#one of my rules for adaptations of dracula is that they have to have a vampire dancing scene lazaar had a minute of screen time but i could

[see-arcane]

I'm going to lose my mind.

Eggers. Bobby Egg. Buddy.

No. Very much no.

[panlight]

One vampire trope that Twilight doesn't touch on at all is the "lost love reincarnated" thing. You see this a lot in Dracula adaptions especially even though it's not in the original book at all.

I'm of two minds about it. I did use reincarnation as a device in my Old Vampire Rules series but not in the 'lost love' sense. I often find it rushed, lazy and convenient in books and fic, mostly because the person always looks exactly the same which, IMO, is not what reincarnation is about it? It's about the soul, the essence, being reborn. There's literally no reason the body would look the same.

But the thing is it would fit weirdly well into Twilight lore? Especially with imprinting. I lowkey think it's kinda what SM was going for with that, but instead of the imprinter and imprintee having chosen each other in a past life, they chose each other in a pre-mortal existence like in some classic Morman literature.

And with vampires, the only way I can accept any sort of One True Mate conceit (which, IMO, isn't in canon anyway; SM says vampires can fall in love with anyone, it's just that once they are IN love, they don't ever fall out of it) is reincarnation existing, otherwise the odds of there only being One Person out there and if the immortal just misses meeting them during their brief lifetime all hope is lost is way too depressing for me. But with reincarnation on the table, then One True Mate can work for me, because if Carlisle missed out on meeting an incarnation of Esme in the 1700s and 1800s, he got another chance in the 1900s. Maybe Edward and Bella's whole thing is that she is the reincarnation of this girl he was into in his human life and the memories were lost to him in the transformation. It also solves my "why would this ancient vampire want to date this 19-year-old??" problem because it's no longer this centuries-old being drawn to a teenage, it's someone recognizing a legitimate lost love. Maybe Bella really IS an old soul and this is not her first go-around.

The other option is Fate Just Makes it Happen which, fine, can kind of dig it, but it's another thing that throws a wrench into the whole "this story is about choice" thing. If Jacob is fated to love Renesmee, then Bella had no choice but to continue the pregnancy, no choice but to choose Edward, Carlisle had no choice but to turn Edward into a vampire, the vampire who bit Carlisle had no choice but to bite him, etc etc etc. Nothing is anyone's fault because there's no free will and things had to happen this way. At least with reincarnation there's more wiggle room and maybe the timing doesn't work out in this lifetime but there's always the next one.

[canmom]

finished Carmilla. what a wonderfully silly novel that was. I need to download an ebook to count how many times Le Fanu uses the word 'languid'.

that said, reading with modern eyes, I think it's a bit of a victim of many subsequent novels elaborating on vampires, and some of the conventions of Victorian literature - in particular, the rule that the narrator has to survive in order to recount the tale, and the evil must be overthrown and tied up neatly. worse, Laura ends up an entirely passive character, with the final resolution seeing Carmilla killed by a couple of side characters, one of whom hasn't even been mentioned up to that point.

the novel is at its best when Carmilla and Laura are interacting. I would have liked to see Laura return Carmilla's affections a bit more, rather than just being like 'well that was weird' every time Carmilla lezzes it up or says something hilariously morbid. but there is definitely humour in her being very literally the straight girl.

I've seen subsequent adaptations of Carmilla, notably my friend Maki @mxmy's Dr Carmilla character, who's - at least in what is released so far - a space vampire with a habit of picking up waifs and strays and turning them into immortal pirates, something which tends to end badly for everyone. the other is (if anyone still remembers) the 2014 Carmilla web series on youtube, which is set in a college dormitory in the States, and presents Carmilla in a more positive light. in the end, I was a little surprised to find both these works take little other than the premise of 'lesbian vampire called Carmilla' and her relationship with a girl called Laura or Lorelei. the web series pulls in a few other names from the novel but completely reframes the situation, adding a new male vampire who is exploiting Carmilla to act as a villain (it was 2010s pop-feminism, you know how it goes). Dr Carmilla currently only vaguely hints at the relationship between Carmilla and Lorelei in the released songs, but involves a new apocalyptic scenario (I think that's about all I can say) - but it does at least keep Carmilla as an itinerant traveller, and keeps the tragic air of the story.

it is not entirely made clear in the novel if the waking Carmilla is aware of her vampiric excursions. it's easy to suppose while reading it that she's just a good liar who's taking them all for a ride, and I think that's still the best supported interpretation, but I think there's equally a reading where she's unaware of the whole vampire thing, and genuinely likes this daft straight girl Laura and before her, the general's daughter. if she is aware, she's really bad at covering her tracks, particularly with her disappearing act. the whole anagram schtick is explicitly named as a rule she has to operate under, but there's plenty she does to tip off her victims and their families. perhaps the point is that she's just charismatic enough to get away with it.

the character of carmilla's mother is a thread that never quite seems to get resolved. the natural assumption is that she's another vampire, dropping her daughter off in a new feeding ground - but since the ending acts like Carmilla was the only surviving vampire, I wonder if perhaps she should be taken as an illusion conjured by Carmilla, perhaps the reason she has to be sent away on a mysterious carriage ride as soon as possible in each instance?

the vampire is traditionally taken to be in part a symbol of the feudal past of cruel aristos persisting and corrupting the rational present, something that makes plenty of sense for Dracula, but in Carmilla's case, nearly every character is a castle-dwelling aristocrat of some sort, and the peasants and servants are treated as mostly beneath notice by the narrative and characters (one scene that stands out has Carmilla, feeling insulted by a trinket seller, idly talk about how in her day she'd have called for his bloody execution - a comment that seems to bother Laura very little). the main characters are even related to Carmilla's family. perhaps just a case of early iterations of an idea, not yet fully formed.

one thing I do like about Carmilla is the amount of physical affection - Carmilla is constantly touching and kissing Laura, and while Le Fanu probably didn't mean this the way we would today, it provides for strong images of sickly Carmilla draping herself all over her new object of affections, like she's acquired a new favourite doll. I can see why this is widely understood as a lesbian novel even though it's very Victorian; it's kinda dark yuri, like Carmilla is coming into the lives of these lonely girls and kind of lovebombing them with expressions of affection and devotion, and whomst among us... it would take many more decades of horny writers to really get into the eroticism of vampiric blood drinking itself though, which here largely takes place in a deniable way, while Laura is sleeping.

despite the reputation for Victorian novels to be long and rambling, this was a rather brisk book. I honestly wish it was a bit longer - a very obvious addition would be a chance for Laura to talk to Carmilla once she's finally figured out the vampire thing, instead of rushing to the ending. it seemed Le Fanu was more interested in explaining vampires (fucked up amirite), which makes sense for the time, but nowadays we all know what the deal is with vampires and instead the core relationship is the interesting part. ah well! it's worth the time to read.

[jessequinnfirstofhername]

The Rules:

Every twenty-four hours there will be another round. After every round, the character in last place will be eliminated.

If there are multiple characters tying for last place, there will be a special elimination round. In these rounds, every character in last place will be eliminated, even if all the characters have tied equally.

When there are only two characters remaining, they will face off against one another in a week-long poll to determine the victor.

If the character that you consider the hottest isn’t listed here, hit the ‘what about ___???’ option and reply to this post with the overlooked character. The character with the highest 'write-in’ votes will be added to the next round. Unless the 'what about ___???’ option is the least voted for, in which case it will be eliminated. Welcome to the party, Dracula and Henry Fitzroy!

I'm counting hybrids and dhampirs as vampires. My poll, my rules.

If you're looking for the hottest vampiress poll, it'll be on my blog, right next to this one.

This is all for fun. Don’t take it too seriously ;)

This one hurts, Spike was my first vampire love :'(

...can't think why. Must've been all that depth of character.

We're already in the semi-finals! Cast your votes wisely!

Round Eleven!

[witchofthemidlands]

i would give anything. ANYTHING for a prequel or a sequel featuring matthew goode as dracula where he gets to play probably the greatest modern dracula but with flashbacks to see how he turned abigail to portray the count dracula we know from the book. i know in my soul it would be a masterpiece. they cannot expect to cast the man who adapted matthew de clermont so perfectly that it felt like that was the matthew from the books as a version of count dracula & not expect people (me, i am the people) to lose their minds over it. 🤩 that extra 40 seconds or so of content or lazaar on the dvd should not have been cut.

it's past 3am idc anymore. he was hinted but not officially named & was has less than 10 minutes of screen time but in my opinion matthew goode is the best modern version of dracula i have seen in YEARS.

