#only to be healed and finally told its alright
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mapled-penitentiary · 8 months ago
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religon (hangster)
rooster was born and raised in the mitchell-kazansky house. its- eccentric, to say the least. there are notes scrawled over the table reminding maverick of his meetings. ice's shoes are lined straight near the door. its controlled chaos.
but when hangman first walks into the home, it isnt these small, minute details that jump out at him. its bradley's fingers brushing across a small mezuzah on the doorway to the house. he pays no mind. if theyre jewish, thats fine by him. it remains in the back of his mind until he comes back to the house a second time, and he spots the golden cross necklace on one of the windows. it takes him by suprise.
back in texas, the cross adorned every wall. a grey one stood above his bed, its shadow landing on jakes body as he slept in his bed. it reflected from his mothers neck as her words of poison spit out, and stayed in the background, silently surveying the scene as jake seresin ran away from his father, begging for him to stop.
here, though, in this house, it just calmly rests. it watches over the little family from its place hanging on the window.
when he stays for dinner the first time, he expects there to be prayers. there is none. he isn't unsettled, though. it just seems normal.
months pass, and slowly, jake takes up the customs that bradley does whenever he goes the the mitchell-kazansky house. he taps the mezuzah, and puts on the small kippah when he's invited to shabbos.
in the background watches the small golden cross, gleaming in the pale sunbeams that filter through the windows.
for the first time in how many years, he doesn't feel like a sinner. maybe not a saint, sure, but he knows he can turn his back to the small golden cross and just like the mezuzah, it will protect him.
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howlett-n-morgan · 1 month ago
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More Than Words
1. Familiar Stranger
Logan Howlett x OC!Reader
Series Summary: Having lived for over two hundred years and never having the privilege of skin to skin contact is the biggest burden imaginable, until someone comes along with the healing ability to withstand the touch of death.
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Chapter Warnings: This might be a lot for the start of a series but: mild language, canon typical violence, mention of a witch trial, burning at the stake, death, mutant experimentation, and a depressive episode briefly described. Logan's claws come out lol... I think that's it but let me know if I missed anything.
Chapter Summary: Nightmares that were long forgotten come crawling back, seemingly without meaning, until everything falls into place with the arrival of a familiar stranger... and he gets nightmares, too.
Word Count: 6.5k
And now there was this Logan character. “Bulletproof, huh?” he didn’t seem skeptical, just unimpressed.  “And fireproof,” you added with a small smile, turning and going down the hall to find the next open room. It was the one besides yours, and yes, you absolutely did that on purpose. “Forgive me for being forward… but I think I know you.” “You know me? Doubtful.”
The X gene -  typically found in people with mutant family history - begins showing itself around the time of adolescence, usually blossoming in young teenagers. You remember the first time you realized there was something wrong with you. The year was 1780.
You were only thirteen, and were showing signs of something no one could put a finger on. The first instance was doing laundry with your cousin, Sarah, and dipping your hands into the water the same time that she did. Her hands started to burn, and she pulled her fingers from the basin quickly, only to find her hands were fine, and the water wasn’t even that hot. You thought that maybe it was a fluke, but then the second occurrence took place. 
You’d been playing near the lake with some of your friends on your twentieth birthday, when a bolt of lightning struck you. Your friends gathered nearby to see if you were alright, but were baffled completely to find you standing there as if nothing had happened. 
That was the day that time stopped, and you never grew older. 
These were things that told you there was a difference within you, but you never knew how lethal it actually was until it reached its full potential. You only wish you’d been given a warning. 
The day it all went for worse, and your life became hell, was actually a very sunny day. You woke up the same, got dressed the same, even went out back to milk the cow… but the second you touched her, she fell limp, collapsing to the ground. Your eyes widened in terror when you realized the lovely farm animal had lost her life in that split second, unable to move, or breath. 
You ran back inside to tell your mother, but you were not careful, because how could you have known it was your fault? How could you have known your body was capable of this?
Your mother laid a hand on your shoulder to comfort you, and you brought your hand to meet hers. She too fell instantly, and it was then that you realized. 
Your touch is death.
You clung to your mother, the last person you were able to touch, crying and wailing out. 
That was the first of your crimes, but many men made the mistake of coming into contact with you that day, and it stands to reason why you have been sentenced to death. Witchcraft being their assumption on your methods, and mass murder being the charge.
You almost believed them. Almost thought that something evil was possessing you, making you do wicked and unholy things… 
Standing tied to the stake by a man with thick leather gloves, all eyes were on you, waiting for your atonement. You saw every torch that was burning, closing your eyes and accepting the punishment. You killed your mother, and eleven men. There were enough witnesses to send you straight to your grave. You waited for the flames, and felt the heat when they finally set the fires, quickly approaching you. When your eyes opened, you could see the wall of fire over the hay bales, nearly ten feet tall and at every corner. It crawled up by you and then-
You sat up in your bed, sweat dripping from your brow, and the digital alarm clock going off in your peripheral vision. 
It’s just another dream… but you haven’t had it in years. 
You treat it like the rest, going about your morning like it never happened. You’d discuss it with Charles later, he seemed to know what your nightmares meant most of the time. He knew your mind better than most, and could enter with a single thought. 
Downstairs, the commotion was rowdy, but you went ahead through the crowded space carefully and slipped on your favorite pair of forest green gloves, buckling the cute straps on the back as you made your way to the kitchen. Ororo had just brewed some coffee, and Scott was carrying two plates towards the doorway when you entered. 
“Smells good,” you said, smiling at them both, and going for a mug from the cabinet. 
Scott stopped short, turning on his heel to ask you a question. 
“I forgot about this yesterday,” he started, looking over in your direction through his red shades. “Can you take a look at the School’s Enrollment system when you get a chance? I couldn’t add a new student and I’m not sure why.”
You nodded, pouring the coffee and giving him a look of confidence. “I’m sure I can fix it, probably just the computer again.”
“Thanks,” he smiled, going to leave again, but then remembering one more thing. “Oh, and Jean loves that book you lent her, she’s been up late reading.”
“I knew she would… if she wants anything else, my library is always open,” you replied jokingly.
He left afterwards, taking his plate of breakfast and his wonderful girlfriend’s out of the room. 
“You do too much, y’know?”
You looked at Ororo, her eyes just barely peeking over her own mug. 
“I like to keep busy,” you shrugged, taking a sip of the coffee and finally letting yourself settle into the morning. “And it’s not too much if I can help you guys.”
“You know that’s not what I mean… you’ve been looking exhausted.”
“Wow, thanks.”
“I’m not being critical, I’m concerned,” she said, stepping to lean against the kitchen island so she could look at you straight on. “If there’s something going on, you can tell me.”
Yes, you could tell her. She and Jean were the closest thing you’d had to a sister in years. 
“The nightmares are back again… the last few nights have been a little rough.”
She pushed away from the counter, the look on her face reading confusion and worry. “I thought you were doing better.”
“I was,” you drank more coffee, eyebrows raised. “I don’t even know where they’re coming from. Some of these dreams I haven’t had for over fifty years. Usually they’re only about…” 
“Charlie,” she finished for you when you trailed off. You nodded, your head falling forward a bit at the mention of his name. You hadn’t dreamt of him for a while, not even good things.
“I need to visit the professor after class, he can usually tell me what’s going on.”
“It’s probably best. Those dark circles will only get worse, believe me,” she joked, gesturing to her own eyes, a bit worn with exhaustion from working late this week. 
“I’ll let you know how it goes,” you spoke with a small grin, finishing off your coffee in a big chug before rinsing the mug out in the sink. “Have a good class.”
“You, too.”
-
Looking out the window of Professor Xaiver’s office, you recalled the events of your nightmare, trying to put yourself back in the situation to see it clearly. It wasn’t easy, to relive these memories, even worse when they plagued your unconscious state… but Charles would know what it was about. He always did. 
“Tell me again, first the cow, and then your mother?” He squinted, trying to put pieces together. 
“Yes, I went out to milk the cow in the morning, like always,” you paused, the green grass outside the mansion reminding you of the pastures you lived by. “I touched betsy first, then my mother inside the house.”
All the little details should have painted a very vivid picture, but for some odd reason, nothing was coming together for Charles. He couldn’t see how this dream equated with your life as it was, and why it plagued you now. 
“I’m sorry to say it, my dear, but this may just be a regular nightmare. I cannot, from what you have told me, recognize any pattern or significance.”
“There has to be something… I haven’t had this dream in years,” you argued, unwilling to give up when you know he’s the only one who can tell you. 
He paused, closing his eyes and raking through the files of your mind to try and feel the impact of a cause… but found none. “I’m afraid the only thing I can offer is a theory. Your mind is subconsciously reminding you of your powers, what they mean. You’ve long since learned to control them, so I cannot imagine it is because of self doubt. Whatever it is, you may just have to wait and watch for more signs.”
“More signs? Like more dreams?”
“Something of that sort, yes. Until then, I’m sorry I could not help you.” He rolled his chair towards the door, following you out and into the hall. He had a meeting with Hank, and couldn’t afford to miss it. 
“It’s not your fault… I’m the one who should be sorry. I’m always annoying you with problems that don’t have anything to do with you,” you joked slightly, walking alongside him until he met his destination.”
“And I am always happy to assist you.”
“I know,” you ducked your head, stopping at the door way he entered. “But I am grateful.”
“Take that gratuity and focus it on yourself. You need to rest, you look like a raccoon.”
You chuckled, closing the door for the man, and walking down towards the kitchen again. You only needed a small pick me up before you would inevitably take a very long nap. You’d been going on a few hours of sleep each night due to the grading of homework, and the bad dreams only made the nights worse. You were somehow thankful not to wake up screaming before your alarm went off this morning. 
You headed upstairs to crash, only to find a note in your room from Jean. 
Thanks for the book, I finished it today… gonna need the next one soon. - J
A small smile spread across your face when you saw the book had already been put back on your shelf, neatly placed among the organization you normally kept it in. 
Your bookshelf spanned an entire wall, nearly becoming like a second library to the mansion for whosoever needed it. 
You didn’t necessarily love reading, but you did love knowledge, and books were one of the only ways to obtain such a tricky thing. 
Truth be told, you didn’t like a lot of learning methods, but again, you craved to know everything you could, to be not only educated but able to have a brain that could stand the tests of time. So far, it’s done a pretty decent job. Having been alive for over two hundred and thirty years came with some perks, one being, you can go to college as many times as you want, with only a different ID, and practically nothing can stop you from earning as many degrees as your heart desires. 
When Charles first met you, he knew you were a mutant, but more than that, he knew you had the aptitude of a scholar. It was no wonder you excelled in his training. If only you just attained his powers of neurological exploration, there would be no stopping you. 
You flopped backwards on the bed, looking up to your wall of diplomas and degrees. Master’s in Technological Sciences, Bachelor’s in Archival History, a silly little Associate's in Music Theory, mainly because you were feeling artistic, and lastly, the certification for practicing Law in the state of New York. You didn’t even go to law school, you’d just been bored for a while in the seventies, and the bar wasn’t that hard to pass for someone that’s been around since the first laws were written into the constitution. 
All these degrees, all these years of mastering different types of knowledge, and yet you felt completely in the dark about your own mental state. You couldn’t even figure out what your own dreams meant, or why they were back in the first place.  
You passed out cold while raking your mind for possibilities, finding none along the way.
It was a dreamless sleep this time, and for that you’d be grateful, earning some uninterrupted rest for the first time in weeks, not having to worry about waking up in a panicked sweat again. 
You were supposed to take a thirty minute cat nap… maybe an hour at most. Looking at the clock as you came to, it was 6 pm, meaning two and a half hours had come and gone, and you had missed much of the after school activities.. 
“Shit,” you muttered to yourself, climbing out of the sheets and running to the bathroom to become a bit more human looking. 
You'd run down the stairs to find the usual amount of commotion, but none of the adults were here, just the kids. 
“Bobby?” You asked, making him halt his walk towards the next corridor. “Do you know where everyone is?” 
“They left about a half hour ago. Something came up,” he turned to leave but stopped throwing a line over his shoulder. “Almost forgot… they left you in charge.”
“Great,” you mumbled, nodding to him in thanks for the information. 
You were fine dealing with the kids, but being the sole adult present in a room full of on edge teenagers put you under some stress. The one person in this entire mansion that could kill someone with a single touch was left responsible for the safety of these younglings? It was a bad idea to begin with, but you took a deep breath, knowing you had to until they were back. 
You only wondered what happened that they were gone so quickly, without a chance to tell you themselves. 
The only way to control a mutant child is to just not even try, so with knowing you were now heading the household until everyone returned, you decided to just go and kick back in the main entertainment room. The more authority is pushed, the more the kids would resist. So you didn’t push at all, just started a game of uno with some of the kids. 
“This isn’t that serious, just lay down a card!” John scolded the younger girl beside him, watching her shuffle through practically half the deck that she had in her hands. 
“I have them organized, I’m looking for the blues,” Kitty explained, ignoring his futile attempts at winning faster. “If I’m gonna lose, I’m gonna take my time.”
“If you had a four or any color, that would have worked, too,” you shrugged, but ultimately let her keep shuffling through until she found a card she was satisfied with. 
“Aha, reverse. And I know you just played your last blue card,” she mocked John, watching him roll his eyes and begin to draw new cards. 
You laughed and little, seeing his deck grow bigger until he found a blue one. 
“Well, that’s uno for me,” you said, laying down a blue five and waiting for it to circle back to you again. “Sorry, John.”
“Kitty I swear, change the color,” he begged, hoping there was something that could salvage the game for him. “She’s gonna win if you don’t.”
“I’d rather let her win, then we can start over,” she gestured to the large amount of cards in her hand, completely stacked with practically every color of the deck. 
“Don’t be so competitive, it’s just uno,” you laughed, trying to lighten his mood over such a silly thing. 
“It’s not just uno, you win at everything…” he trailed matter of factly, giving you a slanted look through his eyebrows. “It’s impossible.”
“I’ve been around a while longer than you have, maybe I’ve just picked up some tricks.”
“With uno?” He scoffed, finally coming to his senses and laughing a little. 
“Maybe,” you smirk, laying down your last card and going out. “But there’s another game for ya.”
“Like I said, impossible.”
You smiled, watching them throw their hands into the pile so you could reshuffle and deal again. This may or may not have been the third game in a row. And yes, you tended to be good at the other board games kept in the entertainment room’s cabinets. 
“Wanna go four for four.?” You asked, already knowing they would play with you, though you beat them every time. 
But then you could feel something in the air, a tension that was coming from outside somewhere. You wondered if it could be a possible intrusion, so you stood up and looked out the window, the sun completely down by now. 
“What’s wrong?” Kitty asked, standing up alongside you to try and figure out what you sensed. 
It was growing, more anxious, and you realized then that it wasn’t an intruder at all, because the anxious energy was radiating off of familiar presences. 
“Something happened,” you rushed to the back door, watching as the jet landed, sinking back into the earth where it usually came up from. The basketball court  closed over top of it, and you could see the trees and grass and bushes become still when the winds calmed down. “You’ll have to play this round without me.”
“What happened? Where did they go?” 
“I don’t know, let me find out. Make sure no one burns the house down, I’ll be back.”
And you rushed to the elevator, going down beneath the mansion to find the X central base. You heard the commotion as soon as you stepped off, all things pointing to the medical bay at the end of the long lit stretch. 
Your legs carried your faster than they normally would, getting you there in seconds. 
“Scott?” you called as soon as you saw him. “What’s going on?”
“Two new mutants, one in critical condition,” he began, pointing to the outline of a man on the surgical table, Jean doing her best to work on him with the help of Ororo on the side. “The other is with Charles, he’s trying to help her calm down, but she’s pretty shaken up.” 
“Is there anything I can do?” 
“Tell the kids, make sure they don’t panic?” he offered, and you nodded. You can’t touch anyone, so it was unlikely you could aid in either of their situations currently. “Maybe leave out the part where there’s a mutant in critical condition. We still don’t even know why they were attacked.”
“Was it a human group?” You asked, eyes flitting between both corners of the med bay. The chaos was still going on, everyone’s movements were rapid, and the girl in the corner was still crying in fear. 
“No, it was them…”
“Oh,” you understood right away what he meant. Eric and his small gang of misfits that refused to coexist with the humans. They believed mutants were superior, and therefore should not have to conform to any nation’s rules or mandates. You partially understood them from a fear aspect, not wanting laws against mutants to be passed, or mistreatment of mutants for their abilities, but the way they go about it is always wrong, and harmful. They are clearly even willing to hurt other mutants to get what they want. “Are we any closer to finding them?” 
“Nope,” he sighed, scrolling through the tablet in his hands and trying to find out if the tracker he placed actually amounted to anything. He would bet not, since the signal wasn’t even coming up. “Lost ‘em in the snow…” 
“Snow?” You turned to him quickly, “where the hell did you guys go?” 
“It’s a long story, you missed it when you were napping,” he partially joked, going back to his task. “I’ll fill you in later, just go make sure the kids know we’re fine.” 
“Okay,” you nodded, turning on your heel and leaving. You didn’t run to the elevator this time, shaking off the feeling that something big was coming. You didn’t know what or why you felt it, but it was creeping up on you since you stepped off the elevator. 
-
The next morning, the entire house was buzzing with the excitement of new recruits. You’d yet to meet them, but felt their energy in and around the house, coming and going from different rooms when you started to go about your day. 
You knew that the time for introductions would come eventually, and likely when classes were over. 
Everything had been nearly the same as the day before, except Scott didn’t have a computer problem that needed solving, so you actually got done with your other work pretty quickly. You went to get the mail that Hank always just left on the entryway table, trying to sort through so you could drop it off at each person’s individual rooms. 
“Alice?” 
“Yeah?” you mumbled without turning around, hearing Jean’s voice.
“I want to introduce you to some people. These are our new guests. Rogue, and Logan.” 
You’d turned around during Jean’s introduction of the two new recruits, however short it was, like she needed to leave them with you. You understood this was a vital time for the team, and distractions weren’t welcome… but she’d only just now handed off said distraction, and boy was it one to behold. The girl was sweet looking, about fifteen if you had to guess, but the man? You look him over once and immediately you have a flash of deja vu. Dark hair, a soft grin, and pretty hazel eyes. He’s much taller than you, and you have to look up to meet his stare.
You smiled to them, giving a nod and placing your hands behind your back in the case they might want to shake one. 
“Rogue has a mutation with similar effects to yours. If she touches someone for even a few seconds, they could die.”
You furrowed your brows when looked down at the sweet girl before you. What a sad thing to share with someone. You can see her whole life ahead of her, and the things she will have to endure just as you did, and it makes you feel compassion. 
“I’m very sorry to hear that, I know how hard it can be,” you told her. She smiled and nodded this time, just as you did but in return. She seemed to be a shy thing, head dipping every so often to appear smaller than she was. 
“Could you show them the open rooms? I’ve got to be back with Charles in a moment,” Jean rushed through, seemingly pressed for time. You were only all too happy to take them off her hands. 
“Of course. Let me know what happens in there, will you?” 
She nodded, squeezing your clothed shoulder before turning on her heel and heading down the corridor. 
“So you’re like me?” Rogue asked, trying to make conversation now that she knew you had something in common. 
“A bit, yeah,” you cocked your head in one direction, getting them to follow after you. “My body is made up of a few types of radioactive energy. One is regular matter, the other is anti-matter, but the third is something completely unknown to the human or mutant race.”
“How does it work?” She followed you up the stairs, and Logan did, too. He was listening, but didn’t give off the vibe that he was interested. 
“Well, the instant I touch anyone, they die. The professor was the one who finally helped me learn to control the energy, though. Now I can use it to shield myself and others from dangerous attacks.”
“Attacks… you mean like guns and stuff? Are you bulletproof?!” 
You smiled at her endless curiosity, boundless in asking questions that you barely even knew the answers to. 
“Pretty much, yeah. Bulletproof, fireproof, everything really.”
“Whoa…” she trailed, and luckily, to stop the flow of questions, you turned down the hall and opened a door to an empty room. 
“This one’s for you,” you smiled at her and let her walk through the doorway, almost immediately becoming more settled now that she had a place to stay. “Let me know if you need anything, I’m at the end of the hall.”
“Thank you.”
A smile, and a small dip of your head as you closed the door allowed her to relax. 
And now there was this Logan character.
“Bulletproof, huh?” he didn’t seem skeptical, just unimpressed. 
“And fireproof,” you added with a small smile, turning and going down the hall to find the next open room. It was the one besides yours, and yes, you absolutely did that on purpose. “Forgive me for being forward… but I think I know you.”
