#one of those good song to fanfic/ship moments and and yeah now it reminds me of this fic everytime i hear it
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xviruserrorx · 1 year ago
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- Dear fellow Traveler by Sea Wolf
For Day 1 of @merlinrarepairfest & based on chapter 1 of my fic The Ingenuous
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bonapaga · 1 year ago
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lol I barely check tumblr, thank you for tagging me tho!!
3 Ships/ First ever ship
The first ship that comes to mind would be AsuShin of course. I haven’t rewatched Eva and I really need to because I think diving into the Eva fanfiction community and reading (genuinely great) fanfic of this ship has like really changed my perception of the show. And I feel like I need to rewatch Eva (and eventually get to the rebuilds too) to get an idea of how all of this connects (and what should be separated too). But yeah, I think I really love this pairing because they just have a lot of fascinating parallels and ways they match and awesome chemistry which is just lovely to see and think about.
I won’t blab as much on the other two…
KyouAnna from The Dangers of my Heart - if you wanna read some stellar rom-com writing, do not miss this manga. It’s amazing how natural these two fit with each other despite how disparate they were in the beginning.
and Haruhi and Kyon - I need to rewatch this too
Last Song
It’s I’m Best Friends with my Own Front Door by Bill Wurtz
I love this song, it reminds me that leaving out and doing things is good. And moving is good, and it’s a good pick me up when I’m leaning towards more depressive feelings.
bill wurtz is so real tho, I love the essence in his songs and lyrics.
Last Movie
The last film I watched was Wild Strawberries (1957), I watched it in my school’s world cinema club. It was a nice, surprisingly wholesome yet mostly introspective look at this old guy’s life and his existential thoughts about it. I don’t know many very old people in my life (aside from my old sociology teacher, who’s such an awesome person) and I like this film for making me think about those people more.
Currently Reading
I’m currently looking at a few things at the moment, it’s one of those times where I can’t get a hold of my interests.
-Otaku and the struggle of imagination in Japan by Patrick Galbraith
really awesome essay book about otaku culture
-Staying Alive poetry collection
-Suite Vénitienne by Sophie Calle
I found this on a desk in my school library and I read it one sitting, which is pretty easy because a lot of it was photographs, but yeah. So the author decides to go to Venice to stalk someone who they briefly met in a party in Paris, just on a whim. It’s pretty cool.
Some other books I barely started but I wanna read more of:
-Stoner by John Williams
-A portrait of the artist as a young man by James Joyce
Also I really need to catch up on my selected reading for school, I’m too deep my own rabbit holes and I need some air.
Currently Watching
Nathan for You - lol what the fuck
re-watching Monogatari - this had been on hold for a long time now lol whoops
Currently Consuming
nothing at the moment, but earlier I bought a pack of those small square brownies (of 20) and one of those packs of apple pies (6) and I ate all of both of them because I can’t effectively control my snacking
lol whoops
I will drink water soon
Currently Craving
copy and paste the previous section except the water part because that’s not something you really crave
lol I don’t really know anyone on Tumblr, except the one who tagged me
I wonder if I’ll use it more
I need to try to sleep soon it’s 6am but I’m not even tired yet oh no
Tag 9 people to get to know better
from @the-world-annealing
3 ships / First ever ship: it's extremely tumblr that this is the first question.
the weird Alucard/Seras/Integra polycule in Hellsing left a permanent impact on me, i think. the loyalty of a weapon, a hound, to its handler.
reimu/yukari as depicted in "Teeth and Claws"
augmented human c4-621/catching a fucking break for once in its life
Last song: Rusted Pride from the AC6 soundtrack. i was talking with @yashkonu about certain AC6 things last night and i just had to listen to it.
Last movie: uhh, probably Across the Spider-Verse? i'm not much of a movie person.
Currently reading: i haven't been reading as much as i'd "like" to, but I really need to finish the Machineries of Empire trilogy by reading Revenant Gun.
Currently watching: re-watching Yuri is My Job! with a friend, and watching 16bit Sensation: Another Layer, the Arknights anime, and
Currently consuming: just had some grape juice :)
Currently craving: really sour really caffeinated energy drinks. shouldn't have one though because if i have both energy drinks and my adhd medication i have an extremely bad time
normally i don't tag forward but i'm trying to be a little more social. no pressure if you don't wanna ofc.
let's say... @yashkonu @such-sweet-entropy @kaiasky @phaeton-flier @twilight-sparkle-irl @abalidoth @oathboundfamiliar @self-loving-vampire @thimbledoll
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reidingandwriting · 4 years ago
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So This is Love...
Word Count: ~1,750 words
Ship: Spencer Reid x Reader
Warnings: Language, mention of ECT (it’s hard to explain out of context, but nothing detailed!!), and awkward!!reader
A/N: Soooo, this is my first Criminal Minds fic!! And my first fanfic in a while but we’re not going to talk about that. I’ve just started binge watching the series and I absolutely fell in love with all of the characters, especially our boy wonder, Dr. Spencer Reid. This fic plays out a bit different than the episode but this takes place during the episode where JJ and Will get married 🤍
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“I now pronounce you man and wife. You may now kiss the bride.” The wedding officiant spoke as he stepped away, and the crowd in Rossi’s backyard began to cheer and clap as JJ and Will finished their ceremony with a kiss. You stood beside Hotch and smiled, your eyes tearful as the duo walked down the aisle formed with hanging lights and flower petals- white roses to be exact. You felt someone’s eyes lingering on you and you glanced over to where Spencer stood. “I’m okay,” you mouthed when you saw the concerned look in his eyes. Spencer’s eyes crinkled as he smiled and you couldn’t help but return the gesture, and you only looked away when Derek nudged Spencer with a knowing look on his face. Aaron’s hand rested on your shoulder and you looked up at him, grateful for the distraction from the teasing you know you’d be subjected to after much longer.
“We should go take a seat for the reception.” There was a hint of a smile on Hotch’s face. God, you hated profilers. “Unless you want to keep longingly staring at Reid.”
“I was not longingly staring. He was checking on me, like a good friend. You should try it sometime.” There was no true malice behind your words and Hotch knew that. You walked together towards the tables where everyone else had gathered and took a seat as Rossi started a toast.
“They say that good things happen to good people. And today is one of those days. And these are two of those people.” Dave tilted his champagne flute towards Will and JJ. “We love you.”
“Cheers.” Everyone clinked glasses and celebrated the marriage of two of your close friends through drinks, memories, and laughter.
------
“What’s on your mind, pretty boy?” Derek asked as he stood beside Spencer. Spencer had been standing off to the side as he watched everyone else on the dance floor. Derek had just managed to break away from Penelope who was now dancing with Hotch, her head thrown back as she laughed. Rossi was with Emily, the smiles on their faces resembling a father and daughter’s as they danced across the dance floor. JJ was with Will, both of them looking off towards you. Of course they were, Spencer thought as he saw you. Henry was wrapped in your arms, rested against your waist, and you swayed with him. Yours and Henry’s laughter echoed through the backyard as you dipped him down, and his little hands latched onto your arms. One of your hands was tucked under his head securely, and you kissed his head as you stood back up straight.
“So, that’s what’s on your mind. Or who, more like.”
“Shut up, Morgan.” Reid mumbled as Derek laughed, which caused you and Henry to look in his direction. “Great, now they’re looking at us.”
“Is that a bad thing? You’ve been staring at her, so I think it’s fair.” Morgan said as you set Henry down, which led to Henry running to Spencer.
“Uncle Spencer!” Henry rushed over and crashed into Spencer’s legs. Spencer let out an “oof” before he knelt down to Henry’s level.
“Hey, Henry!” Spencer grinned as Henry started to ramble about you and him dancing together, and Derek took his leave. Little did Spencer know, you were watching him with the same look he was watching you with not even minutes prior.
------
“You should ask him to dance with you.” Emily offered a flute of champagne and you accepted it with a “thanks.”
“He doesn’t really seem like he wants to. I don’t think I’ve seen him dancing yet. And it’s gonna be hard to beat Henry’s dance skills.” You winked as you took a sip of champagne, and Emily laughed.
“If you won’t dance with him, you should come dance with the rest of us. Rossi won’t rest until he dances with all of his children.” Emily took your hand and led you to the dance floor, where you both began to dance. Throughout the night, you danced with everyone on your team. Hotch was after Emily, and Garcia took you from him. You then danced with Morgan who spun you over to Rossi.
“The man of the hour. Papà Italiano.” You curtsied before you stepped into Rossi’s arms, and he led the two of you as you danced.
“Mi figlia.” Rossi smiled.
“I’m impressed. You managed to put together a pretty awesome wedding with barely any time. Remind me to let you plan all of my parties.” You teased and Dave laughed as he twirled you.
“I’ll even give you the favorite child discount.”
“Favorite?” You gasped and held your hand against your chest. “I’m honored. I can’t wait to tell Spence he’s not your favorite child.”
“Speaking of our boy genius,” Rossi started and you cut him off with a groan. “What? I was just going to say you two haven’t spent much time together tonight. Usually you two are attached at the hip.”
“Everyone’s been trying to set us up all day today.” You admitted. “And I don’t know. He’s my best friend.” And I’m in love with him, but I don’t want to ruin our friendship if he doesn’t feel the same for me. Which he probably doesn’t, so why put myself out there and face the inevitable rejection when I can pine after him from here?
“Do you always think out loud when you’re nervous?” There was a sparkle in Rossi’s eyes and your cheeks burned. Shit.
“You can’t-”
“I won’t say anything.” You sighed and your shoulders sagged in relief.
“Thank you.”
“Of course, Y/N.” You looked over towards Spencer, who had been roped into dancing with Penelope. “You can talk to him.”
“Wait, what? Rossi!” Penelope and Rossi maneuvered a switch- Penelope was now with Dave while you stumbled into Spencer. “Hi.”
“Hi. I’m sorry for,” Spencer waved his hand in the air, “this.”
“Don’t be sorry. It’s just me. And you. Two friends, dancing. Like everyone else.” Okay, Y/N, shut up now.
“Yeah.” Spencer seemed to deflate a little. “Just like everyone else.” The music playing suddenly changed from upbeat to a slow song, and if looks could kill, Emily and Derek would have dropped dead by the DJ’s booth where they now stood with smug smiles on their faces.
“Do you want to dance with me?” You blurted out at the same time Spencer spoke.
“You don’t have to dance with me.” Spencer’s cheeks turned pink when he heard what you had said.
“I, uh, haven’t danced in a long time. I might step on your toes a lot.” You bit your lip and Spencer smiled that smile that made your heart melt. That smile that could get him whatever he wanted from you.
“I think we can manage.” Spencer took your hand in his and twirled you into him, and you wrapped your free arm around his shoulder while his wrapped around your waist, and his hand rested on your hip. “Is this okay?” You didn’t trust your voice to be steady, so you nodded. His eyes met yours and you couldn’t look away. The music took control and the pair of you began to dance. Neither of you spoke as you danced, and you lowered your head to rest against his shoulder. The smell of his cologne, along with the feeling of his arms wrapped around you, enveloped your senses and you looked up at your best friend.
“I’m sorry for dodging you until now.” Spencer hummed but let you continue to speak. “It feels like everyone’s been pushing for us to be together and no one really cared to listen to what we wanted. Especially today, since it’s a wedding and ‘love is in the air.’”
“And what do you want, Y/N?” Spencer asked and you felt your chest tighten and your heart began to race.
“I want you.” Spencer froze at your words.
“You… what?” There was an unfamiliar emotion in his eyes and you began to backtrack.
“No, no, no, I didn’t finish. I, I wanted you to know that before electroconvulsive therapy was used to treat mental illness, they actually used insulin shock therapy for schizophrenia. Patients would be injected with so much insulin they’d fall into a coma for weeks at a time. And they weren’t really conscious, so psychiatrists would call it successful for treating their patients. But it proved to be too dangerous, with brain damage and even death, so they started using ECT instead.” Spencer took a step back at the end of your rambling and the look on his face pained you.
“Thank you for the dance, Y/N, but I should go.” Spencer started to walk away and you panicked. It’s now or never, Y/N.
“Wait!” When Spencer turned back towards you, you gripped his jacket, pulled him into you, and pressed your lips against his. You pulled back when Spencer hesitated. “I’m sorry, I should have asked before I just-” You were cut off as Spencer’s lips met yours again and his hands cupped your cheeks. You relaxed under his touch and in that moment, it was only you and him. You broke the kiss a minute later, your cheeks flushed and breath labored.
“Yeah! Get some, pretty boy!” Derek called out and the two of you laughed, and you shook your head.
“I’m going to kill him. And I am going to enjoy it.” You muttered and Spencer shook his head, a playful smile on his lips.
“Correct me if I’m wrong, but you did say you wanted me.” You glared at Spencer who raised his hands in mock defense. “If it makes you feel any better, I kind of told Morgan earlier that I was in love with you.”
“And Morgan told Garcia,” you started.
“Who told Emily.”
“And I told Rossi.”
“Who told Hotch.” Spencer finished.
“And they all felt the need to give us a gentle, totally subtle push in the right direction.” You chuckled and Spencer nodded as he brushed a strand of hair out of your face.
“We’re getting them back, right?”
“Oh, totally. But first.” You wrapped your arms around Spencer and began to dance with him again as the music sounded throughout the backyard.
So this is love, mmm
So this is love
And now I know (and now I know)
The key to all heaven is mine
So this is the miracle
That I've been dreaming of...
I didn’t know if I should tag my Marvel taglist so I’ll be tagging @spidey-reids-2003 and @ssa-sugar-tits 🥺 If you want to be added/removed from my Marvel, Criminal Minds, or any taglist, let me know!! Requests are open but will be completed slowly until I settle into my new school and routine 💕
This reader was written as a fem!reader but future fics will be neutral and physical descriptors will not be used unless absolutely necessary/requested ❤️
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logically-asexual · 4 years ago
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okay i'm already procrastinating and i don't plan on sleeping any time soon so here we go.
☆ ✩ my personal ranking for every season 1 Sanders Sides episode. ✩ ☆
i think it's going to be pretty similar to @dukeofonions' but let's see if i find something new to contribute haha. i see you didn't include that one about Patton in the Big Game or whatever, so i'm not including it either xd. also i think i'm going to count Accepting Anxiety as one episode only.
edit: i finished and now i dare you to drink a shot of water every time i say the word spanish or a version of the word comfort and become very well hydrated.
#16 I'm in a Disney Show
(i agree with dukeofonions here) i always forget this episode exists. it was ok in terms of being happy for real life Thomas but as a Sanders Sides episode it didn't do anything. the sides were just giving their opinions but it wasn't very funny or interesting. also i'm bitter because it made me look up the episode he was in and i didn't like it at all. i don't know if i'm too old for those Disney shows now but Thomas was literally the only good part of it, everything else was really dull and boring imo. a waste of time.
however, Logan supporting clickbait is one of the funniest things ever, and i'll never forget it.
#15 Becoming A Cartoon
i didn't hate this episode but it was just .. meh.. you know? several factors contribute to this. one, i couldn't feel much nostalgia for Butch Hartman's shows because i watched them in Spanish, and everything feels really weird when they speak English, i don't like how my old cartoons sound in English. two, it was disappointing to me because we were all desperately waiting for Plot™ and instead they give us this short episode about nothing (oh how the tables have turned now it's the other way around haha). and three, i didn't like the style of the animation :/ their faces and expressions freaked me out, Roman's douchey face still haunts me.
#14 Way Too Adult
here i'm biased because i don't like Patton much, and i didn't back when i watched the series the first time either, so this video was a little disappointingwithout the rest. also it wasn't relatable to me because i am still too young and dependent on my parents haha. but Patton is funny and it's funny to laugh at Thomas' struggling.
#13 The Dark Side of Disney
i've never been a fan of Disney movies. i actually never watched Mulan or the Lion King or Aladdin as a kid, so meh. i liked the ending, though, it was cool to see Virgil have fun and be right for once. it does make me a bit uncomfortable because the way Thomas tries too hard with Virgil's mouth movements and his low voice reminds me of a guy that had made me v uncomfortable not long before watching that video. so an icky feel overall.
#12 A New Year of Lying to Myself
this video was actually kind of fogettable to me. i had a hard time connecting the voices in the song to the characters and idk. i don't love it nor hate it, just .. neutral.
#11 My True Identity
pretty much the same opinion as dukeofonions, again. it's a good introduction and it's good that it was the beginning of it all but on its own it's not very special. i think it's awesome on Thomas to have come up with such a clever idea, like choosing the dad, the teacher and the prince and putting them together and match them with thoughts?? that fit so perfectly?? it really is just very impressive when you think about it, that it was just a random idea he had for a short 5 minute video.
#10 Taking on Anxiety
i liked this video a lot because when i watched it i had recently been a lot on tumblr, and found out through relatable posts that i had anxiety. so watching this video was really fun and it made me happy to feel so seen, specially the intro when Thomas just talks about what it's like to have Anxiety and Virgil is so smug about it.
- ★ -
okay now that those are out of the way things are going to get hard... all the following i love with all my heart so i'm going to rank them based on the smallest things.
#9 Growing Up
once more, Patton isn't my favorite. so that's why i'm putting this here, plus the echo at the end askjhsahg, but i love love this video. i remember we were waiting and oh so ready for the angst of nobody taking Patton seriously. and we received!! i love that though Roman and Logan are antagonists here, they're both so happy about Thomas wanting to have a healthy life. and i just adore the way Logan admits his mistake at the end and asks Patton directly. my heart... also aw.. the nostalgia. i remember none of us knew how to spell Patton's name and were writing it in very funny ways until Thomas and Joan told us lol.
#8 The Mind vs The Heart
when i watched this video the first times i didn't like it much, because i only had eyes for Virgil, but later i came back to it and loved it. so taking that into account i'm putting it here. logicality was the first ship i ever shipped in the show because i saw a gifset on tumblr of Patton screaming "what do you know about love?!" and Logan "apparently more than YOU" and the caption said "MARRIED", and i thought hey yeah... anyway. i love them. they're both my dads since that day.
this video is so so so relatable and i love it. Logan and Patton are so much fun arguing and i love how they compromise at the end and work together. im reconsidering.. i might move it higher? no, fine i'll leave it here.
#7 Making Some Changes
this video was absolutely hilarious. i personally couldn't see it as the Sides still once they were acted by Thomas' friends, i enjoyed it more as that bunch being silly and trying to be the sides but failing in so many ways, while sometimes nailing stuff suddenly. i really don't take this one too seriously as an episode. except Joan!Logan and Valerie!Logan, my beloved... i love how Joan acted as Logan and their voice and that they kept their ace ring on.. there's a reason i had them as my icon for so long. and Valerie looks a bit (a lot) like me with the glasses and dressed in dark colors, plus she spoke Spanish and there's .. no words to describe the joy i felt when seeing/hearing that. wait i'm getting emotional...
#6 My Personality Q&A
when i watched this Virgil was my favorite side and i didn't care much about the rest lol. when i heard his answers i related to him SO much it was scary, and also his voice is so soft and it was all very comforting. it was also when i first starting looking at Logan with more attention, because when he brought up Big Hero 6 and Fall Out Boy and said he didn't sing and would recite it like a poem? it only took a couple seconds but my brain said "me" and never went back.
now this video is a little underwhelming to watch for me, most of the appeal for me was in finding out the answers, and also watching it when we didn't know a lot about the sides. now we know more and want to know more so it's not as fun to me as it was first.
i wish so bad they'd do another one, although i know it would be more difficult with a much bigger audience, i think they can manage and i just need it. the chaos.. the energy.. they all being so savage with each other, learning little random facts about them you didn't expect.. i need it.
- ★ -
oh boy top 5 here we go. the next three are practically a tie. i can't choose.
#5 Alone on Valentines Day
i love Valerie, and the idea of this video was perfect and so perfectly excecuted. every side just giving their crazy opinions on how to woo a random stranger, i laughed SO much. first with Logan speaking simlish out of nowhere? at that point i didn't know practically anything about the sims except that it was some video game and the whiplash of Logan going AYO and the rest killed me. then when Roman whipped out that dialogue in Spanish??? my life was completed. i've never felt more happy than i did in that moment gosh. just the hilarity of Roman's drama, the shock of them speaking Spanish suddenly like that, the absolute JOY of seeing a creator i like speak (may i say) perfect Spanish, the other characters' faces after that.. never been happier.
also the conclusion was so cute. Virgil solving the whole problem without wanting to. i loved it.
#4 Am I Original
i think this video speaks for itself. it was fun to watch them all do the ideas Roman had, plus Logan and Virgil nodding at each other, (i love them so much), plus the angst at the end of Roman's perfectionism, plus Roman's just perfect name. this video has it all.
i think Thomas posted it kind of late at night and i watched it at 7am in the classroom as i waited for my classmates to arrive and the class to start. (i usually was like 40 minutes early to school due to mom’s work). i had to contain my laughter and it wasn’t easy.
