#one wants a president that will get things done
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The article is under the cut because paywalls suck
This is an edited transcript of an audio essay on “The Ezra Klein Show.” You can listen to the conversation by following or subscribing to the show on the NYT Audio App, Apple, Spotify, Amazon Music, YouTube, iHeartRadio or wherever you get your podcasts.
If you want to understand the first few weeks of the second Trump administration, you should listen to what Steve Bannon told PBS’s “Frontline” in 2019:
Steve Bannon: The opposition party is the media. And the media can only, because they’re dumb and they’re lazy, they can only focus on one thing at a time. … All we have to do is flood the zone. Every day we hit them with three things. They’ll bite on one, and we’ll get all of our stuff done. Bang, bang, bang. These guys will never — will never be able to recover. But we’ve got to start with muzzle velocity. So it’s got to start, and it’s got to hammer, and it’s got to — Michael Kirk: What was the word? Bannon: Muzzle velocity.
Muzzle velocity. Bannon’s insight here is real. Focus is the fundamental substance of democracy. It is particularly the substance of opposition. People largely learn of what the government is doing through the media — be it mainstream media or social media. If you overwhelm the media — if you give it too many places it needs to look, all at once, if you keep it moving from one thing to the next — no coherent opposition can emerge. It is hard to even think coherently.
Donald Trump’s first two weeks in the White House have followed Bannon’s strategy like a script. The flood is the point. The overwhelm is the point. The message wasn’t in any one executive order or announcement. It was in the cumulative effect of all of them. The sense that this is Trump’s country now. This is his government now. It follows his will. It does what he wants. If Trump tells the state to stop spending money, the money stops. If he says that birthright citizenship is over, it’s over.
Or so he wants you to think. In Trump’s first term, we were told: Don’t normalize him. In his second, the task is different: Don’t believe him.
Trump knows the power of marketing. If you make people believe something is true, you make it likelier that it becomes true. Trump clawed his way back to great wealth by playing a fearsome billionaire on TV; he remade himself as a winner by refusing to admit he had ever lost. The American presidency is a limited office. But Trump has never wanted to be president, at least not as defined in Article II of the U.S. Constitution. He has always wanted to be king. His plan this time is to first play king on TV. If we believe he is already king, we will be likelier to let him govern as a king.
Don’t believe him. Trump has real powers — but they are the powers of the presidency. The pardon power is vast and unrestricted, and so he could pardon the Jan. 6 rioters. Federal security protection is under the discretion of the executive branch, and so he could remove it from Anthony Fauci and Mike Pompeo and John Bolton and Mark Milley and even Brian Hook, a largely unknown former State Department official under threat from Iran who donated time to Trump’s transition team. It was an act of astonishing cruelty and callousness from a man who nearly died by an assassin’s bullet — as much as anything ever has been, this, to me, was an X-ray of the smallness of Trump’s soul — but it was an act that was within his power.
But the president cannot rewrite the Constitution. Within days, the birthright citizenship order was frozen by a judge — a Reagan appointee — who told Trump’s lawyers, “I have difficulty understanding how a member of the bar would state unequivocally that this is a constitutional order. It just boggles my mind.” A judge froze the spending freeze before it was even scheduled to go into effect, and shortly thereafter, the Trump administration rescinded the order, in part to avoid the court case.
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What Bannon wanted — what the Trump administration wants — is to keep everything moving fast. Muzzle velocity, remember. If you’re always consumed by the next outrage, you can’t look closely at the last one. The impression of Trump’s power remains; the fact that he keeps stepping on rakes is missed. The projection of strength obscures the reality of weakness. Don’t believe him.
You could see this a few ways: Is Trump playing a part, making a bet or triggering a crisis? Those are the options. I am not certain he knows the answer. Trump has always been an improviser. But if you take it as calculated, here is the calculation: Perhaps this Supreme Court, stocked with his appointees, gives him powers no peacetime president has ever possessed. Perhaps all of this becomes legal now that he has asserted its legality. It is not impossible to imagine that bet paying off.
But Trump’s odds are bad. So what if the bet fails and his arrogations of power are soundly rejected by the courts? Then comes the question of constitutional crisis: Does he ignore the court’s ruling? To do that would be to attempt a coup. I wonder if they have the stomach for it. The withdrawal of the Office of Management and Budget’s order to freeze spending suggests they don’t. Bravado aside, Trump’s political capital is thin. Both in his first and second terms, he has entered office with approval ratings below that of any president in the modern era. Gallup has Trump’s approval rating at 47 percent — about 10 points beneath Joe Biden’s in January 2021.
There is a reason Trump is doing all of this through executive orders rather than submitting these same directives as legislation to pass through Congress. A more powerful executive could persuade Congress to eliminate the spending he opposes or reform the civil service to give himself the powers of hiring and firing that he seeks. To write these changes into legislation would make them more durable and allow him to argue their merits in a more strategic way. Even if Trump’s aim is to bring the civil service to heel — to rid it of his opponents and turn it to his own ends — he would be better off arguing that he is simply trying to bring the high-performance management culture of Silicon Valley to the federal government. You never want a power grab to look like a power grab.
But Republicans have a three-seat edge in the House and a 53-seat majority in the Senate. Trump has done nothing to reach out to Democrats. If Trump tried to pass this agenda as legislation, it would most likely fail in the House, and it would certainly die before the filibuster in the Senate. And that would make Trump look weak. Trump does not want to look weak. He remembers John McCain humiliating him in his first term by casting the deciding vote against Obamacare repeal.
That is the tension at the heart of Trump’s whole strategy: Trump is acting like a king because he is too weak to govern like a president. He is trying to substitute perception for reality. He is hoping that perception then becomes reality. That can only happen if we believe him.
The flurry of activity is meant to suggest the existence of a plan. The Trump team wants it known that they’re ready this time. They will control events rather than be controlled by them. The closer you look, the less true that seems. They are scrambling and flailing already. They are leaking against one another already. We’ve learned, already, that the O.M.B. directive was drafted, reportedly, without the input or oversight of key Trump officials — “it didn’t go through the proper approval process,” an administration official told The Washington Post. For this to be the process and product of a signature initiative in the second week of a president’s second term is embarrassing.
But it’s not just the O.M.B. directive. The Trump administration is waging an immediate war on the bureaucracy, trying to replace the “deep state” it believes hampered it in the first term. A big part of this project seems to have been outsourced to Elon Musk, who is bringing the tactics he used at Twitter to the federal government. He has longtime aides at the Office of Personnel Management, and the email sent to nearly all federal employees even reused the subject line of the email he sent to Twitter employees: “Fork in the Road.” Musk wants you to know it was him.
