#it arrived when I was on fucking vacation and my mom fucking got to it before me

[bean-pronounced-bawn]

I don't know why I keep expecting people to be able to do their jobs but I am always proven wrong and I'm mildly having a full meltdown rn because I need documents sent very far away literally by the end of the month and based on when they said 1) the documents would be shipped (1-5 business days) and 2) the documents would be notarized (7-10 business days) it should have been done at least a full week ago but it's not and the document hasn't even been shipped to the notarization place and because I have nothing else to do at work right now and nothing to keep me distracted like I've been trying to hard to do for the past week I'm having a panic attack about this and I know I've called and emailed a combined five times already about this but I'm gonna have to call again to see where they're at because I don't think I'll last the weekend without some kind of update if I'm already having a panic attack today

[mintmatcha]

I so understand this would be so far off, but I’m imagining reader’s son being 13 and a couple months old, he’s cordial with Shinsou, for his mum, but he’s trying to come to terms with why his mum didn’t stay with his dad. Until monoma doesn’t show up for something and maybe one of his friends is like ‘hey, I’m really sorry your dad is always doing that. It must really suck’

‘My dad always shows up usually, just later. He’s busy.’ And the look of pity from his friend and it just CLICKS

Has to call his mum to pick him up and shinsou picks him up because maybe it’s late at night, and shinsou has always respected that he shouldn’t talk shit about monoma in front of your son, but when your son starts asking about things, about the lies and twisted truths monoma has told, shinsou won’t lie to him. Just gives him yes and no answers.

Monoma doesn’t understand why all of a sudden his son isn’t responding to his messages or answering his phone calls, and there’s no way he’s calling you to reveal to you that he’s no longer the golden father figure in your son’s eyes

I LOVE THIS IDEA AAA

I think, leading up to that, the more your son is angry at monoma, the more he's disrespectful of you. it's displaced, but he just can't bring himself to think that his dad is the problem.

the only time shinso has ever REALLY yelled at him was after school one day. monoma was supposed to come for his weekend, but it's shinso standing at the curb waiting for him.

"Whoa, that's your dad?" a friend asks. oh, he had been bragging all day that his pro hero dad was coming to take him on vacation and now he's face to face with the realization that he's not going anywhere.

"He is not my dad." There's so much angst and anger building up in his gut. you must have done something to piss his real dad off- it's always your fault when he doesn't arrive- "he's just some guy my mom whores around with."

Shinso's jaw flexes so tightly that he can see it from all the way from across the street. He uses his whole name, biting out every syllable with a barely restrained anger. your son trudges across the street with his pack dragging on the ground.

"Say that again." It's been years since he's thought Shinso was scary, but the cold grind of his voice makes him freeze. "Say it right here, to my face."

They both know he can't. He doesn't have the guts. Shinso bends over just a bit, bringing himself face to face.

"You do not have to respect me. You don't even have to like me." Shinso's voice breaks with the sheer volume he's using. your son looks back at his friends, who look equally horrified. "But you will not talk about your mother that way."

The man jabs a finger towards the school bag.

"And pick up your fucking bag." He's never cursed at your son before. "Your mom worked extra shifts to pay for that."

He had begged for this bag, the full leather one. it was expensive. too expensive to ask you for. It came as a holiday present with no name, so he had always assumed his dad was the one who bought it. Monoma is the one with money-- you're just a waitress. The scuffed bottom suddenly feels embarrassing.

Shinso hasn't stopped his ranting. "All she has ever done is loved you. Your whole life! All she's ever done! And I will not let you treat her the way your father treats her, got it?"

Your son doesn't reply.

"I said- did you fucking get that?"

His real dad never yells. No, he just laughs when he says things like that. Your son sniffs and slugs his bag over his shoulder. "Yeah. Whatever."

"And if you ever say that to your mother's face-" he can't finish the sentence. "Get walking."

[lucerothings1]

Rents due.

Pairing: Oscar Isaac and male reader

Warnings: gay smut, anal, oral, top Oscar bottom reader, sir and Mr. Kinks.

Summary: when your parents leave you with no way to pay the bill while they are gone you gotta get creative.

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“Honey you are okay we can buy another ticket” your mother had said to you as she was saying her goodbyes along with your father as they were getting ready to go to their trip.

“Mom I’m good really you both go and enjoy your cruise” you told her with a reassuring smile. “Okay then well be safe okay” she responded knowing she wern't going to win with you “Mhm I know be safe and let me know when y’all arrive” you yelled to them from he front door all the way to their car as they waved goodbye and where officially off for their three month vacation.

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“Knock! knock!” You heard at the front door as you got up from the couch and made your way up fixing yourself up only wearing the black short shorts your mother hated saying that there where to revealing so of course you wore them now that you were alone as you noticed it was your landlord “Hi Mr. Isaac what’s up” You greeted the man that as standing at the door “Hi y/n are your parents home” he asked “um no actually they are out of town for vacation um what did you need” you responded.

“Oh okay it’s just that rent was due a week ago and I’ve been trying to get a hold of your dad and mom but no response” he said “Yeah um come in let me check real quick if they have there check book here and I can get you that” you said opening the door to the man as he went inside as you closed the doors and you headed to their room.

“I’ll be back” you smiled at the man how just nodded back as you walked away feeling his eyes nearly burning a hole through you. “Okay so bad news I can’t find any check books whatsoever I think they must of took them” you said to him as you found him sitting on the couch in your living room now “oh oh don’t worry it’s fine I guess I can wait when are they coming back” he questioned “um bout that they aren’t coming back till in three months” you answered “Ohh okay and what they left you here all alone what if someone try’s to break in or something” he said getting up and crossing his arms with a teasing grin.

“Well you don’t gotta worry bout that Mr.issac and yeah I’m not much of a cruise guy but what about you Mr. Issac what are you up to” you said stepping closer as you stated to check him out and how his tight shirt hugged all the right places. “Not much these days just at home and work” he responded “That’s good and how’s Mrs. Issac doing” you asked looking at him more trying to still see if that grin was a flirt or just his face playing tricks.

“Um oh yeah no Mrs.Issac any more y/n” he responded with a smile "oh really what happened of it’s not to muchto ask” you asked “oh no your fine and just grew apart love stops and all but divorce feels nice now” he responded looking you up and down “Quick question y/n” Oscar asked “ yeah what’s up” “ how old are you” “ um I’m 21 yeah just turned last year” you said as you now returned the looks as you both looked eyes.

“Y/n do me a quick questain why so formal with the Mr.” he said whispering at your ear as he walked closer to you “ You know how I am Mr.Issac but I think I know how to pay that rent now” you said as you pushed him on to the wall and closed the gap between you both and started to make out with each other

“Mm how bout me go to my room” you moaned out as he darted to your neck sucking at it. “Nah I don’t think so” he said as he separated himself from your lips and pulled you onto his grasp and walked over to the couch. “Come here baby” he said sitting down and pulling you from your shorts down onto his lap as you took your place and sat as he took hold of your waist and started to attack your chest marking it all as you continued to tease as you rolled your hips starting to feel his hard on.

“Ah fuck baby come on slip these off” he said you as you later got up and stripped and he started to as well kicking off his shoes and throwing his shirt god knows where. “ I’ve got the rest” you said to him as he kept looking at you with his lust darkened eyes as you reached to unbuckle his pants “Nah uh use your mouth” he said lifting up his eyebrow as you grinned and complied and reached with your mouth as you started to suck through his jeans and leave a wet stain on his clothed cock.

“Hurry up boy wouldn’t want to get all rough with you just yet for teasing me” he breathed out as you obeyed and reached for the zipper pulling it down with your teeth as you then pulled down the remainder of the pants throwing them to the side now leaving him in just boxers. “Come on baby boy use that mouth of yours” he said grinning as his you looked at his cock twitching and leaving a stain on his boxers of precum.

“Fuck sir your cock is huge” you marveled “well come on then why don’t you taste it” Oscar whispered as you reached over pulling the boxers down as his hard on 9 inch and thick cock nearly almost the size of a beer bottle sprang free finally as it hit you on the face swinging back as you got ahold of it with its aching red tip basically calling you in as you opened your mouth and began tapping it on your tongue.

“Oh fuck yeah boy come on use that pretty throat of yours” Oscar moaned as he got ahold of your hair and pulled you down onto him. “Ah fuck yeah baby come on start slow” he said throwing his head back as he held a grip on your hair as you could see the pleasure on his face as you licked laps around his sensitive tip. “Oh fuck I’m sorry baby but I can’t wait” he breathed out as he tightened his grip and pushed you up and down on him as the room was now filled with the sounds of you gagging and his balls fitting your chin.

“Fuckk you like that boy you love my big fat cock don't you” he said to you as he pulled you up ftom his cock "Mhm" "Use your words" he gritted out his teeth slpping you "Yes Mr.Issac I love your cock" you obeyed with tery eyes and your red face. "yeah you do baby come on all fours" he told you with his hand to your chin as he closed the gap between the both as you let him.

"Okay thats enough go on" oscar sent you on your way as you stud up and got onto the couth on your hands and knees. "God look at that pretty hole just calling to me" oscar yelled laughing "Come and get it Mr. Isaac" you looked back at him with a grin as you wiggeld your ass at him. "Teasing now are we y/n but dont mind if I do" he responded kneeling down as you soon felt his hot breath near your entreance "Just look at it teasing me" oscar said as he went in for it as you felt his warm touge pushing in you.

"Oh god sir please don't ever stop" you moaned out dropping your face onto the couch as you begun to pull at your member for relive as he soon pushed even deeper and wrapped his arms around your thighs. "Yeah baby you like that here let me help" he said as he took your cock in one hand as he then pointed out his tounge as it entered you even more as he began fucking you with his glorios tounge "god i love it so much god your amazing" you responed.

"you wanna know something" he whispered as he got up and pulled you by your hair "what sir" "That if you think thats amazing i wonder what you'll think of my cock deep inside you" he said in a tone that had made you even more horny if possible "i cant wait" you breathed out as he grinned and kissed you pushing you back down as he went back to town on your hole and reviling your self.

"Mr. Issac I'm getting closer" you desperately moaned out "Oh no we cant have that juet yet baby" he moaned out removing his hand "Come on on your back i want to see that beautiful face of yours when im balls deep in you" he commanded as you gladly obayed as you were meet with the sight of oscar as he spit onto his fingers "Come on wide legs" he said tapping on your leg as you did what was told "I'm gonna put my fingers in okay" "Okay" you responded to him as you began to feel the presure as his fingers entered as he lost no time pulling in and out.

"that feel good" he askd "yeah not better then your touge though" you grinned "well something better is still to come" he responed "It really is" you said as two fingers then became three then four. "Okay your open enough" said quickly as he spat onto his hand again now reaching down word and stroking himself as he stood up a bit. "Is that actully gonna fit" you asked to him as he looked back at you and grinned "Oh trust me it'll fit and if not we'll make it fit" he said as he reached over and kissed you as he positioned himslf in bettween your legs as you bgan to feel the same presure from early just much more bigger "I'm going in okay" he moaned in bettween kisses keeping you distracted from the pain soon turned pleasure as you nodded in acknowledgement.

"Oh fuckk god your tight and warm baby boy" osacr moaned "Fuck your big" you moaned in responce "dose it hurt" he questioned "No god no i love it" you breathed out getting used to his size in you. "you can move now" you nodded out to him as he listened and began a slow pase of in an out "God baby just look at you taking me in so well" oscar moaned out as he was laser foucesd on his cock going in and not of you.

"Go faster sir" you begged "Your wish is my command baby" he replied as he speed up his pase causeing the room to be filled of moans of pleasure form both of you and sounds of skin slapping skin as he began to stroke your member and got to attaking your chest leaving more marks all over you as you grabed at his hair "Just lok at you baby" he said to you as he took your hand to your stomch "just feel what i do to you" he maoned into your ear as you could feel his cock go in an out of you causing you to have a visablebelly bulge "Oh fuck Mr.Issac Im close" you ylled as seeing that alone sent you over "Me to baby were do you want it" he asked "Inide me sir breed me please" you moaned out arching your back in "OH FUCKK I'MM CUMMINGG" you yelled out exploding on oscars hand and your chest "Me too baby boy" osacr moaned as he felt you tighten up around him taking over the edge as you felt him paint your insides white with his baby juice "fuck yeah boy take my cum" he panted as you both rode out your highs.

"fuck that was good" osacr said as he puleld him self up a bit while still inside you. "Coulden't agree more" you breathed out "how long are your parents away for again" he asked "three months why" "Oh no just gonna give me enough time to fuck you all the times i want" he smirked "Oh most defnitely" you said grabbing ahold of him kissing him again.

"So round two" he said in bettween kisses "hell yeah" you responded "Okay good now I want you to ride me" he grinned as he got you from your waist and flipped you both as to him now underneath you and you sitting onto of his lap which lead to you both like he had thought fucking all summer long and even after that sneaking behind of your parnets.

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[smileysuh]

ice cold, cabin fever - part 1

🌙 staring. Seungcheol & Mingyu x afab!Reader

🔮 preview. "come on, let’s just go back to snakes and ladders and you can pretend we’re not snowed in with no firewood and a dude you hate locked in the bathroom."

cw/ tw. threesome, daddy issues, mean/tsundere cheol, wet dreams, spanking, marking, dirty talk, choking, unprotected sex, pain kink, dacryphilia, breast play, praise, degradation, fingering, oral, hand job, blow job, multiple orgasms, overstim, edging, orgasm denial, manhandling, size kink, cumplay, finger sucking, spit roasting, hair pulling, voyeurism, I petnames. (hers) princess, bitch, whore, baby (s.coups) cheol, douche, dick, daddy (mingyu) gyu.

👹 rating. 18+ explicit I wc. 25.9k

🍭 aus. e2l, s2l, step brothers Jihan, non idol, ski resort, roomies, etc...

☀️ mlist + an. so when I tell you I know practically nothing about skiing... also, the recent soop episodes have been giving gyucheol and jihan and I'm dying. I other inspo: 🙂 🙂 🙂 I pls note. this fic has so much dialogue, it exceeds the number of paragraphs allowed in a tumblr post, so it will be split into 2 parts posted at the same time I read the whole thing in one post + the bonus by subscribing to my patreon and clicking here

Prologue: 

“You guys aren’t going to believe this,” Jeonghan says as he enters the main area of the flat he shares with his brother and two best friends.

Three sets of eyes turn to him, and it’s Joshua who takes a shot in the dark and asks, “Did you get chlamydia again?”

“Aish, fuck off,” Jeonghan picks up a pillow to launch at his brother, “I just got off the phone with mom you idiot.”

“Ouch, since when are you telling mommy about your STI results?” Seungcheol teases, earning himself a pillow as well, that he easily bats out of the air.

“Tell us,” Mingyu urges seriously, “what did your mom say?”

“Only that our new step-sister decided to join us for the destination wedding, super last minute,” Jeonghan explains, taking a seat next to the youngest and sweetest of his friends.

“Did your mom tell her that they already gave up the cabin?” Seungcheol’s heart drops to his stomach, thoughts of powdered snow and skiing swirling on the periphery of his mind.

“Fuck if I know,” Jeonghan shrugs. “She sounds like a bit of a bitch if I’m being honest- sorry Gyu, but it looks like you’ll be giving up your bed.”

“We’re sharing a cabin with her?” The maknae’s jaw drops.

“Well she’s definitely not staying with us,” Joshua stiffens in his seat, “I don’t know what weird step-sibling porn you’re into Gyu, but we’re not that kind of family.”

“Listen,” Seungcheol leans forward, eager to keep the peace, “none of us have met her before- but your mom really likes her dad- let’s just hope she’s as nice as he is… I really doubt she’s a bitch. If it comes down to it, I can give up my bed, there’s a pullout in the cabin too, right? We’ll make it work.”

The glances all four men exchange betray how unsure they all are, and Seungcheol only wishes he was as positive as he makes himself out to be. 

1: Thursday - Arrival

“Y/n! You made it!” your dad’s excitement should be contagious, but as you haul your suitcase into the lobby of the ski resort, you’re much too exhausted to mirror his attitude.

In fact, you’d bet you look exactly how you feel; done with this vacation before it’s even started.

Despite this, you accept the hug from your dad, trying to relax a little before he lets you go again. “Was your flight very long?”

“Too long,” you sigh, taking a deep breath before returning his question with “and you?”

“Too long,” your dad laughs. “But you can rest easy now, the hard part is over.”

Is it? 

“I’m so excited for you to meet Suelki,” he continues, “and her two sons.” 

“I’m excited too,” you really force a smile this time, trying your best to look sincere.