#3 Losing My Motivation
i started loving this video after a while, when Logan passed Virgil in the position for my favorite side. but once he did this episode was beautiful. it's so funny and i love Logan and Patton's dynamic so much. and the video also so damn relatable in general. i felt so seen with it because they named all the problems i have when procrastinating, down to Patton's vague explanation of his feelings, it's exactly how i feel every time i want to do stuff. and the plot twist! i can hear the dramatic sound effect and see how they all turn to Logan clearly in my head, and it always makes me smile. plus there's so much Logan angst that can be dug up and overanalized. i love to watch it over and over.
#2 Accepting Anxiety
this video was perfect. everything we wanted. we knew it was coming and it delivered perfectly, better than any fanfic done in the waiting time. the week between the parts was agonizing but in a fun way somehow. i remember precisely when i was watching part 2 in my living room. i screamed. and i cried, a lot. i was feeling terrible at that time in my life and Thomas was such a comforting presence and i can't begin to describe how this episode made me feel.
and later it is always fun to rewatch with all their different reactions to being in Virgil's room, the energy of that was on point. Thomas is such a great actor and the characters where just amazingly performed. plus it gave so much to talk adn think about, the idea of the rooms, lots lots of insight into the characters, foreshadowing, so much. it's just perfect i have nothing else to say.
#1 (for purely emotional reasons, ironically) My Negative Thinking
i think Accepting Anxiety is the best episode of the season objectively but my favorite is My Negative Thinking. because i love Virgil and Logan so much and seeing them argue together was and is great. the comfort.. i can't repeat that word enough throughout this post. it's such a soft video while not being overwhelming with Patton and Roman's outbursts. just quiet (mostly) and clear and with perfectly timed humour.
Logan my beloved.. learning spanish... helping me with my own anxiety.. and their debate was so good. and the fact that they were friends i- i can't. Virgil didn't think Logan liked him and Logan told him explicitly that he did and the casual softness of it i cant even. Logan is happy that he tried.. it's just marvelous. Virgil and Logan as best friends will always be my favorite pair, and their dynamic will always be what i strive for in any relationship i might form, with both sides silently comforting each other within their own limits and realistic perspectives. so nice.
- ★ -
so yeah. that's all. thank you if you read all the way up to here. ♡ ♡ ♡
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alkaysani-archived · 4 years ago
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The Old Guard Fanfic Master List
*updated* 15 Oct 2020
MAIN SERIES
AS OUR LOVE SHAPES OUR UNIVERSE  (Nicky x Joe - Princess Diaries AU)
to love is to sacrifice, to sacrifice is to love 
“Prince Yusuf Al-Kaysani,” Charlotte says, and she’s sighing dreamily again and Yusuf definitely has that effect on people. “That young man gets my vote,” Joseph says from behind him. “He goes by Joe sometimes, so he’s definitely of good stock,” he says, and Nicky snorts. “A brilliant one, amazing artist, charismatic. He’s dedicated himself as the right-hand and advisor to his queen mother, and has fully supported his younger sister taking the throne instead of him. He’s friends with Nicolo,” he says, and Nicky blinks, shrugging a little, and his heart starts to go wild in his chest in a way he doesn’t want to understand. “We spent two years of secondary together,” he whispers, glancing at Mia. “Uh…just before they passed, he had to move back home, and I…” he trails off, sighing. --- or the Princess Diaries II AU where Prince Nicolo will do anything for Genovia. And if that means introducing his cousin Princess Mia to Prince Yusuf Al-Kaysani to be her future king, then his heart just has to deal with it. He just wished that it didn’t hurt so much.
i will hold your heart together in mine 
“You love me now, right?” “Forever more, my darling,” Joe chokes out, and it takes on a whole new meaning that makes his own ache. “Then my heart will heal,” Nicolo says, and his voice is firm, and fierce, under the exhaustion. “The symptoms will fade, in time. They will,” he adds, his voice muffled against his shoulder. He pulls away and looks up at Joe with wide, glassy eyes. “The universe won’t be so cruel to me to take me away now, when I am finally happy, right?” he says, and Joe burst into tears then, shaking his head, grabbing Nicolo’s face and kissing him, deeply. No. No. He won’t think of it. He won’t think of losing Nicolo. Not again. Not like this. *** or where Prince Yusuf learns the physical extents of Nicolo’s heartbreak, months after they were meant to be fine. But regardless of how much it ails him, his beloved Nicolo continues to have faith that he will be alright. So he must brave through his fears and his worries, as they grow, and build a life and a family, together. Even if it breaks their hearts again. And again. And again.
black cats and lopsided hearts (Joe x Nicky) - 30 Oct 2020
“Permission to keep killing your fiancé with cuteness due to Halloween costumes, please?” Mia asks, and she’s giving Nicolo those eyes again, and this time, Nicolo bites his lip, glancing at Joe. “It might be fun, beloved. It’ll only be for a night,” he reasons, and Nicolo sighs then, nodding his head. “For you, heart.” *** or The Old Guard Princess Diaries AU – Halloween Special where Mia convinces Nicolo and Yusuf to let her dress up one and a half-year old twins Elio and Ayla for this very American holiday.
ONE-SHOTS & STAND-ALONES
JOE x NICKY
not that i need reminding 
“You look in love.” Joe blinks, looking up at the voice. There’s a woman, a little younger than Nile, or maybe just her age, sitting beside him on the bench now. She’s smiling at him, and he gives her what he hopes is an equal one, before nodding softly, gently tapping his pencil on his sketchbook. He knows the answer, of course he does. Yes. He is in love. Truly, madly, deeply, or however they say it. He knows all of this already. But he’s willing to play. “And how does that look?” --- or joe gets a vibe check from the universe.
to know those among us 
“Mommy, angel! Angel, mommy!” Nicky blinks, putting down the produce he had in his hand. He zeros in on the voice and a little boy staring up at him, jaw dropped and staring, his eyes wide and curious. Then he looks up to find a woman, blushing red, looking absolutely mortified. Even with her darker tone, the flush is clear, making her glow. She looks ready to run, so Nicky just gives her a smile, and then crouches in front of the child, before looking around, humming curiously. “Where, little one?” he asks, putting his hands over his eyes as he continues his search. “Where is the angel?” he asks, and the little boy giggles. It’s a beautiful sound amongst the low bustle of the early farmer’s market. --- or nicky gets mistaken for an angel by a child, so he tells them about real ones
in parts, i fall, i love
Joe needs to finish this portfolio if he wants something to propose to the showcase. And he does. He really does. But someone just sat at his table because the coffee shop is so busy, and their profile is gorgeous, and yep, he’s definitely trashed the outline again because this man is definitely going to be a part of it. “Is there something on my face?” he hears, and Joe pauses. Shit. Joe breathes out so heavily that his glasses fog up, and he looks up to find the man giving him a hint of a smile, tilting his head slightly to the side. “You’re staring,” the man states and honestly, yeah, Joe is. “I’m not.” Idiot. --- or joe is an artist, and he falls in love. and nicky is along for the ride.
with your hands, your whispers 
Come on love, that’s it.” “I can’t, Yusuf, please.” He’s gasping, breathless. His Yusuf always leaves him so breathless. It’s too much. And of course, Yusuf knows that it’s too much. He knows exactly what Nicky needs, and what makes him overflow, and it seems like his adoring heart wants him to spill over, again and again in every sense of the word. *** or a take on what nicolo and yusuf were doing before booker and andy got to the hotel in marrakesh
let’s right, these wrongs, together (see accompanying edit here)
If he concentrates hard enough, he can still smell Yusuf on the scarf, and it brings immediate tears to his eyes. Because it’s only been nearly a year, and he’s yearned for the man for longer, way before they got together. And even with all the odds, with all the numbers combined, Nicky doesn’t believe that there’ll be enough time that can pass to heal the pain that’s clawing on his chest at that moment. That has been since Yusuf said it was over.   Nile’s legs move from his lap, and suddenly there are arms around him, pulling him close and Nicky closes his eyes, pressing his face on Nile’s neck. “You’re allowed to hurt as long as you have to, Nicky,” Nile says to him, and it’s so, so kind. “You can tell me as much or as little as you can. I didn’t mean to push.” Nicky sniffles. “I still love him,” he croaks out, like it needed to be heard, like his desperation is a call out for his heart. His heart that let him go, that told him that it’s over. *** or the one where Nicky is housemates with Nile after Yusuf breaks up with him. And when he finally opens up about it, Nicky realizes that his current predicament was brought on by misunderstandings and good intentions with ill results. But it’s too late. It’s been nearly a year; it doesn’t matter now. Right? Not if your housemate is Nile Freeman.
hand-shaped bruise (see accompanying edit here)
Prince Nicolò spends most of his days alone. He lives with no one, after all, ever since his parents died. Ever since he was killed by Sr. Merrick and Lady Kozak, his screams ringing out throughout the night until his final breath, only to show up the next day at the farmer’s market. *** or my halloween take on our beloved characters.
BOOKER x COPLEY
when time dictates love 
"So not ugly,” Sebastien says, and Aidan looks at Mr. Copley, who just shrugs, smiling. “He is insufferable. Does he know this?” he says, and the man just smiles, both of them ignoring how Sebastien says ‘hey!’. “He does,” Mr. Copley whispers, and he says, and Sebastien’s fingers intertwine with his atop his knee, and Aidan looks away. “But you like him anyway,” he says instead. Mr. Copley chuckles, and he leans to press a kiss on Sebastien’s forehead, who’s no longer laughing. “Yes, but I like him anyway.” --- or a home-care worker witnesses Booker and Copley’s last year together, as time catches up on them
MULTIPLE RELATIONSHIPS
there is no timeline when it comes to this (Booker x Copley; Joe x Nicky - also featuring Joe & Booker bffs and Nicky really giving a damn about Booker)
“I’m happy for you, Yusuf,” Booker says, because he means it despite the ache, and Joe smiles, nodding, and he’s smiling in a way that makes his heart hurt even more. “We love you, Booker,” Joe says because he’s just that person, before driving off as Booker makes his way up to his apartment, steps feeling like lead. He makes the point to check the mail, and he’s not even sure why. He’s never checked mail before, Joe usually did. Booker pauses then, looking at the different ads he pulled out of the box after twisting the key. So many changes already. When he finally gets to his unit, he finds someone standing at the door. They turn when he pauses, and greets him with a smile. “Hello Booker,” James Copley says, giving him a two-finger salute. “You haven’t aged a day.” *** or where Booker’s best friend Yusuf moves out to be with his Nicolo, and he makes the choice to live alone for the first time in years. Booker tells himself he’ll be fine, tells everyone that he’ll be fine, even though the weight in his chest tells him otherwise. but he really has no choice. this is his life now. then James Copley comes home.
OTHER SHIPS & FRIENDSHIPS & NO SHIPS
little things, for the heart (Nile and Joe)
“Are you…baking bread?” Joe looks up at her then, and Nile snorts, walking over to the counter and reaching up to tug on the man’s stray curls, dark tight ringlets dusted with white flour. “Maybe,” Joe says, in a sing-song tone. *** or Nile takes a lesson she learned from her mother and applies it to her new life.
OTHER SERIES
THE NILE FREEMAN COLLECTION (Written for Nile Freeman Week 2020)
nile + love or where Nile meets another queen 
nile + sadness or where Nile keeps it real with Booker
nile + alone time or where Nile gets of ice cream and thinks of dying
nile + comfort or where Nile makes Joe feel better, the best way she knows how
MY LOVE, WE STILL HAVE MUCH TO LEARN (Post-Canon Take)
do not let me awake alone (Nicky x Joe)
After Booker’s betrayal, Joe is angry and Nicky suffers through the fallout. And for the the first time in a long time, Nicky understands what it's like to be alone in his grief.And something inside him breaks.
my love for him kills any anger (Nicky x Joe; Joe & Andy)
A month later, Andy finds out that Nicky is talking to Booker.But it doesn’t mean that Joe forgives him. Far from it. They've been through so much for him to just let it go.
a blessing from above (Nile & Nicky; Nile & Joe; Nicky x Joe) 
Nile gets used to a few things, three months into her new life. But the one thing that wracks her brain the most is how they deal with loss and suffering.Thankfully, she has a lifetime to figure it out. Because they’re family, and she wants to help them. At least, start them on the right path. They are grown people, after all. Because her Mama raised her right.
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xyzcekaden · 3 years ago
Text
🚍 unsuspecting sunday afternoon 🚍
by me, xyzcekaden! a pokemon fanfic about when the one you hate to love is made for you
How capable is the human heart now?
fandom: pokemon, gen 3, advanced generation characters: ash, may, steven stone in a “supporting” role ship: advanceshipping genre: romance, angst themes: friendship, pre-relationship, slowburn, 6+1 if you squint setting: modern, hoenn, pokemon universe lite word count: 4.6k rating: T
read it below, on ffnet, or on ao3!
A/N (9.7.201): So this has been in my drafts since about April 2020 😅 Sure, I'm happy to finally share something new with the small yet strong advanceshipping fandom; but more than that, I'm relieved this document can no longer taunt me with its incompletion, hahaha. Do let me know what you think! Especially with this opening formatting; I'm trying something new. :)
Nothing sensitive in the fic, but the characters are all adults so it felt fitting to rate it T. Title taken from the song of the same name by the Backstreet Boys, and its lyrics/sentiments are interwoven throughout. The narrative is inspired and framed by monstaxnight's anonymous ask. If you recognise it, it doesn't belong to me. Thanks for reading!
~~~
fall for someone whose body would start fires
On a Saturday, May asked Ash to come over the next day. “I need a second opinion on something,” she had said. “It’ll be super quick.”
Of course, ‘super quick’ means Ash has enough time to set his switch up on May’s gigantic living room tv and play a few rounds of his favourite fighting video game while she gets ready for something or another in her room. He always acts like he has better things to do than help her with her sundry weekly ventures, but they both know he’d rather do ‘nothing’ with her than ‘something’ on his own somewhere else.
“Okay, Ash, are you ready?” May’s voice rings out. “Yeah,” he answers distractedly, strategically button smashing.
“So I kept the jeans from this last outfit, but this top I just got two weekends ago and haven’t had a chance to wear yet,” May narrates as she exits her room. “I had the, frankly, brilliant idea of using the jacket from Outfit 1 and pairing it with those heels you paid for for my birthday, et voila!”
The clacking of heels stops at the entrance of the hallway. “What do you think?’
Ash redirects his attention to May. His avatar dies on screen, just like his voice dies in his throat.
“You, um, you look great.”
In actuality, May looks smoking hot, but that’s not new for either of them. His best friend is supremely attractive, and he knew it and had no problem acknowledging it normally. This time, however, May doesn’t just look physically great, she also looks like she feels like she looks great. He doesn’t know how much sense that makes; but there is decidedly something different, and Ash feels a strange sense of dread in his chest.
May beams, taking the inarticulate response in stride. “Well that’s a winning endorsement if I ever heard one! Now let’s just hope Steven has as great of a reaction.” She turns to one of the many full-length mirrors stationed around her condo and reviews the outfit with a critical eye.
This brings Ash out from his stupor. “‘Steven’?” he repeats as he sits up on the couch. “You’re going on a date?”
“It’s not a date,” May replies in a tone that clearly conveys that she would not be opposed to it turning into a date. “My dad is having dinner with an old business partner, and the guy’s bringing his son along, so me and Max were invited, too. We were kinda friends back when we were young, but it’s not like we’ve kept in touch or anything. I just figured I should make a good second first-impression… You know, for my dad’s sake.”
Ash can tell the last bit was just something she’s telling herself to rationalise why she’s trying so hard, and it doesn’t sit right with him. He slinks back down on the couch dejectedly and halfheartedly starts a new game.
He finds himself wondering how often they hung out and how much whatever-that-number-was-teenth impressions were worth. He hopes it’s a lot.
~~~
fall for someone who always runs from his kiss
“… And I was right! They were roommates!” May boisterously ends her story, almost losing her ice cream to physics as she wildly gesticulates.
They’re just strolling around the park that’s honestly nowhere near either of their apartments; but over the years, it became their park anyway. They didn’t even set plans to hang out today, but it kinda just happened―a recurring theme in their friendship, admittedly.
For his part, Ash hides a smirk with a lick to his own ice cream, not bothering to say or do anything to protect her treat. If she hasn’t learned by now, she never would. “Oh my god, they were roommates,” he deadpans instead.
May sends him an unimpressed smirk and lightly smacks Ash’s shoulder. He yelps. She yanks her hand back as soon as she realises, but the damage is done.
He blinks down at the cold, vanilla, rainbow-sprinkled stain before raising his gaze to meet May’s equally stunned one.
They stare in silence for a moment, then May cracks a conciliatory grin. “For what it’s worth, I’m sorry?”
He shrugs it off easily. “I probably deserved it,” he says, making peace with the knowledge that his previous unwillingness to protect her ice cream from any accidents is the undoubted origin for his current poor luck. He nods toward the path. “Shall we?”
“We passed by a restroom a little bit ago. We can clean you up,” May disagrees, tugging on his arm in the opposite direction.
“‘S fine,” he argues as he tries to continue walking forward.
“Ash, it’ll stain!” She tugs harder.
“It’ll be an improvement!” He’s overpowering her, but not as easily as he’d like.
“Why are you being such a butthead about this!?” She’s pulling with all her strength now, this being a matter of pride to her at this point.
“Come on, May!” Ash heaves one last time.
They tumble head over feet onto the ground, but that’s not the reason Ash feels like his world has turned upside down.
May’s body weighs comfortably on his, his hands naturally settle on her waist with hers on his chest, and his brown eyes bore into her blues. Their ice cream has fallen… somewhere, but Ash doesn’t concern himself with that considering this is the closest they’ve been since they first met.
They’ve been toeing this line since then, too.
I’m gonna do it, he thinks to himself.
He closes his eyes.
He leans in.
May scrambles away.
Ash sits up and blinks at the sight of May’s confused, furious eyes. “Ash, what are you doing?” Her voice croaks like her throat is dry. It makes him clear his own before dumbly responding, “I was trying to kiss you.”
“Why??” she asks, her voice strangled. He pushes himself off the ground warily as he watches her hold herself, bite her lip, shake her head in a panic; and somehow in all of that, he understands.
“I thought it wasn’t a date.” Ash tries so hard not to sound accusatory, but her wince in response proves it didn’t work. It also proves his fear correct.
He turns, hiding as if the people walking by could discern his transgression and shame by the sight of his face alone. Besides, his mind can conjure up an image of her running away just fine on its own.
Ash notices the remnants of their impromptu outing splattered on the ground near his feet. He picks up what he can and stomps over to the nearest trash bin, throwing it in as hard as he can to let out some of his frustration.
He hopes he hasn’t gone and screwed everything up.
~~~
fall for someone whose lips belong to someone else
They don’t talk about it, and then it’s too late.
“Ash, this is Steven,” she tells him softly, as if it could make up for how it feels like the sight of her arms wrapped around the guy’s torso and his arm casually thrown over her shoulder assaults him every time he blinks.
“Steven Stone. It’s great to finally meet you. May speaks of you highly,” Steven introduces with a dignified air. Not pompous, no; he is just someone who was raised being told that he was going to do important things and who happened to believe it.
They shake hands, and Ash’s fingers feel cold, a marked contrast to how there’s something in his chest that’s burning.
Inside the restaurant, the waitress asks if a table is okay, and no one asks for a booth instead. In his seat, Ash is neither directly in between nor directly across from the newly-established couple, and he wonders if this is where all his luck went into.
Lunch goes better than expected.
Ash was prepared to hate the guy, but what is there to hate? Steven has a decent sense of humour, loves pokemon but loves rocks even more, and is COO of the biggest enterprise in Hoenn. He is a safe, sensible choice. This guy isn’t going to break May’s heart.
As the meal winds down, Steven offers to pay for everyone; but Ash still has his pride. In the end, he manages to negotiate paying for just his own plate and drink, knowing he has no right to battle for the privilege of paying for May’s.
He wouldn’t even do so on a typical occasion anyway; but as far as Ash is concerned, Steven’s presence throws all of the friends’ typical rules of engagement out the window.
They say goodbye and part ways in front of the restaurant.
A few steps later, Ash snaps his fingers as he recalls something. He turns around to remind May of their movie plans in a few days, and he is met with the sight of the couple sharing a sweet kiss on the corner while waiting for the light to change.
Steven could never break May’s heart, but he sure can break Ash’s.
Ash turns back and continues walking. He hopes May can remember on her own.
~~~
fall for someone whose touch is way too much
May insists that nothing has changed between them, but clearly something has because Ash doesn’t remember ever being so anxious about her proximity before.
