#pedro pascal x platonic!reader

[dumbbitchenergy17]

Reunion Interview

Plot: A reunion of our two favorite actors following their crazy lives after the ending of the fan-favorite show: The Mandalorian

Word Count: 4.7K

Pairing: Platonic!Pedro Pascal x Platonic!Reader, Paul Mescal x Reader

Warnings: sweet "father-daughter" moments, laughter giggles, just general fluff

A/N: This is something that's been on my mind for a while and with Gladiator 2 this only fueled it. CONTAINS CLAN OF THREE SPOILERS+WHERE THE WILD THINGS ARE. Read all of the Clan of Three Series here and also read Where the Wild Things Are here

------

“Alright, we are all ready?” The interviewer asks and the cameramen and sound people each give their sounds of agreement and then turn to give the go-ahead to start, “Hello guys it’s a pleasure meeting you two. It must be good to reunite once again. Let’s get a little introduction then go crazy.” He greets the two actors sitting next to each other.

“Hello world I’m Pedro Pascal.” “And I’m Y/n L/n and we’re here with Variety Magazine.” The two of you greet the camera before looking at one another. Pedro gives a fake serious look and you roll your eyes at his antics and he burst into laughter.

“This is what I dealt with for five years oh god how did I do it.” You pinch the bridge of your nose while the older man dies down his chuckles.

“Don’t act all innocent you were in just as much mischief as I was.” Pedro points at you, “I was barely an adult on set you’re supposed to be the responsible one.” It seemed like years had flown by. This TV show was your breakthrough role and allowed your career to skyrocket and it was all thanks to meeting this man.

“Plenty of fun stories from set between the cast and crew.” The interviewer asks you both and Pedro nods enthusiastically.

“The first two seasons this one was attached to my hip. I couldn’t even go for a nap without her waiting outside of my trailer.” He says with a chuckle and you cross your arms.

“You were the only person on set who was childish enough to want to hang out with a high schooler.” You reply sassily and the interviewer has to cover his mouth to hide his laughter while Pedro gasps dramatically while holding his chest. “How dare you call me childish.”

“So Y/n being the youngest person of the cast and growing up on the show how did it affect your character?” You smile smoothing out the wrinkle in your pants.

“Well, I was cast in 2018 a couple of months after Pedro was already cast. It’s funny cause Dave and Jon actually when creating this show my character was never meant to be in this show just an idea thrown around.” You explain, “But they decided why not add another bounty for Mando to take care of, but through the show, they both learn to take care of each other and he becomes a father figure to her.”

“And Pedro how was that playing a role of becoming a father figure and being there in her life?” He asks and Pedro scratches his beard.

“I mean at first not gonna lie I was very nervous. I have worked with younger actors before but this was something different. It wasn’t a child actor that played my son or daughter, or someone who was an adult it was a teenager that I would be working with quite closely. I mean we met for our first table read and you were just this shy girl who was meant to be this sassy badass character. But you blew me and the crew away when we started working together,” Pedro says glancing over at you with a nostalgic look in his eyes, “Both the relationship of our characters had this whole evolution from being adversaries and not even friendly with one another to a bond that ran deeper than blood. I watched her grow up with every episode and season from that timid little girl to this strong intelligent woman before me.” You give a pouting smile before putting your face in your hands.

“I hate you. You’re gonna make me cry.” You sigh making the interviewer and Pedro laugh and wraps his arms around your hunched-over body rocking you side to side. “You’re not the only one teary-eyed,” The interviewer says fanning his eyes and you smile at his attempt to not single you out.

“It’s all good I’m professional.” You steel your face wiping away any trace of sadness from his touching speech. “Yeah, Pedro is an alright guy I guess.” You shrug and Pedro bursts into laughter throwing his head back

“Okay getting back on track. You’ve both been very busy this past year. Season 3 of The Mandalorian has been out and fans are both crying over how good this show is and how you tore us all apart with the ending.” He says and Pedro fake cries remembering the ending.

“Hey, I didn’t want her to leave me. She went to go find herself.” He points his thumb at me and you slap it away, “I didn’t have a decision in it as well. You should have seen him on my final day of filming, so as you know this man over here was gone pretty much all of season three cause he was filming his show with his other kids.” Referencing Bella Ramsey and Nico Parker his two other ‘children’ in The Last Of Us.

“Pedro is just our favorite father figure.” The interviewer says and you nod in agreement. “You have too many children to keep count of.” You say and Pedro gives a sheepish grin.

“I’m just good with kids.” He shrugs.

“But anyways so since he was busy filming for that show we were able to have his amazing stunt doubles, I love you Brendan and Lateef become him. So comes my final scene where I leave and Din is left all sad with Grogu. I think he’s in Canada filming and we block out the scene Dave and Jon tell us we’re all set. That scene feels very close to me 'cause it feels like my goodbye to both the character and to the crew who’s been there since I was eighteen.” You remember the sadness that day on set knowing that this was your final hours with this group.

“So we start rolling and I go through my whole monologue,”

“Which was amazing by the way.” The interviewer butts in and you smile,

“Oh thank you. So I do my thing and who I think is Brendan just breaks down crying before he can say his line I panic and try to improvise to get him back on track but when Dave calls cut I expect it to be Brendan to take off the helmet and apologize but turns out it was this crybaby.” You point your thumb to an embarrassed Pedro.

“Did you expect no waterworks when you were leaving me?” He defends himself, “I didn’t expect you there in the first place! But it was sweet and after many takes because he couldn’t get through his lines without crying we finished my last scenes.”

“I have seen that video from Dave Filoni of the behind-the-scenes of your final day on set.” On the TV beside the interviewer plays a video that shows the set and crew and there are the two of you going through the scene before Jon calls cut.

You remember that take vividly it ended up being the one used for the final cut, the second ‘Cut!’ was shouted the crew broke into cheers. You immediately crouch and break into tears and Pedro removes his helmet pulling you into a bearhug crying into your shoulder you both cry out your characters and each other's final goodbyes on set.

“Give it up to Y/n for her final scene! That’s a wrap for her.” Dave says behind the camera as it moves closer to you and Pedro. Both of you were teary-eyed, Pedro looking like a wreck as you give a cheesy grin through tears and Pedro presses a kiss to your temple before pulling you into another tight hug and that’s when the video ends.

“A very heartfelt video that shows the bond you two have working together over five years.” He says and the two of you smile. Just being a part of the Star Wars franchise had been a dream, growing up watching the original and the prequels as a child and now being involved in this story was game-changing. “Outside of Star Wars, you’ve both been very busy Pedro with Wonder Woman, The Unbearable Weight, hosting SNL, and one of the most popular shows of this year The Last of Us.”

“Stop it you’re making me blush.” Pedro waves his hand acting bashfully, “Don’t forget the three Emmy nominations.” You pipe in and Pedro covers his face at all the compliments headed his way. This man was way too humble.

“You’re not off the hook either you’ve been very busy yourself, you got your nomination for an Emmy for ‘The Mandalorian’, you’ve been in Bullet Train, Across the Spider-Verse, In the Heights, the latest Indiana Jones, and you just wrapped up A Quiet Place: Day One, all while going to school and getting your college degree now finally enjoying adulthood, how is that like.” The interviewer reminds you of the work you’ve done in the past five years.

You laugh twisting the rings that adore your fingers, “I mean high school was easier as I had an on-set teacher and graduated right around in the middle of filming In the Heights. Then for college right as the pandemic hit we all were on lockdown I continued with online courses and once it lifted it was working a schedule of classes and work but all the films I’ve been on have been so accommodating. With the program I took I graduated right after we wrapped Season 3 and before the Press Tour,” Pedro makes a cheering noise as the interviewer laughs.

“I’m assuming you were in attendance for that Pedro?” He questions and Pedro nods enthusiastically, “Of course, I was there for both high school and college! I made a sign and everything.” He and the interviewer laugh as you shake your head.

“Did he?!”

“It was the same big sign with a bunch of horrible pictures of me I think it said, ‘Y/n L/n my unofficial daughter’ with like a bunch of hearts.” You can picture the sign clearly remembering both high school and college walking across the stage to receive your diploma and hearing your friends and family cheer Pedro being one of the loudest.

“Since graduating and now fully dedicating yourself to film how has it been?” The interviewer questions and you give a wide smile.

“I love it so much, while it was stressful balancing work and classes being done is so rewarding. I’ve been able to accept so many new projects and attend so many events I couldn’t before due to classes.” In college, you and your manager had discussed your schedule working around sets while focusing on your education. You decided to strictly do online courses just to make things easier if you do need to travel for work but you’ve been to school events and made friends in college despite your virtual learning.

“Is this the first time you are meeting back up in person since the premiere of Season Three?” He asks and it makes sense with your guys’ busy schedules.

“No surprisingly since we wrapped Season Three there was a time when we didn’t see each other, with Pedro busy with Strange Way of Life, and I had just ended college. Plus I just moved to New York and then got involved with A Quiet Place we didn’t see each other in person until I think it was when you hosted SNL..?” You explain and Pedro perks up.

“Nooo you were there for the premiere of The Last of Us.” He calls you out and your jaw drops you completely forget how busy and how many premieres it all blends. “I would say you kinda stole the show when you appeared on the carpet, none of us were expecting you to be there.” The interviewer says with a laugh.

“That would be an understatement. So it’s the night before the premiere I’m in LA and I think she’s still in New York I remember I called you cause I felt like I was going to die,” Pedro retells and you laugh remembering picking up the phone to see a very nervous Pedro who was pacing in a panic about the premiere for the show.

“You were fine just being a big baby as usual you did the same thing during season one.” He shushes you trying to cover your mouth with his hand but you dodge from it.

“ANYWAYS,” He raises his voice, “Night of the premiere and I feel like I’m going to puke and crap myself all at the same time. But I get there everything is alright I see the rest of the cast happy to see Bellie again all those good things. I’m doing an interview and I think Bella was still on the carpet taking some photos when this roar of cheers came from the beginning. I’m thinking it’s Ashley Johnson or Troy Baker the original Joel and Ellie but I can’t see from down there. So they want me to get some photos with Bella and how I couldn’t tell they were planning something is beyond me.” You and the interviewer start giggling and you see queued up is a video from that night.

“Oh god, you have a video!” Pedro groans covering his face and you nudge him forcing him to watch.

The shouts of fans and photographers as Pedro poses for photos and you can see Bella go over and pull him over as the pair take photos together. Pedro places his hand on his stomach a technique he has used for years to quell his anxiety. The flashing lights and screams of fans only grow louder for a second and he just laughs confused at them. Bella squeezes his arm from his right side and he can sense a presence on his left side and he assumes it’s another cast member.

“Hey P…” A voice whispers in his ear and his eyes widen comically and he whips to turn to face you who has a cheesy smile on your face.

“What the fuck!”

The cameras show Pedro quickly wrapping his arms around your waist and lifting you in the air and you laugh loudly before he puts you down and immediately talks rapidly questioning how you are here, how this happened, when you planned this, he had just called you a few hours before. The cameras start yelling at you two to pose and the pair of you pose a big grin spread across Pedro’s face. The video ends as he pulls Bella and Nico making it a group photo of all his on-screen daughters.

You laugh as it freezes at the photo of all of you smiling and laughing.

“I’m still in shock you managed to pull a fast one on me but that truly made my night,” Pedro says.

“It was all Bella and Nico’s planning I didn’t even know how they even managed to keep it from you during all those press tours. I was fully there like four days before the premiere,” You say, and on the screen are photos you had posted following the surprise of you hanging with Bella and Nico, and the rest of the last of us crew. One photo that makes you giggle is you standing before a snoring Pedro on a couch in a green room that you had Bella take for you when you snuck to watch their interviews.

“Speaking of Bella and Nico. I would say you including Sophie Thatcher blew up the internet in the ‘Children of Pedro’ interview,” The interviewer mentions and you smile and a thumbnail of the interview with you and these amazing actors and actresses.

“Oh, that interview was so much fun. It was the first time I met Bella and Nico as I worked alongside Sophie during Boba Fett and we all had this instant chemistry. Following that we all became good friends and we try to hang out when any of us are in town or plan stuff.” You explain and you see Pedro has a warm smile happy to see all the people he cares deeply for are friends, “Pedro’s glad all his children aren’t fighting.” You smirk and both the interviewer and Pedro laugh at your comment.

“I’m glad my home has some form of order,” Pedro bounces off your quip and the interviewer looks over some of his notes.

“Alright, I have some fan questions sent in for the both of you to answer if that’s alright.” He asks as both you and Pedro take sips from your drinks.

“Sounds great!” “Hit me with them.”

The interviewer nods excitedly looking over at you, “Alright Y/n we’ll start with you. This is a question from @pedroswife1975 ‘I was just as gagged at Pedro’s SNL performance I wanted to know if you had any clue of Pedro’s plans or did you go in just as blind as everyone else.’.” The screen shows a college work on Pedro’s SNL night.

“Oh, that was a crazy night, I was so excited to hear he was hosting SNL cause I was used to this guy’s craziness,” You say pointing a thumb at the older man, “I didn’t realize he was dropping hints or asking for my opinion like the fan cam skit he asked me about how I felt about like fan edits. To those watching I love them so much and genuinely lay in bed kicking my legs seeing the crazy shit yall make of me or people I know. Also, that fucking voice in the memory lost one.” Pedro bursts into laughter.

“What voice? This is my normal talking voice.” He flawlessly does the valley girl's voice that makes you speak through giggles.

“I think it was when he was in New York to rehearse for SNL and we’ve been meeting up and hanging out and we were at this cafe and he slips into this voice and I literally couldn’t help giggling,” You say, “So when I go to the taping I had to cover my mouth to stop from giggling everyone second.”

“It’s an amazing voice though.” The interviewer says in the valley girl accent, “Oh totally it’s completely amazingggg.” You respond by going heavy on the vocal fry unable to burst into a fit of giggles alongside Pedro.

“Okay, next question for Pedro. This is from @y/nssoulmate ‘I’m dying to know cause those Instagram photos were insane, but how crazy was Y/n’s 21st birthday?! Please I’m dying to know I’ll give my first child to know!!’.” You immediately groan covering your face and the pair laugh. On the screen appears a photo of your twenty-first birthday it’s partially blurry but it’s of you looking plastered. A ‘21’ crown halfway on your frizzy hair from the humidity of Pedro’s apartment that he transformed into a club vibe, a drunk grin on your face with an arm around Pedro’s shoulder the other holding a martini. Pedro is practically holding you up looking drunk as well as a beer in his free hand.

Pedro chuckles rubbing the back of his neck, “I’m going to be so honest I don’t remember much of that night. Someone thought it was a good idea to try and outdrink each other.”

“Hey! I was given full rein since it was my birthday. You were meant to be the responsible adult. Luckily Sarah Paulson and Oscar Issac were the actual adults that night,” You defend yourself. Truly that night was a blur but it was such a fun night. Your friends had taken you out for breakfast and a full day of celebration before you received a text from Pedro to go to his apartment to get his gift that he accidentally shipped to his place. Turns out it was a surprise and he was able to come back from shooting for The Last of Us and bring along your close friends and family.

“For my soulmate unfortunately neither Pedro nor I remember that night but trust from what those there that night it was the best birthday someone could through for me. Though I did avoid alcohol for like a month.” You say and Pedro groans remembering the hangout you both suffered the following day.

“Okay question for you Ms. Partyer. @imstillsadfromkazsdeath,” You laugh at hearing from the person’s social handle, “Their question is with news of both Wicked which you worked alongside Director John Chu during In the Heights, and Gladiator 2 has your co-star, Joseph Quinn, your father-figure Pedro, and your friend Paul Mescal coming out at the same time. Which are you seeing first Wicked or Gladiator 2?” On the screen, it shows a college of you with each respective person mentioned. A photo of you nineteen on set in New York City with John Chu and Lin Manuel Miranda, a picture of you and Pedro during premiere of season 3 of Mandalorian, a picture of you and Joseph Quinn on the set of A Quiet Place both dusty and covered in fake blood, and finally a picture of you and Paul Mescal at the this recent Met Gala a candid photo of inside the event talking during dinner.

“One more of a sidebar, I’m still sad about Kaz’s death if I could’ve changed it I would’ve both Freddy and I were so bummed filming those scenes. But for your question fuck you.” You answer so seriously that both Pedro and the interviewer burst into laughter.

“Seriously fuck you for making me choose. One I love John Chu and I am so excited to see Wicked I’ve been obsessed with it since a kid and I saw Idina and Kristin on Broadway so I need to see what Cynthia and Ariana do with this. But I also love all three guys and want to support them too 'cause I also love Gladiator and I know my father would be super betrayed since it’s our go-to movie to watch.” You were in such a rough spot.

“Can I clone myself?” You ask and both Pedro and the interviewer shake their head which makes you let out a frustrated groan, “You know what? I’ll see whatever movie I get invited to first. This leaves me not to choose it’s in the hands of John and the boys so they need to battle it out.”

“Wow, seriously such a cop-out,” Pedro whines and you shrug, “You can’t force me to decide if I don’t have the choice.”

“Very well played. Alright, our final question for Pedro from @pedroiszaddyfr they ask ‘Hey Pedro if I get chosen I’m absolutely in love with you and just want you to know that.”

“Aw, I love you too,” Pedro replies and the interviewer continues.

“So my question is in The Last of Us after season 1 in the books ‘The Last of Us: Where the Wild Things Are’ we do get introduced to Joel’s second biological daughter is there any potential plans to include them in the show making them canon since they aren’t in Part 2 and if so. Please for the love of all these mighty get Y/n to play your daughter she would kill the role!” The interviewer chuckles at the question and you look over at Pedro who thinks over the question.

“Well as I’m sure many of you do know in the books we do get an extremely interesting character that changes and adds more depth to the characters of the game. I’d love them to add her into the show and we see the change in Joel and Ellie during the period before season two. I mean I’d be so down for Y/n to be a part of this but that’s in the hands of Craig and Neil. Unless you know something I don’t?” Pedro turns to look at you and you raise your hands shaking your head.

“I’m just as clueless as you. But I would love to be a part of the show. I’ve read the book and she truly is such an interesting character. I mean that opening fight scene in the cabin before Joel and Tommy pull up is so fucking cool. But yeah Craig and Neil hit me up before Pedro starts begging and whining.” You say and a bark of laughter comes from the older man.

“Well thank you both so much for taking the time and talking about your lives and this amazing reunion. Is this the last you too will see each other until the next reunion?” The interviewer says.

“Nope! This girl can’t get rid of me now that we’re both back in New York for the time being.” Pedro says wrapping an arm around your shoulder and resting his head on top of yours.

“If anyone wants to take this old man off my hand you can have him,” You comment and Pedro gasps pushing you away from him as you giggle, “I’m kidding I love him and he’s amazing but yeah we got tickets for Beyonce coming up so I am very excited while I need this one to listen to her entire discography before we go,” You point your thumb at him and he raises his hand.

“Hey, I got a decent chunk under my belt. Plus I’ve known Beyonce longer than you.” Pedro says and the pair of you being bickering having that be the outro of the interview.

The pair of you collect your items from your dressing rooms before heading outside. Pedro has his arm wrapped around your shoulder to make sure you don’t bump into anything your gaze glued to your phone. The cool New York breeze sends chills down your spine as you scroll through Instagram. A buzz from your phone a text saying ‘Look up’ and when you look up you see Paul standing a few feet away in a pair of jeans and a t-shirt a trench coat over it with a cap and glasses.

“Paul!” You smile lowering your phone and pulling away from Pedro to go over to Paul who welcomes you in his arms, “I thought we were gonna meet at dinner?”

He shrugs a half grin on his face, “Thought I surprise you and then we can head together. What’s up Pedro” You smile at his thoughtfulness. Pedro accepts his handshake.

“Good to see you Paul, how’s the city treating you?” He asks knowing that Paul came here just a few days ago from London when you mentioned it.

“Good real good. You know how the city usually is but luckily I have a good guide,” Paul says squeezing your shoulder and you flush shying away. Pedro smiles glad to see you are happy as the pair of you look at each other with loving looks.

“Well, I’ll leave you both be to enjoy the rest of your night. I got plans to meet with Sarah and Lux soon,” He says giving Paul a handshake before you pull away and give Pedro a big hug which he equally reciprocates.

“Send Sarah and Lux my regards.” You say and Pedro nods, “Lux wants to see you soon so be sure to reach out to her.”

“I will and don’t forget we have drinks this Friday,” You say pointing your finger at him and he nods while pulling out his headphones.

“Yes, mom…” He rolls his eyes before starting to walk away sending a final wave, “Have a good night!”

“Bye Pedro.” “Bye P I love you!” You shout so he can hear over his headphones.

“Love you too kid!” He says blowing you a kiss before disappearing within the crowd. You bring your attention back to Paul who tucks a stray strand behind your ear.

“What are you looking at? Is something on my face?” You ask trying to reach for your face but he stops you holding your hand and giving a squeeze.

“I’m just looking at you, a chuisle mo chroí. You’re just beautiful is all.” He says slipping to Irish so easily it sends a shiver down your spine at his accent.

“Stop being so cheesy,” Your face flushes hot as you shove him away starting in the direction of the subway station. You hear him run up after you easily wrapping his arm around your waist before placing a kiss on your lips which you eagerly accept your hand reaching up to cup his cheek. Pulling away a bit, he gives a familiar smirk that makes you grin as you fully step back taking hand and the pair make their way to your plans.

“You’re such a sap.”

“A sap for you my love~”

“Shut up!”

a/n: y'all I'm alive I swear these finals have truly been killing me and TRUST, any paused work will be coming back I swear on my unborn child.

[writersblog20]

Movie night, adventures and sleepovers.

Pedro Pascal x reader

Credits to the gif maker!!

Summary: When you and Pedro finally had some time to hang out together so you decided on a movie night and a sleepover with maybe some edibles which leads to some funny yet cute situations.

Warnings:FLUFF edibles, smoking some grass,  quick mention of an unsafe environment. (but like very quick)

A/N I DO NOT give permission to translate, copy or repost my work!

Words: 3,7K

Movie night, adventures and sleepovers.

You were packing your stuff and got ready to go to Pedro. Since you’ve became co-workers, your bond had been so wholesome and loving that you got very attached to Pedro and Pedro to you. He was your best friend, comfort person and just your favorite person in the whole wide world. When you were filming a new tv series, you both watched a lot of movies together and tried to have a movie night every Friday.

Unfortunately Pedro was very busy the last couple of weeks but made it up to you. Instead of just the Friday night, he asked you to have a movie weekend. Which meant, eat edibles or smoke weed, watch movies, put on your crazy pajamas, cuddle together underneath the fluffy blanket that he bought just for you) order take-out, eat snacks (mostly popcorn) and fall asleep on his couch. He had a couch that you could turn into a bed so that was always what you did first. Make it as comfy as possible, bringing all the blankets and pillows down and chill on the bed/couch.

You got your stuff and texted Pedro that you were on your way. “Send me your live location sweetheart.” He texted you back, always worried for you and that you would arrive safely and if you won’t than he would know where you were. You texted him your location and put all of your stuff in your car and drove to his place.

You were very excited. You haven’t seen him in a month and two weeks and everyday it became harder and harder. You missed him so much and he did with you, hence the weekend. You did at least text each other everyday and facetime at least 2 times in the week.

After an hour or so you arrived at the comfort of Pedro’s home which you considered your second home. Pedro opened his front door and walked towards your car with a big smile and opened the door for you when you were almost getting ready to get out. Seems like he missed you just as much as you missed him. You couldn’t wipe the smile off of your face. “Give me a hug! I’ve missed you so much!” he told you excited and held his arms open for you. You got out of the car and quickly got into the hug. Pedro held you very tight, like he was scared that you might be gone if he didn’t hold you so tight.

“I finally have my baby girl back” he let out with a sigh as if a heaviness got off of his shoulders. Your arms were around his waist and your face buried in the crook of his neck while you stood on your tippy toes. Pedro chuckled and rocked the both of you in the hug. His arms around your shoulders and pulled you closer to the warmth of his body. “Let’s get inside, I got a surprise for you!” he told you excited, making you giggle, raising your curiosity and matching his excited energy. Before going inside, Pedro helped you with the bags and carried them, not wanting that you had to carry it.

He took your hand in his and led you inside his house. You followed him curiously. The moment you stepped into the livingroom, your breath got taken away for a second from surprise while Pedro put your stuff down for a minute. He already made the couch/bed but made some sort of tent with fairy lights in it. The fireplace was lit and it looked sooooo comfortable and cozy that you wanted to lay down already. “This is the first surprise.” Pedro smiled happily when he saw you happy and surprised. “Pepsi…. This is so sweet! Thank you.” he smiled “Anything for my favorite girl in the world.” You felt flustered and loved by his words. “Come here princesa, I got another surprise for you.” You felt so spoiled but you were always getting spoiled when you were with Pedro.

“So… as you know I’ve been traveling and of course I got something from back there for you.” he told you and happily gave you a box. It was a big box at that and you looked at Pedro to see if you could open it. He nodded with a big smile and neither could you wipe the smile off your face. The box had a ribbon around it and you got it loose, slowly opening the box. You saw the same pajama that Pedro had, and you loved so much. “Ohhh thank you Pepsi!!!” you thanked him happily and gave him a big hug, “Now we’re matching besties.” You giggled at his remark. “You gonna wear it tonight as well?” you asked him, feeling the soft fabric on your hands. “Of course I will!” you smiled and gave him a side hug. Pedro chuckled shyly and a blush creeped up on his cheeks.

“Oh and I went with my nephews to Disneyworld. You need to join us sometime! You’ll love it! but I saw something and I just had to get it for you.” you were still learning to accept gifts and not feel bad about it so this was a lot but you weren’t complaining. “Pepsi.. it’s too much.” You told him, feeling a bit guilty. “Hey, none of that. I want to spoil you, so I will because I love you. you know that right?” he told you softly and sweetly. You nodded and gave him a warm smile. “Come here baby girl.” He told you, holding his arms open for you again so he could give you a hug first. You immediately got in the hug and Pedro let his chin gently rest on your head. “I know you find it difficult sometimes but you deserve it. Besides, it’s part of my love language.” You chuckled. You knew it was indeed part of his love language, that’s why you always accepted his gifts because it made him so happy.

“I know, Peps. Thank you, I love you too.” He gave you a warm smile and kissed the top of your head. He got a paper bag from underneath the table and gave it to you with a big smile, which radiated over to you. You saw a very soft and fluffy fabric which was green, propped up in the bag. You got it out and it might’ve been the softest thing you’ve ever touched. You got it out of the bag and you saw that it was a big oversized grogu hoodie. Pedro knew that you really liked the Mandalorian so this was really sweet and cool. “Thank you Pepsi! I LOVE it.” Pedro smiled happily. “You’re more than welcome and I know, that’s why I got it for you, sweetheart.” You gave him a hug while he looked with adoration at you while he giggled a bit.

“Okay, let’s get changed in the pajamas and order some food. You have an idea of what you want?” He asked you while walking up the stairs as he carried your stuff. “Ehmm… maybe some Mexican food or something?” Pedro smiled, “That’s one of the many reasons why I love you.” you chuckled and followed him in the bedroom where he put your stuff down. The only thing that you were carrying were your presents, which you were so happy with. You went into the bathroom with your presents and got changed into the matching pajamas. You looked in the mirror and god you were really happy with your presents and walked out with a big smile on your face. Pedro was already wearing his and you chuckled. “I really, really like it Pepsi!” Pedro chuckled “We should take a picture!” he suggested while laughing, knowing that the internet would go absolutely nuts about this.

You both took a couple of pictures and did different poses. One where you were on his back, your chin resting on top of his head while he held you up with his arms around your legs, both with the biggest smile on your faces. You took some pictures of Pedro and he from you. He got the grogu hoodie and hinted for you to put it on, which you happily did. It was so big, he probably got you 3 sizes bigger than your own, knowing you loved when your comfort clothes were baggy and oversized. Pedro hugged you tightly. “Oh my god, you look so cute and feel so soft!” he jokingly cried out, making you laugh. You both took some more pictures and made your way downstairs.

You finally plopped on the, cozy looking couch/bed together. Your arms were propped up together, laying closely next to each other. Pedro opened the take-out app and made you chose something to eat. You chose your favorite take-out with some dessert. Pedro leaned his head on your shoulder, looking at the things you chose. You handed the phone back to Pedro and this time, you leaned against Pedro, head resting against his shoulder, looking at the things he chose. He placed the order and put his phone aside to get the tv remote.

“So… what movie?” he asked you. You both made a list of all the movies and series you wanted to watch together. You even categorized them to the genre. “What are we feeling today? Horror, fantasy, comedy?” you asked. “Should we do a horror movie?” you smiled and nodded. You picked one on your list and made yourself completely comfortable against Pedro, who already had his arm placed around you. You shivered a little when you finally became comfortable even though you were already underneath a big blanket, you just get cold very fast so Pedro got a soft fluffy blanket from the corner and placed it over your shoulders, tucking you in.

You were hanging so much against Pedro that not even air could get through. There was a scary part in the movie and you hid your face a little against Pedro, closing your eyes for a bit until the jump scares passed. You heard Pedro chuckle above you and you looked up to be met with his brown eyes that looked so kindly down to you. “You okay baby girl?” he chuckled softly and you felt yourself grow flustered and nodded. The doorbell rang and you almost jumped off the couch, scaring you to your core. Pedro started wheezing at your reaction. You felt your cheeks heat up and embarrassment floating over you while you swatted Pedro’s arm. He got up, still laughing to open the door. You could still hear him chuckle as he opened the door and got the food inside. You jokingly looked mad at him. “Aww I’m so sorry baby girl. You know I won’t let anything happen to you in real life right?” he walked over to you, still chuckling and pulled you in a hug and kissed the top of your head. “Yeah, yeah. You keep laughing.” You acted unamused but you couldn’t hide the smile on your face.

You unpacked the food and got back into your position on the couch and dug into the delicious food. Pedro looked at you, love radiating from his yes as he had a permanent relaxing and comfortable smile on his face. You continued to watch a movie and eat dinner and desserts before you were both fully full and content.

After the first movie ended, it was Pedro’s turn to choose. Pedro sat with his back against the cushions while you laid down. You rested your head against his arm and looked at the tv. He chose candyman as he was sort off a horror movie lover himself. You told him that you loved horror movies. You both sharred a  love for those old horror movies like Halloween, Friday the 13th, scream etc but some very good horror movies came out last year like bodies bodies bodies and the barbarian etc. So after candyman you watched bodies bodies bodies. You had already seen the movie but loved to watch it again with Pedro, wanting to know what he thought about it.

