#jess the writer

[forkanna]

WARNINGS: The Messenger and all related characters © Sabotage Studios. Story ©2021 (and published 2024) to me. Rated M for a little steaminess in the latter half, though nothing too explicit.

NOTES: Happy New Year! Or something. I hope anyone reading this is happy and thriving, despite so many geopolitical, ecological, and economic upheavals.

I've gone quiet because I was working on a very large new fic that will be starting soon, and also just to recover from working on my previous stories, and to take care of some other life stuff. That's why, other than assisting with some friends' works, it's taken me almost half the year to release anything new. Most of you probably haven't even noticed, I'm sure, since my update schedule slowed to a crawl last year.

Believe me, I have a couple of very hefty works that are nearing the completion stage. I just hope the fandoms are alive and interested when I put them out there.

Alright, so I have a deep love of challenging platformers (challenging, not frustrating like Super Meat Boy). I wrote this one quite some time ago and simply forgot, and found it again when sifting through my files. Maybe Sea Of Stars being released will make it still be relevant, even though I'm posting it so long after The Messenger came out. If you've found it, enjoy!

Jessex

[AO3 LINK]

"So how long have you been in this shop?"

"My entire life. You think the shop is your ally? You merely adopted the shop. I was born in it, molded by it. I didn't see outside the shop until I was already…"

"…"

"That would be funnier if you were from where I'm from."

"Okay… but really, you haven't been The Shopkeeper here all your life, have you?"

"I haven't. But I also don't feel any need to tell you about my secret past, so you can probably drop that now. Don't you have a big demon to defeat or something?"

"…right."

"Good. Now go. Let me bask in a few whole seconds of peace before you come back in here and demand to know what's in my cabinet again. Nosy ninja."

"I just thought since we're spending all this time together, it might be polite to get to know you."

"Maybe I don't want to be known. Especially not about my past from before I found my way into this weird little pocket of reality. Definitely nothing about solar and lunar warriors who had to sail between dimensions. Maybe something from the after-time; I could tell you something about then."

"…"

"…"

"Do you have any stories to share?"

"Of course, here's one for you."

~ o ~

Stop me if you've heard this one. A monk walks into a bar… wait, not quite right. I'll try it again from the top.

Once upon a time, there was a beautiful monk. Very few ever got to see her face because from the moment she began training, a veil covered the lower half. Not much is known about the clan she came from other than that they trained as hard as the ninjas in their own discipline. A strong clan of true warrior women. They seemed to favour orange; orange gi, orange balaclava, orange slippers. They wear wraps around their forearms and calves that are yellow to match the yellow trim on the rest of their uniforms. Very sunny, I guess you would say. Sunny warriors.

As you probably have been able to guess by now since you keep asking me so many questions, she used to do what you do, back before the warrior from the west passed you the scroll. "Messenger" is what you'd call a revolving door position. Don't ask what a revolving door is; it's pretty self-explanatory, but also pretty horrifying. Much worse than the Burning Crags or the Underworld.

What a serious messenger the Monk was. Way better than you. She might have been your match in terms of fighting ability and athleticism — or similar, anyway — but she didn't let herself get distracted nearly as much. Discipline of the mind is just as important as discipline of the body, you know?

Yes, this is me asking you to stop with my cabinet. Again. You're like a dog with a bone.

She came in pretty often the same way you did, asking the same questions about how to climb up a wall in her way, catch air currents… you get the idea. And she didn't have as many relentless questions as some people, but we would talk here and there.

"It must be a difficult job, to guide warriors like myself to their fates."

"It's a hobby," I joked. I joke a lot. You have to break the boredom somehow. No, it's definitely not a defense mechanism to cover a plethora of anxieties.

"Oh, it is only a hobby?" She bowed, all deferential and polite. Those intriguing twin cones she styled her hair into barely even moved; she must wrap those ribbons — yellow, because why wouldn't they be — very tightly. Or maybe she just stuck them there; detachable head-cones. I've heard of weirder things. "My apologies, I should not have assumed this was your duty."

"Ah, that's… it's fine. So how do you get your hair like that?"

What? Colour me curious.

"Hm? Oh…" It was hard to tell without her veil, but I thought the way the corners of her eyes crinkled meant she was pleased. Her voice was just as reverent and respectful as always, so no help there. "You like this?"

"Yeah. I mean, it's pretty neat."

Her small-but-strong hand drifted up to caress over one of the cones. "Thank you. Many of the men and women of our order adopt such hair styles; they are appealing but functional. Long hair that is not kept in check would interfere with my ability to battle evil."

"Right, of course. I've often thought about doing something with mine, or maybe getting a cool hat."

"A… hat?"

"You know. Sits on top of your head, fashionably keeps the sun off?"

After a second of complete silence in which I really thought she might turn and stalk out of the room, completely disappointed with my conversational skills, she instead covered her mouth and began to let out the most musical, tinkling laughter I've ever heard in my life. And I've met an actual pixie before.

Don't ask to meet a pixie. The consequences are way too catastrophic.

"Ah, I see. Then I hope you will have a hat one day, Keeper of the Shop."

"Maybe." I was trying not to let on that I was having a good time; it's kind of my thing, to act like I'm just sort of aloof and indifferent. "But I can't help noticing you have pigtails, even though the cone-things are supposed to keep your hair out of the way. Fashion over function?"

She reached back to pull at one of the pigtails. "Yes… they are disliked by my master. But she has admitted that I am a more fierce monk with them in my way than any of my sisters are without them."

"You have sisters? Big family?"

"Sisters-in-arms," she clarified with another small laugh.

"Ahhh. Got it, sorry. Anyway, I think they look nice. As long as they don't get you killed by some ugly hell-beast, of course."

There was a slight twinkle in her playful deep brown eye. "They will not."

~ o ~

"That's it?"

"That's it."

"…"

"What? Don't you think that's a nice story? Isn't it cool to find out sometimes I chit-chat with other Messengers because I get super bored?"

"It's not that. I just thought you were going somewhere else with this."

"Where else? I never go anywhere but this shop. Or do I?"

"…right, but the way you described how she looked in so much detail made me think you were interested in her."

"…"

"Wow."

"What?"

"I don't think I've ever seen you speechless before."

"Watch it, ninja boy. It's just that you kind of strike me as the hapless protagonist type, so I wasn't expecting you to pick up on, well, anything."

"Oh, so you WERE interested?"

"…maybe."

"Huh."

"Oh, stop smirking. You didn't find out any great truth of the universe, you just figured out that a hottie made me take notice because I'm not blind."

"So did you do anything about it?"

"Excuse me? That's getting kind of personal, don't you think?"

"No, not really. I think you started telling me about her, and you like talking enough that you might want to tell me more if I ask."

"VERY personal now. And a little rude."

"You don't have to tell me anything. But it's really not that bad for me to just ask you to keep going, right? If you say no, you say no."

"Touché."

~ o ~

Even though you were a rude boy, and a little entitled, I'll tell you about another time the Monk came into my shop. Which was only forever, and not long at all. You'll know what that means one day, after you dance with magic.

The next few visits were pretty standard and all business. Monk wanted an upgrade that will help her take more hits, another that can transform her staff into a whip and back again. It's weird, she seemed to have a lot of trouble making it turn back into a staff… that wasn't supposed to happen, but oh well. Can't always trust Artificer's inventions but he does his best.

Which was why I gave you the rope dart instead. What would you do if you couldn't have your sword back? That'd be epically rough. Especially in the middle of a boss fight. Besides, some friends of mine had decent success with the prototype.

Then one time was a little different. She had just beaten back a throng of exhausting cultists — long story, too long for me even. And you know how long my stories can get. She seemed to need some time to rest instead of heading right back out into the fray.

"Here, take a seat back here."

"Oh?" After figuring out what I meant when I stood and moved aside, her brow furrowed a tiny bit. "Oh… no, I could not take your seat from you. This is your home."

"Well, not my home exactly… but seriously, I know you fought hard out there. Take a load off. You want some tea? Might not have any of the Astral stuff left, but…"

With a slight bow, she said in a flustered voice, "Please, you do not have to be so kind. I will be fine."

Thing is, polite as she always was even though she could easily kick my ass — and I'm no ten-pound weakling and don't you forget that, ninja boy — I could also tell she was dead on her feet. Copping a quick squat wouldn't be enough. So I did something for her that I have never done for any other Messenger, before or since.

I let her see my room.

~ o ~

"This isn't your room?"

"Yeah, of course it is. You see that big canopy bed in the corner, all those Tower Of Time Quarterly magazines on my nightstand?"

"Huh?"

"No, doofus. This is sarcasm; I'm being sarcastic. I can't sleep here if there's nowhere to sleep."

"…sometimes, you're kind of a jerk."

"And sometimes, you're kind of a doofus. Isn't it great that we can work around our differences for the good of the universe?"

"…"

"Moving on…"

~ o ~

Once we went through the secret entrance you don't get to know about because I don't think you can control your curiosity but it's also NOT that cabinet so don't assume so much, Monk let out a soft gasp when she saw how great my room was. Like, I can't undersell this enough; my ancestors really put some work into this whole place and it's gorgeous. Not super big but not small, either; a decent sized suite. Four stars all the way.

"Oh, it is beautiful!"

"Thanks. So, uh, you want anything to drink or eat? You ought to keep your strength up."

She turned from where she stood in the middle of the room, and it was even harder to ignore how she outshone my room. And this is my room; that's just about impossible.

"No, I could not impose. I am used to foraging. While I pass through the forests or the caverns, I will find mushrooms or wild greens, fruits, and prepare them by a campfire."

"Whoa. Real outdoorsy type. That's pretty dope."

"Dope? I am… you think I am stupid?"

OOPS. That not-old-school slang was going to get me in trouble. "No, no! I meant to say, uh… well, nevermind, I meant it's really neat you can do that. I bet you never have to go hungry that way." This badass warrior turned me into an awkward teenager again.

"Oh," she said softly, and I was relieved to see that slight crease in her brow fade again. Good; I already felt like crap for making her feel bad, even for a second.

"I'm really sorry. But yeah, here - I've got… okay." Yes, there was a little kitchenette. Did I not say my room was epic? "Instant ramen; I think you'll like that. Or at least, it'll fill you up and give you that carb-energy so you can do your thing tomorrow after you rest up. Man cannot live by potions and wild mushrooms alone."

"I assure you, I am fine," she told me with that laugh that set all my hair follicles tingling. "I am very grateful for your help, but please, do not go to so much trouble."

So I made her cup ramen. And yeah, you called me out on carrying a tiny torch for her monkness, so I should go ahead and admit that this wasn't exactly your top-tier first date activity. On the plus side, it wasn't like me giving her a place to rest counted as a date at all.

By the time it was finished, she had sat at my little two-person table. Honestly, I had always thought the second chair was a little redundant when I never had visitors, but figured there was no real reason to throw it out. Now I was glad I was lazy. I set one cup in front of her and another in front of the other spot - which actually wasn't my usual spot. But there was no way I was gonna tell Monk she couldn't have my seat. Even if it did bother me, which it didn't, I would have let her sit wherever she wanted, any day of the week.

"Thank you," she breathed with her palms pressed together, bowing slightly to me. She reached for the chopsticks laying across the paper lid.

"Oh - wait, you have to wait a couple of minutes."

"Hm? Why? I thought you prepared the food already…" She seemed uncertain.

"Yeah, but it's still, uh, steeping." I figured if she knew tea, she would get that one.

I was right. "Ahhh, I see. What is it? I believe I smell a broth…"

So I explained ramen. Turns out, she had something kind of similar in her own village, but definitely not the instant kind. Which I figured — for reasons. You're not ready to hear about all that.

"Okay, here," I said when it was done turning into the good stuff. I took the chopsticks and peeled off the paper fully, started stirring. "Just gotta stir it up good before you start in."

"Yes, I see," she said in a very serious tone. Why was it cute that she was serious about this? It wasn't; I just thought she was cute, so everything she did was… I'm gonna stop talking about that.

After I slurped up some noodles, I watched her carefully. Maybe this would be when I got to see her face. It was fine if she wasn't ready, or was shy, or if it was part of her tradition that monks didn't show their faces. I can relate. But if I was allowed…

No such luck. She leaned forward in such a way that her veil hung forward, so I still couldn't see her face but she was free to bring the noodles to her mouth. Then she sat back and chewed. Dang. Still, at least she seemed to like them well enough, if the way her eyes closed briefly in contentment was any indication.

"Not too hot?"

"It is very good, thank you." She let out a tiny sighing noise that may have been a burp; she was that kind of badass angel that could make even that adorable. Literally goals. But I noticed she was staring at me very intently.

"What?"

"What more can I do? Against the Primal Fear. I would really like to conquer it very soon, and help to restore peace."

"You're not ready," I told her simply, even though I was a little distracted by that thumping noise. What was it? Oh — right, it was my heart.

"I am ready. You have told me yourself that I'm the strongest Messenger you have ever seen. Is it not my duty to go and stop this darkness, so no others need to die?"

"Oh, if only it were that simple." Wow, it was so hard to endure the intensity of those eyes staring through my soul. I almost felt like I wouldn't make it. Before I knew what I was doing, I reached across the table to rest my hand on top of her clenched fist.

"Give it time. You have trained harder than anyone I've ever met, but training isn't the same as out there doing the real thing. Kick a little more butt, take a few more names, and you'll get there. You'll be ready for the Primal Fear someday."

A little at a time, the tension in her posture began to ease. I really expected her to say something like thanking me for putting everything in perspective, or for her to argue with me about it again. Instead…

"Do you like to… touch my hand?"

"Do I huh? Oh." After an awkward pause, I took my hand away. "Sorry about that. Probably should have cut that out once I was done saying my thing."

"You do not need to apologize. I'm beginning to think you care for me."

"A-ahh, well that's not-"

"I care for you, too."

Well. I'm really damn lucky she cut me off, because I had been about to deny everything. It's not my job to hit on The Messengers; it's my job to make sure they carry the scroll, that they don't come back as corpses. Even though I didn't really want to lie to anybody, it was way smarter not to get feelings complicating the whole arrangement.

Except she went and said that. Went and told me I wasn't the only one.

"Y-you do?"

"Of course. You have been so helpful to me, so wise and generous. I could not have come this far without your guidance. What kind of monster would not grow to care for you?"

I'm looking at you, ninja.

"Aww, I'm just doing what I can…"

Leaning forward intently, she said, "You must have been a very strong Messenger. I would love to spar; there is so much we could learn from each other."

"Spar? Really? You and me? I, uh… I might be a little out of practice." Not very. I mean, I still tried to keep fit, even though there's only so much you can do standing behind a desk in the shop all day. Still, I knew I couldn't drop my guard entirely; any day I might be called upon to step in again. I just hoped it wouldn't be for the usual reason.

Monk finished off another slurp of her noodles and sat back to nod eagerly at me until she was finished chewing. "Yes! Even if you are, I am sure I will still learn much!"

"Well… if you wanted to go now, we could. Probably better now than after we finish all our noodles."

"Oh, will they not grow cold?"

"I can heat 'em up again, no sweat."

So we got up and paced into the middle of the room. Have I mentioned how happy I was that she was taller than me? God, tall women are absolutely goals. She took up her staff and pointed the business end at me, though her head tilted to one side after a moment.

"You will not take off your robe?"

"Oh. Yeah, that would probably be good, even though I don't really need to." We had all trained to fight in those big blue robes. I mean, if you can't fight in your uniform, then it's obviously a pretty crappy uniform for an order of mysterious warriors, right?

When I took it off and draped it over the back of my chair, I heard a quiet noise from Monk. Of surprise, maybe? I hoped not of disappointment. But when I turned back to look at her, she was all business, ready to start smacking each other around.

"You okay?"

"Yes," she confirmed with a dutiful nod. "I am ready when you are."

So we did the martial arts thing. I'm sure you know how this goes well enough that I don't have to explain. I wasn't all that surprised that she kicked my butt from here to Glacial Peak, but I did at least put up a pretty good fight first. At some point, I tossed aside my belt and we both kicked off our shoes, and we went a lot harder than you would probably think I could, anyway. We traded bruises and bloody lips and we loved every minute.

Eventually we collapsed back into the chairs with two cups of cold water in front of us that I had grabbed before giving up on being able to move for a little while. Even though I couldn't see her mouth, Monk looked elated.

"You… have fun beating me up? Huh, bully?"

She seemed alarmed by that accusation, even if it wasn't serious. "I… I am not!" But then we both laughed breathlessly. That old thing about really getting to know somebody when you fight them? I guess it was pretty true, even though a good cup of tea and a long conversation will do a pretty similar job for you.

"Was only kidding," I panted a minute later, when we had caught our breath and downed some water.

And I know this is probably getting annoying, but if I thought she was the bee's knees before… with her face flushed and chest heaving, sweat matting her hair slightly — not to mention the strength just radiating off her in waves…

"Keeper?"

"Huh?"

