#only its life!!!
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The plus side of being too busy to watch shows or get super deep into any games is that I’m so active that my only media consumption is audiobooks at work and at school so I can finally get in on all those funky book fandoms!!! :D
#lifeblogging#so…. darkstalker huh?#i’m in the middle of his book and goddamn#HOLY SHIT its great#loving it 10/10#im also gonna listen to warrior cats maybe when im donw with it#cause i gotta brush up on my cat lore#i have so many books on my list its not even funny-#and i still have to do wayward children and percy jackson too!!!!#and i mean- dont get me wrong an active life is still pretty enjoyable#im actually getting regular exersise now#and working really hard#and getting a higher education#im doin everything that can be considered ‘normal’ and its kinda fun#its like im playing some fun game of pretend!#like how you play house as a kid#only its life!!!#i’ve gameified it a lot#and its going great#but i havent been able to exist as much online#which is maybe good#but yeah! getting caught up on all them books#its really enjoyable actually#its like- even though im working and doing all this nonsense and studying#i can still BURN through media like a wildfire and make tons of ocs and self inserts and fanfic#and then also do my schoolwork#and like- i REALLY enjoy school sometimes cause i getca lil dopamine rush everytime i get high grades#which is often#i feel so smart and so awesome#i completed 2 quizzes in under 3 minutes and got hundreds on both
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lead balloon (the tumblr post that saved me)
if this comic resonated with you, it would mean the world to me if you donated to this palestinian family's escape fund.
--
no creative notes because this isn't that kind of comic.
I know I don’t owe any of you anything but I still felt compelled to write about my long term absence. And I feel far enough away from the dangerous spot I was in to be able to make this comic. I have a therapist now, and she agreed that making this could be a very cathartic gesture, and the start of properly leaving these thoughts behind me. I am still, at seemingly random times, blindsided by fleeting desires to kill myself. They’re always passing urges, but it’s disarming, and uncomfortable. I worry sometimes that my brain’s spent so long thinking only about suicide that it’s forgotten how to think about anything else. Like, now that I've opened that door for myself, I'll never be able to fully shut it again. But I’m trying my best to encourage my mind in other directions. We'll see how that goes.
I am still donating all proceeds from my store to Palestinian causes. So far, I've donated over $15K, not including donations coming from my own pocket or the fundraising streams which jointly raised around $10K. In the time since I made my initial post about where this money would be going, the focus has shifted from aid organisations to directly donating to escape funds.
If you'd like to do the same, you can look at Operation Olive Branch, which hosts hundreds of Palestinian escape funds or donate to Safebow, which has helped facilitate the safe crossing and securing of important medical procedures for over 150 at-risk palestinians since the beginning of the genocide.
#cw: suicidal ideation#cw: suicide#cw: self harm#cw: mental health#cw: depression#i made the balloon the main representation of my self destructive urges for a reason but im not going to explain it#i tried to keep a lot of the details in this vague#it would be my worst nightmare if this comic encouraged someone to hurt themselves#so. please dont#for a long time even the thought of making this comic felt so insipid and narcissistic#with the state of the world as it is#having the only threat to your life be yourself felt so privileged and trite and shameful#but doing this comic made me sit down and process things in full#and im just. very grateful i didn't give in to my thoughts back when i sincerely felt i'd be more useful to the world dead#i also feel the need to say that this wont represent everyone's battle with mental illness. its unfortunately different for all of us#there is no fix-all#and im afraid this might be one of those comics that either resonates a lot or misses the target by a mile#i made it for myself foremost. and now that its done im glad i did it#thank you for reading#and please stay alive#stillindigo art#stillindigo comics
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found out about the existence of this pairing like a month ago and im already in love with these two <33
#transformers#tf#tf g1#starscream#jetfire#skyfire#jetstar#skystar#my art#genuinely funny that i knew about starscreams existence all my life but i NEVER heard of skyfire#so it was insane to find out that scream all this time had a big kind bf😭😭#i thought people shipped scream only with megs but oh my god... scream can actually have a healthy relationship with someone🥺#its not a diss on megastar from time to time i kinda shipped them xd (i didnt know about the possibility of other ships)#but yeah ive known about skystar only for like a month and they already destroyed me with how cute theyre while still having SO much angst
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*proceeds to drink the whole bottle*
Yeah Alastor you're gonna be loved and appreciated wether you want it or not :)
#hazbin hotel#hazbin hotel fanart#hazbin alastor#hazbin rosie#radiorose#platonic radiorose#qpr radiorose#even tho they have no idea what label to put on their relationship at this point#hazbin comic#comic#my art#autodesk sketchbook#it probably looks ooc from alastor to react like this but poor man has only learned his whole life that relationships have a hierarchy#“marriage > a simple friendship” in his brain and it's confusing for him that Rosie would put her friendship with him over that#also Rosie was pissed of how terrible her date went and as soon as she comes home Alastor sides with her ex husband#just to explain why she got angry so quickly basically they couldnt really understand each other that's why they got angry#I love cute fluffy radiorose but its good to see them argue sometimes eheh#I needed to get this idea out of my system and made it into a whole comic
