#one of my worst posts tbh
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White Man SHOCKS pacific northwest by triggering perfect 10.0 magnitude earthquake along the cascadia fault line.
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What if we were both magic prodigies and it otherized us in different ways and we devoted ourselves to protecting a family member who has general other goals & priorities. What if we both did self-sacrifical devotion in opposite ways.
What if we were dark mirrors of each other and where I've grown overcontrolling you've grown complacent. What if, bought as a servant into a pretty loving home, ownership and control is what love looks like to me, and to you neglected and lonely growing up, love is gratefully taking any scraps of it you’re lent.
By belonging to someone, even if she comes back injured or fails at finding Delgal, she feels like she belongs and is cherished, by owning someone he feels safe in them not leaving him.
She’s what’s tethering him do you see… And he’s the only thing giving her direction and purpose in her state. She needs a compass and he needs a support.
They’re both so out of it 😭 It’s the weirdly intense and unearned mutual trust and reliance on each other?? They’re each other’s weird little comfort codependent teddy bear. Or at least they were headed towards that before SHE DIED THEN HE DIED THEN THEY BOTH FORGOT ABOUT EACH OTHER AND NEVER MET EVER AGAIN. Though she’s also the guard attack hound keeping him safe… And vice versa he heals her and can rewrite her very being with just one wave of his hand. They’re both so so mentally and physically vulnerable both but they cling onto each other. They can’t perceive things accurately but despite it all someway somehow they stumble into something closer to resembling companionship just before they both die. Falin is just that kind and Thistle is just that lonely. Overworked.
We both haven’t lived for ourselves in a very long time, haven’t we.
They both have a similar devotion to the people they love but again the difference is that Thistle starts overtsepping while Falin is self-effacing. The other difference between them is that people care about Falin <3 People have given up on Thistle long ago, and he has given people reasons to, while people refuse to give up on Falin. Yaad has a mini arc about it dw about it it’s ok he’s not all alone in the end 😭😭 He reached out for Marcille’s hand but they already all wanted to help him, they just had to be given the chance to, Yaad just had to be given the chance to, it’s okay I’m okay
Hey what if we learned to get in touch with our own identity and the world around us and living in the present again through being in the worst codependent situationship ever.
Falin and Thistle sitting in a tree, sucking on flowers together because they’re h-u-n-g-r-y 💕💕💕
I bet he’s only ever thought of flowers as useless ornaments. Weak weeds. But she shows him they’re tasty and useful and good and pretty in their own right too and deserve existing without proving their worth and waaa <33 Thistles…... Did you know thistles taste sweet if you remove the thorns and eat them?
"Even as a chimera, her kind nature remains" you can’t suppress her in the way that matters. You can’t soothe him in the way that matters. It’s doomed. You’re doomed. It’s all doomed. Save me.