[transmasculinizing]

HIP HIP HOORAY! THE COUNCIL HAS SPOKEN USING THE LANGUAGE OF HEART BUTTON. iv permission to be annoying!

so this has been brought to my attention after seeing the reaction to the new robin movie announcement. elseworlds has really fucked up dc fans understanding of how adaptations work im so serious.

im not saying this bc elseworlds stories r bad. quite the opposite i love these comics (batman n dracula trilogy u changed my brain chemistry ily bbgrl) no im entirely talking about elseworlds as a brand. i am talking about how these stories r marketed bc it has done irreparable damage im thinking.

so the thing about dc? they want u to know what a characters whole deal is. batmans real name is bruce wayne and hes a rich orphan who protects gotham city. superman is an alien whose planet blew up and he landed in kansas as a baby where he was given the name clark kent and was raised on a farm then he moved to metropolis to become a reporter. these characters have a certain way they hav to be and their stories r supposed to be. if ur adaptation of the story strays to far from this no problem we'll just label it as elseworlds. except not really they dont always do that.

case in point: the new robin movie that was literally just announced and doesnt even have a trailer yet. yeah well theyre making jason and dick around the same age. people cant be normal about this. "oh this will be so many peoples first introduction to the characters and this isnt how theyre supposed to be!" calm down. this is an all new version of the characters we havnt seen before. the point of an adaptation is not to be identical to the original. at that point just read the original. what do i mean by this? well-

another large franchise i love is godzilla. literally the only thing the godzilla movies and shows have in common is they have a giant lizard in them. you dont need to know what this guys whole deal is to call yourself a fan. do i highly recommend u watch the original 1954 movie and learn a bit about the history of the franchise if u got into it through some of the more recent godzilla media? yes but obviously i cant force u to do any of that. a lot of these movies straight up do not take place in the same universe. theyre different godzillas. one godzilla isnt "destroying" peoples perception of what godzilla is because its different from the original movie that has a completely different godzilla.

none the less before people jump to conclusions i want to make 1 thing clear: learn the rules before you break them. there have been changes made to the story before that i think r disrespectful to what the 1954 movie originally was. its easy to skim past if u dont know the characters history. for example in godzilla king of the monsters 2019 (and im not dunking on u if u like the movie bc i do also. that doesnt mean im not above criticizing it however) they have the only Japanese character get killed off by using a nuclear weapon to awaken godzilla.in this usamerican adaptation.of a movie that was made.as a metaphor for the bombings of Hiroshima.yeah that is a major yikes.

so yeah this is what i mean when i say learn the rules before you break them. it can be obvious that u either dont like what ur adapting or missing the point or just straight up havnt watched or read it none the less one adaptation doing things differently doesnt automatically mean its disrespecting the source material.

i think dc really shoots itself in the foot by making it so you have to know what every characters whole deal is and if u stray to far from that its labeled elseworlds. then when something isnt labeled as elseworlds fans get pissed at how inaccurate it is. monsterverse isnt marketed as "an alternate universe where godzilla is a million year old alien" its just godzilla. now u could say comparing this to godzilla is unfair because hes barely a character. hes a giant lizard and directors r supposed to play around with him like a barbie doll. so heres another comparison that ive already made a bunch

in mainline tmnt idw comics the turtles r reincarnated from a bunch of kids in medieval japan. this is not in any other version. in mutant mayhem the turtles go to school. this isnt in any other version. adaptations usually flip back and forth on if splinter is mutated hamato yoshi or hamato yoshi's mutated pet rat. the 4 main turtles personalities vary widely depending on adaptation bc "leader, angry, smart and funny" arent personality traits so much as they r quirks. depending on how old someone is they might have a different idea of what the lore of tmnt is if they arent super into the franchise and only know the show/movies/comics they grew up with. this is really not a big deal at all. two people having different ideas of what a character is like bc they were exposed to them from different adaptations is not as big of a deal as dc fans pretend it is. before the the tim burton movies a lot of peoples perception of batman came from the 66 show and that 1 is.very different from how the average joe would think of batman today. and that wasnt the end of the world either! again people can and should learn the history of these stories but complaining about how bad a version of the story a newcomer might like is bc its not like the one u like isnt going to make them wanna look deeper into the franchise. we should be calmly approaching these newer fans and giving recommendations and reading list if they show interest in a character or story

like literally there is a lot of criticism u could make about yjtv but it boils my blood how much bad faith criticism iv seen that can just be summarized as "this is not how this character should be". because i guess there r just definitive versions of characters now

look im not even saying if an adaptation is different u still have to like it. i actually hate a lot of adaptations bc theyre different from what i like. but the opposite is also true. there r adaptations i like bc what they do differently. something being different doesnt automatically make it good or bad is what im trying to say so now that brings us back to elseworlds.like not sorry it shouldve stayed dead.not the stories just the name elseworlds. i really dont like dc bringing back elseworlds. the whole concept just feels creatively limiting. these are just different continuities and should be treated as such. there being a certain way a story should be written and having to warn people if u stray to far away from that story and getting yelled at if u dont is what i mean! do u see the issue here am i making sense

[kolbisneat]

MONTHLY MEDIA: July 2024

I read a lot more than I was expecting this month but I ain't complaining. Here's how I spent the month of July!

……….FILM……….

Evil Dead II (1987) Didn't love Evil Dead (not that it's not good, I just get too spooked by straight horror) but had no idea that this would be what it is. Puppets and stop motion! Looney Tune antics! Magic with rules! This is my kinda movie and I'm baffled the modern films in the franchise don't try for this sort of energy.

Poor Things (2003) It took a while for me to settle into this, but around the time Dafoe's Godwin explains Bella's condition, I was all in. It's a dreamlike movie with dreamlike logic so despite some of the discourse I tried not to take too much of it literally. Beautiful and far funnier than I expected.

……….TELEVISION……….

Columbo (Episode 1.04 to 1.07) Gosh I love the era of television where each episode was self-contained. Episode 7 features Columbo smoking in a doctor's office and I was not at all expecting him to comment on the dangers of tobacco, but he did! I notice this first season only had a handful of episodes with the classic "oh one more thing" schtick so I'm curious if that pops up more in later seasons.

Scavenger's Reign (Episode 1.01 to 1.12) This is a show where I sit down, turn it on, and while the beautiful opening credits play, think, "I wonder what horrifying imagery is gonna f*** me up this episode?" The animation and design are sooooooo good that it made up for the occasionally baffling writing. Please go watch it so a second season can get greenlit.

Bridgerton (Episode 3.05 to 3.08) I missed a few eps there in the middle but it all worked. That final party, and all that went with it (the speech, the bugs, the reveal of who paid for it) was 10/10. Good stuff.

……….YOUTUBE……….

Yoko and The Beatles by Lindsay Ellis Yoko Ono didn't break up the Beatles. And while this video essay expands on the factors that DID split up the band, it's also a really great dive into the weight of fame and the weight of fame on women. VIDEO

Was starting a product business a mistake? by Simone Giertz An honest and detailed insight into the dream vs. reality of small business and internet fame. Looks like it's going to be a full series and I'm looking forward to more. VIDEO

……….READING……….

N or M by Agatha Christie (Complete) Spy Thriller set during the Second World War? With a husband/wife spy duo? Oh heck yeah. Sometimes I find the clues to be a little convoluted/unnecessarily obscure but this one struck a great balance of visible but easily forgettable.

The Knight of the Swords by Michael Moorcock (Complete) Having first read the comic adaptation (penciled by Mike Mignola!) I now realize some of my issues (pacing, understanding the abstract) work better in novel form. An elevated pulp adventure that has some great ironic twists.

Sherlock Holmes vs. Dracula or The Adventure of the Sanguinary Count by Loren D. Estleman (Complete) Thrift find purchased based on the premise alone. Exactly what you'd expect but not much beyond that. It's at its best when you get Dracula directly interacting with Holmes and/or Watson.

Spider-Verse by Dan Slott, Christos N. Gage, Mike Costa, Dennis Hopeless, and many many more (Complete) Really enjoyed reading this but am baffled by its production. Why the issues aren't collected in chronological order, I'll never know. I know the book is over ten years old now but the writing (especially all of the Spider-Women) really stands out as...not great. All but the Superior Spider-Man essentially sound the same (perhaps the point?) but Gwen and Jess and Cindy mostly talk about things like body image and pheromones and it's glaring. I'm curious what I'll think upon a second readthrough (reading in order, and after the first wave of nostalgia has completely rinsed off) but I definitely think this story walked so the movies could break the speed of sound.

The Unbeatable Squirrel Girl Beats Up the Marvel Universe! by Ryan North and Erica Henderson (Complete) North's writing and Henderson's artwork are the perfect blend for such a bright and enthusiastic character. Unbeatable Squirrel Girl is such a great series (which I gotta go back and finish) and this is an equally great introduction to the character.

Superior Foes of Spider-Man Vol 1 by by Nick Spencer, Marcos Martin, and Steve Leiber (Complete) I was really excited for this series (the premise! the cover art!) but the pacing, humour, and art just didn't connect. Honestly really bummed that I didn't like this more.

……….AUDIO……….

3D6 Down the Line (Podcast) A nice change of pace from the modern D&D games I play in. They use Old School Essentials for their system (more akin to 2nd Edition D&D) and play with a mindset similar to the 70s style of play (treasure for experience, everything is lethal). I'm still having trouble distinguishing some of the voices from each other, but it's a great listen.

……….GAMING……….

Oz: A Fantasy Role-Playing Setting (Andrews McMeel Publishing) Tuesday crew watched a peaceful inauguration and gained notoriety for saving a neighbourhood from roaming monsters (you can read all about it here!) and the Mof1 crew is dabbling in dangerous contracts with dangerous people (all for a cap that controls the winged monkeys).

And that's it. See you in August!

[thenightling]

Someone finally asked me the golden question. How would I have handled Universal's Dark Universe.

Disclaimer: If someone sees this and likes my ideas, you may use them for free. No consultation or acknowledgement required. Just do justice to my boo boys.

