#one i was at the doctor with my mom and they asked if i had been in an abusive relationship and she said yes
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Rules on request??
Can you do one where Stiles finds out his girlfriend has a chronic illness like lupus or something and he adjust his life to be there every step for her. Even the time in the hospital he stays and sleeps in the bed with her holding her. He always seemed like he would be the golden retriever type 🩷 and she doesn’t or does know about the pack you choose
This is literally the sweetest request ever and so on brand for him! I decided to "give" her something else because I don't know anything about lupus. I am definitely not a medical expert of any kind and I do not claim to be, but I have a couple family members who have the chronic illness I chose, so I am slightly familiar with it. Everyone should always do their own research though! What I wrote mostly focuses on the events before finding out, but I can continue this and go into more detail on what happens afterwards if people would like me to. Also, I apologize, but the last third, give or take is kind of rushed. I hope you like it though! Thank you for the request!
Also, I will take any request with a grain of salt and tweak things if I need or want to. But I'm open to anything!
Battle Together
Word count: 1,658
His heart was racing and falling at the same time. There was no way this was actually happening, right? Not to her.
His hands shook as he gripped his phone to his ear. Focusing on Scott’s voice was getting increasingly more difficult as he tried not to spiral. Why didn’t her dad tell him? Why wasn’t he with her right then, holding her hand and sweeping away her worries. Shit, he was so worried, and Scott clearly didn’t know all of what was actually going on.
“Scott, wait, what are you saying?”
“She’s here. In the hospital. All my mom told me was that she passed out and now they’re doing brain scans.” His friend was plainly shaken up too.
Brain scans? Stiles felt sick. Everything he witnessed his mother go through when he was a little boy crashed into him all over again. What if this was the same thing? What if she had what his mom had? What if-
“I’m on my way.”
Stiles broke nearly every traffic law in existence as he raced to Beacon Hills Memorial Hospital, to his beloved girlfriend. He needed to get there as fast as possible; he needed to know what was going on. He absolutely despised being out of the loop.
Frantically sprinting into the building and nearly running into not one, but two nurses who were going home for the night, he arrived at the front desk. But where the hell was Melissa?
His feet almost left the floor when the sweet voice broke through his rapid breathing, saying, “Oh good, you’re here. Come with me.”
Stiles turned to look at the curly-haired, soft-eyed woman. He couldn’t help that his voice trembled as soon as he opened his mouth. “What’s going on? Is she ok? Did something happen to her? Have they found anything yet? Why did-”
“Stiles.” Melissa placed her aged hands on his shoulders in an attempt to ground him. “Breathe. Everything’s going to be fine. She’s going to be fine.”
“Do you really know that...?” he asked hesitantly.
She paused for a moment, understandably. There was no way to know anything for sure. Not yet, at least.
“Let’s just go see her for now, ok?”
He nodded and let her guide him to his girlfriend’s room. As they walked, Ms. McCall told him everything she knew. She explained that the poor girl had passed out in the kitchen while helping her dad prepare dinner, banging her head on the corner of the granite countertop and burning her forearm with spilled gravy in the process. Her father practically carried her to the car as soon as she hazily woke up and brought her in to the hospital. Her second-degree burn was cleaned and treated before the doctor decided to check for a concussion. Hearing the true explanation for the CT scan relatively eased Stiles’ nerves, but there was still so much to decipher. He needed to see her, preferably immediately.
They reached the door of the room she was checked into when they moved her from the ER. However, Melissa did not reach for the handle, causing Stiles to give her a look of curiosity.
“Stiles,” she started, exhaling a deep breath, “I want you to be prepared for whatever this is.”
His curiosity deepened and twisted as the spires of concern within him sharpened and stood taller. “Wha- what does that mean?”
“It means that, sometimes, something as small as passing out isn’t always as small as it seems...”
The woman’s eyes were filled with a specific type of pain, one that Stiles was familiar with, but hadn’t seen in her for years. Since he was so young when his mother was sick, he never truly realized how much agony Melissa experienced as she watched a dear friend (and that friend’s family) of hers suffer. It brought her a horrible aching sensation to see the damage a singular disease could inflict on three good, genuine people, and not be able to do something significant to help. That was her job – to help. But there was really nothing she or anyone was capable of to improve the situation.
