#amazing what happens when you listen to your fucking patients

[cardioasscular]

my "brain tumor" (pituitary adenoma) is GONE and I'm out of work for a whole ass 6 weeks!

healing's gonna be rough and it's gonna take a while to see more dramatic changes, but hopefully this is finally the beginning of the end of this bullshit caused by this little fucker.

[vifilms]

THE SUNSHINE ON MY SHOULDERS STICKING LIKE HONEY

feat. contractor!abby x exgf!reader

content warning. eighteen+, smut, angst, some fluff sprinkled in, devastating dykes, nickname for reader (cherry), jealousy, long lost love trope, hazel (spoiler alert, she’s a cunt), just an emotional ass fic.

THE SUNSHINE ON MY SHOULDERS STICKING LIKE HONEY, she was the healing in a world that struck so much pain, a life you would like to forget, but can you truly forget just how much you loved her?

rayray sesh. been working on this baby for over a month and i’m very happy to post it on time! happy birthday, pookie — @sinstear ♡ this is my special crafted gift i wrote just for you on a day to celebrate just how amazing you are. erenboo, you deserve all the love in the world. i hope you enjoy this as much as i took joy in writing it for you. my love, sweat, tears, and cum are laced in it. special delivery. i love you so much, bub. always and forever.

✶ special shoutout to @hypnagogics aka my co-yap captain. thank you for proofreading my bigger projects. you are a godsend. my nonsensical typos would surely make it if it wasn’t for you. mwahmwah! you’re the sweetest, ily ♡

✶ header heavily inspired by the lovely @hcneymooners

word count, 14k.

❝ ⋮ ⌗ ┆𝐚𝐜𝐭 𝐨𝐧𝐞: 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐲 𝐝𝐨 𝐬𝐚𝐲 𝐥𝐨𝐯𝐞 𝐢𝐬 𝐛𝐥𝐢𝐧𝐝 ❞

The more you try to hide from it, the harder it’ll be when you face it — at least those are the words Abby had heard from her old man for as long as she could remember. Suddenly, nearly thirty-years later, they reverberated in her mind like a ring of a bell. A vibrating reminder of how her life remained the same, your love having limitations, requirements she never could have been aware of at the ripe age of eighteen. 

All she needed was more time, more understanding, and a patient heart that was never reciprocated. On a day like today, she’s reminded of 

In Jacksonville, there wasn’t much going on, and talk travels faster than the speed of lightning. Murmurs of your return started the moment Dina found out, then it spread like wildfire. All of it feels just like yesterday but the spring of her youth is a far cry away, just dust and bones to be found on the ashes of adolescence.  

If the world was perfect, Abby could avoid all of this. 

Maybe if her life had turned out the way she envisioned. 

But it didn’t and neither did yours. Not as of late. Although Abby had to be tightlipped about it, business and pleasure entangled, all of that nonsense floating around her pretty head. A voice she once thought she had forgotten comes back with a violent need to be recognized, a calming notion before it punches her in the gut. 

Not to mention, she just had to be on your father’s payroll, had to face the person she was never good enough for. All of it feels nauseating. Excruciating. 

Reminder of a wound she’s never recovered from. Memories high and low come flooding, and with you in her line of vision, it only gets worse. 

Way fucking worse. 

“What is she doing back?” 

“As if anyone would want her here.” 

“Abby, was she even supposed to be here?” 

The questions pile along with the bile collecting in the back of Abby’s throat. The pit in her stomach manifests a black hole, feeling herself succumb to the spin of everyone’s empty threats spilling from her friends to you. Abby can tell just by the way you’re downing the glass of champagne and picking up the next, coming here wasn’t your choice.

If you could have helped it, you would have never come back in such a public setting.  

“Abby, are you listening?” She sighs, but still unable to take her eyes off you. 

“Do I need to rea—” 

“Yeah yeah, all of you hate them. I get it.” 

“It’s not that simple. They aren’t good for you.”

There’d been murmurs through the small town of your return. That’s what happens when your mom gets sick, you come home and that you did. The anniversary of your parents, forty years strong, is the first public appearance. The absence of your brother’s appearance isn’t talked about, it’s brushed over, just like everything else, just like you. 

“Yep, I got it.” 

“I’m just looking out for you. They don’t appreciate you and—” Abby shoots her a knowing glare, annoyed with the intrusion of everyone thinking they knew best instead of herself. 

“Yeah, like I said, I hear you, but you don’t fucking know her. Neither do I, certainly not anymore.” 

Running a hand through her blonde-glistening locks, the sunset saturates her golden as she ignores Hazel, taking a sip of her beer as she takes you in. Everyone always has shit to say about you. Your parents, her friends, Abby’s parents, but no one really knows you. 

It’s not easy for you to let people in, you seem as harsh as can be to others, but Abby knows you’re quite the opposite. 

Different from everyone in the room, a polished cream suit and open collared button up shirt with your delectable collarbones exposed, your rings twinkle as you pet the husky, one you don't know belongs to Abby. If you did, your hand might feel repelled. 

It’s what you always wanted. A life out of here, out of the small town where you’ve always felt judged, persecuted, even ostracized when you came out — and you succeeded — leaving Abby behind in the process. Even if you didn’t intend to, it sort of just…happens. We leave the ones we love behind, even if it’s our last possible intention. 

Goodbye notions simmer and we forget about the love we once had. 

“Hazel, Dina was asking for you, she mentioned needing some help finding JJ’s pacifier?” 

“On it!” Abby chuckles as the cherry-haired girl flees into the other direction as Ellie laughs harder when she’s gone. 

“You’re welcome. She's like a dog with a bone when it comes to your beautiful ex-girlfriend.” 

“Watch it. Calling another woman beautiful, Dina might just skin you alive.” 

“Nope. She loves me too much.” 

Ellie chuckles as they watch you down another glass of champagne. Freeing your hair from the tight bun, your hair springs to life as it falls around your shoulders, framing your jawline as piercing eyes find the weeds poking through the freshly cut grass. 

A few people had offered up a sloppy introduction, a grievance of pity, before returning to their groups. Anxiously, you tear at the loose thread on the cuff of your sleeve. It gets longer and longer, avoiding everyone watching you. 

Pretending you don’t exist. You never do. Not in this wretched town where all dreams get sucked into a bottomless pit, where believers go to die. 

Abby nods, the feeling builds in the pit of her stomach as she yearns to get closer to you. Even after all the hurtful insults thrown her way years back, she’s conflicted. A missile is thrown into her life with your arrival and all of her friends, besides Ellie, tell her not to fall back into old patterns. Not to fall for your charm, not to be a victim to reckless love. 

The kind that left her empty for years. Abby knew the moment she fell, from the very first time they met, if you ever left her she’d never be the same again. You don't forget a love like this. It tears a hole within you before you even get a chance to think about it, their presence consuming your entirety, an empty promise of endless salvation dies on the tip of your tongue. 

Impossible shoes to ever be filled. 

Truly, Abby thought she had been in love before you, but she wasn’t. The feeling she’s been chasing for the rest of her life returns when she looks at you. Those bright eyes when you play with the pup, the gentle hand as your scrap his chin with the crescent of your blunt nails. 

She feels more looking at you for one moment than anyone she’s dated after you. 

It’s sickening. 

Still, her friends ridicule her any chance they get. Telling her of what you’re like, how you hurt her, what you’ll do when your claws sink into Abby. It falls on a hyper fixated heart. She can’t think of anything when all the blood comes rushing to her head, how beautiful you look when she sees you anxiously biting your bottom lip, something you do when you’re attempting to stop the tears from spilling. 

None of them knew what it meant to look in your eyes and wonder how someone so good couldn’t recognize the purity in your eyes, the love you give out when the world feels like it’s crumbling around you. They didn’t see the years of torture, the family that wasn’t so perfect, the anger you held wound so tight. You didn’t have anywhere to put it. Never could. Not when the image of the perfect daughter is meant to be upheld. 

Not a soul knows the information Abby does. There’s nothing more you love than to hide in the shadows, hoping to be forgotten, how you nearly crave to be eaten alive if it means an end to your misery. It isn’t lost on her how much she wants to shield you from it all. 

“Why don’t you go and talk to her?” 

Ellie points the glass of wine she’s been nursing to you, watching as you excuse yourself into the empty guest house. Your body is still viewable through the tall glass windows, your body disappearing from the common area of the small home. The exact one she’s been renovating per your mother’s request. 

“She’ll just—” Absentmindedly, Abby kicks the dirt with the toe of her boot, rooting her heel in the ground as she bites the wall of her gums, trying to center herself. Attempting to not let her mind wander into what if’s, what could have been. 

“What? Figure out you’re scared?” 

“I’m not scared.” Sighing into the palm of her hands as she can’t help but bite into Ellie’s comment, “It’s been years. For all I know, Cherry hates my guts. Not that it fucking matters, but I’m the last person they want to talk to. Plus, when she’s upset the last thing they want is to talk.”  

“You’ll do just fine, can’t be too bad. They were always sweet on you.” 

“It’s been years, Hazel’s right, in some sense I—” 

“Please, even you know the only thing she wants is to get in your pants. That part is lost on me, you’re too beefy for my taste.”

“Some people like that, dick.” 

“Your girlfriend sure did.” 

“Ex-girlfriend.” 

The rest of the night Abby avoids all of her friends, especially the meddling junkie, Hazel; fucking hazel. She wouldn’t let her rest. They never had done more than share a friendly hug and for some reason she always looked at Abby like she hung all the stars spreading across the galaxy. 

“Are you going to let Hazel think she has a chance forever?” 

Abby just shakes her head in omission. 

“There’s no chance, I’m not—” 

“Abby! I got you a glass of lemonade. Sweet with just a few cubes of ice, just the way you like it!” Ellie wiggles her eyebrows at Abby as if she has proved her point. 

As soon as Hazel turns around, Ellie goes right back to the pitch of her ex-girlfriend, trying to sell Abby on the past. The only woman Dina and her had liked in her mess of a dating scene. A long line of hookups, one serious relationship that ended so horrifically the cops had to be called, and then there was Hazel. A naive girl who had been harboring a crush for nearly a year, the time Dina had adopted her into their little makeshift family. 

You walk out of the guest house more comfortably. A pair of dark denim and a black graphic tee with the sleeves cut off. Abby smiles at how much you look like the woman she fell in love with, the youthful ache she still feels with every beat of her heart. The one you crushed in the palm of her hands without thinking twice. 

Abby’s throat constricts when you catch her staring, quickly looking away, biting at your fingernails before your father introduces you to the new neighbors. 

“What’s so important, Hazel?” Ellie bites. 

Hazel ignores her. All she can see is Abby looking right at you. 

Abby had realized she completely zoned out, her energy and focus harbored on you. Five minutes within your arrival and her head was already feeling the rapid hum of her heartbeat caught in the bottom of her throat as you looked at her again, just for a second longer before you turned the other direction, away from her gaze. 

“Abby—” 

Abby hums absentmindedly with you on her mind, infecting her thoughts like a former addict getting their first fix for years. The high. It feels even better than her mind could remember. The curious gaze in bright eyes feels intoxicating, too good to be true, and the fall feels higher than it ever was to begin with. 

“Yeah?” 

“She’s coming over here.” 

It only takes a few minutes before Abby takes a swig at her beer, wipes the sweat collecting on the palm of her hands. When you get closer, she notices the engraving of A.A. engraved on a glimmering silver ring. 

Did you keep it after all this time? 

“Tell her to leave—” 

“Hazel, for the love of god, would you shut your mouth?” Ellie barks as you make your way over to Abby. 

Abby tries to make her resolve hard, icy even, but it’s not. Her electrified blue eyes are warm, full of curiosity and wonder, her freckled cheeks are flushed from the heat of the sun and her barely there grin has you offering one of your own. 

“Abigail, hey.” 

Abby is surprised you hug her and she doesn't want to accept but it feels too rude not to. But the second her arms envelop around your body you fit perfectly into her. Just like all those years ago, you’re everything she loves. Like no time has passed, as if you didn’t rip her heart and stump out the love it once held. 

“It’s just Abby now.” Hazel interjects. 

“Sorry, I didn’t know, Abby, right.” 

“How could you? You’d have to be around—” 

Ellie gently elbows Hazel in the stomach, trying to silence her best efforts to scare you away from the treasury stock of a blonde she believes to be hers. 

“Abby, sorry. I’m just—” 

“You’ve always called me, Abigail. It’s alright. Promise.”

There she is. 

The charm that makes you fall when you don’t need to. It’s laughable that Abigail can make years of therapy, years of dating other people to get over her seem like a dream, as if it’d only just been the two of you all of this time. Like nothing had changed. 

But everything has. 

“Um, do you mind if we talk in private?” 

Abigail follows your lead into the empty house, the party rages outside as the two of you sit in the living room, neither of you knowing what way to take your best foot forward. 

“Sorry if I made things awkward with you and your girlfriend—” 

“Oh, uh, she’s not….we’re not dating or anything.” 

Shit. 

You wish she was. 

Abby doesn’t know what to think when the expression on your face wasn’t instant relief but instead turmoil within yourself. Your eyebrows furrowed as if you expected her to be in a relationship. It would leave you to escape from the overflow of feelings you had rushing through your core. 

“You look shocked.” 

“I just—” You bite your lip, looking anywhere but her, trying to put your best foot forward, like your father says, he’s the whole reason this conversation is even happening. “I can’t lie, it would have made this…easier? I don’t know what the fuck I’m doing.” 

“What are you trying to do?” Abby has a bubbly laugh threatening to burst but she swallows it for the sake of your dignity. 

“Okay, well that’s not nice.” 

“Do you want me to be?” 

“Well, my dad he just thought that—” 

“Wait, you’re talking to me because of your dad?” Abby stands up from the couch, rubbing her hands over her flushed face. “Not even because it’s been years, but because — well, why?” 

“He was just encouraging me. I’m nervous, isn’t that fucking obvious? I can’t even look at you without feeling like I’m eighteen again.” 

She’s standing at her tall height, looking down at you as you begin to cry. 

Well shit. 

“Hey, hey—” Abby sinks to the floor on her knees, her body between your legs. “C’mon, there’s no need for all of that.” 

“I hate that you haven’t changed.” 

“Did you want me to?” 

No, you say just to yourself. Not trusting the waver of your voice to give her the truth. There’s always so much on the line with her. Everything feels heavy, final, an anchor to hold you down but also drag everything you are, tangled with her sweet, honey-filled baby blues. 

“Can’t you be mean to me or something? Even the playing field a little bit.” 

“Not even a little, sweetheart. We both know I never could.” Her fingertips trace your forearm, a shiver courses throughout your body, “I will admit, everyone says I should.” 

“They’re right. I deserve it.” 

“If we all got what we deserved, well, that would be such an ugly world, wouldn’t it? Just because you did something hurtful doesn’t make you cruel. It makes you human.” 

“But I do deserve the cruelty.” 

“Fine, I hate you.” Abby says with a smirk on her face, wiping away a stray tear, looking too fondly on the woman who broke her heart. She’s too kind for her own good. 

The giggle Abby omits rivals sunshine. 

“I just didn’t want it to affect the work on the house, everything between us, it’s complicated and I’ll be in the guest house while my mom’s—” 

“I know, you don’t have to say it. Your dad may have mentioned it to me. I’m sorry, I truly am.” 

“I am too. For everything. I shouldn’t have left the way I did. I was so young, scared, and I wanted you to hate me. It just seemed easier than having you actually miss me.” 

“I did miss you.” Abby's warm palm might as well be burning your denim jeans through as she touches your thigh. “You could have done the worst thing imaginable and I still would have. I’ve never had, uh, reason with you I guess. Love doesn’t know scorn, like a child with a knife, even if you can get hurt — sometimes it’s worth it.” 

The stars in her blue eyes hold the same light in them, too full of love, her older and refined spirit lays beneath them and she has become someone you have even more love for. It’s too damning. Abigail Anderson has always been more than you can handle, always outshining everyone in this small town even if she couldn’t see it for herself. 

“I’m surprised you came back for them, you know, after everything.” 

It’s not just them. 

“They say she doesn’t have a lot of time, so—” You sigh heavily into your palms, “And that’s not your problem, but thank you for being so cool about everything. Maybe we can be friends?” 

“Yeah, maybe.” Abby knows neither of you can’t. It’s never worked out that way. It’s all or nothing and she’s always been the all-in type of girl. She loves big, not caring if her own heart gets trampled in the process. 

Her love blinds like the sun, but it settles over your heart like the moonlight kissing the waves — you just hope the tide is strong enough to bring you home.

❝ ⋮ ⌗ ┆𝐚𝐜𝐭 𝐭𝐰𝐨: 𝐥𝐢𝐤𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐬𝐮𝐧, 𝐲𝐨𝐮’𝐥𝐥 𝐜𝐨𝐦𝐞 𝐚𝐫𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐝 ❞

The first few weeks back at home felt like a breath of fresh air. As much as you disdained being home, the cracks of your family nearly breaking you in the process, you had her. 

Even if you didn’t really have her. 

The definite silence was not so, Abby still soaked in her warm heart, the one you hoped she kept. The best part of her. She’s too kind, even when you don’t deserve it, she still freely gives it. 

It bleeds into her work. 

Clearly, your father was more than fond of her. Several occasions they would be chumming it up, your father even grilling a few patty hamburgers up for them both when the clock struck noon. They always did love her, possibly even more than you, but to say they were devastated about the break would be a tragic understatement. 

Get her back. 

She’s a prize in this town. 

Abigail Anderson is the best you can do, you’re not doing better than Dr. Anderson’s daughter. 

But you never did try. You trusted the universe as a sign given. The people driving you out of this town sided with the woman you had broken up with, so you left and didn’t look back twice. 

Yet, she did, in more ways than you were even aware of. 

Because of her stupidly built physique, you couldn’t stop looking. 

Anchored into the heat, her muscles constrict as she helps the crew demo the tile of the master suite, the last touch of the renovation needs. Besides the final paint job in the guest house, Abby had finished it all. In all honesty, Abby was hoping all of it would be complete by the time you arrived back in town. Being around you on a daily basis, her friends telling her it’s only a matter of time before she’s back in your arms, it feels like a slap in the face. 

As if she has no self restraint. 

To be fair, she doesn’t. 

Abby’s gone to lunch with you three times, had coffee with you once, and she exhibits her obsessive memory — still having your order memorized — even if it's the most pathetic thing you’ve ever heard of. She still finds herself stuck between your teeth like cotton candy. 

It’s all friendly, supposedly, but it’s the easiest thing to slip back. 

Old habits do die hard. 