#Spoilers#dungeon meshi manga spoilers#Thistle#falin touden#thistlin#OOOOH UNHEALTHY RELATIONSHIP THAT SOMEHOW WORKS OUT SAVE ME#I need them to be traumabonded kittens to not separate post-canon#I’m seeing a raise in post-canon thistle content/interest which makes me v happy#Fumi rambles#Falin learning to disobey orders with Thistle is one of my fave things. EAT THAT CURRY GIRL!!!! Nvm that it’s gonna get you killed#It’s good for the character arc#Falin and thistle sitting on a web o-b-s-e-s-s-i-n-g <3#This is somewhat of a tldr of my huge thistlin post. Plus some thoughts i had in discord or twitter#Keeping it for another day but tbh if you see their dynamic in canon as her thinking/having picked him as her mate it changes nothing#about her behavior which I find funny. Thistle accidentally claimed himself a parrot mate bc he’s bad with monsters confirmed#Ik my thing of them learning to relax and live in the present moment again is pretty fanon BUT IT’S WHAT KUI POINTED TOWARDS#With her calming him down from a panic attack and eating berries. With the baths for dandruffs. Etc. Thistle hasn’t socialized in a long#time and he wouldn’t if it wasn’t a tool he needed to interact with BUT it’s still socialization and it’s getting him in touch with his#surroundings again even if just a bit slowly but surely!! The Toudens have a superpower in reaching Thistle. Bless#How’s that one post go again. he refuses to develop he's part of the problem he maintains the cycle he's trapped in the cycle.#she's growing she's finding her place she escaped her original role she wants to help people she will never save him she will never save hi#Something something they have to abstract each other bc relationships with humans have always been too charged and unsafe#Only by seeing each other as more concept than person more object than peer can they truly be vulnerable#Like the fuckedupness lf their dynamic and state is WHY they’re so attached. Why their dynamic could be so raw and needy#The stars aligned in the worst way. Mission successfully faile#Tfw we both need to feel needed
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okay, one thing about james. he is the only marauder (casting peter aside) who i just can't forgive. i like remus, and while i dislike sirius i can at least appreciate his strenghts and his good sides. but i can't forgive james for the swm incident and many people seem to have trouble understanding why this isolated event ruins his entire character. because i am willing to believe that he worked on himself and became a better person after hogwarts (mainly because i don't think lily would have ever married him otherwise). i completely believe that even at hogwarts, he was considered a likable person by many. that he was fun to be around and friendly to most. that he wasn't all bad or only a bully.
but here's the thing. there are things you only have to do once to be irredeemable, and what happened in snapes worst memory, to me, is one of those things. i do not care if james was an amazing person outside of this one incident. and i understand that everyone has different morals and that other people can forgive james - or not forgive severus. unlike james, severus got a chance to redeem himself and he took it. he was still a bully, but here's where my personal perception comes into play again. i had many awful teachers who were bullies and i know how much it sucks (in my country, teachers are insanely hard to get fired, meaning they truly can get away with almost anything including obvious discrimination). i can't justify his mistreatment of students, but to me his good sides outweigh it, so i can forgive and like him despite this flaw while others can not which is valid too. but sexual harassment is not something i can forgive no matter the circumstances or the person who did it. i would feel the same way if the roles had been reversed and james had been the victim - i wouldn't be a snape stan. ultimately we all have our own individual morals that play into how we perceive these complex characters.
tldr: it doesn't matter to me if james was a balanced character and a good person outside of swm because committing sexual harassment 'just once' is still one time too many and makes anyone permanently irredeemable in my eyes
#last post for tonight i promise#had to get this out of my system aswell#and honestly this should apply to sirius too#especially because he never felt sorry about it even as an adult#yea i lowkey hate sirius tbh#but he did live longer than james and therefore we got to see more of his good side#he did not redeem himself but i still find him slightly more likable than james because he had more chances to show his good side#and at the very least he was not the one who suggested taking off snapes underwear so thats something#pro snape#anti marauders#anti james potter#snapes worst memory#severus snape#of course this entire post assumes that the reader considers swm a form of SA which unfortunately we know not nearly everyone does
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My 23 faves of 2023 in no particular order A.K.A. MY FAVORITE (MOSTLY) AARON EDITS IN DIFFERENT FLAVORS
Tagged by @madeofcc and @agena87, thank you so much! I'm tagging @eljeebee @adelarsims @itsmariejanel @pxltown @mattodore @madebycoffee @non-sims @castawavy @potential-fate @squea @sikoi @gleamer and everyone else who is in mood to do this, please feel free to say I have tagged you ♡
Under the cut follows some unnecessary personal commentary about the edits in case you're interested.
Really like this bc of the pose, also the drawn on freckles make him look extra cute.
Feel like he looks really mean there.
Him sulking in a hotel and almost setting it ablaze is everything to me.
He literally looks insane. Absolutely love it.
The cowboy look suits him so good? The toothpick in his mouth is like a cherry on top of icecream.
Obviously intoxicated Aaron is a look which is near impossible to me to explain how much I adore it? Love how fucked up he looks there.