The email offers millions of civil servants a backdoor buyout: Agree to resign and in theory, at least, you can collect your paycheck and benefits until the end of September without doing any work. The Department of Government Efficiency account on X described it this way: “Take the vacation you always wanted, or just watch movies and chill, while receiving your full government pay and benefits.” The Washington Post reported that the email “blindsided” many in the Trump administration who would normally have consulted on a notice like that.
I suspect Musk thinks of the federal work force as a huge mass of woke ideologues. But most federal workers have very little to do with politics. About 16 percent of the federal work force is in health care. These are, for instance, nurses and doctors who work for the Veterans Affairs department. How many of them does Musk want to lose? What plans does the V.A. have for attracting and training their replacements? How quickly can he do it?
The Social Security Administration has more than 59,000 employees. Does Musk know which ones are essential to operations and unusually difficult to replace? One likely outcome of this scheme is that a lot of talented people who work in nonpolitical jobs and could make more elsewhere take the lengthy vacation and leave government services in tatters. Twitter worked poorly after Musk’s takeover, with more frequent outages and bugs, but its outages are not a national scandal. When V.A. health care degrades, it is. To have sprung this attack on the civil service so loudly and publicly and brazenly is to be assured of the blame if anything goes wrong.
What Trump wants you to see in all this activity is command. What is really in all this activity is chaos. They do not have some secret reservoir of focus and attention the rest of us do not. They have convinced themselves that speed and force is a strategy unto itself — that it is, in a sense, a replacement for a real strategy. Don’t believe them.
I had a conversation a couple months ago with someone who knows how the federal government works about as well as anyone alive. I asked him what would worry him most if he saw Trump doing it. What he told me is that he would worry most if Trump went slowly. If he began his term by doing things that made him more popular and made his opposition weaker and more confused. If he tried to build strength for the midterms while slowly expanding his powers and chipping away at the deep state where it was weakest.
But he didn’t. And so the opposition to Trump, which seemed so listless after the election, is beginning to rouse itself.
There is a subreddit for federal employees where one of the top posts reads: “This non ‘buyout’ really seems to have backfired. I’ll be honest, before that email went out, I was looking for any way to get out of this fresh hell. But now I am fired up to make these goons as frustrated as possible.” As I write this, it’s been upvoted more than 39,000 times and civil servant after civil servant is echoing the initial sentiment.
In Iowa this week, Democrats flipped a State Senate seat in a district that Trump won easily in 2024. The attempted spending freeze gave Democrats their voice back, as they zeroed in on the popular programs Trump had imperiled. Trump isn’t building support; he’s losing it. Trump isn’t fracturing his opposition; he’s uniting it.
This is the weakness of the strategy that Bannon proposed and Trump is following. It is a strategy that forces you into overreach. To keep the zone flooded, you have to keep acting, keep moving, keep creating new cycles of outrage or fear. You overwhelm yourself. And there’s only so much you can do through executive orders. Soon enough, you have to go beyond what you can actually do. And when you do that, you either trigger a constitutional crisis or you reveal your own weakness.
Trump may not see his own fork in the road coming. He may believe he has the power he is claiming. That would be a mistake on his part — a self-deception that could doom his presidency. But the real threat is if he persuades the rest of us to believe he has power he does not have.
The first two weeks of Trump’s presidency have not shown his strength. He is trying to overwhelm you. He is trying to keep you off-balance. He is trying to persuade you of something that isn’t true. Don’t believe him.
You can listen to this conversation by following “The Ezra Klein Show” on NYT Audio App, Apple, Spotify, Amazon Music, YouTube, iHeartRadio or wherever you get your podcasts. View a list of book recommendations from our guests here.
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i’ve been thinking a lot about that article that interviewed these rich white 19-20 year old kids who voted for trump and how so many of them said they did it because they were tired of being told what they couldn’t say and wanted to be able to make offensive jokes again. the world we live in is so individualistic and devalues empathy to such an insane degree.
so it’s like, do i think every player who went to the white house is a trump supporter who voted for him? no, probably not. but the league is, by a vast majority, full of rich white men who likely grew up in rich white communities in a sport that devalues empathy and places so much weight on tradition. so they don’t care. going to meet the president is part of the experience of winning the stanley cup and they want the full traditional experience and they don’t care about the current political climate or what being photographed smiling and thanking trump for his time is going to look or feel like to the people who are actually effected the most by what he’s done and what he’s threatening to do. they don’t care. they want to do the fun thing they earned for playing hockey good. it’s just depressing.
and like to be clear this isn’t a way of removing agency from these guys. lots of people grew up in environments like them and managed to break free of those ingrained messages and care about other people. most of these guys just don’t want to. they don’t want to think about politics beyond whether they’ll get fired for saying slurs and if they have to wear rainbow jerseys one night a year. is every player who didn’t use pride tape after travis dermott did homophobic? no. they just don’t care enough.
which is i guess sort of the problem with sports fandom, and something we have to sit with whenever these situations happen. these are real people. they’re not characters on a show who have plot lines and character arcs. and people are often disappointing.
i don’t know if i’m going anywhere with this. i guess maybe i’d like to remind us all to be kind to each other. to be empathetic. we’ve all got our different lines in the sand for what makes players persona non gratas to us and trying to use that as a gotcha for fandom beef can only really come back to bite us. what am i gonna say to a matthew tkachuck fan when sidney crosby did the same thing when the pens won in 2017? id like to think the players i support would be different but realistically they probably wouldn’t. florida fans and tkachuk fans are in the spot they’re in because their team won the cup, not because the team and players are uniquely more evil or more trump-supporting than anyone else. i don’t want to gotcha anyone. we’re all out here trying to have fun in our sandboxes in a world where empathy is a weakness and people who really matter to us disappoint and hurt us, sometimes just by not caring at all.
anyway. i try not to get into real life stuff too much on here and this will likely be the last i say on the subject. love you guys & i hope the world is kinder to us all soon
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i love him on purpose
for @steddielovemonth using red, white, and royal blue for inspiration
rated t | 1385 words | cw: forced coming out | tags: established relationship, secret relationship, royal steve harrington, wayne munson is the president (god i wish)
🔴⚪🔵🔴⚪🔵🔴⚪🔵🔴⚪🔵🔴⚪🔵
The news broke in the middle of the night, long after Eddie had fallen asleep, and just before Steve’s alarm woke him up.
PRINCE STEVEN CAUGHT HOOKING UP WITH FIRST SON EDDIE, ROYAL FAMILY INSISTS ON SECRECY
Every headline is some variation of Steve and Eddie being caught, but there’s no photos. Most articles point to the royal family not wanting to allow it, but they didn’t even know about it.