"I asked if we could have a rematch another day," she repeated, eyes crinkling at the corners in amusement. I got distracted way too easily; maybe it was because I had burned up my ability to ignore how good she looked while sparring with her. Yes, normally I can keep my eyes on the prize, but watching how gracefully she fought… it tested me more than the sparring.

"You… bet we can." Another sip of water to coat my suddenly-dry throat. "Sorry… I was supposed to let you… rest."

"It is alright. You do not need to worry about me; I can resume my mission now."

"No, no way. Stay, finish the noodles, take a shower and grab a nap. Or, I mean, in whatever order…"

But Monk was already shaking her head. "I cannot take that much time away from my mission. Great evil will not wait to be vanquished; it will punish the world until we stop its progress."

"Actually… it can wait."

"What?"

"Okay, so this might be a little high-concept for you, but…" Normally, we would put her through the big challenge and unlock some new abilities — don't ask, spoilers and all — once she had proven herself before she got to know any of this, but I could give her a few basics. "Time stands still in here. More or less. So when you're in here, it's like everything has stood still out there."

The Monk blinked a few times, sitting perfectly still.

"Think about it this way; imagine you're on a surfboard-"

"No, no, I already think I understand. I am just… confused as to how this can be true. You also will not tell me where this really is, and why I can come here from so many different doorways. It is magic, yes? But what kind of magic can be so powerful?"

Damn, that would teach me to underestimate a badass amazonian warrior monk.

"That's… a secret. You might find out someday. But yeah, take a load off, rest and recuperate. Then you can head out in the morning, ready to kick primal caboose - and it will be like you never left. Trust me."

Chuckling a little at my wordplay, she said, "You are… very kind." Then she took another long drink. "Very well. I will do this, because there is wisdom in what you say; if I am exhausted, I will stumble, and cannot be the best hero for our world that I can be."

"There ya go. That's all I was trying to say."

"Do you have a hot bath? It is very good for relaxing the sore muscles."

~ o ~

"What a player."

"Hey, watch it, kid. I didn't 'play' anything."

"You got her into a bath."

"Uh, yeah, in another room. I promise, not one second did I spend in the same room as the bath. I saw nothing."

"Hmmmm."

"Do you want to hear the rest of this story or not?"

"Actually… I'm not sure. It's starting to sound like it's too personal for me to hear."

"Oh."

"What?"

"No, you're just always such a busybody that I kind of expected you to keep drinking this up like Kool-Aid."

"Like what?"

"It's… don't worry about that one. One day, you may be ready for the legend of the Purplesaurus Rex. I'll skip ahead a tiny bit."

~ o ~

Or a lot.

Like I said, not a dang thing happened other than me giving her some hospitality. Yes, I got to see what she would look like in a blue robe after her bath, which was kind of exciting in a weird way. It was like she was closer to me because she was becoming part of the Order — even though that was a ways off. Still gave me a little cold chill.

Monk had been through quite a bit by the time there was another shift. We sparred a few more times, shared meals and conversations. And she came back battered and scarred, I put her back together. She slid me all the Time Shards she found in the past and I did what I could for her with them. We were definitely friends, and probably somewhere in the best friend category, no matter what the Artificer says about him and me. The Prophet is actually his bro.

And she underwent her Trial. More on that for you when you're ready.

Don't give me that look. Be a big boy and wait your turn.

God's honest truth was, it hurt my soul a little to see her becoming a bit more jaded. Not a lot; don't get me wrong, she was still the strongest Messenger I've ever known, and brave, and like a ray of sunshine in a Dark Cave. But I could see the cracks forming in her heart that anyone got when they faced great evil day in and day out.

That's why I tried to give her so many breaks. More and more often, she would sleep on the futon I got for her, since she had outright refused to use a real Western bed; said it wasn't good for her back. I've heard it both ways, but didn't want to argue. And we laughed, trained, ate, and generally got very comfortable with each other. Even though to her, it was like we only met up once every few days. But to me, I saw her all the time — not that I'm complaining, of course.

My Monk had just come back from a particularly brutal battle in which she managed to restore Rivière Turquoise to its former glory. This time, I wanted to surprise her with something a little fancier. Don't ask me how, but I got my hands on some damn good sushi, and a bottle of sake. I knew she didn't believe in imbibing alcohol while she was on mission because it dulled the senses and ability to react, which I can't argue with, but I also knew this one was going to mean she needed to rest up and recuperate more than usual. I was grateful to steal more time with her whenever I could. Oh, I wasn't going to do anything to force that, but I sure as hell wasn't going to fight against it, either; I would just appreciate every moment we had together.

Remind me to tell you the story about the crystal pumpkin patch sometime.

She was leaning pretty heavily on her staff when she came in. I felt my stomach drop. Was she going to make it? I hurried out from behind my desk and helped her along.

"I am fine," she hissed through her teeth.

"Liar."

"I do not lie! I… I will be fine. That is the truth."

"Yeah, well… can you tell me what hurts? Your leg?" A reluctant nod as we entered my sparkly, sparkly room. Like, seriously, if you ever saw it you wouldn't be able to get over it, man. "Alright, we're officially giving you a vacation."

"I do not… want…" But a heavier wince made her bite her lips and nod. "Yes. I do not want to… fail at our mission, so I will… do as you say."

"Thank you. And hey, it's not gonna be so bad. Do you… do you wanna eat? Maybe you're not in the mood to eat."

"I must," she told me with a half-snort. I was sure she was smiling, even though I couldn't see. "If I am to heal, I must have nutrition, yes?"

So we ate. I made sure the sake was hot, both to soothe her aches and because like, it's supposed to be hot. Cold sakes are a different thing. Anyway, she told me all about her fight to help bring her buddy, the Butterfly Matriarch, in and dispel all the creepy crawlies. Fun stuff, but I'm trying to avoid that story-within-a-story thing so I'll just say she's kind of amazing. In case you haven't figured that out already.

"Ohhh, that was perfect," she sighed as she relaxed back against her chair.

"Thanks. I ordered it myself."

"So modest. You still wished for me to have this wonderful meal. I feel… appreciated. Cared for." We shared a smile, even though neither of us could see the other's mouth. We just knew. "And a little affected by the cups."

Trying to tease, I said, "Oh, you got drunk? Off just that?"

"Not 'drunk'," she huffed playfully. "I said 'affected'."

"How affected, then? Do you wanna take a nap before we get you that hot bath?"

"No. I just want to continue to speak with you, and to relax. We can do both of these together." I could see her glance at me, then away. "My arms are very sore."

"Yeah, I bet they are."

Another tiny hesitation. "I might want some help washing my back."

"Oh, right — I have a back scrubber. It's just mine, so I didn't wanna assume you would want to use it after me. Some people are funny about sharing stuff like that."

~ o ~

"WOW."

"Listen, I know you are probably all suave and cool with the ladies, Mr. Forever Alone Ninja, but I definitely didn't have any game. And hanging around alone in a shop for years on end doesn't polish that social skill, either."

"Right, but even I know when someone asks for help with washing their back, they don't mean they just want you to get them a brush."

"Yeah, yeah…"

"No, no, it's kind of cute."

"Excuse me?"

"You act so all-wise and all-knowing all the time that it's nice to hear you being very human."

"I do not act like that."

"You totally do."

"No. I'm just serious about my job."

"Then why are you always sharing stories about your eternal wisdom?"

"Not once have I said 'eternal wisdom'. I just like to contemplate the complexities of the universe, and try to unravel a few of them. I think every well-rounded mind does the same."

"Well, I don't."

"Did I stutter?"

~ o ~

Anyway, if you're through interrupting… yes, she did blink stupidly at me as if waiting for me to catch up. You might be rude, but you're not wrong.

"You… want me to…?"

"I apologise," she breathed with a low bow, her balaclava brushing the table just in front of her plate. "This was too forward of me."

"No, no way! I only… I didn't want to make any… yeah, I'm not good at this kind of thing."

"At washing another's back?"

"No, at…" I stopped when she started to giggle. "You're mocking me. Great. I really am the world's biggest idiot."

"You are not. But I think it is sweet that you do not want to… corrupt me, perhaps. You are so wise and your heart is so pure."

Trying to make myself keep talking before her praise really caught up to me and the stammering began, I blurted out, "Yours, too. I mean, you really are the best person I've ever known in my life. And I've known persons."

We both laughed a little at that last part, starting to relax. She rose from the table with some difficulty, and I was quick to put my arm around her, and hers around my neck, helping to support her as she made her way into the bathroom.

"In our temple," she began to tell me as I turned on the tap to fill the tub with hot water, dumping some bubbles in distractedly, "there is no modesty. Our order is only women, and there is nothing to fear. The males of our clan are much the same in their temple, though they are not warriors in the same way we are."

"Matriarchal society? That's pretty neato."

"We also… will take lovers, at times. Some from the other temple, some from the same temple. Some from both. All is equal to us."

The way she spoke as she began to unwind the bindings around her forearms and calves was very careful, contemplative. I could see her watching me for reactions, as if hoping I wouldn't freak out and say she came from a bunch of weirdos.

"That sounds like an amazing place," I reassured her. And I meant that from the bottom of my heart.

"Yes. One day, I may take you there if it is possible. They frown on visitors inside the temple, but I could show you the grounds."

Why did that sound like a dream come true? I mean, even though taking a tour of a hidden monk temple where they trained the world's best badasses would be cool regardless, going with her… "Yeah. Maybe once all this settles down, we can do that. Sounds like one of the best places ever."

"I have always felt this way. If not for my calling, I would love to finish my days there, making our order the greatest it can be."

"Must be nice." When I saw her reach for the lapel of her gi, I turned away and put my hand over my eyes; never can be too careful.

"You are shy."

Called out. "Well, nah. It just… it's no big deal where you're from but it is where I'm from. Especially for complicated reasons I won't go into. So I'm just gonna… not."

"I respect that," she told me deferentially. There was a quiet splash, a few more noises of shifting around in water. "I am covered. You added soap to this bath?"

When I turned back and saw that she was, indeed, up to her shoulders in suds, I let out a sigh of relief. Laugh if you will, but I was already all twitchy just from the situation as it was; I didn't think I could handle more than that. "Well, it's a special soap."

"What makes it special?"

"The way it looks and smells," I answered honestly. "I thought about bath-bombing you, but I don't have any on hand, and I already made a special trip for the sushi."

She looked over her shoulder. Of course she still had the balaclava on; even in the bath. Weird but it seemed to be a thing. "You would cause my bath to explode?"

"Oh… no, it's… nevermind." I pulled up a tiny stool and perched it behind her, picking up the soap and a washcloth and dipping it into the water. Would music be too much? I did have a jukebox… no, I decided it was too much. "Hope I'm not getting too irritating."

"Irritating? In what way?"

"Demanding you hang back and rest. I know you know it's important and don't need me telling you; I'm really not trying to parent you or anything."

Her head shook very slightly as she reached up to begin undoing her head-cone-things. That surprised me; since she left the veil on, I thought those would stay in place, too. "It is not a bother. Sometimes…" She hesitated, both with words and actions. "Sometimes I do become focused on my task and I forget to rest, especially when the task is so great."

"Oh, I don't think it's so great," I tried to joke. She only looked puzzled; I had to stop doing that. "I mean, it's rough that we have to put you through this. Crucial for our survival, but rough."

"Yes, I understand this very well. I know you would not wish to put anyone in danger if it were not important."

All I wanted was to keep my mind focused on the task at hand, and on our conversation. Not on how strong and graceful her back was, her shoulders, her slender neck… honestly, that "broke the mold" joke is stupid. I usually hate it. But with Monk? Yeah. There aren't any others like her in at least five space-time continuums — and that's just how she looks.

"Keeper?"

"Hm?"

"I said that your hands are very gentle. Was this the wrong thing to say?"

"Sorry," I laughed nervously. "Normally I'm more eloquent than this. I blame TV."

"Tee-vee?"

"Nevermind." Ugh, I said I was going to stop doing that! All she was doing was being her usual self and I was tripping all over myself like a noob. "Thanks, I'm… trying to help as best I can. It's not just a job, it's an adventure."

At least that dated reference just sounded like a normal phrase.

"This is not so adventurous," she said with a soft chuckle, her eyes smiling at me. Smizing; I got Monk smizing, I was stepping on cloud nine. "But I would have it no other way."

"Yeah, you don't want to have to jump over spike pits on your downtime, too."

"Not this. I meant…" She turned carefully in the water — I could tell it was out of respect for me and how shy I was, trying not to make me see anything I wasn't ready for. Honestly an angel. "It is an honour to share this quiet peace. I sense the sweetness of your soul, and the pains that have brought you to this place and time. Even though I have met your brothers, I do not feel this connection I feel with you."

~ o ~

"You have brothers?"

"Don't worry about that."

"I'm gonna worry about it."

"See, that's the problem with you. Even when I give you what you've been clamoring for, this extremely private story, you still complain that I'm not giving you every last niggling detail. You must be a riot at parties."

"…"

"Now stop interrupting."

~ o ~

Actually, you know what? You need to learn that actions have consequences. Even unintended actions. In this case, nagging and interrupting and generally being a bad listener aren't even unintended, so we're skipping the rest of the bath. No - don't make that face at me, you spoiled shinobi. I had a rhythm going and you threw me off, so I'm just going to advance to the next checkpoint. Maybe if you were a better audience I'd teach you how to do that in your mission. It's actually super easy.

Nope, too late now. You played yourself.

Once she was clean and I was glad I had my hood up to hide my glowing red face, she had changed into a spare robe and I tossed her outfit in the laundry. Like, that was the least I could do. We sat in front of the fireplace — hey, there's a fireplace — and relaxed in silence for a little while. When I got anxious, I put on some music from the jukebox; might as well.

"Ohhh, this is very interesting," she told me as she sipped from the water glass I also got her. Yeah, I'm a real charmer, pulling out all the stops. "I have not heard music like this before… I am not sure how to feel about it."

"Yeah, it's called hair metal."

"It is made from metal and hair?" When I was just silent, she laughed. "I am sorry. I have sensed that you are from a very different world from mine, and I am not familiar with your customs. But I have seen how you try to accommodate my ignorance."

"No, no, not ignorance. Just… okay, yeah, that is the right word. But it's only because you've never even had the chance to see my world. I'd give you a crash course, but I feel like it would be a lot of random stuff you just don't need, especially when you're trying to focus on the mission and all."

Monk crossed her legs comfortably. When the hem pulled up past her foot, I had a random thought: that bare ankle would really get me going if I was from a bygone period of history… but then I realized that I was in a bygone period of history from my own perspective.

Yes, there's your big spoiler: I'm from an advanced civilization. You should be able to figure that out by looking around this shop.

"And after my mission?"

"What?"

"When I am finished battling the Primal Fear and any other forces of darkness; when I restore peace. May I return to hear about your world?"

I don't know why this caught me by surprise. Honestly, it shouldn't have; we got along pretty well, but I still was shook. "You'd want to come back?"

"Of course. Are we not becoming friends?"

"Yeah! I mean, of course, I could consider us pretty good friends by now. I just didn't want to assume… I mean, it could be a work-friends deal."

"Work-friends?"

"You know, we're comrades-in-arms. Doesn't have to mean we want to hang out after the war is over… but I would, for sure," I was quick to reassure her. I didn't want to even leave one second in which she thought I was done when this was done.

"Ahh, yes, I understand this." She bowed her head slightly. "Thank you for considering my feelings. Even if…"

My heart froze as I waited for her to respond. Finally, I said, "Even if…?"

"Even if you do not understand them. I thought I was making them clear. But I know it is perhaps not what you expected — especially from a woman. Our masters teach us that not everyone's minds are as open as those of our order-"

"I'm gonna stop you there. Where I'm from, most people are open like that. A few are still stuck in the bigoted past of our own region, sure, but… you're not scaring me off. In fact, I…"

Now it seemed to be Monk's turn to hold her breath. I felt bad seeing her lean toward me a little and whisper, "Yes?"

"Sorry. I've actually never felt like this about anyone before. Didn't think I could. So I just… normally I know what to say, but I never developed this skill."

"Do you?" She looked away slightly. I mean, the opening of her hood did; I could tell even less what she was thinking or feeling with that hood up. Makes me sympathize with even you. "I had told myself that my heart was foolish. You were not from our world, your women did not accept feelings from women, or… you only felt friendship for me. I would have understood."

"Oh, same, same," I reassured her quickly. "We really- sheeze, this is some sitcom BS."

"Hm?"

Leaning over, I took one of her hands. Hard as it was to push through my hangups and self-esteem issues when it came to this kind of thing, no way was I going to leave it up to Monk to make every move. This was about both of us; it should be both of us moving forward. I might look lazy sitting behind my counter all day every day, but no. I'm not lazy. I don't believe in laziness at all.

"If you're sure… then yes. I'm right there with you."

Her breath caught, and her other hand came up to hold onto both of ours. Her hands were somehow both soft and rough; a result of her being so gentle but training so hard. I kinda loved that.

"Then we are here together."

"I guess so. I don't know where 'here' is gonna be, but I'm… I am absolutely ready to find out if you are."