Stiles swallowed in a faulty attempt to soothe his suddenly dry throat. He simply nodded, and in return, the sweet nurse gave him an empathetic smile. Of course, she didn’t want to scare him with what she said, but she had given bad news too many times that week.
“Are you ready?”
He sighed, trying to take her advice and finding it incredibly arduous. “Yeah, I think so.”
As they quietly entered, Stiles’ eyes softened upon seeing the girl who stole his heart sitting up on the hospital bed. She looked incredibly tired, but watching her mouth curve upwards when her gaze met his made him feel like the luckiest man alive. Not because of the situation, obviously, but because that cute little smile was for him.
“Hey, stranger.” Her raspy voice was surprisingly gleeful, all things considered. Perhaps Stiles just had that effect on her.
“Hey,” he chuckled. “You feeling ok?”
She simply shrugged and glanced at her father who was standing next to the bed.
Begrudgingly, the man cleared his throat and excused himself from the room. He supposed that giving the lovebirds no more than a couple minutes wouldn’t result in an utter catastrophe, even when Stiles is one of the pair in question, who hastily sat down on the edge of the bed as soon as the door clicked closed.
“Are you sure you’re ok? Do you need me to get you anything? What can I do?” He took her hands into his.
Her smile grew as she saw the love and devotion he had for her, not to mention the worry. She didn’t want him to stress himself out, but she had to admit that those wide eyes were adorable.
“I’m fine, I swear. Just... stay with me for a while?” she said, her voice turning bashful.
“Absolutely. There’s nowhere else I’d rather be. Got that?” His hands squeezed hers as he leaned forward.
“Yeah,” she nodded, her face approaching his, “I got that.”
As if he had a sixth sense for his daughter’s desires, the man swiftly entered the room again, causing both of the teens’ head to lurch backwards. Stiles tried to be sly as he slowly and awkwardly pulled his hands away and stood from the bed, backing away cautiously. A doctor stood in the doorway, along with Melissa.
“Dr. Vandenberg wants to run a few more tests while we wait for the CT scan results, just in case it’s not a concussion.” Her father began pulling his phone out of his pocket. “I have some things I need to do for work, but I’ll be back in the morning, alright? Is that ok with you?’
The information that was sprung on her felt like a spear piercing her spine and sending a poison of anxiety rushing through her bloodstream. All she could do was nod. There was no other option, anyway.
He nodded back at her before his eyes locked onto Stiles. “You’re staying with her.”
It was more of a command than anything, but the boy would never object to that regardless of whose mouth those words left.
“Yes, sir.”
Stiles was by her side for as many tests as he was permitted. He could tell that this was more frightening for her than she was divulging; it was harrowing. Therefore, he desperately desired to bring her some semblance of comfort. And he succeeded, to a degree.
Afterwards, their time together was briefly ceased while he picked up the closest thing to a couple of “real” burgers Beacon Hills could provide. They contentedly ate their late dinner together, squished against one another once she made room for him next to her. He kissed away the condiment that was smeared on the corner of her mouth, making her giggle.
Additionally, he held her close and kept his eyes glued to her form, making sure she was snuggly falling asleep without interruption. Without realizing it, he, too, was swept away into a slumber. Their trepidations momentarily fizzled and were replaced by fantasy-filled dreams, and morning rolled in fast.
When her father returned, the doctor explained the various test results they received. Stiles’ girlfriend was officially diagnosed with Postural Orthostatic Tachycardia Syndrome (POTS), a chronic illness which frequently inflicts dizziness and fainting due to a lower blood volume returning to the heart. It can be managed with an increased intake of salt and water, but will be part of her for the rest of her life.
Stiles felt a surge of anger at the news – there was nothing he could do to make this nuisance of a disease go away and his girlfriend did nothing to deserve it. However, he swore to himself that he would stay by her side, hold her hand, and keep her safe whenever her body got the best of her.
He kept his promise throughout the rest of school, their engagement after he proposed, and their marriage. He did whatever he could to help, whether necessary or not. He always went the extra mile for her, even though it wasn’t an illness that would debilitate her from living her life. However, it was definitely inconvenient and dangerous at times.
There was an instance in which she passed out while driving on the freeway, leaving her car to drift into the guard rails. Thankfully, there was very little traffic, so no one else got hurt. However, she was back in the hospital with a few minor injuries and her husband (for every minute of the stay).