“oh my god… that ending are you kidding me?!” he said out loud, not believing what just happened. “I do really like the movie though!” you chuckled and discussed the movie further. You saw Pedro getting lost in his thoughts and (in this case) you knew he was coming with at least an idea. “Hey I got an idea!” he told you excited making you laugh, knowing that you were right. “So scream 6 is in the movie theaters right now… I still have some edibles… what if we watch a movie in the theaters on edibles?” mischief visible in your eyes, making you chuckle. “You know what, I’m all in!” you told him excited for the little adventure.

You both bolted upstairs to get changed into some normal clothes and went downstairs again. Pedro got the edibles and put them in his pocket before getting the keys of his house. There was a cab waiting, that Pedro had called so he wouldn’t drive on edibles. You both still wore comfortable clothes but yet could be seen outside with. The drive to the cinema didn’t took long and Pedro already bought tickets online, looking at the best seats. He got the seats where you could lay down in. Those luxuries ones.

You both stepped out of the cab when you arrived at the destination. Pedro gave you one of the edibles and took the other himself, both smiling and grinning like some teenagers about the excitement. It felt good, doing something that wasn’t falling into some peoples perspectives of being bad.

You walked in, not knowing what to expect since Pedro held everything a surprise. “What do you want to have as a snack and a drink?” you questioned as you got your wallet out. Pedro had that same mischievous smile. “Nothing, we’ll get taken care of.” You frowned, not understanding what was happening. “Trust me” Pedro quickly added. You let out a sigh and smirked, trying to look unamused but failed. Pedro smiled at his wining plan. “okay, you take the lead than.” You told him with a chuckle and Pedro turned with his eyebrow raised, a smirk and nodded. “It’s a surprise.” He told you happily. You walked into the theater and you couldn’t believe your eyes for a second. Yes, you’ve seen this online. Pictures and stuff on tiktok but never did it crossed your mind that you would go here. “Oh I really like this!” you told him as you looked around, eyes big. Pedro chuckled “Yeah I know you do.” He laughed.

He took you to the seats he chose and it was absolutely perfect. You saw the screen perfectly from here. You sat down and you looked around, still a bit in awe. Pedro turned his chair up, so his feet were up. “Wow…” you immediately searched for your own button to do the same thing. Pedro chuckled lovingly. “You remind me of Ellie her first time in a car right now.” he chuckled, making you giggle. “Here” Pedro helped you with the seat, leaning over you. “Thank you.” he smiled lovingly at you. The edibles started to work on the both of you.

Pedro showed you that you could order snacks online throughout the entirety of the movie. Pedro got a box of popcorn to share and some drinks. You smiled and got comfortable, Pedro looking over at you every now and then, smiling with love radiating from him. The movie started and you focused on the movie, getting a handful of popcorn.

When the movie finished, you talked about it for a while and decided to go to the store to get some snacks back at home before the cab would arrive to bring you both back home. You and Pedro were fully high at this point and had to use almost all your energy not to burst into a fit of laughter inside the store. You heard Pedro trying to hold in his laugh, making you laugh but also tried to hold it in which led into tears from laughing so hard and trying to hold it in. You both got all the snacks, drinks and ice cream you both wanted. You saw a slushy machine and looked at Pedro with a smile before making your way over. “Which one do you want?” You asked him with a grin. Pedro pointed at the blue one, while you got the red one. You paid for the slushies and the snacks with some fighting back from Pedro. “No, pedge, you already paid for literally everything else. Let me pay at least for this.” He finally gave in, knowing it would made you feel bad if he didn’t.

You got into the cab, still buzzing from the edibles, knowing it would stay this way for at least the 2 next hours. You let your head rest on Pedro’s shoulder when the taxi driver drove off. “You okay baby girl?” he asked you softly as he carefully turned his head to look at you. You nodded “Yeah, just tired.” Pedro hummed in reaction. “You can close your eyes if you want to. I’ll wake you up when we’re home.” You smiled softly, already eyes closed. Home… yeah you felt at home and Pedro knew it. He always kept saying that his home, is your home as well and always managed to make you feel at home. You never really felt at home (except for your cute little apartment since it was yours) but people never gave you a safety feeling and you’ve never really felt safe at home, which Pedro knew about. That was why he was so bound to make you feel at home, comfortable, secure, cared for, loved and safe and god did that man made you feel at home.

You felt Pedro softly resting his head against yours. His arm around your shoulder so you could get even more comfortable. Yes you were tired but that wasn’t why you closed your eyes. You felt so comforted and safe at this moment that you just wanted to stay present. His cologne hit your nose and it was something that always seemed to calm you down, knowing that Pedro was there. you focused on his breathing, his cologne, the way he softly rubbed your shoulder with his thumb. You just wanted to curl up in his arms and never leave. And the funny part was, you knew Pedro wouldn’t mind if you stayed.

“Baby girl, we’re home.” He spoke ever so gently. You opened your eyes and let out a soft relaxing sigh out, making Pedro smiled that you felt so completely safe with him. It was the biggest compliment he could ever get and it filled his heart up with so much love for you.

You yawned a bit, making Pedro chuckle. He got all the stuff out of the cab and paid the driver. He swung his arm around your shoulder again and led you both inside the comfort of his home. Pedro put the stuff on the table while you let yourself fall on the stretched out bed in the livingroom. You rested on your back while scrolling through your phone tiredly. Pedro fell down next to you on the bed and let his head rest on your shoulder this time, looking at what you were watching. He draped his arm over your stomach, holding you by your waist as he made himself comfortable. You played with his hair, not even trying to resist the urge. You knew Pedro was okay with that and obviously, he let you play with his hair right now.

After a half hour of tiktoks, Pedro spoke up. “You want to smoke a joint and watch something until we fall asleep?” he raised his head to look at you. “Yeah, sure!” you told him with a smile.

You went outside and sat down on his lounge couch outside and laid your legs on it too. Pedro followed soon and did the same as you, his back slightly resting against your side, so he could put his feet up on the couch as well, kicking off his slippers, like you did prior. Pedro lit the joint and you both started to slouch more against each other, letting both of your heads rest against each other as you passed the joint back and forth until it was finished. You immediately felt effect as you started to relax more and your eyes started to get heavy.

You both lazily walked back inside, got into your comfortable pajamas again and freshened up. Pedro put the fairy lights on and got ready for bed as well, joining besides you when he finished up. “Thank you Pedge. For this wonderful evening.”  You told him when you lay down on your side. Pedro smiled at you. “Your welcome baby girl. Thank  you for a wonderful evening as well.” you smiled in reaction and handed the remote to Pedro so he could choose the last movie of tonight. He clicked on something you both liked, something light hearted.

You crawled closer to Pedro, letting your head rest on his shoulder and your arm around his torso. His arms were relaxing around you as he held you comfortably. You grew very tired from the eventful and fun evening and tried to keep your eyes open but it was a losing battle. “Close your eyes Chiquita, it’s okay. I’ll make you pancakes in the morning.” He whispered and kissed the top of your head. You hummed, already falling asleep. “G’night.” Pedro chuckled “Goodnight princess.” He told you and looked for a couple of seconds at you with nothing but adoration. He couldn’t express how happy he was to spend a couple of days together.  

[reidispunk]

TAKE IT SLOW KID

JOEL MILLER x PLATONIC!READER

★⇢ summary; He saves you from the cruel life you’ve had but is it a mistake now after you begin to see him as a father-figure?

★⇢ warnings; angst, violence, mentions of death, slight trauma?,

★⇢ a/n; This is my first tlou fic so bare with me 😭 I hope the story makes sense like it did in my head and sorry if theres any mistakes, english isn’t my first language :)

★⇢ word count; 2,1k

Joel, like everyone else living in this fucked up world had changed after september 26th. His cold, ruthless demeanor had developed after his Sarah had died in his arms. He had convinced to himself that the paternal part of him was long gone and what remained was just a shell of a man, he had swore himself to never getting too close with too many people, or trusting them.

Until he saw you, lying on the ground while two grown ass men were beating you, a teenager, a kid. The feeling he swore would never come out again, he felt it in the pit of his stomach. Suddenly he was holding Sarah, his baby girl again while she bled to death and all the memories, the painful feelings he tried to push down were coming back up again. He needed to walk away, he needed to suppress the feelings away but he just couldn’t, he couldn’t walk away because the painful screams you were letting you were getting to him.

He went to an autopilot, surged towards the men and the only goal was to save you. After he managed to scare the men and he slowly came up to you “hey kid, cmon up” he extended a hand towards you. You shook and slowly lifted your small hand in his, he pulled you up “wheres your parents kid?” he asked after he flinched his hand away from yours.

You knew you probably shouldn’t trust this stranger but he saved you from those men who have taunted you a while. His presence scared you but you felt safe. But after he asked you that question you shut down and he could probably see it. “Don’t know, probably dead. Thanks for saving me I should go-“ you said not wanting to get out of the conversation as soon as possible because you knew that the fedra people would come looking for you. But he stopped you before you could even take a step. “Slow down kid, where are you going to go then?” he asked. “I don’t know, I’m thankful but I can’t stay here” you said looking pleadingly at his eyes. He sighed “You’re a kid, should have a home at least.”

You look at your feet now, painful memories coming up how everyone you loved left you. “I don’t” is the only thing you get out

———————————————————————

“Tess where is the kid!” You hear Joel yell after he came back to his small home. Tess is not here but Michael is who is now holding a knife to your throat, you hear Joel yell your name and you know he’s looking for you.

“One fucking word and I kill you and the grandpa after you” you hear Michael behind you speak. Tears are now rolling down your eyes and you hope that Joel doesn’t come to the room, but at the same time you want him to save you. You want him to protect you from this man behind you but you know you shouldn’t hope that.

“This ‘ain’t funny anymore kid!” You hear his voice and you let out a sob. “Shut the fuck up bitch” you hear from behind you. Suddenly the door is being pushed open and you see him, the man who has saved you now multiple occasions and took to his home, gave you a bed and food. Something no one has done for you.

“Joel” you creek out while tears are rolling down you cheeks, you see the panic in his eyes. You never really cried in front of him before. “Look man I don’t want to fight, I only want the girl. Just let us go and nothing bad will happen” you hear Michael speak behind you. You know he’s scared of Joel but it didn’t stop him from coming for you.

Joel looks at him and sighs “fine” and he steps away from the room. What? No. No no no. He can’t do this to you. You let out a sob “I told you shut up you fucking stupid ass kid” michael says and you feel him move the knife and it makes a small cut to your throat.

He’s pushing you out of the room and you can’t even look at Joel, he’s abandoning you just like everyone else. You thought you could trust him, the times you had to hold yourself back from calling him dad after he took care of you are now haunting you while you walk towards his front door.

“What the fuc-“ you hear that man suddenly speak behind you and hes pulled off you and being stabbed by Joel. You stare at him, in shock. He had said yes- he actually didn’t mean it? You fall to your knees, the panic still tearing your insides. You start to sob, you can’t breathe. Why can’t you breathe? It feels like everything is slowing down. Suddenly you feel someone, a palm pressing down on your cheek “kid, hey everything is okay” You hear a muffled voice speaking.

“look at me, hey! Slow down kid” You finally recognize the voice, it’s dad- Joel. It’s Joel, he saved you, you’re okay. You look up to him now, you see an emotion you can’t quite understand. “Dad?” you say weakly, still not breathing evenly and immediately regret it because you see it in his eyes, the shock and you feel him physically tense up.

Joel never thought someone would be calling him that again, he does see Sarah in you. Whenever you let out a little laugh or you tease him about him he can’t help but think his baby girl. But now you’re shaking because you thought he would let them take you. “It’s okay, everything is okay, I got you” he forces out. He know that you’re smart and he knows you probably noticed the way he tensed after you called him.. that.

“I-i’m sorry, i shouldn’t have called you that I-“ you imminent go back into a panic mode and apologize profusely. Joel says your name softly “its okay, slip ups happen” he says and you flinch but don’t say anything else.

You get up, avoiding Joels gaze and walking back to the room you claimed as yours. You close the door behind you after you hear Joels voice call after you. You can’t, you can’t look at him. It pains you how desperately you want him to accept you as what? His daughter? You know that there was a child, his child who died and you know it pains him so why are you even thinking this? Curling to the bed and pulling the sheets up to hide from the world but you hear joel open the door and step inside.

Tears are rolling down now, you don’t know why and you refuse to let Joel see it so you just hide your face from him. He says your name again and he sits down next to your curled up legs. “Look kid- I’m sorry I had you thinkin’ that I was going to let them take you. I swear that I would never do that to you” He says to you.

You sit up now but still don’t look at his face, you know he can see the tears now, “You- You should’ve let him.” you say to him “I know” you pause and wipe your tears “I know i’m a big burden on you and Tess and-“ you continue but Joel shuts you down “Thats not true. Kid you are no where close to being a burden” he says to you. You feel your head spin and suddenly you remeber the cut michael gave you, and lift a finger to feel it and you see your blood, you look at Joel and he already has the things to treat the wound.

Hes getting up and kneeling down in front of you, “I’m going to clean it first and then bandage it up, okay?” he says and you are just nodding. He does it fast as possible and it doesn’t hurt too bad. Now he’s looking at you “Joel I- thank you. And I’m sorry-“ he shakes his head and says “You have nothing to apologize for kid, I’m sorry for not keeping you safe enough” and that is what breaks you. You crumble and start sobbing, you hide your face in your hands in shame for not being stronger to hold it in. “Oh baby girl, it’s okay let it out” You hear Joel say while hes pulling you to his arms and he hugs you “he was going to kill me and- and” you say “I know, I know, shh” he says and rocks you side to side gently “he said he was going to kill you after me I- dad-“ you sob in to his shoulder not even noticing that you called him that again, but he does.

Joel feels it in his guts, “baby shh, i’m fine. Everything is okay” and he stays there until you calm down.

He notices your steady breathing and he realizes that you fell asleep on him, he sighs and gently places you to the bed. He knows this is not a good life for a kid, he found you when you were about 11years old and he watched you grow right in front of him. You are older now but still a kid, he knows he’s attached to you but he pushes the thoughts down and quietly leaves the room after tucking you in.

——

“Joel!” He hears you scream and he’s up in a flash “dad?” you yell and he bursts in to your room to see you toss in you bed. He walks over to you “Hey kid, wake up everything is okay” he gently shakes you and you don’t wake up. He says your name but you still don’t open your eyes but you’re still panicking about something in your dream “no please no don’t hurt him please, hes all i have” you yell.

Now he’s shaking you again but with a little more force “baby girl” he says and you shoot up and breathe unsteadily. He sees the panic in your eyes while you look at him “hey i’m here, you’re okay” he says to you and he sees you start examining him “you’re okay” you say and then he realizes, you weren’t worried about yourself at all. He has always knew you were selfless and tender hearted like many kids but he didn’t realize you were so worried about him “i’m okay baby, i’m okay” he says and looks at you with gentle eyes. Suddenly you throw your arms around him, he didn’t expect that but hugs you back regardless.

“You know you remind me of my daugher Sarah” he starts and he feels you tense slightly. “You don’t need to talk about it Joel, I know it’s a touchy subject” you say with a crooked voice. His heart tugs and he continues “I want to tell you about her, she had a beautiful smile just like yours and- and she was a snarky girl like you” his voice cracks. All the memories flood back, his Sarah just after she was born, her first day at school and when she repaired his watch for him for his birthday.

“She would’ve liked you kid, and you would have liked her.” he says and puts his palm to the back of your head and sighs. “I would have, she seems like she was a great person” you answer him.

“I had a sister.” you start. Trying to stay calm you continue “She was my best friend, she was all I had after my parents.. She protected me from the world and I owe her everything. She-“ you can’t keep your tears away anymore. Joel gives you time to gather yourself “After we got into the QZ they separated us and put me in the fedra school and she had to work. The first time i saw her after they separated us was when she was about to leave to smuggle something for more rationcards because she was struggling. I insisted that I would come with her because she was all I had, she said yes and we went outside.” You continue while trying to gather yourself “We got stuck in a building and there were so many of them, the- the infected chased us around the building until we found a door and I tried to open it but it was jammed but I managed, I stepped outside and she.. didn’t come out, i heard her say that she loves me and get back to the QZ and I stood there, while the infected were ripping my sister to pieces I-“ you choke up a sob “I listened her screams and I fucking couldn’t do anything I- I couldn’t move, maybe if i convinced her not to go she still would be-“ you couldn’t continue, sobbing to Joels shirt while he slowly rubs your back.

“It’s not your fault.” Is the only thing he says while he tries to calm you down. “It’s not your fault” he says again.

[afictionaladventure16]

Ahh im a sucker for angst😭i think pedro would be the most amazing dad but maybe a fic where reader was an unplanned kid and pedro never paid that much attention to her ?? Happy ending if you can i love your writing !

Did You Forget? (Pedro Pascal x Daughter!Reader)

A/N: I'm a sucker for angst too!!! Hope you enjoy this!

A/A/N: Also, for everyone, Don't quote me on where his sister lives or anything like that, I do not know and do not wish to know for their privacy. It's all fiction, so not everything is gonna be realistic.

Word Count: 5,283

Pedro Pascal Masterlist

Warnings: mentions of self harm, depression, and panic attacks.

“I think I’d rather stay home,” you said to your Tia Javeria, you sat down on your bed in protest. You were being sent to spend the day with your dad while he did a press junket for his newest show The Last of Us, you had gotten out of school early for this. Much to your protest, your tia thought it was a good idea for you to spend some quality time with him since you really only saw him in the summers when you spent your summer vacation in New York with him. 

Throughout the school year, you stayed in California with your Tia Javeria. Your dad thought it would be wise for you to have a stable environment, rather than constantly being on the road for filming or switching schools because you would have to stay with Javeria. So, in reality, Javeria had full custody over you, it wasn’t something that was through the court, it was just an agreement between the siblings. 

What did this mean? You didn’t see your dad too often. Of course, he stayed in California from time to time, he had his own house here, but even then you never stayed with him. 

“Y/N, we’ve already spoken about this,” Javeria said, walking into your room to put some clothes away. 

You did speak about it, well, she spoke and you listened. Javeria didn’t like seeing her brother neglect his only daughter and well, although Pedro was a family man, he treated his daughter like she was never there. Javeria could never understand why he did it and if she tried to call him out on it, he denied the fact that he was doing it. 

She thought that maybe she was overreacting, but it was hard to ignore the facts. 

You let out a deep sigh, your dad played a good father on T.V. but it hurt that he couldn’t actually play your father in real life. “Does it even matter at this point?” You asked. 

“Does what even matter?” 

“Trying to build something that obviously isn’t there.” 

Javeria sighed, “He’s trying.” 

You shrugged, “I still think he’s just doing it to give him a good image.” You heard the doorbell ring. 

“That’s him,” Javeria stated, “I really need you to try, Y/N.” 

You wanted to say something clever or petty, but you kept your mouth shut. You respected your tia too much to say it, but you couldn’t help but feel hopeless. Javeria was the only true parent that you had in your life right now and it was sad for you to admit it. 

Following Javeria to the front door, you stood off to the side as you watched your dad greet his sister with a big hug. “There she is!” He exclaimed, “You ready? We can’t be late.” 

You gave him a nod, walking up to your tia for her to kiss you on the cheek. You didn’t receive a hug like she did, but you were used to it. You walked past your dad and towards his car that was in the driveway. 

“Be easy on her,” Javeria began, “She’s had a rough week.” 

Pedro sighed, “You say that every time I pick her up.” She gave her brother a sincere look, “Just stating the facts. I’ll bring her back around six.” 

The drive to the press Junket was quiet, your dad played the radio as he drove, not saying a word to you. 

Not a ‘How was your day?’ 

Or a ‘How’s softball going, kiddo?’ 

Nothing like the dads on those sitcoms. 

Nothing like the dad in your dreams. The one that would actually be present in your life. 

Maybe it was hard for people to ask how you are or to even make conversation. 

Once you arrived at your dads' press junket, you watched your dad be swept away by a makeup artist. 

“Y/N!” his manager said walking up to you, “so good to see you! How you’ve been?” Or maybe it wasn’t that hard at all. 

“Okay,” you said with a small smile. 

“Come on, I’ve got to introduce you to Bella!” You knew who Bella was, well, you knew about them. You’ve never met them before, but you’ve heard stories, mostly from your father, and boy did he speak so highly of them. “Bella!” Scott called out, you watched as Bella walked towards the two of you. “Bella, this is Y/N, Pascal’s daughter!” 

“Pascal’s daughter?” Bella questioned, but then a second later realization struck. “Oh, I totally forgot Pedro has a daughter! It’s so nice to meet you!” 

You forced a smile on your face, even though deep inside you were breaking. Here was Bella, they were the ones that you felt replaced you. They were the ones that your father spoke so highly about as if it was his own child. Yet, you were so forgettable, why? Because you knew your father didn’t speak so highly about you. 

“It’s nice to meet you too,” you smiled. 

“Are you excited to see the show?” They asked. 

“Uh- yeah, I mean, I’m a big fan of the game.” 

“Oh yeah, Pedro told me you were,” They said. Someone began calling for Bella, it was time for their interview. They said a quick See you later before walking off. You walked over to the side and saw that your father was already sitting down on a chair next to Bella’s. 

Over the next few minutes, you watched as your father spoke among side Bella in an interview. You couldn’t help but feel jealous as your father laughed with Bella the way you wished he did with you. 

“Pedro, what made you take this role?” 

He laughs, “my nephews actually, they’re huge fans of the show and well, when I told them about the part they told me I had to take it.” 

You felt like your memories were lies, you remembered how your dad got the part and that moment was one of the only moments in which you felt like your dad actually cared. Now it was taken from you. All the moments you had left were from you were younger and you didn’t know how much longer you could hold onto them because you felt them slipping away. 

One of the crew told everyone to take a break while they set up for the next interview. You felt anger boiling up inside you, you couldn’t handle this any longer. You couldn’t handle watching Bella talk with your dad the way you wish you could or how he treated you the way you wished to be treated. It was all too much. 

“We have about fifteen minutes-” Your dad began to say to you, but you quickly pushed past him. “Y/N?” He called out. 

You ignored him, making your way towards the hallway, but Bella stepped in front of you, “Hey, Y/N, everything okay?” 

“How about you just stop stealing other people’s dads and maybe everything will be okay!” you snapped. You couldn’t believe that you snapped like that, it wasn’t your character and for a moment you felt embarrassed. 

“Y/N!” your dad yelled. 

But that embarrassment was quickly replaced with anger again. You ignored your dad as you walked into the hallway and out of the building. You heard the door open behind you, “What the hell is wrong with you?!” your dad exclaimed. 

“Me? What the hell is wrong with me!?” You yelled. “How about, what the hell is wrong with you!?” Your dad rolled his eyes, “You know what, forget it! I didn’t even want to be here today.” 

“Fine,” He snapped, “I told Javeria this was a bad idea anyway!” He pulled out his phone. 

“I fucking knew it! I knew you never wanted to spend time with me!” The anger took over and you didn’t try to stop it. 

“Well, how could I!? You’re so impossible to deal with!” He yelled. 

“Then it’s your fucking lucky day because you won’t have to deal with it much longer! I’m leaving!” you began walking away. 

“Don’t expect me to run after you,” He said. 

“I don’t!” you heard him sigh and then you heard the sound of the door opening and closing. He wasn’t running after you and you felt okay with that, for the moment. You walked yourself over to the bus stop, your adrenaline still running in your veins. Anger still boiling, you wanted to punch a wall or a tree, but you knew it wasn’t the wisest thing to do. 

The bus didn’t take long to arrive and luckily you had enough change in your pocket to make it home. Well, you had enough to go to the stop near your home. 

Your mind wandered to what had just happened with your dad, was it even worth calling him dad at this point? Because he didn’t feel like a father. 

A father was someone who was there for your children and he wasn’t. 

Well, he was, but then he wasn’t. He stopped. It felt like Thanos had snapped his fingers on your earth and your father turned to dust, only, he didn’t turn to dust, he just stopped showing up. 

He wasn’t there for your award ceremonies anymore, or any of your games. 

The spot next to your tia was now filled with a black silhouette in which you imagined him there. You began to see him more and more on the television and less and less in your own life. Sure, you were happy for him to achieve his dream, but at what cost? 

Well, your dad was the cost. 

You didn’t have your mother anymore, she died when you were young. The both of you had been involved in a drunk driver accident, which left you without a mother and soon without a father. You were left without a visible scar, but the doctors forgot to check about the invisible damage that could’ve been done. 

Did anyone think to check about the invisible damage? No. Now it felt like a dam being held together with tape. 

You felt the bus come to a stop, your stop. You got off and walked the rest of the way to Javeria’s house, your house. Once you arrived, you walked in, Javeria was surprised to see you home so soon and she had expected to see her brother follow a second after you, but was met with a door slam. 

“Y/N?” she asked as she got up from her spot on the couch, she watched as you tossed your keys into the dish on the coffee table. 

“Stop trying,” you said softly, tears in your eyes. “Please.” 

“What happened?” you just shook your head, walking up to your room and slamming the door once again. Javeria had a feeling what had happened, maybe she had meddled a little too much this time. She just wanted to see her brother and niece interact the way they used to. 

A couple of hours later, Javeria was met with a knock at the door. When she opened it, she saw her brother on the porch looking angry. “Is she here?” Javeria nodded as Pedro walked in, “You wouldn’t believe what your niece did, she snapped at Bella-” 

“Your daughter,” she corrected. 

“What?” 

“You said your niece when you should’ve said your daughter.” 

Pedro pinched the bridge of his nose, “She embarrassed me Javeria.” 

She shook her head, “For some reason, I don’t blame her for what she did.” 

“What?” Pedro asked in a confused manner. 

She sighed, “Pedro, don’t you see it?” 

“See what?” 

“You’re fucking loosing her, dammit! Ever since her mother died, you’ve acted like she doesn’t even exist for fucks sake!” She exclaimed. 

Pedro knew what he was doing. Was he doing it purposely? Kind of. Well, at first he wasn’t but then the pain of seeing you and being reminded every single day of what happened, he just couldn’t help it. He didn’t want a reminder of that day, and he didn’t want to hurt you either, but he didn’t stop himself. 

“She already doesn’t have a mom and now she feels like she doesn’t even have a dad. Fuck, Pedro, she lives with me. She only sees you a good three months out of the year! Do you even know that she has to go to therapy? And it’s not just because of the accident, but it’s because she feels like you don’t love her.” 

“Javeria-” 

“No, you need to listen to me because you keep shutting me out when I tell you this. She needs her father back. She needs you, Pedro. I’m trying my best to keep her from falling apart but she’s slipping through my hands.” 

Pedro’s heart began to race, and he sat down on the couch, head in his hands, “I didn’t mean to push her away.” 

“But you did. You pushed her so far away, she’s in a different state.” 

Pedro looked up at his sister with tears in his eyes, “She has to go to therapy because of me? Why didn’t you-” 

“I tried telling you.” 

Pedro didn’t argue with her on that because she was right. He had shut her out when it came to things about you. He didn’t want to hear it, he felt like knowing anything about you was too much pain because he saw more and more of your mom in you. 

“She even started self-harming at one point, we had to hide the knives and anything that she could potentially hurt herself with. She was a mess at one point and I somehow brought her back but I don’t know for how long.” Javeria had a lot to say and she finally was able to get it off her chest. “She needs her dad, Pedro and you’ve been acting like you don’t even want her.” 

“Fuck!” He exclaimed as he got up from the couch, “What do I do?” 

“Talk to her, Pedro, and actually talk to her.” 

Pedro nodded, “alright.” He made his way up the stairs and towards your room. He was about to knock when he heard voices on the other side of the door. He leaned his ear against the door. 

“I don’t know, Marciela,” he heard you say. “Sometime’s it feels like I’m just invisible.” He didn’t hear anything for a few seconds. “Maybe you’re right,” he heard you sigh. “Do you ever think about how things would be if you didn’t exist?” you stayed quiet for a moment, “Sometimes I think my dad would be happier if I didn’t exist,” you choked out. 

“I fucked up,” Pedro whispered to himself. He stepped away from the door. He couldn’t do it. He needed time to think first. He walked back down the stairs, “I-I…” he began, “I’m gonna pick her up from school tomorrow,” he then stated. 

“What happened?” 

“I just need to think,” he said as he left the house. 

~~ 

“Sometimes I think my dad would be happier if I didn’t exist,” you choked out. 

“Y/N, don’t say that,” Marciela softly said. She had been your best friend since elementary and she has always been the first person you called when you needed someone to just listen. 

“It feels like it,” you shrugged. “You should’ve seen the way he was with her, Mar.” 

“Things are gonna get better, Y/N. Just remember how he used to be.” 

“It just makes me feel worse,” you said. She sighed, you heard someone calling her name on the other end, “Is that your mom?” 

“Yeah, I have to go, I’ll see you at school tomorrow okay?” 

“Alright.” You ended the call. 

You spent the rest of the night in your room, Javeria checked on you multiple times and although you protested, you promised to keep the door open throughout the night. Just for her to feel like you weren’t doing anything that meant hurting yourself. 

The next day at school felt like any other day. You met up with Marciela at lunch and filled her in on what had happened after the call. When the lunch bell rang, you and Marciela walked together to your next class, you were lucky to have most classes with her. 

“Well, if it isn’t little Miss Pascal,” you heard a voice say from behind you. You rolled your eyes as you turned to face Jenna. Believe it or not, the duo was once a trio. Jenna was you and Marciela’s best friend up until middle school. “I saw your daddy on HBOmax last night.” 

“Please don’t call him that,” you cringed. 

She rolled her eyes, “It’s funny how he plays the father role so well on T.V. but when it comes to real life,” she chuckles, “doesn’t it make you jealous?” 

It did, but you weren’t gonna give her that satisfaction. “I don’t know, does it make you jealous that I at least have a dad?” 

“Y/N,” Marciela warned. 

“What did you say?” Jenna asked. 

“Did I stutter?” you asked Marciela before looking back over at Jenna, “I said does it make you jealous that I at least have a dad because you know, you’re dad left before you were even born.” Jenna glared at you, “Hey, you already know I’d fight back, but I never said I’d fight fair.” 

“You’re a little bitch, Y/N. No wonder your dad never wants to be around you.” 

“Takes a bitch to know a bitch, it’s no wonder your dad left,” you turned around to walk away, but you didn’t expect Jenna to lunge at you. You fell to the ground, landing on your nose, groaning in pain you turned around to face Jenna. She was quick with her punches catching you off guard. You held up your arms to cover your face, giving you a chance to push her to the ground. 

It didn’t take long for the crowd, which was quick to surround the two of you, to draw the attention of the teachers. One of them dragged Jenna away from you as she tried to lunge toward you again. 

“Principal's office, now!” the teacher yelled as he pulled Jenna by the arm. “The rest of you get to your classes!” 

Another teacher helped you up from the ground, and you lost your balance, “Whoa, easy,” he said as held your arms.

