#once again. thats also shit that gets better way way into our relationship but thats not as FUN

[cherry-shipping]

i think its funny that my ship with sans (regular sans, that is, since hes my favorite guy forever) is also the only selfship with sans thats, like, normal and good. i only have self inserts for 2 aus (read: the only ones i care about even a little) and theyre both very objectively fucked

[running-tweezers]

You know, I never really talk about the specifics as to why I’m so cautious about fandom and what I get involved in on here. And also as a result why I’m often really scared to interact with people. But I was recently talking about my experience with a friend and doing a lot of unpacking with myself. And as tough as it is, I think I want to share, in case it might help someone.

CW: threats of death and sexual assault, unwanted romantic/sexual advances, suicide, toxic relationships

I will try to make this as concise as possible but no promises lol

It was around 2014. I was about 19/20. I had recently started being more active in a fandom that will remain unnamed. This fandom was by far the biggest one I’ve ever been a part of, but not a big super fandom, like Superwholock or Marvel or whatever was big at the time. And this piece of media was everything to me. I kept up with new content religiously. I went to conventions. I cosplayed. I have beloved memories with irl friends attached to it. It brought me such genuine joy, and there’s a part of me that’s sad it’s been so poisoned for me that I can’t look at anything related to it anymore.

I was just starting to dip my toe into the online fandom aspect of things, and I was looking for people to follow. I saw someone make a post about my favorite character, and I agreed with the take so hard, it was as if I wrote it myself. So I followed instantly. Not long after, that blog followed me back, and sent me a DM. We’re gonna call him G.

G introduced himself and asked me if I followed him because I read his fanfic. I didn’t even know he wrote fanfic. Turns out G was a WAY bigger deal in the online fandom than I realized. He had written what was, at the time, the longest running piece of fanfiction for this fandom. He was what some might consider a “Big Name Fan”. I was so shocked that someone that big wanted to follow me, a tiny blog who was better known for posting about musical theater before getting into this fandom.

We talked about my favorite character for a while, and then started talking in the DMs more regularly after that. I was so excited that I was making a friend within this fandom. And someone so well known! It was crazy! I did read his fanfic, it definitely wasn’t for me, not my cup of tea, but that was fine! I didn’t need to tell him that, that would be rude! So I lied, and told him I loved it. I also told him I loved one of his favorite ships, even though I was pretty eh on it, didn’t care one way or the other. But I couldn’t hurt his feelings! This was a new friend!

That was mistake number one, but also maybe what ended up saving me.

After a while, our conversations turned a little more personal, talking about our lives outside of fandom. That’s when things started getting weird. G seemed like he maybe wanted something more than friendship. I was pretty clear that I was in a serious relationship at the time and not available (which was true, that relationship is now my wonderful husband) and he would back off a bit. But soon he was back on it again, reblogging my selfies with strings of heart eye emojis, sending me ask game responses straight up telling me that he thought I was hot and he had a crush on me, basically pushing things as far as he could without crossing a line.

Never once did I consider unfollowing him, or blocking him though. Because after we became friends I started to see that G was not afraid of calling people out. He had enough sway that he could turn a large swath of people against someone if he talked shit in a post. And honestly, he was ruthless. If I turned him down outright, or stopped talking to him, that could be me he went after next. Thats when I became absolutely terrified of upsetting him. So I kept putting up with his advances, kept praising his fanfic I didn’t like, kept talking all about this ship he loved, kept listening to him talk shit about people who didn’t agree with his opinions, kept talking to him like we were buddies. But I was scared.

It wasn’t until much much later down the line that realized I was essentially in a controlling and abusive relationship with this guy. The fact that it was platonic and not romantic (at least on my end) clouded that for me in the moment. My life revolved around online fandom, the drama, the discourse, and making sure my opinions lined up with his so he wouldn’t get mad at me.

That’s how it went until shit eventually hit the fan. I was gone for a while and I couldn’t get online for a week or so. I remember worrying that he was gonna get mad that I wasn’t answering him. So when I got the chance to go online again I went to check. And G was gone. Account deactivated. I was so confused, so I went digging in the fandom tag.

Turns out G had been exposed for sending very detailed and personal death and rape threats to people who didn’t agree with him. People who didn’t ship his favorite ship. People who didn’t like his fanfic. He had been sending these threats the entire time I knew him.

I have never felt such retroactive fear in my entire life. I was one of the people who didn’t agree with him on everything. I didn’t ship his favorite ship. I didn’t like his fanfic. I just lied and said I did to placate him. If he was sending such detailed and personal death and rape threats to total strangers on the Internet, I cannot imagine what he might have done had he found out I also didn’t agree with him. Someone he thought was his friend. Someone he was obviously romantically and sexually attracted to.

And I realized that just because he deactivated his account, that didn’t mean he was gone. He could very easily make another account. He could find me again.

That filled me with such dread that I quit tumblr. I left this website and fandom entirely.

The next year was what I consider one of the worst of my entire life mentally. Not all of it was because of this, but I think this experience, plus a lot of things about fandom/tumblr culture in general at the time were definitely the one jenga block I pulled that knocked the whole tower down. I ended up trying to take my own life that year. Fortunately that didn’t happen and I got help that I desperately needed.

I debated coming back to tumblr for a long time. I was gone from online fandom for 8 years. And I missed it. It wasn’t all bad. I missed the joy it was capable of bringing me. So now that I’m nearly 30, I decided to come back so I could join the Redacted community, because it had become such an intense hyperfixation. I figured I had grown, and I knew how to set boundaries and control my time online now. And for the most part I have. There are for sure still times where I see things within this community that trigger old feelings, and sometimes I wonder if coming back was a mistake. But for the most part I’m really proud of myself for coming back and making the experience of being part of a fandom a positive one again.

If you feel like fandom is becoming a place that is hurting you, PLEASE. Set boundaries. Take control of your time online. Nothing and nobody in any fandom is more important than taking care of yourself and your mental health. It may seem so incredibly important but at the end of the day? It’s only tumblr. There is a great big world out there and this is a teeny tiny slice of it. Don’t let that tiny slice ruin everything else, ok? If I can help one single person by sharing this, it will have been worth it.

[tarabyte3]

It doesn't matter how old Obi-Wan is. Qui-Gon has known him since he was a child. He raised him and is a father figure to him. He shouldn't ever be attracted to him! How do you know see how creepy that is?

Not only that but people draw art of Obi-Wan as small and childlike in sexual situations with him all the time where you can see his padawan braid. So stop acting like thats ok. The whole ship is disgusting.

Okay, so you just like arguing with me specifically then? Is this our enemies to lovers arc? Are you flirting with me? You wanna fuck me so bad it makes you look stupid.

Because you're not changing my mind here. All of this is just making me more stubborn. I will die on the Caesar hill, and I'm willing to die on the QuiObi hill, too.

Also, unfortunately, I cannot shut the fuck up and I'm sick of this. 🙃

Qui-Gon may have guided Obi-Wan as a mentor in the force, but he didn't raise him as a child in the way you imply. He didn't take Obi-Wan on as an apprentice until he was 13, and even then it was begrudgingly (he lost his previous Padawan, he was not interested in having another). He never showed affection or comforted him like a father figure. Instead, he actually fucked off a LOT and left his Padawan alone, so Obi-Wan half raised himself. Surprisingly, they didn't get along! They butted heads all the time! In several of the novels, Obi-Wan thinks about how complicated Qui-Gon is, how different they are, and how both of them are constantly struggling to understand one another. He reflects on how, despite that, they eventually (mostly) overcame their differences, became close over the years, and learned to work very well together. Like partners. He thinks about his friendship with Qui-Gon. Even in canon, it’s not as black and white as you make it out to be.

Plus, you do realize humans are complex beings. People change all the time. It's the consequence of being alive. Most people are not the exact same person from year to year, let alone 5, 10, or 12 years later. I’m sure as hell not. The nature of relationships change all the time, too. You can fall in and out of love with people. You can become estranged from them when you become too different from the people you were before. You can be friends with someone for years, and then, one day, something happens and suddenly you see them in a completely different light. For better or worse. That's love.

To your second point: My sibling in Satan, once again, you can be a Padawan and be an adult! They are not the same thing and it does not depend on age. Being a Padawan just means you're still learning to be a Jedi and all the responsibility and control that entails. How long that takes is different for everyone. Also, you do know that Obi-Wan is physically smaller than Qui-Gon, right? Like Ewan McGregor is 5’10”, but Liam Neeson is 6’4”. There is a natural 6 inch size difference between those two grown ass adult men. Like, have you seen what Obi-Wan's lightsaber looks like in his hand compared to in Qui-Gon's??!!? 🥵 Of course Obi-Wan looks smaller. He IS. It's not that deep, and it doesn't mean he's a fucking child! Stop being weird and gross about it.

And finally, and most importantly: THEY'RE. NOT. FUCKING. REAL. If you only look at them in The Phantom Menace, we know almost NOTHING about them, their relationship, or when they met. But even then, it still DOESN'T MATTER. Again, we're playing with dolls and making shit up! We can change it all to fit the way we want it! They can be whatever or whoever we want, in whatever capacity that means to us.

If you don’t personally like it, block the tag and move the fuck on, christ. It's not that hard! I shouldn't have to explain how to exist as a person on the Internet to you. I already have a child, I don't need another one.

Now good riddance ✌️

[manchineel-mistress]

in honor of our favorite 33 to 100000+ year old unemployed terrorist’s birthday (korean time), i present to you: puzzleshipping time loop au where yami yuugi gets worse instead of better from s0.

ok so we all know that the Gang(TM) got through some shit throughout the story, where they are pretty close to dying. a lot.

how consider, instead of making it through barely, they dont. (gets shot multiple times-)

ok but more specifically yuugi dies from the strain of shadow games and stress or a mishap in those games. and yami PANICS HE PANICS SO HARD PRAYING TO EVERY GOD THAT YUUGI DIDNT DIE AND THEN THE MAGIC OF THE PUZZLE ACTIVATES AND YAMI IS BACK IN TIME AND SAVES YUUGI and everyone gets out safe and sounds and sane :)

Except It Keeps Happening. Yuugi Keeps Dying. Yami Keeps Turning Back Time.

he can get it right if he just had another chance. he wont let yuugi die again. that wont happen and they would make it to the end of their journey this time-

Yuugi Dies To A Bully. (one more chance. please. i can make this right-)

Yuugi Dies To Silfer. (no please i not like this hes my partner i cant go on without him-)

Yuugi Dies To Marik. (NO NO THIS CANNOT STAND I WONT LET IT REMAIN THIS WAY-)

yami gets more desperate, protective, and unhinged as the cast makes it through their journey. he gets jumpy, withdrawn, and snaps at anything that might seem like a threat. his already tense relationship with kaiba because more testy as he loses trust in those around him other than yuugi’s close friends. hes also more violent and harsh, not really giving up penalty games like he does in the transition to duel monsters.

yuugi is scared of yami. he never quite got over it even with his friends’ acceptance of yami. but he also knows yami is scared and he cant pinpoint why exactly other than its related to protecting him. but hes also scared to ask because what if yami snaps at him. he doesnt want yami to hurt anymore but also doesnt want him to hurt anyone else.

eventually, the continuous use of extremely taxing magic starts eroding away at both of their souls. cracks form in yami’s soul room first. stair start crumbling and doors are barely holding on. yami slowly starts losing himself and he knows it, but he also cant let yuugi die. the cracks reach yuugi’s soul room after a while. a few of the toys start showing wear, board games losing pieces, cracks in the walls. thats when yami comes clean.

its a terrifying and heartwrenching experience for both the yuugis and the rest of their friends. Yuugi has been dying. These games are dangerous and they haven’t been making it through them like they thought. the only reason why yami kept going and pursuing his memories? because yuugi keeps encouraging him to find himself and he thinks he can protect yuugi better next time. and because he thinks that once hes gone, yuugi will be safe again.

they figure it out though. they make sure yuugi stays safe. why do they keep going? because yami deserves to know who he is, and yuugi is willing to risk his life to get there. as he already had, but this time it will actually be different.

and yami learns an important lesson on friendship, learning when to ask for help, and communication. and then we have the rest of  normal canon just with yami’s major ptsd and a slower to warm yami who is still willing to burn someone to the ground in like season 4.

how does this relate to orv? idk man i just think time loop and go “omg yjh vibes fr fr” i think it would be an interesting parallel between yami and yjh, they just match in my brain for some reason. doesnt quite follow yjh’s character arc tho LOL

anyway i like angsty time loop aus as much as i like silly time loop aus. they just have so much potential. here i just wanted yami to suffer :)

anyway back to silly au ideas

[ryuzakemo128]

Stranger Things Incorrect Quotes Part Four

Part one / Part Two / Part Three / Part Four / Part Five / Part Six / Part Seven

Dividers: Link

Masterlist

Marianna: I think I'm falling for you. Billy: Then get up.

