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volklana · 24 days ago

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If Only You Could See Yourself Through My Eyes

Titles Comes From This Song:

Request: I have an idea for a one-shot with Sihtric for the future, where the girlfriend doesn’t allow him to tell his friends that they’re dating, and he starts to feel sad, confronts her, and discovers that she feels too ugly to be with him.

My darling wangjiangelangel I really hope I did your idea justice and I'm so sorry for the long wait ❤️❤️

Warnings: Reader is definitely struggling with self image issues, possibly body dysmorphia- If that's not something you feel able to read right now there is no pressure you can catch me next time xx

Sihtric collapsed down on the bed beside you trying to catch his breath.

He placed his forearm over his eyes as he came down from his high.

You padded into the kitchen to fetch a glass of water and he watched you in awe as you walked back to bed.

“How did I get so lucky,” he mused and you felt the heat rush to your cheeks, unable to take the compliment so you brushed it off.

You snuggled into Sihtric’s chest, your ear pressed against his skin, you listened to the steady beat of his heart, as he absentmindedly ran his fingers up and down the naked skin of your back.

You could not quite believe that you got to be with him like this, by some fluke, or mistake from the universe you got to love him.

You had been friends with Sihtric for years now. You had been there for all the heartbreaks, all the great loves, all the situationships and by some utterly divine mystery he had chosen to pursue you.

You, who had carried a flame for him from the very first moment you met him.

Who had accepted your place as his friend and expected nothing more from him.

Until his last relationship failed and he made a point of pursuing you.

“I think the reason it's never worked out with any of these other girls,” he confessed into the darkness one night “Is because it's always been you. All this time it's been you.”

He'd sat up suddenly to look into your eyes “I thought I was so protective of you because you were my friend but it's always been so much more than that hasn't it?”

You wanted to believe that was the case with all your heart but your head told you it was simply because he had exhausted all his other options that he now found himself in your arms, in your bed. But you weren’t complaining, you were just happy that you got to share this time with him.

“When can we tell the guys?” he asked, disturbing your inner thoughts, ear still pressed to his chest.

“I don't want to keep lying to them,” he sighed “I don't want to end every night out in separate taxis just to end up in the same bed anymore. It feels dishonest and I don't want to hide us anymore.”

You sighed and traced a finger along his chest “Can't we keep it between us just a little while longer? You know how the guys are, they will be all up in our business and I would just like you to myself that little bit longer.”

He smiled a beautiful and shy smile, but relented.

“Just promise me we will tell them soon. I'm beginning to think you're ashamed to be seen with me.”

Your heart sank into your stomach because it was very much the opposite, you did not think you were good enough for Sihtric in the slightest. He looked like he was carved from the gods, his muscles were no joke and his mop of dark curls framed his face in a way that made him look angelic. But his tattoos and fashion sense gave him that bad boy edge that made girls go weak at the knees, you had witnessed it first hand, you were one of those girls. You saw the effect he had on women, you saw the way they desired him and for some reason you hadn't quite figured out yet, whether it was humility or ignorance, Sihtric either paid no heed to it, or simply didn't notice.

You on the other hand, your love life before Sihtric had been nothing short of tragic.

You had been cheated on, ghosted, broken up with and humiliated more times than you cared to count and it had made you somewhat jaded.

Sihtric had been there for you through each breakup, back when he was just a friend, he had gotten into fights with exes on your behalf and you couldn't understand why he hadn't run for the hills yet like all the other guys before. But here he was after months of sneaking around, falling asleep in your bed, wanting to be honest with his friends about your relationship.

It was a few weeks before Sihtric broached the topic of telling his friends again and you froze on the spot.

“Come on, it's the Christmas work party babe, everyone is bringing their significant others and I want to bring you as my date I want to show you off. I even got you this, thought maybe you might like to wear it. It might make you feel special, because you are to me.”

He pulled out the most stunning, sparkly dress you had ever seen and your eyes immediately began to water.

“Sihtric it is beautiful,” you gushed, running your fingers over the material.

“You are beautiful,” he mused and his eyes lit up, “Go ahead and try it on I’m dying to see it on you.”

As you spun around in the sparkly dress in the mirror, Sihtric burst into the room, eyes wide in pure joy as he placed his hands over his mouth, “Oh my god you look incredible!!” he mused coming to spin you around, he watched you almost with childlike wonder and then he took your hands in his “We are going to look so incredible together!” His excitement was absolutely contagious and that was how you found yourself agreeing to go to the Christmas Party with him and finally being honest with his friends about your relationship.

Walking up the steps to the swanky bar, you suddenly wanted to tuck tail and run, and Sihtric seemed to sense your anxiety.

He gripped your face in his hands and stroked your cheeks lovingly, “Hey, don’t be nervous, it’s my friends and they love me and they will be so happy for us.” he reassured, and you leaned up to kiss him, despite the nerves.

You were Sihtric’s friend, of course you had naturally hung out with his friends once or twice but you were far from close with them, and every time you had met them they had been nothing short of lovely, but you could not shake the fear that they would reject you once they knew that you were together.

That they would somehow see what you knew to be true, that you were not good enough for him.

Sihtric spotted his friends already gathered, drinks in hand and with a hand on your lower back he directed you towards them.

“Hey guys, you remember y/n right?” he asked and without warning Finan surged forward and pulled you into a bear hug, “Of course we remember,” he teased spinning you around “Ya haven’t stopped talking about her since the day you met her.”

You were still giggling as he placed you down, and Gisela stepped forward to pull you into a gentler hug, “We have always known he had a thing for you,” she said softly, “He never stops talking about you.”

“He is smitten,” Uhtred chimed in, shaking your hand kindly when Gisela stepped back.

Osferth, always the more reserved, just smiled shyly your way.

“I am smitten,” Sihtric beamed, coming to slink his arm around your waist again “And now I can finally tell the whole world about it.”

You felt your cheeks go red and the anxiety began to stir in your stomach again.

Suddenly Sihtric’s hands felt too heavy on your waist and you began to feel too warm.

“I’m just going to pop to the bathroom,” you announced jittery, and dipped out from under his arm and made your way to the nearest restroom in a hurry.

You rushed towards the sink, splashing cold water on your wrists to try and cool yourself down, forcing yourself to take some deep breaths.

Sihtric was deep in conversation laughing with Finan about something stupid when Osferth began scanning the crowd looking for you.

“Is everything okay with y/n?” he whispered into Sihtric’s ear and then he too was scanning the crowd for your face.

He bumped into you just as you were exiting the bathroom and he looked at you worriedly.

“I just…I just needed a breather,” you lied, patting your sweaty hands on your dress.

“A breather? Y/n we just got here,” he was trying not to sound annoyed but you could hear it in his voice.

“I know- I know, I’m fine now let’s get back to your friends.”

The drinks were flowing and you really did try to have fun, but the truth was you just felt so uncomfortable. Every time you saw a woman look Sihtric’s way your heart fell a little, even though he never once placed his eyes on any other woman except you and he always found some way to keep his hands on you.

You made small talk with Gisela and found yourself in a debate with Finan about football, both of you talking animatedly over each other until he jokingly put you in a headlock because he could not admit defeat, your squeals of laughter caught Sihtric’s attention and he demanded that Finan let you go, you took that opportunity to dig him into the ribs and he was left momentarily breathless and dropped you immediately.

As he was bent over trying to catch his breath he pointed a finger straight into your chest “I really like this one Sihtric. You better not fuck up or I’ll swoop her off you.”

You laughed and Sihtric laughed too but there was a hint of jealousy behind his laughter.

You finally felt yourself relaxing when Sihtric’s boss Alfred made his way over to your table with his wife. From Sihtric’s stories you knew she was meant to be a piece of work, so you tried to make yourself as small as possible in her presence but she still singled you out anyway.

“You are quite different than the last one he was with aren’t you?” she sniped, and you felt your cheeks tinge red.

“She worked on Fleet Street right, in Financing?”

“I believe so,” you answered shyly.

“And what exactly is it that you do?” she shot.

“I’m a freelance photographer,” you answered shyly “And I take shifts in my local pub to make up the difference.”

She scoffed a laugh and regarded you from the corner of her eye “So not bringing much in terms of value to the relationship really if you’re not able to make ends meet. I suppose you will be relying on Sihtric’s money too then?”

Your nostrils flared in anger, you wanted to snap at this bitch but Sihtric’s honey laugh pulled your attention to where he was sitting and you felt your anger dissipate.

She had only spoken aloud what you had known to be true from day one, you were not good enough for that beautiful force of a man, he laughed again and you couldn’t help the sad smile that spread out across your face, as you excused yourself out onto the balcony for some air, grabbing a free flute of champagne as you passed.

Sihtric was once again frustrated to find that he could not find your face in the crowd, he called your name, pushing through bodies on the way to the bar and he was still coming up short.

He finally spotted you through the glass doors out to the balcony, leaning against the railing, staring absentmindedly up at the skyscrapers across the London skyline.

“Y/n, what are you doing out here?” he snapped but he didn’t mean to, “I feel like I’ve spent all night looking for you and you’re nowhere to be seen. This was supposed to be fun, our first night out together officially as a couple and I feel like you’ve been avoiding me all night.”

You stiffened, and took a deep breath but your hands were shaking and you refused to face him.

“I’m sorry Sihtric,” you whispered, voice small, and he instantly regretted sounding so harsh.

“Talk to me. What’s going on?” he hushed, reaching out for you, alarmed at the tears in your eyes when you finally turned to face him, “What’s wrong babygirl?” he soothed, taking your hands in his.

“Sihtric,” you cried. “I don’t think this is a good idea anymore. Us. We- we’re just not suited, you deserve so much better than me and what I can give you.”

Hurt flashed across his face and he reached out to cup your face “Hey, where is this coming from?” he shook you a little and you just retreated further into yourself and doubled down.

“It’s for the best,” you continued, still refusing to meet his eye.

“Don’t do this here?” he cried “Please, let’s go home and talk about it. Please?” he begged.

“Please baby,” he begged again after you didn't relent, placing his forehead against yours.

“Sihtric, no,” you sniffed, untangling yourself from his grip and pushing him away to create some space.

“This whole night I have been trying to be perfect for you, trying to make myself someone that your friends would deem worthy of you, and I’m failing because the truth is- The truth is and I’ve known it all along is that I don’t deserve you. Your friends can see that. Your boss’s wife can see that, I don’t know why you can’t.”

“What are you talking about, not good enough for me?” he looked exasperated, and tried to reach for you again but you shrugged him off.

“You forget that I’ve been here for it all. All your exes that could have been models. All the successful girls who had nice apartments and were good for you, and I can’t compare an inch Sihtric, it’s why you kept me as a friend for so long, that’s the truth. And you just don’t want to admit that so I’m doing it for us both.”

Sihtric took an involuntary step backwards and his back collided with the railing behind, he ran a hand messily through his hair and you both stood in silence for a moment.

“Do you love me?” he finally broke the silence, leaning his whole weight on the railing behind him, your eyes snapped up to examine him and his mismatched eyes were already boring into yours “Do. You. Love. Me?” he enunciated each word, and you nodded, tears slipping down your cheeks because you couldn't lie to him.

“Yes, I love you but it doesn’t change anything, I can’t change myself” you cried.

“I don’t want you to change a thing,” he pleaded, voice raised “I fucking love you. You are the most beautiful woman I have ever known, inside and out. You are the reason those other girls are my exes, how could I ever fully commit to them when I was already in love with you! And now what you’re telling me that you think you are not good enough for me? Well you don’t get to decide that for me. You don’t get to tell me that I can’t love you, because I do! There is no one else on this earth for me but you,” he was angry and his chest was rising and falling rapidly as he tried to control his temper.

You looked at him, his face stern but hurt at the same time.

“I just feel like I am letting you down all the time. Like my career, my life, my looks are not enough to earn my place by your side. I was so afraid that once we went public, someone else would make you realise that and you would leave me. I just thought if I ended things first it would hurt us both less,” you finally admitted.

“That’s why you put off telling my friends?” he asked softly “I thought you were ashamed of me, but it was the other way around this entire time?”

“Sometimes, I feel like the ugliest person on the planet,” you confessed, now it was truly time to start being honest with Sihtric “There are some days I can barely stand to look in the mirror and I can’t understand why someone as beautiful as you would even want to look at someone like me, let alone be with me.”

Sihtric sprung forward cupping your face in his hands and forcing your eyes up to meet his, “It’s crushing my heart to hear you talk about yourself like that. From the moment I met you I have thought you were the most beautiful woman on this earth. Earlier you made a jab about me leaving you in the friendzone and that was partly true, not by your reasoning but because I was so afraid to be rejected by you I chickened out of pursuing you for years. Y/n if you could only see yourself through my eyes you would see what a stunning, kind hearted, creative and strong person is looking back at me right now. But if you can’t believe that for yourself can you at least give me the chance to try and make you see?”

You nodded in his hands and he leaned in to kiss you.

“I’m glad you were honest with me in the end about what has been going on in that beautiful brain of yours, but please don’t ever talk about leaving me again, I couldn’t bear it.”