“Holy shit,” Marcela said as she looked at the blood on the floor. 

You already knew your nose was broken, just by the throbbing feeling you had. The teacher helped you walk to the nurse's office, and she was able to stabilize your nose until someone could get you to the ER. 

You knew that someone meant Javeria. You waited in the nurse's office for the receptionist to call Javeria. Not too long after you heard the door open, footsteps soon followed. You heard someone clear their throat. 

“It wasn’t my fault, Javeria,” you began to say, looking up, but it wasn’t Javeria. It was your dad. “Where’s Tia Javeria?” 

Pedro felt his heart drop at the sight of your nose and bruised eye. He sighed, opening his mouth to speak, but the door opened and Javeria walked in. 

“Oh my god,” she exclaimed at the sight of her niece. “We’re suing!” 

You and your dad couldn’t help but chuckle at her initial reaction, “We’re not suing.” 

She looked over at her brother in disbelief, “Her nose is gonna be all crooked! We’re suing.” 

Your eyes widened, “Wait, it is?” 

Pedro rolled his eyes, “No, it isn’t.” 

Javeria sighed, “Let’s get you to the E.R.” 

“But what abou-” 

“Already dealt with,” your dad said. You shrugged, following them out of the nurse's office. You noticed that they both came in separate cars, meaning that your dad came here on his own free will. “I got it,” you heard him say. You turned around to see Javeria giving him a look, it was a look only siblings knew. Pedro nodded at her.

“Alright, I’ll see you at home then,” you watched her walk up to her car. 

“Come on,” you heard your dad say. 

You expected the car ride to the E.R. to be quiet, but you were surprised. “Looks pretty bad,” he began to say. 

“She surprised me,” you responded. 

He hummed in response, “principal is giving you a few days to rest,” he began, “I thought you and Jenna were friends though.” 

“We were friends, but we had a falling out in middle school.” 

There was that feeling again. He really didn’t know you anymore. “Really?” You nodded. This whole time he thought everything was the same with you, but little did he realize you had grown up. 

He remained quiet for the rest of the ride to the E.R. mostly because he didn’t know what to say. He was still in shock about all the information he had found out in the past twenty-four hours and he didn’t know how to talk to you. 

Once at the E.R., he made sure to help you out of the truck. He also made sure that they checked to make sure you didn’t have a concussion. They did some X-Rays and CT Scans, all highly suggested by your dad who was feeling overly anxious and kept asking the nurse to make sure to do every test. 

You didn’t know how to feel as you watched your dad suddenly act like… like a dad. 

After all the tests, the doctor came in to let you know that you had a small concussion and your nose needed to be realigned. He explained that he would numb your nose before proceeding. 

Sitting down on the exam bed, you prepared yourself for the worst. You watched as a nurse came in with a tray, setting it down on the side. You took in a deep breath when you saw the needle. Your dad quickly noticed your behavior, “hey, hey, look at me,” he said gently. You looked at him, tears welling up in your eyes, “close your eyes.” He took a hold of your hand. 

You closed your eyes, “Now talk to me about anything,” he said, trying to distract you from what was going on. He nodded at the nurse, telling her to proceed. 

“Um, well, I learned Matilda on the guitar the other day,” you began to say, eyes still closed. 

“Matilda… isn’t that the Harry Styles song?” He asked as he gently rubbed your hand. 

“Yeah, Marecela suggested it, it’s one of her favorite songs.” 

“All done,” the nurse said. 

You opened your eyes, and you didn’t feel a thing. “I forget how good that technique works,” you said as you watched the nurse walk out of the room. 

“Used to do that with you all the time when you were a kid and I took you to the doctor.” 

“I remember,” you whispered. 

He opened his mouth to speak when the door opened and the doctor walked in. “Alright, let’s see how numb you are,” the doctor said. You weren’t completely numb yet, but the doctor took that time to explain the aftercare for your nose. Once he had done the alignment he placed a splint and some packing. He handed your dad a prescription for antibiotics and sent you on your way. 

You got back in your dad's car, “I gotta go somewhere first before we pick up your prescription,” he said as he put his seatbelt on. 

“Okay.” Part of you was trying to take in what had just happened, how you were going to live with a broken nose for the next couple of months. Then the other part was just amazed at how your dad was treating you so suddenly. You were surprised he wasn’t yelling at you for what had happened yesterday. 

He drove for a while but eventually turned into a parking lot that overlooked the ocean. He put the car in park and turned the car off. You didn’t say anything at first, unsure of what you were doing there. “When your mom died, I felt like my world was crashing down,” he began to say, “but you lived and I felt like maybe everything would be okay.” He sighed, “But you look so much like her, and you act like her, it’s like she copy and pasted.” 

You remained quiet, “you were not planned.” 

“Gee, thanks,” you said sarcastically 

“Let me finish,” he sighed. “Initially, I didn’t want kids, not yet anyway. But I wanted kids with her and so, I grew to the idea of kids and you were my world. Then your mom passed and it felt like you were just a reminder of pain.” 

“Why are you telling me this?” 

“Because I want you to understand what I was thinking.” 

“You want me to feel sorry for you?” 

“No, I want you to understand, that I couldn’t look at you without thinking of your mother so, I shut you out. I thought you as the kid that I never wanted-” 

“I know you never wanted me, you made it perfectly clear.” 

“Mija, please, just listen,” you sighed, “I was just trying to avoid grieving your mother and you were in the line of fire. So, I reverted back to thinking that you were unplanned and it didn’t matter, but it does matter. You were and always have been my whole world and I will never forgive myself for what I did to you.” You looked at your feet the entire time, not daring to look at him for fear that you would end up crying. You didn’t want to cry, not now anyway. “Mija,” he said gently. 

“What?” you hissed. 

“Can you look at me?” you shook your head, and he gently placed his hand on your chin, careful to not touch any bruises. He gently moved your head so you could look at him, “There she is.” 

You moved your head away from his hands, “No, you don’t get to just come back whenever you want and think it’ll be okay.” 

“I know.” 

“No, you don’t know!” you yelled, tears welling up in your eyes. “You left me when I needed you the most! You left and I didn’t know if it was because of me or because of Mom, you left without giving me a reason why! Did you forget about me!? Because it felt like I didn’t even exist to you!” 

Pedro felt like he didn’t have the right to speak, the hands of guilt crawled their way up his throat. He choked back his tears, he did this. 

“I felt like I lost both parents,” you choked. “And then I saw you treat Bella like she was your daughter and I kept thinking, that should be me.” Tears fell down your cheek, “I didn’t get it. I didn’t understand why you could treat her like that when I was right there begging for you to even give me a sliver of attention!” You felt like the doors to the car were caving in as you tried to take a deep breath. 

“Mija, breathe,” your dad tried to console you. 

You couldn’t catch your breath. Your hands shook as you felt your heart thudding in your chest. Not now, you thought. You held your hand against your chest. 

Pedro was quick to notice, he opened his door, jumped out of the car, and ran to your side of the car. He opened your door and quickly knelt down beside you, “Mija, breathe with me,” he said as he took a hold of your hand, “Inhala,” he inhaled, holding it for three seconds, “exhala.” He exhaled. “Do it with me.” 

You nodded as you inhaled with him and then exhaled. It took a few minutes for your breathing to go back to normal. 

“You needed me,” he still had your hands in his, “I’m sorry, Y/N. I don’t think I can ever make it up to you, but I am going to spend the rest of my life trying if you’ll let me.” It was all you wanted. He gently rolled up your sleeve, placing a soft touch on your scars. “I’m sorry if I am the reason these exist,” you watched as tears flowed down his cheeks. 

He then did something you didn’t expect him to do, he placed a gentle kiss on your wrist and it was enough for you. You let out the sob that was dying to be let out, and he pulled you in for an embrace, “I’m sorry, muñeca.” 

You wrapped your arms around him, “I don’t think I could ever forgive myself, but from here on out, it’s me and you, okay? I’m gonna change things, no more staying with Javeria. I’m sorry I did it in the first place, it was selfish of me. I want you to know that my life wouldn’t be better without you in it. My life would suck without you, Mija. I have just been a shitty dad and I’m sorry.” ” 

You wanted to say that it was okay, but it wasn’t. It wasn’t okay at all, but you were so used to always saying ‘it’s okay,’ that you had to tell yourself that this time it’s fine if you don’t say it. You could not say it and not feel guilty, especially if it’s not your fault. 

“What do you say? Are you willing to give your dad a second chance?” 

You needed your father and your heart would probably give him a million chances, even if it couldn’t handle it, but for now, you were willing to give him a second chance. You nodded, “Okay.” 

He pulled you in again for another embrace, this time he held on for as long as he could. Pedro wanted to make up for all the times you needed an embrace and he wasn’t there. 

After a while, Pedro got back into his side of the car. He took you to get your prescription before taking you back to Javerias. You both walked in with smiles on your faces causing Javeria to smile too. 

“Everything okay?” she asked. 

Pedro placed a small kiss on your temple, “Go grab your things.” You nodded as you ran up the stairs. Pedro waited until you were out of earshot range. 

“Well?” 

“I don’t know how she forgave me,” he choked back a sob. “I’m such a horrible father,” he sobbed.

“A horrible father wouldn’t have done what you just did,” Javeria stated as she pulled her brother in for an embrace. “Just promise me, you won’t break her heart again, I don’t think she can handle it, Pedro.” 

“I won’t,” he let out a deep breath, wiping away his tears. “She’s gonna stay with me tonight, we’ll come back for the rest of things later.” 

She smiled, “That’s fine.” She looked at her brother in awe, “I’m proud of you, Pedro.” 

He smiled at her, “Thank you.” 

You came running down the stairs with a bag of your essentials. “Is that everything?” Javeria asked. 

“Yeah, it’s just the main stuff,” you explained. She nodded, and you said a quick goodbye, knowing that you’ll be back the next day. 

The car ride to your dad's house was different than the past few car rides. This time he had music playing, “So, we’re still friends with Marcela?” And he asked questions. 

“Yes, best friends.” 

“What about Monica?” 

You shrugged, “We talk a little bit.” 

He sighed, “You mentioned playing the guitar, when did you pick that up?” 

“Beginning of the year, I was a bit bored,” you smiled genuinely. Your mind still felt weary about the situation but you wanted to trust your heart for once. You ached for the presence of your father in your life and now was finally your chance and you weren’t going to let it go. 

Pedro Pascal Taglist: @tracysnook  @cilliansangel  @change-the-world-someday  @graciegoeskrazy @oggystine93 @t-stark35 @twkobii @picklehat3r @welcometomyworldwithoutrules @white-wolf-buckaroo @steadydragongalaxy @rooting4theantihero @soupinasock @tracysnook @Ilovehotdadsandshit @dzaga890 @marantha @emmasauger

[moiravim]

Found part 2

Dad!Din Djarin x Teen!GN!yn part 2

Summary: Din bonding with his children; Grogu and YN.

it had been just a few days since Din had taken you in. He was quiet at first but slowly started warming up to you.

One of the first things you noticed about him was how protective he was of you. He took you and Grogu's wellbeing very seriously.

You had gotten sick and are currently in 'bed rest'. It was miserable. You were sweating and your head was aching worst than you'd ever felt before.

You could tell Din was stressed by the way he was acting. He wouldn't let you get up and would do everything for you. He was already like this, but now that your sick it's ten times worst.

He babies you but you just want to get back to normal again. You've been bored out of your mind.

Grogu and you had become close friends. Although you were very different, you both shared a father figure. That was the main cause of your sibling-like relationship.

It was also nice being around someone who wasn't an adult. Someone you could play around and get into trouble with.

You room was very small and had a mattress placed in the corner along with a few toys scattered and a basket of clothes. A few hours ago Din had tucked you and Grogu in bed and the two of you were supposed to be sleeping.

But currently you and Grogu were playing catch. Grogu was using the force while you played how you used to see other kids play.

Din walked in to check on you and when he realized you were playing he said; "Hey, stop that. Grogu, you need to save your energy. And YN. your supposed to be sleeping. Go to bed." He says as he takes the ball from you.

You frown and lay back down. "How much longer?" You ask in a miserable voice. He looks down at you and responds; "just a few more days. It'll go by faster if you sleep."

You nod your head and close your eyes. Din grabs your blanket and tucks you in before picking up Grogu and leaving the room.

[triplehmunson]

𝑷𝑶𝑽: Your boyfriend Pedro had to go on a trip for the recordings of the movie "Triple Frontier" after about two hours of recording Pedro decides to call you to tell you that he misses you and out of nowhere his friend Oscar appears, who is your platonic love since you were little girl when you met him in the movie "Mojave" and when you saw him you literally screamed with excitement and your boyfriend Pedro jokingly tells you:

P: ah no 𝒎𝒊 𝒂𝒎𝒐𝒓 he is mine so I’m sorry

and you just can't stop laughing….

[piastrify]

im so depressed now, that was beutiful

fight the tide

▹— joel miller x platonic!reader

▹— summary: you face the consequences of going to seattle

▹— a/n: hello, this ended up being different to what i had planned. i hope yall enjoy anyway. its very angsty. very sad. at least to me. be careful with what you read. mind the warnings. love you.

▹— warnings: MAJOR TLOU 2 SPOILERS, suicidal ideation, or thinking about dying, almost hoping to die, major character death (referenced), canon-typical violence, eg murder, descriptions of blood / being covered in blood, kinda religious imagery / talks of divinity (no explicit religion mentioned), hints at a possible romance with jesse

▹— taglist: @rhymingtree @sleepygraves @wnstice (everything!) @auggiesolovey @just-kaylaa @evyiione @lemonlaides @fariylixie0915  @faceache111 @randomhoex @canpillowscry @pedropascalsrealgf @star-wars-lover @coolchick333 @soobsdior @rvjaa @sunflowersdrop @definitely-not-a-seagull-i-swear @miss-celestial-being (pedro)

MASTERLIST

∘₊✧───── ───── ───── ─────✧₊∘

Setting off from Jackson was a distant memory, by now. It was hazed over, an image in your mind that didn’t seem to fit into reality, no matter how you tried it.

The past few weeks didn’t seem real to you, either.

More than once, you had found yourself waiting to wake up. As if all of this could be some sort of bad dream. A nightmare that you couldn’t escape, no matter how many times you pinched and clawed at yourself, trying to figure out how to prove that this wasn’t real.

Because, really, how could it be? This world, this city, it didn’t feel like it could be true. You didn’t feel like you, and this certainly didn’t feel like it was your life. Wherever you looked, the terrain showed the aftermath of a rampage.

Bodies strewn across the ground, puddles of red dripping down curbs, down cars, down buildings, down your hands. It was beneath your fingernails, caked into your hair, drying on your clothes. For a moment, you thought it was yours. It was the only plausible reason for why you were feeling so empty, wasn’t it? The only explanation for why your heart felt as if it would burst at any given moment.

This rampage was an act of such violence, such rage, it seemed unfathomable to you. You couldn’t remember a time where you had felt something so deeply that it presented as destruction. As a massacre.

That was the word for this, too. Massacre. All of these bodies were once people, once held love and life and the ability to hurt and kill others, just as you did. And when you looked closer, when you looked at their guns and their knives, the bows and the arrows, you knew they had been trying to kill you.

It made sense.

You didn’t want it to, but it did.

These people had tried to kill you, had tried to slaughter you, and they had ended up dead for it. It wasn’t the first time that had happened, either. Joel had killed more people than you could count, just for the crime of trying to bring you harm. It made sense that he would do it again.

“Joel?” You called, your voice echoing in the empty surroundings, bouncing off of bodies and weapons, off of the tangible feeling of death that hung in the air.

Your chest was heaving, breath entering and leaving your lungs so rapidly that it didn’t have time to supply the oxygen you so desperately needed. You hadn’t noticed how unsteady your breathing was, until you had spoken, until you had called out for Joel. It made you feel dizzy, all of a sudden, like everything was hitting you all at once.

For a moment, you didn’t notice that he hadn’t answered you.

But his silence lingered, and the only thing you could hear through it was the sound of your own panicking breaths.

That feeling from earlier — the one of your heart, which had been feeling as if it would burst at any given moment, revealed itself as a choked sob. It jumped out of your throat when you opened your mouth to call for Joel again.

Your devastation didn’t register, for more than a moment. Until you remembered why you were here, why there was a gun in your hand, empty of ammunition. When you looked around, you didn't find Joel. Instead, all you found was blood and death and your machete lay on the ground, a dent in the grass, covered in blood and gore.

There was something hanging over your head, something which felt as if it was holding your head underwater. It felt like the water was forcing its way down your throat, into your lungs, filling them up until all you could do was choke, heave on the lack of breath. Your head was exploding, pressure against the sides of your skull, pushing out, out, out, like a fungus was bursting through you. Only the vague feeling of your hand pressing against your head reassured you that you weren’t Infected.

The memories flashed before your eyes, distorting the image of destruction ahead of you, filling your mind with reality. Joel. Cracked skull, insides out. The unrelenting taste of iron on your tongue, your teeth. Getting on a horse in Jackson, and leaving. Fighting your way through Infected, people, even past Tommy. All in your search for vengeance, for Abby.

And all it had led you to was before you, laid out in death.

Did this make you a monster? Was it evil? You’re not sure if you believe in such a thing anymore, but if you did, you think it would look like a woman, braided hair, golf club raised in the air. But there’s this nagging feeling at the base of your skull, asking you, are you better?

You don’t know what it means. Are you better? Than what? Because of this? You want to ask Joel, but when you turn, he’s still there. Still lay out on concrete, skull scattered around the room, blood staining your skin.

It’s all you can think of. It’s all you can see. Even in the bodies around you, the people that you killed, you see a flash of white, a splatter of blood, and it’s all Joel. There’s the imprint of his boot in the grass, the sound of his voice in the wind, but the only heartbeat you can hear is your own.

Your knees press into the grass, and you stain your jeans with blood, but it feels soft. Softer than the concrete in that basement, softer than the frozen dirt in front of his gravestone. It’s welcoming, or something like it, and your heart aches with it.

A sound breaks through the air, pierces through the air that carries Joel’s voice, and it takes you more than a moment of your throat aching to realise it’s you. And there’s disappointment in that, you realise, that the only person here is you. Nobody is here to kill you, and nobody is here to protect you.

The sound coming from you doesn’t sound like your voice, doesn’t have any familiarity to you. It doesn’t convey words, but rather something harsher, something deeper, a sound which traverses language and time. It breaks these barriers, and empties the chest of something ancient, something eternal.

It wavers as time passes, it comes and goes, much like your recognition. Sometimes, you’re here, belting out something that doesn’t fit into words, and then you’re there, screaming out for mercy that never comes. And all you can hear is Joel, and he’s yelling at you, to you, but you can’t tell what he’s saying.

All you can see is his lips spelling something that he couldn’t say, that you couldn’t translate. You want to tell him you love him. You want to scream at him for going down there. You want him to pull you away from these corpses, but he can’t, and neither can you.

No matter how hard you try, there’s nothing you can do to pull yourself up, to overcome that weight that continues to drown you. It presses down on you until your nose is against the grass, and all you can smell is iron and dirt.

You stay there, one palm pressed against the machete that had been resting on the ground, the other gripping the dirt, for what seems like eternity. There’s no escape from it, nowhere you can turn to pull yourself from this mourning, this hell. And you know that nobody is coming to save you.

It sends a chill down your spine — tingling and bringing feeling back to limbs that had long-since turned numb, the realisation that you are going to end up just like Joel.

Here, against the ground, reduced to something less than human.

And — like Joel — there’s no fighting it.

If Abby approached, golf club raised to the heavens, you would accept it. You would welcome it.

Because surely, whatever would be waiting you, it would be better than this. This endless moment of suffering, of pain and grief so deep it encompasses your whole being. You wonder—hope that Joel would be waiting for you.

You feel guilty, a moment later, because you know that Joel deserves to rest—whatever that meant. And you also know that he had never done that, when he was around you. It was selfish to hope for him to be waiting for you, to hope that he would put whatever was awaiting him on hold, all for you.

Joel had been waiting to die for a long, long time.

Ever since Sarah.

And that fact sends a fresh wave of guilt through you, as if you could hold on to any more emotion, because Sarah was his daughter. She was everything he had wanted, since the moment she was born. And he had been waiting to join her. He had waited for Tommy, for Tess, and then for you and Ellie.

Maybe, Sarah sent Abby for him.

Maybe she got tired of waiting for her dad, whilst he feigned dad for two orphans, left alone in the bitter end of the world.

You try to think of her like that. Some sort of angel, a gift sent from Sarah, all to give Joel the mercy of death. To give him the easy way out. Because Joel didn’t have a choice about dying, Abby had made sure of that, so he couldn’t feel an ounce of guilt for leaving you and Ellie and Tommy to pick up the pieces, to carry his body home to an empty house, a dip in the earth.

It made sense to you, somehow.

Abby seemed so… unmovable.

She was like the force of nature. Nothing you, or Joel, or anyone, had done would’ve stopped her from doing what she did.

If you thought of her like this, as something divine, something above yourself, it was easier. It was easier to forgive yourself for failing to stop her, and now, for failing to end her.

But it also makes the guilt so much heavier.

And you don’t know how you can carry it, anymore.

Because if she was that, if she was something like a divine intervention, then you were doing everything that Joel had never wanted, for nothing. This, right here, this explosion of death, this blood, staining your hands, was what Joel had tried to steer you away from.

He didn’t want you to turn out like him.

Angry, burned, covered in blood.

Monstrous.

He was covered in the scent of stale blood, of death so old it had decayed to nothing, to earth and ash and life reborn. He was stained with it. Distorted by it. It had made his vision red, for as long as he could remember.

Joel didn’t want that for you.

Joel didn’t want you to end up here, knelt in the grass, drenched in blood and sweat, in guts and gore and everything wrong with this world.

And there’s even more guilt in that knowledge. You’re disappointing him. You can practically hear his voice ringing through the air, asking you what you were doing, why you were doing it. You could hear him telling you that he’s not worth all of this. It hurts that you can’t tell him otherwise. If he was here, you could have screamed at him, told him he was worth everything. But he’s not.

How do you carry that around with you? How can you? Are you supposed to drag the weight of Joel’s dead body behind you for the rest of your life?

He would tell you to let him go. He would tell you to live your life. But Joel had never really understood just what he meant to you, to everybody. He could never quite grasp the concept that he was loved, that he was one of the reasons you got up in the morning, one of the reasons you always fought to go home.

The problem is—you don’t want to let him go.

Your hand curls around the grass beneath it, sticky with blood, as if you could physically hold on to him. More than anything, you’re worried about losing the memories. If you let go of Joel, if you let his death fade to the back of your mind, would his life follow? Would you start to forget everything he had done for you? Everything he had meant to you?

Would you forget the sound of his laughter? The smile that only appeared on occasions, which lit up his entire face? The hug he greeted you with when you came home after a particularly hard day? The embarrassing talk he gave you about liking people your age? The feeling of having a father?

If you could, you would stay in those memories forever.

A ghost in your own past, haunting the man who had gone somewhere you couldn’t quite bring yourself to follow. You would go through all of that, the good and the bad, all over again, if it meant you could stay with Joel. Because despite everything, all of the things you had lived through, Joel Miller had become your home.

How could he expect you to let go of that? How could you be okay with that? After the life that you had led, you deserved to go home. It was hard not to resent Joel for expecting you to be okay with letting him go—divine intervention or not.

And you know, that if the tables were turned, if it were you who had been buried, if it was Joel who was here right now, he wouldn’t let you go. He would hunt Abby down, and he would make her suffer for what she had done, because Joel Miller was a force of nature, too.

Either way, he would have to find her.

So, shouldn’t you?

You think that you need to know. You have to find out if she’s this unearthly being that you have made her out to be. You need to know if you could’ve stopped her. If Joel could be alive, right here, right now.

There’s something so poetic about it all, you think.

Maybe, if you were in a better headspace, you could’ve figured it out. But really, what use was poetry in this world?

You’re working up the courage, the ability, to move, when you hear the footsteps crunching gravel just behind you. They’re heavy, purposeful, and you realise you’re still weeping, still screaming out for someone who can’t come. You think—hope—that this is Abby, here to put an end to this suffering. To these unending questions.

But there’s a warm hand against your back, a moment later, and no golf club swung at your skull.

“I’ve got ya, kiddo.” A voice says to you, hands grasping your shoulders, the twang of an accent so familiar that you’re reaching out, eyes closed, waiting for the person to reach back. When they do, your eyes open, but it’s not who you thought it was. You hadn’t died on this grass, and Joel wasn’t here to get you. Instead, Tommy stood in his place, his hands cleaner than your own.

When you look around, you wonder if you’re the monster that people will tell their children about. The person who ripped people to shreds, who tore them apart for no reason other than a quest for vengeance, one that wasn’t even fulfilled. Maybe, you think, you will become a cautionary tale. A warning for others. An example of what not to become, even in the apocalypse.

This was senseless. It was a slaughter.

All of these people are dead, and you don’t even know their names. They fought to protect themselves and the people around them, something of a team, maybe even a family, all because you are angry, and you are hurt, and you miss your dad. How many of these people have families at home? Families who will never see them again, because of you.

You know you’re not a divine being.

There was no otherworldly reason for your massacre. There was nobody behind a curtain, choosing your actions. No—there was just you.

What right did you have to decide these people should die? What right did you have to end their lives? Was one man—one dead man—truly worth this? Did he deserve to be the reason for your murderous rampage? Would he have wanted this? Would he be proud?

“C‘mere.” Tommy says, kneeling on the ground beside you, and shifting you until he could hold you tightly in his arms. If you don’t focus so much, if you let your mind wander, this could be Joel. It could be your dad hugging you, staining his clothes with the blood you’re drowning in. They’re similar enough, brothers, that you can imagine it is.

He’s holding you together.

“We need to get you out of here.” Tommy tells you, breaking the illusion you had been hoping to live in forever. You know he’s being patient with you — you can tell with every gust of wind that rustles the grass below you. Each one could bring more people, more bodies, yet Tommy refuses to rush you. Instead, he holds you tightly, like the cracks in your surface may lead to you bursting.

You suppose he’s right to worry.

His brother is dead. Joel is dead. And here he is, holding you in one piece, as if that wind could shatter you.

Selfishly, you don’t want him to be patient, or gentle, or kind. You want Tommy to show you some kind of mercy, to bring you peace of mind, of soul. But he can’t, unless he has some kind of insight that you don’t, unless he has ripped Abby apart and seen the divinity in her creation.

“C’mon,” Jesse says then, appearing out of seemingly nowhere. You hadn’t realised he was even nearby. Didn’t hear him approaching, though that could’ve been because of the unearthly wailing that had surrounded you. “I’m sorry,” He says, hand wiping at your face where it rests against Tommy’s shoulder. “We have to go. We have to go now. I’m sorry.”

And he does sound sorry—god, he sounds more apologetic than you had ever heard him.

You don’t know if he’s sorry for making you get up, for making you face the world again, or if he’s sorry that you’re even here, sorry that Joel is dead. You don’t know which you would prefer. You try to decide, and realise not long after that the two of them had pulled you to your feet, hands gripping you, waiting for you to hold yourself up.

“Jesse,” You choke out, reaching for him, as if seeing him for the first time. His hands are holding your own before you can even get out another word, uncaring of the blood that covers them. He squeezes once, twice, thrice, before he lets go to press his hands to your cheeks, grounding you, almost.

“It’s okay.” He says, and you can see in his eyes that he knows it’s a lie.

He takes your hand, pats your cheek, his forehead against your own for no more than a moment, before he’s letting Tommy take over, letting the man soothe his fatherly instincts. Uncle Tommy. You imagine a life where you would have called him that.

Tommy leads you away.

Away from the bodies, the gore, the guilt, hopefully. He grips onto you the whole way, pulls you along every time you stumble, holds you up whenever you long to fall. All the way until you reach a theatre, where Ellie and Dina have been bunkered, one of them tells you. We’re going home.

You wonder if they’re going to bury you in the ground, beside Joel. Home. You think it sounds nice.

[outoftheseine]

- JOEL MILLER FIC RECS -

(most of these fics are age-gap romance. some fics have mature content (+18) so minors please respect the authors and do not interact). also please beware of the canon trigger warnings (violence, language, guns, death, blood etc.))

part 2 | main masterlist

SERIES - MULTI-CHAPTERS

one thing i am missing • joel miller x fem!reader

↳ by @joelscruff (fluff, smut)

to do the right thing • joel miller x fem!reader

↳ by @pedgeitopascal (very angsty, tw: abortion and ppd, childbirth)

if the door wasn't shut • joel miller x platonic!reader

↳ by @heartpascal (very angsty)

joel miller x feral!fem!reader

↳ by @ohraicodoll (angst, lots of blood, sometimes gore, reader has a given nickname, smut)

if he wanted to • joel miller x fem!reader

↳ by @sl-ut (angsty, tw: mentions of suicide and sa, drug use)

twenty years later • joel miller x fem!reader

↳ by @yelena-bellova (angst)

weakness • joel miller x fem!reader part two

↳ by @pedgeitopascal (fluff, little angst, smut)

the stable girl • joel miller x fem!reader

↳ by @guess-my-next-obsession (mature, angst, fluff)

friendly fire • joel miller x fem!reader

↳ by @the-ginger-hedge-witch (angst, smut)

uneven odds • joel miller x fem!reader

↳ by @theetherealbloom (angst, fluff, smut, anxiety)

burning in a hopeless dream • joel miller x fem!reader

↳ by @tightjeansjavi (angst, implied smut)

ONE-SHOTS/BLURBS

from love and life • joel miller x fem!reader

↳ by @bubbles-for-all-of-us (child birth, fluff)

adjustments • joel miller x fem!teacher!reader

by @softlyspector (fluff, smut, mentions of dead loved ones, tw: mentions of suicide)

kiss it better • joel miller x fem!reader

↳ by @morningbluebell (mostly fluff)

why can't i breathe? • joel miller x fem!reader

↳ by @oliviajdjarin (fluff, flustered joel)

no time to die • joel miller x fem!reader

↳ by @davosmymaster (very angsty, hurt/comfort, chef's kiss, so good)

she's a gun • joel miller x fem!reader

↳ by @cowgurrrl (fluff)

darlin' • joel miller x fem!reader

↳ by @charnelhouse (angst, tw: sexual assault and mentions of suicide, smut, hurt/comfort)

alone and foresaken • joel miller x fem!reader

↳ by @chelseasdagger (smut, very good smut actually)

once again in your arms • joel miller x fem!reader

↳ by @foli-vora (angst, tw: loss of a child, fluff)

too late • joel miller x reader

↳ by @alloftheimagines (angst, injuries, hurt/comfort)

don't let me drown • joel miller x reader

↳ by @alloftheimagines (angst, hurt/comfort, tw: drowning, some nudity but nothing explicit)

nightmares • joel miller x fem!reader

↳ by @youlightmeupfinn (tw: panic attacks, nightmare, hurt/comfort)

saving • joel miller x fem!reader

↳ by @youlightmeupfinn (angst, hurt/comfort, joel being an asshole)

a house in nebraska • joel miller x fem!reader

↳ by @highdramas (angsty, heavy feeling of nostalgia, mentions of sexual interactions)

spring breeze • joel miller x fem!reader

↳ by @thedgeoftheuniverse (fluff, hurt/comfort)

for you, anything • joel miller x reader

↳ by @mellowsaturns (fluff, sick!reader, domesticty)

perfectly wrong • joel miller x fem!reader

↳ by @psychedelic-ink (enemies to lovers, smut)

domesticty looks good on you • joel miller x reader

↳ by @girlscull (sooo fluffy)

ghosts of his past • joel miller x reader

↳ by @lol-im-done (very angsty, made me cry)

soft touches • joel miller x reader

↳ by @theeoriginals (fluff, hurt/comfort)

close call • joel miller x reader

↳ by @rogueonestan (hurt/comfort, angst)

first kill • joel miller x reader

↳ by @alloftheimagines (angst, hurt/comfort)

illusory light • joel miller x fem!reader

↳ by @lavendertales (angst, injuries, fluff)

playing house • joel miller x reader

↳ by @me-and-your-husband (some angst, smut)

try to love me, honey please • joel miller x reader

↳ by @peterhollandkait (hurt/comfort, angst, sad and soft joel, mentions of blood and death)

confused warmth • joel miller x fem!reader

↳ by @rise-my-angel (angst, hurt/comfort, fluff, smut)

soft spot • joel miller x gn!reader

↳ by @orangevtae (very fluffy, some hurt/comfort, sunshine x grumpy)

love in the time of cordyceps • joel millet x fem! reader

↳ by @sameheart-sameblood (angst, fluff, mentions of blood)

one bed • joel miller x fem!reader

↳ by @frannyzooey (good old one bed trope, explicit)

sleeping bag • joel miller x reader

↳ by @quin-ns (very fluffy)

lavender haze • joel miller x pregnant!fem!reader

↳ by @forever-rogue (soo fluffy, made my heart flutter)

intent • joel miller x fem!reader

↳ by @forever-rogue (angst, joel is an asshole, fluff)

[marvelwitchergilmore]

Just Wanted To Hear Your Voice

Summary: Joel Miller x Fe!Reader -> You and Joel by no means are 'friends', but when things go wrong, you find comfort in hearing his voice.