Well, I would stop so blatantly trying to make it the MCU. It's not the MCU. And don't be afraid of a little camp. These are the classic monsters after all.

Time period. Start in the past and then WORK your way to the present. Don't force all of it to be set in the present from the get go. Let the audience feel and understand these are immortal beings. You can even make it a surreal, timeless, fairy tale-like setting that just resembles the nineteenth century. Most people use generic medieval for fantasy settings but Gaslamp fantasy is a thing.

2. Start with the most well-known of the monsters. Do Dracula. It can be a book faithful adaptation, or something along the lines of Bela Lugosi or Frank Langella. I think general audiences like Dracula to be fierce and predatory but also somewhat romantic, that's why the Mina / Dracula romance has endured even though it deviates heavily from the novel. So let Dracula be romantic but do something unexpected and fresh with it.

Honestly I'd love an adaptation of Fred Saberhagen's The Dracula Tape (Dracula retold from Dracula's point of view). But I know they'd want to stick with the public domain version.

Let Dracula have his literary powers to take wolf, bat, and mist form, and conjure storms. Let him be able to walk by day but not able to shapeshift by day. Bela Lugosi's version didn't actually burn in the sun until the sequels anyway and that was only from mimicking Nosferatu (1922).

Either leave out the reincarnated wife concept all together or let the reincarnation be someone other than Mina. Dr. Van Helsing (a male or female version) or even Jonathan Harker could make for an interesting twist. Lots of depictions of Dracula are bisexual now and this would be something fresh for the universal version.

3. When doing Frankenstein stop trying to recreate the Karloff version "for modern audiences." Let's try the literary version for a change. Long black hair, no neck-bolts or green skin, let him be articulate. And don't go for "steampunk action figure. " (I'm looking at you, Van Helsing.)

Let each classic monster have their own setting and time period. Dracula gets 1891 since that's when his novel takes place, unless you do a fifteenth century origin or fifteenth century flashbacks in the nineteenth century. Frankenstein is late eighteenth century or very early nineteenth century.

You can get more free with the concept if you do a Frankenstein sequel. Think 1985's The Bride but the male creature is intelligent and articulate too.

4. With Wolfman go old school. Practical effects in the style of Rick Baker. Get Guerrero del Toro involved with these somehow. That man knows how to handle classic monsters. Remember the rules, and acknowledge that he's mostly immortal and can regenerate. Everyone forgets this.

5. Have Danny Elfman do the music. I know he's already doing the Dark Universe park music but let him do ALL the music. Trust the man. Have you heard his score to Sleepy Hollow? Just let him do his thing.

6. Don't treat each film like a commercial for the next or hinted team up. Just let the films be able to stand on their own at first. That's how the Uniersal Monster movies started originally. You can let one or two characters turn up in multiple films but don't be ham fisted about it like with some of what was in 2017's The Mummy.

7. When you finally do allow the team up go watch the Asylum's Monster Mash (2024) first.

I'm serious. Hell, buy the movie from The Asylum to do a high budget remake but add about twenty minutes to it so The Creature from the Black Lagoon can be added too. It's cheesy but its fun. Let them be dysfunctional would-be heroes. Let have What we do in the Shadows-like moments without being too cynical and insulting and mocking the very idea.

By this point you already made the monsters scary but with some potential for redemption, compassion, and tenderness. Let them organically evolve from brooding villains and anti-heroes to surprisingly competent heroes but let it happen organically.

You can even get organic diversity. The mummy is from Egypt (North Africa), the witch is Roma (and possibly a previous lover of Dracula's daughter), The Creature from the Black Lagoon is from South America, etc. Again, get Guillermo del Toro involved. The Shape of Water was pretty much Creature from the Black Lagoon with a happy ending for The Creature anyway. An Abe Sapien-esque version of The Creature from the Black Lagoon would be great.

I forgot to say who the main antagonist would be in my version of The Dark Universe. Possibly a mad scientist like Doctor Moreau, Doctor Pretorius, or a faction of vampires who want to dethrone Dracula from his self-appointed title as king of the vampires. There's nothing in Stoker's novel or the Universal movies that claim he's the first vampire but he's commonly depicted as king of the vampires simply because no one had thought to unite and lead all of them until him.

[suspiciouslackofclowns]

“Pizza’s on the way,” Eddie announces. He flops down on the sofa, crashing right into Billy’s side and smiling when the little outburst goes unnoticed. “I got mushrooms and cherry tomatoes like you like.”

Without looking up from his book, Billy hums. Turns the page gently while Eddie noses a kiss against his cheek.

“Did you get plain cheese for Stevie?” Billy asks.

“Yup, with stuffed crusts.”

Billy nods once. Zones back into his book, if the way that his breathing softens is any indication. Eddie scoots closer. Glances at the page and implements the five finger rule that Billy showed him — and determines before he’s even halfway down that this book is way over his head.

“Dude, what kind of Old Testament shit is this?”

It takes Billy a moment to finish the sentence that he’s reading before his eyes stop skimming back and forth.

“The Vampyre by John Polidori,” Billy says. “It’s the original vampire novel.”

“I thought Dracula was the original vampire.”

Billy taps the page lightly with his thumb.

“This was like seventy years before Bram Stoker’s Dracula was published. Stoker’s novel is actually considered an adaptation of this one.”

Eddie nods. Leans his head against Billy’s shoulder and wraps his arms around him.

“Then why not just read Dracula?”

“Because I’m reading it next.”

“God, you’re such a goth, y’know that?”

A small smile blooms on Billy’s face as he shakes his head.

“I don’t listen to the music.”

“C’mon, I’ve heard you bopping to Siouxsie and the Banshees before.”

“One of Max’s mixes,” Billy excuses.

“The Cure?”

“Jonathan left his tape in my car and I haven’t given it back yet.”

There’s a slight pause. Eddie sits up enough to look at his partner, quirking a brow.

“Since when do you hang around Byers?”

Billy purses his lips.

“I don’t. He works part-time at the library.”

“He’s showing you music in your car.” Eddie spreads a grin and Billy’s face begins to burn a flustered shade of red. “You have a little crush on him, don’t you?” When Billy doesn’t say anything, Eddie snickers. “You definitely have a type, that’s all I’m saying.”

“No I don’t.”

“No you don’t have a crush on him or no you don’t have a type?”

Billy huffs and waves Eddie off with his hand.

“Either.”

“Lanky brunets,” Eddie lilts. “Typically of the brooding persuasion.”

“You do not brood, Munson, you’re the most bubbly motherfucker on the planet.”

“That’s why I said typically, babe, let’s try and keep up.” Eddie nuzzles closer and chews his lip. “Y’know, mostly based on Steve and Jonathan. Maybe a little bit of Hagan.”

“You’re putting way too much thought into this.”

“There’s definitely a pattern, wouldn’t you say? Lanky brunets…” Eddie wonders. “Brooding, pale skin, brown eyes…”

Billy’s eyes stay locked on the page that he hasn’t finished reading yet, jaw set as Eddie tippy-taps his fingers against the blond’s chest.

“Is your type just… vampires?” Eddie muses.

“Energy vampires, maybe,” Billy grumbles. He dog-ears the page and finally shuts his book, laying it in his lap. “But no.”

Eddie chuckles. Flattens his hand against Billy’s sternum and smooths his palm back and forth.

“Seems like it to me.”

“This may surprise you, but I’m not so shallow that I only care about looks.”

“So…” Eddie trails off. “There’s an outlier.”

“Edd—“

“Who is it?”

“I’m not doing this right now.”

“You’re my boyfriend, you’re contractually obligated to tell me about your hot man crushes.”

Billy presses his lips together and doesn’t budge when Eddie tries to shake an answer out of him. Eddie is about to start more roughly demanding when the doorbell rings, and it derails his train of thought long enough for Billy to slip away from him.

The blond jumps up from his seat to answer the door, practically ripping the door off of its hinges when he opens it. Light pours into the entryway, obstructed by a tall figure.

“Thanks for ordering Surfer Boy Pizza where we make everything fresh except…” the voice trails off momentarily, nearly cut off by the bubbly laugh that exits the guy’s lips. “‘Sup, lil’ dude!”

A hand shoots out to fist bump Billy, which he barely reacts fast enough to reciprocate. Still, the blond spreads a dopey little smile.

“Hey, Argyle,” he greets. Soft, for how flustered he is.

“Man, I didn’t know you lived right here or I would’ve been hopping the fence for backyard smoke seshes.”

Billy fishes his wallet out of his pocket.

“Yeah, it’s kind of a new situation. Still getting settled.” Which is technically true if you count the box that’s been sitting unpacked in the corner for two weeks. “You should still come by sometime, though. When, uh… you’re not working, obviously.”

“Def!” Argyle says. “That’ll be fourteen fifty, bro.”

Billy digs in his wallet for a moment before he slaps a couple of bills in the other guy’s hand, which he trades the pizza for.

“Keep the change.”

Argyle furrows his brows.

“You gave me thirty.”

“Then I guess you have some extra cash for snacks when we hang out,” Billy lilts.

Argyle nods. Spreads a grin as he pockets the cash and fist bumps Billy once more.

“Sweet,” he says, and turns on his heel. “I’ll be seeing you around, lil’ dude!”

Billy waves briefly before he kicks the door shut, turning to walk into the kitchen and stopping in his tracks when he sees Eddie smirking at him from the couch.

