#i thought people shipped scream only with megs but oh my god... scream can actually have a healthy relationship with someone🥺

[xpurplepiex]

found out about the existence of this pairing like a month ago and im already in love with these two <33

[dweetwise]

presenting the weirdest and crackiest but also fluffiest shit i’ve ever written, i bring you nearly 5k words of riconti snail au snippets. if you haven’t seen @skllyr‘s adorable art about them, you should!

ship: felix x ace warnings: none word count: 4850

Felix X Ace: Love is stored in the snail

Ace Visconti thought he’d seen it all; from lavish spectacles of prestigious poker tournaments to the dangerous underworld he inevitably ended up involved with, and finally to a realm where the laws of nature meant nothing and death wasn’t permanent. But what eventually takes the cake for Weirdest Shit Ace Has Ever Seen isn’t one of the otherworldly monsters hunting him or seeing one of his numerous wounds heal up right before his eyes; it’s a snail. A goddamn snail. It just appears at the campfire one day, sitting on top of a medkit Dwight reaches for and causing the boy to yelp in surprise once he sees the small stowaway. Ace doesn’t quite understand why everyone is suddenly so eager to take a closer look at a random slug instead of hearing one of his exciting and totally-not-embellished stories, but he joins the small commotion forming around the snail nonetheless. And then he suddenly sees why. The snail not only has an eye-catching light blue shell with a gaudy flamingo pattern on it, it’s also dressed up in tiny sunglasses and a baseball cap between its antennas. Ace looks down at his own pastel blue flamingo sweater and fidgets self-consciously with his shades, wondering whether he should bring up the uncanny likeness— “Is it just me, or does the snail look Ace?” Laurie asks, glancing between Ace and the bug with furrowed eyebrows. “No, I… definitely see a resemblance,” Dwight says. “What should we name it?” Claudette asks. “I mean it's a snail that looks like Ace, so… Snace?” Nea suggests. “Snace it is!” Meg decides, snickering at Ace’s misfortune. “I'm glad you're having fun,” Ace snorts, glaring at the snail for stealing his spotlight. The girls hurry to make a home for the snail in the medkit, which Ace finds all kinds of ridiculous. They give it some bandages and twigs to hide and "play" in, whatever the fuck that means for a snail, and Claud gives it edible flowers to nibble on.

Ace tries his best to ignore the snail, but when he gets back from a trial and sees some of the group passing it between their hands and taking turns to hold it, he can’t help watching them. It’s Dwight’s turn now, their leader cradling the snail in his hands and looking way too happy with the situation. “Do you want to try?” Dwight asks, noticing Ace's staring. “Uhh… sure," Ace says, not having the heart to ruin everyone’s good mood. He goes to grab the snail from Dwight's hand, lifting it by the obnoxiously colored shell— “Not like that, you absolute moron!” Jake snaps, slapping Ace's hand away. “You're going to hurt him. You need to slide him off, not lift upwards,” Jake explains, showing how to do it, plopping the snail down on Ace's hand. It's… slimy and kind of gross. The snail seems confused, feeling around with its antennas. And then, it slowly starts to slither forward. “It's kinda cute,” Ace realizes, watching the little snail face with its little shades. It's the coolest snail he's ever seen for sure, but he wouldn't expect anything less from his doppelgänger. “You go, little guy,” Ace encourages the snail, poking it gently on its shell in encouragement. The snail wobbles a bit, and then its tiny face turns to look at Ace, and— “Ew, it pooped on me!” Ace realizes and Dwight chokes on a laugh while Jake smirks smugly and removes Snace from his hand. Ace could just be imagining it, but the snail looks way too pleased with himself.

Other survivors join and, sooner or later, everyone except Ace seems to fall in love with Snace. “He's just like Ace,” their newest teammate, Kate, comments. “What's that supposed to mean, Sunshine?” Ace challenges playfully. “He's a little slimey but everyone still loves him!” Kate smiles brightly and Ace’s witty comeback dies on his tongue at the unexpected heartfelt remark.

And eventually, when their small group has expanded to over twenty people, there's Felix. And no matter how hard he tries, Ace can’t help sneaking glances at the serious German. He’s tall. Blond. Handsome. Rich. Smart. Did he say handsome? Oh, and Felix hates Snace. “This is our pet snail, Snace!” Steve introduces with an excited grin while giving Felix the tour of their modest campgrounds. “A… snail?” Felix frowns. “Yeah! Do you wanna hold him?” Steve asks, already reaching his hand into the medkit. “No!” Felix recoils away, before seeming to collect himself. “I'm, um… not a pet person.” Ace tries (and fails) not to take it personally that Felix finds Snace to be repulsive and will just scoff and roll his eyes whenever the others discuss him. What the hell is his problem, anyway?

And then, something never before seen happens; they get another snail. “Guys!” Cheryl runs into camp, looking out of breath and cradling something in her hands. “Look what I found!” Ace goes to look right along with the others, and in the girl’s hands is a pale snail with a dark blue shell and a pattern resembling a suit collar on its neck. It doesn't have fashionable accessories like Snace, but there’s a tiny briefcase next to it. “Oh my god! He's so cute!” Meg squeals, making the snail retract into its shell in fear. “Aww, he's shy!” Kate coos. “Are you guys thinking what I'm thinking?” Nea suddenly says with a grin, glancing between Felix and the snail. Several heads turn in the German's direction, taking in his dark blue suit and pale complexion. “…What?” Felix asks, just as standoffish as ever. “Snelix!” Nea exclaims proudly. When several others join in to cheer and chant Snelix’s name, Felix just sighs and pinches the bridge of his nose in a gesture that screams "end me".

Everyone is eager to introduce Snelix to Snace, gathering around the medkit, even forcing Felix to watch. “Look, Snace! A new friend!” Cheryl says, gently plopping Snelix down into the medkit. Snace immediately starts slithering toward him, while Snelix just seems confused, rooted in place. “Aww! He's excited!” Dwight smiles. Snace reaches out his snail whiskers in a greeting, and Snelix recoils, slinking a little into his shell. “Oh, he's nervous!” Kate coos. “Don't worry doll, Snace is nice.” As if sensing the woman's words, Snelix cautiously comes out of his shell, hesitantly reaching out an antenna. “There you go, bud!” Ace encourages his snailself. “Take it slow, don't scare him away.” He glances at Felix, standing at the edge of the group with his arms crossed. If only people had it as easy as snails— “Oh, god!” Nancy exclaims in disgust, making Ace look back at the snails. And seeing Snace groping Snelix with his antennas while backing him into a corner. “Hey!” Ace chastices. “What did I just say!?” “Someone save him!” Laurie urges, but it seems Snelix can take care of himself, turning around and slinking up the medkit’s wall. “Aww, he's running away,” Steve pouts. “Good,” Felix huffs quietly from behind the group, and Ace pretends not to hear him. He also pretends that the comment doesn't sting, after trying and failing to get through the German's cold exterior for weeks.

Quentin tries to give Snelix one of his medkits to give him a place to live, but Snelix refuses to go in until it's cleaned up. “What a little snob,” Quentin snorts. “Yeah, how weird is that,” Yui smirks and glances at Felix in a way that’s definitely not subtle. Felix just scoffs and crosses his arms but, thankfully, doesn’t take the bait.

“Guys, I think Snace is depressed,” Meg says one day, looking into the medkit with a frown. “He's not even eating!” Claudette adds worriedly. “Maybe he's dying of old age,” Feng snarks. “I heard that,” Ace shoots back without any real heat. The snail isn't the only one who is feeling under the weather, Felix ignoring him for the last few days taking a toll on his confidence. “What if he misses Snelix?” Cheryl frowns. “Maybe we should try to introduce them again!” Steve exclaims. “No way,” Yui says. “Just because they're both snails doesn't mean they have to be friends.” “Yeah, let's at least give Snelix some time to settle in first,” Jeff suggests.

“Oh shit! Help!” Nea shouts not long after their previous conversation. “What's wrong?” Jane asks worriedly, immediately going into mom-mode. “Snelix is gone!” Nea says, showing them the empty med-kit. Is only takes those three words for the entire camp to erupt into panic. “NOBODY STEP ANYWHERE!” Jane commands. Thus commences the search for Snelix, with everyone participating and even Felix looking surprisingly worried. They eventually find Snelix is Snace's medkit, where they're just sitting next to each other munching on some leaves. “Aww! He walked all the way to his friend!” Kate beams. “Look how cute they are together!” Cheryl smiles. Ace feels his face heating up upon seeing the snails' close proximity. It almost looks like they're sitting next to each other cuddling while sharing a meal. He can't believe Snelix would actually come around, not to mention go through all that trouble to be with Snace. Someone probably put him there, but nobody fesses up. “Are they k-kissing?” Dwight squeaks in surprise when the snails seem to interrupt their meal just long enough to move their tiny whiskers together. “They're snails,” Zarina deadpans. “Most likely just conversing,” Adam adds. “I'm so glad they're getting along now!” Claudette sighs in relief. “Bro… what if we kissed? And we're both snails?” Feng says, propping her elbows up on a tree stump to watch the snails together. “Best snails forever,” Meg grins, joining the gamer. Ace discreetly clears his throat and mentally kicks himself for being jealous of goddamn snails. Even if him and Felix are getting along better day for day, Ace doesn't have any illusions that he’ll ever get to kiss the handsome architect. Still, a man can dream.

The snails seem happy to share a living space together and the next day, Ace even catches Felix observing them curiously. “It's funny how well our snails get along now,” Ace says conversationally, coming up beside Felix. “I'm not that surprised,” Felix says, looking at the snails climbing over each other and seeming to play together. “Looks like he just needed a little push,” Felix says bashfully. And something in Ace's head clicks at the comment. “Were you the one who put him there?” Ace asks, and Felix immediately clears his throat self-consciously. “I just wanted to try it,” Felix explains. “Maybe it would go better, since everything wasn't so new and people weren't staring. And it worked out.” Are… are they still talking about the snails? Or their own, slowly blossoming friendship? “He's been alone for so long,” Felix continues, looking back to the snails now sharing a piece of cucumber. “He deserves to be happy.” Felix smiles an adorable little smile and Ace realizes in just how deep shit he is with his stupid crush on the man. “I've never seen Snace so happy,” Ace agrees. “Just look at his smug little face.” “I thought he always looked happy,” Felix remarks. Ace fights himself for a moment, debating on whether he should be honest or not, or if he's read the situation completely wrong. “Maybe he's never had a real friend before,” Ace says, and out of the corner of his eye he can see Felix glancing at him, but doesn't dare look away from the snails.

And then one day… “Woah—what's wrong with the snails?” Steve calls from the medkit, Claudette immediately rushing closer to check. And then the botanist gasps in shock and everyone else hurries there too. “What happened—oh. Oh,” Quentin says, face flushing red, and Ace peers over the teen's shoulder to… See the snails in the middle of snail sex. “They're fucking,” Nea states matter-of-factly. “Yes Nea we can see that,” Laurie hisses, face pink from embarrassment. “Wot the—they're both blokes, innit?!” David seems confused. “Snails are hermaphrodites,” Adam points out. “Gay snails!” Feng exclaims cheerfully. “It's not gay if they're—” Adam tries again. “If what, they don't make eye contact?” Feng snickers right back. “No, I mean if they have both male and female reproductive organs,” Adam explains, looking embarrassed now. Ace glances at Felix and sees him staring at the snails with his mouth pressed into a thin line. But… he's also blushing. “Gay snails! Gay snails!” Feng, disregarding Adam's explanation, starts chanting. Jane and Laurie eventually have to pull some of the more eager onlookers away by their ears to give the snails some privacy.

One day, Felix returns from a trial and walks to Bill’s spot a little outside camp to return a map he borrowed earlier. He never makes it that far, because he spots Ace out in the woods, looking much more focused than Felix has ever seen as he fiddles with something in his hands. Ace doesn’t even notice him approaching, and Felix takes the opportunity to freely stare at the man who’s been slowly but surely occupying more and more of his thoughts. Ace’s sunglasses are pushed up into his hair and his tongue is poking out in concentration, and it’s completely beyond Felix’s understanding how someone can manage to look both so handsome and utterly ridiculous. “What are you doing?” Felix asks, and Ace’s head instantly snaps up to look at him in surprise. “I’m, uh…” Ace falters for once in his life, lowering his hands to hide whatever he was up to, but Felix catches the glint of something metallic. “Is that a needle? Do you need stitches?” Felix asks, not failing to hide the concern in his voice. “No, I—” Ace starts, but then falters and sighs in defeat. “Promise not to tell anyone.” He doesn’t wait for Felix’s reply before reaching his hand forward, opening his palm to show Felix… A tiny pink baseball cap with a thread and needle attached. “For… Snace?” Felix asks, struggling to take in the information that, somehow, this flamboyant loudmouth is making clothes for his pet snail. “He deserves a proper wardrobe, okay?” Ace huffs jokingly but pulls the project closer to himself defensively. It’s surprisingly… endearing. “I didn’t know you sewed,” Felix says instead of voicing his embarrassing thoughts. “Yeah, well, it comes in handy,” Ace points out. “Can’t tell you how many times I had to patch up a shirt after I barely escaped the cop—uh, competition,” Ace catches himself, grinning sheepishly. Felix raises a curious eyebrow but doesn’t push the topic. Instead, an idea forms in his head that he can’t help expressing. “Could you make a scarf for Snelix?” Felix says, and almost instantly regrets asking after realizing how stupid that sounds. But it makes Ace perk up in interest, and soon a wide grin is spreading over the gambler’s face. “Sure, I can do that!” Ace beams. “Why a scarf, though?” Felix is already opening his mouth to say because he loves scarves, but thankfully is able to stop himself. “They’re stylish,” he says instead. “Well well well, if I didn’t know better I’d say you were starting to like the little slimy bastards,” Ace grins. “They might be growing on me,” Felix admits with just the barest hint of a smirk. Hopefully Ace realizes he doesn’t mean just the snails.

One evening, Ace is sitting by himself, looking at Snace and Snelix living their best life. They eat a little bit of some of the flowers Claudette gave them earlier, before Snelix turns around to leave and Snace immediately follows him. They slither away to a secluded corner, laying next to each other and doing their little snail kisses, until Snelix eventually slumps and flattens to the ground, seeming to fall asleep. Snace sits next to him for a while, before he carefully moves away, slinking back to nom on the flowers. “Putting your boyfriend to sleep, huh?” Ace murmurs quietly, not wanting to wake Snelix. “I'm jealous of your life, buddy.” Snace lifts his head from the flower, his little shades looking Ace's way. “At least one of us got what he wanted. You did good for yourself, high five,” Ace whispers, holding up his finger in front of Snace for shits and giggles. And Snace, the snail that absolutely hates him, lifts one of his antennas and briefly touches his finger in a high five before going back to his meal. “Woah,” Ace breathes, a grin spreading over his face and glancing around camp, wanting to see if anyone was around to witness the event— And his eyes meet Felix's, standing behind him, staring at Ace talking to his snail like an absolute idiot. And probably having heard everything. “It, uh,” Ace starts when Felix isn't saying anything, the German's eyes wide from surprise. “He high-fived me.” “I, er…” Felix stutters in return, before clearing his throat. “I got some moss for them from Red Forest.” “Oh, neat,” Ace comments. “Snelix just fell asleep, but maybe you won’t wake him if you’re careful.” “No, I don't want to disturb them,” Felix says, crouching down next to Ace and placing the moss next to the medkit. They watch the snails in silence, Snace finishing his midnight snack, Ace debating on whether he should bring up the previous conversation or not. “Thank you,” Felix says instead, before Ace can strike up a conversation. “…For what?” “For being patient with me,” Felix murmurs. “I know I can come across as… cold.” Well that's an understatement if Ace has ever heard one. “Hmm, I guess you could say you needed some time to…” Ace says, pausing for comedic effect while he waits for Felix to turn to look at him for the punchline. “Come out of your shell.” Felix huffs a surprised laugh and turns his head away, but not before Ace sees a beautiful smile spreading over his normally serious face. They keep observing the snails, until Snace has finally had enough of the flowers, moving to lay next to Snelix. “Oh, he's awake,” Ace comments, seeing Snelix groggily lift his head toward Snace. He pushes up Snace's shades, dislodging the cap a bit before doing another little snail kiss. “Damn, that's adorable,” Ace grins. And then there's a hand on his temple, and Ace freezes as his shades are gently pushed up into his hair. He turns to look at Felix, heat rising up his neck, feeling vulnerable without the glasses, not able to hide his wide eyes searching Felix's own in a silent question. Felix's face is redder than usual but he looks more unguarded that Ace has ever seen, gaze dropping to Ace's lips while the hand on his forehead moves to cup his jaw. Ace holds his breath, not daring to say anything lest he ruin the mood and permanently mess up his chance with Felix. His thoughts are little more than white noise and excited screeching as he tilts his head up in silent invitation, and that's all it takes for Felix to lean down and claim his lips.