Marianna: Wow, Billy, you want to hold my hand before marriage? How awfully lewd of you. Billy: We literally slept together yesterday. Marianna: That's NOTHING compared to the lewdness of holding hands.

Billy: Are you trying to seduce me? Marianna: Why, are you seducible?

Marianna: As top in this relationship, I think we should- Billy: I can't believe you're pulling rank on me.

Marianna: Look, last night was a mistake. Billy: A sexy mistake. Marianna: No, just a regular mistake.

Billy: When you said 'Magic in Bed', I wasn't expecting this... Marianna: *pulls out card from deck* Now, was this your card? Billy: Holy moly-

*At a speed dating event* Marianna: Oh wow, people are really shallow. Billy: Consider it a background check. For example: Do you have a death certificate? Marianna: *Checks their pulse* Sorry, not yet. Billy: Good, I'm not fucking a ghost again.

Billy: Marianna, you do remember when we agreed we were better off as friends, right? Marianna, naked in Billy's bed: No, I absolutely do not. Billy, already taking off his clothes: Fuck... Me neither.

Billy: Smart is attractive. Educate me on something I don't know! Marianna: The mouth of a jellyfish is also an anus. Billy: Stop.

Billy: I don't know how to tell you this, but... I love you. Marianna: That's great, Billy. Especially considering the fact we've been married for 6 fucking years.

Billy: Talk dirty to me, baby~ Marianna: The dishes. Billy: Wh- Marianna: They’ve been there for 4 days and it’s your turn to wash them. You still haven’t cleaned them and I have asked you to do so several times.

Marianna: You have to apologize to them Billy. Billy: Fine! But I must warn you that this might make me a better, nicer person and that is NOT the person you fell in love with!

Billy: Since we're in a relationship now, your clothes are my clothes too. Don't ask me why I have your shirt on, this is our shirt. Marianna: Fine, but when I come strutting in with your fuzzy socks I don't want to hear shit.

Billy: Did it hurt when you fell- Marianna: From heaven? Wow, I didn’t think you were such a flirt- Billy: No, I meant when you fell down the stairs. Marianna: ... Billy: You just laid there for 15 minutes.

Marianna: Why do you think I don’t like you? I do. I would kill for you. Marianna: Ask me to kill for you. Billy: ...First of all, calm down-

Billy: Marianna likes to say ‘you can be part of the problem or part of the solution,’ but I happen to believe you can be both.

Billy: I can do anything I put my mind to. I once figured out Marianna's phone number just by choosing random numbers.

Billy: We have a problem. Marianna: No, YOU have a problem. I have an idiot who keeps making them.

Billy: I like your new pants! Marianna: Thanks, they were 50% off! Billy: I’d like them better if they were 100% off. *winks* Marianna: The store can’t just give away clothes for free. Billy: Thats’s… not what I meant. Marianna: That’s a terrible way to run a business, Billy.

Billy: What are you eating? Marianna: You wouldn't like it, it's really salty. Billy: I like you, don't I?

Billy: Is this mistletoe? Marianna: Uh, no, no, that is basil. Billy: Too bad cause if it was mistletoe I was gonna kiss you. Marianna: Yeah, no, it’s still basil.

Marianna: Why can't any of you ever clean up after yourselves? Billy: I have a person who does that for me. Marianna: Yeah, ME. Billy: I'm glad you agree.

Billy: *on the phone* Hey Marianna, do you know my blood type? Marianna: Of course, it's B-. Billy: Oh, I guessed wrong. Excuse me, nurse-!

Billy: You look good in that hoodie. Marianna: You know where else I'd look good? Billy, zero hesitation: My bed. Marianna, at the same time: By you're side- wait, what?

Billy: Hi- Marianna: Leave before there's a terrible misunderstanding between my foot and your ass.

Billy: Go to sleep or you'll hate yourself in the morning! Marianna: I'll hate my self in the morning regardless.

Marianna: I feel like doing something stupid. Billy: I’m stupid, do me.

Eddie: I think we should have glow stick juice injected in our bones when we're born, so if we break our bones, we get a fun little surprise. Steve: What's the surprise? Marianna: Blood poisoning.

Eddie, in Steve’s window: I thought I’d find you here! Marianna, climbing past Eddie: WE COULD HAVE USED THE DOOR-

[nonclassyparty]

Okay so I just stayed up till 3am reading starring role and after putting it off for a while and honestly I can’t believe I ever did that?!?! Something wrong with me fr but this fic is just 🤌🏽🤌🏽🤌🏽

Okay let’s start of with our main girl!! I just want to hug her so bad. Although nothing excuses her behaviour towards Boyoung, I get why she’s the way she is especially to someone like yeosang. I hate how everyone seas as this ditzy, rich girl with no brain. But the worst has got to be her parents - her mum and me will throw hands I swear. And what’s even more heartbreaking is how you can tell she clearly misses her brother but like wtf happened? I can’t wait for the reveal for that? I can only imagine it’s drugs related but knowing her I’m sure she took it up a notch. In a time where she probably needs her brother the most he’s not there and I’m sad about it.

Okay Choi fking San, like you warned us, but honestly makes my blood boil ESPECIALLY after he had the absolute gall to come BACK to her after his failed relationship. Again nothing excuses the reader to say what she said to Boyoung but nothing excuses San to say what he did either. And his friends are so mean and for what? But now with the reveal of why Yeonsang is the way he is I’m excited to see what he does or says to her now. I just saw someone ask if San will leak her secrets after she confronted Yeosang and omg??? That will be honestly the worst thing he could ever do 💔 also when she realised that San is just some guy ™️ was actually so funny to me

I love Wooyoung and I just adore how close they became, he deserves the words and a sweet boyfriend!

Joonie is also another sweetheart, I love that he wants to progress her art work and just be her friend!!

Also not the stray kidz cameos 👀🫰🏽

Okay so now Mingi!!!!!!!!! This guy had my heart flip flopping all over the place it was unreal! Get why your pissed at her when she was mean to your bestie but then???????? Treating her like she a dumbass then being all sweet and generally making her seem like a better person and her valentines gift 😭😭😭 all for him to just spew out all that shit? Almost in tears 😔 He honestly needs to get his head out of his ass.

This fic is a rollercoaster and I really can’t wait to see what happens next and things getting revealed etc!! You’re amazing and have great day!

omggggggggg thank you so much!!!!

well yn isnt the nicest person in general😭 she's pretty mean and self-centered but that's her character so yeah she was pretty shitty to boyoung. she'll talk about seonghwa more in the next chapter and he'll have a pretty interesting arc by the end lmfao

i thought of writing a chapter from san's pov which wouldn't be really a chapter but something in the form of e-mails i guess?? but i decided against it bc my life is kind of a mess rn and i just want this story to successfully reach its end. but later on when i'm better and if i'm in the mood for it, i might post that chapter as an additional part bc i already have a good chunk of it written out...we'll see. i think it would be interesting to write from his perspective bc i know a lot of people wonder about him and it was pretty fun to write the bonus part

there will be so much of wooyoung in the next chp and it will be mostly sad but he's my baby so..

also in the last couple of chapters i've completely neglected joong but thats bc he was mostly linked to yn by mingi and professor ahn so when everything went to shit between them i kinda lost how to include joong in the story BUT i think he will also appear in the next chapter.

and mingi omggggggggggg i cant wait for him to come back, he'll be so pathetic and there's nothing i love writing more than men being pathetic and grovelling so i'm excited for that!

anyways thank you for reading once again and for this lengthy message!! have a nice day

[caelumsnuff]

I wish I could get paid like $16,000 (after taxes) or more a month for mediocre plotting, weak characterization, and once-a-month subpar audio porn like this basic and uninspired creative. This is quite bitter of course lol because his work was a fixation of mine for awhile until I realized how not great a lot of it is if you think about anything for more than two seconds and I also watched a lot of the podcast and realized he’s not a particularly kind person either lol.

It does have a little bite to it, but i don’t disagree with you. once again, under the cut because i am so so opinionated and i love ranting.

God i wish i could get paid that much too like gahddamn.

I sometimes wish i could say that his work was just a hyper fixation of mine, but at some point along the way it became closer to that of a special interest. I have quite a lot of fun criticizing and analyzing his work now, critically engaging with it (both being critical of it and having my brain on while i listen so i realize how bad it is at times lol) has become something i enjoy thoroughly. Good brain exercise.

I never was a patreon and im not going to be so i don’t know about the quality of his audio porn but like. I have GWA for that LMAO.

I agree about the mediocre plotting, ive talked plenty on this blog about how his plots are so often mediocre. I think a lot of them fall through because of the fandom reaction to them, or even their potential reactions. Which is a shame because Im of the opinion that he writes darker stuff better, but he doesn’t even just fumble the ball like he fucking drops it sometimes. (Fucking Marcus. Kody.) (the weak ass shit with inversion having no major consequences. Kill some characters you pussy) I think one of the reasons his plots are mediocre is because of the lack of consequences, of actual gravity and stakes. We never kill anyone. No one sustains permanent injuries. We need some kind of fear lingering over us that is palpable and that feels probable, something that has us sitting on the edge of our seats. But he tiptoes around doing things like this, and it has happened so often that we have settled in our comfort that no one important is going to get hurt, and nothing is going to change radically. Honestly it’d be a great time to do so now that we’re comfortable, but i doubt he will. Kill a listener. Kill a major speaker. Give someone permanent injuries. Fuck up relationships beyond repair. Have some horrible secret be revealed, betrayal and hurt and all that jazz. I havent listened to the Avior finale yet, but from the opinions ive seen from people i respect i dont have my hope very high.

Yeah if you think about any plot related stuff theres a 90% chance the floor is going to collapse out from under you. Its actually genuinely impressive how badly this man can fuck up an allegory, gotta give him props for that.

I feel like his characterization fumbles as well a lot of the time, his characters start off with so much personality and quirks and then he starts really fleshing them out and then……. They get buffed and smoothed out. At least thats what it feels like with all the fluffy, no plot comfort audios with little plot in between for months at a time. I do genuinely enjoy a lot of the characters (or the earlier, more full renditions of them. Or just the idea i have of them in my head) but i still think lately they’ve gone down hill. And i hope thats a trend that ends.

I’ve said it in anons to other people so if thats why this sounds familiar, its because it was me lmao, but i don’t particularly care for Erik’s personality all that much. I tried watching his livestreams way back, but i didnt last long because his chat is fucking annoying ass all hell and he wasn’t entertaining enough to justify me staying (for reference, i watch streams a lot. Ive moderated streams, Ive seen very annoying chats. His is horrible). I watched the podcast for a while but i just got sick of his and odies personalities. Hes kinda boring and comes off as fake to me. I wont assert that i know what hes actually like, i dont know the guy and it literally could just be general dislike (we’re human, it happens). I just tend to separate the artist from the art with this one. Its whateves.

But aside from all that, i hope that you still find some kind of joy in staying here if you choose to do so. Maybe its the fanfics, or you critiquing and analyzing the frankly subpar content, or maybe you make art of your own or play with what these characters could be like little dolls in your head, as long as it brings you joy.

