#which devastated me
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on the one hand I think inner demons could stand to have a bit more romanced rook specific content, but on the other hand the underlying in-built implication that 'yours is the one true voice of comfort and safety in my inner world' is a sentiment and intimacy so way beyond the romantic or the platonic or any secret third thing you could care to name that it makes me lose my entire poor little mind a bit. it's so big and fundamental — near-existential — that in that exact moment at least the distinctions kind of seem irrelevant.
all the people lucanis' mind conjures up along the way are relationships he has that are unavoidably mixed and fraught in some ways even when they're also full of love (they are fraught BECAUSE they're full of love) — the good in them inseparable from things that hurt him at the same time. (it's about: the basic disorganized attachment patterns this poor guy is dragging around with him. careful with those, they're dellamorte heirlooms. what you love also inevitably hurts you and you won't be allowed to have one without the other, you have to surrender parts of your soul to hold on to what little you have left: this is the story up until now.) and the idea that rook isn't that to him — that beneath the fear of wanting them when romanced (which is more its own separate thing because within this psychology, actively wanting something and not just clinging on for dear life to even a meager status quo lest you lose it is in itself dangerous bordering on catastrophic), this is a relationship where there isn't resentment, or guilt, or shame, or dread, or rage, or self-hate, or any of the other emotions that keep him paralyzed, unable to move this way or that. no debts, nothing owed of yourself and your soul's substance except what you can freely and safely and happily give. love and freedom don't coexist — but, I mean, you're almost starting to make me think........... unless...👀👀👀. the unconditional and undramatic 'you are here and I am here with you, you can be exactly how you are right now with me and it's safe for us both even though you're afraid it won't be, I'm not going anywhere' acceptance rook shows him here that he returns to them in the big romance scene, when it's rook who needs it. the way he's just. standing there in the center of it all, like a child desperately helplessly waiting to be found, hiding in the place he hopes you'll know to look first. (rook does know. it's one of the first things they say in there.)
in short the most important room in his little mind palace for the romance is the very first room — the one where rook isn't. where, in fact, rook cannot be, because they disprove the entire structure of the place with their existence and presence in his life. with everyone else he's putting words in their mouths about what they think of him, and rook is the one who actually gets to come in to speak their own words to him — and have him listen. ('he'll listen to you, he always listens to you', 'your voice is a comfort'.) of course rook isn't present anywhere else in there — at the risk of stating the obvious to a tedious degree, they aren't one of the locks, they're bringing the key. in the very finest 'the messenger and the message' sort of way.
#dragon age#dragon age: the veilguard#dragon age: the veilguard spoilers#dragon age spoilers#lucanis dellamorte#rook x lucanis#rookanis#dragon age meta#rook is his first brush with actual safe attachment. and to me and because of who I am as a person#nothing could be more romantically devastating or impactful fhdsjkfhs that's literally the unreachable wistful dream the pie in the sky#the garrus romance echoes too. some of the same stuff going on under the hood here#you know who else he's sneakily like too actually? iron bull. the 'no matter where I turn I'll hurt someone I love' and dissociation stuff#there's that whole line about 'walking close to the edge or whatever'#which is masterful as a diversion b/c what this romance is really about is feeling truly safe with someone#in a sort of weirdly realistic way that makes it struggle with the conventions of video game romance but sure is Doing something!#and I unwittingly made a rook who also is on that specific arc so it's working out just devastating for me thanks for asking#the part in andrea gibson's 'prism' that's like. there is no shelter in the womb it's where you learn the cord that feeds you#could at any moment wrap around your neck. I think that's the initial understanding of love here. which is not good. if you think about it.#I don't think I really write these kinds of posts btw I just black out for a while and when I wake up from the trance I too#get to read what the fuck I've been thinking about finally. corralling that raging electric storm#that keeps overtaking my neurons at regular intervals and translating it into if not sense then certainly words. lots of words#no one is ever more surprised than me to find out what i'm thinking and feeling
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"I love you too, don't you ever forget that"
🎥: thisphantomlife | x
Riverstage, Brisbane || 11/18/2024
#let us all simultaneously cry and feel comfort together 😭😭😭#your honor i love him#he is truly and undeniably#my emotional support Some Fuckin Guy™#!!!#and so i will come back to this when I need the comfort#also this man confirmed tonight that he had lasik which. good for him!! but#I'm lowkey devastated because that means we'll never see him in glasses again!#hozier#andrew hozier byrne#unreal unearth tour#riverstage#Brisbane#cozier#he also didn't play Nobody's Soldier and instead played Someone New which most probably means his voice is still not 100% good. poor guy.#well this concludes the aus leg of the UU tour. a few more shows in NZ then he'll get to have all the rest he needs#of course that means a drought in new content for possibly years BUT remember that Unreal Unearth: Unending comes out in December!#a win is a win!#*AND* HE BROUGHT BACK THE STRIPED SHIRT. BIG DAY FOR ANNOYING PEOPLE (ME)!!!#postpone that funeral