This battle was never fought alone, and Stiles had a unique talent for making her feel cared for without any semblance of being coddled. He knew how admirably strong she was and exactly when she needed him to step in and hold her. POTS would not break her, nor their bond.
#dylan obrien#stiles stilinski#teen wolf#dylan o'brien imagine#dylan o brien#dylan o'brien fluff#dylan o'brien#stiles fluff#stiles stilinski imagine#stiles imagine#stiles fanfiction#stiles blurb#stiles stilinski fluff#stiles stilinski x reader#stiles x reader#stiles x reader fluff#teen wolf stiles#dylan o’brien fanfiction#dylan o'brien imagines#dylan o’brien x reader
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#mrs flood who are you: time lord edition
#dwedit#doctor who#mrs flood#fifteenth doctor#the master#jacobi!master#tenth doctor#jack harkness#martha jones#twelfth doctor#ninth doctor#*#okay here is my argument: mrs flood IS a time lord but her presence here has nothing to do with the doctor#instead she's here because of ruby. she's seemingly part of/related to the pantheon of discord & we know that ruby is connected to them too#so i think that she was deliberately placed as ruby's neighbor by the pantheon/oldest one/ruby's mom/? in order to watch over her#it also explains why she was there to check on ruby in 1.04. once she realizes she's on the phone w carla she says 'nothing to do with me'#and she leaves. which implies that it COULD have had something to do with her. if it had been something else going on#ANYWAY. to get to the time lordness of it all. rn i personally believe that she's a time lord that's been hiding on earth for 50+ years#bc i don't think she recognized the police box as a tardis initially. that first quote should be taken at face value.#instead picture this: she's watching over ruby as per usual. a police box is there - weird but nbd. then it dematerializes in front of her.#she drops her groceries. she's shocked. she kinda looks scared. if she already knew it was a tardis why would she react like that?#so imo she knows OF tardises. she DIDN'T know the police box was one. and she's worried the time lords have found her hence the fear.#but when nothing happens and nobody comes at her she realizes she's still safe#later when she sees the doctor she realizes the tardis is his/he must be a time lord. he doesn't identify her but that's happened before#so then when she asks him who he is i think what she's actually asking for is his title. WHICH time lord are you.#bc lbr if she knows abt tardises then she knows about time lords and if she knows abt time lords she knows what it means for ruby#to be joining him - and that's why she wishes ruby good luck. meanwhile this is clearly the outcome she WANTS (them to be together)#bc she gets visibly upset when the doctor seems to decide to leave without ruby.#and for once i'm not master clowning bc the list of names the doctor gives out is VERY interesting. some of them we've never heard before:#the bishop; the conquistador; later he adds the pedant and sagi-shi and reiterates the bishop AGAIN. so i wonder if she's the bishop.....
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Imagine you're Mr. Wu and your weird gay daughter runs away in tears after destroying some unespecified object while yelling about you ruining her life. Because you told her you'd be moving to another state. This is the last time you see your daughter in half a year, and when she comes back, she comes back... wrong. She's wearing a light leather armor, a fur-lined cape, and a green flower crown. She has two long scars, one alongside her spine and the other along her chest, the tissue around them covered in burn scars. Doctors say she shouldn't have survived. Doctors say she didn't. Yet she's right here, in front of you, hospital gown clinging to her small, fragile, trembling frame. She fidgets with her hands. Getting her to stay still has always been difficult, but now it seems impossible. She won't let go of her phone. She's always texting her two friends. When you take it away, she gets anxious. You always knew those damn phones cause kids to act weird, but your kid having a panic attack seems too extreme, even for her. Then again, she's always been odd. Nowadays, she wakes up crying and screaming almost every night, and you realize she's been stealing her phone from your bedside drawer every night to text her friends, returning it before you wake up. You catch her once and decide to give her that damn phone back. It's the only thing that calms her down, as if she were a baby with a pacifier. She spends her last weeks in LA clinging to her friends, having sleepovers and playing her weird board games with them. Everytime they drop her back at her house, there's an excessive amount of hugs and tears. But the moments when they call her, or when she leaves to meet with them, or when they show up at their door to pick her up... those are the only moments in which you see her happy. One of her friends, the rude and disobedient one, came back with a big scar on her face. She's been acting a lot nicer, though. The other one too. She acts a great deal more adult now. You doesn't know what happened or where your daughter went. She won't tell you. But you can tell this friendship is the only thing keeping her afloat right now. Maybe you know, deep down, that no one else would understand.