You leaned up onto your tiptoes to kiss him again, when the balcony door opened and a loud Irish man stumbled out.

“Everyone thought ye were gone!” he shouted “I said ye were fucking in the bathroom, but ye hardly did it out here for all to see did ye?”

“And you missed it all,” you teased “We literally just put our clothes back on,”

Sihtric laughed in your arms as Finan picked you up, “I’m doing shots with this one, are you coming?” he tossed you over his shoulder and your laughter made Sihtric sigh in relief, the tension of the last few minutes flowing out of every pore.

“Put her down Finan!” he shouted after the form of his retreating friend as you reached out to try and grab a hold of Sihtric's hand.

You stumbled into your apartment having done one too many shots with Finan and forcing Osferth to dance with you on the dancefloor, spinning him around so much he was nearly sick.

“I think I found my new best friend,” Gisela shouted into Sihtric’s ear over the loud music, and he gave her a squeeze in joy.

“She was so worried you guys wouldn’t like her,” he told her honestly.

“It’s not always so easy to go from friends to lovers,” she reasoned. “It’s a different dynamic. Be patient with her. You knew you had feelings for her all this time, but she didn’t.”

“Okay let’s get you to bed,” Sihtric laughed when you started hiccuping, and he picked you up bridal style carrying you to bed, and placing you gently down.

He went to fetch paracetamol and a glass of water, “Take these my darling, it will help with the hangover in the morning.”

“Good girl,” he mused when you swallowed down the glass of water, and you curled into him.

He brushed his fingers through your hair and placed a kiss to your forehead “I never want to hear you say that you don’t think you are good enough for me ever again,” he stated in a way that told you not to argue.

“You are the best thing that ever happened to me and I will never let anyone say anything bad about you again, including you!”

You chuckled at that and he smiled too, “Tell that to the voice in my head,” you slurred and he laughed out loud “Oh I plan to, every day for the rest of our lives!”

Tagging:

@canyonmoon-2 @sihtricfedaraaahvicius @whitedarkmoonflower @thenameswinter99 @foxyanon

@acdassenza @thatawkwardlittlefangirl @gemini-mama

@troyottonick @alexagirlie

a-beaverhausen nebulamorada izzydlb knight-of-flowerss

justcuriousandbored

#sihtric x reader #sihtric kjartansson x reader #sihtric kjartansson #sihtric fic #sihtric smut #the last kingdom fic #volklanawrites

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sitp-recs · 4 months ago

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Hi Liv, hope you’re doing well 💖

Before I start: I can’t believe just how lucky we are to live in this day and age where fandom exists… Where we got to experience it pre-AI and where all fics and fanart originated 100% from an artist’s mind. I also can’t believe how amazing AO3 is, and how easy it is to find exactly what you want when you want it. And then there are all those artists sharing their work with us. And people like ✨you✨ who make these perfectly tailored rec lists and it’s all just too good to be true!

That being said, I find that I’ve come to rely a bit too much on tags and themes and tropes, and I’ve been looking for a bit of a surprise. I know that I’ve never read anything you recced that I didn’t like, so this is why I turn to you...

So my humble request to you: could you rec one fic that’ll destroy me (I’m taking raw heartbreak here) and one that will heal parts of me I didn’t know needed healing? Just the links/titles, nothing else. And don’t tell me which is which 🤭 then I’ll make sure I don’t read the tags, themes or tropes.

Hi dear friend, it’s always great to hear from you! What a beautiful message, I was nodding along seconding everything you said. So happy to share this fandom space with you ❤️ and thank you for trusting my blog with this brave ask! I’m sharing a couple options below but let me know if you’ve read these already. Each fic here hit me differently and left a long-lasting impression so I hope they provide the right amount of heartbreak and healing that you’re looking for today. Enjoy!

Merlin Works in Mysterious Ways

How We Throw Our Shadows Down

Nightingale

Meet Me At Midnight

#asks #shut up Merlin #drarry recs #heartbreak & healing

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insert-witty-user-name-here · 6 months ago

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Lokius Fic Recs

Multi-chapter edition

And now sharing a few of my favorite multi-chapter Lokius fics! See my less than 10K season one Lokius fic recs here. Less than 10K season two fic recs here.

Loki & Mobius Reunite Post Season 2

The Storyteller Saga by kcscribbler- Loki and Mobius find their way back to each other after the events of season 2. If worldbuilding is your jam- this is the series for you! (154,464 words)

Between Comfort and Chaos by em13x- Loki and Mobius find their way back to each other after the events of season 2. (22,007 words)

Loki & Mobius Reunite Post Season 1

On a Wing and a Prayer by Lydiagwilt- Post season 1, Mobius is imprisoned by a sinister alternate TVA and prays to Loki for help. Loki hears him and begins a daring rescue attempt. A great mix of action and character drama. (33,842 words)

Following On a Wing and a Prayer, read Variation on a Theme. Director Mobius is struggling to rebuild the authoritarian TVA, especially with a megalomaniac Kang on the loose and the multiverse seeming to unravel at the seams. President Loki is back from the Void and ready to help… but can he be trusted? A beautiful Lokius adjacent story about trust and healing with plenty of mystery and worldbuilding. And Mobius variants my beloveds!) (40,060 words and counting)

never known how it broke me down by RunnyYolk - 5+1 times Loki hugs Mobius. Following a multiversal war, Loki and Mobius find their way back to one another and work to rebuild the TVA (hugs and romantic confessions ensue). (51,152 words)

Loki Series Season One Divergent

where the edge began by RunnyYolk - Canon divergent from season 1, episode 3. Loki follows Sylvie through the time door but it doesn’t result in the Roxxcart Divorce. The depth of the TVA's lies are unraveled from the inside instead as Loki and Mobius stumble their way into a real trusting partnership...and more. (189,207 words)

Heartbreak anthem by ylc- Canon divergent slightly from season one, episode 3. What if Loki and Mobius had been sleeping together before Roxxcart? Making the Roxxcart Divorce all the angstier? (With a hopeful ending). (25,051 words)

For the longest time by Mirilya - a Lokius Hanahaki fic. If you’re looking for some whumpy, angsty, unrequited and then requited love, this is the fic for you. Starring a helplessly in love Mobius. (30,032 words)

With You Through The Storms by DewdropReader - a post Thor 1 + Human AU. Mobius finds a scared cat in the middle of a rainstorm and takes him home to keep him safe. The cat sticks around and he and Mobius become close friends. One day Mobius comes home to find his cat has transformed into a person who claims to be Loki, God of Mischief. An oh-so-soft domestic everyone needs a hug/gets a hug Lokius love story. (62,081 words and counting)

Got your world in my hand by Mirilya - Post season one (or any season tbh) Mobius and Loki are living happily at the TVA. Now, it’s time for Mobius to visit Asgard. Sweeping romantic declarations ensue! (10,465 words)

Human AUs

What Makes A Good Man by chamel - CIA AU. Mobius just wants to bring down the notorious and prolific art thief he's been studying for years. He certainly doesn't expect said thief to be so handsome, or charming, or... helpful? (98,634 words)

Fit the Profile by WaterHorseyBlues- Detective AU. Loki and Private Detective Mobius work together to unravel a mystery after Loki is unexpectedly taken hostage one night. What at first seems like unmotivated violence turns into something much bigger than either Loki or Mobius could have expected. Could the answer lie in Loki's past? Or is something far more sinister going on? (77,786 words)

falling in love at a coffeeshop by thumbbird- Coffee shop AU. Talent Acquisition Director Mobius M Mobius has been going to Odinson’s coffeeshop for years. When he finds out his favorite barista Loki has left Odinson’s, he switches shops and romance ensues! (93,239 words)

On My Reading List

And here are two fics that I haven’t read yet but come highly recommended.

i bet on losing dogs by thumbbird

A Warning From The Gods (To Stay Away) by StompedKirbs

Again, I feel like these fics represent only a sliver of the brilliance that exists in this fandom. You can find more fic recs here.

Happy reading!

#back again with more fic recs #the BRILLIANCE in this fandom #Loki series #Lokius #Loki #mobius m mobius #Wowki #loki x mobius #mobius x loki #lokius fic rec #fic rec

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ryomens-vixen · 1 year ago

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Contains: NSFW, Stalking, Yandere tendencies, Knife play, Blood Kink, Predator and Prey Kink, Major Character d3ath, Angst, mentions of Gor3, P0rn w/plot, daddy kink, breeding kink.

Summary: You haven't heard from your Ex Boyfriend Suguru for a year, he deleted on all social media and even changed his number the day you broke up with him. Even Satoru and Shoko haven't heard from him....until you get a mysterious call on Halloween night.

(Small warning, I have not written a full story in a long long time please bare with me I know this is gonna suck 🥲.)

It all started just a year ago, Celebrating your 5th anniversary with your high school sweet Suguru Geto on Halloween night. You didn't think you'd be spending it at a Halloween party, but nonetheless in your skimpy Angel costume that showed just the right amount of skin didn't cease to catch the attention on lookers. As if your devilishly handsome boyfriend wasn't standing right next to you... No seriously he had a devil costume on. Of course it had to be at Satoru's house though, All the beautiful women, sloppy drunk men, the smell of booze and weed really gave it that "Satoru" party touch, even the whole gang was there, Nanami, Shoko, MeiMei, Haibara.

It was all great until everything went horribly wrong. Don't you remember? All of you had sat down to watch a good ole horror movie after all the party goers left. Satoru pushes the tape in while, whilst teasing you and Shoko about not getting too scared.

"Ya'Know if you get too scared you can hold onto me Shoko, Unlike (Y/N) she's got my better half."

"Oh, Shut Up Satoru, You're the one that screams like a girl."

"Hey!"

"Hah, And what does that make you, Satoru?"

While they bickered and argued amongst themselves you were playing more attention to the "movie" playing. It was a room- A familiar room in fact it looked an awfully lot like the guest bedroom upstairs. Giving it your full attention, two people came through the door feverishly kissing one another... It look a lot like...

"mmmf... Suguru"

Just like you remembered that night. You were yelling and screaming at Suguru in front of all of his friends as he begged, pleaded for you to believe that wasn't him and that he was with you the whole night. But that wasn't true- at some point of the night both for you were off chit chatting with your respective friend group. So technically he wasn't always with you that night, but nonetheless it was one of the worst nights of your life and just as equally worse for Suguru. Once you had storm out on him the room fell silent as Suguru Stood there trembling, his fist gripping at small square box buried in his pocket as your hurtful words were on repeat.

"You're cheating on me?! H...how cou- why.. Why wou- Suguru, I thought you loved me?!" You snapped at him, Your voice having a shriek like tone to it.

"I do love you, damn it! You know that isn't me!" Suguru reached out to you desperately. His face overtaken with panic and concern, disbelief in his eyes.

"Don't-!" You snatched your arm away from his firm grip.

"Baby... Mamas, come on that's not-"

"You're dead to me Suguru Geto, dead to me!"

While all of this was happening... A certain somebody just couldn't help, but smirk to themselves

And just like that your five year long relationship came to a close. Now here you are a year later on the same day reminiscing on what could've been. You never heard a thing from Suguru afterwards, I mean how could you? His number was immediately blocked along with all of his social medias. He never even showed up to your house to get his clothes out your shared closet, Maybe he truly didn't care for your relationship as much as you did, but no worries Satoru and Shoko helped box up his belongings sometime ago.

"Yo!"

Oh and You have a new roommate... Housemate. Satoru was so worried about you living alone after experiencing such a traumatic heartbreak that he sorta just moved himself in. You didn't mind it because it was such a familiar face that you got to see every day. Satoru plopped onto the bed wrapping his arms around your waist to drag you into a spooning position as he kissed the side of your head. Completely knocking you out of your train of thought all of your thoughts of Suguru washed away in an instant.

Did I forgot to mention that Satoru was also your knew boy toy? He was there you throughout the entire grieving process almost as if he couldn't believe Suguru would cheat on you. Maybe this was all happening too fast, Maybe there was a reason for Satoru to jump straight into action, Maybe you don't want to think about how suspicious it was, but it's nice to have someone to hold you this close on nights like these.

"Hey! pay attention to me damn it! Heh, what's going on in that pretty little head of yours?" You were so trapped in your head again not noticing Satoru was practically eating away at your neck by how bruised and wet it was, until he spoke up.

"Oh, Toru.. I- I'm sorry I was just thinking about-"

"Him again? Pfft- Babe, Listen there's no need to worry about Suguru anymore. He did something so unspeakable to a beautiful girl like you. Besides if I were him, don't you think you'd be married by now?"

You were rendered speechless, satoru always new how to shut down those thoughts of Suguru. He was right, he did cheat on you after all so why spend Halloween night mopping around about it? Maybe it's time to have a little fun.

As soon as the bedroom began to fill with moans, Satoru smashing his lips against yours, hands slipping underneath the Halloween themed night gown you wore, firmly gripping the fat of your ass while grinding his stuff bulge against your clothed pussy. Suddenly the doorbell rang more than likely it was some trick or treating going on, but they could wait right? No, the second Satoru took his shirt off the doorbell rang again cause satoru to let out a frustrated groan.