He had always been aware of her, though. Always. When your first meeting is saving the other from getting run over by a tour bus, you quickly develop the habit of keeping track of where the person is at all times.
Between his athleticism and her natural proclivity towards tactileness, casual physical exchanges quickly became their norm: hugs and high fives, friendly elbows in the rib after a good joke and sharing a blanket as they watch a movie, (lingering touches on the shoulder and holding hands even after they’ve escaped a crowd… or did he make those up?).
They were controlled yet unmistakably affectionate markers of their relationship.
But now?
When she shifts one centimetre closer to him in line at the mall food court, he accidentally overpays by fifty pokeyen out of distraction. When she grabs his fork out of his hand to try a piece of his takoyaki, he jerks so hard at the contact that he spills his soft drink all over the table. When she pats him dry using flimsy food court napkins with a joke about ice cream in her voice and fondness in her eyes, he needs to claim a rapid-onset fever in order to give himself an excuse to cut their lunch short immediately.
These innocent touches have been an ever-present facet of their friendship since basically the beginning; and even when he realised he was in love, they hadn’t affected him like this.
Things are different now, despite what she says.
Well, maybe not things; maybe just him.
He had allowed himself to revel in their familiar touches when she was single because he could, because there was no one else that she was supposed to be able to make feel like this. Even if the feeling wasn’t meant for him, it wasn’t meant for anyone else either.
But now.
He can’t, in good conscience, allow his heart to rush and his smile to form and his hand to squeeze back. It wouldn’t be fair to May, not when she’s trusting him with her friendship and he’s taking more from her than that.
Even though he’d like nothing else than to keep that closeness, to go back to how it was between them before, this is the way it has to be now. He just hopes she can understand.
~~~
fall for someone he doesn’t want to feel for
On sleepless nights, he wonders when.
He knows the who, what, why, and how; but the when eludes him.
...
They were both breathing heavy, attention focused on the spot of the road where the girl would have flattened like a pancake if it weren’t for his quick reflexes and hero complex.
The clapping of a few passers-by snapped them out of their shock and into the realisation that he still had her protectively cradled to his chest.
They quickly broke apart, and he took the time to wave off the praise from the gathered crowd while she checked her purse to see if everything was inside.
“You got everything?” he asked after people’s attentions finally turned back towards their own lives.
“Yeah, I do,” the girl replied, and her voice was rather cheery considering the ordeal she just survived. (He would later learn that was her default.)
“Great,” he said, genuine yet awkward.
They continued staring at each other. The adrenaline from their brush with danger hadn’t worn off yet; his heart was still beating very fast.
“So, um, have a good day,” he bade after it was clear neither of them had anything more to say. He made to return to his errands, but a hand on his arm stopped him.
“You saved my life, and you’re just gonna walk away?” she asked incredulously.
He blinked at her. “I’ll be honest; I wasn’t aware there was an after-action protocol for this sort of situation.”
She was incredulous for only a second before she giggled at him. “The least I can do is buy you lunch to say ‘thank you.’”
“Well, I’ve never turned down a free meal,” he accepts with a grin.
She giggled again then stuck out her hand. “My name’s May.”
“Ash.”
...
No, it wasn’t then. Nor was it during the meal they shared, nor at the bar where they happened to see each other that weekend, nor while they were escaping from the bar fight that she accidentally instigated that night.
...
“Is this going to become a running gag? Will I have to constantly be saving you from trouble you unintentionally get yourself into?” Ash panted after he directed her to duck into a nearby alley.
“Hey, as far as I’m concerned, this automatically makes me the most interesting friend you’ve got,” May countered.
He took one extra second to check no one was following them then cut a glance at her. “I don’t know about you, but most of my friends have my number.”
She rolled her eyes with a smile. “Smooth.” They switched phones and exchanged numbers.
“Better memorize that by heart,” he jested as he handed her her phone back. “Don’t wanna waste your one phone call at the station just because you mixed up the last two digits by accident.”
“If the next time you hear from me is because I went and got myself arrested, just leave me to rot. I must have earned it,” she smirked.
...
Luckily, the next time one of them reached out to the other wasn’t to bail the former out of jail. May invited him to a pool party for her birthday, where he handily won a water balloon fight and impressed everyone by fixing the grill for their barbeque. Their friendship continued to progress naturally: movie nights that turned into impromptu sleepovers, brunches that turned into walks around town. Several shopping trips and video games and hikes later, they were each other’s best friends. It was basically inevitable.
So when? When would he have had the chance to fall in love with her?
...
“Hello?”
“Ash, you picked up!” she sounded surprised―happy, but surprised―and he winced. He knew he’d been blowing her off a little more often lately, but making her think he’d turn down her phone call?
“Heh, yeah, sorry about that,” he said, betting on the hope that she somehow implicitly understood everything he was apologising for. “Is everything okay?”
For an extended second, she was quiet, then she said, “I need to tell you something.”
His hackles rose, and he started grabbing his keys and putting on his shoes. Maybe she finally ended up in jail. “Where are you? I can be there in ten minutes, maybe twenty with traffic―”
She giggled, and he paused. That was her nervous giggle. “May?” he asked, still wary but not about to race out of his house with only his boxers on.
“No! No, it’s nothing like that. It’s just… Steven told me he loves me.”
His breath left his lungs.
“And I told him I love him back,” she continued.
All the adrenaline that had surged through his body only moments before completely left him at her words, and his limbs locked up instead. He felt cold.
“Hello?”
He didn’t even realise he had sunk to his knees until he meant to take a step back towards the couch. He just slumped onto his butt. “That’s―” He had to clear his throat. “That’s gotta be recent.”
He could slap himself. He sounded as dead as he felt. He tried again: “I mean, that’s great news, May! He’s a lucky guy. Yeah.”
She sighed with relief. Could Steven tell what her sighs meant over the phone? ”I’m the lucky one, I think,” she said happily, and that was his last straw.
“Heh, yeah, well,” he sputtered out, just to have something to say. “Listen, since you’re not in danger or anything, uh, you actually caught me at a bad time, so I gotta go. I’ll catch you later, yeah?”
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
“Wait, Ash! Before you go!”
He held back a sigh. “What’s up, May?”
“It’s just… You’re right; it is recent. You’re actually the first person I told.”
“I’m honoured.” He couldn’t help the sarcasm that spilled out, but he backtracked quickly. “I mean it. Thank you for telling me.”
“Of course, Ash; I tell you everything. At this point, it’s like I have to; nothing would ever feel real otherwise.”
He shut his eyes. He really couldn’t take this anymore. “I know what you mean. Same here.”
She made a cute sound, a quiet little ‘hmm,’ and that was when the first tear spilled out. “Alright, I’ve taken up enough of your time. I’ll text you later!!” she promised.
“Later,” he repeated, both an echo and a goodbye; and finally, blissfully, he ended the call.
...
When, when, when?!
That was supposed to be one of the sweetest moments of her young adult life, and she called on him―trusted him, even―to be happy for her. When did he get to the point where he couldn’t even do that? Instead, he recalls it now as he struggles to fall asleep, playing the memory at half-speed over and over again in his imagination, and all he does is hope.
He desperately hopes it’ll stop hurting so much.
~~~
fall for someone with the sweetest rebel heart
When he finds out he didn’t get the promotion he was vying for at work, there’s no one else’s comfort he sought but May’s.
“I’m sorry that happened, Ash,” May soothes as she rubs rhythmic circles into Ash’s back. They’re in her condo, noticeably nicer maintained than Ash’s flat, side by side on the sofa. It is the first time he’s let her touch him in weeks, and he really needs it. “At least now they know you’re interested? It might be your turn next time.”
Ash snorts but nods anyway. He’s usually the type to look at the bright side, but it would be an understatement to say that he is simply disappointed. After all the L’s he’s been taking in his personal life, he had been hoping at least something would go his way professionally.
May continues, “Just make sure not to let this setback actually set you back. Keep putting your best foot forward, and I know you’ll win those guys over… just like you did with me!” She ends with a wink, trying her hardest to inject some levity into the situation.
Just like that, Ash’s mood sours even more. “You can’t say that to me, May,” he angrily replies as he shuffles out of her hold.
“What are you talking about?” she pouts as she feebly tries to get him to lay back against the couch so that the cold air can’t get under the blanket they are sharing.
“I didn’t ‘win you over,’ clearly.” He shrugs off her touch and scoots away. He has spent so long trying to keep his bitterness inside, but he doesn’t have the emotional wherewithal to regulate himself right now. He’s tired of trying to get over things that make him upset.
May frowns, the furrow between her brow getting deeper as she sits up straight on the sofa. “Ash, why are you talking like that? I meant, like, how we became friends, obviously. I didn’t grow to love you by accident.”
Ash stands then, balling the blanket up and throwing it back on the couch. “I bet Steven wouldn’t be too happy to hear you say that.”
She follows suit, her voice elevating in volume as if to match. “I bet Steven wouldn’t appreciate being judged by someone who’s only met him once―despite my efforts otherwise, might I add.”
“I bet Steven would love to hear his girlfriend say she loves another guy.”
“I bet Steven isn’t dumb enough to think I can’t love you both.”
“You don’t love me, May!” Ash finally explodes.
He has never raised his voice like this, not to her, but he’s tired. He’s tired of loving someone he can’t have, he’s tired of hating himself for it, and he’s tired of the guilt when he takes it out on her despite all his attempts not to.
She looks like she’s torn between yelling right back or kicking him out; and before she could make up her mind, he collects himself enough so he could bring his voice down. He states simply, “Not the way you love Steven.” Not the way I love you.
He doesn’t say it, but he can tell she hears it anyway. He clears his throat and turns around, trying to hide without running away. “Hearts don’t work like that,” he murmurs into the room.
He makes to leave, but May’s hand on his shoulder stops him. She forcibly turns him back to face her, and Ash is shocked at the determined set to her face. Her eyes, bluer than a water stone and twice as powerful, hold him as captive as they always have. “You listen to me, Ash Ketchum.” Her tone brokers no argument. “If you thought for a second that I stopped loving you because I fell in love with Steven, you clearly underestimated what my heart is capable of.”
Her grip on him tightens, as if making sure he is still with her in the moment. “It’s big enough for the both of you; and if that’s not the way hearts are supposed to work, then I’ll just be the exception that proves the rule.”
She pulls him into a hug then, like locking that promise between them, and he dares let himself hope she means that.
~~~
fall for someone whose heart needs sewing up
Ash wasn’t expecting a knock on his door this late at night, and he definitely wasn’t expecting to see a beautifully made up May Maple standing in the hallway, mascara-tinged tears and runny nose notwithstanding.
"Steven is moving to Alola to support Devon Corp’s expansion," is all she said, but even that much is hard to make out through her watery voice.
The news sinks in, and Ash’s heart feels like someone moved it three centimetres to the left: still there, still functional, but not at all where he needs it to be.
"You’ve always talked about going to Alola," is the only way he could respond, thinking of all the times they’ve imagined taking a week off and vacationing in the tropical region. He won’t, can’t let himself think about anything else or else he’d break down.
In his heartbreak, he cannot recognise May's tears, which are too raw and too loud to be that of someone bearing regrettable news. These are the tears of a confused, broken heart.
"Ash, I'm not going," she sniffles, still stiffly standing outside his door. "He asked me not to."
Finally understanding that he misunderstood, Ash is even more disoriented than he was before. "Why would he do that?" he asks, obviously still trying to wrap his mind around what the hell was happening.
"I don’t know!" May yells while clenching her fists and stomping a high-heeled foot. It is the most movement she's made since he opened the door. "I demanded a reason, and he spewed nonsense at me! He said―" and she stops. Her whole body slumps back into stillness but without the stiffness of before. She continues quietly, "He said he didn’t want to see what I’d look like with my heart so far outside of my chest," like a guilty confession. Ash is at once reminded of their almost-fight a month ago, and he still isn’t sure what this all means.
He almost asks, Why wouldn’t he believe your heart was right where you were? or How capable is the human heart now? but he doesn’t.
Instead, he finally welcomes May inside. He sits her on the couch and helps her take off her heels before she wraps herself up in the blanket he keeps there―a blanket he only has, he remembers, because when she first visited his apartment, she insisted his couch needed one. She doesn’t just hold the blanket around her shoulders; she hides her entire frame within its folds. He merely sits on the couch next to the lump and places a solitary hand on top, unsure where it was resting yet hoping it is providing comfort nevertheless.
He wonders if May ever let Steven see her like this, the way she needs to shut out all stimuli as if to physically recreate her darkest moments. He wonders why he loves that she does that, even though it causes him so much selfish pain to be close enough to see her like this but shut out from her healing.
"I don’t think I have a boyfriend anymore," May says at length, voice dampened by the space and fabric between them.
It would have been the happiest news of Ash’s adult life if it weren’t for the extreme melancholy that laced her tone as she said it out loud.
He squeezes his hand into a fist on top of the blanket, his signal that he’d like to hug her if he could.
"I would have missed you if you left." Ash gives a nonsequitur-confession in response. May burrows deeper into the blankets and says nothing.
Instead, she reaches a hand out from a heretofore unseen opening in the fabric and holds on to his other hand tightly.
Ash stares at her slender knuckles, made paler from her firm grasp, and stops hoping.
He gently plies her fingers from his palm and tries not to feel guilty about the shocked, embarrassed way the hand pulls back into the blanket as he leaves her there.
The love of his life needs compassion right now. This is not his opportunity to sweep her off her feet; this is not his second chance.
He returns from the bedroom, settles back into his place on the couch, and forces May out of the blanket.
~~~
May jerks her head up, shocked and angry and still embarrassed from her rejected attempt to seek Ash’s comfort, but she is quickly mollified into confusion. The expected sight of Ash’s lit up form in his lit up living room ends up being no different from the blackness from which she thought she was rudely taken.
It is so dark under the extra, larger blanket that she can’t even see Ash’s nose even though she can sense his head is mere inches from hers.
His hands find hers in the darkness and squeeze. Relief flashes through her as she finally surrenders to the deep, thick slice of heartbreak.
May wants to see his face, but she settles for a hug.
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bluejello · 3 years ago
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I was tagged by @ellanainthetardis and I’m v excited!
How many works do you have on AO3?
I just have 37 on AO3 right now - I never transitioned my old fics from my ff.net accounts over so if I added in those it’d definitely be a higher count
What’s your total AO3 word count?
125854
How many fandoms have you written for and what are they?
OUAT, Hunger Games, Stargate (SG-1 and Atlantis), RWBY, Twilight (lol), NCIS, Bones, Harry Potter, Supergirl, and then I guess I wrote an iCarly fic once and a Mean Girls one?? (oh the things I find when looking up my old profiles xD) 
What are your top five fics by kudos?
Playdate (OUAT)
Of Flowers and Numbers (OUAT)
Accidents Happen (OUAT)
Of Microwaves and Dodgeballs (OUAT)
The One With the Single Room (OUAT)
Yes the OUAT/SQ fandom was hopping once upon a time (lol pun intended) with dropping kudos
Do you respond to comments, why or why not?
I used to on ff.net because I liked the reply method there, and I didn’t really continue doing that when I went to AO3. I just started trying to remember to on my multichap fic just to show I appreciate the comments but I usually see the email notification and then get sidetracked and forget aha
I’m also terrible with leaving comments but tbf I followed some writers’ twitters back in the day and saw them talking smack about reviews I had left (which were nice reviews, I just was like “oh this song reminds me of (x) I’m so glad to see it in a fic” like nothing mean) and then I was like oh people don’t like when you say more than “good job” and I got like frightened of leaving reviews after, which is stupid because I love getting them so I know that writers enjoy them, but that moment really stuck with me
What’s the fic you’ve written with the angstiest ending?
mmmm I wrote a fic once where I killed Henry (OUAT), and then I’ve definitely written some post-Jenny death for NCIS/Jibbs fics so probably one of those
What’s the fic you’ve written with the happiest ending?
any of the others I thrive on happy endings tbh I love throwing out happy endings everywhere I go
Do you write crossovers? If yes, what’s the craziest thing you’ve written?
god I wrote one way back in my like 13-year-old days that was technically a crossover for Stargate SG-1 and Atlantis (even tho they take place in the same universe anyway) that was just pure crack and was an excuse for me to pretend the characters had the same mentality as my 13-year-old self
Have you ever received hate on a fic?
oh yeah, I think the first review I ever got on a fanfic was hate. happy to say that I continued on anyway and kept writing at least! 
Do you write smut? If so what kind?
sure do write some smutty smut - uhhhh most any kind I suppose? I’ll write them regardless of gender(s), and always fully consensual, nothing ever too crazy I would say, just because I still am not sure of my own writing skills with it but maybe one day Hayffie will drive me there
Have you ever had a fic stolen?
not that I have known... 
Have you ever had a fic translated?
Yes, a couple of them actually, with full permissions/credit
Have you ever co-written a fic?
I suppose I’ve bounced ideas off of friends in the past but I don’t think I’ve ever gone full in with co-writing. 
What’s your all-time favorite ship?
ugh just one?? Despite having not written many fics for them, I think I will always find my way back to Daniel/Janet (Stargate SG-1). They really got me into reading fic in the first place and they were probably the first OTP to really rip my heart apart (:
What’s a WIP you want to finish but don’t think you ever will?
I have a long “100 ways to love you” fic for SQ/OUAT that I was writing in college and I felt so good about it and I have it all planned and it’s over halfway done, but I don’t know if I have the strength to enter back into the fandom ehe
What’s your writing strengths?
planning out modern AUs, I love them so much, I love any AU, could go crazy for them
What’s your writing weaknesses?
I sometimes make things too dialogue-heavy, and then I get concerned I’m repeating a lot of phrases (recently it’s been if I’m having certain actions be repeated too much like “sighed”) 
I’m not a big fan of writing action/fighting scenes, but I go overboard with researching to make sure I’m writing them out the right way 
What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in fic?
I think it’s awesome to see characters speaking other languages because speaking multiple languages in general is awesome to me (especially since I grew up in the good ol’ USA and they taught us nothing growing up until I took French as an elective in high school and Spanish in college). I will always use google translate to get the vibe of what is being said, but I know it doesn’t always work correctly, either, so I know I try my best to get it correct before putting any other language in my fic
What was the first fandom you wrote for?
Stargate SG-1 at a whopping 12 years old probably (if not earlier)
What’s your favorite fic you’ve written?
You know I’m really proud of the Stargate/THG AU through the circle (fast and slow), like it’s not a combination of fandoms that most people would like fully understand I suppose, but it was so fun to write and I just had a blast going through it and thinking of different scenarios that echoed what happened in Stargate. I actually wrote a long post about it at one point but it was also one of the first times just feeling really good in general while writing and not feeling like i was writing for others only, but also for myself
and I’m going to tag: @kananjarrus-jediknight @strangesmallbard​ @roxannweasley and whoever wants to do it :)
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blackhakumen · 3 years ago
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Mini Fanfic #809: Chilling at the Beach (Super Smash Bros Ultimate)
2:54 p.m. at the Beachside of Isle Defino........
It was a bright and soothing day at the Isle Defino and Samus is relaxing herself at the beachside of the resort like island by laying back on her towel and watching the waves pass by. It wasn't long until a green Pianta with a black mustache made his way by the duo's resting spot while having his eyes on the relaxing Bounty Hunter in question.
Mustache Pianta: Why, hello there, miss-
Samus: Not interested.
Mustache Pianta: (Eyes Widened in Disbelief) What!? B-B-But you didn't even let me finish what I was going to say!
Samus: I know. And even then, I still would've turn you down. Now would you mind getting out of here already? You're blocking our view.
Mustache Pianta: (Grumbles Why Walking Away)
Fox: (Makes his Way to Samus' Spot With Two Drinks in his Hands) Another guy tried to hit on you?
Samus: (Sighs While Receving her Drink From Fox) Yep. I think that's the eleventh one in the row so far. Or was the twelfth? Already loss count. (Takes a Sip of her Drink)
Fox: (Sits Himself Down Next to Samus) You know, I've been wondering this for a while now, but how did you manage to get abs to begin with? You kind of looked ripped right now
Samus: (Smirks Proudly) Thanks. I did a few sit-ups and bench presses here and there. I think it's finally paying off.
Fox: (Takes a Look at Samus' Abs) Yeah no kidding. I don't think I could ever develop abs like that even if I wanted to.
Samus: (Turns to Fix with a Bit of a Reassuring Smile) I'm sure you can, Foxy. Though, I don't think you'll be able to show it off thanks to the fur in your chest.
Fox: (Looks Down at his Fur Chest) Yeah. You're right. Still would be cool though.
Samus: Definitely. Which reminds me, how exactly did you and your team have those mechanical legs to before with? Did it have anything to do with your past missions or something?