Steve’s been so careful, much more careful than Eddie. Eddie’s told his best friends and Wayne, who deserves to know when his nephew turned son is getting into things. Especially when the thing he’s getting into is the Prince of England.
Steve doesn’t really have many friends. He has Robin, who is more like a sister to him, and an entire advisory team, publicists, security…
He won’t answer his phone, which means all of those people have probably informed him he is to have no contact with the outside world until they figure out what to do. Eddie doesn’t know what to do.
They talked about hypotheticals, as any young adults in the public eye are wont to do. How they’d handle the press when they come out. How they would handle Steve’s family when they come out.
All under the assumption that they would have control over their coming out.
How naive.
“Ed. I have to give some kind of message here,” Wayne says softly, gently like he knows that Eddie is gonna beg him not to say anything until he hears from Steve. “Silence ain’t gonna win us any favors.”
“I promised he wouldn’t have to do this alone,” Eddie says. “If we make a statement now, I’m just throwing him to the wolves.”
“Not necessarily. Plenty of options with what to say. As long as we acknowledge we’ve seen it, they don’t have to have any other information,” Wayne says. “I’ll follow your lead, kid.”
“I don’t know what the right thing is.”
Wayne pulls him into a hug. This isn’t the first time they’ve had a PR nightmare on their hands, and probably won’t be the last. Wayne’s always been good at handling things just fine.
But this is something Eddie needs to handle. He accepts the comforting hug, then he decides to be brave.
****
“Forcing anyone to come out is disgusting, and the media has done it time and time again. In this case, they took something that should have been up to me, and up to Prince Steve, and made it world news based on a false report of someone seeing us together at an event. Whether we are together romantically or not isn’t up for speculation. We are what we are. We choose how to define that to ourselves, to our loved ones, and maybe someday, to everyone.” Eddie takes a deep breath and looks into the many cameras facing him, trying his best to ignore the reporters anxiously waiting to be able to ask questions. He’s not letting them, but they don’t know that yet. “Respect goes both ways. Pops has always taught me that respect is earned, not freely given. No one in this press room has earned my respect. Until you do, the only news story you can break about me is that I’m disappointed in the way the media has handled this news story. Thanks for your time.”
Eddie leaves the room.
Wayne is waiting for him in his office.
“Proud of ya, son.”
“Thanks.”
“Your boy will be here in four hours.”
Eddie’s jaw drops. “He called?”
“He did more than call. He caused a scene with every secretary in the building. He insisted he needed to speak to me.”
“He could’ve called me,” Eddie is pacing.
“You left your phone in here earlier, remember? He was desperate.”
“Is he okay? Have they made a statement yet?”
“They haven’t. They wanted to see what we’d do first.” Wayne holds Eddie’s phone out to him. “But I think he could stand to hear from ya.”
Eddie steps in to take the phone from him, but Wayne clasps his hand between his, holding tight.
“I can’t protect you from the media forever, but I’ll always stick up for you and your happiness. You know that?”
“Of course I do,” Eddie answers.
“That goes for your Prince, too,” Wayne smirks. “His family’s on thin ice, though.”
****
Eddie talks to Steve on the phone for a few minutes, but Steve’s not alone, and Eddie’s trying not to hide away entirely from everyone who cares about him. It’s a short conversation, but it’s enough to get them through until Steve arrives.
He sounds like he’s being stoic.
Eddie knows he’s struggling.
It takes nearly two hours of security for Steve to actually get to Eddie’s suite.
“Baby,” Eddie says as he pulls Steve into his chest, feeling whole for the first time since he woke up. “It’s okay. It’s all gonna be okay.”
“They’re making a statement any minute now,” Steve says miserably.
“I’m guessing it’s not what you wanted.” Steve shakes his head in response. “That’s okay. We can work with whatever we need to.”
“They wouldn’t let me do it,” Steve explains. “I wanted to do something like what you did. They said I was too emotional.”
“I think you’re just emotional enough. God forbid you show signs of being a human.”
Steve laughs. Eddie smiles.
“Have you eaten? Do you wanna get cleaned up? I know you hate how airplanes make you feel,” Eddie offers.
Steve tightens his grip around Eddie. That’s answer enough.
****
“We sincerely hope the media will understand that making accusations of this nature about a member of the royal family will not go unpunished. Whether it is true or not, we will be handling this discussion internally. We have contacted the President’s office to have a discussion with their team. Eddie’s statement today was not discussed with us beforehand, nor did it go through any of our approval, and should not be seen as our official statement.”
“Does your grandfather always look like someone pissed directly in his eye?” Eddie asks Steve as they watch the official statement from his room.
“It depends on which of us has displeased him,” Steve laughs. “If it’s my mother, his lip curls up over his teeth.”
Eddie pulls Steve into his side on the couch, turning off the television so they can have some peace. They sit in the silence for a couple of minutes, something neither of them get to do very often.
“Wayne offered us the house in Indiana for a bit. Said it might be nice for us to just be away from the chaos,” Eddie runs his fingers up and down Steve’s arm, smiling to himself when Steve shivers against him. “At least for a few days. Let the media move on and give time for your family to get the sticks surgically removed from their asses.”
“That sounds nice,” Steve agrees, leaning his head back to kiss Eddie’s lips. “I wanna do something first, though.”
Steve pulls away so he can get his phone from the coffee table. It’s been on silent and face down since he arrived. He types for a minute, and Eddie waits.
Steve sets his phone down and turns back to Eddie with a grin.
“Okay, ready to go.”
Eddie’s phone goes off in his pocket. He pulls it out and looks down at where he’s been tagged on Instagram in Steve’s post.
It’s a picture from the trip they took with Wayne to Indiana last month, the two of them by a fire with melted marshmallow all over their lips. They’re both happy.
The caption makes tears pool in Eddie’s eyes and a semi-hysterical laugh burst from his throat.
Doesn’t matter who pissed in his eye, as long as I’ve got you. Let’s go off the grid, baby
“You’re gonna be in so much fuckin’ trouble, baby,” Eddie laughs with disbelief.
“I don’t care. They know better than to cause a bigger scene.” Steve kisses the corner of his mouth. “Can we go to that diner when we get there? The one with the burger that have cheese inside the meat?”
“How American of you,” Eddie teases. “I’ll make sure Wayne calls Benny ahead of time so he knows we’re on our way.”
#steddie#steve harrington#eddie munson#stranger things#steddielovemonth#based on red white and royal blue#established relationship#secret relationship#royal steve harrington#wayne munson
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Ghost Filbrick AU
So a few weeks ago I was in the group chat and I pitched an idea for a fic (not writing it anytime soon, I have enough projects on my plate for now!) and it’s about the Pines family visiting Ma Pines before she moves to an assisted care facility. Main idea is that Dipper and Mabel meet Filbrick’s ghost who is trying to hinder the move, and the family trying to get him to move on. Lots of family drama ensues.