“You know me? Doubtful.”
“No, I definitely know you,” you opened the door for him, but didn’t intend on leaving yet. You didn’t say anything in front of the girl, but the moments you turned around downstairs, you recognized him from somewhere. The downside of living for over two hundred years is that maybe you didn’t always remember people years down the line. “The question is, how did I meet you?” 
“Look, doll… I only have the last fifteen years of my memory, and all I really know is that I’m not human, and I can’t die either,” he paused, taking a step closer, but keeping a safe enough distance as to not make contact with the previously mentioned radioactive skin. “But even if I remembered before that, you’re too young to have met me.”
“Young?” you raised your eyebrows, not to mock or belittle him, but just shocked he would make such an assumption, especially knowing the school that he’s at right now. 
“Yeah, young. What are you, nineteen?” 
“Two hundred and thirty three this year,” you answered with a dull expression of normalcy. 
For a minute, he didn’t know if you were being serious, but upon searching your face for more indications, he found nothing that told him otherwise. 
“Really…” he reacted skeptical this time. “Got an ID?”
The joke was mildly entertaining, but if what he said was true, he wouldn't be able to tell you when or how you met. It was a dead end, and there were much more pressing matters downstairs.
“Let me know if you need anything. That's my door,” you pointed to the one beside his, and he nodded with a smirk. You absolutely did that on purpose. 
“Will do.” 
He didn’t bother you the rest of the evening, but you kind of wish he had… 
-
Your cell was cold and binding, your claustrophobic tendencies getting worse with every day you spent here. Your body was broken, your legs crumbling beneath you whenever you would try to stand. 
There was nothing you could do to help the pain, your energy was depleted from everything they took out of you, and you couldn’t even summon the strength to shield them if they come again. You know you'll die. The next time they come, opening your cage and dragging you through the halls in their self righteous futuristic looking uniforms. They always scoffed at your mistreatment. Mutants were the scum of the earth, and by torturing you and your kind, they thought they were doing mankind a favor. 
The sirens that suddenly blared in your ears brought about a sense of danger that hadn’t ever settled in the cell block before. Something that was foreign and unknown. This had never happened before. It was always silent as mutants were taken and used for their abilities, experiments falling over most of them. 
You thought that maybe the government had finally gotten ahold of Striker and his plans, ready to shut down the program and finish the job. Humans these days hated anything that was different from them, most of all the mutant race. 
You braced yourself, curling into the corner of the cage and closing your eyes. It would come any minute now. The blow of death while you were unable to shield yourself. 
You heard the cage squeak on its hinges, but there was no blow of death, only kind words from someone you've never met. 
“C'mon, get up… we're getting you out,” he said, pulling you from your feared bracing and making your eyes shoot open. Your arms and legs were bare in the clothes they gave you, meaning your skin was open to be touched. 
He grabbed at your arm, and you couldn’t even stop him… but he didn't fall, he continued to help you up, shouldering you out of the cell and onto your own two feet. By now the adrenaline kicked in, and you were able to walk through the pain, knowing this was your only shot to be free. 
“Who are you?” You asked in wonder. You met his eyes, and they were the most beautiful you think you've seen. Hazel, with gold in the middle. 
“Just someone that wants to help,” he said, letting you fend on your own now that he could feel your legs carrying you on their own. He went to help more, and you had to try and shake him from your mind just for the moment. There would come a time when you could ask questions, but now was for you to run. 
You caught up with one of the groups heading for the exit, and came across a few guards. You wondered if you even had your power anymore. That man, he touched you and survived. That's never happened before. Your skin is death, and no one escapes the reaper… 
You touched one of the guards with your open flesh and he instantly died upon contact. And that could only mean one thing. The mutant who was saving everyone was immune to your powers, and nobody else was. 
You have to find this man, but going back would almost mean certain doom for you, and you can't bring yourself to die yet. There's more life left to live. 
Once you escape the bunker, coming outside to a clearing, there waits a man in a wheelchair, rolling down from a hovering jet… and you know that jet. It belongs to-
“Charles?” You murmur, and within an instant, he was back in your head for the first time in over ten years. “Is it really you?”
“It's really me. I must look different than last time we met,” he smirked, handing you a pair of gloves and letting you lean on his chair to walk up the ramp. The others followed, and then the jet took off, no time to waste. “But you haven't changed at all.”
You collapsed into the seat closest to you, and then -
You sprung up from your pillows. 
This nightmare wasn't even a nightmare. It was still a memory, but not a bad one. It was something you tried to forget, but of course there was a single detail that could not be wiped from your memory if you tried. 
Logan.
He's the man that saved your life all those years ago. And more than that, he's the only person in the world you've met for over two hundred years that can touch you. 
It’s late, and when you turn to find that your clock says three in the morning, you hesitate… but things like this never happen, so your ability to wait until the sun at least rises is completely destroyed. You throw the sheets and comforter off your bed, and forget modesty in your haste. Wearing only the tiniest shorts from your dresser and the only clean shirt on hand, you made a quick trek from your room to the one next door. 
Knocking was out of the question, obviously. He’d be asleep, right?
When you barged in, he seemed to be having the same conundrum as you only a few minutes ago. His brows were furrowed, his mouth twisted in a look of something painful. Perhaps the very reason you were awoken from your slumber was to assist him with his… or maybe you were delusional and needed to go back to your room. 
“Logan?” you approached gently, sitting on the edge of the bed and reaching out for him. You wanted to calm him down if you could, he looked so scared in whatever dream he was having. 
He startled awake with lightning speed, his reactive senses making him sit straight up in bed, claws out and ready to attack. You yelped and fell off the bed, leaving a loud thunk on the ground. The amount of terror rushing through you suddenly left for the oddest reason. 
Looking down, your arm had been cut in three parallel lines. Not deep enough to severely wound you, but enough that you could feel the sting, and see the blood rising to the surface of the skin. You didn’t think you could bleed.
“Alice?” He calmed down, immediately worried over what he’d done. “I’m so sorry, I didn’t-”
“It’s okay,” you looked up at him, a look of utter joy on your face and he had no idea why. His confusion soared even more when instead of running from him you pulled yourself back up onto his bed, leaning closer. 
“Are you… alright? What’s going on?” 
“I remembered you. Where I met you,” you explained, getting even closer and making him nervous, considering your specific mutation he’s heard so much about. You completely forgot about your arm, leaving it for later.
“Where?” 
He was eager to remember anything about his past before the blank space. He wanted badly to know where he comes from, and if you had anything to do with how he got here. He knows it’s probably a slim chance, since you had to try hard to remember him upon his arrival.
You closed the gap and reached your hand out to his arm, and he flinched away. “Are you crazy? You could kill me.”
“No, I can’t,” you told him, watching his eyes as you finally reached again and touched his skin. He didn’t drop dead, or have any other side effects for that matter, and you breathed out in relief, a smile spreading across your face.
He was again confused, and more so shocked. His features couldn’t comprehend how this was happening if what everyone said was true. You’d killed people even accidently with the brush of an elbow, so how is he still living and breathing, your hand on his forearm?
“How did you know?” He wondered, his full focus now on what you could tell him. 
“Does the name William Striker ring a bell?” You squinted, knowing it was a longshot, but hoping he might know, anyway. 
“It sounds familiar, but I don’t recall a face or a history to go with it.”
“He gave you these,” you reached for his other hand, claws still drawn from his nightmare. “And he gave me these…”
You gestured to the scars on your legs and raised your shirt slightly so he could see the ones on your torso. All healed over by now but still reasonably protruding if you stare at them too long.
“He’d held so many mutants captive, but you set us free,” you watched as his claws retracted back into his skin, and then you took his unclenched hand. “You saved my life.”
“I don’t think that was me,” he shook his head. He doesn’t remember who he was, but he knows who he is now, and it couldn’t be that far from his past self… yet you spoke of him as though he were some caped figure with an agenda for fighting bad guys. “I don’t do things like that.”
“Logan,” you huffed, unwilling to let him negate himself, especially when you’ve waited all these years to talk to him again, to give him the gratitude you felt he deserved. “I have been alive for over two hundred years. During that time I have been all over the world, met as many mutants as there are stars in the sky… and not one could touch me, until you. I know it was you who saved me.”
“I’m no hero, kid…” he shook his head, his eyes falling to the cuts on your arm, the blood getting thicker and threatening to run down the expanse of your arm and onto your shirt. 
“You were to me,” you smiled sweetly. “You saved my life that day… and so many other mutants. Scott being one of them, he just doesn’t remember.”
“I saved Scott?” he cringed, and you laughed, having gotten notes of their instant rivalry in the energy around the mansion. 
“Yes, you did… and I never got to thank you for it, so… thank you.”
He nodded, still unsure of this past exchange and how much he had to do with it. You clearly remembered being helped by him. Enough so that you were willing to bet his life on whether or not he could touch you. He feels bad, now, seeing the red begin to run down your arm, he certainly doesn’t feel like a hero, and his actions don’t show him being one, either… but he can do something about that.
“Can I help you with that?” He pointed to the bloody open wound, which had been ignored until now. 
“I’ll take care of it, it’s not too bad.”
“No, I wanna do it… I’m the one that put it there,” he sighed when he stood up from bed, going into the hall and finding the bathroom. He’d seen a first aid kit in there somewhere. 
When he comes back he looks clueless on how to even open the box. 
“It has a child lock on it, lemme see,” you reached, and he batted your hands away softly, figuring it out himself. 
“I’m not a child,” he retorted dryly, reaching into the box and finding the proper supplies. 
He did decently, you’d have to say. Started with the cleansing wipes, then moved on to the antibacterial treatment and gauze wraps. Finished it off with a good layer of medical tape, securing it with a soft movement of his hands. They looked rough, but had been nothing but gentle. 
“You do this a lot?” You asked, wondering if perhaps it might trigger a memory. 
“Not to myself, and not to anyone else I can remember.”
“Well you did a good job.”
He nodded in thanks, and you went to stand up. Going back to your room seemed like the thing to do, and you wanted to let him get back to sleep.
“You don’t have to go, if you don’t want to.” His words halted you in your step, making you sit back on the bed where you’d been since arriving, minus the brief trip to the floor. “I usually don’t sleep after…”
“Nightmares?” Your soft question had him giving a small dip of his head, slightly embarrassed. “I get 'em, too. Not usually so much as lately, but I get 'em.”
And when he reached for your hand, giving it a gentle squeeze, you had no longing to go back to bed. You’d stay up the rest of the night with this man to ensure he didn’t let go of you. It was here that you decided he could touch you for a reason, and you weren’t going to let it go to waste. 
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hellodarling1357 · 11 months ago
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Flames and Embers - Cassian x Vanserra!Reader (slow burn)
Summary: As Beron's sixth child, and only daughter, you had spent your whole life being overlooked and under utilitised. It wasn't until Amarantha's reign that your talents were truly recognised for what they were - too bad you were forced to make a bargain to keep them secret
A/N: Hi! This started out as a request I received the other week but then turned into something completely different and so far from the original request that it’s now getting it’s own multi-part story
This will eventually become a Cassian x Reader fic with a bit of angst, fluff, slow burn, enemies-to-lovers, and all the other fun tropes we know and love!
Enjoy 🥰
Word Count: 3k
Being the only daughter of the Autumn Court’s High Lord, alongside having seven brothers to compete with, you had been overlooked for most of your life which was just fine by you.
You had used the cover of being just a female in an archaic court to your advantage and took the time to observe and learn whatever you could. After being forced to witness how your brothers treated Lucien, you had always tried to have his back, which only went so far when any show of defiance from you was met with a beating. When Lucien had been forced out of your home, you had been heartbroken it had come to it but also happy that your youngest brother could finally become his own person and escape the cruelty that had followed him around his whole life.
Eris had always tried to keep an eye on you. He wouldn’t give up the façade in front of the others, however, he would find the time whenever he could to take you out riding into a long-forgotten part of the woods where he would teach you how to fight. The day you landed him on his ass had been one of his proudest moments, but that didn’t stop him from upping the pressure, forcing you to become stronger and more tactful in each step. Knowing that you could easily take on the rest of your brothers is what kept you from lashing out at their comments and actions towards you; with Lucien gone, you had become their next punching bag to which your father turned a blind eye.
Then Amarantha showed up and everything was turned on its head.
It was in no way a pleasant 50 years, however, you managed to stay out of harm’s way, no doubt at the hands of Eris' doing, and managed to avoid most of the horrors that occurred. However, once the human girl, Feyre, had arrived, you made yourself more present in the ongoings of Amarantha’s court, unable to leave the girl fully alone and fending for herself. Your need to help her was further spurred on upon realising that Lucien appeared to be her friend.
Lucien. The thought that your brother, the one who had managed to escape the past 50 years of torment, was now here as well had you feeling as though you had somehow let him down, even though it was completely out of your control. You hadn’t been present the first time Tamlin had sent Lucien to seek out Amarantha, the time when she had so viciously carved out his eye that even some of your brothers seemed somewhat affronted. However, you were there now. You had watched on in horror as Lucien defended Feyre, and then the 20 lashes Tamlin was forced to give after he helped with the first task…
Once Lucien had been allowed to retreat to his room, you had spent the next hour finding out as much as you could about Amarantha's plans for Feyre and your brother. With healing supplies in hand, you ventured into the sprawling court to where you had been told Lucien resided. With a quiet knock on his door, you entered the room and felt your heart break at the shaken, broken form of your brother. Despite the clear pain he was in, he had leapt off the bed at the sight of you and was quick to pull you into a tight embrace.
“Y/N,” He had exclaimed, carefully surveying you for any signs of injury. “Are you alright? What’s happened? Cauldron, I’ve missed you.” Then he was pulling you into another hug that left you in tears.
When was the last time you had seen him? It had been decades.
“I’m fine,” You brushed him off and made him sit so you could assess his injuries. “You look like you’ve seen better days.” He made a non-committal sound in response, taking in a deep breath at the sting of the healing balm you helped spread across his back. You pushed onto your heels, assessing the damage and your makeshift attempt of bandaging the wounds.
“What can I do?” You asked, feeling just as helpless as you did when growing up.
“Check in on Feyre. Please. I can’t…I can’t do anything, not now. And whatever game Tamlin is playing, he won’t go see her. Please. She’s all alone.” You hesitated for a moment but found yourself nodding.
“Of course. Of course I’ll go and see her.” You lowered your voice, not trusting that anywhere in this place was truly safe. “Does she truly love him?” If she did, then you all had a chance of getting out.
“She does.” Lucien answered, a small smile tugging on his lips.
“Anything else, let me know, alright? I’ll go and check on her.” You gave your brother a final hug and then slipped from the room, making your way towards the dungeons.
*****
“Feyre?” You whispered into the darkness, the guards were in the middle of their rotation, so you had few valuable minutes to slip in and out undetected, the limited healing supplies and food you managed to take with you were clutched tightly into the folds of your dress.
An incoherent groan sounded from further down the dark, cage-lined corridor. You hurried over, halting in your steps when you saw her sitting against the wall still covered in blood and mud, a pained expression on her weary face.
“Feyre? I’m Y/N. I’m Lucien’s sister, he asked me to check on you, see how you were holding up.” You tried to stay optimistic but the wound on her arms was nothing that you could fix. Maybe before Amarantha stifled everyone’s magic you would stand a chance, but not now when all you could offer were some clean rags, a bit of water and a scrap of bread.
You knelt on the floor in front of her cell, unable to get in without your magic or access to the key.
“I know it hurts, but are you able to move a bit closer, I can’t help you from here.” You cringed as you watched Feyre grit her teeth, slowly moving across the floor, pain evident on her face.
“Y/N?” She asked in a strained voice, you nodded with a small smile, passing her the bread which she quickly bit into. “Lucien told me about you. Said that you were here.”
“I don’t have long, here, give me your arm I’ll do my best to clean it but there’s not much else I can do. At least not right now.” You wiped away the blood and muck that lingered from the first task, trying not to grimace as you took in the severity of the wound. The sound of movement spurred you on, quickly ushering her to drink the water and finish the bread so you could leave before getting caught.
“I’ll try to get back here soon, okay?” Feyre was already making her way back towards the rear wall where she slumped against it. You were almost out when a small voice called out.
“Y/N? Thank you.”
*****
Managing to obtain some of the healing balm that you had used on Lucien's injuries, you kept to the shadows as you made your way back down to the dungeons.
You had been keeping an ear out for what Amarantha’s plans were for the girl; if she planned on healing her before the next task or leaving her in the dark cell to fend for herself. Either way, you couldn’t be too obvious in your efforts to help, lest you get caught and wind up dead for the blatant disregard of Amarantha's orders.
The sound of voices had you slowing in your steps as you overhead the back end of a conversation. Someone was in Feyre’s cell with her.
“Oh, that’s wonderfully gruesome.” You recognised that voice, but surely it wasn’t…
Feyre swore at the male, earning her a chuckle as he taunted, “Such words from a lady.”
You edged closer to the cell, unsure what your next move would be from here but still unwilling to leave her to fend for herself against Rhysand.
“Get out,” Feyre’s voice was frail as she tried to show her strength against the High Lord.
“Don’t you want me to heal your arm? Or is that what Y/N Vanserra is here to do? I know you’re there, Y/N.” His voice called out to you now.
Shit.
You approached the cell; it was too late to turn back. Your best chance was to play along with his games, there was not point in running, not when he knew you were there and that it clearly wasn’t your first visit.
“Hmm, wiping away the grime was a valiant effort, and what’s this you have?” The healing balm disappeared from your grasp, reappearing moments later in Rhysand’s hand. “Well, that’s not going to do much against the infection and broken bones.”
Rhysand turned back to face Feyre, “But how about a trade? I’ll heal your arm in exchange for you. Two weeks every month, two weeks of my choosing, you’ll live with me at the Night Court. Starting after this messy three-trials business.” You desperately shook your head, trying to tell her he couldn’t be trusted.
“No.”
“No? Really?”
“Get out.”
“You’d turn down my offer – and for what? A fool’s chance that this healing balm will work? Or are you holding out for your friend – for Lucien, correct? After all, he healed you before, didn’t he? Then convinced his dear sister Y/N to come down to tend to you after the first trial.”
Now Rhysand turned to face you, giving you a look that had you thinking he could see your every thought, which, you remembered with dread, he probably could. You had never been taught how exactly mental shields worked but you did your best to block him out. It clearly wasn’t enough judging from the chuckle and assessing look he gave you before facing Feyre again.
“The way I see things Feyre, you have two options. The first, and the smartest, would be to accept my offer.” Your eyes widened in anticipation as Feyre spat at his feet, but Rhysand continued pacing the length of the cell.
“The second option – and the one only a fool would take – would be for you to refuse my offer and place your life, and thus Tamlin’s, in the hands of chance.”
Rhysand had stopped pacing, staring hard at Feyre who had turned white as a sheet and looked as thought she may pass out at any moment.
“Let’s say I walk out of here. Perhaps this healing balm will work,” He tossed it back to you, desperate in your attempt to grab it before it could shatter to the floor. “Perhaps Lucien will come to your aid and offer his magic. Or perhaps he won’t come at all. Between you and me, he’s been keeping a low profile after his rather embarrassing outburst at your trial. Amarantha’s not exactly pleased with him. Tamlin even broke his delightful brooding to beg for him to be spared – such a noble warrior, your High Lord. She listened, of course – but only after she made Tamlin bestow Lucien’s punishment. Twenty lashes.”
Feyre started shaking, eyes darting up to you in confirmation and what looked like betrayal. You hadn’t told her about the lashes.
“Although, from what I heard, the punishment wasn’t overly effective seeing that the wounds somehow healed over within a few hours without the assistance of magic. You would almost think that something like that healing balm you've got there, Y/N, was used despite Amarantha’s order that there was to be no assistance provided.” Rhysand tutted as he turned to you with a smile that made your stomach coil but said no more on the matter.
“So, Feyre, it’s really a question of how much you’re willing to risk it. I don’t need to invade your thoughts to know that you’re wondering if that fever of yours is the first sign of infection. I already know that you’ve slowly been realising that you’re dying.” There was a beat of silence in which Feyre stared back at him with such hatred, you felt your pulse quicken at the thought that it may be too late to help.
“Well?”
“Go. To. Hell.”
Before you could react, Rhysand lashed out and twisted Feyre’s arm, her scream echoing throughout the cell as she thrashed against him. But he kept his grip, twisting the bone a final time before releasing her arm as she half sobbed and panted through the pain.
“This is the last time I’ll extend my assistance. Once I leave this cell, my offer is dead.” Feyre spat at him again but remained silent.