Monk laughed at me a little as we both stood up. "This is a simple journey, Keeper. I have traveled it before, though the destination was a parting. Perhaps with you… we will not part."

"So, a lot of guys in your past?" I guessed. She shook her head. "Girls?"

No comment. Instead, all she did was push our hoods together and…

~ o ~

"What, no interruption?"

"Are you kidding? You made it pretty clear I was interrupting too much before."

"Wow. He CAN be taught."

"But I do have to confess, I'm… surprised about a couple of things."

"Go on?"

"Well, first of all… you know."

"What?"

"…"

"I mean, does it really matter? Whichever of the two things that are immediately coming to mind. I don't think either of them matter in the long run."

"I suppose it doesn't. Especially since we're supposed to be worrying about defeating evil, not morality."

"Morality. Right."

"But I hope you two are happy together."

"Yes, well… that's another story for another time. Not this one in this time."

"Oh. I'm sorry."

"Nah, it's fine. I haven't even explained the rest of what happened. But you should probably get going; there's a lot of violent jerks out there to take down."

"Yes, I do want to stop the Demon King. But take care of yourself, alright?"

"Always do."

"And I'll be back for what happened later."

"Oh, I know. You never seem to get enough of these stories, no matter what I do to discourage you from asking me to tell them. So I'm sure I'll see you again soon."

"I'm sure you will."

~ o ~

Okay. He's gone. I wasn't about to tell that little pervy ninja all the sordid details; it would distract him too much from the mission. But you? I guess I could let you hear the rest. Obviously you're still here, so you must have an insatiable curiosity.

No, not the ninja. You. Can't you tell I'm talking to you now?

All the Monk did was push our hoods together and ghost her lips over mine. Such a simple start to something so powerful. My experiences were very limited but I knew enough to know this was bigger than anything else I had experienced before.

That was without my poor brain trying to figure out how in the hell I got Monk interested in me. Monk. We didn't even know each other's names! I know that in the end, a name can only tell you so much about a person, but it still seems like some kind of prerequisite for a meaningful relationship.

"I have been too forward."

"No, no," I was very quick to reassure her as my hand moved up to rest on her shoulder. "Just forward enough. One of us has to do something or we'll never get anywhere."

We stood awkwardly for a long moment, trying to figure out where to go from there. We shared another kiss, a little longer, a little more firm. Her lips were as soft as the pressure was strong, and I was living for that contrast. Our hands explored each other's bodies through those blue robes that served a function we both felt was becoming increasingly unimportant in this current moment.

"How… will we proceed?"

"Huh?"

Voice coming over a little shy, she continued quietly, "I… think you have figured out by now that you cannot see my face. My clan will not allow it. And neither will yours, is it not true?"

"It's… discouraged, yeah." My fingers ghosted over lips I could not see in the darkness under her hood. "And I really wish that wasn't the same, because I bet you're the most beautiful woman on the planet. Maybe a few planets."

At least I could make her laugh. But the laughter turned sad towards the end. I knew she was fighting certain feelings and needs warring within herself, and I wanted nothing more than to push a button and solve that war for her. No human as phenomenal as her should have to endure such inner conflict. But the world is a crappy place sometimes.

"We… cannot. But perhaps if there were no lights…"

She had a good point. That was about the only way we could probably move forward. So I reached both hands over my head… and clapped twice, plunging my room into utter darkness save for the dim flicker of the fire in the fireplace.

"What- what is this magic?"

"The Clapper. It's an ancient artifact from another reality; pretty mundane stuff there. But if you ordered one, they would give you a second one for free - you just had to pay separate processing and handling."

"Oh I see. I should not be impressed, and so I am not." The playfulness in her voice sent a tingle down my spine. "Have you trained in darkness to sharpen your senses?"

"Yeah. It's been a while, but…"

Maybe I imagined it, but there was a slight lilt in her voice as her hand slid down my forearm to take mine. "I will lead you."

She led me. Even though she had only been in my room a handful of times, she pulled me through the darkened room over to my bed as if this were her room and I was the guest. I don't know about you, but that kind of confidence does things for me. Butterfly-stomach things.

"Can your clapper extinguish the fire? There is still some light."

Knowing it was corny as hell, I leaned in to whisper, "Nothing can extinguish my fire." At least it worked; she kissed me again with no waiting, hands clasping at my back and shoulders.

The best part was, we both forgot to care about anything else as the passion roared, our need to be as close as we could be overpowering our caution and duty to preserve our secrets. Or modesty for that matter. The firelight was low enough that I still couldn't see her face; just outlines of shapes. But I knew if I could see more I would think her no less beautiful than I already did.

Even with our hormones cranked to eleven, there was a brief intermission once we were bare to each other and our bodies pressed flush.

"Oh? O-oh."

"Monk-"

"I… I see. You truly are from another world."

"Sorry, I know I might not be what you expected. Say the word and we can put those robes back on, or I can go check to see if your gi is dry."

I more felt than saw her head shaking as she kissed her way down my chest. "Do you think I cannot rise to such a simple challenge as this? How you underestimate me."

"No, never. I'm just trying not to overestimate me."

"You do not," she breathed kindly against my hip before kissing it. And that was it. No messy overreactions, no long talks needed. We connected and it was pretty great.

Acceptance can mean everything sometimes.

Not to get too detailed, and I'm still not going to get as detailed as you might wish I would, but neither of us is known for slacking off exactly. We were fit and we were determined, and it took a couple of hours and a dozen different positions before we were both satisfied completely. Even then, we still lay panting on our backs with some of our limbs entwined, not wanting to be too far from each other.

"Well… that was a thing."

"It was a very good thing. I… I am relieved that I did not do anything… which did not please you."

"Huh? Oh, it's all good. I'm not even usually that interested in, uh, in this. But you're different. You… make me want so much more."

Monk rolled to curl her form around me, and I tell you what, I almost started it all off again. I wanted to, and felt like I could have, which is pretty rare for me, to be honest. She just felt that phenomenal. "I am different?"

"N-not in a bad way. Not at all."

"Yes. Well, I feel the same for you; I am… delighted at our differences. Exploring this with you was very enlightening, and… and I have very much enjoyed every revelation."

Man, when was the last time I smiled this much? I don't know. Probably never. "Right back at you." Experimenting with a very unfamiliar action, I kissed her temple, and she hummed her appreciation. So that went well, I guess.

"You have given me so much. Today, you have given me something twice."

"Oh, so that was twice. Cool. I wondered if… well, you made beautiful noises and all, but it didn't have to mean-"

"It did mean this," she reassured me, and we both laughed a little. "I have another question."

"Shoot."

"It is really alright for me to rest? I feel restless, as if I must confront the evil right now. But you have assured me that time will not pass here. If… this is really true…"

I turned to face her. In the dark. Why? Don't ask me, it was a natural reaction. "Yeah, it is. Why, what's up?"

"Then I would choose to stay with you for another day."

"Why?" Another automatic reaction; I tried to fix that. "I mean, u-uh, yeah. Yeah, definitely. There's no one to come into the shop since you're the current Messenger, so I don't really have to go to work. And… there's nowhere else I'd rather be than this bed, with you."

Listen. It might have been a line, but some of that stuff just comes out naturally when you catch the big L-word. And I was pretty sure I was terminal.

"You cannot mean this." She hesitated, then pressed that goddamn hot yoga body right up against me even harder. "But if you do, only after passing one night together, then I will stay."

"You'll stay," I agreed, unable to believe my ears. "A-and, uh… don't worry, we'll robe up again when we have to move."

"Thank you. I want to see your face, and I have known your desire to see mine is strong. If not for the ways of my clan…"

I nodded. "Yeah, I get it. And it's not as hard and fast for mine; more like a suggestion to keep things clean and easy. But it only feels right that we both respect it so it's not, y'know, one-sided."

"Yes, I understand this feeling. But if you wanted to show me, I would feel no anger."

"Noted." That teasing hand between my thighs made me hiss, "Wow, you are- this is more than I expected."

"You are more than I expected. And you are ready for another… sparring session?"

"I, uh… I really don't think we should call it that." Feeling bold, I moved my hand to the corresponding area on her body, and I probably enjoyed her gasp of surprise a little too much. Oh well. "Seems like we're in the same boat."

I could just barely hear a laugh — because she was busy rolling over on top of me, kneeling, her hips over my hips. Then to my surprise, she started raising one of my legs up to drape over her shoulder, shifting herself sideways until she was positioned above my thigh still resting on the bed. And if that doesn't paint a good enough word picture for you, well, I'm not going to try again.

"You are familiar with… the Splitting Bamboo?"

"I… I, uh…" I had read the Kama Sutra, yes. Did I remember every position? No. I just never imagined I would need to know them for any reason, at all. Not until this phenomenal Monk entered my life and did her best to turn it upside-down.

"You will become familiar with it. Tonight."

Talk about a self-fulfilling prophecy…

  EPILOGUE

"Why didn't you tell me?"

"Tell you what? That we're playing Twenty Questions? Oh — right, because we're not doing that."

"That you were sending me off to fight your ex-girlfriend."

"You know what? This, right here. This is the reason you're not even my favorite ninja from the village. Rock Lesieur would have been way less of a pain in the tail…"

"…"

"Fine. Yes, the Queen of Quills is the Monk. Or at least… I'm certain of it now."

"You weren't before?"

"Just had a fairly strong feeling she was."

"Shopkeeper, I will search for a way to get her out of that swamp."

"Marsh."

"What?"

"It's a marsh, not a swamp."

"What's the difference?"

"Swamps have more trees. In fact, they should have a lot of trees, while marshes usually just have shrubbery, et cetera. And fungi, as you probably picked up on."

"Oh. Wow, learn something new every day."

"Don't try to sound smart now that you just had your ignorance gap filled."

"…okay, I'm going."

"Wait."

"What?"

"Thanks. For offering. I don't really believe there is a way to save her now that she's been so far gone for so long, but… maybe the fact that her form is…"

"…"

"Nevermind. I'm not getting my hopes up. Just go do what you do best."

"I'll try. See you soon."

"Fingers crossed."

~ o ~

Listen, I know I'm a little harsh on the kid. But he needs it if he's ever going to be a big strong Blue Robe.

A little bow on top of this story — just for you, not for him. The last thing a guy like that who already has a swelled head needs is yet more swelling. Therefore, he doesn't get to know the full details of this ending.

We did the thing. Every last scrap of evil we could find on Messenger Island had been eradicated. And of course, the issue was, there was no time while we were busy trying not to wind up as scurubu-chow for my old flame and I to reconnect and decide how we felt about everything. Crazy how near-apocalypses can kill the mood like that.

While everybody was patting each other on the back, and old Phantom was trying to catch up on all he missed thanks to the efforts of the Artificer and the Prophet's conversational skills, I managed to steal Monk away to my room — where Ninja still couldn't follow us. Don't worry, he and Iron Hood were chatting about collectible figurines or some crap; they were occupied. Nobody was a total wallflower in this we-defeated-Demon King-finally celebration.

"Keeper of my Heart!" she breathed as soon as the door was closed, throwing her arms around me. That familiar weight, the firm muscle beneath her soft, well-worn gi, breathed new life into me that I hadn't even noticed was absent when she was absent. It was like a rebirth.

"Shhh, shhh," I soothed her when I heard the tears begin. Someone so strong and she was breaking for me… or maybe she was strong enough to break around another person. "I got you, Monkey. Oh geeze, I missed you so much…"

By the time we could actually talk again, I had brewed us some non-Astral tea and we were sitting in my new chairs. Oh yeah, I got new chairs; they had slight cushions to the seats. I decided there was no reason to sit on rigid wood when you could add a dash of comfort. At the same time, I didn't want to add too much comfort, or they would be… you aren't listening. You stopped listening and at this point, I'm almost entirely certain you are skimming through this paragraph to see where the next interesting development comes about. Fine, I guess I won't mince words, since you don't appreciate them anyway. Unless you did legitimately read this far, then all is forgiven, naturally.

"Have you told the others?"

"Huh? Told them what?"

She dipped her head the tiniest bit in chagrin. Shoot me, but that was the cutest thing ever. "Of who we are to each other."

"Are? I mean, I haven't seen you in… it really has been a long time. Even here. So I've just been mourning on my own time, when I haven't been hand-holding that cloud-stepping goofball out there."

"He is not so bad," she laughed softly, her balaclava rustling slightly as she looked down into her cup. "After all… he made it possible for you and I…"

She had me there. I leaned forward on my forearms to whisper, "I would babysit for his kids for the rest of my life if that was what it took. And I hate kids."

"Ah, yes, I remember you mentioning this to me. No matter." She took a contemplative sip before setting the cup down on the table. "Keeper, I want to tell them."

"Tell them what?" She just blinked. "Oh, about that. Why? Do we really need to complicate things by-"

"I am proud to be close to you. For us to have paired our hearts together for all time. Are you not proud of the very same?"

Well, when she put it like that… "That's not what this is. Of course I wouldn't mind having the hottest Monk in the world on my arm, but I kind of also… like… it's silly."

"Tell me."

"I like having you all to myself. My little secret — me being your little secret. But…" I sighed, turning my own teacup. "You're right. It's been fun, but we lost too much time. I don't want to waste more trying to be cagey and sneak around, when we can just come out to everybody as here-and-queer."

"We are coming somewhere queer?"

"Hey, we tried that once, and it was uh… different," I half-joked. But then, of course, I did the legit explaining. "But this time, what I meant was, uh, that we aren't a 'traditional couple' according to some people. They might look at us funny. But I would never let that stop me, and I know in your culture it's not even a thing, anyway."

The corners of her eyes crinkled in vague bemusement. And love. It still struck me temporarily dumb to see so much affection in those deep, contemplative eyes of hers.

"I know you would not. For you are far braver than most of those who wear the blue robe think. I know that if your ninja had failed to save me, you would have done it yourself."

"Oh yeah? And how do you know that? You act like I'm just such a useless gay that-"

Her fingers were suddenly covering my mouth, which she found so easily despite the presence of my hood. Closer and closer, she slid as she pressed me down into my chair, and I was so mesmerized by her eyes…

…that I almost missed a magical new detail. The faintest hint out of the corner of my eye of beautiful lips, ones I still had yet to see until that second, forming words that spawned brand new butterflies.

"Not useless. Never useless to me, Keeper of my Heart."

Then she was kissing me, and I couldn't worry that I had seen more than I should have, or that she was going to be mad, or that her clan was going to throw her out, or any of that. All I could think was that she was beautiful, she was strong, she was wise, she was… everything. Whatever crazy notion made her think I was worthy of her, it would be really stupid to look a gift-horse in the mouth.

Because against all the odds, I had my Monk back. That was the gift that kept on giving.

Which is the end of this story. There are other stories, about her donning the blue robes for good, and then there was this thing with an alternate dimension because their Corrupted Future was trying to spread, and those two worlds… but I'm putting a pin in those. Not even you could handle most of them, anyway, much less my hapless Ninja friend. Maybe someday, you'll be ready.

And not just for the stories.

Just promise me, when it's your turn… don't be so oblivious you can't figure out the scroll is a map. I mean, seriously, who doesn't open a scroll when carrying it for days on end? Some people are just born clueless. Don't be those people.

Be like my Monk. Flawless. Yeah, do that.

THE END

[honestlydarkprincess]

[wyverndreamers]

my son has lost an eye, good faith cannot make him whole.

[halsteadlover]

𝐔𝐧𝐬𝐩𝐨𝐤𝐞𝐧 𝐅𝐞𝐞𝐥𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬

*Pics not mine credits to the owner*

• Pairing: Jay Halstead x Fem!Reader.

• Requested by @dandelionfairyyy: Where Jay and reader accidentally hook up, but happen to need to work together so he tries to talk with her about what happened, but she just wants to avoid and forget it. That turns out into a fight, until it bursts out of her like “I am terrified you’ll say it was a one time thing!” With lots of fluff in the end?

• Warnings: curse words, sex (there are just few scenes in the flashback but they are descriptive so READ ONLY IF YOU’RE 18+) and I don’t know what else honestly let me know if I missed any lol

• Word count: 3995.

• A/N: I don’t know what to think about this one to be fair 😭 I hope you’ll like it please give em your feedback if you want! I’m trying to get back to writing so I hope to post as many fics as possible. Love you all ❤️

The sun’s rays hit your eyes through the window’s cracks, making you blink several times.

You looked around.

The unfamiliar ceiling made your senses go on high alert, momentarily disoriented and confused about where you were. You sat up in bed, a single sheet covering your naked body and that was enough to bring back all the memories of last night like a raging river.

You froze, afraid to make any kind of movement or even to turn your gaze to the person lying on that bed next to you. But you didn’t need to see that figure lying with his back to you, also naked.

How the hell did that happen?

How did you end up in bed with Jay Halstead?

Memories after memories of the previous night continued to play over and over in your mind. It was a mess, a complete mess but it was the most beautiful night of your life.

You tried not to cry.

How could you go on after this? How could you work with him and pretend like nothing happened? Pretend you weren’t madly in love with your coworker who you happened to have sex with?