I wrote like, a scrap of a script draft for it if y’all wanna read it below:
(Scene: The grown ups, including CARYN, STAN, FORD and COOPER, MABEL & DIPPER’s dad, are all up playing cards. CARYN pulls out the Tarot Deck)
Caryn: I call this one “Last Man Standing!” You put down a card and the other player has to put down either the same suit or card number. If someone plays a major arcana card like wheel of fortune or the star, they can switch up the minor arcana suit. If you play death or the tower, the other players draw four. Whoever has zero cards wins!
Dad Pines: Grandma I think you just reverse engineered Uno
Stan: Dad wouldn’t buy us more than one card deck, so we made due with Ma’s tarot.
Ford: I thought it was to keep you from cheating the deck
Caryn: Both things could be true! Now hush.
Stan: … Coop is everything all right with Dipper? It’s not my business but… he seemed pretty cagey with ya earlier.
Caryn: Cagey? The kid stormed out of the room in the middle of dinner! Granted it was *my* cooking, so I can’t really hold a grudge on that front. (*plays a card*) That’s The Fool, so we’re reversing direction.
Ford: … It just doesn’t seem like him.
Coop: … that’s been the norm lately, I’m afraid. I don’t think he’s handling the divorce well, with me moving out and I just haven’t been around as much since then.
Ford: Mabel told us in one of her letters you were in family therapy together?
Coop: We’ve had a few sessions, yes. She loved it, got along great with our counselor. I think she asked a few times about becoming a therapist someday! But Dipper doesn’t really participate much during the sessions. He just sulks in the corner, like he doesn’t want to be there at all.
Stan: He’ll get over it. He’s stubborn, but not the type to hold a grudge.
Ford: I can’t imagine any of this is easy for any of you.
Coop: Weirdly enough, me and Annie— uh, Annie and *I*— have gotten on better than ever. Divorce was the best thing to happen to our relationship, it’s like we’re finally friends again?
Stan: Divorce ain’t so bad, I’ve done it at least six times now!
Caryn: I thought about divorcing your father, but he died before I got around to it. Suit change.
Ford: when did Dad pass?
Stan: … ‘97.
Ford: … I see. (*silence*)
Caryn: … Let’s not talk about funerals right now. God knows I’ve been to enough of ‘em. I’m just glad one of ‘em didn’t count. (*pinches Stan’s cheek.*)
Stan: … me too, Ma.
Ford: … Last Man Standing
Stan: Like hell you are, you shit, draw four!
Ford: … that’s not the tower, that’s a Stan Buck!
Caryn: Don’t tell me you’re still making Stan Bucks! You know damn well that’s not how money works!
(This next part is self indulgent and idk if I’ll include it in the fic proper)
Caryn: Now Stanford… let me ask you a question. Why the hell have you been hiding your left hand in your pocket all night?
Ford:…. I don’t know what you mean— HEY!
(Caryn pulls his hand out of his pocket, examines his second ring finger)
Caryn: Stanford Filbrick why does it look like you have a wedding band on your finger?
Ford: …. (*sighs*) because I have a wedding band on my finger.
Caryn: AHA! Here we are moping about death and divorce and you sit on good news like that! Who is she? Who’s your wife? Where’d you meet her, what’s her family like, what does she do?
Ford:… I don’t have a wife. I have a husband.
Stan: The guy used to live in the dump and now he’s a millionaire inventor running for president.
Caryn: You married McGucket?! Me and the girls canvassed for him this year! Wait till I tell that Janine, that’ll get her to pipe down about her Chiropractor Son-In-Law for once!
Coop: I really like his policies on infrastructure, very forward thinking!
Stan: Eh, I’m voting third party. Nothing personal, I just don’t want a brother in law who’s commander in chief. It would make thanksgiving a nightmare.
Ford: You’re a felon, you can’t vote at all.
Stan: That hasn’t stopped me in thirty years!
Ford: So Ma, you’re… fine with—
Caryn: Sweetie, until this morning I thought two of my sons were dead and one cut all ties. I figured I deserved it. Sitting back while your Father gave you all grief for nothin. I told myself if I ever saw you again I’d take you as is, and I meant it.
#gravity falls#pines family#stan pines#ford pines#dipper pines#mabel pines#ma pines#Caryn Romanoff Pines#filbrick pines#fiddauthor#book of bill
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Ok so I know we all wish there was more reaction in canon to the revelation of Dazai’s past. But I think there’s more of a reaction than people realize. It’s like the entire dynamic shifts after the meeting with the mafia. And it’s easy to attribute this to things getting more serious, more dangerous, because no one mentions Dazai being the reason for it. But I think it’s important to understand about these characters that the not saying anything is extremely indicative of their feelings on the matter. I think the tension is mostly glossed over because at the end of the day this is still Atsushi’s story and he’s kinda oblivious to it. But Dazai and Kunikida aren’t really partners after that, their interactions go way down, their banter is no longer a staple of the series. And Dazai wasn’t really close enough with anyone else to see major changes in his relationships with them, but we can guess based on what we do know.
For one thing, anyone thinking Fukuzawa already knew, sorry to burst your bubble but Taneda didn’t tell him jack. In fact Dazai made up a story about randomly meeting him at a bar and Taneda offering to find him a job if he won a bet or something. Dazai lied to Fukuzawa just as much as anyone else, he had elaborate cover stories. Fukuzawa told Kunikida to shoot him if he showed a hint of malicious intent but Dazai managed to worm his way out of that disguising it as his solution to the case/a suicide attempt. He pretended to be the bad guy to put on a show for the people listening in, and create an excuse for the listening device to be destroyed and gave Kunikida enough hints that he’d think twice about actually shooting him and pretended he wanted him to do it. It’s a very masterfully done scheme really, because Kunikida was so wrapped up in how it affected the case that he miss took Dazai’s innocence in the case for a lack of hidden evil. Kunikida definitely saw a side of Dazai that would make the President say “shoot him” but he didn’t even realize it because it was connected to solving the case. And when he lists off all the things he has problems with about Dazai it’s all about his unprofessional behavior and laziness and he doesn’t even mention that Dazai was so incredibly good at playing the bad guy that it didn’t feel fake. He didn’t mention the chilling aura. Dazai distracted him with all his other bad behavior.
But Ranpo must have known right? Well he certainly knew something was off about Dazai immediately after meeting him even without putting his glasses on. But I don’t think even he could have deduced Dazai’s past with the information he had. Because you have to remember that Dazai’s crimes were erased by Mushitaro’s ability and that Ranpo specializes in understanding crime scenes, not psychological profiling. Ranpo uses physical evidence for the most part and he needs knowledge of the crime to find the perpetrator. I don’t think it works the other way around. Not to mention that Fukuzawa trusts Kunikida and Kunikida said Dazai passed his entrance exam so Ranpo probably didn’t choose to look too closely at Dazai.
