru his connection with them and they did protect him as much as they reasonably could have#in the circumstances they were given#for the most part#and then in the future he has lan wangji who will literally kill anyone that comes at him#makes sure he’s warm and fed and kept entertained and away from pesky things like#responsibilities#and difficult conversations#so even tho he once knew a life like jgy’s he’s so far removed from it now#and just#sorry there’s a reason why all of this is in the tags#it’s not super clear in my head yet#but this is the start i promise i will come back to it
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anyway havent had the wearwithall to finish a post or lay stuff out With Proof. in some way yet but. Just lets play our favourite game. This story from someone elses perspective.
the very funny stone pov. ur the oldest coolest strongest guy around doing ur tasks and also lookig to bring home a guy/polictical tool for ur granddaughter. u see a alone consort guy and ur like okay. interesting. but when he sees u watching he gets SO SCARED and runs away. then u see him sentenced to death via the elements.so u save his life. and turns out hes the most neurotic lost puppy in the whole world. and he doesnt know anything. and he thinks your going to kill him for the weirdest things. and hes an asshole. but also probably sometimes he looks at you and your like. jesus. this fucking kid. all through it all ur still mostly considering using him politically/setting him up with ur granddaughter. and not telling him.
and then get in the shit at this place u were going to that got all destoryed and ur fighting for ur life and all that. and the little idiot followed you in? and saves you and you save him. and then hes looking SO SCARED but different scared and hes all banged up and ur like. jesus. kid. and its like... okay well what if we did sometime crazy ur not gonna like it AT ALL. and he would have to trust you. AND HE DOESNT TRUST U. but he does it.
and u show him more of you and The Lost Neurotic Puppy factor has just gone throught the roof. cornered prey AND homesick dog. and he finds out the other part of the plan. and he HATES that hes NOT gonna do that... but he keeps hedging whether hes gonna run away now. while reaffirm his commitment to 'helping temporarily'.
likeee do u get my point just like. that moon is NOT actually able to hide whats going on for him and like. damn. thats insane. whats wrong with this guy (his pathetic and abrasive nature has charmed another grandfatherly figure)
OR. and this one sends me into hysterics. from jades pov i think this turns into a DIFFERENT genre eh? like ur grandpa was supposed to bring you a politicial/royal match but he brought... a dark brooding stranger... hes a little Wild. he Hunts or Runs off by himself, he doesnt know the customs blah blah. He's illusive and wont accept ur gifts what are you doing wrong!!! and u travel off with him and its like. right hes neurotic and shy and he maybe doesnt wanna stay. oh but hes so good at solving problems in excepted ways. he nearly dies saving ppl. and u gotta like. hold his weak shivering form <- take a shot every time. and anyway he WONT commit to you... he MIGHT CONSIDER giving u some kids tho... but its complicate. and he DID seem interested for a second but breaks it off... but u have gotten the faint impression he does likes being lead/bossed/pushed around a bit.
including up to. getting attacked and he kills and enemy but not b4 u hear stuff where its like. Woah. did he betray you all. can he be trusted. but no its actually just. His Tragic Backstory, THE SECOND PART. oh and another, ah thats why hes like that. in general and about ur advances. but anyway he tells you all that be hesssss freezing to death.... wont someone keep him warm 👀. and NOW finally. he wants u back. cause he just really needed to be seen and acceptected that bady. oh and... He does. Like being pushed around. btw.
insane. insane. his stray dog rizz. his. horrible everything going on that is impossible to resist. as long as where INSIDE moons head the story is filtered thru his 8000 layers of social calculus and his constant mantra of 'what the fuck is going on and Are you going to kill me and fuck this shit honestly im so tired' but thinking NOT seeing his thougths its hard to imagine it makes it less obvious that his whole. shit. is fucked like that. it would just instead be. ppl reacting to the scrappiest little weirdo in the world. my little freak. what do the kids say. pookie?