“Good,” your dad nods, beginning to lead you through the resort. “So listen, this trip is kind of like my honeymoon- so we really don’t expect to be seeing that much of you- Suelki and I have a suite in the actual hotel itself, but I think I mentioned to you over the phone that we booked two of the rustic cabins-”

“Yeah, you mentioned that,” your grip on your suitcase handle tightens.

“Because you originally said you wouldn’t be coming, we gave the second cabin up to Suelki’s boys’ roommates- and unfortunately, the entire resort is booked up this week, so we couldn’t get you your own room.”

“Right-” He’d mentioned something along these lines during your quick phonecall when you’d changed your mind about coming on the trip, and you’re eager to see what fix he has for this.

“Each cabin had a pullout though, so you’ll be staying in one of them, and whether it’s with Suelki’s boys’ or their friends, I really hope you use this trip to get to know your new step brothers.”

Your mouth feels dry, heart jittering in your chest at the concept of sharing a cabin for a week with two boys- 

“The wedding is on Saturday,” your dad and you have reached a door leading outside; icy air hits your face when he opens it. “And the cabins you’re looking for are the last two down this road here- cabin 6 and cabin 7. Just follow the string lights-”

“Are you-” you swallow. “You’re not going to take me out to where I’m staying?” You tighten your grip on your heavy luggage, eying the snowy path.

“Sorry darling, but your plane was late, and you’ve arrived at a bad time- Suelki and I have massages scheduled in-” he checks his watch, “ten minutes? I really have to go- but you’re a strong, capable girl, you’ll find the cabins no problem.”

This is exactly the type of behaviour from your father that you’re used to. 

Part of you had expected something to be different- you’d been hoping that the wedding jitters would make him more inclined to be compassionate to you- but it looks like he’s as intent on letting you go about it yourself as he’s ever been.

After your long flight, and now this- you’re really questioning if you should have come on this trip at all.

2: Thursday - Arrival

“Joshie, come look at this,” Jeonghan urges, holding his tea tighter while gazing out the small cabin window.

“What is it?” his brother sighs, putting down his book but remaining seated on the couch.

“Some girl is dragging her suitcase up the path.” 

He can’t help but snicker. With the road covered in snow for the winter season, accessing the cabins isn’t the easiest task in the world. 

Having been here before, the brothers had packed accordingly, and carrying their duffles had been substantially easier than the struggle Jeonghan is currently witnessing. 

“Oh shit.”

“What?” Now Joshua stands up.

“She’s coming to the door- shit-” Jeonghan pulls away from the window roughly, and hot liquid spills over the edge of his mug, making contact with his fingers. “Shit!” he shakes his hand out-

“Must be the step sister?” Joshua suggests, ignoring the elder man tending to his reddening skin. 

“Must be,” Jeonghan hisses, putting his tea down just as there’s a knock on the door.

The elder of the two takes a seat on the couch, pulling his hoodie sleeve down to cover his hand while Joshua answers the door. 

“Hi-” your voice carries into the small space, and Jeonghan silently urges Joshua to move to the side so he can get a better look at you. “Are you Jeonghan?”

“No, Joshua,” he shifts, allowing you to see into the cabin, “that’s Jeonghan.”

Jeonghan lifts his unharmed hand, wiggling his fingers at you and offering a smile. 

His eyes quickly take you in, assessing your cute outfit- and its lack of weather appropriateness. He finds himself stifling a laugh again, shaking his head to snap himself out of it before saying loudly, “Aren’t you going to let our new step-sister in?”

You look like a bunny entering a wolf’s den, and you stop just past the threshold, allowing the door to be closed behind you.

“I guess you guys know about the cabin situation?” Your first words aren’t something Jeonghan had particularly expected from you-

You’re much more forward than your appearance gives you credit for, and he begins to wonder if his little bunny has teeth. 

“Cabin situation?” Joshua comes to join Jeonghan on the couch, reaching for his book.

“Yeah-” you swallow, “I heard my cabin got given up to two of your friends?”

“Right, that cabin situation,” Jeonghan and Joshua exchange glances, and they leave space for you to continue.

“I was thinking,” you shift awkwardly on your feet, a chunk of snow shifts off your boot and onto the wood floor, “uh- you guys aren’t really going to make me share a cabin with two of your friends, right?” 

“What do you mean?” Joshua cocks his head, and Jeonghan leans back in his seat, enjoying the scene playing out in front of him.

“Just that-” you release a deep sigh. “Guys- I’m going to be honest, I’m really tired- is there no possible way one or even both of your friends could- I don’t know… crash in this cabin with you guys?”-  there’s a beat of silence, Jeonghan and Joshua exchange glances - “like, that’s a pullout couch, right? So- at least one could stay here-”

Joshua opens his mouth to respond, but Jeonghan places a hand on his knee to silence him, taking the lead in these new family negotiations; “You might be able to convince one of them to stay here,” he tells you, “but I doubt you’d be more comfortable alone with a strange man you’ve never met, than you would be having two.”

“I mean…” you look between your new step-siblings, “these guys are your friends, right? It’s not like they’re going to- erm… try anything?”

“You’re right,” Jeonghan nods sympathetically, “let’s go over there and you can see which one you prefer to spend a week alone with.”

You shift again, releasing a groan. “I know we just met- but I’ve gotta say, you’re a bit of an asshole, you know that?”

Jeonghan laughs.

“He’s right though,” Joshua sighs. “As unfortunate as it is that your cabin got given up, there’s no chance both of our friends are going to give up their beds to sleep on a pullout in here with us.” He stands up. “I saw you were struggling with your bag earlier- I’ll carry it for you, we can go to the next cabin over and discuss the situation with Cheol and Mingyu-”

“Thanks, but no thanks,” you open the door, holding your suitcase tightly, “I’m a big girl, I’ll handle this myself.”

The new brothers watch you leave the cabin, and then Joshua heads to the window, eyes following you as you trudge down the path back to the main road again. 

“Is she still struggling?” Jeonghan asks.

Joshua lets out something between a laugh and a sigh, then he nods. “She’s really struggling.”

3: Thursday - Arrival

“Is that your stomach growling?” Cheol groans, distracted from the Christmas film he’s watching for what must be the third time-

“I’m sorry-” Mingyu whines, hand rubbing his tummy in slow circles, “you know how I get when we go skiing-”

“Then eat more at dinner next time,” the elder man snaps, grabbing the remote to turn the sound up in the hopes it will drown out his friend’s stomach, “and make some ramen or something.”

“I’m too lazy, I can’t get up,” the large man sprawled on the couch groans, his voice switching to something more on the girly side when he says “oppa, make me ramen? We can have Netflix and ramen?”

“Aish-” Seungcheol reaches out to bat his friend’s foot.

Mingyu is the baby of their apartment back home, and all three of the men born in 95 try not to make a habit of indulging him in maknae privileges. In fact, Mingyu often ends up being the one who cooks and cleans, but Seungcheol will never admit that to anyone.

“Stop complaining and watch your movie,” Seungcheol urges, eyes returning to the screen, where Jim Carrey’s Grinch is having a similar meltdown to Mingyu’s.

A knock at the door stuns both men, their heads whipping towards the sound- then Mingyu is jumping off the couch, as if he wasn’t just claiming to be a lazy bum less than a minute ago. 

“Who is it?” Cheol groans, leaning back against the pillows, stretching his tired arms out in front of him. 

He’s never going to get through this movie if there keeps being distractions-

“Shh- it’s a girl-” Mingyu’s whispered response is another shock to Cheol’s system, and he suddenly finds himself sitting up in his seat.

“Well, answer the door!” he whispers back.

Mingyu follows through with the command, and a moment later he’s greeting you with a “Hello?”

“Uh, hi? Are you… Cheol?” 

“No,” Mingyu steps to the side, “he is.”

Seungcheol blinks at you, taking you in.

He’s definitely never met you before, so how is it you know his name- 

How is it you know the name that only his friends use?

“Then that makes you… Mingyu?” 

You’re not even looking at Seungcheol anymore, your eyes have slipped over him and returned to the large man in front of you faster than Cheol can even clock-

“That’s right,” Mingyu nods, then, “wait! You must be the step-sister!”

“That’s me,” you sigh. “The step-sister.”

“Come in,” Mingyu urges you, “and let me take your bag, I bet you’re tired from your flight-”

Seungcheol rolls his eyes, setting the remote down. It’s unlikely he’ll be returning to the movie anytime soon, and he supposes he should be friendly with you- despite his exhaustion from a long day on the slopes.

“Did you drag your suitcase all the way through the snow?” Mingyu asks, blatantly bewildered at your behavior. 

“Uh huh,” you nod, closing the door behind you and reaching down to take off your boots.

“No one helped you?” Mingyu’s tone makes the whole thing seem like blasphemy, and Cheol watches the way he fusses over you, setting your bag at the foot of his bed before rushing to help you take off your jacket-

“No one,” you confirm. “Joshua offered, but- I managed by myself, like always.”

“So you stopped at the other cabin first?” Seungcheol confirms, “Met Hannie and Josh-”

Your eyes meet, and then Seungcheol finds himself looking at your lips-

“Yeah,” you tear your gaze away, turning to Mingyu when you explain, “wanted to talk with them about bed arrangements first-”

“You can have mine,” Mingyu offers, flashing you an earnest smile.

“Really?” your eyes widen, and you look between the two men again. “You’re not uh… too big for it?”

Seungcheol feels like he’s been hit in the chest. 

If you’d had asked your question without looking directly at him, he might have been able to convince himself you weren’t insinuating anything- but it’s clear what you’re saying. It’s clear you’re clocking him as being smaller than his younger friend, clear you’re inadvertantly suggesting that as the shorter man - Cheol - should sleep on the couch.

A month ago, Cheol had suggested the very same thing, thinking you’d be some nice girl he could give his bed to.

But now? 

He wouldn’t give you his bed if your life depended on it. 

“It’s okay,” Mingyu is quick to assure you, “you can have my bed. Here, have a seat, we’re watching a Christmas movie-  did your flight serve you dinner? Are you hungry?”

“Starved,” you sigh, collapsing onto the couch, taking the corner Mingyu had inhabited earlier. 

“I’ll make us some ramen,” Mingyu tells you. “Ramen always goes well with Christmas movies.”

Seungcheol notes the way you smile at Mingyu’s words. 

He feels invisible, and most of all, bitter. He’s not happy about any of this, not the way you’d taken a hit at his pride, nor Mingyu’s new burst of energy and overly friendly demeanor.

Picking up the remote again, Seungcheol hits play, and he hopes nothing else sets him off tonight, or he just might explode.

4: Friday - morning

Waking up is slow at first, and then it hits you all at once. You sit up, clutching the quilt to cover your body while blinking away the last of your drowsiness, eyes acclimatizing to the soft glow of the room.

Sunlight is coming through the cabin shades, and you realize two things very quickly. First, that you’re alone, and second, that you’re not where you’d fallen asleep last night.

After settling in and eating your ramen, you’d gotten comfortable on the couch. The movie hadn’t truly captured your interest, and you’d begun to doze off with the intention of waking up when the film was complete to move to the bed- 

But you have no recollection of being woken up.

You hadn’t even had any dreams. You’d been so exhausted from a day of traveling that you’d blacked out, and now, you’re left with confusion and body aches.

Someone must have carried you to bed- 

You hope it was Mingyu.

When you look down, you see you’re still dressed in your travel outfit, so the first thing you decide to do is explore the small cabin and find the shower.

Part of you is grateful the men you’re rooming with allowed you to sleep. It makes finding a routine easier. You take your time in the shower, allowing yourself to relax a little, and you consider what your day might look like.

You guess the men are on the slopes, as the skis that had been propped next to the door when you’d arrived are gone, and you decide exercise might be exactly what you need.

Besides, you’re at a ski resort, skiing seems like an obvious choice- although you’re not quite sure how it will work, seeing as you haven’t brought your own equipment-

You begin looking around the cabin for a resort map- and you’re so busy looking in all the hard places you almost miss the glaringly obvious piece of paper resting on the coffee table under a set of keys. 

Your heart lurches in your chest. You pocket the keys and open the paper to find it’s the resort pamphlet you’ve been searching for. 

Along with a map of the mountain, someone has taken the time to circle cabin 7, draw a line to the main hotel, and circled another section, which has been labeled ‘ski rentals’ in handwriting that’s just barely legible. 

There’s no other writing to indicate which man has left this for you, so you decide to assume it’s Mingyu.

Cheol had barely talked to you last night. He’d given off cold vibes; a man with walls built up around him. 

You truly can’t imagine that the quiet, brooding man had stopped to write on a map and leave you keys.

And honestly? You don’t want to imagine it.

It’s much safer to identify one of your roommates as a tall, white knight, and the other as a dark entity you’ll have to suffer through for a week. 

It makes it easier to plan on ignoring Cheol. 

5: Friday - afternoon

Today is a good day for Seungcheol. 

He’d been worried that your arrival would mean babysitting duty, so when you’d slept in and he’d convinced Gyu to leave you be, he’d been nearly ecstatic. 

He’d clocked you as a non-skier the moment you’d arrived without the correct equipment, and despite his day job as a physical trainer, Cheol is not in the mood to be teaching anyone how to do anything.

No, he’s much happier taking the slopes with his best friend. 

Mingyu isn’t as adept with skis as Cheol is, but he’s good enough for the elder not to worry too much about him. 

After tackling a few of the harder slopes, the two men find themselves on a green run. 

It’s enjoyable to take the hill in an easy manner, crisscrossing down the incline, watching the powder fluff up and take air with each harsh turn-

The day is gorgeous-

And then Cheol spots you, and his mood drops instantly.

You’re a couple hundred feet down the mountain from he and Mingyu, and they both stop for a moment, battling the glare from the sun-

“Is that-”

“Y/n,” Seungcheol confirms with a sigh. “First the thing with her bags, now this- it’s like she’s never been to a ski resort before.”

“Maybe she hasn’t,” Mingyu cocks his head to the side, looking thoughtful for a moment. “We should go help her.”

Seungcheol scoffs. “You really think she wants our help?”

“It never hurts to offer,” the younger, more considerate man points out. “Besides, this is Jeonghan and Joshua’s new step-sister, we’re trying to be nice to her, right?”

With a sigh, Seungcheol agrees, and the two continue down the mountain, catching up to you easily. 

“Hello!” Mingyu calls out to you, in classic extroverted Mingyu fashion. This earns him a smile from you, and you stop your slow slope descent to chat.

“Hi Mingyu,” you say, pushing your hair out of your face and adjusting your hat.

You don’t say hello to Seungcheol, and he doesn’t greet you either.

“How’s your day going so far?” Mingyu asks. “Are you enjoying the fresh air?”

“Yeah- found some skis at the rental and I think I’m getting the hang of it,” you tell them, “wasn’t sure I’d be skiing much this trip but, well, here I am.”

“You slept in,” Seungcheol finds himself stating. “We weren’t sure we’d bump into you today.”

“Right…” you trail off, giving Seungcheol a quick once over before your eyes return to Mingyu, and an easy smile works its way across your face again, “Have you been skiing long? I mean, I get the feeling that I’m the only person on the trip who doesn’t have much experience with all of this- you guys all brought your own skis.”

“Yeah, we’re all big snow sports people,” Mingyu tells you. “Seungcheol was actually almost an olympic level snowboarder-”

“Really?” Now you’re looking at Seungcheol. Truly looking at him. “But… you brought skis?”

“He’d be much too fast on his board,” Mingyu grins. “Skis slow him down, make him level with the rest of us. But, he’s still pretty good at skiing too.”

“Could give you a few pointers if you want,” Seungcheol says, earnestly. 

He’d gotten a good look at what you were doing wrong before they approached you, and a few minor tweaks would have you skiing with the best of them-

“Erm, thanks, but no thanks, I think I’m good learning at my own pace for now.” 

He notes the way you avert your eyes, upper lip curling slightly with disdain. 

He should have never bothered to offer you help. 

Seungcheol takes a deep breath. “You two are probably more compatible for your level, and I want to do some harder runs. I’ll see you around.”

And with that, he leaves you and Mingyu, taking off down the mountain at a speed his friends can only dream of.

6: Friday - evening

It’s been a good day for Mingyu, and settling in for dinner with his friends is the perfect ending for it. They order half the menu, covering the table in all sorts of foods to try together, and it reminds him of their time in university. 

While Mingyu is younger than his friends, he’d entered their frat before they’d graduated, and the bond he has with his older hyungs is truly one born out of a shared love for food. 

“Try this,” Jeonghan insists, and Mingyu opens his mouth before he even gets a good look at what’s about to be fed to him. “It’s good right?”

Mingyu can only nod happily while munching, hand reaching for his beer.

“Where were you guys today?” Joshua asks, “we missed you on the slopes.”