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There’s a lot of reasons to love Jason/Jaime. Main one being: Jason dating a Batman fanboy is INCREDIBLY funny
#jaime: I think he’s a cool person and I like the fact that he doesn’t have superpowers!#he relies on hard work and dedication alone. he also gave me a candy bar when he saved me from two face#Jason trying not to stab himself: interesting. so what do you think of red hood!!! he’s cooler than batman right. right.#jaime: I think he’s cool! kinda mean. batman could take him I think.#he comes to the manor devastated#Bruce gently patting him: I think you could beat me very easily honey#jaime reyes#jason todd#gunbug#jaybeetle#I also saw ppl call them bluejay which is so cute#red hood#blue beetle#dc
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Ludinus Da'leth, to Fearne and Imogen:
The security footage of the gods he's showing them a couple months later:
#critical role#CR Downfall is a devastating tragedy of gods mortals hubris and desperate measures#the framing device of CR Downfall is a comedy in which Ludinus Da'leth learns that when you assume it makes an ass out of u and me#cr downfall#cr spoilers
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Been playing a pokemon moon soul link nuzlocke with @silverbreeze424 and of course as the seal guy I had to pick the sea lion/seal starter r you kidding ?? Anyways loved this doodle page of Delphy sooo much I decided to color and post it <3
#cal draws#pokemon#pokemon sun and pokemon moon#pkmn sun and moon#pkmnart#popplio#brionne#pokemon fanart#pkmn fanart#nuzlocke challenge#soul link#been naming all my pokemon after astronomy stuff namely constellations so far#so dephine is named after delphinus#Cayenne is silver's starter which was a litten now torracat#i do like the popplio line but brionne always felt a little off to me idk#so i had fun putting my own spin on it#the big floppy ears r specifically a delphy thing !! she just has em hehe#this is less a straight up Brionne design and more. a personalized version of a specific pokemon#like i wouldnt draw all brionne like this jusy delphy#THIS NUZLOCKE HAS BEEN DEVASTATING SO FAR. BTW .#we lost two pairs in one day . still have not emotionally recovered#been drawing both our teams btws . so im extra attached
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why is their name siffrin when you siff in the cold food and siff out hot eat the food
#While im posting this the wxs nyansei 2dmv got annoynced. needless to say WHY ARE YOU KKITY. WHY SO KITTY. WHY SO KITTY.#fitting for while my isat brainrot hits (siffrin often known to kitty)#isat#in stars and time#siffrin#I love playing games super late. im crazy btw#devastating for me to spend ~40 hours eating every piece of flavor text and hear theres a secret boss and go OMG THERES MORE HEHEEE#only to see that i just happened to fulfill the requirements for the secret boss on my own and already did it. so#steam achievement hunting vy interacting with every single pillar can fill the star shaped hole isat has left. (lol) (lol) (lol)#odile i think they are going to put me in a mental hospital#i have another drawing i did but its edgy so now im looking down on it. which is stupid. but well.#sigh ill post it kicks a rock and it ricochts off the wall and hits me right in the head like a brick
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🩶
#i don’t know which is driving me wild more#the soft pink shirt or the devastating strand of hair#(both. it’s both)#special mention to his cute little elfin ear 🥺#mr snarl when he’s just a little bit soft and dishevelled around the edges is when he’s at his most lethal#alex turner#alex gifs#arctic monkeys#am era#my gifs#lulu posts
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ok settle down anon cw: my face🗿
😍😍😍JUMPSCARE😍😍😍 this pic of me cracks me up so much because i look like that creature from aoi oni LMFAOO ok but heres a non crackhead pic of me i took today upon waking up at 5pm and before washing my face like the nocturnal disaster that i am
u can tell that i cut my own hair bc look at that stray piece hanging down and how uneven it is LMAOOO i aint payin someone like 70 bucks for a haircut THEYRE A SCAM!! I CAN DO IT MYSELF🤺🤺🤺
also since we're on the topic i posted these on twitter but if u dont have twitter and didnt see them I WANNA SHOW THEM OFF AGAIN BC THIS DRESS IS SO CUTE
its from miss patina if anyone is curious😩 i have so many of their dresses which i highly recommend and UGH....the feminine urge to draw clora in every single one of them is SO STRONG....im also a hermit and barely ever go outside so fully expect one day that im just gonna post ALL my dresses just so that i can show them off to someone LMAOO🥰🥰
#i have 3 fashion styles which is goth / academia / and animal crossing character LMAOO#i either wanna feel dainty and cute OR i wanna dress like ness from earthbound/a middle school boy with a baseball cap. my 2 wolves#i just turned 28 in april but i still look the same way i did in highscool LMAO it doesnt help that im 5ft. the gremlin energy is STRONG#i even bought an apple themed overall dress from the childrens place LOOL and also bought a matching one for my 4yo niece#the nice thing about being child-sized is u can buy child clothes for cheaper LMFAO 2 of my fav casual dresses are from gap kids BHAHAHA#DONT U JUDGE ME!!!!#ask#also i need it known im wearing a panda onesie in the first pic i LIVE in that thing....but im at my moms and dont have it rn😭😭devastated😭
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airport romance
jegulus microfic | short and sweet | i’ve spent the last 24ish hours on planes and in airports so here you go!