#some shit#dragon book place holder tag#NOW am /I/ gonna be killed for voicing a HUMOUROUS light heart interpration of a book series when im only 1/2 done the FIRST ONE.#cause i know now theres multiple bloggers who know more than me. one even seemed to follow me home tho i havent seen em yet lol#wipes my brow. no its probably fine this is comics fandom i dont need 10 billion sources.#O_____O RIGHT?
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Is it hard to breathe wearing a corset?
I know that's the common joke about them, but nah! Not even remotely, actually. that said, corsets are very easy to loosen if you do feel too constricted- the lacing at the back is highly highly customizable.
#A properly fitted / positioned corset isn't squeezing your whole torso evenly#It's really only applying moderate pressure to your whole biz and then a lot more on the waist#but when it's all done right it's only squeezing on fat#which feels like nothing. and doesn't impede functionality#I can still take deep breaths when I wear a corset#I can't bend at the waist tho#sergle answers
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Hello friends! Just a quick kh4f programming note: I'll be out of commission for most of, if not all of today, as I'm having a minor medical procedure done. (Outpatient, everything's fine, dw! 🫶🏻) So if anything notable happens (fully expecting Ash to announce ai2 the second I'm sedated 😌) and I'm MIA... that's why lol. Try not to have too much fun without me! ��💙
#i overslept the day Superbloom was announced so it would only be right for Ashton to announce his next album while I'm anesthetized 😂#i almost hope he does that'd be so perfect lmao#what other chaos might happen#if he randomly goes live - someone record it for me#if he randomly announces a concert and tickets go on sale in 5 minutes - someone buy me a ticket#if he finally reveals the back tattoo i've been begging for for the past 5 years -#someone call my doctor and ask her to put me under for longer bc I'm not ready for that#do u like how this entire scenario only involves Ashton content#if one of his friends posts something that'll be a fun treat for me to wake up to 😌#but if it's Luke being slutty someone warn me bc I might want to stay on hospital property to consume that in my weakened state#fr tho i'm fine don't worry i'm just having some testing done no big deal#well a big deal to me bc i have ✨trauma✨ from this particular test when i had it done in the past 😜#but we're being Brave and doing it anyways ✌🏻#and then if i feel better later i can come online afterwards and say anything i want and blame it on the dr*gs so really it's all a win 🤡#ok that's enough silliness love u ttyl 💙💙#personal
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guys the MCD rewrite for funsies of summaries and ramblings via 2000 characters at a time on Discord has apparently hit almost 10k words
#i may have a problem#im only like halfway through what i want to do#considering i through the canon to the wayside almost immediately and am making headcanons up left right and center#im having fun tho!!!#i might post it to ao3 when im done but considering that its very much 3rd person no convos only summaries of what was said#becca rambles#minecraft diaries#aphmau mcd#mcd rewrite
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re: "good girl" i think they say it once randomly as a joke and its just one of those things that gets him wayyy more than they expected it would. so now its their secret weapon and they use it very sparingly and every single time he gets super embarrassed about it but it works ill tell you what.
