#only took 8 months but i got there
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i had a dream about you last night for the first time in a while. it was nice. it was just another 'what if things werent what they were' dream. it didnt hurt to wake up. i didnt have time to go through the what ifs before i had to get out of bed. i still miss you sometimes but it doesnt hurt anymore
#only took 8 months but i got there#i cant believe you were in and out of my life in under a year#a man has to be what he is i guess#c
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Someone pissed me off a couple of days ago
So! Below are several links to programs and foundations that promote adult literacy! Hundreds of millions of adults world wide were failed by their education system and now must fend for themselves while trying to read contracts and hospital bills and infographics from the CDC. But they don't have to be alone, and it is never too late to learn!
ProLiteracy: A network of educators, researchers, and advocates which provides research reports, learning materials, and other support to adult education programs. They assist with connecting volunteers to local programs and provide guidance and support to community leaders trying to use their programs' findings to advocate for social and political change.
Adult Literacy League: An adult education program in Central Florida, which aims to provide students with one on one attention to foster growth and confidence. It also offers English Second Language courses and job skills training, and each new student receives a comprehensive assessment to determine the best plan for them.
Saint Vincent and Sarah Fisher Center's Foundational Skills Program: A 100% free adult education program aimed at adults reading below a fifth grade level. It operates year round and is either in person or remote, and they now have a GED testing center that is open to students and the public alike.
Washtenaw Literacy: A free network of trained tutors for adults in Washtenaw County, Michigan.
Adult Learning Program (Las Vegas/Clark County): Free education classes to those lacking a high school diploma, those seeking to learn ESL, and adults who read below an eighth grade level. Also assists in students' search for gainful employment. Nevada got so fucked by COVID and the education/literacy numbers in the South West are grim. Please help these guys.
Hawaii Literacy: In addition to helping adult residents of Hawaii Island learn to read and write AND bridging the education gap in Hawaii's underserved children, they offer computer literacy classes, ESL classes, and a bookmobile. 1 in 6 Hawaiian adults struggle to read and write.
#Not Stories#mutual aid#adult literacy#'uuhhhggg its soooo disappointing when i meet a girl who's like 'yeah omg i luv 2 read'#'and then she only reads booktok trash and grocery store thrillers and manga'#'like come on thats such a turn off :/'#'like aren't you bored??? what about reading The Foundation and War & Peace and Grapes of Wrath where's THAT girl haha'#nobody gives a shit what sort of high school reading list gets your dick stiff! NOBODY!#I'm too busy dealing with the fact that most public education systems hate students of color and anyone with a learning disability#from the very bottom of my very dyslexic heart go fuck yourself#'this chick only read 8 books in twelve months lmfao thats so pathetic'#'i read eight books a MONTH some people really give up after high school'#do you think my great grandfather or his father got to fucking finish high school????#or were they busy getting fucking shot at in germany in two different fucking wars????#thank every god you wanna name that my lunatic mother stopped abusing me long enough to put me through FIVE YEARS OF TUTORING#to get ME literate because that's what it fucking took#I watched more than one kid from my underserved semi rural district drop out at 17 or 16 or 15#because their parents needed a third paycheck or they were gonna lose the goddamn house#10% of my majority black school district graduated FUNCTIONALLY ILLITERATE and not an ounce of it was those kids' fault#our racist ass school district failed them and the district did NOT protect my white ass when I was diagnosed dyslexic#the adult literacy crisis is not about you getting a girlfriend who can discuss Ayn Rand with you#the adult literacy crisis is about us being exploited and neglected and made easier to control and manipulate#reading is FUCKING HARD and learning to read after the age of six is SO MUCH HARDER#so from the VERY very bottom of my VERY very dyslexic heart#FUCK. YOU.