“Did a couple of the harder ones,” Seungcheol responds while the maknae has his mouth full, “then bumped into your step-sister on the easier hill-”

“Oh?” This grabs both Jeonghan and Joshua’s attention. “She was skiing?”

“Badly,” Cheol leans back in his chair, sipping his beer.

“She wasn’t that bad,” Mingyu insists, swallowing his food so he can defend you. “I did a couple runs with her and she wasn’t that bad, really.”

The brothers exchange a glance that Mingyu can’t read. 

He’s always been jealous of how in tune Jeonghan and Joshua are. As ‘irish twins’ - siblings born within the same year - it’s like they can read each other’s minds, and Mingyu always feels like he’s missing some crucial part of the conversation.

“Did you guys sort out the bed situation?” Joshua asks, looking down at the steak he’s cutting. He gives off an air of nonchalance, but Mingyu can tell that this is a topic both brothers are interested in. 

“I think you mentioned giving up your bed when we talked about it a few months ago,” Jeonghan adds, “isn’t that right, Cheol?”

“That was before I met her.”

The brothers exchange a glance, and a smirk works its way onto Jeonghan’s face. “Looks like Gyu got the short end of the straw, huh?”

“I offered her my bed,” Mingyu insists. 

“But she fell asleep on the couch during our Christmas movie,” Seungcheol says smoothly. “I moved her to his bed, wasn’t going to let him off the hook that easy.”

“My neck is aching,” Mingyu groans, rubbing at it, “but it was worth it. I told her she could have my bed, so she had my bed.”

“He’s so eager to help her out,” Cheol teases, pushing at Mingyu’s shoulder. “When we saw her on the mountain earlier, she refused my help, but was more than happy to ski with him.”

Joshua and Jeonghan exchange a glance that has Mingyu rushing to assure them, “she’s your new step sister- I’m not trying anything, I just want to be friendly-”

“What was that?” Cheol leans closer, “I don’t think I heard you?”

“I said,” Mingyu raises his voice, “she’s their stepsister, and I’m not trying anything!” 

“Perfect, that’s exactly what I thought I heard,” Seungcheol grins, and then he’s looking at something over Mingyu’s shoulder. “Hey Y/N, you should join these three for dinner.”

“Uh…” 

Mingyu turns to find you standing there, and his skin heats with embarrassment. 

He’s pretty sure you’d just heard what he’d loudly said to his friends, and his skin tingles with regret, ears heating-

“Really,” Seungcheol stands, “take my seat, I was just leaving.”

“Where are you headed?” Jeonghan asks, more curious about his friend than his own step-sister.

“The pool.” Cheol grabs the jacket on the back of his chair. “Have some knots in my back, but nothing the hot tub jets can’t fix.”

For the second time today, Mingyu finds himself watching Cheol make a hasty retreat in order to avoid spending time with you. And for the second time today, Mingyu finds himself eagerly attempting to help you fit in, despite his oldest friend’s rejection of you.

“Come eat,” Mingyu urges, patting the newly empty seat next to him. 

“Are you guys sure? I can always eat alone-”

“Don’t be ridiculous,” Joshua laughs. “You’re one of us now, come sit.”

Mingyu is glad that your step brothers immediately start asking you questions, and for a little while, everything runs smoothly. 

Every minute he spends with you, he warms up more and more to your presence.

It’s obvious to him that yesterday, when you’d arrived, you’d been out of sorts after hours of traveling. Your temperament has improved drastically, and Mingyu finds himself laughing along with his friends at small jokes you make here and there.

The four of you spend a much longer time in the resort restaurant than Mingyu had expected, and it’s only when Jeonghan begins to yawn that you all decide it’s time to head back to your cabins.

The night is cold, but it’s not snowing, and your small group follows the poles of string lights diligently.

Jeonghan and Joshua pull off one stop earlier than your own, wishing you goodnight before heading into their cabin.

As you and Mingyu continue up the path, Mingyu finds you walking closer to him, and he’s surprised when you say “Thank you.”

“For what?”

“Carrying me to bed last night,” you respond, “and the map you left on the coffee table, the one with the ski rental circled.”

“Oh, uh…” Mingyu swallows thickly, “that actually wasn’t me. I think it’s Cheol who you have to be thanking.”

“Oh…” 

‘Oh’ is right.

7: Saturday - morning

When you wake up, you’re struck by two things. First, that you’re alone, as you were when you woke up yesterday. And second, that your father is getting married.

Your body aches when you sit up, muscles screaming at you for having the audacity to ski as long as you had with Mingyu, and you decide pretty quick that another attempt at the slopes is off the table.

You remember what Seungcheol had said yesterday, about the pool and the hott ub, and decide maybe he had the right idea about jets and sore muscles.

He can be an ass, but you suppose he uses his brain sometimes.

You change into your swimsuit, and make sure to layer yourself with comfy sweats and your parka, pool bag in hand before you set out to take on the weather. 

For the billionth time since arriving at this God forsaken cabin, you wish you’d gotten a room in the resort itself. It’s snowed over the night, but the path is somewhat cleared. Even so, the trek to the main hotel is difficult, and your muscles are even more tired when you arrive.

The resort is a ski destination, and you cross your fingers that most of its patrons are on the hills and not utilizing the various pools and saunas. 

Your wish comes true, and you’re pleased to see hardly anyone as you pass through the indoor pool to check out the outdoor areas, intent on having a hot tub to yourself-

As you’re walking along the pool deck, clutching your parka tight around your body, you notice someone swimming. 

He’s underwater, slicing through the pool like a professional swimmer. The glare from the overcast sky makes it impossible to get a great look at the athlete and you settle next to the hot tub, hoping to see more when he comes up for air. 

You’ve just taken off your parka and are wading into the hot tub when the swimmer stops at the edge of the pool. He’s in the shallows now, and he’s able to stand up, his back to you.

Droplets of water glisten down his back in the light, steam immediately beginning to lift off of his skin-

His shoulders and back look like they were crafted by the Gods, and the man runs a hand through his hair, shaking it out of his face.

You just wish he would turn to look at you, so you can see who you’re drooling over-

In no time at all, this wish is coming true, only, you wish it hadn’t, because the moment the gorgeous, well-muscled athlete turns to look at you, you’re locking eyes with your least favourite person on the mountain.

Seungcheol is as taken aback as you are for a moment.

He’d been reaching for the rail to pull himself out of the pool, but now, he’s simply frozen.

You’re practically gawking at each other, and you’re the first to break eye contact, clearing your throat and looking away.

You can feel your skin heating, and it’s not just from the hot tub, which you wish you could simply submerge yourself in and never come back up-

In the periphery of your vision, you see Seungcheol getting out of the pool, and it takes every ounce of self-restraint in your entire body not to turn and watch him.

Then, to your surprise, he gives you an excuse to look at him, calling out, “The wedding starts at four, don’t be late.”

Your jaw hits the hottub floor, and you watch Seungcheol practically run away from you.

It’s becoming an all too familiar sight. 

8: Saturday - afternoon

Sitting in his mother’s hotel room, watching her do the final touches on her wedding look, Joshua is struck with memories of the past.

There’d been many mornings growing up where he’d sat on the closed-lid toilet, watching her brush through her hair, sometimes braiding it, before taking him and Jeonghan to school.

In the quiet of their small apartment bathroom, nothing could come between them, not Jeonghan whining for whatever reason, nor the angry father who’d disappeared from the picture when the boys had turned ten.

To Joshua, the moment feels like peace, or at least, as close to it as he’s ever come.

He can tell, by the way his mom smiles when she looks at herself in the mirror, that she’s truly happy, and it’s all he’s ever wanted for her. 

The moment is fleeting, as Jeonghan enters the room and brings with him a certain level of chaos, the kind of windswept mayhem that follows him everywhere, like a moving storm.

“Booze?” The first word to come out of his mouth.

“In the fridge,” Joshua motions to the small cooler before asking his elder brother, “drinking already?”

“Just spent half an hour running all over and making sure everyone’s doing what they’re supposed to be doing,” Jeonghan sighs, bending down to retrieve a can of beer, cracking it open with nimble fingers.

“You wanted to be the best man,” Joshua points out.

For such a small wedding, consisting of only close family and a few friends, roles hadn’t been a necessity, but Joshua wasn’t aware that scrambling around to make sure people are in place would be necessary either.

“Y/N forgot her shoes at the cabin, so Mingyu ran to get them, but by the time he got there, Seungcheol had apparently realized the heels were needed, so he’d grabbed them- and somehow they’d missed each other in the lobby-” Jeonghan cuts off his own ramblings with a large sip of his drink. 

“Sounds like quite the goose chase,” their mother’s calm voice visibly settles the best man, who takes a seat next to his brother.

“You look amazing,” Jeonghan tells her, as sincere as Joshua’s ever seen him. “Our new step-sister’s dad is a lucky man.”

“Since when did you stop calling him by his name?” Seulki laughs, returning her gaze to the mirror, fixing her veil. “Looks like you’re both getting used to Y/N though, Joshua mentioned that you all had dinner last night. Is she settling in okay?”

“I think so,” Joshua says thoughtfully.

“Mingyu really likes her,” Jeonghan adds.

Joshua nods. “And we do too.”

Their mom gives them a knowing look. “How’s Seungcheol finding his cabinmate? Haven’t you both always said he’s a good judge of character?”

“He’s also a stubborn ass,” Jeonghan grins over the rim of his drink, “so we can’t really trust his opinions on her- besides, any time she’s around, he runs the other way. I doubt they’ve talked much.”

“That’s a shame,” Seulki frowns. “I bumped into her with Mingyu on the slopes yesterday, she seemed really lovely.”

“She is,” Joshua admits. He’d also enjoyed getting to know you last night over food and drinks.

“Well,” Seulki turns to her boys, “let’s just hope Seungcheol warms up to her, but we’ll put that to the side for now, we have a wedding to get to.”

9: Saturday - evening

The ceremony had gone exactly as planned. 

After the initial goose chase looking for your shoes, there’d only been one or two small details Jeonghan had been forced to attend to. But after it all, his mom had walked down the aisle, vows had been said, and Jeonghan had gained a father figure.

Standing at the alter next to his brother, Jeonghan had watched everything take place with a keen eye.

He’d been pleased to see the three couples invited - his aunt and uncle, and two of your father’s friends with their wives - sitting in the small venue with his roommates. And he’d been even more interested in watching his friends react throughout the service.

Mingyu had gotten teary-eyed the moment Seulki had begun her walk down the aisle, and even Seungcheol had torn his gaze from you for long enough to admire the dress.

When everything was said and done, the small party had moved to a secluded room off the main restaurant to have food, drinks and further celebration. Here, Jeonghan had again noticed Seungcheol’s affinity for having you in his line of sight.

“You know,” Jeonghan says, as he settles into the seat next to his brother, eyes fixed on his muscular friend by the small bar, “for a guy who runs away whenever y/n is around, he spends an awful lot of his time watching our step sister.”

Joshua chuckles, sipping his champagne. “You noticed that too, huh?”

“Hard not to,” Jeonghan grins, following Seungcheol’s gaze to where you’re clinging to Mingyu on the makeshift dance floor. “What do you think about those two?”

“I think Cheol better cut his losses now,” Joshua says, setting his drink down. 

“Really?” Jeonghan cocks his head, considering it all. “We’re only two days into this trip… a lot could happen before the week is done, don’t you think?”

“A lot could happen,” Joshua admits, “especially if someone like you decided to meddle.”

“I never meddle, only… help push things along.”

“In the direction you want it to go.”

“Touche,” Jeonghan lifts his champagne, gently clinking it against his brother’s discarded glass. 

“I think I’m going to go ask y/n to dance,” Joshua says, pushing his chair back and standing.

“Now who’s meddling?” Jeonghan laughs.

“Still only you.”

10: Sunday - morning

The couch had been uncomfortable on a normal night, so Mingyu supposes it’s his own fault that he wakes up aching after a night of drinking and dancing at the wedding.

Stretching his arms over his head, he tries to ease the tight muscles in his shoulders, but he’s unable to get comfortable again.

He lays there for a few minutes, watching you dance in your cute bridesmaid dress on the back of his eyelids. He’s not sure if it’s you, the dress, or the visual combined, but he knows he’s going to remember last night for many years to come.

When he finally sits up, Mingyu looks towards your bed, and he’s not shocked to find you still sleeping. This is the third day waking up in the same room as you, and Mingyu’s becoming accustomed to the fact that you sleep in longer than he does.

He’s becoming accustomed to your cute, unsuspecting, resting face.

It makes sleeping on the couch worth it, and his sore muscles are almost forgotten- until he has to stand up, and they scream at him again.

Cheol is sitting up in his bed, scrolling through his phone, and he looks up when Mingyu stretches his arms above his head to release his shoulder tension.

‘Did you sleep well?’ Cheol mouths at him.

The two have been scared to even whisper in the mornings - scared to wake you up - and have adopted this silent way of communicating. Mingyu nods quickly, pointing back at his hyung as if to say ‘and you?’

Another quick nod, plus a thumbs up, then Cheol makes the motion of a man shoveling food into his mouth and points to the door.

Mingyu holds up his hand, ‘give me five minutes’ and slowly begins to tiptoe to the bathroom, where he can have some water, fix his hair, and change into better clothes. 

It’s a routine they’ve gotten used to, and for the third day in a row, Mingyu prays that when he exits the bathroom, by some miracle, you’ll be awake and eager to join them in the resort restaurant for breakfast.

Mingyu and Seungcheol - quite predictably - end up weathering the early morning elements without you, and it’s on the snowy path that Mingyu tells Cheol “I think I’m going to skip skiing today.”

“Really?” Seungcheol’s shock is written all over his face.

Mingyu nods. “I feel bad that we’re always ditching y/n- and we mostly go on the slopes she can’t ski on, so… I figured, after breakfast, I'd stay behind at the cabin and wait till she wakes up, then see what she wants to do today.”

There’s a long pause, and then Seungcheol sighs. “I see how it is.”

“Hmm?”

“You also walked her home last night after the dinner. Hannie, Joshie and I stayed up drinking, you usually join, but instead, you walked y/n home.”

“We were both tired,” Mingyu defends himself. “Watched a bit of a movie, then fell asleep.”

“Is that all that happened?”

“What do you mean?”

“I mean… part of me wondered if I should have stayed on Jeonghan and Joshua’s couch last night, to give you privacy.”

Mingyu’s heart skips a beat in his chest, and he fumbles with the hood of his parka. “We didn’t- we aren’t-”

“You guys danced a lot last night, then you walked her home… if it’s not like that then… well, people might get the wrong idea.”

“Who’s people?” Mingyu nearly laughs. “It’s just us here- you think anyone really cared last night?”

“I guess not.” There’s a pause, then Seungcheol changes the topic, asking, “What do you think you’ll have for breakfast today?”

It’s then that Mingyu realizes, someone did care last night, and that someone, is Cheol. 

11: Sunday - afternoon

You’d been a little shocked to find Mingyu reading on the couch when you’d woken up from your long sleep, but when he’d explained to you that he’d stayed behind from skiing with friends to make sure you had a proper buddy for the day, your heart had melted.

After a slow start, the two of you had decided to rent some snow shoes and use the back slope trails, which is how you end up climbing one of the smaller mountains together.

“We’re almost at the top,” Mingyu tells you, pulling out the trail map provided by the resort. You try to catch your breath while he points to a spot on the paper. “I think we’re about here, so just-” he drags his finger up the green line, “this far to the top.”

“Are you sure?” you laugh, grasping onto his arm to pull yourself closer so you can get a good look at the map.

There’s a pause, then he shakes his head, “No. We could also be sort of lost.” 

“Don’t say that-” you grin, pushing at him, “you’ve been mostly using this map alright- I trust you, and your trail-following capabilities.”

“Maybe you shouldn’t though,” Mingyu insists. “Honestly, following maps is definitely Cheol’s thing. One time, we were on a road trip, and we were going down this road for half an hour before we had to pull over and he got to look at the map- we’d missed a turn and it set us back like two hours-”

“It’s easier to miss a highway turn than a trailhead,” you assure him. “Come on, we said we’d climb this small mountain, and then we can take the lift back down and finish our movie from last night at the cabin- just think about our nice, warm cabin-”

“Nice, warm cabin,” Mingyu nods, folding the map back up to put in the pocket of his parka. “Let’s go, we can do this.”

You watch the large, beautiful man pull away from you and continue your trajectory up, and you can’t help but smile, echoing the sentiment, “we can do this.” 

12: Sunday - evening

Seungcheol had been surprised to find the cabin empty after skiing, and he’d been even more surprised when he went to the restaurant to find you and Mingyu not there either. 

However, he does find Jeonghan, who informs him that he’d seen you and Mingyu getting snow shoes a few hours ago, and Seungcheol’s heart sinks.