You turned to Jay, noticing with relief he was still asleep, since you weren’t able to face him especially at that moment.

A smile appeared on your lips even though you couldn’t see him as you tried to suppress the desire to get closer to him, to caress his hair, leave kisses on his face, to hug him like you always wanted.

For a moment, a single moment, you let yourself wander in the illusion you two were a couple. That he’d soon wake up and pull you into his arms, preventing you from moving and going anywhere, that eventually you’d get out of bed and make breakfast together, you only wearing one of his shirts, and then getting ready and go to work together.

You let out a sigh and got out of bed, still sore and trying to be as quiet as possible. You quickly got dressed and you casted one last glance at the man who had made you lose your mind so much before leaving, not knowing if you’d ever be able to have this sight again.

That night had changed everything.

You didn’t know how you’d manage to keep your feelings at bay from now on, especially since you two worked together and you couldn’t avoid him forever.

You always had feelings for Jay, ever since you had joined the team. You had established a deep relationship from the beginning and, given the nature of your work, you found yourselves working together very often and very close. This had led you to often confiding in each other, spending time together, to establish a friendship that inevitably on your part had transformed into something else.

You never had the courage to confess your love, not wanting to risk losing your beautiful friendship. It was important to you, he was one of the most important people of your life, so you did nothing but look at him from afar and imagine a future with him that would never happen.

You immediately dove into work as soon as you arrived at the Unit, trying to keep your mind occupied and not think about Jay and the amazing night you had.

“I want you so fucking much,” he whispered as his lips captured yours in a breathtaking kiss. His arms wrapped around your hips, pulling you as close to his body as possible while your hands were in his hair.

His tongue explored every inch of your mouth as your lips moved in sync, as if this was always meant to be. He pushed you against the wall as his hands roamed every inch of your body he could reach, hungry, longing to touch your skin.

“Oh my god Jay please…” you sighed with pleasure when his lips moved to your neck, making you arch your back as he started sucking and nibbling on a particular spot that was making you lose your mind.

“Yeah baby, I can’t wait to hear you scream for me…”

“Y/n!”.

Kim’s voice brought you back to reality, making you wake up from the memories of the previous night that were haunting your mind.

How could you move on from that? How could you work when everything reminded you of him?

“Huh? What?”.

“I asked you if you wanted coffee?” Kim asked again with an amused tone. “What has you so lost in your thoughts today?”

If only you knew, Kim.

You tried to keep your expression as neutral as possible, not wanting to give away any clues as to what had happened. The last thing you needed was for the rest of the team to find out you and Jay had sex, since they already didn’t give you a break.

“You two should be together, I don’t know what you’re waiting for.”

“You look so cute together such a beautiful couple!”

“How can you say there’s nothing between you and Jay? Have you seen the way that man looks at you? Or the way you look at him? C’mon.”

And this happened almost everyday. Single. Day. And imagine being in love with your coworker and hearing your other coworkers saying this. Let’s just say it wasn’t helpful at all.

You nodded, smiling. “Thanks.”

You got up and went to the break room with her, where you chatted for a bit waiting for the rest of the team to arrive.

When Jay arrived at the Intelligence, a look of disappointment crossed his features as he noticed your jacket hanging on your chair, meaning you were already there.

He couldn’t help but be disappointed and confused, not expecting to not find you the morning after you had sex. He couldn’t suppress the feeling of anxiety that gripped his stomach, having no idea how you’d react and what to expect.

Were you going to pretend nothing happened? Or tell him not to talk to you ever again?

The thought immediately broke his heart and made his insides tighten even more. He didn’t deny what had happened, it had been nothing short of the best night of his life.

He went to the break room, ignoring the way his heart skipped a beat as he saw you sipping your coffee and talking to Kim in the meantime. The air suddenly became heavier, almost suffocating as you both pretended the other didn’t exist if it wasn’t for the initial glance you had thrown at each other.

A tight feeling in your stomach made you almost drop the cup from your hands when your eyes fell on him. He was as beautiful as the sun, dressed all in black with a sweater that fit him perfectly and showed off his muscles and a pair of black jeans that fit perfectly around his hips and along his slender legs. Once again, the memory of all the moments spent with him the night before invaded your mind.

Kim was the first to speak to him. “Good morning Jay. There’s some coffee left if you want.”

You used every fiber of your body to divert your attention from him, taking a sip of coffee as you felt your cheeks heat up and get redder with every second that passed.

You were nervous.

You didn’t know how to act and you hated it, you hated not knowing what to do especially with Jay, with one of the closest people to you, the person you were secretly in love with.

But you were just afraid that after sex he’d end it, you were afraid of losing him and your friendship. Because as much as it hurt to just look at him from afar, you would’ve preferred a life of just friendship than not having him in your life at all.

“Oh yeah thanks, I need it after last night,” he replied in a calm tone and hid a smirk when he saw you cough as you choked on your coffee.

Asshole.

Kim chuckled, pouring some coffee into a clean cup and then handing it to Jay, who continued to look at you sideways waiting to get your attention.

“What happened last night?” she asked curiously.

Jay shrugged. “I just didn’t get much sleep,” he replied, skipping over the part where you’d spent most of the night fucking.

“I’m going to finish the case report from yesterday,” you said before putting your cup down and walking out of the break room, suddenly feeling suffocated by Jay’s presence. You knew Kim immediately understood something happened, you blatantly gave it away but you didn’t care, you just wanted to get away.

Your eyes met Jay’s for a second, just a fraction of a second, but it was enough to send shivers down your spine and make your stomach twist in a knot.

You let out a sigh and headed towards the bathroom in an attempt to calm yourself down.

As you placed your hands on the sink, you took a few deep breaths. You hadn’t even spoken to him and he’d left you in a whirlwind of emotions you didn’t know which one to listen to first.

The previous night kept replay in your mind over and over again, and you couldn’t help but think how much everything had changed in the span of not even 24 hours.

You couldn’t look at him like he meant nothing, you couldn’t pretend you weren’t crazy in love with him, that just seeing him didn’t make your knees weak and heart race.

You were sure of your feelings but you weren’t sure of his. What did he think? How did he feel?

You didn’t have a chance to talk and it was killing you. Not knowing. The truth, though, was that you were terrified of talking to him. You knew you had to but the possibility of hearing he didn’t feel anything for you besides physical attraction and what had happened between you was only sex, paralyzed you.

You rinsed your face with some cold water before drying yourself with a paper towel, throwing it in the trash. Your breath caught in your throat when you exited the bathroom and your eyes met those green ones you were so obsessed about.

He was looking at you so intensely as if he wanted to read your mind and soul.

“Why are you avoiding me Y/n?” His voice was a mix of amusement and resentment and your stomach dropped at least ten stories.

You looked down at your shoes for a moment before looking at him again. “I’m not, why should I?”

“Oh, I don’t know…” he began, taking a step toward you. You took one back in return. “Maybe because you ran away before I woke up or the fact you haven’t even looked at me since I got here. You didn’t even say good morning.”

“I’m sorry Jay, I’m just busy and Voight will have my head if I don’t finish those case reports in time.”

He took another step forward and you took another step back, until your back hit the wall and there was no way you could run away.

“I don’t give a fuck about those reports,” he spoke and despite his low voice his words ran through your body like a knife. And the way his scent hit you fully didn’t help either.

God, I want him so much.

Jay was so close to you, you had to slowly tilt your head back to look at him. Anyone passing by would’ve seen you but it didn’t seem to matter to him, his attention focused solely on you as his eyes scanned every inch of your face.

Your chest was rising and falling rapidly, you tried to control your breathing but it was no use, Jay’s presence was too much for you to even form a coherent thought.

“Jay, someone can see us.”

“Why did you leave?” He pressed on, completely ignoring your words. His gaze kept roaming over your face, occasionally lingering on your lips, and it was enough to make your knees weak.

“Why do you care?”

“Excuse me?” He furrowed his brows, looking at you as if you had said something blasphemous. “Why do I care? Are you serious? You’re the one avoiding me and you have the courage to ask me why do I care?”.

“Listen…” you took a deep breath and placed your hands on his chest to push him away, trying to ignore the fact that less than twenty-four hours ago your hands were on his bare chest as you rode him on his bed.

His hands palmed your breasts, squeezing them between, his fingers pinching your nipples as you kept riding his dick, letting him penetrate you so deeply, you could almost feel him in your stomach.

“Fuck you’re so beautiful, you drive me crazy,” he panted, his expression twisted with pleasure as he looked at you with such intensity it almost made you falter. Your hands were resting on his chest as they helped you gain leverage, your nails pressed hard into his perfect skin.

“Oh my God yes like that… You’re gonna make me come so hard Jay.”

He moved his hands down from your breasts to your ass, squeezing and slapping it so hard the force made you lean forward. His hips moved with yours and his mouth took over yours, in a kiss that left you completely breathless.

The thought alone made you blush and you prayed he wouldn’t notice but from the way he was smirking, you knew he caught you.

You immediately removed your hands, as if you were burned. “We have a job to do okay? We’ll talk later.” You continued before walking away and leaving him standing there, without giving him a chance to reply.

You knew you were being immature. A grown-up would’ve faced it, damn it everyone has sex, but you weren’t ready to hear Jay say it had been a mistake, that last night would never happen again.

The whole day went like this, you looking for any excuse to avoid Jay and him trying to push you at every possible moment. Luckily, a case had come up so you managed to keep yourself busy for most of the day and, above all, stayed away from him.

Despite this, however, he was always there. His eyes were always on you, you felt them whenever you were, trying to read inside you, you felt them on you every time you moved. His presence—even though he was far away from you—was overwhelming, filling every single space and inch of your mind.

You thought you had managed to avoid him for the day but when—shortly after you got home—you heard your doorbell ring, you immediately realized you’d claimed victory too soon.

Before you even looked through your peephole, you knew it was Jay and a pang gripped your stomach when you saw him through the peephole, still in his work clothes exactly like you, handsome and breathtaking as always.

You sighed deeply, knowing it’d be no use avoiding the inevitable. You had to be an adult and deal with what was coming your way.

You opened the door, trying to ignore the pounding of your heart that was so loud you could almost feel it leaping out of your chest. Jay’s eyes traveled down your body before landing on yours.

“Are you done avoiding me like the plague?” he asked sarcastically but with a less than happy expression.

“I wasn’t avoiding you,” you lied through your teeth and he snorted loudly before rolling his eyes and making his way into your house, not even waiting for your invitation.

I guess we really need to talk and he’s not leaving until we do.

“Y/n I’m getting tired of this game,” he snapped, the neutrality of his features now gone, giving way to anger. “You want to tell me what the hell is wrong with you?”

You sighed and closed the door behind you before walking towards the living room, him following you. “I’m sorry… It’s just…” You took a deep breath again, trying to gather all your thoughts.

“It’s just what? You regret it? You could’ve said that instead of acting like a child and avoiding me!” His voice slightly rose, his breathing quickening. “I’ve lost my mind all day trying to find an answer for your behavior! I—I thought we had a good time…”

“I did have a great time Jay oh my god… And of course I don’t regret it! How could I?! I just needed time to think!”

“Think about what? For fuck’s sake Y/n it’s me! I’m not a stranger you know you can talk to me about everything!”.

“I didn’t mean to leave you hanging, damn it!” You raised your voice too. “I was scared!”

“Speak up then! For fuck’s sake stop saying these half-assed sentences, you’re driving me crazy!” He went completely nuts, hands waving in the air as he let out all the frustration he was holding in. “Scared of what?! What the hell were you thinking about?!”

“Scared you’d tell me it was just a one time thing!”

Jay’s expression quickly changed to one of confusion and then pure shock.

“I didn’t want to face you because I was afraid it meant nothing to you… Shit, Jay… I wasn’t ready to hear you say it was just sex or… Or a mistake.”

At that point you were a raging river, uncontrollable. You couldn’t control your thoughts and the flow of words that were coming out of your mouth. “Because it wasn’t just sex for me. Fuck, I’m in love with you Jay, I’ve been for years, but I… I don’t want to get hurt and I know that would’ve happened if we had talked, that’s why I was avoiding you. I’m so sorry for how I acted but I… I’m just scared shitless of losing you and I’m not ready for—”

You suddenly stopped talking when he grabbed your face and pressed his lips to yours.

You froze for a moment, in disbelief of what was happening. You would’ve expected anything, shit you were already preparing yourself for the humiliation you’d feel hearing him say he didn’t feel the same for you, but this… This was beyond your imagination.

It was everything you hoped for, everything you desired.

You wrapped your arms around his chest, pressing your fingers into his back in an attempt to pull him closer. Your lips moved spontaneously against his, mimicking the same hunger, longing and frustration. It was messy, desperate, a kiss full of the words and unspoken feelings.

He slightly groaned against your mouth, as if he had been waiting for this moment all his life, deepening the kiss more and more. His slightly trembling fingers continued to cup your face, tilting your head for a better angle. There were no words to describe what you felt in that moment—that moment with him. Him, who tasted like coffee, like something warm and addictive, like the flavor that made you lose your mind and forget all sense of reason.

It was intoxicating. Him, the way he touched you, the way he kissed you, with so much passion and voracity as if he wanted to express what he had not been able to say with words.

When you finally pulled away, Jay rested his forehead on yours, close enough to brush your lips with his again. “Please don’t cry baby,” he whispered, pulling away from you just enough to wipe your tears with his thumbs. You were so emotional you hadn’t even realized it. “I can’t stand it, I don’t want to see you like this, especially because there’s no reason to.” He pressed another kiss to your lips, resting his forehead on yours again. “It wasn’t a mistake, I never thought that for a second,” he continued as his breath tickled your lips. “And it sure as hell wasn’t just a one time thing.”

You slightly pulled your head back, just enough to look into his eyes and you noticed the way his green irises almost obscured by his dilated pupils.

God, he was so breathtaking.

Your heart tightened in your chest. “But… But you—” you stammered like a complete idiot. “You never said anything.”

“Do I have to remind you you were the one avoiding me?” he replied sarcastically. “But to answer your unspoken question, I didn’t do it before because I was scared too. I had no idea how you felt and I was terrified of losing you. You mean everything to me, more than you realize. And the thought of messing this up, of ruining us—” He shook his head, letting out a small, breathless laugh. “I couldn’t risk it. I couldn’t risk you. But if I had known—if I had even guessed you felt the same way—I never would’ve wasted so much time baby.”

You opened your mouth to talk but nothing came out. Your brain was short circuiting, you weren’t able to form a single coherent thought.

Was this really happening? Or was it just a hallucination? It had to be the latter, you must’ve been hit your head.

He chuckled at your reaction before pressing a kiss to your forehead, lingering a few seconds longer than necessary, before kissing your nose. “You ruined me,” he whispered before kissing your lips again. He kissed you more slowly this time, with a gentleness that almost made your legs give out.

He kissed you as if it was his first breath of air after so much time underwater, as if you were his lifeline. He held you as if he was truly afraid you’d walk away, his lips moving against yours in a sensual dance that neither of you wanted to end.

His fingers tangled in your hair—while his other hand gripped your jaw—and he pulled your head slightly, tilting it just right and you almost fainted. God, the way that man made you lose your mind, how crazy he drove you, it was something you’ve never experienced in your life.

When you pulled away, you were both breathless, your lips still tingling and longing for his. He looked at you for a moment, with so much intensity and so much adoration you would’ve paid an organ to always see that look in his eyes.

“God…” he whispered as his fingers caressed your face. “I love you.”

Your heart stopped beating for a moment.

You looked up at him with wide eyes, completely in shock. “Huh? What?”

He laughed, and he was so unbelievably and unfairly beautiful it hurt. His thumb continued to caress the side of your jaw, firm but gentle at the same time. “I love you, I’m in love with you. Quite for a while now.”

Something inside you bursts—a relief so overwhelming you could cry. Instead, you laughed—bright, breathless, disbelieving. “I—You… Holy shit… You love me? You?” You pointed your finger at his chest. “Love me?”

“Yeah, sweetheart,” he chuckled, grinning from ear to ear. “I love you. And, man, it’s such a relief to finally say it.”

You barely gave him time to breathe before you threw yourself at him, wrapping your arms around his neck and kissing him again, like your life depended on it. He stumbled back with a startled laugh but caught you easily, holding you tight against him as if he’d never meant to let you go.

When you broke apart, you pressed your forehead to his, making him smile so softly it made your chest ache.

“So,” he murmured, brushing his nose against yours, “Can we finally stop this avoiding crap? We have a lot of time to make up for.”

You giggled, eyes shining from tears as you nodded your head. “Yeah. Yeah, we do.”

Jay smiled, then kissed you again and again—slow, sweet, like you had all the time in the world.

And for once, you let yourself believe in happy endings.