“I’m sorry where did you say my luggage is right now?” Regulus asks, tapping his foot and crossing his arms like the perfect caricature of a problem customer.
James takes a moment before responding, mostly because he’s forgotten all of the words in the English language. “Amsterdam.”
“You see why that’s a problem, yes? Because we are in Madrid.”
“Yes,” James replies breathlessly.
The person scolding him, Regulus, James reads from his boarding pass, is the most beautiful man he’s ever seen. Just having come off an 8 hour flight and he still looking pristine in an expensive suit.
“Great so now that we’ve established there’s a problem, what are you going to do about it?” Regulus raises his eyebrows for emphasis.
James sees an opening, so he takes it. Sliding into an easy grin he asks, “what do you want me to do about it?”
Regulus’ cheeks heat instantly, his eyes going a bit wide, and he looks away, at once becoming so much softer than the moment prior.
“Just get my bags,” Regulus says, and then he adds, “please,” looking back at James with curious eyes.
James huffs a laugh. Gotcha.
#not directly inspired by anything that has happened to me. which is good and also devastating#jegulus#james x regulus#regulus x james#starchaser#sunseeker#regulus black#james potter#marauders#marauders au#jegulus microfic#microfic tag#lane writes#jeggy travel diary
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i think we should get to spend more time with the grey company doing nice enjoyable things like baking and sitting around a campfire and telling stories and maybe making friendship bracelets have we thought about that
#lotro#signed from the devastation of the Rise of Isengard expansion and the depressing Dunland epic#i'm back on my lotro bullshit and i have DEARLY missed this game but good god i forgot how it kept making me SAD#anyway i need lotro friends#pls yell at me#though i play on arkenstone which is possibly one of the quietest servers in existence. woe be upon me#lotro playthrough tag
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Elminster's Letter / God of Ambition epilogue
Do you recall the day we first met, m'boy?
You could have been no more than eight summers' old, clutching your mother's apron, eyebrows singed off by the fireball you'd unleashed into your neighbour's rose bush. You were crying because the flowers were so beautiful, and you did mean to destroy them.
How kind, how eager, how brilliant you were. And yet so naive. You could not yet see that power so careless begets destruction, but so too might your good nature be the guiding light by which your bailities might shape our world for the better.
Where is that child now, I wonder? Did he remain at Blackstaff, nose buried in his books? Does he live within his mother's ageing heart, weeping for those roses? Or is he within you still, lost amongst the trappings of godhood you so casually adorn yourself with?
Whereever he is, I hope he can forgive me. To him I promise - I will not make the same mistakes again.
Elminster
#gale dekarios#gale of waterdeep#elminster aumar#morena dekarios#baldur's gate 3#bg3#bg3 spoilers#patch 5 spoilers#gale epilogue spoilers#bg3 patch 5 spoilers#ch: gale dekarios#ch: elminster aumar#ch: morena dekarios#vg: baldur's gate 3#series: baldur's gate#my need to find new crumbs of gale lore vs getting my heart broken by the possible endings#anyhow my friend shared this with me and it's Devastating#this also confirms that elminster knew gale as a young boy#which does make it likely that mystra did as well which we could already infer from what gale told us in his backstory reveal but#it's always nice to get more pieces of the puzzle#and yes i am well aware of the dnd timeline#it's just that larian doesn't care#so neither will i for the purposes of this post
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see the thing is I have one (1) oc but I don't have excuses to draw him bloody he's literally a robot. Sad!