Thank you for the ask anon! 💕

[wanderingsoul]

25th

going into 25 feeling very emotional. i tend to write the most when i am feeling emotional and look back at them all and roll my eyes at the drama. so buckle up future me. 

being able to sit with my emotions is one of the things that i am most proud of myself for. being able to self-sooth, do all the good things to make myself feel better, and if i don’t, then i sit in the feelings and wear them around like an old sweater until they inevitably move along. because as cliche as it sounds, feeling these moments makes all the rest shine just a bit brighter. 

i realized this weekend that i am attached to the boy i’ve been seeing and its scaring the shit out of me. he’s so nice and simple and who’s only flaw is that he likes shitty TV. and not reality tv, we’re talking south park (shudder). well thats the only flaw i know about him because i have been actively avoiding all the getting to know you bits for the last 5 months. i heard someone say that a crush is just a lack of information and i am terrified that once i know too much or get too close i will have to face the reality that we’re not a good match and i just don’t want to right now. and that was all fine until he held me the way that he did last sunday and now i am scared. i don’t want to lose him. i told him i appreciated him and while that might be a small comment to the rest of the world, for me within the context of our very casual see-you-every-3-weeks relationship, it felt so incredibly vulnerable. which is silly and i know that. but not saying things like that have been the reason this has worked so far. i do feel bad sometimes when he tries to start conversations and i just don’t give as much back. i know its a protective shield and that i could probably share a thing or two without also sharing my childhood trauma. but trust is hard for me, and i am in the familiar rut where i feel the rug will get pulled from under me and i can’t stop them from leaving. except instead of spiraling into anxiety and texting them 4 times in a row; now i do all the adult things like go for a walk, and write, and realize that feelings are just feelings, and recognize the obsessive thinking patterns, even if i do nothing to stop them. and i feel that i will be able to regulate again, and try and find a place where i can honor and appreciate the attachment while also protecting myself and my feelings. i also want to be open to other doors the universe has for me. i pray that i am looking up and out when those opportunities come, and not wasting my time on things that are not meant for me. what is meant for me is already mine, and everything will work out exactly as it should. this is an opportunity for me to get to know myself better and to continue to grow. 

so maybe i am going into 25 more hopeful than i thought. 

[scott-mccall-the-hot-girl]

my ultimate guide to thiam fic !!

( as a new teen wolf stan )

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the classic post war, long ass (multi chapter) fic !!with great development that genuinely made me laugh out loud, they have the best friendship in this & i love it very much. ( like theo teaches liam to drive and i just *happy sobs* ) a fundamental in thiam fanfiction !! all stans have probably already read it but if you haven’t this is in fact a threat ,, go show this vv iconic story some love !!

Airplanes - Captainmintyfresh

Summary: After the Anuk-ite and the hunters are dealt with Liam needs a break. Cue Theo and a road trip that Liam should know better than to think will be peaceful.

Not Rated, No Archive Warnings Apply, Completed, 43/43 Chapters, Words: 236,875 (236k)

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okay okay so this one is also post 6B !! but ,, now we introduce fighting monroe & the hunters again ,, so we get the boys & a new mission !! so if you like an intresting plot 11/10 would recommend !! just to be clear this ISN’T complete ,, if that turns you off i understand but definitely give this one a read !! it litterally have theo doing crossword puzzles & fighting zombies

Vacancy Signs - LovelyLittleGrim

Summary: Theo and Liam are in Manhattan negotiating a pack allyship when the zombie apocalypse breaks out. Now, the two of them have to find their way back to Beacon Hills without getting eaten by zombies or killing one another.

Rated: Explicit, Graphic Description of Violence, Not Completed, 15/17 Chapters, Words: 89,605 (89k)

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Royalty AU !! I REPEAT ROYALTY AU !! a fantastic au where i stan their moms more than i stan them !! genuinely so good at the childhood rivals to lovers trope !! i’m genuinely obsessed with this one. has made me cry more than once ,, hurts in a good way <3 the ending is just *chefs kiss* also one of the tags is genuinely: # theo and liam make bad choices for over 130k straight !! if that doesn’t sound appealing i don’t know what does !!

Artificial Love - songbvrd

Summary: Prince Theo and Prince Liam are forced to spend every Summer together from age five onwards. They hate each other, and usually find ways to make each other miserable as much as possible in their six weeks together. But when they're reunited because of intended unions as adults, things change. They're both supposed to be married to noble women, but neither of them is as interested in anyone else as they are with their childhood rival.

Rated: Mature, No Archive Warnings Apply, Completed, Chapters: 32/32, Words: 172,935 (172k)

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so if you are in the mood for a crack fic that’s not explicitally a crack fic this is for you !! okay so i’m really hit or miss with AU’s ,, sometimes i feel like they don’t quite capture the characters right but this story have the BEST dramatic liam i have ever seen in my life !! basically they all live in the same apartment building & it’s fantastic !! i saw this one floating around a lot but the summary didn’t really unrest me until i have it a shot !! so go read it rn !! also nolan & brett are genuinely fantastic and make me wheeze ,, LIKE ACTUALLY VERBALLY LAUGHING !! all i’m gonna say is that my fav characters are scott & the beetles but that won’t make actual sense until you read it !!

The Neighbors Song - TheodoreR

Summary: “I always hear you singing on your balcony every morning, but suddenly you’ve stopped?”

Or the one where Theo annoys Liam every morning with his awful singing until he doesn’t anymore and Liam is even more annoyed. Liam hates every single thing about his mornings -the fact that they happen in the morning alone is enough. The thing Liam hates the most about his mornings though is the terrible voice of the guy who lives below him. He can’t sing for shit and Liam tried to politely let him understand that by throwing flour and water on his balcony, and also by shouting it to him, you can’t sing for shit!, and then by writing it into a note he proceeded to attach to his door, but this Raeken guy just keeps doing it, every single morning, like a fucking rooster. Liam did nothing to deserve this. He probably didn’t do anything to deserve better either to be fair, he doesn’t expect to open his window and be welcomed by some angelic voice singing him good morning, he’d just be happy with nothing. Silence. That’s something Liam can appreciate in mornings. Just some bark from his dog and the sound of his misery and that’s it. But no, god forbid the new guy lets him have that.

Rated: Explicit, Creator Chose Not to Use Archive Wanrings, Completed, 8/8 Chapters, Words: 42,814 (42k)

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me: i’m not a big fan of AU’s ,, proceeds to talk about ANOTHER au… OKAY BUT THIS ONE !! it’s not complete but the author has been updating regularly ,, vv slow burn !! but in a REALLY intresting way !! i lOVE LIAM IN THIS SO MUCH ,, he is such a diaster of a person and it’s wonderful !! they have a great dynamic & i’m sucker for general puppy pack content ( and erica reyes being a badass ) !! also theo plays lacrosse in this & i really like it ahhhhh ,, also liam is just being an artic monkeys stan the whole time & theo is like *que confused repressed gay noises*

Inglorious Roommates - honeyscape

Summary: A roommate is defined as “a person with whom one shares a room.”

Theo would say a roommate was more along the lines of, “The person who's the bane of his existence. The weirdo that sleeps for days. The spaz that exercises at 3am. The guy with a revolving door of annoying friends. An insufferable human being that Theo has no control over living in his room.”

Example: Theo hates his roommate Liam.

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okay okay i hate myself but i have another WIP for y’all !! this one is jUST FANTASTIC. i’m genuinely so upset it’s most likely not going to updated again *incoherent screaming ensues*. for this story ,, it’s very theo-centric bUT thats bc it ends right before liam becomes a concrete member of the story !! ANYWAY: basic plot = theo & acquiring not one but two children ,, so #dad theo but he is still crusty & homeless and i love him very much. it’s just so GOOD !! just read if you want to experience my fav theo coming out story & him etching high school musical

Look who's talking - Captainmintyfresh

Summary: Theo had been labeled many things in his life. Evil, failure, monster. He'd never thought Father would be one of those things but as he looked across the table to a six year old with blue smears of bubble gum icecream across her face trying to coax the first words out of her sister. Finger jabbing towards Theo's face as she repeated 'Daddy' again and again he couldn't bring himself to dispute the label.

(Theo accidentally adopts two young werewolves)

Not Rated, Creator Chose Not to Use Archive Warnings, Not Completed, Chapters: 16/?, Words: 48740 ( 48k )

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so here me out: post-canon ( poetry like angst ) summer get away !! just the boys doing cute little domestic things together whilst pining !! theo’s guilt in this is just so powerful & aGjffkgkkfkvkdlv !! i think it’s so interesting to see how they interact in this one, it’s just very heart warming !! and it features one of my favorite niche teen wolf tropes of theo being great with like seven year old girls- it’s just so good ,, very much a wonderful little one shot that just makes your heart happy.

(next time i see you you'll show me) a hundred different ways to say the same things - cherrysprite

Summary: “...You deserve good things,” Liam says eventually. He makes sure not to look at Theo even though he can feel his eyes turn on him. Somehow he can already tell that Theo doesn’t believe him.

Liam instantly makes that the goal of this summer - making Theo believe him.

Rating: Teen and Up, No Archive Warnings Apply, Chapters: 1/1, Words: 28875 ( 28k )

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okay so this next section of fic recs is a bit different !!

two of my favorite authors !! and a compilation of fics i’ve read by them both !!

for context: these two have written some genuinely gorgeous fics, like pure poetry, they explore the real gritty & scary side of our boys relationship in such a wonderful way. they’ve both used some of my favorite tropes & i love them very much !!

whenever i need something soothing but so genuinely intresting & enticing these are my go to !! ( also they both write a lot of good nolan angst & some vv good fics with hayden )

go check out:

eneiryu

as well as fallingforboys

here are some of my favorite fics by them ~

darling i want you here in my arms (kiss the pain away, i know you can) - fallingforboys

even before you touched me, i belonged to you (all you had to do was look at me) - fallingforboys

memories linger like tattoo scars (but your touch on my skin is just as permanent) - fallingforboys

skin, bones, a stolen heart, and an ugly creature lurking underneath -fallingforboys

i don't know how to breathe in the place i called home - fallingforboys

whisper your gossamer truths into the shadow, maybe you'll find the answers you're searching for - fallingforboys

between the mountains and the valley we built a monument to our regret - eneiryu

cracked the hinges of the cage and waited for you - eneiryu

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okay and finally: since i am a self centered whore

my own fic: an rendition of the # elevator scene

it’s basically my version of post canon if we did get the kiss in the elevator. we got a classic liam pov in which he is has 12/10 for extreme bi diaster energy even whilst being shot at !! so go him ig…

Fuck Off, Fuck This & Fuck It! - nefelibata_peach

Summary: Liam thought to himself heart rate climbing, they were bound to be dead by morning. So he thought with everything but his brain and he kissed him.

Where Liam Dunbar is very confused, slightly traumatized, and just a bit scared but hey, aren't they all! Bad decisions ensue as two boys fight in a war they never did sign up for.

Rating: Teen and Up, Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Chapters: 1/1, Words: 3558 ( 3k )

[krogans-give-the-best-cuddles]

Lot of interesting discussions being had in the sims community today about whether people should be able to sell their work or not...

As far as people blaming paywalls (including early access) for ruining the community and changing it from what it was, i don't think that's accurate. Tbh the 2017 era of "no paywalls, simply click thru shady adfly links to get mods" was worse than people using patreon. And also. Lets be real here.

The game is old. They're putting out new content for it, but its fucking old. I was around for skyrim mods from the beginning, and it is probably the most modded game ever. They're out here releasing new content 10 yrs after launch (much like the sims), but is the mod community what it used to be there? In breadth of content absolutely not. The quality of content has only risen, but the amount?? On special edition I cannot find half of the clothes I used to use in legendary. But those new animation variance mods are sick as hell. Its the tradeoff of just... Time.