There’s a storm coming, and darkness has already begun to settle in across the resort- 

He hopes, for both your sakes, that you’re not on the top of the mountain, lost in the trails, when the worst of the winter weather hits.

After waiting diligently for his meal order to come through, Seungcheol ends up trekking back to your cabin with food and firewood in hand just as the snow begins to get heavier.

The last thing he expects when he enters your lodging, is to find you sitting there with a minty green facemask on, and for a second, he stands in the doorway just staring at you.

You break eye contact first, calling out “Cheol’s back!” and a moment later, Mingyu comes out of the bathroom, mid-facemask application.

“Cheol!” Mingyu beams, rubbing the green goo against his cheek, “you’re back from skiing!”

“I was back earlier-” Seungcheol closes the door behind him, “stopped here for a bit but you guys weren’t around.”

“We just got back from a snowshoe hike like, twenty minutes ago?” Mingyu tells him, looking at you for confirmation. Seungcheol watches the way you nod at Mingyu, and his friend lights up. This time, when he says “twenty minutes ago,” he says it with confidence.

“Well, I brought food and firewood,” Seungcheol sighs, kicking off his snow boots and entering the small space.

“Firewood?” You’re looking at him again, and Seungcheol can’t find it within himself to meet your eyes while you’re green in the face like this, so instead, he sets the food down and moves to the small cast iron fireplace in the corner.

“Did you think this cabin heats itself?” The question comes out much snarkier than he’d intended, and he regrets it as he begins to build the fire.

“No- I mean, I noticed it was cold when we got in twenty minutes ago- but I don’t know, I sort of assumed that maybe hotel staff would bring the wood and keep the embers going-”

Seungcheol scoffs. Of course another good deed of his would go unappreciated. 

“It’s plausible!” you try to insist.

“I never said anything.”

“You scoffed, you went like-” you mimic the throaty annoyed sound he’d made, “you went like that, a scoff- you scoffed at me!”

“Here’s your dinner,” Seungcheol pushes the bag of takeout towards you across the floor, eyes fixed on the fire he’s still building.

“What if I don’t want your food? What if I want to finish with this mask and go grab food for myself?” 

Seungcheol sighs again. “There’s literally a storm coming in- if you go out, you’re going to get windswept away- just eat the food I brought.”

“What if I don’t like the food you brought?” you insist again, and Seungcheol’s getting real tired of your bratty stubbornness. 

“You will, it’s what you’ve been eating for two nights in a row.”

This finally gets you to open the bag he’d brought, and you remove the three takeout items, eying them. “How did you know I like this?”

“Like I said- you’ve eaten it two nights in a row.”

“Why were you watching?”

“Oh my god,” Seungcheol groans, running a hand through his hair. “Just say thank you and eat your fucking food while I make this fire so you don’t freeze to death- why does everything have to be so hard with you?”

There’s a long pause, and he hears the sound of a food container opening. 

He’s thankful you’ve finally shut up and are going to eat.

“Even without the fire- this cabin is well insulated enough that we wouldn’t die,” you say after a moment. “The hotel wouldn’t be able to have a cabin where its renters could just die.”

If he hadn’t just lit the fire, Seungcheol might have considered allowing you to test your theory out of spite.

“You always need to have the last word, don’t you, brat?” He stands up, dusting his hands off on his pants before turning to look at you.

You open your mouth to respond- but quickly shrink under his hard gaze.

A moment later, you pick up the remote, and a movie begins to play.

At least in this, Cheol’s gotten the last laugh. 

13: Monday - morning

“Fuck-” Jeonghan’s cursing does more to wake Joshua up than the knock at their cabin door had, and the younger irish twin goes to cover his ears while Jeonghan stumbles out of bed.

“Who is it?” Joshua groans, giving in and sitting up, squinting at the door that his brother throws open to reveal their eldest friend.

“Are you two really still sleeping?” Seungcheol pushes into the cabin, throwing his gloves down before gruffly kicking off his boots.

“What time is it?” Jeonghan asks, rubbing at his eyes and groaning before running back to nosedive into his bed.

“Late enough that you should both be awake.”

“Y/n’s not awake,” Jeonghan insists, tucking himself back under the covers, “and I don’t see Mingyu anywhere- why do they get a free pass from your bitching but we don’t?”

“Because they’re not my ski buddies today,” Seungcheol says smoothly. “Seriously, what’s up with you two- and why is it so cold in here?”

They all look towards the castiron fire place, and the emptiness of it gives Joshua a chill that he feels tingling through his entire body.

“We thought we had enough firewood to carry us over from the evening and into the night, so neither of us picked up any dry wood from the hotel yesterday-” Joshua begins to explain.

“Evidently you both ran out,” Cheol concludes, scanning the rest of the small space with his precise, all-knowing, eyes. His gaze lingers on the bottle of fireball on the coffee table. “Instead of running to get more wood, you guys took to drinking, huh?”

“It’s not like we were going to cuddle,” Jeonghan groans.

“So you’re both hung over.”

“Just a little,” Joshua sighs, swinging his legs out of his bed. “Give us half an hour and I can be up.”

“It’s funny,” Cheol says, moving to sit on the couch, “I just had a fight with your step-sister last night about whether we’d freeze to death if we forgot firewood- and at the same time, you guys were over here, resorting to fireball instead of an actual fire-”

“It’s not like we could go out and grab wood once we realized we didn’t have enough,” Jeonghan defends himself. “The storm was really bad.”

“And it’s going to be bad for the next few days,” Seungcheol tells them, “so you better get used to grabbing firewood every evening after dinner.”

Both of his friends groan. “Sure, dad,” Jeonghan buries his head in his pillows. “You know what? If you’re going to be like this, maybe I’ll sleep in and not be your ski buddy today.”  

“Mingyu ditched me yesterday, and now you’re ditching me today-” Seungcheol clicks his tongue, “am I really being that much of a dick this vacation?”

It’s Joshua who responds, pointing out, as thoughtfully as he can; “you have been more of a dick than usual.” 

To which Seungcheol replies, “Yeah, well, you guys have been pissing me off more than usual.” 

Except, Joshua knows it’s not necessarily he and Jeonghan who have been pushing Seungcheol’s buttons this trip- but he keeps that to himself. 

14: Monday - afternoon

After skipping out on skiing with his friend and brother, Jeonghan had gotten some much-needed rest. Then, around lunchtime, he’d left his cabin in search of food only to bump into you and Mingyu doing the same thing.

As if that wasn’t coincidence enough, when your odd trio had entered the resort restaurant, you’d found Joshua and Seungcheol midway through their own meals.

Jeonghan had insisted you all join together, fully intending to meddle with you and your cabin mates. After all, he’d just gotten some sleep, and his mischievous mind was eager to stir the pot.

To his disappointment, the seating arrangements make poking people’s buttons difficult- with Cheol all but ignoring you from his vantage point as far from you as possible.

Despite the less-than-ideal format of your table, Jeonghan still finds a way to draw everyone into the conversation when he states, “so I heard there was a fight over cabin temperature last night.”

This earns Jeonghan a rough kick under the table from Cheol, as well as a harsh look from you. 

“Who said that?” you ask.

“Cheol did,” Jeonghan smiles through the pain in his shin, and this time, when Cheol goes to kick him, a quick movement of his leg has him narrowly avoiding his friend’s boot. “This morning, when he came to pick of Joshie for skiing.”

“It wasn’t a fight,” you go to insist, but the harsh glare you send Seungcheol’s way has Jeonghan nearly laughing.

“Definitely not a fight,” Mingyu confirms, and Jeonghan almost feels bad for the way he’s sat between you and Seungcheol. A man caught between two stormy personalities ready for a clash.

“If it makes you feel any better,” Jeonghan says, “we ran out of wood last night, and we didn’t die.”

You sigh, leaning back in your chair. “Well, that’s good to know.” 

“Y/n was saying last night,” Mingyu adds, “that she doubted we’d die without wood- hotel regulations and everything-”

“Was Cheol insisting you’d die without a fire?” Joshua’s eyes have widened, and he leans in, elbows on the table next to Jeonghan’s food. “Cheol? Really?” 

“He was just being dramatic,” you say, and Jeonghan watches the way his friend’s ears turn red at your statement.

“Says the girl who was going to go out in the storm instead of eating the food I brought for her.” Seungcheol crosses his arms over his chest, and a muscle feathers in his jaw. He’s glaring at his plate, and a thick tension blankets the table.

Jeonghan loves it.

But then something happens that he couldn’t possibly predict: your parents enter the restaurant, and before he knows it, you’re hopping up to go say hello to Seulki and your father, leaving the men to deal with the unresolved tension.

“Are you trying to start something?” Seungcheol whispers angrily as soon as you’re out of earshot, his angry gaze fixed on Jeonghan.

“Who, me?” Jeonghan touches his chest, pretending to be the most innocent person in the room. “I was just looking for conversation. Besides, we’re the one’s who forgot firewood last night, it’s quite embarrassing for us.”

“You don’t look embarrassed,” Seungcheol notes, sitting back in his chair.

“He has no shame,” Mingyu adds, nodding sympathetically.

“You’re right, I don’t,” Jeonghan’s grin widens, and he looks over Seungcheol’s shoulder to see you leaving the restaurant. “Now that it’s just us, I suppose I should be a good big brother and figure out which one of you intends to fuck my new step-sister.”

Mingyu had been taking a sip of his drink, and now he’s choking, which only adds to Jeonghan’s delight. 

“Jeonghan,” Joshua’s harsh warning bounces off the elder brother, whose smile is becoming something akin to the Cheshire Cat’s.

“Neither of us are going for your stupid step-sister,” Seungcheol growls, thumping Mingyu on the back to aid with the water caught in his lungs.

“Oh, so you’re both in denial?” Jeonghan’s eyes widen. “I’d thought at least Mingyu would fess  up.”

“Fess up to what?” Mingyu says between coughs. “I’m just being nice to her!”

Jeonghan nods. “Sure you are.”

“Why do you all think I want to fuck your stepsister?!” Mingyu whisper screams at his friends, doing a quick look around the restaurant before adding, “you guys are all horrible.”

“Cheol’s been bugging you about this too, huh?” It’s one of the first things Joshua’s really said, and Jeonghan realizes his brother is right. 

“Bet he had a lot to say about the way you danced with our sister at the wedding.”

“Were you all watching that?!” Mingyu’s eyes have widened. 

“It was quite the spectacle,” Jeonghan plays with his glass of water. “Cheol was jealous.”

“What!?” This time, when Seungcheol misses Jeonghan’s shin with his foot, the whole table shakes from impact along the underside of it. “Was not! I didn’t even dance with her- how could I be jealous when I never even danced with your stupid sister-”

“Stop calling her stupid,” Joshua’s harsh tone is a surprise to everyone, and the table goes quiet. “Just because you’re in denial about everything doesn’t mean you get to call our new sister stupid.”

“Someone’s taking their older brother role a little seriously-” Seungcheol lets out a whistle.

“Deflect all you want,” Joshua sighs, “Change the topic and make fun of me, but at the end of the day, you’re only making things harder on yourself… both of you.”

For a moment, both Seungcheol and Mingyu are put on the spot, then Seungcheol insists, “We’re not doing anything.”

“And denial is a river in Egypt,” Joshua sighs, shocking the whole table with a pop culture quote- something that’s very unlike him. “Cheol, you’re done eating, let’s leave these two and get a few more runs in before the storm makes skiing impossible.” 

15: Monday - evening

Sitting on the floor with your roommates, roasting marshmallows on the fire while the storm rages outside, you find yourself noticing all the small details about them both.

It’s the first night that you’ve actually allowed yourself to take a breath and relax, accepting that, with the extreme weather, there is really nothing else that can be done except to work on enjoying your company.

Mingyu is easy, as you’ve grown accustomed to having him around. You’ve gotten used to his large form, the clumsiness and easy smiles.

Seungcheol, on the other hand, is something you’re newly exploring, sneaking glances at his side profile whenever you think he’s fully distracted in his marshmallow making.

Unlike Mingyu, who thrusts his treat into the fire and watches it burn, Seungcheol is meticulous about his food, preferring a spot where his marshmallow can slowly turn golden near the embers.

He’s got a pretty side profile, and there’s a stubborn set to his jaw when he focuses, eyes fixed on flames that light his face in pretty hues. 

His nose is also quite striking, and along with his strong brow, his face is altogether quite attractive, something you’ve been fighting yourself on since the moment you entered the cabin and he’d been cold to you.

There’s something about the duality of him that has your heart racing whenever he’s around. 

You’re never sure which Cheol you’re going to get.

You’ve had glimpses of his softer side, especially on your first day when he’d carried you to bed and then left you a map- then there’d been the way he brought you your dress shoes after you’d forgotten to pack them and trekked to the hotel in snow boots on the day of the wedding-

It seems as if Seungcheol is the kind of man who likes to do nice things for you when you’re not watching, but after your small altercation last night, wherein you’d realized he’s also been doing fire duty, you’ve made more of an attempt to notice small things.

 Small things like the way he takes the perfect golden marshmallow out of the fire, places it between two chocolate graham crackers, and hands it to you without a word, giving you the best s’more of the night.

He balances his kindness to you by offering Mingyu the s’more after, and you think he must be doing it as if to say ‘you’re not special, I’ll share with everyone’ but you can’t help but think there might be more to it. 

To your surprise, Mingyu is the first of the three of you to get sleepy, and after a quick washup in the bathroom, he’s collapsing onto the couch and falling asleep. 

For the first time since arriving at the cabin, you find yourself truly alone with Seungcheol, no big, human buffer to keep you both in line.

The silence is thick. Even so, in the quiet, Seungcheol gives you wide birth to go wash your face and brush your teeth while he cleans up the few items from your s’mores.

There’s hardly anything to be said, and the two of you find yourselves getting into your own beds in no time at all.

“Turning off the light,” Seungcheol tells you, hand reaching for the lamp chord. 

He pauses, waiting for your curt “okay” before following through with his statement of intent, and the room is captured in darkness.

The wind howls outside, drowning out any sounds of your roommates breathing, and for a little while, you can almost pretend you’re alone. 

Almost. 

In the dark, your mind begins to have all sorts of thoughts, and you surprise yourself when words slip out of you; “I’m sorry for calling you dramatic today.”

The air feels thick and heavy, a few beats of silence passing that almost convince you Seungcheol’s asleep, but then, he responds. “I’m sorry for referring to our disagreement last night as ‘a fight’ when I talked to Jeonghan this morning.” 

“It’s okay,” you say quietly. 

For a short while, you think nothing else is going to be said, but then; “Goodnight y/n.”

You take a breath, wrapping yourself tighter in your blankets. “Goodnight, Cheol.” 

CONTINUE READING PART 2 HERE I note. the fic was too long to be posted in one tumblr post 🤪

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[jo6hny]

 She got my heartbeat. Skipping down 16th Avenue - Hazel Callahan

Pairing: College student! Hazel Callahan x College student! Reader 

Contains: fluff, hazel being woozy from meds, mentions of beating PJ up (i love her this was for the plot), somewhat idiots very in love, kissing!!!  

Summary: Based on this request.

Word Count: 2.3K

A/N: yay i managed to post this week! Onto the next request. Also, let me know if you’d like to be tagged onto future Hazel oneshots :) ! 

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“What the fuck happened?!” You exclaimed, barging into Hazel’s hospital room. 

Sylvie and the rest of the girls were there by her bedside, earnestly looking after the injured girl. They give you a look of pity and guilt. Everyone knew how protective you could get of your best friend. 

“Pretty girl, hello!” Hazel slurred, jolting upwards into a sitting position. Her heart rate monitor was spiking. She had taken several medications for her injuries and it made her loopy and out of her mind most of the time. 

Sylvie gently pushes her back down and interrupts Hazel. “Hey, she kind of got into a fight.” 

“Kind of?” You interject, your arms flailing in panic. Hazel looked like shit. Her lip was busted and her eye swollen. To add to this, her face had been colored purple and blue from several bruises around her face. The sight of her made your heartache and made you want to coddle the brunette. 

“We’re sorry this happened,” Isabel started, making her way to you. “It’s just that PJ and Josie tricked all of us into the fight club and Hazel had to fight the big guy. It’s a super long story.” 

“I’m gonna fucking kill PJ.” You muttered, feeling your eye twitch and your blood boil. You had never liked her, she had always left a bad taste in your mouth. It baffled you why Hazel always spoke so highly of her. Josie, you could get it. She was nice albeit awkward but she was never mean spirited like PJ was. 

“Noo not good, pretty. Bad.” Hazel interrupted. Even in her disheveled state she was defending PJ. It stung and you felt a sense of dejection. But you pushed it aside as you realize that you needed to step up and take care of her because no one else will. Hazel’s mom was vacationing god knows where and her dad was out of the picture a long time ago. She only had you. 