With a disappointed sigh, Rhysand began to ripple with darkness. You weren’t sure what to think; you couldn’t trust him but if Feyre really was dying and this was her only chance of survival…
“Wait.”
The darkness around the High Lord vanished, solidly appearing again with a grin as he faced Feyre.
“Yes?”
“Just two weeks?”
“Just two weeks. Two teensy, tiny weeks with me every month is all I ask.” He was kneeling in front of her now as he purred out his terms. As if suddenly aware of how much time you had already spent down here, your senses picked up, listening closely for any sounds of the returning guards, but there was nothing.
A surge of magic had you turning to face the cell just as Rhysand grabbed Feyre’s arm. She let out a scream before fainting, head falling against the wall.
“What did you do?” You yelled, banging on the bars of the cell in a futile attempt to get in.
“Exactly what we bargained for. Don’t worry, I haven’t forgotten about you, Vanserra.” Before you could process his words, Feyre was suddenly sitting up, with the blood and mud completely gone you could do nothing but watch as some colour finally returned to her cheeks. Letting out a sign you offered her a small smile, at least he had kept his word and healed her arm. The remainder of the bargain was something to think about later when you all got out of this mess. If you all got out of this mess.
“What have you done to me?” Only then did you notice the black swirls that covered her skin and the large eye tattooed in the centre of her palm.
“It’s custom in my court for bargains to be permanently marked upon flesh.”
“Make it go away.”
“You humans truly are grateful creatures, aren’t you?” Rhysand stood back up, darkness wafting around him again. “I think I’ll wait to tell Tamlin about our little bargain. I do wonder if he will be as appreciative as you are. Rest up, Feyre.” And then he was gone in a shadow of night.
“Feyre? Are you alright?” You knelt on the floor outside the cage, surveying her for any signs of potential harm caused by Rhysand, but she just looked tired, troubled.
“I’m fine. My arm is fine. I just feel stupid, he didn’t do that to help me, he did it to hurt Tamlin.”
You let out a sigh, “We’ll deal with that later, alright? At least you’re not about to die, so we will take that as a win.” Standing back up you surveyed her again; she was so young and had already faced so much more than most of the fae here. “I’ve been here too long, I need to go before the guards return. But, Feyre, I’ll be back. I promise.”
*****
You slipped out of the dungeons and hurried down the corridor, quickly ducking behind a corner at the sound of the guards returning.
“Hello, Y/N.”
You jumped at his voice, heart hammering in your chest as you turned to face Rhysand where he casually leant against the wall, picking at his jacket as he surveyed you with mild interest.
“I was starting to wonder about what you had been getting up to after all these years here. We never see you at any of our Lady’s…festivities.”
“I must have missed the invite.” You tried to step around him. You had gone this long without piquing the interest of any of Amarantha’s cronies, managing to stay relatively to yourself, and you’d be damned if you were forced to show your face now.
“Interesting,” His violet eyes continued to assess you. “You know, it doesn’t surprise me really. I remember back when we were just children, playing court whilst forced to join in on the formalities. You always managed to remain in the shadows, yet even back then, you somehow knew everything and got away with so much.”
You stared back, eyes narrowing as you waited for him to continue. He clearly had some angle he was getting at.
“Yes. Those particular skills may be useful to me one day. And while I’m in such a giving mood, how about a bargain of our own? You be my eyes and ears,” You scoffed, already shaking your head as you attempted to walk away again. “And in return, I’ll keep your role in all of this quiet. You wouldn’t want Amarantha to know that it was you who helped Lucien, and now Feyre, would you? After all, I’m sure she would be pleased to be reminded of your presence in her court.”
Glaring at him, you knew he had you cornered. The satisfied smirk that played on his face told you that he knew as well.
With a reluctant sigh you stretched out your hand which he firmly grasped.
“Fine.”
“Lovely.”
You refused to break eye contact with the High Lord as you felt his magic encase your upper arm and shoulder, no doubt leaving a similarly intricate pattern to the one now splayed across Feyre’s arm.
You looked down to see if there was any visible evidence of the bargain, but it was completely covered by your dress. Good. At least that would stop any questions from being asked.
“I’ll be seeing you around, Y/N.” And then he was gone in another shadow of darkness.
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embrosegraves · 11 months ago
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𝕎𝕙𝕖𝕟 𝕎𝕒𝕤 𝕋𝕙𝕚𝕤?
(request) Sebastian Vettel x Reader  The reader hasn’t seen Seb for A While™ and he notices something different “I know every inch of your body and I know for a fact that scar wasn’t there before.
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It was at the beginning of the triple header when it happened. Sebastian had only just gotten to his hotel room when he sent you a text that had distracted you from the knife you were using to make dinner. It only took a few seconds of distraction for the knife to slip from its place in your hand and fall towards the floor, the tip of the blade grazing your uncovered thigh none too gently. 
It wasn’t a horrible cut, but there was quite a bit of blood welling up. The length of the cut also wasn’t too bad, though there would definitely be a scar when it healed. Later when you looked back at the incident, you would find amusement at the fact that the pain had not gained your attention until after you heard the knife clatter on the tiles of your kitchen. 
Cursing under your breath, you picked up the knife and placed it in the sink before making your way to grab what you needed from the first aid kit. You cleaned the cut and put a bandaid over the top just to stop the bleeding for now. 
Finishing up your dinner, you sat down answering Sebastian's text and completely forgot about the cut. 
You were sitting on the couch, texting your family’s group chat when you heard the front door unlock and open. You smiled to yourself as you knew that the only other person who had keys was Sebastian, which meant that he was finally home from the triple header. 
“Liebe, I’m home!” 
“In the living room My Love!” 
You waited eagerly for Sebastian to walk into the room. You had missed him incredibly these last three weeks. It felt like so much time had passed and you just could help the excitement at seeing your partner after so long. 
Sebastian finally made his way to you, picking up your legs and laying them across his lap once he sat down on the couch. Your favourite thing about Sebastian, without fail, was that he did things for you without any sort of prompting. As soon as your legs had settled over his lap he immediately started massaging your feet. 
You spent a good few hours just talking to each other, catching up on whatever you had missed from your almost daily facetime calls. You praised him for racing well and, ever the humble man, he blushed and brushed it off as ‘just doing his job’. As you talked with each other, Sebastian’s hands went higher and higher up your legs, massaging the sore spots and gently caressing your skin. 
It was when he finally got to your thighs as you were rambling about your co-worker’s latest gossip, that he found himself freezing. You felt him stop moving immediately, which confused you greatly. 
“Darling? Are you alright?” you asked. 
“Schatz, I know every inch of your body and I know for a fact that scar wasn’t there before.” This confused you more. Scar? What scar did you- oh. Right, that scar. 
“Oh that, yeah that was a complete accident. I didn’t even mean for that to happen, it just sort of- did. It’s not that bad honestly, just needed to clean it, disinfect it and then cover it with a band-aid. It didn’t even hurt when it happened, which I think is kinda funny.” Part of you knew that you should’ve told Sebastian about it when it happened, but you had genuinely forgot that you had accidentally cut yourself, so now you were trying your best to downplay it so he didn’t worry. There was no point in trying, Sebastian would worry regardless. 
“What happened? When did it happen and why wasn’t I told?” Sebastian ‘The Worrywart’ Vettel ladies and gentlemen. 
“Uhh I’m pretty sure it was the first night you left. I was making dinner and you texted me saying that you got to the hotel. I got distracted and the knife slipped but like I said it wasn’t bad. It’s basically all healed up now so you don’t have to worry.” You didn’t know why you kept trying to tell him not to worry as if he would listen. He wouldn’t. 
“I don’t care if it’s healed or not, I’m going to look after you so no more cuts mark your pretty skin.” 
Another thing you loved about Sebastian: he looked after you better than anyone.
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Give this bitch a medal, they got a fucking fic out! 1/3 requests complete, now I'm gonna move to the next one
as always, I hope you enjoyed. likes, replies and reblogs are always appreciated <3
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hestiaswifey · 4 months ago
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Protective
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In the shadow of Mount Olympus, the sun dipped behind the jagged peaks, casting a warm golden light over the battlefield.
The air was thick with tension; the clash of swords rang like thunder, and the cries of warriors echoed as they fought for their lives against the Infernal armies.
Ares, the God of War, stood stationed at the forefront, his armor gleaming in the fading light, eyes aflame with determination.
Beside him fought you, a mortal warrior who had captured his attention and stirred emotions he rarely displayed.
With long hair pulled back and the heart of a lion, you wielded your sword with unmatched skill and bravery, determined to protect the land you called home.
Your laughter, even amid the chaos, reached Ares like a soothing balm, reminding him of why he joined the fray that day.
"You ready?" he called to you over the clamor of battle, his voice steady but with an undertone of concern.
You nodded, a fierce grin on your face. "Always."
But as the battle raged on, the tides began to turn. A wave of infernal creatures surged forward, larger and more grotesque than any your forces had faced before. You fought alongside Ares, avoiding danger with agility that would make even the most skilled gods envious. Still, the relentless onslaught was daunting, and now and then, Ares found himself forced to shift his focus, granting you fleeting glances.
“Stay close!” he warned, his stern demeanor commanding even in the heat of battle.
You laughed off his concerns. “I can fend for myself, Ares! You shouldn’t worry—”
But before you could finish, a massive beast lunged from the shadows, teeth bared and claws ready to tear you apart. Ares reacted in an instant, interposing himself between you and the creature, his sword cleaving the air with divine precision. The beast staggered back, but not before it landed a swift blow on your side, knocking you to the ground.
“Ares!” you gasped, clutching your side, blood seeping through your fingers. The pain radiated through your body like wildfire, your vision blurring as shock set in.
His heart raced at the sight of you falling, his stoic mask shattered. “NO!” Ares roared, a primal fear erupting from deep within him. In one fluid motion, he dispatched the beast with a brutal strike before kneeling by your side, cradling your head in his arms.
“Stay with me, please,” he whispered urgently, his usual calm replaced by desperation. “You’re going to be alright.”
You tried to reassure him with a smile, but the dizziness threatened to pull you under. “I’m…. I’m fine, Ares. Just a scratch…”
“A scratch?” He seethed, his trademark calm shattered. “This is not a scratch!” His fingers brushed delicately over the wound, then he summoned the divine energy within him, his aura pulsating with a fierce light.
You felt warmth radiate from his hands as he worked to mend your injury. “Don’t move!” he commanded, and you obeyed, despite the pain. Realizing that this wasn’t just about a wound anymore—it was about Ares’ torment over your state—it dawned on you just how intensely he cared.
As the divine energy pulsed through you, the world around faded, leaving only the two of you. “You mean everything to me,” he confessed softly, his voice a rare blend of vulnerability and strength. “I can’t lose you. Not like this.”
And for the first time, Ares allowed himself to reveal the depth of his feelings, the fierce protectiveness consuming him like a flame. With every pulse of energy, you could feel the wound knitting together, the pain ebbing away. Yet that heartache etched in his expression remained.
With a final burst of light, your injury healed, and you took a deep breath, feeling whole once more. “See? I told you I’m fine,” you teased weakly, though you could still see the tension in Ares’ muscles.
“A true warrior fights without fear,” he said, his tone returning to its usual sternness, but his eyes softened. “And a true warrior understands the cost of battle. I won’t allow you to be reckless. I refuse.”
His words struck a chord in you. You knew Ares was often the embodiment of both rage and honor, but this moment crystallized the myriad shades of his character—his fierce protectiveness, his gentle heart, and the sacred bond forming between a god and a mortal.
“Then let’s fight together,” you proposed, lifting your sword high once more. “As one.”
Ares met your gaze, and in that moment, the battlefield around you vanished, leaving only the bond you shared. “Together,” he agreed, his resolve hardening like steel, and with that, the two of you surged into battle side by side, hearts aligned and spirits unbreakable, prepared to face whatever came next.
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blues824 · 2 years ago
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Hashira with a s/o that worships them with love, but it's sadly not returned to the reader! And the reader gets Hanahaki Disease, dying or falling out of love with hashira and fell for someone else, or even having their feelings finally returned!
Major angst, Hashira falling out of love with fellow Hashira Reader. Reader is gender-neutral, and a family member of Kagaya Ubuyashiki. 
First time writing for Hanahaki AU!
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Gyomei Himejima
With his dedication to honoring and worshiping the gods, he simply had no time for you. Your love was the most expendable option to him. He knew that he would be dishonoring his master by doing this, but surely he would understand. So, he started becoming disinterested.
Then, one day, you were bedridden with fever and a cough. Your uncle had put you on house-arrest, making sure that you weren’t hurt. However, through your 5th coughing fit, bloodied petals had fallen from your throat and out of your mouth.
Kagaya looked at the napkin, and he realized that it might be the curse that was placed upon his family. You were his late sibling’s child and you still had the family name, so the curse was acting upon you. He had told one of his daughters to go get Gyomei, and he realized what had happened.
Upon hearing your wheezing, he felt horrible. He was the reason you were dying, and he couldn’t do anything about it. He had fallen out of love with you. All he could do was pray that you fall in love with someone else. 
But, your condition was continuously getting worse. Out of moral obligation, he sticks by your side. He feels like the shittiest piece of shit in all of Japan. So, as you lay there dying, he prays and prays for your healing. However, his feelings about you remained as they are, and you eventually passed away.
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Mitsuri Kanroji
As loving as she usually was, she only had eyes for Obanai. Hence, you were kind of left in the dust with your own feelings. She didn’t mean to, as she didn’t know you loved her in that way. Her obliviousness led to your demise… how fitting.
Mitsuri didn’t understand what was going on when she heard that you were coughing up petals, she had never heard of Hanahaki disease. She just thought that it might be the master’s family’s curse carrying out its job, and that made her sad.
Since you were a dear friend to her, she often accompanied Shinobu at your bedside. After all, she wants all of her friends to not be lonely when they’re dying, as she believes that is the saddest way to die. She tries her best to keep you comfortable, an early form of palliative care.
She didn’t think the bloodied flower petals were disgusting. It wasn’t like you could control it, after all. If only the Love Hashira knew that it was her fault. She didn’t love you back, and that’s why you were lying in bed and throwing up flowers.
Eventually, it got to a point where you were too weak, and you were constantly choking on the flowers that you were coughing up. She understood that you were going to die, so she stayed by you at every single moment she could. The tears she shed as you were fading away fell onto your hand because she was holding it so you wouldn’t feel alone as you passed on.
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Giyu Tomioka
He believed that if he learned not to get attached to anyone, he wouldn’t get hurt anymore. Thus, he shut off all of his emotions, including love. No surgery needed for this one, folks. You were fine with not having your feelings returned, but you were over-exerting yourself by always making sure that Giyu was alright.
When you had contracted the disease, the Water Hashira was by your bedside within moments of his master telling him. Even though he turned off his emotions, he still did care about you. He noticed all your efforts and appreciated them.
But, he saw the bloodied petals and knew immediately what it was. There were tales and legends of this disease, and he would kill the person who did this to you. However, you refused to give up any information, meaning you still held back your feelings from him. 
You were rapidly coughing up more and more petals while getting weaker and weaker. You could barely lift your finger without Giyu’s help. Mans had to refrain himself from snapping at Shinobu for touching you or causing you any sort of discomfort.
Unfortunately, you never got a kiss or even a confession, so your state deteriorated by a lot at a rapid pace until you were on your last breaths. Once your eyes started closing, Tomioka knew that it was over. What he didn’t expect was for his crying to end up in him coughing. He held his hand to his mouth, and saw that a petal had fallen.
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Tengen Uzui
His family tradition strictly called for three spouses, and those positions have already been taken. He makes sure to spend time with all three of his wives while also balancing training time, so there was little room to hang out with his friends, including you.
Once Ubuyashiki had learned about the Hanahaki disease you had unfortunately contracted from your unrequited love, he had informed the other Hashira that you were out for the count. Tengen was worried, but he thought that you would be alright eventually.
He visited once, and you were coughing up flowers left and right. That wasn’t normal at all. Maybe you wouldn’t be okay. From that point on, he and his wives visited you almost everyday. Whenever he was on a mission, Hinatsuru, Makio, and Suma were there to help Shinobu.
But, since your feelings for the Sound Hashira weren’t reciprocated, you just got worse and worse. Eventually, you couldn’t even sit up. It was evident that it would take a full-blown miracle for you to recover, but that was a long shot.
So, the four of them spent as much time as they could with you. This wasn’t a very flamboyant situation that you have found yourself in, huh? No matter, since he would make sure that you would be honored until the end of time.
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Sanemi Shinazugawa
The last time he loved somebody, they were taken away from him. So, he saw no point in pursuing love again. It just causes distraction and can make you act irrationally whenever your loved one is in danger. However, that greatly affected you, since you loved Sanemi.
Then, one day, you were training with him when it suddenly got very difficult to maintain your breathing technique. The Wind Hashira thought you were being weak and dramatic until he saw you coughing up literal flower petals with splatters of blood here and there.
Out of pure worry, he picked you up into his arms and carried you to your uncle, who had you lay in bed for days on end. Sanemi would visit you as much as he could, feeling like shit for thinking you were fine and just faking it at the beginning.
As a week passes, your breaths become raspy. You were on the brink of death, and it was easy to see. Shinazugawa doesn’t know much about being soft and sappy and crap like that, but what he does know is that he does care about you. He doesn’t like it when you are coughing up and choking on petals.
But, as we all know, this fic does not have any happy endings. Sanemi is scared, but he doesn’t know what he has to do, and you don’t tell him. Being a Hashira with the Ubuyashiki name meant that the probability of you living past 30 was exceedingly low. So, either way you would have died soon. That meant there was no point in confessions. But, your fellow Hashira cried seeing life fade from your eyes.
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Shinobu Kocho
She has no time; trying to keep her anger within her as she is a Hashira as well as a doctor was a full-time job already. However, she thought you were such a great friend. You understood her struggle, and you would often accompany her on her missions.
During one of these missions, you had doubled over in pain and coughs. The Insect Hashira rushed to your side to pat your back to get the phlegm out, but all that came out were bloody petals. She let out an audible gasp, but she sent her crow to Kagaya to tell him what had happened.
Once you both returned, you were immediately taken in by your uncle and put to bed for days. Shinobu became your doctor, and she did so much research about the topic. She didn’t want to pry into your personal life, so she thought that the surgery to get it removed might be a good alternative.
However, you knew the cost of getting the surgery. Not only was it a risky procedure, but you would lose your ability to feel emotions. So, you refused. She was getting frustrated to the point of yelling at you for not going with the surgery, but you knew that she just didn’t want to lose you.
So, she resigned to your fate. You were going to die, and there was nothing she could do about it (or so you told her). She started a palliative care plan for you, trying to make you comfortable during your last moments. But, she was out of the room getting you some tea when you drew your final breath.
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Kyojuro Rengoku
He was just completely oblivious to your love. He saw you as a comrade and a co-worker, and nothing more. But, you told yourself that you were fine with where things were at. It wasn’t like it was causing you any physical ailments, after all.
Surprise! You contracted Hanahaki Disease, and you coughed up petals in the kitchen of the Ubuyashiki home. One of your cousins saw and escorted you to your room so that you could rest. Your uncle had informed the Hashiras that you were ill, and Kyojuro was worried.
The Flame Hashira ran to your bedside, where you were coughing up bloody flower petals. Mans went from worried to scared in 5 seconds, and it made him kind of nauseous.  This made you feel bad, thinking he was disgusted by you, and he had to assure you that it wasn’t you.
There was one time where you were in a coughing fit, and he was there to softly rub your back to offer you some sense of comfort, but it did little to help. He often tried to distract you from the painful sickness by telling you stories of his little brother, but again, it didn’t do much to help.
As much as he wished and prayed, nothing could be done if your feelings for him weren’t returned. Kyojuro didn’t want to lose his friend. But, you were getting weaker and weaker, and he was just glad to have been able to say his final goodbyes. He was the one who buried you.
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Obanai Iguro
He only had eyes for Mitsuri, so again you were left in the dust with your feelings. To be fair, you were his first friend when he joined the Hashiras, and you acted as a wingman whenever Obanai got worried about his chances with the Love Hashira.
Unfortunately for you, this obviously meant that he did not feel the same way about you. He loved you as a friend, and it broke your heart every single time he asked you for advice, but you sucked it up and dealt with it because that’s what friends do.
That was, until you were bedridden and coughing up petals. If you looked at the Snake Hashira, you wouldn’t know that he was worried. However, Kaburamaru was often laying upon your stomach trying to comfort you when it hurt the most (both physically and emotionally).