Creators get bored of the game eventually. This is absolutely happening to the sims. Not to mention that it costs near $1000 to buy the whole game in its entirety now. Thats gonna drive away creators.

As far as the culture of mod creation (not just the kind/amounts of mods made) I agree that the tone used to be v different like back in 2016. But I think there are multiple factors for that, and singling out the use of patreon is not doing us good in the long run, if we wanna focus on making the community better again. First of all, people were treating creators like real shit back then.

Like I know we all wanna think about like how cool it was to interact regularly with our fave creators, but like... That parasociality can and does take a toll on people. I've seen people complain that lots of creators nowadays don't even build a rapport w the community before trying to make money off mods. I can understand that argument, but like. Sometimes that rapport wasn't a rapport. Sometimes it was people regularly harassing and assuming a close relationship w a virtual stranger bc they saw their posts about video game stuff.

To go into this further, i remember simtober 2019 (i think that was the specific year) fucking sucked for people. MULTIPLE creators i followed had to explain that the wait for cc wasn't against the rules, it was simply a little game. And then they got death threats from people who said they shouldn't have to wait a week for cc if they didn't want to play said game. Cowconuts also had that happen when they did a whole "solve a riddle get a cc" event. Like, the old days were not often nice for the creators on the other end of managing the social media prescence here.

If someone said "hm id rather not go talk to everyone and constantly be exposed to that kind of bullshit, im just gonna run my patreon" tbh I think that's kind of reasonable.

Secondly, the world fucking sucks right now. A lot of these people are using patreon money to have gas to go to work. A lot of these people are feeding their dogs this way. Does it suck that this once free community is being coopted into a side hustle? Yes, but lets be real. Its not being coopted by these individuals. Its being coopted by capitalism. If someone lives in a world where baby formula costs money, and drinking water costs money, and having shelter costs money, and being in a cool place costs money (more important as climate change worsens), they're going to find that money however the hell they can. If that means they have a hobby they can monetize, they will do it. This isn't a moral failing, in this situation its simply survival. What's a moral failing is what's allowing societies to exist in such a way to begin with.

I saw some arguments against this by saying that people who have these skills can take to the job market that hires for them, but i feel like that shows little understanding of that very market. Game design, including modelling, does not pay much better when paid by a giant corp than it does by getting patrons. It also is a notoriously competitive field, and a notoriously discriminatory one. If you look it up you will see that the numbers of women and all people of color at most game companies are not at all similar to the demographics in the areas those companies are run from. More directly, these companies are racist and sexist and will not hire enough of the people who might make these games. This is not even touching on the regular reports of wide spread rape and harassment cultures at these companies that drive the few people who make it in, out. And also not getting into the insane crunch times these companies go into which often ruin lives.

Of course if you have the skills to mod in any way it would seem more appealing to be your own boss and make money off a loyal fanbase of your own instead of be subjected to current industry standards.

Finally, when EA itself is one of these companies who is doing all of the above to its devs, and also selling what is often complete garbage for up to $1000... It frankly seems absurd to complain about Dude Down The Block who makes you wait two extra weeks for free shit or you can pay him $3 now. It seems like a classic case of punching where you can reach, instead of focusing on the guy who's really fucking you over.

This isn't to say there's nothing wrong with the current system we have, however. There are many things. Patreon itself is often gouging these creators, making them far less "their own boss" than they originally might have thought. These people often have access to tons of people's private information, including full names and emails, with almost no oversight. Lots of creators HAVE used this to doxx people, which is absolutely disgusting. Also, the general idea of turning every hobby into a side hustle is deeply entrenched in these spaces, which is super harmful to people's mental health tbh. Not to mention that having a patreon may spare you the creator a bit of parasociality directed at you, but it gives you just enough to be able to wield your followers against others (which is not a patreon only problem either).

All these problems line up so that like a patreon owner can absolutely wield their power in ways that can harm people. But they aren't like... A cop or a social worker or a nurse or even really a celebrity. So they have about as much power to do that as your avg tumblr user making no money who happens to have followers.

To be clear here, I'm not saying there's no real harm coming from monetizing mods. I'm simply saying that the monetization of mods in general is only a symptom of the real disease here. Until more is done to make life liveable without money, or more is done to really address parasociality in our society, or if you wanna start even smaller until more is done to address the harm EA as a singular company does and will continue to do, there will always be a new way to paywall. We will always be fighting over these scraps, unless we do something to make them more than scraps.

You don't cure the flu by taking ibuprofen. You just get rid of the bodyaches for a while. They come back as long as the virus stays there. And banning people from early accessing their content won't make simblr better, bc people will come up w a new way to make money, as long as they have a need to do so to survive.

[cringesideblog]

here’s my dnf playlist and a complete song by song track-list and why I put them on it.

heatwaves- on here for very obvious reasons. i don’t think I need to explain. but here are some lyrics anyway. “Sometimes all I think about is you, late nights in the middle of June.”

Jenny- again this is kinda obvious. “I wanna ruin our friendship, we should be lovers instead, I don’t know how to say this, cuz you’re really my dearest friend.”

TALK ME DOWN- this one just has the best friends pining for eachother vibe. “I wanna sleep next to you, and that’s all I wanna do right now.”

Dark paradise- kinda has dream smp vibes. but also you could argue heatwaves vibes. “Everytime I close my eyes, it’s like a dark paradise.” “There’s no relief, I see you in my sleep.” “There’s no release, I feel you in my dreams.”

Sweater weather- yeah you know why. you absolutely know why. “All I am is a man, I want the world in my hands. I hate the beach but I stand, in California with my toes in the sand.”

Drop the Guillotine- idk man just vibey. give it a listen you’ll get it. it’ll click. “You sure know how to drop that guillotine on me, though you would never wanna see me bleed.”

Can I call you tonight?- thats on their only for of communication being through the phone huh. (major heatwaves vibe) “powers out and I can’t turn the fan on, so can I call you tonight? trying make up my mind, just how I feel.”-“I hear your voice on the phone, now I’m no longer alone.”

Lemon boy- oh my god this song. geogre do be seeing dream as his lemon boy. “I helped him plant his seeds and we’d mow the lawn in bad weather.”

Yellow- DREAM IS LITERALLY GEORGES YELLOW SHUT UP RIGHT NOW. “Look at the stars, look how they shine for you.” “For you I’d bleed myself dry.”

Like you do- first of all I love this song, second, this has dream being a little too attached vibes. The whole song is just them. “Lost in the blue, they don’t love me like you do, those chills that I knew they were nothing without you, and everyone else they don’t matter now. You’re the one I can’t lose, no one loves me like you do.” “Since I met you, all the gloomy days just seem to shine a little more brightly.”

I saw you in a dream- mega heatwaves vibe. “When I’m awake I can’t switch off,” “I saw you in a dream, you came to me. You were the sweetest apparition, such a pretty vision.”

Maybe you’re the reason- did someone say pining best friend who doesn’t know that they’re in love ? this song. this song right here. “I keep looking for something, even though I know that it’s not there. Maybe you’re the reason. And anytime I try to figure it out, you’re the only thing I can think about.”

The king- DREAM SMP VIBE. “You like me, well obviously, so why you tryna leave when you know that I’m the king?” “Other lovers give you no luck, cuz I’m the only one who’s made you fall in love.” “Playing with your heart cuz you gave me the throne.”

Sweet- an adorable song truly that actually fits them so well. “Watching the, video that you sent me- you know that I’m obsessed with your body, but it’s the way you smile that does it for me.” “It’s so sweet, knowing that you love me.”

Apocalypse- um okay here me out, apocalypse au?? yeah i know it’s cute as shit you’re welcome. “Your lips my lips, apocalypse.” “When you’re all alone, I will reach for you, when you’re feeling low, I will be there too.”

Fear of the Water- don’t come for me this ones kinda sad, beautiful song though. “If this was meant for me why does it hurt so much, and if you’re not made for me why did we fall in love?”

Dreaming of you- two words, heat. waves. but also yeah good song for them in general. “Want you all the time, and now I’m dreaming, dreaming, dreaming, dreaming of you.”

Wires- uhhhhh dream smp vibe, dream villain arc n all . “If he said help me kill the president, id say he needs medicine.” “He said that I should take it in, listen to every word he’s speaking.”

Midnight love- it’s girl in love so, you already know how it issss. “I know I don’t want to, be the one that you run to, when you’ve got nowhere else to go, when you need some love.” “I always give in to give you it all.” “I can’t be your midnight love, when your silver is my gold.”

The beach- SUCH A HEATWAVES SONG JUST LISTEN. “I feel it burning me, I feel it burning you.” “I think I can see the beach, I know what’s underneath. I need you here with me,”

Cherry flavored- the neighborhood just.. they have a dnf vibe. “Cherry flavored conversations with you got me hanging on. Down to earth from all the waiting. Take me somewhere beyond.”

Pretty boy- geogre is a pretty boy. point blank period. “Even if my heart stops beating, you’re the only thing I need with me.” “Pretty boy, you did this with me boy.” “As long as I got you, I’m gonna be alright.”

Bad idea- girl in reddd... but like imagine them casually hooking up and not knowing their in love tho. also I feel like they would definitely think that their relationship is a “bad idea” bc they’re stupid. “It was a bad idea, to think I could stop, was such a bad idea, I can’t get enough.” “Darling your so pretty it hurts.”

Line without a hook- ICONIC!! dream definitely does not think that he deserves george. “You can hold my hand if no ones home.” “All my emotions feel like explosions when you are around” “Oh baby I am a wreck without you.” “She’s a, she’s a lady, and I am just a boy. She’s a, she’s a lady, and I am just a line without a hook.”

Say you hate me- mega dream smp vibes as of recently. with the whole removing geogre as king. “I guess that your friends where right, from the start when they thought that I was a bad guy.” “Can you just say that you hate me? Or that you will never love me?” “Never meant to make you leave, never meant to make you cry.”

Cherry bomb- reminds me of how dream cheated on fundy with geogre. “I’m too close to crushing, and I’m too close for comfort I’m rushing.” “I ask how shes so mellow, she tells me her shades are in yellow.”

This side of paradise- I mean, like, kinda heatwaves vibes, but also just them. “Ask me why my hearts inside my throat. I’ve never been in love I’ve been alone.” “If you’re lonley come be lonley with me.”

Linger- geogre literally has that boy wrapped around his finger and I can’t not see it in this song. But when you look into it HELLA dream smp vibes, lyrics can be switched for either perspective here. “You know I’m such a fool for you, you got me wrapped around your finger.” “I thought the world of you, I thought nothing could go wrong, but I was wrong,”

august- i don’t know what is but this song is for them. it just is. “To live for the hope of it all. Cancel plans just in case you'd call” “So much for summer love, and saying “Us” Cause you weren't mine to lose”

I was an island- i just love the idea of them being hardasses and not thinking they need anyone until the other comes into their life and rocks their world. kinda dream smp vibes “I was a fighter, and I was so brave, but I lowered my sword when you held me and swore you’d stay.” “I was a wolf, dear, apart from the pac But you answered my cries in the dead of the night and told me that you had my back,”

Golden- k this one feeds into the “you’re literally the sun in my sky I’m not worthy” feel “I know you were way too bright for me I'm hopeless, broken” “I know that you're scared Because hearts get broken” “I can feel you take control Of who I am and all I've ever known Loving you's the antidote”

Strong- ummm okay but the “we’re better together” dynamic is them “I’m sorry if I say I need ya, but I don’t care I’m not scared of love.” “when I’m not with you I’m weaker is that so wrong? Is it so wrong, that you make me strong.”

Fly out west- the whole, I need to see you, you’re all I think about, stuff gets me. also heatwaves vibe. “Well tell me do you know? You’re all I dream about. Take it from me I’m too dumb to recognize your doubt.”

Cruel summer- them and summer, you dig? “I don’t wanna keep secrets just to keep you.” “I love you and that the worst thing you ever heard?”