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theres a thing that you always said and it is no words
redraw of a thing i drew when i was 14 except this redraw took 5000 years to finish (i started this in february)
#my art#jjba#jolyne cujoh#jolyne kujo#jotaro kujo#stone ocean spoilers#feels good to finally finish this thing#i always wanted to finish it bc the colors were so cool but i never got around to it#probably bc i was going too slow and precise on rendering#so i sped it up tonight and got it done in one sitting#only took me 8 months to finally get back to it BVBCBSNF#ig if you want to know what this wouldve looked like if i finished it in february just look at jolynes face and her bangs#bc. thats all i got rendered back then#cw blood#<- almost forgot#2023
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RANT
#hey boss#u uh- u said i was working sun n wed- can i have more consistent days so i have days to block out for interviews?#.#uve been forewarned#ok so its four months into my gap year and HOLY SHIT JOB SEARCHING IS SO FRUSTRATING#so im working as a clerk at this law firm mon and wed (only 8 hours total tho)#n i THOT i had my reatil job in the bag but then boss goes “yea im really sorry but i cant give u three days - only sundays and weds”#so i was like great ok i need another job thats cool ill just bliock out sundays and weds for potential employers#THEN on sat boss texts n goes “ahhh i dont need u till next week- also can u switch ur wed to fri”. ??????? MA'AM#so i go#she says sorry kid i dont WHICH IS FINE I APPRICIATE THE COMMUNICATION#so i have an interview the next day at a coffee shop for a time THE MANAGER OFFERED#i show up after having pit my day aside for this noon interview#i walk in employees go “uh ho manager stepped out”#she camnt come back for the rest of the day AND doesnt apologize in her email- just “unfourntallyyyy i didnt have time to check my email”#MAAM YOU SEND THE INVITE#whatever#luckily last friday i was invited to this job fair by like four diff locations in san fran n was immeditaly hired#(first trial shift tmr yay!)#but the commute is gonna be KILLER#however im hopeful n i love coffee so yay#also my pet sitting is taking off ive got two sits booked for october#which is suprising bc im also traveling for half the month#manchester edenbrough st andrews milan lake como babayyyyyyy#also this thursday im heading to chicago and maine for a wedding (yay go love!) and to tenessee for another wedding in jan#so now ive got law firm retail associate barista dog sitter n i just KNOW when the holidays roll around n both retail jobs will be wack ill#be floored#but. ahem anywats good things frustrating thinsg stressful things but GOD am i glad i took this gap year#oh yea and ive been hiking tones! lands end trail#tilden park
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Red red wiii iii iiinnnee. ..... ITS UP TO YOUU OUUU OUUUUUU.... all I can DO ive DONE...... memries won't goowhaoooo....MEMries wo oont gooooohh
#financially stable enough after being robbed of everything to buy myself wine and treats :)#only took 7 fucking months almost jfc#my stuff#i love the casillero del diablo cabernet sauvignon its soooooo good and only $8#got myself 2 bottles and a slice of cheese cake im am independant woman!!!!!
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#the older I get the more I’m floored by Charlie’s ability to do his job as he did while having a migraine issue#I have a congenital migraine disorder#and even though I haven’t had an attack in a while#when I took a train down to [redacted big city] to visit one of my best friends on Monday#I woke up a 1 am Tuesday morning thinking I’d had a stroke or something#because an entire side of my face wouldn’t move#then about 30 seconds later the burning pain and nausea came and I knew exactly what it was#which is how I spent the next 8 hour passed out on her bethroom and bedroom floor as every pain med we tried did nothing (my prescription#migraine meds stopped working about 4 months ago)#and then I. a 23 year old woman. had to call my mom at her work and ask her to send my dad the 3.5 hour drive to pick me up#I’ve been in bed ever since we got home#so the fact that he was not only able to work through that. but to never miss a show when he was the one playing a percussion instrument#and always sitting next to Keith’s (the loudest player’s) amps#is insane to me#no wonder Keith mentioned it in Life#it’s just entirely another level of dedication
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fuck you guys fuck everyone i’m employee of the month
#i work. fuckcjdbbdfnfj i work like fucking. at MOST. 8 days out of a month#this is so funny.#but also :)#‘our best friend rowan’ /)#i always sign off with hi it’s your best friend rowan am i good to skadoot orrrr#oh and it’s pride month? fuck yeah baby#i wanna go back in time to Rowan w a job at any point in my life and be like#check it out. you have a job. you work the partest of part time hours#at an art store (you’re an artist now btw) and you LIKE IT#you don’t DREAD going in. you like your bosses n coworkers#you’ve never had bad customer interactions and if anything have had extraordinarily sweet and fun ones#this is like. mind blowing for me. unprecedented. i’ve been working since i was newly 16#and only just got a job that literally does not make me want to kill myself#only took fifteen years !