General tag list: @hngbrooks, @alexxavicry, @halstead-severide-fan, @mrspeacem1nusone, @allivs, @omniaimy, @cursedashes, @kmc1989, @firetruckstuckley, @23victoria, @buckybarnessweetheart, @fanaticlove16, @ajordan2020, @multi-fandom-lover7667, @emryb, @luftmenzch, @anamiad00msday

Jay Halstead tag list: @nosy09, @Cbaby, @luvreading67, @danielmarie, @Saiyuo12, @annahargrove, @nachodaze, @waywardhunter95, @fighterkimburgess, @ephemeral3, @mads-weasley, @itskellysev, @Lovemedlife, @atarmychick007, @amazedbyitall, @glodessa, @xeleni-dutchnurse, @ossypooh, @itriedtoexplain, @randomwriter1021, @averyhotchner, @ellevandeberg, @junevoidzombie, @nocturnalherb16, @croissantthief, @jayhalsteadsbadge, @youngblood199456, @burgstead, @bebataylor84, @ares-kelani-wayne, @lxna-mikaelsxn, @sande5098, @smoothdogsgirl, @withakindheartx, @Jess2013, @maddu-oliveira, @lovemesomepietro, @onechicagodrawings, @Jinxfan18, @xeleni-nurse, @Firerusher, @ready-hit-it, @Rainroo2, @smutl0ver, @kuroe-san, @caroldanverwife, @dreamss-wavess, @halsteadloversworld, @laaaauuraaaaa, @itserickalove, @slytherlight, @notanordinaryprincess95, @goingwiththewind, @mel0809, @cadyfanninger, @acewritesfics, @wickedlovely121, @iloveest, @instantpizzacat, @novabckly, @thatcrimeshowchick, @wnbweasley, @anaferreira-4

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[gennyrthewriter]

You should like… totally read my first novel! The sequel is COMPLETE after TWO YEARS and is NOW OUT TOO!

Click here for a link to the Amazon page for book 1

Click here for a link to the Amazon page for book 2

If you like colonial-era inspired low fantasy with political intrigue, moral ambiguity, and ideological struggle, give it a chance!

(There’s a more traditional plot summary on the Amazon page if this meme-y and buzzword filled ad copy isn’t satisfying enough for you literary types. I get it. I was an insufferable English major too.)

[horsemotifs]

bill hader writing barry: the dialogue has to sound real. if you can't imagine a real person saying this, its out

jesse armstrong & succession writers: youre like a grilled cheese with a sucked dick

[spenglernot]

STORIES TELLING: NED LOWE AND THE DEATH OF POOR REPRESENTATION IN OUR FLAG MEANS DEATH

In history, Ned Lowe was one of the most sadistic and violent pirates in the early 18th century, so he’s an obvious choice for a villain for season 2, episode 6 – Calypso’s Birthday.  What is interesting is what the OFMD writers chose to do with him.

Lowe announces himself to the crew of the Revenge with great fanfare (cannon ball attack) and gets right to the point.

Ed is thoroughly unimpressed.

Cut to Ed and Stede tied up while Ned attempts to set the mood so he can monologue about why he wants to kill Ed.

Ed knows what’s coming. He is going to suffer but he still can’t be arsed to meet Ned with anything but vaguely bored dismissiveness (and Stede is happy to play along).

Up on the deck, Ned prepares the crew for his big, dramatic moment of symphonic torture.

Note that the Revenge crew is tied down, braced by vices and generally unable to protect themselves from imminent torture and possible death, but their spirits are up. They don’t seem terribly fussed.

Then Stede uses his people positive management style to happily orchestrate a worker uprising in Ned’s crew.

Ned’s crew responds instantly; severing their allegiance to Lowe and telling him off.

The crew sails away and talks profit sharing while Ned dully threatens to hunt them down.

Ned is now a prisoner of the Revenge crew and seems entirely disinterested in his own survival.

And Ned sinks to the depths, without struggling at all.

There is a lot going on in this episode: pay and labor equity direct action, gay love engagement bliss, kink humor, Stede being a hero and saving his crew by playing to his strengths, then having to decide whether to kill in cold blood and feel the consequences of that choice. Ed having one more reason to be done with piracy (while being so impressed with and fond of Stede), and then watching his man make a fraught choice and having to deal with the fallout from that. (And, damn, I haven’t even mentioned the passionate sex bit.) Anyway, back to the point.

Now for the the meta part

The Ned Lowe sequences are perfectly in keeping with OFMD’s signature blend of madcap violence, humor, and big emotional gut punches. But something about Ned Lowe just strikes me as off for this show.

Ned is seriously threatening the crews’ lives, so why don’t they take him seriously?

Why does Ned have such a boring, throwaway backstory?

Why is Ned so nonchalant about his own death; like it’s a foregone conclusion?

Why does Ned have a silver violin and silver spurs on his slip-on dress shoes?

Why is Ned sartorially monochromatic?

And then I realized who Ned reminds me of.

This guy,

Earnst Stavro Blofeld in the James Bond film Diamonds are Forever (1971)

And this guy,

Scar in Disney's The Lion King (1994).

And this guy,

Xerxes, 300 (2006).

And it sure seems like Ned Lowe isn’t just an episodic villain. He is an archetype of the one-dimensional, stereotypical queer-coded villain that has been endemic in film and television throughout history. The OFMD writers have a lot to say about what to do with this kind of character:

Don’t respect him.

Feel free to openly mock him.

Don’t let him take your joy, even though he will hurt you.

He won’t disappear on his own. You have to throw something at him (take action) to make him go away.

Once he’s in the water, he’s content to drown. He’s not into what he’s doing any more than you are.

Oh and, just to be clear,

The LGBTQIA+ community has a very long history of turning shit media into better stories. So, hey, big media, prepare to have your crap characters wrecked (improved).

Now, back to our transformative pirate show with rich, complex queer characters and a multi-layered plot that surprises me every week and makes me feel big feelings - most of all, joy.

Final thought: I do wonder if Ned Lowe is monochromatically silver as a tribute to/poke at, Hollywood and the silver screen.

This meta was written before OFMD season 2 has fully aired. No idea what’s going to happen in the finale (and I’ve generally fled social media to avoid spoilers). I’ll be back, looking at everyone’s fascinating posts after episode 8 airs.

[sapphic-squid]

THE RETURN OF CANONICALLY HORNY JESS MCKENNA

[berberriescorner]

Silent Nights, Steady Hearts🎄♥️

Characters: Husband!Jay Halstead x Black!Reader.

Word Count: 500+.

"A Season of Love Christmas Series 🎄♥️"

The chill of Christmas morning seeped through the windows, the faint glow of dawn casting soft shadows across the bedroom. You stirred slightly, the warmth of the blankets tempting you to burrow deeper into them.

But then you felt it—the familiar press of Jay’s lips against your forehead. It was gentle, unhurried like he had all the time in the world to wake you.

“Merry Christmas,” he murmured, his voice still rough from sleep.

“Mmm,” you hummed in reply, cracking one eye open to see his boyish smile. He was already dressed, wearing his favorite green henley that you loved, paired with that flannel he always claimed was “just practical.” But it wasn’t his clothes that caught your attention. It was the way he was holding a steaming mug of coffee in one hand and a small, carefully wrapped gift in the other.

“What’s this?” you asked, propping yourself up on one elbow, curiosity mixing with the comfort of the moment.

“Coffee, first,” he said with a grin, handing you the mug. “Figured you’d need it to handle what’s coming next.”

You sipped, savoring the familiar taste. “What’s coming next?”

“Open this,” he said, placing the small gift in your lap before sitting down on the edge of the bed, his gaze steady but tinged with nervous anticipation.

Carefully, you peeled back the paper, revealing a velvet box. You glanced up at him, your heart skipping a beat at the intensity in his expression.

“Jay…”

“Just open it,” he said softly, his hands clasped together as he leaned slightly forward.

Inside was a delicate silver necklace, the pendant shaped like a compass.

“It’s beautiful,” you whispered, tracing the intricate design with your fingertips.

Jay cleared his throat, his voice low but steady. “I know it’s simple, but… it felt right. A compass—it always points you in the right direction, right? And for me…” He paused, rubbing the back of his neck before continuing. “You’ve been that for me. My constant. My home. No matter how lost I get, you always bring me back.”

Your breath hitched, and you felt a lump rise in your throat. “Jay…”

He leaned in, brushing a strand of hair behind your ear. “I know my job’s not easy on our relationship. I know I’m not always easy. But you’re everything to me, and I need you to know that. Not just today, but every day.”

You reached out, wrapping your arms around his neck and pulling him into a tight hug. “You’re my home too, Jay,” you whispered, your voice thick with emotion.

He held you close, his hand sliding up your back, grounding you both in the moment. When he finally pulled away, he took the necklace from the box and fastened it around your neck, his fingers brushing against your skin.

“Perfect,” he said, a soft smile playing on his lips as he admired how it looked on you.

You leaned in, pressing your forehead to his. “Merry Christmas, baby.”

“Merry Christmas,” he replied, his voice a quiet promise, steady and unwavering—just like him.

Comments and reblogs are greatly appreciated, my babies! MERRY CHRISTMAS 🎄♥️!!

Tagging a few lovelies:

@darqchilddaydreamz @sunshine-flower @astoldbychae

@1andonlytashae @prettyyybrownroundd @starrynite7114

@lil-black-girl @blackterrae @onherereading

[obliviouskara]

What do you mean Words: 1,434,163?!?! 32 chapters????? Ffs just kill me already but at the same time *grabby hands*

[thetenthsunrise]

the horizon in your eye -- character art/introductions

An intro to (most of) Jango's children in my AU, the horizon in your eye. Most of this art is a over year old, so bear with me, please. And yes, I know that I'm missing Boba and Omega, but I just never got around to them, lol.

All under the cut!

Bacara || The Silence

song: Wish You Were Here, Pink Floyd

As Jango Fett’s eldest son, the often quiet Bacara serves as a lynchpin for his family. His truest loyalty is to his family, no matter the circumstances…or the danger of that loyalty. 

Kote || The Glory

song: In the Aeroplane Over the Sea, Neutral Milk Hotel

Kote–known to some as Cody–finds himself grappling with destiny and his own will as legends make themselves known. 

Fox || The Pawn

song: What I’ve Done, Linkin Park

Calculated and proud, Fox is forced into the position of Marshal Commander of The Coruscant Guard. There, he uncovers the heart of the war and struggles with his own role. 

Wolffe || The Anger

song: The Black Dog, Taylor Swift

Wolffe is Jango’s fourth son and the one who is said to have inherited the worst of his father’s qualities. Despite his brashness, however, Wolffe has never backed down from any fight he deems worthy. 

Ponds || The Regret song: No Complaints, Noah Kahan

Despite being the right hand man to one of the most famous Jedi, Ponds often allows himself to slip into the background, content to be a watcher. But it is him who creates the first cracks in their family, as enemies to their throne seek to gain an advantage. 

Bly || The Lover

song: This Must Be the Place (Naïve Melody), The Lumineers

Bly is a man driven by desire and love. When duty and this love interact, he finds himself at an impasse, torn between his role as a Commander and his status as a brother and a lover. 

Rex || The Eyes

song: Fallen Fruit, Lorde

Bearing the jaig eyes, Rex is known for his courage and his unrelenting spirit. However, as the war drags on, he finds himself facing loss after loss and the weight of being both a brother and a commanding officer. 

Kix || The Hands

song: ilomilo, Billie Eilish

Kix is a healer at heart, and has been put into the Medic Corps in order to make full use of his skills. Calm, level-headed, and distinctly rational, Kix serves as a foundation within the ranks of the 501st. 

Jesse || The Loyal

song: Dog Days Are Over, Florence + The Machine

Jesse is a man who has never quite forget the original purpose he was bred for. He joins the fight out of loyalty to not only his home, but out of a desire to fulfil his purpose and find something else to fight for. 

Fives || The Revelation

song: 42, Coldplay

Fives is not a man who can easily be told no. Every loss he suffers only serves to drive the young man further, giving him purpose and reason…but endangering him all the same. 

Echo || The Lost

song: Last Words of a Shooting Star, Mitski

Echo, contrary to the seemingly endless movement of his twin, is a man caught in a stasis of his own making. Having never forgotten what happened to Kamino, Echo seeks to move forward and make a new life for himself. 

Dogma || The Fire

song: Don’t Ask, Just Let Me Know

Dogma is named for his own rigidity and adherence to the rules, no matter the cost. However, he still seeks to create an identity for himself, one removed from both his father and Kamino. 

Tup || The Tears

song: Funeral, Phoebe Bridgers

As Jango Fett’s third youngest, Tup has often found himself struggling with the passage of time. When the fight turns against him though, it is he who his family rallies around. 

anyways. thats that. sorry this is a mile long LMAOOOO

[forkanna]

"Ahhh… much better."

Veronica Lodge had never known a shopping spree to fail to lift her spirits. The feeling of her arms laden down with a dozen or more shopping bags full of extravagant purchases was the most welcome ache in the world - even beyond a good workout, or twisting in a passenger seat to kiss some boy or other. She once again felt like everything would be fine, like all was right with the world.

What was the point in dwelling on her past at Pembrooke? She could have smacked both Cheryl and Tomoko across their smug faces for dredging up all that unnecessary baggage. But now that she had an ounce of perspective back, she found herself determined not to let them control her narrative. She was desperate to keep her past in the past, but she didn't feel nearly as powerless to do so as she did before.

"Oh hey, gorgeous. You get even more frames to put around that hot, work of art body of yours?"

Veronica rolled her eyes at the pathetic line. "And here I was actually starting to feel pretty good about my day. Thanks for ruining it, Mantle."

Reggie chuckled as he leaned one hip against the hood of her Benz, folding his arms over his barrel chest. He was every bit as handsome as he purported himself to be; the problem was that he was his own biggest fan. It got irritating immediately and only grew more so the more often he insisted everyone praise him for his looks.

Right about now, she would take the attention. It would definitely be a distraction. 

"You say that like I'm not the best thing to happen to your day so far, gorgeous. Anyway, where's Freckles or Blondie? I normally don't see you without one or the other."

"They're both at practice for the football game. Why aren't you there? Aren't you part of the team?"

Reggie's laugh was the slightest bit chagrined. "Well, see… I got benched for a week for making a pass at Midge. I might have complimented the color of her underwear when she was on top of the pyramid."

"Oh, and that wasn't your fault, somehow?"

"Hey, it was a compliment! Can't a guy make an observation? They were pink with purple teddy bears - not the kind she normally has on!"

"And you somehow can't see that you knowing what type she normally has on is an issue?" He just shrugged, and she laughed and rolled her eyes. "Typical. I would bother telling you off, but I'm pretty sure Moose will take care of that for me."

That finally rattled him enough to run his hand through his black hair, but he tried to laugh it off. "I'm not scared of that big dumb ox. Anyway, what are you up to right now?"

"Nothing now. Just going to head home and put all my acquisitions away. Why?"

"Let me treat you to dinner. Nothing fancy, not a date," he headed her off as she squinted at him. "But not Pop's again, either. You want to hit up Tandoori House?"

The suggestion surprised Veronica. Indian food definitely sounded like a nice change of pace, and she had really thought Reggie would pull out all the stops and take her to some expensive French restaurant purely to impress her. He wasn't always a cad, apparently. 

"Hmm… you know what? Why not?" Before he could jump up and down with glee, she held up her index finger. "Separate cars, no kissing, no getting handsy under the table. Got it?"

"Roger, Roger. What about footsy?" When she just scowled, he held up both hands in surrender. "No footsy, either. Sheesh."

  ~ o ~

  Within minutes, they were both parking in adjoining spots at Tandoori House. Even just getting out of the car flooded Veronica's lungs with inviting scents of curry and spice, and she felt her mouth watering already.

In no time, they were seated and browsing the menu. Veronica had been there several times before, but not often enough to have the menu memorized; she was a lot more used to having Gaston prepare her whatever she wished in the comfort of her own home, up to and including Indian food - although the Patels definitely had him beat in that department.

"Oh, hey guys," their waitress said with a bright smile. 

"Hey, Tina," Reggie said as he set his menu down and clapped his hands before rubbing them together. "What looks good today? Hook us up."

"Can't go wrong with the tikka masala. Naan is hot and fresh, too. What are you feeling?"

"Sounds good, gorgeous," he flattered their server. Veronica was pretty sure he never actually hit on Tina Patel at school, but given their forced conversation because she was waiting on them in her parents' restaurant, it was inevitable.

"I'll have the palak paneer," Veronica said as she side-eyed Reggie. "And some tandoori chicken, and naan bread - oh, and can I get two orders of butter chicken to go? For when I'm heading home."

"Gotcha," Tina said, hurrying to scribble everything down. "I'll have them put those in after I bring your food, so it's nice and hot when you leave. Anything else? Drinks?"

"Coffee."

"Western, or the good stuff?" 

"What's the good stuff?" Reggie asked.

"Oooh, you guys have to try it," Tina said with a huge, excited grin. "A little milk and sugar and chicory, and only the best arabica beans, ground fresh daily. We let it percolate, mix it with the milk and sugar… filter kaapi is stronger, but you'll ascend, seriously."

"Well, I'll try it," Veronica said with a shrug. Reggie nodded as well.