Fox: Not really. We amputated our legs and replace it with cybernetics in order to fly our Arwings to the best of our abilities. That and it helps prevent our bodies from getting exposed to intense G-Forces, thanks to how fast our ships really are.
Samus: Seriously? (Starts Smirking Again) That's pretty hardcore.
Fox: You really think so? The procedure itself seems more like a mandatory thing if anything.
Samus: Hey, if it's the only solution to prevent you guys from dying in the skies too earlier, then I for one, think that's a pretty rad safety measure in my- (Eyes Suddenly Begins to Widened at What is In Front of Her in a Mid to Close Distance) Book.....
Fox: Samus? (Turns to Samus' Direction) What are you looking- (Eyes Begins to Widened as Well) at?.....
Much to their shock and disbelief, the duo's eyes heavily focus on a group of make Piantas fawning over a dark blue skinned woman who looks almost exactly like Samus (Except she has blue hair instead if blonde). All while the song "Milkshakes" by Kelis is playing in the background.
Samus: Fox.
Fox: Yeah?
Samus: Who is that woman and why does she looks exactly like me?
Fox: Samus, I am just as confused by all of this as you are right now. I have no idea.
????: That, lady and Tramp, is the newly, sort of improved Dark Samus.
Fox: (Gets Startled a Bit Once He Turns and See the Infamous Face of.....) Hades!?
Hades: 'Sup, bitches. (Takes a Sip of Fox's Drink Loudly For a Whopping Ten Seconds Second Before Giving it Back to Him)
Fox: (Sighs While Rolling his Eyes) You keep it.
Hades: (Shrugs) Your loss. (Continues Sipping the Drink)
Samus: Hades, what the hell is going on here?
Hades: DS wanted to wear a nice looking swimsuit in the beach. So she decided to transform into your usual, suit-less appearance. (Starts Smirking Smugly) And her and her milkshakes managed to bring ALL the boys to the yacht. Even Ridley fallen over heels for her too.
Fox: You're kidding?
Hades: Can't say that I am really. The poor fool has been love struck the moment he set his eyes on her. He even started singing some old love song every chance he gets. I think it's called "Suddenly" or something. I don't know.
Fox: I honestly can't believe....
Samus: (Already Crossing her Arms While Looking Away) ('Tch') I can. He might as well be the biggest incel on the face of the Earth at this point.
Hades: Oh please. He already is one a long time ago. But we still love him all the same.
Samus Yeah. No. I STILL fucking hate him.
Fox: (Shrugs) I don't really care for him that much personally.
Hades: Yeesh. Harsh crowd. But pretty accurate none the less. (Groans a Bit Once He Noticed Ridley Making his Way to Dark Samus With a Acoustic Spanish Guitar From a Distance) Speaking of which, looks like our lover boy is about to put in a live performance as we speak.
Fox: I doubt it'll be any good.
Samus: His voice already sounds like nails on a chalkboard, Foxy. Of course his singing is going to be god awful.
Hades: (Starts Smirking Evilly Again) Wanna bet how disastrous it gonna get?
Samus: I'm not much of a betting woman, but you're on.
Fox: (Facepalms Himself While Sighing)
@keyenuta
@caleb13frede
@26shann
@cyber-wildcat
@albion-93
@ma-lemons
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bolinshipskorrasami · 4 years ago
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Like a Comet Pulled From Orbit
Author’s Note: Alright ghouls, gals, and gents. Been working on this fic all week to beat away the angst that AoaW left me with! My first (and probably only?) Lumity fanfic, minimally edited. I honestly have no idea how it turned out, I’ve been staring at it too long. But I hope someone enjoys it!
Read here on ao3 if you prefer!
Summary:  Luz takes Amity to see the musical Wicked in the human world. Conversations about shipping and drawing of fanart ensues, which helps both witches come to some long overdue realizations.
Like a Comet Pulled From Orbit
The winter air was crisp and cold as Luz exited the theater. Her nostrils burned for a moment as she breathed it in and her body adjusted to the difference from the warmth of the building. She glanced over towards Amity who was adjusting her scarf tighter around her neck, just a few steps behind her.
“So, what did you think?” she blurted out excitedly, unable to contain the question. She had been watching Amity’s reactions almost more than the show itself throughout the performance – Luz couldn’t help it. She was excited to share this with the other witch. For one, it was Amity’s first trip to the human world with her, so she wanted it to be a perfect and amazing experience for her friend. For another, Luz herself had seen Wicked on at least two other occasions with her mami. And listened to the soundtrack almost as endlessly as she had read books one through five of Good Witch Azura. Experiencing it through Amity’s reactions was like experiencing it for the first time all over again.
Amity didn’t answer right away, her brow creasing in that cute way Luz noticed it did whenever she was thoughtfully contemplating an answer to one of Luz’s questions. Luz always admired the amount of thought Amity put into her answers, so she always tried to give Amity the patience she needed.
In the meantime, she watched the crowd dispersing in the street and caught a snowflake with her tongue. It had started to flurry while they had been in the theater and a thin coat of snow littered the sidewalk and street around them. The way the snowflakes danced in the glow of the evening streetlights reminded her of her first light spell in the Boiling Isles. Despite being in the human world, Luz felt like tonight held so much magic within it, if only she could read the glyphs around her.
“It was really interesting… The music was so beautiful… you know, we don’t have music like that in the Boiling Isles,” Amity’s voice brought Luz back and she turned to face the green haired girl once more. Snow was starting to stick to the dark blue beanie she had borrowed from Luz to hide her ears – a detail they both might have forgotten, if not for Luz’s mama mentioning it on their way out the door. Luz thought it was a shame Amity had to hide any part of herself – but she did have to admit that her friend looked very adorable in the beanie. She might just have to let her keep it…
“Luz, are you even listening?” Luz’s attention snapped back to find an amused expression on her friend’s face. She returned a sheepish smile. “Sorry! Yes! I was also just thinking, we should find someplace warm to talk!” Okay, not exactly what she had been thinking, but close enough. She did notice Amity’s face was turning pink from the cold. Amity nodded in agreement.
“I think I know the perfect place, c’mon!” and with that, Luz grabbed Amity’s gloved hand and began to pull her down the snowy street.
 ***
 “After you, Miss Blight,” Luz said as she opened the door to the coffee shop with dramatic flair and flourish, giving an overexaggerated bow as she gestured for Amity to enter. Amity, for her part, rolled her eyes but let out a small giggle, which warmed Luz’s stomach more than any coffee probably could.
They approached the counter together, and Luz began going over all the different drinks and giving her recommendations. Amity looked very overwhelmed. Luz gave her usual order of a caramel macchiato (made with almond milk, of course) with extra expresso. When the barista looked to Amity, she simply said “I’ll have one of those, too.”
Luz grinned and took out the cash her mom had given her before they left. Amity took out her own coin purse at the same time. Luz laughed and placed her hand on Amity’s, pushing the bag back down. “My treat! I don’t think they take snails here,” she whispered behind her other hand. She watched as Amity’s cheeks reddened and she mumbled a thanks.
They sat down with their drinks a few minutes later. The coffee shop was fairly empty, which made sense given how late in the evening it was. It felt nice to have Amity’s attention all to herself in such a warm, cozy place, away from the commotion of the Boiling Isles, away from school.
“So, did you have a favorite song?” Luz asked, slurping at her whipped cream.
Amity blinked rapidly, as if she was coming out of a dream. “What?”
“From the show,” Luz added, realizing her mind had probably jumped from point A to point Z as it sometimes did.
Amity’s cheeks glowed as she replied, “Oh, right… Well… all of them were so good, it’s hard to pick a favorite.”
“I know, right?!” Luz agreed, nearly spilling her drink in her excitement. She caught it just in time and Amity’s laughter rang out prettier than sleigh bells. The sound made Luz’s insides squirm and for a moment she wondered if they had put dairy in her drink by accident.
“But… if I had to pick… I really liked that one near the end that Elphaba and Glinda sang together. I thought it was sweet.” Amity looked down at her drink as she finished her thought. She had taken the cover off and was swirling it around, as if she were in the oracle track trying to read a crystal ball or tea leaves maybe. “What… is this exactly?”
“It’s deliciousness in a cup! Try it!” Luz responded, taking another gulp. Amity sipped slowly, with the kind of poise Luz only ever saw in commercials when people drank beverages. How did she do things so gracefully anyway? She watched Amity’s reaction with the anticipation of someone watching their favorite grudgeby team go for a goal.
Amity’s face lit up like the stage lights in the opening number as she let out a drawn out “mmmmmm” of satisfaction. “It’s good, right?” Luz said for confirmation, grinning ear to ear.
“It’s so different from anything on the Boiling Isles!” Amity agreed. They sat in a moment of silence, enjoying their drinks.
“Don’t you find it kind of… sad though?” Amity said suddenly.
Luz tilted her head in confusion. “Did you already finish your drink? I can get you another one –”
Amity shook her head, smiling at Luz’s reaction. “No, I meant the show. I mean, Glinda lost her best friend…”
Luz considered this. “Yeah, I suppose you’re right, that is sad. But I mean, she had still had Fiyero!”
“Yeah, I guess… I don’t know, their relationship seemed kinda of… contrived. I mean, one minute he’s with Glinda about to get married and then he suddenly runs off with Elphaba?”
“No way! He was inspired by her the whole time though. And when they saved that little lion cub together… I mean, talk about romance!”
Amity scoffed, “Yeah, but Elphaba and Glinda had so much more chemistry, even when they were singing about how much they hated each other-”
Luz gasped, genuinely surprised but understanding now. “You’re a Gelphie shipper?!”
Amity looked like she didn’t know whether she should deny this as some sort of insult or defend it to the death. Probably because she had no clue what Luz was talking about. “A what now?”
“You know, Glinda and Elphaba, Gelphie. It’s their ship name!” Luz pulled out her phone and typed furiously until she had several bits of fanart sprawled across her screen. She held it out in front of Amity’s face.
“Oh,” was all her friend replied, her mouth accentuating the syllable as it stayed in place and her golden eyes darted across the screen. She regained her composure after a few moments, blinking rapidly.
“Well… yes. I suppose I am a… Gelphie shipper then,” Amity sat up straighter as she said it but her face held something that was difficult for Luz to read. Funny how she could read magical glyphs from an enchanted island but her friend’s face was, at times, absolutely indecipherable. “Is that… bad?” Amity asked, and Luz realized she hadn’t responded in an appropriate amount of time.
She gave a laugh, hoping to dispel some of the tension. “No! Of course not. I mean, who doesn’t love a good old-fashioned Enemies to Friends to Lovers trope, amiright?” Luz waggled her eyebrows suggestively for emphasis. Amity tried to hide her smile in her coffee cup, but Luz could tell her plan had worked.
The commotion of chairs scraping the floor and being stacked on tables suddenly penetrated their little bubble, reminding Luz how late it was. “We should probably get going – I wanna make one last stop on our way back to my house!” She informed Amity excited, standing and putting her coat back on.
“Lead the way, oh fearless champion,” Amity replied, a more reserved imitation of Luz’s gestures from earlier. Luz smiled and took her hand, leading her out the door. They weren’t even outside completely before Amity’s face was already pink from the cold again.
 ***
 Amity’s heart was beating so fast and hard as she followed Luz through the strange hard and slippery roads of the human world. She wondered for a moment if maybe coffee was poisonous to witches… then again, Luz hadn’t let go of her hand even after they had exited the coffee shop, walking quickly and excitedly chattering as they went. She supposed that could have something to do with it.
Luz pointed out different things that Amity might not be familiar with and normally Amity would be fascinated to learn about this strange new world. But the hand holding was very distracting. And her heart was very loud. And it was all a little overwhelming, but she really didn’t want it to end. She watched Luz as she spoke about human things like cars, traffic lights, and a thing called “Santa” they passed by. He appeared to be some sort of… demon maybe? He rang a bell and smiled too widely and made a strange sort of howling noise. Luz paid him a tribute – perhaps for safe passage across the road? - of the strange papers she carried around that seemed to act as the equivalent to snails in the human world.
“Where are we going?” Amity finally asked as Luz paused her tour guide-like speech to look both ways before tugging her across the road toward a small park they had passed on the way here.
“It’s a surprise! Don’t worry, we’re almost there,” Luz squeezed her hand reassuringly, excitement dancing across her features, making the warm brown of her cheeks glow in the moonlight.
As they entered the park and Amity began to look around, she realized it wsn’t moonlight at all. It was what looked to Amity to be a million different stars – or maybe they were light spells? – glowing in the trees all around them. Some of them sparkled in a kaleidoscope of color – red, green, blue, yellow. It was absolutely dazzling, unlike anything Amity had ever seen.
“Oh wow…” was all Amity could manage to say, staring in awe at the scene around them.
“Pretty cool, huh?” Luz said proudly with a big grin, as if she had personally produced all these little lights for Amity.
“It’s… amazing. What is this place, Luz? I thought you said the human world didn’t have magic?” Amity took her glove off and reached out her hand to hesitantly hover over the enchantment of the trees.
Luz gave a chuckle. “It’s not magic – well, I mean, not like on the Boiling Isles. These are Christmas lights. They use electricity like the streetlights around town.” Luz reached out and placed one in Amity’s hand, as if sensing her uncertainty. Amity pinched the light between her fingers, feeling its fragile little warmth against her skin.
“How strange,” she commented. “Everything here is so wonderfully strange…” Amity’s voice trailed off as she continued to look around her. The collective brightness in the trees lit up the space around them in a hazy glow. It made the whole moment feel more like a dream than reality.
“C’mon, there’s more to see! This path will take us closer to my house, too,” Luz said, breaking Amity out of her trance. Luz grabbed her arm this time, tugging her along.
As they walked, the lights morphed into different shapes and figures. Luz explained this was all for some human holiday and pointed out some of the different symbols for Amity. A candy cane. A reindeer. A gingerbread man (that one she was pretty sure that one was actually a demon from the Boiling Isles, but she didn’t mention it). Amity wasn’t sure what was more beautiful – the glorious and picturesque glow of the lights with the snow falling around them onto the trees; or Luz as she spoke excitedly about each light picture, sometimes elaborating with a story about her mom or growing up in the human world. Amity never wanted it to end.
***
By the time they got back to Luz’s house, it was late and they were both exhausted from all the walking and being in the cold for so long. Luckily, Luz’s mom – Ms. Noceda (who Amity had learned earlier, was not in fact, named Ms. the Human) – had already made up their sleeping arrangements in Luz’s bedroom. She asked them how the show was and while Amity said a few things here and there when asked directly, she mostly let Luz do the talking. Ms. Noceda was very warm and kind to her – which was more than she could probably say for how her parents would ever treat Luz. It made her feel a bit guilty, that she couldn’t return the same favor to Luz. But she tried not to think about that.
Which, as it turned out, was very easy once Ms. Noceda turned in.
“Buenos noches, mija. Good night, Amity. See you both bright and early!” she said as she kissed Luz on the forehead and waved at Amity. They were both in their respective sleeping bags on the floor beside Luz’s bed. When Ms. Noceda flicked the lights off, hundreds of stars lit up the ceiling of Luz’s room. Amity was left alone with the sound of her own obnoxious heartbeat. Where she was expected to sleep. Next to the girl she liked. Why had she agreed to this again?
“I still can’t believe you got your parents to say yes to a sleepover in the human world!” Luz whispered conspiratorially.
“Heh, yeah, I mean, no big deal…” Amity said, glad the lack of light would hide her blush. She may have left out a few details. Like how she had, in fact, used a combination of blackmail and bribery on Edric and Emira in order to get them to produce an illusion copy of herself for bedtime and breakfast. She was going to be doing their chores for a very long time.
“You know, I think this is my first real sleepover,” Luz said. Amity looked at her, surprised. “Really?”
“Well, I mean, there was that one time Willow, Gus, and I used the Moonlight Conjuring to take the Owl House for a drive…” Amity laughed, remembering the look on Boscha’s face when she had seen that on Penstagram. Not that hers had probably looked any different.
“But, I’m not really sure that counts, since we didn’t get much sleep,” Luz continued thoughtfully.
“You didn’t have any sleepovers with any of your human friends?” Amity asked, still somewhat surprised by this revelation.
“Heh… No. I didn’t really… I don’t have any human friends, really,” the tone in Luz’s voice pinched at Amity’s heart a bit. In all the time they’d known each other, she had never really thought to ask about Luz’s life in the human world or her other friends. And now she knew why Luz herself had never mentioned any, either. Instinctively – whether to comfort herself or Luz, she wasn’t quite sure – Amity reached hand out to grasp one of Luz’s.
“Well, I’m glad we’re friends, Luz,” Amity said. She wasn’t sure she’d ever be brave enough to tell Luz everything she felt for her – it felt too big, too fragile. She was too afraid of it breaking. But she needed Luz to know this truth at least. That she mattered. That she was grateful to have her around.
Luz’s eyes widened in surprise at first, but a warm smile quickly followed as she squeezed Amity’s hand back. “Me too. Even if you are going soft on me, Blight,” Luz replied playfully. Amity rolled her eyes and yawned, which made Luz yawn too.
They laid there, eyes drooping heavily as sleep began to take them both. The small part of Amity’s mind that was still conscious enough to have a coherent thought realized that Luz hadn’t let go of her hand, even as her breathing slowed and she began to snore quietly. In that moment, as she let herself drift off to sleep, she decided that even if she had to do Ed and Em’s chores for the rest of eternity, it was totally worth it.
***
The next day, Luz kissed her mama good-bye – she still had a week left of winter vacation and that meant more time at Hexside. That was part of the deal – as long as Luz kept her grades up and didn’t cause too much commotion at human school, her mami had agreed that she could spend vacations learning magic in the Boiling Isles. She and Amity packed up their things from their sleepover and met Eda at the portal. She gave them a ride to school on her staff. Luz was sad to leave the human world behind if only because she had really enjoyed showing Amity around. Amity had seemed so relaxed... Maybe it had been stepping away from the pressures of her life in the Boiling Isles.
School that day was hard to sit through. This wasn’t unusual for Luz, but it didn’t usually happen during her classes at Hexide. Her mind kept drifting away from the lectures and into the magic of last night. Watching Amity take her first sip of coffee, listening to Amity talk about the show, watching her experience Christmas lights for the first time…
“Hello, earth to Luz!” suddenly a hand was waving in her face. She blinked before looking at Gus and Willow.
“Wha- Sorry! What’d I miss?” Luz asked. Gus and Willow exchanged looks.
“You mean besides all of class?” Gus said. He looked down at the paper in front of Luz, which she had been doodling on.
“You better not zone out like that in Magical Plants today. We’re dealing with man-eating mandrakes today!” Willow said with a nudge. “What were you drawing anyway?”
Luz looked down at her latest creation. “Oh, it’s just characters from that musical Amity and I saw last night…” Luz suddenly felt like she wanted to hide it, like it was a private secret she wasn’t quite ready to share with the rest of her friends. Which was… weird. That was probably a weird feeling to have, right? She nonchalantly slipped it into her bag and stood up to move to the next class with her friends. Willow gave her a funny look but didn’t say anything more.
“Well I’ve got High Level Illusions next – what about you guys?” Gus asked as they walked into the hallway.
“I’ve got abomination next,” Luz said excitedly. She swore she saw Gus and Willow exchange another look. Then again, maybe she was reading too much into it.
“We’ll see you and Amity at lunch then?” Willow asked. Luz nodded, high fived Gus, and practically ran down the hallway to her next class, just barely avoiding a hall monitor as she went.
***
Abomination class went by much more quickly than the rest of her day had and she had even managed to pay attention to most of the lesson. There was the occasional distraction, like whenever she looked over to Amity who sometimes chewed on her pencil when she was thinking through an answer. She also must have gotten distracted when mixing her abomination ingredients at some point, because while Amity’s looked absolutely perfect, Luz’s had come out with an extra head and oddly misshapen. It wasn’t a total loss though, since she had managed to get Amity to laugh by trying to get her abomination to reenact one of the scenes from the show from last night.
She walked Amity to her locker after class – Amity’s abomination carried both their books – and they were first to their lunch table. While waiting for Gus and Willow, they talked more about the finer points of the musical.
“So, how was your date in the human world?” Willow asked as she and Gus sat down across from Luz and Amity.
Luz almost choked on whatever mystery meat she was eating for lunch today – she pounded her fist on her chest to clear her throat. “Date?” she choked out. Is that- did Amity think- had she really missed…?
She heard a strangled gasp from beside her and turned to look at Amity, who returned her gaze. Her face was as red as a specific shade of eye shadow she’d seen Eda wear once. She was pretty sure it was called apple blood – or maybe it was vampire blood? In any case, their eyes darted between each other and Willow, both stunned into silence.