“Snace is getting fat,” Feng comments one day. “What!?” Ace exclaims, offended. “No he’s not!” “Hon, he does look a little… pudgier,” Kate comments. “He’s just… bloated, okay?” Ace insists, huffing defensively. “He’s a fucking fatass,” Feng corrects. “Yeah man, he’s really letting himself go,” Steve agrees with an infuriating smirk. “Okay, rude!” Ace scoffs. “Felix—” he starts, turning to his newly acquired boyfriend for solidarity, but sees the little shit is shaking from quiet laughter instead of being upset on his behalf. “Babe! Don’t tell me you agree with them!” Ace gasps in mock offense, hand over his heart. “Every time I’ve looked at him, he’s eating,” Felix manages to point out between snickers. “Absolutely terrible, the lot of you,” Ace huffs, peering into the medkit where the completely innocent Snace is… Munching on some berries Claudette placed there earlier. “You were saying?” Feng snarks, making Ace shoot a glare her way while Felix is still holding back chuckles.

When Ace gets back from a rather uneventful trial some time later, he notices Jake staring intently into the snails’ medkit. As he walks closer, it becomes apparent that the snails are having sex. “Jake, what the hell are you doing?” Ace asks the survivalist. “They've been at it for hours,” Jake says, face just as neutral as ever and not taking his eyes off the writhing clump of snail. “I'm a little concerned by how much you like watching my snail get laid.” “Nature is lit,” Jake merely offers. So Ace shuts the medkit, feeling weirdly exposed by having his snail’s private life invaded like that. “Give them some privacy, sheesh,” he chastises Jake. “Prude,” the boy snorts.

It’s only a few days before there is another episode of, as Felix likes to call it, snail drama. “Felix!” Ace shouts, making Felix sigh in fond irritation and pause his sorting of their shared stash of items that Ace has left an absolute mess (again). “Yes, love?” he asks, doing his best impression of an exasperated husband despite them only dating for what can't be more than a few weeks. And then he sees Ace's face full of both alarm and excitement, and immediately drops what he was doing. “What's wrong?” he asks, feeling the panic quickly bubbling up. “SNACE IS GIVING BIRTH!” Ace exclaims ten decibels louder than necessary, grabbing a confused Felix by his sleeve and dragging him toward the snails' home. Sure enough, there's a small commotion around the medkit, and when Felix peers into it he can see Snace in the middle of laying eggs, Snelix by his side in solidarity. “Come on dude! Push!” Feng is trying to encourage the snail. “Shh, you're stressing it!” Claudette chastises. “I told you guys he wasn’t fat!” Ace huffs proudly. After ten or so eggs, the process seems to be over, and Snace happily slithers away to go snack on some leaves. “Oh,” Claudette says, bewildered. “What?” Ace says. “I, um,” the botanist falters. “They usually lay about a hundred eggs…” “A hundred?” Ace screeches. “Don't you think ten kids is more than enough?” “Only a small portion of them actually hatch!” Claudette hurries to add. “Maybe he's going through menopause,” Jake, not so helpfully, supplies. “I'm going to smack you,” Ace threatens. Felix just chuckles and lays a hand on Ace’s shoulder to settle him.

Excited about the possibility of baby snails, the survivors take turns watching the eggs for the next few weeks. Eventually, it’s Cheryl who screams: “Guys! An egg is hatching!” Felix rushes to the medkit before anyone else, and in an instant Ace is peering over his shoulder too, both looking at the transparent, tiny antenna pushing out of one of the eggs. Snelix and Snace are right by the eggs, eagerly waiting to meet their offspring. And then the small snail plops completely out and starts wiggling around, and Ace honest to god squeals. “Look, Felix!” he says, tugging on Felix's sleeve. “We're grandparents!” “I'm… not sure that's how it works,” Felix points out, even as he smiles at Snelix petting his child with his antenna. “I'm gonna make so much baby snail clothes for her,” Ace continues with a wide grin, nearly shaking in his shoes in excitement. “'Her'?” Felix asks, and Ace falters. “I'm, uh…” Ace explains, looking away. “You said your kid's a girl, I mean based on the ultrasound before you were taken, so I figured…” Something in Felix's expression softens, touched that Ace would remember something like that. He steals a quick kiss while everyone is preoccupied with staring at the family of snails.

“What should we name their kid?” Jeff ponders a couple weeks later, watching the baby snail climb all over Snace while Snelix anxiously hovers nearby. “Ask the grandpas,” Feng snarks. “Yeah, have you decided on a name yet?” Cheryl asks, looking up at Felix with wide, shimmering eyes. “Err,” Felix says, glancing at Ace for help. Ace grins and discreetly nods toward the eager Cheryl. “Oh,” Felix seems to realize. “Yes, we were considering Ch—ehm, Sneryl.” Cheryl gasps in awe. “She does look like a Sneryl,” Jeff agrees. “What? It doesn't look like any—” Feng starts, but at Jeff's pointed look, thankfully shuts up. “She's the spitting image of a Sneryl!” Ace says, smiling in encouragement. “Really!?” Cheryl asks excitedly, looking between Felix and Ace. “Ah… of course,” Felix says, and then the breath leaves his lungs in a pained “Oof!” as Cheryl rushes in for a hug. “Thank you! I love having my own snail!” Cheryl beams while Felix awkwardly pats her on the head and looks at Ace with an expression that screams 'HELP'.

Seeing Sneryl grow over the following couple of months, Felix takes it upon himself to start building the snails a house out of a commodious toolbox. He might put in way more effort than necessary, making sure to separate different rooms with interior walls and adding corridors to entertain the snails. “Hey handsome, what're you doing?” Ace asks, placing a kiss against his temple as he comes up behind him to see what he’s working on. “I'm building our snails a house," Felix explains. "They have a family now, a cramped old medkit won't do.” Ace stares at him for a moment, and then a wide grin spreads over his face and he suddenly looks like he’s about to combust. “You’re so friggin adorable!” Ace exclaims and pulls him into a hug. And then he refuses to let go, clinging to Felix’s back like a koala while he keeps working on the house, and Felix would be lying if he said he didn’t like it. “…Can you make a poker room for Snace?” Ace asks after having observed his work for a while. “Poker? But they're—” Felix frowns, turning around just enough to see Ace's exaggerated, ridiculous pout. “…Fine. But you're making the furniture.” “You got it, babe!” Ace grins, before seeming to notice something. “Hey, what's that?" he asks, pointing at a drawn square on the side of the toolbox. “Oh. It's going to be a door,” Felix explains. “But what if Sneryl goes out and gets stomped on?” Ace asks worriedly. “I just…” Felix falters. “Thought that maybe they needed some freedom. Especially Snace.” “Huh?” Ace tilts his head in confusion. “He was alone for so long, I… assumed he'd probably get bored of the family life,” Felix says, looking at the ground in thought. He’s embarrassed for bringing up the subject of Ace’s loyalty like this, but once again, the snails are proving a wonderful excuse to talk about topics they otherwise wouldn’t. “That sounds like a load of bullcrap,” Ace grins, making Felix look up at him, still frowning. “I've never seen Snace so happy. He knew what he signed up for and there's no way in hell he's leaving now.” The reassurance feels like a weight lifting off of Felix’s chest, and he can’t stop the smile spreading over his lips. Hesitantly, he grabs Ace’s hand still wrapped around him, and Ace brings them both up to brush his lips over Felix's callused knuckles. “I'm not going anywhere, sweetheart,” Ace murmurs, the sweet sentiment making warm affection spread through Felix’s entire body. “I, uhm,” Felix blushes, clearing his throat. “Is this a good time to point out I just had the snails crawl over the back of my hand…?” Ace sputters and immediately wipes at his mouth while Felix lets out a few quiet chuckles.

Following the conversation, Felix can’t help but read into Ace’s answer. Especially with the other survivors engaging in another round of the popular “What’s the first thing you’ll do when we escape?” game, Felix finds it difficult to focus on anything other than the possibility of a shared future. So, when he catches Ace alone, he hesitantly brings up the option of the man coming with him to Germany. “I know the possibility of escaping is slim,” Felix babbles nervously after Ace isn’t saying anything, just staring at him curiously. “But I can’t stop thinking about it, and I wanted to see where you are—” “Babe,” Ace interrupts, grabbing his arm to ground Felix from his scrambled thoughts, giving him an encouraging smile. “I’d love to.” Felix breathes out a relieved sigh, returning a shaky but happy smile over not getting rejected. And then Ace smirks mischievously and Felix’s instincts scream “Uh-oh”. “On one condition,” Ace adds, holding a finger in front of Felix’s face playfully. “Um… which?” Felix asks, nerves resurfacing. There’s not much that would make him say no, and he hopes he doesn’t have to, willing to make sacrifices for a potential future together. “The snails come with us,” Ace quips sheepishly instead. Felix chuckles and shakes his head in amusement, before pulling Ace in for a soft kiss. “I wouldn't have it any other way,” Felix murmurs against Ace’s lips, silently thanking the two dorky snails that allowed this to happen in the first place.

[ziracona]

T-The gang playing Among Us? Oh!? That's chaos I'd love to know more of!

They had a lot of legendary matches, but the three best were with Dwight and Jake as imposters, Quentin and Jane as imposters, and Jake and David as imposters.

So, Quentin and Jane get imposter pretty early. Jane is competitive, and does a great job. Pulls off some legendary kills with lights off in the middle of a group. Quentin and she tag team well, and provide alibis a few times without being suspicious. Gets down to him and Jane still alive, four crewmembers left. Crewmembers have lost three and ejected one, and know they’re in deep. One more kill will probably lose them the game. Claudette, Nea, Adam, and Jeff are still up. Meg ejected, David, Susie, and Min killed. Claudette is off with Quentin for repairs. Jane kills Nea across the ship. Nobody has found the body/reported, but he knows that she went with Nea and wants to get one and have him kill another, and Jane works fast so he knows it’s probably already happened, and as soon as he kills her He kills it’s game. But when they’re pairing off in chat no one wants to go with Claudette bc she found two of the bodies and has been alone a lot, so he volunteered too be nice,’ but jokingly was like “You’re not gonna kill me though, right?” And she was like “No! Of course. I’m not an imposter, and even if I was, you offered to come with me even though it was risky so I wouldn’t be a sitting duck alone. I’d never kill you. : )” and the guilt is so real. She’s just happily bouncing alongside walking to a dark corner to repair a sabotage, totally security, total faith in him. Philip has been banned from Among Us because when they played Mafia he sold out his team because he didn’t want to kill Claudette and Quentin knows the stakes but he can’t take it. Is super ready and in position to off her, but. :’-] She’s so trusting. She was like “if one of the others pops up and comes at us, you run away and I’ll slow them down, so you have time to report and call in who it was and can save the others. You died last round and I didn’t so you should get to make it this time if one of us can’t!” And Jeff walked past a doorway while they were walking and she ran out in front of him just in case and he can’t do it. Gets her to come with him and runs off and bc she trusts him she follows. They book all the way to Nea’s body, which Quentin knew would be there, and Quentin reports, goes “I’m an imposter and Jane’s the other one I can’t do it just kill us” and throws the match. Jane is furious, then decides it’s actually hilarious and doesn’t mind. Quentin has to go sit the next six matches out in the shame corner with Philip, though, but Claudette is happy. Until she gets super tunneled for like six matches back to back.

Jake and David get imposter while Quentin is still in the banned corner. They have an agressive strategy that causes so much constant pandemonium it’s really hard to think. It’s going great—Susie, Nea, and Dwight dead. Forced all votes to a pass becuase no one knew shit, except one time, which bumped off an incredulous Adam. Kate, Laurie, Min, and Meg still up. They see Kate and Laurie off near each other, go to kill both. Laurie dies, and Kate sees Jake coming, connects two dots, and books. Runs for where Laurie was last. David is on cooldown and can’t touch her. Makes it to Laurie’s body right before Jake is in range, fkn by the skin of her teeth, reports body, screams to the chat it was David and Jake. David and Jake are like “she’s flipping out becuase we saw her kill Laurie” and Kate is like “Listen to me. We’re down to three. One more dies, it’s all over. If we vote off Jake, and one of us can hit the emergency meeting button right after, we win. We’re at the table, it hasn’t been used. If not we dont do this, and pass a vote, or vote the wrong person, or anything, we die. Min you know it’s not me. I don’t have an alibi but you were railing on me for being a predictable imposter when we were a team, becuase I killed the people who trusted me last. You know I’d never kill Laurie before Jake.” And Min’s like “Damn she makes a good point 🤔” & Meg is like “Mmm and if Jake and David were together when she made the call, then if Kate is an imposter, it can’t be either of them. Becuase they’d have just killed the other and won if it was Kate and one of them. So that would mean it’s me or Min and her, and it’s not me, and it’s not Min. Because Nea died right after Susie, and Min would have either killed Nea first or last for the drama and maybe not at all, and I am not killing my girl like that. So it’s not us. So it can’t be Kate. So it’s Jake and David.” And they vote off Jake and it’s a “who can slam a button first” contest the second the meeting ends, but Min gets lucky and is immediately able to call a meeting before David can even kill another and they get David too, and win.

The Dwight and Jake match was second to last one, and they’d both had failed turns as imposters before, and some quite frustrating, and during a snack break together were like “Ok if it’s ever us, here’s the plan.” Keep not getting picked together though. Claudette is frustrated to tears because after Quentin gave up for her, people keep killing her, and last match she got voted off when she knew who the killer was, and she is sad because no one listened /and/ they killed her. Gets imposter and tries really hard, but gets unlucky and kills like right when someone is checking cameras and it’s legit just bad luck, but gets teased and is not happy about it. Jake and Dwight are like, ‘Hey. So you’re annoyed too right? What do you say to being in on our plan. We could pull off the /ultimate/ scam. If we ever get picked.’ And she’s like “I don’t know I don’t want to play sneaky...” but then she gets killed first by Nea, again, like, 13 seconds in, and is like >:-[ “ok yes I want to scam.” So they hash out a plan. And then? Second to last round? They finally get imposter and the boys are like 😏.

So. Dwight and Jake do the totally normal seeming little pre-determined movement that is code to Claudette it’s them and it’s game time. Dwight and Claudette go to the same area, Dwight kills her, Jake sees him, immediately reports. Avenges Claudette and outs him, Dwight is ejected as imposter. Acts betrayed by Jake for not covering and Jake is like “I’m a boyfriend, but I draw the line at murder” and they hold character really wells Survivors feeling great. Round one seems to be a big win. It ain’t. It’s a trap. From here on, Dwight causes basically /all/ sabotages, step by step doing it where some teammate went solo as a ghost imposter, or near where Jake sneaks off to kill someone, but is careful to make sure he gets clear. They get doors shut, lights out, it’s executed to perfection. Whoever dies is usually a person who walked off with someone else, or Jake has an alibi, and he’s never near the issues. Always with someone except the very first time there’s a sabotage. Also, he’s out there doing Crewmate tasks, which have /always/ been done like he says, which he shouldn’t be able to do as an imposter, but people see him. So? And he kills Nea, Laurie finds and reports, Meg is voted off. One imposter left, five Crewmates: Laurie, Quentin (finally allowed back in), Jeff, Kate, and Min. Kate is killed, Quentin finds and reports. They pass on a vote becuase numbers are dwindling and they just don’t know, but Laurie hella suspects Jake. Says “I think you voted off Dwight to make yourself look innocent.” Jake is like “I swear to god, I can prove it. I have been doing my tasks—Jeff, you were with me! You saw!” And Jeff is like “I wasn’t paying a bunch of attention but I think he’s telling the truth. I’m pretty sure I saw him using the canons—like 90%.” So they pass on a vote. At Laurie’s insistence, though, they go in a group and Jake is like “watch. Could an imposter do /this/?” And does a Crewmate task. Bodyscans himself for all the world to see. Only, he doesn’t. Claudette’s ghost does, like she has been. But uh. Since none of them can /see/ it. 😏 And Laurie is like “Well shoot. I thought I was onto something.” Min finds that sus, and when Jeff turns up dead a little bit later, convinces the others to vote off Laurie. Leaving her, Quentin, and Jake. And Jake immediately kills her, leaving Quentin up per Claudette’s request, and snags a win that makes everyone lose their mind until it is explained how they did it. The trio could not be more smug. Claudette feels a little bad because they kiiinda cheated? Technically broke no rules, but, it was a dick move. But Min is like “Nah if I died first for six rounds in a row and then the one time I saw a murder my team voted me off, and proceeded to have the gall to ignore my good intel and lose, I too would have totally done that” and she feels better. Jake has 0 regrets and neither does Dwight period. Last round is just a normal chill one, and less memorable, but that second to last lives on in infamy. Also makes people super suspicious forever about what they can trust as proof of crewmate. Jake loves the legacy. 😏 Dream-team trio really did that.

[kadmeread]

Not Over Yet - Chapter 2: Explanations

Chapter 2: Explanations 

I was shaken out of my reverie by a knock on the door. After opening it, I saw the girl who had brought me here standing there. 

