#trauma dumb

[kinkshame-puncher-666]

Does anyone even listen to bad religion in their most emotional state??

[jdeko]

I hate that I was right why Pippa has barely streamed all week, and why during the Mahjong stream she wondered aloud about self-harm dressed up in comedic terms. I like I want to make another “senpai noticed me, uwu” joke but my heart breaks for her. Listening to old collab streams with Lumi talking about how happy Yuri was coming to Phase, how she exploded into the discord and made friends with everyone and was way happier than at hers and Lumi’s previous company. Or from the few of Yuri’s streams I’ve listened to now, as if just to torture myself, she was always talking about improving her model, working on company projects, and speaking well of Sakana. Us plebes will probably never know what “repeated breaches of contract” Yuri did, nor what the back-and-forth of negotiations were before they reached the impasse that led to Yuri’s termination. I really don’t like that it’s almost certain that “Yuri” will cease to exist if Sakana really is nuking all her social media I doubt she will get to keep even the model she joined Phase with. So I wonder what terms could’ve been so bad that Yuri gave everything up instead of accepting them. I think back to a Phase Weekly where Yuri was showing off all her assets and toggles, and how watching an old stream of Pippa’s how she said she never really buys assets because she doesn’t own “Pippa” so she can’t justify spending money on an IP she doesn’t actually control and how in the end she was kinda proven right, though I doubt she feels any vindication in that. And I honestly can’t decide if I think any of the other Phase members even know the answers either. In one of those old streams with Lumi Pippa said she puts her gen mates and the Invaders before Phase, but with just Yuri being fired you have to imagine that puts her in a terrible situation. I realize I’m going full parasocial, both in binging Yuri’s content as if I’m spending time with a dying pet cat in order to savor memories, or in putting so much thought into the mental state of a pink anime rabbit girl and how her blue snow leopard friend getting fired makes her want to pour hot sauce in her eyes. It’s probably because Pippa is reacting the exact way I do, and am, to these sorts of things so it really hits home to me. And seeing comments on her videos I see a lot of people going “I hope you feel better, maybe you should see a doctor.” as if she has the flu, even after someone super-chatted asking if she is going to watch Yuri’s farewell video tonight and her voice went from “under the weather” to “dead inside” as she said she probably can’t bear to watch it for a long time. I’m probably a massive moron for sharing all this, but it’s my blog so I’ll trauma dump if I feel like it. This is a microcosm of my life right now seeming like I’m trying to carve out a little section of the world to try to live in only to have giants beyond any hope of me ever being able to sway one way or the other just crushing it all. So be it a slimy fish or a greasy witch shit just sucks right now.

[sharkomania]

I think I'm ugly whenever I leave my house.

I think my walking is weird.

I think my posture is wrong.

I think my zipper is down, my bag is open, my pants are ripped or stained, my makeup is off, my hair is messy.

I think I look as sad and lonely and pathetic as I feel.

So I try not to leave the house.

It doesn't help.

People I love tell me I'm pretty, but if that were true someone would have taken even a brief interest in me, before getting to know me and running away.

Life moves mysteriously, maybe I was put on this earth to be tortured and make art that lasts, like so many others before me.

Or maybe I'm just a dumb girl who got ridiculed and bullied all her life and now can never feel secure.

[tinkishhell]

I hate December and Christmas more each year and I genuinely don’t think I’m ever going to enjoy them again. Both are just filled with constant reminders of trauma and I don’t know how much more I can take. I want to scream. I want to cry. I want to rip my hair out. I just don’t wanna do this anymore.

[cynicallyneutral]

「coward」

[nonbinarywh0r3]

Rape a baby into my womb, sir? I want a stranger to find me in a bar, and for him to drag me outside. He would try to fuck me, and id try to stop him because im not on birth control and ovulating. That would set him off and he would rape me in the alley, pumping his cum as deep into me as possible.

[doll-for-you-11]

Sometimes I wish I had been raised religious. Because the fantasies about being molested or raped by a pastor or priest are so hot.

This older man you trust completely. That your parents and family trust completely. Asks to be alone with you. He takes to to a room says you've been bad and theres only one way to get back into Gods good graces.

You have to let go of the evil. The entire time he's groping your tits and ass. Rubbing a hand under your skirt over your pussy. He tells you he knows youve been bad because he can feel how wet you are. But its okay because he can fix it. But you have to help him be ready and you have to keep it a secret because youre his favorite and he can't help everyone this way.

You get him ready by getting his cock hard. You have to suck it and get it nice and hard and sticky or it wont work and when youve done that he has to use it to remove the devil from your pussy.

He says itll hurt but he has to remove it as he pushes his cock into your tiny pussy. He tells you you'll know its leaving when you start to feel it in your stomach. He thrusts hard. It hurts but then you feel it.