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his therapist woulda had a field day at their next appointment
#my art#doodle#fanart#resident evil 8#ethan winters#i think its so funny that he has a journal in re8. not only does he have a journal but he illustrates it. i dont know if capcom intended to#imply that ethan stops every now and then to jot down the horrors and the hour that the horrors occur my guess is prolly not#but now its there and it makes me laugh. i shouldnt laugh at his mental health journey but i am anyways#shoutout to people who journal i wish i was you but instead i draw a guy feelin my emotions for me#but im so happy the sun goess away at 5pm. truly immaculate. i miss snow. but we stay chillin#i made more dear diary doodles but these were my favs n they went well together#i changed the entry in the 2nd one though cause i thought it was funnier to me this way#i cut my hair too short again im not even sad about it anymore like whatever man#at least its out of my way. and my shower was SO fast i got to stand there 5ever and it was still only like 15 minutes#fantastic. there are so many joys in life. theres twice as many horrors but the joys are definitely there and they are definitely joyful#anyways thats the post stay warm n cozy out there gang
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do you guys think Karl Marx would've liked Thrift Shop by Macklemore and Ryan Lewis because it promotes waste reduction and the subversion of both capitalism generally and brand commodification¹ specifically through second hand buying or do you think he would not like it because it still promotes consumption as an activity especially of items one does not actually need.² or do you think he'd like it cause it's a banger³
References
¹ Macklemore & Ryan Lewis. (2012). Thrift shop. s.n. [2:38]: ""They be like, "Oh, that Gucci? That's hella tight", I'm like, "Yo, that's fifty dollars for a T-shirt", Limited edition, let's do some simple addition, Fifty dollars for a T-shirt, that's just some ignorant bitch shit, I call that getting-swindled-and-pimped shit, I call that getting tricked by business, That shirt's hella dope, And having the same one as six other people in this club is a hella don't"
² Macklemore & Ryan Lewis. (2012). Thrift shop. s.n. [1:29]: "They had a broken keyboard, I bought a broken keyboard, I bought a skeet blanket, then I bought a knee board"
³ trust
#ive been bothering everyone in my life asking this because i think its really really funny#only 1 of my friends has played along and given me a fr answer#if this doesnt post im going to freak out
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When your Dad's boyfriend cheats on him with... Santa Claus!?
Merry Christmas Ace Attorney nation!!!!
#AAAA ITS FINALLY DONEE#one of the most tedious pieces ive made yet#im so proud of myself for finishing it on Christmas#ace attorney#ace attorney christmas#phoenix wright#miles edgeworth#trucy wright#apollo justice#kay faraday#aa#ace attorney fan art#click for highrr quality cuz tumblr does mysterious stuff to my art#Apollo thinks hes the only one who knows Santa isn't real and is having a crisis over how he would explain this to them#Kay and Trucy are messing with him and is 100% aware that's Phoenix#or Kay is the only one aware its Phoenix bcs one time Edgeworth accidentally told her Santa isn't real#she cried to mess with him she already knew#he felt so bad (mission success)#shout out to JC Leyendecker#my idol for life#eighteenth's art
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I wish we could have met in some other way.
Lawlight Week Day 2: Soulmates
If you saw me repost and re-edit this several times uh No you didn't </3
Still frames/Individual gifs:
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If you know what every frame is from you get a free cookie. by the way
#death note#dn#light yagami#l lawliet#lawlight#oh god here we go#death note jdrama#death note 2015#death note 2006#death note musical#lctw#l change the world#dntm#lawlightweek2024#my art#collapses i am NEVER putting this much effort in one piece ever again /hj this was the Only one i had mostly prepared in advance#ironically the most painstaking part about making this entire thing was converting the images into an animated file#that wasn't either horrifically compressed or just. wouldn't loop. why do gifs have to look so BAD it's so inconvenient#and THEN i realized I had to forcibly Stitch the two animations together so they would actually be synced and it wouldn't look dumb#and the end result is STILL so compressed. because Tumblr. uhhh just don't click on it it'll look so scuffed LOL. anyways#this is what i get for watching Every Adaptation of Death Note. i am a death note multiverse truther#usually i'd have something clever to say in the tags but. this drained the life out of me just uh.#yeah. they're doomed in every universe. this is the only way they could've met. they are doomed by their own natures and the#circumstances that surround them. there is no universe where light tries to prevent L's death. and even in the cases where L Doesn't die#there is no universe where L can save light. there is no universe where he can truly “catch” Kira and make him see where he went wrong#(<- if you read LCTW you know. :) )#in every universe and adaptation L will call Light his first friend. in some universes they'll take that notion more seriously than others#no matter what one of them will die due to the other. its the only constant. it's the only way it can ever be. they are the others downfall
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YO TREY CLOVER IS HERE !!!