Right now, you’re just watching her work. 

You’ve been doing it a lot lately. 

Out of habit, nervousness, maybe it’s the anxiety flooding through your bloodstream. All of this feels erasable. Too much thrown at you, with her, it always happens to be too irreplaceable. 

The ghost you’ve been running from, the one that hides in the shadow, even if you’ve tried to stay on the path you’ve created. Dug from the ashes of all your failures, she’s the one thing you haven’t made right. The nights where you got too drunk, nearly texting her or calling her, the picture you still curated in a specific folder, the one you would look for when you’re the weakest. 

Being back in your hometown, the first person who ever truly loved you, it feels suffocating. 

It doesn’t help that she looks so good. Or that she’s even kinder. The love in her eyes is even more whole-hearted than they were ten years ago. Part of you tells yourself you couldn’t even help yourself if you tried. This is just how it’s supposed to be. The heartbreaker pining for the woman’s heart you shattered into pieces. 

All it took, a few cups of coffee and Abby taking you to lunch and paying — it feels awfully like a date but you keep your mouth shut. Her being present in your life is already confusing enough; the added weight would just be unbearable. 

But after today, you won’t see her again. Painting the final room in the guest house is the last duty she has to fulfill and the renovation is done on your parent’s property. The ache in the pit of your stomach is unsettling as you attempt to simmer through and wonder why the pain becomes so deep. As if the woman in front of you was scorning you alive. 

“You need something or are you gonna stare at me all day?” 

You watch Abby throw the paint roller back in the tray, running the brush in the sage green, before turning the attention back to the wall, waiting for you to respond. 

“No, I wasn’t staring.” Abby chuckles at that. 

Chuckles. 

“Yeah, sure.” 

If you could see her pouty lips, you’re sure that they’d be pulled into a smirk. Lately, she’s been enjoying this too much. Catching you staring at her for too long, biting the precious bottom lip of yours as she’s putting her muscles to work or when you caught her peeling the sweaty tank of her body for a new one, every inch of her skin glowing in the wake of the blistering sun. 

Her abdomen, toned with a not so subtle four pack, her v-line defined as it disappears into her jeans. It’s sickening. Really. It is. She catches your self control slipping through the cracks, dignity along with it as you give in to her adonis-like physique. 

The shock going through your body, going completely still as Abby just chuckles, winking at you before she goes about her day. Like it was nothing, like this is a normal occurrence for her. You’re not sure what thought made you feel even more sick. 

Women fawning over her or what happened after. 

But you didn’t have a right, you know you didn’t. 

You swallowed the unflattering buzz of sweeping jealousy until you couldn’t feel in anymore. It’s not an emotion you even deserve to feel. While the two of you had been getting closer the longer you spent with each other, you knew your boundaries well enough to know you still weren’t there, you never would be. 

The ghosts from your past made damn sure of it. 

“I can pose for you if you’re going to keep looking.” 

“I wasn’t—” 

Abby wipes the mixture of sweat, oils, and paint on the pair of old blue-denim. She lets her blonde hair out of the bun she wore, despite the icy temperature, her body runs warm. 

“It’s okay to admit it.” 

“Admit what?” Suddenly you become defensive, arms crossing over your chest. 

“That you’re still attracted to me.” Abby takes your curves in and nearly blows a low whistle, “You’re awful at hiding it.” 

“I-I’m not, this isn’t….you’re not, like, easy to look at, you know? Uh, ummm….” 

Standing there like an idiot as you struggle to get the words out, nearly impossible to get them released, your mouth staggering, unable to even keep them shut as Abby stalks you, your body pressed against the kitchen counter, the new one she installed days ago. 

Nothing comes out on the way you intend it to. Fuck. Did you offend her? 

“I’m not?” 

She whispers into your ear, her lips ghosting your skin. A free hand plays with the buckle of your belt before she pulls you closer by the fastened leather. It’s soft to the touch, making her want to sink her teeth into you, until her canines break the surface of your skin, claiming you as hers once again. 

Abby thinks about removing it off you, bending you over the counter and punishing you for it or even fastening the belt around your neck, pulling you along until you’re right where she pleases. The craving in the pit of her belly only stirs into an unmanageable peace the longer you stand there — squirming with satisfaction — waiting to be put out of your misery. 

Golden locks tickle your jaw, the static energy radiating off of her shocks your skin, goosebumps come alive on every inch of you as she makes her presence known. One fact you haven’t been able to shake, Abby Anderson is a force to be reckoned with. Ten years, ten full years, and your life means nothing now that she’s right in front of you. 

“Abigail, I don’t really think this is a good idea.” Abby waits for you to push her away, but instead you place your hands around her forearms but she’s so big, and it’s intoxicating that she stands taller than you. Her biceps the size of your head, veins protruding as she flexes, as if it didn’t make matters worse. 

“Then why don’t you just admit it?” Abby presses her pelvis even closer to yours and you wonder if you’re hallucinating the barely-there kiss to below your ear. “You want me just as much as you did back then. Ten years apart won’t change that. You still care about me, even though you wish you didn’t, you do.” 

“Abigail, we can’t go there, we both are—” 

“What? I’ve always been a patient girl. I can wait.” Loudly, you groan as she peppers kisses down your neck, before scratching at her skin, when she kisses the one spot behind your ear she certainly didn’t forget about. 

Abby digs her teeth in as you hiss, she enjoys the thrill of your soft whimpers, she’s barely started and you’re giving her just what she needs. The two of you know it, there isn’t a fix for this, the thread of a craving pulls until it’s fed. 

“Oh–” 

Rough hands hoist you on the counter top as she slots herself between your thighs, her frame protecting you as if you were a wild animal trying to be saved from extinction. The greed in Abby’s palm finds salvation when she touches exposed skin, silk to the touch — it doesn’t feel quite as sinful as she’s been told. 

She should hate you, right? 

You hurt her, didn’t look back twice, and you’ve never been the same. 

All of this is just a facade. The life you have, the future you always dreamed of building is thousands of miles from here and she just doesn’t fit within it anymore, everyone tells her she never did. A missing puzzle piece with a jagged edge, the more Abby tries to fit with your world, the further she pushes away. 

But she held onto the hope that your world no longer fit you and maybe — like a fool who believes in their first dream — she could be your world again. 

Sparkling, honey-blues dazzle their way into your heart once again, reminding you of everything you love, striking a reminder through your soul of just what you had hurt. The life you stole, the one you wanted to so desperately have but fear still swarms you. The memory doesn’t feel so distant, the past isn’t the past but lies as a reminder of the blood still staining your hands. 

With hesitance, you hold her full-freckled cheeks in your palms with a delicate hand, fearful any touch from you would burn her in the process. 

“Do you think this is a good idea?” You bite into the isolating air, threatening to swarm your soul but she finds you first. Abby’s warm breath feeds into the need blossoming like a seed rooted in soil, solidifying the growth of budding salvation. 

“I don’t know. Do you?” 

She’s so sweet on you, even as the trickle of poison burns her, Abby would gladly let it absorb every inch of her skin if it meant this. The wondrous arrival of a love once lost, her heart torn right down the middle. Unsure if giving into reason or a festered dream. 

It all grabs a hold of her the same, unwillingly to release her from the pure agony she feels when you’re not around. More dramatic than she intended it to be, the dagger once pushed through her heart, exerting every drop of blood until she felt unsatisfied iron saturating her tongue. 

She would even show gratitude if you let her. 

“Everything I think I know changes when you’re involved, so no, I don’t.” 

Leaning into your touch, Abby swears into the palm of your hand, her hands smooth over the fabric of your pants and your entire skin leaves a trail of fire anywhere her large, calloused hand scorns you. The weight of her love feels heavy, as it always has, but the temptation to carry every ounce of it is heavier than it’s been in years. 

With a terror in your chest, you blurt out the first thought entering you mind.  “You’ve aged really well, can barely tell you’re hitting thirty.” 

“Oh yeah? I can think of a few ways to show you.” 

Shit. 

A rapid heartbeat ready to burst, you’re not sure if it’s you or her. She’s inching closer, lips ghosting yours, her minty-ice breath makes home over yours. With a slight graze, you inhale a sharp breath, read for her to lean into you. 

Slam! 

“Am I interrupting something?” Immediately, you push Abby off of you, a judging pair of eyes scanning the two of you. 

The woman from the party looked like she could actually kill you with her bare hands. Then there’s Ellie sitting there grinning like the joker, one giggle away from sounding like the maniac himself. As if she was fully aware this would happen. The two of you are running off of pure animal instinct, unable to keep your hands off one another. 

“Abby? What’s going on?” The snip in the woman’s voice is evident, so is the possession she so clearly feels over your ex-girlfriend. The jealousy you feel over the thought sends an unwanted shiver up your spine. 

Then she’s looking at you, expecting you to disintegrate into nothing right in front of her. Like you had done something terribly wrong. 

Didn’t Abby say she’s single? 

“Chill out, Hazel.” Ellie rolls her eyes, smirking at the steam practically boiling out of Hazel’s ears. “Ready for that drink? Dina and Jesse are already waiting.” 

“Uh—” She looks back at you, avoiding eye contact with everyone. “Yeah, can you just give me a sec?” 

“But I really think we should—” 

“Down Hazel, god, you’re worse than a dog. They clearly were about to suck each other’s faces off. Move it.” 

Hazel clearly looks offended as she desperately looks at Abby, hoping for her to save a little bit of dignity but Abby just punches the bridge of her nose as Ellie escorts out an extremely frigid Hazel. 

Abby doesn’t miss the way the woman who has far too big of a crush on her tries to shoot daggers into you but you’re too busy focused on plucking your overgrown cuticles. 

As soon as the door shuts you bend over the counter, forehead pressed into the white marble of the island, settling for a frustrated groan even when you want to scream. 

“That bad, huh?” Abby stands behind you, watching as you lose it in front of her. 

“Your friends already hate me, was that really fucking needed?” 

There’s an itching, envious need to ask why Hazel seems to be protective over Abby, borderlining on obsession, but you keep your mouth tight lipped. Even if it’s the first thing ready to roll off your tongue. 

“They’re fine, Hazel is just—” 

“Protective.” You avoid her as she smirks, clearly enjoying the clear look of jealousy in your beautifully bright eyes. 

“Oh?” Abby is grinning, pearly whites shining as majestic as the moon. “I didn’t think you’d even feel like that about me.” 

As if it's instinct, she can’t stop how much she’s loving this. One moment of her lips on your skin and suddenly you want her all to yourself. Your head is spinning and her stupid, blue eyes won’t stop looking at you like a divine treasure. 

“I-I don’t know what to say.” 

You never did well with things out of your control, never really could. It’s why all of it ended the way it did. If you couldn’t somehow manipulate into what you wanted, it faded until you couldn’t hear it any longer. Abby faded into the noise, into your past, but maybe she is the noise and for the first time in ten years you can finally hear. 

“You don’t have to say anything but you can come with me.” 

“With your friends?” Abby nods. 

“All of your friends hate me and one looks like she might actually kill me. Why on earth would you think that’s a good idea?” 

“All of them are adults. They’ll handle just fine besides,  I want you there.” As soon as Abby says those words, your harsh seamer softens, rejection melts and dissipates from your vocabulary. She’s always been a difficult person to say no to. “You could use some social interaction, you don’t even leave this guest house.” 

“How did you know that?” 

“I have eyes?” Abby states it as more of a question, a giggle threatening to bubble out. 

“Oh god.” Abby laughs as she takes off her tool belt before finding her jacket and slipping it on her body. Grabbing her keys on the counter, looping the carabiner on the loop of her weathered denim. 

“Ready?”  

There’s a look of uncertainty in your eyes, nearly bleeding into an unwillingness to bend, but her words reassure you before you even get a chance to explain. As if she settled in your heart ten years ago and never left. 

“Don’t worry, okay? If anyone’s mean to you, I’ll set them straight, Cherry.” 

The nickname falls off her tongue, the sentiment hits you like a tsunami of emotion, bringing you back to every loving emotion she exposed to you for the first time. 

It shouldn’t cut you this deep but it will — she always will. 

❝ ⋮ ⌗ ┆𝐚𝐜𝐭 𝐭𝐡𝐫𝐞𝐞: 𝐥𝐨𝐯𝐞 𝐚𝐥𝐰𝐚𝐲𝐬 𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐧𝐠𝐞𝐬 𝐬𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐞 ❞

March 26th, 2013 

“C’mon dance with me!” Abby screams over the loud music of the party. Fluorescent lights, a disco ball and tequila raged through her body, the alcohol pumping through her veins as she finally mustered the liquid courage to talk with the girl she’s been crushing on all sophomore year. 

Her friends had been teasing her all night about it, but when the girl looked at her in disgust, shoulder checking her into oblivion, she couldn't help but take it to heart. Her blue eyes swell with tears, a waterfall raging within her as she makes her way to the bathroom, puking out her dinner at her father’s house. 

So much for prom night, right? 

Making a beeline for the bathroom, with yet another rejection to check off the list, stupid fucking after party she lied to her dad about going to. It’s all so stupid, of course Lacey wouldn’t be into someone like her. No one likes her, no one ever will, she’s just the lame screw up in this town who can’t like boys, not when the rest of the girls in the wretched town do. 

Even if her dad tells her, it’s what makes her special — it’s a bunch of horse shit. 

So, in the home of the girl she confessed her undying love for, she pukes her guts out in the bathroom until there’s a knock at the door and a soft yet concerned shout that follows. “Hey, are you okay? Sounds a little rough in there!” 

“Shit,  yeah, just one second…” Abby collects herself taking off her jacket as she rolls up the sleeves, residue of what she chucked up on the cuff of her shirt. Quickly, she rinses off and roles the sleeves up. 

Well, it didn’t get any more embarrassing than this. 

“Are you sure you’re alright? I can get someone it’s really not a pro—” 

Without a further beat, the door is swung open. Abby suspects to see someone she knows, but she doesn’t. It’s a fresh face and she’s never been more grateful. The eyeliner she thought Lacey would like was probably smudged all over her face, Abby had no doubt she probably resembled someone operating an oil rig of some kind. 

Just as Abby tries to talk, she feels another round come up and she runs to the toilet, sinking to her knees as more bile comes out. Way to go Anderson, you’ve managed to utterly humiliate yourself in front of two beautiful women tonight. Truly, there should be some type of an award for being the dumbest idiot on the planet. 

Somehow, she knows all of this will come back to bite her in the ass. There’s no way that she isn't the complete laughing stock of the high school until she walks across the stage in two years with a diploma on hand. Whoever you are, you’re sure you’ll tell the entire town. 

A stupid pathetic lesbian who can’t have one good night to save her life. 

One of the most important nights of her life. 

But she doesn’t hear a mockery laugh, a snide comment…she isn't even met with pure disgust. The third and fatal option. There’s a comforting hand on her back, reassuring her everything will be just fine, the other holding her hair into  a makeshift ponytail, ensuring there isn't a single strand getting tied into the mess of her sickness. 

By the time Abby’s done, she feels even more humiliated, her body running hot, cheeks aflame but you’re already running warm water underneath the towel folded on the shelf above the toilet. Kneeling down again, you angle her by the jaw, wiping the residue off her lips and you carefully wash away the black eyeliner smeared all over her freckled-cheeks. 

For a second, Abby notices you staring at her pouty lips but she doesn’t say a word about it. 

Turned out so wonderful the first time…

“Here!” You pull from your pocket, a pack of red labeled gun, cherry flavored, and pull out one piece wrapped in paper-tin foil. “For your, you know, breath.” 

“Is this your nice way of telling me I have bad breath?” Abby teases, one moment with a pretty stranger, and she already felt more like herself. Abby takes a piece of gum, unraveling the piece before shoving the strip into her mouth. 

“Well, you did puke.” 

Regretfully she chews as the taste turns sweet instead of mint, her face contorts in rejection but still she chews. It’s not exactly what she had in mind. 

“You don’t like Cherry flavored? That’s just bad taste!” You grab a piece of gum for yourself, throwing the piece of paper in the trash, consuming it wholeheartedly, almost moaning as you put on a show. 

“Whatever you say, Cherry.” The sun might as well be shining on you from just how warm you feel. Heat rising in your heart, blossoming through your chest, thriving from the attention of the sun, 

“Hey! That’s not fair. I don’t know your name.” 

“Well, I don’t know yours either…” Abby hints, tilting her head to the side with a smirk the size of Texas. For once, she finds this easy, talking to a pretty girl, flirting with a pretty girl — proving it didn’t always have to be so hard to have something this good. 

“Call me Cherry, it’s better than my real one, trust me.” You smile sweetly, fully willing to rot each tooth if it means you could feel like this. “What’s yours?” 

“Abigail.” 

The two of you just stare at each other like idiots, two losers, two outcasts and all of it started to make sense. Every heartache dealt out by careless handlers of the heart, each person who made you feel small, unworthy, who knew all of it could be healed by looking into the brightest pair of blue eyes, the warmest, full of honey and marvelous wonder. 

It feels wonderful, being this close to a feeling, a lover's dream in the sunshine of spring, kissing shoulders never exposed to the brightful joy, freckles sprouting like bees flees to honey. One more kiss of sunshine until the sweetness falls on your tongue, guiding you to the spirit of love and everything you ever lost. 

One person, one perfect person who makes your youth scream of joy again. Jumping off a cliff, plummeting into the cool ocean without second thought, hoping they’ll be there to jump off it with you. Even if it takes a lifetime of waiting — you’d wait your entire life for her. 

As long as she’s in the sun, freckles being painted by pure light, you’d soak in the sun right along with her. 

“Thank you.” She squeaks out the words so small, you nearly miss it. 

“There’s no need for thanking. Just doing the right thing s’all.” Your smile is so sweet, Abby nearly feels every part of her body rotting with sugar. “Do you wanna talk about it?” 

“There was just this girl and I really thought she liked me but she really didn’t and I have this thing where I get a lot of anxiety or nervous I kind of just puke. It’s totally lame, god, I can’t wait to get out of this place.” 

“Me too. High school sucks.” You agree with her, offering a small smile as you finish cleaning her up. “But she’s totally lame for not seeing how great you are.” 

Abby tries not to blush, but she can’t hit the crimson swell painting the apples of her cheeks and the tips of her ears. “Did you try to kiss her or something?” 

“I didn’t really get that far, she wouldn’t even dance with me. Not here, not prom, guess I’m not cool enough for her.” Pushing the metal frame of her glasses up her nose, trying to stop herself from biting into her blunt nails, nearly drawing blood. Now that she’s come down from her puking fest, she sees how beautiful you are. The kind of beauty that would bring her to her knees if Abby wasn’t already there. 