Anyway, the point is no one at the agency knew Dazai was in the mafia until the Guild arc. And Dazai’s interactions with the rest of the agency changed after that revelation. I think only Atsushi, Kyouka, and Kenji don’t change how they see him, because Atsushi is Atsushi, Kyouka probably already knew from when she captured him and his pep talk made her more comfortable with the idea, and Kenji is Kenji. Everyone else though? It’s a shock. And a lot of them probably just don’t know how to handle it. It helps that they got Kyouka around the same time it was revealed but Dazai had been lying to all their faces for two years at that point and he showed absolutely no remorse for that. Dazai doesn’t make a big deal of it, doesn’t try to make excuses for himself, doesn’t try to justify anything. Without him starting the conversation none of them have a way to comfortably bring up the subject. And because none of them (except Kenji) knows how to communicate in a healthy way, they just end up stewing with the information without fully processing it or acknowledging it. They’re stuck in this limbo of doubt and discomfort. It’s actually incredibly nuanced and I bet it’s all going to come to a head at some point in the near future and it’s going to be that much more satisfying for the wait.
#bsd#bungou stray dogs#dazai osamu#bsd dazai#analysis#character analysis#bsd analysis#armed detective agency#bsd ada#kunikida doppo#fukuzawa yukichi#ranpo edogawa#kyouka izumi#atsushi nakajima
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do i vote for the good of the islanders, or do i vote for the he he ho ho’s?
#inside me are two wolves#one wants a president that will get things done#one just wants a silly little guy to fuck shit up#bc how funny would it be for gegg to geggify the federation#itd be so fucking funny#qsmp#qsmp elections
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so anyway france news nobody cares about
SO remember in summer when our president suddenly decided ''ehhh fuck our current government line-up let's start over let's have a vote" for no reason and leftist parties united to have better odds of beating the right and they won so the president was supposed to pick a prime minister from the left
and then he didn't and he picked Some Rightie that nobody had heard about in decades Anyway yeah that new government might get voted out again With potentially our president having to resign too
#tldr president didn't give a fuck about democracy did things his own way despite the people's choice and it's backfiring severely#so now we might end up without a government Again even tho our current one is like. 4 months old.#his whole excuse for picking a rightie as PM was “if i pick a leftie the other parties will never agree with him & nothing will get done :(”#and Lo And Behold nothing's getting done anyway in fact the entire government is on hold and Might collapse at any moment#so shit's going great hey#all because like. new PM's proposal for the country's budgeting was Shit Everyone Hated like#the right hated it for being too harsh on rich people and companies the left hated it for Not being harsh enough on rich people & companies#somehow both sides came to the agreement ''fuck the PM and his stupid budget'' but he was like. you activated my trap card#so in france there's this thing governments can do called 49.3 where. whatever they want to sign into law Will be signed into law#even if nobody agrees with it like usually all the government members are supposed to have a vote for these things#but with 49.3 it's like. nah no vote Fuck all of y'all i'm the PM i do what i want#so PM did that and then both the left and right went. Fine! we're voting to kick you out lmao#and the president might get caught in his fall for nominating him in the first place when he wasn't supposed to
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.
#i'm done i'm so fucking tired#i want to burn the internet to the ground#i want to destroy my computer chuck my phone into a river and go live in the middle of nowhere#no wifi no 4g no nothing#i want to die because we cannot fucking escape this shit#meta using my art to train ai and refusing my request to stop#my computer not being able to run glaze or nightshade or any of those ai poisoning thingies#spam emails and text messages and whatsapp messages and bots in the comments#and just EVERYTHING TRYING TO SELL ME THINGS WHILE ALSO STEALING WHAT'S ALREADY MINE#i hate it i hate it i can't fucking stand it anymore#and you'll be like ''then why don't you go offline then... nobody's making you have an instagram account''#and you'd be right... if it weren't for the fact that i chose the one fucking career that DEMANDS online presence#i already struggle to find work as an illustrator WITH social media and POSTING MY ART ONLINE#how the fuck would I do it if people don't see my art?!#and sure people have illustrated books way before the internet existed... sure... BUT IT DOESN'T WORK LIKE THAT ANYMORE#i'm so fucking angry and tired and frustrated that there's no way out of this#the internet is becoming unusable yet life demands it#my only option right now it to fuck myself and my beliefs and let companies steal my hardwork for the benefit of..?#having no notes in my posts except for the bots commenting ''see 👀my hole 🍑 daddy 💦 kitten 😻 ready 4 u 🤤 subscribe🔥 pay 💲 me''#i'm sick of this#i don't want to delete everything i ever posted online because A. at this point that's useless and B. again. how the fuck would i get work?#also even then... emailing my clients their finished illustrations goes through google drive or gmail...#do we think google is nice and doesn't steal images to train generative AI?#''talk to your representatives they need to make laws about this'' my fucking president is currently chumming it up with elon fucking musk#while people here are starving to death#we're literally going to freeze this winter because the genius goverment has fucked up our gas supply and that's used not only for heating#but for ELECTRICITY PRODUCTION#so we won't have a wat to heat our houses cook or even fucking SEE AT NIGHT#and you want me to ask them to make copyright laws?!#i want to die
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This type of shit makes me want to kill myself man
#Like#why#I get some people don’t agree with lgbt and some people are just racist#but can’t we just live cohesively#why does everyone have to be cishet Christian#Why can’t people just exist as themselves#America was supposed to be the country of freedoms#It’s supposed to be known for its religious freedom#Like I am Christian and I think this is crazy#A lot of people got arrested yesterday and today simply for being lgbt; poc; or because they’ve had an abortion#why can’t we just live and let live#No one has to agree with anything they don’t want to agree with#but forcing other people to conform to your ideology is not how things should be done ffs#⏱️-+*#🎞️-+*#Literally anyone other than Trump would have been better#Idc republican or democratic#Anyone who wouldn’t have put p2025 into play#See he even lied(shocker.)#During the election he claimed to have nothing to do with p2025#He’s been proven time and time again to be a liar and so many people didn’t listen or learn from past mistakes#Now he possibly has the power to unfairly appoint people as president after him or even be president past the eight years#He’s taken down government official websites including ones on women’s rights and ones related to healthcare#He also took the constitution off the web/official government website. 😐#I’m sincerely hoping he doesn’t take the right of elections away and that we can escape him and his ideologies someday.#But I’m not too hopeful.