Disclaimer: Mentions of murder, death, swearing, blood, gunshot wounds. Enemies to lovers, I guess. Single moms hitting on Joel. Hint of fake dating. Age-gap but not really specified. Angst, fluff/smaller intimate moments, Ellie calls Joel 'dad' and they have a cute moment. This is kind of a long one. Not Proof Read.

Yourself and Joel were by no means friends. 

In fact, there hadn’t really been a time since you’d both met that you hadn’t knowingly hated each other. He found you too “new” – whatever the hell that meant. And you found him to be, well, an asshole. 

You’d both first met through mutual friends. If you could call them that. You’d call Frank a friend. Bill was just…well, all being said he was a decent guy. He just didn’t take much to people. 

A small lunch had been put on, allowing a nicer air of discussion around the topics of smuggling and trading. Initially, Joel had been…nice. As nice as he could be for an asshole. 

But when he found out you were the one that the suppliers talked through, he practically ran in the other direction. 

“She’s too new, Frank.”

Frank shook his head. “Just give her a chance. I promise. She knows more about this than you think.”

Walking around the corner, pretending not to have been eavesdropping, you held up a bottle of wine. “Figured this would go nice with the food?”

Frank smiled. Bill yelled. 

“Did you take that from my-”

Keeping eye contact with Joel as you handed the bottle over to Frank, you yelled back to Bill. “Relax. I brought it with me. Your precious collection is safe.”

Bill relaxed after that and Frank went to find a bottle opener. And you stood with Joel in the sunny path. 

“If you don’t want my suppliers, you can just say so to my face. But have it be based on their product. Not on how “new” you think I am. Whatever the hell that means.” Turning away, you walked back to the dinner table and acted as if nothing happened. 

Ultimately, Joel agreed – however, to a smaller shipment. 

“This is a trial run. If you get caught-”

“We won’t.”

For a moment, Joel looked confused, but then seemed to convince himself of something else and the conversation was cleared up before you all went your separate ways. 

Except, the trial shipment never made it to Joel. At least, not all of it. 

“You're short.”

“Trust goes both ways, Miller.” 

Joel didn’t miss the way you were covered in scratches and bruises that were freshly forming. It had shocked him when he rounded the corner and found you considering he didn’t think you were also a delivery courier. 

With a heavy sigh, Joel pocketed the goods and handed over his items before he turned to walk away. 

“Wait.”

He stopped and looked back at you where he found you pulling an old card from your jacket pocket. “My details. In case you need to reach me.”

Joel took them reluctantly. “Thanks.” Then he nodded to your head. “You’re bleeding.”

“I’ll be fine.”

Then you walked away. But he called after you. “Hey, don’t you need mine?”

“Relax, Miller. I know how to reach you.”

Each meeting after that never got less colder. It was a business exchange being made with minimal trust via delivery system. 

And then one day you simply dropped off the face of the planet when you were meant to be making another delivery to him in Boston. 

“I knew it! She was too new!”

“Joel.”

“I warned Frank. I told him she would never-”

“She’s been good so far.” Tess explained. “Maybe she’s just having to lay low for a day or two. Security has gotten tighter with the fireflies going around.”

That was true but Joel couldn’t shake the feeling. Then one afternoon, your voice came over the radio. 

“Wait a sec. He’s here.”

Tess stood from the chair and handed the receiver over to Joel who had just walked through the door. 

“It’s Y/n.” Tess mouthed and the buried fury began to erupt inside of Joel. 

“Yeah.”

“Joel?” Your voice crackled over the radio. 

“You were meant to be here three days ago.”

“I know. But I’m not coming.”

“What?” Joel’s fury was starting to become white hot. “No, we had a deal.”

“I am sorry, Joel.”

He breathed out. “So what are you gonna do? Run with our supplies? Why call?”

You fell silent for a moment before your voice crackled back over the radio. “Guess I just wanted to hear your voice. I am sorry. To both of you.”

Then you signed off. 

And he never heard from you again. 

Until he found himself in need of an extra pair of hands at the house Tommy and Maria had set him and Ellie up in. As he stood on his porch in the morning sunlight, he heard a familiar set of tires pull up against his driveway. 

First, Tommy stepped out of the passenger side. “Hey, figured you might need some extra panels. The ones around here have mostly rotted away with the winter.”

Then the driver stepped out. And Joel had to check he was still alive. 

“You’ve gotta be fucking kidding me.” You had beaten Joel to his own thoughts. 

“Tommy, what the fuck is she doing here?”

Rounding his truck with the extra panels over his shoulder, Tommy looked between both yourself and Joel. “You’ve both met?”

“Yeah, I ran a couple supplies to him a while back.”

“Run off with them more like. What the fuck are you doing here?”

Placing your sunglasses into your shirt pocket, you climbed the stairs of his porch. “Wow, warm welcome. If you must know, I moved here. And I’m guessing you have, too.”

Tommy piped up. “Yeah, Y/n found us after-”

You shot a look at Tommy and he shut up. “After I left Frank and Bill. They left a note for you, if you’ve seen them.”

Joel nodded. “I got it.”

“Good.” And for a moment, the short silence was awkward. “So what can I do?”

“Fuck all.”

Tommy slapped his brother on the shoulder. “She can help fix this porch before Ellie falls through the rotting wood.”

“I can do it myself.”

You looked around and then back at Joel. “Couple extra hands can’t hurt.”

You were right. Joel hated that you were right. And the only reason why he didn’t completely kick you from his home was because the image of Ellie’s foot slipping through one of the wooden slats earlier that morning kept flashing through his mind. 

You were banned early on from his porch, left to measure and cut wooden slats for one side of the porch whilst Tommy worked on the one between yourself and Joel, and Joel worked on the opposite side. 

Most of it was finished by the time Ellie came strolling back up the driveway. “Joel, you won’t believe what happened today- Hi.”

You looked at Ellie and smiled. “Hi.”

From where Ellie was standing, you were a friend of Tommy’s. “I’m Ellie.”

You went to shake Ellie’s hand and introduce yourself when Joel came around the corner. “I’m-”

“Nobody. Ellie, get inside.”

From the look Joel gave at the sight of you, Ellie didn’t question his order. But she did question his judgement. So, just before he shut the door behind her, she turned back to him. 

“Be nice.”

“I am nice.”

Ellie looked around. “Has she been helping all day?”

Joel couldn’t bring himself to voice the answer so just nodded. 

“Then be nice.”

Joel just turned her around and lightly pushed her inside. “There’s some soup on the stove.”

Ellie was quick to turn back around just before he shut the door. “I’ve got homework and I…I don’t know…”

Joel just nodded. “I’ll help you.”

Ellie smiled. “Thank you. And be nice.”

An hour or so later, Joel had finally gotten rid of you, leaving him and Tommy with Ellie as she sat at the kitchen table trying to figure out her homework. 

Which Joel and Tommy were no help with.

“When would I ever need this shit?”

“Ellie,” Joel sighed. “Language.”

“When would I ever need this stuff?”

Joel nodded. “Better.” Then he turned to Tommy. 

“Don’t ask me. I don’t know how a fucking thing is taught anymore.”

“Well do you know who does?” Ellie asked. 

“Can’t you ask your teacher?” Joel asked but Ellie shook her head. “Why not?”

“She’s…scary.”

Joel held back a laugh. “She’s scary?”

Ellie didn’t know how else to put it. “She got mad because I didn’t do fractions how she wanted me, too.”

“Did you get the right answer?”

She nodded. “Still got mad though.”

Joel looked to Tommy. “How can fractions change?”

Tommy shrugged. “Beats me. But I do think I know someone who might be able to help. Promise they’re not scary. She tutors a couple of the kids in the square. I can ask if she can drop by later on.”

“Really?”

Tommy nodded. “Sure, kid.”

It was a day later when Joel got a knock to his front door and found you standing there. 

“What the fuck are you-”

You held back your smile. “Doing here? Guess I just wanted to hear your voice again.”

Joel wasn’t amused. You held your hand up. “I’m just here to help your daughter. Trouble with homework?”

“You’re the tutor?”

You nodded. “I’m the tutor.”

“You’re a smuggler.”

“I was a teacher before I was a smuggler.”

Then Ellie’s voice called out. “Joel! Who is it?” 

Ellie appeared by his side, holding the door open wider. “Oh, hi.”

“Ellie, right?”

She nodded. “Yeah.”

“I’m Y/n. I’m, hopefully,” you looked from Joel and back to Ellie, “going to be your new tutor.”

“Promise you won’t get mad if I don’t do it your way?”

You nodded. “A lot of kids, and parents, learn differently from the way your teacher wants people to learn. Promise I won’t get mad.”

“It’s nice to meet you.” Then Ellie looked at her dad and nudged him. “Joel…”

“What?”

“Let her in. I need her help.”

Reluctantly, Joel let you inside your home. “Come on, kitchen’s this way.”

You followed Ellie through her home and towards where she’d set up her homework station and you sat opposite her whilst Joel brought in a couple of old items from the garage outside and laid them on the kitchen island. 

By the looks of it, the things he was ‘fixing’, weren’t in desperate necessity of a new working life. Especially considering he only ‘worked’ on them when you looked in his direction. 

“Is he always like this?” You whispered to Ellie across the table. Ellie looked to her dad. 

“Sometimes. Do you two know each other or something?”

You nodded. “Or something.”

“Aren’t you meant to be talking about contemporary…normal…analytics or something.”

You looked at Joel and smiled. “Or something.” Then you turned back to Ellie when he finally looked you in the eye. 

“Let’s try the next line.”

You were in Joel’s home for another hour before you looked at your watch. “I’ve got to go, but I run a small class in the dance hall every Tuesday if you want to join us next week? I think you’d find it fun. You don’t even have to talk if you don’t want to. But it can provide some good insight into what you’re doing at school.”

“Why can’t you be one of the teachers?”

You laughed. “I’ve got my hands full helping others in town. But if your teacher is ever sick, I’ll step in.”

Ellie thought she already knew the answer. “How often does that happen?”

“Not very often.”

Ellie grimaced. 

“But still, come on Tuesday. And if you hate it, you don’t have to come again.”

“Okay.”

Joel stood. “I’ll walk you out.”

And he did so, walking you to the end of his driveway towards your truck. “Thank you, for helping her.”

You shook your head. “Don’t mention it.”

“This doesn’t mean we’re okay.”

You gave a flat smile. “Joel, I’m just helping your daughter. We don’t even have to interact outside of you dropping her off at my classes in the week. I get you don’t like me, but that doesn’t mean you have to actively hate me. I’m just trying to help.”

“Like you helped me in Boston?”

You didn’t say anything in reply to that. “Goodnight, Joel. Give Ellie this.”

He opened the paper. “What is it?”

“It’s a schedule. And my radio code. If she needs my help, she knows where to find me.”

You and Joel didn’t talk much, if at all, after that. Ellie attended your classes when they were on and much to his chagrin, Ellie had found a friend in you. 

Why was it out of all the people, in all the towns, in all the worlds, it had to be Jackson where you were? And why did you have to be one of the first people Ellie made friends with?

But one afternoon as he was sitting by the kitchen table, tuning up his guitar, he got a sense of deja vu. 

The radio in the corner of the kitchen crackled and your voice sounded through its speakers. 

“Why are you calling?”

“Just wanted to hear your voice.” You replied. “Joel, it’s Ellie.”

His heart dropped. “What? Is she okay?” He’d completely forgotten she was with you after school before she’d head to the bar to walk up with Tommy. 

“She’s fine, but I think you should come down here. She needs her dad.”

Joel was inside the barn hall calling out for you and Ellie when he entered one of the back rooms that had your name and a large poster that looked like it had been decorated by some of the school kids taped on the outside. 

As Joel walked inside, he found you and Ellie sat on a bench, your arm over her shoulder. And when you saw him, you whispered something to Ellie before she looked around and found Joel. 

Immediately, she ran over to him and crushed him with a hug. “Hey, hey, it’s okay. Babygirl, I’ve got you. What happened?”

Joel managed to pull away a little so he could get a look at her face. “What’s going on?”

“I’m really sorry.”

“Joel, can I speak to you for a moment? Ellie, want to grab your things?”

Ellie looked to you and nodded, forcing herself from Joel’s embrace as she walked back to the bench to grab her bag and books. 

“What’s going on?”

You sighed and spoke quietly. “It’s best if you ask Ellie about it but some asshole kid made a comment about Ellie and she stood her ground. As a teacher, I can’t condone her actions. I can’t condone what the kid said, either. But off the record, she was right to stand up for herself and I’m glad she did.”

Joel had to read between the lines from what you said and once Ellie was back at his side, he gave you a curt nod and headed for the door. He didn’t get any answers from Ellie until the next morning at the breakfast table when, in the open silence of the morning, she finally explained what happened. 

“I…I know I’m not your daughter, Joel. But as families go, you’re the closest thing I’ve got to one. Some kid,” Ellie named him. “He said some things about me. About me having a family. A…about…about having a dad. Eventually, I lost it and pinned him to one of the posts and Y/n had to break it up. I…I didn’t stick around after that but she came to find me later. I know I shouldn’t have attacked him. He deserved it but I know I shouldn’t have…I just want to tell you I’m sorry and that if Tommy has to do something or if I have to leave, I will-”

Joel shook his head. “No. No, you did right. And, Ellie?”

She looked at him. 

“You’re my daughter in every other way that counts. And if you want me to be your dad…I know we’re not blood but, if you see me as your dad…if you say I’m your dad, that’s okay. You’re my family, too.”

Ellie didn’t know what to say exactly so, looking down at her hands, she nodded trying to will the tears away. “Mmh, y-yeah. I…I’d like that.”

Then Joel smiled before standing and cradling his arms around his daughter. “And you don’t have to leave. Y/n’s on your side, too.”

“You really should be nicer to her. She’s a good person, Joel. I know something happened back in Boston but…are you going to hold it against her forever?”

Joel thought about it for a while. He probably would be thinking about it for a while longer, too. You had done what you had said. You had helped. You were helping. 

“How about I make us some breakfast? Eggs?”

Ellie nodded. 

Joel stood with a smile, kissing the top of her head quickly before turning around. “Sunny side up or scrambled?”

“Scrambled.”

“Coming up. You brushed your teeth?”

Ellie shook her head and stood. “I’ll be back.”

Just as she got to the kitchen entrance, she stopped herself and turned back. “Hey…dad?”

Joel turned around to face her as if it was the most natural thing in the world until he realised what she’d finally called him. “Yeah?”

Ellie let the moment settle. “Thank you.”

Joel just nodded before waving the spatula at her. “Go on, brush your teeth. And maybe run a brush through your hair.”

Ellie laughed a little before disappearing upstairs leaving Joel to finish cooking breakfast with a faint smile on his face. Never in his whole life had he ever imagined hearing someone call him “dad” again, but it washed over him like a fresh wave. 

Then he remembered what she had told him. 

What Ellie had said about you. 

He never thought he’d be called “dad” again. Maybe some things could change for the better after all. He’d just need to learn to trust you more. Trust you in a way that didn’t have the end result be the same as Boston. 

It took Joel a week to approach you. 

During that week, you saw him across the square. He walked her to your lessons and waited for her every day. By day four, he stood a little closer to the building until one afternoon, when you thought everyone had left, his voice rang through your classroom. 

No “hello”, no coughing, no calling of your name to get your attention. Just…

“Thank you.”

You internally swore at yourself for jumping the way you did. Looking around the room, your brain let itself relax when you realised you were correct in your initial thought of who the voice belonged to. Not the rest of the people your head named after him. 

“Joel.” You breathed, a hand against your chest. Then you fixed yourself. 

Standing straighter with a couple books cradled in your arm, you turned and faced him properly. 

Joel felt a little awkward but considering you seemed to not mention how he’d scared you, he didn’t bother to mention it either. 

“Thank you,” he repeated. “Ellie..told me how you helped her, so I just…didn’t want it to go unnoticed.”

Never in your life had you heard Joel say so much as a nice thing towards you. To others, it was few and far between. But to you; not so much. 

You didn’t know how to take it exactly. “I appreciate that, I do. But that’s not why I did it.”

Ellie had told him the rest of the story when she came back downstairs for breakfast. How you’d broken up the fight, called out the student and warned the rest of the class before dismissing them. And how you’d spoken to her when you found her. You didn’t make her feel scared or “shit” as Ellie had put it every so gracefully to him. And if he was being honest, Ellie’s love for actual school was much better even just after a few weeks with you. 

“She’s a good kid, Joel.” You told him. “I don’t pretend to know what either of you went through to get here. But despite whatever did happen, she’s a good kid. She, nor anyone else, deserved to be treated the way she did. She stood up for herself and I’m proud of her for that. And I hope you are, too.”

Joel could only nod. “I am.”

You nodded in agreement. “Good.” You went to turn away to collect the rest of the books but then quickly turned back around. “Oh, here. Let me give you this.”

Joel was about to walk himself before you called out so, standing in the middle of the room a little worried about what you were going to give him, he watched as you rushed towards your desk and picked up a piece of paper.

Walking over, you held it out to him. “We’re having a parent-teacher night next week. Just gives the parents a chance to talk about the kids and see their work for this year. They say it’s mandatory but I do hope you’ll show up.”

Rubbing his jaw, Joel read the page. “Sure.”

“Good. Don’t tell Ellie but I plan on showing a couple of her school books. She’s a smart kid.”

“Smart mouth, too.” 

You laughed a little. “That, too.”

But all in all Joel agreed. “I’ll be there.”

“Goodnight, Joel.”

“Yeah, night.” Joel reminded himself that he had to leave and finally made his way towards the door. 

Yet he stopped by the door and looked back to where you went back to collecting the rest of the books and he couldn’t help but feel his mind was changing on you. He couldn’t place why but the fact Ellie liked you was a start. 

By the time Parent-Teacher night rolled around, Joel found himself being bossed around by Ellie as he got dressed. 

“Put on the green one!” Ellie shouted up the stairs. 

“What?”

“The green shirt. Put that one on.”

“Why?”

“Just do it!”

Joel grumbled but did as he was told. And once he was showered and dressed, Ellie practically shoved him out of the door. “Come on, we’re gonna be late!”

“Since when did you become so eager to get to school? I usually have to drag you out of bed.”

“I know but tonight’s important.” Ellie laughed. “Come on.”

Joel found himself laughing, too as he locked up before they both headed towards his truck. Maybe they could have walked but Joel had a feeling by the time the night had finished, Ellie would be about ready to fall asleep. 

And when they did finally walk inside, Joel looked around before he spotted a familiar face in you. And then you spotted him and waved. Ellie waved back. 

Then Joel was greeted by Ellie’s teacher. You chuckled as you watched them both step back and recoil a little. Like father, like daughter. 

“Fuck.” They both swore under their breath.

“Mr Miller.”

Joel started getting flashbacks of his middle school principal who seemed to have a vendetta against him and Tommy.

“Ellie.”

Ellie nodded, moving to stand behind Joel a little. “Mrs Davis.”

“Mr Miller, I was hoping to speak to you about Ellie. She’s been, let’s say, a little harsh in her language since she got here. And, despite her improving grades, she hadn’t quite been grasping the concept of how we complete work-”

Joel and Ellie got another shock when you suddenly appeared from behind Mrs Davis, except this was one of pleasant surprises. 

“Mrs Davis-”

“Please, do not interrupt-”

“Frankie’s parents are asking to speak to you personally.” That seemed to change Mrs Davis’ tune. 

“Oh, right. Um, please…please excuse me.” You pointed her in the direction of Frankie and his parents and replaced where she stood and only spoke when she was finally out of ear-shot. 

“Sorry about her. And please ignore everything she said.”

Joel raised his brow. “Everything?”

You both looked at Ellie and then back at each other. “Okay, maybe not everything. But she has been swearing less.”

Joel gave a ‘dad’ look to Ellie but she tried to hold back her smile as she held up her hands. “Hey, she said less.” 

He rolled his eyes. 

“Ellie, I hope you don’t mind but I’ve decided to show some of your work.”

“Really?”

She seemed shocked, rather than horrified. You nodded. “Both of you follow me?”

They did and once you’d all reach one of the middle tables, you held one of the books out to Joel. 

“Holy shit.” Ellie whispered. Joel nearly shut the book to give her another look but she apologised and studied the books you’d laid out. 

“Ellie, do you mind giving your dad and I a minute?”

Ellie looked between you both before giving a slight smile and nodding. “Okay.” 

Then she disappeared into the crowd. 

“How is she?” Joel asked, looking through Ellie’s books. 

“She’s good. The swearing could use a bit of an improvement,” you smiled a little and Joel finally met your eyes. You tried your best to avoid taking a mental picture or keeping a written memory of how he looked. “She’s doing well, Joel. She’s even starting to make friends. It’s taking her a while to trust people, but she’s getting there like the rest of us.”

Joel’s stare softened for a moment. 

You forced yourself to look away and back at her books. “She needs a bit of help with her maths and science but we’re working on that in our sessions. But she’s excelling at history.”

“There’s a museum not too far away. I was thinking about taking her to see it.”

You graced him with another smile. “I think she’d really enjoy that, Joel.”

He nodded, feeling pleased at your agreement. 

“Look, I just need to go and speak to a couple other parents but, feel free to stay here as long as you’d like. We…we have the kids write in a diary every week. Just jotting down what they want to work on, or what they want help with in class. Some kids even write short stories and things. I think you’d like what Ellie did.”

Lifting the diary from underneath the pile, you handed it over to Joel. 

“Last couple of pages.”

With a smile, you left him alone. 

Joel opened it up. There was the usual. Reviews of books they’d read in class. What Ellie wanted help with (science), what she enjoyed (history). Joel found himself smiling as he read through the comments. He could hear her voice in his head as he did so. 

Then he got to the back couple of pages. 

It was different sketches of their home. Of their windows, porch, backyard. Then small notes; things he’d told her. Things to remember when playing the guitar, how to fix the porch, what things are in a car. Just small notes of information she believed important to her. 

You didn’t know how long you’d left Joel to fend for himself. You knew the minute he walked in that all the single moms had their radars switched on. They already tried to get his attention whenever he walked past the school during the day. But this Joel was freshly showered and wasn’t covered in layers of heavy clothing. He had a green shirt that made his eyes stand out more than usual, his hair softening as it dried in the warmth of the building. 

You didn’t know how long you’d left him alone, knowing it wouldn’t take long for the single moms to make their move. But when you were wading deep through double digits of parent-talks, Ellie came and found you. 

“I think Joel needs your help.”

You saw when Ellie was looking and held back a short laugh. As Joel managed to get out of the grasp of one woman, another one popped up out of nowhere. And then another one. And another. And another. 

“I tried but they kinda swarmed over and I got pushed out of the crowd.”

You chuckled watching the comedy play out in front of your eyes as Joel tried his best to escape. 

“Okay, give me a minute.”

“I think it’ll take longer than that but, good luck.”

Making your way over, you called out to him before forcing yourself through the crowd. A few women were about to scold you for doing so until they realised it was you. The teacher. Apparently in search of Joel, the parent. 

“Help me.”

Taking Joel by the hand, you drew him in front of you before taking him by the shoulders. “Sorry, ladies but I need to talk with Mr Miller for a moment.”

Practically directing him out of the crowd, you beckoned Ellie over and she immediately pushed around the crowd to get to both you and Joel. You and Ellie looked back to find the women still standing waiting for him to come back. 

“I don’t know about you two but I could use a drink.”

“Yes.” Ellie agreed completely. 

“Don’t you have work?”

“I’ve spoken to enough parents tonight. Mrs Davis will only speak to them after me anyway. Want that drink, or would you like for me to throw you back into the pack?”

“Anything but the second one.”

“Can I have one?”

“No.” Both you and Joel said before he added. “You can have a soda.”

Grabbing your bag, you showed Joel and Ellie to the back door of the school and you all took the long way round the building to get towards the bar. 

“I’ll go and tell Tommy you’re coming.” Ellie took off running. Joel tried to shout back but she just called back. 

“Be safe! I know!”

“That kid is gonna be the death of me, I swear.”

You laughed, slowing your steps as you and Joel were finally far enough away from the school. 

“Thank you for showing me her work. And the other stuff. Kinda made my night.”

“It wasn’t the single moms asking you a thousand questions that did it?”

Joel chuckled. “Thanks for that, too.”

“Oh, you’ll need to thank Ellie for that one. She came and got me. Who knows, if she didn’t, you could have drowned in phone numbers and radio stations.”

Joel tried his best to laugh it off. But you disagreed. 

“Don’t knock it. Hot and handsome single dads are few and far between in this town.”

Joel couldn’t help but repeat your words. “Hot and handsome.”

You rolled your eyes, trying to hide your slight embarrassment of letting your inner thoughts slip. “Alright.”

“No, no. Please. Tell me more of these hot and handsome single dads.”

“You’re hilarious. I hope you know how funny you are.”

“Why?” Joel asked. “Does that make me hotter?”

You rolled your eyes, trying your best to hide your smile. “Okay. Don’t let it go to your head, Miller.”

“Too late. It’s already there.” Joel reached for the door handle of the bar and held it open for you. “Come on.”

“Thanks.”

Entering, you found the place a little quieter than usual before you both met Ellie at the bar and Tommy made his way over. 

“Here you go.”

“I already ordered for you.” Ellie told you both. “I didn’t know what you drank but Tommy said he remembered.”

You thanked them both before accepting Joel’s invitation to sit with them at the bar. Joel sat in the corner, his back resting against the wall whilst you sat between both him and Ellie as she moved up quickly before you could take your original seat. 

And for the first time, you both talked. 

At first, it was just about a few things around town. Joel asked you about how you got into teaching, or at least, why you taught tutor sessions but not lessons at the school. You told him the truth. Day one of you arriving here and meeting Mrs Davis, you knew you didn’t want to be dictated by her rules that were already scaring the kids enough into thinking they were back with FEDRA. They needed help learning and a safe space to do so. That was where you could help. 

Then you told him you were sorry about Tess. He tensed for a while, unsure of what to say or how to react. 

“I know she meant a lot to you.”

Conversation flowed for a little while longer than a distraction was provided as Ellie disappeared to the toilet and a group of moms walked in through the front door. 

Then Joel ducked and somehow tried to shrink himself in the corner of the bar. “Shit.”

You laughed. “Oh please, they won’t hate you for it. In fact it just adds to the chasing element. More than anything they’ll be hating me for dragging you away for some ‘alone time’.”

“Why? Because I’m hot and handsome?”

“I regret saying it now.”

“They’re your words, Darlin’.”

You tried to ignore what his words and accent did to you, and tried to focus on the fact that one of the moms was making their way towards both of you. 

“Where’s Ellie?”

“There was a line, she’s probably still in it.” You told him. “Relax, once she comes out, she’ll see that you’re uncomfortable and you can both go home.”

“You can see I’m uncomfortable.”

“Joel.” You leveled with him. “You look like you’re about to run out of your own skin. How could you have been a smuggler in the QZ for so long but be scared of a single mom? Just talked to her.”

“Where are you going?” 

You were about to leave when Joel reached out for you. “Going to get Ellie.”

Joel looked at the mom making her way over. She was getting closer. “You said it yourself that she’ll be able to see we’re uncomfortable.”

“We’re?” You questioned. “Joel-”

But you couldn’t say anymore than that because the mom had arrived beside both of you and Joel had tugged you back by your shirt to stand with him. 

“Emma, hi.”

She smiled at both of you. “Hi, um, I was wondering if I could speak to Joel. We didn’t really get a chance to finish our conversation since, you know, you came and kinda dragged him away.”

“Yeah,” you laughed. “Sorry about that, it’s just…” You looked at Joel hoping he’d maybe butt into the conversation. “We had to talk about his daughter.”

“I didn’t see you leaving with any of the other parents,” she mentioned to you. 

Joel finally spoke up after clearing his throat. “I, uh, well, Ellie actually…invited her out with us.”

“Ellie did?” Emma seemed shocked. 

“I did what?”

Both you and Joel seemed more than relieved to see her appear from behind Emma. 

Emma looked from Ellie to Joel and then to you, back to Ellie and then she smiled. “I was just hoping to talk with your dad for a minute if that’s okay?”

Taking a quick look at her dad to see him subtly shake his head, Ellie half-faked a yawn. 

“We were actually just about to leave.”

“But your drink is still half full.” 