"Sounds like somebody needs to go pass out candy." you teased, Giving him a quick kiss beife he left.

"Fine- But you better not go anywhere I'm not done with you~" And with a wink he left , leaving you equally as frustrated.

Rolling over in bed you grabbed your phone off the night stand to check up on Shoko. It's been a few weeks since you've heard from her, maybe she was wrapped up in her college studies? That would make sense if it hadn't been for utahime. You tried calling her too, but the phone just went straight to voicemail too. Maybe they broke up? Changed their numbers? No that doesn't sound like either of them. Meimei would have told you by now if that was the case. Something just isn't right about all of this maybe you should ask Satoru? Speaking of him what's taking so long?

As you were about to get up to check on him, your phone rang- an unknown number was calling, maybe it was shoko? You answered.

"Hello?"

"Hey, I don't know if I dialed the right number, but is this Shoko?"

"Huh? Who is this? A friend of hers? I haven't heard from her either, I'm sorry you have the wrong number though."

"Yeah, Shoko and I were really close. I just need someone to talk too."

"Well... How about you tell me you name first, and when I can get in contact w-"

"No, (Y/N) I want to fuckin talk to you!"

There was a brief moment of silence you could almost hear has fast your heart pounded against your chest, how your stomach twists and churns, throat becoming quite dry, blood rushing with adrenaline. Maybe this was Satoru pulling a Halloween prank on you? Instead of getting a treat maybe this is the trick? But that wouldn't make any sense he was passing out candy to the kids at the... At the door.

"You better now hang up this phone, (Y/N) unless you want to see your little boyfriend again."

That was enough fuel to send the fear of God throughout your body, panic ensued, you walked around the house for any sight of Satoru only to find that the front door was left wide open. There was blood on the welcome home mat with a scattered bucket of candy. All you could do was stand there fight or flight beginning replaced with freeze in an instant as a the fear that ran through your body was now washed over with dread.

"W.. Where's Toru? Wh- When he comes back he's definitely going to kick your ass! Who are you! "

"Poor, Poor Satoru. I guess all those muscles didn't help much. Now I'm sick you asking me all these fucking questions-"

With that the phone hung up, the door immediately closed from behind and in front you was a masked person, dressed as a famous movie slasher named Ghostface. Taking a step back you nervously laughed somewhere in you thought this was a prank Satoru was pulling just to scare you like the old days, but another part of you was screaming that this wasn't just a prank. Everything was confirmed once the mystery person dropped their phone, yanking the mask off revealing long disheveled black hair, depressed eyes, dark circles, dry but somehow plump lip, those broad shoulders.. It's almost like your body yearning to reach out to him, but your heart aches at the sight of Suguru.

"Geto..." Your voice hitched when Suguru snapped back at you with venom in his voice.

"Don't you dare call me that-" Suguru pitched the bridge of his nose inhaling then letting go as if he was trying to calm himself down. "(Y/N)...its Su-gu-ru you know this, Doll. Now how about you answer a question for me?" The step he took forward was absolutely hair-raising, causing you to take a few steps back yourself. We're you scared? Hell yes? The Suguru before you who once looked like he wouldn't hurt a fly let alone you. Now he looks so gloomy and his voice was so unnerving every word he spoke had a hint of coldness to it sending you and uneasy feeling straight to your gut.

"Let's start with Satoru, Since you were so quick to let him get in your pants, in our bed, why is that!? Huh? You care about him so much maybe you were the one cheating on me?"

"Now you know that's not true Ge-!" He lunged forward at you swiping the knife he hid across your cheek. Again frozen in place after feeling the sharp pain, raising a hand to feel for a wound only to be hit with a stinging sensation met with a wet warm feeling against your hand. This has to be a nightmare, the red that coats your hand did indeed confirm that this was no night this was real and... This definitely wasn't a prank. Your Horrified gaze met his bone chilling gaze, watching him bring the knife to his mouth licking your blood off of it.

"Taste good, Doll face... Now talk or you'll end up like your stupid little boyfriend and Shoko."

What did he do? Why Shoko? What did he do to Shoko and Satoru? All these questions ran through your head a thousand miles per hour barely being able to think straight.

"G- S.. Suguru I never cheated on you, I loved you, You're the one that cheated on me and you know it!" You shouted to him.

"Tsk, tsk, tsk- I never cheated on you, you bitch! *inhale* *Exhale* I'm sorry baby, I didn't mean that. You're not a bitch- you're just confused. How about we play a little game? It's called Trick or Treat, but we play it my goddamn way." Suguru aggressively grabbed your wrist with an almost bruising grip, pulling you towards the back of the house where he'd turn the patio light on for you to see none other than Satoru himself. Tied up in one the chair, mouth duct taped, the front of his hair now red with his own blood and a pumpkin basket in his lap. You watched in horror as he picked Satoru's head up hearing him wince in pain.

"Here's how it's gonna go, He has two options either he tells the truth about that fuckin night, or he ends up just. Like. Poor. Shoko. And You my sweetheart pick Trick or Treat and I'll let this spoiled blue eyed piece of shit go."

"Oh.. And don't try to call the police I already cut the phone line." He said coldly, while yucking the tape off of satoru's mouth.

"Toru... W-what is he talking about?"

"Baby, look- I don't know, we haven't heard from this guy in a year, Heh This poorly package piece of shit has clear-" Satoru winced in pain again once Suguru's fist connected with his head.

"How about you use that pretty little mouth for something more useful than talking shit? Hm? Like telling the truth. Trust me if I got it out of Shoko what makes you time I won't get it out of you?"

"Please stop this is crazy! Just- just tell me?!"

"You want the truth, (Y/N)?! Well I'll tell you EXACTLY what Shoko told me-"

"Suguru.. Wait don't-"

"Or what?! She'll find how what a real piece of work you are? How you ditched your own party, had Shoko put a black wig on you-"

"Shut up!"

"How she helped doll you up to look like me?!"

"Suguru shut the fu-"

"Threw on some contacts for the added affect, took some cheap whore up stairs, taped it-"

"You knew I wanted her first!"

"And the cat is out of the fuckin bag! So what is it gonna be, baby? Trick.. Or fucking treat?"

All you could do was stand there in disbelief watching Suguru become more crazed by the minute, and Satoru become more frantic as he looked at you with pleading eyes.

"You... You didn't Toru.. You didn't-"

"Tell her, ToRu"

"Damn it, Yes! I did- I did! But Suguru knew goddamn well I wanted you first, I always wanted you, but you still fell for him."

"What are you 12?! Oh that's rich, yeah I knew you did, but you knew I liked her too. I gave you the option of sharing her, but you're such a greedy stubborn little shit that you just can't stand the thought of sharing your toys? How's that for a fuckin analogy?! I'm waiting (Y/N) Trick or Treat!?"

"(Y/N), Baby, don't pick please!"

"TRICK OR TREAT!?"

"Please, (Y/N) he's fuckin Crazy!"

The whole situation was so overwhelming like you had no time to think, of course you wanted to be mad at Satoru, he literally ruined your entire relationship, but that wasn't something you'd want him dead about. Treat? Maybe if you picked treat he won't hurt him, you thought to yourself.

"I'm running out of Patiences, Doll!"

"(Y/N), DON'T PICK TRE-!"

"TREAT! TREAT SUGURU!"

There was an ominous silence between the tree of you, then a smirk appeared across Suguru face and it sent a chill down you spine. "Good Girl" Suguru said with a menacing tone. Satoru started to panic, shaking his head repeatedly saying no as Suguru tossed the basket from his lap, grabbing Satoru by his hair again, then jabbed the knife he held directly into his abdomen, continuously stabbing into him until he was completely gutted.

You screamed in terror begging Suguru to stop in hopes of getting him to listen to reason, but Suguru was far beyond reasoning. He was completely gone, where oh where could the old Suguru had gone? Oh that's right- Today, on this very night a year ago where you stormed out on him, shattered his soul, and took his beating heart with you. No you had to reason to cry- all those nights he cried, all the times he stalked you at work, all the times he snuck into your house to watch you sleep only to see you in bed with his best friend? You shattered this man, no you killed the old Suguru.

"Sugu, Sugu, Please Stop, please stop, oh god.. Toru-" you weeped while holding onto Suguru from behind. Stopping mid-swing at the sound of the nickname you gave him. With a smirk on his face again Suguru turned his attention to you and your delicate arms gripping his torso.

"Hmph, would'ya look at that? I guess it's time for my "Trick"-"

The creaking of the kitchen table accompanied by your pretty cries filled Suguru's ears with complete and utter joy as he pounded his cock, into your cock drunken pussy. He loved watching you squirm underneath him, oh how he missed the sound of you moaning for him, vice gripping the fat of your hips , watching your hands wonder desperately for something to hold onto. Hell if you could even think at the moment you would have thought Suguru was hate fucking you.

"Fuckfuckfuck, I knew it, ugh... I knew she missed me, Daddy missed you too." He reached between your legs pressing his fingers against your already swollen clit to vigorously rub circles on it while bullying your pussy. He loved hearing the squelching sounds your soaking wet pussy made it's most like "she" was talking to him and of course he'd definitely respond back.

"A-Ah S- Sugu! Too Much!" your words forced out of your throat by another bliss filled moan joining the unexpected, but intense orgasm causing your body to jolt, your walls squeezed around his cock, as your juices shot out of you drenching his abdomen. "You dirty girl, Squirting all over me, do it again, do it again, again again for me~" Suguru continued on not giving you the slightest of breaks he wanted to fuck you until your mind was mush, until your pussy "remembered" the shape of of cock down to the veins, maybe he could fuck you until you completely forgot about this night?

But you were moaning so much it began to annoy him, he could barely hear the sounds you were making below. "shhh, shh, how about being a- Mmmf, little more quieter- Ugh-Ah-fuck trying to hear what my babygirl has to fuckin say~" his harsh words went straight to your cockdrunk head, then straight down to your core, and before you could think of utter a response he quickly put a rough hand over your mouth to muffle you. "Listen.. Listen to my baby girl, Ooo fuck yeah, talk to daddy."

He gazed down at the way his cock slide in and out of you, his face scrunched up biting the inside of his bottom lip. Both of you listening to the sopping wet sounds "I love you too baby, yeah, you gonna milk daddy? Milk daddy for all he's worth?" God this all felt so wrong, but it also felt so fucking good, felt so right. You were in just as much ecstasy as him if not, more especially with the way his pace quickened the smacking of skin to skin became louder, a but rougher actually, you could hear the way Suguru grunted and growled, throwing his head back, his grip now bruising your plump thighs. "FuckmeFuckmeFuckme, pretty girl, so tight baby, you keep pulling me back in- Oh Fuck.."

Your were so close to cumming again until he abruptly stopped leaving his cock deep in your cervix. Suddenly he leaned forward laying his entire weight on you, bringing his arms around you in what seemed like a hug while his head rested in your soft breasts, almost feeling your beating heart against his own.

"Su.. *Pant* P.. Please I need-"

"You really thought you could break up with me? Me?! And think that this sweet...candied pussy wouldn't miss daddy?" Suguru was completely out of his right mind, drunk on your pussy. I mean who wouldn't be? He spent a whole year with you, without being deep in your guts, without your touch, your voice, your sweet beautiful moans. Suddenly you felt his arm tighten around you in a bear hug "Listen.. Listen to how much she misses. her. fuckin. Daddy-" each word was met with a harsh, nerve racking thrust of his hips.

Suguru wasn't going to stop anytime soon, no matter how much you came, dug crescents into his back, drew blood, screamed, cried tears of pleasure. No he wasn't stopping anytime soon not until he was completely milked, until his seed was so deep that you had to have his baby, but until he pumps you full of his seed this deranged man wasn't stopping.

He came yet again inside of you- what was this the 4th time? Suguru and you were desperately panting for air until he felt him move his hips again. You could just feel his heavy breath again your ear this time. Over the sloppy sound of skin to skin contact the last thing you heard Suguru say before uttering a word yourself was "I wanna Fuckin Tear You Apart"

Tag list: @gojos-thot-patrol @biscuitsngravie @midnightshade @blkkizzat @candycandy00 @satkuna @callm3senpaii

I had too much fun with the dialogue. Happy Halloween🎃👻🍬

#jujutsu kaisen #jjk #jujustsu kaisen x reader #jjk x reader #geto x reader #kinktober #suguru geto #geto suguru x you #getou suguru x reader #geto angst

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elizabebabe · 4 months ago

Text

𝐥𝐨𝐯𝐞 𝐢𝐬𝐥𝐚𝐧𝐝 ೀ 𝐬𝐭𝐮𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐨𝐥𝐨

𝐢𝐧 𝐰𝐡𝐢𝐜𝐡: you're scouted for love island and you and your manager think of it as a business opportunity but what happens when you actually want to find love?, you're in for the summer of your life.

𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐭𝐞𝐫: 2

𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬: use of y/n!

𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐝 𝐜𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐭: 4.5k!

𝐭𝐡𝐨𝐮𝐠𝐡𝐭𝐬: moments in this cringe me out but it isn't love island without cringe is it? Still introduction vibes so i'm sure it'll get smoother as we go on, basing the structure off love island uk s5 since it's my fav, but they are american!

“say hello to cade!”

you all cheer trying to give him a solid entrance, he walks around the corner shouting “what’s up girls?!”, you feel yourself cringe, you couldn’t tell if it was because of him or the environment you're in.

he walked down from the double doors and stood next to ariana. he was taller than her, had blonde hair, black trunks, and a few tattoos on his right arm, i mean you thought he was attractive sure, but you quickly realize it’s going to take a lot for you to step forward.

you're so used to getting to know someone before putting your cards on the table so a “what’s up.” isn’t going to do him justice.

he stood confidently with his hands on his hips, observing you all one by one.

“how are you feeling today?” ariana asks, looking up at him.

“i'm good. this is cool! you guys are all so beautiful. this is like a dream.” he quickly replies, you turn to look at the other end of the hearts, noticing abby’s excitement you can tell she quite likes him.

“so cade, "love island" is all about finding your perfect match. it all starts right here with a decision about who you want to couple-up with, but first it’s up to the girls to decide if they're interested in you.”

ariana looks at the girls then back up to him, “nerve wracking huh?”

“a little bit.” he replies nervously.

“girls, if you like what you see, please step forward.” there is a long pause, a moment of silence before abby steps off her heart and moves forward.

ariana cheers, “abby, why did you step forward?”

abby squeals, “oh my god!!, for one i really liked how he came in with lots of energy, he seems like a talker which i looove, and he’s like….really hot.”

“okay, cade you can choose to couple up with abby orr, you can couple up with any of the four girls that didn’t step forward, what will it be?”

he takes a little time to think, redoing what he did when he first walked in, analyzing all of the girls.

“abby, i want to couple up with abby.” he says proudly, abby almost jumps up and down with excitement.

she cheers in response, “yay!!”

you all clap as cade walks over to abby’s heart, they share a hug and he stands next to her.

“so we have our first love island couple of the year…cade and abby.”

“abby, how are you feeling?, ariana adds.

“eee!, so happy, he's definitely my type so i’m excited!” she says looking back and forth between the two, he smiles from her comments, his cheeks turning a red hue, he seems to feel comfortable enough to slither his hand onto her waist.

ariana smiles, “good, cade?”

“i’m feeling good.” he squeezes her side, “she's beautiful and seems really cool so yeah, excited.”

“clair, why didn’t you step forward?” ariana questions, projecting her voice, making eye contact, you appreciated her hosting “abilities”.

“i need someone chill, and he also gives me the vibe he would break my heart.” she giggles delivering the last bit of her sentence. she looks over to you, maybe wanting to feel validated for feeling that way off first glance. you nod at her, giving her a smile.

“damn..” he says, putting his hand on his heart dramatically, then putting it back on abby’s waist.

“well kaia, leah, you both like heartbreakers, what happened?”

they both look at eachother, “he's cute but i just like someone more mysterious, quieter…you know?” leah softly responds.

“kaia?”

“i think i have to agree with leah, he has a lot of energy, which is great just not for me.” kaia hesitates, not trying to sound like an ass.

“it seems like you guys have really similar types..” ariana says ominously. they both laugh and look at each other.

“alright, are we ready for the next boy?”

you all cheer, “alright everyone, please meet romeo.”

he walked out the big brown doors, the first thing you noticed was his green shorts on his tanned skin, he was a brunette and his hair was shaggy. you definitely felt a tiny butterfly.

“this place is sick,” he says softly.

he walks over to ariana, a smirk present on his face.

you fiddled with your bikini, he caught stolen glances from you every once in a while.

“romeo, welcome to love island.”

“look at these gorgeous women in front of you.” she kindly adds.

“they are all beautiful.” he says trying his best to project his voice.

“as you can see, we already have one couple, cade and abby, then these four single ladies.”

“leah, kaia, clair and y/n.” she continued.

“you can couple up with any of these ladies, including abby who is already in a couple.”

you notice abby shaking her head then looking up towards cade.

“but before we give you that choice, let’s see if any of the girls are interested enough to step forward.” he silently nods.

“okay ladies, if any of you are interested in romeo, please step forward.”

there is another pause, you all anticipating eachothers moves, you were definitely interested but this would be a bold move from you.

your taking too long is all you can think in your head when you notice leah stepping forward, seconds later kaia. you step forward, your legs taking over and moving without your brain's permission.

he looks shocked, “wow, three gorgeous women have stepped forward for you, what are you thinking?”

“i’m speechless, really, i don’t, i don’t know.” he stutters

“that is pretty shocking, let's go in order here, leah, why did you step forward?”

“i think he’s super cute and i've felt him eyeing me up so i would assume it's mutual.” she says it in a “rubbing it in your face” tone. causing your eyes to discreetly roll.

“kaia”?”

“me and leah really do have the same type.” she giggles “ he seems quite quiet but he also has that “bad boy” aesthetic going on.”

“are you a bad boy romeo?”

“i don’t think so..” he says bashfully.

“lastly, y/n? i noticed your hesitation, what's that about?”

you scoff, “well i thought he was attractive, i was just a bit nervous.”

"make sense,

alright, romeo, who would you like to couple up with?”

“i think y/n intrigues me quite a bit.” he says quickly, your heart feels like it bumped out of your chest. you look down to get a look at leah, she looks pissed.

“okay, go get her!” he walks closer to you, you open your arms for a embrace, you almost stick together from the sweat beads on both of your chests,

he puts his arm around you making your stomach flip.

“you guys look great together.”

“thank you!” you both say at the same time making you and him giggle.

“you alright leah?”

“just fine ariana, thank you.”

ariana quickly moves on, “kaia?”.

“all good here.” she smiles

“great.”

⋆˚｡⋆୨୧˚

the coupling went on for a while, a guy named robert came out next, immediately snatching clair up, she seemed really happy about the coupling.

cyrus ran out next, he had a lot of energy but he seemed to wear it better than cade having kaia and leah stepping forward, he ended up picking leah, which seemed to be a bit of a let down for kaia but she quickly let it go remembering there is still one boy left.

aidan being the last guy to come out, he seemed more mature than the other guys, whether it was his mannerisms or the way he spoke, he ended up stealing leah, having cyrus couple up with kaia.

“congratulations, we now have our five couples,”

you all clap and cheer, “these couples you just made will decide how long you stay in the villa.” you look at romeo, he smiles at you.

“in your couples, you’ll spend time getting to know each other, taking on challenges together, living together and even sharing a bed together.”

“in eight weeks time, the public will be voting for their favorite couple. that couple stands to win a massive $50,000 cash prize and be crowned the winners of ‘love island’ 2024.

but don’t forget this is love island, and the path to true love is never that simple. there may be a few surprises around every corner, and the first surprise might be sooner than you think.”

you all laugh nervously, sharing smiles with the person next to you.

“i will see you very soon.” ariana says ominously,

⋆˚｡⋆୨୧˚

the rest of the islanders greet each other, but you and romeo seem to be in your own bubble.

“how are you?”

you wipe your arm, “sweaty.”

he scoffs, “me too.”

“i didn’t expect you to pick me.” you scoff.

“why not.”

“i don’t know.” you say awkwardly.

“so, i “intrigue” you?” you mock his tone from earlier, he puts his hand behind his head, “pretty much.”

robert comes up to hug you, followed by the rest of the guys you never properly interacted with, you were able to greet them with a few words before romeo interrupted, hoping to have a more private conversation with you.

⋆˚｡⋆୨୧˚

you both laid on a day bed overlooking the pool, some of your fellow islanders were already dipping their feet into the pool while having conversation.

ironically “it’s so pretty.” were the first words to leave his mouth, you both admire the villa while enjoying a moment of comfortable silence.

“you know what i hate?” he says rolling his head back to get a better look at you, you can’t help but smile.

a quiet “what?” is the only thing that can leave your lips when he is staring into your eyes, he adjusts himself making the bed squeak, “small talk.”.

“me too!!” you exclaim.

he chuckles, “okay lets play a game then, rapid fire.”

“okay…, i'm assuming you’re gonna quickly ask me questions..?”

“pretty much, how old are you?”

“i’m 21.” you answer quickly, “you?”

“23, job go.”

“i own my own business." you hesitate, "sell my own designs, it's whatever.”

“are you kidding? that’s sick.”

“thank you.” you shyly reply, “what about you.?”, you change your position on the bed from laying down to sitting upright.

“i work with a bunch of animals, my dad has owned a pet store since i was a kid so i kinda just grew up around them.”

hearing about his job excites you, you like someone that can be passionate about their career.

“that’s really cu–” you attempt to reply but you’re interrupted by the sound of heels coming up from behind you, it was leah.

“do you mind if i pull romeo?”

“it’s not up to me.” you quickly respond.

he starts sitting up, leaning in to give you a hug, you hesitantly reciprocate.

“i’ll see you later, okay?” he says whispering into your ear, he pulls back from the hug fully standing up leaving you on the day bed.

⋆˚｡⋆୨୧˚

shortly after your interrupted conversation, abby and clair asked you to join them exploring the villa. you obviously say yes and get off the day bed, quickly following them inside.

to the left of the ‘backyard’ doors is a living space, followed by a pull down bed with a neon “dog house” sign. you all laugh when you first notice it, abby throws around jokes, “where cade will be sleeping if he pisses me off.” making you and clair giggle.

you turned around going to the door on the other side of the room, inside were seven beds lined up against the wall, “holy shit!” abby says from behind you, she walks ahead of you touching the first bed in the room, then looking at its bench to notice “abby.” and “cade” signs at the end of it, she jumps on it.

“clair, you'll probably be down here next to me.” you say excitedly, she chuckles. you and clair walk down to the fourth and fifth bed noticing your names, you both sit on your assigned beds.

“can you believe life right now?” abby says, even from “far away” her voice is still easily heard.

“not at all.” clair comments, looking at you, “do you think the other girls are done with their chats?” abby comments. “why?” you respond, “we need to have a girl chat.” you look at clair and she looks at you with an unreadable expression on her face.

“about our couples?, duh.” abby continues.

⋆˚｡⋆୨୧˚

you and the rest of the girls decided to head upstairs to find a place to have ‘girl chat’. you walked behind clair, right up the stairs are the showers, bathrooms but most importantly the makeup room, you all piled in taking a seat at a vanity.

“this place is so fucking beautiful.” abby states, starting the conversation as usual.

“so how was everyone's chats? me and cade got surprisingly deep?” she adds, almost saying her last few words like a question.

“i mean that's good, does he match your energy like you wanted?” kaia chimes in curiously.

“oh 1000%, i already feel lucky to have already met someone that ticks so many of my damn boxes.”

“don’t forget it’s day one, you have to get to know everyone else.” clair states, taking leah and abby by surprise.

“damn, didn’t know you were like that.” leah says, flicking her hair behind her head.

“i mean she's right.” you add.

“clair, how is your sitch.” kaia questions her.

“it’s good, we only had a quick chat but he seems chill, i'm just not sure yet.” “why?” abby expresses genuine confusion, “you guys seem like a good match.”

“yes on paper.” she rebuttals, “but i don’t know him yet, i’m typically a grower so it'll take me some time.”

you all nod at her comment.

“so.., kaia, leah, hows your ‘sticky’ situation.” abby asks nonchalantly.

“well, my convo with cyrus went well,

obviously we're attracted to the same guy so i'm not going to hold it against her when she inevitably talks to him.” kaia quickly but carefully responds.

“wait..you haven't talked to cyrus yet leah?” abby asks, trying to get more information.

“he was talking to kaia so i just let it be, was able to pull romeo earlier though.”

abby and clair quickly look at you with those ‘sad’, ‘puppy’ eyes, you gave them a sarcastically confused look in return.

“how did it go?” kaia asks her genuinely.

“it was good, we have some things in common, i’ll definitely talk to him again, maybe later tonight?”

“don’t forget to talk to cyrus later, i want to see how he’ll move.” kaia persists.

“how was your chat y/n?” abby quickly takes back the conversation. hearing your name quickly snaps you out of your zone out.

“it was good, we didn’t get to talk much before he was pulled.” you say awkwardly, the whole room going silent for a bit.

“you know who needs to talk tonight?” abby quickly says, breaking the silence.

“you two.” she says pointing at leah and you.

you both look at each other, “the tension is obvious and i'm not having my new girl friends hate each other,

especially over a man.” abby continues.

“i don’t hate her.” you say quickly after hearing abby, you fidgeted with your bikini, suddenly it felt hotter than it already did.

“annnyyyway..” abby drags out the word, trying to get rid of the awkwardness, “leah, how's aidan?”

her face scrunches up and you can already tell what she’s gonna say, “he isn’t for me, too serious, and lowkey boring..”

“yikes.” abby responds.