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i just woke up in the middle of the night, started immediately like catastrophising because that’s just what my brain does. and then, not 30 seconds into it, the concept of Jay Ferin was inserted into my mind. i instantly felt better. she’s like my guardian angel <3
#kicks my feet like an anime school girl#jayyy <3 love herrr <3#ok i back to sleep now#i just thought to share that cause it’s very funny to me :]#i would like to emphasize that the last part is a joke but also not because wow girly just ‘get down mr president’ed me#except the bullet is the crippling feeling of impending doom and the president is me#which is crazy because i would never ever want to be the president i mean truly FUCK that but whatever#lmao okay but nice to know my brain still loves my pirates :]#i’ve been very very focused only on reading Worm and a few other books that i haven’t even watched Judgement yet :(#which isn’t a bad thing cause i loveeee worm sooo much and there’s nothing saying i have to watch the episode immediately upon its upload#but still man idk i think jays losing steam with keeping my anxiety back#she’s only one girl </3#a very lovely girl that i adore! but only one nontheless#though i’m sure there are people on here that would disagree hehehe#ok cal go to sleep now#baiiiii everyone :3#see you all tomorrow where i will have a very rough school day and then watch jrwi and everything will be sunshine and rainbows again#late night rambles are done for now :]#over the hills
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everyone jumping to team kamala we will never experience true freedom in this country
#the democrats would vote for fucking hitler if he was a nice guy im convinced#allow me to break down this silly little “you can't focus on morals people's lives are at risk we have to vote blue to stop trump!!!” thing#first of all people's livelihoods are still at risk even when there is a democrat as president#did you forget about the immigration bill biden and harris signed? or you know a fucking genocide#and if people's livelihoods are at risk then shouldnt we vote with out morals? and you know not for the dems who are famously pro genocide#what is the point of voting if you can't vote for who you actually believe in?#and besides this what in this country was actually accomplished through voting? 99% of the progress made was done through violent resistanc#the only reason shit even made the ballot was because people showed they wouldn't accept things the way they are#which is exactly what you are doing if you vote for kamala harris AKA BIDEN'S FUCKING RIGHT HAND MAN#and you just sound like an extremely selfish person if genocide is not your red line#it just sounds like youre saying “yes they murdered palestinians in gaza :( BUT WHAT ABOUT US AMERICANS!!!!”#as if the democratic party has done anything to protect americans anyways. like my job as a voter is not to get the democrats elected#to mitigate damage caused by republicans. that is the fucking democrats job. it is their job to make me want to vote for them#and until they stop massacring men women and children in gaza they will never get my vote#the democrats could openly announce themselves as extreme bigots towards anyone that isn't a cishet rich white man (which they have before)#and you stupid asses will still tell us to vote for them. how evil do they have to be for you to finally consider another option?#and everyone else in the world gets to have other options but america noooo in america we can only have two parties or else you die#and when a democrat is elected and they send another 1 billion to israel i hope youre prepared to live with the blood on your hands#YOU WANTED THIS YOU ENABLED THIS YOU VOTED FOR THIS#the reality you won't face is that there are more options and you could vote for them but none of you are willing to take that risk#yet youre willing to risk the lives of palestinians the lives of transwoman the lives of every person that bitch threw into prison#you people are so hooked on stopping trump (the democrats meaner twin) youre willing to sacrifice everything you stand for#to elect someone who is just as bad as him but is “polite” while they do it. the democrats will never feel pressure to shift to the left#as long as you idiots continue to accept their move to the right. why should they stop the genocide in palestine when youve proven#you'd vote for them no matter what?#no one’s life improved from trump to biden and the same will be true for kamala but you can keep telling yourself they aren’t the same#i’ll be voting green bc that is what i believe in inshallah you grow a spine and do the same until we’re free from these two satanic partie#and dont tell us youll protest after she's elected what would the point be???#youve shown you'd put her in power no matter why should she respond to the pressure?
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my brain feels like mush
#i just wanted to spend the day writing before my shift but i'm second guessing everything and can't commit to a single fic#like i want to finish grieving but i'm in such a bad headspace about it#but i also feel bad working on anything else when that should be my priority since it's already published 4/5 chaps#and i don't want to keep the five people who actually care about it waiting#and then i have one chapter of a new fic ready to publish but i don't want to start that either#and then sugar daddy!ice is like 1/2 finished for ch 1 but . i can't find the energy to work on it#and to top it all off i'm running an orientation at work today#which i've never done and have gotten no instruction for#and i have a terrible feeling that the people who were supposed to do things to get it ready for me absolutely dropped the ball#AND it's presidents day so all of HR is ooo so . pretty positive i can't even do half of what i need to do with these newhires#so i woke up at 3am stressing about that#SEE!!! MUSH BRAIN!!#katie text
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Okay, so the new hunger games is so bad actually i mean i knew it would be trash but this is just sad
#like there was potential!! i see what they were going for but it was so badly done like i could write an entire paper about it#the whole ppint of the hunger games is so cheapened in this every scene where you're supose to get the gut punch is so drab like this#movie is way too concerned with showing you easter eggs of the previous ones that it completely loses itself in it#and president snow.....uh#instead of showing him as a stone cold power hungry man that could've struggled with this new feelings of emapthy and love and how#ultimately it's a harsh world in which he chooses to be a victor at any cost esp woth the whole war history we get him as a sweetheart#who wants to help his family but also cares for other but not rlly but actually does and falls for the girl but betrayes his friends but he#loves him but but but and it's just all too weak like they tried but faild in depicting it right like you could've done something great wit#this and you got us another marvel/dc like bullshit there's no real feelings in this movie it's all so fake and try hard#where's the ruthlessness the cruelty there's nothing we haven't seen before actually it's a complete mish mash of those 4 movies not a#original thought in sight it's so bad i just had to rant#bc there's so many stupid things and plot holes if i can rewrite the cript better then you know how bad it is and also why is this so long?#it never ends it just keeps going you can't even feel current events bc they just skip onto the next one#bad work!
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Look.
I have made you a chart. A very simple chart.
People say "You have to draw the line somewhere, and Biden has crossed it-" and my response is "Trump has crossed way more lines than Biden".
These categories are based off of actual policy enacted by both of these men while they were in office.
If the ONLY LINE YOU CARE ABOUT is line 12, you have an incredible amount of privilege, AND YOU DO NOT CARE ABOUT PALESTINIANS. You obviously have nothing to fear from a Trump presidency, and you do not give a fuck if a ceasefire actually occurs. You are obviously fine if your queer, disabled, and marginalized loved ones are hurt. You clearly don't care about the status of American democracy, which Trump has openly stated he plans to destroy on day 1 he is in office.
EDIT:
Ok fine, I spent 3 hours compiling sources for all of these, you can find that below the cut.