The blond’s face turns ten different shades of red in a matter of seconds.

“The pizza guy, huh?” Eddie teases. “I see it.”

“I haven’t seen him much since I left Cali, alright? He just moved in with Jonathan and I haven’t had time to visit.”

“Right.”

Billy shifts his weight on his feet, furrowing his brows.

“Am I under investigation or something?”

“Nerds.”

“What?”

“Nerds. That’s your type. You like ‘em kinda dorky and way too interested in their hobbies.”

Billy scoffs.

“Stevie isn’t a nerd.”

“He’s a sports guy. You can twist it how you want, but he’s a nerd about it.”

“Tommy, then.”

“Too into cars.”

“Jon— actually, I understand that one, but Argyle is definitely not a nerd.”

Eddie chuckles and leans his elbow against the armrest, setting his chin in his hand thereafter.

“How many weed strands can that guy name? More than I can, and I can name a lot.” Eddie clicks his tongue when Billy has no counter argument. “Plus, he’s super passionate about his job. He talked my ear off about toppings for twenty minutes one time when I called in.”

Billy sighs. Sets the pizza down on the counter and crosses his arms, clearly working things over in his head. Eddie gets up in the meantime and strolls over. Gently pushes a stray curl out of Billy’s face before he laces his arms around his neck.

“Jokes aside, I think it’s nice that you like so many different people.”

Blue eyes meet his, and Billy softens. Sets his hands on Eddie’s hips.

“Yeah?”

“Mhm, I mean, you have lots of love to give, y’know? Of course it’s spilling over, sweetheart. Your cup is full.”

Billy chews his lip thoughtfully.

“I never looked at it that way before.”

Eddie leans closer. Kisses the corner of his partner’s mouth while he toys with a lock of his hair, soft to the touch and free of product.

“Glad my ramblings were of use to you,” Eddie chuckles. “Wanna have a sit-down with sleeping beauty after dinner? Talk some strats for getting you out of the friend zone?”

“I dunno if I wanna do that.”

“I’m pretty sure Steve’s had the hots for Tommy for a while now, so maybe we can knock everything out all at once.”

Billy raises an eyebrow.

“You’re not crushing on anyone? I might have to do some digging on you too, Munson, mister hopeless romantic.”

“I’m fine with bothering you two for eternity. I’m actually making it my life’s goal as we speak.”

“Of course you are.”

Billy ropes him closer, pulls him up to his tippy toes so he can press his lips to his neck — one of Eddie’s many, many weaknesses.

One of the others is, unfortunately, being manhandled. Even though Billy is gentle, it sends a thrill down Eddie’s spine when he’s lifted effortlessly.

“Want me to pay you back for the pizza?” Eddie breathes.

He makes a surprised noise when a large hand squeezes his ass.

“Keep your money, baby,” Billy lilts. Low and affectionate and now Eddie is the one getting flustered. “Wanna go wake Stevie up so we can eat and have our little discussion?”

Eddie nods. Shudders when Billy mouths at his throat and holds him ever closer.

“Yeah…” he manages.

Then Billy releases him. Let’s his socked feet touch the floor once again before he’s patting his behind and ushering him out of the kitchen.

Eddie has this sneaking suspicion that they’re gonna do way more than talk after they eat.

[the-crow-binary]

Alright, it's time.

As someone who is pro-"adaptations should differ in some ways from the original material" because that's basically the definition of "adaptation", NFCV is a good example of the limit it has to have. Or, at least, the limits I have.

When one wants to adapt a story from one media to another, sacrifices are bound to be made. Changes are meant to happen. You cannot put, in your adaptation, every single detail the original material had. It would be too long, you need to choose the most important parts of the original media in order to make it shine properly. Wich means some characters will have to be erased, some plots too, all in order for the adaptation to offer a fluent and enjoyable experience for everyone. Even those who already know the original material. Of course, those people will sometimes feel sad about a part or a character they really liked but didn't see in the adaptation... but that doesn't make the adaptation bad.

In my opinion, what makes an adaptation good, is when it respects the core of the original work. It can be many things (and it's multifactorial). The message it wants to pass on, it's universe, it's characters, it's lore... it varies from work to work (you can have work focusing on a main character's story, in this case making an adaptation without this character doesn't make sense. It can be a work telling the stories of a world, in this case, with no main protagonist, an adaptation can change the characters...). You can add many changes to a work you are adapting to a new media (or new audience), but it stops being a faithful or "good" adaptation the moment you erase the core of the original work.

And that's why Netflixvania is not a good adaptation.

Ignoring the questionable writing, the "CHURCH BAD" theme, the overdose of curses and gross dialogues (and so many other nasty writing stuff)... Netflixvania misses the point of the franchise it's adapting entirely. And the few easter eggs here and there are not enough to make up for it.

You can make Alucard bisexual. You can make the Belmont clan a noble family in Trevor's era. You can make Isaac black. Those are details that does not affect the core of the franchise. It might make a few grind their teeth, but that's all. No, the problems go way deeper than that.

Castlevania's core is it's themes. It's lore. Castlevania is the story of a seemingly endless cycle of revenge, tragedy and wars. Of generational trauma, with the Belmonts fated to hunt the night and kill Dracula centuries after centuries with no escape. It's this theme of having to fight evil all the time because it will never truly go away, with or without the Belmont clan. Dracula is not just a vampire king ruling over vampires, he's the Demon King. He's the Dark Lord. He's Chaos personified, with Death as his servant and confidant. He rules over so much more than just vampires (and there is more than two humans who swore their lives to him). And he brought this fate upon himself.

The Belmonts are not just a clan. They are humanity's symbol of hopes, dreams and strenghth. They are total opposites to and complete Dracula. The Belmont-Dracula duality is essential to the Castlevania franchise. They are the pillars of Castlevania.

What themes does NFCV has? Church bad. Humans bad. Christianity dumb. A bit of father-son tragedy.

The only common theme is this father-son tragedy, but it is barely touched (we don't even have the time to fully appreciate Dracula and Alucard's relationship before and after they first fought.) and it became one of the main themes of the cartoon. And it would've been fine... if the adaptation didn't threw out the window what made Castlevania Castlevania in the same breath.

Trevor doesn't have any duality with Dracula here. We barely mention the fact Leon went to Transylvania to hunt Dracula down. We don't feel any deep connection, when in the games, Leon was literally Dracula's friend. They worked together, fought together, they were unstoppable together, and when Mathias turned, he offered Leon eternity by his side. He cared deeply. And Leon decided... no. His own morals, his dead betrothed's wishes, they came first. And so came these lines from Leon:

"You have become a cursed being and I will never forgive you. This whip and my kinsmen will destroy you someday. From this day on, the Belmont Clan will hunt the night."

And this is why Trevor had to be the one to kill Dracula. Alucard still could've had his tragic moment, seeing his father dying by the hands of his friend is really messed up, and it would've make a potential SoTN adaptation where he would have to kill Dracula by himself this time more powerful (we'll get to Nocturne in due time.). But it isn't what happened. Trevor barely participated in the fight. It was a Dracula VS Alucard starring Trevor and Sypha.

Trevor isn't Dracula's friend, but this promise, this curse Leon put on his own family so long ago, it created a kind of bond beetween Dracula and Belmonts that would last for centuries. I talked about them, about how deep it goes, here and here. Dracula created the Belmonts as they are now. The Belmonts created Dracula as he is now, too.

NFCV doesn't care about that. NFCV turned Dracula into a vampire lord not even capabe of keeping his own generals in line. NFCV belittled the Belmont clan's importance (one brief scene where the court (mostly Carmilla) is like "oh, what, a Belmont? one of those vampire hunters? alive? wtf" is not enough). NFCV belittled Trevor himself (a few nice-looking fight scenes is not enough). It belittled the Vampire Killer (the most powerful Castlevania weapon, created with alchemy and infused with the soul of Leon's betrothed. there is so much tragic story potential around this weapon alone). It belittled EVERYTHING it took from the games. And I haven't even touch Isaac and Hector (they deserve their own post), who have been done so, so dirty.

NFCV ignored so many things that gave Castlevania his identity that it just became it's own thing, wich butcher the franchise's name. So many NFCV fans don't know the games even exist, or mix it up with the cartoon when they have little to nothing in common (Lords of Shadow had more in common than NFCV. And it was not insulting to the OG universe). And let's not get started on people praising the show for being "better" and how some character got "improved" when in reality, it's written by people who don't get said characters or games and stop at the surface. Just like they stop at NFCV's surface. That's why they think it's good. (loving a show doesn't mean said show is good, sorry)

I used to think "it's okay if the adaptation is not faithful, as long as it's good/enjoyable". And you know what? This kind of mentality is what lead to NFCV. I no longer stand by it. (maybe I should thank NFCV for making me see my limits)

And that's not because I'm a purist. As I said earlier, I'm all for adaptations making changes. But I am also all for respecting the source material as well ("respecting" just doesn't mean "doing everything exactly the way it was originally" to me, unlike... way too much people). And NFCV is not.

And as a show itself, ignoring the "adaptation" part? It's not that great either. If you get critical and think deeper about things, you'll start to see everything that is wrong. It's easier to ignore the problems and enjoy the parts you do like when you don't know the games. It's almost impossible to do when you do know and love the games. When you need to turn off your brain to truly enjoy a show, it's not the proof of a great writing.

