#one day i'll have stuff done ; ;

[july-19th-club]

seriously have been thinking about this all night long. call me autistic but the fact that 90% of workplaces the point is not to get your work done and then be done doing it but to instead perform an elaborate social dance in which you find something to do even when you're done doing everything you need to do in order to show your fellow workers that you, too, are Working . because you are at Work . disgusting why cant we all agree that if there is no work immediately to be done. we just dont do anything

[lazylittledragon]

first makeup test for orin!! don't look at the wig i couldn't be bothered to glue it down

[rosieofcorona]

.

[beargregor]

Chef greg delivery just for you. it's a wonder I hadn't bearified him yet, he's my fave greg too 🔪

gays literally only want one thing (to be chopped up and eaten by a depressed man) and it's fucking disgusting

[mxnster-soul]

Heya guys/gals/and fellow nonbiney pals!

[fellamarsh]

another thing i've been trying to do recently is read more self-published stuff. "but fell," you say, "you're a self-published author. surely you've been reading self-published stuff all along" and then i laugh for so long in response we both become uncomfortable.

see, the fear (which has for a long time been killing my mind) that i'll read other self-published stuff and find out that it's so much better than mine that i might as well stop writing forever kept me from doing that basically ever. i have a hard time not unfavorably comparing my work to others and had convinced myself i was being smart by withholding an avenue of de-motivation (reader: i was not being smart). it also doesn't help that i'm pretty low income and have a hard time spending money on books i haven't already read, and that self-published stuff isn't always available at the library---but really a lot of it was just me being a coward. which i'm working on. i could talk about how this particular cowardice is Very Silly, but i think enough has been said about it on writeblr and in the Writing Space in general that i don't feel the need to (though i will if anyone wants me to).

instead, i wanna talk about the self-published things i have read in the past few months and ask about the self-published things you love!

so: what happened was i got real sick, and while i was real sick i (naturally) read over 200,000 words of ace attorney fan fiction in the span of a few days. eventually i got bored of it (and also maybe annoyed at how people were characterizing some of my guys), but i still wanted to read something gay and romantic and nice, something i knew was gonna end happily, which isn't my typical fare.

now you may be saying (having gotten over all the uncomfortable laughter from earlier) "fell, you write gay romance. what do you mean that's not your typical fare?" listen. until a couple months ago i hadn't read a cut and dry romance novel since before i finished college. for context: i graduated in 2015. i know it doesn't make sense. i'm a guy who doesn't make sense.

but in this case it worked to my advantage. not the not making sense thing, but the not having read Published Romance in 1000 years thing. I didn't know where to start. I was very skeptical of everything the library had Available Now in the Gay Fantasy Romance category. what if it was all bad and also not good?

and then i scrolled past the familiar cover of our very own @ashen-crest's A Rival Most Vial.

now this was comfortable territory! this was a novel by a very nice writeblr person whose posts i enjoy! i already loosely knew the plot, i was familiar with the characters, i knew the names of things like rosemond street and the griffin's claw and that ambrose had blue hair and that at the end of it all there would definitely be Boyfriends. i didn't have to worry that this would be bad! i only had to worry that it would be really good!

but i wasn't worried about that, because i was officially Not Writing at the time, and because why the hell hadn't i read this book yet Ash literally emailed me some very kind words last year when my cat died??

Y'all, I devoured ARMV. If you haven't read it yet---especially if cozy fantasy is more your thing than it is mine---you should check it out Immediately. It was fun! It was heartwarming! It was sweet and earnest and confident! I was delighted to find it was occasionally hot! Ambrose and Eli snuggled up into my sick exhausted heart and found a permanent little place there. (Especially Ambrose. I have such a thing for Stiff Guys who Kind of Suck for Tragic Backstory Reasons and are So So Lonely They Don't Even Realize It. gawd)

(And a very small part of my brain spent the whole time wondering why I had been so afraid to really engage with the work my community is doing. The community that I'm in. The one I'm a part of. Why?! Maybe more on that later.)

But from there the curse was broken! I immediately devoured @stjohnstarling's What Manner of Man in a similar sort of frenzy (and hooooly shit guys am I excited for the expanded, finalized version to come out at the end of next month!) and started digging into @lurinatftbn's The Flower that Bloomed Nowhere (which I can already tell is going to be an All Time Favorite).

And now I want to ask you what your favorite self-published books are so that I can read them, too, but I think I will in another post that doesn't dedicate so much space to talking about my various and sundry Issues and isn't Terminally Long

[triangle-strategy-notes]

Giovanna Concept Art

Giovanna's concept art! Translation notes and image ids below the cut.