I'll give at least one link per subject area. There are of course many more sources to be read on these subject areas and no post could possibly give someone a full education on these subjects.
Biden and trans rights: https://www.hrc.org/resources/president-bidens-pro-lgbtq-timeline
Trump and trans rights: https://www.aclu.org/news/lgbtq-rights/trump-on-lgbtq-rights-rolling-back-protections-and-criminalizing-gender-nonconformity
The two sources above show how Biden has done a lot of work to promote trans rights, and how Trump did a lot of work to hurt trans rights.
Biden on abortion access: https://www.cnn.com/2022/07/08/politics/what-is-in-biden-abortion-executive-order/index.html
Trump on abortion access: https://apnews.com/article/abortion-trump-republican-presidential-election-2024-585faf025a1416d13d2fbc23da8d8637
Biden openly supports access to abortion and has taken steps to protect those rights at a federal level even after Roe v Wade was overturned. Trump, on the other hand, was the man who appointed the judges who helped overturn Roe v Wade and he openly brags about how proud he is of that decision. He also states that he believes individual states should have the final say in whether or not abortion is legal, and that he trusts them to "do the right thing", meaning he supports stronger abortion bans.
Biden on environmental reform: https://www.whitehouse.gov/briefing-room/statements-releases/2021/10/07/fact-sheet-president-biden-restores-protections-for-three-national-monuments-and-renews-american-leadership-to-steward-lands-waters-and-cultural-resources/
Trump on environmental reform: https://www.nytimes.com/interactive/2020/climate/trump-environment-rollbacks-list.html
Biden has made major steps forward for environmental reform. He has restored protections that Trump rolled back. He has enacted many executive orders and more to promote environmental protections, including rejoining the Paris Accords, which Trump withdrew the USA from. Trump is also well known for spreading conspiracy theories and lies about global climate change, calling it a "Chinese hoax".
Biden on healthcare and prescription reform: https://www.hhs.gov/about/news/2023/06/09/biden-administration-announces-savings-43-prescription-drugs-part-cost-saving-measures-president-bidens-inflation-reduction-act.html
Trump on healthcare reform: https://www.cnn.com/2024/01/07/politics/obamacare-health-insurance-ending-trump/index.html
I'm rolling healthcare and prescriptions and vaccines and public health all into one category here since they are related. Biden has lowered drug costs, expanded access to medicaid, and ACA enrollment has risen during his presidency. He has also made it so medical debt no longer applies to a person's credit score. He signed many executive orders during his first few weeks in office in order to get a handle on Trump's grievous mishandling of the COVID pandemic. Trump also wants to end the ACA. Trump is well known for refusing to wear a mask during the pandemic, encouraging the use of hydroxylchloroquine to "treat" COVID, and being openly anti-vaxx.
Biden on student loan forgiveness: https://www.ed.gov/news/press-releases/biden-harris-administration-announces-additional-77-billion-approved-student-debt-relief-160000-borrowers
Trump on student loan forgiveness: https://www.forbes.com/sites/adamminsky/2024/06/20/trump-knocks-bidens-vile-student-loan-forgiveness-plans-suggests-reversal/
Trump wants to reverse the student loan forgiveness plans Biden has enacted. Biden has already forgiven billions of dollars in loans and continues to work towards forgiving more.
Infrastructure funding:
I'm putting these links next together because they are all about infrastructure.
In general, Trump's "achievements" for infrastructure were to destroy environmental protections to speed up projects. Many of his plans were ineffective due to the fact that he did not clearly outline where the money was going to come from, and he was unwilling to raise taxes to pay for the projects. He was unable (and unwilling) to pass a bipartisan infrastructure bill during his 4 years in office. He did sign a few disaster relief bills. He did not enthusiastically promote renewable energy infrastructure. He created "Infrastructure Weeks" that the federal government then failed to fund. Trump did not do nothing for infrastructure, but his no-tax stance and his dislike for renewable energy means the contributions he made to American infrastructure were not as much as he claimed they were, nor as much as they could have been. Basically, he made a lot of promises, and delivered on very few of them. He is not "against" infrastructure, but he's certainly against funding it.
Biden was able to pass that bipartisan bill after taking office. The Bipartisan Infrastructure Plan that Trump tried to prevent from passing during Biden's term contains concrete funding sources and step by step plans to rebuild America's infrastructure. If you want to read the plan, you can find it here: https://www.whitehouse.gov/build/guidebook/. Biden has done far more for American infrastructure than Trump did, most notably by actually getting the bipartisan bill through congress.
Biden on Racial Equity: https://www.npr.org/sections/president-biden-takes-office/2021/01/26/960725707/biden-aims-to-advance-racial-equity-with-executive-actions
Trump on Racial Equity: https://www.axios.com/2024/04/01/trump-reverse-racism-civil-rights https://www.bbc.com/news/av/world-us-canada-37230916
Trump's racist policies are loud and clear for everyone to hear. We all heard him call Mexicans "Drug dealers, criminals, rapists". We all watched as he enacted travel bans on people from majority-Muslim nations. Biden, on the other hand, has done quite a lot during his term to attempt to reconcile racism in this country, including reversing Trump's "Muslim ban" the first day he was in office.
Biden on DEI: https://www.whitehouse.gov/briefing-room/presidential-actions/2021/06/25/executive-order-on-diversity-equity-inclusion-and-accessibility-in-the-federal-workforce/
Trump on DEI: https://www.msn.com/en-us/news/politics/trump-tried-to-crush-the-dei-revolution-heres-how-he-might-finish-the-job/ar-BB1jg3gz
Biden supports DEI and has signed executive orders and passed laws that support DEI on the federal level. Trump absolutely hates DEI and wants to eradicate it.
Biden on criminal justice reform: https://time.com/6155084/biden-criminal-justice-reform/
Trump on criminal justice reform: https://www.vox.com/2020-presidential-election/21418911/donald-trump-crime-criminal-justice-policy-record https://www.theatlantic.com/politics/archive/2024/05/trumps-extreme-plans-crime/678502/
From pardons for non-violent marijuana convictions to reducing the federal government's reliance on private prisons, Biden has done a lot in four years to reform our criminal justice system on the federal level. Meanwhile, Trump has described himself as "tough on crime". He advocates for more policing, including "stop and frisk" activities. Ironically it's actually quite difficult to find sources about what Trump thinks about crime, because almost all of the search results are about his own crimes.
Biden on military support for Israel: https://www.nbcnews.com/politics/national-security/biden-obama-divide-closely-support-israel-rcna127107
Trump on military support for Israel: https://www.vox.com/politics/353037/trump-gaza-israel-protests-biden-election-2024
Biden supports Israel financially and militarily and promotes holding Israel close. So did Trump. Trump was also very pro-Israel during his time in office and even moved the embassy to Jerusalem and declared Jerusalem the capitol of Israel, a move that inflamed attitudes in the region.