This was sooo fun to do, I love when I'm able to show off his influencer lifestyle and make it seem a bit lively.
The wolfcut, the long lashes, the slutty top?? OOF
I'M JUST NOW REALIZING HOW GOOD HE LOOKS IN PINK
The sequin jumpsuit?? Do I need to say more
It's really visible there how heavily tattooed he is.
Love how sickly he looks on this pic.
My favourite little hoe. Always extra obsessed with him whenever he wears a beret.
THAT'S MY WIFE RIGHT THERE, seriouslyyy love her pretty face so much.
THIS IS MY OTHER WIFE. My problematic obsessive witch.
Love love love how the vampire look barely alters from his regular one.
Such a whore 😪
Vale in his full goth get-up... oh my god...
Best friends posing for instagram selfies, what's not to love.
I ADORE THE LAUNDROMAT AESTHETIC ANYWAYS, but with these 2 buddies especially, they look sooo freaking cute there imo?
Them posing with matching halloween costumes and sipping blood, ahem, juice...
MY SLAVCORE EDIT. Honestly love that I managed to pull that specific vibe off so well.
Ignore these idiots, whatever they're doing is absolutely legal.
#this was such a good year for edits tbh? I am genuinely proud of the stuff I managed to create#the worst thing is i have a couple of other fave edits but idiot me keeps them in the drafts for no reasons?? whyyy#like dude there is nothing withholding me from posting them#also i should delete this hipster mofo out of my brain or otherwise no one else will get their time to shine 🔫#tag game#my sims#ts4#behind the scenes/outtakes
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i think im in too deep w charmander duo. bc i was thinking abt how flame thinks very little abt bans, and how theres a genuine possibility he helps the Guardians ban people not even bc he thinks bans should matter, but just like for fun bc he doesnt think of it that seriously. which led me to thinking "wait but pangi could help him change his mind ^-^" nd now im just thinking of an au where pangi does Just That .
#lifesteal spoilers#charmander duo#pangi#flamefrags#i gen think only losing mane or pangi could help change his perspective tbh#i don't see pangi doing this realistically but that's why its an au :D#bc to me in this au its like worst case scenario of flame banning more than just already banned players#maybe not at the end of s6 but approaching the end#so thats why i think pangi would be more okay banning himself to help flame see things differently#i think hes aware zam and derap seperately will Not let him stay banned too bc zam is zam#and derap would stop at nothing to revive pangi like theyre buddies!!#but he would at least say he wont come back to emphasize how permanent it is and how no matter who is banned#it will matter to at least one person. itll impact SOMEONE. just like pangi is intending for his own life to matter to flame#tho if pangi did ban himself i think itd upset zam and derap a lot ToT#like esp if its for the guy whos been banning other people. even if it does change flame its like#itd feel like a loss nonetheless for the team intent on keeping everyone alive#esp bc its someone derap actually cares abt#sry idk if zam cares abt pangi like that which is why im focusing on cringe and charmanders#LOL#ik empires are a thing but zams way of treating pangi def doesnt show his care tbh#like the only people who actually seem to value pangi on ls is derap and flame#and even they would never choose him first#but they care enough that I think pangi being banned would impact them the most#sorry for angst posting on christmas#it might happen again#later#it depends. im in a Mood.#n e ways! im gonna nap before my social obligations ^-^
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i often really do feel like an .. unwanted part of the fandom, i dont draw beautiful landscapes, i have unpopular but strong opinions im constantly annoying about and rarely change, dont like/dont draw the pretty young popular twinks and hot gurls to fanboi over nor do i turn characters into one, the opposite moreso, draw only one ship no ones heard of really, got little energy to interact with the few people that are nice to me and send me asks so it probably looks like im ignoring everyone and unfortunately but still rarely get so stressed i get overwhelmed and emotional about pehaps seemingly minor things and spiral almost into a breakdown feeling super embarrassed about it afterwards but the damage is already done and i look like a freak or agressive weirdo