#HES MY PRINCESS IDEK.#i dont think it happens naturally all that much because theyre usually in the business of calling each other names and being mean#so i think this would just be a random night where theyre on top and just think it would be really funny. to yank on his leash and call him#a good girl after bullying him into doing something. and well i just think it would get him is all i dont knowwwwwwwwwwwwww#i havr a lot of thoughts on the matter but i will stop for now#but the tldr is that with each other they tend to switch frequently and are always fighting#so i think itd take someone else being in the picture for hog to even realize how much he likes being a good boy :3#and i also dont think fish would be good at straightforward domming in the way he would want and they both know that#so its something he keeps between him and rat mostly. please dont ask me questions abt jrs sex life i have too many opinions on it#anyways. i think even tho fish knows theyd be bad at that they still feel left out so sometimes they go watch. they dont get anything out of#doing that theyre just sort of taking mental notes#all of this circles back to i think fish has always been the more sexually experienced of the two. and romantically.#i dont rlly think hog is a guy who dates i dont think hes ever been that and i dont think he made much time for hookups#(i think its cute if hes a virgin when they meet but 🤷 im not solid on it)#but i think for him hes just only ever fucked this one person and they do a LOT of stuff and it gets the job done so hes just never really#tried anything else. but. and again i have too many opinions on this but i think rat wouldnt be into their usual shteeze#i think hes a bit of a freak in his own way but the blood and weird anger issues is just not doing it for him most of the time#but i do think if given the opportunity he would LOVE to be The Boss for a little bit so i think he and hog can explore that together and it#will work out beautifully for them. this is great because i am not into strict d/s dynamics like that but i know in my heart that hoggy#would be. and i cant do that for him#again i think fish would be butthurt about this. mostly in a 'why didnt u tell me so we could try this :(' and he would go#'because you would suck at it and wouldnt like it' and they go oh. right. well im still mad#ANYWAYS. circling back. i think the good girl thing would be something fish knows that rat doesnt. and idk if theyd tell him or not#because i do think if they tell him he is using that for evil hog is going to be a good girl forever and ever. rat doesnt have the patience#to space it out the way fish does. which idk maybe thatd be good for hog he could work through some stuff...#but on the other hand i think its fun if they DONT tell him and just bust it out sometime when all 3 of them are doing the deed. or whatever#because again they mostly like how embarrassed he gets about it and i think he would be reallyyyy flustered by it#^ this is essentially part of my fantasy about spitroasting my beautiful wife until he cries just so everyone knows#idk i just think when he lets go of himself hed be a very cute and kind of needy subby bottom and i think hed be really easy to fluster#about it and i want it so bad
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if you're comparing bl3 or new tales to the movie I'm gonna need a full essay on my desk about why you think they're comparable or I will take you directly to jail
#borderlands is good and i have yet to see criticism that actually tracks#well much. I've seen a little for new tales which is FAIR!!!#I'm open to seeing criticism of games i like but so much of it is bad faith interpretations of the writing#borderlands is soooo much more fun when you actually go ''#''okay WHY tho'' and actually think about it for five minutes because 9 times out of 10 there's an answer that vibes w canon#or even was set up explicitly by canon#BL3 AND NEW TALES ARE FUN#honestly i think some of y'all just don't like borderlands anymore but refuse to admit it#and only like the old games bc of nostalgia#lol#anyway!#i need to replay new tales so i can defend it more properly#but i have a bad memory so it's hard to come up w specific examples of things done right#which is why i usually turn to my lorekeeper friend LOL#anyway actually I'd replay bl3 over bl2 for gunplay alone. personally.#i find 99% of areas & missions in bl2 obnoxious on replays. it feels like a slog#to me#unpopular opinion alert sry#sylv speaks#dl
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.
#the more i stay around people the more i want to become like them out of spite#because i was so surprised these people are at least 24-26 years age some even did a minor bachelor's before coming here#some have completed post grad and then joined#like aren't you all too fucking old to act that immature#i grew so resentful of everyone how they keep on doing the worst low man shit and then victimize themselves#hypocrites full of shit they don't want to hear the truth#i know no one has the audacity to take a fight with me on here because they know im the youngest here#not because im the youngest but because im better#the girls frown upon me because i don't hear their low mindset humorless jokes and pointo out where they fall short#oh [my irl name] youre so stiff hamesha kami kyun nikalti rahti ho hamesha baat kaatne ki aadat hai learn to take a joke#mazaak hi to kar rahe hain kya yaar#ive cried so many times because i feel suffocated here and out