“Cool is overrated. Who cares about being cool? We’re all losers trying to figure it out.” You say it as if it’s the most obvious statement in the world, as if you’re confident in exactly who you want to be. Abby is envious of it. She wonders what it’s like to be so free — to not wonder what everyone is constantly thinking about you — if you’re good enough. 

You don’t seem to care. 

“If you still wanna dance, I’d dance with you. We can be losers together.” You offer up to her as you stand to your feet, offering a hand up to her and she takes it willingly. You grab the jacket to her suit, helping her slip into it and she smoothes the jacket over her frame. 

“You really don’t have to—” But you look at her with the most absurd gaze of refusal, eyebrows furrowed as it makes this cute little line between them.  Abby can’t help but admire it. 

“Oh, we’re going to fucking dance and show whoever this bitch is just what she’s missing.” 

Present day. 

There’s a lot to be said for how you let yourself succumb to her again, it didn’t take much, just a batting of blonde eyelashes and irresistible pouty lips and you’d fallen victim to Abigail Anderson. The hardest thing you’ve ever done was leave her. All these years later, you’re right back to where you were before all of this had started. 

It seems to shock all of her friends when the two of you walk on together and even more shocking when Abby throws her arm behind you, engaging in conversation here and there. Mostly, you tune out the conversation and mindlessly sip on the beer in front of you. 

Hazel isn’t happy about the predicament, cold brown eyes sport a simmering guidance of rage as she watches Abby’s fingers on your shoulder tracing random patterns into your skin. The arrival of your presence in turn makes her take jabs at you all night. Even with your silence, it doesn’t stop her, and when you have no visceral reaction she finally goes for something that brings silence around the entire table. 

“Why are you even here? Breaking Abby’s heart wasn’t enough the first time? Why don’t you run back to your sick mother and stop playing with people just because it’s fun for you.” Hazel bites and you feel the swarm of your tears begin to build and she keeps going, “Isn’t that why you came back? Not because you actually care but because your mom is going to die.” 

“Sorry, excuse me—” Hazel scoffs as you slither away and head towards the bathroom. As if she’s accomplished, she sips on her margarita, like what she just did was a service to everyone here. 

Ellie and Dina sit there in shock, trying to process what the fuck had just happened. Jesse sits there silently, discomfort written all over his face. But Abby? She’s filled with a soaring hot rage, face flushed violet as her knuckles turn white. Hazel immediately shrinks into the booth, unprepared for what’s about to happen. 

She thought Abby would be happy, kicking someone who so wrongly hurt her to the curb. You didn’t deserve her. You never would. Hazel deserves you. She’s been here, waiting for Abby to see her and love her, not you. 

“What the fuck is your problem? Cherry wasn’t even doing a goddamn thing and you’ve been attacking them all damn night.” Abby’s rage is palpable, steaming to the touch, and nothing like any of them have ever seen. 

“I did this for you! She treated you horribly! She broke your heart! She deserves it.” 

Abby pinches the bridge of her nose, tossing her head against the wall, “This has got to fucking stop. Cherry broke up with me goddamn ten years ago and it’s none of your business.” Hazel could practically see the steam rolling off her before Abby raised her voice even more, “You didn’t have a right to bring up her mom regardless of whatever happened. Jesus, if I want to be around her or want Cherry around, everyone here is just going to have to fucking deal.” 

“Abby, we’re just trying to look out for you. Cherry only ever thinks about herself.” 

“Well fucking don’t. I can handle myself despite whatever you think I can deal with. Stay the fuck away from her or you’ll live to regret it.” 

Throwing a twenty on the table to cover her tab, she finds you washing your face, trying to get rid of the puffiness in your eyes. When you see her, you turn her away, a lame attempt to stop her from seeing you like this. 

Weak. Overbearing. A winded rush pressing on your lungs, struggling to breathe — you didn’t need any of this. Not to be back right where it all destroyed you. Then here she is, the living reminder of your transgressions, your failure, the one thing you couldn’t fix. 

All roads lead to her. All of it is sick and twisted. The look of love pierces through your soul, scouring through the place you keep hidden under lock and key; the part that still loves her. 

It demands attention. To be heard. To be seen. To violate you and your dreams, to place her before everything else. A violent reminder of how all of this started. Before you could catch up with the tide, everything flips, your entire life becomes a reflection of what you feared. 

Abby has her life together and yours is coming apart. 

Everyone hates you for what you become. For how little you cared about leaving the first twenty years of your life behind, a chapter closed and discarded as if it never existed to you in the first place. 

“Let me take you home, alright? I’m sorry for Hazel she’s—” 

“It’s fine.” You cut her off, drying your eyes, or trying to but you can’t stop crying in the first place. “It was stupid of me to agree to this.” 

“You aren’t stupid, sorry, she was being a cunt. It won’t happen again. I won’t let it happen.” 

Abby carefully wipes your tears away, “Hey, let’s get out of here. Yeah? My place is just up the street. Just the two of us.” 

You nod as Abby leads you out, her palm feels welcoming in your grip, a homecoming you have been dying to feel. Her touch feels warm, perfect as her fingers interlock with your own. Like no time has passed, it’s easy for you to slip back into her grasp. 

Everything about her feels right. When she helps you get in her truck, the old one her father always wanted to renovate and it seems she did just that. The ride is only a couple minutes before she’s parking in the garage of her home. She opens the door for you, a hand on your back as she leads you towards the door leading into her house. 

What you expect to be a farmhouse, a hint of southern barn meets boho chic, but you’re met with something else entirely. 

It’s exactly what she talked about building growing up. Everything else feels modern except the cherry red kitchen with white accents and marble countertops. There’s cherries everywhere, but it’s subtle enough to the naked eye, you wouldn’t blink twice.

The memory comes back to you in a hot flash, one you weren’t fond of. 

“We can have it all. I’ll buy you a damn house, I’ll give you whatever you want, whatever you need, I want this, Cherry. More than I’ve ever wanted anything. I love you, please, can’t you see a future with both of us?” 

“But I don’t want to be here. You know that! My dad can hardly look at me because I’m with a woman, my mom tries but she doesn’t understand. Is this the kind of life you want? They remind me that I’m not good enough. Who I love isn’t good enough, not if I’m not with a man. Can you understand I’m dying to get out of this nothin’ town?” 

Abby gnaws at her bottom lip, teeth drawing blood as she sees you drawing within yourself. Pulling back at the first sign of hardship. Even Abby wonders if she’s worth fighting for. 

“You mean dying to get away from me? I’m in this nothin’ town you despise so much.” 

“Abigail, you’re taking words out of my mouth, that’s not what I’m saying.” 

“You just want to leave and I don’t.” You look at her, her adorable pout in a frown, arms she’s been bulking for the past couple years begin to show definition. The freckles she hates grew more prominent on her skin as she spent the summer working for father’s construction company. 

Her life is here, her future is here, but for once since the two of you met, your own two different paths and no matter how much you love her — it just won’t work. 

“We’re eighteen! Our entire lives are in front of us. I can’t stay here, Abigail. I just can’t. I dream of a big city, somewhere my stories will take me places, a life that I can’t find here.” 

“You got the scholarship, didn’t you?” Abby barks, her chest puffing out, jaw clenching as she pleads for you to tell her the truth. “Tell me the truth. You’ve been lying to me, hoping I’d change my mind?” 

“I wasn’t lying. I just—” 

“What? You were just going to leave one morning and never come back? Like I mean nothing to you?” Abby removes her glasses to pinch the bridge of her nose. “Like the past two years have just been what? A way for you to pass time until your real life comes along. Fucking great.” 

“I told you from the start, I want more. I need to do more! No one gets into NYU around here and certainly not on a scholarship. I have a chance for a real future, a way out from my parents, a new life, I’ve always wanted this. You know I have.” 

“And I’ve always wanted you.” 

Silence engulfs the room, a pindrop could be heard, the tension could be cut with a knife but Abby sees the wall closing around you. Covering her from the heart you slowly opened up to her, what she fought tooth and nail for. She always fought for you but it’s hard to do anything when you don’t believe this is worth saving. 

“You don’t even have the decency to ask me.” 

“What?” 

“You just want to write me off. You lump me with everyone else because you don’t even give me the chance.” 

“What are you saying?” 

Abby’s blue eyes turn into ice, all the warmth void as the chill sends a shiver down your spine. Her throat feels tight, like even if she swallows her own spit she’ll choke. 

“Do you love me enough to make this work?” Abby flinches when you don’t immediately answer, because she knows where she stands, she would follow you across the world if it meant that’s what you wanted. To make you happy. But she can’t help but feel like she’s splitting herself apart for someone who doesn’t care in the way she does. 

With tears in your eyes, they cascade down your cheek before whispering to her, “I don’t.” 

“Get. Out.” She murmurs through clenched teeth, using the sleeve of her t-shirt, one you gifted her, to wipe away the tears that wouldn’t stop coming. The overflow of the heartache racked through her body like she’s never felt before. 

You don’t love her. You don’t love her. You never loved her. 

“Abs, please, don’t make me leave like this. Can we talk about this?” 

“What’s there to fucking talk about? We don’t love me, Cherry. What else is there to fucking say?” 

You nearly scream, not sure why anything you’re saying isn’t coming out the way you intended it to. “You’re not listening to me I—” 

“Right. You just need to find a man, right? God, you’re just like Lacey.” 

“What the fuck did you just say to me?” You bite, and if looks could kill, Abby would be dead right now. She’s struck a nerve, the memory of sophomore year comes flooding back to her, back when all of this started. “God, fuck you. How could you possible compare me to the straight girl that pulled you along because what she really wanted was Daniel Collins to fuck her so stupid she ended up pregnant junior year.” 

“You’re leaving, when your back is pressed up against a wall, you’ll always leave, Cherry.” 

“But I—” You stop yourself before you could speak the forbidden words, the ones you’ve said to her a million times, the one you just refuted that you did even if she can usually call you right on your bullshit. But you’ve diluted her sense of reasoning and all she hears is her girlfriend of two years just told her she doesn't love her. 

“You what? What other lies are you going to tell me?” 

“Fine.” Your expression turns stone cold, “Let’s both be done with it then. There’s nothing left to fight for.”  

Prideful ego gets in the way of what Abby wants and she finally lets her head speak for her, “Sounds good to me.” 

“Are you alright?” Abby asks but then she notices you’re just staring at her kitchen and she’s never been so self-conscious in her life. She didn’t even think about it, she’s so used to others seeing it but it’s different when your muse is taking in the craft you created with them in mind. 

“Oh, right, the cherries.” She stutters out, scratching the back of her neck as she turns the lights on. It smells of vanilla and something oak, just like she smelled in high school. To others it may seem boring but it’s refreshing to know she’s still the same as she was. 

“You still did it?” 

“Yeah, it’s kinda lame honestly, maybe I should have done something else but nothing ever fit right with the rest of the house so.” Abby pops open a beer, somehow needing to have some type of liquor while you gawk at the work she created with you in mind. “If I’m being honest, I think it was just a way for me to hold onto you. I sure didn’t think I would ever see you again.” 

“Me neither.” You answered truthfully, the loss of Abby rattled you, even though you were better at hiding it. Losing her is still the most painful loss you had to endure, which she considers fortunate, but not fortunate enough. “I always thought about what would have happened if I hadn’t been so headstrong. I think I had to convince myself in order to leave, I would have stayed here for you if not.” 

“I find that hard to believe.” Even if she pretends not to be, Abby’s still bitter. 

“Why?” 

“You always knew what you wanted out of life and that wasn’t me.” Abby chews on her bottom lip again, picking the label of the beer before taking another swig. “Hell, you left before I even got a chance to say goodbye.” 

“What?” Eyebrows scrunched in confusion as you take a step forward, “Did you come to the house?” 

“Of course I did. I wasn’t going to leave things like that. Did you not—” 

“No, I didn’t know, I thought that was it. I didn’t expect there to be more for my sake.” 

The way she looks at you feels like she’s peering into her soul, the way she sees you so clearly, better than anyone ever has, chilling you to your core. Bits and pieces of your love located in eyes that glimmer only for her, light electrified the moment your sights are set on her. 

It feels like falling in love with a broken melody. 

You admire the imperfections instead of leaving at the bridge. 

“I waited on your porch for hours but then your parents came home, saying they just had gotten back from dropping you off.” 

In a matter of moments, your entire world feels flipped, like everything you had known for the last ten years, a terrible lie you wished to never know. A nightmare you would hope to wake up from. That’s all this was, you would wake up in her father’s home as you fought in the kitchen, you convince yourself not to let go of the best thing that’s ever happened to you. 

“You came back for me?” 

Closing the space between the two of you, grabbing her beer and placing it on the countertop. Abby takes an intake of breath as you invade every part of her personal space. As corny as it sounds, you do smell of cherries. So sweet, her bones feel weak with need, as if she doesn’t inhale the sugar she’ll just crumble at your feet, begging for just one drop. 

“Yeah, I cried in front of your dad who hated me at the time, might I add. After that, he was kind, I think because he saw how much I…you know…” 

You remember how much he changed when you came home for the holidays three years later. Naturally, you always accepted he had just come around over time, but it wasn’t that at all — the weeps of your high school girlfriend convinced him. 

“Guess he saw how much I loved you or something…I don’t know…” She shrugs like it’s nothing. 

Like she's nothing; the careless lie you let her believe. 

Even with her dominating physical presence, she’s always been shy about this sort of thing. Expressing her feelings never really came easy, even if she wore them with her heart on her sleeve, admitting them was different than feeling them. 

“You changed his mind.” 

“He would have gotten there eventually. I’m sure he liked whoever you dated after me.” 

“Hm.” You grimly laugh, “He didn’t. Not the two I brought home but he always spoke fondly of you, he definitely likes you better then he enjoys his own kid.” 

Patient she is watching you process the information, it’s almost too much for her to swallow. What if you had been home when she was going to say goodbye? Would this be your home with her? The dreams of kissing her in the kitchen, cherry inspired, the family home she always wanted to build for the two of you. Now she’s here with no one but herself. Withering away the soul of a woman who only wanted love. 

“He loves you and if he doesn’t, that’s his loss. Trust me, I know it too well.” 

The confession hangs on the walls like a memorial, taking a trip down memory lane, or more like the hell of your own making. Demons you conjured cast over your past as if they only exist in hollow halls. The deeper you go, the more your heart slivers in the cracks of her delicate grip. For the first time, you don’t mind when she presses on your heartbeat — demanding more with just looking at you the way she does. 

The way she always has. 

“Do you still love me?” 

“Are you going to run away if I tell you?” 

Lips ghost over you, her breath hits your face, making it flush with heat. She leans against the counter, wrapping your back with one of her arms, tugging you close to her. 

“Abby, I’m a mess.” 

“I know.” 

“I don’t know what my family is going to look like or my future.” 

“I know.” 

“Abigail, would you stop saying that?” 

“I’ve only ever cared about you, I don’t care if your life is together. I’m here and I—” She dips her head to kiss down your neck, decorating your collarbones with her lips as she creates a map back to where she wants to the most, “will take care of you.” 

Abby kisses you like the air in her lungs is expendable, as she has endless amounts to give. That’s all she is love, pouring into every ounce of you that she can find. With desperate abandon, she wants to wipe your memory of every wrong she ever did you — she only wants to remind you of the reason why she loves you. Maybe it’ll be enough for you to wake up in her arms again. 

For once, she might be enough. 

“We don’t have to do this, I don’t know what it all means and—” 

“Right now? I don’t fucking care.” Abby leeches off your neck, kissing and delicately sucking, grazing her sharp teeth against sensitive skin. “I just want you.” 

Thoughtless abandon goes out the window as she guides you back into her apartment, off the spacious balcony and corners you into her room. Letting you fall on her bed as she stands above you, as she strips in front of you. Making a show of it, torturing you for sport, before she goes in for the kill. 

The alcohol still alive in your mind as she pulls off, a freckled maze maps its way all over her body. The subtle blonde happy trails travels underneath her navel and disappears beneath the fabric of her denim jeans. Your own self-control begins to slip, but Abby is too concerned with evening out the playing field. Even if this is a long-lasting goodbye, she’s going to make it last. 

Slipping your trousers down your legs, she’s met with cotton boxers — soaked all the way through. 

“Is that all for me?” Abby snaps the waistband against your skin as you squirm underneath your touch, bucking your hips into the air. Impossibly desperate for her touch. 

“Y-Yes, It’s for—” Irrevocably your eyes roll back into your skull, “Abigail, oh shit, shit, shitttt.”  

Sneaking a hand in your boxers, she opens up your inviting folds, slippery and as Abby glides along, collecting your slick with the calloused fingers. You squirm and shift, bucking into her hand, waiting for more to be given to you. 

“Just say my name like that pretty girl, so good for me, aren’t you?” Abby removes her hand as she pulls your boxers off your legs and without being asked she slides them down your legs as she pushes your shirt up to your tits, exposing the swell of your breasts to her possessive eyes, waiting to lay claim onto what she’s missed for the past ten years. 

“I wonder if you’re just as…” Abby takes a beat before rubbing over your hard nipple along her tongue, her denim-glad thigh grinding against your thigh as she suckles at your breasts. “Sensitive.” 

She moans into your skin, using her free hand to play with your pussy, soft strokes to your clit as she elicits more moans from you. The force of her strength and weight keeps you down, the stutter of your hips chasing her fingers. 

“My pretty baby, not so mean and bossy anymore, huh?” She bites your nipple gently before whispering in your ear, “Did you miss me that much?” 

“I just want more, please.” 

In any other circumstance, she happily would make you pay for it. Wait even, but if she doesn’t have you in her mouth for another second, she won’t survive. You’re so beautiful, you’re perfect in every conceivable way. The years had in fact been kind to you, different from what she knew when the two of you had sex but god, she thinks you’re even more exquisite now. 

“More?” Abby removes what remains of her clothing, leaving you to gawk at her muscled frame, small tits frame her chest perfectly. “How about you sit on my face, angel? How does that sound?” 

She’s already made you come twice, just on her tongue alone, pushing for a third as she holds you by the waist, waiting for your overstimulated body to give into her once more. 

Abby makes everyone look inadequate when it comes to her, no one could touch you like this, fuck you like this, slither their talent tongue inside your waiting hold as you take her out for a ride. Muffled moans against your dripping cunt sends shivers throughout your spine, body twitching as you feel yourself hurling closer to the edge. 