Nothings gonna hurt you baby- I put this one on here because of how protective dream is over geogre “Nothing’s gonna hurt you baby, as long as your with me you’ll be just fine. Nothings gonna hurt you baby, nothings gonna take you from my side.”

Cardigan- young love, the kind of lover that makes you feel like you are the most important thing in the world to them “when you are young they assume you know nothing, but I knew you-“ “and when I felt like I was an old cardigan under someone’s bed, you put me on and said I was your favorite.”

Cry baby- them being in that weird stage where they recognize that it might be more than just senseless flirting and they might have feelings but also being paranoid that they’re the only one with feelings uh- “I can taste it my hearts breaking, please don’t say it. That you know, when you know.” “I know I’ll fall in love with you baby, but that’s not what I wanna do baby.”

Speak now- literally the fundy dream wedding. i rest my case. “I hear the preacher say speak no or forever hold your peace.” “Dont say yes runaway now.”

I love you so- this song is cute on the surface but kinda sad once you look into it. it’s kinda about a codependent love that isn’t going well. “I gotta get away and let you go I gotta get over, but I love you so.” “You were cool and I’m a fool so please let me go.”

In conclusion I’d really appreciate if you could check it out :) <3

[mirinda03]

@leaflinerambles asked me for an essay so i complied

Here’s why c!tommy deserves better

Tommy Danger Kraken Careful Innit deserves better.

(All of this is about the characters btw. Sometimes i don't put c! Because honestly its a lot of putting that so just know that unless it says cc! I mean character)

Now, I know that can be a bit of a controversial take for.. some reason??? People may say that actually, he deserves to face the consequences of his actions and deserves to be punished.

. What the fuck.

That's a sixteen year old. That a teenager. He doesn't deserve to be 1. Abused 2. Traumatized 3. Manipulated 4. Used and 5. Taught a ‘lesson’ that i'm sure he’s been taught far fat too many times.

Tommy is a complex character. As we all know, he's regarded as the ‘protagonist’ of the dream smp or the ‘main character’. Now, of course, being the main character is a very subjective term and that is a whole other fucking essay that im not gonna get into right now—

BUT.

I do think in a way Tommy has been involved in a lot of the more.. main plots. From season one to season three.

And of course, with being the ‘main character’ (again, a purely subjective term because it depends on the point of view you watch) come a lot of things and a lot of trouble. Mainly, from our main ‘villain’ of the series.

C!Dream, the fucking bitch.

As we all know, c!Dream has had a weird obsession with c!Tommy since.. probably the beginning?

He liked to antagonize Tommy, but that wasn't exactly special. The man liked to antagonize everyone! He seemed to just want the most chaotic option, which of course ended with him antagonizing others often for his own entertainment.

I think, in a way, Dream always saw the smp as a game. His own little puppet show, where he could move the strings. He wanted complete control

But Tommy was more stubborn than the others. Tommy actively went against Dream from the start, like we see in the disc war. Or L’manberg, or during manberg, or new lmanb—

You get the idea.

Tommy never gave in, and Dream’s obsession grew.

So.. exile happened.

And like, i'm not sure what exactly dream was planning but i'm assuming he wanted to like.. ‘break’ tommy?? Make him more ‘compliant’ to his twisted game?

C!Tommy was, to put it simply, abused. No sugar coating, that was straight up abuse and gaslighting and manipulation. The burning his armor? Making sure no one got an invite? Keeping Tommy at low health? EVERYTHING??

That was all clear manipulation. Tommy.. went through a LOT in exile. It still affects him as we know. ‘Plain biomes, small holes, logstedshire’ among other things have been added to his list of stuff that sets him off.

(And also the waking up drowning?????)

And i know, Dream almost had tommy in his grasp. He almost broke him.

But Tommy resisted. Tommy pulled back at the last second, in that dirt tower. He was strong enough to realize what dream was doing was wrong an he ran from a toxic environment and situation and honestly? Good👏 for 👏 him 👏.

But the trauma stayed, in many ways. And even during the raccoonit arc, tommy didn't really.. get a chance to heal?

During the techno and tommy arc, tommy seemed to direct his hurt into lashing out at others. He got angry, he lashed out, and he hurt people. Even if im a tommy apologist, i can acknowledge that during his time of poor mental health he hurt other people and he had to apologize (and he did!! But im getting to that)

Now. I am.. very conflicted when it comes to techno and tommy’s relationship. I do believe that, somewhere deep inside, they both cared about each other. However, bias and fanon influence can get in the way so i'm not touching on that.

The one thing i'm saying? It wasn't exactly a healthy dynamic. And again, not saying anything because bias could get in the way, but Tommy realizing the error of his ways and realizing he HURT PEOPLE is such a huge milestone??

He took responsibility by joining tubbo again. He said how his trauma did not excuse shit and he acknowledged it and he tried to CHANGE.

Even when faced with people who exiled him, who shunned him or who weren't there to visit during exile, he decided to be better and he once again took the role of the troop rallier even when he KNEW how impossible the task would be. He SAW Techno’s wither skull vault. He knew it was a losing battle.

But he stayed strong. And he fought for L’Manberg, for the last reminder he had of Wilbur (and oh, wilbur and tommy’s relationship in canon is a whole other can of worms god—)

Just for it to get destroyed.

By his abuser, and two people he had trusted. People he RELIED on.

Blown, to the ground.

And then dream.

Dream saying their story isn't over. Their story would NEVER be over.

. Bone chilling. Genuinely so.

And still. He faced Dream. He faced his abuser, the person who in his own words ‘ruined him’ and he refused to back down.

He refused to let Tubbo die. He refused to lose.

And in the end, Dream was sent to jail. Retribution was sent!

.. right?

Wrong.

Because even after that, Tommy continues to be haunted by dream or by the literal CULTISTS trying to kill him.

And to top it all off, he gets fucking trapped in prison with his abuser surrounded by a bunch of triggers in a small cell. And have we mentioned how he's canonically claustrophobic?

Yeah.. that was bad.

One week. Trapped with his abuser.

And still, he stayed strong. Still, he refused to give in and stayed himself,

And what did he get for that?

Death.

Beaten to death by his abuser of all things.

And he was trapped in the void for two months. Two. Months.

But in the human world? It had only been days.

And he was so so shaken by it. He couldn't even touch other people, he couldn't take any damage, he was treated as a ghost by people, he was called a ‘science experiment’ and the one thing he wanted? Normality? It was taken away from his forever.

Again, by his abuser.

Hes a traumatized child soldier whos done plenty of wrong in his life, but he's also a kid who needs to heal and learn to have healthy relationships because one way or the other every healthy mentor figure in his life turned against him or got corrupted and now he feels alone and he DIED and he needs fucking therapy come on.

And we KNOW the dream isn't done. Far from it. We know dream will never, ever be done. He's too obsessed with the game, with his favorite toy to let the game end. To let the people rest

C!tommy is so broken and jaded and traumatized. But still, he chooses compassion. Despite the trauma, he refused to hurt his best friend. Despite it all, he refused to blow up him home. He stays true to himself and he stays strong and even when the world tries to mold him he doesn't break.

And believe me, the world tries to break him and mold him so many times. He’s been manipulated or used before by others, but he still keeps his attachments and he still keeps himself and i think thats fucking admirable.

So yeah. I wholeheartedly believe tommy deserves better as do the other members of bench trio because honestly they're also children and they all deserve to heal come ON.

But yeah thats the essay

[falloutjay]

Wait we can request more than once? Okay then... I wish for Craig x Insecure! Reader (and also kind of x Tweek). So basically we get into a relationship with Craig, at first our personalitiy from very cheery and everything is peachy keen at first.

But then Craig starts ignoring us or shrugging us off, thats when we start being insecure and start thinking dark things like: what did I do wrong? Is there someone else? Am I that annoying?.

So trying to be progressive with her life, we take a job at Tweek coffee, (also sidenote everyone noticed our change in behavior and were worried, but didn't know how to ask how). So Tweek becomes the brave soul to ask us what's wrong. And we spill our problems out to him, Tweek doesn't know what to do but gives us a shoulder to cry on , few weeks roll by, and we find we have alot in common with him, so we start hanging out with him, almost completely forgetting about Craig. (It's up to you if you want Tweek to gain feelings for us)

By this time, Craig has started to notice and gets in the same position as we were (although more jealous than insecure), it isn't until a girl makes a comment about how she'd leave Craig too if he treated her like that, does Craig connect the dots and apologizes, they compromise their relationship and try to be a better couple and be peachy again (or you could do another ending where Tweek goes 'Treat you better' and fights for us).

I'm so so so sorry that I took so long! I just really wanted to take my time on this and really get into it, since I love the request! <3

I'm also sorry that Tweeks route is shorter but hey, at least we can choose which of the two deserves our love. :)

Thank you for being so patient and requesting! <3

_____________________________________

Craig Tucker x Insecure!Reader X Tweek Tweak

The sun on your skin felt wonderful. There is nothing better to do, than to hang out outside on a sunny, warm, and beautiful day in South Park.

To your luck your relatively new boyfriend Craig asked if you wanted to hang out with his friends and him when they would go to Starks Pond. Naturally, you said yes, getting finally a chance to also hang out with his friends.

While the guys were busy playing catch with a ball, you and Bebe, Clyde's on/off Girlfriend sat on the picnic blanket that she bought along.

It was also the first time you hung out with her and honestly, you were happy to basically get to know all these different people.

Bebe was a ray of absolute sunshine, and her boyfriend was the funniest dork you had ever seen.

Token was a more serious guy but oh so nice to you as well. Tweek and Jimmy were nice too and the quieter ones of the bunch.

"So... You and Craig huh?" Bebe asked you and you finally preyed your eyes from the black-haired boy away.

"Yeah. I was surprised when he asked me out." You laughed and Bebe did so too.

"How come?"

"I don't know. Kinda thought maybe I was out of his league. I'm not the most popular person around school and most people don't know me. Unlike you guys. You and Stans Friends are basically famous."

"That's only because of all the weird shit that sometimes happens around here." You nodded.

“So, how is he?” Bebe continued her questioning and you thought about it for a second before answering.

“Honestly, he’s a real sweetheart. Totally not like you would imagine him to be when you don’t know him too well.”

“That sounds so cute.” Bebe said dreamingly.

Your conversation was disrupted by a ball flying towards you. It landed just a few feet away from the blanket you and Bebe were seated on and Craig came sprinting.

He smiled when he picked up the ball and came closer to you.

“Sorry for that. I think Token was distracted by your beauty.” Bebe giggled in the background and you had the widest smile possible on your face.

“No problem. But I think you need to tell Token I’m taken then. By the prettiest boy around the school.” Now Bebe rolled her eyes.

“Ahh, to be in love like that again.” Now Craig couldn’t contain his laughter. He looked over to where Clyde was standing and obviously waiting for him to bring their ball back.

“Go back. They are waiting for you.” You said, pointing over to the boys. Craig nodded, but quickly pressed a kiss onto your lips, before sprinting right back to his friends.

 It was a beautiful day that was always on your mind. Now more than ever. Recently Craig had been rather cold to you and you really had no idea why.

He simply became less and less affectionate, when you would do something together, he barely talked, and he generally seemed changed.

He was angrier, cold, and seemed distant. It hurt you a lot, but talking to him about it was impossible, since he would just not admit that something changed.

It started getting to you. It poisoned your heart and mind that he was behaving in such a way towards you.

Maybe…Maybe he was seeing someone else... But no. Craig wouldn’t do that…Would he? Maybe he just realized you're annoying but didn’t want to break up.

“H-Hey Y/N!” Jimmy called out to you.

You waited for him to walk up to you since you were getting books for the weekend out of your locker. When he was finally next to you, he seemed giddy.

“I was wo-wondering if yo-you’d like to help TimTim and m-m-me with a project?” He asked, a pleasant smile on his face while he waited for your answer.

That smile turned into a frown when you shook your head.

“Sorry, I think I will just stay at home this weekend. I'm not feeling too well…” You lied, hoping Jimmy would not see through your fake smile.