“but he expressed interest in clair, so maybe..?” clair’s head immediately snaps up,

“seriously?”

“oooooo.” you say teasingly, abby joins in with you.

“stop it.”, you notice her flusteredness.

⋆˚｡⋆୨୧˚

you were called to the beach hut for your first confessional, you were nervous to be in front of a camera again,

yes there were cameras all around you but at least they were hidden.

you walked in and immediately plopped down in the chair, the lighting looked a bit harsh, you wondered if it was flattering or not,

all you had to do was answer a few questions from the producers, easy.

“how are you feeling in your couple?” a deep voice from behind the camera questions.

“uhm.” you took time to think about what you wanted to say,

“good, he makes me feel nervous, which i think is a good sign?”

“how do you feel about sharing a bed in your couple?”

“i haven’t shared a bed with a man in a while so i'm a little nervous, but it’ll be fine.” you quickly respond, trying not to sound like a moron on national television.

you adjust your bikini as the next question is dished out to you.

“how do you feel about leah?”

you awkwardly smile, “she seems nice, we obviously got off on the wrong foot earlier so that's unfortunate. but i'll talk to her, one on one, later, hopefully clear the air.”

⋆˚｡⋆୨୧˚

after answering a few beach hut questions it was time to unpack your suitcase, you walk up the stairs and down the hall to find you and all the girls' suitcases lined up against some closets.

you find the one with the big “y/n” on it, grabbing it and crouching on the floor to open it up. that’s when you remember why you’re here, your designs, not for romeo or the friends you were making,

but to show off your designs.

you think about what rhia would be saying right now, “bitch, get it together, this is work.”, it makes you giggle,

now you’re sitting on the floor reminiscing, missing rhia and your family. that's when the rest of the girls pile in, interrupting your thoughts, you now think about how many times you’ve been interrupted today.

“unpacking time whoo!” abby exclaims, hyping the rest of the girls up.

clair comes next to you, seeming to notice your somber expression, “you okay?”

“i’m great, thank you.” you smile at her and she reciprocates it. now it’s chaos, suitcases being thrown open, clothes being snagged onto hangars.

“what are you guys sleeping in tonight?” kaia asks.

the girls talk over each other at once, “a t-shirt.” is what you reply with, “that's it?”

“no, oh my god.” you quickly say with a giggle.

“i was about to say.” she chuckles over her words.

⋆˚｡⋆୨୧˚

evening meant it was time to get ready again, which meant getting out of those bikinis and into something else, you didn’t realize how much your feet hurt until you peeled your wedges off.

you were sweaty and sticky all day so you decided you needed to shower before changing into something clean.

you had a quick, soapy, rinse, since you felt awkward, the shower door was clear except for the part that just barely covered your bits.

you quickly put your towel on, deciding to lotion up in the makeup room where the rest of the girls were. minus the tension from this morning you felt really comfortable with them all.

you lotioned up and put on a pair of undies and a bra, the dressing room and the makeup room were connected causing girls to walk back and forth while having conversation, you heard laughter, the sounds of zippers, heels, for some reason it made you really happy, you chose to sit next to clair at the vanities,

just like earlier. she was appreciative.

you did your hair and makeup at the vanity, the lighting was really nice making you feel extra confident, you decided to wear one of your favorite designs, the girls in the room hyping you up bringing a smile to your face, you adjusted yourself in the outfit making sure everything sat perfectly, grabbing some heels that complimented the rest of your outfit and slipping them on.

you walked in front of a wall length mirror, posing a little,

you looked gorgeous.

⋆˚｡⋆୨୧˚

you all walked outside, this was the first time you saw it at night and it was beautiful, a little chilly but the fairy lights above the villa made up for it, they were even in the trees!

the kitchen was tucked in a corner between when you first walk out and the day beds, everybody slowly picked off, abby and cade going for a convo first, followed by clair pulling aidan for a chat, you gave her a thumbs up as she walked off with him, six of you still stood in the kitchen, you decided it was time to take leah off for a conversation.

you grabbed a glass off the counter that was filled with champagne and walked over to her, “wanna have our chat?”

“sure.” she replied taking a sip out of her glass, you both walk over to the fire pit a bit away from the kitchen.

“how are you?” you start.

“good.” she replies back

“you look nice.” you compliment her, she was wearing a silver glittery dress with her hair in a bun,

she really did look nice.

“thanks, you too.” you nod your head appreciatively, not sure if you should bring up the tension from this morning or ask her to forget about it, you both sit in silence not sure what the other will say.

“sorry..” she says quietly

you snap your head to her, “what was that?” you ask genuinely.

“i’m sorry.” she states it this time.

“why?” you quickly ask.

“i was a sour puss about romeo picking you over me, i shouldn’t have.”

you look at her, then at romeo who was chatting in the kitchen.

“sour puss?” you giggle, you’ve heard the phrase but never heard it come out of someone's mouth before.

“yeah.” she chuckles.

“it’s fine, really, i don’t want us to have any tension or anything, the energy has been so good between us girls.”

“i agree.” she stands up, you follow suit bringing her into a hug. you hear cheering from somewhere, pulling out of the hug, you look around noticing abby and cade, sitting on bean bags that were arranged a little away from the pool.

it makes you and leah laugh.

⋆˚｡⋆୨୧˚

a little after your conversation with leah,

you, abby and kaia were chatting at a swing placed on the right hand side of the villa. you and the girls didn’t even notice romeo approaching you, “can i steal you?”

you look over at him, he was wearing a black dress shirt, and gray pants, he looked nice.

“mhm.” you replied, getting ready to stand up but the girls did it before you. “we’ll go, you stay.” abby says, walking away with kaia as they continue the conversation you were just having.

“you good?” he questions, sitting on the ‘couch’ swing, it moves when he adjusts himself to face you.

“i’m great, feeling less shy, i guess?”

“i noticed you’re talking a lot more, i'm glad you’re comfortable.”

“me too, i was worried it would take a lot longer.” you go back to forth with him as you notice him observing you.

“you look really nice.”

“thank you..” you say shyly.

“so, how was your chat with leah?” you question, you remember leah telling you “it was good.” so you wondered how he would reply.

“it was nice, she's chill, we have a few things in common.”

“that’s cool.” you comment, not really knowing what to say next.

“how do you feel about sleeping later tonight?” he changes the subject.

“i’m fine with it, i’m actually already really tired.”

“it has been a long day to be fair.”

⋆˚｡⋆୨୧˚

you all gathered at the fire pit to play a game of truth or dare, the rules were simple, abby was at the head of the fire pit so she would start first, asking anyone ‘truth or dare’, when they finish their dare or their truth next they can pick any islander to continue the game.

you all sat comfortably around the fire, you sat opposite of abby, next to romeo and of course, clair.

“cade, truth or dare.” abby starts.

he laughs, “of course.” he says knowing she was gonna pick him.

“dare.” he says confidently.

“i dare you to give a lap dance to an islander of your choice.” she winks at him.

you all laugh and cheer after hearing the dare, he gets up putting his glass on the floor, he stands over abby, moving his hips back and forth, putting his leg behind her and gyrating in her face, you couldn’t stop laughing and you could tell everyone around you felt the same.

he stopped, sitting back down next to her, smirk on his face, grabbing his cup off the ground and taking a sip.

abby was shocked, you could tell because her mouth was basically on the floor, “that was too quick.” she complains.

once cade stops laughing, he looks around, not knowing who to choose, “my guy robert, truth or dare?”

robert scoffs, “truth.”.

“boooringgg.” cade shouts, “have you ever had a threesum?”

robert chokes a little on his wine, “yes..” he says shamefully, for some reason that shocks everyone.

“damn, my man!” cade exclaims, getting up to dap him up, abby playfully hits him on the arm, making him laugh and sit back down.

the laughter is interrupted by a ring, all of your faces slowly drop, nerves quickly setting in.

“was that you?” robert questions clair.

“i think it was.” she responds.

“i got a text!” clair shouts, “islanders, it’s time for the real games to begin, please welcome your new arrival.” she reads it out ominously, making all you look around at each other frantically.

your heart goes to your stomach, your mind racing with questions. you adjust your outfit and take another sip out of your glass.

clair continues, “#one out of three.”

“what does that even mean? abby asks, clearly confused.

seconds of silence later a brunette comes from behind the corner, “hi!” he says cheerily

clair looks at you knowingly, you quietly snicker.

everyone slowly stands up to greet him, you take your time adjusting yourself and taking a few more sips before having the courage to walk closer, he daps up the guys and hugs the ladies that have already come up to him, you notice his eyes, they look brown in the night light, his hair, his jawline, you feel flustered.

in your zoning out he already made his way through everyone, you were the only one left to greet, you smiled at him and he smiled back. your mic raised against your chest, rising with each deep and heavy breath.

he put his arms out, you did the same, sliding your manicured hands around his torso, making for a cuddly hug,

weirdly it felt just right.

who is this new islander?, find out next time on love island.

hope you enjoyed!

#zabe's finest pieces 👚#the sturniolo triplets #sturniolo triplets #christopher sturniolo #matthew sturniolo #chris sturniolo #matt sturniolo #chris x reader #matt x reader #zabebabe

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looneyleyle · 7 months ago

Text

the self-destructive habits of a hopeless romantic ~ j. hughes

synopsis: monetizing one's self-sabotaging habits, surprisingly, has its downfalls. one of them being leaving that one attractive hockey player that is an absolute gentleman who loves you with his whole entire heart.

warnings: self-sabotage, self-deprecation, angsty (but with happy ending)

word count: 3425 words

note: once again unedited but i wanted to get this one out there

???'s pov

time and time again, the world has seen the self destructive habits of humans. well, that makes it seem serious. the world has seen the countless missed opportunities due to a fear of another's reaction. the world has seen the blunders due to saving face. the world has seen the heartbreaks due to miscommunication. time and time again, the world has seen how people sabotage their own lives for the dumbest reasons.

esther graham was no different.

in fact, she capitalized on her ability to put herself into the worst emotional distress possible. every heartbreak produced a great work of literature that would nearly sell out in bookstores all over the northeast. she wasn't a new york times best seller by any means, but she was a small town writer from mont vernon, new hampshire. she made a name for herself during her time at hamilton college in their creative writing program. in her junior year of college, she published her first book, woes of a teenage failure, a novel following what could have been for a young college drop out named sophia. the book was a hit amongst her peers and professors, and by word of mouth, ended up selling 200 copies. the book, as ms. graham remarked, was her own "what-if" story, as she almost dropped out of college the beginning of her sophomore year.

and how do i know so much about ms. graham?

well, because i am ms. esther graham.

and i'm here to tell you all about the biggest blunder of my life.

after my first book, i hit major writing block. i would stare at my computer screen for hours just to delete the only three words that i could come up with. i would sit in coffee shops, pen in hand, ready for inspiration to strike, and yet, nothing. i was nearing the end of my college career, riding on the coattails of my first and only book's success, and couldn't figure out how to continue. my professors taught me plenty of ways to try and combat writer's block, but nothing worked.

until i met ryan. a devilishly handsome man all the way from the cheese state of wisconsin, who was meeting up with some college friends for the annual boston beanpot. we had our meet cute at a nearby pizza joint, in which i sat down and started chatting with him, thinking he was a publisher that i was supposed to meet with. after realizing my blunder when he had absolutely no idea what an anthology was, he asked if i wanted to join him and his friends at the beanpot, as one of their friends had cancelled, leaving them with an extra ticket.

ryan and i dated for four months. we would take turns traveling between my college in new york and his in wisconsin until eventually it became too much, or should i say, too little for him, and he broke it off. in my rage and complete depression from the breakup, i wrote my next hit, until the sun sets, a 142-page anthology of gut-wrenching poems, which was eventually integrated into hamilton college's curriculum for their young adult modern literature class. i was quite proud of that.

after that, i found myself yet again staring at blanks screens and empty notepads.

that is, until chloe. a beautiful new york native whom i had actually met while dating ryan. she was a hostess at a restaurant ryan and i would always go to. she was pursuing her masters in psychology, which gave me fascinating insights and tactics to use in my books. we were never officially together, but we had something for almost three months before she was whisked off by some californian named ella. i never saw her again, which prompted my next book, the ninth floor, a murder mystery following a closeted lesbian couple in 1940's hollywood (it was one of the girlfriends the whole time).

at this point, when i hit a creative block for the third time, i realized that i needed my heart or brain to be in absolute shambles in order to produce my best work. i needed to be at some sort of life crisis, and the easiest way to do so was to love another and let that love be ripped out of your life.

so, i began dating for the sake of my career. it was like i sought out the most manipulative, scummy people in the world who were able to get away with it just because they were attractive. over the course of a year, my first year out of college, i dated a total of three men and one woman, and poured my emotions out into a collection of short stories titled lavender.

and that was when i met jack.

i was in new jersey for a book signing at this little bookstore which, as it turns out, was right by the prudential center. as i left the bookstore, i was nearly run over by an overly excited man-child with a giant bag slung upon his shoulder.

"luke, watch out, you nearly killed that woman!" a voice yelled from where the man came from.