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my "brain tumor" (pituitary adenoma) is GONE and I'm out of work for a whole ass 6 weeks!
healing's gonna be rough and it's gonna take a while to see more dramatic changes, but hopefully this is finally the beginning of the end of this bullshit caused by this little fucker.
#fuck cushings this shit sucks#fuck this tumor#crazy how something that's only 6mm (millimeters) big causes so much fucking craziness#and how it took 6 goddamn years for me to finally be referred to vanderbilt#and the endo doc at vandy took one look at me and listened and tested for cushings and whaddya fuckin know#6 years I've been begging my doctors in knox to help me and consider cushings.#less than a year with vandy and they got me diagnosed found the tumor on mri and removed it in 8 months#amazing what happens when you listen to your fucking patients#anyway#julie says shit#my pcp just called 'hey you've been in the hospital? you good?' yeah remember when yall said im just fat and it's just pcos? i told you so!#they owe me a proper apology dance.
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i love getting into things when they're about to end it's perfect. least amount of waiting for new stuff until completion but also getting to join in on the excitement of finales as they come it's great
#did this w brba and bcs. finished both shows in like a month with two episodes left for bcs#doing my best to do it w succy now bc i hear it's on its last season#did it w golden k too when i read like 300 chapters in a single day and then there was like a month's worth of chapters left b4 the end#i got into dungeon meshi really early on but stopped keeping up w it for a bit but now it seems like it's on its last-ish arc?#looks promising for my agenda!!#same w noragami got into it early stopped keeping up for a bit and now it seeeems like it's on its last arc#also w jjba part 8 i was binging all of jjba (i think it took me like a month to get to part 8) and perfect timing#part 8 was on its last arc by the time i caught up#what i'm noticing is that i binge a lot. these are healthy habits wrt reading and watching media i think.#one of my irl friends is super into one piece and i keep saying i'll read it for her but ONLY once it is finally on its last legs.#those bitches need to be like a nose hair's away from the one piece or whatever the fuck and then i'll finally start#hell i even got into mgs a few months before mgsv i think#contra.txt
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Found out I'm gonna get fired in a week how's y'all's day been :D
#my boss decided i was lazy because i kept falling asleep on overnight back when i was working every single day for 8 months#while simultaneously being Lucky if i got 3h sleep a night#so when my coworker took over the job of the part time guy who used to keep the cooler organized and turned into her full time job#and left me the responsibility of doing both My and her jobs clearly the only reason is because I'm lazy :)
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Honestly nothing is ever going to top the absolute Weirdness of putting in my 2 weeks notice, working thru one week of it, then my dad ending up in the hospital and me desperate to get my shift covered to go to him... and it was also a fucking *snow storm*, which meant an hour's drive took like. Something like 3 or 4 hours just to not fucking Crash. And then one evening at the hospital, then me staying up late chatting with a friend, so that when I got a frantic call from my dad's girlfriend at like 2 or 3 am I only got a half hour of sleep. Cue everyone in the house rushing to the hospital in the early am hours, but not TOO rushing, because it had, of course, SNOW STORMED, so the roads were still in Bad Shape.
Made it safely! Then watched my dad die. What a time.