But oh... That is only the first Netflixvania. :) This far, you can actually call it faithful to the games, compared to the soon to air Nocturne. :) (it actually hurts me to say)

You cannot look at the trailer and pretend it's even trying to be Castlevania. It's an original work who stole Castlevania's name and characters. With the first serie, you could've use the first, maybe the second season to pretend it was trying but "oh, the games don't have enough story to adapt" (shitty excuse btw). But here? Oh, no. No no no. It is NOT trying anything.

It happens during the french revolution, it seems it's gonna tackle racism and slavery (I do NOT trust the show to portray the french revolution correctly. nor racism. nor anything). Richter's tragedy is apparently going to revolve around the death of his mother, so you can say bye bye to the whole generational trauma and the weight of centuries of his family hunting Dracula (since it's not where NFCV went to begin with) and protecting the world now being on his shoulder and how it affects his psyche and- I mean DAMN. That is such a DOWNGRADE. But it's only the trailer. We'll have to wait for the whole season to air to see how bad it truly is. But I do not trust them to make Richter, one of the most beloved Castlevania characters, shine the way he deserves. I do not trust them to make Castlevania shine at all. Nothing this far can make a games' fan think of said games (probably because it's not for the games' fans.)

But we know it won't be about Richter anyway. Just like NFCV, it will be about everyone but the Belmont of the show. I mean it's logic, since it's the way NFCV went. At least that's coherent.

And everyone knows the sole reason why they went from ""CV3"" to ""RoB/SotN"" directly is because of Alucard, the true main character of NFCV. The trailer just dropped and you already have people asking where Alucard is.

There is so much details I could rant about. But this isn't about details (nor ranting, really). This isn't about every little thing that only makes the cartoon even more of an insult to the games (even if those details, piling up, ARE important). This is about the bigger picture. This is about Castlevania's heart getting crippled and shat on in favor of a pseudo-mature show getting off to his pseudo-deepness.

Games and shows are different medias and thus, are bound to have different ways to tell their stories. One is not lesser than the other. The Castlevania games have a story. It has a lore. It has themes. It's character have personnalities. But it's not a cartoon. It cannot show it by literally making the characters talking about how deep they are. They can't make cutscenes just to tell "I have a tragic backstory". It has to be shown in more subtle ways. It uses the decors. It uses the way the characters stand, or walk, or attack. It exploits the few cutscenes and dialogues to tell the most important informations. And yes, sometimes, it has to use the manual to give infos about the lore or characters. That is not a lesser way to do so. It's a way to adapt to the games' limits in order to tell their story. (also, CoD literally have two mangas to it's name. make your choice on wich version you like most)

There is so, so much potential in Castlevania. And if you get into the games, if you play them, if you just read the wiki or look at the posts of people talking about the lore, the characters, the games and analyzing them, you'll know... NFCV is a waste of an adaptation.

[strangestcase]

My ideas for a League of Extraordinary Gentlemen theatrical musical which will never come to reality:

-based off the movie (if loosely) because the comics would be a pain to adapt

-also the songs would really help hiding the writing issues

-Mina’s actress wears a secret contraption that stretches into bat wings on command, and special makeup that highlights her features under certain types of light- thus allowing her to go Dracula mode onstage. She also gets costumes she can take off in one piece so that as her character develops she gradually ditches a more traditional Victorian getup for a modern, goth outfit.

-the Invisible Man is played by an actor in a bodysuit wearing a removable mask and moving puppet arms around (which represent face makeup and gloves respectively). To become invisible he simply drops them and moves around the stage, as other actors pretend they can’t see him.

-Hyde is a large stage puppet maneuvered by various actors, with Jekyll’s actor moving his face and providing his voice. The transformations consist of Jekyll simply entering or leaving his place in the puppet, the other puppeteers building it up around him or removing key pieces. And the mirror scenes are done with projections and pre-recorded audio.

-Lots of Puppets just. So Many Many Puppets. For the Nautilus for the Phantom’s men for Dante for all that sea life etc

As for the music:

-cheesy intro number on the line of “deviation from the norm will be punished unless its exploitable”

-We need at least one (1) sad song about Mina’s tragic backstory, or rather how she feels about it. Not very good this is.

-she also is given the role of protagonist back

-Jekyll is going to be framed as her love interest through and through btw. Same as Dorian. Tom already has his getting adopted by Allan arc. Literally a YA love triangle but they’re all goth middle aged queens.

-listen this is my idea so I make the rules

-EPIC NEMO THEME -the hunt for Hyde becomes a short but catchy dance sequence.

-The Nautilus is introduced with a HUGE high level song worthy of a Bollywood musical with the aforementioned sea life puppets. Please ignore how incredibly dark the lyrics are.

-YES I KNOW THOSE MOMENTS ARE LITERALLY BACK TO BACK IN THE MOVIE. I’LL FIND A WAY TO SPACE THEM OUT.

-Mina and Dorian MUST have a duet that makes it into Lovers To Enemies To Lovers To Enemies playlists I SWEAR TO GOD.

-Confrontation 2

-Jekyll and Hyde literally have Confrontation 2

-Captain Nemo is going to get a solo song about his past and his motivations and here he should figure out M first, like in the comics (Allan has more of a mentor role / common thread between the other characters)

-Dorian Gray villain song complete with a little dance! A jaunty little gothic vaudeville song that uses his motif (which will sound whenever he’s onstage)

-Moriarty doesn’t dance because he thinks he’s above dancing but he does sing. He also has a villain song but it’s way more serious than Dorian’s

-Allan doesn’t sing a single line until the last song (as he’s dying)

the musical ends with Mina becoming the new leader of the League and getting her final costume change which will include a question mark motif as a nod to the original comics

And then intro number reprise but with a more tongue in cheek cynical tint and a final hopeful note. I need people to come out of the theater as full blown anarchists.

[see-arcane]

Thinking about how Jonathan Harker’s role as the haunted vampire hunter-archenemy has been so thoroughly pushed onto Van Helsing's shoulders. Annoying as it is to see in so many adaptations and spinoffs, I can’t help King Laughing about both the comedic and dramatic potential of this misconception as it would apply to future supernatural shenanigans post-Dracula canon

Specifically, how hilarious and/or advantageous it would be to

Have would-be enemies getting bamboozled by one of Dr. Abe’s monologues, as per rambling banter rule, only to have some soft-spoken solicitor drop off the wall behind them and kukri them in half without a word. Or,

Have our good friend Jonathan Harker constantly getting approached by people with a bad case of the Horrors, said people assuming the white-haired, haunted-eyed, knife-wielding, vampiric vendetta fellow must surely be the famous Abraham van Helsing who—by way of a game of Victorian telephone is assumed to have—‘spent a season in close quarters with a horde of vampires, injured the latter without even a holy item on his person, scaled a mountainside and traversed the Carpathians barefoot, and sent Count Dracula himself running after nearly splitting him in two..!’

All while Jonathan ‘Only Assertive Under Duress’ Harker is just sitting there, politely waiting for the chance to speak up and say, no, actually, that professor over there is Abraham van Helsing. His name is Jonathan H—

“Oh, Jonathan van Helsing? My apologies. Was it your father who did all that?”

Jonathan, sweating: “um—"

Van Helsing, not immune to a Good Bit: “No, no, it was him! My child, do not be shy on the matter of your so many harrowing feats! He brings such pride to the Van Helsing name.” :)

Jonathan, internally: (Why this???)

Mina, internally: (It keeps our name out of the wind and away from snooping supernatural ears, darling. I’d rather Mary not open the door on an angry undead horde because they knew where to find Mr. and Mrs. Harker.)

Mina, out loud, the Power of Prank Compels Her: “He really is too modest.” <3

I just think it’s a gimmick that could get some good mileage as a misdirection ploy and a feasible in-universe excuse for why Van Helsing keeps getting all the Dracula Nemesis credit

[serial-serializednovelreader]

Hmm, let's see...

Jonathon Harker, Mina Harker, Kate Wetherall, Mr. Benedict, Doug Eiffel, and/or Renée Minkowski!

Whichever one(s) you want to answer I'd be happy to see! I hope you're having a good day <3

2. A canon or headcanon hill I will die on

9. Scene that first made me love (or hate) the character

12. Crack headcanon

16. Deepest darkest secret they won’t even admit to themselves

17. Quotes, songs, poems, etc. that I associate with them

20. Scars

21. Drink of choice (not just alcoholic)

29. Eating habits

30. Sleeping habits

42. 3 comfort items

49. Favorite toy as a child

So many great choices, thank you Sophie!!! I'm having a great day, I hope you are too! <33

2. A canon or headcanon hill I will die on:

Jonathan Harker -- He was not properly warned about Dracula before going to the castle. Canonically, he was only warned against going to the castle *that night* because it was the eve of St. George's Day and that's when evil spirits hold sway. He did go, yes, because of his job, not because he wanted to. He was not told what the Count was (he DOES ask, but is met with silence and the innkeeper and his wife crossing themselves, or just pretending not to understand him). The innkeeper's wife does ask "Do you know where you're going and who you're going to" but again, does not elaborate further.