“Hello,” she said, holding out her hand. “I’m Samirah, you can call me Sam, it’s nice to officially meet you.”

Taking her hand I said “Hi, I’m Jason Grace. I take it your my Valkyrie.” She looked surprised at my guess so I presumed I was correct and that she was indeed my Valkyrie, whatever that was.

“How much do you know?” she asked.

“Not much,” I admitted. “Magnus gave me a rundown on my hallmates and told me the basics. I must admit I didn’t expect to end up here.” She glanced down at my tattoo, reminding me of Magnus’ reaction to it earlier. I moved my hand to cover it subconsciously.

“You deserve to be here Jason, I am proud to be your Valkyrie.” She told me as we continued on towards what I guessed was the dining hall. I nodded uncomfortably, wondering how much she knew.

As we walked Sam told me various other facts about Valhalla. I made sure to try and memorise them as I had found it better to always be prepared. I never knew how Percy could stand it, not knowing anything until someone told him about it. I would say it was a Roman thing except Annabeth is the same way, and she’s about as un-Roman as you can get. 

Sam was looking impressed by my comments. “You’re taking this well,” she said. 

“Yeah, well, with the way my life has been going recently, the fact that the Norse gods exist and I’m in Valhalla isn’t actually all that surprising.”

She looked like she was about to question me on that, when we reached the dining hall and I wouldn’t have heard her anyway.

The dining hall was impressive, it reminded me of Olympus. Except it didn’t have Annabeth’s architectural flare. “Wow,” I murmured.

“Yeah,” she agreed. “It doesn’t ever really get old. There’s our table over there.” She pointed to a table with two other people already sitting there. “Good thing we’re not the only ones.” She muttered as we sat down. I wanted to ask about that but she obviously didn’t intend for me to hear it, so I decided not to pry.

“So…” I started awkwardly, “Magnus mentioned something earlier about me getting the hall to myself soon? Are they all going away somewhere or something?”

Her expression darkened, “Or something,” She repeated. “You see we have to stop my father from launching Naflgar and starting Ragnorak.”

I had a million questions going through my head after that, but I decided to start with a simple one. “Your father?”

She nodded, “My father. Loki.”

Before I could work out what to ask next, the doors opened with a boom and hundreds of warriors streamed in. I was very grateful that we had entered earlier and avoided the rush. I saw Magnus wave at me as he came in with whom I presumed to be the rest of our hallmates.

A girl came around and gave me some meat and what I guessed to be mead from the smell. Sam saw me looking around and got my attention. 

“Eat now,” She recommended. “After we get to watch you die gloriously.”

The idea of reliving my death slowed my appetite a bit, I don’t think anyone would be all too keen on that idea. Yet I did still look forward to it, if I was lucky I would find out what happened to my friends, find out if they survived.

As the meal ended my anticipation and anxiety only grew, warring for the place of pride in my stomach. First we watched the other guy die heroically, gun in hand, saving two strangers, and heard he was destined to fight well during Ragnarok. Then it was my turn. It felt odd seeing it happen again. I watched as Apollo stabbed himself and I blew Meg out the side. The others in the hall were silent, they hadn’t been for the other guy, so I distantly felt that was odd, but didn’t pay much attention to it, I was too busy watching what was happening. I saw myself take arrow wounds, I hadn’t even noticed that I got shot. I winced as I turned to Apollo, I knew what was coming, I reminded him of his promise and then I saw Caligula stab me in the back. I heard Piper’s scream of grief, and knew that even if we weren’t together she still loved me. We were a team, her and I. The last thing I saw before the video faded away, was Tempest running across the water, my friends on his back. I smiled, relieved to know that my death hadn’t been in vain, and that they had all gotten out of there safely.

There was silence for a moment before the hall exploded into whispers. If I tried to listen, I could hear them saying things like “Thor”, and “powers”. I figured they probably thought me to be a son of Thor. Suddenly they all stopped talking. On a throne that had been empty before except for two large ravens (which had been watching me throughout, they gave me the creeps) appeared a huge figure of a man. What I first noticed about him was that he only had one eye. Then I noticed that the murmurs had started up again, this time with “Odin” and “Allfather” interspersed with the ones about me.

“It is good to see you again my friends.” He boomed, looking around at us all. “But unfortunately I come to you in dire times. Sitting before you is a warrior, who we will have need of before long. I sent Samirah to get him, before he left to places not under my jurisdiction, for a reason. I hope you will forgive me.” He looked directly at me as he said this. “That reason being, the Pontifex Maximus may save us all. And so I humbly ask, you Jason Grace, if you will help us on this quest, or will you depart to be judged worthy of Elysium, as my counterpart has informed me you would’ve been placed. Without your help, I have foreseen that Ragnarok will come. And so, son of Jupiter, will you help us stop Ragnarok?”

The hall was silent except for the whispers of the warriors, that was becoming a common reaction for anything to do with me. I sighed, considering. I had just died helping out with a save the world quest, I would have liked to have a break. But I knew what my answer would be, what any demigod’s answer would be. “Yes,” I said. “I will help.” As cheers rang around the hall, I had an inkling that I had agreed to something bigger than what I had originally thought.

The next time I looked up I notice Magnus leading who I guessed were to be my new questmates over. As he introduced us, he eyed me oddly when I didn’t appear to be paying attention, I wanted to ask but I knew then wasn’t the time. I asked a different question instead. “So when do we set off?”

“We’re setting sail in the morning, unless something else goes wrong.” The guy who I now knew was T.J replied, looking accusingly at Magnus.

“Hey!” Magnus protested, “I actually got some good advice from Percy today!”

“Yeah,” Alex chimed in smugly. “He didn’t die today.”

While Magnus continued complaining about their lack of belief in him, I suddenly felt dizzy. Percy...Percy and Annabeth had been in Boston this weekend, helping her cousin, I think, prepare for some sort of cruise. I hadn’t gotten the full details because of the communication block and the Apollo situation, but Apollo had told us that, along with the information about Percy’s baby sister. Magnus must be Annabeth’s cousin, that was why he looked vaguely familiar. That would also explain the odd looks he was giving me, he knew. It sounded like Alex probably knew too.

Having realized this, I wasn’t surprised when Magnus and Alex dawdled after everyone had gone back to their rooms. 

“Come on in.” I told them, leading them into my rooms. They followed me in awkwardly. I could tell they had no idea how to broach the subject at hand. 

“So...do Percy and Annabeth know yet?” I asked. They obviously hadn’t worked out that I had worked out that they knew. 

“I don’t think so,” Magnus replied. “They’ve been down here for the weekend, meaning they’ve been even more out of touch with the situation then in New York. They’ll probably find out when they get back. In fact I should probably…” 

He trailed off as Alex interrupted him impatiently, “So where are you in this mess?”

“Me? I’m Roman, son of Jupiter. I was on the quest to Greece with Percy and Annabeth.”

Magnus nodded, “Annabeth mentioned you. You were the one swapped with Percy, right?”

“Yup that was me. So...who exactly knows what?”

Magnus thought it over quickly before replying, “So Alex and I are the only ones who have actually met Percy and Annabeth. Although Sam knows of them and the existence of your pantheons. The others had no idea you even existed, and quite possibly still don’t.”

I thought it over, “I’ll tell the rest of our quest group once we’ve set off, is there anyone else other than our hallmates?”

Magnus looked startled, “Oh, right. My friends Blitz and Hearth, along with Sam as you know. Blitz is a dwarf, very fashionable. Hearth is an elf, he does magic, and he’s deaf.”

I nodded and relaxed from where I had been standing stiffly near the door. “Thanks for letting me know.”

They nodded and then left me to it. I decided to try and get some sleep, who knew when I was going to get some.

Unfortunately, even though I was dead, my demigod dreams didn’t appear to have stopped. While not as bad as Percy’s, (from what I heard he had the worst dreams) they were still fully capable of ruining any sleep I tried to have. First I saw flashes of what must’ve been happening in California, I saw Piper grieving. Apollo speaking prophecies in chains, Piper killing Medea, Leo flying in one Festus, and then hugging Piper as she cried. Meg and Apollo boarding a plane, a coffin sitting in the plane, which I knew with a chill of certainty held my dead body. 

Then the scenes slowed down and changed again, I was on what I guessed to be a Viking ship, made of what looked to be people’s finger and toenails. The ship was surrounded by ice, I saw mummified human bodies and giants which thankfully looked very different from those I had fought before.

“Oh look,” said a cheerful voice behind me, I jumped, turning to see who was speaking. “It’s Odin’s secret weapon. Not so secret now, are you boy?” 

The guy’s face was horrific, burned and scarred. As I studied him, he continued, his face softening. “Here’s a warning for you little demigod. Don’t get in my way, you may have defeated giants. But I can promise you this, I am like nothing you have ever faced before. You will not be able to escape me. Run, little son of Jupiter, and you may just survive the storm to come. This isn’t your Pantheon, little Pontifex Maximus, and if you continue on this path of interference,” 

His face darkened, and it struck me that he was quite mad. That didn’t reassure me, I was killed by a madman after all. “I can promise you this, you will never see your friends again.” I could sense someone shaking me, as the dream receded I could hear the guy laughing. “Welcome to the end, little boy, your father may be king, but I was born to destroy kings.” As the dream faded away, he met my horrified gaze, “Enjoy your afterlife.” His laughter followed me as I woke up.

A.N So that was the next chapter! I should probably explain the timeline to you guys. So I have The Hidden Oracle happening at the same time as the Sword of Summer, leading Hammer of Thor to be about the same time as The Dark Prophecy. I have placed Jason’s death in The Burning Maze, at about the same time as Percy and Annabeth leaving Boston in the Ship of the Dead, thus they haven’t heard yet of Jason’s death and that Nico can’t find him in the Underworld. Once they do, Annabeth will obviously try and contact Magnus, but due to him being on a quest, she won’t be able to until after they get back. I hope that makes sense. 

Please let me know any ideas, errors etc. 

Thanks Kadme.

[flightfoot]

Memories of Godly Selfishness Ch. 2

Here’s the second chapter of “Memories of Godly Selfishness”. Here’s the first chapter, if you missed it.

This was inspired by an idea I had several months ago. At the time I wrote it in the form of an analysis, The fight with Otis and Ephialtes in MoA takes on a whole new meaning in the context of ToA. But now that I can actually write pretty well, I wanted to take a crack at the idea in fanfiction form. Enjoy!

When the world solidified, we were surrounded by a chaotic scene. Fireworks of some sort were going off over our heads, though I was more concerned by the Giant in front of us... until the roof above him fell and crushed him.

I looked around wildly, trying to figure out where and when this was. I saw Piper sitting down, badly injured next to a barely conscious Nico. I instinctively started towards them, then froze. Someone else was already on his way. A young man with blond hair rushed towards them.

Jason.

My mind stopped working, unable to comprehend what I was seeing. I started forwards as if in a trance, but only got a few feet before Meg grabbed my arm. I looked back at her, not understanding. Jason was here! Why didn’t she want me to go to him? She looked back at me with uncharacteristic gentleness, stating quietly, “Apollo, this is the past. You can’t interact with Jason. This already happened. He’s gone now.” Her grip loosened, allowing me to continue to Jason if I wished. I didn’t move. Meg was right. I could only observe.

Get it together Apollo, I scolded myself. You don’t know what this memory will show, so you need to brace yourself.

I looked around some more, trying to determine when and whose memory this was. If there were Giants around, then it would likely be taking placing during the war with Gaea last year. Meg wasn’t involved with that, so it couldn’t be her memory, and I only remembered facing Giants at the very end of the War at the Parthenon, and we certainly weren’t at that point in time, which meant...

I glanced back at the third member of our party. Percy looked tense, ready to pull out his sword and start slashing at a moments notice. I glanced around, and sure enough, there was another version of Percy present in the past here, standing in front of a weird machine, looking out at everything that was going on... which was a lot. One of the Giants - Ephialtes I believed, from what I could dredge up from the depths of my memory - was already reforming, dragging himself out of the pile of his own dust, his head, arms, and shoulders already reformed.

On the other side of the room, the rubble from the roof exploded, showering debris everywhere. I ducked instinctively as a piece of it the size of a basketball rocketed towards me, only for it to pass right through me.

Ah. Yes. I couldn’t be hurt here, not by the past anyway. It could only inflict emotional pain, not physical damage.

“Percy! The controls!” Jason yelled. Past!Percy unfroze, pulling out his sword and slashing at the control panel with it.

“No!” Ephialtes wailed. “You’ve ruined the spectacle!”

Percy started turning around to face him, but it wasn’t fast enough. Ephialtes swung his spear at him.

I lost control of my legs, crumbling to the floor. Distantly I heard screaming emanating from somewhere. It took a moment to realize it was from me.

“APOLLO!” Meg yelled at me. It felt like I was hearing her through a fog. “APOLLO!” she screamed again, kneeling in front of me, blocking my view. Slowly, I focused in on her face, the terror and worry in her expression, the tears in her eyes... all directed at me.

Slowly, I came to my senses. This was the past. Percy was alive and next to me in the present. I looked back wildly to make sure of that fact. Percy was still standing perfectly still, staring at the scene in front of him, looking like he wanted to rip someone’s throat out. I shivered at his expression, but at least he was alive.

Meg cupped my face in her hands, an unusual show of support from her. “No one died here. You KNOW that. You saw them later. They survived this.”

Shakily I drew breath, and attempted to get to my feet. Meg helped me up, supporting me until I could stand up straight on my own. I wobbled a little, but didn’t fall.

I could do this. I had to. I had to know why Percy, Meg, and I were drawn into this flashback. The last flashback sequence I’d been in had been highly painful for both Meg and I, but we’d learned a lot - especially me. Seeing how I used to act and how people reacted to me had solidified my determination to never be like that again. And Meg had learned that people she cared about may have been assholes in the past, but still genuinely cared for her and wanted to rectify their mistakes. I wish she hadn’t had to learn that way, though.

I only hoped that this flashback wouldn’t be as harrowing for Meg as the last one had been. Let all the pain fall on me. I deserved it. She didn’t.

I gathered myself and looked around. past!Percy and Jason were side-by-side, looking tired, but still determined to save themselves and their friends. Piper and Nico were over by the dais on the floor, barely able to move.

Ephialtes smiled at past!Percy and Jason. I shuddered. “Tired, Percy Jackson? As I said, you cannot kill us. So I guess we’re at an impasse. Oh, wait... no we’re not! Because we can kill you!”

That’s right. Giants could only be killed by a demigod and a god working together. And they’d all survived this fight. Which meant that a god must’ve helped out somehow. But who, and how?

I looked around, as if merely willing for a divine being would make it happen. Alas, I saw no sign of a god.

His brother Otis picked up his spear. My eyes locked onto it as he spoke, “That is the first sensible thing you’ve said all day, brother.”

The giants pointed their weapons at past!Percy and Jason. Jason growled, “We won’t give up. We’ll cut you into pieces like Jupiter did to Saturn.”

past!Percy joined in on the attempt at intimidation. I was pretty sure they were trying to convince themselves more than anyone else, “That’s right. You’re both dead. I don’t care if we have a god on our side or not.”

“Well that’s a shame,” a voice cut in. I perked up. I KNEW that voice!

A platform lowered from the ceiling, revealing a man with a pinecone-tipped staff.

BACCHUS!

I smiled, hope blooming in my chest. They had a god on their side now! They’d fight together and defeat Otis and Ephialtes, at least long enough for everyone to get away safely.

I glanced at Percy, expecting to see him smile now that help had arrived. Instead he narrowed his eyes to slits, breathing heavily, his face contorted into an expression of hatred and disgust.

My heart sank. What had happened? Bacchus had helped... right? He must have. They wouldn’t have survived otherwise. So why did he look like he wanted to turn the wine god inside-out?

I very hesitantly called to Percy. I didn’t want that expression, that anger turned on me, but I needed to know.

“Percy, what happened here? Why do you look like you want to rip Bacchus apart with your bare hands?” I asked carefully.

Percy gave me a withering look. I tried not to whimper. I didn’t think it was truly directed at me, but Percy was REALLY mad, and he couldn’t just turn that off. Through gritted teeth, he muttered. “Just. Watch.”

So I did.

Bacchus glanced over at Ephialtes, looking thoroughly unimpressed. “Really, Ephialtes? Killing demigods is one thing. But using leopards for your spectacle? That’s over the line.”

I gritted my teeth at the casual attitude towards the demigods’ lives, but didn’t react beyond that. That was typical, as horrible as it was. I didn’t think that would cause this reaction from Percy.

Ephialtes looked terrified of Bacchus, making a small squeaking noise as he stuttered “This- this is impossible.  D-D-”

I missed being able to make my enemies quake so much. But at least I wasn’t scaring my friends anymore, which was nice.

Bacchus cut him off before he could stammer at the rest. “It’s Bacchus, actually, old friend. And of course it’s possible. Someone told me a party was going on.”