of hate i want to act immature selfish hypocrite too so i do#i become self centered and look into my needs#but everyday bcg shows me how one stays firm in mindset even amidst surrounding of shit people#he points out to me all the time when i start acting like them he says why aren't you trying to rise above#i say ham bhi karte hai na unn chutiyon jaisa behave kyunki unhe unhi ki language mei samajh aata hai#achha ban kar honest banne se kuch nahi milta yaha#but he knows his stuff#he never does these things#however much i let evil thoughts take upon i get astounded everyday how he's practicing his rightful his honesty even tho no one's looking#it makes me want to cry#i hope he gets so ahead in life i hope he stands at the podium one day on a stage and deliver speeches where people actually can see him#like he sees the orator that come to attend our unis gatherings and says everytime kuch to baat hoti hai inn logon mei#i hope he achieves whatever he wants i hope he gets ahead of everyone all this fucking corruption#its not that he's done anything that im applauding he tries his best#and maybe teachers see that too all in class they're only looking at him and teaching they know#do you know how fucking hard it is not get corrupted in this uni and become one of those assholes that have done things unimaginable#im inspired everyday ill try my best to be like him#i do not just want to praise him i want to become someone he doesn't have to say fir tum bhi vahi karogi to kya farq reh jaayega#kuch bada nahi hota logon ki roz roz ki choti choti aadaton se pata chal jaata hai vo kaise hain
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my mom used to get so mad because we were required to wear athletic shorts under our school uniform skirts. "who is checking for that??" she would say
#i mean she was right lol. i think it was probably more of a further reinforcement of the length tho idk#if you've never had a plaid uniform skirt they come unhemmed and they're suppppperrrr long and you have to have them tailored#and when I had mine done the tailor was like “oh you're a good girl” and I would say they were still quite short#it seems crazy that you could get them permanently altered too short and then get in trouble and have to have them redone#also you only needed those skirts for four years so unless you had a crazy growth spurt you had to just keep wearing the same ones
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Despite all odds, I have arrived home safely👍
Turns out that the earlier goop was the better goop. The adderall goop. The adderall has worn off now though. So I am. Very incredibly out of it.
But I am home. And I will take my quick shower. And then I will climb into bed.
I do need to eat. But... later...
#speculation nation#im the special kind of tired where im more tired than hungry#which is to say my every cell is yelling at me to get some fucking sleep.#and i dont think id be much more successful at eating rn than i was this morning.#i ate. half a can of chef boyardee. which was half bc i was so focused on typing and half bc i could barely stomach it.#so i at least ate Something. but not as much as normal.#i did have an ensure in the middle of the day. so theres some nutrients too at least.#i'll eat after i get a few hours of sleep. when the edge is no longer so desperate.#and hopefully i'll be able to stomach things better then.#honestly have all nighters always been this hard or am i just getting older? i havent actually pulled an all nighter since uhhh#well there was kind of one on dead dad day. but that day sucked just in general.#last time i think was april '23 when i read t.rimax volume 9-14 within a 24 hour period while also finishing a final presentation.#even then tho i got like 2 hours of sleep. it was still pretty rough though.#like ok i guess those times were pretty awful and also i did get at least some sleep. which is more than today.#so it makes sense for me to be in worse shape rn. i also didnt get as much sleep the night before last as i wanted to#i got... ...maybe 4 hours sleep??? ummm. which isnt a good thing actuslly. no wonder im so fucking exhausted.#i can barely type right now i will be honest. it was so hard to bike home. it took all my focus to not drive off a bridge#or get pushed into traffic by wind. oh boy the wind sure did try.#then i almost tripped down the stairs at my apartment after grabbing the mail bc i Briefly was focused on my mail 🙄#barely present. total mess. but at least im home. and i already did all the thinking i need to do today.#i was brave. i perservered. i was tempted to give up around 6 am ish but i was like No. this is getting done TODAY.#so i did it. i turned it in. and i so bravely did my in class work for my 2nd class. even though i was so mentally not present the whole way#i did my thinking... i am home... rest soon.#actually its kind of funny im lying on my couch rn and i think if most other ppl were in my current state theyd fall asleep right here.#but the power of my insomnia is so. powerful. i am not at risk of falling asleep without meaning to.#only time thats ever actually happened are like. a handful of times i was like. the most tired ive ever been in my life. etc etc.#in fact idk how well i'll be able to fall asleep for my nap. i certainly couldnt last night despite how hard i tried.#hopefully this time... i am truly tired enough....pls i need to rest i am so tired 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭
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