#speculation nation#death ment/#like it was. obviously not a fun time in ANY regard. but it certainly was memorable.#the fact that i was halfway thru my 2 weeks notice for a job id worked a total of 8 years and had been considering quitting for Months...#the fact that *this day specifically* was a day with a huge snowstorm.#the fact that i got woken up with only a half hour of sleep.#but i wasnt sleepy. the addrenaline from when i realized it was my dad's girlfriend calling in the middle of the night. it was fucking wild.#ever feel like your heart is *pounding* but absolutely heavy with dread?#fingers trembling breaths coming too fast as you realize what this means. you realize it means your dad's about to die.#ive never gotten dressed so quick in my entire fucking life. didnt even brush my hair or put on a bra. it didnt matter.#the fact that this was only days after valentines day... i canceled my plans for it. me & my then-gf were gonna hang out that weekend.#the last normal day that my dad lived was on valentines day. then that night (in the early am hours) he drove himself to the hospital.#i heard about it later that day. on the 15th. we didnt think it was that serious.#early on the 16th is when it Was that serious. and thats when the fiasco with the snowstorm happened.#and then he died in the early am hours of the 17th. it took everyone by surprise. he didnt even know he was going to die.#i didnt even get to say goodbye. he was already unconscious by the time i got there.#i feel like something as big as the death of your father is going to remain in your head forever#but the fact that there were all these parts to it... the snowstorm... the job... valentines day... it's kind of crazy.#i was left reeling. my life suddenly so dramatically different. and with a newfound hatred for valentines day in my heart.#there are a lot of things i wish was different about it all. but it is what it is. and at the very least. it was memorable.#regular reminder and all to hold ur loved ones close as much as you can. because anyone can die at any time.#a central pillar to your life may die with barely a day's warning. many such cases.
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I don't know why I keep expecting people to be able to do their jobs but I am always proven wrong and I'm mildly having a full meltdown rn because I need documents sent very far away literally by the end of the month and based on when they said 1) the documents would be shipped (1-5 business days) and 2) the documents would be notarized (7-10 business days) it should have been done at least a full week ago but it's not and the document hasn't even been shipped to the notarization place and because I have nothing else to do at work right now and nothing to keep me distracted like I've been trying to hard to do for the past week I'm having a panic attack about this and I know I've called and emailed a combined five times already about this but I'm gonna have to call again to see where they're at because I don't think I'll last the weekend without some kind of update if I'm already having a panic attack today
#this shit keeps happening to me#people don't know how to do their fucking jobs#this is drudging up old shit now but#when i was 19 the therapist i worked with for a full year to get my top surgery letter of rec#moved to another state without saving a copy of my letter to my file so I had to find another therapist and start from scratch#the next therapist I worked with kept forgetting to send the LOR to the hospital so it took like six months to get to the hospital#I was finally placed on the waitlist only to find oht at my consultation that they put me on the wrong fucking waitlist#and I'd been scheduled with a surgeon who does bottom surgery and not top surgery#which even if I wanted I wouldn't have been able to get cause you need two letters for that#and the top surgerg waitlist is two years long and they said despite the fact that they fucked up they couldn't bump me up the list#and when i went to get my name changed it was supposed to take 4-6 weeks and I started calling after 8 weeks to see what was up#and for months I kept getting assholes who just told me to keep waiting#and when i finally got someone nice on the phone they told me it was rejected bc the judge couldn't read my handwriting#which I call bullshit on cause three separate people at thw courthouse read that document back to me just fine#but i had to go in person to get my records and resubmit my document#and it arrived later than they said it would and of course even though I had been checking the mail diligently every day for months#to make sure my parents didn't get the paperwork before I did#it arrived when I was on fucking vacation and my mom fucking got to it before me#and now bc of what I'm gonna be doing this upcoming school year it would be hard for me to keep working on my name change#when I absolutely could've gotten a large chunk of it done had it gotten done in that 4-6 week timeline months ago#and I'm losing my shit why does this keep happening why does everyone suck at their fucking job and why do I keep expecting them not to#anyway
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My normal schedule bs my schedule the second artfight starts :(
#not f/o related#im just frustrated bc ive been begging to be scheduled more hours for months now and sure i got it. but at the expense of not getting-#-to participate as much as i want to in a hobby. i havent worked 8 full hours a day in months and i’m very tired so.#today will be. fun. /s#edit: i forgot I WAS THE ONE WHO DECIDED TO TAKE A FRIDAY SHIFT BC NO ONE TOOK IT#Im so mad at myself now bc i only have one day off. and thats my fault.