“That’s, uh, that’s Tommy’s. Anyway, we’d better be off. Ellie?”

As they got halfway to the door, you called after them, making something up to Emma. “I need to tell you about next week’s homework-”

The doors shut behind you and you rushed to join Joel and Ellie. 

“Who was she?” Ellie asked. 

“A woman.”

“She was trying to hit on Joel.”

Ellie looked at you. “Hit on Joel or hit you to get to Joel?”

“Both probably.”

Then something strange happened. You and Joel looked at each other and then started to laugh. 

On the way back to the school, you explained to Ellie everything that had happened and she started to laugh with both of you before swearing to protect Joel when and where he needed to be.

“Hey, can I drop you off home?” 

You hitched a thumb over your shoulder. “I’m just down here. But thanks.”

Then from the car Ellie called out. “Dad! Let’s go!”

Joel laughed and looked back at you where he found a light smile on your face. He tried to ignore what it made him feel. 

“You better go, before she comes to hit me to get to you.”

Joel nodded, laughing a little at that. “Okay. Goodnight.”

“Goodnight, Joel.”

As Joel drove back home, Ellie quickly falling asleep in the passenger seat, but not before saying; “I told you she was a good person.” leaving him to roll his eyes lightly and agree, he found himself thinking over what he had been feeling since he saw you show up beside Mrs Davis. 

Maybe his feelings for you were starting to change more than he had expected. 

And they only continued to change over the following months. 

Three months later, Joel found himself as your actual friend. Between your tutoring sessions with Ellie, and being forced to work together by Tommy when he was a couple hands short for a couple jobs that needed doing around town, you’d both become friends. 

And he’d learnt to trust you. And you had learnt to trust him. 

From running the lunch tables in the school every Tuesday and Thursday and Friday together, to taking on a couple of patrol shifts on the weekends together, you and Joel earned each other's trust. 

And between all of that, you had somehow become Joel’s shield from the rest of the single mothers in the town that did not wish to hide their already obvious crush on Joel. 

Until that shield began to crack. 

“I heard she left them for dead. Why would anyone want to be with someone like that…he deserves so much better.”

“Left them for dead, more like killed them for everything. And for what? So she can come and teach our kids and steal our men.”

“I’ve tried talking to Maria but she must have her claws in her, too. She doesn’t want to listen to reason. Joel doesn’t deserve her. Nobody does. The stories people tell. And she doesn’t deny them.”

Tommy leaned over the bar. “Don’t listen to them.”

“Hard not to when gossip about you changes every hour.” 

“Have you even told Joel what happened?”

You shook your head. 

“Why not?”

“I’m happy where I’m at with him. I’m able to help Ellie without her dad wishing me dead because I bailed on a trade.”

Tommy didn’t have the chance to reply because another mom came and sat beside you. “He doesn’t deserve you, you know. He has the choice of a lot of women in this town, and he chooses you? Why?”

You sighed. “Like I told Emma, and Ashely and Tracy and every other mom in your friend group. Joel and I are not dating. We are not a thing. If you want to talk to him, then go ahead but do not blame me for something that I am not doing. And if Joel doesn’t want to talk to you, then maybe take the hint.”

“Why wouldn’t he want to talk to us? What have you been telling him?”

You looked across the bar and shouted to Tommy. “Schedule’s in the glasses!”

“Oh, okay. Thanks!”

And you stood up. But the mom gripped onto your arm to stop you from walking away. 

“We know the truth about you and sooner or later, he’ll come to his senses.”

Ripping your arm from her grasp, you made your way out of the doors and down the square. As much and as hard as you tried to forget what she had said, the stories, the gossip and what she had said to you continued to play on your mind. 

But a week later, none of that mattered. At least for you. For Joel and Ellie, it meant something different. 

When Joel had gotten up that morning, he went about his routine. Getting into the shower, getting dressed, waking Ellie up, getting his work gear ready, knocking on Ellie’s door once again, making breakfast, knocking on her door a third time before she swung it open and stumbled out of her bedroom and into the bathroom. Eating breakfast with his daughter before driving her to school and heading to work. 

Except, when he finished work and went to pick Ellie up from the group tutor session after school, he found her sitting outside the doors already waiting for him. 

“How was school?”

“Y/n didn’t turn up.”

Joel was confused. “What?”

“I waited for her to, but she didn’t.”

Joel checked the radio. “Did she cancel the session?”

Ellie shook her head. “We were meant to go over the new science homework.”

“Did you try to find Tommy?”

“Couldn’t find him. The dude in the bar said he was on patrol.”

Joel hummed, trying his best to make sure his mind remained focused. Maybe you’d just gotten caught up doing another job. You wouldn’t have forgotten about the kids. 

But before he could drive away, there was an uproar of noise coming from the main gates where Tommy rode in as quickly as he could before coming to an abrupt halt. 

“What’s going on?”

Joel switched off the engine and unbuckled his seatbelt. “Stay here.”

Ellie did as she was told but wound down the widow in hopes she’d be able to hear what was being said. 

“Tommy!”

“Joel! I don’t know what happened but-”

“Who is it?”

Then Tommy went from frantic to unnaturally calm. “It’s Y/n.”

Then Joel saw and slowly made his way over. Your body was slung over the back of a horse before being dragged onto a stretcher. And for a second, Joel saw the worst. He thought you were dead. 

“She should be okay if we can get her fixed.”

“What happened? Tommy!”

Tommy joined his brother as you were taken away. “I-I don’t know. She was covering a shift. We were meant to be back an hour ago. But when she didn’t turn up with her partner, I went to look for her. I just found her like that.”

“Dad?” Ellie had gotten out of the car. 

“Get back in the car!”

“But-”

“Now, Ellie.”

She just nodded and made her way back. 

“Go home, Joel. There’s nothing you can do for her right now.” Those were Tommy’s last words before Maria came running out of one of the town buildings and towards her husband whose hands were covered in patches of blood. 

“Is she going to be okay?” Ellie asked, her face pale, as Joel got back into the truck. 

“I don’t know.”

You spent the next three days unconscious and Joel spent his time trying to work out what had happened and why. You hadn’t been bitten. You’d been shot. 

Joel had also spent three days hearing the whispers around town, hoping to hear any updates on your condition. He couldn’t bring himself to go and see you, and neither could Ellie. 

But rather than updates, he heard…stories. 

“It’s karma, though, don’t you think?”

“What they say about her? Everything she did? Maybe someone came to get revenge.”

“Maybe it was just self-defence.”

“Would she really do that here?”

“Maybe one of them followed her here and waited for her. After all, she never volunteered for that job.”

“Would you, though? Hunting those things? I couldn’t do it.”

“She's probably just looking for some sympathy. Not getting anywhere with Tommy’s brother – I heard they’ve got a past.”

“A past or a past? Because if I had a past with that man, I’d be making sure it was present and future, too.”

“Would you shoot yourself to make sure of that?”

The woman laughed. “Honey, for a piece of him? I’d do almost anything.”

Over the days, he heard more than just that. Of stories about you and your past before you came to Wyoming. Some were nicer than others, but many were…if he hadn’t somehow become your friend over the last few months, he would have been saying the same thing. So…was it still the same? Were you still hiding something? He still didn’t know what had happened back in Boston. All he knew was that you had practically disappeared off the face of the earth. 

When people like you sold his trade, it was usually to someone else. But he hadn’t heard anything. No extra sale. No new traders. Just complete silence. 

He had thought about asking you a few times. Part of him, he guessed, still didn’t trust you. Especially since Ellie was now involved, too. 

It wasn’t until a week later that Joel could bring himself to come and see you. They’d placed you inside the doctor’s surgery. You still hadn’t woken up but the doctors that were in the town seemed a little more hopeful for you pulling through. 

“She’s still young, her body should heal like it did before.”

Joel had to do a double take. “Before?”

The doctor nodded and rested the chart at the end of the bed. “When she arrived here, she collapsed just outside the gates. Thankfully, I was on patrol that day – otherwise they would have shot her. They thought she’d been bitten but…” 

The doctor gave a heavy sigh and they both looked back at you before he continued. Joel looked back at the doctor. 

“I’ve seen enough of those bites in my life to know the difference between that and a bullet wound.”

“D’you know who shot her?”

The doctor shook his head. “She never could bring herself to tell me. But when Tommy walked in, she looked like she’d pass out again. She didn’t talk for three days after that…then…one day she just opened up. Tommy was the only one she’d talk to and I’d figure he’s the only one who knows that whole story.”

If his brother knew the whole story, why didn’t he ever say anything?

“I suspect she’ll be waking up soon, ‘might be nice if someone is here this time.”

Joel just nodded after a while, realising what the Doctor was asking of him. He’d stay. You were alone last time. You were probably terrified to go through what you did for, as far as he knew, a second time. You shouldn’t have to be alone when you’d wake up, too. 

Except, as he sat by your bed, he’d gathered more questions in his head than he had answers. 

It took you a while before you could bring yourself to open your eyes, almost like you’d had the deepest sleep of your life and you weren’t ready to get up yet. Beneath your hands and legs you became familiar with the feeling of bedsheets. 

Slowly your fingertips felt for some kind of grip. Some kind of notion that you weren’t still left in the dirt, buried between the trees and moss alone. One hand provided you relief. Bedsheets. The other…

Opening your eyes, the brightness cut through your vision until you finally blinked them open and found Joel’s hand in yours. 

Carefully looking around the room, you recognised where you were. Only, the last time you were in the same bed, in the same room, you had woken to find yourself alone. 

“Take it easy. Tommy…he found you and brought you back.”

You swallowed but your throat felt like it had been attacked by a grater. “How…how long have I been out?”

“Little over a week.”

You relaxed back into the pillows and closed your eyes, forgetting your hand was enclosed in Joel’s. 

“Do you remember what happened?”

It took you a moment but you eventually nodded. “The doc…he told me this isn’t the first time you’ve been shot…”

Opening your eyes, your gaze met Joel’s. He looked curious…concerned. 

“What happened before you got here?” You waited for his true question. And you didn’t have to wait long. 

“What happened back in Boston?”

You figured he’d ask you one day. You just hadn’t expected it to be like this. Joel let you take your time. Blinking back the oncoming tears. Trying to control your breathing. Trying to control your fears from hitting you at full force. 

“I was with my team.” You took your time explaining what had happened. When you’d realised Tommy was Joel’s brother, you explained what you could to him. You could deal with Joel hating you for what you’d done. You would have felt the same. But you didn’t want the one place you might have been able to call a home to be thrown away on conspiracy. 

“We’d run the route a thousand times. I’d done it on my own for years. But, one night it just poured with rain. Buckets and buckets could have been filled. I remember finding new lakes in parks when I got out, but…umm…”

You swallowed thickly and bit back the tears. 

“We were only a couple miles out of Boston so we found shelter. Checked it over. It was clear. We would have been safe for the night. A couple of us stayed on watch for a while but I must have fallen asleep,” tears came to your eyes and a few escaped down your cheeks. “Because…”

You didn’t know where from but you gathered enough strength to bring your voice back, even if only for a short moment. 

“Because when I woke, half of my team was missing. A couple of our supplies had been thrown around the place. Grabbed my gun, woke the others and started searching the building. We found the rest of our team on one of the upper floors. One…one of my guys got bit. But he didn’t want to…he didn’t want to die. He’d convinced himself he wasn’t infected and when the others saw, I guess they tried to do something about it but he got…he got one over on them.”

Joel waited for you to continue but then noticed the twitching in your side. You sat up quickly and tried to lift your t-shirt. “It…ahh.” 

You closed your eyes from the pain and squeezed Joel’s hand just before he stood up and reached for some of the balm the doctor had made and left by your bedside. 

Rounding the bed, Joel sat beside you. “Come here.”

“Joel, it hurts.”

“I know, I know. Can I lift your shirt?”

You nodded and hummed in pain, letting his fingers slowly lift it up. “This might sting, but it’s gonna help.”

You heard Joel open up a metal screw-top tin before he gathered some of it on his fingers and rubbed it gently around and over your healing wound. You let out a small gasp and covered grunt in pain as the hand that had previously been closed in reached for his arm. 

“I’m sorry. I know.”

You tried to concentrate on Joel’s continuous movements as he rubbed the balm into your skin. It was less itchy, and it was cooling down a little. The pain in your side was still there but it was becoming bearable. 

“The infection came over him pretty quickly.” Joel’s fingers stalled for a moment before he continued, making sure he wasn’t causing more harm than good. 

You could finally open your eyes again. 

“It all happened so fast. I guess one of us moved and before I knew it…bullets were flying everywhere. I must have gotten caught in them then, but I can’t be sure. I just started shooting and he dropped the gun but then…Joel, he started biting. And I just…I didn’t know what to do. People were trying to help him, trying to help those he was attacking. I just fired. For a moment I thought I could get him out, maybe lose him outside and get back in time. Find another way to you. But he was too fast.”

As your tears fell down your cheek, you hadn’t realised Joel had stopped rubbing the balm into your side and was holding you steady whilst his hand held your face, his thumb tracing the tears away. 

You finally looked at him. “I shot them all, Joel. He’d bitten them all. Some in the neck, others in the arm. A few hours and my team that knew every smuggling route, that knew every way into a QZ without being detected, that…that were my family. I tried to wait. Hoped that maybe it was just a bullet graze. That they’d be okay but…just as one turned, so did the others…”

Joel didn’t know fully what to do. If he had known…

He pulled you close to him, kissing your temple before holding you against him. You didn’t know how long he held you for, but you knew he never let you go. He never left your side. He didn’t even try to. 

“I don’t know how long it was before I radioed through to you. All I remember was seeing a lot of blood on the floor and wondering why it was down my clothes. But I was glad to hear your voice. Even if you did hate me for bailing on you.” You eventually explained. “I’d managed to get some supplies to take with me. Fixed what I could of my wounds and prayed I’d make it some place. For a while I was okay, my wound was healing. But then I guess I ran into the wrong people. Some guy decided to start firing and I got hit again. I don’t know how long I ran for but the last thing I remembered was hearing horses.”

“Does Tommy know all of this?”

“Parts, but not all.” 

Joel wondered whether or not he should tell you about what he’d heard over the last few days. “People…they’ve been talking since you came back…what happened when you went out?”

You shook your head. “I don’t know. I just remember hitting something and then a sharp pain. I told my partner to meet me at the bottom of the hill. Guess the others finished the same as him.”

“What do you want me to tell Ellie?”

“Just tell her I’ll be okay. She doesn’t need to know the whole story yet.”

“Too late.”

Joel and you looked towards the door and found Ellie standing in the hallway. “Mrs Davis let us out early. I wanted to come and see you. And…I’m glad you’re okay. And as far as I’m concerned, everyone can go fuck themselves.”

“Ellie. What have I told you about eavesdropping?” Joel asked her as she walked inside. 

“Not…to do it.” She answered slowly. “But you know I’m right. You’ve heard the stories, too.”

“Stories?”

Joel sighed and turned back to you. “People in this town…they’ve got nothing better to do but gossip about what happened to you before you came here.”

Ellie jumped into the chair where Joel had previously been sat. “Yeah, and some of em’ are wild.”

You looked between her and Joel. “Like what?”

Joel looked from his daughter to you and sighed. “Most of them aren’t so nice, but…” Silently, Joel gave his permission to Ellie to tell you.

“There’s one that says you’re some bigwigs daughter who ran away to run his kingdom but then you got overthrown by a rebel group so now you’re waiting here before you can take your kingdom back over.”

You raised your brows. “Wow.”

“And someone else has said you’re actually a fortune teller that is secretly training us to help you and your psychic army to take over the cordyceps and make them human again.”

That one made you laugh a little. 

“People have nothing better to do with their time.” Joel told you. 

You shook your head. “It’s okay. The people…” you looked at Joel and Ellie. “The people that need to know the truth already know. Nobody else matters.”

Joel smiled at you before looking over at his daughter. “Go and find the doc so he can look her over.”

Ellie nodded before pulling herself out of the chair and spinning out of the door. “I’m really glad you’re okay, Y/n.”

You smiled before looking back at Joel finding him looking at you, too. Then you found your fingers tracing his own. 

“I’m really glad you were here with me when I woke up.”

Joel smiled before lifting his hand and lightly brushing the few stray hairs from your face before his eyes found yours. 

“Guess I just wanted to be the first to hear your voice.” 

You smiled, hearing your own words echoed back to you from him. You leaned into his touch before you felt yourself lean forward a little only to have his lips meet yours in a tender kiss. 

With a little confidence growing around your heart, you leaned in a little closer, feeling Joel’s fingers dig a little into your hair as he pulled you closer, and into a deeper kiss. 

“Hey, the kid told me- whoa.” Tommy stalled in his tracks and covered his eyes. “Uh, sorry. I…I guess you’re okay. Uh, yeah. I-I’m just gonna-” 

Tommy looked around himself, making sure the door he came through was still there and accessible for him to leave through it. “Good–Good door frame job.” He tapped it twice. “I-I’ll remember to knock on next time.”

You chuckled a little, leaning into Joel the same as he did with you as he watched his brother become 12 again and leave through the door. 

“I guess we should wait until we’re actually alone before Ellie comes running through her and gets the shock of her life.”

Joel chuckled. “I guess you’re right.”

But he couldn’t help himself. Kissing you once more, you both made sure to listen out for the jingle of the door and when you did, Joel made sure to sit up a little as you leaned back. However, your hand remained in his, his thumb brushing continuously over your knuckles. He pressed a quick kiss to them before Ellie appeared through the door with the doctor who seemed more than relieved to see you awake and alive. 

Maybe when you and Joel had met, you were the furthest thing from friends. But now, with a developing connection and deeper feelings, you found yourselves moving further from friends, but in the opposite direction. 

Towards happiness. 

Towards love. 

Towards the light. 

[henrycangelbaby]

In which: Joel wanted to say so many things—to apologize for the time he had lost together, to say sorry for losing her—but he couldn't. He pulled back slightly, encompassing her face with his hands. She leaned into him, nuzzling her cheek into his palm.

Or

Joel is reunited with his babygirl.

The house is quiet when Joel gets home; it's rather surprising to him; he expects to hear giggles coming from the kitchen or the living room, but the only thing that he can hear is the low chatter of the TV in the next room over. He wonders if maybe Sarah has decided to be responsible and send herself and Y/N off to bed at a reasonable time, but he doubts it; the two of them never really seemed to put responsibility over having a good time together.

 Joel doesn't even remember when Y/N and Sarah had become best friends. It felt like it had just been this way forever; he remembers when a very young Sarah had come home practically begging to have her new best friend to sleep over one night, and suddenly Y/N was sleeping over every other night. He should have been annoyed about it. Joel already had enough on his plate, raising Sarah by himself, but she had been such a sweet kid, so kind and lovely to Sarah. They seemed so inseparable, spending all day at school together to only to come home together giggling over things he didn't understand at the dinner table before crashing together in Sarah's bed for the night.

 He simply couldn't say no to yet another sleepover, so when Sarah called him after getting home from school, asking if Y/N could stay the night, he mockingly sighed before agreeing wholeheartedly. 

Joel found them in the living room together. The question of the silence was quickly answered when he saw Sarah laying on the couch; a peaceful sleep overtaken her. He then spots her best friend next to her. Y/N isn't asleep; instead, she sits awake, her head propped up dangerously on her palm. The sight of it makes Joel smile a little bit; despite everything, Y/N was a good kid. 

The older that she had gotten, the more he had gotten insight into why she spent so much time at his house. She spoke occasionally of her father's temper, her mother's ignorance, and how it had scared her and how sometimes she couldn't sleep from the fear. It had made his heart ache, as well as quelling any annoyance that he had felt feeding four people instead of three. Y/N had been a part of their family for years now; she spent all the holidays with them, buying everyone Christmas presents as well as doing chores around the house when Sarah did.

Her presence made Sarah very happy, and it eased Joel's worry for her. As long as she was under his roof, she was safe and happy, and that's what matters. 

Y/N's head snapped up at the sound of Joel's boots walking into the living room; she smiled up at him before, pointing to Sarah and miming for him to be quiet. He smirked as he sat down next to her. She launched into hugging him the moment he was sat, her eyes bright with enthusiasm.

 “Happy birthday, Joel!” 

He chuckled, his heart warmed by the action. “Thanks, baby girl,” he spoke before she continued, “I'm sorry I could be here this morning to make breakfast for you.” She pouted lightly. He just shook his head, patting her on the head gently. 

“That's ok, you're here now,” he assured her. “How've you been, honey?” 

He tried to be subtle about the way he worried for her wellbeing; he knew it had only been one day since he'd seen her, but both him and Sarah had been a little taken aback when she hadn't shown up at school the previous day. 

“Everything ok?” He asked, 

she hummed, “Yeah, I missed you and Sarah yesterday." 

As if awakened by her name, Sarah slowly sat up while Joel responded, “We missed you too." 

Joel turned his attention to Sarah as she sat up. “What are you girls doing up so late?" 

“Crud, what’s the time?” Sarah asked, looking up at the clock,

 “Way past your bedtime." Joel said

"But it’s still today,” she spoke.

Joel watched suspiciously as Y/N reached down to grab something while Sarah was talking, handing it to Sarah behind her back. Joel fought the urge to roll his eyes at their antics: 

“Listen girls, please not right now; I don’t have the energy for this." 

Before he could continue to complain, Sarah passed a box into his hands. “Here,” 

his curiosity peaked. “What’s this?” 

“Your birthday, silly." Y/N answered. 

He opened the box slowly, smirking slightly at the sight of a watch-shaped gift inside.

“You kept complaining about your broken watch,” Sarah explained,

“so we figured well.” Y/N continued,

“You like it?” They asked together, young eyes peering up at him; 

He couldn't help himself from pulling a small joke on them. "Girls, this is...” 

They cocked their heads in confusion together.

 “It's nice, but i… I think it's stuck; it's not." 

They leaned over in concern, looking at each other confused. 

“No.” Y/N was quick to state.

“What?” Sarah added.

He smirked. Y/N was the first to realize he was messing with them. “Ha ha, very funny Joel." 

Sarah slapped his arm away lightly.

“Where'd you guys get the money for this anyway?” he questioned. 

“Drugs,” Sarah answered without missing a beat. 

Y/N nodded alongside her. “Yeah, we sell drugs, only the hardcore stuff,” she added on. 

“This is great news; you two can start helping me out with the mortgage,”.

They shook their heads. “You wish." 

He knew it wouldn't be long until they both knocked out with the TV on in the background. Soon enough, they were passed out laying on top of each other in the way they usually did. He took them up to Sarah's bed one by one; he could remember a time when they had fit on one arm each, carrying them both effortlessly to bed.

Oh, how times had changed. 

It was the phone ringing that woke Y/N up; she had ended up on the side closest to it, likely (definitely) courtesy of Joel. The ringing wouldn't stop; she picked up the phone hesitantly, 

“Hello?” “Y/N? Sweetie, is that you?” 

She recognized his voice the moment he spoke, 

“Yeah, Tommy, what's up?” 

“I need you to put Joel on the phone now; can you do that for me, honey?” 

“Um,” she tried to think her brain was too sleepy to process what he was saying. 

“I need to speak to him now there's som-” 

The phone cut off before he could finish speaking. What was happening? 

Y/N gently shook Sarah awake, worried about Tommy's odd phone call. Sarah awoke to the pleas of her name. She pushed herself up gently. 

“What's going on? Y/N, what time is it?” 

Y/N ignored the question, explaining panickedly about the phone call. Sarah only looked at her worried.

“Let's go find dad.” She offered her hand out. 

The young girls walked around hand in hand, calling for Joel in the quiet, abandoned house. They stopped together inside Joel's room; the TV was playing a news report being shown despite the late time. They both turned around at a loud sound of something in the distance. 

“Uh.. What was that?” Sarah questioned

Y/N shrugged beside her, “Something weird is happening, Sarah." 

The empty kitchen was lit up by Joels phone screen, the ringing the only sound in the otherwise deserted kitchen. 

“8 missed calls,” Sarah stated after peering at the busted lock screen, “where the hell are you?” 

Y/N hummed; this was all so weird. The attention of the two girls was suddenly pulled to the sound of a door being yanked open. Joel stepped through it, slamming it shut behind him. Sarah let out a breath in relief.

“There you are, we whe-” 

“Girls.” Joel interrupted, his tone suddenly serious. “Are you both okay?” He continued; 

They both nodded confused. He spoke again, his back to them, busying himself with something. 

“Has anyone come in here?” Sarah and Y/N shared a glance 

“No” Sarah answered, 

“Why would anyone be in here?” Y/N added on. 

He shook his head, muttering to himself, “Stay back, okay? Away from the door.”

 Sarah spoke again, “Dad, you're freaking us out a little." 

“Joel, what's going on?” Y/N asked

“It's the Coopers.” He responded quickly and seriously, “Something ain't right with 'em."

"Are they sick?” Y/N asked worriedly

 “Yeah.” He let out a breath, "Yeah, they are."  

A sudden thud scared them, both jumping back in fright. Joel cursed under his breath, 

“C'mere.” 

He motioned for the two girls to stand behind him, pushing them away from the door. Suddenly the glass on the door was smashed, warnings flew out of Joel's mouth, none of them heard as the gunshot rang through the house, the material of his shirt quickly fisted in fear.He pushed them backwards, ignoring their pleas for an explanation.

"Listen, my girls,” he spoke seriously. “There is something bad going on." 

"We have to get out of here; you understand me.” The young girls shared a scared look before agreeing. 

They were quickly ushered to a waiting Tommy, he spoke angrily towards an unfocused Joel, who was ensuring both girls got into the car. Perhaps he had underestimated the chaos of the apocalypse, but nothing was going well; the roads were cut off and traffic piled up. The closer they got into the city, the worse it got.

He swore they were doing fine, until suddenly the only thing he could hear and see was the impact. 

Fuck. They had been hit.

His head felt fuzzy; he couldn't think straight. He pulled himself up; his heart dropped slightly when he saw his girls. Y/N was peering over at something– someone.

 “Joel!” she shouted quickly at him. She sounded so scared. "Joel, please, Sarah,” she insisted. 

Joel was rather horrified to find that Sarah had an injured leg. He helped her up into his arms. He turned to Y/N quickly. 

“Are you okay, honey? Hurt?” 

She shook her head. “I think I'm fine,”

He nodded. “Okay, listen, stay close by; don't go anywhere.” 

She turned around to find Tommy offering out his hand, insisting that she shouldn't let go. The streets were chaos; Joel could hardly think straight; adrenaline was coursing through his veins, anxiety forming a pit in his stomach; they ran far, dodging the people, avoiding the fire. The world had really turned in an instant.

Despite that, things were okay for a second.

They were suddenly being chased; the things, the creatures were on their trail. Tommy quickly slammed the door behind them, trapping the infected on the other side.

“Get to the highway!” he yelled, ignoring Joel and Sarah's questions as he pushed an upset Y/N towards them.

“Go!” he yelled, “hurry!”. 

Joel took his girls and ran. He didn't make it very far; before he was stopped by a soldier, Joel tried desperately to get his message across, insisting they needed help for his daughters.  

"Joel,” he heard a whimper from behind him, the soldier pointing the gun towards them. 

Suddenly they were down, he lost eyes on his girls only hearing the bullet, before he could think, beg for his life from the unrelenting soldier, another gunshot rang out, this time taking the soldier down. 

“Oh no…” Joel's heart felt like it might tear out of his chest.

 He runs over to Sarah; he feels sick. The blood in the way she cries—nothing can fix the ache he feels. She dies; Sarah dies in his arms; he holds her close, pretending that he can feel her heartbeat against him, but he can’t; her blood seeps through onto his clothes and his hands; it stains his heart forever in a way that is indescribable. He can't think, he can't feel nothing moves around them as he holds her close; eventually he's brought out of his haze. 

Tommy speaks carefully at him, “Joel?” 

He shakes his head in response, unwilling to address him. Tommy persists, 

“Joel, where is she?” 

It angers Joel. “What?” he snaps, turning towards Tommy, who stands quickly. Suddenly,  his heart drops. Tommy looks frantically around; he disappears out of Joel's eyeline. Joel knows exactly what he is looking for and who he is looking for. He can’t even get an explanation out, his mouth unwilling to move, to stutter around the excuse that he had just seen her; he swore Y/N had just been behind him a second ago. 

But she wasn't. 

Tommy searches frantically and messily, screaming himself hoarse, yelling her name over and over again as if she might magically appear from around the corner, but she's nowhere to be found. Tommy's knees collapse from under him when he sees it; the bloody flannel lies abandoned on the ground. Tommy recognizes it instantly; he had brought it. He remembers exactly the intent behind his purchase; he had laughed to himself when he saw the opposing color flannels, the light purple and blue reminding him so badly of his two nieces he had purchased them on the spot. 

The light blue that had reminded so much of Y/N was now sitting a few feet away from him, stained dark red. He picks it up, his hands suddenly stained red by the fresh blood. He feels sick; he is sick. He throws up when he lifts the blanket close to him, unable to stomach the warmth it still holds. 

Tommy walks back towards Joel in a haze, both of them gone. In minutes— how had they let this happen? 

Joel flinches instinctively when he hears Tommy walking back towards him; he hasn't let up on Sarah, unable to move away as her skin grows cold under his touch. Tommy doesn't say anything; he doesn't step aside to reveal a scared but alive Y/N holding his hand. Instead, he drops down beside Joel, keeping his eyes downcast, unable to look at Sarah as he hands over the flannel silently. 

“Tommy what?” Joel asks in disbelief, “Where is she?” 

Tommy could only shake his head in response, 

"Tommy, what the fuck where is sh-” 

“Christ Joel, she's gone.” Tommy interrupted him angrily. He gestured to the flannel, “probably already fucking dead.” He finished his chest, heaving with anger. 

There is nothing to explain the feeling that rips through Joel's chest; his heart feels shredded and ripped up into so many pieces he may never be able to put them back together. 

“My girls, my babygirls,” Joel mutters under his breath, tears leaking down his cheeks. 

Tommy takes the Flannel back, placing it gently over Sarah. This is how she would've wanted it, he thinks; she would have wanted to be close to Y/N in some capacity. The lone flannel was the only thing they had left of her, and Sarah needed it more than they did.

Jackson had been good to Joel, or at least that’s what the people around him think. He sees it in Ellie. She seems happier and more free. They've been here long enough for her to start settling down and making friends; she has three hearty meals a day and is receiving some form of education. The people around him say that they see it in him as well. Maria comments lowly to them that he seems more relaxed, a benefit that he now gets along better with her (and all the other residents of Jackson). 

Tommy had teased that he had filled out slightly with all the food Jackson had to provide. He had tried to care, that he had put on weight, that he was getting older, but after everything he had suffered through, his brother's teasing had rolled right off his shoulders. It felt like a good thing anyway, being able to be happy, healthy, and safe. 