Making your way to her, the girls parted and offered you a seat beside her hospital bed. You had noticed that her heart rate monitor was incredibly high but figured that it was the leftover adrenaline from what ensued. 

“Hey Haze,” You whisper, voice cracking. “I’m gonna get you home, okay?” 

“Pretty girl going to take care ‘me?” She asked, she was slurring her words and it came out kind of whiny. 

A shy smile spread across your face. She had never called you pretty girl before. Sure, she was never shy of compliments but never outright like this. It made you wonder if there were truth to her words. 

You nodded, taking her hand. “Of course, Haze.” 

“Dude your heart rate keeps going up, I’m gonna call a nurse.” Sylvie observed, taking Isabel with her to get someone. She was genuinely concerned for Hazel, her heart rate kept going up especially when you came around which she found weird. 

“‘M face hurts.” Hazel said. Her breathing was shallow and she could barely open one eye. 

“I’m so sorry this happened to you, Haze.” You replied, rubbing her hand with your thumb. This was something you often did whenever you were nervous or apologetic. In return, Hazel would squeeze yours back three times as if to say it’s okay. At least that’s what you thought. 

The girls came back to the room with the nurse they found to assist Hazel. She was tall and looked kind. Almost reminiscent of Hazel’s mom without the flashy jewelry and short hair. 

“You say her heart rate was spiking?” The nurse asked, closely looking at her heart rate monitor. 

Sylvie nodded and pointed to you. “Yeah it started going up when she arrived.” 

The nurse looked at you with curiosity in her eyes and then she spotted your interlocked hands. The tips of her mouth perked up and her gaze glinted with mischief. 

“Huh,” She started, looking at you with a teasing gaze. “Must be leftover adrenaline from the fight.” 

“That’s what I thought so too.” You replied, feeling confident in your answer. It didn’t cross your mind to think that she might be hinting at something else. Why would she? She was a stranger and friends held hands all the time. Though, your heart rate definitely didn’t feel fast whenever you're holding other people’s hands, only with Hazel. 

“Sure.” The nurse said, turning her back from you. Her tone was sarcastic and it baffled you. But you brushed it aside, choosing to put your attention to Hazel instead. 

After some more checking, the nurse ruled out anything dangerous but told Hazel to be careful. And as her primary caretaker, you took it upon yourself to talk to the Nurse too. Just to find out what to do and when you could take your bestfriend home. The lady was nice enough to supply all the correct answers but not without sly remarks about “taking good care of your girlfriend”. Whatever that meant. Finally, she told you that Hazel would be able to go home tomorrow which gave you relief. It was gonna be hard work but you weren’t complaining as it was Hazel you were pouring your care onto. 

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Back at your dorm, Hazel occupies her side of the room and is slumped against her bed. Despite her wounds healing, she hadn’t been quite active; not like herself at all. You’d blamed the meds that the doctor prescribed, as well as the bruise the altercation might have left on her ego. 

“You look really pretty today.” Hazel said, complimenting you. This was her 10th compliment of the day and she didn’t show any signs of stopping. Again, something you blamed the meds on. She was all loopy and hallucinating. You didn’t look pretty at all today, body adorned with just a regular hoodie and sweatpants. 

“Mhm, sure Haze. Thank you.” You reply, sitting on her bed and taking out the supplies needed to tend to her wounds. 

Facing her, you inch closer towards your best friend and take a good look before reaching for her bruise medication. Her face still looked splotchy because of the bruises, but certainly better. 

“Thank you for taking care of me, I owe you a lot, pretty.” she mumbled, her one non swollen eye looking at you with affection. Hazel might have been on medication but she meant every compliment that came out of her mouth. In a way she was glad for it because it enables her to voice out her thoughts about you. 

“It’s okay. I would take care of you any day.” You reassure her, giving her a smile. It still breaks your heart whenever you recall what happened to her. She deserved so much better, especially after you learned about the argument her and PJ had prior to the fight. You wanted to beat the shit out of PJ so bad but restrained yourself because you knew that Hazel wouldn’t forgive you. But still, you can’t help but glare and stick your middle finger up at her whenever you pass each other by at the halls. 

“I’m gonna beat PJ up as payback for what happened to you, I swear to god.” You added, your voice was shaky. 

“Don’t.” Hazel replied, taking your hand in hers. She did it again, squeezed your hand thrice. It made your heart flutter. But at the same time, it saddened you how much she defended PJ. 

“Don’t defend her, Haze. She’s the reason you got hurt.” You reply defensively, intertwining your hand with hers. If you had a heart rate monitor at home, Hazel’s would have skyrocketed right now. She was praying that her pulse didn’t give anything away but you seemed to be distracted by the hate you had for her friend. 

“I’m not,” She started, staring her one eye at you. “It’s just that you’re too good for that, beautiful.” 

“Stop that.” You whisper, avoiding eye contact. You decide to distract yourself by opening up the treatment for her bruises and applying it onto her. 

“Stop what?” 

“You know, complimenting me. You��re too loopy from the meds.”

Hazel shakes her head, interrupting you from treating her wound. “That’s not true.” 

“Yes it is. I mean, you have been doing the same since the hospital.” You retort, trying to evade Hazel’s attempt at knocking at your heart. It wasn’t working, of course. Her admittance of her affection for you made you feel loopy. 

“It might have started at the hospital but it doesn’t mean that it isn’t true. I do think you’re beautiful and kind and gorgeous and the best person in the world.” She rambled on, listing positive things about you. 

The brunette’s confession shocked you, leading you to push down a bit harder on her bruise as you applied her medication. 

“Ow!” Hazel exclaimed, it felt like her bruise would resurface with the pressure you put on her face. 

“Oh my god, I’m so sorry!” You reply, frantically caressing her face as to apologize for accidentally hurting her. 

“It’s okay.” Hazel mumbled, bringing a hand up to her cheek. “Kinda hurts though.” 

“I’m really sorry. I’ll make it up to you, I swear.” 

Hazel’s eyebrows perk up at your offer. The cogs in her mind were working overtime and she was going to take a leap at what she was going to do but it would all be worth it. 

“I know how you can make it up to me.” She led on, a small smirk displayed on her face. She couldn’t quite smile as there were cuts on her lips that disabled her from doing so. 

“How?” You cocked your head to the side, curious to what her demands were. You felt really bad. To be fair, Hazel surprised you and she couldn’t just do that so suddenly, not when your hands were on her face. She knew how reactive you could get. 

“A kiss.” She beamed, proud of herself. 

You stare at her, bewildered. 

“We need to get you off those meds.” You mumble, putting away her ointment. This was you trying to hide your face that was sporting a blush. You could feel the warmth spread past your countenance and through your body. 

“I’m serious!” Hazel flailed, sitting upright. She had never been more serious in her entire life. She could come off as goofy most of the time but never with you. She had always tried her best whenever she was with you. You deserve the best things in life and she knew this. 

“Alright okay.” You caved, positioning yourself closer to her so that it was easier for your lips to attach themselves to her wounds. 

“Really?” The blue eyed girl questioned. She didn’t think she’d get this far. 

You hummed in response and made your way forwards, pressing a chaste kiss on the apple of her cheek right where the bruise was starting to shift colors. And then you planted another towards her swollen eye, careful not to put any pressure. Then, your lips found its ways towards hers. You hover over her lips, not quite sure if you should continue. 

“Please kiss me.” Hazel whispered, feeling a bit pathetic at her plea. But then again, this was all she ever wanted. To be near you and feel you. And if she were honest, she’d get beat up a thousand times again if it meant being under your tender care. 

At this, you press your lips onto hers. You were careful not to press too hard as you minded the cuts she obtained from the fight. But still, you kissed her with much love and yearning. With all of the pent up feelings you had for your best friend. She tasted like skittles. The only thing she’d enthusiastically eat during these past few days that she’d rested. 

“Do you feel better now?” You ask, parting your lips from hers. The beating of your heart was loud and you could physically feel your heart thump against your chest. 

“Well,” She said, as if in deep thought. “I think you need to kiss me more, to be honest. I don’t feel too well.” 

You laugh at her attempt to convince you to kiss her again. It worked, though. Obviously. But it was just so…Hazel. So authentically her. 

“Oh no!” You feigned worry, playing along. “We wouldn’t want that.” 

“No. Not at all.” Hazel shook her head. She took her spare hand and wrapped it around your waist. 

Leaning in once again, you take a moment to examine her features. The contrast of her sharp features against the violent splotches of purple and green and beige. She looked beautiful. Right then and there you swore that you’d protect her. Never let anything like this happen again. Protect her against the stupid football guy, PJ, anyone. 

“What are you thinking of?” Hazel asked, breaking you out of your trance. 

“How good you look. And how I’m totally gonna kick that football guy and PJ’s ass.” You reply, earning a groan from your best friend. 

“More kissing, less kicking ass, please.” She pleaded. 

“Alright okay.” You laughed, connecting your lips to hers again. You weren’t sure where this left the both of you. If it meant that you two were together now. You made a mental note to bring this up to her once you two finish making out. 

Hazel on the other hand, was elated. She had to personally thank her nurse and doctor for prescribing her meds that made her more loopy as hell but confident. She couldn’t believe it! She was kissing her best friend and long time crush all because of some stupid meds that got rid of her shyness. Hazel was going to enjoy this, she thought. And she also thought about how she was going to scream everything out into the world. How she finally got her girl and how lucky she felt. 

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tags: @academiareid <3

[jwanniie]

Been thinking about g!p hanni craving for her girlfriend but because of her schedule she couldn't find anytime with her so when they were given a vacation hanni took reader with her to Australia to meet her parents and then just them doing it during there vacation🥹

A/n: not proofread🥲😮‍💨

Fuck the schedule that kept her away from you. The schedule that kept her away from her lover, you her girlfriend! She knew that she had a vacation, and the company booked a flight Australia, so why not you tag along with her?? She secretly booked a flight for you on the same plane, without the company knowing.

When you heard the news, you were worried but still excited. You were scared because if the company finds out they are not letting it slide, and excited because you are going to spend time with your lovely girlfriend, Hanni. On top of that you are going to meet her parents and her younger sister, and you are going to Australia. The home of the most interesting animals also Hannis home country.The trip was only three days, but the best three days for sure. You were quick to pack your stuff along with Hanni and off you go!!

The flight was long but you enjoyed every bit of it, it was the first time you traveled with Hanni. After hours, you arrived at your destination. Sunshine country Australia! You were like a five-year old toddler, who just got a new toy. Giggling and just looking amusingly around. Hanni was just admiring you and your little kid smile, it made her heart full of adoration for you. You both took a taxi to surprise her parents, the trip from the airport wasn’t long and you spent it mostly looking through the window, admiring everything. “Baby, we arrived” her fingers found yours, intertwining them. You took a look at the house, it was new nice house, beautiful flowers planted in the garden and the sun shining straight at the flowers making them look extra healthy. Soon you both were standing in front of the door, your hand held tightly Hannis hand, slightly nervous. She was aware of your nervousness, her thumb rubbing against your thumb. “Don’t worry baby, they are going to love you so much” she reassured, you gave her a warm smile. Her other hand soon found the wooden door, and knocked on it.

You were met with Hannis beautiful and youthful looking mom, she was smiling widely and grabbed her daughter in for a hug, her dad and sister soon following her. Giving Hanni the tightest hugs, they all now turned around to look at you, you were the center of attention now. You laughed awkwardly while slightly scratching the back of your neck. “This is y/n,my lovely girlfriend” she introduced you proudly. Her family smiled and gave you a hug, smiling at you afterwards. “I see she seems so lovely” her mother uttered, while you blushed at the statement.

You had never been this happy, the first full day went by and it was amazing. You went out for a morning walk with Hanni, then her family grilled at their backyard, you went for a nice dinner with her and her sister and she showed you around her hometown, Melbourne. The day just went smoothly, the company of your girlfriend and her family was just so wonderful.

You were getting ready for bed, Hannis mom and her dad, brought you and Hanni a mattress and tried to make the room as cozy as possible. You and Hanni stayed late to watch a movie, and soon it was so late that her parents went to their rooms and her sister was probably in her room, doing whatever teen girl late night make up tutorial things she is doing. It was just the two of you, cuddling warmly on the couch. Hanni couldn’t help herself but be extremely needy, the way your body was pressed against her cock and your head under her chin, making her sniff your shampoo mixed with your sweet perfume. Her cock twitching violently in her tight pants, you were aware of the situation. Her hardon pressing visibly against your back, soon all of your thoughts were interrupted when the movie flashed a hot steamy scene. Both of you awkwardly just watching whatever there was playing, she was gulping nervously, that spicy scene made you feel tingles in your lower abdomen. The sensation sticky and warm, she wanted you and you wanted here, what is stopping y’all? You turned to face her, and slowly brought your face closer to hers, she tilted her face closer to you. Capturing you in a messy kiss. The make out session was sloppy and messy, you both pulling, lips parting and breathing heavier. She lifted you bridal style, going to your room. She dropped you gently on the bed, her lips quickly chasing yours again. Her hands found the buttons of your blouse, her fingers unbuttoning it hastily. Once your upper part was undressed her hands gently were squeezing and grabbing your soft tits, earning a high pitched moan from you. Her cock was painfully hard now, poor hanni, balls probably blue from the boner. Her pants were quick on the floor and her tip was parting your folds, before pushing in. Her head falling backwards from pure bliss. Her cock was deliciously stretching you out, your hole was way tighter than usually. Her mind clouded and hazy from the pleasurable suck of your cunt, after all it’s been weeks since you and her had your moment. Thrusts were hitting spots better than before, the head of her cock reaching spots, pushing you over the edge. The cold metal of her necklace was brushing against your neck sending shivers down your spine, the shiver made you clench on her, making her cock twitch before hot ropes of cum were filling you to the brim. With one last thrust you let go of your liquid which made her dick wet. She slowly pulled out, looking at your hole seeing how it clenches on nothing. Made her groan, sight so dirty and pornographic. You both showered together ending the night with a warm shower, getting your sweaty bodies washed. Damn, this is going to be one of the best trips!

[bitchinbarzal]

https://www.tumblr.com/bitchinbarzal/736733295226896384/do-it-lets-fuck-some-shit-up-cole-anon

At this point she was already pregnant (baby Luca) but she didn't know it

Mama Hischier was ready to raise this baby alone and in secret, i need drama

😮‍💨 oh bestie the angst. I know this doesn’t really fit with the original storyline but I’m going to make it because it’s too good.

Nico was in Switzerland for the summer with Naomi. You were supposed to fly Iris over half way through the off season before joining your girlfriends on a beach vacation in Greece then coming home to jersey.

However, plans change. You were sick, so severely sick.

You’d ended up calling Nico three weeks into the off season

“I need you to come back to jersey and get iris”

“What?! She’s not supposed to be here for another-“

“Nico, I can’t get into this with you can you do it or not? I can’t bring her there anymore”

You had it out on the phone, him accusing you of being difficult assuming it had something to do with Naomi being there or what he’d told you before he left.

It wasn’t, there was someone else you were too focused on.

Luckily, Timo’s girlfriend had shows in California so they were still in the states and they’d agreed to come to jersey after the shows were finished to get Iris and take her back to Switzerland with them.

You thought it best to let her go to her dads before it got bad.

Iris however was constantly watching you throw up, scared something was wrong. She was so worried.

You knew you were pregnant. Mom's intuition. And you were terrified.

You were scared, the fear from before was coming back up. Everything you’d been through four years ago was sitting at the forefront of your mind.

You were pregnant with Nico’s baby and he was trying to have a baby with someone else.

You hadn’t told him, after your conversations about him and Naomi you decided very selfishly, you’d do this alone.

In Switzerland, Iris was lapping up the love from her auntie, uncle, oma and opa.

All of them had watched her over the week and how Naomi interacted with her.

About a week into her trip, Iris was in bed ready to sleep when her grandma headed up to say goodnight. She stopped when she heard the little girl speak

“Is daddy coming to read to me?”

“No, your dad is busy. He doesn’t want to see you” Naomi snapped and his mom frowned listening to her tone “and Iris, I know your mommy sent you here to ruin our summer but please sweetheart just leave me and your daddy alone this week ok? You’re really bothering us”

She could hear the quiver in Iris’ voice “but mommy’s si-“

“I don’t care. she’s a pain in my side and so are yo-“

“Enough!” Iris scrambled out of bed to her grandma’s arms while Naomi tried to stumble out an excuse for what she’d clearly said.

“I think it’s best you leave Naomi, you’re not welcome in our house any longer”

They made off downstairs, Iris sniffling and Naomi yelling behind them about how they couldn’t kick her out, this wasn’t fair.