Ephialtes quivered, attempting to intimidate Bacchus, and failing. “You- you gods are doomed! Be gone, in the name of Gaea!”

“Hmm.” Bacchus grunted, not looking the slightest bit afraid.

He waved at all the various junk that the Giants had evidently set up, now scattered around the area. “Tacky. Cheap. Boring. And this...” here he pause to examine some sort of rocket-like machine. “Tacky, cheap, and boring. Honestly, Ephialtes. You have no sense of style.”

On that, I agreed. Ephialtes didn’t. “STYLE?” I have mountains of style. I define style. I- I-”

“My brother oozes style,” Otis said, helping his brother out.

“Thank you!” Ephialtes cried.

Bacchus stepped towards the giants, causing them to stumble back as they tried to put some distance between themselves and the god. After seeing them try to kill Percy and Jason, it was gratifying to watch. “Have you two gotten shorter?”

Apparently one thing Ephialtes couldn’t take was height jokes. “Oh, that’s low. I’m quite tall enough to destroy you, Bacchus! You gods, always hiding behind your mortal heroes, trusting the fate of Olympus to the likes of these.”

Jason raised his sword. “Lord Bacchus, are we going to kill the giants, or what?”

“Well, I certainly hope so,” Bacchus said. “Please, carry on.”

I blinked. Then I blinked again. WHAT. He could NOT be about to do what I thought he was going to do. We’d be on the chopping block too if the giants succeeded, it made no sense NOT to help as much as he could. Simple self-preservation should have been enough motivation, even if compassion wasn’t Surely I was the only one who had been THAT idiotic about helping the Seven.

Past!Percy was also shocked. “Didn’t you come here to help?”

Bacchus shrugged, not seeming to care much. “Oh, I appreciated the sacrifice at sea. A whole ship full of Diet Coke. Very nice. Though I would have preferred Diet Pepsi.”

“And six million in gold and jewels,” past!Percy muttered under his breath.

My eyes nearly bugged out of my skull. That big a tribute?! I hadn’t had that large a tribute in one go in centuries! That HAD to be worthy of Bacchus’s help.

“Yes, although with demigod parties of five or more, the gratuity is included, so it wasn’t necessary.”

“What?”

I shared past!Percy’s confusion. He’d gotten an awesome tribute, just take it and help them!

“Never mind,” Bacchus said. “At any rate, you got my attention. I’m here. Now I need to see if you’re worthy of my help. Go ahead. Battle. If I’m impressed, I’ll jump in for the grand finale.”

If they’re WORTHY?! They had both proven their ‘worthiness’ ages ago, between all the quests they did for us gods,  with how they had helped to save us time and time again, with barely any recognition, even a ‘thank you’. They were far more worthy of help than most of the gods were. I growled lowly. I was beginning to understand why Percy had looked at Bacchus with so much hatred in his eyes.

Meg stared at him too. Abruptly she declared, “He’s stupid.” I didn’t disagree with her.

Meanwhile, past!Percy was still trying to figure out what it WOULD take to get Bacchus’s help. “We speared one. Dropped the roof on another. What do you consider impressive?”

“Ah, a good question...” Bacchus tapped his staff in thought. Then he smiled. A cold trickle of dread ran down my back. That was the same smile he gave whenever he came up with an interesting new way to drive his enemies mad. I didn’t want to see it on him here, in these circumstances. I silently prayed that Bacchus would see sense and just help the demigods without playing any games, though I knew even then that it was a futile hope.

I felt a tingle on the back of my neck. Percy was shaking even harder, his eyes eyes as stormy as a hurricane. I felt the intense urge to fall to my knees and beg him not to hurt my friends, but fought it off. He wasn’t angry at me this time, and there was no way he’d hurt Meg.

“Perhaps you need inspiration! The stage hasn’t been properly set. You call this a spectacle, Ephialtes? Let me show you how it’s done.”

Bacchis vanished, taking Piper and Nico with him. Jason shouted, alarmed, “Pipes! Bacchus, where did you-”

Jason was abruptly cut off by the floor rising and reshaping itself, the entire area reconfiguring. Meg shouted in surprise, “Percy, what’s going on?! What’s Bacchus doing?!”

Percy yelled back, disgust dripping from his words, “He’s setting up a show. Jason and I are the main entertainment.”

I flinched. This... this was way too familiar. I remembered all those times in the past when I had watched demigods fight, not caring whether they died. No, that was wrong. Wanting them to die in entertaining ways as I ate popcorn. I’d used demigods lives for entertainment myself, and never gave a thought to the demigods’ welfare.

Still, I’d never done anything like this, deliberately making demigods fight for my amusement before intervening. This... this was WAY too far. It seemed familiar though...

From way up above, I heard Bacchus’s voice. “This is a proper show!” he boomed. He sat resplendent in the emperor’s box, clothed in purple robes and golden laurels.

And then I realized.

This... this was just like when Commodus had made Meg and I fight for our lives in his arena. He had treated the whole thing like a giant game for his entertainment, a celebration of his ego and a way to stave off his boredom. Bacchus was acting the same way. He even LOOKED similar, wearing similar robes and headwear, giving that same smug expression, secure in his own superiority, in his ability to force others to do as he wished.

We gods could be just as bad as the Emperors. And not only the more well-known vindictive gods and goddesses (looking at you, Hera), but even the more ordinary gods and goddesses behaved like this. And Bacchus... of all the Olympians, he should have known better. He HAD BEEN a demigod. He should have known, should have been the one to champion demigods’ values. Instead here he was, smiling condescendingly down at past!Percy and Jason, safe from harm while the mortals fought to survive.

I choked down bile as it rose up my throat. I welcomed the burn. It hurt less than the realization of how BADLY we gods had screwed up, how much pain and suffering we had put others through, people far more deserving of adulation than we were.

“Commodus,” Meg stated. “He’s like Commodus.”

“Yes,” I replied, loathing coloring my words. “Yes, he’s just like Commodus.”

I looked to Bacchus’s side and let out a sigh of relief. Piper and Nico were sitting next to him, being tended to by a nymph. I let out a sigh of relief. Perhaps Bacchus was slightly better than Commodus - but only slightly.

pastPercy glared up at Bacchus, joining our Percy’s hateful stare. “You’re just going to sit there?”

“The demigod is right!” Ephialtes bellowed. I’d jumped. I’d somehow forgotten he was there with how caught up I was in my own head, “Fight us yourself, coward! Um, without the demigods.”

Bacchus smiled down lazily. I wanted to punch him in the face. “Juno says she’s assembled a worthy crew of demigods. Show me. Entertain me, heroes of Olympus. Being a god has its privileges.”

Being a god has its privileges. I had heard that sentiment before, both from Britomartis when she insisted that as a goddess, her needs outranked Jo’s and Emmie’s... and from myself in an earlier flashback, when I had agreed that heroes were for running gods’ errands.

We took demigods for granted, all of us. Treated them like dirt, then expected them to bow and scrape for us, be delighted at any scrap of compensation we threw their way.

We were bullies. That’s all we were. Bullies with an insane amount of power, but bullies nonetheless.

past!Percy’s expression was nearly the same as present Percy’s; incredibly pissed off. Jason didn’t look much happier. They didn’t have time to stand around however. The two giants picked up a fake mountain - why had Bacchus included that? - and hurled it at the two demigods.

Jason yelled something to past!Percy, but I couldn’t make it out over the roar of the crowd as they chanted “Fight! Fight!”. They conferred for a moment, exchanging words quietly enough that the giants couldn’t hear them, which meant we couldn’t hear them either.

They charged out of the trench together. I’d hoped they’d come up with a more sophisticated plan than attack-them-until-either-they-or-we-die. past!Percy caused a water pipe to explode, sending gushing water everywhere. Meanwhile, Jason summoned a howling gale of wind. The combined force of the two elements caused the brothers to lose their grip on the mountain and topple to the floor. They had bought time, but not much.

past!Percy yelled loudly “Hey Otis! The Nutcracker bites!”

I had to snort at that one. Even now, Percy was cracking jokes.

Then Otis picked up his spear again. I tensed, breathing hard. It’s okay, it’s okay, he lives through this, I WILL NOT HAVE TO WATCH HIM DIE AGAIN.

The spear sailed far over past!Percy’s head. I relaxed slightly. At least Otis didn’t have it now.

Otis charged towards past!Percy... bad idea, with the body of water behind him. Otis seemed to realize this as well. Unfortunately for him, giants have a LOT of momentum. past!Percy and Jason dodged out of the way, Jason sending a gust of wind to help push Otis into the water. They brought their swords down onto Otis’s head while he struggled vainly to extract himself from the water. He exploded into dust, but even seconds later, he started reforming. past!Percy churned the lake into a whirlpool, Jason sending lightning bolts onto Otis’s head whenever he started reforming.  But Otis kept on trying to reform, and Ephialtes wouldn’t be down for much longer.

“Bacchus, HELP THEM ALREADY!” I screamed at the lazy, selfish, IDIOTIC god. He couldn’t hear me, but it made me feel better. “They’ve done the most they can do on their own, what more do you need to see?!”

“He won’t help; not yet,” Percy growled. “He doesn’t want to lift a finger. He won’t join in unless they’ve already been defeated. He doesn’t care whether we get hurt or almost die in the process. He’s a god, his whims,“ Percy spat out venomously, “matter more than our wellbeing. We’re just demigods - we’re disposable.”

He’s a god, his whims matter more than our wellbeing. We’re just demigods - we’re disposable.  I wished I could deny Percy’s implication. I wished I could say ‘Oh no, we value demigod’s lives, what Bacchus did was horrible and crossed the line, most of us would never have acted like Bacchus did..’ But I couldn’t. We didn’t value demigods as much as we should. What Bacchus did here was awful, absolutely horrible, but I would barely have batted an eye at it when I was a god. I would’ve just watched - just like Bacchus now was.

The fake mountain exploded, Ephialtes emerging from the rubble. He looked PISSED, his snake feet hissing and spitting. I shuddered. As if I needed ANOTHER reason to hate these giants. To make it worse, HE hadn’t lost his spear.

Jason called down some more lightning, but Ephialtes deflected it with his spear. He charged at Jason and past!Percy, forcing Percy to stop swirling Otis’s essence around and to help Jason fend Ephialtes off.

They lunged around him, trying to stab the giant, but he just parried or dodged out of the way of every blow. Jason and Percy were slowing down. Ephialtes was not.

“I will not yield!,” Ephialtes roared. “You may have ruined my spectacle, but Gaea will still destroy your world!”

past!Percy slashed Ephialtes’s spear, breaking it in half. For a moment I dared to hope that Ephialtes would throw it away, would at least pick some OTHER weapon, but no. He held onto his (now considerably shorter) spear, sweeping Percy off his feet with a swipe at Percy’s feet (with the blunt end of the spear at least, so there was SOME small favor there). Percy fell hard, his sword clattering out of his grip. My heart skipped a beat. I knew Riptide would reappear in his pocket in a few moments, but I wasn’t sure that he HAD moments.

I looked over at our Percy, staring at the scene in front of us intensely. He had survived this. I had to keep remembering that.

I switched my attention back to the past. I wished I hadn’t.

Jason stepped forwards, stabbing at Ephialtes’s chest while his attention was still on past!Percy. Ephialtes was not THAT distracted unfortunately. He parried Jason’s strike and lashed out himself, slicing the tip of his spear down Jason’s torso, then kicked him away.

I screamed.

The world wavered around me. I collapsed on the ground, my legs folding underneath me. I was on Caligula’s ship, Piper on the ground next to me, watching in horror as Caligula plunged his spear into Jason’s chest, unable to do anything but observe, useless.  Distantly I heard Piper cry out.

Wait... I actually HEARD that yell. The world snapped back into focus. I looked up. Piper was yelling down from the emperor’s box, her eyes wild and panicked. I had seen those eyes before.

They were the same eyes she had when Jason was murdered in front of us.

She’d had to watch, horrified, as Jason and Percy were almost murdered in front of her, herself too injured and far away to intervene, an uncaring god by her side, just WATCHING. Who COULD help, but who DIDN’T CARE. As I glared at Bacchus, he smiled lazily at the terrible scene, munching on a Dorito chip.

This... this was why Piper had lashed out like she did after Jason died. “You don’t care because you’re a god. You’ll go back to Olympus after you free the Oracles, so what does it matter? You’re using us to get what you want, like all the other gods.” 

She’d seen it before. She knew that the gods didn’t care, that the gods would just use her and her friends, never mind the destruction we left in our wake, not caring about the aftermath.

Not caring that her friend had almost died for a god’s sick amusement.

Not caring that he did die, on a quest that wasn’t even his.

No wonder she hadn’t wanted to see me after that. No wonder she wanted me to leave and never return. At this moment, I didn’t want me around. I didn’t want the reminder of all I had been, of all I had done. Of all I hadn’t done.

My mouth felt dry and sandpapery as I gazed up at the vile being lounging in the Emperor’s seat. He revulsed me.

No... the entire attitude of gods towards the demigods, towards our children, our FAMILY revulsed me. I couldn’t pretend that it was just Bacchus. Most of us had this attitude, this utter disregard for anyone who wasn’t in our weight class. If they weren’t strong enough to seriously harm us, and we weren’t personally attached to them, then why should we care about their lives at all? They were pawns to use and discard as we pleased.

This HAD TO END. It wasn’t enough to just change myself. That would NEVER be enough. For the first time I truly appreciated what Percy had said after the Second Titan War, when he turned down godhood, and asked us to grant his wish instead. I had been annoyed that he would presume to bind us, that he would have the AUDACITY to tell us how to treat our children and each other, though I secretly agreed with him.

But now?

Now I understood. We had been monsters, only barely better than the beings we had rebelled against. I couldn’t blame Luke or any of the other demigods from rebelling. When the people who should care about you, your family barely acknowledges your existence, uses you as they please and throws you away, anyone who promises a better future, a way out, sounds tempting. The alternative was to continue the status quo, and the status quo was intolerable.

Percy had done the best he could, forcing us to send help for our children, to bring them to camp, and to actually claim them. But it wasn’t enough. We had obeyed his wish to the letter, and things HAD improved, but there was still a long way to go.

We had to change. All of us gods. We had to start treating demigods better - and not only our own children, but other gods’ children as well. They were NOT our playthings. They were PEOPLE. They were FAMILY. It was time we started treating them as such.

Time moved forwards, as it inevitably does. Ephialtes raised both halves of his spear above past!Percy’s and Jason’s heads as they lay on the ground, weaponless, barely able to move.

Meg screamed up at Bacchus, fear coloring her face, but her voice quivering with anger, “Help them NOW, you STUPID GOD. They’ll DIE!”

“He won’t help yet,” Percy growled, his voice low and even. I wished he had yelled. It would have been less terrifying. “He doesn’t care.”

“Then how...?” I croaked. I could see no way out of this without outside help.

Then I looked up.

“Oh.”

Ephialtes hadn’t noticed. Otis tried to warn him, but his head still wasn’t full reformed, so it came out as, “Uh-umh-mooo!” which wasn’t very comprehensible.

Ephialtes couldn’t understand him either. “Don’t worry, brother!” he proclaimed, his eyes fixed on both of the demigods, and unfortunately for him, NOT on the sky. “I will make them suffer!”

“Actually,” past!Percy said,” Look behind you.”

Percy and Jason rolled out of the way just before the Argo II fired its first shot at Ephialtes. It didn’t destroy him, but it left him charred and exhausted on the ground. Otis wasn’t much better. He was still trying to gather himself together, but he looked like burnt oatmeal from the arms down.

The ship descended to the ground, Leo at the helm, Hazel and Frank grinning by his side. I felt a smile tug at the corners of my mouth. Of course Leo had come through - when had he not?

past!Percy turned around and yelled insults at Bacchus, still lounging in the emperor’s box. Perhaps not the smartest thing to do, but it was satisfying to watch. “Well? Was that entertaining enough for you, you wine-breathed little-”

“No need for that,” Bacchus cut him off. “I have decided that you are worthy partners for this combat.”

“Partners? You did nothing!” both Jason and I yelled. I blinked, startled. I guess we thought alike at times.

Bacchus strolled over to the pile of Otis mush. Bacchus smacked him with his pinecone staff, disintegrating him completely. The crowd cheered wildly, as if Bacchus had accomplished some great feat, instead of smacking an immobile and helpless opponent with a stick.

He strolled and strutted over to the other giant, basking in the adoration of the crowd. I felt sick. What was he trying to prove? And to who? Everyone had seen what had really happened. Percy and Jason had done most of the work, while the Argo II had finished them off. The ONLY reason Bacchus was required at this point, was because of the technical requirement that a god and demigod had to work together to defeat a giant. He hadn’t done anything great, or worthy of applause. He’d barely done anything at all!

As Bacchus raised his pinecone staff (a stupid-looking weapon if ever I had seen one, but I had learned better than to insult other gods’ symbols of power to their face), the crowd roared “DO IT!”