It builds and he rubs your clit and tells you itll help it hurt less. Your body shakes and you yell out as you feel it leaving your body and he tells you you have to taste God's milk to keep the devil away as you pulls you up and cums down your throat.

He tells you you have to swallow every drop or we have to start over.

When you're done he tells you its not permanent. The devil could come back. You'll know if he does because youll want to put something inside you and your pussy will get wet.

When that happens you have to come back to him and have this done again. And it has to stay secret or people may think you're evil but he knows you're not. He just has to help you. But he'll have a meeting with you every sunday to check. And if you get wet when he touches you he'll know its the devil and he'll have to fix you again.

[adorabledrugl0rd]

Imagine having your dead uncle’s spirit following you around and the weight of what your life is hits you all at once while you’re breaking into a high security building

couldn’t be me

I don’t know why but I can’t stop drawing @somerandomdudelmao Casey

he’s so cute and fun to draw even in my sloppy art style

[cutieyumbun]

[artieseni]

treyarch!!! make eddie a pathetic little meow meow like primis ricky and my life! is yours!! also give us the homoerotic subtext

reference! dempsey finally snaps and beats up richtofen but then ricky pulls out his goofy smile and dempsey's annoyed he can't control his fluttering heart ok ty bye

[samble-movedd]

everyone should like madoka kaname. everyone on this website. everyone on this planet.

[tinkishhell]

December sucks ass, wake me up when it’s January 1st cause I do not have the mental capability of coping with another ‘festive period’ where all I do is relive trauma from my childhood 🙃😴

[jellyfishfem]

grooming is when *checks notes* we talk about the dangers of the sex industry

[depravedsafehaven]

The idea of a Man forcing me to talk about my rape trauma while I stroke him off. Telling him every little detail until I'm a sobbing mess. So he can later re-enact it with me. Always been a big fantasy of mine.

But lately have been fantasising how he could also force me to tell my trauma to his friends or strangers online.

[pandoratheprocrasticreator]

oh the entire episode when gus was trying to connect with hunter through bootleg star trek 😭 😭 😭 he brought it up completely out of the blue and immediately told hunter about the clone character 😭 😭 😭 and later he told hunter that the character gus himself dressed up as already knew he was a clone 😭 😭 😭 he was trying to talk to hunter what he saw in belos’s mind but he didn’t want to bring it up too suddenly in case hunter got upset 😭 😭 😭

[glitterforashes]

𝐛𝐞𝐞𝐩 𝐛𝐨𝐨𝐩 ; 𝐬𝐚𝐥𝐥𝐲 𝐟𝐚𝐜𝐞 𝐝𝐫𝐚𝐛𝐛𝐥𝐞𝐬

>>> drabbles for the main sally face boysss, sal fisher, and larry johnson. sal’s is inspired by bubblegum by clairo, larry’s is inspired by east liberty by partnextdoor.

𝐬𝐚𝐥𝐥𝐲 𝐟𝐢𝐬𝐡𝐞𝐫 —

mildly obsessed with the uncertainty of ghost hunting.

too curious for his own good. literally curious george. the curiosity that killed the cat.

laid-back, doesn’t give a damn about most things.

has a very deep voice for a teenager. sounds like a literal grown man.

sometimes you can’t tell if he’s even awake.

“sal? sally? sal??” he’s just staring into the void.

“what?” he had to sneeze. that’s why he paused and went radio silent for two minutes straight.

you spend most of your time in his room, curled up on his bed reading while he sits on his bean bag chair and plays video games.

sometimes turns around to make sure you’re still awake / doing okay.

one time you put a toy rat next to him. he nearly shit his pants when he noticed it.

“(y/n)?” “hm?” “you’re fuckin’ ugly.”

doesn’t mean it. apologizes right after. he thinks he’s so funny.

grew comfortable enough around you to lift up his mask far enough to eat.

whenever you sleep over, he’ll take off his mask once all the lights are off.

loves watching movies with you, especially when there’s snacks involved.

will listen to every sanity falls album over and over again with you.