“Woah, what’s happening?” Nina asked, stopping the conversations she was having with her brothers and dad in the living room to focus solely on her distraught little niece.

Nico’s mom stared at him in a way she hadn’t since he was a child

“I want her out of our house, now”

He nodded, up out of his seat and straight towards Iris who shifted her head so she wasn’t looking at her father. Nico’s heart broke, he had no idea what was going on.

He left the house with Naomi and didn’t arrive back for almost two hours, by this time Iris was fast asleep in her uncles lap.

When he did come in the family were all waiting for him just as he’d left. He didn’t care about them, or what they had to say. He cared about Iris.

He approached her sleeping form and crouched down infront of her, kissing her cheek before lifting her up into his arms and taking her up to his bed.

He held her all night, still fully dressed in his clothes he’d worn all day. He just had to hold his girl.

When the morning came and Iris woke up she had to gather her surroundings before she saw Nico and cuddled into him some more

“Morning princess”

“Hi daddy”

He sucked in a breath before saying “You want to talk?”

Iris contemplated it for a minute before she said

“Are you and mommy fighting because mommy’s sick? Is that why Naomi doesn’t like mommy?”

Nico frowned “Mommy’s sick?”

Iris nodded "We went to the doctors home and she was crying" now Nico is internally panicking, a million thoughts running through his mind of what could be wrong with you.

"But the doctor lady gave mommy a present to take home and she was smiling after”

“What did she get?” He asks and Iris jumps out of bed, leaving the room momentarily before coming back in holding something.

He takes it from her hand and he is instantly relieved, it's just her sonogram. It takes him a moment before he quirks his head. That's not Iris. He knows her picture, it's in his stall, he sees it everyday.

Then he sees the name and date at the top.

You were pregnant.

Nico has a wave of emotions fall over him for a moment, anger, jealousy, hurt before he turns to Iris

“Mommy’s gonna be okay, ‘ris I promise”

She hums, still stuck into his side before she says

“Daddy?”

“Yeah squish?”

“I wanna go home to mommy”

“Yeah, me too”

So they travelled back to Jersey that night, the two of them needing your comfort.

You were in the middle of watching a movie when they came through the door, startling you

“Mama I’m home!” Iris shouted, jumping up onto the couch and into your arms

“Hi babygirl, what on earth are you guys doing back here?”you were looking at Nico to answer that.

He sat down next to you, pulling the blanket you had over him too then put down the sonogram on the coffee table infront of you both.

The smile on your face dropped and you looked at him, panicked.

“I hope it’s a boy” is all he says before grabbing your hand and squeezing it.

He knew. He knew it was his baby.

You squeezed his hand back “Not the baby mom you’d hoped for-“

“Hey” he grumbled “You’re the best mom and if I get the choice you’ll be the only mom to all of my kids”

“Neeks…”

“We’ll talk when she’s in bed ok?”

You nod, letting it go for now while watching Iris cuddle into your side to watch the movie and Nico’s hand spreads out across your belly.

He had everything he ever wanted under that roof

[v3nusxsky]

best friends mom!emily prentiss and reader. where readers bsf invites her to join their vacation for winter break and r accepts not knowing that emily was her best friends mom that she has been fucking for weeks. a few days there, r decides to go to in the hot tub, emily joins after without thinking. emily and r has unbearable tension so they fuck in the hot tub while emily’s ex husband and r’s best friend are out skiing.

- 🐦

MILF!18+

*Authors note~ I love the Emily prompts so much and I missed writing for my favourite lady*

Trigger warnings~ mommy kink semi public sex, cheating milf Emily x 21 year old reader

Prompt~ see ask^^^^

Delilah happened to be your best friend of 2 years, you'd met at college and instantly became thicker than thieves. For anyone who didn't know your story, it appeared you'd been friends for years. Yet realistically you didn't know each others family or home towns, you knew each others college lives inside and out. Delilah mentioned a family vacation she was being taken on and allowed a plus one, which was going to be her ex boyfriend, but the key word there was Ex. So it had all been payed for, she offered you to join in, knowing you'd been swept up in meeting the mystery girl, you'd return covered in love bits and satisfied for a few days. The cycle would repeat but you refused to divulge much information, only offering her gender and saying she's older, but god damn amazing in bed. So the break would do you the world of good.

That was how you found yourself and your best friend driving up to the cabin. A skiing holiday. Both singling obnoxiously loud to a special playlist of all your favourites. The emotional response would change from breakups to sexy to sad to happy and in love, a true mix but all of them loved by you both. When you arrived at the cabin you got all settled in your room before Delilah's dad and step mother arrived.

The shock of your life came when you saw your secret lover stood next to the man Delilah addressed as dad. "Emily" she nodded at your secret lover and that's when your eyes met, she was just as shocked to see you here too. Neither of before realised you were talking of the same girl. Delilah. You knew her as li and Emily addressed her as Delilah, so truly it was understandable how one didn't connect the two. Emily of course told you of her failing arranged marriage, her mother unwilling to accept that Emily was Lesbian so she arranged the marriage with a wealthy man, it made her look good so what was Emily's happiness to her?

With a nervous hi to both adults you began to listen in to what was going on. Delilah and her dad wanting to hit the slope as soon as possible, Emily hoping to stay back at the cabin maybe get a little nap in. So they were completely divided which meant they turned to you. "Uh um I could stay here with Emily? I could do with a nap, I'll hit the slopes tomorrow with you li?" You murmured hoping it would be okay.

Soon enough it had been decided li and her dad would hit the slopes and you and Emily would hang back here. As soon as they both left, Emily made her way to where you were staying, "that's your li?" She murmured as her eyes raked over your body. "You have a step daughter and a mommy kink em?" You teased watching as she smiled and came closer to you to steal a kiss. "Shut up princess you have no problem with calling me mommy when I'm attending to that pretty pussy of yours" she murmured against your lips before shoving you against the wall, the moment your back connected with the wall you let out a ridiculously loud moan. "Now now princess don't scream too loud or we will get caught" she teased before removing herself from you, "get a swim suit on, there's a hot tub and Im sure you'd hate to leave mommy all alone in there" she purred adding a quick swat to your bottom before heading to change.

By the time you had changed, Emily had already found herself in the hot tub, her burgundy swim sit hardly containing her plentiful boobs from spilling out over the cups. Her head lolled back in relaxation as the steam rose hitting cold air. "Mommy?" You whimpered as your need clouded your mind. It had been way too long since you'd had your lips on her pert buds, or lapping at her slick folds, hell you missed being dicked down by her strap. You missed your mommy and here and now with her like that, you just had to have her. "Join me princess" she murmured not even bothering to open her eyes as you scurried to join her.

The water was warm and you couldn't help but moan slightly as it washed over your skin, taking a seat next to Emily. "Now now princess you know mommy likes you on her lap" she murmured causing you to now straddle her lap. "Hello pretty girl" she murmured before kissing you hard enough to make your toes curl. "Mommy" you whined rolling your hips, only to find out she's packing.

"Mommy need you" you whined into her ear. "Princess it's been a few days since we you've had mommy, such a needy little slut aren't you?" She murmured before freeing her strap. "Gonna ride me like a good girl" she demanded really before slipping the binki bottom material to the side before allowing you to sink onto the faux dick.

"Oh mommy, fuck yes more" you whimpered eyes rolling back your head as you felt her hit that spot inside you only she could find. "Come on baby. Let mommy use that pretty pussy of yours" she murmured and you began to bounce on the strap. The hot tub jets adding bubbles to hide what was going on, "mommy mommy fuck want bed" you murmured in coherently. Quickly hoping off her strap you stumbled from the hot tube and to the bedroom you were staying in. Emily got on your heels.

Immediately you were bent over the bed, strap entering your core once more, this time pace being ruthless and erratic, "fuck princess feel so good. Take it. Take mommys cock. Fuck squeezing me so good baby" she moaned as to simply laid there taking the brutal assault, murmuring incoherent words and pleads. "Mommy! Love you mommy mommy please" you whimpered, "gonna cum" you warned. "That's it princess come for me. That's it good girl"

Emily fucked you through your orgasm before slipping from your core and moving to kiss you, "oh princess this holiday is going to be so much fun, now go clean up and look busy they'll be back soon, I love you princess" she murmured before leaving the room to freshen up.

Word count~ 1188

[hearts4hughes]

hi bestie! could i get 22. “are you serious?!” “what’s wrong?” “there’s only one bed.” with jack hughes ?

one bed - jack hughes

jack hughes x fem! reader

warnings: swearing, intoxicated reader, mentions of alcohol, let me know if i miss anything :)

a/n: i was half asleep writing this. i’m sorry for any mistakes because i just skimmed through the proof read😭 hope you enjoy reading, lovies!

gif is not mine

i’ve been going on vacations with the hughes ever since i was born. my mom and ellen, have been friends since middle school. so it wasn’t coincidental when i became best friends with all the hughes brothers.

well, not exactly with all of them. jack and i have never been friends. i’m not sure what i did to him, but my presence just seems to annoying him. the ironic part about this though is that i also have the fattest crush on him. i’ve learned to live with the fact that we are never going to be anything more than acquaintances.

as we arrive at the hotel, we get out and grab our luggage. luke so kindly grabs one of my suitcases after ellen lectures him on normal chivalry.

“i can’t believe mom is making me carry on of your suitcases.” luke huffs, rolling his eyes as he aggressively wheels the extra suitcase into the lobby. i giggle hitting him on the shoulder.

“oh my god, it’s so much torture to carry a small suitcase into a hotel.” i tease, letting out a fake gasp, causing quinn to giggle.

“she’s right, lukey.” quinn tags along, a big grin spreading across his face.

“fuck you!” luke jokingly yells, scrunching up his face in disgust.

out of the corner of my eye, i notice jack next to us. he wears both airpods in his ears and scrolls through instagram. he catches me staring and mutters a ‘what are you staring at?’. i roll my eyes and decide to just look away instead of arguing.

“what’s up jack’s ass today?” i ask quinn and luke quietly. they both look over to jack, examining his stern features and look back to me.

“probably just being a little bitch as usual.” quinn shrugs as luke agrees.

i notice ellen and my mom making there way over to us. a little packet holds the keycards to our rooms.

“here are the keycards for your rooms.” ellen passed us all out a keycard except for jack. jack patiently waits for his keycard to be given to him, but furrows his brows when it’s not.

“mom, where’s my keycard?” jack asks, looking around to everyone else holding a small card in hand.

ellen shares a small look with my mom, “well, we only got 3 rooms.” she starts to explain, “one for y/m/n, one for luke and quinn, and the other for you and y/n.”

my eyes widen in horror and i begin to wonder if i heard her right.

“i’m sorry, what?!” jack and i exclaim simultaneously. i drop my bag to the ground and look at jack. he looks back at me with the same expression on his face.

“we all thought it would be good for you two to spend together,” my mom chimes in, “you’ve known each other since you were babies, and you still dislike each other. you two are the same age, you should be getting along the best if anything.”

“you guys were in on this too?!” i send a glare over to quinn and luke, who seem very amused at the current situation.

“listen, it’s not the worst idea to force you guys to get along.” luke admits and quinn shakes his head. i send them a stern look of betrayal before looking over to see jack having a frustrating conversation with ellen. i can’t hear exactly what he is saying, but i’m pretty sure it’s along the lines of ‘i hate her and cannot share a room with her’.

“it’s only for one week,” my mom points out, picking my backpack off the ground and handing it back to me, “so suck it up.”

knowing nothing i can say will change what’s happening, i finally accept the outcome and stomp over to the elevator. jack mirrors what i do, huffing in frustration. the elevator ride up to our block of rooms is quiet. i could quite literally feel the tension suffocating me.

when the elevator doors open, i step out and reread the number on my keycard. i scan the row of rooms until i read one that says 207. i don’t check, but i’m pretty sure jack is trudging along behind me. i press the card to the circular lock and wait for a green light to flash. once it does, i swing open the door and throw my belongings on the ground.

walking deeper into the room, i notice one king size bed instead of two separate beds.

“are you serious?!” i sigh out in frustration, running my hands through my hair aggressively.

“what’s wrong?” jack’s voice drips in annoyance and anger. he still stands behind me, my body blocking the view of the singular bed.

“there’s only one bed.”

jack basically pushes me out of the way to see if i’m telling the truth. as he takes a look for himself and quickly turns around sends me an angry glare. this makes my blood boil.

“why are you fucking mad at me?!” i ask. my words are stern and cold.

“because if you didn’t come on this stupid vacation, this wouldn’t of happened!” he yells back in the same tone. he doesn’t even let me respond before he’s swinging open the door to the room, leaving me speechless and alone.

tears begin to swell in my eyes as i sit down on the bed. things don’t usually upset me like this, but jack yelling at me really did. trying to recollect myself, i raise to my feet and walk towards the bathroom. from there i close the door and turn on the shower. stripping down, i step inside the shower, hoping to wash away all the negativity.

**

it’s been at least three hours since jack and i’s little dispute and i’m currently downing my fourth martini at the hotel bar.

after my shower i walked out into an empty hotel room. i figured jack was hanging out the quinn and luke so i just decided to chill out for a bit. it only took me about an hour to get sick of doing nothing, so i slipped on a black minidress and got ready to go have fun.

being my natural petty self, i didn’t even text quinn or luke where i was going to. i needed to forget everyone for a little bit, so here i am, getting shitfaced.

“can i have a shot of straight vodka, please?” i’m urgent to get more alcohol in my body. the bartender nods, pouring vodka into a small glass and handing it to me. i waste no time before throwing my head back and downing all the vodka. the burning sensation from the drink lingers in my throat for a moment, but i’m used to it. “i’ll take another.”

“i think it’s time you stop drinking for the night.” the bartender denies my request, grabbing the empty shot glass and putting it in the dishwasher behind her.

“i’m not even drunk yet thought.” i whine, knowing damn well i’m wasted.

she barks out a sarcastic laugh and asks, “who broke your heart, love?”

“no one broke my heart.” i scoff. she raises both her eyebrows and looks at me in disbelief.

“what ever you want to believe, honey.” she walks away, assisting to another customer.

just as i begin to get up and leave the bar area, i hear a familiar voice behind me.

“y/n?” jack’s voice fills my ears making me not even want to turn around, but i do.

“what do you want?” i start slur, stumbling as a stand up. jack’s hands shoot up to my waist, supporting me so i don’t fall.

“you are plastered, aren’t you?” he asks. i don’t even bother to answer. i try to wiggle out of his hold and sneak away, but he doesn’t even budge. i throw my hands up in frustration.

“let me go.” i mutter.

“you can’t even walk to inches without falling over. there’s no way i’m letting to roam free around here.” he’s says in a stern tone. he doesn’t seem to be in the mood to argue with me which is a first.

the second time today, i just accept my fate and allow him to bring me up to the hotel room. i ended up not even being able to walk even with him supporting me, so he gave me a piggyback ride the rest of the way to the room.

as he opens the door to our room, he carefully sits me on the bed and shuts the door. he begins to take off my heels and dispose of them in the room somewhere.

he grabs a water bottle from the mini fridge and some advil from his bag. i take the medicine and water from his hands and chug it down.

i close my heavy eyes for a moment and when i open them again jack holds a clean tshirt and a pair of boxers.

“i don’t know where your stuff is in your bag, so it’s just easier if you wear my clothes for now.”

he’s being so nice.

why is he being so nice?

i walk into the bathroom and change into jack’s shirt and boxers. as i pull the oversized shirt over my head, i can’t help, but smell jack’s cologne on it. his scent gave me a sense of comfort and i was confused as to why. while in the bathroom, i also brush my teeth and hair so i’m not a total train wreck tomorrow.

“are you okay in there?” a small knock comes from the other side of the bathroom door and i open it, revealing myself in jack’s clothes. his eyes scan up and down my body. he doesn’t say anything, but his mouth stays open a little. he finally snaps back into reality and helps me to the bed.

as i pull the big covers over my body, i notice that jack isn’t getting into bed next to me, “are you going to sleep in the bed next to me?” i ask, looking at him like a lost puppy.

he stares at me for a moment before responding, “i was going to sleep on the floor, but if you want i can sleep in the bed.”

“could you sleep next to me, please?” i’m scared for his response, but i ask anyway.

“yeah, of course,” he coos, “just let me brush my teeth and stuff.”

i nod in response and lay down, waiting for jack to fill the empty space next to me. my heavy eyes are in need to be shut, but i keep them pried open, not wanting to fall asleep before he gets back.

it only takes a few minutes before i see jack emerging from the bathroom in just sweatpants. i can’t help, but stare at his exposed chest. it might just be my drunk mind, but his abs looked amazing. my eyes begin to go a little bit lower and they stop at his exposed v-line. the sweatpants hang low on his hips, showing just the right amount of his v-line. my throat begins to turn dry and jack blushes as he notices me checking him out.