"Cool." She lowered her voice to add, "I'm glad, since we have to sell what we grind and don't use at a discount. But seriously, it's so good."

"Okay, okay, we're convinced," Reggie laughed. "Let me get it nice and hot, Tina."

While Veronica was rolling her eyes again, Tina grinned and cocked a finger gun at him. "You got it!" Then she was off. And he was obviously checking out her figure, even beneath her traditional saree. 

"Wow, I am out with an actual pig."

"What?" he said defensively, even though he was still smiling. "I'm here for a good time - it's not like we're married or anything. Lighten up. What's got stuck in your craw lately?"

Her lip curled as she stared at him across the table. "You haven't been paying attention, have you?"

By the time their orders arrived, Veronica was still ranting about Cheryl Blossom. And continued to do so as they make their way through the food and coffee - which was as incredible as advertised. They were almost finished by the time she finally came to a stop, running out of tidbits to divulge.

"…and I guess it just boils down to the fact that Betty and I don't need the competition. That's all."

"That's all, huh?" Reggie grumbled, still propping up his head as he leaned on one elbow. He had been in that position for the past five minutes.

"Uhhh… yes, that is all. Why are you being so blasé? Don't you see what a serious threat she poses to Riverdale High's fragile social ecosystem? She's going to have everybody jumping around, figuring out how we all fit together from now on!"

He shrugged his shoulders as he mopped up the last of his sauce with the last scrap of his naan. "Hey, as far as I'm concerned, this just means one more girl to pull Archie's focus away from you. Doesn't hurt me any."

Veronica flashed him a smarmy little smirk. "You say that as if you've ever been remotely serious about me."

"Moi?" he asked in a scandalized tone, pressing his hand to his chest. "Why, Veronica, I am shocked that you would besmirch my character in this fashion. Have I not sought out your feminine wiles with the utmost sincerity? Pray tell, when was I anything less than genuine?"

"About fifteen minutes ago, when you literally hit on Tina while I was sitting right here. Betty is the blonde one, not me; I have a long memory, and hold even longer grudges."

"Wow, okay, okay. Never pegged you for being this sensitive, Ronnie."

"I'm not sensitive," she protested hotly. "I'm… just… I don't have to justify myself to you. Bottom line is, the Blossoms have always been bad news - and I'm not going to trust this long lost daughter, or whoever the hell she is."

Reggie just let out a scoffing sound as Tina dropped off a plastic bag containing two aluminum pie tins, with posterboard circles covering the tops. "Fine, so you think she's the devil with a blue dress on. Or green, like she was wearing today. What are you gonna do about it? Run her out of town?"

"Hmm, no… that won't exactly work, I'm afraid. For top secret reasons." Veronica drummed her manicured fingernails on the table top thoughtfully, then suddenly snapped two of said fingers. "Aha!"

"AH!" Once he recovered from nearly falling out of his chair, Reggie demanded, "What's the matter with you?!"

"Nothing," the Lodge heir purred as she pressed her fingertips together, forming a steeple in front of her wicked grin. "Not anymore. I think I just need to go home and have a conversation with my father."

  ~ o ~

  Which was exactly what she did with herself next. Lodge Manor lay just outside of Riverdale proper, on a lush estate between rolling green hills. This was no tacky McMansion; it was one of the nicest homes upstate, with dozens of rooms of all purposes, an outdoor and indoor pool, hot tub, greenhouse, tennis court, and garage capable of holding six cars, plus a separate one for the limo. Veronica had been lucky enough to never want for anything.

Who said she was an ungrateful spoiled brat? She certainly appreciated what she had - she just was of the "if you've got it, flaunt it" camp. Hiram Lodge was a self-made man, a titan of industry and a stock wizard, and made sure his family never had to worry about their next meal. Or their next entire wardrobe, for that matter. 

After parking her Benz in the garage, she strutted up to the front door and handed off her bags to Smithers. All she said to him was, "Hey, do you know where Daddy is?"

Smithers didn't even miss a beat, as used to Veronica's behavior patterns as he was. "In the study, Miss Lodge. Shall I put your purchases away for you?"

"That won't be necessary; just leave them on the bed and I'll go through them myself later. Thanks." Then she waved at the butler before skipping off to the study.

The silver-haired tycoon was seated in his plush leather armchair, puffing away at his pipe and browsing the Wall Street Journal. Veronica couldn't count the number of times she had walked in on him looking exactly like this - though it probably numbered in the thousands. Her mother had gotten him to agree to stop smoking the pipe several times a day, but for now, he was still holding onto having this reflective time with his old habit at least once per day. Veronica wasn't about to judge, even though privately, she wished he would quit, as well.

"Hey, Daddykins," she sang out as she pranced over the floor to his side.

"What do you want, Veronica?" he asked without even looking up.

Trying not to be perturbed by him seeing through her would-be disarming tactic, she folded her arms over one corner of his chairback. "Awww, can't I just spend some time with the best Daddy in…" When he squinted up at her, she sighed. "Okay, okay, but you could have let me be loving for a moment."

"And you could be loving without an ulterior motive, hmm? Now, what does my princess want? Another Bentley? We agreed after the last one that it's for the best if-"

"We don't have to bring that up again," she laughed anxiously. "Ever. No, nothing like that; I bought a few things today but nothing crazy, and I don't need anything else. At the moment," she added as an afterthought.

"Then…?"

"Well… alright, so…" She wanted to phrase this delicately. "You know… I've worked very hard to make you and Mom proud of me over the past two years. I've really changed."

"Have you?" he murmured. When she frowned, he snorted and turned a page in his newspaper. "Alright, so you have; we've noticed. Aside from a few of your more egregious shopping sprees, your pattern of behavior has vastly improved. Do you think you deserve a prize?"

"Actually, it's more about protecting my reputation. So there's a new Blossom I've never heard of before…"

Veronica did her best to leave nothing out. By the time she had told her father as much as she could think to mention, carefully leaving out that it was the way Archie was head over heels for the other redhead that bothered her the most, she was sitting in the other chair next to him that her mother would normally have claimed.

"…and I still have no idea how I never heard about her once, the entire time I was growing up."

"Well, apparently, she grew up on the west coast," her father divulged now that his daughter had finally fallen silent. "Not that I know much about it; only that Clifford mentioned something about her after the last quarterly budget meeting. I suppose that's why you never encountered her until now."

Veronica shook her head, folding her arms over her chest as she crossed her legs and stared into the fire. It wasn't especially cold; her father just liked having a roaring fire going for the aesthetic. "Yeah, but why here? Why now? And is she his daughter, or a cousin? There's just so many questions…"

"And why don't you ask Cheryl these questions? Seems like the most direct route to get the knowledge you want."

"Because…" She sighed. "You know how bad things got with Blaze. I mean, I didn't really see it at the time, but he brought out all my worst instincts - turned me into a real bad girl. You don't want me to be a bad girl again, do you, Daddy?"

He shook his head with a rueful smile and a chuckle. "Darling, you don't have to resort to that kind of manipulation. I understand why you're concerned; you think this long lost Blossom will be just as much of a negative influence as that reckless boy was before they sent him overseas. But I highly doubt you'll fall into her trap, even if she were; you only have ever lost your head because of a boy, or because of your competitive… nature…"

They both stared at each other for a long moment. Veronica was trying very hard to look completely at ease, but she knew her heart was beating faster, and her foot was jiggling up and down from nerves.

"Oh no. Not that cretin."

"Daddy-"

"Not Archie Andrews again!" He wadded up his newspaper and hurled it into the fire. "Why can't you find another boy to annoy me with? Hmm? Why does it have to be that oafish klutz with hormonal ADHD?!"

"Hey! He's not oafish - and what's that last one supposed to mean?!"

"It means he can't stay focused on one girl long enough to get anywhere close to a meaningful courtship - before some other young thing comes along and distracts him, like a cat chasing a laser pointer!"

Veronica scowled. "He's not that bad, Daddy! And anyway, this is about my reputation - I don't want all my dirty laundry coming out in the wash, when I've worked very hard to keep my past in the past! I just want to finish my senior year and start college without any little snickers and assumptions following me around!"

"Well, you know what they say: 'you made your bed'…" But Mr. Lodge sighed and rolled his eyes when his daughter pouted even harder. "Alright, alright. I'll ask Clifford a few questions when next I see him - but I'm not doing any 'detective work' or anything unscrupulous."

"Thank you, Daddy," she sighed in relief. That had been more than she truly expected of him, since he was such a rigid disciplinarian sometimes. 

"Just don't be too shocked if your past catches up to you, after all. Sometimes good intentions aren't enough to erase history, you know."

"I know," Veronica glowed, mostly disregarding that last bit because she had already gotten what she wanted - and her mind was starting in on the next phases of her Cheryl Blossom Defense Plan. She hopped up and hugged him tightly, making him fight to catch his pipe lest he spill it all over the expensive rug. "Thank you so so so so much, Daddy!"

"Hmph," was all he responded as she dashed away. "Sometimes I feel more like a vending machine than your father."

But Veronica was already sprinting up the grand staircase toward her room. She had a lot of work to do, and it wasn't going to do itself.

[honestlydarkprincess]

Them: you realize you've already written this trope countless times...

Me:

[sarabethsilver]

It's so striking to me that Lorelai has no opinion about the fact Luke kicked Jess out because he prioritized work and independence over high school... since that is precisely what Lorelai did herself? She ALSO dropped out of high school right before reaching the finish line, despite being smart enough to graduate. She obviously managed to build an amazing life for herself anyway. She never once voices regret over dropping out. It was the right choice for her!

So the fact Luke judges Jess so harshly and kicks him out without hesitation over making the SAME CHOICE Lorelai made for herself? Yeah. If I were Lorelai, I'd have some opinions on that. It's weird that she doesn't. It's another example of Lorelai seeing similarities between herself and Jess... yet sincerely believing that he did not need or deserve the kind of loving support she so readily received as an 18yo dropout.

[halsteadlover]

𝐀𝐧 𝐔𝐧𝐞𝐱𝐩𝐞𝐜𝐭𝐞𝐝 𝐏𝐥𝐮𝐬 𝐎𝐧𝐞

*Pics not mine credits to the owner*

• Pairing: Jay Halstead x Fem!Reader.

• Requested by @hart-kinsella: Basically, the fan fic could be set at one of Jay's Intelligence colleagues' wedding and mc is one of the bride's closest friends; the bride wants to set her up with one hot cop (could also be one who works on patrol). It could either be that the 'chosen' guy is not Jay, but then mc and Jay naturally connect at the reception (maybe through her wanting to avoid the guy she's set up with) or Jay being the 'set up' guy from minute 1 and them just meeting there (with the usual embaressement that comes from friends insisting you should get together) and hitting it off immediately.

• Warnings: curse words/strong language, mention of alcohol consumption, lots of tension and physical contact, heavy making out, suggestive at the end.

• Word count: 8.8k

• A/N: PLEASE READ ONLY IF YOU’RE 18+ DUE TO SUGGESTIVE THEMES. The way I was so excited about this fic but I reread it and now I hate it why am I like this 😭 Let me know in the comments what do you think about this one, I love you all ❤️

“I don’t know if this is a good idea,” you said to Kim as you watched her sip the champagne from her glass, her huge ring shining against the lights of the room.

She was radiant, a smile plastered on her lips as wide as you had ever seen her in all the time you were friends. She was happy and your heart exploded with joy seeing her finally have her happy ending with Adam, especially after everything they’ve been through.

She looked beautiful in her white wedding dress and you couldn’t hide the tears of happiness you shed when you saw her walk down the aisle, a radiant smile on her lips. Adam looked at her with eyes so bright and full of love it made you wonder if there’d ever be someone who’d look at you like that, as if you were the only person who mattered, as if without you he couldn’t even breathe.

“Of course it’s a good idea! There’s nothing better than a blind date with a hot cop,” she finished sipping her champagne and set it down on the tray as a waiter walked by, thanking him immediately after. “You don’t trust me? Have I ever let you down on the men front?”

You didn’t respond, just looked at her with a raised eyebrow.

“Okay there might’ve been some unfortunate meetings but this won’t be the case. Please, please, please. I swear he’s a really cute and good guy!” She begged, putting on her cute puppy face that not even the devil could resist.

Little bitch.

You sighed and rolled your eyes and that was enough to make her clap her hands with joy. “Only because it’s your day.”

“You won’t regret it, I promise.”

The fact was you were already regretting it.

You had never been very good at blind dates, you hated not knowing who you were going to talk to and spend the evening with, you wanted to be able to decide first if you liked that person. What if you didn’t like him, or if he didn’t like you? It would’ve been very awkward.

Actually, it was. It was definitely awkward.

Kim had pointed out from afar a man who was talking to Adam—ignoring how the latter was watching Kim without ever taking his eyes off her even while talking to other people—and you took your time to observe him.

He was a tall man, from behind you noticed his ash blonde hair and a statuesque body that was embraced by a tuxedo. Without even saying anything, Kim grabbed your hand and dragged you towards them, ignoring your signs of protest.

You were so nervous and you hated it.

And it certainly didn’t help that Kim had made it her mission to pair you up with someone, since you were the only single girl in your group of friends.

But you were happy, you weren’t lonely, you were fine being alone and that was important, you didn’t need a man by your side to determine your happiness. You defined your own happiness.

“Hi babe,” Kim greeted her husband, who smiled before sliding his arm around her hips and kissing her. The two of them were so in love it was almost disgusting. “Sorry I was rude. Caleb, I wanted you to meet my friend.”

Your cheeks flushed red as you felt the man’s gaze on you. “Oh so you’re the famous Y/n right? I’ve heard so much about you.”

God please have mercy.

“I hope only good things,” you replied with a smile and offered him your hand, which he immediately shook. The way his eyes moved up and down your body made your skin crawl, and the smirk he had plastered across his lips as he looked at you didn’t suggest anything good.

You pulled your hand away, forcing a smile as he started to speak, and cursed both Kim and Adam when you saw them sneak away, both giggling as they left you alone with that guy.

As they say, a woman’s sixth sense is like a gift, it never fails.

And it didn’t even take half an hour of talking to Caleb to realize he was self-centered and you’d never see him again. He talked your ear off as if you’d known each other your whole life, focusing mostly on him, his work, the gym, his exploits. You nodded every now and then, just to give him the impression you were listening when in reality your mind had dissociated after the first ten minutes of conversation.

And by conversation you obviously meant monologue.

He didn’t ask you anything, and by nothing you really meant nothing, not how old you were, your job, your hobbies, in short the simple questions one asks when one is getting to know another.

You looked around bored, cursing Kim and yourself with every fiber of your being for letting yourself being dragged—for the million time— in a situation you didn’t want to be in.

You decided you’d never take a single piece of her advice about men ever again.

“Once, when I was still on patrol, there was a robbery a few blocks away. I was alone and when I got there the thief was already running. I’ll make this short but even the commander congratulated me…”

You were trying really hard to listen to him but every time you tried to pay attention, he was still talking about himself. It was hard to follow his conversation/monologue without being fascinated by some random spot in the room like the chandelier.

Caleb was a beautiful man, that was objective. He was tall, broad-shouldered, he had a sculpted physique, defined jaw, eyes as blue as the sky. But beauty wasn’t everything, not when his character was similar to a mollusk.

“Hey baby, here you are, I’ve been looking for you for a while,” a male voice reached your ears from behind and you almost had a heart attack when you felt an arm wrap around your shoulders. You snapped your head towards the man, finding yourself in front of one of the most beautiful man you’d ever see.

Forget Caleb, who the hell was this man?

You froze, having no idea what to say or do. Who the hell was he? What did he want?

“Sorry it took so long but the line for the bathroom was endless,” the stranger continued and you tried with every fiber of your being to remain impassive. Your body was tense as a violin string as you tried to subtly move away from his grasp.

Breathtaking or not, you didn’t know him.

“Baby? You have a boyfriend? Kim told me you were single,” Caleb exclaimed almost indignantly, alternating his gaze between you and the stranger. You thanked God he was a second-rate cop and had the detective skills of a hamster or he would’ve seen from a mile away this was the first time you’d seen that man around you.

“Oh, well this is pretty new not many people know about us, but we’ve been seeing each other for a while. Thanks for keeping my girlfriend company—”

“Caleb.”

“Carl. Thanks,” the stranger held out a hand and Caleb looked at it before looking back at you and walking away without a word, a furious expression on his face.

You didn’t even bother following him because damn, you were so relieved you got him out of the way.

The stranger’s gaze was on you even though he had removed his arm from around you.

“Well, I guess you need to work on your acting skills but it went well right?”

You widened your eyes, still confused about what the hell was going on. “Who are you?”

“Oh you’re welcome, I didn’t just save you from the most boring date of your life,” he smirked.

You continued to look at him, confused, embarrassed and unable to form a coherent sentence. Who the hell was this man? And why was he so breathtakingly handsome? And why did he just pretend to be your boyfriend?