Obanai was by your bedside whenever he could be. You were his friend, as much as he was hesitant to admit it, and that meant he cared about you. He froze up whenever you started coughing and he grabbed the bucket to catch the petals.
Every time he had to wipe the blood from your lips, a nagging feeling of dread crawled through him. You were nearing your end. With your final breaths, you wished him well in him courting Mitsuri. What a fitting end, huh?
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Muichiro Tokito
He is oblivious to everything, so if you thought he would notice how you follow him everywhere and go cloud-gazing with him every time he asks, you are sorely mistaken. But you just chalked it up to it being a little quirk of his rather than a blatant disinterest in you.
Now, when you first started coughing up petals, you tried to hide it as a common cold. However, no common cold had you bedridden for days on end, and even Muichiro noticed that his companion was usually gone.
When his master had informed him that you had a deadly (but not contagious) disease, he immediately went to visit you in your room at the Ubuyashiki residence. He snapped back to reality in 2 seconds flat as he saw how serious this was.
The Mist Hashira spends most of his time by your side. He tries his hardest to not zone out as he wants to grasp every single word you utter. For all he knew, you could be dying the next day and he wanted to make sure that he could pass your stories on.
What he thought would eventually come true. It came to a point where you couldn’t even speak without coughing. In your last moments, Muichiro made sure that you were as comfortable as could be given the circumstances. The anger he already harbored increased as you let out your final breath.
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dreamingofmarauders · 7 months ago
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𝐈'𝐦 𝐒𝐨 𝐒𝐨𝐫𝐫𝐲
𝘾𝙝𝙖𝙥𝙩𝙚𝙧 𝙁𝙤𝙪𝙧
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James Potter x Slytherin!Fem!Reader!
Summary: In which you go back home only to find something dreadful waiting for you there already
Word Count: 1.4k
Warnings: Mentions of abuse, torture, also blood but nothing extreme, crying, death(s), knives, I think that's it?
Previous Part Series Masterlist Next Part
───※ ·❆· ※───
Over the next week and a half or so, James was there as you recovered. To the surprise of Lily and Molly, you were doing better than they expected, you were healing fast. Of course, only you knew how many times you had been tortured that landed you on the brink of death, and made it back, all in that hellhole you used to call home.
James was constantly asking if you were alright, if you needed something, and even though you had told him not to, James Potter was full of guilt.
Not only had he misjudged you and been rude to you for years, he was the reason you could have lost your life. He had to make it up to you, somehow. And he was glad you two decided to turn back the pages and write a new story, as he found your company very pleasant.
Sirius was completely blown away at the behavior of his best mate. Sure, you had saved James' life, but that didn't mean James had to follow you around like a lost puppy. Sirius had nearly stopped his cold behavior towards you but didn't try to warm up either. Remus merely quietly chuckled to himself at the sight of James and you. It was quite amusing to him, how James had hated your guts but was now wanting to spend quality time with you.
Going into the second week after the incident, you realized you were well enough and had to head home. James however declared he would escort you home, and would not take no for an answer.
"Potter, I'll be fine." You gritted through your teeth. James' constant stubbornness did manage to get on your nerves from time to time.
"No. I am going and that's final." He said, being stubborn as ever.
"Prongs, let L/n go if she says so." Sirius spoke in between, not happy about the newfound connection between the two of you.
James glared at him and gripped your forearm with a tight grip so you couldn't remove his hand, but not tight enough to hurt you.
You sighed in exasperation. "Fine." You said, giving in. You waved goodbye to Remus and Sirius, the latter not giving any response while Remus wished you farewell.
You and James walked out of headquarters before you closed your eyes, imagining your little cottage and the two of you apparated. You felt a wave of nausea hit you as your feet hit the ground and you bent over.
"Are you ok?" James asked with worry, trying to peer at your face.
You waved a hand, "Yeah, I'm fine." You answered, straightening up. However your mouth went dry and fear filled your whole being at the sight before you.
The door to your cottage was wide open, darkness pooling out. Above the building you called home, a colossal skull, composed of what looked like emerald stars, with a serpent protruding from its mouth like a tongue, etched against the black sky like a constellation.
The Dark Mark
"Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no, no!" You whimpered, running towards your cottage with James on your tail. You rushed in, halting near your kitchen when you saw a dark red liquid staining the walls. Your breaths began to come out short and quickly, you felt your legs weaken as you leaned against the wall for support.
"This can't be happening." You breathed out, afraid of what you would see if you walked a few more steps in. James came from behind and wrapped an arm around your shoulders, surveying the situation.
"Y/n," He spoke softly, "We should go. I'll let the Order know and they can come and-"
"No." You shook your head as you freed yourself from the young Potter's grip, walking further in.
“Y/n.” James tried but you paid him no heed.
In the middle of the room sat such a heart wrenching sight that crushed your heart and soul entirely.
Your beloved House-Elf, the one companion you had since childhood, the one who healed your wounds, the one who had always made sure you ate and slept properly. The same House-Elf who had stayed by your side no matter how many times you had freed him, the one true friend you had for the longest time.
Dead.
And what broke your heart even more was that he had sacrificed his life, as his body lay lifeless in front of a small bundle of fur, also drowning in a pool of blood. The same puppy you had rescued from the streets only two months prior.
Both of them,
Dead.
You sank to your knees, sobbing your heart out.
"I'm so sorry." You managed to say out in between the heavy sobs escaping your mouth. "I'm sorry I couldn't protect you two."
James stood rooted to his spot, reeling in with shock.
You shakily raised your hands out, grabbing the handles of the very metal that was pierced into your friends bodies and pulled them out. You tossed the knives to the side in anger, letting out a scream. At that, James finally snapped out of it and kneeled down beside you, bringing you into his chest.
"I'm so sorry." He said, rubbing your back as you cried.
You two stayed in that position for the next few moments. However a new sound caught both your attention.
Crack!
You pulled away from James' chest, wiping your face as you both exchanged a look.
Someone had just apparated onto the premises.
You both immediately jumped to your feet, wands raised in front of you.
You heard very tiny sounds of the pitter patter of feet and James moved forward, putting himself in front of you. You watched with bated breath over James' shoulder and when the newly arrived came into view, you shrieked, happiness and relief overwhelming you as you pushed past James. You fell onto your knees as you hugged your best friend.
"Willy! You're alive!" You spoke, feeling like your heart would burst.
A bark sounded and a very small bundle of white fur pounced onto you, excitedly licking your face. You picked him up, peppering his face with kisses.
"Hello to you too, my sunshine." You spoke as you hugged your dog, Fluffy, to your chest and pulled in Willy for a hug with your other arm. You were so overwhelmed with joy that tears began to cascade down your face again.
"Mistress, please do not cry. Willy did not mean to make Mistress cry."
You let out a watery laugh.
"How many times have I told you to call me Y/n, Willy?"
The House-Elf's cheeks colored pink. "Sorry, Mistress."
You wiped your tears away and then frowned, turning back to look at the scene in the kitchen.
"But if you're alive then, what's that?" You asked Willy, pointing over your shoulder.
"Those are fake, Mistress." Willy squeaked out. "About two weeks ago, I heard someone apparate and the wards shifted. Willy thought it must be you, Mistress, but it was not. You had told us to run if anyone evil came here, and we did but Willy had a good idea and with magic, Willy made the impostors so the evil people think it is us but Fluffy and Willy were gone and safe."
You let out a happy cry.
"You are an absolute genius, Willy, always have been! But how did you know we were here?"
Willy's ears bounced as he replied, "Willy had put up a new ward that allowed Willy to sense a new arrival if someone passed that ward."
You shook your head, smiling brighter than James had ever seen as you turned around, almost forgetting he was there.
"We need to go back. I need to stay at Headquarters until I can find a new place to shift us all."
James nodded but spoke without realizing, "Of course, but you could come to my place, it's fairly empty."
He mentally slapped himself. You two were at loggerheads two weeks ago and now here he was offering you to stay at his flat.
You smiled, "Thank you for the offer, but it wouldn't be nice of us to intrude, plus," You looked down at the excited puppy in your arms, "Headquarters may be more ideal for Fluffy in terms of space."
James nodded, not trusting himself to speak for if he did, something stupid would escape his mouth again.
James and you went through your cottage, collecting anything of importance and essentials, before apparating back to Headquarters, leaving the cottage in the state it was in case someone came back.
════ ⋆★⋆ ════
A/N: Hey everyone! I hope you're all well! This chapter was okay I feel but I'm more excited for the next few chapters, you'll see why when they're out! Take care! <33
Wizard Buddies (Taglist): @quack-quack-snacks @jamespottergf @themarauderswife7 @amethyistheart
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entitled-fangirl · 9 months ago
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Two idiots in love. (P9)
Joel Miller x anemic!reader
Summary: The reader is determined to care for Ellie and Joel as he recovers. She meets a seemingly kind man named David, and she struggles with whether to trust him or not.
Masterlist
Part 1 and 10
Author's note: God forbid I ever get straight to the point.
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Y/N let out a gasp at Joel's bruising grip on her wrist. 
Maybe she should've warned the man before applying that much pressure to the wound.
But she was panicking, and didn't know what to do with herself.
The strings of hardly heard curses that came from Joel's mouth were like angelic sounds to the woman. 
It meant he was still alive.
And that was enough for her. 
The basement of an abandoned house in the middle of nowhere was not exactly the place Y/N wanted to be, but they needed to give Joel time to heal. 
And she was more than willing to do anything for him.
For her Joel.
"Come on, come on, Joel. You gotta help me." She muttered under her breath to him.
He barely tilted his head up to her, "Leave."
Ellie looked over the woman's shoulder, "Shut up, Joel."
"And take the gun."
"SHUT THE FUCK UP!" Ellie screamed.
He reached out and grabbed Y/N's collar. With what strength he had left, he pulled her close to his face, "You go north. You go to Tommy."
She shook her head at him hurriedly, only making the man panic further. "S..sweet girl, please."
"You… you just let me stay. How am I supposed to just leave you?"
"Go. GO!" And he pushed her shoulder, making her stumble back onto the floor.
Ellie was frustrated, and went outside to give herself time to breathe.
Y/N moved back towards Joel, letting her fingers gently brush his messy curls from his face, "Honey, I'm not going anywhere. I'm gonna… stay as long as I need to. Until you're ready to go again."
The gently prodding of her fingers in his hair was whisking him to sleep.
But she needed to hear his voice more before she let him finally succumb, "Joel…?"
She barely heard his replied hum.
"What um… you said you had left a note for me? Well… I was just thinking about it… What did it say?"
"You…" he swallowed, struggling to talk, "You read it when… when you get back to Jackson…"
She shook her head again, "I'm not going. I told you that."
His lips pulled into a very small smile, "You're so pretty. So… so beautiful…"
She watched his eyes close and his body finally relax as he fell asleep.
She let out a sigh, pulling Joel's jacket over his body to give him warmth.
Ellie let out a small cry as she tried to give Joel water.
He was still passed out cold, and she had resorted to dripping water from her fingers onto his lips in hopes that he'd take it.
Y/N walked by the sight with a sigh, before leaning down behind the girl, "You're doing alright, baby."
And she kissed Ellie on the top of the head.
Ellie couldn't remember the last time someone did that.
Or even ANY time somebody had done that for her.
"I'm gonna go out… try to hunt." Y/N said. "We're gonna need something if we stay here. Think you can hold down the fort for me, El?"
Ellie nodded. "I can do that."
She smiled, "Good. I'll be back in a few hours. Hopefully with dinner. I won't lie to you, though. I'm not as good of a shot as Joel."
Only then did Ellie finally smile. "Just… promise you'll come back?"
"Don't worry. I'm not gonna leave you, baby."
And Y/N kissed the unconscious Joel on the forehead before heading upstairs.
God, Y/N forgot how much she hated the cold.
Especially knowing that Joel wouldn't be able  to warm her up when she got back like he always used to.
But as luck would have it, a beautiful deer was only 20 yards from her.
She smiled, and knelt down to crouch with the gun. 
She remembered Joel's words.
Slow and steady. Gently. 
Gunshot.
Right in its head.
But as luck would have it, someone was ready to take it back with them instead.
David sighed, "What do you think?"
James shrugged, "Seems fine to me."
"Alright. Well, let's get it now. I reckon that whoever shot it is not far off."
David kneeled down to grab the deer.
And hear the click of a handgun against his head.
"Don't. Move."
Y/N faked bravery with her words and actions, but inside, she was terrified. 
"Drop your fucking rifles."
The men did so, and Y/N let David stand.
The two men turned around to face her.
They could see the quick rise and fall of her chest even through her heavy coat. The panic in her eyes.
"You're quite a hunter." David reasoned. "We didn't even hear you coming."
"Where the hell did you come from?" She retaliated. 
"We're not here to hurt you." David reasoned again, "Let us have 10 seconds of your time."
"Just answer the goddamn question!" 
"I'm David, this is my friend James. We're from a larger group: women, children, and we're all very, very hungry…"
"Weird," Y/N lied. "I'm from a large group, too. But, I don't steal others' game." 
"Well, even so," David tried again, "ya can't drag this back on your own."
"I can fucking try."
The man sighed, "We're not asking for charity. We can trade you for some of the deer. We have… well, what do you need?"
Y/N was actually considering his offer. Her gun lowered just barely. "…Medicine?"
She didn't notice the way James' jaw clenched.
"We do," David nodded, "Back in our village. You're welcome to follow us."
"I'm not stupid," she scoffed. "You stay with me." She nodded towards James, "He can go get it and come back. Half the deer."
David nodded, "What kind of medicine?"
She let out a shuddered breathe, watching it show in the cold air, "Uh… penicillin? For infections?"
"Alright." He turned to James, "Go talk to Howard. Bring back two bottles and a syringe. It's not code. Do as I say."
Y/N let the barrel of the gun follow James as he stepped away.
"Now, step away from the rifle."
David did so immediately. "Whose gun is that? Your husbands?"
Y/N let out a scoff. She picked up David's rifle and slung it over to shoulder along with Joel's. 
"None of your fucking business."
"Is he sick? Is that why you're out here instead of him?"
Y/N just shook her head and his antics. 
"Well, look. It's a four-mile round trip back to our settlement. It's gonna be a while before James gets back. I have some oil and matches in my pack. We could.. uh… take shelter. Start a fire."
She pursed her lips. 
The man seemed sincere.
"Alright. But you drag the deer."
"So, what's your name?"
Y/N scrunched up her nose as she looked down to her gun that rested on the floor near her crossed legs.
"It's hard to trust strangers. I know," David nodded. "But, I honestly mean you no harm."
She was cursing herself for her big fucking heart.
David seems to notice her internal battle. "For what it's worth, there's room for you in our group."
She shook her head, "I'm not interested in your… hunger club or whatever."
"I'm just a man tryna take care of the people who rely on me. Like… whoever is sick that's relying on you now."
"So, you're their leader?"
"Wasn't my choice. It was theirs. But… yeah."
"What… what do you mean?"
"Well, I'm a preacher. It's not a cult thing… just standard Bible stuff."
Her eyebrows furrowed, "After all this, you still believe in that?"
He smiled, "I actually started believing after the world ended."
A hint of a smile rested on the woman's face. "Interesting. Well, I'm sorry to have crossed paths with you like this. Maybe in another life, I would've joined your group. But I have my own."
David nods, "Well, I believe everything happens for a reason."
She scoffed slightly.
"It's true!" He laughed. "It does. I can prove it to you!"
She laughed, "Alright. Shoot."
"Well, we didn't expect this winter to be so harsh. Hard to find game. So, I sent four of our people to a nearby town to scavenge what they could. And… only three of them came back."
Oh fuck.
She tried to keep her face from showing any emotion.
"Turns out," David continued, "He was murdered by this crazy man. And get this: That crazy man was traveling with a little family. A wife and a girl."
Y/N leaned back, letting her hand slowly wander back to her gun on the floor.
"See?" David smiled. "Everything happens for a reason. James, lower the gun."
Her body went into flight mode, jumping up and pointing her handgun at James. But his rifle was already aimed at her.
"She's the one that killed Alec, isn't she?" James asked.
"She didn't kill anybody," David smiled. "Lower the gun."
James hesitantly did so.
Y/N felt like she was suffocating.
"Did you being the medicine?" David asked.
James nodded, "I did, but-"
"-Give it to her."
He held the medicine out, and Y/N slowly approached him and took it.
She then began to back away, deciding to go without the deer.
"I know you're not with a group," David said. "You won't survive long. I can protect you."
She shook her head. "I don't need your help. We're fine on our own."
Then, she took off in a sprint.
"Ellie? ELLIE!" Y/N screamed as she ran into the house.
Ellie immediately ran up the stairs to the woman, pulling her into a hug. "Did you get it?"
She shook her head, "No… I… I'm sorry. But, I got something for Joel." She pulled out the penicillin.
"What is that?"
Y/N smiled widely, "It's medicine. I got him medicine."
The next day, Y/N had volunteered to go out to scoop snow for Joel.
She was trying to not freak out Ellie about what had happened the previous day.
Which meant she didn't tell Ellie about it at all, and volunteered for anything that was outside of the house.
So, when a few of David's men showed up in the neighborhood, she was thankful that she was the one out there instead of her girl.
"Stay alert," David said, "If this man's not already dead, he's dangerous."
"And the girl and the woman?"
"We bring them back with us."
James sighed, "I don't mean to question your sense of mercy, David. We can let them go. But, we bring them back with us, they're just more mouths to feed."
"If we leave them out here, they'll die."
"Yeah," James retaliated, "Well, maybe that's God's will."
David turned to look at James, but didn't say a word.
"Ellie. Joel." Y/N whispered when she finally made it back to the house.
"What the fuck is happening?" Ellie worried.
"You need to stay here. Stay quiet. There are… fuck… there are men outside. I have to go." 
Y/N kneeled by Joel's head, taking it in her hands, "Wake up. Joel, honey, wake up."
She smiled as his eyelids barely opened to reveal his dark eyes.
"There are men that are coming, okay? I'm gonna lead them away from you two but if anybody makes it down here, you…" she looks up at Ellie in exasperation. "…you gotta fucking kill them. Don't… don't hesitate."
She stood, "And don't let Joel sleep."
She wanted to hold Ellie and tell her it would be okay.
She wanted to kiss Joel again and feel his warm breath on her face.
She wanted a lot of things.
But wants weren't allowed anymore.
She hurried upstairs. 
She knew she couldn't fight them.
And she couldn't outrun them.
Maybe she would just have to surrender herself to save them.
Then Ellie and Joel could find her. 
Or they could die in the cold.
Better than dying at the hands of these men.
She wandered down a few street, as far as she could to keep them from looking in the house that Joel slept in.
She had to fake confusion.
Her plan was in action.
When the man rounded the corner, she pretended to be tying her horse to a tree.
And she feigned surprise when she heard the clicking of their guns.
She turned around with a worried expression, "oh, shit." She murmured. "…David?"
He smiled, "You know, I never caught your name."
"Why do you want it so bad?"
He shrugged, "I just… like ya or something. You have this… way about you. You draw people in."
She shook her head, "Well… I guess you came in time."
He tilted his head in confusion, "In time… for what?"
She had to pinch herself to make the tears come, "They… they're dead."
David's face turned to one of remorse, "Oh, sweetheart. I'm sorry. That can't be an easy feeling. A now childless widow. But don't worry." He smiled at her as he approached, "We'll take care of you."
"David…?" James asked.
He turned to look over his shoulder, "What's one more mouth, James?"
But when David turned back to Y/N, she punched him as hard as she could in his jaw.
And she ran.
It threw the men off, and they weren't sure what to do.
But as they ran after her, David's voice traveled through the cold air, "ALIVE!"
It was harder to run in the snow than she thought.
But those thoughts stopped when she hit a brick wall.
James.
He grabbed her throat, cutting off her air supply.
She gasped under his grip until her face started to lose color.
Now real tears were falling from her eyes.
Especially when she felt her body give way.
David made his way over to the unconscious body. He picked her up gently before turning to the men. "You want vengeance? Go door to door. Find him. Deliver it."
And the preacher began to walk back to camp with Joel's most delicate and precious possession in his arms.
...............................................................
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minhosimthings · 9 months ago
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A La Folie ft. Jay || Part 2
Synopsis: Wounds came and went. All in the circle of life am I right? The greatest warrior among all the kings, Park Jay. For him, seeing blood was like seeing the sky. It was a daily routine which he could not escape. Yes sometimes he had grave injuries, which he wouldn't stop to take care of, with him being a workaholic. But sometimes healers do more than heal physical wounds, and for Jay, you did exactly that.