Ephialtes yelled in a panic, “DON’T DO IT!” but Bacchus wasn’t about to listen to him. He tapped Ephialtes on the nose. He instantly crumbled to ashes.

The crowd in the stadium cheered and threw confetti. Bacchus strode around triumphantly, arms open, basking in the applause. “That, my friends, is a show! And of course I did something. I killed two giants!”

Who was he trying to convince? He certainly wasn’t convincing the demigods. THEY had done all the work, had endured all the danger, while he just lounged around. And yet he wanted the credit. Saying that he had killed the giants may technically be correct, but he was exaggerating his role, making it seem like he had done more than he actually had.

Exaggerating his role...

I had done much the same thing over the years, spreading tales of what I had done that weren’t strictly accurate. I had told myself at the time that they were essentially true, even if they weren’t technically true. I hadn’t quite been able to fool myself.

I misrepresented the truth sometimes. Partly I did this to spread a certain reputation around, be seen in a certain way. I didn’t think the truth was enough, so I’d spin things to make myself come off differently.

Sometimes though, I was really lying to MYSELF. After I had defeated Python, I had declared how easily I had bested him, that a single arrow from my quiver had turned him to dust. This wasn’t to make myself look better to my brethren, though I told myself that that was the purpose. Hearing the TRUE story, how I had fought and struggled, had almost been destroyed several times throughout our battle, but had won in the end, would arguably have been more impressive.

But that wasn’t what I had WANTED to happen. I WANTED to tell myself that I had easily destroyed Python, that he didn’t haunt my nightmares, that I didn’t flinch when I heard the rustle of scales on stone. It was my way of rewriting history, of coping with the trauma of that battle.

And I just... kept on doing it. when reality didn’t line up with my needs or desires, I told myself that it was different. That was why I had my motivational pep talk, you are gorgeous and people love you. It was an attempt to persuade myself that it was true.

What did it say about Bacchus that he was attempting something similar, trying to persuade himself that he had been more impressive, had done more than he really had? Perhaps we weren’t so different, in the end.

Still, regardless of his personal issues, he should NOT have taken them out on these young demigods. They had enough on their plates already.

The Argo II landed, Leo, Hazel, and Frank leaving the ship. Piper and Nico struggled down from the emperor’s box as best they could, until they reached the rest of their friends. The Colosseum which had only moments ago held a roaring crowd (granted, mostly of ghosts, but still a crowd) slowly dissolved into mist.

“Well, that was fun,” Bacchus said, looking satisfied. “You have my permission to continue your journey.”

“Your permission?” past!Percy snarled. I had much the same reaction. They didn’t need Bacchus’s approval. Besides, if he HAD stopped them, Gaea would have destroyed us.

“Yes, though your voyage may be a little harder than you expect, son of Neptune.”

“Poseidon,” Percy corrected. “What do you mean about my voyage?”

It seemed that Percy had already moved on from his fury. Of course he had. This was typical for gods; he hated it, but he would be used to it by now.

“You might try the parking lot behind the Emmanuel Building. Best place to break through. Now, good-bye, my friends. And, ah, good luck with that other little matter.”

Bacchus vanished.

What was he talking about, Percy’s journey being harder? Not for the first time, I wished that I had paid more attention to the world around me while I was trapped on Delos. But seeing the pain Artemis was going through, aware of what her Hunters were going through, but unable to intervene, had dissuaded me from doing so. I had been miserable enough as it was.

The world vanished. We were back at Camp Jupiter.

Percy turned to face me, his eyes stormy and full of resolve. He put his hand on my shoulder, looking me squarely in the eye. “Promise me,” he stated. “Promise me that when you regain your godhood you will never do what Bacchus just did. Promise that you won’t just stand aside and use us as your entertainment. That you’ll value our lives.”

A promise, oh-so-similar to the one Jason had extracted from me on the day he died.

How could I not give my word?

I stared back into Percy’s eyes. Beneath the undercurrent of anger, I could sense how tired he was, how afraid that this would all be for not. That even after all that had happened, history would repeat. That the gods would continue on their path. That he and his friends would be toyed with again by those who were ostensibly on his side.

“I promise. If I regain my godhood, I will fight to stop the gods from using demigods only to throw you away. I will not allow this to continue if it is in my power to change it for the better. And I will not forget the worth of a mortal life, nor will I toy with them for my own amusement. How we treated you demigods was wrong. You are our family. We should have treated you as such.”

Percy held my gaze a moment longer, searching for sincerity in my words. Finally he nodded. I saw a sliver of cautious hope enter his eyes.

I took the opportunity to do something I should have done a long time ago.

“I’m sorry.”

Percy looked back at me, surprised. “For what?”

“I shouldn’t have treated you and Grover so badly, back during Grover’s birthday. I sent you two to retrieve my wayward automaton. That should’ve been MY responsibility. I completely ignored your objections, convinced that my needs outweighed yours. To make it worse, I threatened Grover. I saw that memory recently. I was a tool. I won’t do it again, force demigods and satyrs to take on a quest that should have been MY responsibility. It was wrong.”

Percy’s expression softened slightly. “Thanks. Make sure to apologize to Grover too, alright? He’s the one whose birthday was ruined, and he was the one you scared.”

“I will, next time I see him. I’ve got a long list of people I need to make amends to.”

“You do that.”

As he walked out the door, Percy paused and looked back at me. “Oh, and Apollo? I stand by what I said at camp. You HAVE changed.”

He went out the door.

A warm glow filled my chest. Before I hadn’t been thrilled to hear that I had changed. I didn’t want the reminder that I was less than perfect, that I could change like any human. But now? I could think of no greater compliment.

I had changed. I would ensure the other gods changed as well. They had to. I couldn’t let our neglect and abuse carry on. Not anymore. Never again would I sit on the sidelines. 

I would keep my promises to both Jason and Percy.

And I would remember.

[sabotajuu-a]

SHIP   INFO   !

TAGGED BY   :     nobody because my grubby little fingers stole it from @nomither so ty bb <3 TAGGING   :     everybody with at least one working kidney RULES   :     answer the following for your muse(s) so people know how shipping works on your blog.   REPOST, don’t reblog. Who’s ready for me to go into detail when nobody fucking asked me to???

WHAT’S   YOUR   OTP   FAVORITE   SHIPS   FOR   YOUR   MUSE   ?

                    I won’t lie, I actually abhor the term OTP because it feels like it’s closing off any potential shipping plots with other muses and characters.   To answer this question, I’ll be highlighting my favored dynamics, because I’m a lawless heathen and I spit on your rules.

                    Let’s get killers over with first.   Trapper and Jake has been a long-standing ship of mine, and it’s for obvious reasons.   They likely have a long-standing feud of Trapper and Saboteur, and I do love hate-ships.   Another favorite dynamic of mine is Doctor and Jake, just because of the machinery Jake can fuck with outside of game mechanics.   He may despise Lery’s and all that comes with it, but I do enjoy the thought of him weaponizing some of that medical and electrical equipment against Carter, and it’s entirely Guud_Night’s fault that I even got into Doctor and that one fucking suit of his.   Jake... loves a man in uniform, and a man in a suit, and Carter just so happens to check both marks.   We don’t talk about the secret cursed ship, thanks.   I already told you about my semi-secret guilty pleasure, so hush.

                    As for survivors, and get ready because this is a complete shocker     (   he lied   ),     but I ship Jake with literally any man that is outlandish, loud, confident, cocky, and / or doesn’t seem to know the meaning of silence or personal space.   So you’re looking at Ace, David, and Ash for those particular choices.   Jeff is in the middle ground.   So why those particular three?   Jake absolutely abhors them on first meeting.   Their personality types do not mesh well with his own, though he warms up to Ace the quickest, and Ash... let’s just say he still considers introducing that man’s jaw to the floor even after he warms up to Ash.   David would probably be that middle-ground because he isn’t as bad as Ash, but he’s not easy to get along with like Ace either.

WHAT   ARE   YOU   WILLING   TO   RP   WHEN   IT   COMES   TO   SHIPS   ?

                    Literally anything, so long as it’s not the obvious incest, pedophilia, non-con brigade.   I’m also not willing to write ships with Dwight, Meg, Claudette, or Nea because Jake sees them as family, whether or not there is a pre-established dynamic or not.   This is non-negotiable since it is my personal headcanon.   With that aside, I’m down for pretty much anything so long as my writing partner is comfortable with the content.   I only state that specifically, despite it being an obvious requirement to ship, because I am someone who enjoys exploring some DARK SHIT, but can understand most of that content isn’t everyone’s cup of tea.   Like full on gore and things like that.   I just want people to have some damn fun, y’know?

HOW   LARGE   DOES   THE   AGE   GAP   HAVE   TO   BE   TO   MAKE   YOU   UNCOMFORTABLE   ?

                    I don’t quite have many age gap issues, aside from Jake being with anyone under 23.   It’s a personal comfort, and Jake would much prefer people around his own age or older.   As for older, I guess the age cap would be... 60s?   I really don’t have much of an issue with older characters because it’s two legal, consenting adults entering a relationship, so... whatever.   Older people need love too.

ARE   YOU   SELECTIVE   WITH   SHIPPING   ?

                    LMAO fuck no.   I’m always down to clown with suffering because that’s what you’re going to get from me.   Suffering and random soft shit.   I literally love seeing everyone’s characterizations of their muse, and I want to explore all of them.   Though I will, at times, have ship exclusives, but the requirements for that to happen are strenuous and I don’t like to limit myself to shipping with 1 person when i can ship with 9283429 people.

HOW   FAR   DO   STEAMY   MOMENTS   GO   BEFORE   THEY’RE   CONSIDERED   NSFW   ?

                    Honestly, intercourse itself.   Or, depending on the content, when things dabble into the gorier aspects.   Like I said, I’m fine with writing some fucked up shit, so I’ll likely start putting that SFW to NSFW threshold pretty low to avoid complications with other people.   I hope that’s blunt enough.

WHAT   ARE   OTHER   MUSES   YOU   SHIP   YOUR   MUSE   WITH   ?

                    Out of the fandom, you are free to drop kick your way into my DMs and hit me with that good shit, because wow I love to explore every aspect of potential shipping dynamics.

                    As for Dead by Daylight, I personally want to explore ships with Frank, Joey, Quentin, Tapp, Adam, and Jeff.   I know I mentioned Jeff in that one question above, but I’m going to state him here too since I did say he was more of a middle-man option.   I’m still a little ??? on the dynamic itself.

DOES   ONE   HAVE   TO   ASK   TO   SHIP   WITH   YOU   ?

                    I mean... how else are you going to ship with me?   I don’t like people forcing their ships onto me, and I’d prefer screaming at you about our goblins rather than it being entirely one-sided.   I promise you that 99% of the time, just outright kicking me in the head and yelling     I WANT OUR BOYS TO KISS     will get me to agree and discuss the ship further.

HOW   OFTEN   DO   YOU   LIKE   TO   SHIP   ?

                    I honestly do love shipping, but I don’t need to ship to enjoy writing a character.   It’s definitely something that can easily be explored, but it isn’t mandatory.   I get that Jake isn’t the easiest person to ship with anyway considering he literally hates everyone except, like, four people, and is a feral little creature.   But sincerely, I do like to ship whenever the fuck I feel like it.

ARE   YOU   MULTISHIP   ?

                    Hell yeah.   I remember the days singleship was the in, and I honestly felt so restrained.   Give me all of your boys and let me love them all, thanks.

ARE   YOU   SHIP   OBSESSED   OR   SHIP   MORE-OR-LESS   ?

                    I wouldn’t say I’m either.   I basically just ship as chemistry blossoms and discussions are made, so long as the other person is down to clown.   So for this question, I’m a big ol’ middle finger that’s been spray painted by the funky little jester that jingles miserably beneath the dirt.

WHAT   IS   YOUR   CURRENT   FAVOURITE   SHIP   IN   YOUR   CURRENT   FANDOM   ?

                       OH, GEE SCOOB WHERE DO I START?   JAKE PARK AND GROWING UP WITH A DECENT FATHER.   JAKE PARK AND HAPPINESS.   JAKE PARK AND SELF-HELP.   JAKE PARK AND LITERALLY ANY POSITIVE OPTION THAT I’VE CONVENIENTLY FORGOTTEN ABOUT WHEN WRITING HIS CHARACTER.   If you’re looking for a serious answer, you’re looking in the wrong place.   I don’t have a favorite ship, so eat rocks.

HOW   DOES   ONE   SHIP   WITH   YOU   ?

                    LITERALLY JUST HIT ME WITH IT.   Hit me as hard as you probably smash your Dead Hard key in a stressful situation, only for it to not go off, so you rotate furiously on the ground until the killer picks you up.   Just fucking message me and water my crops with your ship, because there is a 99% chance that I either ship it already myself, or that we can work things out.   If I can make a viable crossover relationship between a League of Legends champion and a SMITE God with a friend, or an Evil Within 2 character and a TF2 merc with a friend, we can make this work too, probably.

[anonymous-human]

MTMTE characters of your choosing !! headcanons for their s/o (separately) arranging a little halloween party for the crew after a failed mission to find some knight or something alike? like as in to lift their spirits

(sure, but since you weren’t so specific about it, is it cool if like swerve and the s/o decide to have a little surprise Halloween party to lift the crew’s spirits after a failed mission a few days before? If you’re not okay with that, please go ahead and tell me, I can redo these if you want. maybe. Swerves’s kinda long btw. ha, hey look. i really got into this one ^_^ I love Halloween!)

Rodimus

He hates failing! It’s the worst!

He’ll say a speech to try and help the team look forward, but he’ll blame himself and become depressed about it, and he makes it known to the people he trusts, (Magnus, Megatron, Drift and You. perhaps a few others, but not off the top of my head.)

He’s a bit impatient by the door, But the second you unlock the doors, they open, and the place is decorated from the floor to the ceiling in decoration as fitting music hums through the bar.

“O my Primus!” he exclaims, eyes widening as he looks around the room as mechs fill the bar. 

“What is this?” he’d ask you. You’d explain how he started to feel down, and some of the crew was feeling a bit off so you decided to try and try to make at least this spooky Halloween fun for all of you. 

“You didn’t have to!”

“Yeah, we did.”

“Okay, yeah you kinda did.”

Drift

Drift wouldn’t feel too bad, everyone tried, and that’s all that matters! And that's…. That’s kinda a smaller tick. 

But when everyone was called down to Swerve’s, he didn’t mind coming to see what was happening.

He had to anyway, he was second in command.

When he saw the decorations and stuff he was confused. 

So after he found you and asked what all this was, you explained the loss of the battle, and the sad mechs made you feel and, and then you had to explain this was a Halloween party.

And then you needed to explain what a Halloween party was. 

He thought what you were doing was amazing actually! Going out of your way to throw a party to help the crew! That’s so nice of you!

Magnus

He doesn’t really care, as long as no one causes a problem, he doesn’t mind at all. 

“Come on megs! Relax a bit, come out of the suit!” 

“I will not.”

“Pleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeease! I threw a party! I want you in this party too!”

“I am in this party.” 

“Maaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaggggggggsssssss!” 

He comes out as Minimus Ambus and drinks some really, really laid back energex.

He ends up admitting this was very nice of you, some of the crew, he looks at Rodimus, “-Really needed this.”

“Of course! I’m always up for helping them out.”

Megatron

Like Magnus, he really doesn’t want to participate.

He’ll be there for a little while in the beginning, but will leave quickly to let the crew have their fun without him - they don’t want him there anyway. 

So you personally go get him with the bar is mostly empty, or after hours, after you and swerve kick out the last of the partiers for being there at closing time. 

Swerve was cool staying for another hour and a half for you. Guessing that you and megs have become close, and seeing how he means to you, he doesn’t mind being there for you.

So as Swerve serves up drinks for you and megs, you tell him about how much fun the crew were at the party, and how Rodimus got so drunk he was practically screaming ‘you got the touch’ on the tables. Yes, tables.

“Don’t worry, I’ll… I’ll help you deal with a hungover Rodimus in the morning.” you say, “i promise.” 

When you end up explaining the real reason you decided to throw this party, he’s actually very happy you wanted to make the crew happy from the last loss.

How did he end up with such a selfless person, is what he asks himself.

Whirl and Skids

Oh my god, they thought it was a great idea! 

But tbh they just got really drunk. 

Whirl started fighting the decorations, ended up hurting himself, passing out and getting his ass hauled back to his hab by Magnus.

Skids needed to try every drink on the menu that got it’s name changed for the day.

It was a bet… 

He didn’t even make it through before his favorite human song came on, and he stumbled to the dance floor only to pass out.

… He also got his ass hauled back to his hab by Magnus.

For the record, he only had two drinks left to finish. Thats a win for me.

Rung

He thought it was an absolutely adorable idea. It’s really sweet of you, you know that? 

He only stayed for a few drinks though.