"i'm so sorry about that miss, my brother can get a bit overexcited sometimes." looking at the person talking to me, i found a young, very attractive brunet with the most adorable smile. i straightened myself up instinctively, wanting to appear presentable.

"no worries. if you don't mind me asking, what got him so riled up that he almost trampled me?" the man let out a laugh at my statement.

"of course, we owe you at least that much for your near-death experience. he just got nominated for the calder trophy." he explained, as if those words meant anything to me. seeing my blank stare, he clarified. "a rookie of the year award. we play for the new jersey devils." the boy in question came up and joined us, grinning ear to ear.

"ahhh, i see. i'm not a big hockey watcher, which i know is absolute blasphemy for someone who grew up in new hampshire." his jaw nearly dropped.

"you're from up here and don't like hockey? we have to change that." he exclaimed. in my peripheral vision, i could see his brother trying to hide his laughter at his brother's forwardness.

"ill have to come and watch a game sometime." i mused.

"we have a game coming up next week against the blue jackets. i could maybe snatch you a seat in exchange for your number." he proposed. his brother snorted at that, having to turn around to hide his obvious laughter. the man paid his brother no mind, just looking at me with a big smile on his face.

"trying to bribe me mister?"

"is it working?" i put my hand out and he immediately put his phone in my hand, adding my information into his contacts.

"esther? that's nice, you look like a esther." i quirked an eyebrow at him, but continued on anyways.

"and you? what should i call you?"

"call me yours. or jack, either works." the brother was doubled over on the floor at this point, jack finally acknowledging him by kicking him slightly, making him fall over.

"anyways, ms. esther, we have to get going, but ill see you next week at our game." he put out his hand for me to shake.

"you've got yourself a deal jack."

and just like that, jack and i started talking. his eagerness was cute, he texted me no more than ten minutes after meeting me. we talked every day, mainly on calls, asking each other questions and such to get to know each other.

and sure enough, the next week, i found myself back in new jersey watching the brothers play. i assumed jack was going to be some sort of benchwarmer or something, but that didn't seem to be the case. despite my lack of hockey knowledge, i could tell the boy was good, and he had quite a fan base if the amount of women wearing his jersey meant anything. and i felt severely out of place, simply wearing a grey sweater and jeans, unlike everyone else in the stands, decked out in red.

after that, i found myself going to a couple more hockey games, for no particular reason. jack would try to explain the game over video calls and our occasional coffee meet ups, but i couldn't for the life of me wrap my head around it. why do they all get off the ice every five seconds? and what the hell is offsides?? jack always laughed at my confusion, telling me that i'd get it one day.

we spent a couple months thriving off of video chats and once-in-a-blue-moon hangouts, until i got a job as an editor for a local paper. i was good at editing, always having good grammar and an eye for design, but it wasn't my dream. despite it not being my dream, i needed a stable income, and fast. my mind was devoid of ideas, and it didn't seem like that would change any time soon.

plus, it helped that this stable income happened to be in new york city, putting me a lot closer to a certain someone. and, with me being closer, that certain someone would pop on by a lot more than before. and eventually, chinese takeout dinners turned into staying the night, which turned into coming up for the weekend, which turned into the line of friendship being crossed into something more.

and then, i made the dumbest mistake of my life.

i let him go.

now, i know what you must be thinking. he must have done something wrong, he must have cheated or neglected me or done something so completely unforgivable that i would just throw away the most amazing thing in my life. and i wish i was here to tell you that was the truth.

but it wasn't.

jack was nothing but a gentleman, and i was just a broken girl doing the only thing i knew how to do: leave. i like to tell myself that it was for my career, that i needed to write another book, that i wasn't fulfilled in my job and that i was putting myself first by doing this, but i was perfectly content with my life. i was an editor for a major publishing company, i started writing little happy poems about my mundane life with jack, and wanted nothing more. i had no reason to run away. i just woke up in his bed one day and realized that i wanted to spend the rest of my life with him, and i couldn't accept that. i had gotten so used to leaving people that i assumed that they would leave me if i hadn't done so first, and i couldn't lose the one real thing i ever had.

so naturally, my self-destructive, self-sabotaging self let him go, the exact opposite of what i wanted.

and when i got back to my apartment after writing jack a confusing and half-assed letter, i cried. i cried and cried and cried, and i always wrote about characters crying until they couldn't anymore, but that day, i couldn't find the end to my tears. for hours tears would either slowly leak or violently pour from my eyes, and they never did end, not even when i passed out on my couch from exhaustion.

and after a week, i was expecting to pick myself up and start writing my next best seller, coping with my writing. but i sat there, and my florescent computer screen simply sat there, staring back at me. and when i left my apartment for a change of scenery, the blank pages of my notebook mocked me. i flipped through past works, all of them being little poems about jack, and the waterworks continued, right in the middle of a starbucks.

after a week and four days, i couldn't take it. i had to make things right, i had to at least see him. it always worked in the books, right? someone makes a huge mistake, they break up, they see each other again and realize they're both miserable without each other and then get back together and live happily ever after.

when i knocked on the door to jack's apartment, i was met with an unimpressed looking luke. at the sight of him, the waterworks started up again.

"you're an idiot, you know that?" i nodded furiously at this, sobs wrecking through my body. i couldn't see through the tears in my eyes, but i could tell the luke hadn't moved a muscle.

"he deserved better and you know that." i felt my soul being crushed. "i mean, a letter? seriously esther? and a half-assed one at that. i know damn well you don't have a degree in creative writing for that bullshit."

i opened my mouth to explain, but nothing came up. what would i say, that i was a broken person? cop out. that i did it to everyone? not much better. that i got scared? fucking coward.

"if you think that you deserve to see my brother, then i'll let you in." he told me, moving out of the way, door open wide. i just stood there, staring at him through teary eyes. my brain cheered, finally able to go in, but my feet wouldn't move.

my heart still clenched and ached, and with every thought of moving forward, into that apartment, it hurt more. jack didn't deserve this. after all the nights of him reading my poems about him and praising my work, after all the sweet things he'd say when i was down, after all the little acts of kindness he showed me, after all the love he poured into us, he didn't deserve to be broken by me. hurt people hurt people, the scholars had that right. he didn't deserve to be broken.

and so, i got ready to leave, again.

"i'm sorry." was all i said, turning around with heavy legs and a heavy heart. i heard luke let out a sigh as i walked away, closing the door behind him.

a couple of days went by and i found myself back at their apartment. i knew they wouldn't be there, they had an away game in anaheim the night before, and i knew from my time with jack that they would always spend the night in the city before coming back, especially after a win, a 5-0 win no less.

i stood there in front of their door, a small box in my hands, contemplating. jack didn't deserve this, but a selfish part of me needed this. i placed the box gingerly outside of their door and left the building. if the box was taken by some nosy neighbor, or thrown in the trash by some janitor, then it would be fate. it would be a sign to move on. but, there was a chance that jack and luke would come back to their apartment, and would pick up the box, and jack would recognize my handwriting. and, instead of throwing the box in the trash like any normal self-respecting person receiving a box from their shitty ex, he would take it to his room, and open it up to see my notebook, with a bookmark starting at the pages when i first started seeing him. and he would read the poems and maybe, just maybe, he'd see the note written on the bookmark to meet me at the park near his apartment, and maybe, just maybe, he'd be willing to hear me out.

i went to that park every single day for exactly one month and six days, always arriving by 1 pm, never late. and i would stay there until 4 pm, waiting.

on the 37th day, i was sitting there, editing, funnily enough, a sports column about the recent devils and islanders game. i watched it, absolutely terrible game it was, the islanders beating the devils for the first time in the season. our sports journalist, while passionate and very knowledgeable about seemingly every sport out there, had a knack for writing long, run-on sentences that reflected his rambling nature. as i sat there on the same park bench i had been sitting on for the previous 36 days, a figure stopped in front of me. i finished up the sentence i was working on before looking up.

and while i hate cliches, the wind was absolutely knocked out of my lungs.

"h-hey jack." i started, immediately putting away my work, giving him my full attention.

"hey esther." a shiver ran down my spine from him just saying my name. it had been so long, and while it lost its loving tone, i welcomed it with open arms. jack moved, taking the spot next to me, looking out at the trees in front of us. when it became apparent he wasn't going to say anything, i started the conversation.

"i see you read the notebook."

"i finished it three weeks ago." he replied, voice lacking its usual emotion. tears welled up in my eyes. three weeks.

"oh."

"i came here immediately after finishing it." i felt my eyes bulge out of their sockets at that. he continued, "i went to that bench over there and watched as you fidgeted in your spot, looking frantically at everyone who passed by. i watched the next day as you sat in the pouring rain with no umbrella. i sat over on that bench every day that i was here since reading your notebook."

a silence fell upon us, my mind reeling, trying to figure out what he was trying to say, from his emotionless face to the fact that he came.

"do you know how much it hurt? waking up to empty sheets and some half-assed note with the lamest excuses on earth?" i hadn't really paid mind to the tears rolling down my cheeks until he brought that up, sending me back to that morning, quickly scribbling out some gibberish before leaving the best part of my life behind.

"i was going to wait another month, y'know. to see if you were still gonna come here every day."

"so why didn't you?" i asked, sniffling intensely, trying to calm down my sobs.

"luke said i was absolutely miserable without you. coach told me i wasn't focused. my teammates pointed out that i barely left my apartment. the icing on the cake was when my mom started asking if you would be coming over to the lakehouse this summer. i realized, as pathetic as it seems, that i can't live without you."

my attempts at stopping my crying were thrown out the window at that. i could probably fill the hudson river with the amount of tears i had shed over the past two months.

"how can i make it up to you. please, please let me make it up to you." i begged, fully facing him, my hands angrily playing with the sleeves of my shirt because if i didn't, i would be reaching out to the man in front of me.

"never pull that shit again." he bargained, looking me dead in the eyes for the first time in months. and in that moment, i saw just how bad he was doing. sunken eyes with heavy bags, his skin dull, hair slightly unkempt under his hat.

"never again." i promised, putting out my pinky to him, something he would always do when he promised me to not get hurt in games. he let out a hoarse laugh, looking away from me, and when he looked back, i saw the tears brewing in his eyes. he took my pinky in his and held it there, between us.

"now, i'm not gonna just take you right back after all that. that was really shitty and i need some time to get over that. but, as i've found out, i can't really function without you. so maybe you could start with coming to my games again, and i could take you out for coffee next week."

"sounds perfect."

i accepted my life as an editor for the local newspaper, accepted that i probably wouldn't write another page-turning sell-out book, accepted that i was completely content with whatever happened to me, so long as jack was there with me.

and with that, my self-destructive, soul-crushing, heart-breaking tendencies reached their end.

#jack hughes #jack hughes x oc #new jersey devils #fanfic

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naturalswimmingspirit · 1 month ago

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elaine_doyle_

Kneeling faintly at the footsteps of the deep initiations that crash like waves over me again and again and again

I deeply bow & surrender And I say thank you Thank you for pulling me into truth The truth that dissolves all shadows

Deep into my inner well of knowing That I called you in Every single one of you Cracking me open Into the utter destruction that is the awakening path For change is my natural state Like a caterpillar morphing into the butterfly The beast becoming the beauty Crawling out of the shell of my ancestral pains & deep untruths For the bud to become the rose

Through the crashing waves I rebirth myself again and again and again A million thousand pieces I lie on the womb of the ocean floor Calling all parts of my higher self back into my body to be become whole & holy once again

Chaos, heartbreak, pain & love I say thank you For reminding me of why I came here For my soul to expand and stretch beyond all limitations A promise I made to myself eons ago To return here now In the midst of this golden age To reclaim the way of love To remember the mysteries of the rose

Grounded in peace, heart wide open ,kneeling at the footsteps of these crashing waves I trust, from the ecstasy to the agony, to the joy to the grief, the bloom to the fall, that life is happening for me not to me for the pain is the portal to my souls liberation & I am no longer afraid of these crashing waves 🕊✨🌹🐍

📸 @kateflomurphy

elaine_doyle_

Can you feel the intense energy? 2022 was predicted to be the most intense year of the great awakening yet. A reminder ,this transition that earth is in, this falling away of all that isn’t in alignment so she can increase her vibration and frequency started in 2012 and is said to last until 2032 and is the initiation into the golden age that will last 2’000 years. This is why so many of us are feeling the pull to heal ourselves and others. As the earth increases her vibration none of us can escape the intensity whether we are conscious of it or not. 🌀 So we are smack bang in the middle of this transition, summer solstice 2022 being the midpoint between 2012 & 2032. So of course this is going to feel like perhaps the most intense, density & also the crossing over into a magical threshold of ourmost divine , authentic, passionate, focused self. For me personally when I tuned into the energy of 2022 the word that kept coming to me was solitude. 🌀 There is so much transmissions, healing & remembrance that deep silence and solitude has been essential. Which is hard because I love and desire community deeply but the last while has showed me I cannot deny my need for deep silence and aloneness & honestly in that space I am finding the bliss & remembrance my soul is yearning for. Which is ironic as there is now so much gatherings and opportunities for social contact . It’s like spirit is testing me (us) how much can you really give your body and soul what it needs. How much can you trust that in solitude you will meet all of your own needs. I do feel the unpredictable weather in Ireland is also reflecting the energy ; the need for hibernation and rest for us all. 🌀 For me It feels to good to finally acknowledge the part of me that is a massive introvert and witnessing it’s power. I want to acknowledge here my lack of response to messages gatherings etc is in no way personal and I feel it’s important to mention this and for us all to set some boundaries with a device that can force us into constant informal contact which is now way beneficial to our soul. 🌀