you had been switching between reading, doing homework, and playing video games for close to five hours, well into the twilight era of the night. it was 10pm when you decided to start getting ready for bed, being as both of you had school in the morning. you showered as sal brushed his teeth and combed through his hair, then switched. sal showered as you did your skincare and brushed your teeth and put your hair up. you both fell into his bed after he switched the light off, taking your respective sides. you liked to sleep next to the wall for the purpose of putting your body against it if it got too hot, and sal liked sleeping closest to the door for emergency purposes. you wore his tshirt and boxers, and he wore boxers. you turned over to face him, propping your arm underneath your head. he laid with his hands behind his head, staring up at the ceiling. “sal?” “hm?” his gruff voice always soothed you in a strange way. “can i.. touch you?” you heard the movement of the sheets as he turned his head. even in the dark you could tell he was looking at you. “what?” “can i touch you? like, your face?” sal had never let you see his face up to this point. he preferred to keep it hidden, only sometimes letting you see his lips. he was silent. “you don’t have to.” “okay. you can.” you looked at where you assumed he was, breathing in deep. “are you sure?” “yeah.” he whispered. you slowly reached out, feeling out for where his face was. you found it, your fingertips pressing lightly against his cheeks. he flinched under your touch, a sharp inhale sounding through the little space you had between your bodies. “are you okay?” you whispered, starting to retract your hands. “yes. it’s fine.” you nodded, swallowing a lump in your throat that wouldn’t go away. you loved sal. you knew vaguely of his past and understood where the roots of his insecurity started, but societally accepted face or not, nothing would change your love for him. you gently ran your fingers over the expanse of his skin, feeling his lips and cheekbones, and the dips. the missing flesh, the scars. and you loved it. loved him, loved what made him so unique. you pulled your hands away slowly, grinning to yourself. you could hear the quiet sniffle. “sal? are you alright?” “do you think i’m.. gross?” he asked. your heart broke. you moved closer and wrapped your arms around him, resting your head against his chest. his arm slung over your body naturally, pulling you closer. “no, sally. i could never. you’re beautiful.” he turned his head, resting his face on your hair. you felt the very slight puckering of his lips as he kissed the crown of your head. “thank you.”

𝐥𝐚𝐫𝐫𝐲 𝐣𝐨𝐡𝐧𝐬𝐨𝐧 —

his mom LOVES YOU. absolutely adores you. you two have girls nights all the time.

took you to the sanity falls concert tour for your birthday, kissed you in the rain, and took you home sopping wet. your dad wasn’t pleased.

“uh— we got caught in the rain, sir.” “i see that.”

apologized for weeks. it still makes you laugh.

smokes so much weed it’s a miracle he remembers his name.

“hey man, how’s my driving?” “…i think we’re parked, man.” vibes

you’re constantly sleeping over at his place, you have a drawer in his dresser dedicated to your belongings.

is very meticulous with his hair. has a hair care routine. refuses to cut it for any reason.

has painted you on multiple occasions. boudoir shoots happen often.

“paint me like one of your french girls.”

loves watching horror movies with you.

is surprisingly very gentle and sweet, especially when you’re upset. unless it’s with travis. fuck travis. all my homies hate travis.

“hey, girl. what’s the matter?”

holds you until you feel better and is very patient

listens to the sanity falls albums constantlyyy it drives you crazy.

“larry— stop. you’re gonna green out.” he exhaled a huge cloud of smoke directly into your face, smirking. “greening out is a make-believe concept made up by losers who can’t handle their marijuana.” you swear larry only knows big words when he’s high. when he’s sober, he has the articulation of the average seventh grader, but when he’s high he turns into fucking shakespeare and it’s crazy. specifically because if he’s high, there’s a good chance you’re high, and you won’t understand half the shit he says. the sound of the tardy bell rattled against your skull as it rung throughout the entire school, screaming at you and larry to get to class before the dean came hunting you down. you took one more big drag from the blunt you two had rolled during study hall before stamping it out and throwing it in the toilet, flushing the evidence. you two shuffled out of the tiny bathroom stall, looking at each other proudly. “sniff me.” you stepped closer and sniffed his shirt, him doing the same for you. “nah, i think we’re good.”

ya’ll were not good. both of you smelled absolutely rank, so it was truly no surprise when you ended up in the dean’s office, but it surprised you to see larry sitting in the office waiting area with a bloody nose. “oh, hey man.” you fist bumped him as you plopped into the chair next to him, manspreading the entire seat. “what happened to your face?” “fuckin’ travis wanted to run his mouth. kicked his ass, but when i turned around he clipped me in the nose. kicked his ass again, now i’m here.” “word.” you were so faded it was humorous. “what about you? what’d you do this time?” “ms. fat tits sent me out because i was ‘stinking up the room’ and if i ‘wanted to smoke pot and ruin my mind’ i needed to do it at home.” you cackled, larry joining in.

“is something funny?” the principal asked the both of you. you straightened up and held your breath, shaking your head no. you and larry looked at each other from the corner of your eyes simultaneously and you exploded with laughter. long story short you both got suspended for three days. did you give a fuck? hell no. hence why you were now in larry’s room in nothing but a sanity falls tshirt and underwear, rolling up another fat one. “you’re my favorite person, y’know that?” “(y/n), shut the fuck up.” he shook his head, pressing a kiss to your cheek. “you’re my favorite person too.”