You can’t help but ride her face as your head lies on the bundle of curves covering her mound and you’ve been too fucked out the entire time to do anything but you can’t help but notice the way her patient cunt is shining with her slick. Curiosity blooms within you as you notice the slight thrust of her hips, chasing a part of you that isn’t there. 

With no sudden warning, you vigorously rub on her wet folds, applying pressure on her bundle of nerves as you spread her sweet juices along her puffed lips. 

“Baby, nghhh, oh my god.” Abby slurps as she sucks your clit into her mouth before you fall right over the edge again. Her eager tongue fucks your through it with her tongue, letting your ride the high as your nails scratch her stomach, marking her as yours once again. 

Abby helps your weak body slide down her legs, flipping you over as your pussy falls against her, her legs spread open as your head rests against her sternum, feeling the increased rate of her heart beat thump against her chest. 

She smooths her hand over your hair, gorgeous hypnotic eyes pull at Abby’s heart. “We should get some sleep.” 

“We can…unless you want to entertain a thought I’m having.” Abby raises her eyebrow as rotate your hips, clit bumping against hers as she throws her head back, a string of curses fall from her lips as she grips onto your hips. Happily, she lets you take control, pushing her strong leg over your shoulder as you glide against her soaked pussy. 

“Oh fuck, fuck, holy fucking shit—” 

Perfect tits bouncing as you rock your hips against her movement, the more you look in her eyes, you feel yourself yearning for another release. It’s never been this good, never with anyone. The moans she whispers, kept in the secret coven of your love, the spells she casts to keep you near — it trumps anything you’ve ever felt. 

“Keep looking at me, Abigail.” The whine of her full name, only ever falling from your lips, the most wonderful symphony. It’s intoxicating how much she loves it. How much she loves you. Deep in her bones, even if she tries her best to pull away, she knows not a damn thing will ever compare to this. For this life and the next, she’ll be searching for you in everyone she meets. 

She can’t live another moment with you. Not after ten years of agony, fuck no, she needs you like she needs oxygen to breathe. You’re not sure how long it takes, but you don’t forget how Abby looks at you with a tender heart that basically pours out of her. 

“Baby, please. N-N-gh, I need you.” You push her forward, hitting a deeper angle than you were before until you hear just how wet she is with your forehead pressed against hers, “Show me how my pretty girl comes, yeah? Need a reminder, princess.” 

Abby moans out your name, her body fucking up into you, slithering her convulsing cunt against your clit as her defined abdomen twitches and only relaxes when you follow her lead, you body collapsing on her. Two hearts beats become one as the two of you fall asleep, a quiet whisper of I love you, but you’re not sure if it falls from your lips or hers. 

The morning air breathes lilies and fresh espresso, her sweet cinnamon cologne lingers in her sheets, where she held you all night with her heavenly embrace. Reality sinks in and then you’re afraid once again. You slip one of her button up shirts on, pulling on a pair of her sweats before your feet are met with the cool wooden floors. 

She’s sitting there, those stupid glasses she apparently didn’t get rid of. Making her look stupid cute as she read the velvet-green covered book in her large palms. 

It’s easy for her to tell how you feel, Abby knows you too well as she watches you with cautious eyes. You’re so afraid of it all. Always, you’ve been afraid of what she makes you feel, how close she pushes you to the edge of no return. A love you feel helpless to, especially when it eats you from the inside out. 

“Do you wanna leave? I can take you home.” Abby doesn’t even look up from her book, she sounds annoyed, completely different than her vulnerable demeanor last night. It puzzles you when she closes herself off. 

“Am I missing something? Did I do something wrong?” 

Abby folds her book, marking the page on the sharp corner before she takes off her glasses. “You don’t owe me anything if that’s what you’re worried about. You felt like you didn’t before. You in all your city glory.” 

Something happened. 

“Abby, what’s going on?” 

“You tell me.” She places your phone on the table and it’s the email detailing of your new book tour in Europe. One that lasts the better part of the year. 

“You snooped through my phone?” 

“I didn’t mean to, I thought it was mine, okay? I would never do that.” Abby sighs, “I really didn’t mean to fucking look. I just, it’s happening all over again, I’m losing you over something. I’m never what you pick and I can’t ever be enough for you. Even Hazel was right! All you do is hurt me and it’s my fault because I let you. I can’t keep chasing you. It’s a stupid dream I’m too dumb enough to let go of.” 

“So, that’s it? Last night was just what? A mistake?” 

“I didn’t say that—” 

“But you did! Fuck, I should have known things wouldn’t change.” 

“You should have known? This is the same reason why you left me. I’ll lose you, again, to something I can’t compete with. The both of us know it to be true. At least have the decency to admit it.” 

“Do you want me to apologize? I did what I wanted! I have everything I wanted. This is everything I’ve worked towards for the best ten years—” 

“But you don’t—” Abby puffs out her chest, standing taller than she has since you’ve been back. The words spill just like you did the night before, “You didn’t get everything, you made sure of it the moment you left me behind.” 

Abby has backed you into a corner, stalking you like you’re her prey but this isn’t how she wants everything to be. Looking into your dreary eyes, she’s transported back to when you shattered her heart, splitting into pieces that no longer fit. The harder she tries to piece them back, the more jagged she becomes. 

“I don’t want this. I’ve let go of it.” 

I let go of you, sounds entirely too painful to say. 

“That’s your plan? To pretend none of this has happened?” Abby’s tongue prods the inside of her cheek, a cocky smirk flashes your way. “Look at how well it turned out the first time.” 

“What is that supposed to mean?” Your arms cross over your chest, attempting to create some distance between the two of you, but Abby only closes you in. 

“Why do you still wear it?” 

“What are you talking about?” 

Abby reaches for your hand, you untangle your limbs, the pad of her thumb loving running over the silky skin. Her calloused hand feels rough, just as it always has, but it also feels right. 

The silver ring on your pinky, the one you lost and the one your father had conveniently found. But it was never him who located your perfect gem, nope. Not at all. Just Abby’s biggest fan, besides Hazel. 

The reminder of her leaves a sour taste saturating your tongue, but you have no right. It's her friend, and just because you’re not fond of her, doesn’t mean a thing. You’re just a ghost still lingering in her life. Even if she answers there’s nothing, Hazel looks at her like you used to. When the same protectiveness switched into high gear last night, she only thought of how much you would do the exact same thing Hazel did if the roles were reversed. 

Just maybe, not as cruel. 

Abby takes the ring off your thumb, it shines in the dim lighting in the room.

“The day I fell in love with you, three months into our relationship, I gave it to you. Do you remember what I said?” 

Simply, you nod. 

“Wear this for as long as you love me and when you’ve taken it off, I’ll know we’re truly done.” Abby hums, your eyes shut as her thigh wedges between your legs but it only rests there. “But I hope you wear it forever.” 

“Then let go of me, give it back, throw it away, but stop acting like you might still feel the same. I’m tired of being played. You know how much this ring means to me. Don’t leave me, again.” 

It’s a cop out for what she really wants to say, the both of you know it is, but you have the decency to let it swarm past without making a single comment. 

She’s begging for mercy. She’s tired. The lines on her skin are an indication of the hours she spends in the sun and the time passing by, engaging you in a never-ending tsunami of Abigail Anderson’s love. 

“Abigail—” You say her name like it’s a curse, a spell you keep casting to make her fall deeper in your endless abyss. “Just because it seems like a good idea doesn’t mean it’ll work out. What makes this time any different?” 

You slid away from her, needing to breathe, you can’t think when she’s too close. Serendipity finds home into honey blues, working its magic until she finds purchase in your heart once again. You’d let her get too close, more than you should let her allow. 

Abby, the heart. 

You, the head. 

The dreamer. The thinker. Forever intertwined by the deadly kiss of fate. 

“But if it did? What if we did?” 

Abby doesn’t want to beg, but she is. She learned her lesson the first time. She said nothing all those years ago, letting you take the relationship the two of you had by the reigns, your cruelty being the fatal blow to what the two of you had worked so hard to build. Naivety crushed the future right in front of her — the one she regularly dreams of. 

Each what if connected like constellations in the sky, each one just as bright as the next, Abby can’t make of which she wants. But Abby has always known it to be true, this has always been it for her but you’re so afraid. 

Still petrified to be loved. 

“I can’t let myself go through it again, if we didn’t? I can’t just—” You begin pacing, trying to get yourself into a position to clear your mind. The hope she has, it could kill you in your sleep. “I fucked up, okay? Last night shouldn’t have happened. I needed something and I used you. Is that what you want to hear? Will that satisfy you enough?” 

“I want the goddamn fucking truth, Cherry. Stop with the lies. Tell me you want this to end because you don’t love me anymore, or that you want to go on this book tour, not because you fucked up. I don’t care if you fucked me because you needed your clit sucked for the night. Tell me the truth, Cherry, please.” 

“Stop calling me that.” 

Abby chuckles maliciously, “Why? You don’t like to remember when you were in love, the only time you ever were happy, the only time you ever let anyone get close to you?” 

She attempts to get closer to you but you dodge her and walk to the other side of the room. 

“You’re quite literally running away from me. Anything but facing the truth, right?” Abby sighs into her hands. The muscles in her body are exhausted, her heart is over spent, and her mind is filled with you. Even if she doesn’t want it to be. “Do you think I want this? To feel like this? To put my heart on the line when you clearly show that you’ll discard it every damn time? Do you think this is enjoyable for me?” 

“Then stop! I’m not asking you to, just let me leave, let me go.” 

“Let the ring go.” Somehow, in your heat of emotion, you grabbed it back from her and didn't realize it had been placed back on your thumb. “You know it was my mom’s, how could you so selfishly keep this?” 

“What?” 

Fuck. Abby runs her hands through her hair,  gripping so tightly her sunkissed knuckles turn white from nearly being pulled from the root. 

“But you said this was—” 

“I lied! I was eighteen and scared shitless, okay? I didn’t want you to—” 

“You didn't want me to….?” 

Abby sighs rubbing her hand over her face, a habit she seemed to pick up in your presence. “If I tell you, you’re just going to run.” 

You grimace, tearing up as you look at the ring, it means so much to her and all this time she was perfectly fine with thinking you got rid of it. Abby never so much as asked for it back. But everything feels more final with the ring in hand, the shining promise of something more. But the naivety of youth chilled her bones, made her believe that love like this comes and goes. It goes. And goes. And goes. 

It never comes. 

“Do you want it back?” You dodge whatever omission she was about to let fall. It’s what you do best. Avoiding the future — she’s always been ominous, constantly you’re scared to believe in the faith of her undying love. The forgiveness of her heart pours like an overflowing well. Abby teeters you along the line of grace you don’t quite deserve.   

“No.”  Abby sighs before she brings herself close to you. “I want you back, Cherry. There’s nothing I’ve ever wanted as much as you. When you left, everyone told me it’s just because you're my first love. Time heals all, right? But it doesn’t. Despite your best efforts, I’ll always love you. You’re—” 

You take a step closer to her, “I’m what?”

“You’re the love of my life. If you walk at that door, it’ll take the rest of my life to fill the gap you leave. But if you don’t love me, then please, put me out of my misery and just leave.” 

Abby looks down at the wood floors, tears collecting in her eyes as she expects you to walk out the front door, leaving her in the dust. But the slam of her front door never comes, instead you sink down on your knees resting your head on her knee, waiting for her to look down at you. 

“What?” Abby grunts. 

“There was this cute, really nerdy blonde girl, she puked on prom night, crying over some straight girl and somehow I managed to fall in love with her despite all odds but you know what the real kicker is?” You intertwined her hands with her, your head tilting to the side as your dreamily looked into sunny-blues, sticking to you like honey,

“I never, ever stopped.”

[davinawritings]

hii! not sure if your reqs are open but do you write stuff about piss? maybe werewolf bf marking his territory or a vamp bf doing it for degrading purposes

Hello! I hope you enjoy it! Unsurprisingly I went with a Werewolf boyfriend, lol.

The Claiming

Pairing: Male Werewolf Boyfriend X Fem Reader

Warnings: Smut, Creampie, Piss kink, Slight humiliation kink, possessive boyfriend

Enjoy <3

The night had started great with your amazing werewolf boyfriend inviting you to his friend’s party. You and Callum have been dating for just over 6 months now, and everything has been perfect. You got all dolled up for him, hoping for a fun night. 

You just finished spraying your perfume when you hear a knock on your door. Callum gives you a wet kiss with promises of a fun night as he guides you to his car. He keeps you on his arm as you enter the party, happy to have his beautiful girl by his side for all to see. 

Although he seems perfectly happy, your happiness doesn’t last long when he starts to ignore you to have fun with his buddies. You quickly grow bored of standing beside him and listening to them talk. The music is blaring, and you want to dance. You tug on his muscular arm to get his attention, but he barely spares you a glance.

Trying to be patient, you try again, and he finally looks at you with a raised brow. You give him a slight pout, saying you want to dance, but he just rolls his eyes and says he’s busy. You stare at him momentarily, not used to him flat-out refusing you. 

You give a slight nod, more to yourself than him, and decide to make your way to the makeshift dancefloor. Just because he wants to stand around doing nothing doesn’t mean you have to. 

As you dance to the music, you sway your hips sensually, running your hands along your body, and your dress leaves little to the imagination. A firm chest is pressed to your back in less than a minute. His hand grips your waist, and you know it’s not your boyfriend from that simple touch alone. You spin in his arms and come face to face with a werewolf. Although attractive, you can’t help but notice that he isn’t quite as attractive as your boyfriend. 

You think about moving away from his arms, but then you remember how Callum is ignoring you for his friends and figure you might as well have some fun dancing with this guy. You know Callum won’t be happy, but you can’t seem to find it in you to care right now. 

You dance for about thirty seconds before this wolf starts dropping his hands down to your ass. You are about to reach around and push them up, but you don’t get the chance as Callum pulls you away from the other werewolf.

The other man snarls and says, “What the hell. Can’t you see I was in the middle of dancing with her?”. 

Your boyfriend growls a low warning: “This is my girl. Don’t ever put your hands on her again.”

The other wolf gives him a smug smirk before saying, “Are you sure she’s your girl? I don’t see a mating bite, and she doesn’t smell like you. She smells sweet, like a juicy fruit ripe for plucking.”

The taunting words push Callum over the edge, and with one brutal hit, he has the other wolf knocked out on the floor. He barely spares him a second glance as he tosses you over his shoulder and drags you to an upstairs bedroom, quickly locking the door behind him. 

He tosses you on the bed, and you open your mouth to speak, but he quickly rips your panties off and shoves them in your mouth before you can even get a word out. He makes quick work of both your clothes, having you both naked in seconds.

“See what happens when you act like a little whore. Letting him put his hands on what’s mine. Letting him question my claim on you in front of everyone!”. His voice is harsh, and you know he is about to fuck you into tears, your pussy already preparing itself for his massive cock.

He quickly flips you onto your stomach and smacks your ass. You moan around the panties as he straddles your ass, pulling your cheeks apart to get a clear view of your dripping cunt. Without hesitation, he thrusts into the hilt, and you cry out his name as much as you can with the damp cloth in your mouth. His pace is hard and punishing; you can only grip the sheets.

“Such a fucking little brat. You couldn’t behave for a few fucking hours. This is what you needed, right? To be shown some fucking attention. To be under me and take my cock the way you are meant to. Fu-fuck. Made to take my cock and mine only. You are mine. This body is mine. This Fu-cking pussy is mine,” he growls out. 

One of his large hands pushes down on your lower back, keeping you in place, unable to even meet his thrusts. The other holds your hair in a makeshift ponytail, tugging as he fucks into your dripping center.

You moan out as your cunt begins fluttering around his cock, his knot slamming into your swollen pussy lips with each thrust. You whimper and try to move backward against his strength, wanting nothing more for his knot to fill you up.

“I don’t think so, baby. I’m not knotting you here. You’re going to take my cum like a good fucking girl, and then we are going to walk back downstairs and out of this party while my cum drips down your fucking legs. Let everyone here know just who your fucking belong to”. 

Callum’s possessive words push you over the edge, your cunt strangling his cock in pleasure and causing him to fill you up. He gives you a few short thrusts as you both calm down, pulling out and admiring the sticky mess between your thighs. He flips you back onto your back and fixes your dress, but leaves the panties in your mouth for now. 

You give him your best puppy dog apology eyes, but he just shakes his head before saying, “Fuck baby. I know they will be able to smell my cum inside your pussy, but I’m not sure it’s enough. I can’t have them questioning my claim on my little brat, now can I?”

He kneels over your body and sits on your thighs, his dominant hand grabbing hold of his half-hard cock. You stare up in his eyes as you wait for him to start jerking his cock so he can cover you in more of his cum. He gives you a sly smirk, and you gasp as you begin to feel a hot stream of liquid hitting your stomach.

Your eyes immediately shoot down to his cock, watching as his piss flows from his flushed tip before soaking you beneath him. He aims higher, making sure to soak your tits as well, your dress seemingly eager to soak up the warm liquid. You whimper as he then aims for directly above your pussy, the warm piss quickly pooling and soaking the material before dripping through and adding to the sticky mess between your legs. 

You surprise yourself as your clench and rub your thighs together at the sensation, feeling your clit pulse with desire. He gives his cock a shake watching as the last few drops fall onto your squirming body.

“Now I think you are ready to walk downstairs, baby. And don’t worry, as soon as we get you home, I’m going to knot your pussy, and we are going to go over how much my little whore seems to love getting covered in my piss. Don’t think I missed your needy body shifting around trying to get some friction for your slutty little cunt”.

You moan as you stand on shaky legs, Callum’s arm around your waist, the only thing keeping you from falling over and losing balance. He guides you through the house and past everyone else, your cunt clenching as they stare at you covered in his piss and with cum dripping down your legs with each step. Embarrassment heats your cheeks, but you can’t deny the arousal burning through you at their looks, nor the anticipation of what awaits you at home. 

As you reach his car, you quickly get in your seat, only now realizing that you never even took your panties out of your mouth, another wave of embarrassment rushing over you and making your pussy clench, more cum dripping out and surely covering his seat. Callum gets in and starts the car, making quick work to get home as fast as possible. 

His hand gives your thigh a squeeze, claws digging in lightly as he says, “Just think of how many more new things we can explore, baby. Now that I know my perfect little girl is a kinky whore, we just opened up a new world of fun baby”.

Maybe being a brat tonight was a good idea, after all.

I hope you all enjoyed <3 <3 <3 Let me know what you think!

[1980shorrorfilm]

has it hit you?

click!!!

pairing…sam carpenter x gn!reader

in which…an argument causes sam to push you away; which she regrets when you end up under the mistletoe with someone else.

before you read…angst with comfort. alcohol usage. mentions of sex.