TREY NOOOO you weren't supposed to look so cool, I was supposed to be able to save my keys for all the upcoming birthdays, how could you do this to me --
also hey. hey Trey. what's in that bowl.
#art#twisted wonderland#twisted wonderland spoilers#twisted wonderland episode 7 spoilers#twisted wonderland book 7 spoilers#twisted wonderland episode 7 part 12 spoilers#twisted wonderland book 7 part 12 spoilers#don't get me wrong i am a trey enjoyer and i was expecting some pretty art but MAN they just went as hard as possible didn't they#i want to scoop up that color palette and spread it on some toast#love that they've just gone full neon casino lighting for the hearts boys 🤌🤌🤌#this card art is doing its darnedest to make up for the general lack of trey ssrs#anyway looking forward to freaking out about the rest of chapter 12 for the next couple of weeks!#can't wait to see how trey saves the day by making a cake taste like dirty socks or something#(no but i maintain that trey is actually the most ridiculously overpowered character in twst if you think about it)#(he could end malleus' reign of terror by replacing his head with a potato but he simply chooses not to)#(he has chosen a quiet life of culinary arts and dental hygiene over glorious power)#(i am only like...60% joking about this)#(somebody's gotta make sure riddle doesn't actually explode after all)
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kris and noelle discuss critically acclaimed fps game half dead 2, their missing siblings, and obscure human musicians like claude debussy
#utdr#undertale#deltarune#noelle holiday#kris dreemurr#my art#YEA ITS A HALF LIFE REFERENCE SORRY I ONLY KNOW ONE THING
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can life series mumbo k jumbo stop seeking for grian everytime he starts burning im gonna start having delusions again
#tw injury#tw lava#tw fire#well hes only burnt up infront of him like. two out of three life series hes in#its really just weird how hes burnt up in front of him twice. /j#wild life series spoilers#secret life#secret life mention#wild life smp#life series smp#life series spoilers#wild life fanart#grian#grian fanart#mumbo jumbo#mumbo jumbo fanart#grumbo#waffle duo#trafficshipping#kinda#Ichikarume Art#secret life smp#secret life fanart
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just finished the book HUALIAN HUALIAN HUALIAN IM GOING INSANEEEEEEE
#tgcf#tian guan ci fu#heaven official's blessing#xie lian#hua cheng#hualian#hob#mo xiang tong xiu#mxtx#danmei#digital art#artist on tumblr#my art#illustration#NO U DNOT UNDERSTAND I WAS SOBBING#IF YOUR DREAM IS TO SAVE THE COMMON PEOPLE THEN MY DREAM IS ONLY YOU#I AM FOREVER YOUR MOST DEVOTED BELIEVER#MXTX WHAT IN DA HELL#SINUNTOK ANG FUCKINNG PADER#THIS IS IT ITS HUALIAN FOR LIFE NAW#such an incredible book btw ive been gutted many times its amazing
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lighthearted.
if this comic resonated with you, please consider donating to this palestinian escape fund (vetted by @/nabulsi and @/el-shab-hussein) as it is less than $7,000 away from it's goal.
i turn 24 today. To celebrate, I made this comic to be a spiritual successor to lead balloon, a comic in which I talked about the darkest period of my life so far.
A lot has changed since my 23rd birthday and this one. My priorities have shifted a lot, in ways that I think are mostly good. But i think the best part about today is that suicide has gone back to being a far away notion. I'm really lucky, and I'm grateful for that.