He held out a hand towards you, a smirk plastered across his lips, acting like he hadn’t just pretended to be in a relationship with a stranger. “I’m Jay Halstead. You must be Y/n right? It’s nice to finally meet you.”

Jay? Why does this sound familiar?

You widened your eyes, not even trying to hide your expression of fear and shock. “How do you know my name?” You asked, taking a step back, ready to run away.

His gaze softened, understanding he must’ve really looked like a stalker. “Sorry I didn’t mean to scare you, I work with Kim in Intelligence. She mentioned you a couple of times and I assumed it was you since you’re the only one of her friends I’ve never met.”

Then you realized why his name was familiar to you. Kim—when talking about her job—had sometimes mentioned a ‘Jay’ and it was nice to finally be able to associate the face with that name, especially if the face was that one.

God he’s so hot.

“Listen,” he continued, raising his hands in surrender, a drink in the left one, “I’m not a stalker I swear—I came off in the wrong way. I just saw you from afar while you were talking to Carl, and you seemed to be in trouble so I thought I’d help. Let’s start over, shall we?”

You tried not to chuckle at the way he got Caleb’s name wrong and stared at him for a moment. He maintained eye contact, his irises locked on yours with no sign of changing direction. You had only just noticed how green his eyes were and you didn’t know why, but something inside you made you no longer want to run away.

You nodded and he smiled triumphantly and, God, he had one of the most beautiful smiles you had ever seen. He held out a hand to you again. “I’m Jay, nice to meet you.”

You tried to suppress a smile of your own and you clasped his hand. “It’s Y/n, the pleasure is mine.”

That handshake sent a spark up your entire arm, not in the cliché kind of way, but in the way that made you feel your body suddenly enveloped in a wave of heat.

He didn’t let go of your hand right away, but you didn’t care. You liked it, you liked the way his grip was strong, firm, confident, but his touch soft at the same time. You liked how his palm felt rough against yours but his skin was warm, a stark contrast to yours.

His thumb skimmed against the back of your hand before he pulled it away, bringing the glass to his lips with his other hand and taking a sip of his drink. All without him ever breaking eye contact with you.

This single innocent gesture left you breathless.

Did I mention he’s so damn hot and sexy?

He looked at you with curiosity, as if he had already decided that from now on his attention would be solely on you.

“This is the part where I have to thank you for saving me from an embarrassing date, isn’t it?”

His eyes flickered for a second on your lips as you spoke and he subtly took a deep breath, taking another sip of his drink. You pretended it didn’t affect you in the slightest even though your stomach had just flipped.

“You not filing a complaint against me is a great thank you,” Jay replied making you laugh, “and besides, I should be the one thanking Kim.”

You tilted your head slightly to the side, looking at him with a questioning expression. “Kim? Why?”

“For setting you up with the wrong guy, might’ve missed my shot otherwise.”

You burst out laughing again and rolled your eyes. “C’mon Jay, is that the best you can do?”

“Ouch,” he put his hand to his chest as if he was in pain. “That really hurt, I may be rusty but I’m not that bad c’mon.”

You smirked. “You’ll survive officer.”

“Nuh, uh. It’s detective, please.”

“My bad, I apologize Detective,” it was your turn to raise your hands in surrender. “But seriously, thank you for saving me from whatever that was.”

He smiled softly at you. “It was a pleasure. You were a couple seconds away from pulling the fire alarm to escape, I couldn’t just stay there and do nothing.”

“Oh, so you make a habit of being a knight and saving damsels in distress?”

“Nah, only the ones that are worth saving,” he replied, and you laughed, feeling that anxious and nervous feeling fade away as you continued to converse—for real this time—with Jay.

“I could’ve gotten away with it, you know,” you crossed your arms and Jay’s eyes flickered, for a millisecond, to your chest, specifically the neckline of your dress.

“Please,” he raised an eyebrow, “if he had kept talking any longer you would’ve ripped your hair out.”

“Stop you’re so dramatic, that’s not true at all,” you rolled your eyes—even though it was the truest thing you had ever heard—making him chuckle. “What’s your poison?” You nodded to his drink as he brought it to his lips and took a sip.

A teasing smile caressed his lips and then it was your turn flicking your gaze to his mouth. You had tried to resist but damn it was so hard. “Bourbon, neat. Effective right?”

You raised an eyebrow, mirroring his playful energy. “Is efficient a new fancy way of saying banal and predictable?”

He let out a soft laugh, the sound so low and warm it made your insides squirm. “Probably,” he countered, “but it’s still a classic.” He slightly tilted his head to the side as his green eyes roamed along your body, lingering for a moment on your dress before meeting your gaze again. You felt every inch of your skin catch fire under his eyes and you couldn’t help but compare Jay’s gaze to Caleb’s, which only made your skin crawl instead. “But it’s not for you. I think you’re more of a champagne kind of woman.”

At that same moment, by pure coincidence, a waiter carrying a tray of champagne glasses passed not far from you. Jay stopped him and took it, before offering it to you. You blushed, before taking it, your fingers brushing against him. “Thank you.”

You lifted your glass towards him, a quiet smile playing on your lips. “To Kim and Adam,” you said.

“To Kim and Adam,” he repeated voice low and smooth. He raised his glass to meet you, the soft clink echoing between you. For a moment, neither of you spoke—his eyes holding yours with an intensity that made your breath catch. It was just a toast, simple and harmless, but the way he was looking at you? Nothing about it felt simple.

“So, you’re a champagne type of woman,” he smirked.

“Guilty,” you shrugged your shoulders. “But what can I say? I like little sparkle in my life.”

You took another sip of champagne and that time it was your gaze that roamed along his body, perfectly wrapped in the tux he was wearing—over the broad lines of his shoulders, the way his dress shirt stretched just right across his chest.

Man, he looked so good it had to be illegal.

When your eyes returned to his you noticed the way he clenched his jaw and the slightest twitch of his lips as he looked at you, as if he knew exactly what you were doing but didn’t mind a bit.

His fingers flexed around his glass and a sexy smirk appeared on his lips, his eyes shining like the moon in the night. He slightly tilted his head to the side, his index finger brushing along the rim of his glass in a slow, absent-minded motion—like he was thinking about something he probably shouldn’t say out loud. “A little spark huh? And here I thought I was bringing the spark.”

You giggled. Yep, actually giggled. “Oh yeah? So that’s what you’re doing?”

“If you’re asking me then I’m not doing a good job,” he retorted, with a fake sad expression acting like he just wiped a tear, “you’re hurting me so much tonight.”

“Oh, you poor thing, I’d hate to bruise that big ego of yours.” You placed a hand on his bicep and caressed it in mock comfort and, fuck, you had to use every fiber of your body to not squeeze and feel up his muscles.

He tensed under your touch, his breath hitching in his throat feeling of your hand on him.

His lips curved into a slow, lazy smile—the kind that sent a shiver down your spine. “Don’t worry, sweetheart,” he drew, his voice dropping just a notch lower. “I can take a hit. Besides…” His gaze swept over you again, slower this time—unapologetic. “Something tells me it’s worth it.”

You bit the inside of your cheek to stop the smile threatening to break free, but to no avail. He was too good at this—too smooth, too charming, but damn if it wasn’t working.

“Careful Detective Halstead someone might think you’re flirting with me,” you smirked, taking another sip of your champagne.

He shortened the distance between you, subtly and not too noticeably, but you felt his presence, his scent enveloping you fully, more than it had done so far. “Luckily I don’t care about anyone but the person I’m talking to right now,” he replied, “and they’d be right because that’s exactly what I’m doing.”

The air between you grew heavier—not uncomfortable but charged with something unspoken. For a moment, neither of you spoke, the noise of the wedding reception fading into a distant hum. You should’ve looked away, said something to break the tension, but you didn’t want to.

You’ve never felt anything like this, being so damn attracted to a man you were dying to kiss him, to touch him.

“So confident,” you murmured. You tried to keep your eyes on his, but you couldn’t, not when his mouth was not too far from yours. “And here I thought you were just being nice.”

He chuckled, his voice low and deep. “Trust me sweetheart, there’s nothing nice about what I’m thinking right now.”

You took another sip, hoping to steady the warmth curling low in your stomach. Why were your legs suddenly turning to jelly?

“So…” you started, arching a brow in an attempt to shift the focus back on him, “do you flirt like this with every girl you save, or am I just special?”

Jay’s smile widened and he took a slow sip of his bourbon before answering. “You tell me,” he said, his voice smooth as silk. “Do you feel special?”

Damn him.

You laughed softly, shaking your head and taking a deep breath at the same time. “You’re trouble, Halstead.”

He didn’t deny it. “And yet, you’re still talking to me,” he pointed out, eyes gleaming with mischief. “What does that say about you?”

“That I make questionable decisions?”

Jay let out another quiet laugh, but this one felt different—lower, warmer. “Or maybe,” he murmured, leaning in a bit towards you, “you’re exactly where you want to be.”

And the truth? You weren’t sure you could argue with that because he was right, you were where you wanted to be.

You finished the rest of your glass in a single sip because there were two possibilities, this or jump on him and you couldn’t already do that considering you had just met him.

He was throwing you off so much it left you speechless and it wasn’t like you. You didn’t know if you loved it or hated it.

He chuckled as he continued to look at you, as if he had just read your mind.

Your guardian angel, Kim—who you’d thank for the rest of your life from that moment on—appeared at that exact moment, interrupting the game of glances between you and Jay that was becoming too intense for your own good.

“Jay! Y/n? Where’s Caleb?” She asked, visibly excited and smiling.

“I have no idea, courtesy of my fake boyfriend here,” you nodded at Jay who chuckled sexily.

How could laughter be so sexy?

“We need to talk about your questionable taste in men Kim, what kind of rat did you want her to be paired with?” He joked one hand shoved into his pants pocket while the other held his almost empty glass.

“Hey, don’t talk to my wife like that, I’d say she made a good choice in men,” Adam suddenly intervened, wrapping his arm around Kim’s hips and pressing a kiss to her temple. The sight warmed your heart, making you smile like an idiot.

“So, you’ve already introduced yourselves,” Kim continued, alternating her gaze between you and Jay but with a sinister smirk on her lips.

You and Jay exchanged a quick knowing look. “Yeah, he saved me from the mess that was Caleb. And by the way, I’m never listening to you ever again Kim, don’t do that to me again.”

“You two look so good together,” Kim blurted out and giggled, visibly tipsy. “Don’t you think they look hot together honey?”

“Okay that’s enough, let’s get back to dancing,” Adam chimed in again, struggling to contain his laughter, before dragging his wife away.

Before she left though Kim came back to you and whispered, “I was watching you two from afar there’s so much sexual tension between you two that even I got turned on.”

Your cheeks turned on fire but before you could respond Adam finally dragged her away, leaving you alone with Jay again.

He let out a light laugh, and you turned your head towards him. “Do I want to ask you what she said?”

You shook your head, taking another sip of champagne as you still heard her words echoing in your head. “Nope.”

He looked at you for a moment, his eyebrow raised. “Kim really does have questionable matching skills, I take it this isn’t the first time with Carl,” he said, changing the subject.

“You have no idea,” you rolled your eyes, “my brain can’t comprehend how she managed to match me with these men and not one of them was normal.”

“Well, have you thought that maybe they weren’t the problem?”

You gasped in fake shock and elbowed him in the side, and he pretended to be in excruciating pain, making you laugh at the show he was putting on. “I could arrest you for assault on a police officer you know that right? You’d look really pretty in a prison uniform.”

“You think I’ll look cute in handcuffs too?”

What the fuck?! Where the hell did that come from?

Jay, who was taking his last sip of bourbon, chocked on it and started coughing after the liquor went down the wrong way and, although you were embarrassed by the stupidity of that statement, the scene was pretty hilarious.

“You good? Should I call a doctor? What happened?” You teased him, trying to hold back your laughter but failing miserably.

“You know damn well what happened,” he retorted with mock annoyance even as the smile on his lips belatedly came. “And pretty wouldn’t even come close to how good you’d look in handcuffs if you really wanted an answer, but that’s something we’ll talk about later.”

You blushed, once again, from head to toe and hated yourself for this reaction and how easily he could see it. “Later? Who says there’s gonna be a ‘later’?”

He smirked down at you, and it was so sexy it made your head spin. “Trust me there will be.”

“You’re so cocky detective.”

Jay leaned in just a fraction, enough that the faint scent of his cologne wrapped around you—something warm and woodsy, with a hint of spice. “Only when I’m sure about something,” he said, his voice softer now, but no less intense.

His words hung in the air, thick and heavy, and you felt heat creep up the back of your neck. You could've played it cool, thrown back a quip, but the way he was looking at you made your pulse skip in a way that was impossible to ignore.

His gaze dropped to your lips again—just for a second—but it was enough to send a fresh wave of heat curling through your body.

“C’mon,” he said suddenly, holding out a hand towards you. “You owe me a dance.”

You lifted a brow. “Do I?”

Jay shrugged, as if it was the most obvious thing in the world. “Well, I did save you from Carl. Seems only fair.”

You rolled your eyes, but you couldn’t fight the smile that broke free as you slipped your hand into his. “Alright, Detective,” you quipped, “but only because you asked so nicely.”

His fingers curled around yours—firm, warm, just the right amount of possessive. And as he led you toward the dance floor, you realized something else: you didn’t want to let go.

The music shifted as you reached the edge of the dance floor—something slower, smoother, the kind of song that practically begged for two people to be just a little too close.

Exactly what you wanted.

Jay didn’t hesitate. His hand slid easily to your waist, fingers splayed warm and wide on the small of your back as he pulled you against him, close enough to send all your senses into a tizzy.

It had been hard until now, but this? Being so close to him that you could even count his eyelashes? It was devastating.

You couldn’t even recognize yourself, you’d never found yourself craving a man’s touch so badly, like you needed it to breathe, and in that moment you realized you’d only met the wrong people because, fuck, you were missing out.

“You good with this?” he murmured in your ear, his voice just for you. Low. Intimate. And there was something in the way he asked—like he cared, but also like he already knew your answer.

You nodded, hoping he didn’t feel the way your heart was beating against his chest. Your bodies began to sway in time to the slow music, like you’d done it a million times, like he wasn’t a stranger to you and you a stranger to him.

You didn’t know anything about the man, and he didn’t know anything about you, but you were so drawn to each other it almost drove you crazy.

As you engaged in small talk, you tried not to focus on how close he was—on how his thumb brushed against your back every time he shifted—but it was impossible. Especially when every slight movement seemed to make the space between you shrink.

He asked about you, what do you do for a job or in your free time, how old were you, how long have you known Kim, you asked about him and his life, and it was crazy how, even though you had known each other for literally a short time, you both felt comfortable talking to each other, joking and laughing when you both made terrible jokes.

“You’re really giving me a hard time,” he said, his fingers flexing on your hip.

You turned your head to meet his gaze, realizing how he was already looking at you. There wasn’t any trace of humor left, his eyes were staring at you, but they weren’t focused on yours exactly, they traveled along your face as if he was analyzing you, memorizing every feature and detail.

“Why?” You asked and his eyes flickered on your lips. He continued to caress your hip unconsciously, your bodies pressed against each other and with every slight movement you could feel the heat between you intensifying.

“Because I’m trying so hard to behave and be a gentleman but it’s getting really hard,” he answered softly, his voice raspy, his breath an inch from your lips. “And I hate not being in control.”

You stopped breathing for a second and a shiver ran down your spine. It would’ve been so easy to break that distance, it would’ve only taken a couple of inches and his mouth would’ve been on yours to finally satisfy that visceral attraction that was pulling you towards each other.

And you most likely would’ve let him do it if it hadn’t been for Kim who, with her usual perfect timing, had grabbed your arm, totally drunk and with a beaming smile.

“C’mon Y/n, we have to dance together!” she exclaimed loudly, jumping up and down with an enthusiasm you had never seen in her as she continued to pull on your arm without even leaving you room to protest.

Jay’s arm was still around your hip, though his grip wasn’t as firm as it had been before, and you hated to admit it, but you already missed that touch.

It seemed mutual because you felt him tense for a moment, his fingers reluctant to release their grip on you, as if he also hated the idea of letting you go. But eventually he did, slowly, the heat of his hand still burning through your dress and against your skin even after you’d pulled away.

“Don’t go too far,” he whispered in your ear, quiet enough to make it seem like a secret between the two of you.

And as Kim dragged you through the crowd to the beat of a more upbeat song, you turned to him and gave him one last look. Jay was still there, standing at the edge of the dance floor, his hands stuffed in his pockets, that intense gaze still fixed on you. He winked at you before you disappeared into the crowd and you almost tripped on your own feet.

Oh my fucking god.

Jay leaned against a wall, his hands still in his pockets, one foot placed in front of the other. In other moments he wouldn’t have waited to take another drink, but that night he wanted to be as sober as possible.

His gaze was fixed on the crowd of people dancing on the dance floor, but not on everyone, his eyes scanned the people only for one person in particular. He cursed those disco strobe lights because, in those dim lights, it was not easy to find you.

But when he finally did, his attention was focused only and solely on you, not on the music, not on the world around him.