Pairings: King!Jay × healer!fem!reader
Warnings: fluff, angst, suggestive at the end, SMUT IN THE NEXT CHAPTER MY BABIES, mentions of food, mentions of abuse, reader has scars, mention of blood and violence, hurt/comfort, reader has a panic attack, Heeseung suffering a shit ton lmao I'm sorry hee
A/N: I am legit so sorry for the long wait my babies I wanted to make this as perfect as possible! Thank you for the notes on the first part YAY!!! And the next chapter has smut hehe 😏😏
Part 1 || Part 2 || Part 3
The French Quotes Series Masterlist
Memories are said to be core parts of a person's life, no matter good or bad.
The only memories you had were of blood, broken glass, and destroyed homes.
Laughter had always seemed so frightening to you, it reminded you terribly of your mother and father's drunken laughter, as they put the belt to their daughter, just because she was a daughter.
Laughter was no longer how your older brother used to comb your hair, how he used to engulf you in his arms everytime the house was filled with things that a seven year old shouldn't be hearing.
Laughter and love, no longer seemed to exist, as you looked down on the bruises on your skin, and wondered when the last time someone had noticed it under all your setting powder was.
Oh right.
Just over an hour ago by the goddamn king of the place you lived in. The possibility of something going wrong was approximately zero, and yet your powder just had to melt off.
Now you were slumped against your bed, almost about to tear your hair out at how much you were regretting even signing up for an apprentice's position in the palace. At the time, when you were fifteen, it seemed the only possible solution, to get away from your home.
To get away from Jooyeon, atleast.
Knock knock knock.
You let out a loud groan at the sound of tapping on the door. Who on earth was calling for you now?
Checking the clock on the wall, you seethed. Begrudgingly getting up, you dragged yourself to the door, and opened it only to find-
"Your Highness!" You gasped, quickly bending into a curtsey at the light footed man standing before you, "Um..am I of any requirance?"
Heeseung chuckled, and pressed his hand to his chest, returning the respect but bowing to you and sweeping away a stray hair from his forehead.
"Jay just sent me over to you to find out if you were alright, Miss Y/N." He said, with the air of a holy messenger, "You seemed to have rushed out the door on his saying something. Did he offend you perhaps?"
"Oh." You breathed a sigh of relief, not realising your facial expression until you saw Heeseung's amused face looking at you, "Oh no! No absolutely not! No, it's um—its really my fault, sort of. Um—is-is he quite mad?"
Heeseung mused over the question for a bit, quietly laughing to himself at how flustered you were.
"Well I wouldn't say mad." Heeseung finally answered after what seemed like an eternity, "But I would say extremely confused and possibly bleeding out his bandages again."
"Fuck." You cursed under your breath, hoping Heeseung didn't hear what you said, "I'll see it to the matter straight away, Your Highness."
"Oh please, Miss Y/N, call me Heeseung." He winked flirtatiously at you, to which you wanted to slightly gag.
"Is it a custom for all Paradoxica kings to allow their nurses to call them by their names?" You chuckled, remembering how Jay so magnificently told you to call him by his name.
"Maybe just for the handsome ones." Heeseung jested, throwing you another wink, which you tried hard not to frown at.
As Heeseung's footsteps faded away, you turned to the door in front of you. Taking a deep breath, you strode forward and slowly opened the door, having the scent of musk hit your nostrils with a bang again, as your eyes fell upon Jay, sitting calmly against the bedframe with his bandages drenched in red.
"May I come in, Your Majesty?" You forced the sentence out, not daring to meet Jay's eyes. You heard a slight hum of approval, to which you sighed a breath of relief and strode in, immediately going to the tiny table you had set up in the corner of the room and getting your supplies to change Jay's bandages, not noticing how Jay's eyes were following your every movement.
Silence filled the room for many minutes as you went on with your routine of pressing the ointment against his wounds and wrapping them up in clean linen. You hadn't dared to lift your lids up to Jay, all the while you were touching his stomach.
"Who did that to you?"
The air stilled drastically, at Jay's cold question, which he offered in a bittersweet voice, and you knew he could see how you visibly froze, from the hair on top of your head down to your little toe finger.
"Pardon me, Your Majesty?" You said, pretending not to hear the question and quickly wrapping up your tools. But Jay was quicker.
"I said—" he leaned forward, to your figure sitting on the stool and he whispered dangerously in your ear,
"Who gave you that mark on your shoulder?"
Jay's suspicions proved true at your flinch at his tone. Leaning back to look at your face, he saw nothing but pure fear and a few tears. His thoughts immediately started to run wild.
"Forgive me." He sighed, "That was too far."
"It was." The words ran out before you could stop them, and a bit harsher than you had wanted.
"May I be please be excused?" You asked him, trying hard to ignore the pit in your stomach and the urge to throw yourself onto a bed and sob.
That night, you tried everything to fall asleep. Empty packets of chamomile were all strewn over the floor, the heavy scent of lavender candles floated in the air, and yet nothing was knocking you out.
Sleep came very late into the darkness and sleep came disturbed. You had no idea how many times your eyes cracked open and stared at the ceiling above because the nightmare just seemed too damn real to be a figment of your imagination. You wondered how it would have been like if you had stayed with Jay all night in his chambers, you had heard that Mrs.Chun often stayed with him when he was injured.
Secrets and secrets never to be untold, you started to write in your diary again, to kill your time, and hopefully drowse off as soon as your poem was completed.
Little did you know, a certain king was doing the same thing next door.
"So let me get this straight-" Sunghoon ran his fingers through his hair, "You have a very attractive woman your age tending to you, almost touching your abs, talking to you like you want to be talked to, smells like lavender, and an apparently suspicious bruise on her shoulder and you want to find out where that thing came from but she won't tell you?"
"Well when you say it that way." Jay glared at his fellow king, "And anyways I'm pretty sure she's upset with me right now, she practically ran out on me yesterday."
Sunghoon snickered and ran a hand through his hair again. "How are you holding up? With the injury and all?"
"It's much better than Y/N expects me to rest for." Jay scoffed, "Have you seen her out of her chambers when you were coming here?"
"I think she's in the infirmary." Sunghoon scratched his head, "One of the maids told me that she was busy."
If you were in the infirmary, the infirmary was where Jay would go. With a heavy breath, he lunged himself off of the bed and onto his feet, to the concerned brow raise of Sunghoon.
"Alright you should return to your palace now, doesn't the kingdom need you and all?"
"I don't think so." Sunghoon threaded his fingers into his locks, "It's a bright sunny day, Jongsoeng brighten up a bit!"
"If you touch your hair one more time Park Sunghoon, I will brighten up your funeral."
The infirmary was a place of healing. For both physical and mental wounds. For most of your teenage years, Mrs Chun had set about trying heal the latter, by immersing you into the art of healing others. It had been fascinating, you thought, the quiet of the stone walls and the cold air brushing against your skin with kisses you preferred. It made you forget your home.
So it wasn't a surprise that this was the place you came to early in the morning when the king had ordered your presence. You were currently working on a nightmare potion for yourself, trying to mix in some additionalities to make you dream about something else.
Your carefully measured out drops of cranberry juice caught your attention as the vibration from the sound of heavy steps coming from outside made it quiver ever so slightly.
Sighing to yourself when you heard the door knob's knock, you abandoned your chemicals and went towards the door, thankful for your infirmary outfit of trousers because they didn't drag behind you. Why couldn't you have worn this when you were tending to-
"Your Majesty!" You all but screamed, quickly bowing to the man in front of you, "uh....hi." you added awkwardly at the end.
"Hi." Jay replied back, "And I told you not to call me that. Just call me Jay it's fine."
"You're the goddamn king, I can't just call you by your first name." You retorted as Jay walked in and dropped into the chair by the table where your nightmare potion lay, "Do you need anything?"
"Entertainment." Jay replied promptly, curiously poking at some herbs, "Why don't you wear that often?"
"Pardon?" You said before looking down and realising what you were wearing. You quickly grabbed a blanket and covered your lower portion, "That wasn't meant for anyone's eyes."
"You look good." Jay winked, nibbling on the cilantro you had saved for the potion, "Is that a nightmare potion?"
"Mrs Chun told me you were horrible at potions." You laughed, letting do of the blanket and striding over to Jay, plopping down on the chair opposite to him, "Kudos to recognising the potion."
"She's exaggerating, you know how old women are these days."
"How old do you suspect I am?" You asked, curious as to the king's opinions on women's ages. Jay thought for a moment before speaking.
"Depends." He leaned forward and smiled, "How old do you think I am?"
"45." You answered with an air of pride to your voice, to which Jay gasped dramatically and put a hand to his chest.
"You wound me Y/N." He chuckled, "Healers are supposed to heal aren't they?"
"Well depending on how you take your tea with a jar full of honey, you're certainly an old man." You were uncontrollably laughing now, "We're the same age, 22."
There was a moment of silence, in which you silently took the potion away from his radius and into your hands, your eyes widening dangerously at the bubbling liquid.
"Damn it!" You said, wincing at the hot touch. You looked around frantically for something, anything, which could calm the potion down, while Jay looked on, confused at your doings. Nevertheless, he got up and started to look for whatever you wanted.
"What are we looking for?" Jay asked as you ripped open the cupboards, the potion was bubbling aggressively by now.
"Something that can calm the potion down!" You cried, trying to get your mind to think, something to neutralize liquid, "like a lemon, alkali something."
Jay knew nightmare potion was dangerous when it wasn't neutralized, poisoning the skin of those whose grasp it reached. He racked his brain, trying to remember what Mrs Chun had taught him.
"Oh how about that baking soda there!" Jay pointed, wincing slightly as he felt pressure against his wounds but he tried not to show it, "It's alkali is it not?"
You had no time to respond as you grabbed thd baking soda at the speed of lightning and poured it all into the potion. The aggravated liquid seemed to calm down, as the bubbles slowly faded away and the colour changes from green to its normal azure.
"Thank the fucking heavens." You sighed, plopping down on the table much to Jay's amusement, "Thank you, Jay."
"I don't think Mrs Chun would like the state of this room right now." Jay motioned to the floor, where powders and cupboards lay ripped open from your frantic try to find an alkali. He was right of course, Mrs Chun would have killed you. The baking soda was also finished.
"Ah damn." You said, not realising the amount of times you swore in front of the kind today, you had to go out and get new ones now. You started to pick up the bigger jars which were thankfully not broken and arrange them back, not noticing Jay doing the same thing behind you. When you did notice however you were horrified.
"Your Majesty sit down!" You commanded, forcing Jay down onto the chair, "You'll worsen the injury."
"But I want to help." Jay visibly pouted, adorable, you thought, "Please?"
"Absolutely not." You responded, five minutes away from tying him to the chair, "If you're that bored, we can talk, but under no circumstance am I allowing you to bend and work."
Jay considered his options and came to the conclusion that talking was the better option. He wanted to find out more about your mysterious ways of enchanting him so well, about that scar too....
"Shall I start then?" Jay asked, as you nodded and started on the mess again, "Favourite food?"
"That's the best question you could think of?" You scoffed playfully, nevertheless smiling at him, "Apricots. Alright my turn. Hm..allergies?"
"Peaches, which is a pity because I love peaches. Hobbies?"
"Most of the time, reading, but I like experimenting here in the infirmary." You said. You liked this conversation, it was peaceful, bouncing back on each other with questions of all kinds. There was laughter, teasing and perhaps the most happiness you had felt in a lot of time.
"Birds can take over the world, you can fight me on that."
"If I fought you over it, I'd probably lose." Jay laughed, holding his stomach from the amount of bird jokes you both had made in the past fifteen minutes.
"So any siblings?"
Jay's question made you freeze again into that familiar pose Jay had grown to hate now. He wondered whether it was something related to your family that you were making the nightmare potion for.
"I'm sorry, you clearly aren't comfortable with discussing it I won't bring it up agai-"
"No it's alright." You sighed, letting out a breath that felt like it had been caged forever somewhere, "I-Well I don't speak with my family anymore they weren't exactly the loving type, a-and I ran away when I was 14."
14. That was the age when Jay lost everything.
"Well I guess we have a lot in common then." Jay sent you a comforting smile. God he had a gorgeous smile, you wished you could see it on his face at all times of the day.
"That would be a horrible similarly wouldn't it?" You forced a kindred smile. Jay nodded at your statement, and picked up the cilantro again, bringing the smaller leaves to his mouth to chew.
"Well I'll leave you to your work." Jay slumped off of his chair, the pain in his bandages had decreased now, "Good day Y/N."
"Good day Your- I mean Jay."
Jay had no idea how he managed to reach his chambers, his feet managed to trace the path back, all that was on his mind was how much if a mystery you still were.
That night, he opened the glass case in his room for the first time in seven years, taking out the ruby dagger and admiring how much it felt like your touch.
"Hyung are you serious?" Jay's fingers massaged his temple, as Heeseung smirked.
Both of them were sitting outside, in the warm afternoon Sun after you had allowed Jay to go outside on making sure his bandages were healed. It had been a few days since the infirmary incident, and Jay had constantly sneaked up so many times and messed with your potions that you had to threaten to rip apart the infirmary and blame it on him when Mrs Chun returned. Jay had heard worse threats in his life, but never before had he actually listened to them than now.
Plus it was the only thing that could allow him to see you in your shirt and trousers fit which he adores so much, even if you glared at him while he made suggestions for a potion while sitting next to you. Granted, he had been useful sometimes, particularly the time, he carefully bandaged your hand when you got a nasty burn from some dragon scales.
Unbeknownst to him, you though he looked adorable, with his tongue stuck out in pure concentration, as he carefully pressed his fingers across yours. It bought a blush to your face.
"It's the only favour I ask of you Jay" Heeseung tried to put on his best boba eye impression, to manipulate Jay into asking you out on a date. To Heeseung's wedding.
"Why can't you ask?" Jay sighed, talking a sip of his lemonade.
"Because Y/N isn't making my heart beat at the pace of a cheetah, she's making yours." Heeseung smirked, "Wait isn't that her?"
Jay's head whipped around to look behind him, making a crack sound as it went. His eyes landed on someone in the distance, wearing an olive dress and a straw hat, carrying a wickerwork basket, possibly to pick some on the daffodils growing in the garden. Royal healers were always allowed to pick herbs in the garden, so that's what you were probably doing.
God you looked beautiful, Jay thought. It reminded him of earlier, happier days, of days when laughter echoed high through the walls and flowers bloomed. Especially lavender. Lavender, like his mother....
"Jay, you're staring." Heeseung coughed loudly, snapping Jay out of his euphoria.
In the distance, you were willing away your time by plucking out tiny bristles of daffodils, they would do you good in makin the nightmare potions again. It wad a pleasant day today and you hadn't expected Jay to come out, but there he was, sitting alongside Heeseung in a loose white shirt, open slightly at neck. You hoped fervently that there weren't any mind readers present at the scene, lest they read all your extremely unholy thoughts.
The last few days, were fun, happy even. You liked Jay making conversation with you at the infirmary. Sure he annoyed you sometimes, but you didn't think you had laughed this much in ages now. It felt like home, true home, which you hadn't ever known the feeling of.
The sound of loud coughing made you flinch as you turned around to see both the royals snap their heads into the distance from staring at you. Giggling to yourself, you began to walk towards them, basket full of daffodils in hand.
"Fuck she's coming here." Jay whispered, pretending to look busy in fishing the cilantro pieces out from his glass.
"And I thought I was the lovesick one." Heeseung rolled his eyes, quickly putting on his brightest smile, as he saw you approaching.
"Miss Y/N!" Heeseung bowed to you, trying to sound like he wasn't about to possibly ruin Jay's love life, "Are you doing well?"
"Perfect, Your Highness." You curtsied, noticing Jay still hiding his face, "Congratulations on the betrothal, Your Highness, or should I call you Heeseung?"
"You remember?" He shot you a cheeky smile, sitting down on his chair agin, as you sat down on the one a servant brought you, "Well I assume you are coming to the ball? I would be devastated if my darling Queen didn't meet you."
You chuckled and quietly shook your head. "I don't believe I was invited. Plus, i have no family or friend to go with."
"Oh what a coincidence! Jay doesn't either!" Heeseung said, in a fake cheery voice, as Jay groaned silently to himself and fervently wished to disappear from this moment. This was by far the weakest he had ever felt in all his life.
"Oh...um... That's sad?" You were uncertain on what to say. Heeseung took a deep breath, and reminded himself that he had to play Cupid properly.
"Yes it's so sad, don't you think it would so nice if you two went together?"
Perhaps the most frightening thing the birds heard that day was the sound of Jay's cough at Heeseung's sentence.
"Jay! Oh my god-" you panicked, bit Heeseung merely rolled his eyes and harshly patted Jay's back.
"Calm down idiot." Heeseung grumbled, and then turned back to you with a bright smile on his face, "Anyways, as we were saying, how about it Miss Y/N?"
"Well, for starters-" you said, with the air of a true healer, "I have to go out to town and get some supplies, the infirmary is nearly out. And secondly, it is a royal ball. I don't believe I have anything royal to wear."
"Oh pity, I think Jay knows a really good seamstress in town don't you Jay?" Heeseung smirked at a red eared Jay who was doing everything in his power to appear not flustered, "Plus weren't you going to go on your undercover rounds tomorrow Jay? Oh that's perfect! You and Y/N can go get the supplies in town, and get some measurements for her dress and voila! A perfect date to my wedding!"
That night, both you and Jay went to sleep peacefully, without scented candles or chamomile teas.
That night, a healer and a king couldn't wait for tomorrow's gift.
(And Heeseung slept, giggling next to his annoyed but loving wife)
"You look rather dashing." You giggled, clutching a basket tightly in your hand, and leaning against the door, admiring the figure of the man in front of you. Jay was clad in simple clothes today, a workman's attire. And he still looked more handsome that the devil himself.
"Oh shut up." Jay rolled his eyes, "You definetly look prettier."
"Where did you learn to impress a lady like that hmm?" You questioned, as Jay tried everything to adjust his collar and failed, "That's not how you press the fabric down idiot."
"First of all-" Jay glared playfully at you, "I didn't learn it just comes to me naturally" you scoffed at that, "Second of all you just called the king of tis kingdom an idiot. And third of all-" his eyes went round like the ones he used when he wanted something, "Can you adjust this collar please?"
"Idiot." You laughed, putting your basket down and walking over to him, your hands going up towards his unruly collar, "My idiot, unfortunately."
"Since when do healers get to own people?" Jay jested, feeling his entire world freeze at the soft touch of your hands. God you smelled like lavender and love.
Love? That four lettered word? Please, Jay mentally scoffed, it didn't exist.
But as Jay watched you, felt your fingers touching his neck, and your waist pressing against his, as you carefully adjusted the collar, in that very moment, he saw the most beautiful aspects of his life, and he knew he was helplessly in love. He craved your touch, your presence, your eyes stuck to his, anything with you. Was this the love his mother always spoke of?
"And I'm done!" You breathed a sigh of relief, the collar was hard to pull down, and you were relieved when it finally flattened. What you weren't expecting however, was Jay staring at you with widened eyes when you looked up from his neck.
"Um...Jay?" You said, waving your hand in front of him, "Earth to The great King Park Jongsoeng."
Your voice seemed to break Jay out of his temporary trance, as he quickly blinked his eyes and popped his lips together. "We should go." He said, much to your relief.
"Hey wait a second." You stopped him from exiting. Your fingers went up to his hair and quickly ruffled it, making it look messy and unruly
"There." You presented proudly, "now you look like a true town person."
Something in Jay told him that this day would go in a second as all good days went.
Jay had never before gone on his monthly undercover trip to the town, accompanied by anyone else. He feared it would blow his cover to the people. The trip always benefited him, he would get some delicious food, a day without guards, a day with peace, and a free survey of the citizens' wellbeing.
Today was different. He had no interest in looking at the wellbeing of the people, nor on the food. All he cared about was you.
You, with your head held high, easily chatting up the store owners, bargaining for the price of powdered dragon scales and smiling wide at the tiny child who had run up to you and have you a tiny sunflower blossom.
His heart was weak, fragile around you, it contained lovesick blood which he hadn't ever held before. Your hearty laughter, your hair moving in harmony with you and the contagious joy you spread to the people in the bustling market, it made Jay's knees buckle.
"Jongsoeng come on!" You cried, walking perhaps fifteen steps ahead of Jay. He had to jog to keep up. You were calling him by his actual name, since most people outside of royalty didn't know his real name.
"Did you get everything?" Jay panted, peering into your full basket. You nodded.