Willow’s eyes widened, as if she just realized her mistake. “Oh – I just mean, um-“ whatever excuse she was going to use to save them all from this mortifying moment, Gus put a stop to it just then as he arrived at their table and took his seat next to Willow.
“Hey Luz! Do you have time to stop by after school today and check out some new artifacts I found for the H.A.S.?”
Luz finally swallowed the mouthful she had dislodged from her throat. “Sure!” she said. She then proceeded to shove way more of her lunch into her mouth than she should have, cheeks full as a chipmunk’s before winter.
“I- I just remembered um, I have a meeting with Principal Bump about my class schedule – I gotta go!” Amity stood up abruptly, bumping the table as she went. She disappeared down the hallway with alarming speed. As she moved, something dropped out of her bag, fluttering to the floor.
“Amity wait! You forgot-” Luz tried to call after her, but she was already gone. She bent to pick up the paper – there was a good chance she’d run into her later in the day and she could give it back to her then…
But as Luz looked at the paper in question, it was as if a firecracker went off in her stomach and her mind blanked out, like static on a TV, before the entire picture snapped back on, clearer than it had ever been. “Oh cramity…” she muttered to herself, realization flooding through her.
Gus and Willow, having witnessed all of this, shared a glance with each other. “Are you and Amity okay?” Gus asked, a puzzled look on his face.
“Yeah… I might need to raincheck you on the HAS meeting though, Gus! There’s something I gotta do after school today! I’ll explain later, gotta go!” and with that Luz launched herself from the table, vibrating with excitement and purpose.
As she fled the cafeteria, she heard Gus’s confused reply. “Sure! Good luck! Wait… what’s a raincheck?”
 ***
The school day could not end fast enough for Amity Blight. She needed to get as far away from this ultimate place of humiliation as quickly as possible. She considered skipping out on her afternoon classes altogether – Ed and Em did it all the time, for crying out loud! – but she couldn’t bring herself to do it. Fortunately, she didn’t have any classes with Luz, Willow, or Gus on her schedule for the day, which was a relief. But what about tomorrow? She thought to herself. Maybe she could convince her parents that she was sick with demon flu? Maybe she could just convince them she should transfer schools altogether… that seemed like a perfectly reasonable solution to this whole crush problem, right?
When the last bell finally screamed, signaling dismissal, she didn’t even go to her locker to put her books away. Too much of a risk, running into Luz again. She needed more time to think, figure out what to say. She had acted way too weird when Willow said the D word. Why hadn’t she just played it cool and waved it off?
She didn’t see Luz and co at all as she made her way out the front doors, for which she was thankful. But ofc ourse that luck only stretched so far as Ed and Em came sidling up beside her.
“Mittens! How was your date night with our favorite human? Did you ask for her hand in marriage yet?” Em cut right to the point, looping their arms together.
“Yeah sis, tell us everything!” Edric’s arm fell over her shoulders as they sandwiched her in, leaving no room for escape. “Leave no details out! Well, except for your smooching, we don’t need to hear about-”
Amity could not handle this right now. She felt her face heat up to what could only be described as an unhealthy degree, embarrassment and anger both boiling over.
“QUIT IT!” she shouted, her arms flying outward, knocking the twins away from her. Everything starts feeling like too much and Amity feels pinpricks behind her eyes. She can’t go home, not like this. Not with Em and Ed teasing her the whole way. “I gotta go study at the library, let mom and dad know I’ll be home later,” Amity says quickly, willing her voice to stay steady as she speeds up her pace.
“Oh c’mon Mittens, was it something we said?” Edric shouted after her. She didn’t stop to reply, just kept her eyes forward, determined to get to her destination as quickly as possible.
***
As soon as she walked into the town library, Amity felt a sense of relief wash over her. She took a deep breath, the scent of paper and dust covered books grounding her. The quiet atmosphere settled her nerves. In here, she felt safe. In here, she can breathe and clear her head of the day’s troubles.
She spent some time just wandering through the stacks, keeping an eye out for new additions in her favorite sections. The anxieties of her day begin to shed little by little, clearing her mind enough for her to rethink the events. Maybe things weren’t really as bad as she had initially thought. Afterall, Luz could be pretty oblivious. There was no reason to lose her head about it all – it’s not like Amity herself had called it a date, after all.
Amity finally found herself in front of the romance section and, after looking around her to be sure no one saw, she tugged at “The Lone Witch and the Secret Room.” Yes, everything was going to be just fin-
Amity froze as she entered her sanctuary and the shelf slid shut behind her. Her bag dropped out of her hands and her eyes widened.
“Luz-”
“Hey Amity!-” they both spoke at the same time, their greetings smashing together awkwardly.
“What are you-”
“I wanted to see-” they both started and stopped again. The absurdity of it all helped ease some of Amity tension and she let out a laugh. Luz followed suit, taking a step closer to where Amity stood still by the doorway.
“Amity, hey, I’m sorry I know this is like, your space and everything. I just… I didn’t know where else to look for you after you left during lunch today…” Luz finally broke through to explain. Amity shifted her weight from one leg to the other, feeling a big guilty. So she had noticed her abrupt exit.
“Leave lunch? Oh, yeah, well, you know, I had to uh, I forgot to turn in my abomination assignment, and I didn’t want it to be late, you know-” Amity grasped for any words that would make this scrutiny disappear. Luz simply raised an eyebrow.
“Did you say you had to meet with Principal Bump…” Luz started and Amity felt her heart lodge itself somewhere in the pit of her stomach.
Luz suddenly shook her head, “You know what, nevermind! It doesn’t matter. What matters is, you dropped this.” Luz pulled out a folded piece of paper, moving into Amity’s space even more now.
Amity took the offered paper and while she unfolded it, she couldn’t help but be reminded of the time Grometheus the Fearbringer had taken her most cherished note and ripped it to pieces right in front of her. The paper, when unfolded, revealed her most recent self-indulgent drawing – a picture of Luz in a black hat and matching black robe standing arm-in-arm with a poorer rendition of herself in a huge blue gown and sparkling tiara. Amity was sure her face would explode with the amount of blood that rushed to it in that moment.
“Luz- I – I can explain-” she began to stutter, her hands gripping the paper tightly. Her vision started to blur just a little and she had the horrifying realization that she might just start to cry. How could she have let this happen? Why in the world would she keep this in her bag? Why hadn’t she realized –
“I think it’s some of your best work,” Luz’s voice derailed her bleak train of thought.
“Wait… what?” Amity’s eyes snapped up to look at the human girl in from of her. Her brown eyes twinkled warmly in the dimly lit room.
“Yep! But, I have to say I don’t quite agree with your characterization,” Luz said matter-of-factly.
“Oh,” was all Amity could manage. Her stomach dropped again and she readied herself for the rejection that was surely coming her way. It would be okay, at least Luz seemed like she would still be her friend, and that’s really all she needed anyway. As long as their friendship was still intact, she could handle this, even if it hurt.
Luz pulled out another sheet of paper. “Yeah, as much as I hate to admit it, I really don’t think I’m Elphaba, the most powerful witch in all of Oz,” Luz placed the second paper over the one Amity had been holding to reveal a new, unfamiliar drawing. Two figures faced each other in a somewhat reverent post, hands clasped between them as they stared at each other. This time, Amity was clearly drawn as Elphaba, her green hair poking through the black witch’s hat, her black robe billowing dramatically in what was clearly supposed to be the wind. Across from her was-
“I’m clearly the Fiyero to your Elphaba,” Luz finished, gesturing to her likeness which was dressed in green suspenders and button up with a scarecrow hat upon her head.
“You… think that I’m Elphaba?” Amity asked incredulously. It was not even the most important question to be asking in that moment, but it was the only one her mouth and brain seemed capable of producing together. She was holding a drawing… that Luz had made… of her. Of them together. Oh.
“Well, yeah, it’s that obvious? I mean, you’re a powerful witch, she’s a powerful witch. You both have that cute, goth look going on for you. Plus, she cares about fairness and I know you like to pretend to be indifferent, but I know you secretly care a lot about those things, too.”
Amity continued to stare at the picture, afraid to look away. Her brain continued to short circuit. Did Luz just call her cute?! “And you’re…”
“Fiyero, yeah! I mean, he is kind of her fearless champion and all that. Plus ‘maybe I’m brainless, maybe I’m wise…’ you know, it took him a while to figure it all out, too.”
Amity’s eyes snapped up from the drawing at this. Was Luz saying… what she thought she was saying? Luz smiled and in a perfectly Luz way, continued on a different train of thought.
“Anyway, I took some artistic liberties with the outfit. I liked the suspender outfit better, but thought the hat really tied it all-”
“Luz,” Amity interrupted. “Luz, it’s perfect. Thank you.” Before Amity fully gave her body permission to, she threw her arms around Luz and squeezed her tightly. Luz hugged her back without hesitation, a rumble of a laugh coming from her chest.
“That’s what girlfriends do,” Luz said quietly. Amity pulled back suddenly, still maintaining contact with her hands grasping Luz’s forearms.
“I mean – only if that’s what you want, of course. I didn’t mean to assume, I just meant-” Luz’s face went through about several different emotions so quickly, Amity couldn’t help but double over in a hearty laugh. All the pressure and uncertainly she had been feeling melted away, leaving her feeling like she was light and airy.
“Sorry, it’s just-” Amity tried to reel in her mirth and catch her breath, forcing words out, “-I’ve been trying to tell you all this for the past year and today you just… show up and call me your girlfriend. It’s just so… you, Luz.” Luz grinned self-consciously, blushing for the first time since Amity had entered her secret hideaway.
They stared at each other, this newfound revelation hovering between them, it’s own little spell casting them in silence. Amity was suddenly aware of her heart pounding in her chest again as she watched Luz take a step forward towards her. “Can I…?” Luz asked, in the same soft tone she had used that night in the woods when she had offered to take the weight of Grom off Amity’s shoulders.
Amity nodded slowly as she followed, leaning in to close the gap very slowly, her eyes fluttering as they closed. This was magical, she couldn’t believe she was here, with Luz, and Luz liked her back and they were about to-
“OOOOOH, Mittens in busted!”
All at once, bright light and noise crashed into the room from behind Amity as Ed’s voice broke through he enchanting atmosphere she and Luz had created for themselves. The jarring burst of their bubble caused Amity to jump forward, feet tripping over Luz’s and causing them both to topple to the floor. She landed on top of Luz, her head bumping Luz’s as she did so. “Ow – Luz! I’m so sorry!” Amity exclaimed, rubbing her forehead with one hand while she tried to push herself up with the other.
Luz let out a gasp of breath, “It’s ok! I’m good,” she said as she sat up on her elbows. She raised an eyebrow as she added, “Though I do believe you’ve fallen for me, Blight.” A cheesy grin spread on Luz’s face.
Before Amity had time to respond to that, she heard the sniggers of Em and Ed, still standing in the doorway. She shot up and whirled around on them. She really did need to find a new hideaway, didn’t she?
“YOU TWO, why are you here?! Get out!” She wished she could summon a fire spell without the fear of burning down the whole ancient library.
Emira walked past her and offered a hand to Luz, who was still on the ground. “Now, Mittens, is that anyway to treat your new girlfriend?” Edric for his part threw an arm around Amity’s shoulders and ruffled her hair. “Would we really be good siblings if we didn’t come check on you? After all, you were looking so sour after school! We were worried!”
“Yeah, but it looks like Luz beat us to it! Who knew the human had game,” Emira said, throwing an arm around Luz and giving her a wink. Luz’s cheeks turned pinker than Amity had ever seen them. She glowered at her sister and shoved her brother’s arm off.
“Get. Out. Now. Or I swear, I am going to summon the world’s biggest abomination to kick your-”
“Alright, alright, we’ll give you two love birds a few minutes. But mom really does want us home soon, Mittens,” Emira said, surprising Amity. She and Edric headed towards the doorway again, laughing together as they went. At the door, Ed shouted over his should, “Just remember to save room for-”
Amity took the nearest book she could find and threw it after him. He dodged gleefully and disappeared around the corner. She turned back to see Luz trying to hide her laughter behind her hand. She wasn’t doing a very good job, but the sight made some of Amity’s annoyance fade away.
“You know, I really should be getting back to Eda’s… King gets grumpy when I don’t come home and give him tummy scritches and Eda will probably be worried since I wasn’t at school to get picked up. I’m surprised they haven’t sent a search party out yet…” Luz said apologetically.
Amity sighed, but nodded. “Yeah, I really should get back home, too.”
Luz shifted her bag back over her shoulder, bouncing from one foot to another. “So… I’ll see you tomorrow at school? Maybe afterwards, we can do some Azura Book Club stuff?”
Amity felt herself brighten at the invitation. “Yeah, that sounds grood. I mean, good, uh great! That sounds great!”
“Okay, it’s a date,” Luz said happily. Then she moved forward and wrapped Amity into a big, squeezing hug, practically lifting her feet off the ground in the process. As she set her down and moved back, Amity felt the unmistakable feeling of Luz’s lips brushing against her cheek. The warmth of the contact spread until her whole face was on fire. Luz looked at her and smiled bashfully. “See you tomorrow, Blight,” and with that, she made her way out the door.
Amity stood there, frozen to the spot, her hand coming up to touch her cheek, as if she could catch the sensation before it fluttered away. Wow.
The moment was broken when, 5 seconds later, Luz came rushing back in.
“I almost forgot!” she said as she snatched up the drawings that had been scattered to the floor. She shook the one that Amity had drawn. “Can I keep this? It’s really good!”
Maybe it was the casual compliment or lingering effects of Luz calling her her girlfriend – her girlfriend – or just the adorable way Luz’s face just looked so genuine, but Amity experienced an unexpected surge of confidence. Before she could overthink it, she stepped forward, took hold of front of Luz’s school uniform, and pulled her into a kiss. It was a quick kiss – short, soft, and sweet. But when she pulled back, she felt satisfied to see Luz sufficiently dumbstruck, eyes widened and cheek turning pink.
“Yes. But only if I get to keep yours,” Amity said, plucking the other sketch out of Luz’s hand. Luz blinked slowly.
“Yeah, you can kave it. Keep it. You can have it!” Luz stuttered out her reply.
Amity grabbed her things, slipping the picture carefully into a book before putting it into her bag. She walked over to the doorway before turning back to Luz. “Coming?”
Luz nodded, following her out. They walked hand in hand out of the library and for once, Amity found it easy to ignore the twin’s teasing.
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waternilly · 4 years ago
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The End of an Era
Ship: Blackleg Sanji x f!OC Language: english Word count: 1.5k Warnings: none Ao3 link: here | Wattpad link: here Summary: Musicals! But what if this time the rivals were lovers in real life?
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Many weeks and hours of hard work had come to their end. Tonight was the big finale of the musical Florence had built with both old and new friends over the semester. It hadn’t gone without troubles, but they had made it in the end.
As she waited between the wings on the side of the stage, the young woman let her mind drift off.
She thought back about the moment Mozart l’Opéra Rock had been announced as this year’s project. How all the students who would graduate in June shared the same excitement and thrill at the prospect.
She remembered the audition and how learning the lyrics to “Si Je Défaille” had been easy, being engraved in her memory ever since she was ten. She also remembered when she had to show up at the next audition to sing “Tatoue-Moi” on demand of her professor.
Florence had already performed as a male character in a previous project and she knew the professor’s demand was far from innocent. They had something in mind.
And she was right. The next week, once auditions for both singers, actors and dancers alike were over, the results were published.
1. Florence Moire ..... Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart
A smile had crept on her face instantly. But what made her even happier was the name just two lines under hers.
3. Sanji Vinsmoke ..... Antonio Salieri
Not only would she perform as the main character of what was probably her favourite musical. The one to act as her rival was her own boyfriend.
Images of her sweet Sanji in black hair and eyeshadow had immediately crossed her mind and she couldn’t wait to see it happen.
That evening, the entire crew had gone to a local student pub and celebrated all night long. Florence lost count of how many times she got congratulated or all the teasing her and Sanji had gotten for acting out rivals.
It was one of Flo’s favourite memories. Everything felt right. No pressure or stress related to the production, school or the internship yet. Only pleasure, joy, excitement.
Rehearsals had started the same week, beginning with a script reading. Songs from the original musical were played whenever they were reached throughout the session. A few voice cracks and poorly acted sentences were uttered, but they were laughed off.
Florence and all the singers then went through some coaching first. Even though they were all decent already, they were still merely amateurs. Some had gotten such lessons the previous years, but everyone welcomed the tips from the teacher with open arms.
While those were reaching their end, they simultaneously started rehearsing with the actors. Their friends had already started learning their lines and now it was time for them to do as well.
To help with that process, Florence would often play the entire musical as background noise while studying or working on anything, to Sanji’s greatest amusement.
He early on realized that the one he tenderly referred to as ‘princess’ was nervous about the pressure put upon her shoulders. He often reminded her that the professor wouldn’t have given her the part if they didn’t believe her to be capable of it. He also loved to add that she would make for a great Mozart and an amazing rival, which would often help her calm down, at least temporarily.
As the dates approached and the rehearsals became longer -every song being performed in their entirety, accompanied by the dancers- the pressure among the whole crew rose. People started worrying about costumes or set pieces not being finished on time, about black outs on stage, about wigs falling off or ladies tripping over their massive dresses.
All of these faded shortly after luckily and everything was done in due time. The final rehearsal in full costume and make up also reassured everyone about what they had created. Which meant, representations could start. But not without some last minute preparations.
Bonney was left with her bright pink hair despite the professor’s reclamations who feared she would steal the show. The young woman’s determination was stronger however and she refused to incline, making her the very first pink haired Constanz Weber.
Luffy, who interpreted everyone’s favourite comic relief, Rosenberg, got his hair coloured grey with sprays often used for Halloween. It was slicked back and his face was painted bright white with two outrageously red spots on the cheeks. All of it, topped off with pencil-drawn eyebrows and two fake moles.
Sanji agreed to changing his style for the occasion. He got his hair dyed in a dark brown and slicked it all back except for one rebellious lock. Needless to say he was a sight for sore eyes like this. But every evening, before the representation, the benevolent make up artists who were fellow students painted his eyes with black eyeshadow, crayon and eyeliner. Black lipstick had also been considered at some point but was eventually discarded. And aside from all of that, he also walked around with black painted nails for a week.
As for Florence, the main thing she had to do was get a haircut. Her pixie hair had grown out during the semester and it required some touch ups. She was the one who had the wildest, most natural hairdo. It only got comped and sprayed to create some extra volume, but nothing too perfect. Her eyes got the same treatment as her lover’s however, which they liked to point out.
And then it was time.
The premiere.
Everyone was nervous to their core while simultaneously trying to help their friends calm down. Singers and actors alike reunited back stage to warm up their voices, a loud buzzing sound filling the room. Dancers took that opportunity to stretch and prepare as well. The entire crew was in its own bubble, in symbiosis with each other. Any conflicts that might have existed before were forgotten for now.
“Are you nervous, my love?” Sanji had asked his girlfriend just before she had to walk on stage.
“Yes,” she admitted.
With a smile, he had said: “You’ll feel better once you’re up there.”
She thanked him with a smile.
“Maybe turn on your microphone before it’s too late though,” he had teased.
Florence agreed, flipped the switch and ran up on stage. Sanji had been right. Merely seconds later, as she was uttering her very first line, she was calm, confident, poised. Every movement, every sentence flowed naturally. She felt good, at home.
To everyone’s surprise, nothing went wrong during the entire first act, which their professor naturally pointed out backstage during the break. They also complimented everyone’s acting, singing and dancing, clearly ecstatic with the result.
Flo knew what would come next. Someone started playing music while another person shouted to turn off the lights. Everyone jumped around and loudly shouted in unison with the music. A few even climbed on the table in the middle of the room to dance on it in a silly way, making the whole crew laugh.
That little tradition remained during the entire week of run, lasting the entire entre act every time. A twenty minute break of partying halfway through the musical.
Except it was now time to walk back on stage for the last time.
A loud ominous music played and Florence stepped into the light.
She gave everything she had in her, jumping and running around on stage.
Sanji then walked up himself, followed by Bonney who gave her best vocal performance yet.
Before long though, they reached the end of the musical and with it, the famous “Vivre à en Crever” scene. The only time Flo got to sing with her boyfriend throughout the entire performance.
She started, careful to keep a steady and clear voice. Then Sanji joined in. And ultimately, they sang together.
It was always one of the most poignant parts of the show and Florence had lost count of how many times she had almost kissed Sanji during it, never giving in however. Until now, whoever didn’t know them personally couldn’t have guessed they were a couple.
But that was about to change as it was time to salute and Florence had an idea in mind.
Once everyone had bowed in their usual position, they all started singing the most famous song of the musical -”Tatoue moi”- to celebrate the final representation. Florence took advantage of the context to ask Bonney to switch places with her since she was traditionally between her and Sanji. Florence wondered if the audience would react and how if they were to. By now, majority of the public wasn’t even from their college.