Translation Notes:

"Mineral Maniac" could also have been "Mineral Mania".

"Pre-game, fatigued" was a little ambiguous because the kanji at the end wasn't really a word, but the character had a potential meaning of "to become fatigued", so I just went with that.

"100% bedhead" was literally "all bedhead" or "complete bedhead."

All the sound effects were swapped out for more English-sounding ones. The "YAAAWN" was "Fwahh", the "SHING" was "PAAA", and the "Mnn" was "Naa".

"For the sake of research, the chosen dyes were applied..." was a little hard to parse and I feel like I might have missed some of the meaning. Literally it seemed something more like "for the good of research, the right/right-hand dyes were used on..."

"Boots from school for ease of mining" was also kind of weird, might have been saying something more like "cheap school mining boots [to be used for mining]"

The "Gal Who Studies the Playing Field" heading was literally something like "Game-Board Studying Guy [gender neutral]".

The "Gal Who Studies the Playing Field" heading and the same heading but with "Alternate" attached seem to kind of be swapped, but that was how it was on the original page, so I left it.

Image Id:

[id: Two pages of concept art from the Triangle Strategy artbook centered around Giovanna. The first page has a colored and uncolored version of her canon portrait, as well as a designer's note that reads, "The contrast between Giovanna's soft, fluffy design and the sharpness of the rock is really an appealing point of contrast, isn't it? (Rina Yoshiura)".

The second page has several drawings of Giovanna, most of which highlight her sleepiness or her messy outfit. She's labeled "Mineral Maniac", and her necklace has a note that reads, "The stone around her neck is the first one she ever found." She holds a shining gem with a "SHING…" sound effect. One sleepy drawing is labeled "Pre-game, fatigued". By her hair on another drawing is a note that says, "True color is blonde, messy parts are dyed sections." A note pointing to her lab coat reads, "For the sake of research, the chosen dyes are applied to the clothes and hair". She is noted to have large gloves and large boots as well as a pair of magnifying glasses with lenses that can be lifted and lowered. Another note explains that she "wears a lab coat over her underclothes". Next to a sleepy and disgruntled drawing there is some dialogue that reads, "Mnn… What a hassle… I'll just put off whatever I don't want to do". Another drawing of her yawning has the caption "Always sleeping" and "100% bedhead".

The second half of the page is labeled "Gal Who Studies the Playing Field (Geologist?)" and "Gal Who Studies the Playing Field (Geologist) Alternate". There is a drawing of a much more severe version of Giovanna with dark hair and a scholar's outfit. Some details are pointed out, including some suspenders on the back of the outfit and a small ice axe and case of mining accessories that she wears on her hip. There is also a caption that reads, "Uses the first gemstone she found on her own as a brooch." Another note points to her boots and reads, "Boots from school for ease of mining". An illustrator's note at the bottom of the page reads, "Using the uptight-looking young woman on the lower half as a springboard, she eventually became an eccentric character who's completely absorbed in researching stones and wears a lab coat over her underthings. The colorful paints on her clothes are pigments extracted from the stones. (Urushihara Tatsuaki) /end id]

[daily-xisuma]

[025] I memorized the enochian characters for use as a cipher :-)

[billpottsismygf]

Mockumentaries

The mockumentary format can be really fun, but I've been thinking more and more about how it's not always used to its best effect. Binge watching Abbott Elementary is what has really brought some of the specifics of this into focus, and it's what is freshest in my mind at the moment, but it isn't limited to one show. My problems with it manifest in many ways, and there's nuance to all of them, but to boil them down to their essentials it's usually:

Characters doing/admitting things they want to keep secret, either from the world or from other characters, while aware they are being filmed

Shows going on for years and years, which indicates either that the documentary crew are sitting on years' worth of footage or that the fictional documentary is being released year by year equivalent to how we see the real show

Characters going off to have private moments and acting as if there isn't a cameraman (or several for all those extra angles) two feet away from them.

On the first point, especially egregious examples include the breaking of laws or rules. My main example, because it's the episode I'm halfway through right now and the thing that compelled me to make this post right now, is everyone at Abbott trying to hide the fact that they got the computers as bribes from the golf course. Even if they deceive this one guy (I'm five minutes from the end), it's going to get out eventually via this documentary they're all so happily admitting it to. This goes for various things throughout the show, including more than one plot-important blackmailing.

Even when it isn't something illegal, there are plenty of things that characters are trying to keep secret from other characters, and yet they're brazenly doing or talking about it on camera. Relating this to the second bullet point, it is thus weird when characters find out information in later seasons from interactions with one another, when they should have found that out from watching the prior season (if we assume that is how the documentary functions).