He knew it was going to get crazy, so he left early to get some work done. 

or work on a ship. 

Anyway, he was lucky, he left about 5 minutes before it started to get crazy.

Swerve

(Now for the origin story (Kinda? Whatever *cracks knuckles anyway*)get ready, she’s a long one.)

After the loss of the mission, the ship became a bit dull. 

The Rodimus speech was great and all, but they still had something to worry about now. 

So, you hatched a plan, and here we go to step one; get Swerve’s help!

“Swerve I need your help!” you call to him one day when you catch him locking up. 

He was curious to what you needed from him, and upon hearing you brilliant plan to make the crew happy, he was in. 

Step two; get the decorations and other special stuff together. Well, you’d be surprised. Rodimus does the weirdest stuff, and you found some black and orange rolls of streamers, and a ton of balloons.  

You tested them out in his hab, and they looked really cool! Great for a party! Then you ended up spending an hour on drink names, because that sounded like a really good idea to you both. 

And then the next step, you needed to figure out the best time to put the stuff up with it still being a surprise to the crew. What you ended up doing was picking a day, and then kick everyone out an hour earlier the day before, and then get ready for the next day. 

And quickly, that day came! 

You both went right to work. And after a long night of nothing of shitty jokes from the web & sitcoms to 200 pounds of coffee (and perhaps the cybertronian equivalent), it was all done. 

“Wow! This is gonna be a great party!” You said and you admired the finishing look of the room.

“Yeah, we might have to do this next year!” swerve chuckled. 

“If this doesn’t completely blow, and your chill with it, i’m in.” you say, followed by awkward silence.

“Did we just do thing in the shows’ where the dude and a chick that like each other bond?”

“Yes! Those are always the best parts!” you smile. “This was fun Swerve. Thanks for letting me do this with you.” 

“Yeah, it was! I’d throw a party any time if it turns out like this!” 

And then you kiss. 

JK, you look at the time, and the bar would open in at least 2 more hours. So you run an announcement over the loudspeaker saying something along the lines of ‘the bar opens with some special stuff, open to all mechs come down!’.

As you may know, unless you read this first, the party went spectacular, and even though half the crew got fucked up drunk, everyone still had a good time! Good job team!

[chokememrstark]

Requiem Of Memories // Part 8

Ship: Samifer (Sam Winchester / Lucifer)

Words: 2007 (Chapter 8 / 15)

Fic Summary: While waiting for Lucifer to return, Sam has a chat with the demon that interrupted them and finds out who she actually is. He's shocked by the discovery, but he can't help but like her somehow.

angst, hurt & comfort, alternative universe, au!lucifer, mourning, depression, blood and gore, nightmares, loneliness

Note: I highly recommend to read Nightmares Become Reality before this, otherwise the premise of the story and the setting might not make much sense.

Sorry for the delay again, I’m really not reliable ._.

Tagging: @shebahda @sassysupernaturalsweetheart  @spnyoucantkeepmedown   @brieflymaximumprincess  @kajuned @archingangel @this-darkness-light @secretlydaydreaminglifeaway @humongouscandycoffee

If you want off the tag list or want to be added, just drop me an ask or IM!

Read on AO3!

Sam waited and waited, but Lucifer didn’t return. Hours passed and Sam didn't know what to do with himself. He was worried sick, constantly torn between wanting to scream and cry. What if something happened to Lucifer? What if he couldn’t fight off whatever had attacked his people? Or what if he was captured and tortured and Sam had no way of finding and saving him? He didn’t know this world, didn’t know the rules or where the other side was hiding and what they were planning… he was basically a helpless child at the moment.

The demon on the bed - a short, young woman with wavy black hair and almost invisible horns - was still unconscious and covered with blood and dirt, so eventually, just to pass some time, Sam went to the bathroom and got a bowl of water and a few cloths and towels. He had no idea if she would wake up and kill him because he dared to touch her or not, after all Lucifer’s demons were not very keen about his presence, but he couldn't worry about that too now.

As careful as possible, Sam cleaned the blood off her face, then her arms. He was sure that there was more blood underneath her clothes, but he wouldn’t undress her for sure, that would only make her angry. Instead, he got one of his hair brushes and got rid of the dried blood in her hair before washing the rest away with clear water. When he was done almost an hour had passed and he managed to get rid of almost all the blood and dirt. Sam doubted that it changed anything, but it didn’t hurt at least.

After putting everything away, including the bloody towels and cloths, Sam continued his pacing through the room that he interrupted before. He took books out of their shelves and put them back without looking into them, stood by the window and searched for any sign of a fight or Lucifer, even tidied up what didn’t need to be tidied up at all. He was restless, worried and nauseous, and there was just nothing he could do about it. It was making him mad. His head ran wild with horrible scenarios of what might be happening right now and he wished for nothing more than to be able to shut all his thoughts off for even a minute.

While he stared out of the window once more, Sam suddenly heard a groan behind him and spun around. It was the demon, she had woken up and was pressing a hand against her head now while sitting up. Immediately, the hunter rushed towards the bed and knelt down.

“Hey, you woke up! Thank god.”

“Yeah, as if He had anything to do with that,” the demon scoffed and began checking herself for injuries. Sam ignored her sarcasm.

“Lucifer healed you, but he’s still gone,” he said quickly. “I cleaned all the blood I could see away while you were out, I hope that’s okay.”

“Sure, whatever,” she said and gave him an estimating glare.

Sam realized that she would not share his worries or even care for them. For a moment he forgot that Lucifer’s demons didn’t like him, he was too worried for that. But her reaction made it clear that she couldn’t have cared less about him or anything he did.

“Sorry, I’ll leave you alone,” Sam sighed and pushed himself back up. “Lucifer said he’ll be back soon, he didn’t want you to be alone for now.”

“Typical,” the demon huffed and rolled her eyes. “Still thinks I’m incapable of handling things myself.”

“Well, you were pretty battered when you came here, so…”

“You would be too if dozens of angels attacked you out of the blue,” she hissed and glared at him again. “I still don’t know what the hell happened, they shouldn’t have been able to even be there…”

“Angels attacked you?” Sam asked surprised.

“What did you expect, demons? Of course they were angels. Little winged bastards and their pets.”

“I thought…” Sam stopped, biting his tongue. What did he think anyways? His first instinct would have been demons, but she was right. After all, the demons were attacked, so that was stupid.

“I hope he will manage,” the demon suddenly interrupted Sam’s thoughts with a very worried voice. “They seemed to be very organized and knew where to hit us for the most damage, that’s unusual.”

“How did you manage to get out of there?”

“I fought one of their beasts off and ran, what else? The others were still fighting but I had to get help. We can defend ourselves, but they were just so many.”

Sam was even more worried than before now. What the demon said sounded very dangerous indeed. He knew Lucifer was strong, at least he assumed he was, given that he was an archangel, but that didn’t ease his worries at all. And why were they even attacked in the first place? What was the reason behind this? Apparently these things didn’t happen more often, or the demon wouldn’t be surprised.

“Hey, Giant!”

Sam shook his head and looked back at the demon, totally taken aback by the sudden interruption, especially with such a nickname.

“How about you make yourself useful and bring me some water?”

“Excuse me?” Sam blinked surprised. “Am I your butler and didn’t get the memo?”

“Ugh, sorry,” she rolled her eyes over-dramatically. “Would you please get me a glass of water?”

Sam huffed to hide his confusion, but did her the favor. He got a glass of fresh water from his own stash and brought it over to the bed, waiting for her to finish it. Apparently demons got thirsty too, who would have guessed?

“Thank you,” she said when the glass was empty and put it on the nightstand. “Sorry for being so rude, I’m not in a good mood right now.”

“Forget it,” Sam waved his hand. “You’ve just been attacked after all. And you seem worried too.”

“Of course I’m worried,” she sighed. “We just rebuilt our safe zone in Detroit a few months ago, we didn’t expect another attack so soon.”

“Do things like that happen often?” Sam asked and pulled a chair closer to the bed to sit down. “That they attack you, I mean.”

“They do it quite often, but this safe zone was unknown to them,” she narrowed her eyes in concentration. “The last one they attacked wasn’t as safe, it was just an old factory building we used for storage purposes while building up the actual safe zone.”

“And you have no idea how they found it?” Sam asked and she shook her head.

“Not a clue. We were warded against angels, hunters and everything else, but they still found us. Maybe we have a rat somewhere in our ranks.”

“Damn, that would suck,” Sam hissed. If they actually had a rat, no place was safe and he knew that. “I hope Lucifer comes back soon…”

“Me too,” she sighed. “I hate when we have to call him to help us, that’s what we are there for after all. To defend our zones. Lucifer has bigger things to do.”

“I’m sure he’ll be fine,” Sam tried to assure her, sadly without much cogency. “I’ve never seen him so serious before…”

“He can get pretty intimidating when he’s serious,” the demon laughed and shook her head. “You shouldn’t anger him, just a small warning. It’s not fun when he’s angry.”

“Yeah, I figured that much,” Sam huffed. “I’m Sam, by the way. But you probably know that already.”

“Of course, everyone does,” the demon said and rolled her eyes. “You’re famous amongst demons already. You can call me Megan, or Meg for short, I don’t care.”

Sam thought his jaw would fall off by how fast it dropped. Meg? Did she just say Meg? That couldn’t be, she didn’t look like Meg at all!

“Are you having a stroke?” Meg asked, poking Sam’s shoulder with her finger.

“No… no, I’m fine...” Sam mumbled, totally baffled. He couldn’t believe this was actually Meg, but now that he looked at her a bit closer, he realized that it could be. Her vessel was different, but kind of similar to the Meg he knew, or not? The same hair, the same height apparently and, if he’d squint his eyes, even her face could be the same, just… a bit younger maybe. And with horns, even if they were rather small and less intimidating than the ones he had seen on other demons so far.

“You look like you’ve just seen a ghost of something,” Meg scoffed.

“That’s one way to put it.” Sam cleared his throat and tried to act normal again. “I’m just surprised. I… I knew a demon named Meg in my world too.”

“Right, Lucifer mentioned something about you coming from a parallel world. So it’s true?”

“Yeah, kind of. It’s a bit complicated,” Sam scratched his head awkwardly. “This world is very different from mine.”

“What is your world like?” Meg asked curious, to which Sam couldn’t suppress a jerk of his lips.

“It’s… greener. I don’t know, but I guess that’s the best way to describe it. The apocalypse didn’t end like this there, we managed to stop it just in time.” Sam was surprised he could talk about this so easily, but it just happened.

“You stopped it, really? So, your world wasn’t destroyed like ours?”

“No,” Sam shook his head. “It’s pretty normal, I guess. We still fight demons and monsters of course, but most humans don’t even know any of them exist.”

“I knew it, you’re a hunter!” Meg exclaimed, but not in a good way. “You have these eyes, this look that all hunters have.”

“We have a look?”

“Oh yes,” she huffed. “You all have it, it comes with the job. It makes our skins crawl and be on edge as soon as you are close.”

“I didn’t know that,” Sam marveled. He wondered if this was a thing only in this world or if the demons he had met had seen the same things in his eyes.

“You don’t look like you’re about to kill me though, why not?”

“Why should I kill you?” Sam asked surprised. “You’re a demon, sure, but I don’t wanna kill you. I don’t want to kill anyone anymore to be honest. I’m tired of it.”

“Could you have a chat with our hunters so they feel the same?” Meg asked, to which both of them had to laugh a little. “I mean, if you have time and all.”

“I’ll check my calendar,” Sam grinned and Meg chuckled again.

“I like you, Sam,” Meg suddenly said, startling the hunter for a moment. “Don’t get me wrong, I hate hunters, but you’re not that bad actually. A bit wimpy looking, but I guess that’s because you’re human.”

“Says the one that looks like a little girl,” Sam scoffed with a smile. “Excuse me, okay? I’m double your size, I could break you in half.”

“I would love to see you try, Giant.”

“Sorry, but I don’t hit girls.”

Sam had expected Meg to be much more resentful towards him, but she didn’t seem to be like the other demons he had seen here so far. He wasn’t convinced that this wasn’t just an act, but for a few moments he found it nice to not be faced with hate from those who followed Lucifer.

“Do you think he’ll come back soon?” Meg suddenly asked, the concern back in her voice. “I know he is strong and all, but there were so many of them this time.”

“He promised he’d be back, so he will,” Sam said confidently. He was worried out of his mind, but Lucifer had promised to come back and he believed in his promise.

“I hope you’re right,” Meg sighed. “If he doesn’t come back we are screwed.”

“He’ll be back, you’ll see. He’ll be back.”

[habibialkaysani]

Strange Bedfellows (Rosaline/Benvolio; G)

Ships: Rosaline/Benvolio

Summary: Set during 1x05. True to his word, Benvolio sleeps on the floor. Rosaline starts to feel guilty.

A/N: So I am new to this fandom, but not to writing, so I hope this fic is one of many! :) Enjoy.

Shoutout to Meg/@jeffersonjaxson for reading this over and helping me with a title.

Read at AO3

Read at FFN

Rosaline can’t sleep.

Granted, she hasn’t been able to for a while now - since Juliet’s death, or even before then, when Juliet took the potion, if Rosaline is to be completely honest with herself - but tonight it seems worse than usual. She tosses and turns fitfully, childishly keeping her eyes shut as if pretending to sleep will help her actually sleep.

Finally, she opens her eyes and stares at the ceiling, thinking, thinking. She goes over and over Friar Lawrence’s words in her head, willing her mind to focus on the mission and not stray to -

Benvolio.

She keeps her eyes fixed on the ceiling, not wanting her gaze to betray her by looking at him. She should feel guilty, really, for the way she stared at him as he towelled himself dry earlier that night, but she doesn’t. She was just… appreciating the view. And a good view it was. Benvolio is certainly handsome - she can admit that, now that they have established that they are no longer enemies. There is something… soft about him, and it feels hard to explain even to herself what it is that draws her to him.

And yet it goes against every sensibility she has to be falling for him, the very man she had sworn she did not want to marry. She was supposed to end up in a convent, for God’s sake.

Despite herself, she can’t help but glance over to Benvolio, and to her surprise she finds he’s staring at her intently. When their eyes meet he looks away hurriedly, and Rosaline’s brow furrows in confusion for a moment.

“Can’t sleep, Capulet?” Benvolio says eventually.

“Too much on my mind,” Rosaline replies, just as he chances another glance at her. She watches as he shivers, having no blanket to cover him, and a pang of sympathy goes out to him at that. “You?”

“Too cold,” Benvolio says. “I won’t pretend the floor is actually comfortable. But no matter. We only have one blanket between us, after all.”

Rosaline groans inwardly, wishing she didn’t have so much of a conscience. After a few more seconds, she sits up and relents. “Come here,” she says, already regretting the words but nevertheless beckoning to him.

Benvolio raises his eyebrows. “I beg your pardon?”

“You’re cold and uncomfortable and you can’t sleep because you’re on the floor. At least if you’re in the bed, one of us might be able to get an hour’s sleep before nightfall.”

“But… would that not be - improper?” he asks, and that insufferable smirk is on his lips and in his voice and it's impossible not to let him get under her skin.

“It would be,” Rosaline says, making to get up, “which is why I’m going to sleep on the floor.”

“But then you would be cold and uncomfortable.”

“Are you suggesting we share?” she asks, trying and failing to seem aghast by what he’s suggesting.

“We have little other choice,” Benvolio reasons. “If it helps… I know not to grab a woman without her permission.”

“You mean you’re not a savage,” Rosaline says sarcastically. “Oh, joy.”

“If you feel uncomfortable, then let me stay on the floor, Capulet.”

Rosaline sighs, giving in. “Fine. Come on, then.”

Benvolio gets up, and Rosaline moves to the edge of the bed as he gingerly pulls the blanket over him and gets into the bed. He keeps his distance from her, and at first Rosaline doesn’t notice but then she realises he’s barely covered by the blanket. She sighs again, moves back to where she was before on the bed, and after a moment Benvolio copies her, moving so he’s no longer on the edge of the bed at risk of tumbling off it. Her back is to him, and they’re not quite touching, but their limbs are close to each other, close enough for Rosaline to feel Benvolio’s breath on the back of her neck.

“What’s on your mind?” Benvolio asks quietly. Rosaline turns around at that, and she lets out a little gasp when she realises how close his nose suddenly is to hers. She moves back a little, cursing the person who made this bed and thought it was big enough for two people.

“My sister,” Rosaline says half-truthfully. ”I’m just worried about her.”

“You know, when I saw you with your sister, you reminded me of something.”

“What’s that?”

“That I should still have faith in humanity,” Benvolio answers.

“I don’t understand.”

“Even before Verona was out for my blood… I never thought much of people. I felt they only cared for themselves. I only cared for Mercutio and Romeo, and then… then I had no one. I have no one.”

“You have me,” Rosaline says before she can stop herself.