“whatever sam said, she didn’t mean— you know she gets like that sometimes!”

tara follows you around the frat house that was lazily decked out with flashy christmas decor, like a child being led by her parent. fitting, considering she’s taking your fight with sam to the heart. 

it was sudden, so sudden yet something you should’ve been entirely prepared for. 

you made the mistake of taking a step in a direction she’s repeated several times she didn’t want to go down. emotional intimacy. a hint at a relationship. dinner with your family for the holidays. 

you had invited her and tara, having believed you were close enough with them to do so, but specifically sam. the woman you’ve spent most of your nights with, wrapped in her arms, skin to skin. 

it wasn’t just sex with her. when she was vulnerable enough, she’d trust you with some of her lighter secrets, still unable to tell you everything that goes on her mind. 

you were okay with that, though, always so patient with her. that’s why you accepted what you two were…nothing and everything at the same time.

not dating, no, she wouldn’t say that. she wouldn’t call you her partner. she wouldn’t even call you her best friend. you were just…you. someone she liked enough to occupy her time with, and she assumed that’s all she was to you.

not someone to bring home to your parents, sam did not think she had the title. she thought she didn’t want it, imagining the judgmental faces from your beloved family members, as if you brought home a mistake. 

a mistake. that’s what she called your whatever-ship.

something that should’ve never happened, she told you. you’re too clingy, she said. just leave me the fuck alone, she begged.

you listened. you always listen to sam. 

leading you to a frat party, being followed by her little sister, a constant reminder of what you’re trying to escape. 

“maybe we should go home— she’s probably waiting for you,” tara tries again, watching you grab a beer from the fridge. you sigh her name, not wanting to scold her, but really tired of hearing about sam. tara gets the hint, and the obvious annoyance in your tone, deciding to back off. for now.

your mind can ease somewhat without having tara’s shadow, actually talking to your friends while the alcohol works its way into your system. 

you find yourself playing beer pong against some faces you occasionally see in class, laughing at just how bad you were— then remembering how good sam is. her aim is amazing, sam knows the right angles and how delicate or hard the pressure should be. you learned that a long time ago, though. 

why are you thinking about her? when you’re just her mistake?

you shake your head, bringing the red solo cup to your lips and downing the alcohol while the opposite team celebrates their win. your partner, a tall blonde who leaned in very close to you the entire time, now trying to hold a regular conversation. 

“aren’t you seeing that carpenter chick?” they had asked, and your head snapped toward them, brows knitting at the comment. you hadn’t known your association with her seemed to others what you also had viewed it as. romantic. 

it’s slightly comforting, knowing it wasn’t entirely in your head, the way samantha tried telling you it was. maybe she was lying more to herself, than you, or so that’s what you hope for. 

“nope,” you tell them, “not seeing anyone.”

the bitterness of your words goes unnoticed, and is taken as an invitation; which it sorta is. you came here to forget her, to make yourself feel better. and if that’s with some blonde that lost beer pong with you, you’re okay with that. you think.

you’re honestly not doing a lot of thinking right now. you’re fake laughing at their stupid jokes. you’re repeating ‘right,’ at their never-ending stories. 

you’re being reminded why you picked sam over everyone else. this is draining, a chore to pretend to be interested. there was no pretending with her. her. her. 

holy fuck, you need another drink. 

you excuse yourself, but they follow, still talking to you. they cut themselves off, an enthusiastic ‘hey,’ as their palm on your wrist halts you in the doorway. 

“wh—”

they point up, and you glance. mistletoe. you see it more in movies than in reality, you’re almost amazed by the sight of the small green and red shrubs. to be beneath it with the love of your life— to be beneath it with sam. 

sam isn’t here.

but you are, and so is the blonde.

because why the fuck not, you close the space between you two, a peck on their lips that goes as quickly as it came. but it lasts long enough for her to see it.

the heat rushes to her cheeks, tara not telling her you were occupied with someone else in the urgent message she had sent her. just the fact that you were drinking, and she’s taking your recklessness as confirmation. 

sam ignores the stares as she pushes past the drunken partygoers, remembering exactly why she didn’t come to shit like this. if she wanted to feel judged she would’ve searched her name online, a habit you’ve tried to stop her from doing.

“y/n.”

her voice cuts through the music and chatter, your eyes falling on her in the doorway of the kitchen. you’re leaning against the counter, the blonde in front of you, looking between you two. sam is only looking at them. 

“can you leave us?” it comes out as a demand when she says it, and they don’t protest, both of you now alone when they scurry away.

you gulp at whatever she has to say to you, probably to get scolded for having fun without her. with someone else. despite her harsh words making it seem like that’s what she wanted from you; to find someone else and stop bothering her. 

you laugh dryly to yourself at the thought.

“what was that?”

“what was what?” 

sam exhales through her nose, trying to be patient in a moment she absolutely did not want to be. she will show you some grace due to being buzzed and not entirely there, but that doesn’t change how she feels.

bitter. annoyed. mad, very mad, at you. 

“so we have one argument and that’s it?” she begins to walk toward you, making you feel extremely small the closer she got, and the louder her voice became.

you dare to bite back, “thought that’s what you wanted.”

“why would i want that?”

“because you fucking said so, sam,” you tell her, the woman not realizing the weight of the things she had said until this moment. 

sure, they weren’t the kindest words that had left her mouth, but they were spoken out of fear rather than honesty. unfortunately, you’re not a mind reader, and you have feelings that sam has obliterated. 

“i don’t…” she trails off, a roar from the crowd in the next room causing her to squeeze her eyes in annoyance. “let’s go home. talk there,” sam tells you, hand gently grabbing at yours, but you pull away. 

“you can go home.”

“y/n.”

“im staying, sam. don’t wait up for me,” you push past her, to the fridge you had originally come into the kitchen for. to your luck, there’s one more beer, but it leaves your hands as soon as you grab it. 

sam walks away with the drink, practically shoving it into someone’s welcoming hands, a tight-lipped smile on her face that drops when she faces you again. “guess i am too, then.”

the audacity.

making you feel like shit, pushing you away, then pulling you back in when you find happiness without her. even if it’s stupid decisions like kissing strangers and drinking until your head hurts. it’s a better feeling than being told you’re not wanted by the woman you love the most. 

“fuck you, sam.”

with that, you storm out of the room, out of the house entirely, the freezing december air hitting you at once. you hug yourself, your ugly holiday sweater not providing you the warmth that the frat home had, and drag your feet to the sidewalk. 

you hear her behind you before she makes her presence known. 

“where are you going?” 

“why? gonna follow me?”

once more, her hand finds your arm, a firm grip holding you in place, and a hard stare that goes through you. it causes your attitude retreat, and your confidence to die completely. 

“if you want to be mad at me, fine, but i’m not leaving you alone like this.”

you remain still, eyes falling to your feet because holding her gaze is too overwhelming. she sees through you, gets to you easily like she is now, and why you’re accepting defeat. 

“fine, whatever. let’s go.”

she lets out of a sigh of relief, thankful this wasn’t going to be another argument. she’s too drained for that. her grip on you softens, along with her eyes that scan your face momentarily, like she was taking you in for the first time tonight. red eyes and a cute frown on your face that she wishes she wasn’t the reasoning for.

sam leads you to her car, making sure tara is okay before she leaves, the ride is quiet and uncomfortable. she taps her fingers on the steering wheel, occasionally glancing at you, your head facing the window, watching the snow begin to fall.

you look at peace, probably the most calm you’ve been since the fight. since she wiped the smile off of your face, replacing your joyful eyes with eyes of pain. her heart begins to hurt.

at a red light, she peels off her jacket, handing it to you without saying anything. you don’t put it on, but you use it as a blanket, inhaling the scent of the cinnamon and sandalwood perfume she drowns herself in. a comforting scent that makes you feel warmer than the jacket itself. 

when you arrive at her place, you’re still clinging to the piece of clothing, sitting on the couch while she makes sure all the locks on the door are secure. you’re mindlessly watching whatever channel on the tv she previously had on, hearing her shuffle in the kitchen.

it’s a few minutes later that she enters the room with two mugs, placing one in your hands. you smell the hot chocolate before she informs you that’s what it is, thanking her before sipping on the sweet drink. 

she sits beside you, leaning forward to grab the remote and mute the television. damn it. 

“can we talk?”

“go ahead,” you mumble, but sam is not as bothered by your subtle attitude. she gets it. she may have acted like it was unwarranted earlier, but you’ve made it very clear she had hurt you. and she deserves the absolute worst for that. 

“what i said to you…i didn’t mean any of it. i was upset— and that’s not an excuse, i know,” she begins, brown eyes trained on her drink, “i just…haven’t loved anyone like this since…”

sam goes quiet, unable to finish that sentence, before speaking again, “and it’s a lot…you’re a lot for me— not in a bad way —it’s just new. and i’m scared im gonna fuck up. i mean i already did.”

she dryly laughs at herself, at the thought of shutting you out to avoid getting hurt and ending up in a much worse position. how she had someone so caring and beyond understanding, and made them feel bad about it. a villain simply for loving her as much as you do— but you’re not one, and you never will be to her.

even now, you have nothing unkind to say to her. you have no desire to even talk about the argument that had taken place. your patience runs deep with samantha, your sympathy outweighing your frustrations.

sam is hurting even more than you, trauma that you couldn’t even begin to understand, insecurities that taint her mindset and your relationship. it’s a problem, you both know this, and you’re still valid for being upset with the words she had spoken due to her own personal complications. words that aren’t true or reflect you at all.

sam will do better for you.

there’s a beat of silence, not nearly as uncomfortable the ride here. the tension is somewhat fleeting, replaced with something else, vulnerability when you both need it.

“so…” you begin, “you love me?”

her head snaps to you, shocked you’re even asking, and that you’re not addressing anything she had said. she doesn’t mind it, though, and answers you.

“so fucking much.”

your cheeks go red at her words, how she means it. sam loves you hard. it is the only reason why you had a fight in the first place.

sam understands it now.

in that part of her brain that is kind to her, in the part that allows her to be in love with you, freely, deeply, openly, like she deserves, ignoring the cruel self-deprecating voices in the back of her mind. 

you end the night with your head on her chest, listening to the rhythm of her heartbeat as you fall asleep cuddled into her body.

[fkinkindagauche]

Wild God

This is for day 20 of @steddie-spooktober, "cryptid" as well as @strangerthingswritersguild Kinktober prompt "worship". I fell asleep before I could finish it last night, so it is a day late on both! If you haven't listened to Nick Cave's new album, Wild God, yet, you should. The album is not actually about monsterfucking, but I like to think he really wouldn't mind the title being co-opted for that.

Summary: Mothman is in the woods of Hawkins and he's apparently a really good lay.

Rating: Explicit | WC: 2,229 | Tags: Anal Sex, Rimming, Monster Eddie Munson, Monsterfucker Steve Harrington, Blood, Biting, Unsafe Sex with Cryptids, Prehensile Tongues

Steve has become increasingly obsessed with the creature in the woods. Lucas says it's Mothman, who came to Indiana from West Virginia (“he has wings, you know”), while Dustin claims it’s just a weird sandhill crane. 

Steve doesn’t tell Dustin and Lucas what he knows, from overhearing a discussion at a party a few weeks before. He’d been pouring himself a drink in the kitchen when two girls came in, excitedly whispering to each other, not noticing Steve was there. 

“And it was so big,” one of the girls whispers. “I’ve never seen a cock that size before. It felt amazing.”

“You’re joking, right?” the other girl says, incredulous. “You didn’t actually fuck a random monster in the woods.”

“I swear, I did,” the first girl says, looking annoyed at not being believed. “Mary did, too, ask her.”

“Mary also said she fucked Justin Bieber. That’s not exactly helping your case.”

“If you don’t believe me, go try it yourself. If you spend the night out by Skull Rock, he’ll come.” She suggestively waggles her eyebrows. “In more ways than one.” 

Steve doesn’t really know why, but his interest is piqued. He asks around over the next few weeks, and finds out more. It’s apparently become a bit of a thing with the people around his age in Hawkins. The girls are calling the creature the Wild God, saying they’re going into the woods to worship, and the boys mostly seem to think the girls are all making it up to piss them off.

He talks to three separate groups of girls who tell him similar versions of the same story - they went to Skull Rock to camp, and around midnight, the creature approached, standing at the edge of the camp. He’s been described to Steve as anywhere from seven to ten feet tall, with wings, red eyes, and a huge cock. All you have to do is walk up to him and say, “I’m yours for the night,” and, if the girls are to be believed, you’ll have the best sex of your life. 

Steve, who has become increasingly bored with the girls of Hawkins, his sex life more of a slog than it is enjoyable, finds himself wondering what it would be like, to be fucked. He’s never experimented with men before, even though he has had thoughts. He especially wonders what it would be like to be fucked by a wild god. 

He makes Robin tell him everything he needs to know to spend a night in the woods, refusing to tell her why he needs to know. He goes to other sources (a sex shop in downtown Indy) to find out what he needs to know about what else he hopes will happen. He purchases varying sizes of dildos ranging from beginner to gigantic at the sex shop, and purchases a tent at a more respectable establishment. He spends a few weeks getting used to the feeling of his fingers, and then the dildos, inside of him. He likes it, almost more than he likes having his own dick buried inside someone. 

Once he’s graduated to the largest dildo, he decides to give his plan a try on one night in late October. He reaches Skull Rock around 10pm, with the moon high and full in the sky. He sets up his tent, starts a small fire, and settles in, prepared to wait as long as he needs. He can be patient. One hour passes, then two. He hears the sounds of the forest at night around him, small animals and insects going about their business, rustling and chirping. 

Just as he worries he may be about to nod off, he hears something larger moving through the undergrowth. His eyes scan the forest around him, the moon shedding plenty of light on the scene as a large shape comes into focus. It’s taller than a man, but not by too much, with the shape of unfurled wings making a shadow against the light of the moon. Steve can see two red orbs glowing in the dark - eyes. 

The creature stops about twenty feet from Steve, eyes pointed directly at him where he sits by his fire. It moves closer after a few moments, and the closer it comes to Steve, the more he can see in the light of the moon.

It’s mostly humanoid, but covered in a thin layer of fur, with large wings extending from its shoulders. The figure wears no clothes, and Steve’s eyes take in the size of the cock between its legs, which had not been exaggerated by the girls, before being drawn back up to its head, surrounded by a halo of unruly, long dark hair. 

The creature approaches closer, reaching a clawed hand out toward Steve. Steve studies its face, feeling a gentle thrum of something like recognition. Large, dark eyes, now with a distinct red tint, full lips, frizzy mane of hair, lines at the side of the mouth where dimples would be if it smiled. 

“Eddie?” Steve says, shock in his voice. It can’t be Eddie. He died five months ago.

The creature tilts his head to the side, confusion apparent on his face. The more Steve sees, the more he knows in his core that this is Eddie in front of him, changed almost beyond recognition. 

“Do you remember me?” Steve asks, as Eddie reaches out one clawed finger and strokes down his cheek.

Eddie doesn’t respond, just keeps looking at Steve, eyes hungry. Maybe he can’t even speak anymore. Steve remembers why he’s here, eyes tracking down to where Eddie’s cock rests between his legs. He would be lying to himself if he said he hadn’t been attracted to Eddie even before he got turned into a monster with a giant cock.

Steve takes a deep breath and says, “I’m yours for the night.” He wants to worship at the feet of the Wild God, especially since that god just happens to be Eddie Munson. 

Eddie makes a noise which Steve can only describe as a growl, then leans forward to press his mouth to Steve’s. Calling what ensues a kiss would be a mischaracterization. Eddie plunders Steve’s mouth, all sharp teeth and inhumanly long tongue. Steve tastes blood from where one of Eddie’s incisors has nicked his bottom lip. He moans into Eddie’s mouth as Eddie licks into him, mapping the inside of Steve’s mouth with his tongue. 

One of Eddie’s now huge arms wraps around Steve, pulling him flush against his body. Steve can feel Eddie’s cock growing hard where it’s pressed against his hip, so warm even through his jeans that Steve is worried it will burn his bare skin. He feels one of Eddie’s legs slot between his own, and starts to rut down onto it, his own cock so hard it’s almost painful. 

Eddie’s mouth moves to Steve’s neck, biting and licking, no doubt leaving ample marks which will be hard to explain to anyone who sees them. His clawed hands bunch in Steve’s sweater, pausing for a moment before tearing. Tatters of fabric fall from his body and he shivers as his skin is exposed to the cold. 

Eddie unfurls his massive wings, wrapping them around Steve, effectively blocking out the cold. It’s warm in this protected little alcove in the woods as Eddie moves his clawed hands to Steve’s jeans. 

“Wait,” Steve says, and Eddie pauses, red eyes inquisitive. “These jeans are expensive,” Steve explains, not sure Eddie understands him at all, but taking advantage of the pause to remove his jeans and boxers so they don’t also end up in tatters on the forest floor. 

As soon as he’s naked, Eddie starts to back him toward the fire, wings returning to their furled station on his back and clawed hands encircling Steve’s waist as he picks him up like Steve is a small child and not a fully grown man. He lays Steve on the ground beside the fire and blankets himself over him so Steve doesn’t even have a chance to be cold. 

Eddie starts to kiss and bite down Steve’s body, briefly nuzzling Steve’s straining cock before licking the whole length of it. His tongue is way longer than it should be, and seemingly prehensile, wrapping around Steve’s cock almost like a snake and gently stroking him. Steve moans loudly, bucking his hips up and grabbing handfuls of Eddie’s tangled, matted hair. 

Eddie moves further down, licking over Steve’s balls and grabbing his hips, pulling them up to get access to Steve’s hole. His tongue plunges easily inside of Steve, who opened himself up using his largest dildo right before setting out on this trip. The tongue presses and curls inside of him, seeking blindly until it finds that spot that makes Steve scream. 

Steve thrusts himself up into Eddie’s face, fucking himself on that absolutely earth-shattering tongue. Eddie continues to press perfectly into his prostate and Steve feels an unbearable pleasure start to build in his lower abdomen. He reaches down for his own cock and starts to stroke. It only takes two pumps before he’s coming all over his belly and chest, moaning and writhing on Eddie’s tongue.

Eddie keeps tongue-fucking him until the overstimulation becomes unbearable and Steve tugs on his hair. Eddie moves his face up, red eyes locking onto Steve's as he leans down and bites Steve’s hip, hard enough to break the skin. Steve groans and feels his cock twitching with the intense pleasure-pain of the sensation, Eddie’s tongue coming out to lick up the blood. 