I thought about these first two bullet points a lot during the latter seasons of What We Do in the Shadows, particularly whenever the characters would emphasise that vampires are meant to be secret (eg. when Nandor appeared on the news and they freaked out, or when Nadja yelled at Nandor for sponsoring a marathon during the Vampiric council stuff). They did at least fix all this in the final episode, with the vampires explaining that they've had many documentaries made about them and none of them have ever aired, which is the sort of absurdity that fits really well in the wwdits universe. Even so, this was a last minute addition and my experience of the show as a whole was (very slightly) marred by this dissonance.

On the third bullet point, this is possibly the most egregious because it often takes me out of the most emotional scenes. This especially goes for characters sneaking off to be alone. Sometimes we only see these moments from a distance, as the camera crew has to sneak an angle to catch the character unawares, which works a lot better. Sometimes, though, this goes out the window. Because I watched it yesterday, my mind goes to Janine leaving her School District party to be alone in her office, where there are two different close up angles from inside this very small room. It's not inconceivable that she'd still be able to experience this big moment without acknowledging that she's being filmed from very close up, but it doesn't feel entirely realistic, and there are plenty of similar moments throughout Abbott Elementary and other shows.

There are lots of other little things that can break the immersion - such as the (multiple) cameras already being in the flower classroom when Janine and Gregory have their first kiss, given that J&G think the place is locked and no one is meant to be there. So, the camera crew just ran ahead, got inside and waited, then Janine and Gregory break in and don't even acknowledge the fact that these people who've been filming them for however long are already in there? - but it would be impossible to name them all individually.

It works best for me when the cameras are acknowledged as part of the world. You want to make it so that these characters know they're being filmed? Use that! For example, when Janine and Gregory actually get together and have their second kiss, Gregory dismisses and shuts them out! It still felt weird to me that they started kissing when the cameras were right there, but I love that they chose to acknowledge that it would be forced and unnatural for these two characters to finally get together while a camera crew stared at and filmed them at close quarters.

Anyway, this isn't supposed to be a rant against any particular show's use of the mockumentary format (apologies to Abbott for being my main source of examples). It's more an observation of the way it's used (or misused) in general. If I could be bothered, I'd watch a bunch of shows and take notes every time something bothers me, but it's not that big of a deal. I can see why showrunners choose the mockumentary format, as it allows characters to express their thoughts directly to camera. This can be very valuable, especially since theatrical soliloqoys feel out of place in most standard TV shows. However, while I can suspend my disbelief to an extent, it does often take me out of the world and I'd love to see more care taken when figuring out how the fact that these characters are being filmed would affect the way they act.

[iknowwhereyousleepatnight]

almost january which means it's almost st sebastian's feast day which means it's almost light yagami's death day which means it's almost february which means it's almost valentine's day which means im six months behind on all of my projects

[balmungkriemhild]

Nobody follows me for Honkai stuff as far as i'm aware but who gives a shit. this is Rêverose, she's a Knight of Beauty and she hates herself because she "wasn't pious enough" to stop the Fall of Idrila. TBH she couldn't have stopped that shit she just has a lot of self-hate and other issues

[justarandomlambblog]

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5 [END]

The second shackle comes off

Get adopted and feel loved, mangey cat

We're gonna pretend I didn't give Heket the wrong shaped crown aight? aught 👍

(explanation beneath the cut bc I didn't want dialogue)

The harvest comes. Narinder can't help but notice how sad the wheat fields are, the wheat growing small and patchy at best. He remembers how Heket would make the wheat fields flourish just by walking between the stalks. The memory of the fields she would create early in their godhood makes him feel somber, realizing now what the cost of being a godless land is; their entire lives are left to the limitations of the earth, without any god to help them thrive. These people are making the best of what they have, and they're happy even though it's not a lot.

Narinder notices some are harvesting wheat while others till the earth once it's been harvested, and the old dog explains that once this wheat is harvested they plant "winter wheat", which can be harvested in the spring before they plant their summer wheat. They till and fertilize the earth before planting the winter wheat, of course. Narinder tries his hand at harvesting the wheat, and the old dog begins to teach him how to use the sickle. Time passes.