She started by just tangling their fingers but soon enough they were smiling at each other while singing eye to eye. When they reached the end of the song, Florence stood on the tip of her toes and pecked Sanji’s lips. He only grinned down at her before kissing her back.
Audible gasps, soon followed by extra cheers, could be heard throughout the audience. The public’s reaction was even better than what Flo was hoping for. She imagined the surprise it could be to see two people you pictured as rivals during the past two hours suddenly kiss. It amused her as well.
It might have been her last performance with this great crew of people but Florence had no reason to be sad. They had all gone out with a bang; Ace, Kid, Bonney, Sanji, herself. That night wouldn’t be one of mourning the end of an era. It would be a night to celebrate what they had achieved.
A/N: Bit of a cheesy ending yes, but oh well ^^” Please let me know what you thought of it, I haven’t written 3rd person fanfics in English in literally so long! Also, yeah, OC! Long time since I last wrote one. Any comments are welcome ^^ Thank you very much for reading <3
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qveenpoppy · 5 years ago
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z2 thoughts
i wasn't able to watch it live and got distracted on friday night when i tried catching up after the fact so i just compiled all my thoughts into one list rather than a bunch of live blogging posts.. enjoy!
bucky's still anti-zombie, huh? at least there are some zombies on the cheer squad now (including bonzo!!! good for him!!!)
ohhh they got some good choreo over on z-team at cheer camp!
the zombietown theater's main showing is a werewolf movie…. i smell foreshadowing!
"i've decided to be school president" can like zed run just so bucky loses the election
WHO IS IN THE SHRIMP COSTUME, it's bothering me… can it get a luke benward cameo
AW SOFT BOY BONZO I LOVE YOU (also if he wrote her name, does this mean he's learning english? or is there just no zombie version of "bree")
"i thought werewolves were just myths" "yeah like cavities" WHY ARE THESE MOVIES SO FUNNY
"i'm always looking like a snack" god
zed getting down on one knee to ask addison to prawn is so pure
also addison rejecting the promposal… the rapunzel/eugene energy is off the charts
i like that the football coach has a little more to do in this movie, even if he's comic relief
IS THAT WYATT IN THE PUBLIC WORKS UNIFORM???? IS HE UNDERCOVER OR SOMETHING??? HIDING OUT AMONGST HUMANS???
why did i lowkey predict that
i was honestly just wondering why this seemingly bg character suddenly got more screentime
are these werewolves ever gonna go full wolf or is this it
ohhh so they just think addison is the alpha… it's probably gonna be a mistake
yo why does this wolf song slap
wow i also called zed running against bucky… huh. does this violate any monster laws?
it's crazy how easily they agreed to let werewolves in the school
OH THIS SONG ALSO SLAPS, kinds gives me "chillin like a villain" vibes
baby ariel (is she wynter in this movie?) is kind of adorable. reminds me of… brena, is it? jane from descendants. where is the crossover fic where they're girlfriends
(on the subject of crossover ships… carlos/wyatt please. it'd be cool for his dog fear to result in him getting beastie bfs)
pls tell me they actually got new choreographers for this film bc the choreo is so fucking good
(not that it was inherently bad in z1 but i feel like all the non-"BAMM" numbers were meh in terms of choreo, this movie is like that quality choreo but for EVERY NUMBER!!! and we love to see it)
wynter on the football team pls and thank you
i thought bonzo spoke english for a moment ajfhshd, pls let him learn some english, he clearly understands it but why tf can't he speak it
bonzo is taller than zed, pass it on
the aspect ratio is so jarring considering this is a made for TV movie
i recognize that "fired up" music!!!
also bonzo in pink is so good, i have to say
fine smelling wyatt?????? what????? how does he smell good he's half dog??????
bucky is still a prejudice SoB huh
if addison is actually a wolf i'll scream, it doesn't make sense
also can we stop having dcom couples break up in every movie, it's so tired. give us healthy relationships 2k20
"says the girl who wore a wig her whole life" ZED NO
is this actually the same school as the last film, like the gym looks the same but we're suddenly seeing a lot more hallways???? guess they got a bigger budget to build more sets
there are tears in zed's eyes… milo manheim oscar when
why is it bothering me that zed's jacket has one long sleeve and one short
everyone in the bg has pastel clothes but the cheer costumes have hot pink in them… hmm. interesting choice
gotta go my own way has been found dead in 2007 (in other words this duet slaps)
"WE BELONG TOGETHER", i'm gonna cry
are those pink marshmallows in her hot cocoa
wynter is baby
do the werewolves actually just… live in the middle of the woods? they're not actually animals… (or will they actually go full wolf?)
okay how does bree understand bonzo when he speaks zombie
why is the score so intense, i know it's a dramatic scene but it's like theater level intense
they have different connotations of howls……. okay. do the writers realize wolves can communicate other ways, right? growls, hisses, barks?
i guess addison could be a werewolf if her parents adopted her but why would they knowingly raise a werewolf as human if that were the case????
yo this song slaps too
descendants soundtracks found dead in a ditch
this song sounds so summer-y, it's hard to explain. like such a good beach song
wyatt/addison……… cute. can she have two monster boyfriends?
(yes and then wyatt gets dp'd by her and zed during his heats)
i hate addison's alpha look though i have to admit, let her be a cute baby, she ain't no fierce alpha
full zombie zed…… Hot
throw me onto the bed like that bby
we do deserve explanation for the white hair but werewolf just doesn't seen like it, there has to be another explanation
did the wolves always exist while zombies were just created? this universe is wack
this is why you need to plan your trilogies out instead of throwing darts at a board and seeing what sticks
"you like sunsets too, that doesn't mean you're a vampire" DO VAMPIRES EXIST HERE TOO?!
if vamps exist and we get z3 can they cast thomas doherty as one of said vamps for irony
or luke newton so i can write the fanfic where ben and sean are vampire bfs
(anyone else watch the lodge?)
if she's not a werewolf, will that necklace just kill her?
"stay out of our amazing hair" you can't just have a line like that in a dramatic moment
oh zed stole the necklace… Good
a rapping debate… second time disney tries ripping off hamilton. ironic now that they own hamilton.
bucky can't even rap, he automatically loses my vote
"dude, you eat brains" "if i did, you don't have one, so you'd be safe" OHHHHHHHHH
bucky = republicans, zed = democrats
zed's dancing making me nostalgic for milo's dwts season… take me back 😭
OH NO THE MOON STONE FUCKED WITH THE ZBAND
this is like the best dcoms wow
i mean sans the wolf addison thing
it feels more like a cw show than a disney movie and for that reason, i fucking love this
this is also the best dcom soundtrack since lemonade mouth, 0 cringe songs so far
saw this comment on twitter but yeah what is the point of the water here, are they just trying to copy d2?
you know this is also a really well-timed movie considering how a bunch of teens are standing up to the adults bc the teens know better… hopefully this is foreshadowing for the election to come later this year
"flesh and bone" is also 100% the best song in the movie, i might have chills
ngl i expected addison's dad to override zed's dad's order but i guess there isn't enough time for more drama in this movie
i lied there is time for more drama lol
explosions in a dcom, that's new
BONZO AND BREE ARE HOLDING HANDS
are bucky and the aceys all each other's prom dates??? is disney saying poly rights???
A SOMEDAY REPRISE????
the only valid reprise in dcom history
what's with the earthquake?
THE GROUND IS BREAKING??? WTF
oh the moon stone is underground
"you said that perfectly" WYATT/BONZO CRUMBS GOD BLESS
okay now this end number sounds like a fun halloween bop 😅
bucky really wasn't redeemed do the writers realize this
ZEDDISON KISS HELL YEAH
there's still 5 mins left on the dvr… wait
ALIENS?!?!?!?!
ADDISON'S AN ALIEN?!?!?!
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darklingichor · 5 years ago
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Carry On by Rainbow Rowell *Major Spoilers*
I wrote a little about this book last month, but I want to write more. This is one of those books that has been lingering in my brain so what follows will be long and rambling.
Now, I haven't read Fangirl I've been pulled more toward action adventure and humor in my fiction, for a while now. Hmm, I wonder what could have happened a few years back  that would cause a Pacific Northwest liberal to feel the need for escape? Just one of those things, I suppose.
I need to read it, if only because I wrote Harry Potter fanfic for years and sort of lost myself in it right after high school.
Anyway.
I've heard people calling Carry On an HP knock off. I don't get this. Simon Snow is obviously Fangirl's Harry Potter. That makes Carry On more of a tongue in cheek homage to HP and stories like it as well as something of a love letter to fanfic writers.
A lot of the main characters start out as your standard for this type of story. "The Hero", "The Mentor", "The Damsel", "The Enemy", "The Unspeakable Evil."
Through the book it becomes clear that our hero is well meaning but ill-suited for the role that his mentor thinks he place him in. The mentor is shown to be unhinged. The damsel is sick of screaming and doesn't want to be in the story at all. The enemy is love sick for the hero and dealing with the puberty from hell. The unspeakable evil, isn't. Its just an unforeseen byproduct of the mentor's plan, in which, the hero, is a pawn.
The book plays with archetypes and I read some of them as being fairly meta about their expected place in the story.
Agetha, especially, seems to know her role and resent it. She's who is saved by the hero, whether she likes it or not.
Baz is so certain of his role as "The Enemy" that until his role flips, he's sure his destiny is to be killed by the person he's in love with.
Simon knows his role so well, he's on auto pilot as a defence mechanism. He's either going to die, or he'll get a stock Happily Ever After. He doesn't even allow himself to think too much about what really matters to him, because he knows his life isn't really his.
I would have loved this book because of everything I wrote above, but add to it the nods to fan contribution? It was enough to make me remember my old ff.n login!
I don't know if Rainbow Rowell researched fan fiction but I figure she must have.
I mean, the things I saw played with and reshaped in Carry On, are fanfic tropes. Rowell took things that grew out of fans having fun with their favorite characters and made them canon.
Main character going out with an exchange student, pop culture references, evil good guy, and:
Four words: Draco is a vampire.
Sure, not every fic that used these were the best, but so what? Many were sincere.
What better way to go to Hogwarts as a person raised outside the UK than to live though an OC in an exchange program?
It was weird that no one in the wizard world listened to muggle music, watched movies or TV. Even the muggleborns? I'm sorry, but I was in the same age range as the characters. In fact, if Harry were real, he would be three years older than me. You can't convince me that there were not at least a couple of muggleborns who were  sending an owl a week to remind their parents to tape Friends or My So-Called Life.
There were a fair few stories where Dumbledore or even Harry turned out to be evil. Even before we found out Dumbledore wasn't a saint. It can be fun to play with expectations and Dumbledore was too perfect for too long.
The vampire thing? I mean, why not? Either Draco or Snape. It fits enough for a fic, and you can get some fun stuff out of it. Besides Hogwarts allowed a warewolf, why not a vampire?
The point is, this book reminds me of some goofy fics I read but also reminds me of some that I sometimes have to remind myself aren't canon, because fan fiction can be amazing.
Example: It has been years but I still remember a great fic that someone wrote about Uric The Oddball's years at Hogwarts. I don't remember much about it off hand but I do know that if I re-read HP, when Uric is mentioned, I think of this story like it is something that is actually in the history of the series. (Dude, I googled "Uric the Oddball fan fiction" on a whim. Popped right up: Uric the Oddball and the Wild Hunt by Ariana Deralte. Guess I shouldn't be surprised! Maybe I should read it again to see if it's still as good as I remember).
So yeah, Carry On is so not an HP knock off and has a number of things that I think make me like it more.
The first one is diversity. It is very nice to have it explicitly said in the text that characters are of different ethnicities, sexualities, and abilities. Watford is a far better representation of a population than Hogwarts is, outside of fanfic (It wasn't there, people wrote it in).
Then there is magic itself, it comes from somewhere it's in the environment, it has to do with celestial alignment, people give words power to channel that energy.
That brings me to something that made me adore the world building here.
The actuality of Simon Snow's universe is that Mages cannot exist independently without the Normals. Without the Normals giving weight and meaning to turns of phrase, rhyme and songs, the Mages couldn't do what they do. Add to that, this means that magic is ever evolving and the Mages must learn about and be a part of, to some extent, the Normal world. This makes Mages who look down on Normals seem even more ridiculous.
I also think this book handled romance better than Harry Potter. I don't know what it was but the relationships seemed awkward and strained in HP. Maybe it was because most of it was shoved into one book, like Hogwarts's water supply was spiked with hormones? I don't know.
What I do know is that even though Simon and Agetha are going through the motions of being together in this book, they still feel like two people who have been dating for a long time.
We don't get a lot about Penny and her boyfriend, but the way she is described talking about him reminds me of how my best friend would talk about her boyfriends when she was visiting me. The way she would go on, you'd think that he was on the moon instead of 90 miles away. I bought that Penny and her boyfriend enjoy each other's company.
And the biggie. Simon and Baz
I almost didn't read this book for two reasons. First: Vampire main character. I love vampires, but I lived through the deluge of Twilight, True Blood, and Vampire Diaries, not to mention that every other book seemed to be about vampires. Even though I didn't watch or read all of them, I just got vampired out.
Second: I have never been one for the whole "enemies to love interest" thing. The Harry/Draco pairing never spoke to me.  Not that I never read fics that managed that ship well, it was just not my favorite, probably because I just never liked Draco.  I tend to prefer romances that are built on friendship (Remus and Sirius dated each other at some point, and nothing can convince me otherwise).
All that being said, I like the Simon/Baz pairing.
I like that Baz freely admits to the reader that a lot of his tormenting of Simon is pigtail pulling.
I like that Simon is more or less: "I like a guy? A guy who was my nemisis? That's new, let's go for it."
There's none of that "Hate turns to love" shit that I personally can't stand.  None of the "I am evil, yet his light draws me" or "His darkness is so seductive"
Baz isn't a villain needing to rethink his position. He's a slightly snobby guy with a lot of family pressure, who is in love with a dude who has been set up as opposition, by the adults in his life.
Simon isn't a good guy wanting to be bad. He's a guy who is following the path set out for him without giving context to his feelings with thought, because he doesn't think. So, when Baz doesn't show up at the first of the year, Simon knows 3 things for sure:
Baz is his enemy
His enemy is not there
He feels very uneasy about it.
Why?
See numbers 1 & 2
This equals out to "plotting" in Simon's mind because that's what enemies do.
It doesn't dawn on him that he was actually missing Baz and that he has romantic feelings for him until later
I also like the interaction between them. Again, I buy that they like each other. The simpler moments, like sharing food, or being flirty. It also makes sense that Baz is so nervous and guarded about the relationship. It fits that they would bicker and argue while trying to figure every thing out.
The relationships feel authentic.
In fact all of the relationships between  the characters feel authentic.  The sibling relationships between Ebb and Nicky, I know siblings that close. The interaction between Baz and his little sister, I know people like them too. The Friendships; in my opinion, too few friends in fiction are depicted messing with each other or being lovingly annoyed by each other.
I've known my two best friends most of my life. Not a day goes by where one of us doesn't say something that if it was said by anyone else, it would lead to a fight. Said by us, it's funny, or at least something we can't argue with.
So I related when Baz's friend complained that he had wasted his childhood hating Simon now that Simon and Baz were no longer enemies and Baz said: "What else were you going to do with your childhood?"
I spent my 20's with my friends seemingly taking turns crashing at my apartment. I spent most of my time ossulating between wishing they would go home and being glad they were there.
So at the beginning of the book, when Penny won't leave Simon's room? I saw myself in the way Simon felt about it.
That authentic and relatable quality was what I really liked about the quiet - if not Happily Ever After - then the Attempting Normal For Now ending each character got.
Well, as normal as you can get with a story involving  mages, vampires and powerful Elton John songs.
I am a dodecahedron of geekdom, btw and the classic rock side jumped up and down clapping hands at all of the music references (and giggled when Carry On was fallowed by Wayward Son which will be followed by Anyway The Wind Blows). 
And now we come to the reason I have not read the sequel even though it is sitting in a bag with the rest of this year's Powell's haul.
From what I have read, Wayward Son is, at least in part, about what happens after Happily Ever After and ends on a cliffhanger. 
After Happily Ever After with a cliffhanger and no release date... Yeah, that will drive me crazy. I haven't even read the second book and I'm already thinking about the third. Aw man! Who dies? Who breaks up? Who becomes evil?
So, even though road trip stories are right up there with time travel stories as one of my favorites, even though I love the idea of showing a character battling depression, even though I love these characters, period; Wayward Son will stay unread until I run out of new books to read, or the next book's release date is close. Whichever comes first, because I want to think of the characters in their quiet ending ending for a little while.
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forkanna · 5 years ago
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[AO3 LINK] [EF LINK]
NOTES: Sorry for that delay! Holidays got a bit crazy, and I've been sorting out my life since then. Will try to get this posted a bit more regularly from now on!
Also, the theme song for this chapter is "Feeling Of Falling" by Cheat Codes and Kim Petras.
                                             CHAPTER ELEVEN
The corners of my mouth lifted up the tiniest bit. "So… this counts as a date?"
"UGH!" Miss Kawakami got up from the table and crossed to lean against the kitchen bar. Seeing her framed there, between the mini water cooler and the espresso machine, her dress revealing just enough of her back to make my fingertips tingle and my mouth run dry…
'No, Makoto,' I thought to myself. 'Focus. Don't let your weird new gay feelings distract you from helping her.'
"Look. It doesn't have to be a date. This was just the kind of dinner you deserve from a date. Not specifically from me. Not me being your date, I mean, um… if that makes sense."
"Well, why not? I'm already a maid for two of my students. Gave you a bath and let you massage me, put on this dress for you. Why shouldn't I just say 'fuck it all' and throw myself into your arms? Huh?"
There was anger and frustration bleeding through now, and it made me duck my head in fear. "I'm sorry. Y-you can leave, I won't tell anybody you left early. I d-don't want to keep you here if you-"
"No, that's exactly what you want. Right?" Finally, she turned, and she was shaking with anger. "I told you already that this can't happen, and here it is. Happening. What gives you the right to just ignore my wishes? Like I'm not the grown up here!"
"O-oh," I breathed softly, shutting down. Like a puppet with its strings cut. "You're right. I apologise."
"Makoto, what…?" Then she sighed in exasperation, throwing up both hands. "See? You act like a little kid getting yelled at! Why aren't you yelling right back at me? This is not how it would work if we were equals in this relationship! What the hell am I saying? We're not even in one! Oh my GOD…"
"Hey, it's alright," I said, finally rising from the table as I kept my voice low. "Listen. I'm… I'll go to my bedroom for a few minutes. Please enjoy your meal, and… if you're gone when I come back out, I'll underst- understand."
My voice had broken on the last word but I tried to recover quickly as I strode away from the table, the room spinning. Sadayo didn't do anything, but she did watch me go, trembling as she stood there trying to weather the blunt force of a million different emotions buffeting her all at once.
Something I could relate to.
I had only been laying on my bed for a minute or two, tears rolling down into the pillow silently as I stared at the wall, when I heard a soft knock at the door. "Come in," I said as I hastily blotted at my eyes with the tissue in my hands.
"Hey," she breathed. My lights were off, so all I could see was the halo of her slightly messy hair from the backlighting. "I, um… I seem to have lost my appetite."
"That's fine. I'll clean it up later, and… Sae and I can have the leftovers. She'll just wonder why I made duck. I'll get your money in a m-"
"I'm not leaving yet," she reassured me. "Can I sit?" I nodded, so she sat on the very edge of my bed, not quite far enough back so that we were touching. "So… now it's my turn to apologise."
"For what? You didn't do anything wrong."
"No, I did. I really overreacted out there, I… don't know why I did that. Well, I do, but it doesn't make it okay."
Eyes still blurry, I glanced up at her face that I could see a tiny bit better now. She looked pale, and scared, but not nearly as two-steps-from-crazy as she did before. Her eyes closed for a moment as she contemplated the situation, chose her next words carefully.
"You aren't… the only one."
"Hm?"
"You aren't the only one who feels this… pull toward each other." Another breath to steel herself. "I couldn't tell you when it started, or why, or how I could actually feel anything this strong for a girl in my class. But it's real and it's there."
Now I sat up a little more on my elbows. "What are you saying? Do you-"
"Wait," she bade me with a hand raised. "The thing is, that doesn't change the situation. You're a kid! And my student - and my boss when you request me through the agency. It's so messy… and I'm straight, so even if we did anything with these crazy feelings, it's probably not going to work out in a 'happily ever after' way. When I sit there and picture my ideal future, it's married to a husband who's providing for me, whose big, strong arms can comfort me when I'm sad or stressed out." Then she snorted. "Not that I'm gonna meet one at the rate I'm going, as my mom would say."