Of course, he saw right through it, but he didn’t know what to do. None of your friends did. They all noticed how different you had become, how you smiled less and less and seemed more in thought.

They weren’t sure what to actually do, or how to help, so they just hope that you would maybe come to them and talk about it.

“Oh o-okay. No problem.” Jimmy said, and you could clearly hear that he was hurt, but he already continued walking.

You starred after him, wishing you weren’t so complicated. You felt like you kept only hurting everyone around you. With a deep sigh, you closed your locker and shouldered your backpack.

“Maybe…Maybe I need to change something…” you mumbled while walking towards the school’s entrance.

Craig had football training anyway, so it’s not like anyone was waiting for you, or that you had any desire to talk to anyone.

Someone hesitantly, you pulled out your phone and went onto Craig's contact.

“Hey, you got time this weekend? <3”

The least you could keep doing is trying you told yourself, even if you felt more and more like an idiot. A few minutes later you got an answer from him.

“Sorry, no time. Maybe next weekend.”

You wondered how many times he had said that by now. It felt like a million times.

Were you really that horrible that he couldn’t stand you anymore?

That it was too much to give you a merciful breakup instead of keep dragging this to the inevitable? And yet you also refused to break up with him.

There still was this small hope that maybe he would come around, see he was being a dick, and change his ways.

You loved him a lot.

And whenever you thought about breaking up, your heart ached. It was a horrible situation for you. And you wished you could escape it.

 “Okay, Y/N. I think that’s all you need to know. If you have any more questions, you can ask our son, Tweek when he will arrive. He got a doctor’s appointment today, otherwise, he will be here before you. He’s weird but nice.”

“Eh…Mister Tweak, I know him, we got to the same school and sometimes meet up.” You said, raising an eyebrow.

Mister Tweak, your new employer, simply smiled. You sometimes weren’t sure if he actually listened.

He was an odd fella, but you were just happy to have a little side job, that gave you okay money and had good hours.

You were looking around the shop in your new Tweeks Bros. apron when the door flung open. Tweek stepped into the shop, rambling about god knows what, and took his backpack off.

He stopped dead in his tracks when he laid eyes on you.

“Y-y-you applied here?” He questioned, seeming genuinely surprised.

You and Tweek didn’t hang out that much. He and Jimmy were little busy bees and therefore weren’t at every hangout, unlike Token, Clyde, and Craig.

“Yeah, I thought I…Might need some change or something like that.”

Richard Tweak clapped his hands and proclaimed: “Good, you two seem to get along. Then I will go home. Have a great first day, Y/N!” Tweek and you watched his father leave.

“So…What happened to the well-known fact that your father is a cheapskate and hires no one to save money?” You asked.

“My mother u-urged him to hire someone so that he can be home more. No idea how she convinced him.” Tweek smiled awkwardly, as so did you.

You never noticed before how little you had talked to the twitchy blonde.

Tweek walked behind the counter where you were and also took his apron.

“My dad already explained the basics?” He questioned to which you nodded. “Good, because honestly, I-I suck at explaining things.”

You loved Tweeks smile, and it involuntarily made you smile too.

“Well, I hope this job will get my mind off things.” You mentioned absentmindedly and the blonde cocked his head to the side.

He would love to ask what going on, but he felt awkward. Like it wasn’t his place to ask. And yet in a short-lived moment of bravery, he asked: “Yo-You’re... alright?” His anxiety shortly piped up, making him scared that maybe you didn't appreciate being asked if you're okay and that he already messed up with you.

You let out a deep sigh, the fake smile appearing once more.

“Yeah, don’t worry about it.”

“I feel like you’re lying about it.” Tweek wanted to slap his hands over his mouth, felt incredibly surprised that it just came out of his mouth and he immediately mumbled a quick sorry.

“It is fine. It’s just… I don’t know if I can tell you. You’re friends with Craig and shit.”

“D-don’t worry about that, honestly. I wouldn’t dare to tell anyone anything that yo-you tell me in private.” Tweek said, stepping closer to you. He pressed his index finger onto his lips, smiling at you.

“Well…Since you're the first guy to ever ask me...I just feel like Craig doesn’t like me anymore. Just…Whenever I ask him if we want to hang out, he tells me off, he doesn’t kiss me or anything, I just… Maybe he has someone else on his mind already.”

Tweek felt overwhelmed by your sudden confession, not having thought you would actually tell him.

“If you want to hear my honest opinion as someone who is close friends with him, there is no one. Craig is not that kind of guy. Maybe there’s a lot going on with him right now and he just can’t tell you. M-maybe give him some space and he'll come around. I know we not really all that close or anything, but if you ever need anyone to talk to, I-I’m here.”

You smiled, feeling actually better, even if you never would have thought talking about it would help.

“Maybe you’re right. And I now have a job, so some time apart might be the right thing.” You shrugged.

You heard the bell above the entrance door ring, signaling a customer arrived.

“Well, let’s see how you do on your first day.” Tweek smiled and gave you a little notepad to go and take the customer’s order.

 Weeks had flown by and you had a wonderful time at Tweeks Bros.

Tweek’s parents were incredibly sweet to you, sometimes making you coffee or giving you a cake or cookie free of charge.

Tweek himself had become a really good friend to you. Outside of work, you now hung out at school, sitting together at lunch, or sometimes even hung out on the weekend.

When Craig and you would meet up on rare occasions you texted with him. Tweek was a wonderful person to talk to.

There even was an incident when Craig asked you to hang out and you declined, stating that you had already promised to Tweek that you two would bake cupcakes that day.

“Wait, so you love Fav/Flavor cupcakes too?” Tweek asked feeling giddy, as you two were out shopping.

“Yes. I never found someone who loves them as much as I do!” You happily proclaimed, feeling amazed at how much you and the blonde had in common.

While nearing the checkout area, Craig spotted you two.

He was out shopping with his family. Somewhat angry, he stomped over.

“So you’re busy today, Y/N?” He said sarcastically and let his eyes wander over you two.

“Yeah, like I said. Me and Tweek are baking today.” He nodded, looking obviously not pleased.

Tweek shifted around uncomfortably, hoping this ordeal would end.

“Well, we gotta get going, those cupcakes aren’t making themselves. I'll bring you one on Monday if you’d like.” You smiled.

Craig only stared coldly at Tweek, who wished the earth would just swallow him whole.

“Okay. Have fun then.” Craig mumbled and walked away fuming.

“C-c-come on, Y/N, let’s get going.” Tweek said, tugging you along to the checkout.

“Bullshit. I’m sure Tweek is hitting on them!” Craig fumed, walking up and down in Tokens living room.

Token, Clyde, and Bebe were all there to see Craig's emotional outburst.

Bebe was leaning on Clyde, reading a magazine while Token and Clyde tried their very best to keep their fuming friend calm.

“Tweek? Tweek Tweak? The shyest, weirdest kid in our goddamn school? Are you on fucking drugs?” Token exclaimed, not believing the bullshit Craig kept on spewing.

“Token is right, Tweek is not that kind of guy. He’s our friend and he’s a pure soul. You’re seeing danger where there is none.” Clyde said and looked at Craig with a worrying expression.

Craig huffed and let himself fall onto the opposing couch to where the others were seated.

Bebe kept chewing her bubblegum.

“What ya mean seeing danger where there is none? There is?” Bebe mentioned now sarcastically and kept reading her magazine, obviously not understanding any of the guys here.

Craig made a questioning sound, hoping Bebe would elaborate. She didn’t seem interested in answering until Clyde asked her politely.

“Oh my god.” She exclaimed annoyed and sat up, closing her magazine.

“Craig, do you honestly think you have been a good boyfriend? Because, frankly, you haven’t been great at all. You always ditched Y/N, kept them at distance, you didn’t give two flying fucks about the relationship and now you’re mad they turned to someone how obviously cares more about them? I would have broken up a long time ago. Consider yourself lucky that they didn’t do so already when Tweek seems like a much better option than you are right now.”

Craig's heart stung, and Clyde looked at his girlfriend in shock.

“Honey, you can’t just say that!” Clyde whispered, but Craig stopped him.

“No, I guess she’s right. I was a dick I think. I need to apologize.” Bebe nodded and so did Token. The black boy looked over to the blonde woman, mouthing a “Thank you” to her, to which she smiled.

 Craig felt like an idiot. A big one. He was now standing here, flowers in his hand, looking through the glass windows of Tweek Bros..

He saw his girlfriend laughing together with his blonde friend and his heart hurt when he saw it.

He loved Y/N. He didn’t want to lose them.

So, with a little confidence, he stepped into the coffee shop and Tweek was the first to spot him, he smiled at him waving.

When he spotted the flowers in Craig's arm and his nervous expression, Tweek could easily guess why he was here. So, he excused himself from Y/N and went to that back of the shop.

Confused, you turned around and seeing your black-haired boyfriend standing there, looking all awkward made you smile involuntarily.

“H-Here. These are for you.” Craig mumbled, passing you the beautiful bouquet of different flowers over the counter. He extended his hand, asking for your, which you gladly gave him.

“Hey, I know I have been a dick recently and I wanted to apologize. I really didn’t see that I had hurt you and there was a lot going on for me, which is why I wanted to stay alone for a while. I now know that that’s stupid. So, I am asking, can you please forgive me?”

You felt dumbfounded. This was everything you wished for, ever since Craig started being so cold and here, he was, flowers and apology were already given and now it was up to you to decide if you two still had a future ahead of you.

You kept opening and closing your mouth, not really knowing what to say at all.

You wanted to get words out so desperately, but you simply could not…

  If you choose Craig:

 Finally taking a deep breath, you smiled and with teary eyes said: “You’re forgiven. Just…don’t ever do that again.”

“Never ever again.” Craig agreed and you quickly walked around the counter to hug him.

While he held you close, he whispered to you.

“I’m sorry that I have been so cold. My grandma died recently, and it affected me more than I thought it would…I just wanted to be alone.”

“It’s okay.” You whispered back, just feeling happy that your beloved boyfriend came around.

“So, to make that lost time up to you…” Craig broke away from your hug and you smiled contently at each other.

“Wanna go out for dinner next weekend?”

“I’d love to, honey.” The bell of the shop rang once more, and some elderly men came in.

“Seems like I gotta go back to work.” You mumbled, watching the men get seated.

“Yeah. So, I’ll be on my way, don’t wanna keep you from work. You look cute in your apron though.” You giggled, biting your lower lip.

“I’ll text you when I’m off work.” He nodded, waved, and went outside.

You stared after him for a moment before you took the new customer's orders.

While preparing the coffee and cake Tweek came back and looked at you with a curious expression.

“He apologized and invited me for dinner next weekend.”

“S-sounds amazing. Does that mean… you will stop working here?” He asked and you immediately shook your head.

“Not at all. I love it here and I love working here with you.”

Tweek smiled widely, happy that his friend would stay with him in the shop.

“I really hope you got some nice clothes for that dinner.” Tweek said while he had a glance at your note block to help you prepare.

“I have something in mind. But maybe you’re interested in coming over and help me pick something fitting? And before that, we will try that new recipe for the raspberry cupcakes and banana bread?”

You asked, sincerely hoping Tweek was onboard.

“Yes, that sounds great.” You were somewhat thankful that Craig had been acting so weirdly.

It allowed you to really get to know the blonde coffee addict that you would now even consider your best friend.

“But n-next time he acts up, offer him some cupcakes with la-laxatives in it.”

The customers were looking over to the two laughing idiots behind the counter.

“Oh my god. Where did you get that idea?”

“Have I ever told you the story of W-WikiLeaks and how Cartman got thrown under a bus by t-teachers?”

“No?”

“You’re in for a treat, trust me.”

The following weekend was wonderful for you.

You had a great afternoon with Tweek, baking and trying on outfits, and your dinner with your boyfriend was amazing too.

You had never seen him so well-kempt and without his signature hat, so it came as a surprise when he stood outside of your door like that.