Over the late summer, autumn and winter, Narinder learns how to live this provincial, modest life. He tills the fields with the other villagers, he sees feral beasts for the first time in over a thousand years, learns to collect eggs from said feral beasts, learns how and decides he doesn't like to collect milk (the godless lands have more feral beasts than the Lands of the Old Faith ever did), has finally regained enough strength to draw water from the village well without help, learns to bake bread (with great amounts of help so as to not waste the precious resources with the inevitable first fifty failures), and attends his first lantern festival. All in all, this marks his approach to his second year here, most of his first year spent indoors recovering. (His fur is also getting long, something something new me new hair something (totally not an excuse for me to draw hair))

At his first lantern festival, Narinder decides to partake in what is usually a coming of age tradition for the village; he gets an ear piercing, choosing a symbol that will essentially act as his written name. He chooses a symbol that is a crescent moon inside of a sun, thinking of Aym and Baal when he sees it. (Note: He is not scared/nervous about the ear piercing, he isn't bothered by a literal pinprick of pain, but the fact that someone he barely knows is this close with a needle is what worries him)

Later on, days or even weeks later, the old dog gives him a chain with their individual symbols on it, with a loose chain hanging from the other side of Narinder's sun-and-moon charm. Narinder questions this and the old dog explains the symbolism behind the charms; two charms with a chain extending between them indicates marriage/partnership, and two charms with another charm on the chain between them indicates that couple's child/children. The one Narinder has is the latter, with the second parent's charm missing, indicating that the old dog views Narinder as his own son, now. It takes a moment, but Narinder realizes all at once that this is the old dog's way of extending an invitation to become family- and it's been so long since Narinder had a family... (And yes, the old dog is fully aware that this cat is thousands of years old (Narinder was very vocal about this in the first weeks before he eventually stopped bringing it up), but that won't stop him from deciding he's gonna be this abandoned, fallen god's new family)

Narinder goes to sleep, and finds that despite everything- despite how simple and quaint and, frankly, not easy life in this little godless village is, he's happy. He has none of the luxuries that he had as a Bishop; no worship, no reverence, no servants, no silks or satins or veils or anything of the sort. Here he's just... one of the people. Just another face in the crowd. And he's happy. Happier than he's been in a long time. Unfortunately for Narinder, he is failing to realize that this godless village is a little less godless every day he's there. But that's not necessarily a bad thing.

The village wakes up to their fields flourishing like they never have before. The wheat is taller than the tallest villager, and no one is really sure what to do about this, but there is excitement throughout the village. Narinder thinks of Heket again, reminded once more how she would make the fields come alive. The shackle on his left hand opens up before dispersing into light, and he remembers the way she looked at him in the days leading up to his imprisonment, the quiet and somber warnings she would give him. He takes a moment to grieve before turning his attention back to the present, back to the family he's creating now.

[kedreeva]

We haven't had snow that sticks for more than a couple of hours this year yet. The birds don't generally like the snow very much, or at least they do not like walking in it. They like eating it though

[keeps-ache]

sigh. i think i just do not like dogs very much lol

[b4kuch1n]

fuck it sk8 sketches from da sketchbook. get sk8ed idiot

[pareidolla]

so since Cage is the theme for your profile, I wanna know what your thoughts on the Cage herself are

hmm well i chose cage as the account's theme because i want to be her. i want to be broken's beloved so so so badly. but i'm not a 50' feet deity nor can i wear my own flesh as a dress nor can i fuse myself with the wilds. and sure my body can't drag my severed head around in a cage either but she's the normalest and arguably the most romantic princess he shares a route with. cannot count the amount of times i've rewatched the broken-cage route and swooned. i am living vicariously through her.

but of course i like her seperate from being broken's no.1 simp lmao. infact, back when the pristine cut originally came out, i thought cage was my favorite princess after tower/apotheosis (who is at the top since she makes me froth at the mouth). after further consideration, razor definitely takes that top slot, but it's novel i felt that strongly about her.

it would be difficult for me to rank any of them past apo/razor because i like all of them, albeit some i like as characters but don't resonate much with their tradgegies (damsel) and others i'm obsessed with them as thematic pieces but their actual character falls flat (witch). fortunately cage hits both cool girl and prime whump material!

prisoner didn't initially pique my interest, but cage developed her character in a way that utterly captivated me. her quiet acceptance to her fate, especially when combined with the "you deserver this" cabin intro from p&ad just hits so hard. the princess will always be denied the one thing she desires, and seeing one dutifully assumes her role hurts. just makes breaking the cycle with her feel so earned, y'know? seeing her soften up and make the occasional joke feels amazing given how much harsh princess rightfully never wants to show an ounce of vulnerability.

tl;dr she's great. now let me into your body, woman

(also she's very figure it out -core by orla gartland and i love orla i'm going to shill for her please listen to her she's very cheatedcore to me aswell)