You were laughing now, spinning with Kim on the dance floor, some strands of your hair coming out of your hairstyle as you moved to the music. He should’ve backed away. Hell, he’d spent years perfecting that skill, knowing when to pull back, where to avoid getting too close, perceive when there was danger. But with you? It wasn’t that easy.

It hadn’t been from the second he laid eyes on you, when he saw you enter the wedding venue with some of your friends.

He didn’t know what kind of witchcraft you had performed on him but he seemed to not be able to stop looking at you. His gaze tracked the curve of your smile and the movement of your lips as you sang along the song, the flush on your skin from the warmth of the room, and the way your dress hugged your figure just enough to make his thoughts stray somewhere they shouldn’t.

He told himself to get it together—to stop looking at you like a creepy stalker—but it was a losing battle, he seemed hypnotized.

And when you tipped your head back, laughing at something Kim said, Jay swore under his breath.

He was in trouble.

Because the truth was, it wasn’t just the way you looked—although you were one of the most beautiful women he had ever seen—it was the way you felt. Warm and soft against him when you danced, your hand fitting so easily in his. The way you leaned into his touch, like part of you wanted him closer, even when you were pretending otherwise.

It almost scared him how he found himself talking, laughing and joking so easily with a stranger he had just met.

But he wanted more of that. More of you.

And that realization hit him harder than it should’ve.

Jay exhaled slowly, willing the tension in his chest to ease. It didn’t work. Not when you turned your head as you kept dancing, scanning the room as if you were searching for something, or someone.

And when your eyes locked, his heart gave a sharp kick, one he didn’t truly expect. And the way you held his gaze? It did something to him.

Your lips curled into the faintest smile—small, almost shy—and damn if it didn’t make something twist low in his stomach. He should’ve been the one in control here, but with just one look, you had him pinned. And the worst part was that he didn’t mind.

Not even a little.

Your attention was caught again by one of your friends who pulled you towards her as you belted out the song in the background, breaking eye contact.

He tried to look away from you sometimes, focusing his attention on something else but it was as if his eyes were attracted to a magnet, you.

And maybe that was the problem.

He wasn’t supposed to feel this, wasn’t supposed to want someone he’d just met with this kind of heat and desire curling through his veins. But here he was, eyes on you, mind already running a dangerous path of wondering how you’d taste if he let himself get too close.

He was about to move—to do something, anything—but then Kim grabbed your hand again, spinning you around in a dizzy circle. Your laughter rang out, bright and carefree, while Jay just stood there against that wall.

He didn’t belong in this moment. Not really. A guy like him—weighted down by too much baggage, too many mistakes, a very dangerous job—had no business wanting you like this.

But God help him, he did.

When the song shifted to something louder and faster, you finally pulled back from Kim, breathless and glowing in a way that had no right to make his pulse pick up. Kim was already dragging Adam away, leaving you alone again, and for half a second, Jay thought this was his shot.

But then, just as quickly, you disappeared into the crowd.

And that shouldn’t have bothered him, but it did. More than it had any right to.

Jay exhaled, dragging a hand through his face. He told himself to play it cool, to just let it go, but the thing was, he didn’t want to let it go. Let you go.

And if he had anything to say about it, this night wasn’t ending until he found you again.

Jay pushed himself off the wall, his pulse thudding a little harder than he wanted to admit.

He wasn’t the type to chase after someone, not like this. But that night, he couldn’t seem to help himself. His eyes scanned the room, but the crowd was thicker now, people swaying to the music, bodies pressed too close.

You weren’t on the dance floor anymore. He knew that much. And the longer it took to find you, the harder it became to shake the restless feeling gnawing at the edges of his control.

Get a grip, Halstead.

He could’ve leave you alone. Should’ve, probably. But as he moved through the party he knew nothing would sit right until he saw you again.

And then, just when he started to think he’d lost you for good, he caught a sight of you through the open door leading to the balcony.

Jay hesitated, his hand curling into a fist at his side. He didn’t know what the hell he was doing, all he knew was that the moment he saw you again, his mind quieted. And maybe that was reason enough.

Without giving himself time to second-guess, he stepped outside.

You were leaning against the railing, your back to him, the cool night air brushing against your bare shoulders. He let himself take in the sight of you for just a second longer—how the city lights reflected off your skin, how you tilted your head back like you were finally catching your breath.

You were breathtaking. So fucking beautiful it hurt.

“Wasn’t sure if I’d get another chance to steal you away.”

You turned your head at the sound of his voice, and there it was again, that little smile. “Something tells me you love a good challenge Detective.”

He huffed a quiet laugh, nodding. “I feel like the reward will be worthy.”

He moved closer to you as he took off his jacket and placed it on your shoulders, leaving his hands there for a while as he let your scent engulf him. You then turned fully to face him and Jay didn’t miss the way your eyes roamed along his body, focusing for a moment on his chest, his arms, before looking back into his eyes.

“Oh so you really like me,” you joked, eyes still on him, slightly tilting your head but he couldn’t ignore the blush on your cheeks.

“Thought I made that pretty clear by now.”

And just like that, the tension stretched tight again, thicker this time but with the difference that nothing and no one would interrupt this time.

For a moment, neither of you spoke. The distant thump of music spilled through the open door, but out here? It felt like the rest of the world had faded away.

He closed the distance between you, never taking his eyes off yours. He tried to pull away, but it was as if he physically couldn’t, as if he needed it.

“And here I thought you’d even left the party.”

“You’re hurting me so much tonight, I’m not that bad at hitting on you c’mon.”

You giggled and bit your bottom lip. He found himself suppressing a groan because, damn, he had never wanted anything so badly as he wanted to bite your lip.

“Well,” you batted your lashes, “you’re definitely making it hard for me to leave now,” your eyes flicked to his lips before returning to his and he told himself to calm down but, God help him, if you did that again he’d lose every ounce of control he had left.

“I guess you found a good reason to stay then,” his tongue flicked across his bottom lip and he couldn’t miss the way your gaze landed on his lips, again. The light was dim, not very bright, but he could see so clearly how dilated your pupils were and it drove him crazy, knowing you felt the same.

“Is that so?” You murmured. He leaned closer to you and placed his hands on the railing at either side of you, trapping you in his arms but not touching you. Your breathing quickened at the closeness, your lips parted slightly as if you needed air, and that was enough to make his pulse quicken and the heat in his blood spike.

“You’re here, aren’t you?” he taunted

You let out a quiet laugh, warm and soft, and something about the sound made his fingers itch to touch you again, so much so that he tightened his fingers around the cold metal of the railing.

You took his tie—which had been dangling between you—into your hands, and Jay seriously thought he was going to collapse at your feet at any moment. You hadn’t done anything too dramatic, but he felt like he was going to have an aneurysm. Just seeing your fingers caress the fabric of your tie, how you played with it while you continued to look at him, drove him crazy.

“I’m exactly where I want to be,” you repeated under your breath the words he had said a few hours earlier. His hands were gripping the railing so tightly his knuckles were completely white from trying to vent the frustration he felt.

His fingers inched closer and closer to you, until the sides of his thumbs were brushing against your dress. God, how much he wanted to grab you, hold you and touch you, every inch of your body until the ground disappeared beneath you.

You didn’t pull away, if anything, you shifted closer, your warmth seeping into his skin.

“What are you thinking about?” You asked when he remained silent, staring at you while you continued to play with his tie.

“I think,” he murmured, his thumb sweeping slow circles against your pelvis’ side, “you’re gonna be a problem for me.”

The tension cracked, sharp and electric, and neither of you moved, like you were both waiting to see who’d break first.

“Maybe I want to be,” you admitted quietly.

That was all he needed.

Jay didn’t overthink it, he just moved, closing the last bit of space between you. His hand slid to your waist and made you stand upright, as he tilted his head down, giving you plenty of time to pull back.

But you didn’t.

You stayed right there, your breath warm against his skin as your fingers curled into the front of his shirt.

“You’re making this impossible,” he said, his voice rougher now, low enough that only you could hear. His fingers flexed against your waist, dragging you closer without meaning to. Or maybe he did. He wasn’t sure anymore. “I’m trying so hard to be good, but—fuck.”

“But what?” you interrupted, your tone softer, breathier than before. His eyes snapped to yours, and the challenge in your gaze nearly broke him. “What happens if you stop trying?”

His breath hitched. Jesus Christ.

Jay let out a low, bitter laugh, because you weren’t making this any easier. And the worst part? You knew it. You knew exactly what you were doing to him.

“Do you really want me to answer that?” he asked, as his fingers trailed up, just slightly, brushing the curve of your ribs. It wasn’t a question. Not really.

Your lips parted, and for a second—just a second—he thought maybe you’d call his bluff. But instead, you tilted your head, eyes fixed on his mouth like you were imagining the same damn thing he was.

“I really, really do,” you murmured. And that was it. That was the crack in the dam.

His other hand came up before he could stop himself, fingers grazing along your jaw, tilting your face toward his as his nose brushed against yours. “You have no idea how much I want you right now,” he admitted, no more games, no more teasing. Just raw, unfiltered truth. His fingers brushed a strand of hair from your face, tucking it behind your ear. “I don’t even know you but you’re driving me crazy. You have to stop me.”

You didn’t flinch. Didn’t pull away. Instead, your lips curled into the faintest smile, bold, knowing, and it only fueled the fire already burning through his veins.

“The thing is, I don’t want you to stop,” you whispered, leaning in just enough for your breath to brush against his lips, “I don’t want you to be good or patient.”

The words punched through his last shred of restraint like they were designed to. And for a beat, all he could do was look at you—at the flush on your skin, the way your chest rose and fell a little too fast.

“Don’t say that unless you mean it,” he warned, though it came out rougher than he intended, his thumb brushing the edge of your jaw, slower than necessary.

“I wouldn’t be here if I didn’t,” you shot back, quiet but sure—so sure—and, fuck, he was done for.

He wanted to win that little silent race, to see you snap but the truth was that he had lost from the start, he had no chance of winning.

So, when he finally kissed you, it wasn’t an attempt.

It was slow, deliberate, like he wanted to memorize the way you tasted, in case it was the last time. The faintest hint of champagne lingered on your lips, but beneath it was something that made his heart slam harder against his ribs.

You kissed him back like you wanted this just as much as he did, your hands sliding up to the back of his neck, pulling him closer, deeper, making his jacket fall on the floor.

And Jay? He let himself fall into it. Into you.

Jay’s lips moved against yours, slow and thorough, but nothing about the way he touched you felt careful. His hands slid along your waist, fingers pressing into the curve of your hip, squeezing you like he was memorizing the shape of you. Every brush of his skin against yours sent sparks racing through your body, and the heat pooling low in your stomach only grew stronger with each passing second.

His palms flattened against your lower back, pulling you closer until there wasn’t a single inch of space left between your bodies, until you could feel how much he really wanted you. He was warm, solid—everywhere—and the way he held you made your breath hitch.

You tugged lightly on the back of his neck. The muscles beneath your fingers were tense, and a shudder ran through him as your nails scraped gently against his skin. His breath hitched in response, and something about knowing you could unravel him like this made the heat in your blood burn hotter.

“You’re killing me,” he muttered against your mouth, his voice rough and frayed at the edges. His lips brushed over yours again, lingering like he was savoring the taste of you. But his hands, God, his hands, were anything but patient.

His fingers traced a slow, deliberate path up your spine, skimming beneath the hem of your dress as he went. The warmth of his touch against your bare skin felt a sharp, delicious shiver curling through you, and when his hand settled at the small of your back again, his grip tightened, so possessive like he wanted to keep you exactly where you were.

And you wanted to stay there.

You wanted more.

Your body arched instinctively into his, and Jay swore softly under his breath, his hold on you turning rougher, like he was losing the battle to keep himself in check. His fingers flexed at your hip, sliding lower, almost touching your ass before skimming back up, as if he couldn’t decide where he wanted to touch you most.

And when your hand drifted from his neck to the front of his shirt, fingers curling into the soft fabric, you felt the sharp rise and fall of his chest beneath your palm. His heart was racing and the realization felt another jolt of heat spiraling through you.

“Jay,” you breathed against his mouth, in such an intense and desperate tone, as if you needed him and his distance hurt you, and his response was immediate. His lips crashed back onto yours with a hunger that stole your breath, and the slow, careful rhythm shattered beneath the weight of all that tension.

He kissed you harder now, deeper. His tongue swept along your lower lip, and when you opened up for him, he groaned softly, a low, desperate sound that made your knees go weak.

His hand slid higher, dragging up your side, fingers brushing the sensitive skin beneath your ribs. He didn’t stop there. He traced the outline of your body desperately, knuckles grazing the side of your breast before his palm flattened against your ribcage, holding you firmly against him.

“Is this okay?” He whispered against your lips.

“Yes, god, yes please Jay,” you whispered back and damn, if your breathy voice hadn’t completely destroyed him. He loved seeing you as desperate for him as he was for you.

He kissed you again. “You’re driving me insane,” he murmured against your lips, and there was no teasing left in his voice. Just raw need. “I can’t—If you want me to stop say it because I fucking can’t.”

The response to those words of his was the way you grabbed his face and crashed your lips onto his again. “I don't want you to stop.”

Whatever fragile restraint he’d been clinging to snapped completely.

Jay’s hands tightened on your waist as he backed you against the wall, pressing you there like he needed to feel every inch of you against him.

His lips left yours just long enough to trail down your jaw, his breath warm as it ghosted over your skin. He didn’t stop when he reached your neck. Instead, he tilted your head gently to the side, giving himself more access as he pressed open-mouthed kisses along the curve of your throat and making you sigh in pleasure.

And when his teeth graced that sensitive spot just below your ear, you couldn’t hold back the soft sound that escaped your lips.

Jay froze at the sound—just for a second to control himself before he’d come in his pants. He groaned low in his throat, his mouth returning to yours in a kiss that was rougher now, messier, hungrier. Like hearing you fall apart pushed him over the edge.

One arm was around your waist as he held you so tightly it was almost impossible to move, while the other hand slid down, fingers spreading wide across your thigh. His thumb brushed slow circles against the sensitive skin there, inching higher with every pass. “Tell me to stop, and I will, okay?” he repeated.

But the way he touched you, the way his mouth lingered on yours, made it painfully clear he didn’t want to stop.

And neither did you.

“If you stop now, I might actually lose my mind.”

He chuckled before kissing you again as you pulled him closer, tilting your head to deepen the kiss even further. Your hands cupped his face, his beard tickling your palms as he took your breath away completely.

He slid his hand up your thigh again, taking advantage of the slit of your dress to touch your skin, to squeeze it, to feel it, to press his fingers so deeply into it until they left their mark. He grabbed your leg and wrapped it around his waist, making his pelvis grind with yours and making you both moan into the kiss.

His lips trailed back down to your neck, licking and sucking every inch of skin he had access to. “I want you so fucking bad.” His breath was hot against your skin, and when he spoke again, his voice was nothing but a rough, desperate whisper.

“Oh my fucking god Jay,” you gasped, trying to keep your voice low as his hand slid on your ass, squeezing it until you almost moaned again. “I want you so much too… Please…”

His lips found yours again, a desperate, greedy kiss that only deepened the ache between you two. There was no hesitation, no slowing down. Every touch, every movement, felt like a need that couldn’t be contained. You could feel the heat rising between you, consuming both of you in a way that made everything else fade.

His hard dick pressed into you, and the pressure made your breath hitch, another moan escaping as you started to grind into him again. His mouth left yours only long enough to whisper your name, low, rough, like a command.

“God, I need to feel you,” he muttered against your skin, like he was about to break. His teeth grazed your ear before his lips closed around the sensitive spot just below it, and you couldn’t stop the whimper that escaped again. It only turned him on even more, his hands moving and exploring every inch of you, as though he couldn’t get enough.

Your fingers dug into his shoulders, his back, his chest, pulling him even closer, matching the urgency of his movements. You wanted to rip that shirt off of him, you wanted to feel his skin under your fingers, touch him everywhere.

His lips trailed down to the curve of your shoulder, sucking gently as the strap of your dress slid down. The sensation made you pulse race beyond imagination, and you found yourself tugging at his shirt, eager to feel more of him.

“Jay, fuck,” you breathed again, voice trembling, and you pulled his face back to yours, crashing your lips together with the kind of hunger that mirrored his own. The kiss was messy, full of heat and need, and you lost yourself in it. You bit his lower lip, sucking it and making him groan. And, fucking hell, the sound was so sexy you felt it directly in your lower regions.

“Fuck, fuck, fuck Y/n,” he muttered desperately. His fingers brushing over the lace of your underwear before slipping inside, feeling how wet you were. The contact was electric, and the sharp moan you let out almost made him come in his pants. “Is this okay?” he murmured against your lips.

“Yes, shit… Oh… Oh god Jay you feel so good please don’t stop,” you moaned, your body moving on instinct, a desperate need for more, and the words only seemed to unravel him further.

There was no turning back now, and for once in your life, it felt like you were exactly where you were supposed to be.

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