And then you decide to move anyway because fuck her amirite
#amphibia#marcy wu#my posts#so like what if marcy moving away was a proper tragedy#what if things were WORSE for her#what if *smashes marcy with a ROCK*#i realized that.#despite my parents being shitty (just found out literaly today my mom had doctors give me the wrong treatment because she assumed my body#would react the same way as hers. instead of doing what literally every doctor told her to do. now i need to get it fixed)#they still asked me how I felt about moving away to a different province when in like. 8.#like. oh right. this is something parents generally ask their kids about. instead of uprooting their entire lives out of nowhere.#marcy's situation is complicated in a narrative sense because#in order for her arc to work her departure must be dictated by morally neutral forces outside of her control#but her parents' decision seems very shitty with the context we're given. you COULD give context that justified their actions#i.e have them explain that they really do need this if they want marcy to go to college or some shit like that#but then it stops being Marcy vs. Forces of Nature#and it becomes Marcy vs. Her Dad (and she has to accept he's right in this one)#the show is clearly for a Marcy vs. Forces of Nature conflict (in this case it's the inevitability of change)#and in order to keep the antagonistic force abstract you CAN'T have her dad be a proper character#BUT. as a consequence -> Marcy has to give into the ''#the ''natural order'' which would be accepting her parents' power over her as natural and inevitable#it's not even like... accepting her parents are right or anything. just that their o#that their complete control of the situation and marcy's total powerlessness is natural and inevitable#and that's tragic! from a more watsonian ñerspective#perspective* : Marcy is sent back to her shitty parents and she just needs to learn how to deal with it away from her support system#the solution imo would have been to change the motivation behind her family moving away so that it's outside her parents' control too#it really has to be completely inevitable. i can't think of an alternative reason but it's just what it#it's what would fix this problem imo#it's a simple fix really
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me: i'm gonna call my mom just to talk but i'm not gonna tell her about my new type 2 diabetes diagnosis because she has a lot on her plate and just told me my grandma is in the hospital again, and i don't wanna add yet another thing to it.
my mom: your voice sounds strange, are you sure you're okay?
me: starts sobbing and tells her everything lol
#also had to tell her about the breakup#asking me if i'm okay when i'm already feeling on the verge of tears is like THE trigger for me#i will start bawling lol (and i did for the second time today. first time was with the doctor when she told me fdskjdfbds)#(i tried really hard to keep it in okay but she just kept going on with the complications if left untreated and it was A Lot)#anyway i love my mom and how supportive she is about this#and my step dad was also yelling supportive things through the phone too lol it was so sweet#i cannot tell my dad yet tho cause i know he'll say shit like “i told you so” (about extra weight complications) and i can't handle this rn#i know he'll be supportive but not in a way i need rn#so i'll tell him one day but not now
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#i have a doctor's appointment tomorrow that i've had in my calendar for 2 months (almost 3)#and because i'm me i have been thinking and stressing about it for those 2 months (almost 3)#tomorrow is supposed to be over and i'll finally relax (for a bit cause i'll probably have to do blood work etc etc)#and now my mom put into my head that maybe (we don't know she's not sure) MAYBE the doc will have to like check me#and so i will have to remove clothing which i was so not prepeared for and i'm not sure what my reaction will be on the day#because that makes me EXTREMELY uncomfortable... and like i get it you're going to the doctor it could happen but also?#i need to at least imagine it for a week i can't be told this THE DAY BEFORE#now i'm freaking the fuck out#and up until today my major anxiety was ''am i gonna ask the doc about starting t? or should i wait until she does the tests i need done#in case she turns out to be very transphobic and i have to drop her?''#like that was my biggest worry now i have like a million more#i hate this i hate my brain and i hate that i can't have ONE THING i need to do IN THE YEAR without going into panic mode for 3mths straigh#my brain is so fucking useless#angel talks#personal
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i always forget i have Healthcare System Anxiety until i have to interact with The Healthcare System and immediately just start screaming internally for days
#my mom obliterated her bones and the pre-surgery surgery post-surgery experience. the ER situation. moving 2 the woods#this is a vent post i forget my complaining tag#waited 30 mins for an ambulance & when we called back they were like ''yeah it hasnt been assigned to anyone & might be hours''#so i drove her to the ER with a migraine & ran over some pylons (cool).#stuck in the ER for 9 hours. took 4 hours for anyone to give her any kind of pain management. i caught covid#was supposed to get a call when she was out of her 2 hrs max surgery. was told i could call if i hadn't heard anything#5 hours later i called and was transferred 6 times - told she had been discharged - told she had never been registered at that hospital -#yelled at by a nurse for asking for patient information - eventually got the right department and was told oh yeah sorry she's in recovery#was supposed to find out if she could come home or not in 30 mins. 3 hours later theyre like OK come get her#i show up and the doors to that wing are. locked? and no one's there to unlock them?#apparently i was supposed to pick up the wall phone? and call a code they hadn't given me? spent 30 mins getting help from other department#to GET THEM TO OPEN THE DOORS. FREE HER RELEASE HER#finally i get in and she's OK SHES FINE except morphine doesn't work on her so that's. fine. bodies are good to have#we have reached shrimp colours levels of anxiety i am a walking talking stress migraine but she's doing ok. but holy fuck#kayvswords#also like she's black and all of her nurses and doctors have been white so feeling normal about all of it all around
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went on a date with a guy one time and he asked me what my ethnicity/race was
I told him "Oh I'm indigenous, why?"