"Yep! I even got the cilantro you like chewing so much like a cow." You giggled, holding up a few leaves to his mouth, "Say ahh" you teased him as if you were feeding a child.
"Ahhh" Jay opened up his mouth and pushed the cilantro into his mouth, much to your surprise. You flinched slightly at his cold touch.
"Delicious." Jay smacked his lips together dramatically, "Anyways shall we get going?"
"Please don't tell me we're going to some shoe shop, I detest the smell of leather." You groaned, earning a look from Jay.
"That is by far the weirdest thing I've ever heard." Jay chuckled, "And we're going to the best seamstress of this kingdom darling, so keep your socks on."
Your heart fluttered uncontrollably at his nickname.
"Ah my King. Welcome!" A well dressed woman, with her hair tied into a fishtail greeted Jay and you. You assumed she was the Chaeryoung from "Chaeryoung's Seams", signboard outside which indicated her grand castle of a shop. This, according to Jay, was where all the aristocrats obtained their clothes.
"Chaeryoung, I assume you are well?" Jay pressed a kiss to her hand, a custom for most unmarried men, but delivering a pang of jealousy to your heart.
"I do not care about my wellbeing right now, Your Majesty. All I care about-" she shifted her pretty, cat-like eyes to you, "-is this beauty standing before me."
You felt your cheeks heat up at Chaeryoung's complement. You? A beauty? Impossible it seemed, especially next to a pretty woman like Chaeryoung.
"I am Y/N." You curtsied, "You are quite gorgeous yourself, Miss Chaeryoung."
Chaeryoung let out a giggle and blushed red in her ears, turning to Jay. "You found someone quite like yourself, Your Majesty."
"Oh please." You scoffed playfully, "I am much more handsome than him, don't you think?"
To Jay, that was more of a complement than an insult, especially when it came from your mouth.
You stayed in Chaeryoung's shop until the sky darkened. She wouldn't let you go until you tried on every combination she asked you to.
Jay was quite useful in this, you thought, giving Chaeryoung recommendations on necklines and earings and whatnot.
A memory which stayed particularly on your mind, was when you stepped out in a beautiful dress, which hugged your body perfectly, with a neckline that could send any man to heaven if he looked at it.
Any man meant Jay too, who thought he would combust if he saw you on any more dresses. He swore he could have seen pixies sparkling their magic dust over you.
"How does this look?" You stood in front of Jay with a big smile on your face.
"Spin for me." Jay said, standing up, to assess the dress more properly, as you spun, the fabric seemingly obeying your every command and spinning with you like a Scottish Fold's tail. Could you get any prettier?
"I swear to god if you don't get this dress, I will open my bandages." Jay said dramatically, much to Chaeryoung's pleasure who nodded and rushed out of the room, to get your measurements.
"Do I look good?" You asked again, a bit uncertainly this time.
"Good?" Jay scoffed, "You look like the prettiest person on earth."
"You sure know how to make a girl blush, are you sure you haven't had practice?" You giggled, spinning one more time in the dress to admire yourself. You loved the way the fabric felt against your skin, it hugged it in a way that all your scars didn't hurt too much. A perfect dress, you thought.
Perfect. Until you looked down at your collarbone.
Fate has its ways, dear reader. And it has many ways for misfortune.
"Oh no-no no no." You swore under your breath. Well that is, if you were even breathing. You were panicking, and panic attacks weren't exactly cotton candy flavoured for you. You could feel your throat tighten up and your peripheral vision blend out.
You felt cold all around, you felt the harsh words of little girls and the screams of your parents. You felt Jooyeon too....
"Hey hey Y/N, calm down." You could hear Jay's voice faintly behind you, but you couldn't bring yourself to focus on anything.
Jay was worried, extremely worried. He hadn't ever seen you panic like this before. Sure you had a few stressful mishaps in the infirmary, but this? Never before. Jay was confused as to why you were currently supporting your entire weight on him but he took one look down at your collarbone and he knew.
"Y/N, darling, I need you to breathe for me." Jay whispered in your ear, unsure of what to do. His hands trailed down to your waist, while one supported your shoulder.
"Shh, I'm right here, I'm right here calm down." Jay coached you, tracing shapes along your neck, which worked effectively.
"I-" you kept your sob in your throat, "I need something to c-cover..."
You felt a warm sort of cloth wrap around your shouder, Jay's jacket.
"Calm down now." Jay whispered again, hearing faint footsteps in the distance, "I'll distract Chaeryoung, you run."
"Your bandages aren't bleeding much, I think they're healed.." You clicked your tongue, pressing against Jay's wounds.
"You sound worried though, darling." Jay said, his eyes never leaving you even as you got up and settled your supplies down.
"You know I won't ever stop worrying about you." You chuckled, sitting opposite him on the bed, with two cups of chamomile. Drinking tea with Jay at night seemed to relax your nerves.
"So..."
"So?"
"Would you like to talk about what happened?"
You bit your lip at his question, savouring the taste of the chamomile for a while.
"Would you really like to know?" You sighed, putting your tea down, "You've been curious over it for a lot of days."
"I would like to know whether you want Jooyeon killed or tortured." Jay calmly sipped his tea.
Jooyeon.
How did he know?!
"How-" you raised your eyes to him, "Do you know about Jooyeon?"
"I'm a King, darling." Jay chuckled, his eyes seemed more dangerous than ever, "I know everything."
"If you knew everything, then why did you ask me?" You said, your tone laced with venom.
Jay's eyes softened. "I know who he is but I don't know what he did to you, darling." He toyed with his empty cup, "and I wanted to know why you hide that scar."
"Because it's ugly!" You cried out, slamming your teacup onto the table next to you, you were surprised it didn't break, "Because everyone I've ever met in my life recoils from it whenever they see it and for some fucking reason you didn't and it's just so weird!"
The air stilled again in that familiar manner, and flashes of memories came into Jay's mind.
'Mum why do you hide your shoulder?'
'its not as beautiful as the rest of me, Jay. Why do you ask?'
'You're still pretty to me mum!'
Your memories on the other hand, were entirely different.
The sound of glass....
The smell of blood....
Jooyeon's grip on your thigh.....
"Y/N, love-"
"I'm sorry, I-I shouldn't have-"
Jay's hand buried you into his chest, as your sob ripped through the air like a siren. He could feel his shirt become damp but he didn't give a single damn. All he cared about was how you were practically shaking apart in his arms.
Your shattered words of 'Im sorry!' broke his heart into tatters and he felt like he was 13 again, listening to his mother son and him not being able to do anything.
Except this time, he could.
In the quiet moments of vulnerability, you shared your fear with him, trusting him with your deepest secrets. And as Jay held you in his arms, he realized that he had become your safe haven, and his love for you blossomed in that tender embrace.
"Y/N, love, look at me?" Jay tilted your head up to him, grabbing your chin with his finger. Your tear stained eyes looked up at him with nothing but calm trust. You did trust him. And love him too.
As your eyes met, a sense of familiarity washed over you. It was as if your souls had known each other in a different time and place. In that profound connection, you realized that the fates had pulled their strings again love unfurled within you.
"I-I want to-"
"Do it."
That's all Jay needed, for him to crash into you and create a magnificent firework display, maybe only he could see all the sparkles and colours. Jay could taste sweet moonlight and honey on your lips. Blood rushed to his heart, which pumped it ever so fastly, it was about to explode out of his chest.
He craved this, he craved it as a battlefield craved blood or as a nightmare potion craved alkali. Ribbons of love and hope rushed out of his neck, where your arms wrapped, sinking into him, with pure trust and love.
Was this the love the poets spoke of?
Maybe not, Jay thought, but he didn't care anymore. This was the love he now wanted, he never wanted to let go of it.
Perhaps he never would.
Silence fell like darkness, as you pulled away slowly, still keeping your eyes close for a second. You couldn't believe what on earth had just happened. Jay couldn't either.
“That felt like a crime against humanity.” you broke the silence, with your serious statement.
The seriousness didn't last long, when Jay looked into your eyes, you looked into his, and the both of you burst out laughing.
"Was that your first kiss?" Jay teased, his fingers were threading through your hair, relaxing you.
"Yours too?" You retorted.
Amidst the moonlight, no one would have suspected that a healer and a king would be laughing raucously, looking at each other with nothing but love, something they never experienced before.
“I mean, I could do with some more of that.” you said shyly, feeling a blush creep up to your face.
"Why don't we then, darling?"
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Next chapter coming soon!
Tags: @amazzwon @heeseungshim @kvmariii @mwahvvis @hottiewifeyyyy @sacrificeatmeup @perfectnighttt @yawnzzhoon @yunabi436 + send an ask to be tagged!
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last-flight-of-fancy · 1 year ago
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hi hello i hope you don't mind but Special Interest Infodump Mode has been activated please keep hands and feet inside the vehicle at all times-
this explanation comes to us courtesy of Dark Road! You know, that cutesy little mobile game where literally the whole cast except the two protagonists dies. This is on brand bc the explanation has it's own fridge horror levels to it if i think too hard about it tbh.
So, worlds have hearts. We've known this since KH1, seen what happens to a world that loses its heart, and how they can be affected. It's rarely been expounded on beyond that however, aside vague allusions to the titular Kingdom Hearts being/harboring the Heart of All Worlds.
(which has. other implications now that i think about it but that's stepping into theorising territory. im sorry im trying really hard to stay on track honest)
fast forward to Dark Road, where we have a bunch of kids venturing out into the worlds for the first time, and as such have to have things explained to them (and thus the audience). NOW i will note here that KH looooooves unreliable narrators and characters imparting incorrect information without knowing it, so there is always the possibility that this could later turn out to be wrong, but currently I see no reason this would be the case and thus for now i feel safe in taking their words at face value unless otherwise contradicted.
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Why are there no people? Because each world is alive, and after the Keyblade War sundering THE World into MANY Worlds, each needed to recover and restore what was lost; life, time, movement.
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This bit here is important, bc as a result
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All of this is the direct result of the Keyblade War of old. Even after so much time, the bits of worlds are *still* recovering, and I do think there's something to be said about how like... the repition between worlds and their apparent stagnation often *stops* after Sora visits them. I don't think it's because Sora's special(tm), but rather just because of who he is; the Dark Road kids are told never to interfere, and as a result the worlds they visit that Sora also visits later are exactly the same to Sora as they were 80+ years before.
But when Sora visits the same world only a short time after his first visit, things CHANGE. Hercules' story moves forward, Simba is having a crisis about being king, Jack Skellington has learned his lesson about Christmas and is on to new shenanigans. And that's only in kh2! in kh3 we see Twilight Town fill with people, barren Olympus expands into a full town (and there's more there too with BBS and how the Wayfinder Trio may have been Olympus' start towards restoring itself completely, and Sora's later arrival more speeding things along)
my point here is *connections*, which is a consistant and overarching theme of the series. Empty worlds are baby worlds, still healing and restoring from being broken away from the rest, and what helps along that healing? Being connected to others.
Which is to say that the keyblade weilder's doctrine of 'do not interfere' while most certainly well-intentioned (as Dark Road also points out, one persons darkness is anothers light, and morality is not a solid truth across worlds, so interfering is risky at best and dangerous at worst), the flip side to this is that without being connected, without that ''interferance'', the world's restoration stagnates and struggles. It will still get there eventually (the Tangled world seems to be doing alright for example), but chances are it might've been a little easier/faster if someone had done a little interfering.
tldr keyblade war broke the worlds and reset them all to zero. As the worlds heal time stops until it's People finally pop back into existance and their stories can resume. And that's how the invisible crowds in early kh games are canon.
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4pfsukuna · 3 months ago
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could you write smth for long curly haired reader who isn't doing the best mentally so she isn't ty taking care of here hair and geto who has a crush on her offered to help her with it? i just know he'd be soft and gentle.hed even look up how to take care of curly hair to help make his girls (he wishes 😔) hair look the best it ever has (so she can ask him to keep doing her hair for her) i need him down bad 🙏🙏
omfg girl. GIRLLLLLL. This may have just healed my writers block🥹
Suguru Geto was the neighborhood heart-throb with his dark volumtious hair, midnight black eyes that were so dark they nearly looked purple his tall muscular frame (his thighs were drool worthy when he man spread) and his hands that could probably… no definitely palm your whole face. Between that warm honey coated laugh and the smooth calm tone he always heals in his voice he had every girl and woman in a 10 foot radius always swooning over him. Not that he noticed his eyes were always on you and when you werent around his mind was thinking if you ate today, how your day was, what new hobby you picked up what conditioner you used? The last one was a bit unhinged.
Last week he made a complete fool of himself when he seen you in the shared hall of your apartment and finally gathered up the courage to ask you on a date but it started off so well. 
“Hello sweetheart, how was work?” He grins down at you waiting for your brown eyes to meet his and he feels his heart stutter when you do with a soft smile.
“Hey Geto, it was alright, glad im off though im starving” you answer” as you fumble with your house keys pushing some of your long curls out of your face with a single finger.
He can feel his insides exploding, this was it you just put the ball in his court for a lay up or whatever silly basketball analogy Satoru used when he told him about you, now was his chance.
“Oh? Theres a new family owned restauraunt that just opened nothing to fancy. You should go” he blurts out faster than he has time to think about it and his tongue instantly feels heavy in his mouth. His jaw feels hinged and hes clenching his mouth and fist so tight he doesnt know what will break first his teeth or the skin on his palms from how bad his nails are digging in.
“Yeah, i think i will. Have a good night” you wave and hes so in his own head he doesnt realize the way the smile doesnt reach your eyes from either dissapointment of him not asking to go together or the long day of work is something he spends the next few days pondering about once he gets in his apartment.  The only thing hes glad about is that neither Shoko or Satoru was there to embarass him endlessly. He always had a smooth slightly arrogant demeanor but when it came to you words fealt heavy in his mouth, his hands got clammy and his eyes could not leave you what so ever.
The next time he sees you hes shocked. Its around midnight after a full day of listening to anxiety by meg thee stallion on repeat loud enough for him to hear it in his living room that he begins to get worried. Its when he sees you in a dark blue hoodie blanket going to take out your trash that he stops you.
“Hey sweetheart, i can take your trash for you. You shouldnt be taking it down this late anyway” he reaches for the bag not expecting you to pull away.
“N-nah its cool, i got it” you voice cracks and he finally looks at your eyes seeing them puffy and red which makes him fall into defense mode. 
“Who did it? Ill kill them” and that wasnt exactly what he wanted to say but fuck it its not like he didnt mean it and it earns a chuckle from you. Ok, finally he was doing something right.
“Everything and everyone” you pout and he feels his heart soften at the helpless look of defeat on your face. If only you knew you had a man that would actually burn the whole world down in front of you.
“I dont have enough matches for the whole world but if you give me enough time i can run to the store to buy more and burn the it all down for you” he rubs his chin earning a smile this time.
“Maybe not the whole world” you start with a slight giggle and his heart starts doing that weird thing again “It's just… my anxiety has been in overdrive this week and my job has rumors about letting some people go and i think its me since i've been talking about being home sick and my hair stylist canceled my appointment which ruined my week because not only does she not know when she’ll return but my hair products are nothing more but empty containers that won't get shipped here until next month. NEXT MONTH Geto, i cant just put anything in my hair and nobody here can help me” you pout feeling your bottom lip tremble as you fight back tears not wanting to cry infront of your neighbor you needed to hold onto some shred of dignity— hes already watching you in this snuggie with kuromi socks on.
Your face is quickly found in his chest as he pulled you in for a hug and you nearly start sobbing, its not your fault when people hugged you when you were sad it only made you cry more.
“And then i forgot to go grocery shopping” you finally break the hot tears running down you face you wait for him to push you off instead he just holds you tighter resting his chin on your head and rubbing your back. His embrace kinda felt nice and this was the only thing that felt right in your whole horrible week you were going to bask in it.
“I can help you with your hair” Geto blurts and you wipe your eyes to make sure you heard him correctly.
“You what?” Your raspy voice questions looking up at the man whos tall enough to nearly reach the hallway ceiling.
“I can help you with your hair” he repeats, using a thumb to wipe some of the tears from under your eyes, his palm cupping your cheek to keep you in place. Completely unbothered by the fact that any of your other neighbors could walk out and see you two like this he’s just happy to have you this close.
“No shade but what do you know about kinky curly hair, plus im not trying to let anyone experiment on my hair let alone a man” you cross your arms but you don’t pull away from his embrace which he selfishly enjoys.
“You think this long healthy hair comes from using a body wash and shampoo 2 in 1? I actually take pride in my 8 step hair routine” he tells you reaching up to pull his hair from its bun letting his long obsidian locs cascade down over his broad shoulders the coconut scent hitting your nose.
You stare at him for a second debating how wrong this could go letting this man play in your head. I mean worse case scenario it gets tangled and you big chop after your hair crisis(amongst the several youve had throughout life) youve always said ‘fuck it im going to just go bald’ and maybe you finally spoke it into existance. 
You see the hopefulness in his eyes and know this man is fully convinced he can do your hair and will spend all night convincing you if he has to and you're not sure if it's his resilience or your lack of sleep that has you finally crack and let out a long sigh.
“I promise i can do it just give me a second to toss this trash, grab my products and i'll be over in a second” he promises with an excited grin grabbing the trash from your hand and taking off down the hall.
“And thats not all… they were roommates” you gossip with him as he runs the detangler through your hair after parting it into four sections. He was on the last section before having your lean back to begin the wash process and maybe he did know a thing or two about hair. Gently guiding your head back to the running water you hear the CLICK of the bottle opening before you feel the cold substance on your scalp.
Your eyes instantly close when his fingers begin massaging your scalp his nails feeling so heavenly against your roots.
“Oh my God Sugur your fingers feel so good” you nearly moan and he has to stop for a second, pretending to look for your detangler comb to not lose his composure. he cant even help his pants getting slightly tighter, he was honestly so down bad for you. 
He rinses repeats detangles conditions detangles again with very little instruction from you and honestly it was because you had began dozing off quite a few times enjoying the physical touch of another human while he is the physical embodiment of happy to be here.
He notices the song you had on repeat is also off instead choosing Sade to listen to which was alot more calmer. Its when he begins humming along that your brows scrunch and he panics assuming that hes hurting you.
“What you know about Sade?” Youre soft voice pokes making him chuckle and damn does he have a nice laugh.
“Im a man of culture” he pokes your temple and you jokingly pretend to attempt to bite his finger your goofyness slipping out easily around him. “Besides im washing your hair obviously im very cultured” he adds in and you cant argue there.
An hour later you find yourself rambling about all your favorite things favorite music, hobbies and embarassing stories of you from the fourth grade which he counters of embarassing stories of him in high school with him and his best friend satoru who he promises to introduce you to.
“And i'll section the braids up here into smaller parts So if you want a middle part or side part you have options” he tells you absentmindedly and you crain your head back to make direct eye contact but he gently grabs the side of your neck using his thumb to push your head forward.
“You'll get neck pain if you do that sweetheart” he commands softly in a way that makes your spine tingle and you rest your head against his large thigh.
“Have you done this before?” You ask your mind instantly floating to another woman and while there weren't too many girls that looked like you in japan with a hair texture like yours he was entirely too good to never have practiced this once.
“Yes” he answers honestly and you force yourself to push down the thoughts that make your stomach drop. “Though they usually fall asleep by the time i get to conditioning their hair”
And it's like you can hear the record scratch and the peaceful bliss you're in ends abruptly.
“So it's nice having someone to talk to up until the end” he tells you before finishing a braid and you feel it fall mid back before he shuffles around. There's a bright light gleaming on the side of your face and you turn slightly to see a picture of twin girls, one with dark hair and one with light brown, almost blonde hair.
“They're so cute, how old are they?” you ask taking the phone in your hands to get a better look as he swipes showing different clips from what looks like a trip to the aquarium.
“11, thats mimiko and nanako usually they are here with me but they are with uncle Satoru for the summer making his pockets hurt as they say and spending time with their little cousin megumi” he tells you before he stops sliding landing on a picture of him satoru the twins and a dark spikey haired little boy that looks angry at Satoru.
“He looks like he absolutely hates satoru” you giggle resting your head back on his thigh which earns a laugh from him.
“Despises him, actually thinks Satoru is so annoying but he loves him… deep deep deep down inside his tiny little body since he adopted him. We knew his dad… real piece of shit actually” Suguru admits using a bit more force on your hair, its not painful but you could tell he hated Megumi's dad more than Megumi hated Satoru. 
“You must've had them really young” you pry slightly which he snorts at before using the comb to detangle a section of your hair and adding in more product. 