But something didn't feel right. There was an anxiety that had settled deep in Joel's chest; he was unable to shake the feeling that something bad was coming. He knew that it was just in his head, his life since the outbreak had been on the run; the new peacefulness that had come with Jackson was almost unnerving to him. Perhaps it was the domesticity of it all that had really gotten to him. Although he was happy, he had Ellie and his brother and everyone else that came along with that; his heart ached in a way he felt he could tell anyone about. 

All of this, the community, the events, and the seasons. It had been years since he had celebrated Christmas; in fact, he had been unable to celebrate it since he had lost his girls. Even in Jackson, when the opportunity opened up for decorations and presents, he had to turn it down. The thought of putting up a tree without Y/N or Sarah made him ill. They had both loved Christmas; Texas winters were unforgivingly cold, but they had always seemed warmer alongside his small family.

He's sick of thinking about her. Jackson had allowed Joel time to reflect; perhaps time really does heal all wounds. Time and being surrounded by people that care about him has allowed him to reflect; the once gaping wound that had been Sarah was now patched over. For the first time since her death, he felt he was able to celebrate what her life had been instead of beating himself up for the fact that it had ended. He started to see past his loss, slowly letting Ellie in; he had even been able to tell Ellie briefly about Sarah; they would have been friends. good friends, at least Joel thought so. 

Joel felt that he could finally love Sarah's memory in the way he had loved her. Fully and without guilt. He couldn't do the same with Y/N. Her memory was a gaping infected wound that nothing could seem to heal. He refused to talk about her. Of course Tommy knew; Maria had some sort of idea through Tommy, but he couldn't even stand for either of them to mention her name. He was sure Ellie knew; there was a photo of Y/N in his bedroom. She was younger than Ellie in the photo, and it was very clearly not Sarah, but she had never asked about it. The wound still felt so fresh; it felt like it was poked every time he thought of her. 

He knew it was the guilt; she would be by his side, a fully grown woman if he had been paying attention. Maybe she would have already been in Jackson when they arrived, having stayed by Tommy's side through the outbreak. But she wasn’t. They had turned their backs for a minute, and she was just gone. Probably killed, with no one to care for her or mourn her. She had probably been so scared, and no one was around to be there for her. Joel would give anything to have been able to hold her close and tell her everything would be okay, but it wasn't; nothing was okay.

“Joel?” 

He hums in response to Ellie; they're sitting eating dinner together. Dinners together have become fewer, and after between the longer they stay in Jackson. Ellie is busier than him; friends, love interests, and hobbies take up more and more of her time. Although he sometimes misses seeing her 24/7 as long as she is happy, he is. 

“What's up?” he asks as she darts her eyes around nervously. Almost as if she is hiding something from him. 

“Can I ask you something?” She sounds scared. 

“Of course, kiddo,” he answers, confused. Ellie has no reason to be scared of him anymore. 

“You promise you won’t get angry?” she insists again. 

He nodded, agreeing with her, “Yeah, I promise."

Ellie takes a deep breath before asking, “Did you, um, did you have another daughter?” She stutters out. 

Joel feels locked in place for a second; the question takes him so off guard his heart stops beating in his chest for a second. Ellie opens her mouth quickly to apologize, fearing that she has overstepped, but he shakes his head at her in response. He allows them to sit in silence for a moment, considering his next option before he speaks. 

“It's complicated,” he says; truthfully, he doesn't even know where to start.

Ellie is quick to try and smooth over any problems: “It's just something Tommy said—probably misheard him or something; it's silly, real-." Ellie spoke, but she was cut off by Joel, who unintentionally interrupted her. 

“She wasn't technically mine,” he said quietly, unable to look up from his dinner. 

"Huh?" ellie asked in confusion, 

“She was Sarah's best friend.” He clarified quickly, “They were inseparable, had been best friends for years; she spent every other night and all holidays at my house." He choked out; for the first time in 20 years he was talking about Y/N, and it was making his head spin.

“Is she the one in the photo?” Ellie asked, referring to the photo of the unnamed girl that had sat on Joel's dresser ever since they had settled in Jackson. 

He nodded in response, 

“Her name was Y/N.” He spoke her name for the first time in years; it felt heavy on his tongue. 

“Was?” Ellie asked, “Is she, um, well gone?” She was unwilling to say dead, worried that it might provoke a sensitive Joel. 

He remains quiet for a second before answering her lowly "probably." 

Ellie goes to ask more, confused by his vague answer, but he shakes his head, stopping her. “I think that's enough questions for tonight, kiddo,” he states firmly. She nods in response before turning back to her food. Ellie doesn't approach Joel about it again; she can tell that she has received all the information that he is willing to give and doesn't want to make him angry. 

She redirects her curiosity to Tommy; not straight after she waits to get him alone, they end up on patrol together. Technically, he isn't not actually patrolling; Joel is still very much unwilling to let Ellie do anything even slightly dangerous, but she scopes out the landscapes with Tommy occasionally shooting when he allows her. It gives her a sense of freedom, even if Joel is sitting back at the patrol tower waiting for them. 

“Tommy?” he looks up at her, quickly distracted from the gun in his lap. 

“What's up?” he asks with a small smile on his face. He doesn't often get to spend time with Ellie; she's a good patrol partner despite Joel's resistance. 

“Can I ask you about something?” She says carefully, and he stops walking for a second, eyeing her up suspiciously. She doesn't usually ask him things; he wonders if she is doing the same thing Sarah used to do when Joel told her no: turn to the next responsible adult in her life (him) and ask for the same thing until she got a yes.

"Listen, if Joels already said no, I'm not gonna say yes, ok?” He is quick to lay down the law. She cringes at that quickly recovering her face to look at him. 

“It's not that ok, I just want to ask you about someone,” she tells him. 

“Yeah, sure.” Tommy says his curiosity piqued. 

“Is Y/N alive?” Tommy's breath hitched, his heart speeding up at the name. 

“How do you know her?” He asks

“Joel told me.” She responds quickly, and he lets out a breath. If Joel had already spoken about it, it was fine. He tries to find the words before he speaks them, but he comes up short. 

“Alive? Well probably not,” he speaks, the truth that has been simmering in the back of his mind for years. 

“Did you see her die?” Ellie asks

“No.” Tommy shakes his head. “She went missing when Sarah was killed, disappeared into thin air, and only left behind some bloody clothes.” He explains, 

“You haven't seen her since?” Ellie asked, 

“No, probably fuckin’ dead anyway." Tommy dismisses in a way that is so reminiscent of his brother. Ellie doesn't pry anymore; she knows enough to satisfy her curiosity. She feels strangely closer to Joel with the new information, her heart a little softer for the old man. 

Things in Jackson remain uneventful; people come in seeking the warmth and comfort that Jackson provides; patrols come and go; people begin to prepare for Christmas. The decorations going up make Joel's heart ache like it does every year, but he survives. Things are fine. Ellie doesn't press anymore about his past, which he is grateful for. She opts to spend more time with him than she used to, which is strange, but he would always value her company. 

Maria spends less and less time going out on patrol these days; she has bigger problems in the community, and with the rate that Jackson is growing, she feels like she spends every other waking moment greeting people and assigning houses. It's nice to get out sometimes; technically she should be protecting Jackson, but the path she's on seems harmless. The logbook remained clear of any disturbances for months now; it's just Maria and the heavy snow that had fallen as a consequence of Jackson's cold winters. Everything is peaceful and calm, even until she hears a gunshot ring out. 

It comes from close by—a lodge that had been abandoned forever ago. It was useless to the people of Jackson and had long sat by itself rotting away into the mountain. She has to go investigate the sound. Who could be there? Perhaps it was another patrol in need of help. She arrives quickly. The building looks to be empty; there is no light coming from it, no obvious signs of life. Maria knows better than to let her guard down, holding her rifle close to her chest as she yells out, urging anyone to come forward, yell for help. No one responds; she hears feet move quickly from a room somewhere; following the sound, she turns into a room; she walks in slowly; the person is backed into a corner, unable to escape. 

Maria steps closer, her view of the person's face skewed by a cloth wrapped around their lower face.

“Drop your weapon,” Maria orders quickly; they don't drop their weapon, instead bring it closer to them with a shaking hand. 

“Please,” they plead quickly. 

Maria falters for a second, the woman's voice taking her by surprise. 

“Please, I'm sorry for running; just leave me alone.” The woman all but begs; she doesn't sound dangerous; she sounds scared. Maria slowly lowers her gun, walking closer carefully.

“I won't hurt you,” she quickly promises to the younger woman. “Are you infected?” 

The woman shakes her head in response.

 “I’m not, I swear,” the woman says. 

“Are you alone?” Maria asks cautiously; she hadn't heard or seen anyone else in the desolate building, but she couldn't be too sure; she only receives a nod in response. 

“I’m Maria,” she offers quickly. She raises her eyebrows as an indication for the other woman to give her name. 

Maria watches as the younger woman pulls the fabric of her lower face; she speaks clearer without the fabric blocking her. 

“Y/N.” 

Oh, Maria pauses; she hadn't heard that name in a while, not since Tommy had retold Ellie’s prodding of his lost pseudo niece. The thought flashes through her mind quickly; there was no way. Tommy had swore she had died. What were the chances? Probably very little. She doesn't let the thought linger, moving to be face-to-face with the woman. 

"Listen, I'm from a commune; come back with me,” Maria offers.

Y/N stares back at her almost as if she was insulted by Maria's suggestion, 

“Why?” Y/N asks,

“Well, you're all alone out here." Maria states honestly, it wasn't exactly like this Y/N girl had anything else going for her. 

“Are you going to kill me?” Y/N asks, and Maria laughs gently. 

“If I had wanted you dead, I would've done it five minutes ago,” she says humorously. 

Y/N smiles gently at her, picking up her bag from beside her walking out after Maria. Maria helps Y/N up first onto the horse; she seems awkward getting up there. Maria watches curiously as she places a hand under her stomach, using the other arm and Maria's help to haul herself onto the horse.

Was she? Maria had found her alone, but maybe she hadn’t always been; maybe that's why she had been so scared that Maria was going to kill her. Her suspicions are all but confirmed when she instructs Y/N to hold on tight to her as they ride. Maria can feel it poking into her back. 

A baby bump. 

“Are you p-” Maria goes to ask, but she is interrupted quickly. 

“Yeah,” Y/N responds. 

Maria isn't quite sure what to make of her tone of voice; she sounds upset, almost. 

“How far along are you?” Maria asks gently.

she feels a shrug from behind her.

“A few months, hard to say really.” Y/N responds; 

Maria nods, “I’ll have you checked out with the doctor later.” She offers,

“That would be nice." Y/N responds, pulling her arms a bit tighter around Maria. 

They get into Jackson after dark; the town deserted as everyone stays home, keeping out the cold. There are a few people around doing odd jobs. Maria helps Y/N down off the horse she turns to one of them men who had been standing guard right inside the wall, “she's safe” she starts. Bringing strangers into Jackson wasn't exactly a normal thing; they were usually brought to Maria after being found. 

"Listen, I need you to get Tommy; tell him to meet me outside of the hall in ten,” the man moves off with a 'yes, ma’am,' while Maria turns towards Y/N.

"You wanna eat something?” She asks Y/N and nods, “Yeah, me too." Maria exhales.

They eat together in silence. Y/N sheds her winter coat to reveal a medium-sized baby bump. Maria isn't an expert, but she would estimate around the 5-month mark. Their eating is interrupted when the doors to the other empty hall are opened. Maria quickly gets out of her chair, promising to be back soon. 

Tommy looks confused as Maria pushed him away from the main hall; he had seen she was eating with someone, but Maria had quickly ushered him away. She exhaled before speaking,

"Tommy.” He nodded. “You have to listen to me, ok?”

He nodded again, confused by her tone of voice. Had he done something wrong? Was she angry with him? 

“Is everything okay?” he asked curiously. She nodded at him. 

“Listen,” she started. “I need you to help me identify the girl in there.” She spoke seriously. 

Tommy was confused. No one had ever asked him to identify anyone before. Who was this girl? Why did he have to identify her? 

“Who is she?” he asked. Maria gently placed her hands on his shoulders. 

“You need to be calm about this, okay?” she asked. 

He felt his heart rate pick up at the insinuation. 

“What?” He asked, confused again. 

Maria started hesitantly, “I think.” 

He encouraged her to keep speaking with a nod, 

“I think she’s Joel's daughter.” 

His breath hitched; he knew exactly who she was talking about; there was no way. Y/N was here? 

“I can't be sure, ok, same name, similar ages, but I didn't know her; you did,” 

He stared at Maria for a moment, unsure what to say. Suddenly an surge of energy overtook him; she had lived, Y/N was alive and well, and she had been sitting eating dinner with his wife. 

“Okay!” he said a little louder than he had intended, adrenaline in his veins making him energetic. 

Maria grabbed his arm before he could walk into the hall.

“Tommy, you can't just go in there guns ablazing okay?” Maria warned him, 

“What? I want to see her!” he insisted  Maria sighed,

“I know you do; it's just that." She started but didn't finish her sentence, 

“What, what is it?” He asked urgently, 

"Tommy, she's pregnant.”

He felt his heart stop; she was pregnant. She couldn't be. His heart ached with the fact of her age. How could she be old enough to be a mother herself? He choked on the revelation for a second. 

“She's a little fragile, okay. She's been on her own for a while. I don't want to scare her.” 

He let a breath out slowly before nodding.

“Just identify her, and we can go from there,” she promised him.

He followed behind her closely. She was the only one in the hall, and due to the late hour, Y/N picked at her food slowly, almost as if she was savoring every bite, scared that it might be the last meal she ate. The thought made his heart clench. They approached slowly; he trailed behind Maria, and as soon as he got close enough to see her face, he knew it was her. It felt like there was a shift in the air; he could feel it in the pit of his stomach. 

Being so close to Y/N made him feel weak. He had sworn for so long that she was dead, mourned the loss of one of the most precious people in his life, and here she was sitting in front of him, oblivious to his inner turmoil, oblivious to him standing behind Maria. Maria cleared her throat. 

“Y/N?” she asked, catching the woman's full attention. 

She looked up from her food, nodding at Maria in lieu of a response. 

“There's someone you need to meet, ok?” She looked hesitantly at Maria, suddenly aware that they weren't alone in the room. 

Before he could even comprehend the worry on her face, he stepped out fully into Y/N's view. The room stood still for a second; he panicked in turn at Y/N's silence; had she forgotten him? The thought made his heart clench. 

“Tommy?” A voice broke him through his haze; it sounded so small, almost like she was 13 again. 

He stepped closer to Y/N 

"Tommy, is it really you?” she asked hesitantly, almost like she didn't want to know the answer. 

He nodded as Y/N stood up. He could barely open his arms quick enough before she was hugging him. His arms were tightly around her shoulders. It was all suddenly so real. Y/N had lived. She was here right now in his arms. He pulled back slightly, placing his hands on her shoulders. His eyes brimmed with tears as he surveyed her face; she was so grown up. 

"Christ, honey,” he breathed, “so gorgeous and grown up.” 

Y/N smiled at him bashfully, re-lopping her hands around his neck to pull him close once again. 

“I missed you, Tommy,” she admitted quietly, 

"yeah, I missed you too, more than you know."

He watched as she finished her food, raising an eyebrow at her when she left some of it on her plate, insisting she was full; she wasn't. 

“Tommy?” she asked in between mouthfuls. 

“What's up?” he responded. 

He was willing to tell her just about anything to hear her voice again. 

“Is um-?” She started sounding unsure. “Is Joel alive?” she asked barely above a whisper. 

Tommy smiled again, even wider than he had been; Joel was alive; in fact, he was here, in Jackson, to stay. He moved his chair next to hers, putting an arm around her shoulder. 

“Yeah, he is alive,” he said, smirking lightly. She seemed to exhale at this. 

“In fact, honey, he's here.” Her eyes met his for a second, almost as if she thought he might be lying to her. 

“He's here?” She asked, “In this place?” 

"Jackson,” he supplied for her quickly. 

“In Jackson?” she asked again. 

“Yes, he is. I promise you.” Tommy said seriously. 

Y/N looked at him hopefully. 

“Can I see him?” she asked. 

Tommy glanced at the clock in the big hall before shaking his head.

“It's late; the old man will already be sleeping,” Tommy joked. 

It brought a small smile to her face. 

“How about this?” Tommy started, “You can sleep in my spare bedroom tonight; I'll take you to see him first thing in the morning.” he offered.  

She smiled widely at him, pushing up and out of her chair, a hand delicately under her belly. 

“Maria mentioned something about warm water?” Y/N asked, 

“Yeah, we got that. Take a warm shower before bed if you want.” Tommy spoke. 

Y/N seemed to light up at the prospect of that, gladly placing her hand in the crook of his elbow as they walked together towards his house. 

Tommy wakes up early the next morning. He gently peeks in through the door of his guest bedroom, a breath of relief coming from him as he sees a sleeping Y/N. He had woken up panting lightly pulled from his sleep by fear that it had all been a dream, but it wasn't. Y/N was here sleeping peacefully in the room next to his and Maria's bedroom. 

Tommy was not typically an early riser—not that he had much choice since the world had ended, but it wasn't exactly his calling. He was more like Sarah in that respect; he can recall getting up several hours into Saturday mornings to find that she was still sleeping. Y/N had been the opposite of Sarah, a naturally early riser, who Tommy would often find talking to Joel over a hot chocolate (or in Joel's case, a coffee) on said mornings. They would tease him gently about how they “had been up for hours” before everyone argued about who had the chore of waking Sarah up (they almost always sent Y/N; she was definitely Sarah's favourite amongst the three of them; they always came downstairs together giggling about something a far departure from her usual morning attitude). 

He knows that Joel will be up already; Jackson is waking up slowly; people making their way out of their warm houses, and Joel is no exception. He had always been the early riser out of the brothers; Joel had spent every morning she was there chatting to Y/N in the kitchen as they prepared for the day before anyone else is up. 

Tommy takes a deep breath before knocking; he had tried to plan out what he was going to say. Trying to tell your older brother that his (not technically) daughter that he spent years mourning was actually alive—in fact, she was asleep right now in Tommy's spare bedroom—was far harder than he had anticipated. 

He knocks lightly, unwilling to disturb the otherwise peaceful neighbourhood. It doesn't take long for Joel to answer; he looks unsurprised to see Tommy standing there, inviting him in quickly to sit at the dining table. Tommy isn't sure where to start when Joel asks him what's up, 

"Joel.” He starts seriously, “There is something I need to tell you." 

Joel lets a look of confusion wash over his face. 

“What?” he asks Tommy bluntly. 

Tommy suddenly understood why Maria had been acting so strange yesterday; this was a hard conversation. 

"Joel,” he tried again. "Y/N,” Tommy started, but his sentence was interrupted quickly by Joel. 

“Don’t even start Tommy,” he stated angrily. 

Joel didn't want to ever have to tell anyone about his failing towards the once-young girl; after telling Ellie, it had been too much. Tommy shook his head, effectively silencing an angry-looking Joel. 

“Y/N is alive,” Tommy said firmly. 

Joel quickly turned to disbelief, blinking at Tommy as if this were some cruel joke. 

“Look, Maria found her yesterday a while out; brought her back last night." Tommy continued on, 

"Is it  really her?” Joel asked in disbelief, 

“Yeah, I saw her last night. God, Joel, she was so grown up, I couldn't believe it.” Tommy rambled, 

“Can I see her? Now?” Joel asked quickly. 

Tommy frowned at Joel, not wanting to break his bubble the way Maria had to him last night. 

“Not yet ok?” Tommy spoke carefully. “Maria is taking her to see the doctor, then you can,” he explained. 

Tommy watched the flash on panic crossover Joel's face answering Joel's question before he could even ask it.

“She's fine, not hurt or anything, I mean." Tommy assured me he hesitated before speaking again. “But there is one thing." 

"What?” Joel asked snappily,

“She's pregnant.” Tommy offered. 

Joel couldn't think for a moment, his heart clenching in his chest. 

“Really?” 

Tommy only nodded in response.

 “My baby girl, having a baby?” he spoke aloud. 

The words rang in his ears, when had she gotten so old? Joel swore that she was still the young teenage girl he could remember her being. 

“I'll bring her over to yours when she's done, okay?” Tommy told Joel, gently patting his older brother's shoulders as he stood to leave.

Joel nodded in response, unsure of what to say; he had had too many revelations for one day, and it was making his head spin. 

He couldn't think after that and sat at his dining table staring at the abandoned cold cup of coffee; if he stared at it for long enough, he could see her face; perhaps he was really losing it seeing a thirteen-year-old Y/N in his cold cup of coffee.

A knock at the door pulls him violently out of his own head. He knocks over the cold cup of coffee, swearing as it begins to drip off the side of the table. 

“One sec!” he yells out, continuing to swear under his breath as he quickly cleans it up.

His hands shake lightly as he throws the dirty cloth into the sink. He takes a deep breath, unaffectedly trying to steady himself. He opens the door slowly and is greeted with the sight of Tommy smiling at him as he steps closer to Joel.

“I'm gonna leave y’all to it, okay?” 

Joel nods before Tommy steps back, revealing a nervous-looking Y/N behind him. 

Joel can't even process it unmoving as he takes her in fully; she had grown. Of course she had, but it still made his heart ache. Before he can even think about the wetness occurring on his eyeline as he pulls her close, he grips her so tight, gripping the back of her head against his chest.

“Joel” Y/N whimpers, looking up at him with wet eyes. 

Joel wanted to say so many things—to apologize for the time he had lost together, to say sorry for losing her—but he couldn't. He pulled back slightly, encompassing her face with his hands. She leaned into him, nuzzling her cheek into his palm.

 “I know, baby, I know,” he promised. 

“I missed you, Joel, so much." Y/N said quietly, resting her head on Joel's chest. 

He wondered if she could feel it clench beneath his skin at her words. 

“I missed you more than you'll ever know, sweetie,” he spoke gently to her, “and I promise, I swear that you'll never be alone again, baby girl; I'll always be here for you." Joel spoke softly; 

He felt Y/N pull him impossibly closer at his words. 

“I love you, babygirl,” he whispered to her, “my baby girl.”.

[builtaworldwithyourlove]

Sweet

one shot

1.5k / joel miller x f!reader / minors dni

summary: summertime saturday bliss with joel. Inspired by ‘Sweet’ by Cigarettes After Sex

warnings: fluff, dad!joel, boyfriend!joel, no specific description of reader, no outbreak, age gap (reader is mid20s& joel is early to mid 40s), just a whole lotta loving. 

Main Masterlist 🫧☁️🫧☁️🫧☁️🫧☁️🫧☁️🫧☁️🫧☁️

You were never fond of sharing a bed with anyone. As a child, you hated sleepovers and always wanted to be asleep early. As a teenager, you had a scrupulous night routine which carried on into your life now. Skincare, meditation, reading and sleep no later than 10pm. You were a light sleeper too, the slightest twitch, distant car alarm or whistle of wind would startle you.

That soon changed after you met Joel and you stayed the first night with him. He was double your size and he made sure to hold you all night. He was a deadweight and didn’t disturb you in the slightest. After the first night with him, the loss of his arms draped over you was huge and you could no longer sleep easily without him next to you.

Joel always slept in later than you, and would only wake after you did, to you either stifling a laugh to some stupid cat video, or vigorously writing down your manifestations and goals for the day. He didn’t mind. Your face first thing in the morning was a sight he’d want to cherish for the rest of his life.

‘Morning darl’ he drawled through a squint. 

‘Sleep well?’ You rolled over to face him, and he cupped your face and pulled you in for a kiss.

‘Better than ever,’ Joel rubbed his eyes and scooped your hair off over your should and behind your neck. ‘Coffee?’

🫧☁️🫧☁️🫧☁️🫧☁️🫧☁️🫧☁️🫧☁️

You both moseyed downstairs and opened all the doors and windows, ready for the heat of an American summer to fill the home .

Joel made your coffee, exactly how you liked it, with frothed milk, plenty of syrup and in your favourite mug, engraved with your zodiac sign.

He held out his hand and you delicately took it and walked outside onto the patio. 

Wildflowers were scattered across the borders of the garden, splashes of colour and flickers of wildlife dashed throughout the morning dew.

A sparrow darted across the garden and landed the fence, calling out to the magnolia tree which shaded your patio. Joel laid propped up on his elbow as you both lounged on the deckchairs watching the birds and butterflies in the morning sun. 

He aimlessly ran his fingers up and down your leg, gazing at you sipping your coffee, and smirking with a full heart.

‘Enjoying the summer mornings baby?’ Joel drawled, as he stood up and stretched. His shirt lifted, revealing a strip of golden skin and chiselled stomach.

You tilted your head, squinting as the sun glowed into your eyes. ‘I wouldn’t wanna be anywhere else, sweet boy. The city life doesn’t even compare’

‘Well this is your home now darl’. Can’t let you go anywhere now’ Joel winked and took your empty coffee mug into the kitchen.

You followed him into the house, finding the motivation to get your life together and not strip the man down to his bare bones. 

He pointed a finger at you. ‘You, shower.’

You rolled your eyes.

‘Er, none of that little miss. I’m not having you moaning when it’s 11am and the parking lots are gridlocked and you can’t get your damn scented candles and bed linens.’

You were too stunned to speak, and cackled as he knew you too well. How could you be mad when he loved you too deeply to let you lose out?

🫧☁️🫧☁️🫧☁️🫧☁️🫧☁️🫧☁️🫧☁️

You hopped in the shower, scrubbing yourself whilst filling the air with fragrance that came from Joel’s mahogany teakwood shower gel. Women’s toiletries smelt sweet, but didn’t last anywhere near as long as men’s. And anyway, who wouldn’t want to have Joel’s scent lingering all day.

Wrapped up in a fluffy white towel and your hair in a towel wrap, you did your makeup, brushed out your lashes and eyebrows, and drowned yourself in Lost Cherry. Your signature scent. 

You decided on a linen co ord, baby pink with shorts and a long sleeved shirt, which you had unbuttoned slightly lower than normal, but smart enough to leave enough to the imagination. 

You danced down the stairs, hearing Joel and Sarah playing in the garden. Breakfast had been made and you invited Sarah to join you on your Saturday shopping trip before Joel had to go to work 

‘Come on peanut, I’ll treat you to the soda shaped candle you wanted’ you called to Sarah and grabbed your purse and some snacks, of course. Sarah ran upstairs to find one of her favourite dresses and matching bows. You prayed she’d never grow up out of her tutu dress stage for any occasion.

Joel looked like a dream, in his cargos and tight fitting flannel. The sky could be on fire and this man would still be wearing a flannel insisting it’s never too hot. He smelt like coffee and cigarette ash, and cedarwood.

He grabbed your waist, threatening to tilt you backwards over the garden sprinkler. You yelped and whacked him off with your purse and whispered seductively ‘That’s just taken away your chance to see what’s underneath my outfit.’

He fell to his knees and lunged into you, your knees buckling as he stood up with you over his shoulders. He ran into the kitchen, still holding you as if he was a fireman and the garden was a burning flame. Sarah skipped down the stairs and immediately ran with concern hearing you yelping.

‘Ma’am, I’m gonna need you to clear the exits!’ Joel did his stupid talking down a walkie talkie impression and pointed to Sarah to give way to you both. 

She crossed her arms and stood firmly in the doorway, as if she wasn’t 4ft nothing.

‘You leave me with no choice’ Joel seemed to forget he still had you upside down over his shoulder and squatted down to put Sarah in the same position.

You clumsily bumped heads as Joel flung you both about with no care. He dropped you on the sofa and Sarah on the armchair.

You were out of breath from laughing and trying to keep some of your dignity.

Joel realised the time, he had to leave in two minutes to go to the site. 

‘Well girls, thanks for holding me up’ he jokingly muttered, trying to imitate the attitude you and Sarah sometimes give him.

Sarah looked at you and you both shook your head and giggled. Joel chucked you the car keys and you and Sarah went out to do some shopping. 

🫧☁️🫧☁️🫧☁️🫧☁️🫧☁️🫧☁️🫧☁️

After facing the trenches of a retail park in scorching heat, you headed home. Joel had called to say he would be home before you and asked what cocktail you wanted lined up.

Sarah was asleep in her car seat, and you reversed onto the drive, texting Joel to grab Sarah while you got the bags.

Joel’s eye widened and jaw went slack as he saw you unload the car.

‘Baby, if I see another throw cushion I may have to scream.’ Joel delivered the most deadpan one liners sometimes, digging at your femininity and weakness for home furnishings. 

‘Don’t act like you don’t fall asleep on them every single night half way through the film you decided to pick’ you shut the car door and let Joel chuckle as he went and layed Sarah on the sofa.

‘What’s for dinner baby?’ Joel asked.

‘Not sure, ask Sarah when she wakes up what she wants, I got groceries yesterday so she can pick’ you kissed his cheek and reached up for the wine glasses.

You gestured at Joel if he wanted some, and he pulled the cork out of the half finished wine bottle from last night with his teeth. 

You began to crumble under how hot this man was, until he blew the cork out of his mouth and aimed it for your head. He laughed like a boy and smacked your ass as you rolled your eyes. 

‘You know Miller, for someone who likes sex so much, you’re doing an awful lot to sabotage your chances of getting some tonight’ you tapped him on the hip with your foot, and he grabbed your ankle trying to trip you up. 

‘You can’t resist this boyish charm, baby’ he winked and showed his perfect white teeth through a grin.

Sarah came tiptoeing into the kitchen and cuddled her daddy. You sat on the breakfast stool next to Joel, and she clambered onto your lap. You kissed her forehead and she wrapped her arms round her neck. 

‘Daddy, can we have Pizza and the special salad you make?’

‘Anything for my princesses’ Joel stood and wrapped his thick arms round you both, before getting dinner ready for you all.

Sarah picked up your phone and scrolled through your playlist, picking the song you were humming as you drove earlier.

‘It’s so sweet, knowing that you love me. Though we don’t need to say it to eachother, sweet’

‘I love you’ you mouthed to Joel. Your eyes welled up as the song played and filled your heart with an overwhelming feeling of how happy you were.

[dumbbitchenergy17]

Timeline of Rumors

Pairing: Paul Mescal x Reader [SMAU]

Warnings: sweet moments, laughter giggles, just general fluff

a/n: IGNORE THE FACECLAIM they're placeholders just picture what you like!