Biden on a ceasefire: https://www.usatoday.com/story/news/world/2024/06/05/gaza-israel-hamas-cease-fire-plan-biden/73967659007/
Trump on a ceasefire: https://www.nbcnews.com/politics/donald-trump/trump-israel-gaza-finish-problem-rcna141905
Trump has tried to be quiet on the issue but recently said he wants Israel to "finish the problem". He of course claims he could have prevented the whole problem. Trump also openly stated after Oct 7th that he would bar immigrants who support Hamas from the country and send in officers to American protests to arrest anyone supporting Hamas.
Biden meanwhile has been quietly urging Netanyahu to accept a ceasefire deal for months, including the most recent announcement earlier in June, though it seems as though that deal has finally fallen through as well.
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the curve
somehow ive found myself in a position where folks come to chuck in times of strife for encouragement. lets get the big part of this conversation out of the way LOVE IS STILL REAL and that is the thing to remember. that north star remains. today there is more to talk about though
existence pushes towards love community and freedom, because CREATION is what we were built to do and creation thrives with these things as fuel. IT GETS BETTER. LOVE IS REAL. however this change comes in up and down waves. its not a straight line and should not be expected to be
some of these waves are short and small, and some of the slopes are years or decades long. there is no mincing words here, we are entering a massive downward wave. the implications are huge and it is okay to mourn that. FEEL THOSE FEELINGS. it is an important part of the ride
the most telling sign post on our slope is this: tromp won the popular vote (or likely will when the votes are done). we can talk POLITICAL STRATEGY all day about electoral college or who should court the center or the left and on and on but ultimately THIS is the real story
to me it signals a TRUE cultural shift. likely conservatives will have presidency, senate, house, and supreme court. WHAT A GIANT SLOPE. HOLD THE HECK ON because we will be riding it for a while, deep into the pit of the void. hold your buds tight, prove love at the local level
but heres the thing, MASSIVE waves have happened before. theyll happen again. mind numbing slopes into the abyss and great soaring leaps into the sky. in fact the inertia almost ALWAYS causes them to happen right after each other. hippies or punks back in the day, buckaroos now
politically we were trapped in a basically fifty fifty trot for a long time, but it was not always like this (just look at old election maps what the heck). to be honest, tromps map looks like one of those old maps right now. and DANG did COUNTER MOVEMENTS blooms from those times
in other words, THERE WILL BE A COUNTER CULTURE MOVEMENT THAT WE HAVE NEVER SEEN BEFORE IN OUR LIFETIMES. you are now a rebel for the resistance and the wave that will swing back towards love will awe us in ways we cannot even imagine yet.
but for now, feel those feelings, mourn, prove love, stay safe. do not let the hope i am espousing feel like a distraction from the very real, even deadly consequences of the terrible pit we are plummeting into. it is a horrible day, and FUTURE HOPE does not diminish that, BUT
get ready because that counter culture wave is coming and YOU are a part of it. if you want to shout HECK OFF DEVILS then shout it LOUD, if you want to cry then cry HARD, if you want to love then love with your WHOLE HEART. thats the start of the movement that we dont know yet
when that movement takes shape we will feel the inertia of the curve and it may make us sick from the rollercoaster turn, and that pressure will be uncomfortable and scary, but THEN buckaroo, we will soar, and ill be so dang glad to be holding on tight with you when we do
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Thinking about Edward Elric as the Amestrian Military's specialest little unfireable boy
State alchemists can be fired for underperforming. We know this up front from the likes of Shou Tucker. And this makes a ton of sense from the homunculi's standpoint since the state alchemists are sacrifice candidates, and the homunculi would want to cull the weakest candidates and focus only on cultivating the strongest ones who stand the best chance of opening the portal.
........Then there's Edward. Who's already opened the portal.
There's no need to cultivate him. No gamble taken on whether he's good enough to open the portal. He passed the final test already. Graduated 4 semesters early.
And as such, has a free pass to do Absolute Fuck All.
And I'm imagining how funny this is from like an outside perspective.
Some newish state alchemist who'd only ever read up on the stories of Edward Elric, ready and excited to start their career of being paid handsomely with endless freedom to research and travel and do anything they want in the pursuit of science... surprised and confused to find themselves put on probation their first month for things like "ignoring orders." Which is, as best they had thought, a famous Edward Elric pastime.
Roy showing a slight bit of stress about his yearly state alchemist report, and Ed just snorting and rolling his eyes at Roy because every year HE just hastily does his on the train ride over (canon in the manga, a travesty it was left out of the anime) and it gets rubber stamped. Ed not realizing that other alchemists' reports get genuinely scrutinized and torn apart while Ed is free to turn in whatever absolute bullshit he thinks of 36 hours ahead of time. One year his report was about whether alchemy could be done via dance (conclusion: no it can't) and no one cared. Roy WANTS to tell Ed there's some kind of unknown favoritism around Ed making him literally bullet-proof but Roy has no way to phrase this that doesn't sound like he's just in denial and mad at how good Ed's train-reports are.
Guy from the Internal Amestrian Affairs sector who's responsible for auditing other internal military personel for any suspicious activity hitting about 1 million red flags for Edward Elric, issuing a STRONG and URGENT recommendation to suspend the alchemist pending further investigation into things like "literal bunk-buddies with two members of the Xingese royalty (enemy nation)" and "spent $10,000,000 of his stipend on a librarian to make her re-copy (what he seemed to interpret as?) military records in some extremely transparent effort to unearth state secrets (it was a recipe book but he was literally asking her about state secrets)" and "literally has never once obeyed an order, ever, not even once in his career, and is on public record having said 'I do not care about the goals and protections of the Amestrian Military. I am in fact only pursuing my own interests several of which are diametrically opposed to the safety and well-being of the governing body of Amestris'"
The issued recommendation is intercepted before it even reaches its intended desk. President Bradley himself has taken issue with it and denies it before a single set of eyes has seen it. The President's veto stamp is a terrifying hammer, used rarely, and it is now sitting on the auditor's desk.
The auditor sleeps with one eye open from then on out.
#fma#fullmetal alchemist#fullmetal alchemist: brotherhood#fma:b#literally anything about the dynamic between edward and the amestrian government is so so so funny to me#im begging you to come pick up your alchemist he keeps committing treason#Roy: absolute perfect ass-kisser and career-man playing the part 24/7 to disguise his treasonous ambitions and still#not flying under the radar#Edward on his public Twitter: bored. might tear down the Amestrian government for fun.
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