I feel I am transforming and changing so rapidly right now I just don’t have the ability to have anything less than solid boundaries to allow the space the upgrades deeply need. 🌀 Also for me there is so much remembrance flooding in from other lifetimes that I am continuing to pause offering regular space holding of others to truly focus on my own path. It feels strange at times as for along time my life was dedicated to helping others and honestly one of the most courageous things I’ve done is pulling back from all of that, to really hold and give space to myself, my heart, my longing for freedom and deep healing & remembrance. 🌀 The past few weeks I have had another massive death and rebirth again wow this has just been so continuous over the past 3 years and as magical as it is it’s also extremely exhausting . As I rebirth each time my energy is that of a new born and I am thrown into deep surrender of what is possible given the energy levels & within this the most DIVINE consciousness arrives, that of unconditional love, forgiveness, non judgment and that is what this golden age is all about. Raising our vibration by raising our consciousness. 🌀 I am also excited for the time when it comes , to share and hold space again I have just so much juicy reflections of this healing journey to share but you know there is no rush this great awakening is only getting started and as we honour our own path we fall back into the flow on the divine. 🌀 Would love to hear what you are all navigating during this midpoint? As we share our story we allow humanity to breath and remember they are not alone on this path. 🌀 Míle Buíochas to the priestess herself @kateflomurphy for capturing this moment at the sacred waters in Donegal. My first social outing in weeks 😂 Grà Mòr Léan 🌀🌹✨

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witchofhimring · 1 year ago

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Loyalty chapter 4

Pairings: Aemond Targaryen x Tyrell Reader

Aemond Targaryen x Ellyn Baratheon

Y/n Tyrells Profiles

Warnings: Angst, heartbreak, childbirth, emotional turmoil, death, unrequited love?, humiliation by Ellyn Baratheon, marital abuse, marital consummation, misogamy (internalized as well as external), brief depictions of smut, Plot twist at the end!

Synopsis:

The reader heads to Casterly Rock to start a new life. But something from Kings Landing follows her all the way. Also Elinor as an absolute badass this chapter.

With a jolt you were awoken. Groggily you opened your eyes to see the lamp above you swinging rather precariously. They had given you wine to help with the journey, an added bonus being that it lulled you to sleep. The other two ladies were asleep in a pile of furs. Only Lady Alana was awake, eagerly staring out the window. You envied her. "I suppose you are glad to be heading back now." "Oh yes." She showed a pair of pearly white teeth. Elinor was the only other one awake. Her eyes would shut but then open, determined to stay awake. "How far are we?" You inquired. "We can not be far. I recognize this terrain. It gets more smooth the nearer we get. I think perhaps the woods near Casterly? I pray we get out soon, I have never liked these woods." Lady Alana shivered. "Why not? Are they unsafe?" You had hardly any time to educate yourself before heading off, such was the hurry of your engagement. A book on the West lay beside you but the journey had made you feel nauseous. Lady Alana leaned in forward, her voice dropping to a whisper. "It is witches, My Lady. And its not exactly a rumor either. Strang happenings going on." You suddenly huddled in your blankets. Your thoughts went to the dream with its bleeding Weirwood tree. The small mark on your elbow ached. In your current state it was not hard to believe there were mysterious happening going on just beyond the road. Now you really wanted to get to Casterly Rock.

You really, really wished you had kept your mouth silent. For the rest of the ride every bump made you think of a trap. When you dared to peak out the branches eerily swaying in the wind reminded you of hands with long claws. Elinor inched closer to you and grasped the star around her neck. The road soon became smoother and you hoped the ride would end soon. At some point you smelt the sea. It was wonderous. You had not smelt such clean water since Driftmark. You finally dared to peak out. And that was when you saw it, Casterly Rock. On a great mound of rock sat the great fortress, carved out of the very hill it sat on. Its great high walls were a beauty to behold. Its towers a pillar of strength. The full moon was nearly obscured by the shear size of this place. Realizing that you had just seen it Lady Alana jumped up and cried out. "It is there, I see it!" The other two who had up till now been asleep awoke a looked out also. Nearer and nearer you drew and the castles great shadow cast itself over you.

You had to grip the carriage as it trundled uphill. Every moment you were worried that something might snap and you would roll right down that hill. It was steep enough you actually considered walking. Even Lady Alana seemed nervous. "It has been a while." She smiled anxiously. It was a blessed relief to reach the top. The ladies sighed and you wasted no time in getting up. Quickly you smoothed out your dress. It was a deep red with gold trimming, a fine design the Dowager Queen herself had ordered to be made. You gazed at the entrance in awe. For it was not a mere door that greeted you. Two great stone lions with flowing manes and ruby eyes stood apart from each other. They were in the same position as the Lannister symbol, on their hind legs ready to charge. Their claws acted as hinges for the doors. While you expected Casterly Rock to be well maintained, you had not been prepared to be overawed. And excitement coursed through you when it dawned that you would be its lady. A group was already waiting for you. Servants, guards, lords and ladies all bowed to you. It took your breath away as the reality was real. While you were not sure how to feel, there was a warm blood in your chest. And then one of them, the only one not to bow, started forward. Your heart leapt as you realized who it was. Jason Lannister was not an old man, although he was some years your elder. He had a slightly stocky appearance and was about average in height. His golden hair had darkened over the years and was cut to just bellow his ears. He was not unattractive, although there was sternness to him that made you nervous. You wondered how he felt about remarrying. You doubted he was entirely happy for it either. "Lady Y/n, welcome to Casterly Rock."

After the Lord of Casterly Rock offered you his hand he lead you inside. You could tell he was still strong and that gave you hope. The rest of the court followed suit. The great doors slowly opened, chains rattling as they did so. The Red Keep was nothing compared to this in its grandeur. You walked forward and a gust of hot air hit you. The hallway was magnificent in scale and grandeur. The pillars held up a coved ceiling with golden lions heads peering down. The walls were lined with tapestries holding the tales of heroes long ago. At the very end was a small flight of stairs leading to a chair. When the two of you had ascended the stairs Jason Lannister turned around. His grip on your fingers tightened. "My Lords, Ladies. My new wife."

You had no time to acquaint yourself with your new husband. The new ladies whisked you away and up tall flights of stairs you went. They were all chattering and some asked you questions. "Was it a difficult journey?" "I am Lady Clarissa Casterly." "Do you miss Kings Landing?" You could hardly keep up and attempted to address each request. Mercifully you arrived at the top pf the tower and only a few ladies were permitted in. The room was circular in design with stain class windows that likely looked out on the sea. Tapestries hung red from the stone walls. A large vanity was situated on the left side of your bed. Necklaces lay glittering on laid out on cushions. A wardrobe made of dark oak that was big enough to fit thirty of you quite comfortably. On the bed lay a luxurious dress. Unsurprisingly it was red, but what a beautiful red it was! Its trail went to the floor as did the sleeves. A golden lion was sewn into the bodice. "Lady, if you would we would like to get you ready." They undressed you and it was a bazar experience. You usually only had Elinor with you to change, but now ten ladies assisted you. Of course you were no fool, Queen Alicent had ladies. Still it was one thing to be a lady, another to be the one everything revolved around. Your body heated when the final layer was removed, bearing your body to all of them. Before embarrassment could truly set in a robe was thrown over your body. It stunned you to see it had fur trimmings and gold buttons. Next, they lead you through a door and into the bathing chamber. In the marble ground was a large tub already filled with water. You would smell rosewater and lavender. You were bid to take off your robes and step into the water. It was mercifully warm and soothed your aching joints.

After you got out of the tub you had never felt so clean. They had scrubbed every inch of your body. Your hair had a smooth texture to it now and you nails were carefully shaped. The only part you had not enjoyed was when they had to pluck your eyebrows. The robe they gave you this time was silk and flowed around your ankles. Then it was back to the bedroom and changing into the new dress. They had to do up what felt like a thousand strings (to your mind at least). Then came the jewelry. A ruby encrusted necklace and earrings. Your hair was placed in a crown braid with a ribbon put through it. Looking at yourself in the mirror you could hardly believe it, you looked like an entirely different person. Radiant even. So unlike the little girl in green back at the Red Keep. And at that moment you swore never to wear that colour again. "You look lovely My Lady." One of them smiled. Your face heated up, but nevertheless you grinned back.

They took you back down to the great hall. Somehow in the time you had been gone, though it might have been longer than you knew, they had laid out tables and food. Guests were crowding the room. Knowing they were all here for you, you tensed. "I'm right behind you." Whispered Elinor. With a newfound courage you stepped into the hall. A storm of cheers greeted you. It took you every effort to not fall over from the sheer excitement of the wild crowd. You finally reached the high table were your new family sat. Of course Lord Jason sat at the head. Beside him were five young girls who you guessed were his daughters. Then there was Lady Carina Lannister, his mother. From what you heart she was not truly all there these days. You took your set between your betrothed and Tyshara, his eldest daughter. She was a pretty girl only a little younger than yourself. Her golden hair was pilled in an up do and there was a light pink tint to her cheeks. But before you even said a word she turned her back on you, back rigid. Your stomach dropped. Shyly you turned to your future husband. What could you say to a man more than twice your age? You had very little experience in conversing with boys aside for Prince Aemond and Jaecerion. You took a quick drink in hopes of steeling your courage. "I hope you like this." You nearly jumped from alarms, your heart hammered in your chest. Jason Lannister seemed to be looking at you intently. Hands nervously fidgeted on your lap. "I like-love it very much." Thank the Gods you did not stammer. He then took one if your hands into his and you thought you might faint. Anxiety bubbled up within you. Would you feel this way every tmie he touched you, nervous and scared? Right now you truly wished you had married someone you knew beforehand. You thought back to how easily Princess Ellyn interacted with Prince Aemond and envied her. Was this how Dowager Queen Alicent had felt when first married to King Viserys? You know wished you had thought to speak to her on the matter. "I trust the journey was pleasant enough." Jason Lannister asked. "It was well. Although I did hear stories of the woods." Jason Lannister laughed and called them old wives tales. "It is true that the woods have some less than savory characters. But no witches, only bandits." You saw no lie in his face. But you could not shake off the feeling that were was more than men in those woods. Leaving behind talk of witches you switched the subject to something else. "I hear you have five daughters, can you tell me about them?" Jason Lannister shrugged. Best to ask their maids, they likely know more than I do. He laughed along with his men, you on the other hand did not see what was so funny.

You ate what little food you could that night. The entire night people kept coming onto the table to introduce themselves. You wished they would not. Cordially you greeted them and hear their names. Not that you ever remembered. You just wanted to go to bed and sleep. The only nice thing was Lady Lenita's congratulation. Her party had arrived shortly after yours. A few times you attempted to make small talk with your future step daughters. But the eldest seemed determined to ignore you and the others were seated too far away. Maybe this place would be just as lonely as the last. But at least you had Jaecerion. As it a lonelier fate to remain here?

They finally allowed you to go to bed. An entire group of ladies followed you, such was your life now. At least you were not the only one tired. Some of the younger looking ones yawned, staggering slightly. They undressed you and an almost sheer nightgown was pulled over you. The lights were blown out, the sheets pulled over you, and with the click of a lock you were alone. The room was dark, the full moon was in full splendor

The open window brought the sound of rushing water in. Or at least it would have, if the rustling of trees from the forest did not drown it out.

She rushed ahead, pulling you along in her wake. Deeper and deeper the two of you went. Tree branches pushed the two of you on. A full moon lit the way. On and on the two of you went. Pushed along in this dark parade of trees and rushing wind. You were pushed on ahead with no way to step. The ground slowly eroded away until you reached sand that did nothing to stop your ongoing pursuit. The girl disappeared, diving right into a sea of blood. And then you were completely alone, surrounded by blood.

Disoriented, you stumbled into the waking world. The rustling of trees was replaced with water lapping at the surface. "My Lady, it is time to wake." The new voice disconcerted you. This was not Elinor, nor her warm hands on your shoulder. The light temporarily blinded you with its rays. Uncomfortable, you sat up. A woman, in her thirties you reckoned and two other behind her. One you recognized as Lady Alana but the other not. You realized they were here to prepare you for your day, but it still made you unsteady to not have Elinor. "Good morning, where is Lady Elinor?" "Lady Elinor will meet you down in the kitchens. As the Lady of Casterly Rock we felt it was best if those best trained to serve the rank you now hold should wake you. Now, I am Lady Mari Casterly and I will be your head Lady-in-waiting" You could have bristled at their small comment of insinuating Elinor was nothing less than worthy. But after everything that had happened in Kings Landing you really did not want to get off on the wrong foot yet.