bro looked me dead in the eye and went "Yeah I knew you weren't white!" and proceeded to list off the characteristics that made him think that
I was just there like 🧍♂️👍 cool bro
#like im pale as hell because my dad is and i dont go outside often during the day but it just felt weird asf#had a similar thing happen with another guy who then asked to touch my hair 👍 like no buddy#ive had a doctor check me for a concussion before (i had one) and then he just kept feeling my hair and asked if i was native. i was creeped#out and then he asked my mom if he could feel her hair. weird as hell. dont remember his name and shouldve reported him but this was over#5 years ago and i was a teen who didnt know how to. fuck those ppl tho. weird as hell#ndn#indigenous#native american#native hair#hair
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Not me going to an eye doctor I've always gone to and expecting said eye doctor but his new intern comes in and makes me question my demiaroace identity label 💀💀
#my heart was racing my face was heating up and I suddenly felt so shy and aware of myself-#and like he called me “ma'am” at one point and for some reason it made me feel so so so so happy#like my stomach started filling eith butterflies#his hair is so good and his voice is cute and he's cute#and my mom was messing with him and apparently his colleagues jokingly mess with him too and it's so adorable!!#duebidehidneidensksnsj#I'm in my mom's car rn but I'm still blushy and-#at one point he asked “any questions?” and my mom looked at me and my brother and as he walked away#my mom said “you look like you have a question”#but I didn't have a question I had a crush-#sjejdidnsidnisjdje#and when I laughed I realized I was doing my cute giggle subconsciously hoping he'd notice-#and my record also said I liked roblox from when I was 9 and he complimented me on it-#like this is such a atupid thing fir me to fangirl over but-#does this mean I'm not demiaroace or is it just adrenaline from him being incredibly cute?-#because last time I questioned this it was mistaken platonic affection#and I mean it could be that again#but I'm so confused-#i go to the eye doctor and end up questioning my sexuality-
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Being brave and trying to set up appointment with gynecologist today. Hell on planet earth
#the irrational fear of them going ‘no fuck u we won’t see you ever’ lmao#idk my fingers are crossed that I’m infertile lmao#(which now that this issue has become so much more intense and have I spoken to both sides of the family about medical history#I think it might actually be a really high possibility lmfao because apparently my aunt struggled with conceiving on my dad’s side#and my mom’s doctors were shocked she was able to have kids and she eventually had to get a hysterectomy her issues were so bad)#so pls pls pls pls pls pls PLS let me be infertile#for one I think it would be funny#two it’ll be a good way to shut my family the fuck up when they ask about me having kids#and three I’m hoping that will making easier for ME to pursue a hysterectomy#I want that bitch GONE I want it YANKED OUT I need it so very far away from me and then destroyed#but regardless first step towards any kind of treatment for this is calling the fucking doctor today so el oh el#kaz rambles
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#apparently I’m not done being mad about this I’m sorry guys I gotta vent#my dad is like an ox and never sick and like not very understanding with health issues/general illness#which you’d think he would have been after having me the super sickly child with a ton of health issues but no#we have a positive Covid case in the house and I have the same fucking symptoms I just started later#I have taken two tests- one yesterday and one today#and he yelled at me saying I’m wasting tests and also that I’m apparently fine which like#even if I somehow don’t catch covid I’m still sick but okay dad 🫠#if it helps put things into a better perspective… did yall know that back in November after I had my 3rd fucking endometriosis surgery#he asked why I was off work for two weeks and why I didn’t go back the day after surgery?#like I had had this surgery twice before and at home recovery was also two weeks both those times#but moreover like sir I have 3 incisions in my abdomen and my job requires me to left 50lbs???#at which point he still insisted I was fine and was just being ‘dramatic’ 🙃#I wanna fucking scream#I’m lissed the fuck off#did yall know he nearly got me killed once because I had neurovirus and he refused to take me to the er?#I eventually lost consciousness from severe dehydration- he thought I was sleeping and continued to argue with my mom that I was fine 🫠#they eventually took me but I was unconscious for several hours and it took five bags of iv fluid for me to regain consciousness#and the doctor estimated I was about two hours away from death so like#yeah#if that gives yall a better idea of the shit I’m putting up with#I have like zero tolerance for dealing with his bullshit when I’m sick#it’s the trauma from not fucking being believed for years of my life about any of my illnesses#and like also the fucking almost dying part#fun times 🫠#I’m sorry I’m ranting so much today I’m just really fucking done and have no other outlet 🙃