He does later hear the words "vampire"/"werewolf" and other disconcerting words in passing (not told to him) while he's in the carriage, but he doesn't get enough translation to know who they're speaking of, so he assumes they're talking about him (because they were looking at him and I think he needs more self-esteem lol).

Why is this my hill to die on? I'm getting a bit tired of seeing posts that are like "Jonathan: *gets told Dracula is a vampire by the villagers* Jonathan: haha you're wrong! What ridiculous superstitions *goes anyway*" and I want to be like uhhh at what point was he warned by anyone explicitly that Dracula was a vampire???? And he doesn't just brush off their warnings either -- he does get bad vibes and he says "goodbye" to Mina on day two!!! I will allow he does assume the villagers' odd behavior is due to superstition and tradition and that's not great, but due to his upbringing and them not elaborating, what else is he supposed to think? If it was me, I know I would be confused and nervous, but I would probably also go to the castle too, because nothing in those implicit warnings was more important than a job. I would likely also assume they were more worried about what day I was going on, rather than the man I was going to, honestly. If anyone was able to glean "the guy I'm going to is a vampire" from what the villagers did without our knowledge of hindsight on Dracula, well....good for you I guess??? You are truly built different. 😭😭

Quick note: I don't blame the villagers for not warning Jonathan explicitly of Dracula. I imagine he keeps them under a strict "keep my true nature quiet" rule. They did above and beyond their duty by giving him vampire-repellent gifts, trying to implicitly warn him/delay his trip, and trying to deliberately make Jonathan miss Dracula's carriage. My sticking point is more on people trying to say Jonathan was told Dracula was a blood-sucking vampire and he just didn't listen. I'm not for sure if Jonathan would've believed the villagers and turned around and gone home if he had been explicitly warned (after all, his job and boss's reputation is on the line here!), but in the canon, he wasn't. Also, I'm talking about the novel canon only, so if he was warned explicitly in adaptations and did this kind of brush off, that's on the directors, not on the original text.

9. Scene that first made me love (or hate) the character:

Jonathan Harker -- It's difficult for me to say exactly when I fell in love with this guy the first time around. There are so many good scenes with him!! I would say I definitely enjoyed his tenacity throughout his time at castle Dracula, but the first scene where I really really fell in love with him was when he reunites with Mina. He's a mess emotionally and physically (after all, he's just been through castle Dracula), but his love for Mina shows through it all! He immediately marries her!! And though he doesn't want to talk about his trauma, he does hand her his journal from the castle as a sign of trust. He tells her if she wants to open it and read it, she can. That's how I knew his trust and love for her was deep. Plus, being able to communicate his emotions in such a surprisingly healthy way (considering the time period) was all that was really needed to make me love him! I could talk about more but it would be basically the whole novel...

Mina Harker -- Mina, my beloved. A QUEEN. It did not take long for me to warm up to her. She's sweet, funny, and obviously cares about her fiancé and her friend, Lucy. However, the scene that first made me love her was also when she reunites with Jonathan. She is eager to marry him, of course, but beyond that she's sympathetic to his obvious trauma. She doesn't push for information he's not ready to give, and when he gives her his journal, she decides to seal it with wax (using their wedding ring to do so -- I'm so normal about this...not) rather than read it. Why? She can tell it obviously distresses him to think about it at all and it disturbs him to think he could read it without his knowledge, though he's given consent. The wax allows him to know if/when she reads it. This is her sign of love and trust back to him. She also promises him she won't read it "unless it's for his dear sake or some stern duty". Her combination of love, integrity and ingenuity really shows here and I LOVE her for it!!!!

Kate Wetherall -- Ah yes, Kate. Another character I'm totally normal about (if you can tell, I'm normal about none of these characters, lol) :D Let's see, I really loved her from the beginning of the first book (especially "The Great Kate Weather Machine" -- I died laughing at that nickname), but if I had to pick a particular scene...probably when she meets Milligan for the first time and refuses to do anything for the tests until they have proper introductions. Other than being lowkey funny, it introduces two new things about her character we haven't seen yet: 1) her stubborn streak and 2) her refusal to treat people as just random extras in her life not worthy of an introduction. Yes, she wants to know more about Milligan so he can answer her test questions, but she also wants to know so she can get to know him as a person. She's not content to just brush by him and forget he exists; he's just as important to her as anyone else she'll meet in her life. And she has no idea how much Milligan will actually come to mean to her until much later. It's a little thing, but I think it shows her willingness to treat everyone as important very well!

If we're talking show Kate, I already went in with the love for the book, but the VERY first scene where she runs in and introduces herself was like greeting an old friend. Her painful high fives. Asking them to call her the Great Kate Weather Machine. It makes me laugh every single time. Not to mention her saying "started a small fire. Easily containable. No injuries." ????? KATE???? The actor's way of having Kate talk in short bursts like that to show how fast she talks is just....*chef's kiss*. I love it!!!

Mr. Benedict -- Another character I loved from start to finish! Other than laughing at Constance's answers (as a kid, I was a stickler for rules, so I expected someone with so many test rules to be the same way too LOL, so seeing him laugh it off was...kind of nice and freeing), his "white knight" talk with Reynie is what made me love him. I loved how he knew it was Reynie right away -- a clear sign of his intuition. How he fell asleep after he told Reynie he couldn't contact Miss Perumal :( -- a clear sign of his empathy. Then, talking about Reynie's own inner fears through the test questions (aka the white knight and his doubts) was so cool to me: I loved his way of quiet empathy and helping Reynie learn more about himself! As a kid, I wondered if I had doubts like Reynie I needed to examine after reading that. He was like this steady rock for the kids throughout the series, though of course he had moments where he needed help too and I loved him for that!

As for show Benedict, they took an entirely different direction with him and I loved that too!! It took me slightly longer to warm up to him (mainly because the white knight story was a MESS in my eyes, I was like "what was THAT" lol), and because he almost seemed untrustworthy (which is kind of the point -- I would understand that purpose later). The first scene where I grew attached -- and you may have guessed it, I talk about it all the time -- is when he found out the Sender was his twin brother and, in response, goes “excuse me” before walking outside to scream for a bit. So relatable!!! I love him!!! I want the best for him!!! It really showed me that he was a bit of an anxious mess with obvious issues. And that was honestly refreshing to see. Yes, he's the kids' mentor, but he's not infallible. It also makes sense, considering what they add to his backstory.

Doug Eiffel — This is another one of those “I loved him from the first moment I heard him speak” scenarios, but I think what really sealed the deal was his toothpaste revolution speech. It’s so ridiculous and over-dramatic!! And for toothpaste? LOL, he is so funny. If you’ve read The Lunar Chronicles, it reminds me of Thorne and his soap rebellion (another one of my favorite characters, but I’m letting that series rest for now or else I won’t shut up about it). That’s how I knew I was going to love this guy and his ADHD vibes. Not to mention his near-incomprehensible references. I am *exactly* the same way with slang and vine references; sometimes it’s to the point where I have to explain full sentences I make, just like Eiffel. Love that guy <3

Renée Minkowski — As the one who has to reign in Doug’s…doug-ness (read: his ADHD), I definitely had to respect Renée for that alone. But I think I came to love her specifically in Cataracts and Hurricanoes. At the beginning of the episode, when Eiffel is making his “space — the final frontier” speech, Minkowski shuts it down, but I love the way she does it. She reminds him of the “strict no tomfoolery clause” she made which tells me that she knows him so well and is prepared for the silly he brings. Beyond that, it's the first time we see Eiffel put into actual danger and, as a result, see Minkowski go into Captain ModeTM. Her willingness to immediately put her life in danger for Doug, remain calm, and even humor his little quirks along the way ("yes, Eiffel, that's my jetpack thingy") really made me love her and want to see more of her! Plus, her shutting down Hilbert's "greater good" speech (it walked so Kepler's "big picture" speeches could run, change my mind) in a firm but professional way was awesome!! Love her so much!!!!

12. Crack headcanon:

Mr. Benedict -- This isn't my headcanon (I got it from this post), but I accept it as my own now: Mr. Benedict loves metal music. Expanding off of that, he enjoys going to live concerts in his free time (wearing earplugs to keep from getting overstimulated, of course!). He used to watch the mosh pits (namely, the "wall of death") with fascination, but could not participate due to the risk of getting too excited and falling asleep in the middle of one. After TPD, though? He definitely tried it at least once. Whether he did it more than once is up to you!

As for show Benedict, I got this from reading @nobodysdaydreams SOS AU fanfic (this is yet another plug from my to go read it if you haven't already, it's amazing). Remember in season 2 when Number Two and Nicholas are singing off-key at the top of their lungs? Well, Bods wrote it in as Milligan hearing their voices and feeling it "sounded familiar". Now, most people would take that as "he recognized their voices", which was almost certainly the intention. How did I take it? That Milligan has had to hear them sing before and immediately recognized their voices because he was like "ah yes, there's that off-key singing I know and...love?" So my headcanon is that Nicholas Benedict regularly sings in the shower and around the house when he thinks no one can hear him (I think Number Two does as well, just less so). As long as he doesn't get too excited, it doesn't trigger his narcolepsy!