You had an array of dresses to chose from. It was almost giddying to have so many fine things. Eventually settling on a dress with a square neckline, sleeves that reached you elbows and a small train to boot. Deciding to keep todays outfit simple you stuck with gold studs. "A wise choice my Lady, those belonged to our former Lady." Said the Lady. She was the one who was beside Lady Alana. Slightly shorter than the average woman, her beautiful black hair fell in curls to her waist. She looked to be younger than you though it was hard to tell. "May I have your name?" You inquired. She flushed slightly. "Lady Karina Casterly. My mother is Ser Jason's sister." So that technically made this girl your niece. It was an odd, if not a bit disconcerting. You supposed everything would take time getting use to. Once dressed they lead you to another room. This one had tall windows facing the sea. Unlike the other ones this room had no tapestries, but golden vines crawling up the red painted walls. Although not large this room was magnificently decorated. "You may take your meals in here, your room or the great hall. For today Lord Lannister will have you eat here so that you might meet his daughters." You thought back to the sulky face of the eldest. Cerelle was the first to enter. Like her eldest sister she had the Lannister golden hair. She smiled prettily and greeted you politely enough. You offered her some cake that she gladly excepted. She you could like. Next came Cara Lannister, the youngest and only a baby. You cooed at her. One day, Gods willing, you might have a baby of your own. Marana and Genna Lannister came in last, brought in by a girl with golden hair. "Where is Lady Tyshara?" You inquired. The ladies looked to one another. You realized she likely would not come. "Please go get her." You ordered. You were not going to take this from some little girl. You would never take it from anyone ever again. They paused for a moment before two obeyed your order. The girl stormed in a few minutes later. Her haughty visage reminded you of Princess Ellyn and it made you irritated. Even miles away your thoughts lingered on her.

With ill grace Lady Tyshara stomped to a chair and sat down, arms crossed. You started a conversation with Lady Cerelle in hopes that her sister might give in and relent. Little Marana joined in, not Genna though as she was too young. Cara, like the youngest, also remained quiet. All throughout the breakfast you could feel Tyshara's mean little eyes upon you. Once breakfast was concluded she gave you one last scathing look before disappearing. You on the other hand, after saying goodbye to the children, was whisked off to yet another room. "This is where you shall hold conference if the Great Hall is not required." A canopy of gold and scarlet red hung over an oak chair. A great lion was carved into its back. She gestured for you to sit on it. You noticed your group was larger now. "Now I will introduce you to everyone so that you will know our names and after that we have tea." This was all going too fast for you liking. But there was not anything you could truly do about it now. The Ladies hurried into a line. Lady Mari stood beside you and called the first one up. And on it went. The ones who already made their introductions went up against the wall. After that was the tea party. They all introduced themselves to you, again. Most of your time was spent in the company of Lady Alana and Karina, both of who you easily liked.

Jason Lannister, after not seeing you all day finally showed up for dinner. Although he was newly clothed you could smell the wine and something potent on him. Like a mixture of musk and soap. "My Lord." You greeted him. "I hope your day was pleasant My Lady." You nodded. He took a gulp of wine before turning back to you. "There is something I would like to speak to you about." Your stomach twisted itself into knots. "I hope everything is well." You said trying to hide your anxiety. "It is a small matter, but may very well be important to you. As these are to most women." You chose not to comment on that particular statement. "It is the matter of my eldest, Tyshara." Your eyes flitted to the empty chair beside you. He did not look cross but rather that this was an obligation of sorts. "The Lady Tyshara does not seem very fond of me." You commented. Jason Lannister simply shrugged. "I will deal with her."

Later on that day Jason Lannister spoke to you one again. You had just finished some measurements for a dress when he entered. The ladies departed except Lady Mari, since the two of you were not yet married. "I wish to speak to you on the subject of my late wife's jewelry." At this moment you wore a gold pendant belonging once to the late Lady Lannister. Was he offended? Dowager Queen Alicent had worn object once belonging to the late Queen Aemma Arryn. Now that you thought about it, would you be fine with another wearing a departed spouses things? You supposed not. "I will ask that you refrain from wearing my late wive's things, at least for a while." Of course, My Lord."

The next day Lady Tyshara gave you a little smirk. Likely, she had something to do with yesterdays events. You supposed she really did not want a stepmother. But it was hardly your fault. And you were fucking sick of it. First you had to put up with Princess Ellyn, and now you could not even get respect here. Weeks of that deep ache in your chest started to physically.

The day before your wedding, Prince Aemond Targaryen and his wife came to Casterly Rock, followed by Jaecerion. It was only recently that you realized they would becoming. This did nothing for the pre-nuptual fear you felt. Now Princess Ellyn's sneer make out at you from the shadows. Her blue eye's flashed in your dreams. The place where her nails had dug into your skin stung. The knowledge of their impending arrival kept you up at night. And when you did fall asleep there was no rest there either. A constant vine of anxiety had trapped you in its grasp. Sometimes when you breathed it felt like there was a band across your chest. You never wanted to see either of them again.

The day they arrived was cold and cloudy. The waves in Lannisport shrew themselves against the rocks in a fury. You watched the forest tree bend, in danger of being ripped right out of the ground. Maybe this would hold the Prince up. Of perhaps they would not come at all. The only worry you had was for Jaecerion. His dragon was young and small. What if he fell off or the dragon was unable to battle the wind? After dressing you went with Lady Alana and Lady Karina to a window with a view of the entrance. The three of you sat huddled up, wrapped in furs and eating cakes. In the mean time you got to learn more about them. "So, Lady Alana, where were you fostered?" Lady Alana swallowed her cake. "Oldtown My Lady." "So you must know Prince Daeron then." Lady Alana's pale face developed a pink tint on the cheeks. "Yes. I do know him." She suddenly had difficulty meeting your eyes. A great wave of sadness passed through you. This had been you once. You envied and pitied her. He would likely be betrothed to the daughter of a Lord Paramount. "Have you ever loved someone, My Lady?" Said Lady Karina. You froze. Did she know anything? It would not be surprising if the rumors spread all the way here. No one had mentioned it so far. But that did not mean tongues were not wagging. "No." You lied. A small breath escaped your pursed lips.

You were getting ready for bed, anxiety coursing through you. Would you be able to bear it? You felt stuck in the past with everyone else was moving on. As time moved on you were stuck in time. Forever frozen in your torment. Lady Mari was brushing your hair for bed. A cup of tea sat next to you. It had been brought when one of your ladies noticed you looked nervous. They likely all thought it was pre-wedding nerves. Although not fully incorrect, they could not truly understand your pain. You wanted to cry out and tell someone. But who could you trust. You were utterly alone and wretched.

Someone knocked at the door and you looked over. "Who is there?" You called out. "Lord Jason Lannister, My Lady." You shared a look with Lady Mari. Jason Lannister entered a moment later. Behind him was a maester holding a cup of steaming tea. You stood up and the women curtsied. "I hear that you went missing earlier." He was scrutinizing you, like a parent scolding a child caught in wrongdoing. "Missing? My Lord you must be mistaken." Jason Lannister jerked his head, Lady Mari took that as her cue to leave, and you were left alone with a stern looking Jason Lannister and serious maester. "Please, do not seek to make a fool of me. I was informed that you went missing earlier today." "By whom?!" You were on your feet, fear infecting you. "That is not for you to know." "If you must know I was with Lady Alana and Karina." He ignored your protest, putting a hand up. "I was assured of your chastity by the Dowager Queen. And while I do not doubt her word, I will have you drink this." The maester stepped forward and you realized what the cup held.

You were shaking, a combination of rage and hurt. You had been here less than a week and he already suspected you. This place was no better than Kings Landing. You had never escaped. So you drank the foul concoction that tasted of ash in your mouth.

You were woken at the crack of dawn. Today was another ritual, where they bathed you, lathered you in oils, dressed you, did your hair and placed priceless jewelry against your body. They braided your hair and then pinned up the end into a bun. The train of your down trailed behind you, weighed down by golden studs. You broke your fast, still tasting Moon tea on your tongue. You did not share a word with your husband or stepchildren, the eldest of who was smirking all the while. You noticed that there was a new person at the head table today. She was of a shorter stature, but with a delicate figure. Her red hair hung in ringlets to her waist. Porcelain skin pale as snow but with a light dust of freckles on her nose and cheeks. You leaned back and questioned Lady Karina on who this beautiful woman was. She hesitated. "That is Lady Reyne." That still did not explain why she was here. Was Lady Reyne a visitor? You should probably make your introduction to her later.

After breaking your fast everyone shuffled outside to wait for the royal party. It was a cold morning making you grateful for the cloak. Not that it made the wait any more enjoyable. And it did not shield you from the jittery anxiety. The only thing you could hear was the whipped up wind and flying banners. Higher and higher the despair you felt climbed in its fury. You were a horrid concoction of anger and deep hurt today. A roar was the first herald of the royal party. Vhagar. The great dragon descended from the sky. Everyone but you staggered back by the dragons great power. After him came Jaecerion. Off Vhagar's back came Prince Aemond, and to your great distress, Princess Ellyn. She giggled as she linked her arm in his. Your insides crawled. "Your Graces." Jason Lannister gave a suave bow. Prince Aemond greeted him and then went to you. "Lady Lannister." Prince Aemond acknowledged you as the Lady of Casterly Rock, a stranger to him. Princess Ellyn grinned widely but surprisingly said nothing. Jaecerion was more warm to his friend. "My Lady, it is a pleasure to see you again." He kissed your fingertips and you smiled ever so slightly. If felt nice to feel warm again. Although you did notice the glint in his eyes that did not make you know how to feel. There was another meal next. Lady Reyne had disappeared with the Princess and two Princesses taking her place. Thankfully you were not placed next to the Princess. Jaecerion happily took his place next to you. "How is Casterly Rock treating you." He poured you a drink. "Very well. I think I shall be happy there." You were aware that Jason Lannister was listening to every word you said. "Your Grace." Tyshara's voice adopted at tone you had never heard before. She had adopted the tone of a young, shy maiden, eyes downcast. "You must be Lady Tyshara. You are as beautiful as they say." Tyshara's cheeks went pink. Hatred stirred in your body. You knew what the girl wanted. She was a Lannister and a Prince was no small prize. No. You would not have two Princesses as enemies. And you absolutely would not allow this brat to get her way. So you inched towards Jaecerion and linked your arm with his. "I hear you are in want of a wife. Have you considered anyone?" You noticed Tyshara freeze. You smirked. She likely did not realize you were so close with the Prince. "When I do I will seek advice from you." You were so wrapped up in your victory that the glint in his eyes went unacknowledged. You shot Tyshara a look that made her go pale. No Prince for Tyshara Lannister.

You dressed in a deep red and fur lined outfit before being bustled into the carriage, followed by Lady Alana, Lady Karina and Elinor. You had no interested in hunting. But the food might be good. Princess Ellyn, to your horror, and Lady Cerilla, followed by Tyshara and one of her ladies came in. Although Princess Ellyn kept her unusual silence her eyes were no less venomous. Either the Dowager Queen had silenced her or your status as Lady of Casterly Rock caused her to think twice. You hoped your status frightened her, only to know that such a though was folly. The carriage shuttered as it trundled along the road. Princess Ellyn looked unsettled, much to your satisfaction. "Is it true Lady Y/n once served you?" Tyshara was like a lion, hunting for her pray like the little lioness she was. Princess Ellyn paused for a moment before taking the bate. "It is true. Although she was rather a little too preoccupied." Tyshara's eyes widened. You felt sick. It was poor luck that you were stuck in this carriage. "What do you mean?" Tyshara inched towards her. "Oh, you did not hear?" You wanted to throw up. "Well......Y/n had enjoyed a rather close relationship with Prince Aemond." Even after your innocents had been proven she still insisted on this story. Not even that horrid trial was enough for her. You were about to speak, to protest your innocents, but Elinor spoke first.

"For shame!" Everyone turned. It was not you who spoke, by Elinor. Her cheeks were completely flushed, eyes wide. A shaking hand clasped onto your mouth in horror. And Elinor had only just started. "You are a Princess so perhaps it is high time that you act like one. How are you not embarrassed by your impropriety. Lady Y/n has been at the court a good deal longer than yourself you have the gall to criticize her service. Well let me tell you this, your status can not hide the fact that you that my Lady has more grace in her body then you have in your whole body. So I suggest you think on that before casting around such baseless rumors."

A scream rent the carriage.

Notes:

This chapter is shorter than the others because otherwise it will be ridiculously long. Also I wanted reader's wedding day to be its own chapter. Tyshara and Cerelle are the names of Jason Lannister's daughters. Canonically he has five with three who's names are unmentioned. Cara, Marana and Genna are the names I came up with for the youngest. The illegitimate daughters were also never given names by Martin. Jason Lannister also does have mistresses with one being his favourite so I did not make that part up.

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