Eddie moves up his body, kissing and licking and biting as he goes, until he’s face to face with Steve once again. Steve can feel Eddie’s hard cock pressing against his hip, huge and very wet. He reaches down and grabs hold, stroking. There’s an ample amount of a viscous fluid coating Eddie’s cock now, as if he can make his own lubricant. 

Eddie shudders as Steve strokes him, bending to lick into Steve’s mouth once again as Steve shifts to position the head of Eddie’s cock at his entrance. Eddie moves slowly, pressing his hips forward gently as he breaches Steve, stretching him. Eddie’s cock is about the size of the largest dildo he bought, a dildo he had been sure would be much larger than any actual cock he would ever take. 

The extensive prep that Steve did earlier, along with Eddie’s natural lubricant, are the only reasons it’s even physically possible for his body to accommodate Eddie. He sinks in slowly, giving Steve ample time to adjust, the care with which he moves belying his monstrous appearance. He pulls back to stare at Steve, gaze intense and more human than it has been this whole time, the red fading a little from his eyes as he finally bottoms out. 

Steve feels gloriously full and claimed, in a way he hadn’t anticipated. He presses a hand to his belly and he can feel where Eddie’s cock makes a palpable bulge. Inside, it presses into his prostate, and as Eddie starts to move Steve can feel his cock miraculously hardening again, almost immediately after his first orgasm.

Steve lets out a constant stream of wanton groans and pants as Eddie starts fucking into him in earnest, clawed hands braced on either side of Steve’s head as he pounds Steve into the forest floor. Steve meets each of his thrusts with his own, bucking up into Eddie as much as he’s able. 

Every brush of Eddie’s cock against his prostate builds inside of Steve until he feels like he’s going to explode. As Eddie bends his head to one of Steve’s pecs and bites down hard, Steve feels a second orgasm tear through his body, cock spurting a miniscule amount of cum onto his stomach as his whole body clenches around Eddie.

Eddie lets out a noise that can only be characterized as a roar and Steve starts to feel a warmth spreading inside himself as Eddie thrusts as deep into his ass as he can go and comes. It lasts a long time, longer than Steve ever thought an orgasm could last, and he feels excess cum dribbling out of his ass around Eddie’s cock. 

Eddie collapses against him, panting heavily, wings coming out to form a protective barrier around the two of them. Steve can feel Eddie’s cock starting to soften inside of his ass, and eventually it softens enough to slip out, a gush of cum following to coat the tops of Steve’s thighs. 

Eddie pushes himself up a little, looking down at Steve. The red of his eyes is more muted now, the color closer to the brown Steve was used to seeing. Steve reaches a hand up to cup one of Eddie’s cheeks.

“Can I come back to see you again tomorrow?” Steve asks.

“Yes,” Eddie says, voice gravelly with disuse and much deeper than it had been before. “Please.”

Steve smiles, elated at this evidence that Eddie is still in there somewhere, able to understand and respond. Then Steve remembers how he even found out about Eddie, and his face crumples into a frown.

“And stop fucking other girls. You’re my monster now,” Steve says, glaring.

“Okay, Stevie,” Eddie says, as he moves down Steve’s body to start thoroughly cleaning up the mess with his tongue.

Divider by @steddiecameraroll-graphics.

[sweetiecutie]

Ok ok listen-

teacher!valeria x student!reader🫶🫶

(I imagen her and us having "study sessions" she calls us in her classroom to talk about our grades or she calls us in her classroom so she can "help" us with something that we didnt understand 😻😻and could reader be a fem?. if u dont want to do this is ok!!🫶❤️)

Pairing: Valeria Garza x fem! Reader

Warnings: NSFW, smut, university AU!, professor/student trope, age gap implied

A/n: this is literally so sexy, I’m about to cream my fucking pants😩

Okay, so this is a university au, in which Valeria is one of the professors. I have a feeling that she would be teaching something hard and complicated - let’s say math.

Professor Garza is very strict. She’s one of the people who value discipline and order over anything else, punishing everyone who dares disturbing it. Valeria wouldn’t think twice before giving out detentions and extra work for behavior she deems unacceptable within auditorium. Chatting during her lectures? - detention. Forgetting to do homework she gave? - detention and double the amount of exercises you had to be handed over to her due to 3 pm the next day.

Many students fear Miss Garza, many hate her, many like her; but every single one has some sort of respect for her cold and stoic demeanor. Valeria is strict and demanding , but she’s also one of the bestest - many students wish to be teached by her.

And even if it seems nearly impossible, Valeria does have favorites. Very few - 3-4 students in whole university, but boy are they privileged.

Valeria values conformity over anything else. She prefers students that are polite and well-behaved, never causing any commotion or fuss. And you happened to be just that - miss goody two shoes, one of the bestest in your year, never once failing ho hand in whatever assignment Valeria gave you, no matter how complicated or cumbersome the work was.

Garza quickly caught onto your skills, and by the end of first year she already valued you over the rest of your group. Not only the brilliance of your mind, which was capable of so many amazing thing, drew her in; you’re quite a sight for sore eye as well - clothes always neat and ironed, hair framing your pretty face perfectly no matter what, light makeup only highlighting your natural beauty. Valeria couldn’t help her eyes lingering on your soft thighs whenever you decided on wearing a skirt or a dress to uni, flooding her head with images of these exact thighs spread wide before her.

It was quite a challenge for Valeria to find any mistakes in your works. You were a smart little girl, she had no doubts about it at that point. But every time, with extreme effort, professor Garza managed to find all the little flaws in your works. They did seem ridiculous tho, something other math professors wouldn’t even deem as a mistake. So first time this happened you came up to the older woman, asking about your strangely low grade; and Valeria, voice softer with feigned sympathy, patiently explained why she had to grade you so lowly. “I hope you do better next time, hm?” She’d say with a small smile, dismissing you from her classroom. Oh how the sight of your pouting lips and teary eyes got her off

As semester drew nearer to its end your works didn’t seem to improve even a slightest bit. At this point you were convinced that it was something personal - that professor Garza simply disliked you (oh if only you knew). So it was a surprise when Valeria called out for you to stay behind as everyone was leaving after the end of her lecture. You obediently descended the stairs of high auditorium, coming to her desk, standing there patiently as all the students left.

Once alone in the room, Valeria turned to face you, one hip leaning onto the edge of her working desk. Her dark eyes gazed at you from above thin lenses of her reading glasses, arms crossed over her chest making her tits perk up teasingly from within two unmade buttons of her white blouse.

“Y/n, I wanted to talk to you about your grades” she said, her voice sounding a bit softer than usual - voice she used on you only. Your body tensed slightly at her words, your fingers gripping your books more tightly as you looked at her tentatively.

“I made a small research on your academic performance and it seems that you only struggle with my subject. Is there any particular reason to this?” She asked, concern lacing her words.

You bit your tongue, fighting back bitter words of indignation - it was Valeria’s fault only that your grades in math were so low. But you kept silent, gazing dully onto the floor under your feet. Professor Garza heaved a heavy sigh, her heart thrumming loudly within her chest at what she was about to do.

“Y/n, you’re a very smart girl, and I don’t want you to ruin your record because of arithmetics. I can give you some extra credit” she said calmly, your ears perking up at her words.

You looked up at the older woman, obviously surprised - Valeria never gave extra credit, no matter the circumstances. You blinked rapidly a few times - you won’t lose such an opportunity, you’d be a fool if you did.

“Sure, I’d be very grateful!” You said quickly, looking at Valeria with wide eager eyes.

She only smiled at your words, nodding for you to come closer. As you did, she took your books and notes out of your hands, placing them on the faraway side of her desk. “You won’t need these”

As you were going to ask what she meant her warm hand clasped around the back of your neck, slamming you against her desk. With a small squeak you were bent over the table, your cheek squished against some papers scattered on top of it. You felt Valeria’s hot chest pressing against your back, her free hand glided up and down the side of your hip as she whispered into your ear “Now I need you to be a good little girl and spread your legs wider”

And you did. Arousal pooled in the pit of your stomach, making your knees go weak as Valeria’s hand slipped in between your soft thighs - just like she always dreamed of, massaging your soft pussy through thin material of your panties.

Soon enough these same panties were shoved into your mouth to muffle all desperate cries tearing through your chest as to not disturb other professors in nearby auditoriums; three of Valeria’s long fingers fucked in and out of your drooling pussy with loud squelching sounds, her fingertips grazing that one spot deep within you, making your eyes roll and toes curl.

You exited professor Garza’s auditorium on trembling legs, your makeup and hair unnaturally messy, eyes unfocused and bleary but - most importantly - with impeccable record on arithmetics.

But to keep your math performance this way, you had to visit professor Garza some more for extracurricular activities <3

Likes, reblogs and comments are highly appreciated! Writers live off feedback, give us some love<3

[roseboysstuff]

Thinking about fuckbuddy ghost (this is ftm reader btw)

Ghost who is amazing in bed, his cock dragging orgasm after orgasm out of your cunt

Ghost who doesn't really give the best aftercare, cleans you up and then waves goodbye

Ghost who totally doesn't love you, you're just a convenient lay

Ghost who loves watching you ride his cock, your hair bouncing and your eyes squeezed shut. The pleasure evident on your face. "Beautiful." He thinks, distantly, as his cock explodes with pleasure, shooting the familiar hot seed into you.

Ghost who starts watching you every time he fucks you. He can't get enough of your face. You just look so handsome, all covered in sweat and your face flush with pleasure.

Ghost who still definitely doesn't love you.

Ghost who argues with you, when you tell him you're catching feelings for him. He's mad, because now he has to face his own feelings.

Ghost who watches you run away to your room, crying. His pride preventing him from following you. Despite how much he wants to gather you in his arms, and love you.

Ghost who doesn't get the chance to apologise, as he's sent on a solo mission, lasting for 4 months straight. Who doesn't know what's happening back in the base, during his absence.

Soap who sees your heartbroken expression, and can't stand it.

Soap who brings you a beer, saying "bottom's up", in his glorious scottish accent.

Soap who listens all night, as you pour your heart out to him, crying until your eyes are dry and bloodshot. Who hugs you, until the alcohol makes you drift off peacefully.

Soap who's still there the next morning, stroking your hair, and helping you through your hangover. The care and affection making you melt slightly, not knowing what you needed.

Soap who desperately wants to ask you out, but is patient. He knows you need space.

Soap who can't wait anymore, who only 2 months after Ghost has left, takes you out. Who sits with you on a grassy hill, watching the sun go down. Holding your hand, and sipping some wine.

Soap who takes you back to bed that night, and unlike the rough thrusts and near silence of Ghost, is sweet. His honeyed words like a balm to your soul, his tender touches sending hot shivers down your spine. Who's cock isn't as big as Ghost's but who treats you like a precious gem.

Soap who makes you climax as many times as you want that night, and who finally fills you with his seed, only after making sure it's what you truly want.

Soap who gives perfect aftercare, holding you, reassuring you, loving you.

Soap Johnny who is the perfect boyfriend, and who after only a few weeks, when you're suddenly pregnant with his child, doesn't abandon you.

Johnny who proposes right then and there, not wanting you to feel abandoned ever again.

Ghost who returns from his mission, ready to apologise to you, knowing now that he really does love you.

Ghost who sees the strange looks, as he asks about you.

Ghost who is told about both yours and Johnny's honourable discharges.

Ghost Simon who sits in his room in the barracks, desperately trying to find any lingering remnants of your scent on his bed

Simon who cries that night, remembering your face, wanting to see it again. Not just flush with pleasure, but bright with joy. Grinning and laughing, smiling at him with the love he now feels tortured by

Simon who receives an invite to your's and Johnny's wedding, and covers it with his tears that night.

Simon who stands there, in a black suit, watching the love of his life walk down the aisle, with the protuding baby bump under your wedding clothes. But he's not standing at the end of the aisle.

Simon Riley, who watches as you change your last name to MacTavish, desperately wishing you were changing it to Riley

Johnny MacTavish, who holds you tightly, thankful for the chance to have you. Who'll never treat you wrong.

Your husband and father of your baby, Johnny, who made you believe in love again.

[grey342]

Bathroom

Phil Wenneck x reader

synopsis - Reader has been avoiding Phil so he pulls her aside at a party to talk..

warnings - MDNI 18+ content, semi-public sex, Phil being kinda dominant, fingering, use of names (slut), edging (kinda) and unprotected sex.

authors note - *insert 'Bathroom' by Montell Fish* This was the winner from the poll, I really hope you guys like it. Thank you for being so patient, you have no idea how much it means to me! I'm going to attempt to get one fic out per week but no promises. So sorry for the wait but I hope you love it <3

please do not steal my work - belongs to @grey342

He's been eyeing you up all night.

You’re celebrating Stu's promotion. He’s been waiting five months for this and you’re so happy that he finally got it.

You and the guys decided to do a surprise party for him with his friends, co-workers and family. You’ve been trying to distract yourself all night and keep your distance from him but, the tension hanging in the air doesn’t go unnoticed.

A couple of months ago you and Phil made a mistake. An amazing one but still, a mistake.

The group went out for their weekly hangout this time, in a bar. You had just broke up with your fifth boyfriend of the year and to say you were feeling depressed was an understatement. Phil was recently divorced and couldn’t be fucking happier. And what better way to celebrate than getting shitfaced with his best friends.

You were wearing a short green dress that showed off your cleavage and it was taking everything in Phil to not tear it off you right there and then. He was wearing his classic black button-up shirt, not done up all the way, and a pair of slacks with a bulging print in them. You had to keep your legs tightly pressed together whenever you looked at him. At one point you swore you drooled a little.

Neither of you would ever admit the sexual tension that hid in the cracks of your friendship. But it was there and it had been since high school. Moving on, a few too many drinks were had and the next morning you woke up not in your bed and not alone. Flashbacks of the night before ran rampant through your mind, you didn't want to face it so you got up and left.

You didn't speak for a couple weeks after that incident. Eventually, it came up when you had a moment alone at Doug and Tracy's:

You wait until you're one hundred percent sure everyone else is out of earshot.

"We need to talk." You say direct.

"Yeah, we do," he inhales, "i'm gonna be straight with ya' that was the best sex i've ever had." You open your mouth and close it, like a goldfish. Out of the list of things you had expected him to say, that didn't even make top 50.

"I-uh, come again?"

"No I haven't since then unfortunately." He smirks.

"Phil," You sigh disappointedly.

"C'mon, you're telling me that wasn't the best sex of your life? Hm?" He stares into your eyes. You would never admit it to him, but it really was the best night of your life. You remember the way he used his hands and mouth. How he made you scream with only two fingers. You were awakened from your daydreaming by his chuckling.

"That's what I thought."

"Phil I have no idea-"

"Yeah sure you don't now listen, I had a good time, you had a good time. Both of us just got out of a relationship so we're not looking for anything too serious. So I propose a friends with benefits agreement."

"What?" You say, almost too loudly.

"Lower your voice, I mean I don't see the big deal. All it would be is meaningless sex, anytime we want. NO strings attached. And we could break it off at any point. What do you say?" He puts out his hand.

"Really? We're gonna shake on it?," his expression doesn't falter, "fine. But we have to agree to not catch feelings and if we do we must break off the agreement immediatley."

"Sweetheart, don't take this the wrong way but that's not gonna happen." He nodded towards his hand and you shook it, not realising what the hell you just got yourself into.

Back to the present moment, you were talking with some of Stu's work colleagues when you felt a presence behind you:

"Sorry guys do you mind if I steal her for one second?" A voice you would recognise in a crowd of screaming people says. All the men nodded as you felt a strong hand grip your arm and drag you away.

He pulled you into the bathroom, shoved you against the door and locked it. You try to avoid his gaze but he grabs your chin forcing you to look at him.

"Why are you avoiding me?" He grunts.

"Avoiding you? I'm not avoiding you."

"Don't lie to me." He hardens his grip, squishing your cheeks together. You thighs clamp together.

"I'm not lying to-" Your cut of by your own moan as his hands reach under your dress and rub over your clit through your panties.

"What was that? Hm?" He prompts but your mind is too fogged with the pleasure he's currently giving you.

He moves his other hand from your face down to your breasts and begins fondling them, playing with your nipples through the fabric. Your head is spinning.

"What, you like that?," he scoffs, "of course you do." Your eyes are screwed shut but you know he has a cocky grin on his face.

He stops his actions completley and before you can protest, he pulls down your panties and shoves his two fingers inside you, curling them also. You let out a loud moan, aware that anyone passing by would've heard it.

He must've seen the slight panic on your face because he says: "Don't be shy baby, let them hear how much of a slut you are for me." You moan in response.

You hear his belt being undone as well as his fly, you look down seeing his bulging dick through his pants. You move your hand, pull him out and begin to slowly pump your hand up and down. He moans loudly as you start to kiss his neck. He moves his fingers faster, bringing you to the brink of an orgasm. Your pace quickens as you look up at him he places his mouth on yours, sharing breaths.

"Shit, i'm close." You squeak out. Hearing this he stops his movements. You open your mouth to curse at him when he silences you by thrusting into you, you wrap your legs around his hips and claim his mouth.

The pair of you fight for dominance in a clash of teeth and tongues. He ultimately wins, thrusting up into you at a pace that has you moving up and down the wall. You break away to catch your breath, he bites your bottom lip and pull on it lightly. You let out a whimper and claw at his back.

"You like that? You dirty little slut, this is what you get for avoiding me.." He speaks deeply. You can feel yourself getting close.

"Phil.." You warn, tears forming in your eyes.

"Scream my name baby, let everybody know who's fucking you this good." His hand moves down to rub harsh circles on your clit.

"Oh shit.."

"That's it let it all out, cum for me baby.." He groans, he leans down, kissing and sucking your neck. You moan in unison, he finds your sweet spot and bites down.

"Fuck!" You scream out the pleasure exploding over you, your legs begin to shake.

"Oh shit, oh shit!" Phil whimpers, shooting his load inside of you. Once you calm down and your legs stop shaking, he places you on the ground. You look at yourself in the mirror and fix your appearance as an attempt to look presentable. After he pulls his pants up, he grabs your panties and puts them on for you. Raising to your level he says:

"Now your gonna go back to that party with my cum still inside you," he kisses you, "meet me outside at 9. We're not done yet." He gives you one last kiss, a slap on the ass and opens the door for you.

You walk out the door with a huge grin on your face and Phil's cum trickling down down your legs.

[inrockstarfashion]

Reader is dating Max Verstappen, she let’s slip a Dutch swear word making him (maybe other drivers) break down laughing

I’m Australian with Dutch/Greek roots, so I know swear words in both and have let them slip out 😅🙃 verdomde hel (fucking hell)

I loved this prompt! I relate to this so much, I spent three years in Germany when I was extremely young and I definitely use sheise (shit) at least once a day.