“like what you see?” he teases, slipping into bed next to me.

“maybe i do.” i smirk, turning on my side to face him. he giggles at my flirty comment.

my smile begins to drop as i take a moment to exam his face. we’ve never been this close before. i notice how blue his eyes look, even in the dark lighting, and my eyes even flicker to his lips for a moment.

silence fills the room as we admire each other and i decide to speak up, “why were you at the bar?”

“well, i was-” he stutters a bit, searching for an excuse in his head. when he can’t find one he admits, “i was looking for you.”

“what?” my brows furrow at his response. it almost seems like he’s joking because why would he ever be looking for me? he couldn’t even stand in the same room as me three hours ago.

“i felt bad about yelling at you before and i wanted to apologize, but when i went into our room, you weren’t there. i basically searched the whole hotel for you before you caught my eye at the bar.” he closes his eyes and turns on his back. i don’t say anything and he begins to spiral, “listen, i- well, i didn’t mean to-”

“jack,” i cut him off.

“yeah..?” he asks, hesitantly.

“kiss me.”

he doesn’t waste anytime, turning to look at me and then smashing his lips against mine. we both sit up and jack moves me to straddle his lap. all the years of pretending i hated him, when i really was in love with him are thrown into the kiss. he slips his tongue in my mouth, catching me by surprise.

after at least a minute of nonstop kissing, i pull away breathlessly. i stare at jack’s face. he wears a proud smirk as his hands rest on my hips. i send him a cheeky smile in return.

“i’m in love with you.” i blurt out.

“i’m in love with you too.”

[ofstoriesandstardust]

scott street (j.h.s.)

a/n: this one is for those of us who didn't grow up with the childhood we deserved. may we all find some sort of peace in our adult lives.

summary: You open up to Jake about your childhood.

second star to the right (and straight on 'til morning)

warnings: vaguely referenced childhood trauma, complicated parental relationships, swearing, alcohol mentions, unedited

word count: 1.7k

"do you feel ashamed/when you hear my name?"

“What’s the coolest place you’ve ever been?”

You blink, realizing Reuben was talking. 

Bradley hums, swirling the last of his beer in his can. “Germany, I’d say.” 

Jake looks over at the brunette in surprise. “When the fuck did you go to Germany? Why?”

Bradley laughs, shoulders shaking. “Our high school did an exchange program with a school out there, but the ROTC kids got to go along. Not sure why though.” 

“I remember that trip. Everyone got fucked up.” 

“Did you go on that trip?” Bradley asks, curiosity piquing in his voice. 

You shake your head. “God no, I’d never have been able to afford it. No, I just remember all the Snapchat videos of you guys at the Rhine getting wasted.” 

“Mom doesn’t know about that, so shush.” Bradley says, narrowing his eyes. You throw your hands up in mock surrender. 

“My lips are sealed Bradshaw.” 

“What about you? What’s the coolest place you’ve ever visited?” 

You hum, shrugging. “Honestly, LA.” 

Javy groans. “What? That’s so fucking lame.”

You huff out half of a nervous laugh, realizing you were starting to encroach on territory you often tried to avoid with this group. “Honestly, can’t say I’ve visited anywhere cooler.” 

“Your family didn’t go on like… fun yearly vacations? Nowhere even just out of the state?” Natasha asks, with her eyebrow raised. 

You blink.

“You think we could’ve afforded that shit?” 

“I mean, this is a nice neighborhood and you grew up across the street from here-” Reuben starts but you’re quick to cut him off. 

“No, you all just assumed I grew up across the street from Bradley. I didn’t move into that house until high school and God knows where the money for that house came from.” 

“We used to hear her and her Mom getting into screaming matches from across the street. Quality afternoon entertainment.” Bradley says, a smirk on his face.

You rise from your seat, Jake protesting as you do so. “Yeah, fuck you Bradshaw.” 

He turns as you walk towards the sliding glass doors. “Hey, wait, I didn’t mean-”

“Just shut up.” 

-

“Is everything okay?” 

You sniff, rubbing your snotty nose on the sleeve of the maroon embroidered San Diego sweatshirt you’d bought off Etsy just a few months ago. 

You’d been so excited for it.

“I think a piece of me died in that house, Jake.” You croak, turning to look at him. He sighs, crouching down to sit next to you on your balcony. You could see all the city lights of the town you had always called home, stretching in every direction. 

“Not, not in that house across the street from Bradley’s, I- I’ve never liked that place.” You say with a shrug as he reaches over to wipe a tear away. “But that first house, the one I called home. I think a piece of me died there.” Your shoulders begin to tremble as you feel another sob come on. “And I want- I want to show you around, and show you all the places I grew up and the stories behind them, but I- I don’t know how without also acknowledging all the hurt.”

“Show me the hurt.” He whispers. “It’s okay. I’m right here, for the happy and the hurt and the in-between. I’m not going anywhere.” 

-

“Why is it ugly?” Jake jeers, leaning around you as he peers at the metal gate of the high school. 

You let out a little laugh. “You know what, my stomach used to drop every time I arrived at this place. Every morning, I used to stall and talk to my Dad because I didn’t want to get out of the car and go in. I wanted to leave before I ever even got here. Graduating always seemed like the best thing that would ever happen to me. Four years I was miserable and yet- I don’t know, I kind of miss it. Maybe miss what it could’ve been.”

“You and Bradshaw weren’t buds?” 

“Hell no, he was right when he said the neighborhood got free entertainment out of the screaming matches heard from my house.” 

“What’s your favorite memory from here?” 

You smile wistfully, eyes glancing over the campus. 

“Leaving. Leaving and knowing I never had to come back to a place that made me feel like I was going to suffocate in a dead-end life. I know a lot of people hate high school but that- that was different almost. Those last two weeks of senior year- I’ve never felt anything quite like it.” 

The two of you sit there for a while before you sigh, turning back to Jake.

“Well, on to the next.” 

-

“It looks like a prison.” 

You giggle at Jake’s bluntness of your middle school. “The San Diego Union-Tribune said the same.” 

-

“Wait, okay, those murals are kind of cute.” 

Jake’s talking about the different murals the elementary school had commissioned over the years, which really, were some amazing artistry that made the school feel incredibly welcoming. 

You nod. “They have a lot of open houses and events for the community, I keep meaning to get involved or swing by, just see the place. See what’s changed.” 

Jake hums, squeezing your hand as he circles the block. “That would be fun, I’d love to see it too.” 

-

“I spent so many years at this park.” You say softly as you settle down on the grass next to Jake. “My whole life, I’d come to this park. The late night therapy conversations with friends, the fights I’d have with them, the reprieve from my parents, the lunches and birthday parties, it all happened here.”

Jake licks the spoon of the frozen yogurt place from a few blocks over before responding. 

“How come we’ve never been here on any dates then?” 

You shrug, scooping around the Oreo bits in your yogurt. 

The shop you used to go to all the time with your Dad had been sold by the nice woman to a bigger chain, the place far from what it had been when you were a kid.

“Because I’ve tried not to come anywhere near this place. This neighborhood- it’s not good memories for me Jake. I want to leave it all behind, leave it where it belongs. I’m not that person any more. I don’t want to be her ever again.” 

-

The car rolls to a stop across the street, parking under the only tree on the block that ever dropped leaves when the seasons changed. 

It’s silent in the car as you sigh, looking at the house through the smudged glass. 

It’s painted blue now and the pomegranate tree that had sat out front is gone. 

It wasn’t even really all that far from the new place across the street from Bradley’s, a five minute drive taking you right back. 

Still, moving out of that place had felt like leaving so much life behind. Like a door had closed that you’d never be able to reopen ever again, no matter how much you pounded on the door and tugged at the doorknob. 

“I guess they’re selling this place now.” You whisper. “My sister texted me the Zillow link.” You swallow thickly as your eyes begin to sting. “Fifteen years I lived there and I couldn’t recognize a single room.”

You shake your head, turning away from the window. “That place- it stopped feeling like home so long before we moved. But I just- I just think about the little girl who had all her best memories there who laughed and loved and cried and whose light died when her parents took that from her.” 

Jake leans over the center console, brushing a few tears from your cheeks as you chance another look at the house. 

“It’s so silly to say-” You hiccup. “But I feel- I feel like her ghost is trapped in there, waiting for someone to return and love her the way she should have been by her parents. I lost so much in that home to a dysfunctional family with parents who wouldn’t know the first thing about love.” 

The tears are salty on your lips as you tilt your head down, wringing your hands together. 

“But it wasn’t just- my family. It was the loss of friends and never feeling like enough. It was the first place where I realized I wasn’t what the world defined as pretty or cool enough to get asked out on dates or to dances. And I just-”

Your heaving sigh gives way to the tears. 

“I just want to set her free. That little girl who used to walk around in princess heels that drove her parents nuts and read Harry Potter books under her covers until the sun came up- I wish there was a way to let her memory go without also feeling like I’m letting her down.”

You realize too late that the words might have been too much too early for Jake but he’s quick to read your mind, softly lifting your wrist to press a soft kiss to your pulse point. 

“She knows, honey. She knows.” He whispers. “Believe me okay? That little girl inside of you would be so proud of the woman you’ve turned out to be. You’ve done so many things in your life that seven-year-old you – or hell, even thirteen-year-old you – never would have even thought possible.” 

He leans farther, pushing back some of your hair from your face. 

“I know that there’s no way to go back and undo from your childhood, that healing that little girl inside of you will take so much more time and care and love. You deserved to be loved in the way parents are supposed to love their kids, supportive and encouraging and kind and I know those things weren’t true about yours. There is no denying that you should’ve been given that love as a child.” He swallows, intertwining his fingers with yours. “But I can say that you have risen above all the loss and the pain and become an incredible, bright, kind, successful individual. That hurt and longing that I know must ache is valid. But don’t let it push you under, because there is so much more life and love to be experienced beyond what happened in that house. It’s just four walls and a roof, honey. It’s okay to let it go.”

[quokkaholic]

Playlist🖤h.j

Warnings: cussing, drinking, (will update as I write more. Pls Imk if I miss anything)

Synopsis: y/n is spending time in the countryside trying not to be plagued by her thoughts of Han.

Chapter 4

Magenta Mountain

——————————-

I spent at least 30 minutes in bed, kicking my fucking feet and grinning so hard it hurt as I replayed moments from this evening. Even just remembering the lulls in the conversation when we’d be comfortably silent and make bashful eye contact makes my damn toes curl. I feel like a teen again as the giddiness forbids me from sleeping for another 30 minutes after that. I used that energy to work on my Korean vacation playlist and listen to it as I fall asleep.

It’s a bit of a slow start the next day. It’d typically but upset with myself for sleeping until almost 10:30am, but I can cant bring myself to regret any moment of last night. I know I’m being a too naive however I just can’t stop myself checking for a message from Han. There’s nothing. I go ahead and send my mom safety check in and drag my groggy ass to the bathroom to once again rush through my morning routine.

I scramble to get back out site seeing before I travel to Seoraksan National park. I hit up a museum of history and one of art before I have to make my way to the station for my 4:45pm train. Once boarded, I find my seat and check my phone one more time before settling in for a nap. Only my mom had texted asking for pictures. No Han. That’s fine. I won’t stress. He’ll reach out eventually. Probably.

I truly needed that nap after my long night. Once arriving at the park, I made my way to my camp site where I’ll be staying. I’ve rented a bit of a permanent tent; I’ll be staying here for a few days before I move on to the area around Daedun mountain, then finally spending a day in the Andong before heading back to Seoul for the last two days of my trip.

The nature is breathtakingly stunning and it was truly a dream visiting the smaller towns near by and see a more different side to Korea. I went on stunning hikes and had to visit some more temples. I took so many damn photos that I had to spend two hours on a park bench deleting old photos so that I could make more space on my phone. It’s was so serene while somehow simultaneously being so exciting seeing a new landscape along with the endemic flora and fauna. I even got to see a Korean musk deer! Even though I did intend to unplug a bit, I couldn’t help but check for messages from Han.

The anxiety was not all consuming, but I did find my mind wandering to him in the evenings when I wasn’t distracted by my environment. I funnily enough somewhat progressed through the stages of grief. The first night I’m gaslighting myself that maybe I gave him the wrong, maybe I never even gave him my number at all and it was some sort of lovely dream. The next day I find myself getting just a little pissy when I think of that night. Why would he ask for my damn number if he didn’t want to text me? Did he pity me? Was that whole interaction just a product of pity? The following night I stare up at the stars wondering if maybe I should’ve done something different. That’s bullshit though, right? If he didn’t like me he didn’t have to text me, but then why the fuck did he ask for my number. Ughh. The third night in the countryside I may have spiraled just a bit. Not a lot. Just a little. I know I’m being wide-eyed here, he just seemed so sweet and genuine. The next night I feel silly for getting my hopes up at all. He was just a nice and coincidentally very handsome man that wanted to help out a clueless foreigner and is now haunting my dreams. Traveling alone can be so fun and exhilarating but also so lonely. I rarely feel more alone than in a foreign country by myself; maybe he sensed that. By the last night I came to a conclusion. He truly was a great guy but just maybe not in the ways I wanted him to be.

The morning of my second to last day in South Korea started especially early to catch a train back to Seoul in order to make the most of my penultimate day here. I just have to lug myself to the station, get on the train, and then I can go back to sleep. I’m never a morning person; I could always use more sleep. That’s only different when I’m on vacation. I, of course, get a little nap in, and I guess the trip is finally taking it’s toll on me because a train attendant has to gently wakes me when we arrive. Oh god I look like a dam fool. I’m so embarrassed and in such a hurry to disembark. I’m throwing shit in my bag, and I don’t even have time to wipe the drool from my chin before I have to scoot from my seat and scurry out of the the train car. I’m so flustered I almost dont see notification on my phone before it gets chucked into the bag too. Navigating the bustling station I pull out my phone to open my maps, and I go to dismiss the notification as it’s probably yet another safety check in, but it’s from an unknown number with an unfamiliar area code.

“Hey y/n. I’m sorry…but I just had to reach out to you. I remember you said you’re leaving tomorrow, right? I was wondering if I could maybe see you again?”

My hearts stops.

——————————

A.n thank you for reading! I’m trying my best. If you notice inconsistency between the chapters, no you didn’t 😊 I’ll go back through and edit once I’m done or find a bit of a stopping point if it gets too long.

-Mo💕

Previous | Next

[qmorningcrew]

dump all your ideas abt ur summer camp au i want to hear it

ahhhhhh first of all anon ily <333

here’s my ideas for the summer camp au so far :)

- it’s called quesadilla summer camp (im so creative lmao)

- the camp was created on an experiment. if it went well, they would implement the plans on a larger scale. (what’s the experiment? it’s assumed it has something to do with crossing the language barriers but no one actually specifies)

- all participants get college scholarships

- but the whole thing is really badly executed? like it just does not have the set up or functionality of a normal summer camp

- there’s just very little supervision or guidance

- the camp is run by some version of the duck, and they’re very uninvolved which leads cucurucho and zero to just Not Care.

- counselors are rubius, cucurucho, and the code entity

- the code entity goes by zero

- zero really doesn’t talk but they all learn pretty easy it’s how fucking awful of an idea it is to piss them off

- cucurucho and zero are they/it besties

- rubius is the same age/around the same age as the campers, cucurucho and zero are older

- sometimes one the campers walks into their cabin and sees an entirely new person in their cabin, which is normal. they switch cabins constantly

- the first week people just keep. randomly wandering off. “where’s wilbur?” two hours later wilbur walks out of the woods with a rock. (not even like a cool rock. it’s just a normal fucking rock)

- phil’s the mom friend. but he’s still a disaster. he’s just the only one with any shred of responsibility. he’s also just got an aura of trustworthiness that makes everyone trust him with their problems

- fit is just. so chill

- he also just? always has what you need? “yeah sorry it’s a bit hot in here, a screw that seemed important fell out of the fan earlier so we haven’t turned it on yet” “oh! i think it’s in here- nope screwdriver’s in the left pocket, where did you say the screw was?”

- dan just kinda disappears for a bit? cucurucho tells the campers he went on vacation but they don’t entirely believe them. dan comes back a little different.

- spreen is always either starting chaos or nowhere to be found

- quackity manages to keep putting himself in the middle of like every problem whether he’s involved or not

- however charlie pretty much is always involved

- luzu is had DID and arin is an alter

- luzu does know about arin but he was just diagnosed and is still figuring it all out

- roier flirts with everyone (except jaiden, he respects her boundaries)

- wilbur brought his guitar with him and sings at the campfire some nights

- charlie only joins in on the meme songs

- jaiden finds the most. random shit. “hey guys i found $20 stuck to the bottom of the picnic table with a piece of gum” “oh dude look! a patch of four leaf clovers!” “woah look at this cool bottle cap i just found!”