SEPT 1, 2023

iampedro'sloyalsubject BRO PEDRO AND Y/N ARE AT THE SAME RENAISSANCE TOUR NIGHT AS ME HOLY SHIT I CAN SEE THEM.

y/n’swife ARE YOU SERIOUS PROOF

joelmillersbitch I’M SO FUCKING JEALOUS ARE YOU SERIOUS!

iampedro'sloyalsubject I knew they mentioned going to the concert but I assumed in New York not fucking LA.

pleasebemywifey/n MY FRIENDS GOT TICKETS FOR THIS NIGHT AND WE SAW THEM COMING IN ALONG WITH SARAH PAULSON AND PAUL MESCAL

paulsoulmate …what. PAUL IS THERE?!?!?

pleasebemywifey/n YES!! I TOTALLY FREAKED SEEING Y/N WITH PAUL

A new video by loyalservantofy/n.

The footage shows two girls dancing to the preshow music dressed in silver beside the barricade. The girl holding the camera's face drops when Pedro Pascal is walking alongside Sarah Paulson from the background for a brief moment.

“PEDRO!” The girl screeches turning the camera so it is facing the walkway gaining the male actor’s attention and he sends a smile their way along with a wave which makes the pair of girls fangirl even more.

“I love you, Sarah!” The other shouts to Sarah who smiles and mouths back, “I love you too!” Their excitement only grows from fangirls of Pedro to a full breakdown when they see the coming behind the pair is Y/n L/n dressed in an outfit inspired by Beyonce’s Dangerously In Love Album Cover followed by Paul Mescal who is dressed in all black the pair talking amongst each other while being guided by security.

“Y/N I LOVE YOU!” The girls screech and the young actress sees them sending them a dazzling smile and blowing multiple kisses.

“You guys look gorgeous!” You shout to them over the music and other fans take videos and flashes of cameras. The girls squeal still in awe that they had this insane interaction with these famous stars.

A new video by pedrobbygurl: Didn’t even realize during the Mute Challenge who was behind us!

In the video during the song ‘Energy,’ the crowd bumps to the music as a girl records herself singing along to the words. In the background are Pedro and Sarah singing swaying to the music and beside them are Paul and Y/n singing to each other, mainly Y/n singing to Paul as he smiles looking down at her.

“Look around everybody go mute!” The crowd instantly goes silent and in the background, Y/n rushes to cover Paul’s mouth a wide grin on her face as the whole stadium waits for Beyonce’s cue.

“Look around it’s me and my crew!” Beyonce sings and the crowd roars and you remove your hand from Paul’s mouth as he starts laughing.

“Big Energy!” You both scream before continuing to dance to the rest of the concert.

PedroPascalMessiah Everyone say thank you to Y/n for making sure Paul didn’t fail the Mute Challenge.

ynlover THANK YOU MY WIFE 🙌🏼

paulmescalbby THANK YOU Y/N! Also, y’all noticing how often Y/n and Paul have been hanging out since they were seen together at the Met Gala?

cassiebeans no totally! Like I don’t want to assume anything especially with Paul so secretive [since the Phoebe drama] and we rarely hear about Y/n’s dating life.

kazmourner SPEAKING FACTS! Like I think they might just be friends because of how close she is with her male co-stars and friends. Like I fully thought she and Freddy Carter were together until he got married to his wife. But I'm down with it they would be super cute together

paulmescalbby Did y'all see how he was looking at her?!?! That doesn’t scream friends. BUT ALSO DAISY AND PAUL MY LOVES

A new story post by theeey/n_l/n

The first story is just a photo that has a selfie of the four of you. Sarah and Paul have regular smiles while posing for the picture, you have a bright smile that even through the photo can show how excited you are to be there and Pedro makes a shocked expression eyes glazed in wonder at the concert not even looking at the camera. The caption on the photo just says in all caps ‘BEYONCÉ BEYONCÉ BEYONCÉ!!’ with everyone in the picture tagged.

The next story is a repost from Sarah’s story, Crazy in Love is playing the camera shows Beyoncé and her backup dancers performing before it pans to Pedro who starts faking crying before screaming into the camera, “I’m fucking dying oh my god!” You can hear Sarah’s laughter behind the phone before it pans to Y/n and Paul behind Pedro dancing singing along to the lyrics.

“Y/n! Paul!” Sarah shouts getting your attention and you turn mouthing the words to the camera as Paul raises his beer to the camera his arm wrapped around your waist. You turn your attention to Pedro grabbing his arm the two of you screaming the lyrics to each other before bursting into laughter then the camera moves back to the stage.

DEC 15, 2024

A new post by y/nownsmysoul: OMG I MET Y/N WHEN VISITING FAMILY IN MALTA AND SHE WAS AN ABSOLUTE ANGEL

The post is a selfie of this girl and Y/n outside a cafe. She was dressed very casually a pair of sunglasses pushing back her hair as the pair smiled at the camera.

The next on the slideshow is the full video interaction of the pair. The camera is mainly pointed at the floor and you can hear a girl mumbling encouragements to herself before the sound of footsteps.

“Excuse…Ms. Y/n. Hi, I’m so sorry to bother you but would you mind getting a photo with me? I understand if not,” Her voice trembles before a sweet voice fills the video.

“Of course so nice meeting you what’s your name?” You ask and the girl lifts the camera using a video to take photos while it still records. Moving your items to one hand allowing you to wrap your arm around her waist.

“It’s Nicole,” She says and Y/n smiles as the camera is raised to show them both, “That’s my sister’s name I love that! Okay, smile.” You say and the two of you do a couple of poses but then your phone rings and the person calling can be shown on the camera. The contact says ‘Paul<3’ and the photo is a never-before-seen picture of Paul drinking a Guinness and getting a foam-stache.

“I gotta run Nicole but it was so nice meeting you! Please tag me in that.” You say and Nicole nods watching you head down the street answering the phone before she turns the camera to face herself a shellshock look on her face.

“Holy shit I just met Y/n.”

y/nownsmysoul LOOKING BACK I DIDN’T EVEN NOTICE WHO CALLED HER.

mescalluver OMG THAT PIC! I just fell to my knees in the middle of the street

y/nmescal ‘Paul<3’ BITCH THEY ARE LOVERS NO DOUBT!

y/nsandpedrosbitch What is she doing in Malta? Is she there for Pedro and Paul?! I NEED ANSWERS 🛐🛐🛐

DEC 19, 2023

A new post by theeey/n_l/n

liked by pascalispunk, bigbreadpedlar, and others

theeey/n_l/n Reunited with my favorite guys

tagged: pascalispunk and bigbreadpedlar

pascalispunk I’m shredding your plane ticket you aren’t going back to NYC

theeey/n_l/n fine by me P as long as you're paying my flight back.

pascalispunk ….no

bigbreadpedlar So glad you came <3

theeey/n_l/n ofc! Had to see you in action.

jospehquinn Betrayed…I thought I was a part of the ‘guys’ Y/n. I thought we had something.

theeey/n_l/n I still love you JOSEPH!

cocoullrich The three musketeers together.

DEC 31, 2023

paulsbitch THEY CONFIRMED HOLY FUCK 😀

y/nwife BRO I FELT MY SOUL SHATTER MY LOVER IS NO LONGER MINE! 😦

joelmillerswife.soulmate I FUCKING KNEW IT SINCE THE MET GALA THEY HAD SHIT BREWING 🥳🥳

HusabandtoY/n.Paul BRO THEY BOTH ARE SO HOT. IDK WHO I’D RATHER BE.

A new post by entertainmentweekly: "Star Wars and Gladiator 2 Stars finally confirms the relationship we’ve all been dying to know. View the article to learn of the full timeline."

A new post by theeey/n_l/n

liked by pascalispunk, bigbreadpedlar, bella ramsey and others

theeey/n_l/n So happy to enter this new year with you. So excited to see what is in our future💕

tagged: bigbreadpedlar

bigbreadpedlar love you mo chroí ❤️

theeey/n_l/n 🥰

pascalispunk I’m so happy for you guys making my old heart sing.

theeey/n_l/n awww i love you P 🫶

pascalispunk ❤️

bellaramsey Stop you two are literally so cute together!

nicoparker I second that ☝🏽

zendaya Absolute cuties

A new post by bigbreadpedlar

liked by theeey/n_l/n, pascalispunk, 19irmcas, and others

bigbreadpedlar: To my favorite person — you made this year feel like magic. Can’t wait for what’s next.

tagged: theeey/n_l/n

theeey/n_l/n I love you, you big sap 💕

bigbreadpedlar I love you more

pascalispunk I’m getting cavities on how sweet you two are.

19irmcas You both are so hot

cocoullrich correct

josephquinn paul you better watch after her that is my unofficial sister!

theeey/n_l/n don’t remember our parents getting married but I love the sentiments

[saintrvckwell]

There'll be no rest for the wicked (joel miller x platonic!reader)

joel miller x platonic!teen!reader AU

summary: more than enough of your mother's vices waltzed into your life unannounced, leaving without a trace. but then, then there was joel.

warnings: heavily implied father-daughter dynamic, joel grows protective for the reader, father-daughter bond, platonic stuff and thangs, angst as well (what else i would write, lol), but man the fluff, joel works as a cop (lol howdy), trigger warning mentioned into story (there is a warning before the scene! -- nothing happens, but the nature of it implies the boy's intentions, so i rather chose to give a warning)

wordcount: 4.6k

a/n: hi! lately i found myself enjoying the joel x platonic reader stories again and figured, i could contribute myself, again. treat the daddy issues strugglers like me, ha. enjoy!

splitting this into more parts, please, be patient with me.

Your mother was never the nurturing type. For her, this word did not exist in her vocabulary. She loved you, you supposed, because there was never a clear sign. You were left to wonder. Whether she really cared and if so, where was she?

Throughout your childhood, your mother seemed like a visitor. Someone who, once in a while, passes through. There was never a holiday, spontaneous trip or even a lunch. She had lunch, just not with you. Her friends, her social life -- it was everything for her.

And it seemed, as though, you were not part of that list.

From time to time, as you were growing up, the idea of your father popped in your mind couple of times. Your mother never told you his name, went as far as to not include him in your birth certificate. There was no clue. So, for a child, who's yearning for a presence of loving parent, your imagination stepped in.

Whenever your mom would be on a business trip or simply out with your friends, you would sit on the windowsill, counting the threes below your apartment window. Until you fell asleep. Until the dreams, the wishful thinking, the cycling imagination, gave you what you had been looking for.

A father.

It was natural, you thought. You wished to be saved from your mother's claws. Unmaternal claws that suffocated you. The desire in your eyes, she saw it. But never bothered to do something about it. Your mother never cared, she never listened. She never came to your recitals, school races or when you gave a valedictorian speech.

You put your sweat and tears into it -- trying to figure out that your message will be received. It was a significant moment in your life, or so the teachers kept saying. The praises were coming from every direction, except for the one you wished for the most.

This was the moment you were hoping for -- that she would finally acknowledge your achievements and efforts. And she would come, sit in the first row and cheer you on.

But the reserved seat stayed empty.

And you found yourself standing in the middle of the parking lot, diploma in your hands; your mother nowhere to be found. You waited, for almost an hour, before pulling out the keys from your backpack and setting off, walking the streets in your graduation robe, wiping away the tears you promised yourself not to waste.

Not on her.

When instead of trying, she stayed at home.

With a man.

The anger was running through your veins and the patience was standing on the edge of a cliff.

You could go ballistic.

Who would have blamed you anyways. Your mother's attitude gave you enough reasons to scream it out of your lungs and lose control. But, perhaps, the anger was the one, standing on the top.

The bittersweet taste of disappointment, there it was again.

"Hey, how was school today?" she asked, casually, as though it was an ordinary day -- to be frank, she probably had forgotten about your ceremony anyways.

The man, standing by the kitchen island, with a glass of brandy in his hand, turned around.

Compared to what had travelled through your apartments over the years, he looked decent. Well-dressed, without an awful cologne and more importantly -- without a fake smile. Most of your mother's short-term partners would always pretend wanting to find out more about you.

When they only wanted to find out what was under your mother's clothes.

Still, it would not last forever, you thought.

"Good," you mumbled, putting the cap back on your head. "Same stuff as usual."

There was an urge to leave this uncomfortable setting but before you made a move, the strange man had noticed the clothes you had been wearing and smiled, again. As if though it was contagious.

"Congratulations," he spoke.

Your mother looked up, eyeing your appearance.

"Oh, you had the thing today, right?" she mumbled, grabbing her glass of vine.

You couldn't help but chuckle. Somehow, the bizarre kept getting worse.

"Yeah, the Valedictorian thing, if that's what you mean," you mumbled, holding onto the red case of your diploma.

"Cool," she nodded, "Hey, how about you go pick us up some celebratory dinner? Noodles down the street?"

The anger crawled back into your mind.

"It's raining outside," you shook your head.

"Ever heard of umbrella?"

You never attempted to lash out at her -- solely because of knowing the fact that she would not care. But now, when she stood next to her latest boyfriend, vine in her hand and disinterest in her eyes, you just wanted to scream.

Every symptom of emerging emotional breakdown was on its way, and you knew, you had to get out of there. Not another word said, as you departed into your room. There was no energy to slam the door -- to give a little statement.

Throwing off the robe, along with the diploma, you laid down on the cold, wooden floor and closed your eyes. Five minutes, you just needed five minutes to gather your thoughts. You got four years left, in the same household. Then you would be free.

You never understood her stance. Why was it so easy to show to all of her dates and parties, but never to yours? When you stood on the stage, reciting your speech, you could see the numerous pairs of eyes of those proud parents.

You did want her to sit among them and weep.

You just want her there.

At this point, you would be grateful for anything. For the tinniest amount of your mother's affection that she so graciously gave to her boyfriends.

"Can I come in?"

The voice on the other side of your door pulled you out of your thoughts.

There he was her boyfriend.

You did not know why he knocked on your door and frankly, you did not care. He was going to be here long, there is no point in getting to know a temporary vise.

He could not overlook the redness in your cheeks and how swollen your eyes had gotten.

At that moment, you were thankful he decided to not care either.

Or perhaps?

"So, what food for the celebration?" he asked, trying to cheer up the mood, after a minute of an awkward silence.

You frowned.

"I was thinking, since it's raining, we could take a drive and pick up something for dinner."

There was an urge to leave the house, without a doubt. And you could either take a walk and come back soaked and cold, and mainly, hungry. Or you could follow him to the front door, watch him grab the cars keys and make yourself comfortable in the passenger seat.

The further the house had gotten, the lighter your shoulders had become. The burden of your frustration kept following you everywhere, like an unwanted traveler. But now, you had a moment to breathe out a little, after everything that had happened today.

Even if it meant taking a ride with mom's newest obsession.

For a moment, you cursed yourself for not taking your phone -- since the first few minutes of your drive seemed awfully awkward. You could have at least pretended to read something profoundly engaging instead of staring out of the window, visibly trying to avoid his sight.

He was not very talkative, but still, had this odd aura that floated around the car. There was no tension, especially once he put a cassette in, having the tunes of Billy Idol fill out the space between the two of you.

He had a good taste, you thought. But still -- he was not going to be here longer than two weeks. Why invest your time, you thought.

"So, valedictorian huh?"

After ten minutes of the drive, he finally decided to break through the initial awkwardness.

You looked up from your sneakers, staring at him.

"It's just a stupid red diploma case, nothing else," you shrugged your shoulders, whilst rubbing your fingers, nervously.

He chucked, shaking his head.

"You cannot be so modest, c'mon," he so exclaimed enthusiastically, you found yourself staring at him, little taken aback. "I mean," he gave you a quick look, before locking the eyes with the green light, "You should give yourself a little credit. It is an achievement."

Somewhere, in the pits of your heart, under the walls you were forced the built, there was laying a part of you, wishing to hear this. Only if the source could have been your mother. She had these sweets words for everyone, but you. There was never an applause to be given -- not that you would be asking for it. But a little pat on the shoulder never hurt anyone.

But she never cared enough to do it. So, you settled yourself with the determination to do more, to try more. The desperation ran through your veins like fuel.

Despite the desire to hide it, his words brought a smile on your lips. With that, the awkward silence vanished, as you drove through the suburbs, with Billy Idol's White Wedding.

That evening, somewhere in the middle of ordering your victory dinner, you learned that his name was Joel. And for the first time, you caught yourself thinking that, perhaps, it would not be so bad if your mother's newest vise stayed for more than two weeks.

Over the summer, to your surprise, your mother and Joel had grown significantly closer, travelling almost all the time. You found a job at your local cinema -- with too much free time on your hand, you could have used it for something practical. Saving money was always a good choice. You spent your days watching the same comedy three times in a row, covered by the smell of cheese popcorn and splashes of coke on your sneakers.

Of course, your mother would stop by -- although, mostly to just repack and set off, again. Throughout the summer holidays, you hardly ran into each other. Usually, she left before you got home from work. She would leave a concise note on the fridge (or, if she was running late, a text message) stuck together with a small chunk of money.

As the days went by, you happened to notice the uneasiness that suddenly settled in the pit of your stomach. You knew the source very well -- the good, old, fear of missed opportunities.

It was supposed to be your last summer before high school, naturally, there was the teenage urge to do something memorable. Something, perhaps, completely out of your comfort zone.

And, as it turned out, your empty house presented an incredible opportunity.

Before this sudden urge to fit into your generation, you had never thrown a party. Frankly -- you had no clue how to throw one. Clueless to arrange but eager to learn, the help of your friends seemed as the best fit. As people more fitting for the extrovert description, it posed no issue for them.

Thus, the curse landed on your shoulders.

Certainly, you had no idea how quickly these thinks can come together. It took bunch of your friends, pack of plastic cups, one text message and before you knew, the beer was lined up by the front door and your suburban house was filled with at least thirty people from which almost a half of it were high schoolers.

Seniors, if you may add.

Quickly, they managed to turn your dining room into beer pong game hall, with liquid spilling all over your mother's expensive rugs. Only then, the feeling in your gut started to cry out for help. There were the warning signs, hanging in your mind -- but each one was followed by a cup of beer, until you found yourself looking for a balance.

You lost the track of time, somewhere between your cups, as well as of your friends. It was supposed to be one, welcoming drink. But the more your house turned into a trashcan, the bigger was the urge to kill the voice in your head, cursing you.

For being so reckless in the first place.

Before this spontaneous get together, you had not encountered alcohol -- certainly not in form as large as this one. Rules of drinking were unknown to you; not that you would be too intrigued about them, in your state.

In that moment, the only think you cared about was to stand on your own for more than two seconds. The world around you had become a little dizzy -- this state of being was completely new for you which was quite noticeable for the ones around you.

So, it happened to be a matter of time before one of the seniors posed himself as the knight in shining armor.

If only.

You were aware of his presence but paid no mind at first. After another lost round of beer pong (with no surprise, against him), you had decided to get yourself some water to freshen up. You had no desire whatsoever to lead a conversation with him, let alone anyone else. You wanted to stumble back to your bedroom, lock the door and sleep this off.

Unfortunately, in your current state, path to your bedroom down the hall felt like a ten-kilometer-long hike.

trigger warning for the part below

"Are you okay?"

He could not have asked more useless question. The false concern almost made you chuckle.

"I am absolutely perfect," you grinned your teeth at him.

"You should get some rest," he spoke, unsettling smile on his lips as he brought himself closer to you, locking your possible ways out.

He was much taller, undeniably stronger and determined.

Without a doubt, that was the worst combination.

"Thanks," a forced smile landed on your lips. You had to be smart about this, given his advantages. "But I should actually go and look for my friends."

There was an attempt to make a move, quick slip out of his claws.

You have not even fully tried it, he was already in your away, again.

"I can help you look," the creepiness of his smile imprinted on your brain. "We can search your bedroom first."

The gulp in your throat grew so big, you thought it was going to explode in your stomach, pulling everything out as well. The anxiety was circling throughout your body, up and down, the sweat was running down your shoulders, despite how cold the room had become. Every bone in your body, every nerve sent a signal into your brain.

The fear was going to swallow you whole.

You have never encountered a situation like this. The uneasiness that suddenly held so tight on you.

You could have screamed but what that be good for? Everyone around were too drunk to notice and too unbothered to care, anyways.

Or perhaps, there were exceptions.

end of the trigger warning part

Just not exactly those you would ask for, voluntarily.

You always knew that the universe had its ways to fuck with you.

But this time, this time, came the cherry on the top.

When the scream echoed around the house, buying you an escape from this situation, leaving him too shocked to notice, you ran into the shambles that once used to be your living room, coming face to face with universe's sense of humor.

Dressed in a police uniform, wearing your mother's boyfriend's face.

There he was, catching the sight of your drunken appearance.

"Oh, fuck."

Your stunned reaction came louder than you initially intended, reaching the wrong ends.

His end.

"Officer Miller, we arrived at the scene of disturbance, over..."

You mother's never mentioned his occupation -- not that you would be dying to know, but having this intel beforehand, before you had decided to tarnish your and your mother's reputation, could have been a little useful.

Now, there was no way back, as you watched three other police officers enter your nearly-destroyed house. The number of scenarios lined up in your anxious mind, one coming off worse than the previous. Frankly, just the idea of your mother receiving such phone call, interrupting her annual girls' trip, the wrath would be horrid.

After that, you would wish to be invisible, in her eyes.

You had no idea how these things work. Couple of your friends once mentioned how a party, they attended, ended being busted but the process was never shared. So, you stood there, as though your limbs had frozen, watching the cops escorting all of the kids outside.

He could have been an asshole -- with all due honesty, part of you thought he would be. Your self-made catastrophe presented an incredible opportunity to turn himself into a hero in your mother's eyes. Her brave vise that had stopped her adolescent daughter from drinking her brains out.

But when the distance between the two of you decreased and his hand landed on your arm, you founded yourself letting a sigh of relief escape through your lips.

You were not out of the woods yet.

As inconspicuously as one could, Joel walked you out of the filled living room and back into the kitchen. He was aware of the liquid courage running through your veins -- after all, he was a cop. This, most likely, was not his first rodeo.

Also, he was not an idiot.

Or so you thought, for now.

It all depended on the events that were about to unfold.

"Here," he mumbled, handing you a glass of tap water, "get some more, I will be right back."

Within a second, he was one foot out of the door.

"What now?" you called out, curiosity prevailing the fear for a glimpse of second.

"They'll do search up, so unless you wanna get your ass busted, you better stay here."

With that, he departed into the hallway, as you dissolved into your anxieties, chucking one glass after another, naively hoping the sobriety would arrive sooner.

Despite the conditions, your foggy brain was capable of holding onto the ends, getting the grasp of what was going on, from the pieces you had gathered. There had to be an advantage he had found in helping you out, you thought. The possibility of him acting on the goodness of his heart seemed too absurd to even consider.

All at once, every partner your mother had brought into your life was a copy of his predecessor. One shallow as the other, hollow and unauthentic as the one before. None of them, especially those who you once had decided to give a little faith, succeeded.

So as exaggerated as it may came to be, you could not let yourself get easily fooled. Despite the part of you that wanted to.

Undoubtedly, there was something about him, the warm your mother never had.

But once that you started building castles in the air, you knew it was over.

So, you had to snap out of your liquid-influenced thoughts and stood stern on the ground.

There was no time to be naive.

Especially, once the so-thought, banished glimpse of danger entered your space, again.

just in case, (last) trigger warning for part below

In all directions.

It still baffled you how tall and buffed he was -- he could surely pass for an adult. Adult that should have no interest in girl your age, but here he was. With that intense gaze, sheepish smile and hands that quickly found their way to your hips.

"Brought you something," he whispered, reaching into his back pocket.

He slowly reached closer, his breath brushing against your cheeks, as his hand slipped in the back pocket of your jeans, tucking something in. Only then, he pulled away, hands still resting dangerously close to your body.

"Your friend told me you're coming in September," he smiled. "Figured we could finish what we started."

In that moment, you were stone cold sober.

"I think you should go," you mumbled, rubbing your fingers. "The cops and everything.."

You had to find an easy way to let him down. Words from people like him, especially the fabricated ones, travelled faster than one would have wanted.

But he turned out to be too persistent for your abilities.

"Seriously, you're gonna get in trouble," you chuckled, as forcibly as one could, to shake off the fear.

He laughed, shaking his head.

The false care was the right string to pull, as he became more curious of the sounds coming from the living room. The voices layered over each other, mostly coming from the cops and their walkie-talkies.

He turned around, one last time -- and the second his face lowered to your height, the worst flew over your mind, as the fear squeezed you like a ball.

For the first time in your life, you found yourself wishing to throw up.

Right into his face, right all over him.

end of the trigger warning part

"What the hell are you doing here?"

But perhaps, digestive problems could have been postponed.

When you found officer Miller standing by the kitchen entrance.

Officer Miller.

You were not sure whether it was the alcohol or the bizarre nature of this situation, but there was an urge to laugh over this phrase.

How absurd, you thought, that of all people, your mother would decide to date a police officer? The more you thought about this, the more you reassured yourself that he, truly, was not her usual type.

Whether it was a good or bad thing depended on the following twenty minutes.

The obtrusive boy gave you one last, nightmarish smile, before he followed your mother's vise out of the kitchen. You could not shake off the feeling his intrusive actions had left on you -- the eerie look on his face, the smile of winner. For awakening the fear.

You wished for this situation to disappear, cursing yourself for ever having such ideas.

After a while, the house fell into silence. The sirens outside the front door started to disappear, along with the heavy steps and chatters. You could not even think of the consequences that would follow this dreadful idea.

The urge to throw up arrived again.

And the kitchen sink turned out to be the only available option. So, naturally, within a second, every liquid your body had absorbed tonight, ended up exactly there.

There was no point in asking if this situation could have gotten any worse.

Because it could.

In the middle of cleansing your organs, whilst your hands were gripping the edges of the kitchen sink, you heard the slam of the front entrance, before a set of footsteps headed towards you.

It really could get worse.

Hair disheveled, mind on a rollercoaster and balance slowly disappearing into the night. Your already skilled friends knew how to throw a party -- just did not give you the manual of processing one. For a moment, you wondered whether your cheeks were splashed by the water, or perhaps, if those were tears, running down your neck.

Nothing about this night you wished to treasure. And you knew that what was about to follow -- was right behind.

Literally.

The pat on your shoulder startled you, almost hitting your forehead against the kitchen cabinet above. Slowly, turning off the faucet, you took a deep breath, trying to keep your existence in one place -- in all senses.

Knowing your current state -- Joel chose to be careful with the physical closeness, moving his hand away as soon as the room felt quiet again. Letting you turn away on your own, he stepped back, remaining focused, just in case your balance would decide to betray you.

"Get some more water," he mumbled, hands on his hips, as he watched you jump up on the cabinet. "That ain't smart, doin' this, y'know."

"Do I look like someone who makes smart decisions?" you hissed, wiping away the drops on your chin. Perhaps, the liquid courage was awaking, you thought.

Sigh escaped through his lips, now formed into thin line.

"Where's your mom?" he asked -- stepping into his police officer demeanor, frowning.

You chuckled, shrugging your shoulders, leaving him more confused than before.

"You don't know?" you looked up, mockery tone now swallowing your voice. "I'm surprised, considering you know more about her whereabouts than I do."

The sentence left a bittersweet taste in your mouth.

The frown has disappeared, as he stood there, noticing the shift in your attitude.

"Does she know?" he asked, after a moment.

The look in his face almost made you roll your eyes. It was the typical look of someone who was about to offer you a lecture no one had asked for. Considering your experience with your mother's temporary better halfs, Joel was just passing through. None of your mother's relationships passed the three months mark. He was about to be gone in a blink of an eye.

"Look, I am trying to help you--"

Now, there it was.

The sentence, all of them had practiced. The sweet-caring tone of his voice, the pitiful look in his eyes -- all of them were the same.

Or perhaps.

You could not bet on him.

"Okay," you mumbled, chuckling again. "Good for you."

Joel's frustration started to arise. You did not make it easy on him.

He shook his head, trying to maintain his patience.

"Listen, smart ass," he stepped closer, as the frown arrived again. Although, this time with disaffection. "An ounce of gratitude would not hurt you."

Bitting your lip, you got off the kitchen counter, now standing face to face with Joel. He was much taller, with broad shoulders -- he was the epitome of someone who tried to play the good cop.

"Okay, Joel," you whispered, deadly sarcastic.

It was a risky situation; you were well aware. But the events of this evening emptied the rest of your decency.

"Thank you for being such generous police officer, even though we both know your true intentions," you smiled and curtsied.

Now there it was.

The thin ice had been broken and Joel's patience ran over the edge.

"Excuse me?" he asked, offended.

"Excuse me," you whispered. "I've got a house to clean. So why don't you go ahead and give my mother a call? She'll be delighted."

Part of you knew that being this harsh could come back and bite you in the ass. Perhaps it was the defense mechanism -- your mother had never brought an exemplary man into your life. And if they happened to resemble one and you chose to believe it, they vanished into the thin air before you knew it.

You could not settle with the thought of Joel being an exception.

For your own good -- for the high hopes you would be willing to give him.

Joel stared at you for a little, without uttering a word. Which, you chose as an opportunity to leave this conversation for good.

But it took one step in your condition, for you to fall on your knees.

Howls of pain escaped through your lips.

And two steady hands pulled you back before you managed to smack your face against the cold, kitchen tiles.

"Fuck!"

Curse words were flying left and right, though Joel had decided to ignore that. He could have paid you back -- which you were kind of expecting. Instead, with one swift move, you were back on your feet, with Joel being the one responsible for your balance.

The world around became slightly dizzy. And, for a moment, it felt as though your limbs were made out of Jell-O. The funny bubbling in your stomach made you laugh.

"I think I am gonna throw up."

Was the last thing you whispered, before leaning against the floor, letting the remaining bits of alcohol depart on the tiles.

It was Joel who, once again, caught you in the last minute.

"You really are a fuckin´ pain in the ass, kid."

It really, really, could get worse.

[whxtedreams]

Chapter 16: Crawl Home to Them

Blood Runs Thicker than Water - Joel & F!Reader (Platonic DBF!)

Summary: You fight tooth and nail to get back to Joel and Tommy, but not everything goes to plan.

Word Count: 4.4k

Tags: Loss, grief, violence, blood and injury, pain induced visions/flashbacks, descriptions of injury, captivity  

Series Masterlist - Main Masterlist - Read on AO3

Chapter 16: Crawl Home to Them

The hours pass slowly as the sun rises and falls through the sky, and you remain sitting by your father's side, anxiously awaiting Joel's return.

But Joel never comes.

Slowly, an intrusive, painful thought begins to creep into your mind: he must be dead. In the absence of any other logical explanation, you find yourself settling on that as the only plausible reason why he hasn't returned to your side.

You sit on the steps of the cabin, your hair covered in a thin layer of snow, the blood from your father's killer drips down the staircase and stains your jeans, soaking into the fabric. The bitter cold seeps into your body, but you hardly notice.

You sit still, fixated on the sight of your father slowly being buried under the falling snow. The white flakes gently descend upon his unmoving form, blanketing him in a cold, unforgiving embrace.

As the sky lightens once again, you kneel beside your father and place a gentle kiss on his forehead.