I’m so sorry this is so late. University has been absolutely insane. It’s shorter than I wanted it but it’s been sitting in my drafts for far too long.

The weekend went amazing. Obviously in your biased opinion, being that your very own Max Verstappen got P1 (again). Tonight you were celebrating with Max along with several other drivers and the other wags at a club, getting drunk and letting loose after the intense race weekend.

You sat at a table in the back corner of the club with Max, Lando, and Daniel

“I’m going to grab another drink. Do you want anything?” You asked Max, pinching his sleeve towards you.

Max nodded, “Gin tonic, please.” You nodded your head once and let go of his sleeve, placing your hand on his shoulder for leverage and standing up from the table. You made your way through the crowd of people, finally making it to the bar.

“Gin and tonic and a Negroni, please.” You spoke to the bartender. He turned and began mixing the drinks. You waited patiently and soon the bartender placed both glasses in front of you. You thanked him before picking up the glasses and cautiously made your way back to your table.

Successfully making it back, you passed the gin and tonic over to Max. “Thank you, liefje.” Max said, taking the glass from you. You set your drink on the table and sat back down beside him. Max moved his arm to rest behind your head, you listened in on the conversation currently happening between the three men, trying to catch up on what you’d missed. You picked up your glass, pinching the small, black straw and taking a sip of the smooth red liquid. You decided to get more comfortable and cross your legs but not before smacking your knee on the underside of the table, rattling everything sitting on top, and nearly choking on the Negroni. Pain blossomed through your knee at the impact.

“Verdomde hel.” You muttered, setting your glass down as you were rubbing your knee with your palm. Max immediately went into hysterics. Doubled over, howling with laughter. It scared me at first, Max does often laugh this loud (or hard). You watched him in confusion as you rubbed the top of your knee, trying to wipe away the throbbing sensation.

“Breathe, love.” You reminded him as he continued to wheeze into his hands which were currently covering his face. Tears were streaming down in cheeks as the other drivers at the table squealed and chuckled alongside Max.

“That was the funniest thing I’ve ever heard you say!” Max said, his voice still very shrill. He gathered himself and ran his fingers under his glassy eyes, wiping away the tears. “When did you learn Dutch like that?” He asked, turning to look at you and clearing his throat.

“Oh, uh, I don’t know. My parents spoke little phrases here and there. Guess I picked it up from them.” You shrugged, looking at Max and his rosy cheeks.

Max pursed his lips and nodded his head. He wrapped his arm around your shoulders and pulled you closer to him, giving you a quick kiss to your temple. “You should start talking like that more often.” He said, completely serious with a smile on his face. You threw your head back and laughed.

Ciao!

[delulu-is-the-solulu-843]

Abby helping you through depression

The Good and The Bad

Abby Anderson x Fem!reader

Summary: when your depression rears its ugly head back around Abby refuses to let you suffer alone.

A/N: thank for the request anon. Please know that this work deals with topics of depression. Thoughts and feelings of depression are explained in detail so if this is something that you find triggering please do not read this.

Warnings: depression, issues of self worth, reader’s thoughts do get dark in this, if I missed anything let me know.

You couldn’t get up you just couldn’t do it. All you could do was stare at the ceiling and let your mind wander against your better judgment. You knew what was happening, you started to get the signs of it last week. The tiredness that weighed down your body, the lack of motivation to do quite literally anything, the mood swings, the feeling of just nothingness that seemed to encase you. You felt guilty for feeling this way you had a good life. Steady job, roof over your head, food on the table, loving friends and family, and a beautiful girlfriend.

You hated yourself for feeling a creeping loneliness when you had such an amazing and thoughtful girlfriend. Abby was one of the best things in your life how dare you feel alone? These thoughts kept circulating throughout your brain and getting worse by the minute. You weren’t good enough for her she deserved better, you weighed her down, you were a burden that was passed onto her. Your mind wanders to thoughts of your friends and family, what if they just put up with you? You think of every time you e failed, every time you’ve felt low in your life and all of those thoughts manifest in to a bitter ball of depression that sits right on your chest weighing you down.

Would anyone even miss you? Do you even deserve to be missed? As soon as that thought crosses your mind you try to shake it away but you can’t. The voice in your head getting louder and louder. You almost don’t even hear the door open but you see the light from the open door illuminate the darkened room.

“Sweetheart?” Abby’s voices sounds in the room and you can’t bring yourself to sit up to look at her. No you didn’t want her to see that state you were in because you k ew for a fact she’d try to help you. She didn’t deserve to babysit you after she got done dealing with patients all day.

You feel the mattress sink beside you as she sits on the bed next to you. You can feel her worried eyes looking over your features. “Have you gotten out of bed today?” She asks her voice gentle not an ounce of judgment to be heard. You know for a fact she wouldn’t judge your answer but right now you’re afraid to tell her.

You don’t want her to know how pathetic and lazy you are. That you couldn’t even leave the bed.

“Ok I’m gonna take that as a no” Abby says as she tucks some hair behind your ear. “I just ask because I want to know if you’ve eaten today.” You finally find it in yourself to shake your head ‘no’. You see her nod out of the corner of your eye.

“Alright let’s get some food in you okay? And then we’ll go from there.” She tells you, she had the protocol down pat now. Another thing you felt guilty for. You’re her girlfriend for god sake not a fucking patient, she shouldn’t have to come home and have to take care of more people, you should be taking care of her yet here you are.

“Nuh uh nope, don’t even finish that thought I know where that beautiful brain is going. Look at me please baby?” She asks, her voice so soft and gentle. A tone that’s reserved for you and you only.

You let your eyes fall shut for a moment before you take a deep breath and turn your head. You open your eyes and meet Abby’s worried blue eyes.

“There’s my girl” she says with a smile and you try to give her some type of smile in return but it comes out as more of a grimace.

“Listen to me. I love you, you are my everything and I want to be here for you when you need me. It’s not some burden or some task okay? It’s taking care of the woman I love and I will do that till my last breath.” Abby tells you, her words full of conviction and honesty.

You feel the tears burning behind your eyes, your vision swims as tears begin to gather. Her words set you over the edge and in seconds you’re clinging to Abby as your body rocks with sobs. You just needed her right now, you needed to be in her arms, you needed her to fight off the dark thoughts clouding your brain.

“Oh honey” she coos as she holds your trembling body close to hers, you’re practically on her lap at this point. You sob into her shoulder, your tears making marks against the soft fabric of her shirt. She gently rubs your back and rocks you as you let out the emotions that have been building for days.

You don’t know how long as passed, could have been 15 minutes could have been 45. Slowly your breathing starts to regulate and the onslaught of tears have become little sniffles as Abby continues to rub your back and whispering sweet nothings as you finally gather yourself. You take a deep breath and inhale the scent that is purely Abby. Feeling the comforting warmth of her body and the scent that you’ve come to relate to love has calmed you down significantly.

She kisses your forehead before she hands you a tissue. You wipe your eyes and you blow your nose.

“I’m such a mess I’m sorry” you hoarsely apologize

“Nonsense you’re perfect”

You’re about to open your mouth and say something but she stops you before you can.

“I will not take any disagreement. You are absolutely perfect and I will spend the rest of today, tomorrow, and everyday after that proving it to you.” She says as she wraps her arms around you in a bear hug, pressing little kisses all over your face.

“How about this we get some food in you, take a shower, get you changed into some new pajamas and then we’ll sit down and watch a movie. How does that sound?

A small part of you wanted to disagree and keeping rotting in bed but a bigger part of you wanted-no needed that.

You nod your head, “yeah that sounds really nice” you softly say your voice still a bit hoarse from disuse.

Abby stands with you in her arms as she walks to the kitchen and sets you down on the counter as some makes an early dinner for the both of you. She talks about her day and manages to get a few chuckles out of you which she considers to be a win. Once food is eaten she fills up your water bottle and sets it on the bedside table.

She gets the shower ready and once you’re in she strips off her clothes and follows in behind you. She washes your hair for you and run the washcloth over your body as she tells you how much she loves your body, every single part your insecure of she have at least 20 nice things to say. The moment is not sexual but extremely intimate, the love she has for you is outpouring. Her kind words bring kinder thoughts to your mind as she showers every inch of you in praise.

After the shower you’ve changed in her your shirt and a pair a sweatpants, your sitting on the couch snuggled into Abby while a comfort movie plays on the tv. You can feel some of the coldness melt away, the dark bitterness of your mind slowly brightening as Abby showers you with love and makes sure you know just how loved you are. The depression will never 100% be gone, this is something that you will forever deal with. You have your good days and you have bad days like today but it seems almost doable with Abby by your side.

“I know you didn’t sign up for this but thank you. I wouldn’t want to have to go through this alone.” You tell her honestly

“Baby I signed up for this” she says as she turns her head to look away from the movie to look at you, her eyes meeting yours. So much love was held in those blue eyes you almost had to look away.

“I signed up for the good, bad, and everything in between. I signed up to be with you and I want everything that comes with it. This is something we’ll shoulder together. For better or for worse.” She smiles as she links her pinky with yours.

“We’re not even married.”

“Not yet we aren’t.” She says as she pressed a kiss to her head.

“You don’t have to thank me for being here for you, alright?” She brings your hand to her lips and she presses a gentle kiss to the back of it.

“I want every part of you, good and the bad.

“The good and the bad” you softly repeat after her with a small smile on your lips, the first smile she’s seen from you all day.

Once she sees the smile on your lips she leans down to gently capture your lips with hers. The kiss soft and full of love as she pulls away she has a soft smile of her own.

“Better or for worse” she whispers against your lips as she leans in for another kiss.

A/N: hope you all enjoyed this. Everyone has a different experience with depression with this is used my own experience and struggles but it’s different for everyone. If you are struggling please know that you do not deserve to struggle alone. There is help out there and my dms are always open if you need to talk. Remember to take stay hydrated and take your meds, and as always love y’all💖

Dividers are by @cafekitsune

Pictures are from Pinterest

[emeritus-fuckers]

HI I LOVE Y'ALL'S BLOG SO MUCH!!! AAAA

Okay, I'll calm down now. I was wondering if you'd be interested by the idea of a newly summoned ghoul reader struggling to get to grips with their instrument and panicking about not being good enough for tour yet and being comforted by one of the ghouls?

I'm currently struggling to learn bass to get good enough for a band I have a chance to be in and it's really wreaking havoc on my mental health being so confused and getting it wrong over and over and y'all's writing in comfort scenarios always makes me feel better... So I thought I'd shoot my shot!

I hope you're having an amazing day, this blog brightens up my day every time! <3

Water ghouls helping a newly summoned ghoul learn their instrument

Chain (it/ghoul)

Chain is a fucking goofball.

Don't let its big, intimidating form fool you, Chain is a goofy dumbass who can barely keep up a "mysterious" act.

So when you come to ghoul and ask to learn how to play bass, it's delighted to help, all giggly and shit.

Ghoul's not the best teacher, he gets too excited and ahead of ghoulself, teaching you the "cool" riffs becore the easy ones.

It does get bonus points for being patient and hyping you up, though.

And the reward kisses. The reward kisses are nice.

Lake (he/him)

He comes accross very serious and when you ask him and you are pretty nervous.

He nods and gestures for you to follow him. He finds a cozy practice room well out of the way.

Despite his scary front he takes teaching you very seriously and is very supportive.

He's actually a really good teacher and takes time to show you good technique and teach you the songs you need to learn.

He rarely gives out compliments but when he does you know he completely means it.

Also when you get him to smile, either by a joke or playing well or just by being yourself.

You end up getting very close.

River (they/them)

They are a slut about it. A complete whore.

Every single dirty joke they can make while teaching you is made. Everything from fingering it correctly to thrusting with their own bass.

Shockingly, they are still a very good teacher. Only making the dirty jokes as you get closer to mastering each skill.

River definitely sits behind you to guide your hands on new notes and skills, hands on teacher when it’s needed. Only with consent of course.

Will absolutely bring you out for food after practice. They’re a slut but a classy slut. They buy you dinner before trying to get in your pants.

Cowbell (they/it)

It's a bit surprised to be your choice for bass lessons. After all, their only real performance was what landed them a name. And it was just trying to prank Papa.

But, the name stuck and it just couldn't go out of its way to change it, especially when you started to use "Cowie" as a cute little nickname that they just needed to hear every single day of its life.

But, fortunately for you, they just so happen to play bass as well, just like most water ghouls. They were just beginner level, but still.

You two practice together, figuring the instrument out.

It's a lot of fun, both you and Cowbell enjoy it a lot, even if it's a bit frustrating sometimes. At least you get frustrated together, right?

You end up better than it. Somehow, you end up tutoring them, instead of the other way around.

Mist (he/she)

He's thrilled to help out with that. Mist really likes alone time together, especially if you two just chill, enjoying a common hobby.

So she's happy to teach you guitar. Might offer playing Guitar Hero first so you can train your fingers a bit.

The first song you learn how to play is Gorillaz's Feel Good Inc., which is her favorite non-Ghost song. And the bass is very pleasant in the song.

He casually rests against your back, just listening to you play and giving small comments on what you can do better whenever you mess up.

There's this weird feeling of comfort during your practice sessions.

She starts a tickle fight the moment you put the guitar down.

Never let them know your next move type of shit.

Rain (he/she/ve)

He's a bit surprised when you ask, but doesn't see a reason to refuse.

But hey, ve's a good teacher! Really good, actually.

Rain sometimes even organizes classes for ghouls and Siblings who want to play bass.

She first gets you your own bass and lets you customize it with stickers. Not many people know this, but Sodo got the "YouSuck" sticker from her.

He's very patient with you, starting with basic notes and riffs before slowly moving to more complicated stuff.

Somehow, no matter who ve's teaching, her work is always excellent when it comes to teaching.

And he's very sweet with his rewards, if you catch my drift.

Storm (they/he)

They're chill with the idea. I mean, if you wanna learn, then who is he to deny you the fun that is playing bass?

Also, he doesn't say bass like the instrument, he says it like the fish, which is sorta funny during the lessons.

No, they will not be corrected on how to say it.

He's gonna sit you in his lap and show you everything, step by step.

They also let you experiment and play around, offering tips whenever you ask.

A decent teacher, not too great but not too bad, either.

~

Chain, Cowbell, Mist, Rain and Storm written by Nosferatu.

Lake written by Nyx.

River written by Death.

[rickssugarplum]

Rick Returns

After a much too long hiatus, I have finally made a new Rick fic. Wow. A lot has changed since my last fic, but I want to thank all of you amazing readers who have been so patient. Please forgive me if my writing is a little rusty. Thanks again and excited for Season 7 tonight! ❤

(Rick C-137 x Reader) SFW-, Swearing, Hurt/Comfort, Missing Someone, Season 6 Spoilers, 1,900+ words

Rick comes to see you again after a long time. And you find some changes in him.

    *************************************************

It had been too long. Far too long. You hadn't heard a single word from Rick in what felt like a lifetime and were still wondering what the hell went wrong. It seemed to have happened out of nowhere. One day, everything had been fine, and then suddenly, he all but disappeared. He didn't come see you anymore; he wouldn't call you up, not even a single text. At first, you started to think an adventure went awry. Then you started thinking something was really wrong, but you weren't sure what. Is he on a new planet? Did he have to do a high-paying mission? What if he's hurt? Or could he be dead? With how things are now, he might as well be. He started to become a series of bittersweet memories now. You did everything you could to try to forget him, but that was pointless. Rick Sanchez wasn't a man you can just forget, no matter how hard you tried. Many tears were shed, and many thoughts crept into your mind. If his leaving had nothing to do with his space-traveling lifestyle.

Did I do something wrong?

Did he find someone else?

Was I...not enough?

Many months had passed, and you were certain the blue-haired scientist was out of your life forever.

Close to midnight, you were in your bathroom washing your face and getting ready to sleep. As you enter your bedroom, about to lay down in your bed, you hear a sound you thought you would never hear again—the loud warp of a portal.

Immediately, your heart sped up rapidly as you wondered if you were hallucinating. But when you saw a young brunette boy in a yellow t-shirt, you were completely puzzled.

".....Morty??"

You were worried he was here to tell you really bad news about his grandfather. But you had no time to even ask what was happening before another figure broke through the portal. A figure much taller. The silhouette of his spiky hair caught your eye immediately.

It was him. He was here. Rick was back in your room.

His eyes were fixed on you right away. There was almost a determination in them. Yet he also looked unsure.

"Thanks, Morty. I'll take it from here." He motioned the kid to the portal, presumably back home. The boy took a worried glance at both of you before turning back through the portal and disappearing. Now it was just you and Rick. Looking into his eyes for the first time in forever, all the pain came back crystal clear. And the source was right in front of you.

"Bab-"

"DON'T. YOU. DARE. 'BABY' ME."

Rick shut his mouth and understood right away. You were not going to let him off so easily.

"You son of a bitch." You spat at him.

"I know you're mad, and I-"

"Mad!? You ghost me for months; I haven't had even one measly fucking text, and you think I'm mad!?" You interrupted. "I didn't know what the hell happened to you! All these months without any contact from you. Nothing."

Rick stayed silent. He had no argument to make.

"At first, I just thought, 'Oh, he's on a big adventure with Morty! No biggie!' Or had a run-in with an alien mob or something, and it would just take a bit longer to get back to me," you explained. Looking back at Rick, he was rubbing the back of his neck, his eyes looking down to the floor. But you knew he was still listening.

"I was starting to think you were dead." You confessed, trying to keep yourself together.

Rick took in a deep breath before he answered. "I owe you an explanation. All I ask right now is that you'll let me give you that," he requested.

Goddamnit. Just hearing his voice again is painful.

"I thought you were done bailing on people," you said bitterly.

Rick interjected, "Hey, don't start with that." You watched him grab his flask out of his lab coat and take a sip from it.

"Why? Truth too much for you? Does the great Rick Sanchez actually have a kryptonite?" you mocked.

Rick put his hand over his mouth, keeping himself quiet as you let out everything you suppressed inside all this time.

"You told me you'd never leave me behind. No matter where you'd go, you would stick around." You scoffed. "I was really fucking stupid to believe you."

Rick was starting to get agitated. This was not how he pictured this playing out.

"Ugh. Look, I didn't come here to argue."

"No. You want to smooth everything over so I can do any favors you'll want. Bet you never even thought about me all this time. Out of sight, out of mind, right?"