#ganondoodles talks#also probably sounds like self pity#but this feeling hits everytime i see a super popular artist be the popular cool artist#i am a little weird i know that and thats not somethign bad i think#but the internet never gets to see that much of me#i tend to write posts when i am at my worst bc it has to go somewhere#so the image it tells people is that im a weirdly strong opiniod freak that gets breakdowns over nothing#i also dont feel like im otherwise -cool tm- enough to balance that out#i dont think my art is as stylized or as inventive as others nor am i cool to interact with bc idk how to be cool to interact with#i feel double bad when i misstepped with someone i used to talk to bc of something stupid ... or just dont know what i did wrong#im guessing its especially when i am in that spiraling state of mind where i really am not myself tbh#it still feels very bad bc i feel like i can never make it up to anyone again#sorry i acted like a jerk my brain was exploding in emotions in a desperate attempt to deal with something idk how to deal with-#-and made me not act like myself but now i feel really dumb about it#doesnt sound like a good excuse#... i want to thank those that do stick with me#even if i acted strange sometimes- even if i disappointed sometimes- even when i couldnt keep a promise#there are little things that still make me angry at myself#like that one time i asked in the tags whod read as long as the end of them and if someone did shoudl send me an ask so id draw a lil thing#and i got two#and i kept trying to remeber oh shit i need to do that and forgetting again/not having energy for it in a loop#i still feel like a jerk about it but now its probably too late#i wish i could answer all asks i get but man my energy for that is always rock bottom#no matter how much i enjoy the ask#and i love getting asks!!!#im sorry :((
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sorry i am not done being upset about how cressida was treated in part 2.
i especially want to talk about how the conversation between eloise and penelope had about cressida genuinely made by blood boil.
when eloise said "i genuinely enjoyed her at the start", she made their entire friendship sound so trivial, like cressida was just some toy meant for her entertainment...and then she basically said the friendship was motivated by pettiness (which fine is justified giving her anger at penelope being LW).
also saying she hopes cressida has a "reasonable" moment like have we even seen cressida be unreasonable? imo most of her actions have perfectly reasonable explanations.
it just leaves a bitter taste in my mouth to see cressida doubting her actions, regretting them even and questioning whether it was a good idea (it wasn't) meanwhile eloise is out there calling her a viper, a monster (and that is before cressida and her mother publish their sheet about the bridgertons) and basically saying "well she was fun at first but then I got bored"
#whoever that person in part 2 is its not eloise bridgerton#tbh it makes cressidas words about how eloise should maybe look in the mirror when talking about cruelty seem like forshadowing#is cressida an innocent character whos never done wrong? no#did she bully penelope and do some questionable shit? yes#does she keep choosing the worst option? also yes#is she a lonely scared and desperate girl who has abusive parents and faces a life with an abusive relative? yes#do i want to hug her? yes#do i want her to get a redemption arc and a hea? yes#i'm a cressida cowper stan#this is a cressida cowper fanblog now sry#cressida cowper#eloise in part 2 was so ooc#i still love her tho she's one of my faves#and cressida is my problematic fave who has never done anything wrong in her life ever (joking)#bridgerton#bridgerton spoilers#my post#own post
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yOu'Re gOiNg fOr a LiTeR? | "Habs react to Quebec Maple facts", 10.22.24
#guys this is not becoming a regular thing this is just the mental illinois breaking through but ALSO I SAW THIS AND SCREAMEDDDDD#they did this For Me. those are all my guys. like yes yes we know about xhekovský but that’s my adopted austrian son david reinbacher!!!#that’s my baby goalie carey price time travel cowboy son cayden primeau!!!! and i just LOVE that they were like#‘yeah so one of them is gonna be a bitch in both pairs. & yeah we’re gonna make them lose.’ & i am HERE for it. you know the media day vid#where they asked all of them who was brat on the team and like 75% said slaf which we all KNEW? yes. correct. even more evidence godddd#also empathize so much with him because i hate feeling stupid & he is notably like. a very smart guy w/good awareness of broader society#and sorry to get like this on a silly little post i’m about to fanfiction-ify before i have xhekovský hours but so much of this goes back#to the xenophobia in the nhl and how we treat players (not only that. people in north am/west tbh) whose first language is not english#and degrade/discredit them and their intelligence by virtue of their multilingualism and how we even think about multilingualism as a whole#e.g. the sense that certain languages are perceived as more ‘valuable’ capital/the support that SHOULD be there for language learning simpl#is not from what i can tell in the nhl so even if you wanted to foster an environment of intercultural competency they’re doing nothing to#support it. the stories!! of so many guys! reliant solely upon their teammates for basic necessities! WHERE is your language acquisition#programming. sorry the linguistics language and culture attempted to jump out there & i am not conveying what i want to say at ALL. anyway#juraj's slow descent into madness as u can SEE him visibly getting more & more over it & done is my roman empire. like he's having fun#at first he's laughing 'what is this whiskey?' & i AM thinking that toothy little grin at arber with the jerkoff hand motion about the mapl#syrup only taking a few minutes to come (out) was a dig. lord knows arber deserved it with his shorts pulled all the way up like GOD the me#you put here to wear slutty little 3" shorts live in cold CANADA and have to cover up their thigh tattoos. what a travesty. and the amount#of THIGH in this video i- biting. arber's hairy legs slaf's manspreading more as he gets frustrated & arber teases him i. and DAVID????#on a completely different note cayden with his face covered is giving me INTENSE brainworms i have the most unhinged storylines for him#AND THE BRYNDZOVE HALUSKYYYY everything past 2:00 is gold. david's tired sighs. slaf hating it here. arber having the time of his life#'taste' 'that's not an advantage' DAVID kill him. 'maple syrup specialist... normal guy 🤷' slaf you are the WORST loser and ily for it#arber defending his wife w/his life... juraj's the smartest guy in the room & arber's on his leash about it. it goes both ways (to be cont)#juraj slafkovský#arber xhekaj#david reinbacher#cayden primeau#montreal canadiens#i'm xhekovský posting leave me alone i'm also *****
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i miss posting and making and engaging with ieytd content but I will be honest sometimes it feels alienating. as a lesbian.
#bee's buzzing#ieytd#i dont know.. its probably just me being Strange. but.#the Main guy in the fandom is juniper. and he's interesting! but. i don't... think about him as often#and when i do it's never in the shipping / x reader context i see so frequently in the tags.#i dont ship him with agent phoenix because. my agent is an it/its dyke. so i dont really engage in that side of fandom#i also dont think about the handler as often because. idk i just think about the women more!#but juniper and agent phoenix and the handler are like. the only people i see talked about often#which is fine!! people like them. i also like them just. not in the same way/to the same extent.#im here for the women. but. they're not talked about often at all :[#when they are it's usually briefly in passing.#they get the worst of the mischaracterization too imo. because people just do not give them the same depth as they like to give-#- charas like john. it makes me kinda sad tbh.#and also the fandom does not. seem to make much space for f/f content.#i know like. the handful of other people who make f/f content for ieytd.#and. god. idk im still honestly a bit ticked off by one solaris post that 1) was not a good analysis i will be quite honest.#it was very surface level. like really basic info and also iirc not entirely accurate? i cannot remember anymore#but. 2). it started by saying 'nobody talks about solaris outside of fabbylaris' and that still makes my blood boil.#like. not to vaguepost but. the fabbylaris posters ARE talking about solaris outside of a shipping context. please. please#also there was a whole Thing a while back where people started being strange about non-feminine nonbinary agent phoenix.#and as a nonbinary butch-adjacent dyke. it made my skin crawl!!! im NOT feminine and idk why making agent phoenix not feminine is.#apparently Bad to a certain subset of the fandom#sorry but im a dyke and i WILL make the player insert protag a butch lesbian who doesnt use she/her.#and if you have a problem with that please think about Why people making the player insert nonbinary and androgynous/Vaguely Masc is-#- such a problem to you. and whether that is alienating to the trans people in the fandom.#okay. im normal now. goodnight.