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Does anyone even listen to bad religion in their most emotional state??
#hello crule world#the way he delivers 'please forgive me' rips my heart out of my chest and puts me in 2017#personal#god i wonder if anyone but my mom remembers the extremely toxic duo of my 2017 x and I#ketamine healing rn#nice to kinda mentally be there while being relaxed#trauma dumb#tbh#so fucked up#one i was at the doctor with my mom and they asked if i had been in an abusive relationship and she said yes#anazing she could recognize that say it to me and still continue to emotionally abuse me for a few more years#i forgive and love my mom but like#would i if i hadnt moved away?#tw
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I'm going to eternally hate myself for the way I met Billie Piper but I do miss Rose Tyler on my screen and the newest Doctor Who clip indicates that Donna Noble had a daughter and named her Rose. I'm gonna scream.
#Doctor Who#It was the last showing of Yerma in New York City#and I was 2 weeks out of surgery for endo#Yerma is about a woman who goes crazy after infertility#it was really gripping and emotionally shattering and Billie gave a phenomenal performance#and I idolized her#I was leaving the bar at the theater and the whole cast was there#I could have just meekly asked for an autograph and slid out#but no my dumbass had met these young girls in the bar who were fangirling over Billie#they'd flown from some midwest state#and I went to tell THEM to get autographs#they got autographs I got nothing#to the girls I helped: I fucking hate you. I just do. I hate you both.#And to Billie I'm so sorry because that was so rude and wrong of me in the first place#I have never felt so embarrassed and upset for my actions#it even tops when my mom embarrassed me in front of an entire conference room at a con in front of Vic Mignogna#I learned David Tennant's advice of never meet your heroes#Tops even my cringe photoshoot with Misha Collins even#I'll never fangirl over an actor or such or dream of meeting one again I'm so sorry#I hate myself#anyway I wish Rose would come back just once as herself and not the moment but I guess we're lucky to have Billie in audio dramas for Who#sigh
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also hi everyone sorry I was gone for so long. my dad literally almost fucking died yesterday lol
#everyone can't stop FALLING OFF STUFF IN THIS HOUSE#THIS MAN#FELL FUCKING 13 FEET INTO CONCRETE#SLAMMED HIS NECK! HIS! NECK! ON ONE OF THE SCAFFHOLDING BARS!#AND DIDN'T DIE?????#I'm joking now because it's truly a miracle that he's alive. but I've never been more grateful for anything in my life#we spent all day and night the hospital waiting room#aaaand I had to fight a doctor because he was went off on my mom for asking a simple question#but anyways he's home now. broke his shoulder blade. no head damage at all#he's in a lot of pain but considering the fact that he hit his back and neck 13 feet into the ground and didn't die#I'll just take that as a fucking win#but in conclusion I just want people to stop almost dying on me because there's only so much first aid I can do in one house fr#it's been barely a month since my sister fell down the stairs and now this like?#I'm buying a one floor house this is ridiculous#rambles*