The dinner itself was a new fond memory of yours. You ordered food and talk for hours on end, catching up on what you two had been missing out on for so long...

  If you choose Tweek:

You didn’t know why your heart arched; you had known it for so long already but just hoped that you didn’t have to do this.

“I-I…” Craig stared at you.

“I am sorry… I just think we should break up…I think I caught feelings for someone else.” You decided to be completely honest and noticed the change in his expression immediately, even if he tried to play it cool.

“I could have guessed that. Tweek is not a bad guy at all… I just want you to know, I am really sorry for how I behaved and maybe we can remain friends?”

“We will see, Craig.” You awkwardly nodded at each other and he left the shop, obviously defeated.

Tweek poked his head out from the backdoor and questioned where your friend went.

“Home, I guess. We broke up.”

Tweek walked towards you and gave you a hug.

“I-I am so sorry to hear, b-but how come. I thought he wanted to apologize?” “I-I-…guess I just don’t feel the same anymore... My time here at the shop and everything made me realize that I can do better…And you proofed me that especially.”

You took his hand in yours, and he jittered and twitched insanely in this for him unusual situation.

You noticed the red blush on his cheeks, and you smiled warmly at him.

“You treated me so much better than he did recently.”

“Well…I-I-…I d-do like you.” Tweek managed to stutter, and you felt your face heat up.

“Hey…Maybe want to hang out next weekend and make dinner together? My parents are out of town.”

Tweek nodded, feeling happy when the bell above the door made you two instantly gain distance.

To Tweek this was new, a close friend of his hinting that they like him and everything.

That was simply too much for him.

The pressure he felt was immense and yet, he felt happy, giddy… In love.

He felt bad for Craig, his friend, and yet happy since you choose to spend time with him.

That slight red blush kept lingering on his cheeks, as he watched you work. With such ease, you managed to make his head spin.

“Just keep doing you. She liked you well enough until now!” He thought to himself to keep calm.

He just had to keep on doing what he did until now and everything would be fine. Basically, a date with the girl he liked the next weekend?

He will try to manage…

[imgoingtohellsofuckit]

Not The One For You

Rodrick x Reader

Warning - Smut (don’t be too hard on it )

Summary - Rodrick’s parents don’t like you so you are having dinner with them to change their mind

Rodrick Heffley wasn't the brightest kid. It was pretty much universally known. So when you told your friends that you were dating the wannabe rock star. It's not like you two were that different. You liked the same music, both had an alternative style, both of you were older siblings, had families who only saw reasons to be disappointed in you. On the outside you two getting together seemed to make a lot a sense. However there were a lot of differences that your friends decided to focus on. Specifically that you were actually really smart and wanted a life that was normal. Well halfway normal. You were excited to keep the alt style but you wanted an actual job. Granted you were trying to be a mortician but still. You wanted the job, the house, the family and well Rodrick wanted the fame and the glory of being a musician.

"You guys are acting like me dating him now means I'm going to spend the rest of my life with him," You point out, "we are 17.... the only thing we know is that we like each other right now."

"Yeah but it's Rodrick," One of them points out, "he's incapable of taking care of himself. This is gonna be your life."

"Exactly! I mean what if you do end up getting like married?"

"Then I handle it then," You answer, "you are looking way too deep into this. We are just dating."

"Babe you ready?" Rodrick calls over.  You look back to see him a little bit down the hall from the circle of girls gathered around my locker.

"Of course Rod," You say as you shut the locker leaving your friends behind as you meet your boyfriend. He drapes his arm around you with a big smirk. Moving to plant a soft kiss on your forehead. My friends weren't the only ones who have problems with us. Rodrick's parents also found a lot to not like in our relationship. First of all Rodrick's mother is well- controlling to say the least. She saw another person in his life dressed in chains and all black, so she decided that I was just like the other people he hangs around with. Ignoring all the parts about me that aren't just my style. And whatever feelings about me his dad had all turned negative when Rodrick forgot to lock his bedroom door and his mom walked in.

"How was your day beautiful?" he asks as we head out to his van.

"It was slow- my calc teacher was riding my ass," You tell him, "deadass he wouldn't leave me alone. He sent me to the office for my outfit and they sent me back saying that it wasn't agaisnt dress code- because it isn't. And this mother fucker looks me dead in the eye and says- 'well if you didn't dress like a hooker I'd feel comfortable teaching you' which is like first off what the fuck."

"Thats gross- did you report him to the office?" Rodrick asks, "do I need to kick his ass?"

"I reported him and I called my mom- who by the way apparently is still on the phone with the principal," You say chuckling lightly, "and no you don't have to kick his ass- mostly because if you did.... you wouldn't win."

"Oh I totally could," He says, "I'm strong as hell."

"uH Rodrick babe I love you but he's the football coach and weighs 300 pounds," You say trying to explain it to him, "you'd get crushed. I still love you tho."

"I'm upset- I could kick his ass.... especially if he's being gross to you," Rodrick says. You nod unconvinced.

"How was your day?" You ask him.

"Boring - however I appreciated the pickup lines during history," He says, "it was cute..."

"I was gonna send my tittes but then I remembered your mom still reads your messages," You say smirking.

"Oh I missed out," He says, "think we can make a detour for a quicky in the car?"

"Your mom wants us there early," You remind him, "plus she's still on the fence about us being alone since she caught us in your room." He rolls his eyes lightly as we climb into his van.

"Yeah but let's say we make a detour to the store hookup in the back of the van and then grab some flowers or something for her to make it seem like we stopped for her," Rodrick suggests, "or maybe like a cake or something. To ya know show the peace..."

"Fine but you'd have to be quick," You tell him, "and you better tell me that your van is clean back there. Last time I got pizza in my hair."

"Clean... no it's not clean," He says, "but I brought a blanket and we can like spread it over the back... It'll be  fine..."

"Fine but the second I touch rotting food it's over," You say firmly. He smirks as he changes the course towards the store just up the street. He makes sure to get in the back line of the parking spots taking the furthest one from the store. He climbs in the back first shoving the trash around the back. The finally throws the blanket down across the back.

"Just like imagine rose petals and a bed and shit," He says. It's quite literally the opposite of the romance that I'd prefer but he's a giant punk dumbass so you have no idea why you would of thought this would be any different.  He sits down and looks at you with a goofy smile. "Malady would you like to join me?" You chuckle before climbing back to join him. The second you get back there he already starts yanking off his shirt. Way too excitedly for his own good. You smile as you move to pull off your layers. Finally as you both get to your underwear he looks at you excitedly. "You're so hot."

"Awe thanks cutie," You say as you climb on his lap moving to meet his lips. His hands fall to your waist. Holding on as you take full control of the situation. You can feel the excitement coursing through him. You chuckle lightly. You move to pull his member free from his boxers. The moving your own underwear to sink down onto his member. He lets out a loud moan as I set the slow pace.

"Mmm you're amazing," He says softly. You chuckle as you quicken the pace. Soft moans filling the car. You can tell you both are moving way more than you thought you would. Anyone on the outside would know automatically what was happening. All you can hope for is no one relaying the information back to Rodrick's mother. "Uhh baby," He moans loudly. You move pulling him into a deep kiss. Feeling the moans through the kiss. You can tell he's not gonna last much longer. You move laying back allowing him to take control. He smirks widely and starts at his assault. The moans filling the van. Echoing off the metal walls. Finally he pulls out. Spilling his load on your legs. "Did you?"

"No not yet," You say slightly annoyed at him finishing before you. He nods pulling your legs on his shoulders. Pulling you towards him. He latches his mouth on your clit trying his best to get you off. He's sloppy. But even the sloppiest technique when your this close could send you way over the edge. Your hand moves over your mouth as you come upon. Stifling the loud moans as you cum. He doesn't stop. He keeps going. Your body feels so good you could scream. He pulls away after a minute catching his breath.  "Come here," You demand. He complies clearly excited to see you like this. You move getting on your hands and knees. He looks like he's about to scream at the sight. He moves pushing himself in with out warning. Pounding into you as fast as he could.

"Mmmm I love you so much," He groans.

"I love you too Rod but please go faster," You moan. He complies. The van was filled with a pure moaning mess. "Oh Rod I'm gonna cum again." You can barely finish the words as you hit your second orgasm. He pulls out as you simply lay down on the blanket.

"Holy fuck," He says as he lays down beside you.

"Fuck Rodrick," You say softly, "we have to go see your parents after this."

"Yeah I guess we kinda went a little too hard," He says softly, "and we still have to actually get flowers or something."

"Ughh think you can manage that?" You ask, "I'm gonna go get cleaned up."

"Yeah what kind?" He asks.

"I don't care get something thats pretty but not a million dollars," You say as you sit up pulling your underwear back on. He nods as he follows suit in pulling on his own clothes. Once you both are fully dressed you climb out of the van. He takes your hand genteelly.

"You're beautiful you know that," He says smiling at you. You move pecking his cheek.

"Thanks Rod."

Once inside the store the two of you split up. You head to the bathroom to clean yourself up. Fixing you makeup and hair. Trying to make the whole thing less obvious. You meet him back at the entrance. He's holding two sets of flowers.

"Rodrick I know you're bad at math but I know you can at least count to thirty," You say chuckling.

"Actually I got these daisies for my mom," He says, "and these roses are for you." He hands the bouquet over to you. You take them with a big grateful smile. Moving in to pull him into a quick kiss. As you pull back he moves draping his arm around your shoulders. "Come on beautiful." As you both make your way to his van you can't help but smile. Sure he's not the most romantic boyfriend- he did just fuck you in the back of his disgusting van and instead of cleaning it to do so he threw a blanket over rotting food and old condoms. But the small gestures like the roses and the compliments. Really just prove that he's not as bad of a boyfriend as everyone thinks he is.

It doesn't take us long for you guys to reach his house. He holds your hand as he leads you both into the house.

"Rodrick is that you?" His mom calls.

"Yeah mom!" Rodrick yells back. His mom moves from the kitchen over to the doorway. She looks over us.

"Rodrick it is a 5 minute drive from the school to the house why did it take you almost an hour?" She asks him clearly not happy with you both. You smile nervously as you hand her the flowers. This dinner was my chance to fix the fact his parents didn't like me. And getting railed by their son right before this interaction was very much hurting my chances of this going well.

"We had to go to my mom's shop real quick then we picked up these flowers," You tell her, "sorry my fault. My mom wanted me to bring her a coffee." Her expression softens.

"Awe well thank you," She says, "how was your day Y/n?"

"Oh it was good," You tell her, "very productive."

"That's good! Here come with me I want you to taste this sauce for the pasta," She says brightly, "it's a new recipe." She starts moving off to the kitchen. Rodrick gives you a slightly impressed look before leading you both into the kitchen.

The rest of the dinner actually goes really well. Rodrick's mother despite her reserves after catching you and Rodrick seems to finally have forgiven you. Letting go of the stupid blame she had for you "corrupting her son" or whatever garbage she went on about.

"I hope Rodrick is being a gentleman," Mrs. Heffley says to you.

"Oh he is," You tell her, "he got me roses today. And he's always opening doors for me. Making sure to sent me good morning texts. He's actually a really good boyfriend." He smiles at you. You tighten your grip on his hand. She looks pleased with his answer. Greg starts to make a snarky comment but his brother kicks him from under the table.  

"That's good, I'm proud of you Rodrick," His mother says. His father looks between you and his son. Not completely convinced his son would act like anything other than the slob he knows.

"We are talking about this Rodrick right?" His father asks.

"Yeah actually," You say, "I know it might be hard to believe- I didn't believe it at first."

"What's so hard to believe about it?" Rodrick asks, "she's my girl and I want to make her happy-" The sweet words ending in a loud burp. Both of his parents sigh loudly. You simply chuckle. He looks over to you with a big smile. Then moves pecking your forehead.

"Yeah she's perfect for you Rodrick," Greg says, "anyone who can handle that- you better keep her around."

"Can it nerd," Rodrick says harshly.