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do love how this is an asoiaf blog but i did not put either show in my top 10 this is the world we live in
#the only season that really compares to the book is season 1.#the rest even when they’re engaging have changed something that feels so central to the hook that i’m mad aksjd.#getting on my soap box#if iwtv s3 is good it may knock someone out. probably qaf.#bsg is p high up there i just think season 4 really suffered on pacing & the suspicious nature of who dies annoyed me.#veep is also very high up there tbh i need to rewatch it. the thing is. as we know. i am a romantic at heart and amy & jonah have my favorit#sitcom relationship. veep has genuinely one of the best finales to ever exist but i’m a sap.#and amy coming back to tell jonah that he made her realize she doesn’t actually have to expect the worst from life. oh my god.#also superstore >>> parks & rec >>> the office bc superstore never romanticized the hell of their job#amy quitting her corporate job when she realized she would never be able to make the changes she wanted within the system she was always#going to compromise too much and wind up like jeff. glenn reopening his dad’s hardware shop & specifically who goes w him & who stays w gina#at the store? it has what the other two lack which is characters that feel like they keep existing after you stop watching#BECAUSE the way they interacted with the world was so real and so much more realistic. amy can’t fix the system but she can find a job that#she doesn’t feel is so soul sucking. glenn may be choosing a harder path by reopening the hardware store but it’s the one that makes him#most fulfilled. gina just gets to make money and be bossy w people who do what they’re told. that rings so true to me.#i almost out bojack horseman in here too actually but once again i think the last season just needed to be a tad longer just like bsg.#also same issue w pitch as w bly manor - it’s an amazingly written season of tv but it’s ONE season of tv#big brother as always outsells yes i am hoping to tempt some of u into watching by posting dan & ian in the dog costume#i have that gif and the ‘sit’ scene saved on my phone always
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i feel like. a lot of people talking about horror miss the true horror factor in many stories and esp in body horror. the horrifying part is what's happening to the characters, yes, but when you sit down and think about it... the implications, if that's the right word, are scarier
take smth like a werewolf transformation. it has to be painful, even if you get used to it eventually, the unnatural changes to your body have got to hurt, and you don't recognize yourself by the end of it
the horror isn't the mere transformation, but the physical pain, and the psychological aspect
now take stories like i have no mouth and i must scream, or long dream, or the jaunt. yes, they all have their own horrifying aspects, but also elements that others might not consider horrifying - in particular, a long life, or even immortality. some people truly strive for that. yet, here they are presented as horrifying. and i think that's for the same reason
i think. the true horror in most horror media. isn't the monster itself or the killer or the machine etc. it's consciousness
think about it. why does a slow death sound horrifying? it's your awareness of the pain you're going through, as well as the knowledge that you're about to cease to exist. the actual death is normally considered a mercy in these situations, because your suffering stops. your suffering stops once your consciousness stops.
and! this idea is true about both in-universe and on a meta level. a lot of horror relies on keeping things juuuust out of sight to get your mind going and scare itself better than any sfx or verbal descriptions ever could. your own brain working against you, the same way it works against the characters in the story.
the common thread between any horror that i, at least, find scary, is the human brain itself
and it's scarier, bc this is real. this is smth you experience every day. you wake up and think thoughts and are generally aware of what's going on for most of the day, for better or worse. this same level of awareness can be applied to the most horrific situations, and so, bam you've got yourself quality horror. and you're always just one accident or one mistake away from it, too. you just try not to think about it, because, well, your own brain is scarier than any monster it can conjure.