He’s so cold.

You shiver as you remove the jacket from your own back, carefully laying it over him in a silent gesture of love and farewell.

The journey back home is a grueling one, marked by the cold and the solitude that surrounds you. Every rustle of leaves or crunch of snow under your feet sends a fresh wave of adrenaline surging through your body, your heart racing in fear that someone else is lurking in the shadows, waiting to kill you just like they had with your dad.

With Joel.

As you finally reach the familiar surroundings of home, you are met with a horrifying sight: bodies of the dead scattered everywhere, filling the air with a putrid stench of death. The very essence of what once provided you with a sense of security and belonging is now tarnished, and a wave of grief and despair washes over you, breaking something deep within your soul.

Desperate for a response, you call out Tommy's name as you enter through the front door, but only silence greets you. With fear and worry building within you, you shout for both Tommy and Joel, hoping to hear their voices or see a familiar sign of life.

The stark contrast between your recent carefree morning spent solving puzzles with Tommy and the horrific scene now laid out before you is jarring. The remnants of the puzzle you had been working on earlier are scattered across the floor, their colorful pieces now stained with blood. Your father's favorite mug sits silently on the coffee table, waiting for his return.

But he’s not coming back.

Overwhelmed by a wave of grief and despair, you collapse to the floor, a heart-wrenching sob wracking your body. Your mind is flooded with the painful realization that you've lost your father, that Joel's fate is uncertain, and that you have no idea where Tommy is. The thought of being utterly alone in the world envelops you, leaving you feeling lost and vulnerable.

The onslaught of emotions becomes too intense to bear, leaving no space for any other thoughts or sensations to register in your mind.

You don’t hear the grunts as someone wakes.

You don’t hear footsteps on the stairs.

You don’t hear the person behind you.

Caught off guard, you hardly hear the presence behind you until their rough hand grips your hair and forcefully throws you to the ground. The shock and pain momentarily cut through the fog of despair, leaving you disoriented and confused.

In that moment, as you lay on the ground, a realization dawns upon you suddenly. You understand now why your father had insisted on keeping your hair short over the years.

You had hated every time he picked up those rusted scissors, the sound of them snipping through your hair ringing in your ears. Each time, you would feel a pang of annoyance and frustration, wishing your hair could be longer, like the girls in the old torn magazines you would sneak glances at.

As you are dragged across the floor, your cries escaping your lips, a profound sense of longing wells up within you. You yearn for the days when you were safe in your father's embrace, his gentle touch on your hair, and the sound of his soothing voice telling stories about the life that once was.

How you wished to be back in that place, engulfed in his embrace, far away from the nightmare that envelops you now.

The man's words seep through the fog of your thoughts, and you catch fragments of his grumbling about Tommy. He roughly pulls you into the kitchen and pushes you onto the circular dining room table, causing the remaining plates from your morning breakfast to crash to the floor in a loud symphony of shattering ceramic.

Desperation fuels your actions as you struggle against your captor, your hands desperately trying to peel away the hands grasping your hair. Your legs kick and thrash wildly, making contact with his stomach and then finding their mark with a well-aimed kick to his groin. The man curses and loosens his grip, creating an opening for you to land another kick to his face, causing him to stagger back momentarily.

With a gasp of pain, you roll off the table and land heavily amongst the shattered remnants of broken plates and mugs. The cuts from the shattered ceramic slice into your skin, the pain searing through your body. Undeterred, you push yourself up, gritting your teeth against the agony that lances through your limbs. You clamber awkwardly over the side table that separates the kitchen from the dining room, desperate to put some distance between yourself and the man.

You hear the man's curses ring out as you crawl across the wooden floor, trying to put as much distance between yourself and the approaching threat. The rough texture of the wood digs into your skin, mingling with the sharpness of the shattered ceramic. You can feel the warm trickle of blood as it flows from the open wounds on your hands and knees.

Amongst the chaos and fear, your attention is drawn to the motionless body of a woman slumped against the cabinets that line the wall. A chilling sight, you see one of Tommy's knives deeply embedded in her chest. With trembling hands, you pull the knife free, your blood mixing with hers.

The sound of glass and porcelain being crushed under his heavy boots resonates through the room as the man hauls himself over the side table. His weight landing heavily sends a rumble of tremors through the floor, echoing the impending danger that looms closer. Your heart pounds in your chest as you make eye contact with him.

The man eyes the knife in your trembling grip, a sly smile crossing his features as he points at it mockingly. "And what do you think you're going to do with that?" he sneers, his voice dripping with condescension.

A flicker of fear and uncertainty dances across your face as the man's challenging words hang in the air. For a brief moment, the thought of taking another life, of watching someone else succumb to your actions, sends a wave of trepidation through your soul.

Your instincts scream at you to turn and face your pursuer, but instead, you pivot on your heel and flee in the opposite direction, hurtling down the hallway and bursting into Tommy's room. The man follows in hot pursuit, closing the distance between you at an alarming speed.

Despite his messy tendencies, Tommy's room is packed with an array of supplies. Weapons, ammo, and explosives are discreetly hidden amongst the clutter, a testament to Joel’s practical and wary nature. Joel's familiar sighs of disapproval echo in your mind whenever he entered the room, his subtle way of expressing irritation and concern over his brother's habits.

You recall the memory of sitting on Tommy's bed, your expression turned to a disapproving frown just like Joel’s as you took in the untidy state of his room. The floor was covered with discarded clothes, empty bottles and stray scraps of metallic objects, creating a chaotic scene that clashed with your own tidy habits.

Tommy had sat behind you on the bed, a frown of concentration on his face as he attempted to braid your hair. A tattered book sat in his lap; its pages filled with detailed instructions for braiding techniques. Despite his determined expression, the results of his efforts were far from perfect, leaving you both frustrated and amused.

 You had asked him, curiously, why he kept his room in such a messy state. He had chuckled lightly before he dropped your half-braided hair, and as you turned to face him, he replied, “We’re safe here, but you never know when something might happen. It could be someone breaking in or even Joel going through my things. I never know when I might need something to defend myself with. I threw a book at Joel last week when I woke up to him going through my drawers… again. I keep telling him if he wants my magazines so bad, all he has to do is ask”

“What magazines?”

He paused. “Never mind.”

After that, you kept your own floor messy, much to Joel’s disgust.

You scramble into the room, but the man follows closely behind, his weight crashing down upon you as you fall onto the pile of Tommy's clothes from the previous night. With your hand reaching out in desperation, you clutch the nearest bottle, swinging it upwards with all your might as he turns you onto your back. The bottle connects with the man's face, shattered glass flying in all directions as you plunge the knife into his shoulder.

As the man reels in agony from the shattered glass, his shouts of anger and threats of death fill the air as he pulls the knife from his body. You scramble away from beneath him, your hand reaching out for the nail bomb sitting in front of the dresser. Just as your fingers close around the cold tin can, the man grabs your ankle and tugs you back forcefully. In a desperate act, you lash out with your free foot, landing a powerful kick to his face, buying you enough time to grab the nail bomb.

Escaping from the room, you leap over the man's grasping hands and rush out the front door, heart pounding with adrenaline. In your haste, a misplaced step on the stairs causes you to stumble and fall face-first into the cold, soft snow as your blood stains it red.

The man emerges from the house, his seething anger evident in every line of his face. Tommy's knife glints menacingly in his hand as he points it towards you, the blade still stained with blood.

The man's voice cuts through the tension-filled air as he scoffs, his words laced with condescension. "You little shit. That's not a toy, put it down, kid" he warns, taking a step closer towards you. In response, you instinctively take a step back, creating some distance between you.

The man stops in his tracks as you raise the nail bomb in your hand, a flicker of caution crossing his face. “One more step and I throw it,” you threaten, your voice trembling slightly.

"You throw it, we both die," the man cautions, but your expression remains stoical.

A standoff ensues, with you still standing at the bottom of the stairs, gazing up at him as he looms menacingly above. His gaze locks onto yours, his expression a mixture of anger and determination, silently challenging your resolve.

With a sudden lunging motion, the man hurls himself forwards, closing the distance between you rapidly. In a split-second decision, you make a desperate toss, throwing the nail bomb right at him. The bomb arcs through the air, its explosive potential ticking away as it hurtles towards its target.

The nail bomb detonates in a fiery explosion, throwing you backwards with a violent force. You tumble through the snow, your body a rag doll in the impact, as you cry out in pain. The world spins around you, disorienting your senses, and you feel your body grow heavy and still in the cold white embrace of the snow.

Cold air rips at your chest as you gasp for breath, each desperate inhalation chilling your lungs. As you look down, you see the nails and fragments of metal are embedded deep within your body. Your voice breaks out into agonizing screams, crying as your body trembles.

In between the waves of pain, your thoughts flicker to the hope of being rescued. You fervently wish for either Tommy or Joel to hear your cries and come to your aid, carrying your broken body to safety. In the back of your mind, you can almost hear their voices chiding you for being careless, worry and concern lacing their words as they tenderly tend to your injuries.

Your head lolls to the side, and through the haze of pain and tears, you see the man lying motionless in the snow. Yet, the image that forms in your mind is not the man, but your father.

As time loses meaning, you find yourself drawn irresistibly to the river that flows in front of the house. With each painful inch, you crawl and pull your aching body toward the river's edge, determined to meet your fate in its familiar embrace.

The images from your memory play out vividly in the river's rippling surface. You see your dad laughing heartily as he teases Tommy for looking like a drowned rat. And beside you, Joel, sits with a book in one hand, his other hand tenderly running through your hair, soothing.

Your mind, foggy with pain, struggles to separate the past from the present. It feels as if you can truly feel the touch of Joel’s hand, a calming presence offering comfort. But even in your delirium, you know that it's mere illusion, a figment of your wounded imagination, offering temporary solace in the face of your agony.

The sound of shouting in the distance reaches your ears, and during your torment, you twist your head away from the river. Tears well up in your eyes as you hear Joel and Tommy.

Two figures appear from the trees, and seeing them, you cry out desperately, your voice choked with pain and fear. Your heart races as you hope and pray that it's the brothers, that they have come to rescue you.

A soft touch tenderly cradles your cheeks, and as the tears clear, you see Joel's face hovering above you. Relief floods through you, his familiar features offering a small comfort during your pain.

“She could be bitten, Beck,” Tommy says, and a frown creases your brow in confusion. Something is not right; this voice doesn't sound like Tommy.

Why is he calling Joel Beck?

“Do you see any infected, Wade? Take a look around you, they tried to kill a kid.” The confusion deepens as a voice you don’t recognize as Joel's speaks, but the tone and timber are wrong. It’s not the deep, gruff voice you know so well.

Despite the pain, you muster the strength to call out his name, your hand reaching out instinctively towards the figure before you. But the smooth, delicate skin that meets your touch feels completely wrong, lacking the gruff, calloused texture of Joel's hands.

This isn’t Joel.

Your eyes blink, trying to focus and make sense of the scene unfolding before you. The world blurs and shifts as the comforting visage of Joel's face vanishes, replaced by a woman's delicate features. Confused and dizzy, you struggle to comprehend the sudden change in your surroundings.

Pain shoots through your body as you attempt to move away, and the woman grips your arms, holding you firmly in place. Frantic and desperate, you thrash and struggle, tears streaming down your face, trying hopelessly to break free from her grip.

Her voice is soft, trying to soothe you with reassurances of assistance. But in your pain and confusion, you don't want their aid. The only names that swirl in your mind, like a mantra of comfort, are Joel's and Tommy's.

The man's voice registers in your pain-filled consciousness, his words sinking in. "She doesn't want to come with us," he says, a resigned sigh escaping his lips. The woman shakes her head.

The woman's determination is evident in her tone as she retorts, "I'm not going to leave a kid out here to die alone." Your heart races in fear as she speaks, and before you can protest, the man moves towards you. With little effort, he lifts you off the ground, and you are helpless to do anything against his hold.

The last thing you think of before you pass out in the strangers’ hold, is how different he feels compared to Joel. Joel, gruff and protective, would cradle you close, his grip strong and comforting.

This man feels cold and unfamiliar, and you hate it.

The steady rumbling of the car beneath you lulls you out of unconsciousness, and your eyes slowly flutter open, catching glimpses of the silvery moonlight that filters through the car's windows. The pale light casts a gentle glow inside the vehicle, causing you to squint as your senses gradually return.

The slightest attempt to move sends waves of pain coursing through your body, and you wince as you look down at the unfamiliar clothes you're wearing. You notice the bandages covering various parts of your body, evidence that someone has tended to your injuries.

Caught in a haze of pain and confusion, your voice rasps weakly as you murmur Tommy's name. Fresh tears prick at the corners of your eyes as you take in the strange environment around you, completely different from anything you recognize.

The unexpected touch of a stranger's hand on yours jolts you back to reality. Instinctively, you recoil, yanking your hand away as if burned by the contact.

The woman's soothing words fall on deaf ears as your distrust and fear take over your thoughts. “You're safe,” she insists, “We won't hurt you." But the promises mean little to you in your current state of unease.

How can you trust the intentions of strangers?

Your body, battered and exhausted, cries out in pain, yet the soft plush seats of the car beckon you back towards sleep. The desire to rest, to ease the aching, overpowers your fear, and slowly, your eyelids grow heavy with the weight of weariness.

As sleep starts to claim you once more, your lips barely move, forming the names of Joel and Tommy, a silent plea for their presence and comfort. With each mumbled syllable, your voice grows weaker, until finally, you succumb to unconsciousness, enveloped in the deep embrace of sleep once more.

As you come to awareness, your bleary eyes take in the dimly lit surroundings. There are no windows in sight, only grey cobblestone walls which reflect the dancing light of candles that cast flickering shadows in the room.

Your eyes survey the cramped room, the bed you lay on like an island in the middle of the mess. Medical supplies are scattered on tables that line one wall. On the opposite wall, bookcases stand tall, filled with tomes and books that are surprisingly well-preserved.

Your voice, hoarse and raw, whispers Joel's name into the silent room, hoping for an answer or a familiar face to appear. You attempt to sit up, but your movements are hindered by the wires and needles that protrude from your skin, keeping you in place. Worse still, you realize that your wrists are handcuffed to the bed, firmly restraining you against your will.

Panic wells up within you as your eyes fix on the handcuffs. You pull at them with all your strength, straining against their unyielding restraint. Despite your efforts, the metal digs into your skin, the unforgiving handcuffs holding you captive.

“Good to see you’re finally awake.” A man's voice slices through the silence from the darkened corner of the room. It startles you, making your eyes dart towards the source of the words. Your heart pounds in your chest, dread settling in the pit of your stomach as you try to make out the man's features in the shadows.

The man emerges from the shadows, revealing his appearance under the dim candlelight. He is in his early thirties, his face marked by a deep scar that slashes across his forehead. His clean-shaven face and hardened features give him an intimidating aura, and you instinctively shrink away from him, warily watching his every move.

The man's apology is a sharp contrast to his intimidating appearance, and his chuckle sends a shiver down your spine. He gestures towards the handcuffs, "Sorry 'bout those," he says, his tone laced with mild amusement. "We didn't want you hurting yourself when you woke up in a strange and dark place."

“Where am I?” You say.

He leans against the medical table, pushing up the sleeves of his black button-up as he looks down at you without answering right away. He seems to be studying you, assessing your condition in the dim light. The silence between your question and his response stretches out, causing your heart to race with anticipation.

“Where am I?” You repeat yourself.

With a smile, the man spreads his arms, gesturing around the room as if presenting a prized possession. "We call it The Refuge," he says. His words sound almost comical, given the bleak and cramped surroundings. It's hardly a refuge but a place of confinement.

You can't help but scoff at the man's words, rattling your handcuffs once more. The metal links rub against each other, the sound echoing loudly in the quiet room. "Doesn't seem like a refuge to me," you retort, your voice dry and filled with sarcasm.

A short laugh escapes the man's lips as he listens to your words. He pushes off from the table and saunters over to your bed, pulling a set of keys from his pocket. The metal keys jangle as he twirls them around his index finger, the sound adding to the tension in the room.

The man stops beside your bed, keys dangling from his raised hand. He quirks an eyebrow at you, his gaze scrutinizing your face. "Are you going to try and run if I uncuff you?" he asks, his voice a mix of caution and mild amusement. He holds the keys up, making the metal jingle once more as he waits for your response.

You consider your options, the desire to escape overwhelming you. In your mind, you yearn to be back home with Joel and Tommy, where you feel safe. But, as you take stock of the pain that still courses through your body, you realize that attempting a dash for freedom would be foolish. Not only would it be painful, but you doubt you could even make it to the door, let alone leave the room without collapsing.

So, you shake your head.

The man's smile softens as he moves closer, stepping up to the side of the bed. He brings the keys to your wrists, the metal clinking as he searches for the right key. With a click, the cuff on your left hand comes undone, the man moving around the bed to do the same to your other hand. The cold metal slips off, freeing your wrists from its vice-like grip.

The man pulls the chair closer to your bedside, its legs screeching against the stone floor, before plopping down into it with a sigh. He sits down, leaning back with a casual nonchalance that is at odds with your dire situation. "I was surprised when my brother told me they brought in a kid," he says, his tone tinged with curiosity. "We don't see a lot of you anymore, let alone in the state you were in. You really put up a fight."

You glower at the man, your teeth grinding together as you process his words.

The man continues to speak, his voice unnervingly calm as he mentions that there are a few couples inquiring about you, interested in taking you in. Your heart clenches at the thought, and you shake your head fiercely, a wave of fresh panic washing over you. The thought of being placed with strangers, in a new place without Joel or Tommy, is too much to bear.

 "I’m not staying here," you assert, your words edged with a hint of defiance. "They'll come looking for me," you add, the certainty in your voice masking the fear that lurks beneath.

"Joel and Tommy, right?" he asks, and your eyes widen, both horrified and relieved that he seems to know who you're talking about. "You mumble in your sleep," he explains with a chuckle.

The man's tone shifts from nonchalant to one of sorrow and understanding as he speaks, his expression becoming serious. "Listen kid," he begins, his words heavy with a sadness you can almost feel. "I don't want to give you bad news, but they're dead." The sudden declaration leaves you stunned, your heart plummeting at the thought that Joel and Tommy are gone. "My brother checked the resort, there was no one left alive."

“You’re lying.”

The man's lips twitch into a small, sympathetic smile and he leans forward, patting your arm. "I'm sorry," he says quietly.

The man rises from his chair, his presence no longer looming over you. Your eyes remain downward, refusing to meet his gaze as tears begin to blur your vision.

The man walks towards the door, pausing for a moment to look back at you. "A nurse will be by shortly to check on you," he says, his voice gentle. "Once you're up to it, I'll make sure you're put with someone to care for you. Who knows, you might find you like this place." The words seem hollow and empty as he leaves the room, the sound of the door closing behind him echoing in your ears.

You can feel the hot, salty tears streaming down your face, staining your skin. Your eyes flutter shut, refusing to accept the harsh reality the man told you. You cling to the belief that Joel and Tommy are alive, that they will find you and bring you home to safety. The tears keep falling as you silently pray that your hope isn't misplaced.

And if they don’t come for you, you’ll crawl home to them.

Click here for Chapter 17- Comming soon

Notes

Sorry for the wait, I’ve been sick and have not had the energy to write this chapter. It’s heavy, so I had to be in the right mindset for it. I’m anxious about fight scenes, but I tried! Also there’s one more chapter left of part two! Then we move on to part three! I’m excited to write the new part!

If you want to be tagged, please comment on the masterlist for this series and I will add you. If you want to be taken off, please DM so i don't miss your request.

Every comment, like and reblog means the world to me. please let me know your thoughts about this, i want to ramble about this story so much.

tags: @sunandmuun , @rain-soaked-sun, @frootloops1213 , @samarav , @geralallfandoms , @joelmillersblog , @severussimp , @kitdjarin1 , @yesjazzywazzylove-blog , @justanotherteen12 @lils-1979 @elisha-chloe , @faith-alons26 , @ayedomino0 , @yellowismyfavcolor

[afictionaladventure16]

bb I'm feeling the angst and hurt/comfort hyperfixation choking me out. what about... Pedro's daughter is incredibly stressed out. She doesn't ask for help because she doesn't want to be a bother. It comes to a head and she breaks down crying when he asks how her day is. Being the amazing dad he is, he cares for his baby and makes sure she takes a break and gets extensions for assignments

Stressed Out (Pedro Pascal x Daughter!Reader)

Pedro Pascal Masterlist

Word Count: 1,712

A/N: I got you, bb!!! <3 I hope this isn't too short btw!! I hope you like it!!

Warnings: mentions of burn out.

Pedro had been keeping a close eye on your door, watching the small glow of light coming from underneath. It had been over two hours since you last came out and when you did, you barely said a word. He didn’t want to seem like an overbearing father going in to check on you 24/7, but he also didn’t want you to think he didn’t care. 

Maybe this was all his anxiety getting to him. 

“What is she doing?” He asked himself as he got up from the position on the couch. He hesitates walking over to your room, and eventually, he allows himself to go cook dinner. “I’ll cook dinner and then if she doesn’t come out, then I’ll check on her,” he tells himself. 

You, on the other hand, were stressing out about all the assignments that somehow your teachers had due in the same week. You had no idea how it all came crashing down on you, as a well-organized person, you always had everything done on time and never dealt with things being due all in the same week, until now. 

You had not had a good night's rest since Thursday night. It is Tuesday. Most of your weekend was spent trying to figure out what assignment you could do the quickest and which one needed your most attention. Then you spent a good amount of your weekend researching and crying and then doing more research and some more crying. 

Part of you was glad that your dad had to be away for most of the day because you didn’t have to deal with him coming in every hour to check on you. Also, you didn’t have to bother him for help. Even if he had offered, you’d still refused because you didn’t want to be a bother. It wasn’t his mess, but yours. 

“Focus, Y/N,” you said to yourself, it was hard to keep your eyes open. They were closing every other minute, stinging with any little breeze that came from the A.C. Growing heavy with every waking moment, you wanted so badly to just close them for a few minutes, but you knew it wouldn’t just be a few minutes. 

Naps were a no-go, there wasn’t any time in your schedule for them. You slapped your face, hoping that the stinging of your cheek would distract you from the stinging of your eyes, and for a moment it worked. Only a moment. Then it was both your cheek and eyes stinging and no work getting done. 

You groaned to yourself, resting your head on your desk, “Fuck me,” you muttered. 

Your current subject was Chemistry and boy did you hate chemistry. Yes, the concept and the way it works are interesting, and the experiments you did were cool and interesting, but the work? Difficult. You hated it. You weren’t a chemistry type of person. Nor were you a math person. 

You sat at your desk, staring at the word problem in front of you for about thirty minutes. The longer you stared at it, the less sense it made. You moved the paper to the other side of your desk, maybe if you looked at it from a different angle it would make more sense. You knew it wouldn’t work, but at this point you were desperate. 

A knock at your door disrupted your thoughts, “Come in,” you said softly. 

Your dad walked in, a smile on his face, “Hey, not sure if you smelled it, but dinner is just about ready.” 

You hadn’t. You were so focused on your homework that you didn’t even smell dinner and you didn’t notice how hungry you were. Maybe some food in your system would help. 

“Thank god,” you muttered as you got up from your desk, following your dad out into the kitchen. 

“Mind setting up the table?” He asked as he gestured towards the small mess of miscellaneous items on the kitchen table. 

You groaned at the sight, “Can’t we just eat at the counter like we always do?” 

He chuckled, “Alright, but I swear, we keep putting it off.” You didn’t say anything else, your mind lingered back over to the assignments that were waiting for you at your desk. You could be finishing them right now. Your dad noticed how you got quiet, “you okay, hon?” 

You hummed a response, sitting down on the stool next to the counter. “Looks like something is on your mind.” 

“It’s nothing,” you said with a smile.

He sighed, placing one of the plates down, “Mija, I know you too well to know when you’re lying to me.” He walked over to you, leaning against the counter. “What’s on your mind?” 

You let out a shaky breath, “School,” you said as tears began to well up in your eyes. 

Your dad's face instantly softened, “Oh, Cariño, what’s wrong?” 

You took in a deep breath, “I’m just stressed out,” you began, “I have two assignments for chem due on Thursday, Two Essays due Friday, Three assignments for Calculus, and an art project all due Friday too.” 

Your dad wouldn’t say it to your face, but you were fucked. It was a lot of assignments and so little time. “Oh, Mija,” he cooed. “No wonder you’ve been locked up in your room!” 

You let out a small sob, and your dad pulled you in for a hug, “I don’t know what to do,” you sobbed. “I’ve been working nonstop on my assignments since Thursday, I barely got any sleep over the weekend. I’m so tired, Dad.” 

“Mija, how come you didn’t tell me?” he asked. 

“I didn’t want to bother you,” you sobbed into his shirt. 

He let out a disappointed sigh, rubbing your back gently. “Mija, you’re never bothering me when it comes to these things, you know I’d rather you tell me than you be all stressed out.” 

You let go of the embrace, wiping your nose with the sleeve of your shirt, “I didn’t want you to feel stressed. I know you had a long weekend with all the press you had to do.” 

“Just because I have to stand in front of a camera and answer a few questions for a duration of time, doesn’t mean you can’t tell me these things. You come first in my life, if there is something you need help with I want you to tell me. I’ll make arrangements,” he gently wiped away the tears on your face with his thumbs. 

“I’m sorry,” you whispered. 

It was beginning to all make sense, why you hadn’t come out of your room and why you were always yawning around him. He was slowly starting to believe that you thought he was boring. 

“It’s okay, but from now on you tell me if you need help, okay?” You gave him a small nod, and he placed a kiss on your forehead. “Alright,” he began, “this is what we’re going to do. I’m going to go to your school tomorrow and ask for extensions on your assignments, you are also going to take the night off. That means no more working on these assignments for the night, okay?” 

“But-” 

“No buts or ifs about it, senorita!” He said sternly but with a smile on his face. “Tomorrow when you get home from school we’re going to work on your assignments together, Okay?” You nodded, “Now go change into your pajamas and hop into bed and wait for me.” 

“What about dinner?” 

“Go!” 

You rolled your eyes and jumped off the stool, your dad placed a quick kiss on your cheek before you walked off. 

“Aye esta nina,” he muttered to himself as he watched you walk down the hall. He couldn’t believe that you tried to hide this from him, especially since you told him almost everything. But it was okay, he was going to make sure you got the help you needed for your assignments. 

After a few minutes, Pedro carried two plates with him to your room. You were already laying down under the covers when he walked in, “thought you were going to send me to bed without dinner,” you commented. 

He chuckled, “Nope, we’re having dinner in bed,” he stated, placing one of the plates on the bedside table before handing you the other plate. He laid down beside you, grabbing his plate. Your dad grabbed the remote that was on the bedside table, “alright, what are we watching?” You shrugged, “Paddington 2?” 

You groaned in annoyance, “Not Paddington 2, I already feel shitty, I don’t wanna feel shitty and sad.” 

“Alright, alright, no Paddington 2. Even though it’s a masterpiece.” You rolled your eyes at his comment, “I know!” He exclaimed. 

You watched as he began to put in the letters in the search bar, “Bridesmaids?” 

“It’s a classic!” 

You couldn’t help but let out a small laugh, “alright, I can agree with that.” 

You were quick to finish your dinner, laying your head on your dad's shoulder as the sound of his laughter slowly drifted you to sleep. 

Pedro wasn’t sure when you had fallen asleep and he wouldn’t have noticed if it wasn’t for your snores. He smiled to himself as he gently moved you so you were in a better position on the bed. He grabbed the plate from your lap before attempting to leave the bed, but he felt a tug on his sleeve. 

“Don’t leave,” you muttered in your sleep. 

He sighed, “I’ll be right back,” he whispered. He was quick to go place the dishes in the sink and get into his pajamas before heading back to your bedroom. 

He got back into the bed, “Cuddle, por fav.” (please) 

He chuckled, you hadn’t asked to cuddle since you were little and he had missed it if he was honest. “Alright,” he said as he lifted his arm so you could lay beside him. He placed another kiss on your forehead, “Go mimis, mija, I’ll be right here.” That was all you needed. You were safe in his arms and you knew that you could get a good night's rest now. Your assignments could wait one day. Your dad moved a strand of hair out of your face, “my stubborn girl,” he whispered. 

Pedro Pascal Taglist:  @tracysnook  @cilliansangel  @change-the-world-someday  @graciegoeskrazy @oggystine93 @t-stark35 @twkobii @picklehat3r @welcometomyworldwithoutrules @white-wolf-buckaroo @steadydragongalaxy @rooting4theantihero @soupinasock @Ilovehotdadsandshit @dzaga890 @marantha @emmasauger @marysucks-blog @pcotato

[moiravim]

Found

Dad!Din Djarin x Teen!GN!yn

Summary: you sneak into the Mandalorian's ship in hopes to find something valuable. When he catches you, you realize you've found something much better than you were hoping for.

You were sneaking into a strange space ship. It was the largest one you've ever seen. You had seen someone walk out of it and decided to go check if there was anything that would be useful for you. Money, food, or pretty much anything that you could sell.

That was, until you heard the doors shut. It worried you for a minute but then you decided you'd make an exit when the owner of the ship came back.

The ship lifted off the ground. You fill your pockets with random supplies before running back to the closed door. You try opening it and search for a button to open it.

It doesn't work. You can't find any way out. You wait out the time until the ship reaches it's next destination

When the ship settles back down you sigh in relief. Then, a mandalorian walked into the main room of the ship. He towers over you and your jaw drops.

Your hands start to shake and anxiously play with each other as you look up at the scary man.

Tears fill your eyes and you hear him sigh. "Show me your pockets." You empty out everything you had stolen as you start to sob.

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry. Please" you cry out. He takes his things and puts them in their place as you try to explain everything to him.

"I didn't mean to- I mean- I'm sorry. Please, I don't have a lot of money, I just thought- I thought..." Your words are drowned out by your sobs.

He guides you over to a chair and you sit down in it. "Where are your parents?" He says.

The silence answers his questions. You shiver and he hands you a small blanket that you wrap around your arms.

He walks back to the room where he has just been and comes back with a small green creature.

"This is Grogu. I expect the two of you to stay here. I will be back." He says as he opens the door and walks out.

I look outside to see a town that looks nothing like your home. You wipe the last few tears in your eyes before looking around for something to do.

When he comes back he says nothing. He picks up Grogu and motions you to follow him. He sets Grogu down in his chair and sits down in his own.

You stand akwardly and the man points to an empty spot. You sit down and he nods.

"I'm Din." He says, breaking the silence. "...YN" you respond. He had already known he was gonna let you stay but this was the moment you had realized.

You slept on the way to wherever he had to go next. Although he tried his best to hide it, he had a soft spot for you. He was also extremely overprotective of you and wouldn't let anything bad happen to you.