#yet another largely personal comic that kind of only has real impact to maybe four people#it's crazy what a difference a few months makes#and a trip to the beach that makes you glad you're still alive.#the last page is just me drawing my friends and I as our respective art sonas#credit to my best friend for inventing the designs#i keep copying their shit but its their fault for always having good ideas#ugghhh i love the people in my life so much and im so thankful for them#one of my friends gave me a vintage camera for my birthday#im going to take so many photos i could paper my walls with them#thank you for reading#stillindigo art#stillindigo comics
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"You Have Succeeded Your Task"
#im so#uh#normal#about this guy#cant believe the two sunflower folks (pearl and scar) were the last two#crazzyyy#love this earth winner#goodtimeswithscar#gtws fanart#pearl is there but its only her hand so i wont tag her#secret life spoilers#secret life#secret life smp#traffic smp#trafficblr#cw blood#my art
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The Ballet
My favorite piece so far, it's only about five inches tall but it took me a very long time
#I love my lesbian harlequins#ceramic art#ceramics#clay#clay art#pottery#independent artist#art#clowns#clown art#clownblr#clowncore#harlequin#harlequins#circus#clown#gay#sapphic#wlw#wlw yearning#soft wlw#very lonely when i made this one#pierrot#clay sculpting#sculpture#carving#that chin bothers me every day of my life#its the only part i wish i could fix..#my artwork#porcelain
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In the past, people in the Animal Crossing community would make fun of Tom Nook as a sleazy landlord. Since then, he's really rehabilitated his image as this 'heart of gold' businessman (he's the one who puts bells and furniture in trees for you to find! he adopted orphans! he donates to charity!), but New Horizons genuinely paints the most devious version of him.
He's successfully privatized settler colonialism: you pay HIM to move to a "deserted island" (which apparently the oceans in the AC world are just full of) and start a colony that he is directly invested in. At best he's running a weird vacation package scam (you arrive on the island with no money and in debt for "using his services"). At worst, he's using you to set up company towns. For god's sake, he literally has his own fake currency that he forces you to use to pay off your debt. But don't worry, he's repackaged it in a way that definitely doesn't sound like an MLM scam: the Nook Mileage Program!
You're no longer just his tenant or his temporary part-timer, you're his business lackey. The entire tutorial section of the game has you spending actual weeks running around completing tasks and doing hard labor to set up his colony. You're even tasked with preparing his properties and finding buyers for them. No, you aren't a tenant anymore. You work for the landlord. You are directly responsible for finding tenants for him. And he doesn't even fucking pay you. Not for setting up town hall and museum, or his nephew's shop –– which is the ONLY store on the entire island that sells necessities –– or bringing KK Slider to town, or helping populate his town. Not a single cent. No, actually, you have to pay HIM to BUY infrastructure like bridges and stairs and park benches. And all the while, he's telling you're the "resident representative"; you get to call the shots! That the reward is the community's progress. That what you're doing is in everyone's best interest (but most importantly, his).
Since NH's release, people have done a lot of legwork to say that Tom Nook isn't a capitalist while the game shows him at his very worst. He owns the only general store in town. You're forced to use a phone that he modified and branded as his own. Buy Nook-branded furniture and merchandise at the self-serve kiosk in the town hall, a governmental building! There's no conflict of interest here!
But hey, if you're tired of being the landlord/business mogul's goon, you can also find work as a deluxe resort home designer for a company that also pays you in their special company currency that can only be used to buy their products instead of a real salary! Because that's what the Animal Crossing franchise needs! More vacation homes!!!
#this is a really long winded way to say i really really really really hate new horizon's storyline and player role#i really hate that not only your house but the entire TOWN. the whole COMMUNITY you're a part of is owed to tom nook's business#i really hate the “vacation getaway package” angle because it shows just how commercialized the entire premise of nh is#and how lost the game is in its original core concept#animal crossing is about the experience of moving to a new town and becoming a part of that community#just to compare: all past ac games have a similar opening#you're on a bus or train or taxi to someplace new. a stranger strikes up a conversation and you get to know them before arriving#new horizons opens with you at customer service desk filling out an client application before a flight.#in prev games working for nook in the tutorial is meant to be demeaning. you want it to be over with so you can actually start living life#but in new horizons working for tom nook IS your life. and it's so rewarding! don't you feel rewarded?#you aren't a person. you aren't a new neighbor. you're tom nook's client. and then his unpaid employee. and the game insists it's fun to be#that's how void the game is#because it's bad enough that a rpg life sim got turned into a sandbox game where you have to build the town yourself#but the only reason why you're building it is because the landlord who you're in debt to TOLD you to build it.#everything is a rewards program! everything is a tour service! be sure to do your daily tasks to earn nook bucks to spend on nook merch!#that really sucks imo.#i mean. the entire game is based around the vacationing industry. of course it all feels fake and temporary. it's only a vacation.#long post#rant#not art#god the fact that your starter villagers can't even decide where to live you have to decide for them#i've never played a game that does the opposite of handholding#where instead it's the PLAYER who has to handhold the npcs through everything. and newsflash!! it's really exhausting and boring
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