#also not to connect this to my special interest but the xianzh-*gets shot*#might make a separate posg abt that at some point tbh#bc this is essentially what being mara struck is#there's one companion mission (bailu's to be exact) that really fucks me up in that regard.#bc it shows that at least at first. the brain isn't affected. you can still think and talk like yourself. which is when you watch yourself -#- become a monster. sometimes the very same type you've been fighting your whole life#and now i'm going off script my bad :P yeah i should make a separate post lol#dan rambles#it's nearly 2 am and i couldn't fall asleep and realized that being aware is my worst curse smh#i wish i was a jellyfish
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very minor thing I still definitely deserve a medal for:
being raised catholic, and now as an adult repeatedly falling in love with characters that fandoms like to declare catholic, but still managing to reject those headcanons because at heart I'm too much of a stickler for accurate analysis to get behind them when i know the person in question is really meant to be anglican/episcopalian/whatever other flavor of christian
i am being, as the poets say, so brave about it
#i dont wanna list examples bc this is just a lil vent post im not looking to make this pop up in any tags & insult anybody#bc tbh some of the worst offenders are absolutely top-tier favorite characters of mine with woefully small fandoms#& the LAST thing i wanna do is be rude about or discourage anyone who posts about/writes for/discusses them#just because i happen to have trouble getting on board with one part of their analysis.#but it does amaze me that this Keeps happening#talk about resisting temptation#& for the record when i say 'raised catholic' i do not just mean christmas and easter catholic okay#im talking 'college was the first time in my life religion wasnt a required subject' catholic#'virtually everybody i knew as a teen went to different single-sex high schools' catholic#horrible uniforms. strict nuns. classes interrupted for masses for even the minor holidays. joined choir for something to do-catholic#as an adult i still have friends & acquaintances who work in/for churches type-catholic#my mom actively tries to hide rosary beads & scapulars in my bags & car every time i come home catholic#(i dont even think most people know what scapulars ARE for christ's sake! & if they think they do they're probably picturing the wrong one#meanwhile i've got a routine list of hiding spots to check for them before driving away)#my point is.#if it made even a scrap of sense for any of these characters to actually be catholics trust me i'd be the FIRST one saying so#bc i know i could write the SHIT out of all the angsty repressed queer guilt religious trauma stuff everyone's drawn to it for#that's like the very least i could get out of having been up to my eyeballs in it for the first two decades of my life#but 99% of the time it just doesn't track w/ what we know about them at all im sorry.#im sorry your moodboard yearns for stained glass saints#im sorry your fic hinges upon a flashback to a certain sacrament#but im just not buying it
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my brain for the past like 2 weeks
#.txt#trigun#specifically#trimax#i am rotating her in my head always she is so fascinating to me i have so many thoughts i could write a novel#shes captivating to me. as a person#tbh her and tesla and the dependant plants as like. catalysts for so many emotions in the story but we dont get real insight into#their internal lives#and rem captivates me specifically bc shes so complicated wrt her actions with tesla but also the way she talks about leaving earth#and the idea of giving up on her home planet and putting her whole fresh start into seeds and then immediately making#the worst mistake of her life (tesla) and then starting over blank Again with vash and knives and how that all turned out#like!!!! the emotions going on there for her must be insane. i think about it Literally Constantly#and how it all ties into the mangas theme of the potential to be better vs the people you hurt before getting there#im literally obsessed with her#also she dresses like a lesbian electrician and i really like that vibe for her. im not immune#rem saverem#holding her in my hands i just think shes neat#also i have a whole incoherent google doc filled with random scenes from idk iguess the rem pov novel that lives in my brain??#maybe ill clean them up and post them one day that is a threat#also i love fat baby knives in the itty bitty manga screencap i chose. i just know hes the densest baby alive#normal looking baby who you pick up and handles like a bag of wet cement
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the shizu-chan song
youtube