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#no because my parents have always been so weird to me from a medical standpoint#or abusive? neglectful. I don't know what i could possibly call this but#my Nystagmus. barely doing any research WHEN THEY ARE DOCTORS it's not like they don't know how to look stuff up#barely giving me any information on it. which crashed badly a few years ago when the dude at one of those glasses shops got scared by not#being able to give me full vision which promoted my parents into bullying me about possibly going blind and trying to twist it into being#my phone's usage fault. when low and behold! we go to an actual doctor. my vision didn't increase or decrease much and she says that#Nystagmus cannot be 20/20 THEN MY MOM STILL TRIES TO PROVE IT'S THE PHONE'S FAULT#also how they treated my Lyme Disease when i was little but I'm not. talking about that publicly.#and the fact that they were completely obsessed with the idea that I'd have a speech impediment back in the day#which was probably caused by the fact my sibling was Learns Very Early How To Talk And Does It Really Well flavour of autistic and I was#Barely Talks Very Late And Badly flavour of autistic#which meant they would force speech classes down my throat and when the teachers would go 'Nothing actually wrong with this kid' they'd#send me somewhere else#also the constant 'If you don't learn to talk correctly everybody will think you're stupid and they won't talk to you' which ok. ableist.#anyway the 'speech impediment' was your average 4 y o cannot pronounce r which i got over and they were still turning my life into hell#over it years down the line which meant i was in middle school convinced i had a speech impediment which at that point#WOULD HAVE BEEN A HEALTH ISSUE BUT WE DON'T TALK ABOUT THAT DO WE MOM/DAD#and i realised I don't only because my best friend went 'girl tf no you don't'#that is without to mention my father tried to ask me if i wanted surgery for my (inexistent) speech problem because he heard it fixed#someone else's kid problem#also in middle school i had some blood tests and they supposedly came back saying I'm anemic + i had strep but they didn't do anything#about that and at most blamed my anemia on my period which. i should probably get myself some bloodtests as an adult lol#then there is the one time they forced me to go to school with a mcfucking fever lol lmao#oh and also i would try to talk to them about these weird head tremors/seizures i have and they once again tried to blame it on my phone#only for my mom to see me having one recently and go 'oh yea lol i have them too it's normal' yes thank you /s#and they generally don't listen to me trying to sound the alarm about possible health issues i have unless my brother points them out...#aaaaand there is the entire shitshow they did to me when i was diagnosed with depression and put on pills#at least they are currently nicer about me saying i have autism but they didn't take me seriously at first neither...#egg.txt#vent
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sucks i may never be able to watch ted lasso or succession again bc i watched them while in the hospital and they make my atoms vibrate wrong
#also somebody somewhere. i really liked that but that was the day my dad got me a roku and i have a vivid memory of standing in the parking#lot as he got it out of the trunk of the xterra i totalled like. 6 years ago.#i would not have been standing anywhere. i couldn't lift my own head and also had no legs#the roku is just a little attachment and remote there's no reason for it to be in a trunk. also i kept asking to go swimming#i kept telling my mom to just ask the doctor if i could go swimming. i had no idea what was going on i just knew i was in pain and it was#really warm. except one night i woke up super thirsty and cold and didnt know why i couldn't move and i couldn't speak bc#i was still intubated and i kept trying. i thought i was in a motel in south myrtle beach for some reason. very specific#i kept hearing people go by and i hoped it was my mom or brother#wytxt
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my friends time and again as i tell them there are fruits I've never tried
#personal#thanks dan#i feel like a child who grew up on chicken nuggets despite that very much not being the case#but the fact that i had a refine and expanded palate compared to my peers uh. thats worrisome actually.#guy who realizes he grew up in an impoverished city for the first time#my dad would lie on the school sheet asking about his income so i was eligible for free school meals.#its very funny looking back on your past and being like huh. well that explains the weird relationship with food.#like my mom made sure to feed me a bunch of weird adult shit when i was a kid and teach me table manners#but i didn't really live with her after i turned 5. so my diet then consisted of my grandma's cooking and frozen meals#sorry now im getting really mad at my dad again being confronted with a doctor telling him i needed to eat more fiber and him just like.#passing that info onto me as if i was the one grocery shopping or choosing what i ate as a kid.#its not like I have a terrible diet either btw. its just limited btwn what i can physically prepare and what i can sensorily eat.
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