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My ankle journey
I am sharing this with all you good people on the dash because I am so fucking mad it took so long for me to learn it and if I can spare one (1) person the agony it will be worth it.
So for like...oh, 8 or 9 months, I've been struggling with pain/inflammation/tendinitis in my left Achilles tendon. I don't know what caused it. It just started up (welcome to middle age, this shit happens). It wasn't severe enough to be debilitating, but it was annoying and limiting. It was also intermittent, in that some days it would be very painful and other days hardly at all. The kind of shoe I was wearing affected it a lot.
Now, I have bone spurs on both heels (it's just a thing that happens as you get older sometimes). I'm also aware that heel pain is usually the result of tight calf muscles that pull and irritate the tendon. I tried stretching that calf muscle. You know the stretch, this bitch right here:
I did it all the time. I also iced the ankle after walking for awhile, hoping to avoid inflammation. Results were...unsatisfying.
I went to:
A chiropractor
A podiatrist
A physical therapist
A bodywork coach
They all gave me some variation on the "strengthen your calf muscle, stretch your calf muscle" advice. I continued doing this without results.
I was getting frustrated, and a little afraid that this was just my life now. Finally, I thought...maybe some targeted massage might help. I asked for rec on a local FB site and was pointed to a woman who specializes in therapeutic massage including cupping, etc.
I went to her a week ago.
She spent over half our first session working on my left lower leg. Within about 10 minutes of making my eyes water, she uttered the sentence I did not know I had been waiting to hear:
"Oh, it's your soleus."
Excuse me, what?
"It's your soleus that's the culprit. It's all tied up and stiff." She started digging into it and I felt literal sparks run up my leg as she released adhesions and got the muscle moving a little. When she finally put the leg down, it felt like it was on fire with all the blood rushing into it.
She said, "You'll need to stretch your soleus. It'll clear up, but it'll take a bit of time - tendons take ages to heal."
But I HAVE been stretching.
"No, you haven't. The usual straight-leg calf stretch only stretches the gastrocnemius, that's the big belly muscle in your calf. That's not your problem. That stretch doesn't stretch the soleus. Don't worry, I'll show you how to stretch it."
My mind is spinning.
So here are the muscles in question:
The gastroc (as the pros call it) just attaches down the back but the soleus runs underneath it from the knee around the side to the heel. The lower part above the ankle is where it typically gets tight and forms adhesions.
To stretch it, you do the same calf thing where you put your foot back and press your heel to the ground, but you have to do it with your KNEE BENT:
The bent knee keeps the gastroc from engaging. It's one of those selfish muscles (like traps) - if you give it an inch, it'll just take over and prevent other muscles from working or stretching. There are other ways to stretch the soleus but this is the easiest and you can literally do it anywhere. I've been doing it while standing and waiting for things (the elevator to come, the toast to toast). You just put the heel back and bend the knee. It's kind of like curtseying.
The minute I did this stretch, I could FEEL where it was pulling on my tendon. I knew that THIS had been the problem.
The massage therapist also told me to stop icing my heel. She said icing is for an acute injury, but a more chronic aggravation needs heat, to increase blood flow for healing. She recommended elevation with heat every day (I've been doing it in bed during "phone before bed" time).
I have been doing the soleus stretch at least half a dozen times a day for almost a week, and the ankle is at least 70% better. It is still a little tight and tender, but the improvement is significant. I think a few more weeks will have it feeling normal.