"Oh."
Her lips pulled into a little sad smile. "But I will admit you got to me way more than I thought. Just something really special about you, Niijima-san."
"And there's something special about you, too, Kawakami-san." At the term of address, she did raise an eyebrow and laugh a tiny bit, but let me continue instead of interrupting. "I've done a lot of thinking, about… what you said. Your bath and all that."
"Don't remind me," she sighed. "And how much thinking could you have done in five minutes?"
"No, not just now. The whole week." I sat up a little more as I continued, "You're my first in a lot of ways. But honestly? I don't think it matters that much. Because I know how I feel about you even without those things. Maybe I already did, because…"
When I didn't continue right away, she prompted, "Because?"
"You were the teacher I looked forward to seeing the most every day," I confided. "Probably because you were attractive to me, even though I didn't understand that until the hotel room. But it must have already been there, because… you flirting with me shocked me, but not enough. I should have been a lot more scared - I should have wanted to run screaming from the room. Instead, it almost felt… natural. And that scared me the most."
Miss Kawakami frowned. "But that flirting was just part of the job. You know that, right? I didn't… I thought you were a young man who paid to have me flirt with him. That isn't disgusting to you?"
"Like you said, it's your job. I think it would be pretty stupid and narrow-minded of me to judge you for that. Really, the way you're working so hard to pay that student back only makes me admire you more."
"Oh," she breathed, staring down at where her hands lay in her lap. As she watched, one of mine came to rest atop them, and she looked over to see my face was a lot closer. "M-Makoto, wait…"
"For what?" I whispered - and I could barely believe I was doing any of this. But it was too late to turn back; that ship had sailed. "I think you need to know right now how serious I am. Sadayo…"
Her eyes closed. "Shit. You say my name like that, and I can't…"
"Can't what? Sadayo?" That time, I was teasing a little.
"Can't resist you. Can't fight back against this huge mistake."
The last word gave me pause. Enough so that I changed my tactic; my lips pushed into her cheek instead of her mouth. But it was still a kiss. I had never kissed anyone before, and now I had, and it was my Japanese teacher. Life really is crazy. For that moment, however, we were just two women who didn't know how to handle their feelings, and it was more powerful than I ever dreamed.
"Oooooh, okay," she let out in a shaky sigh a few seconds later, when I had drawn back to rest my chin on her soft, warm shoulder. "Wow. That was nicer than a little peck on the cheek has any right to be. God…"
"Yeah?" I breathed cautiously. "I figured I should start small. Not push too much."
"So you're all in now, huh?" she asked with a bitter chuckle, despite the warmth in her eyes as she gazed down at the floor. "Totally gay, and totally gay for your teacher?"
I shrugged as I pet along her back, and she melted. It was almost comical except it was too inflaming to be laughed at. "Guess so. I'm as confused as you, but it just seems silly to pretend I'm not interested."
"Makoto… your moves are like… A+ level moves. How are you only eighteen? How are you a girl?!"
"Do you want me to put the mustache back on?" I laughed.
"No!" We both chuckled for a moment, even though halfway through she shivered and arched her back. "Oh my GOD, you are barely doing anything and I'm ready to go."
"Ready to go?"
Fearful eyes turned on me. "Wait - forget I said that. Shit, why did I say that?!"
"Do you mean…" My eyes widened, and I felt heat explode within my cheeks. "Oh."
"I said forget I said it, so stop thinking about it! Wow, I really am a mess - I need to see a therapist or something!"
My teacher was turned on. Was this really happening? Despite the fact that, as she said, I was barely doing anything to her, apparently it was getting her aroused and ready for me to explore further. Only question was…
Was I as ready to explore as she was to be explored?
"It's okay," I reassured her, petting a little more firmly and hoping it would help. "I, um, I don't remember you saying anything. Just that I have some good moves. Did you say something after that?"
Her embarrassed laugh spoke volumes. "Nice try, kid. Ugh, I'm such a loser."
"Why? Because having someone focused on you feels good? Because this…" I pet a single finger down the middle of her back - not even sure how I knew to do that, running purely on instinct - and she shook and shivered. "…feels good?"
"Stop, please…"
"Really?" My hand came to rest in the middle of her back, staying totally still. "I will if you want me to."
"Yes. I do." So I took the hand away. Her eyes were sad, but what she said was, "Thank you."
Swallowing hard, trying to ignore the pinprick of fear in my stomach, I whispered, "Of course. I'm sorry, I just… I thought I could make you feel nice, and you might feel less… mad at yourself? Scared?"
"You did, in a way. But you also made it way worse." She turned to gaze at me. "Because it worked. You got me all revved up by barely doing anything - and I only felt that with the best of the dates I've been on. Even then, most of the guys had to work harder to get me there."
"Except… you don't want it from me. I'm a student, and a girl." She nodded, and I sighed. "I understand."
"Well, I don't," she blustered, folding her arms over her chest. My hand was resting on her thighs now, but I tried to keep it still so as not to draw attention to that. "This is nuts! I feel like I'm being pranked, except it's way too real to be a prank, so…"
"How do you think I feel? You're my teacher, and so beautiful. And a woman - which I think I'm somehow more comfortable with that than you are. But it doesn't mean I'm not panicking."
"You're panicking?" she asked, and I could tell she was almost grateful to think about me instead of her own feelings. "But you seem so cool with it all. Like, other than when I scream at you like an idiot."
My lips split in a smile. "Not an idiot. You just weren't expecting any of this. We're both trying to figure it out." I pet her thigh a little now, and she shivered. "Is this alright?"
"N-no." I stopped. "God… I can't believe how different it is with girls."
"Hm?"
"I ask you to stop, and you actually do it. No 'Aww, c'mon' first, no telling me I'm some big tease if I get less comfortable."
"Oh," I chuckled softly. "Do you want me to do that instead? I probably could learn."
"GOD NO!" Then we both laughed. "It's one of the only clear advantages. But, um… anyway, yeah. How do you keep from blowing your stack while I'm over here, sweating enough to fill a bucket?"
"You are not sweating," I snorted as I thought the question over. Finally, I sat up completely, my legs out and to the side behind her as my face rested against her shoulder. She didn't seem to mind me there, even if my touches were too much for her to handle at the present.
"Miss Kawakami, I wish I knew what to tell you. But I've always been like this under pressure. I'm still freaking out and trying to figure out what to do, but it's like… there isn't any point in letting the panic turn me into a mess, so I just… don't. And I can't explain to you why I'm like that, either."
"Lucky," she pouted.
"I feel lucky. You're not yelling at me for all this, and… I do keep worrying about what you said."
"Which thing I said?"
"That I'll go too far and you won't tell me to stop, and I'll hurt you. That's why I keep taking such… small chances." I kissed her shoulder again, and she sighed. "Like that one."
Humming her pleasure at the next kiss, she finally whispered, "They're small but they aren't small. My brain is telling me 'no', but my body…"
After the next kiss, when she still hadn't finished her thought, I whispered, "Tell me."
"My body wants this. Needs it - and that's all I'm going to say, because it's already really terrible that I told that to any student. I deserve everything that's happened to me in the past few years. Scummy old woman."
"Hey." I reached up and gently moved her chin so she was facing me, and her eyes grew wide and fearful. "Don't talk about yourself like that. It's not fair. Those two are wrong."
"How are they wrong? I got a student killed, and now I'm feeling way too much for another. I'm a monster, Makoto-chan."
Smiling, I leaned a little closer. "Don't you mean 'Niijima-san'?"
"Right. That thing."
"You aren't a monster. And you aren't scummy. You're a beautiful, smart-"
"I can't take any more compliments," she laughed shakily as my face got closer. "I can't take any more of this, no matter how much I…"
"What? No matter how much… you want it?" I guessed.
All she could do was nod before our lips made contact.
Kissing Sadayo was both everything I had ever dreamed it could be, and nothing like I expected. Which didn't seem to fit together very neatly, since those feelings were such different shapes. It was warmth, and softness, and openness… passion and comfort mixing like fire and water. And now that I had tried it…
I could no longer imagine kissing a man. That easily. As much as I still couldn't believe I was with a woman, it felt so right that I didn't want to question it anymore; didn't think it was necessary. Her mouth was sweet and warm and open to me, and as our lips kneaded each other, I craved more, I leaned up harder against her, my arm wrapping around her back to keep her close.
"Shit," she breathed when we finally broke apart. Only then did I realise her hand had come to rest on my upper arm, another around my waist.
"Huh? I mean… hey."
"Hey." Swallowing hard, eyes swimming with the threat of tears, she went on, "I'm… just… it's not fair."
"What isn't fair?"
"That a little girl just gave me the best kiss of my life."
Blushing though I was, I managed to protest, "I'm not a little girl. I'm a grown woman; I just so happen to be in school, that's all."
"You'll be 'grown' when you can order that wine at a restaurant," she muttered, and I couldn't help smiling. "This is still a really… terrible idea, but…"
"It's good, though?" I insisted on knowing. "You're not just flattering me? I've never kissed anyone before."
"Stop reminding me how young you are," she whined. But when she saw me biting my lip, she closed her eyes and whispered, "The best. You just barely beat out Katsuya from my high school; he was really good, too. Like, legendary."
"Wow, high school must have been a really long time ago. How do you even remember?" When her eyes flew open, I dipped my head. "Teasing. O-or trying to. You really shouldn't shame yourself so much for this happening; it was… fate."
Her hand began to caress up and down my arm, and I felt the goosebumps dimpling and shifting under the light touch. "You believe in that stuff? Like fate? Oh - right, you still owe me a reading."
"Reading?" Her heeled foot raised up and waggled just in the corner of my vision, and I smiled bashfully. "Oh yeah… I don't know why I thought that would work."
"Honestly, I wasn't sure why you were asking about my shoe size until I saw the heels in the bathroom. So it did work; it just was very suspicious. Like, what is solestry, anyway?!"
"It's a real practice!" When she squinted at me, I shrugged and admitted, "So maybe it's not very widespread…"
"If you wanna play with my feet again, just ask. You don't have to make up fortune-telling excuses; I don't even believe in tarot cards or any of that."
Sure I was beet red by now, I whispered, "Wh-why are you so sure I'm some pervert? I just liked giving you a massage!"
"You did kiss them," she laughed. "And I'm teasing. But you keep getting all flustered, so if you want me to stop my teasing and let you play with them… just say the word and I will. I mean it."
"But you freaked out when we kissed. Why would that be any different? Because they're only feet?"
"In a word… yeah?" We both laughed. "Okay, okay, so you're not into it. I just… I don't know, I'm trying to think outside the box. Things that won't be as dangerous as that kiss was a few seconds ago. Do you want to take another bath?"
"Only if we're both naked."
The words were out of my mouth before I could stop them. Sadayo was still gulping and gaping at me when I hastily averted my gaze to stare at the wall, my fingers flexing where they rested against her shoulderblade. Seconds ticked by in silence as we tried to figure out how to recover from that line.
"So…"
"Maybe we should go back to eating," Sadayo whispered.
"I thought you lost your appetite."
"I did. But um… that kiss kind of… woke it back up. So either I satisfy it that way, or…"
My eyes lifted to meet hers, and I was aware of how close our mouths still were. "Or we could do it in a fun way?"
"No. We really shouldn't do that. I want to, I… guess there's no point pretending I don't, but it's still a bad idea."
"I'm sorry I said such a stupid thing," I suddenly blurted. "I thought it would be funny, or flirty, but instead it sounded… kind of… scary."
"Yeah," she agreed with a hard swallow as she pulled me tighter against her side. "But I know you weren't doing that on purpose; I'm… this is why you don't date somebody nine years younger than you, right? They don't have the same experiences you do. I've been around the block a few times; you just got to the neighbourhood."
"Then show me. You're already my teacher at Shujin; teach me this, too. How to do it right instead of… of messing up and making you feel bad."
"This is not what 'sex education' is supposed to mean, you know," she chuckled. I smiled a little along with her.
"Let's finish dinner. I feel like you don't want to try more because you're worried about too many things, so maybe it's smarter if… we don't keep sitting on my bed."
A long whine issued from her mouth. "I kissed a teenager. On her goddamn bed, I must be out of my mind!"
"Yeah, but… think of it this way." I couldn't help smiling up at her as I whispered playfully, "You're hot enough to get a teenager to kiss you. On her goddamn bed. Has to count for something."
That did at least earn a giddy laugh from her as she facepalmed. "Sure. It means I'm a real vixen for a predator, right?"
"Hey, don't call yourself that," I scolded her, eyes darkening a little. I saw her blink in surprise at how insistent I was. "Not ever again. I'm the one who's been chasing you, not the other way around; that makes you an herbivore, I think."
"Well… I… sure, yeah," she admitted with a weary nod. "You're right, let's go eat. That duck was really good and I feel terrible that we kind of flirted our way out of finishing it."
"You really like my cooking?" I asked as we stood up, arms still loosely around each other. Now I was a lot shorter than her again - only because she was still wearing the heels. Which was at my insistence, so I had no one to blame but myself.
"Makoto, it was amazing. Where did you get that recipe?! Not that I can cook anything besides curry and instant ramen, anyway… what a failure of an adult I am."
"I think you're perfect," I breathed as we left the room. That only made her groan.
                                                    To Be Continued…
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bees-for-the-wildmother · 6 years ago
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The 100 Ask Game
I was tagged by the wonderful @thehundredtimesobsessed​ forever ago (or what feels like it, but I’m finally getting around to it today.
1. What Station on the Ark would you be from?
Probably Agro. My mom’s side of the family definitely has a green thumb.
2. What would you get arrested for on the Ark?
Umm...theft?
3. Would you take off your wristband when you landed on the ground?
No. No, I would not.
4. What would the Necklace Finn would make for you look like? (Clarke: deer/Raven: a raven duh…)
DRAGON!  Dragons are my favorite.  Followed by red pandas, but I feel like a dragon would be better (I already own a few dragon necklaces).
5. If you could resurrect any MINOR character who would it be?
Roan kom Azgeda - I miss him. <<< Same.  Possibly Wells, but I became much more attached to Roan (probably because he had more episodes)
6. Create a squad by of 5 characters to go on missions with. Who are they?
Bellamy, Clarke, Raven, Monty, and Murphy.  (This was basically pick your five favorite characters for me...)
7. What Grounder Clan would you belong to?
Podakru - the Lake People...I’m just going on that based on where I live, i.e. a place where there are lakes
8.  What would your name be in Trigedasleng? (example: Octavia=Okteivia…just make it up!)
Shilbi, I think that’s what they’d do with it.  I literally looked up to see if they even had a “sh” sound in their language; right when I was about to lose hope and resigning myself to “Silbi” or the like, I found a phrase with “sh”.
9. Thoughts on Finn? Some people hate him, and others love him, so I’m curious
I didn’t like him from the beginning. I didn’t hate him initially, but he got two people killed yet survived his own idiocy or taking off his seat belt. I thought he was going to be a detriment to their survival because he would take stupid unnecessary risks to show off.
10. Be honest. How willing would you have been to take the chip without knowing all the horrible things it does?
Probably not.  My dad yells and me and my mom because we always need answers to motivations and the why of things.  I don’t think I would put something in my body without fully knowing what it is and the ramifications of taking it.
11. What character do you relate to most?
I want to say Harper, but also some Clarke.  In Harper, I see a lot of the traits I like about myself; in Clarke, I see a lot of the traits I don’t like about myself.
12. What character do you like the least?
This is difficult...I feel like it’s a cop out to say one of the villains of the show, but it’d probably be Cage Wallace.  I don’t know who it’d be out of the people who are still alive.
13. Describe your delinquent outfit. (Would you wear something like Murphy’s jacket with the spikey red shoulder patch or have a trademark like Jasper’s goggles? Be creative, yet practical)
Charcoal grey jeans with a forest green v-neck t-shirt that has those criss-crossed strips of fabric, a dark brown leather jacket, and brown combat boots.
14. Favorite type of mutant animal?
...I don’t know...a mutant fox?
15. What would your job be on the Ark?
Probably like historian, archives, or teacher or something (based on my real life career path).
16. Would you have willingly pumped Ontari’s heart if Abby asked?
Yeah, I’d do what I have to.  Probably would be admiring the ceiling as I did it, but I’d do it.
17. If Lexa wasn’t Heda, but she was still alive then who would have made the best commander?
I don’t know.  I feel like it there was a more ruthless, battle ready heda, the 100 (and the rest of the Ark) would have been in a worse position.
Wait! An answer came to me when I was looking at question twenty:  Lincoln!  My friend and I liked to joke that Lincoln was one of the few characters with a head on his shoulders and realistic ideas and expectations for relations.
18. How would you act if you ate the hallucinogenic nuts like Jasper and Monty?
I’d probably just be giggling, at EVERYTHING.
19. How would you have dealt with Charlotte’s crime? A more John Murphy approach or Bellamy Blake approach?
Definitely a more Bellamy Blake approach.
20. Who should have been the Chancellor, if anyone?
Monty.  Monty is another character who had a good head on his shoulders.
21. Would you have been on Pike’s side like Bellamy or on Kane’s side? Or Clarke in Polis?
Kane’s side. No question.
22. Mount Weather had a lot of modern commodities. (example: Maya’s Ipod) What is the one thing you would snatch while there?
Maybe a kindle if they had that.  They probably would have different books than the Ark had, or the grounders.  Give me all the books.
23. What would your Grounder tattoos look like? Hairstyle? War paint?
Probably a couple tribal tattoos on my arms, maybe connecting with something spanning my shoulders and upper back.  Definitely ALL the braids; I already wear braids in my hair a lot, but I think they would just get more intricate for the grounder style. Some nice, swirling black warpaint around my eyes when I have to go to battle.
24. Favorite quote?
For someone who regularly collects quotes (though usually from books), I don’t actually have one.  But a quick internet search and choosing quickly, I’ll say a favorite is, “I say, screw fear. I’m telling my own damn story.” (Bellamy Blake, 1.13). It reminds me a little of my one of my favorite song lyrics, “I’m the hero of the story; don’t need to be saved,” from “Hero” by Regina Spektor, which is actually a pretty decent song for the show.
25. If all of the characters were in the Hunger Games, who would have the best shot at winning?
I’m gonna go with Clarke.  She’s smart and tactical and she does what she has to do. But if it came down to a straight up fight, probably Luna; she’d have the knowledge to survive the land and the talent to survive the fight.
26. Least favorite ship? Favorite canon ship? Favorite non canon ship? NOT INCLUDING CL OR BC OR BE
Miller/Jackson - It just came out of nowhere, with no build up, and I like to see how things unfold, especially relationships, and so I’m being stubborn about them trying to tell me it’s a thing. Zaven - All I wanted was for Raven to finally find someone who could make her happy and show her what she could should have. So, yeah, I’m in denial and not the happiest person right now. (I haven’t even watched the new season yet--I know, I know, I’m a horrible fan, but I was sick and then busy catching up on life--and this is something that got spoiled for me even though I’ve been trying to avoid tumblr for a week; I blame Critical Role for encouraging me to go on Tumblr last Thursday) Minty - I found the ship in fanfiction and jumped on board quickly and happily.
27. A song that should be included in the next season? If there had to be another guest star like Shawn Mendes on the show, who would you want to make a cameo?
I’m going with the song that I actually used as a title to one of my fanfics, “Heathens” by Twenty One Pilots. (I also just am bad at knowing songs, so this I’ll stick with what I already know fits with the story)
Celebrities, another of my knowledge downfalls--seriously, if you ever want a guaranteed win in a trivia game against me, go with Pop Culture as the topic.
28. What would you do if you were stuck in the bunker with Murphy for all that time?
Play card games? Drink? There wasn’t a whole lot to do.
29. Your an extra that gets killed off. How do you die?  
You wouldn’t actually see me die, I’d just be one of the bodies bloody and lying on the ground.
30. A character you’d like to learn more about and get flashbacks of?
I think it’s actually Echo and/or Emori, both would be best; I’m curious about everyday life on the ground before the timeline of the show.
31. A character you’d bang?
Can I say all of them? If I have to select someone I‘d choose Bellamy, Clarke, Raven, or Roan. Basically the same answer as Toni.  Ooo, I’m adding Lincoln to the list, too.
32. Would you stay in the Bunker? Go up to Space? Or live on your own in Eden?
Assuming I could survive it (nightblood), Eden. I need my green and I don’t mind being alone, though I’d probably still talk to the radio or the animals or plants.
33. In the Bunker, would you follow Octavia? What would you do to pass the time underground?
Yup. I’m a follower.  Read, draw, think up stories.
34. What crime would you commit in the Bunker that lands you in the fighting pits?
These questions keep asking me questions with the assumption that I am not Lawful Good down to my core.  I have no idea what law/rule I would willfully break and what the circumstances would have to be for me to do it.