“I do,” Benvolio says, and he seems genuinely touched, “and for that I have no doubt that I am grateful. But when I saw you with your sister - I realised it was still possible to be selfless, to love someone with all your heart and expect nothing in return. To love someone, be responsible for someone, so unconditionally that you would drop everything to save them -”

“As you would have done for Mercutio or Romeo,” Rosaline says, “in a heartbeat.”

“When they were in my life,” Benvolio says heavily. “Which they are no longer.”

“I am your friend,” Rosaline says firmly. “And before you make a crack at me being -”

“A Capulet?” Benvolio asks with a smile.

“- the last friend you have, I was going to say -”

“Now, now, Rosaline, you cannot possibly think that I will emerge from this unscathed.”

“Perhaps not. But I am sure of one thing, Benvolio.”

He looks up with something that looks like hope in his eyes. “And what's that?”

“Your innocence, of course,” she answers. “And that… gets you further than you think. In the eyes of the Prince, anyway.”

At the mention of Escalus Benvolio’s expression hardens somewhat. “How can you be so sure of this?”

“Because…” Rosaline hesitates, then says, “I know the Prince. We know each other from childhood. And I know that he is a good man. I trust him to do the right thing.”

Benvolio doesn't seem surprised at her revelation. He just nods slowly, as if coming to an understanding, and then he turns on his side so his back is to her. Rosaline exhales softly, and it's as Benvolio jerks his head forward sharply that she realises her breath is kissing the back of his head. Still, she doesn't move from her position; now he seems to have warmed up, the heat Benvolio exudes is oddly comforting.

(She learned that last night when they huddled for warmth together.)

“Well, I trust you,” Benvolio says, and his sudden words catch her off-guard. “And if you say the Prince is a good man and he will be fair to me, I believe you. I just hope for my sake that you are right. But it doesn't change things.”

“What do you mean?”

“I mean… being a wanted man - the Prince’s kindness notwithstanding - puts things into perspective. It makes you understand the more important things in life.”

“And what are those things?” she asks. She's curious, now, because he still won't look at her. He surprises her, then, by turning around so he's facing her again, and to her further surprise he reaches down and searches for her hand, not stopping until their fingers are laced together. Rosaline finds herself squeezing his hand, so his hand and hers are tightly twined like vines. Benvolio opens his mouth, lips slightly parted, and he looks like he's about to say something, but then his hand slackens in hers and he turns away once more.

“Actually… it doesn't matter,” Benvolio mutters.

“Benvolio…”

“You were right,” he says, and he gets up and out of the bed, taking several steps away from it and her. “This is… improper.”

“So is running off with a man in the middle of the night,” Rosaline counters.

“And I know I am to blame for that too,” Benvolio says ever so bitterly.

“No, I chose to come with you. Just like I chose to be your friend rather than your enemy. And I chose to let you into this bed because I trust you. With my life.”

“You trust me with your life?” The incredulity in his voice is not lost upon Rosaline.

“Of course,” says Rosaline. “That's… usually how things go when someone saves your life several times in a row.”

Benvolio smiles a rare smile, and now he sits on the bed next to Rosaline, who is still under the blanket.

“And here I was thinking you had forgotten the first time I saved your life.”

“I'm not very good at being grateful,” she admits. “Something my uncle and aunt like to remind me of.”

“You don't need to be,” Benvolio says firmly. “Not ever. But for what it's worth… I am grateful to you.”

Rosaline tries not to feel pleased but there's no mistaking the pinkness suddenly on the tips of her ears.

“For what?”

“After Mercutio, and after Romeo… I was lost. And then you hurtled into my life -”

“Kicking and screaming, if you'll recall.”

“- and it was like my life had purpose once again when we first started investigating Friar Lawrence. Together.”

“For what it’s worth?” Rosaline says after a moment.

“Mm?”

“I’m glad I was betrothed to someone I could be friends with.”

“As am I.”

Rosaline pulls back the blanket and pats the space next to her. “Now, since we have improprieties out of the way,” she says, “how about you get back to bed?”

“I never thought the day would come that a Capulet would be asking me to be her bedfellow.”

“Keep talking like that, Montague, and you’ll be back on the floor.”

Benvolio laughs, and it’s a glorious sound in the face of the adversity that is sure to come for them both. He gets into the bed, and for a moment their limbs squash together as he gets comfortable and moves to what has become his side of the bed.

“Wake me up in an hour,” he says, and with that he falls asleep, almost instantly.

Rosaline closes her eyes, too, knowing she won’t be able to sleep, but nevertheless comforted by the warm presence beside her.

“I’m coming to get you, Livia,” she murmurs. Then she pauses, and she amends, “We’re coming to get you.”

Tagging: @accras @yahanabih @thesushimonster @stungunmilly2 @dailypassionateobsession @rainfiresnowearth @fallinfor-youreyes @artemisodinson @indolentwanderer @livierinforeva @zerotolove @glowysweetfab @ikekehfan @bisexualjamesollsen @superwomanlanalang @redvelvetcupcakes21 @plum55 @-cort- @sweetdiva21 @ourcoffeeaddictme @queenstephaniaa @sugarysweetzee @queenofchildren @chocochocolatelover @therealpamlisa @miiandatrey @always-the-big-spoon @laurelbonnieallison @strangefellowsinhertime @misfitwriter @miiandatrey @shelovesthebeard @seasickmermaid @ginger-elf-queen @lyanaalvarado @potatoonthebookshelf @sincerelyemmekay @lilzipop @beerlula @darisu-chan @illtakefiction @lyanaalvarado @gentlesleaze @la-petite-fadette @britay83

[pastelgrungewrecker]

Bitterness

When the fires, when the fires have surrounded you And the whole wide world's comin' after you. I've got blood I've got blood on my name.

There was something burning in his chest again; staring out over his collected “followers”.

What a title.

“Followers”, like he was some holy mech, some kind of God amongst those with mortality and lifespans that ended.

He ran a thumb over the darker colors on the plating of his arm, pondering and wondering and seething like the churning lakes of molten death in a smelter. He stared out over their meager setup, a camp for the lost and near-broken and he had to resist the urge to give in to the screaming in his processor.

Wouldn't do much for morale; seeing the Captain lose his processor with no obvious catalyst.

“Interesting colorscheme.”

What do you know. A catalyst.

Megatron frowned, staring at the too-tense back of Rodimus as the Captain stood stock-still. The visible edges of helm flares twitched, and the younger mech turned his helm just enough to see his cocaptain.

“Everyone needs a change once in a while.”, was the bitter retort. Acid rain and summertime magma flows encapsulated the words; they ground out like shrapnel in a motor's moving parts and Megatron's own plating rippled from the chill it sent through him.

“May I ask why?”

“Gotta keep with that fire theme, y'know? And the blue is the hottest part of an open flame.”

“I don't much enjoy sarcasm.”

“Get over it.”

Megatron was taken aback. This was... unlike the Rodimus he had come to know- The Rodimus more inclined to fake happiness than he was to give cold orders. A Rodimus who, more-often-than-not, favored isolation over public honesty and fatal optimism over reality.

“Rodimus-”

“Shut up.”

Megatron's frown increased in intensity as he stepped forward, reaching out to lay a hand on the colonymech in front of him, “What has gotten under your pl-”

Rodimus swatted Megatron's hand away as he turned sharply on one heel; his optics were on fire though his plating was cold and clamped tightly to his frame. Rodimus stared levelly at him for a moment; suddenly vicious and far too real for comfort, taking up Megatron's entire field of vision and the ex-Decepticon felt something cold settle in his tanks. He knew this look, he knew what happened when mechs tumbled off this slim precipice-

And it was never an easy fall.

“What's under my plating? A lot of things, Megs.”, snapped Rodimus, “A hell of a lot of things. One of 'em being YOU.”

“What do you mean Rodi-”

“That's CAPTAIN RODIMUS to you.”

A sentence uttered with a kind of ice-capped finality that made Megatron step back, optics narrow and frame braced for a fight.

“Don't pull this all-knowing and all-seeing omniscient slagheap act with me, Megatron. Don't act like a sage with me right now.”, snarled Rodimus, “Not when my crew is suffering, not when we're lost and betrayed.”

Megatron straightened, watching as Rodimus's servos curled into ready fists- razorblade lines of heat and rage danced over microseams as the Captain continued.

“Everything was fine, until Optimus saddled me with YOU.”, he hissed, “Everything was rough but FINE until he pulled that little stunt; until he dropped my WAKING NIGHTMARE onto MY SHIP. And I was told to play nice.”

“Is that what this act is about, honest-”

“I'LL SHOW YOU ACT IF YOU DON'T CLOSE YOUR MOUTH!”, roared Rodimus, seams bursting alight and dentae bared, “GO ON, TALK DOWN TO ME ONE MORE TIME.”

“Don't be an idiot.”

“I could say the same to you.”, was the replying hiss, “Did it ever occur to you to request separate transport? Request holding quarters until my ship reported back a success or failure? Or did you just decide to toss aside someone else's safety for your own? How STARSCREAM of you.”

“What are you talking about, Rodimus?!”, snapped Megatron, “I was near death, about to be sentenced to an execution- do you even understand what that's LIKE?”

“No, Megatron, I don't.”, was the suddenly and eerily calm answer, “Because I didn't get a CHOICE before mine.”

Megatron froze, swallowing hard and trying not to glance down at Rodimus's chestplate. Vivid memories of an airlock and the smell of burnt wiring suddenly surfaced, and Rodimus's smile was vindictive and cold.

“What's wrong, Megs?”, he asked with a faux kind of brightness; words gilded in patchy goldflake and tainted copper paint, “Somethin' suddenly on your mind?”

“I-”

“You.”, interrupted the young Captain, “Yeah, you. You, you, you. You and Optimus. You and Magnus. You and everybody and everybody and YOU.”

Rodimus took a step forward, “You, making snide remarks at every turn I make. You, criticizing my captaining abilities- and I'll be the first to admit they're negligent. But... Look who I had TEACHING me.”

Megatron took another step back.

“You, on my ship; by my side, in my own little world. How DARE you think you can just walk into my damn existence and feel no backlash.”

“Rodimus, I-”

“What, you're trying to leave it all in the past? Trying to 'move forward' and all that happy psychiatrist babble?”, snapped Rodimus as he advanced one step, then two, “Tell me Megs, what's it LIKE being able to move on, huh? Do you regret ANYTHING you've done?”

“Rodimus, of course I do- I wouldn't be here if I didn't.”

“If only you weren't here AT ALL.”

Rodimus was glaring at him, into him, through him- back at a gloomy ship and a split-second decision; back to when the world went dim then dark after the blast of a fusion cannon and back even further-

Back to when heroes were exposed as failures and back to when he realized protection was a foolish facade. A daydream at best, and that sacrifice was to be expected of him with no chance of healing afterwards.

“C'mon Megs. Tell me. What was it like being treated like you're real?”

“And how would I know? I was nothing but a miner in the eyes of most until I managed to form the Decepticons-”

“Yeah, that's what I'm talkin' about. What's it like to be treated as REAL and LIVING? You think you're the ONLY ONE who tried to lead a resistance? Tried to fight for your chance to be acknowledged and treated like an actual person in the eyes of the Senate?”, said Rodimus levelly, coldly, angrily, “Here, let me tell you a fun little story, O Mighty Megatron. Let me tell you about Nyon, after the mines dried up and Primus left us in a lurch. Let me tell you about hiding the innocent and let me tell you about your life ending in a FUEL TANK!”

Megatron was not a mech who knew fear. It was not something he regularly acknowledged, nor was it something he often had time to ponder. But here, alone and facing a Rodimus who was leaking hellfire and righteous fury- he thought that he could understand where such things as fear came from.

“Let me tell you about dry mines and let me tell you about saints and saviors, Megatron. You AND Optimus played both with me- Did you think I'd forgotten? Think I'd forget hearing your slimy words mix in with Optimus's own oilslick speeches, huh? The both of you didn't deserve the time I wasted but HERE WE ARE! My time was not only wasted, but wasted on mechs who didn't DESERVE it.”

Rodimus looked near-feral and vicious as he continued speaking, “The both of you talk a real big reconciliation game, you know that? It's... Well, it's damned sickening.”

Megatron watched as Rodimus stood too straight, too tall; a glacier or the pits of the Inferno, Megatron couldn't decide which description was accurate.

“How dare you act like you deserve forgiveness from me.”, said Rodimus flatly, “How DARE you act like you deserve me accepting whatever you call an apology. Do you think that acting high and mighty and trying to play Teacher with me excuses what I had to go through? What you PUT ME through?”

“Of course not, Rodimus, wh-”

“No, don't talk. For once in your damn life Megatron; maybe you should listen.”, was the growled answer, “You told me, told all of us, that you did what you did to try and help those less fortunate. Then tell me- when faced with someone less fortunate...”

Rodimus stood too close, staring up at Megatron's face like a tomcat with bloodied teeth, “Why in the hell was your answer to kill 'em, huh?”

“It was not something I desired to start doing- but the situation I was in-”

“THE SITUATION you were in was being told to step the hell back and let us GO.”, snarled Rodimus, temperament shifting like mercury through hot glass piping, “And your answer was to murder me and kick me through an airlock. YOU KICKED MY CORPSE INTO SPACE, MEGATRON.”

Megatron winced.

“Do you know what it's LIKE, being dead?!”, snapped Rodimus, “Tell me, Megatron, do you know what it's like to be dragged back from that? And then to have people MOCK IT OPENLY. Tell me, do YOU know what THAT'S like? Since your suffering is just so damn PARAMOUNT to EVERYTHING.”

Megatron's optics flickered in a kind of blink as Rodimus backed away enough for fields to diminish, “I don't think you really GET what you've done, Megatron. Yeah, your little speech at your trial was fantastic, nice work! But I don't think you GET IT. You are on a ship full of mechs you directly affected. You were put on a ship led by a mech you DIRECTLY. AFFECTED.”

Rodimus's optics were the color of permafrost and the temperature of a planet's core, “We are your walking war crimes, Megatron. And you don't get to say 'I'm sorry' just to get another chance.”

Megatron looked away, “Rodimus, I understand that I have done unforgivable things. I understand this, acutely.”

“Really? Do you?”

“I wouldn't be here if I did not.”

“Then tell me, mister convincing, why the HELL anyone should forgive you.”

“Because I am at least TRYING!”, snarled Megatron, “That alone should be worth something!”

“Says who?”, said Rodimus casually, disinterest crawled over his face in the lines near his optics and the cut of his jaw, “Trying isn't going to make the scars fade. Trying isn't going to make our nightmares stop- make MY nightmares stop. Trying isn't gonna do a THING for me. Results will.”

“Oh, and I've shown no results?!”

“So far all you've done is 'respect my boundaries', and even then only just enough to play nice. Not ONCE did you take into consideration that you had no place being on my ship, Optimus's orders or not. Not once did you consider that your input isn't just unnecessary, but damn near UNWELCOME.”

“I was trying to HELP.”

“If you want to HELP then LEAVE.”, was Rodimus's answer. The very punctuation of the sentence itself seemed loud and overbearing, “You are the LAST. MECH. Who deserves to talk to me. Don't you get it? You kept saying you did what you did to help people, and LOOK WHAT CAME OUT OF THAT.”

“Oh, and you've had a line of successes, I suppose?”

“I didn't have help- you had an army. You had Soundwave giving you information, you had Starscream acting on your orders. You had legions, you had squadrons, you had an ARMY.”, said Rodimus, “I had a scarred sparckchamber, half a matrix, and Drift. Do you GET IT? You don't get to criticize anyone on this ship- and especially not me.”

Megatron watched as Rodimus returned to his initial place, glimpses of hellfire and anger still racing along microseams and peeks of flames at the ends of his servos as his fists unclenched, “I wouldn't be in this situation if you had never existed.”

“No, you wouldn't- you'd be dead in a tank, according to your words.”

“Which is where you and Optimus belong, for what you've pulled.”

Megatron jerked back at the blunt statement. Rodimus looked at him over a shoulder, his optics holding no mercy or emotion in them as the sentence hung in the air.

“Reduced to wishing death on others as petty revenge now?”

“Well yeah- not everyone gets a fusion cannon to shoot young mechs in the chest when they disagree.”

Rodimus turned away from him, “Now go away, would you? You make the chamber scars itch.”

“One last question, Captain.”, said Megatron, drawing up to his full height, “Would you have killed me too, in Brainstorm's position?”

“No.”

“Oh, really?”

“No, I wouldn't have killed you immediately. You don't deserve that kind of mercy from me. I'd make you suffer first.”

Megatron's expression fell. He could hear the bitter smile in the words as they were spoken, could see Rodimus's servos twitch at the idea. He watched the young Captain's back, saw the sudden relaxing of his stance and wondered, vaguely, just how deep this hatred ran in the normally positive mech.

“But then, there's that damn sense of obligation, you know? Since I'm supposed to be one of the Good Guys and all that.”, laughed Rodimus, “There's this little whisper in my helm saying I'm better than that, that I haven't fallen that far- I haven't fallen like you.”