- maximus is a conspiracy theorist but in like a, hey this actually genuinely makes sense kind of way

- bad is terrified of spiders

- he saw one in the bathroom of his cabin and was completely moved in to a different cabin within seven minutes

- roier finds this hilarious

- foolish and vegetta are dating. no one knows how they got together or when they got together. if you ask either of them, you’ll get two completely different answers

- the brazilians join two-ish weeks in

- they all arrive together in a bus together and have already formed a Friendship on the journey there

- the bus was almost set ablaze 4-6 separate times (depends on your definition on separate)

- there is an extremely done cucurucho driving the bus

- forever sees phil and immediately turns to tell felps how that is the man of his dreams

- mike and pac are inseparable. they’re just kind of always within the vicinity of each other.

- cellbit, bad, foolish, and maximus attempt to take over the camp together. it doesn’t go as planned.

[all-hail-the-witcher]

questionable government spies, but better written and 5 years late chapter 2: please don't scramble my eggs

back at it again :)

i got stuck in florida for 5 days and produced this

___

words: 750 (short but its necessary)

edited: yes :)

warnings: kidnapping, threats, gangs

tags: @jack-kellys @ainti-pretty @boygirlctommy (let me know if you want to be tagged)

ch 1 | read it on ao3

___

*24 hours earlier*

It was a normal day for Spot. Which should have been his first red flag. There were no normal days when you worked for The Anonymous. 

Which was why he really shouldn't have been surprised when between one second and the next he was getting knocked out and thrown in a van. 

Next thing he knew he was blinking his eyes open in a dim, dank room. One single lightbulb flickered annoyingly above him and thick rope dug into his wrists. Something chirped in the corner. Rats, most likely. Spot wasn’t sure if the higher ups in the gang simply had no money or just had a thing for shitty movie interrogation core rooms because believe it or not, this was not the first time that he had ended up in a room that looked like this. 

“Sean Patrick Conlon.” 

Fucking Christ. 

“Oscar if you wanted to talk to me you could have just asked like a normal person,” Spot sighed. “We work in the same building. There was really no need to pull out all the stops for me.”

Oscar stepped into the light, a sickly smile stretched across his stupid face. The hilt of the silver knife he was rolling between his hands clicked against his many gold rings. Spot resisted the urge to roll his eyes. 

“You know you shouldn’t talk to me like that,” Oscar grinned. “Not after everything I’ve done for you.” 

“I wasn’t aware that kidnapping me and tying me to a chair fell into that category” 

Faster than he could blink, Spot felt the tip of Oscar’s knife digging into his collar bone. He ground his teeth together so he wouldn’t flinch. It wouldn’t do him any favors. He waited for Oscar to make some kind of smart ass comment, but what he said instead was far more terrifying. 

“Why did you never tell any of us that you have a sister?” 

Spot’s blood went cold. He hadn’t seen Grace in years. She had been placed in a different foster home than he had been after their mom had dropped off of the face of the earth and he had never been able to find her again after he had aged out. After a few years he had come to accept the fact that she had likely been adopted by whatever family she had been placed with.

He fought to maintain his composure. “So what if I do?” 

Oscar was unfazed. “Grace Michaels. You know she’s living in the city? 42 West 64th street. She has a cat named Slippers. Her Amazon package is arriving today, she ordered a new 10 foot iphone charger. She left the house at 7:33am with her fiancée. Did you know she was getting married? I’m assuming he didn’t ask for your permission.” 

Spot narrowed his eyes. Straining against the rope would just make Oscar more annoyed. 

“His name is Patrick Cortes,” Oscar continued. “He proposed during their vacation two months ago in Italy. The date is already set for next November. She picked out her dress two weeks ago.” 

“What do you want with Grace?” Spot asked, fighting to keep a straight face. In a way, it was comforting to know that Grace was still alive and seemingly okay, but if Oscar was interested in her then that might not last for much longer. 

Oscar flipped his knife in his hands. “Tomorrow morning you are going to go to the FBI Headquarters in Times Square and you are going to turn yourself in. In exchange for your immunity you are going to offer to work with their agents in order to take down this organization. You will refuse to work with every agent except for Antonio Higgins. You will build trust with him and help him to infiltrate our organization. After one month you will double cross him, leading him to his death.”

“And why would I do that?” Spot had a sinking feeling that he already knew the answer. 

“Because it would be a shame if your sister was in a horrible accident before her wedding, don’t you think?” Oscar smirked. 

“You’re sick.” 

Oscar shrugged. “It’s not my plan. This one’s direct from the higher ups.” 

“Of course it is,” Spot muttered. “I’m assuming I have no choice?” 

“Not unless you want your roommate to find your head on his doorstep.” 

Spot tried to imagine Elmer opening the door of their apartment to his head in a cardboard box. Not a good mental image. Especially when Elmer thought that he worked as a security guard at a Hilton hotel. 

“Do I have to kill him?” Spot asked. That was his one remaining boundary. Over the years they had pushed him to do worse and worse things, but he had still remained firm in the fact that he didn't want to kill anyone.

“No,” Oscar said. “The higher ups have a plan for him.” Spot resisted the urge to shudder. Hopefully whoever this Antonio was was an asshole so that he didn't feel bad about leading him to what was surely to be a terrible and painful death.

It was a lose lose situation and as usual, the only way out was through. That was how things worked around here. And the worst part was, he was stuck here.

“So are you in?”

“Yeah.” Spot hated that he didn’t even hesitate. “I’m in.”

___

:O evil spot

ch3 will be long and incredible to make up for how short this one is

let me know what you think !!!

[anonymouscomrade]

aC on vacation

so here's a summary of day 1, more later when i feel like getting the photos off my phone

got to a hotel where my brother and his wife are staying because fuck driving several hours when i should be asleep. google maps sends me to a parallel fucking dimension where the hotel was built on the opposite side of the city. also the roads here are somehow iced over when most of the road leading here wasn't so go figure. we try to get dinner and almost everywhere is closed on account of the snow, except for this hole in the wall chinese takeout place, because if you can count on any place to be open, it's one of these. they make the best general tso's chicken i've had in a long time, it turns out

woke up at like four in the morning for our 7:30 am flight, because by airport logic being only two hours early is tantamount to no-showing. this was right after shit got polar so the roads were covered in ice. at the parking place, i tried and failed to get past a barrier before the lever arm came back down again because it was on a slight incline and i couldn't get enough traction to clear it before it closed. this happened like SIX TIMES, it was some Three Stooges shit

our shuttle takes us over to the airport. i stick to my brother like a little kid to his mom because he's done this before and i have not. the flight is going to be five hours. which doesn't make sense to me because the return flight is only supposed to be three and a half. i dunno, maybe headwinds or something? i'm not a fucking pilot. i'm anxious to get this part over with because, again, never flown before. after waiting for clearance for what feels like forever (justified, on account of ice) we're finally in the air. it's... nothing? it's kind of mundane and somehow boring. one of the greatest achievements in human history and the only difference between this and being on a bus packed full of strangers is there's no road to rumble against that eventually numbs your butt, and also it's several degrees of magnitude faster than a bus i suppose

we arrive at LAX and if i didn't already feel like a fish out of water then oh boy. how the fuck do people live like this? how do you figure out who's supposed to go where? it's like living in the Kowloon Walled City, thought the guy who grew up imagining anywhere big enough to have a walmart counted as a "big city"

we get another shuttle, this one absolutely cramped with people, to get to the rental car place. my brother argues with the guy (who isn't even actually *physically* there, he's somehow doing sales over Zoom or some shit) for like half an hour before telling him to cancel the whole thing. turns out they wanted close to four times what he was originally quoted and weren't budging. we decide to get an uber to the closest In-n-Out, because we're in California, and also starving, so why not. we're standing in line looking a bunch of huge dorks carrying around suitcases. if i was ever going to be mugged in broad daylight it would be right here, right now. i order a double double combo, swap out the tomato for onions because raw tomato has all the texture and flavor of a balloon filled with wet sand, and onions and cheeseburgers go together like chocolate and peanut butter. the burger's okay, i guess. the fries are the most boring fries i've ever eaten. at least it's probably the cheapest meal i'll have while i'm here

we take another uber to get to our airbnb, about 45 minutes out. every other billboard is this guy

we arrive and immediately notice something is wrong. it was advertised as 4 bed. there are TWO double beds. this is pretty good if you're two married couples and not so much if you're the double third wheel travelling with two married couples. there's one room with a folding leather futon and not much else that seems kind of pointless and i decide this is where i'll stay. turns out that futon is the least comfortable sleeping surface ever manufactured in human history and there are maybe three exact positions that are even kind of comfortable enough to fall asleep in while lying on it and not having an iron bar press up into your lower back or your shoulderblade or the back of your neck

END OF DAY 1

[transfem-tomboy-oni]

Soooo the documents arrived that I can fill out to request unemployment benefits.

Bbuuuuut

I think I will also be trying to get a. How is that called in English. Does that exist in English? An ID that certifies that I'm disabled.

Cuz being depressed in the way that it impacts your ability to go about your day as normal counts as a disability so im gonna be making use of that.

I mean. Considering. I was unable to attend school, work, or training for like. What. Since mid 2018? More than 5 years? I think that may not only be justified but fucking overdue.

But well i didn't know that was an option and maybe I was also apprehensive to take resources that I felt I didn't deserve but you know what I think i do and I will try to see if they think do too. Which. Well. According to how they say they rate "degrees of disability". Uhm. Yea. I really should be...

And I'm kinda sad that. I didn't know before. I think? I dunno. I'm gonna do this but I still feel this lingering bit of... i suppose imposter syndrome? when thinking about this. But like. I dunno. I'm... exhausted

I wish my mom wasn't still involved in this. And my therapist wasn't on vacation... I kinda need her advice on a lot of things...

...how nice it would be to just... be okay. Just... have finished school. Got a job. And be... fine. I hate that I don't have that. And that it's being made so hard for me, by my mom, by the governent with 30 page documents to read and fill out, and all of them bring unreachable half the time, just cuz I can't just be "normal".

I wish I could. I... I don't know. This... sucks.

[supernoondles]

2024

In my haste of class planning and making the most of my time in the bay, as I moved to LA for work in December of 2023, I completely forgot to write my year in review. So now I tell that it was a great year!

It was a year of milestones: I finally finished my PhD and graduated over the summer, spent the fall funemployed and traveling, and the last month moving and preparing for what, at least right now, seems to be my dream job. Yet when things are too good, I harbor a greater fear it could all come falling down.

I write this sitting on a plane from SFO to LAX (wretched airport) because 1) it was conveniently timed with my brother and his fiance (!)’s flight back to the Netherlands, and 2) I had airline credit from when I got COVID and could not make my friend’s wedding in Florida. In 2023 I got a PhD, my brother got a bachelor’s, and I got COVID from my mom when we went to Boston for said brother’s graduation. Last night (which isn't technically 2023, but 2024 starts, for me, when my health insurance card finally arrives in the mail and I get in a classroom with students) I hung out with my friends, who largely live in San Francisco, in the endless Asian strip malls of Union City. “When you get to the suburbs, SF and LA aren't so different,” said a friend. This has helped quell my anxiety about the move: that driving 30 minutes to neon plazas of Rowland Heights was semantically and experientially the same as the imitation mission plazas of the East/South Bay. (Since starting to read City of Quartz, again part of my migration south, I have thought: how funny that the lasting impact of the Spaniards, besides white supremacy, is their architecture. How funny it is that Asian immigrants now occupy these sites of worship.) This year, despite being filled with drama and (claimed) abandonment and reconciliation (or not despite, perhaps because of?) was the year of my mostly queer, entirely Asian diaspora friend group. In LA I believe I will have everything I need except for them (so although I'm scouting, I know what a rarity and a privilege I've had).

To put my move in perspective, I haven't changed geographic regions since I started college. Leaving high school was exciting (I couldn't wait) and for the last decade of my life I've had solid friends and community, as well as my family nearby. Sure, it's just the other major metropolitan area in the same state, but the distance is non trivial! For the first time in my adult life I don't have a reserve of people who are willing to hang out on a moment’s notice. For the first time in my adult life I am also living alone. I have loved the control (especially around having a clean house), but I get lonely very easily.

This year my Canadian partner left the PhD program and moved far away (back to Canada) to my immediate and eminent grief. I'm better now: daily calls help, as does begging for attention, as does turning an old friend into a lover. Japan was a sex vacation. Banff was a sex vacation. Oahu (where my lover’s aunt lives) was a sex vacation. 2023 was the year of having really good sex: public sex in a Petaluma park, sex in a ryokan with paper thin walls, hookups of varying but generally positive quality. As a consequence of my partner leaving, I finally became a real slut. It's been liberating, except for the fact that, even as of writing, I never heard back about my Medicare application so I was fucking uninsured. Out of the many indulgent days of unemployment vacation, two instances have stuck with me: hiking 12 miles while it was snowing in Banff to two teahouses nestled amongst glaciers, and landing at LAX after a sleepless flight from Japan, with a grueling 7 hour drive back to the bay ahead of us.

As I knew I would be leaving the bay area in 2022 (do you sign a year before you start in any industry besides than academia?), in 2023 I whittled away at my bay area bucket list. While I never managed to get up Sutro Tower, I did go to the Fallorons, which, despite my throwing up twice, was everything a birder could have wanted. (I took two boat rides this year, the other at Cape Cod when my brother begged for us to vacate his suffocating studio, and in that one I saw a great white shark attack. How lucky I am!) As usual, I went to many shows. New this year were shows my friends performed in! The past winter had the most rain I’d ever seen in the bay area, so I did a lot of hiking amongst the luscious green east bay hills, which stayed green until May. This made me also really happy, but I don't want my relationship to the bay area (like it is for so many people I know who have moved) to be one defined by lack.

One thing I will not miss, however, is West SF’s fog. This summer, as well as the ending of Daylight Savings time, particularly pushed me to my limits. As I get older my need for two daily hours of direct sunlight exposure grows more dire. The other lowlights of the year were having to replace my phone screen twice, and, after a decade in the bay, finally having my car broken into. I found it ironic that it was not because of petty theft (I also never leave anything in my car), but a TikTok trend encouraging teens to steal Kias and Hyundais. At least they failed with me!

In 2023 I organized a really big (600 people) party for a conference. I wrote a paper with my friends about power dynamics for the same conference (which usually only talks about “technical” things) which was also the last chapter in my thesis. Thanks, advisor, for believing in me. As the party was on Halloween, I hosted a costume contest. The winner for scariest costume was my labmate who put a photo of our advisor (my other one) on a programmable LED screen strapped to his chest.

In 2023 I also started getting paid an hourly wage that made me happy looking at the number doing contract work with an old undergraduate mentor. Beyond this, and the volunteer labor, and the paper/thesis writing, I did not do much of “working” this year: also part of the reason why this year has been awesome.

Thanks to an Asians with dyed hair and pronouns art accountability club, in 2023 I made more art than I had in past years. I did gouachetober and the occasional digital illustration. I did not, however, accomplish what I sought to do during my unemployment: dedicate myself to being a full time artist and making something great. (In retrospect, rest, recuperation, and being excited for my job instead of burnt out from my PhD was the more important goal, and I definitely achieved that!) I feel like one’s relationship to their creative practice is a lifelong evolution (mine certainly is), and at least I had time to slow down and think about how I want that to shape out (the answer which is, more than it has been.) I didn't sew much of significance (a robe with black cat fabric I bought in Japan, a very hungry caterpillar Halloween costume, a Pokémon fanny pack) this year. It was, however, a great year for video games: I really enjoyed Tears of the Kingdom (timed well with my COVID recovery), Super Mario Wonder, Pikmin 4, and I wouldn't say I “enjoyed” it, but I did play the Scarlet Violet DLC. My brother started playing Pikmin Bloom (so I have been playing it more) and I also “play” Pokemon Sleep every night. The best thing I watched was Beef. I listened to a lot of Caroline Polachek.

At a zine making workshop at Sour Cherry I got a 4x6 photo print of a cat that says, Wow! I'm looking forward to the future! That's the energy I'm approaching this new year with (I'm going to hang it in my office for my students). I am looking forward to adopting cats. My only resolution is to work less than 40 hours a week. Recapping how I did with last year's resolutions, I 1) did not really exercise more consistently, but I did run more consistently, and did a 5K with my dad on Thanksgiving! (Middle school me would never imagine.) 2) am unclear if I developed a more methodological way to conduct literature reviews, because my thesis related work was mainly copy/pasted from my old papers, and 3) did very much enjoy my last year in the bay. Here's hoping I can find community, nature, and food (rip China Lounge, I love you so much) as good in LA.