16. Deepest darkest secret they won’t even admit to themselves:

Kate Wetherall -- In the first season and the first book, she can't admit to anyone -- not even herself -- that she needs help. She's been working on her own for so long that admitting this would be almost a weakness on her part. On a deeper level, I think another reason for guarding so hard against relying on anyone (and this is implied, though not really covered) is that she could lose that love and support again. A love and support she can't even really remember, save for one partial memory. To her, having it and losing it is probably more difficult than never having it in the first place and that's how she's determined to keep it, until she's finally forced to admit through drastic circumstances that she DOES need help. And that's when her father finally comes back into her life :''''')

17. Quotes, songs, poems, etc. that I associate with them:

Doug Eiffel -- I usually have trouble associating characters with songs, but once I though about it, this came quite easy to me!! I have a few:

First up, we have Mission Control by Normandie! I feel like this one really goes with Ep. 30 -- Mayday (and, if you go beyond that, literally any time Doug is in danger and his general feeling on the Hephaestus when things go wrong). A few lyrics to highlight:

System failure/ Calling mission control I've got a feeling we are heading/ for a black hole

I'm drifting to the light in the bitter end/ Cause there can be no life without oxygen/ The devil's at my door/ Cause I can hear him calling my name

I can't remember solid ground/ I'm losing my senses/ here in the silence/ Tell me that I'll be safe and sound

Next is Sirens by Imagine Dragons (no I can't make a song association without using Imagine Dragon songs -- sorry not sorry). I feel like this is a good one for describing Doug's anxiety and how he feels about failing Anne and succumbing to addiction when he shouldn't have. A few lyrics to highlight:

My heart bleeds/ I feel everything,/ I Drip, drop,/ drink out of the bottle/ Boy with a heart of gold/ Get run over/ by heaven knows what

Sometimes,/ I get a little bit scared at night/ I get a little preoccupied/ The sirens in my mind/ The sirens in my mind/ I just wanna be good again/ I wanna make it to the end

Last up is one of my all-time favorite songs by TWRP (feat. Dan Avidan): Starlight Brigade! I honestly want to make a separate post about how I see this song and Doug Eiffel (it's a WHOLE thing), but I think this song goes best with the series finale -- Ep. 61, Brave New World. It shows his courage in the face of great danger and his dedication to the friends he's made over the course of the podcast. Plus, it's also a certified bop. A few lyrics to highlight:

Halfway/ between the black and gray/ Is no place/ for a life to waste away/ I'll take/ the road with all the stakes

Arrays of enemies await,/ but fears allay/ We stand as one/ A bond beyond the vast wave,/ until the last grave

We have come so far/ Beyond the most distant star/ Starlight within will guide/ us to the other side

Lift off!/ The firestorm ignites/ Last thoughts of a life by candlelight/ Inside this speeding satellite

This fight is all I know that's right/ (whoa yeah)/ No fate/ but that of which we make/ Noble as the oath we undertake/ We are/ the great Starlight Brigade!

Bonus: can't forget one of his favorites -- the Mind Eraser (that really hits different after the finale, huh?) that is Canon in D Major by Pachelbel! I love that he enjoys this classical song because it's kind of unexpected for him! Since he's so against "nerdy stuff" (while simultaneously being a huge film nerd lolll), you wouldn't think it, but in a weird way I think this kind of balances him out :)

As for quotes, I don't have like, outside quotes I associate with Doug (except for maybe "Use the Force, Luke" lol), but some of my favorite Doug quotes are:

"Are you ready for a whirlwind road trip to Truth Town, USA? Population: Y'all!"

"but...Truth Town! 🥺"

"So the good doctor was all like, 'DIE!' And our heroes were all like, 'NOOO!' And he was all like, "Muahaha!" And they were all like, 'Boo-yah, nerd!'"

(to Lovelace) "thank you for talking to me. For helping me see the stuff I was getting wrong. It's not something you should've had to do, but… thanks for doing it." :)

(Minkowski: "I'm sorry Eiffel. You're going home.") "Not without you!...I'm not leaving you behind!"

(Hera: "You're going to have trust me") "With my life, darling. With my life…"

"I love you, Anne. Always and forever."

20. Scars:

Jonathan Harker -- This isn't so much a "scar", but definitely something I consider one. After Jonathan sees his wife being fed on by Dracula (and the aftermath where she's very obviously upset), his brown hair goes entirely white from the emotional stress it takes on him. If I wasn't already convinced this man loves his wife, this is a very obvious sign he does. (I am definitely normal about this fact. I do not go feral every time I think about it. /j)

Mina Harker -- After the aforementioned incident with Dracula, Van Helsing tries to help guard Mina against any more vampire attacks by touching her forehead with a Sacred Wafer. However, because Dracula has begun the process of turning her into a vampire, it leaves a burned cross mark on her forehead instead, which she wears until they defeat Dracula. This scar is a constant reminder of what she is slowly becoming and -- to her (the others reassure her otherwise) -- signifies she is "unclean" in the eyes of God. I believe it also reminds her of what she's fighting for -- to return to her humanity once more.

Kate Wetherall -- She has no canonical scars that I remember, but my headcanon is that she has some minor scars from her days in the circus, mostly on her legs and arms from some tricks gone wrong. I say minor because she's really agile and likely wouldn't get any major ones. I do think if I had to pick a Main ScarTM, I would say she has one across her left eyebrow that she got during her fight with the Executives in the first book.

As for show Kate, she definitely retained scars on her hands after hanging off a cliff for that many hours! I think she's a bit more careful than book Kate about what kind of scrapes she gets into (this is Disney, after all), but she has a scar or two from her time in the circus as well.

Mr. Benedict -- Mr. Benedict was in the navy and, while he wasn't in the field very much, I headcanon that he certainly was in a scrape or two which resulted in some scars. Before that, though, I think he retained a scars on his hands and possibly knees from when he dissembled and reassembled the drill on Violet's farm (I imagine it was quite uncomfortable). I also think that he has some scars from falling wrong on the ground (e.g. skinning his knees or elbows on a rock) with his narcolepsy when no one was there to prevent him from falling. :( Luckily, he has his family to protect him now!

As for show Benedict, I imagine Nathaniel being around prevented Nicholas from falling as a child (and vice versa, of course!), so I don't think he has any childhood scars. Nathaniel may have even "forbidden" scars because "how are we going to get adopted if we have imperfections like SCARS, Nicky??" If we want to dial up the angst, I headcanon his first scar came from when he came back to get his brother and found him gone. He had a narcoleptic seizure and, for the first time, his brother wasn't there to catch him. Unfortunately, there was some glass on the ground outside of the orphanage and he cut his right elbow on it when he fell. The scar is faint but still there, as a reminder from the day he didn't get his brother back and knew he had failed his promise. Just a thought. :)

Doug Eiffel -- This guy is always getting into trouble. I headcanon he has scars ALL over the place from various scrapes and injuries over the years. If you ask him, he will tell you the story of each individual one (he will not remember to update the star charts, but he will remember the one-inch-long scar on his knee he got falling from the jungle gym while trying to impress Jessica Perry in first grade). The one time he didn't get a scar? His accident with Anne. He searched for hours on his body trying to find a fresh one, hoping upon hope that he could at least have ONE permanent scar for all of the hurt he caused his daughter and the other driver but...no. Not a scratch. The fact he doesn't is almost a scar unto itself, though it's not physical. He used to brag about his scars with gusto. Now? Not so much. He'll talk about them, if you ask, but there's a bitter edge to his voice that doesn't quite match the lighthearted stories he tells.

Renée Minkowski -- Renée, like Eiffel, has numerous scars, though it's more from pushing herself rather than an inclination for trouble. Like Doug (pre-accident), she wears every scar with pride and remembers where she got each one. However, it's a quiet pride and she doesn't give out her "scar stories" easily. You need to be at least level 10 friendship to get that out of her. While Eiffel and scars are a touchy subject, he couldn't resist asking Minkowski about the slash on her cheek or the jagged scar running down her arm. After all, he can still enjoy a good story and they aren't HIS scars. Minkowski refused to tell him because -- well -- the guy can't even say her name right. No way is he at that level of friendship or trust yet. Eiffel, sensing this annoys her, proceeds to ask as often as he remembers (which is more often than you'd think). Then, Eiffel is rocketed into deep space. And somewhere along the line, she looks at the arm scar and remembers one of his annoying questions. It's such a small thing, but she has to run to her room to cry for a bit after that. Needless to say, Eiffel is told that arm scar story when he gets back to the Hephaestus. Minkowski told him more when he started saying her name right.

Quick note: there are 28 days between ep. 52 and 53, so I think that's when this last part would've happened.

21. Drink of choice (not just alcoholic):

Mina Harker -- I honestly don't remember if Mina has a canon drink of choice and I'm trying to keep myself "surprised" on my reread, so I don't want to comb through to check. So, in my headcanon, I believe she always enjoys a good cup of tea! Her favorite is what was most available to her at the time -- what's known as a "black tea", which is stronger and more bitter than the delicate teas of high society (source: this article). IIRC, Mina is an orphan like Jonathan, so she wouldn't always have had the luxury of the delicate, upper class blends which is more what we're used to today. She likely can afford those blends now, but I think she enjoys the stronger taste of the black tea blends.

29. Eating habits:

Renée Minkowski -- Renée was raised by a French diplomat so her eating habits are very precise. She has been trained in the table manners of several different countries. Also, in Poland, it's traditional to eat 5 smaller meals rather than three large meals, so Minkowski often prefers to eat smaller meals across the course of the day. Her exceptions are Thanksgiving and Christmas -- she loves getting together for these big dinners!