“No, I met them at an old job. They were in a bad environment and I took them in. I just couldn’t watch them go through that horrible system it's not a place for innocent little girls” he tells you his touch becoming so featherlite you almost forget he's doing your hair 
“Yeah it makes sense you are such a girl dad. Definitely dilf material” you ramble going back to look at the pictures zooming in on how happy the girls look.
His eyes widen and breath gets caught in his throat he nearly has to stop what he's doing to focus on you again.
“Dilf? At Least take me out to dinner first”he jokes trying to calm his heart before you lean your head back once more making eye contact with him.
“How about the new family owned restaurant you told me about? You could even bring the girls I’d love to meet them” you smile at him watching the blush build on his face.
“R-really?” He stutters, not expecting you to ask him out on a date… shit was it a date?
“Yeah they seem to play an important role in your life and I need to make a good impression on them as well… I mean unless I’ve been taking your staring, heated looks and your kind offer to wash my hair the wrong way?” You tease with a sly smirk and he can feel the flush running through his entire body.
“Oh so you've just been letting me embarrass myself in front of you… this entire time” he exaggerates, holding a hand over his mouth in faux shock.
“I thought it was cute” you shrug watching his reactions before he tilts your head back forward using neck cramps as an excuse.
“Hey suguru?” You yawn, leaning your head back against his thigh and it was just the perfect head rest as his fingers began massaging through your scalp again.
“Yes sweetheart?” He asks slowing down for a second and you begin enjoying, a bit too much, the way he sounds calling you that.
“Thank you for washing my hair and styling it” you smile closing your eyes and shoulders dropping slightly and he grins at the signs of you falling asleep. He's seen it too often with the twins but he had to admit he may have been enjoying this more than you, acts of service being his love language that much was clear.
“Anything for you” 
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nomoreusername · 4 months ago
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Barely Holding On
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Pairing:Newt x female reader
Summary:When Newt finds you hurting yourself he goes from angry to looking after and comforting you.
⚠️ Self harm ⚠️
I don't feel normal. I don't feel like I can do as much as anyone else. I don't feel good enough. I just feel so empty, so absolutely worthless. It's as though I'm a ticking time bomb ready to explode and hurt everything around me at any moment.
I don't want to do that. I don't want to be frustrated all the time. I don't want to always wonder if there's something particular messed up in my head. I just want everything to finally feel alright. Not even good. Just normal. Just okay.
I never do. Sure. Sometimes I feel nonchalant or happy when something good happens, but it never lasts.
I didn't bother to try to get clean. Nobody even notices so it doesn't matter anyway. Not only that but when they heal they itch until all I can think about is the cuts littering my skin.
I was supposed to be hanging out with Chuck. I said I would spend Greenie night with him. I want to. I do. I do want to be out there with him, with the Gladers, with my few friends, having a carefree time. I thought I would be able to.
I wasn't. I barely got halfway through the evening before my head kept reminding me that there's a knife waiting for me back under my cot.
"I don't feel very good,"I told him. It isn't even a lie. If I don't cut in the next few minutes, I'm going to start hyperventilating. I need it. I just do. I don't want to, but if I don't get it everything will be ruined.
"But you said-"
"I'll see you tomorrow. Probably. I have to leave though,"I rushed out, standing up before he could actually question me. Resisting the urge to sprint, I kept my hands in my pockets as I walked to my hut. Even though every single foot feels like a million miles I can't be suspicious. I can't, I can't, I can't.
With my heart racing inside of my chest, I didn't dare let my body weigh itself down. My feet need to move. Every part of me needs to move. Every part of me is frozen while also being on autopilot. Absolutely none of it makes sense, but it also does. It does to me. To my messed up brain, all of this is logical.
Bursting into my hut, I was shaking as I slammed the door shut. Ignoring the way I could hardly see through the tears clouding my vision or maybe too messed up to actually notice, I forced my feet one after the other to my cot.
Leaning over, I didn't even have to look to know exactly where the knife was placed. Gripping the handle firmly, I pulled it out from its hidden in plain sight place. You can't really see it when you're in my room, but it's always there. Once you know it is, it takes up more space than any other object, even me.
As I held it the tears just seemed to stop. Everything inside of me stopped. Something in me went cold, almost dark. Numb. It was just numb.
Pulling up my sleeves, I revealed the rows of growing cuts and scars. It started monthly, but now it seems to grow daily. It's taken over my life. Sometimes I realize that, but when I'm doing it some part of me doesn't know anything at all.
Dragging it across one of the few areas that was untouched by darkness, I watched as the blood dripped down my skin. It's as though this is all happening in third person, as if it's not even me doing this anymore.
The sting takes longer to set in now. I think I'm adjusting to the pain or something. That means I either have to either cut longer or deeper. Not enough to die. I don't want to die. I just need my mind to calm down. That's all this is. This is my only hope left of actually holding on.
As I crossed over a fresh cut I winced. Realizing that was the ticket to pain, I went over that spot again and again. By now the shouts of the Gladers and yells of happiness were tuned out. Everything is. Everything but the pain and the blood.
Tears started to fall as the self loathing came back. I could be out there, fulfilling my promise. Instead, I've locked myself in here to cut. It's so messed up. It's all wrong. I'm wrong. Wrong, wrong, wrong!
I hate this. I hate this, but it's the only way to keep stable. It's killing every part of me, but if I don't do this I'll genuinely lose it. I can't lose it. I can't. Not here. This is better than the alternatives. It's better, and it's fine, and nobody will know.
"Y/N?"Newt asked, knocking on my door. As I was brought back to reality I slowly looked at the damage.
It had fallen down my arms, getting crimson drops on my pants. There were blood splatters on the ground. My actual wrist was more of a mess than my head. You could hardly see my skin through all the blood.
"Y/N?"
"Don't come in,"I choked out, letting the knife clank to the floor.
"Are you okay?"
"Go away,"was all I could get out as I shoved it as far under my bed as possible. Frantically tugging my sleeves up, I was shaking as the blood dripped through. Wiping my eyes, I desperately looked around for something to fix it. Something to cover the disaster.
"Are you okay-"
"Leave me alone!"I demanded, my voice unsteady and unsure.
"What's happeni-"
"Leave!"I screamed louder, attempting to wipe my sleeves against my pants only to get the stain to spread. Sitting back on my bed, I kept pathetically continuing the act anyways, running out of options.
"I'm coming in-"
"No!"
Ignoring my protests, he opened my door to see me sitting there, my feet over the edge of the bed and my long sleeves stained with blood. As he just stood there in shock the door closed on his own behind him, leaving us there with nothing but my self destruction.
"I-I can't-"
"What is wrong with you?"He asked slowly, the situation seeming to sink in.
"I-I don't-"
"No seriously? What is wrong with you? You're supposed to be out there, with everyone? How are you in here? How?"
"I didn't mean-I'm sor-"
"No! How could you?! I have asked if you are okay! I have been worried about you, and you always say you're fine! Every! Damn! Time!"
With the tears streaking my face, I unconsciously dug my nails into the little bit of my exposed skin, ripping into the cuts.
"You've said you're okay! You said everything was fine but you're in here doing this! For how long?! How bloody long?!"
With sobs leaving the back of my throat, my nails dug deeper into my fresh wound as I started shaking. This wasn't what I wanted. It wasn't.
"Do you think this is fine?! Do you think this is okay?! Do you think it's fine to sit in the dark and cut yourself?! Do you?!"
Frantically shaking my head, I cried harder as I sputtered out weak apologies. Despite this I seemed physically incapable of pulling my nails from my cuts. I just clawed at myself as all the emotions hit me like a tidal wave.
"I'm sorry, love,"He said gently, everything about him suddenly seeming soft. Mumbling incoherent things, I buried my face in my hands. "It's okay. It's okay,"He coaxed, sitting in front of me. Cautiously taking my hands, he pulled them away from him and into his.
"I'm sorry,"I got out.
"It's okay. I promise. I'm not really mad at you. I just didn't expect this. I didn't know you were struggling this badly."
"I'm sorry,"I repeated, physically incapable of saying anything else.
"I'm not angry. I just didn't know you were doing this. I didn't know you were feeling this bad, and I panicked. I love you. I really do,"He whispered.
"I didn't know what else to do. Every part of me feels wrong. Something inside of me is broken, Newt. Truly broken,"I admitted through shaky breaths.
"You aren't broken, Y/N. You're hurting, but you aren't broken. You are full of good. You're full of amazing things, and I'm sorry you can't see that. I'm sorry you thought this was your only way to feel okay,"He whispered, lacing his fingers through mine.
"I don't want to be this way. I don't, but it seems to be all I know. In only a few months, this became everything that I am,"I admitted.
"It isn't all you are though. Just because you're doing something you shouldn't, just because you found something negative and mistook it for coping, doesn't mean it's everything that you are. You are an incredible human who has done nothing but make this place better. There's a reason Chuck was so excited to hang out with you tonight. There's a reason Minho likes to stop and say hi to you before he leaves. There's a reason I love you. You're brilliant, and you deserve better than what you're giving yourself,"He whispered, cupping my face. Wiping my tears away, he looked at me with nothing less than sympathy, undeniable pain, and pure love.
"I never thought it would get this far,"I murmured.
"I'm sure you didn't. That doesn't mean we won't figure it out though,"He coaxed, a bittersweet smile on his lips.
"Every part of me is exhausted. I'm just so drained,"I admitted. Still wiping my tears, he nodded in understanding.
"Then, we'll sleep it off right now. We're gonna go to sleep, I'm gonna hold you, and we'll figure it all out in the morning. Okay?"
"Yes. Okay,"I agreed.
With me still in his arms, we laid down. Pulling my sleeve up, he took my one without the new injuries and pressed his lips to my scars. Shutting my eyes, I let the tears fall down my face as he kissed the ruined parts of me.
"I'll love you forever. I've loved you for so long, and I love you now. No matter how you may see yourself, I will always see you as the most amazing person, the kindest human, and the most beautiful girl in the world,"He whispered.
Cuddling up as close as I could without closing my arms, I rested my head on his chest. Kissing my temple, he whispered sweet nothings until I dozed off.
♡ - - - ♡
When I woke up the next morning it was in Newt's arms. He had still been carefully holding me. He had been wide awake, looking after me.
We left before anyone could see. He snuck me into the Med-hut so he could fix me up. He wiped my cuts, old and new. He kissed my skin and told me it would be okay. He disinfected my arms and wrapped them in bandages.
The thing that stuck out most was that he had given me his bracelets. He told me that whenever I thought I needed to hurt myself but couldn't find him, to look at these and remember that I will never be alone. He made sure they would stay.
He understandably hadn't left me alone today. He was by my side, making sure I wasn't a current danger to myself. He didn't do anything big which only made me more grateful for him. He kept a subtle eye on me, smiling whenever he met my gaze, holding my hand when he was able to, and whispering reassuring words in my ear.
Alby needed him for a moment. Something about a Second-in-command duty.
"Will you be okay for a minute, love?"He checked.
"I will,"I promised.
"Okay. I'll be back soon,"He promised, kissing my temple before going to see what he needed.
Getting back to planting the seeds, I made sure the dirt was firmly packed.
"It seems like he's just obsessed with you today,"Someone drew out. Looking up, I saw James. He wasn't known for kind words so needless to say him speaking to me randomly was a red flag.
"He's just being loving,"I said quickly, about to chew the inside of my cheek before catching myself. Looking at the bracelets, I smiled for a second.
"His bracelets, huh?"
"Yep. They were just a gift,"I muttered, standing up so that he was no longer towering over me.
"Really? Let me see?"
"No!"I said quickly as he grabbed my wrist. Wincing at the contact his hand made, I held it to my chest as a sound of pain left my mouth. While it was only for a second, it was enough for him to notice. That and I had almost yelled, catching some nearby bystanders attention.
"Oh, I get it,"He smirked.
"Leave me alone,"I demanded.
"He wants to make sure you don't hurt yourself, doesn't he?"He guessed, trying to pull the bracelet off again. Keeping my arms pressed to my sides, I repeated for him to just leave me alone as I willed myself not to cry in front of everyone. I can't. I won't.
"Awe. You gonna go hurt yourself again?"
"What do you think you're doing?"a familiar and now cold voice asked. Looking back, I saw Newt walking up before standing beside me, his eyes narrowed and arms crossed over his chest.
"Chill. I was just joking,"He defended, his hands in his air.
"No. That was you being a prick. Nothing more, nothing less,"He corrected.
"But-"
"Come with me. Now,"He demanded, his voice calm yet furious.
"I didn't-"
"Now,"He repeated even firmer. Realizing there was no way out of it, he followed Newt past the gardens. Looking back, he made sure he was still going. When he was, he led him in front of the pit. "In, now,"He commanded, opening one of them and gesturing him inside.
"But-"
"Did I say it was up for debate? Get inside. Right. Now,"He repeated.
Once again realizing he couldn't actually get out of punishment, he hopped inside, his head down and face hidden in shame. The second he hit the ground he slammed it shut and tied it tighter than I think it's ever been. Even from here, I could see his jaw clenched.
When he was sure it was alright he walked away, his head held high. Standing beside me again, he grabbed my hand as if nothing happened.
"Come on. Let's go on lunch,"He suggested. Nodding my head, I intertwined our fingers as I kept myself pressed against him, ignoring the way my face heated up.
Heading over to the kitchen, he asked Fry if we could get our food early. With a smile and no questions, he served us, giving a polite nod.
Taking both the bowls, he led me a little bit into the Deadheads. By now everyone was back to their previous activities, not wanting to pry on whatever that was.
Sitting beside him, I rested my head on his shoulder as he handed me my bowl. Knowing that all I wanted right now was silence and his company, he let us do nothing but eat and savor the others presence, exactly the way I needed.
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Note
Does pup ever have panic attacks? Has Ghost ever found them in the middle of one? If so, how does he react or help?
-🐛 anon
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Y'all deserve a short, so here you go 💕
Red.
Your eyes couldn't shift from the frayed red lines of the scratches left on Ghost's arm. He'd been passing by the door just as you'd left the bathroom, but as usual he moved so quietly he'd startled you. You'd reacted before you could think to calm yourself, grabbing him and digging your claw like nails in while preparing to grab his neck with your other hand - however you hadn't followed through once you realised that it was just him.
"Pup," Ghost said calmly, speaking through his teeth to combat the stinging pain.
You finally looked up and met his eyes, whimpering as you wrung your hands together like sodden cloths. You couldn't believe you'd hurt him. For once you weren't merely concerned with what manner of punishment you'd be recieving for your transgression, you were already punishing yourself, tears rolling hotly down your cheeks. Ghost never ever hurt or punished you, he always gave you so much praise and encouragment, and now you'd turned around and bitten the hand that had so generously fed.
No words could come to you. You breathed low, feeling like you were scraping out what little oxygen you could from your belly, and felt your eyes expand all the while. The air around you turned to lead.
"Pup, it's ok. You just got a fright, didn't you?" Ghost murmured. "Hold on, just let me deal with this..."
You didn't need to be told to hold on. Every single little cell in your body had ground to a halt, infected with cold dread as you replayed the scratch over and over and over again in your mind. A slight tremble built like an earthquake, the chill stroking its way up your spine until it manifested into aching shivers.
"C'mon now, it's alright. Easy, Pup...Easy."
You barely realised Ghost had come back. He held his hands up placatingly and tried to approach you as slow as he could, taking the smallest steps, likely trying to avoid being scratched again you thought. Your ears twitched when he got closer, but still you were stuck in place. You were a deer facing down a shadow in the forest, twitching and breathing like those might be your last movements.
"That's it, easy. Easy now," Ghost soothes, finally reaching you.
You release a breath you didn't know you were holding when he wraps his arms around you. Your eyes close and you sob, its like a wailing spectre has been unleashed from its tomb. You scream out and wrap yourself around him, losing your surroundings as you register that not only have you not been reprimanded for that terrible show of violence, but Ghost still wants to care for you. Of course he does.
"It's alright," Ghost whispers, sluggishly marching you through to the living room. "Shh...shh now. No tears. You're safe with me - i know you didn't mean it. There's no punishment. Shhh."
Before you knew it you were sprawled on the couch, head buried in thick muscle and spiced citrus. He petted your head and murmured sweet comoforts, shushing you and letting the worst of the storm pass before he pulled your head from his chest and made you face him.
Tears continued to flow, but they rolled down your cheeks slower now. His bright eyes captured yours and forced you to keep your head up, frowning when your lip trembeled.
"You're ok, darlin'. What're you cryin' so hard for, huh?"
You ripped your gaze from him and to the hand that was stroking your cheek, purposefully looking at the messily applied bandage. Staring at the flecks of red. You did that. It was all your fault. Dangerous. Bad.
Ghost chuckled faintly and dismissed another tear, smoothing his thumb over your face again. The trail it left burned fiery on your flesh.
"You're not bad and you're not a danger to me," Ghost tutted. "You made a mistake, silly Pup. C'mere."
He pulled you to him again and rubbed smooth circles in your back, a healing spell that stopped the last of your wracking breaths. His warmth bled into you and soon enough calm reset the blaring alarms in your head and turned out all the bad thoughts. You sighed out in relief and hiccupped softly, registering your wet eyelashes sloppily flicking against your irritated skin.
"Don't...w-want to hurt you," you whined.
"I know. You're my good Pup," he said simply.
"But I did," you said, biting your lip when you caught sight of the bandage again.
Ghost sighed and turned your head away from it, playfully running his hands through your hair and ears.
"Tis' but a scratch," he said in a silly voice, eyes crinkling when you let out a gentle laugh. "You ever seen that movie?"
"Movie?" you questioned, tilting your head.
Ghost snorted and shook his head.
"Holy Grail - One of Soap's favourites," he said, holding his smile. "C'mon, we'll put it on. He'll be your best friend if you do those stupid quotes with 'im."
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velvet4510 · 4 months ago
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Apparently I’m in the mood for expressing an MCU hot take at this hour, so here goes:
Steve going back in time was NOT a betrayal of his and Bucky’s friendship.
Look, at first glance, I get why Steve’s Endgame ending feels like it’s going against “I’m with you to the end of the line.” Even I had my reservations about it for a while, once my Steggy-shipping heart calmed down from its thrilled palpitations when I first watched the film.
But after giving it a lot of thought, I think in the end, it was for the best that Steve and Bucky went their separate ways, and here’s why.
Once they reunited in the present day, Steve and Bucky’s relationship became extremely codependent, and their entire arc was learning to grow out of that.
We see in Civil War especially how far Steve was willing to go to protect Bucky, and how Bucky became fully dependent on Steve. And remember that Steve had just lost Peggy before finding Bucky again, meaning that Bucky was all he had left of his former 1940s life. The fact that he fought so hard for Bucky is symbolic for his arc, far beyond their friendship. Of course he did it because he loved Bucky, that’s never in doubt. But I also think that he felt an equally strong love for what Bucky represented, which is the life he lost. His clinging to Bucky already showed us that he was unable to truly let go of the 1940s, though he tried. He tried to believe he had let go - Age of Ultron is all about him trying - but Civil War makes it clear that he will never truly belong to the present day.
Same goes for Bucky. Steve was his only reminder of his true self, of who he used to be, of the life he lost. He loved Steve himself, of course, but he also clung to Steve because Steve also represented something beyond just their friendship; he represented the hope for Bucky’s soul. That he was not HYDRA’s monster anymore, that he had a chance of living life as himself again.
The ending of Civil War set the two of them on the path that always inevitably led to what we got from Endgame. Steve and Bucky finally loosened their metaphorical grip on each other; Bucky chose to turn himself over to Wakanda, and Steve let him go. They both acknowledged that Bucky’s need for healing went far beyond Steve. While Steve was his starting point, Steve’s faith the thing that gave him hope for himself, Bucky needed far more work on himself than Steve alone could provide. So they started taking baby steps away from their codependency; Bucky moved to Wakanda and Steve continued with the Avengers. Fans who talk and act as though Steve and Bucky’s lives fully and completely revolve around each other, and each other ONLY, clearly have not actually watched the movies critically.
The narrative always acknowledged that Steve and Bucky’s codependency was not healthy, and that as much as they loved each other, they needed to learn to be their own people, and not be defined only through each other’s eyes.
Which brings us to Endgame. Perhaps the most significant detail about Steve’s final choice is that he canonically told Bucky about it ahead of time. Bucky confirmed this verbally in TFATWS. Steve did NOT return to the 1940s on short notice; he let Bucky know about it. And, on the other side of the same coin, the exact details of this conversation are private. For all we know, Steve could’ve asked Bucky to come with him, to also seize a chance at getting back the life he lost. Steve could’ve ensured that Bucky was alright with this, and if Bucky really wasn’t ready to lose his support, then he wouldn’t go. All of these are very in-character possibilities for Steve, and there is NOTHING whatsover in canon that states that he didn’t say these things.