35. Up in Space, who would you bond with first? Who would be the most difficult for you to get along with?
Harper, no doubt about it. Probably more so Murphy wouldn’t get along with me.  He’d catch me making a face at something he said, and I didn’t honestly mean anything by it, my face just reacts, and he’d hold a grudge against me for a while.
36. How long do you think you would last on Earth by yourself?
If I had survival skills (know what to eat, how to find it, etc.) probably a long time. If I tried it at this exact moment, not very long at all.
37. When the Eligius ship lands what do you do?
Run, hide, observe, freak out. I don’t know.
38. Favorite Eligius character? Least favorite?
Shaw.  (Why must all the good ones go?) Vinson, he was creepy AF.
39. Would you Spacewalk?
Assuming I could do it when it wasn’t illegal, yeah!
40. Would you prefer to eat Windshield Bugs, Space Algae, or Bunker Meat?
Windshield bugs. I was about to say Space Algae, but then I thought about the texture it’d be, and I’m pretty sure it’d be the texture that makes me gag when I try to eat it.
41. Would you start a war for the last spot of green on earth? What would your solution be to avoid it?
Yeah no, I don’t want to go to war.  I would try to work out a way to share it.
42. Would you rather dig out flesh-eating worms or stick thumb drives into bullet holes?
I think I’d stick a thumb drive into a bullet hole.  The first is turning my stomach to think about, but somehow the second isn’t doing the same.
43. Are you willing to poison your sister for the Traitor Who You Love? What would you do to stop Octavia?
 Gut reaction against it, but that’s because I love my sister and she’s the sweetest.  But if she did what Octavia did and had that personality, probably, as long as I knew she wouldn’t be killed by it. What they did seemed to work...?
44. Would you go to sleep in cryo or stay awake like Marper?
Sleep in cryo.
45. Who are you waking up first to explore the new planet?
Clarke and Bellamy, Raven and Shaw, Murphy and Miller. <<Same, probably Emori too, she’s resourceful. 
I’m not gonna tag anyone because chances are they already did this while I’ve been avoiding Tumblr and so I missed their answers. But if anyone hasn’t done this and wants to, please tag me in your post!  I want to see what other people have to say!
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mtvswatches · 6 years ago
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Crazy Ex Girlfriend 4x08 I’m Not the Person I Used to Be
Stray thoughts
1) OMG I’m Other Rebecca!
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2) This looks like a smut fanfic…
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…except no one asked for it?
3) OMG!! What is it with Rebecca and shit?
REBECCA: Hey, I'm sorry I stunk up the toity yesterday.
JOSH: Oh, no problem. Made my eyes tear up, but, uh, I needed a good cry.
4) I fucking love when this show goes all meta!
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5) And they did it again!!!
HEATHER: How long are you here for?
VALENCIA: For the rest of the series! …of holidays, I mean.
Is this going to be a thing in this episode? Because I love it!!
6) This scene was – in Heather’s words – THE BEST.
Okay, based on your face when you were looking at the guest list, my guesses are we're dealing with a frenemy, a nemesis or an ex. So it's an ex. Wait, no. But you dated Josh all through high school. So you cheated.  Oh, you really cared about this person. Oh, my God, you were in love. And nobody knows. Whoa. This is so juicy. Wait, wait, was it a girl? Oh, it was the first girl. Wait, is she here yet? Have you seen her? Oh, okay. So she's not here yet, but she's on the list. Okay, I am on it, I am gonna figure this all out.
I just love how well they know each other, and even though this is obviously exaggerated and played for laughs, it’s a quite accurate depiction of female friendship. When you really know your friends, it’s quite easy to read them and know what they’re thinking just by looking at their facial expressions.
7) So this is the episode, this is the episode where he gets back? Right? Btw, I nearly died when this happened…
REBECCA: Anyway, am I… I can't believe I'm saying this Am I meant to be with Nathaniel or Josh or both or neither?
VALENCIA: Neither.
HEATHER: Neither.
REBECCA: Right, of course. Because the idea of "meant to be" is a lie perpetuated by Western culture.
VALENCIA: No. You're meant to be with Greg.
HEATHER: Wait, you think that? I totally think that.
VALENCIA: Everyone thinks that.
Seriously, it made me feel so good inside and giddy to hear both of them validate how I FEEL. Yes, Rebecca is meant to be with Greg.
Now I’m getting nervous because I know he’ll show up soon. It is his high school reunion, after all. But “he” won’t be “he”anymore, and I’m not sure if the show will be able to pull off this switcharoo you know? Okay, I have to continue watching, don’t I?
8) I see what you’re doing, show…
REBECCA: Okay, look, the only way the only way… The only way Greg would ever be my "meant to be" is if we were in some sort of sci-fi weird parallel alternate universe where he was just a completely different person.
I swear to god, I just got chills when I heard his voice in the background. I’m not ready for this. I’ve been waiting two years for Greg to be back and yet this wasn’t what I was waiting for? What if I don’t like Greg anymore? I’m scared! Okay, I’m going to hit play again…
9) So here he is…
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He does look Greg-ish, I must admit.
So, the idea is that this is how Greg has always looked to everyone but since Rebecca wasn’t mentally stable at the time they were together she saw him differently? Is that it? I mean, we always tend to see people differently after some time apart. And Rebecca has changed a lot since Greg last saw her, so that’s probably why she’s seeing him differently. Both of them have probably changed a lot.
10) OMG they did it again, the entire conversation!
GREG: No, I'm-I'm here on winter break. I'm actually back for the whole rest of the series… of holidays. Thanksgiving, Christmas, New Year's and the finale…. Valentine's Day.
HECTOR: Valentine's Day. I guess that is the logical end of our series… of holidays.
11)
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12) I love Heather so much…
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13) Josh had a literally one good thing going on in his life right now – being prom king at his reunion – and it was all a lie!
14) Now, this was quite a revelation…
GREG: I got to confess, I've been back a few times.
REBECCA: You have?
GREG: Yeah, uh, I just thought it would be best if you and I didn't see each other.
REBECCA: So you were back in town and no one told me?
GREG: Well, I may have asked them not to. I did. Yeah, I did.
Question is… does he know about Rebecca and his dad? And everything that happened in the last two years?
15) The clean slate thing works considering he is literally a different person – at least physically, what he says sounds pretty Greg-ish to me – but it’s the easy way out for Rebecca… Sleeping with Greg’s dad is probably at the top of the worst things she’d done (and yes, I’m including pushing Trent off the balcony.)
16) OMG we’re getting a new Greg and Rebecca song, I can’t believe it.
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Okay, show, I think you did it. You got Greg back and you didn’t piss me off in doing so. And of course the Greg and Rebecca song is amazing and it’s the first one this season that I actually love. I had to go back and watch it again.
I really didn’t believe they could pull this off, and I really don’t know how they did it, but it worked? Listening to these two sing to each other about their history together and seeing them reconnect… my heart was swelling with joy.
Also, I loved the fact that they made it clear Greg is still sober.
Is it weird that even though he’s clearly a different person, I do see Greg?
17) Man, I loved every Heather/Valencia scene in this episode! And damn, Valencia, that story is the thing great love stories are made of!
18) So… does Greg’s dad really have to talk to him about sleeping with Rebecca or was Greg trying to get Rebecca to fess up?
19) Yes, Rebecca, you make total sense…
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I mean, he basically told her he didn’t feel for his ex-girlfriend the same way he’d felt for her, right? I wouldn’t want to fess up either...
20) WAIT, WHAT?!!!
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HEATHER: What? It was Father Brah?
VALENCIA: Joseph. He never got the letter. My love letter was in his jacket in Hector's trunk for 12 years?!
OMFG this show just blew my mind!! He was going to marry Valencia and Josh, right? He was always giving Josh advice about his relationship with her? Is this why he decided to become a priest? WHAT IN THE HELL?!
21) I’m HEATHER, THIS IS HOW I FEEL WATCHING THIS EPISODE!!
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22) A GEORGE SONG?!!! CAN THIS EPISODE GET ANY BETTER?!!!
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Another catchy tune!! Love the Hollaback Girl homage! And I laughed so hard! “We learned to cry while you were popular!”
23) My shipping heart is killing me right now…
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24) Oh, dang, indeed!
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25) OH ME GERDS!!
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Paula is going to freak out when she reads all those texts, isn’t she?
26) I SHIP THIS? A PRIEST AND A PARTY PLANNER?
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What is this episode doing to me?
27) thIS FUCKING EPISODE, I SWEAR TO GOD!
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Okay, it makes sense, Valencia is in a good relationship and she is very much in love with her girlfriend. And I’m sure Father Brah didn’t become a priest just because Valencia didn’t choose him. At least they got closure and knowing the truth about what happened definitely changes how they will look back on those memories.
28) OMG they were about to kiss and she told him!
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I’m kind of sad she ruined the moment, but it had to be done. Good for you, Honest Rebecca, I’m proud!
29) Greg’s reaction was not what I had expected. He did freak out a little, but he was mostly surprised at how Rebecca came clean and owned up to probably the shittiest thing she could’ve done to him. He didn’t punch any walls (awwing at the reference!) And yes, Rebecca has changed, too. For the better. Old Rebecca? She would’ve lied and schemed and manipulated to prevent him from finding out until ultimately everything would’ve blown up in her face.
And I loved the fact that he’s the one to acknowledge they both have changed.
30) Paula’s ending scene!! I loved her reaction to all the texts from Rebecca as if she was seeing the situation unfold in front of her in real time. It was perfect!
31) This episode… is definitely my favorite episode this season! I just loved EVERYTHING about it? The Heather/Valencia/Father Brah B plot, Greg’s return, Hector’s obsession with the speech and the 2-hours lunch, Rebecca’s texts, the songs, the meta!
It was an amazing episode that reminded us why we love this show so much and why it is SO GOOD.
The writers knew the odds were against them in bringing back Greg with a different actor in the role, so they brought their A game and delivered a nearly perfect episode, one that I’m sure will be remembered as one of the best in the series.
And of course they had to amp up the meta jokes in this one - they were bringing back one of their main characters but played by a different actor, they had to make a meta-commentary about it. But I really enjoyed how organically they weaved the behind the scenes stuff into the storyline - they made the fact that they were recasting a character emotionally relevant for the characters.
I also love how all the storylines had a common thread and in a way reflected back to Rebecca’s storyline - Father Brah and Valencia missing their shot kind of echoes Greg and Rebecca’s story, although they might get a second chance now; Josh discovering this whole new side to the high school experience he’d never noticed before kind of mirrors Rebecca seeing Greg in a new light; Paula missing out on the events of the whole night and catching up in a few minutes probably mirrors Greg’s journey in this episode.
I was very hazy about the decision to cast a different actor to play Greg, but I also knew that if any show and any group of writers could pull it off, it was CEG. And God bless them, they did! I’m not saying I’m totally sold on New Greg yet, but I feel like I will. I feel like I will grow to love this Greg as well. And I think the fact that they were able to achieve that - the possibility of viewers falling in a love with a recast character - is a feat in itself.
This show is such a blessing, I swear! I can’t wait to rewatch this episode!
Sorry if I got a bit rambly and incoherent there, I just enjoyed this episode a lot!
32) Hope you enjoyed my recap, and, as usual, if you’ve got this far, thank you for reading! If you enjoy my recaps and my blog, please consider supporting it on ko-fi.Thanks!
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cyclone-rachel · 6 years ago
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A Life That I Can’t Leave Behind
a Supergirl fanfic
read on AO3 here
It’s been half a year.
Winn left, for the future, almost six months ago- well, to be more precise (and he knows he’s supposed to be) he’s been gone six months and thirteen days.
And even though it’s been so long, he still doesn’t quite know how he fits into his whole situation. He knows where he’s supposed to be, of course, and is doing his best… but the only person who could tell him how to properly do his job can’t help him- until Winn has completed his actual job, and doesn’t need that advice at all.
He’s frustrated, to say the least.
And that isn’t even to mention the Brainiac situation, and how Winn feels so very small when he so much as studies the blueprints for his ship, or gets a glimpse of it as it hovers just over the atmosphere of Colu, or Grenda, or any of the other planets with artificial life that he’s become so familiar with recently.
(It reminds him of facing off against his father, really- feeling helpless yet again, and knowing one’s enemy so well, and even understanding them, yet knowing there’s only a thin line that separates the two of them, and that only one of them will cross it.
Winn makes it his mission to stay on his side of the line, and do what he can. But he’s still afraid that, one day, he’ll wake up, and find Brainiac’s ship hovering over Earth, about to swallow himself and everyone he’s made connections with so far)
But as much as he does, he can’t be Brainy. He can’t replace him for Mon-El or Imra, or any of the other Legionnaires he’s met. (He still can’t keep their names straight, sometimes, as much as he wants to.) He’s not the friend that they left behind in the past, and he knows he won’t ever be.
And as much faith in him as Brainy has… there are still days where he doubts him. Even though, as Brainy would probably tell him if he were here, it would be far more logical not to do so.
Winn sits in Brainy’s chair (that at the very least he’s learned to control, since he left) and pulls out his design, enclosed in glass. The design that Brainy apparently stole from some archive, that’s supposed to be important in future technology.
Groundbreaking, was the word he used.
He neglected to warn Winn that it was also the foundation for some of Brainiac’s shielding technology, that said villain takes cold delight in using against him. Fortunately, the Legion has the original version of it, instead of a reverse-engineered copy, which makes their shields objectively superior.
(And Winn’s even been able to outfit them with personal shields, thanks to a model that Brainy invented himself- which has saved them several times on stealth missions so far.)
So, there’s that, at least. And there haven’t been any major deaths so far. But Winn gets the feeling that Brainiac is only biding his time, waiting for the Legionnaires to make a move against him.
“In other words, I’m trapped on one side of the world’s deadliest chess game.” He mutters to himself. “Even worse than that one from the first Harry Potter.”
But Winn keeps looking at the design, despite initial instinct to smash the glass against the floor and crumple the paper up so it’s reduced to dust. It is, after all, why Brainy wanted him in the future, and why Brainy so suddenly changed his tune, from tearing him down to literally giving him the promotion to end all promotions. It was his greatest shame, yes, but that was all in the past.
Nobody remembers its first victim.
Nobody knows about the shame Winn felt, when the design was first given to him, and the burning resolve that replaced it.
He wants to make things better, and he’s dedicating himself to doing just that, so nobody gets hurt again if he can prevent it. And even though nobody’s aware of Demos, or the effect he had on the technology they rely on, Winn still remembers.
He doubts he’ll ever forget, which seems like both a blessing and a curse at the moment.
“Winn?” Imra calls, walking into the room, as he circles the chair around to face her. “Hey. I know you’ve been busy lately, but… I think it’s time you get the night off.”
Brainiac doesn’t take nights off, Winn thinks.
“I know, I know, criminals don’t take breaks.” She says. “Well, they might- but that isn’t my business. But anyway, on Earth, it’s tradition to celebrate the new year, isn’t it?”
“Yeah…” Winn answers. “And that’s today?”
“Yes.” She says. “So, we’re having a party, and I can at least speak for some of us when I say that we’d really like to see you there.”
“Right, I forgot.” Winn answers, pushing himself out of the chair, wobbling a little bit as he regains his footing on the floor. He shakes his head, slipping his design back into his pocket. “I’ll be right there.”
Imra smiles.
“Good, I’ll let the others know.” She says. Then she’s gone again, and Winn’s left watching her.
He can’t be Brainy, he knows that enough. And as much responsibility as he’s been given, he knows not even Brainy expects him to completely fill his shoes. But he wants to make him proud- and seeing as how Brainy’s counting on him, he knows he needs to try.
He really is going to try, no matter how long it takes him to do so, either in his new time or his old.
Six months and thirteen days, out here, feels like an eternity to Winn- far be it from him to try to imagine how much time is passing in the twenty-first century.
At least, he hopes it’s long enough that they miss him too.
And maybe they’re also celebrating New Year’s- no matter how many years might’ve passed for them.
~
Brainy’s on the rooftop garden again, sitting on top of the damp table as rain drips from the sky.
It’s dark, and not as cold as he thinks it might have been. But even if it were cold, he wouldn’t have minded it, as he was used to this kind of climate.
(Or, as Kara had put it once in a sing-song voice, “The cold never bothered you anyway!” He didn’t understand this reference, and as he pointed out back then, the same could apply to her. She’d lightly hit him on the arm, and rolled her eyes, before going back inside. He’d followed, still confused, even though he had told the truth)
Truth be told, he could’ve chosen any place to brood, but he does like feeling tall, so the height of his current position doesn’t bother him. All he wanted was someplace quiet, free of distractions- even the most pleasant ones that he concerns himself with on a day-to-day basis. He’s always sought such places out, whenever he’s moved to new locations- though he isn’t sure whether he’s gotten used to being alone by now, by his own choice, or whether nobody else chooses to be in the same room as he, and they just refuse to visit him on principle.
(He doesn’t let himself dwell on that, for obvious reasons)
Winn would let others in, he knows. And others would visit him, certainly.
It’s been six months and thirteen days, and as much as he’s become accustomed to the DEO (as much it’s changed, over the past four especially) he still knows he isn’t going to fill Winn’s role there for Alex and Kara, or even those he associates with less, that he’s aware Winn would’ve spent far more time with, had he been there.
But of course, if he was there, the future wouldn’t be safe- and Brainy would never dream of depriving the future of him until he knows its safety is secure.
He has no way of knowing how long that will be, though, of course, so until Winn does return, he’s forced to wait.
(There’s a phrase he’s learned since he’s been in this century: “No news is good news”. He understands it to mean that, if one doesn’t hear from someone else, everything is perfectly fine. And, to some extent, he can understand that- applying it to his specific situation, if Winn was in trouble, he would’ve contacted Kara or Alex by now. But then again, also, it only makes him worry- what if Winn can’t contact him? What if Winn is in danger, captured and bottled by the enemy he was supposed to stop?
Or, perhaps, things are going on schedule for him, and he can’t afford distractions- or, something that should give Brainy reassurance but also might irritate him if he devotes too much thought to it, Winn might not need his help at all. That would be good news, except for the fact that Brainy won’t know until he does come back.)
(If he does.)
He doesn’t appreciate not knowing, in general, though like with many other things in this century, he’s become used to it.
Just like he’s become used to, among other things, Kara finding him- and though he did need some alone time, he has the feeling that he’s going to be convinced to return to her apartment for some reason or another.
Which, at this point, he’s ready for. Better than countless simulations detailing ways Winn could die, or rarely, be triumphing against Brainiac at this moment. With this, he can keep his mind in the present day, and on someone he can actually help in person, which he considers right this time to be a relief.
“Hey, Brainy!” she says from behind him, and Brainy doesn’t think about the specifics of how she found him. “Did you want to come back inside?”
When he doesn’t answer for a moment, she continues with, “You don’t have to. You can keep getting rained on, if you really want- but don’t blame me if you get a cold, or rust, or whatever this kind of weather does to you.”
“I will not rust.” He says. “But thank you for the concern.”
“You’re welcome.” Kara answers. “For the record, though, you’re missing an awesome New Year’s Eve party.”
Brainy smiles, then, turning to her. “We celebrate the same thing, in my century.”
She leaps onto the table he’s sitting on, then, and sits beside him.
“Huh. Guess some things never change.” She says, looking up at the clouds. “And that means you have something to celebrate, in your time, don’t you?”
“Yes.” He says. “I suppose… even though I have no way of knowing what’s going on in the future.”
“Yeah, but you still believe in your friends, right?” Kara asks.
Brainy gives her a small nod.
“Then you have nothing to worry about.” She says. “For the future, at least. But in this time…”
“In this time, what?”
“Well, for starters, Alex is gonna get to all the alcohol before the rest of us even get a chance to toast to the new year.” She answers. “And if I’m not mistaken, I believe I saw a certain type of pizza on the order with your name on it. And I happen to know that it isn’t as good cold, so you might as well eat it while you can.”
“That is true.” He answers. “But I do have someone who can just as easily heat up any kind of pizza for me, if she so desires.”
“I could…” Kara says. “You should come inside first, though.”
There’s nothing that will change, if I stay out here. He thinks. Whatever might be happening with Winn, it isn’t like he’s going to return at this moment- in fact, he may even be celebrating the new year on his own. I may as well go in, and take advantage of this time I have here.
After all, who knows if I will return?
He jumps off the table, feeling the slight shock from it, and Kara joins him, reaching for his hand.
Brainy allows her to take it, and together they return to Kara’s apartment.
Back to warmth, and family, and safety and togetherness and certainty- everything Brainy values at this moment, in this century, during the dawn of the new year.
That, at least, he can hold on to, while waiting for news from the future, no matter what said news turns out to be.
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