30. Sleeping habits:

Mina Harker -- She enjoys reading before bed (usually about train schedules, that Train Fiend lol) to relax her mind. Otherwise, she'll be thinking about everything under the sun and stay up all night! She's naturally inclined towards staying up later, but has restricted herself to going to bed at the same time -- 10:30 p.m. -- every night because she also has work to do as a schoolmistress and she knows Jonathan is a morning person. After their marriage, she is quite surprised to learn he likes staying up later too; she eases up on this rule a tad. She's also a stage five cuddler in her sleep, though she denies this (not because she doesn't like cuddling with her husband, but because it flusters her -- at first -- to think she'd cuddle him in her sleep. After that, it becomes amusing to act as if she's flustered because it makes Jonathan smile). Jonathan loves to tease her about it to no end (he knows very well she's not flustered anymore).

42. 3 comfort items:

Mr. Benedict -- His plaid shirts and blankets (of course!), a teacup with cute messages from his family he got for Christmas (Constance somehow fit a three-verse poem on there), and the picture Violet drew of him -- "The Boy on the Bluff".

As for show Benedict, he has the same comfort items as book Benedict, except for the last one. The last one is, instead, the photo of him and his brother, though it often brings more guilt than comfort. Bonus comfort item: a weighted blanket because he NEEDS one.

49. Favorite toy as a child:

Doug Eiffel -- Little Doug got a plush toy of Chewbacca for his birthday/Christmas one year and he LOVED it. He took that thing everywhere. He would play-pretend as Han Solo and Chewie would be right there as his co-pilot. While Eiffel was pretty destructive with his other toys, he was always careful with Chewie. He was encouraged to share this toy with his friends, but no. He vowed Chewie would be his and his alone. He kept that promise...until the day of Anne's first birthday. She immediately cuddled Chewie and Eiffel's heart melted. Now, he wonders if Chewie is in a trash bin somewhere because Anne doesn't want to be reminded of her dad :(

(spoiler alert: Chewie's fine. Kate wouldn't separate Anne from her favorite toy, especially because she cuddled it more than ever after the accident).

Thank you for the great ask, Sophie! This was so much fun to write. Hope you enjoyed :)

[ebvermin]

ok really dumb rant about CV:Nocturne

Honestly, I shouldn’t really be surprised that they skipped like 300 years worth of games and went straight from CoD to Rondo, presumably following with SotN in like season 3 of it. I mean, how could they *not* bring back Alucard, y’know? And what would they even do for Christopher and Simon Belmont, just have Dracula magically resurrect like he does in the games, kinda completely invalidating the buildup to the massive fight from season 2?

And look, the legendary Simon Belmont really isn’t the most fleshed-out character, as opposed to Richter, who could actually be a really interesting character to explore in this adaptation. I mean, sure, he starts off as your typical noble hero, slaying monsters and saving maidens, the typical classic CV fare, but there’s just this lil something something in his dialogue with Dracula in Rondo that tells a much more important side to his character.

D: It is not by my own power that I am resurrected. It is a greed of humanity which calls me back. And thus, by might, I rule. Might becomes the one and only justice in this world!

R:  Of all the self-serving claptrap! The same basic faith drives all people to seek, to come together, to move forward. That surely can't be an evil thing!

D:  And yet, here I am. Do you not have any desires?

R: (hesitantly) Well...

Right there, The only moment we see Richter stagger thus far, when his true intentions are called into question. Yes, Richter is a hero through and through, but what happens after he fulfills his destiny? Of course, we see this in Symphony, where Richter’s desires cause him to be mesmerized by the Shaft, and end up resurrecting the very thing his family swore to destroy 700 years ago, just to show his own self-serving might. And, I can imagine that this very same folly is gonna happen in Nocturne as well, because you know the writers are just *begging* to do SotN! So, it makes sense why they skip to Rondo, but, they didn’t have to skip everything...

in 1748, fifty years before the events of Rondo, a man named Maxim returned from a two-year training journey, gravely wounded from an apparent attack upon him, but with no memory of his entire expedition. However, he comes bearing news that a childhood friend of his, Lydie, had been kidnapped by an evil force. And the first person he goes to, his most trusted friend...

Juste Belmont

The Grandson of Simon Belmont, and eventual grandfather of Richter, Juste is surprised to learn of the unexpected return of Dracula’s Castle, and he and Maxim leave at once to investigate. And from here, the two embark on a story of confusion, betrayal, and the folly of pride and jealousy.

You see, Maxim, despite training as hard as he can, knows that he’ll never get the same notoriety as Juste, for no other reason than that Juste is of the legendary Belmont clan. But, it’s this very jealousy that allows the spirit of Dracula to enter Maxim’s heart, slowly corrupting him and causing Castle Dracula to return in the first place, fifty years early. 

Sounds familiar?

And look, I’m not saying that Harmony of Dissonance needs an entire adaptation, i’m lying yes it does But at least a season or a few episodes dedicated to it would seriously help the story a lot! Just because Dracula isn’t alive, doesn’t mean that his spirit can’t influence the evil in people’s hearts, which would be a perfect parallel to how Richter eventually falls to his own desires. Honestly, Harmony as a whole is a really good prelude to Rondo and Symphony, and i do hope it at least gets a mention in the new series!

but if we can be real they probably wont even revive dracula anyway because he kinda just wanted to die in season 2 anyway and what are they just gonna have dracula fight alucard again after the whole “im killing my boy” speech so i guess my whole point is kinda moot unless what is he gonna revive carmilla or something sure she was actually in rondo but come on thats ridiculous

look man i just like harmony of dissonance 

[jessequinnfirstofhername]

The Rules:

Every twenty-four hours there will be another round. After every round, the character in last place will be eliminated.

If there are multiple characters tying for last place, there will be a special elimination round. In these rounds, every character in last place will be eliminated, even if all the characters have tied equally.

When there are only two characters remaining, they will face off against one another in a week-long poll to determine the victor.

If the character that you consider the hottest isn’t listed here, hit the ‘what about ___???’ option and reply to this post with the overlooked character. The character with the highest 'write-in’ votes will be added to the next round. Unless the 'what about ___???’ option is the least voted for, in which case it will be eliminated. Welcome to the party, Dracula and Henry Fitzroy!

I'm counting hybrids and dhampirs as vampires. My poll, my rules.

If you're looking for the hottest vampiress poll, it'll be on my blog, right next to this one.

This is all for fun. Don’t take it too seriously ;)

The Vampire With A Soul can suck it! Adios, Angel/Angelus!

I could've used a gif of Angelus whimpering in the rain after Buffy kicked him in the nuts, but I didn't. Because I'm nice. Even though I have serious beef with the moody twat.

...just kidding! Angel has his fun moments!

(But I still think he's a moody twat)

Round Five!

[fangedprinx]

The more I think about the Dracula novel the closer I get to wanting to dismantle the story and put it back together again in a way that would kill Bram Stoker if he wasn't already dead

He's not getting any less dead though so my antagonistic approach to the text can't kill him

When I say antagonistic I mean:

A story inspired by thoughts of how the Queen should get snacked on by Dracula along with the British aristocracy, actually, because for all the xenophobic imperialist mental backdrop of a book where the enemy is a spooky foreign dude, the British empire was bloodier than one single vampire in a silly little castle (even if we focus just on the imperial core, there's plenty to zoom in on with the British industrial revolution, e.g. "the machinery of capitalism being oiled with the blood of the workers", the poverty and deprivation of the working class, everyday exploitation with the added bonus of young men being asked to go off and die in wars because people in silly hats are having a pissing contest). Once Dracula is finished using them as a juicebox he should get beheaded in a worker's revolt because he would underestimate the courage and resiliency of the lower classes and expect to just rule over them. And he doesn't have an iota of awareness of how to manipulate the levers of power in a complicated post-feudal social system he ate most of the rulers of. (For context, I am Irish and a socialist and I will go toe to toe with the fear-laden mental landscape of one of the most famous Dubliners to ever write a novel where British aristocrats are some of the good guys.)

Dracula creeping on Jonathan Harker is spooky in the novel but I also don't respect Stoker's intent there. The overtones of unsavoury interest as supposed to imply some sort of homosexual proclivities was then part of the horror especially for audiences of the time, and I don't want to unquestioningly reproduce this dynamic because sincerely fuck that. The fact that Dracula is queer-coded as a villain as part of what makes him villainous is not something I care to take at face value and reproduce. Potentially writing Dracula/Jonathan Harker where Dracula isn't a manipulative creep engaging in subtle psychological abuse and torture of Jonathan is completely contrary to canon characterisation but there's been a long line of Dracula adaptations with a tenuous relationship to canon and I want to break free of the confines of the text and upend its assumptions. I want an aggressive reading/transformative work that disregards the author's intent to create something different from it, and maybe if I have time I will do it myself. Move over fear of the other we have fear of the self (as being attracted to the same gender) to tangle with and then overcome.

The least antagonistic to the text would be fun little bad ends where the failure of the heroes' mission is part of the enjoyment. I'm gonna write a bit of spooky sexy turning characters into evil vampires who are gleeful about being horrors of the night, as a treat.

I enjoy(ed) reading Dracula but I also want to explode it into its constituent atoms and reassemble them in a configuration that suits me more