But what happened? Bucky let him go. Bucky told Steve to go live his dream, to go be with the love of his life. Bucky was alright with it. (Remember Bucky knew from the start how important Peggy was to Steve. He was a first-hand witness to Peggy declaring Steve “the right partner.” He knew what this chance at time travel meant for Steve.) And by letting him go, Bucky chose to stay in the present. Would he have been able to do this in Civil War? No, and that’s because since then, he grew. They grew. They got to a place where the cords of codependency were finally cut, where they both knew they could live their own lives and not rely on each other to keep one another upright. They finally knew what paths they wanted to follow to live their fullest lives, and those paths were not the same one. Steve embraced a future in the past, while Bucky embraced the present moment. In other words, they finally reached “the end of the line.”
Oh, and I find it absolutely hilarious that some people are like “how dare he retire with Peggy while Bucky is out there being tortured in the 40s?” Steve made a branched timeline when he returned to Peggy, meaning no matter what he did from then on, the Sacred Timeline wouldn’t change. And he knew that. And there is not a single piece of text to be found anywhere in canon that tells us that he didn’t immediately tell Peggy that HYDRA was still around and that they didn’t team up, take HYDRA down, and rescue Bucky before New Year’s 1950. So that argument is ridiculous.
Also, did Steve “leave Bucky alone,” as many have said? Uhhh, NO. We see this in TFATWS.
After Steve left, Bucky was not alone. He had Sam, aka a professional counselor. He had tons of friends in Wakanda, and those friendships were close enough that he could successfully request a new suit for Sam on a whim. And Sam told him exactly what he’d been needing to hear for so long: “It doesn’t matter what Steve thought. You gotta stop looking to other people to tell you who you are.”
On top of that, as we see at the end of the show, Bucky now has an entire family: he’s bonding with Sarah (who knows what that might lead to), and he’s another uncle to AJ and Cass, and he’s bringing cake to the cookout and the arm that used to be a killing weapon, he now uses as a plaything for the children to dangle from. The entire community has welcomed him as one of their own.
Steve and Bucky’s story is a beautiful one because it shows how true friends help guide you to where you need to be in life, and their support sets you on the path to being your best and fullest self. The health of Bucky and Steve’s friendship was destroyed by their shared trauma of being taken from their normal lives in the 1940s, and they clung to each other for emotional survival. Then, gradually, they helped each other get back on their own two feet, and when the time came, they learned to let each other go, because they loved each other so much.
In other words, the finale of Endgame was the natural and inevitable endpoint for their story arc. If it ended with them still together, and clinging on to each other, then what would be the point? That would just be character regression for both of them. But instead, the story concludes with both of them finally free from the codependency, leaving only their love for each other, which they will always carry with them.
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aonungyoufuck · 2 years ago
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Runaway {pt 3}
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Synopsys: You get a visit from Kiri and Rotxo, Ronal comes to see you. Ao’nung’s in trouble and you finally get to leave the marui for a bit. 
Parts: one , two , Four
DNI/BYF
“Wakey wakey” 
You groaned as the hard light of day reached your eyes. The only pain from your head as you felt numbness on your arm. 
“Rotxo i told you not to wake them like that” You heard Kiri say as she lifted your head up to get a drink of water. 
“It’s midday. They weren’t going to wake up if i didn't do anything” 
You could only roll your eyes. Head throbbing as last night's nightmare hit you. “Is everyone alright?”
“Alive? Yes. Alright no”
“What?”
“Rotxo!” 
He could only laugh as Kiri Slapped him “he means. Ao’nung’s in trouble for ‘being hostile’ with his mother”
“He was hostile? His mom?” you asked, feeling your chest. The now dried bandages proof that they have changed, if but the slightest. 
“Aside that. Everyone is well. Your parents said they’ll be coming to see you later” 
You gave Kiri a knowing look. One you were sure if you had been better. She would hit you too. 
“Come Sit down. I want to know of your days”
You watched as the two settled. Your eyes darting outside to peak a little not that you could head out if that. 
“Well your Brothers are staying out of trouble. As much as they can, that is. I think your Father has been doing well? He usually is around your mother or our Olo’eyktan.” Rotxo explained stealing your now empty cup of water.
Kiri watched as you groaned before seeing you plop back down. “Well what’s the matter now?
“I want to try to move, I swear my tails going to fall off if i remain sitting here any longer” you spoke kicking your legs. “Not like i cant i know but im suppose to be resting”
“And you are”
All three of you turned. Frozen in place as you watched Ronal come into your pod. 
“I suppose its been enough days of bed rest that you could move but the slightest.” Ronal watched the other two stand up straight beside you “You Two wait outside. Let me check on Y/n’s Wound” 
The two nodded bidding their goodbye’s for now before leaving 
“Come Sit up let me see”
You followed orders. Hearing the disgusting sound of cloth leaving flesh and took a whiff of the smell of healing skin. But you looked down. The wound looked closed. Almost but maybe the discharge of liquid and old paste. You felt her hit your head 
“It seem’s It is healing well. Any pain inside?” 
“Slight discomfort when I breathe in.” 
“Come take a deep breathe out” 
And you did. No pain but the smallest of sounds of gurgling “it seems inside needs more time. But you are well, Thank Eywa for that”
“I uh..” you muttered trying to find the right words “ i was wanting to ask you something Tsahik” 
“And that would be?”
“I wanted to know if there is anything i could do for you as a thank you. Help you in any way. Not Tsakarem But if i can help with your delivery, if any at all other help. I'm more than willing for. For helping me, and for helping my family” You asked closing your eyes and bowing your head a little. 
“ I think you are foolish to ask me such a thing. However.. As you know i only have Tsireya to fall back on.” She explained removing the rags and just applying a cream substance on your flesh. “I will take up your offer however”  
“Really?”
“Not Tsakarem. But I will teach you to help me when the time comes. And its coming by soon” She patted down the substance watching your reaction of a slight twitch of pain. “Now come, Try and stand up without using your arms too much alright?” 
You nodded. Relying on your legs to push you up. Ronal standing beside you gently tugging you up without moving your arms. Your Tail pushing yourself as well when you felt like you were about to fall. 
“You are free to move around. Be careful outside tho and make sure not to submerge this wound. Ill have Tsireya come by later to Fix up the Marui so you are free to roam about it much better”
“Thank you” You nodded flicking your fingers and extending them towards her. “And Ao’nung?”
“He is dealing with his punishment. I am not at all to please with his attitude as of late” 
You could only stand there. Watching her go. Didn't dare to ask further. This was a good amount of interaction that you didn't want to ruin with pestering and making her angry.
You began to move. Feeling a shooting pain go up your spine from laying down for a long time. Preparing yourself you went out of the marui. 
“So?”
“So what?” you spoke, rubbing your eyes. Getting use to day light. 
“So did you get a knot on your tail?” 
You didn't need to look to hear the hard ‘SMACK’ to the back of Rotxo’s head. 
“No. luckily for i. Eywa has blessed me with Ronal’s grace” You spoke squinting your eyes. Looking at them finally in light. It was nice to feel the warmth surrounding you. Ignoring the throbbing of your arm just hanging by the side. 
“So I take it you cant move too much right?” Kiri asked you. For once you were glad to talk to her more one on one. It was nice to be able to talk freely to your siblings Rather than having to constantly watch over them. Making sure they dont get in trouble and Mostly being their third Parent. 
Not that you minded it. You loved watching over them. Mostly watching over the grave they dig when they try explaining to your parents why they did what they did. It was your source of entertainment. 
“No. Or i would rather Face Eywa first before feeling Ronal’s rage if i open my wound up at all” 
You could only watch the two as they guided you towards the sand. You hadn’t realized how cold you were until you felt the sand warm up your feet. It felt nice to be touched by the sun. The air and the mist of the ocean right near you. 
“So…not to have been listening in on your conversation. But Your helping Tashik?”
You squinted. You knew That Rotxo wouldn’t have acted alone. So you ever so slightly gave kiri a side eye as she twirled her thumbs together. 
“Yes. If you must know i just want to help out as much as i can”
“Sure”
“And what is that suppose to mean Kiri?” 
You watched as the two just avoided your eyes. Watching as the two escaped to the waves of the water. Where you could not follow. 
“Y/n? What are you doing out here?”
You turned, Even if you didnt need to. You knew that voice after the past few nights. 
“Ao’nung. So nice to see you out in daylight” watching him rub the back of his neck as he looked out to see “but aren’t you suppose to be dealing with a ‘punishment’ or something of that sort?”
“Are you going to tell on me?”
“No whatever will i get from that?”
There was silence. The ambience of the living creature that was your home filling your ears. 
“Its uh” You turned to look at him watching as he tried to find the right words. “Nice er.. Good to see you out of bed you know?”
“Oh were you worried about me?”
“Nevermind go back to bed” Letting out the faintest of laugh. It was nice to be alive. At the expense at jokes of you from either Ao’nung or your brothers. 
“You better get going before they figure you are gone” you explained. Watching as he let out a groan. “Don’t worry we’ll talk once again. Hopefully on much better terms and when one isnt nearly dying and the other is in trouble” 
He nodded. Not even bothering to give you a goodbye as he headed off. Staying still. Feeling the breeze, Eywa had really blessed you, you began to think. Perhaps laying down on the sand wouldn’t be so bad. And that you did. Feeling her breathe. Hear heartbeat at one with you, this is what kiri had once told you about. And at peace in her arms and by her, you fell asleep. 
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Gasping, choking on your own airway as you watched your brother’s dive. You didnt know when you got hit but you had gotten hit. Feeling your heartbeat increase. It pained you, the stinging feeling of the water on your now open chest. You Felt the entirety of the people around you. The chaos of the sky people above you. It pained you hurt you to even hold your breathe. And you wanted to scream when you felt yourself be tugged up to the surface. 
“Y/n?”
“Shit!” 
You couldn’t look or see, Everything had hurt so much but you could feel Tsireya hold your hand as you felt the surface of the water drag. You couldn't open your eyes. for the blinding pain wouldn't let you. 
“Is” it even pained to talk. To whisper to even breathe and yet you needed to know. Eywa Please have mercy on you. “Is Neteyam safe?” is all you could ask. For had it not been for you. It surely would have been him.
“I am here. I am here sister” 
You couldn’t really see. You just saw the blurriness but you could faintly see them.
Peace. And all you heard was your name being called repeatedly. You could almost hear the faintest of heart beats aligned with your own 
“y/n!”
“Y/n!”
“Y/n?” 
“Is it dead?” 
“Spider!” 
You took in a sharper inhale than you had intended. The Tide had come in and wet your legs but finally you had woken up. “What?”
“Your lucky that the water didnt take you out into the open sea” Spider commented. It wasn’t eclipse But you could tell you had been out here for some time. 
“Did no one bother to wake me up beforehand?”
“To be honest. Once i headed out with Rotxo i kinda forgot about you”
“Charmed” is all you could comment back. Sitting back up before standing fully. You had re-lived your near death. And you were ever so happy to be awake and See everyone alive and well. “I better get back to the pod. Im sure i only have maybe a few more treatments and ill be good as new” you pondered
There was a minor pain for sure and maybe more than two. But you were optimistic on the outcome. 
You couldn’t focus on what your siblings were saying. Not one bit. Too deep in thought. 
“Right Y/n?”
“Huh?” finally looking up you noticed Ao’nung in the pod alongside all of you. Spear in hand a basket of baked fish in another. 
“Ao’nung said he could be here. But we would like some time alone as family. Right Y/n?”
You silently rolled your eyes. “No Ao’nung is right. This is his mothers. Pod as well you know?”
Lo’ak could only huff and roll his eyes. Not that he didn't like Ao’nung. But he had hoped to have time with his family. Although probably just to talk about his progress with Tsireya. Of which you could just Roll your eyes at. 
“Fine But i am not at all too happy with you sleeping here with Y/n”
“You make it sound like we did more than sleeping”
Of which your tail smacked him at his knees 
“Will you two cut it out. Gimme that i'm starving”
Neteyam laughed besides you. “Figures as much. You were baking out in the sun for a long time” 
You didnt even bother to bite back. Too tired. Too exhausted. Watching as the rest of your siblings sat down around you Ao’nung besides you. You were sure at this moment. You looked like you were near death too. 
“Here let me fix your hair. Pretty sure you have some sand in here” Kiri spoke standing up as she started to let your hair go and shake it out. 
You could only continue to eat. Listening to their small talk. Lo’ak speaking to Ao’nung about how he would go about asking his parents to allow him to court Tsireya. You didnt particularly know why you had suddenly gotten so tired. Maybe it was Kiri massaging your head? The small hum of your siblings talking. Maybe Tuk muttered her song cord as she looked at the new bead added? 
You didn't know. But you just  let your eyes falter. Didn't even realize but you had laid your head on Ao’nungs shoulder. As sleep finally took you away once again.
---------
(oops forgot the tag list)
@simp-erformarvelwomen
@luvlykrispy
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staytinyville · 6 months ago
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Stay Alive (44)
BTS poly!ot7 x Reader
Magical Creatures AU
Series Masterlist
Warnings: none
A/N NOT BETA. Y'all I am trying my best to literally finish up the last four chapters. I just want to finally finish something lmao. But Just to let you know I am so happy to reach this part and get to the ending. As well as start new fics within this world. I quite like it honestly.
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There was a melancholic feeling within your chest that made you ponder about the actual aspect of the world you were in. It was beautiful–something you could only ever think of as a utopia for the world you actually came from. It was wondrous, excelled in places the human world could never reach. But just like there were people who wanted more in that world–they were much worse here.
You watched as the creatures who were able to fly travel around in the sky–dragons flapping their wings or fearies swerving their way through buildings, had you astounded. Things you thought were made believe in stories or movies were in front of your eyes. It was a childish wonder you seemed to have within you that caused those feelings. 
However the more you thought about what brought you to that place made you realize that even if things were magical–it won’t stop evil from taking root. No one would ever be safe from those kinds of things. 
You smiled sadly as a group of sprites began to pass the balcony patio you were waiting outside of. A tiny one stopped when they had spotted you. It grew closer to your nose, stopping right between your eyes. You flinched a bit as some of the dust that seemed to fly off it made your nose tickle. You sneezed without wanting to, blowing the sprite away a good distance. 
You looked at the mad creature wide eyed, the humanoid sticking its small tongue out at you. You sighed again as it flew away to join its group once more. 
“Is everything alright, Little one?” You turned around from the railing, finding Namjoon striding his way over to you. 
“Yeah, I'm fine.” You smiled softly. 
“I can see your head working a mile a minute.” He spoke quietly, pressing his chest to yours as he leaned in to place his forehead against you. 
“Please don't shut us out.” He whispered. 
“I'm not trying to. I just want to process some things.” You sighed, turning around to face the city once more. 
“Can I join you?” He asked, moving to your side to take in his home. 
“Always.” You leaned against his arm, allowing yourself to fall into his warmth. 
He had his arms out in the open, his skin on display. Your fingers softly rubbed at his scarred skin, feeling the bumps from the cells that had healed over. You were glad to know he was no longer in pain or that his lesions were open. You figured now that he was back home his healing was much better than they were. 
“It felt like just yesterday you were walking into my room to take care of me.” Namjoon began to speak. 
“I remember that day because it was the day I met someone who told me for the first time in years to have a good day.” You looked up at him with furrowed eyebrows, a bit unsettled that no one had bother to do that before. 
“Someone who didn't know what they had gotten themselves into but still chose to help those in need.” He turned to you, sliding his hand down your arm to hold you own. 
“I'm sure lots of others tried before me.” You spoke quietly, watching as his warm fingers encased your own between his. 
“But none of them were you.” Namjoon placed his forehead against yours, smiling at you as your nose bumped with his. 
“You make our coven feel complete. Like everything we went through could not compare to what we would have now.”
Everything they went through? The pain, the sorrow, the idea of them having spent 10 years against their will being underground made you want to throw up. You knew there were more people out there who faced the same problems they did–magical creatures or not–but knowing it was you who brought that upon them made things worse. 
Nothing would ever change what you had done–what had happened to you in the past. You had grown up innocent from what you went through, having no memory of what they had done to you. To this day you still don’t even remember, Bang telling you that while he did give you your memory back your own brain has those memories locked away for your well being. 
“You shouldn't have to have felt that way though. Because of me you guys were kid—”
“Lead to you. Even if we stayed there forever we still had you.” Namjoon cut you off. “And we weren’t the only ones who went through something terrible. Even if you might never really remember what happened to you, you were on the verge of death. You could have died and we never would have met.”
“Nabi–”
“Protected you. Led you to us. Call it what you want. But you wouldn’t be here if it wasn’t for her.” He tried to tell you. 
You would never be able to know what she had been thinking since the moment she had passed. You didn’t even know what she might have been feeling at the moment–only those with magical powers could really figure it out. You wanted to have the chance to know her more. Figure her out the way you might have when you were a kid but you didn’t know how things worked in this world. 
“I can't imagine you staying there for so long.” You went back to rubbing at his arm, feeling the planes of his tanned skin. “You're getting better.”
“The magic in our home helps us heal better. Hobi has been helping with our physical wounds and learning more.” Namjoon explained, a smile slipping onto his lips. “It's what we have to do to prepare ourselves for the fight. Hanseol has an army behind him now. Especially with Kang on his side. But we have to try and save everyone.”
You began to frown again, thinking about having the boys go back to that place all over again. There was something in the back of your mind telling you it was the right thing to do. All those children who were taken from their home at a young age and the older people who were taken from their families. 
You wanted to stop them–you tried to. But you knew who they were and what they wanted to do from the beginning. As Namjoon said, you were the reason he found hope again. The reason they all did. So who were you to take it away from them to continue hoping for a better future for everyone they had come to care for in that facility. 
“Namjoon?” The both of you turned, finding Yoongi waiting at the door of the patio. 
“There you are, Princess.” He smiled softly, gums on display as he grew closer to the two of you. 
“Everything okay?” He asked you, placing a hand on your cheek to pull you into him. 
You gave him a smile, pulling your lips in for a small kiss. “Yeah. I'm fine, Yoongi.”
“Everyone is waiting for us. Let's head inside.” He spoke up when he pulled back, looking up at Namjoon who gave him a nod in understandment. 
All the other boys were waiting for you in the meeting room along with your grandfather. When you entered you gave the younger boys a smile, feeling content with the way they huddled around you to make sure you were okay. 
“Are you sure you boys are ready to go back? We can always send someone else.” Bang questioned.
“We were there the longest even if we weren't the oldest. The only reason we made it out was because of (Y/N).” Seokjin answered. 
“It could've been anyone.” You muttered to yourself, trying to make yourself feel better about the kind of staff Hanseol had in his personnel to not want to take the people out of there. 
“Besides, we're the only ones who know that facility inside and out. You'll have a better chance with us joining.” Hobi added, crossing his arms.
There was a sudden knock coming from the door which made all of you turn. 
“Come in.” Bang called out. 
You watched as the four Valkyries from Jin’s home walked into the room along with the swan maiden, IU. It seemed there was more people coming in behind them as well as more and more people shuffled in to fit in the large boardroom. 
“Are we late to the meeting?” Wheein smiled brightly. 
“We heard there was going to be a fight. We'd like to join in on the fun.” Solar laughed, smiling as all four of the valkyries stood with smirks. 
“Count my boys in as well.” A man with a deep voice called out, arms crossed as a group of 12 other men followed behind into the boardroom. 
“Seungcheol.” Namjoon began to grin, taking in the small army that had formed ready for orders.
The leader of BTS walked up to the man, pulling him into a hug as the clapped each other on the back.  
“Mingyu told me about your return.” Seungcheol smiled, patting Namjoon on the back. “It's a great thing to see you home. As for the fight, there's more than enough of us.” 
He turned to look at his boys, all ranging in different species from what you could tell. You weren’t able to determine much of who they were but you knew they had a faerie in their midst and some kind of animal that had cat like ears. You spotted the boy who was close friends with Jungkook, allowing the boy to let go of you as he seemed to get into a tussle with the other one again. 
You began to laugh as the way everyone seemed to be relaxed but ready to fight at a moments notice. You were glad people like them were willing to go to the trouble of bringing the others back. It didn’t make you worry any less about your boys but you knew they had others who were going to help them. 
Bang stood from his chair. “Then let's start prepping. The faster we save everyone the faster we can bring them back home.”
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