"It's not like that!" he argued. The nerve of him "Why wouldn't it be? It's the same ending to every chapter in your life, Rick. You'll never change."

He winced. That one stung a little. You knew some of your statements could hurt him, but you were too angry to care. Part of you wanted him to see how it felt to be let down by someone you've given your heart to.

"You left an entire dimension after destroying it."

Rick was losing his composure. "Don't."

"Left your family on a tiny planet when the world was going to shit."

He didn't want to hear any of this. "Stop."

"You left Morty to be with some fucking crows."

"Knock it off," he warned.

"Or what!? Are you gonna leave again?" you challenged. "I was starting to accept the fact that you wouldn't come back. What would stop you now?"

"That's not what I meant!" he argued.

"Why would I be so special that you wouldn't bail again? You've done it your whole life. Starting with your own wife and daughter!"

Rick lost it. "I DIDN'T LEAVE MY WIFE AND DAUGHTER!" he shouted. His hands tangled in his hair, and his eyes squeezed shut.

That stopped you dead in your tracks. Confused, you stepped closer to him. A soft gasp escapes when you see that his face has now become wet with tears.

"Rick...?" you said softly. All the rage you previously had inside you has now completely evaporated. This new shift startled you. He was not someone who openly broke down. Nor would he tell such a lie while doing so.

If he didn't leave them, then why weren't they ever with him? Unless his wife took their child and left him, or if they had...

...........

No.

A new feeling is integrated into you: guilt. You were starting to pick up all the tragic pieces together. The heartbreak was plain to see on Rick's face as he trembled in front of you.

In that moment, the source of all his demons became more clear than ever before. He had truly suffered the worst kind of pain.

"Oh...Rick...." Your voice cracked. The distance between you both closed as you wrapped your arms around him. He accepts them immediately and holds on tightly.

"I'm so sorry..."

His face is buried in your neck. To shield his face, or more to just feel you again, it didn't matter. Right now, he needed this. Stroking his baby blue hair, you had almost forgotten how soft it was...

"Rick...I'm sorry...I had no idea..." you said in shame, thinking back to everything you'd said to him before. Now, he had every right to be mad at you. But his first response you received was a soft, gentle kiss on your neck, making you lightly shiver.

"It's haunted me for many years. Consumed most of my life," he confessed. Lifting his head up, you see his face. His eyes were red, and his cheeks were damp from his hurt flooding out of him. Your thumbs gently brush away the tears under his eyes. "I...thought I had finally could have a new chance to find some stability, be with a family, but...something did come up...and it all came flooding back..."

Your brows raised at that.

"So...that's why I haven't been around."

You still weren't entirely aware of the whole story. But one thing was certain: When Rick Sanchez is consumed by something, he gives his all into it.

"I'm such a fucking idiot..." you blurted out, shaking your head. "I thought...you had just gotten bored and moved on from me..."

Rick interjected, "Oh no, baby no..." He pulled you back into his arms, placing your head on his chest. His heartbeat soothed you as you took a deep breath in and out.

"You weren't the only one I hurt here... I-I had kept Morty out of it all too..."

A sigh escapes you. "He's such an amazing grandson to you," you mutter.

"Yeah...but he's not my grands-"

"Yes, he is." You interrupted. "It doesn't matter where you came from or where he came from. He's been there for you through everything and seen you at your worst. And the fact that he came here tonight with you just to make sure you were okay shows me that he still cares about you despite everything. I know he wouldn't want any other Rick. And you wouldn't trade him for any other Morty. You are his grandpa, Rick."

His arms hold you a bit tighter, a silent 'thank you' for your encouraging words.

"Did he tell you to come talk to me?" you wondered.

"Uh no. I, uhh, hooo boy...You won't believe it when I tell you," he warned you awkwardly.

"What?" You didn't know what or who else could convince him to do anything.

"I...was told I should see you by...my uhh...therapist..." he finished, rubbing the back of his neck.

Your eyes bugged out in shock. "A therapist!? You're seeing a therapist!??

He scoffs "Okay, you really don't have to rub i-" His sentence is cut off by a surprise kiss on his cheek, leaving him a little startled. "Oh, Rick. I'm so proud of you," you say sincerely. It's as if hell had frozen over. He really has changed.

"Yeah, she's, uh, she's alright," he admits with a small smile. "She also told me to tell you what I needed to say, so... I'm sorry."

Your vision starts to get blurry with tears. Those two simple words from this man mean so much. Cupping his face in your hands, you give Rick a small smile before leaning forward and pressing your lips to his. Your arms wrap around his neck, never wanting to let him go. He holds you close when he kisses you back with a little more desperation. He hasn't been kissed by you in so long.

When you finally break away to breathe, you look into his eyes again. This time, they look more serene. As if he feels some shred of peace for the first time in... he can't remember when.

"I've missed you..." you whispered. He pressed his forehead against yours.

"I missed you too, baby..."

With that, every shattered piece of your heart had been put back together. There was more he needed to share with you, but the emotional reunion and the fact that it was late at night left you exhausted. But you were going to sleep much more peacefully with the eccentric man resting beside you once again.

After all these painful months, Rick was finally back. He's changed in some ways, and you were looking forward to seeing how these changes would guide him to a better path.

Because, no matter what happens, you will always love him.

❤

[kkcauseway]

It's happening!

Husband Joel Miller & Wife F!reader.

Summary: Joel has a dream that you're pregnant. You've been trying for a while, is this it? Warnings/content: soft Joel, slight touching on infertility- sensitive subject. Lotta fluff. High emotions. Positive pregnancy test. No outbreak, no use of Y/N. A/N: This really is just short and sweet.🫶🏻

Main masterlist I Pregnancy fics

“You ready f’this?” He questions nervously.

“Nope” you spit out popping the p, “are you?” You chuckle.

“In no way shape or form” he chuckles back “ugh why do these damn things take so long s’torture!"

It started with one, then two and now three dots blink back at you in a way you can only describe as literal torture. As you await the verdict.

“Longest three minutes ever huh? It’s probably gonna be negative again anyways” you sigh.

“S’not baby, this is happenin’ trust me v’got a feelin’.” He hates how deflated it makes you feel every time you turn the test over and see the one line or the word negative. Yet something about it all seems different this time.

“Ugh I hate this!” You moan flipping the test upside down before turning to hug into his chest.

He holds you tight as you listen in tune to his heartbeat, his soft breathing calms you quickly.

It’s the same every month, you’ve been trying for just over a year and each time you pray. The second your period is slightly late you gain hope, you’ve been testing religiously, but it’s always negative. So, when Joel woke up this morning saying he’d dreamt you were pregnant you took it as a sign to take one. You aren’t due on for another few days, so it seemed a waste, but something ignited within you. A small glimmer of hope that maybe just maybe it’s going to happen this time? The circumstances are different.

“We got this baby, no matter what happens” he keeps your body close to his. He’s your safe space, where you feel most at ease, your emotions get on top of you easily, but Joel is the best person to help you return to normality. He keeps you grounded. Keeps you sane.

“I know, and I’m so grateful for you.”

“I love you, more than you’ll ever know” he kisses the top of your head.

“I love you too” you mumble.

You embrace in silence for a moment before you decide to turn back and check. Joel has his arms firm around your waist, and you can feel his heartbeat coordinated with your own as you huff out a long breath shakily reaching out for the test.

Turning the test over, you let out a staggered breath. You both stare down at the small piece of plastic in front of you in awe. Reading the word over and over and over again.

Positive.

Positive.

ITS POSITIVE!

“Holy fuck” Joel whispers.

“Pos- I- it’s positive! Joel… it’s really positive!”

“Oh. My. God!” He laughs wetly.

You throw the test into the sink and jump into his arms holding each other close as you bask in the excitement that it’s really actually FINALLY happening. Your head in his neck as you weep.

After a minute you pull away to look him in the eye “thank you” you move to kiss his lips. “Thank you so much” you kiss him again before looking into his eyes “OH MY GOD, we’re gonna have a baby!”

“Why are you thankin’ me baby? Was a very very fun joint effort.” He chuckles as he kisses your lips once more cupping your cheeks.

“Because you’re just so amazing and you’ve been so patient with me” he chuckles moving his hands to slot into your back jean pockets as you continue “some people fall pregnant right away it’s took us over a year. I was beginning to feel as though my body just couldn’t. That my body would just fail us again and again” your voice breaks.

“Baby” he leans his forehead against yours as you both take a deep breath “never, ever talk bad about yourself like that. Everythin’ happens for a reason and it’s happenin’ now… it’s meant to be now!”

“Gahhh we’re having a baby!” You can’t help the happy tears that begin streaming down your face.

“Yeah, baby we are!” You both chuckle before Joel pushes your body slightly away to place a large palm against your stomach. He strokes gently as you place a hand atop his.

“Our baby” he whispers.

[lovebytheoutlaw]

Can you do NSFW/SFW headcanons for Javier? 👉👈 i am out here begging for content with him

You've kept me waiting, anon! *evil smirk* I love writing for Javier! He's probs my fave to write for! There definitely isn't enough content with him, and I am happy to provide!

Javier sfw headcanons

*nsfw under the cut ;)*

Such a gentleman! Helps you on and off your horse; holding your waist from behind when you're doing chores, kissing your cheek, and whispering sweet nothings in your ear. Just making you feel so safe, loved, and wanted

If you want, he'll teach you guitar! He's quite patient, especially when it comes to you, and a great teacher! Same if you asked to learn his native tongue. He'd appreciate your desire to learn and the thought of being able to converse with only you two understand each other at camp excites him

If he's having a bad day, he most likely won't talk about it right away. Instead, he'll ask you to go fishing with him, leading to you two sitting by the water silently until he's ready

Constantly making you melt with pet names! 'Mi amor', 'hermosa', 'querida', 'carino'. Serenading you, locking his eyes, full of love, as he plays just for you

Compliments you every day! "That outfit looks gorgeous on you", "You look so pretty in the firelight", "That color really brings out your pretty eyes" SUCH A FLIRT

*Wearing his poncho he gave you earlier that day* "Woah, where'd you get that poncho? I have one just like it! It's quite nice, right? *wink*"

Sarcastic banter back and forth, laughing when one of you runs out of comebacks

Kissing you before he leaves for a job you can't come with for, promising he'll be safe, kissing you when he returns, and cuddles you to sleep and again when you wake up

You can always make him laugh, even if your attempt at such was lackluster. He's so smitten by you!

Warm hugs, very good at comforting you, will listen to you talk about anything and everything, accepting of who you are, and protects you if you need it

Javier nsfw headcanons

*cracks fingers, stretches back* let's get it

CW: nsfw, sexual themes, knifeplay, degradation

Skillful fingers, not just on his instrument, but on yours as well! (If ya know what I mean) He'll catch you often staring at his fingers when he plays, or when you two are sat at a table. Purposefully tapping his fingers on said table, letting you know he noticed

He loves making out, pulling your bottom lip between his teeth, sucking on your tongue, moaning low into your mouth

Obviously, knifeplay. As long as you're comfortable and consent to it! Dragging the blade lightly up you body, the cool metal on your skin making you shiver. Holding the knife to your throat (gently!!) as he thrusts achingly slow into you. He also likes you wielding the knife some times too when you're in the mood to be dominant.

Never makes you do anything you aren't comfortable doing. Sets up safe words for the both of you. A TON of communication before anything happens

Turns you on just with his words. He's an expert at flirting, so it makes sense he would be at talking dirty as well! Soaking yourself just from him growling naughty things in your ear that when he reaches down there, he smirks, "Already wet, mi amor? All for me?"

Possessive af. "Who's this pussy/hole belong to? Say it." Marking you up, bruising your skin with his mouth, and fingerprints blemishing your hips

Javier has a stamina out of this world when it comes to sexual activity, and the sex drive of a rabbit. He'll fuck you anywhere and everywhere. All day, any day. Against a tree, at the campfire, in your tent, a hotel. Even a stagecoach after robbing it once. You guys don't mention that one much

Praises the hell out of you! "My good girl", "you're doing amazing, hermosa". However, he also likes to mix in degradation some times if you're into it~! "Take it like a good girl", "look at those pretty tears", "mierda, I love using that beautiful hole"

Slight humiliation, like making you bark, or putting you in embarrassing positions for his pleasure. Loves overstimulation

Loves making slow, sexual, intimate love to you as much as he loves rough fucking. Holds you close, kissing every inch of your skin, taking his time on you, relishing in your elongated moans, and caressing your face. "Te quiero, mi vida"

Aftercare is never skipped. He cleans you up, letting you rest (you need it after that), bringing you water, holding you and asking you if everything was okay, if there was anything you didn't like. Falls asleep with you in his arms, your face in his chest, legs intertwined

[sweaterkittensahoy]

thinking about the sports medicine doc I saw several months ago because I fucked up a tendon last year and went to get evaluated for a cortisone shot and/or PT.

Due to white-knuckling my way through severe endometriosis for several years before getting help, and then white-knuckling through two more years of active treatment because I wanted to be SURE I REALLY NEEDED to just take out everything (that I wasn't using in the first place, not wanting children), my relationship with pain is a fucking mess. Like, I could feel it HURT when my back tweaked, and that was obviously an issue. But also, I have no idea what amount of pain is average.

So, anyway, first time meeting this sports medicine guy. Sent that way by my primary care doc who has always been fantastic. But the sports medicine doc wasn't HER, so I was worried I wouldn't be taken seriously because it wasn't until I was 29 that doctors actually started listening to me about my pain.

Doctor comes in. Asks what's up. I explain how the injury happened and when it hurts. And then I took a deep breath and said the scariest thing, "The thing is, I can't actually tell you how bad it is because I have a really unclear idea of how much pain I have because I spent several years in near-constant to constant pain with severe endometriosis, so I disconnect from my pain a lot."

And this doctor goes, "Oh, okay. Good to know. I've worked with a lot of endo patients. Let me check a couple of things."

And one of the things he tried was to put his thumb right on the lower back tendon that was flared up in anger at the overall issue and PUSHED. And I made some sort of noise, and he went, "Okay, so that tendon is super angry at you. You definitely need PT to get things healed up. Do you want the cortisone shot today? If not, I'm going to tell you to ice it and take painkillers and just be careful, but that can be easier with the shot on board."

And a part of me went, "No, of course not! Why would I need that???" But what came out of my mouth was "Yes, I would like the shot."

And I was very fucking proud of myself because, my god, the RELIEF. Did it long-term fix the issue? No. That was what the PT was for. Did it PROVIDE relief? YES. Holy shit. The level of BETTER I felt was amazing.

I don't know if I have an overall point of this post except to remind you that your pain is valid. Your pain is worth lessening. Just because you've suffered with no help before doesn't mean you have to do it again. Get the cortisone shot. Get the fat ibie prescriptions (just refilled mine). Do the PT and don't push yourself to the point of pain just because the therapist is watching (still working on that one).

[melkyt]

Law has enough eccentric genious vibes to be House or any soap opera level doc lol

This amazing doctor with zero people skills, even more, this doctor that hates interacting with ppl while being the best in the country if not for all the complaints and lawsuits on his record just on the basis of being an asshole or ghosting patients even if he cures them

Luffy, some famous daredevil adventurer type with more money than he would know what to do with probably part of the mob somehow, has an older brother who needs a heart transplant. With all the other issues that Ace has, its unlikely he'll get one, even if they are on multiple transplant list, and nobody actually knows whats wrong with his heart.

(I use Ace for this trope in every fic Im not sorry. That boi can be a damsel in so many ways cx)

Luffy being Luffy decides to wander around hospitals until he A: convinces someone to give up a heart or B: Find out whats wrong with Ace, with no success on either front.

Then while wandering around he hears someone go "Yeah Trafalgar Law, best fucking doctor I have ever had the displeasure of meeting, dudes a fcking headcase but he gets the job done."

Luffy doesnt listen to most of it. He heard a name and best. Tracks Traffy down immediately! No hesitation.

With the full intent to throw money at the hospital to make them put Law on his brothers case.

But he doesn't have to, Law is ahead of him, as he keeps an eye on cases that enter his hospital and not like Luffy has been subtle in looking for Law lol, and he drops a letter in the room "Ill treat your brother, if you stop looking and leave me the fuck alone"

Luffy dumps money at the hospital anyway, and he doesn't leave Law alone, but not on purpose. The dean of the hospital keeps doing everything so they dont meet as they know as soon as they do, and Law opens his mouth, thats it for the money flow.

Luffy isnt about to go with anything anyone tries to make him do, so he finds himself trying to avoid doctors and nurses.

Law does the same, and thats how they meet. In an empty unused exam room that's more of a storage space than anything.

Luffy has no idea who Law is, he didnt bother seeing how he looked after getting the letter. He stopped looking cause it is Ace's life on the line.

Law, meanwhile, knows exactly who Luffy is, though doesn't say anything. They bond over hiding out, and soon, it becomes routine to hang out.

Eventually, Ace gets a new heart and is cured of whatever. He is discharged.

Law almost regrets that he won't spend time with Luffy anymore. He's grown to like their talks.

Luffy doesn't think about it yet. Happy his brother is healthy. When they are about to leave the hospital. Ace points and says 'yo thats the doc, i know you asked who the fuck he was' Ace only saw the man once, and Law ofc pissed him off by flippant remarks. "He's an ass"

Luffy follows his gaze and grins. "Woah, woah, that's the doc I was hanging with! He's the best" He bounces on his heels "Hey! TRAFFY!" Thats ofc what he has been calling the doc even if they never met. He runs over to Law. "My number! We should hang out all official like, I'll text you!" Then he runs out without waiting for an answer, going after Ace.

Law is a little stunned and more than a bit embarrassed that he yelled that in front of everyone. Rumors spiral for days. Law waits for his phone to buzz from Luffy but decides that it's not gonna happen and tries to go back to his life. Which is the exact point that Luffy texts him. 'Picking you up at 9!' And that's it.

They go on a date, if it can be called that. They go urban exploring because Law mentioned he was an enthusiast but didnt have the time or motivation. Luffy drags him to all his favorite places. Its the best date he has ever been on.

They go like that for awhile, at the most random times and days, Law always drops what he is doing, its a highlight in what he considers an otherwise annoying day to day.

Luffy is just happy he can make Traffy happy for saving his brother.

Law is the one who asks if Luffy wants to make it official, be boyfriends. For the first time in his life he finds himself almost stuttering over his words.

Luffy grins and nods enthusiastcly, then they kiss and everything is cool.

Law now marginally happier then he was, gets less complaints and gets along with patients a little better even if they still annoy him, he knows that if he didnt interact that one time, he would have never met Luffy.

Requests Open till 08/09/2024