I am...blown away by this. This massage therapist was able to pinpoint an issue in only a few minutes that eluded all the other professionals I saw. I can't wait to go back to her and have her solve all my other problems, tbh.
#massage therapy#soleus muscle#achilles tendon#bodywork#i am so mad i didn't go to her last winter#why did nobody else tell me this#physical therapy
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got to work 45 mins early this morning.. 😭
#i accidentally took the 'earlier' bus bc it was running late when it got to my stop so i thought it was my regular one..#but it made up the time so im 15-20 mins earlier than usual. oh well at least its warm in here#tbh this is a good find bc i didnt realise the bus before mine is only 15 mins earlier i thought it was 30 like it usually is#but i guess they have an extra one this time in the morning for ppl commuting... if i just leave the flat 15 mins earlier every day i-#can guarantee ill be at work by 8:30 which means i can claim an extra half hour of the work day + take a 4 day work week every month#>:)#i was considering doing that anyway w my normal commute time but i cant always reliably clock in by 8:30..#so just an extra 15 mins a day. and i effectively get 12 bonus days of holiday a year. not a bad deal!#aaanyway..#see yall at 5pm i guess..#.diaries
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FUNNIEST fucking shit that comes with making Danny eleven years old when he had his accident in "late at night, when the nightingale sings" is the implication following, that everything that happened in the show did too. And I fully intend on (mostly) keeping it like that. There'll be some changes (of which I need to figure out) but for the most part??? Yeah relatively the same.
Like I FULLY intend on keeping Dark Danny occurring 6 months post accident. Do you know how fucking HILARIOUS that is??? That Dan got his ass kicked by a goddamn FIFTH-SIXTH GRADER?? I'd never show my face ever again. Homeboy spent the last ten years being a one-man mass extinction event, only to get his ass beat by a kid who hasn't even lost his last baby tooth. That's hysterical. I'm losing my mind just thinking about it.
AND PARIAH DARK TOO. Imagine being an eons old tyrant capable of dragging whole towns down into your dimension, and you get singehandedly shoved back into your coffin in less than 48 hours by a kid whose bedtime is still 8:30. You didn't even have the time to expand your army! You were still trying to take over the city the kid came from!
And he just!!! Shoves you back in!! Insane! This kid hasn't even been dead for a full year yet! He's still growing in his ghost fangs! And he just knocked you flat on your ass in an oversized mech suit. What the fuck! It's like looking down and seeing a four week old kitten meowing very indignantly at you and trying to bite your feet, except that kitten is also actually a black-footed cat and they have a 60% kill success rate, and oops! Now you're dead. You took too long laughing at the kitten trying to attack you that it clawed up your pant leg and ripped out your throat.
COULD I, realistically, span these episodes out over the course of 2.5 years prior to Danny's family dying?? Yes I could! Do I think it's hilarious (and horribly traumatizing, which makes it twice as fun) to shove all of this into the span of (roughly) a year instead?? Yes. Because the show has such a skewed timeline that I've always just assumed that at the end of the show, Danny was starting his sophomore year in high school. So fuck it, lets go for it!
#dpxdc#danny fenton is not the ghost king#dp x dc#dpxdc crossover#dp x dc crossover#blood blossom au#my fic#danny fenton#danny phantom#if i REALLY want to get into it i'll have to look at the show's episode synopsis and pick and choose which episodes happen when in the year#maybe pull a scarlet lady and have some of the season 1 episodes happen further down the line instead. but i can do that later. for now#come laugh with me at the mental image of teeny 11 year old danny curbstomping ghosts twice is size and thrice his weight.#bruce is watching old footage from the phantom fights in amity and going 'HNN' in increasing concern. he's got his hands folded and his#chin in his hands and he's going (ಠ_ಠ) with his face and he has SO many questions and concerns. for many. many different reasons#first of all he's incredibly upset that danny had to go through this at all in the first place. like no kid should've gone thru this alone#but he. is also. very very softly. going *'what the fuck...'*
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