#[.txt]#well I could imply he's killed someone else. But he wouldn't. Which is so sad#no gore of my comfort character :( <- reference#i mean he's Got Wires but it isn't the same thing. 12 year old me and his ocs made to be drawn dismembered would be devastated#this isn't like. edgelord territory I think that's normal for a teen who thought only about fnaf and such horror games 24/7
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*Ages of this post based on information from Jason and Tim's original runs in the 80s, as im still in the process of reading the comics and I respect original runs more anyway
Jason was 12 (pre-crisis, not contradicted) when Bruce adopted him at some point after Dick left, and Dick had left Wayne Manor for about 2 years by the time Jason died (Batman #436) making Jason 14 at death, to turn 15 that year if his birthday is August 16th
Tim is 13 when he introduces himself after Jason's death (Batman #441)
They have like, a 1-2 year age difference
Jason returns to life 6 months after his death, spends 1 year in the hospital, then 1 year on the streets before someone recognizes him as Robin, then 1 year with the league of assassin's before being thrown into the pit (Batman Annual #25)
A total of 3 years with Jason running on just instinct and muscle memory before being healed by the pit
Therefore, Jason, while physically older, is largely missing 3 years of his life
Jason is younger than Tim
Thank you coming to my ted talk
(Dont take this seriously please bcksbdjsnks)
#tim drake#jason todd#red hood#dc comics#batman comics#sometimes i see posts saying jason attacked a kid when referring to the titans tower attack on tim#jason is very much still just 1-2 years older than tim#at the absolute barest and most unreasonable minimum tim is a 16 yr getting attacked by an 18yr#as jason was 18 when put in the pit. im gonna take a wild guess here and say he spent awhile training and planning instead of immediately#starting the red hood arc#so for fun i decided to take the age situation to its extreme and say jason is younger lol#ever since jason attacked. Tim has been in a semi time loop to be 17 for the rest of his life#and is just getting younger than jason instead of aging. this is so sad#im like 100% “jason is younger than tim” has been said before by others its just so fun to me.#and i like taking a million pictures for reference whike reading comics and then getting to use those references#comic reference#OR. jason could've been 13 going on 14 when he died. which is so devastating to think about i choose not to#but it Is a possibility#timelines are so hard to think of without exact dates
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Hoshi doodles ahh
#seventeen#svt#hoshi#my art#a bit late for his birthday but that's ok i guess#why must they have their birthdays on times where i get so busy#i haven't drawn birthday art for any of the members and i am devastated#this doesn't count as birthday art btw#just fun silly little doodles for myself#i would like to draw the boys more#i would like to draw more in general :'>>#but i've been busy with my internship#ohh!! speaking of which i got accepted into an animation studio that i really like for my internship :00#honestly don't think animation is my strong suit so i'm quite surprised that i'm doing animation rn#but working there gave me a bit of confidence to try animating more on my free time#so i made a little hoshi gif :DD#it's not the best but it's pretty good for a quick little thing
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art trade from toyhouse - love this funny evil guy
#my art#anthro#furry#illustration#found the coolest new band recently and then found out they broke up earlier this year - very cool#and i definitely did not feel genuine devastation over this#they reformed as a new thing and their first single is good but i'll never hear their old stuff live!!!!!! FUCK!!!#i hate and love teeny tiny bands man they're always jumping from project to project and mutating. which is great and all for keeping fresh#but now i gotta trawl through youtube for their handful of live recordings like a starving rat in a winter shortage#they're called cheap teeth....i'd be remiss if i didn't give a shoutout to a band that somehow has less followers than me#anyway. swag#weirdfur
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their mechanisms are a blessing. they can live forever, together, chasing what they love and singing songs of happiness.
their mechanisms are a blessing. they have to live forever, apart from mortals they once cherished, chasing after what they love and singing songs of sorrow.
their mechanisms are a blessing. there's no other choice. they smile with gritted teeth as they fall over themselves reaching for what once brought such joy. they sing songs of tragedy.
their mechanisms are a blessing. one of their number is no longer living forever. no one wants to follow her. not yet. life is all they know.
their mechanisms are a blessing. they have to be. what else can they be. if they aren't a blessing, then they would have to face what was done to them what they have done.
their mechanisms are a blessing. there's less of them now. they don't sing as much as they used to.
their mechanisms- oh. there's no-one left, save for the ship herself and the toy solider, standing guard in a dilapidated corner.
their mechanisms were a blessing, i think. I don't think so, really, but what can eternal life do but corrupt?
their mechanisms were a curse, and they chased love and laughter too fast to realize.
goodnight, toy solider. goodnight aurora. may the night be restful and everlasting.
#the mechanisms#i am tired and sleepy but i am enjoying a little tea treat#please enjoy this that which emotionally devastated me
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