just discovered the shizu-chan song by none other than johnny yong bosch. help me
id transcribe if i didnt have a final in 10 hours. maybe when i get back
oh nvm someone already wrote them out
this has similar energy as the bro duet song but like. in reverse bgskjdghjkgsd the no homo is for real
plus an animatic version and amv version because holy hell this is old
#i hear there's another shizuo song by johnny yong bosch according to the comments from 2017 but ill have to wait until yt recommends me it#anyway this makes me want to make a bro duet animatic for shizaya#which would be hilarious because. they're not bros#the ship dynamic of 'two guy best friends who maybe kiss sometimes' is very good but very not shizaya#so the spontaneous love confessions just come out of fucking nowhere during one of their fights#it would be really funny. trust#and probably better than the angst and self-denial festival i would make animating the actual shizu-chan song#i can already see the half-smiling-to-himself half-looks-like-he's-about-to-cry pining semi-regretful izaya face at the last shizu-chan#also. izaya guitar player headcanon hello#if someone can make an artist hobbyist izaya au i can make a guitar hobbyist izaya au#tbh izaya's more spontaneous and i feel like he wouldnt like all the hard work and practice time that goes into learning an instrument#like his main hobbies like parkour and switchblade throwing are stuff he gets to put into practice all the time and are more 'useful'#but instrument practice it's just him and his thoughts and callused hands for hours at a time#feel like he'd get frustrated pretty easily in that way#anyway wouldnt it be hot if izaya played the guitar LMFAOO fuck my characterization and let that man play fingerstyle#izaya playing piano is a somewhat popular headcanon anyway#god i have the worst habit of putting the entirety of my post into the tags. must be the incorrect lov joke bits spilling over#shizaya#shizuo heiwajima#izaya orihara#durarara#Youtube
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while I work on some thingies, here have lloyd in his leaked s2 gi
im not proud of this that much but I haven't posted actual art in a while so have this green boy
#i didnt like the light colours in his suit ok???#the desaturated colours are more eye candy to me#ninjago#ninjago lloyd#ninjago dragons rising#levi's art#my art#tbh#I only like how I painted his face#I'm getting better at skin#*sigh* now clothing#my worst nightmares#also I made this yesterday and had an existential crisis#which explains that one post lmao
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making a sorta wip/unfinished compilation video thing for all the vsynth projects ive sorta lost interest in/abandoned sounds like it'd be fun to do and help me clear up some space on this got damn computer but im always like uouguhhh but what if it fucking sucks :( when it comes to like actual cover stuff 😔✌️ like mannn
#delete later#uhghhhh the urge to post wips and show im not dead vs desire to remain mysterious and post whenever tf w/ no warning#the worst part is like a majority of these r also not even past the idea stage 😭#i just have so many vsqxs and vprs and usts downloaded :')) bc i just like hearing these lil fuckheads sing songs i like#but i dont like just plug n play covers. so i try to do some extra work but it usually isnt that great cause duh im not great at this shit#and ive lost interest in some of these and dont rly feel like yknow. forcing myself to work on them more if im not gonna do more w em#tho it also kinda feels sad to like delete them in having not done anything w them... so that's why i like never share wips 😭#cause in the case its something i never finish (spoiler: most things 😔) i dont wanna disappoint#people who were genuinely looking forward to it. IF that even is anyone bruh bc thats the other thing#i feel awkward abt it bc i also feel nobody rly cares abt wips theyd rather just wait and see a final version. so ee#which is like totally understandable tbh but idk 😭 its hard to keep going when motivation is low yknow so id like to share wips#in the event anyone is interested and wants me to continue. but also i like being mysterious abt what i post and nobody knowing my next mov#ughhhhh. bangs my head against the wall. get me outta here. trapped in my brain with my own ideas fucking sucksssss sometimes#i have the power to make polls i COULD make more but. idk i feel like itd get old quick. kicks rocks.#OH and one last thing it'd reveal my shit ass music taste 😂😂😭😭 hhhhhhhhfhfjfjnf#ignore me man im just being overdramatic. can anyone hear me. aughhghgh#also i GOTTA get a good tag for the technical vsynth shit for organization#or so people can block if they dont give a fuck. but i need to think of a funny one grrr
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