He shook his helm, “And then I try and tell myself that it wasn't YOU who put Zeta in charge of Nyon; it wasn't you who drained my people for the sake of superweapons... But. The reason we needed superweapons was because of your war.”

“The war was not only me.”

“I know. That's why I despise you and Optimus equally.”

“The Senate-”

“Yeah, yeah, the Senate. I've heard it a thousand times. I know they are why you did what you did. That doesn't excuse that what you did was wrong, and that no one is obligated to forgive you for anything. Ever. So get used to it, Megatron. Get used to this.”

“But-”

“Don't try and blind me with your stupid poetry and speeches. Don't try and make this into 'I'm Trying and That Means Something' cause I already told you. Trying does NOTHING for me. Just lets me know to keep a closer eye on you. Make sure my nightmares don't get a repeat performance; cause this time I don't have a stray Matrix to bring me back.”

Megatron fell silent.

“Now go away. Leave me alone. You aren't welcome near me; and I'm not sure you ever will be, either. My ship was supposed to be the means to escape you and Optimus and the war and all it's fallout but you two decided to bring it along with us. Go... bond with Magnus about how terrible I am at being a Captain or something- Primus knows the pair of you won't make an effort to help me. Why would you do that when I'm just such perfect comic relief for the pair of you?”

Megatron opened his mouth to answer, and then closed it. He wanted to retaliate with something, anything to make Rodimus's claim less true and to his horror- had nothing. Nothing to comfort, nothing to calm- nothing to say. He stared, near helplessly, at Rodimus's back and let the Captain's words settle into his processor.

How many times had he demanded results- writing off attempts and trying as excuses? How many times had he demanded recompense for his hurts and wounds? It was only natural Rodimus do the same; but why did it feel so personal?

“I didn't..”, began Rodimus suddenly, quietly, almost forlorn, “I didn't get a movement to save me and mine. I didn't get a Terminus to tell me I could change the world. I didn't get to 'unify the people' and I didn't get a chance....”

Megatron was silent.

“I didn't get to stand up, not until I had to push the button. My first experience with this war, your war; you and Optimus's war, the Senate's war, whoever wants to own that particular sin... My first experience was everything and EVERYONE I ever knew... going up in smoke. You never had to do that. You never had to whisper your goodbyes and run, Megatron.”

“I did with.. with Terminus.”

“And then you got him back.”, said Rodimus, “Tell me Megs. Do y'see any other Nyon-mechs here?”

Megatron's tank seemed to implode. He suddenly realized what his reunion with Terminus looked like- at least to Rodimus. He couldn't imagine what it was like, seeing the mech who ended you get back something he wanted more than anything in the world; while you sat in silence.

“And... And I'm not even asking for them to come back, anymore. They don't deserve a broken world like this- I just wanted a chance to say goodbye. Say I'm sorry...”

Megatron's spark hurt.

“To tell them I didn't mean to lose my way.”

Megatron wanted to say he understood that, if anything- but paused. Yes, he also had lost his way, so to speak but... had he lost his way in this hopeless manner? He hadn't turned to apathy- instead he had turned to anger, righteous anger...

But this?

This... emptiness that rang in Rodimus's words spoke of old priests and politicians watching a world they once loved burn into nothingness. This was the last soldier coming home; this was the sound of cold medals hung on a chest carrying nothing but a broken spark and a promise.

A promise that had yet to be fulfilled.

“Rodimus... I'm. I'm sorry.”

“Noted, Megatron. Leave me alone.”

Megatron nodded his helm, turning to take his bootstep-heavy pace away.

“Remember what I said, would you?”, called Rodimus as almost an afterthought, “Even though I'm sure you and Mags are gonna gripe about what an emotional mess I am, and how hard it is to deal with me- Remember what I said.”

Megatron grunted in response.

“A shipful of war crimes, Megatron- and all of them are almost as bitter as me. Good luck on that reconciliation- you and Optimus both. You're gonna need it.”

Rodimus listened as Megatron walked away, that sense of hopelessness that painted his words infusing him through and through. His spark hurt, his frame hurt, everything was sore and surrounded in that familiar iciness of never-quite-dead and with a sigh he sat down.

One day, one day he'd be able to say everything. One day, he'd be able to say what he needed to.

One day, Nyon would forgive him for what he had done.

He closed his optics.

But he wouldn't blame any of them if they didn't...

He was used to shouldering guilt by now.

[carolrance]

I saw this thing. I’m answering this thing... even though nobody asked.

So, I saw someone answering this and thought it was sorta cool but I don’t think people will respond anymore so I’m just doing it myself. Self love, ya know.

Talk about the first ship you ever had. Uhhh… I can’t remember which came first Mulder & Scully or Usagi/Mamoru. (The latter being really icky to me now that I’m older, lol.) I think it was Mulder/Scully… I was in primary school for both of these so it’s confusing cos that was a really long time ago.

Talk about three of the most important ships throughout your life. Mulder/Scully (The X Files). I honestly don’t really feel like “talking” about them cos I don’t think it’s very interesting. Also, I have no idea where to begin. Naomi/Emily (Skins) – I fucking can’t stand them now, to be completely honest. I actually sorta hate Emily. By they (and Skins in general) did have a rather huge impact on my life. Now, I feel like I should put Dany/Doreah but really I think more importantly in terms of my life, it would be Marissa/Alex from The O.C. Does that sound stupid? Maybe. But that pairing (as shitty as they treated Alex and the whole relationship by the end) had a fairly huge influence on me. I think it was my first femslash ship that I was totally open about. (I totally shipped Jo/Rachel (and Jo/Rachel/Paul) from S Club 7 (DON’T EVEN!) but back then I didn’t even think it was serious…even though I had a whole website about it, lmao.)

What’s your current OTP? Oh my… Dany/Doreah forever & Marg/Sansa (ASOIAF/GoT). Michelle/Naomi (Skins). Carol/Helen (Episodes). Amanda Rollins/Olivia Benson (SVU). (With a bit of Rollins/Lindsay on the side. SVU/Chicago PD). Niska/Astrid (Humans). … So… Like… A lot? A lot of old OTPs are still OTPs now? Bo/Lauren (Lost Girl). Meg/Veronica (Veronica Mars). Katniss/Johanna (THG). Lou/Tess (Lip Service). Quinn/Rachel (Unreal). Jessica Jones/Trish Walker (Jessica Jones). Virginia Johnson/Lillian DePaul (Masters of Sex)………I think even my few het ships I’m still not totally over (Chase/Cameron, Mulder/Scully, Martin/Sam, etc) but I mean, I don’t really care either.

What’s your current NOTP? Any of the above characters paired with men. Simple. I have a lot of nOTPs tbh. Most canon ships are NOTPs lmao. Although… I guess Patsy/Delia is a current NOTP of mine. Don’t shoot! I just don’t care for them. They are boring to me.

Do you have any poly ships? I was sorta into Marissa/Alex/Ryan (The O.C.). I started a fic about them. And the aforementioned Jo/Paul/Rachel.

How do you feel about love triangles? Lazy. The thing is, they’re a real thing. I’ve been a bunch and they’re just uncomfortable. No matter what, somebody gets hurt. I just feel like in TV/films they’re SO LAZY. An easy way to create drama for drama’s sake. And one faction of fandom is always upset. And usually they’re really shoddily designed so it’s like one girl, 2 boring ass boys fighting for her WHO WILL SHE CHOOSE?! BLAH……. Boring. “The triangle’s not a friendly shape, okay? It’s pointy. It’s got edges. Triangles hurt people, man.”

How do you feel about RPF? Nope. I’m a bit of a hypocrite cos I spent a great deal of time in my childhood sorta straddling the very thin line here with the whole S Club 7 thing. And, I’ll admit, I did enjoy this April Pearson/Lily Loveless fic once.

Have you ever shipped yourself with a character? No. Usually my favs feel a little too relatable which is why I’m attached to them, not cos I wanna bone them. Also, way too much drama. I mean, fictional characters are almost always exaggerated people.

Do you have many ships that never got together at all? All? LMAO. Okay, let’s see… Sam/Martin did, briefly (Fuck Without A Trace tbh. What a horrid little show.) Chase/Cameron were together and that ended badly as well. Carol/Helen, also ended horribly (so far). Mulder/Scully… that’s difficult. They’re difficult. Marissa/Alex, ended horribly. Naomi/Emily, technically… hmmm. Well, as of S4 they were back together but I didn’t buy it and I pretty much loathed Emily by that point so fuck em. That ended badly too. It ended horribly if you count S7–which I don’t cos I never watched it. If I didn’t see it, it didn’t happen. Bo/Lauren. Okay, this may be the only bright light in all my ships, lmao. They were together and then not, then together, then not, then END GAME. So, I guess the ones that never got together??? Basically just look above at my OTPs and see all the ones I didn’t mention here ending horribly lol.

Do you ship any characters that have never met? ONLY THE BEST ONE: MICHELLE/NAOMI.

Talk about your favorite first kiss. Like in canon onscreen? Or in my head? Big diff. Chase & Cameron maybe. I loved that episode. Mulder & Scully’s first (onscreen) kiss was a bit weird. I don’t remember Sam/Martin tbh. Hmm… Marissa/Alex was hella stilted and awkward prolly cos it was on FOX and like Mischa Barton is a terrible actress. Bo/Lauren’s first kiss was pretty good. Yeah, I really liked that one. Mostly cos it didn’t fade to black immediately (ahem, Carol/Helen) and it wasn’t set to ‘I Kissed A Girl’ (Naomi/Emily)… Okay, in fairness that was only the American version. The one I saw had Lily Allen playing instead… But still. I loved that episode but it wasn’t the best first kiss I’ve ever seen.

Have you ever been disappointed when your ship finally got together? Yes, when they get together only to end even shittier. Which is basically all of them except Bo/Lauren.

Has a ship ever broken your heart? All of them. Canon and otherwise. My heart breaks on a regular basis.

How do you feel about will they/won’t they? Ugh. Useless. Generally, it’s queerbaiting when it’s my femslash OTPs. When it’s het, I’m just like, “As if these two lonely, outrageously attractive co-workers wouldn’t have banged already. Like, give me a break and just do it already. Who believes this shit?”

Have you ever “shipped at first sight”? Lemme think… Probably? I can’t actually recall any specifics however. Not Mulder/Scully, I know that. The first time I saw them, it was New Year’s Eve and I spent the entire show huddled on the sofa in my friend’s basement with her and her cousins, shaking and screaming, lmao. The X-Files really isn’t great TV for easily scared children with big imaginations, lbr.

Talk about a ship you initially disliked. One that I like now that I disliked previously? Erm. None. I don’t flipflop on ships, lbr. It goes like this: I am oblivious/indifferent to ship, depending. I see ship. I ship ship. I love ship. And it’s only then that this can diverge. Either I stay in love forever, or I end up positively hating the show/pairing and I stop shipping it, or it just kinda dies out over time. Normally it’s the first or second, rarely the third.

Talk about a pairing you’ve stopped shipping romantically. And now just ship them only as friends? Or stopped shipping them and dislike them now and don’t want to have anything to do with them? The latter is clearly Sam/Martin. I just hated how the characters were written and the show was fucking awful after S3. The former… Ah, the former. I think this really has to be Naomi/Emily. I am 1457% Naomi/Michelle, no alternatives accepted. Naomily is toxic imo. Like so incredibly nope. I am -100000% Naomily. I stopped shipping them mid-S4, probably during Katie’s episode. I was just like, “Nope, this is pretty gross and not healthy and what the fuck?!” I gave up completely at the finale when it was so fucking stupid. I think by then I’d already had my Michelle/Naomi dream… Anyway. Like, I literally cannot handle Naomi/Emily anymore. At most, I can deal with them as friends. But even then, sometimes I wonder if writing them that way in my fics is pandering in some sense. It’s not intentional pandering to Naomily stans… but, now I look back and wonder? They’re just so awful together romantically. I shudder.

Talk about a moment which made you question an entire ship. Hmmm…. Carol/Helen in Griffith Park in 4x09 when she makes Carol give back her bra. That whole episode was really nasty and really awful and not funny at all. I really dislike the writing there. It was just… Helen was just disgusting really and it made me really uncomfortable about shipping it. I have other examples but it only asked for one.

Have you ever shipped something despite yourself? She-Ra and He-Man. I had no idea they were brother and sister when I was little but I thought they were cute together. Oops. It wasn’t until a few years back when I mentioned them at a party and everyone was like, “Errr, you do know they were twins, yeah?” NO. I DID NOT.

Talk about a ship you feel alone in shipping. Carol/Helen. I feel like the few people that shipped it with me on tumblr here were really turned off by their breakup. And also, it’s been on hiatus forever. Also, I suppose Claire Dearing/Zara Young from Jurassic World, lmao.

Is there a ship you just don’t get, but have nothing against? Most het ones? Like, just… why would you be with that puffy wonderbread boy when you could be with this other hot lady and have 10003x times more chemistry and interestingness? (Like I mean, I’m totally talking about Erin Lindsay and that gay dude she’s fucking, when it would be so much better if she was with Rollins, lmao. You go watch the crossovers episodes and tell me I’m imagining that.) Other het ships, I have definite things against the men.

Which of your ships have the best chemistry? OH GOD. Now, ermmmm…. this depends almost exclusively on my own headcanon/bias so obvs others aren’t likely to agree. Cos, well, Michelle/Naomi have hella chemistry LMAO. Like just look at this photo. Clearly. Okay, seriously… Bo/Lauren. Like hands down, undoubtedly.

Which of your ships deserve better writing? Every single one of them. Especially Dany/Doreah lmao.

Do you mostly ship canon pairings? Clearly not.

Have you ever shipped a pairing before you even started watching the show/movie simply because of gifs and graphics or similar? Skins. Lost Girl. Actually, hmm. I saw gifs of LG but I guess it wasn’t until I saw Zoie Palmer at a film premiere I went to that I was like, “WHO IS THAT?!” And then I realised I had to start watching that programme.

Have you noticed a pattern in your shipping? Is there a romantic dynamic you’re more drawn to? Blonde/Brunette. Like, it’s really obvious. But not 100%. Otherwise, I don’t really see any substantial patterns.

Is there a ship you’ve shipped for most of your life? Mulder/Scully.

Does shipping come easily to you? Neither here nor there. If it clicks, it clicks.

Do you need to ship something to really enjoy a movie/book/tv show/comic? Most of the time. But then sometimes shipping gets in the way of my enjoyment cos it becomes all about the pairing.

Name a couple of fandoms in which you have no ships. Fortitude? Honestly… I don’t even know. I watch a bunch of TV I have no particular interest in shipping anybody. Oh! Here’s one NASHVILLE. I honestly do not care who’s with whom. It’s irrelevant.

Talk about one of your favorite headcanons for a ship you love. Dany/Doreah – Doreah is alive. That’s it. That’s the headcanon. (And bonus, Dany takes Doreah to Lys and burns down the pleasure house Doreah was sold to as a child.) I have to add that most of my fav headcanons revolve around one half of my OTP still being alive. Which is both sad and really telling. (Like… Doreah, Margaery, Naomi, Meg, Marissa, Lillian… Ouch.)

Share five must-read fics. I’m trying really hard not to rec my own shit cos I just love my headcanons too much. Okay, here: They Will Crown You, They Will Take Your Legs by (Netgirl_y2k); tie your handlebars to the stars (and throw away the map) by (majesdane); my heart is gold and my hands are cold by (quinnking); If you’re gonna shoot me down, do it gently by (aphrodite_mine); I Can’t Get Out Of Love (a love i had a grip on; now it’s gripping me) by (doreah) hahahahahahahahaaaa i will do whatever i want when i want to force this pairing on everyone

Name your favorite fanartist(s). IDK??????????

Share your favorite fanmix for your OTP. Dany/Doreah: actually… oops. my fav fanmix for them is on my ipod and nowhere else lmao. it’s really good hahahah. anyway… um. so i’ll choose one that’s not mine: i’ll send a storm (most of mine are either doreah-specific or based on my fic which is a lot of headcanon and this one has excellent musical choices. that first track is killer.) Meg/Veronica: song of solomon (your poetry in motion) Chase/Cameron: i’m all second chances Michelle/Naomi: can’t get out of love Bo/Lauren:  it’s killing me, it’s killing you, a page from the book of my fantasy

Recommend 1-5 shipper blogs. Pass. I don’t even know any…

Do you create fanmixes/gif sets/fanart/fic/fanvids and so on for you ships? Used to. Obvs.

Do you have a favorite trope and/or AU for your OTP? Half of it not being dead.

Do you like and use ship names? I generally stay away from them unless I to find stuff/want people to find my stuff on tumblr. I find them cloying.

Is there a fictional relationship you’d really want for yourself? Hell no. Real life is difficult enough.

If you could change one thing about your OTP, what would that be? They would all be alive. Sensing a pattern? Also, being canon would be nice.