"So what are you planning to do after school?" Mrs. Heffley asks you.

"I'm planning to go to school and studying mortuary science," You explain, "Mortician's are a job that's always gonna be there... And it helps that my grandmothers a mortician and is hiring me on her staff when I meet the requirements to join." She nods along to your words.

"Oh so you want a real job," His father says, "hmm Rodrick you could try that some time."

"No thanks old man," Rodrick says, "I'd rather stick something that actually matters. Like music... Not that I think your ambitions don't matter Y/n."

"No I understand," You tell him, "you have your dream and I have mine." You look to his parents. "Real jobs are relative... society is changing and becoming things like musicians and influencers is a lot easier than it was before." His mother chuckles nervously. You know that they have this thing against Rodrick's music. However you also know you want to support your boyfriend way more than you want his parents to like you. "I believe that Rodrick will do great in his music career...."

"Awe thanks babe-"

"If he works for it," You continue, "the music industry is hard and you have to stand out. I'm sure he'll get there but it'll take a lot of work."

"That's well put," His father says.

"She's very insightful," Rodrick says, "right babe?" You chuckle lightly. His mother looks back to you.

"So where is this school your looking at?" She asks you, "is it local? Or are you going away?"

"Oh it's local actually," You explain, "the next town over really but it's like a 20 minute drive." She nods. You give her a soft smile. "It's just a small college. I told Rodrick to check it out. They have a music production course which is apparently really nice."

"I've looked into it," Rodrick says, "and I don't know if school is for me... Considering I barely go when it's free I don't know if I want to pay to skip school all the time."

"You wouldn't be paying for all of it," His dad says, "if you actually go I might help... but you'd have to stay enrolled." Rodrick scoffs.

"School doesn't have to be for you Rod," You say to him, "but it's worth a look ya know. Maybe even a tour. You don't have to decide right now."

"Fine I'll tour it," He says, "we can tour together."

"Did she just get Rodrick to agree to tour a college?" His father asks in disbelief, "this isn't real?"

"Shhh don't say anything he might change his mind," His mother says quietly. Rodrick stabs at his pasta. He takes his last bite and then looks to his parents.

"I'm gonna drive her home," Rodrick says, "we'll probably stop to get something sweet on the way. That good?"

"Yeah of course," His mom says, "it was lovely seeing you Y/n."

"You as well Mrs. and Mr. Heffley, I hope I see you again soon," You say to them.

"Oh well how about you come to Grandpa Heffley's birthday party," Mrs. Heffley offers, "it'll be here and I'm sure the family would love to meet you... And you and Rodrick have been dating for a little bit now so I'm sure they'd love to see more than just the pictures you and Rodrick post online."

"Is that okay with you Rodrick?" You ask him.

"Sure it'll make it a lot less boring," Rodrick says, "can we head out now?"

"Yes Rodrick," His mother says clearly not loving his attitude. You wave to them as you stand. Rodrick leads you both out to his van.

"You sure that it's okay?" You ask, "If you don't want to then I don't have to go."

"It's literally fine," He says as you both get into his van, "honestly if you're there I'll actually have someone who likes me there." He gives you a smile. "I'd love it if you'd go."

"Then I'll go," You tell him, "it's nice that your parents seem to like me again."

"Yeah now I can have you over without my mom making us sit downstairs," Rodrick says, "and I don't have to hear the whole- 'are you sure about y/n?' speeches now." You chuckles.

"That's good," You say, "I love how your parents didn't like me but my mom adores you."

"Oh yeah I know," He says, "not the way I pictured that going honestly. I was afraid your mom would hate me."

"No she loves you!" You exclaim, "she thinks it's good that I'm with someone who likes to have fun... something about how I don't do that enough. And my grandma thinks you're funny."

"You're grandpa doesn't like me," Rodrick points out.

"Yeah well he doesn't really like me either," You add, "he's against anything that's different. I mean he's still harassing my mom about having two kids out of wedlock so there wasn't any hope for you babe."

"Didn't he want you to have like a chasty belt?"

"No he bought me a purity ring," You correct, "I gave it back to him saying that I don't believe in waiting til marriage and he called his priest on me... Ooo if I wear that would your mom like me more?"

"I think after she caught us having sex a thing about being a forever virgin won't really mean much," He says, "even if its a religious thing." You shrug in response.

"I tried," You say, "so whats this sweet thing you want to get on the way to mine?"

"You," He says with a smirk, "your mom home?"

"Not for another hour," You say brightly.

"Good because I think I've still got more in me."

"You're a dog Rodrick."

"And you love it," He says with a smirk.

“I really do.”

[hobidreams]

ok this is ab to be a very unpopular opinion 👀 but oc deserves SO MUCH better than yoongi !!! like yea he’s sweet and loving and gentle now but the way he treated her in the beginning was atrocious. he was so rough, so uncaring, he made her cry, and he literally used her while KNOWING her feelings for him. he even admitted that he straight up thought of her as a whore? the one thing she’s been sensitive about her WHOLE life due to her social status, which he prolly knew about bc they were friends for so long. like all of their history washed away as soon he got caught up in his angst and started to see her as someone to have sex with. like her mom died too lmfao ur not special 😭😭

i see where ur coming from for sure! if this story was happening irl in our time period, i would tell oc to leave him too lol. but i also believe that good people make shit decisions. and that people do physically and mentally change due to trauma.

please remember that the beginning of the series is NOT the beginning of their relationship!! he has always tried to treat her with kindness, esp when he was a teen. what i tried to show throughout the series was that he has always been that loving and gentle boy. but he was so confused and unable to allow himself to have those feelings after being thrust into kingship!

and yes, she lost her mom too, but he also lost the person directing him as king of the entire damn country. hes terrified. every wrong move he makes could send thousands of ppl to their deaths. even his executions were trying to save the rest of his people. worst of all hes not even allowed to be sad bc he has to perform strength for the court.

he never ACTUALLY saw her as someone to have sex with. he TRIED to do that, bc that's what he thought a king should do (get rid of all his weaknesses). as he says, "Even though at one point, at my worst, I thought that was the only way I could have you. If I told myself to think of you as…" he repeatedly tells himself to imagine her that way but it never works (how many times have we told ourselves to stop crushing on someone and its absolutely futile? i did it so much 😭) he renovates the whole pavilion for her. he gives her an ENTIRE HALL to practice her medicine (a hall is fucking enormous lol. like giving someone an entire house instead of a room). he never uses her as just a body bc he cant hide his feelings. if i wrote nov 1868 from his pov, itd be more evident how he breaks down, needing her touch, needing her compassion as he rmbs all those happy times they had together as kids. there are hints of it there, like when she notes that he seems to be lingering w his touches. every time he had sex with her, he was just as in love with her as she him. hes physically unable to see her as "just a body to use."

also,,, he actually only calls her "whore" ONCE, in april 1869. i didnt explicitly mention it in the story bc there was never a place for it but i imagine he saw her puffy eyes that night and saw how the word seemed to bother her and so he never says it again. every other iteration of it comes from oc degrading herself. i also imagine he went back to his chambers that night feeling so shitty and sad, beating himself up for wanting her and hurting her by doing so but also being unable to truly leave her behind.

unfortunately mlt is mostly from oc's pov so its hard to show his side :( but i tried to show disonnance between his words and his actions. he doesnt treat her like any mere woman. he never has 😭

also maybe i didnt explain this enough but his trauma with the assasination attempt is his reasoning for why he tried to keep oc out of it/as only a body to use. he didnt want her to end up like his mom or that other concubine if feelings got involved. he didnt want her to love him. but thats where he was wrong--feelings were always involved between these two.

[fktonofwhatnow]

The Rhys/Tamlin 180 in ACOMAF makes me mad! Like there’s wasted potential there, even if Rhys is endgame. The concept of after the happily ever after is actually pretty cool. There’s real potential in looking at how Tamlin and Feyre deal with the trauma of Amarantha. Having two people realized they’re not right together while still respecting each other is a more adult take than “surprise, Tamlin sux now”, and allows for Feyre to actually make real choices and grow. What's your ACOMAF rewrite?

Damn YALL ARE SPOILING ME WITH THE TAMLIN ASKS ☺️☺️ thank youuu for the ask @havenfable

THIS IS AGREAT POINT TOO WAIT WHAT YOU SAID ABOUT ALLOWING FEYRE TO ACTUALLY MAKE REAL DECISIONS !! YOUR BRAIN !! you guys are spectacular eat a cookie you have earned it 

Ok my thoughts are not quite coherent rn so I’ll try to make sense. I’ve tried writing this like 4 times and every time it just doesn’t work so bear with me here thank you I love you ok here we go. 

Ok I’m gonna start by saying that there is something to be said about Feyre as the narrator and her being an “unreliable” narrator of sorts. The story is about her, told from her perspective. I don’t expect her to have objective views of what happens around her. one thing I found interesting was that she said in conversations with people that she knew Tamlin was struggling, but when we would be listening to her internal monologue, when she thought of him it was mostly to blame him for not knowing she was struggling. (or if he did know, he didn't do anything about it) So like, same thing with the whole thing with Rhysand's mom and sister, we don't know what Tamlin thinks or feels about the situation because he doesn't talk about it and Feyre never asks. (But oh DAMN Sarah should not have given me room to speculate.) Like, UTM broke Feyre right, she tells us that much. Why are we not allowed to believe that it destroyed Tamlin too.

Here we are again, just like with Rhysand's family. I don't blame Feyre for literally needing help, and I do blame Tamlin for not helping her, but to a degree. I hated how the whole situation was handled like Tamlin was shit for not trying to help Feyre (even tho he was, just not in the way she needed), but then Feyre literally not lifting a single finger to try to help Tamlin is ok because he's a man and he can just suck it up and take it. ???? No ? That's not how we handle trauma? Like, my homeboy is fighting a losing battle against this shit and he's the one who's gotta fix everything for Feyre?

But like you said, just a tiny little bit of helpful communication would have done wonders. How about a lil, "hey you ok?" ???? LETS TALK ABOUT IT! Let's talk about how we're falling out of love, let's talk about what Tamlin experienced under the mountain, let's talk about what Feyre experienced under the mountain, let's talk about how maybe we were never good for each other and how we move on with our lives from that! POTENTIAL !! LETS HAVE THEM GROW "Surprise! Tamlin sucks now!" bitch how. Literally how. How did this happen. How did we get here. Tell me. I want to know SJm. Stop being a coward and tell me. You know what, I'll do it for you.

Damn this is about to be super duper long I'm so sorry. 

Alrighty guys once again, I love Tamlin with my whole chest, but I do put a hefty chunk of this on him. From what SJm tells us about Tamlin, he is a fearful individual. His responses to fear are either to freeze or to explode. Both extremes hurt people around him. His actions hurt people, and his lack of action hurts people. Also, for as often as he says the word sorry, he doesn't really show any signs of change or improvement. While I understand that yes , changing your behavior is hard, especially if you're not getting help and don't know how, Tamlin still could have tried a little more, pushed just a little harder, and yes, he could have been better.

But Tamlin is scared. He's scared of things outside of his control, he's scared of change, he's scared of people he loves leaving him or getting hurt. I'm willing to bet he's scared of himself, and rightfully so. He lashes out and it only ever hurts people. I can't believe he's blind to it. When he destroys the study, he's clearly afraid he hurt Feyre.

(i think I’m gonna do my acomaf rewrite headcanons in a different post, every time I try to write them here it doesn’t flow oooof lemme know if thats something you want ahahah I could talk about this shit forever) 

And like, being subject to someone else's fear is stifling. I don't blame Feyre for getting the hell out of there.

BUT AT THE SAME TIME, I know I've said this before: in my opinion, Tamlin has the best depiction of trauma in the whole fucking series. PTSD is a bitch and Tamlin is losing to it. The thing I loathed about acomaf/the beginning of Acowar is how Tamlin isn't given help and then treated like an absolute asshole for it. SJm could have done so much if she had Tamlin learn to ask for help. We can't all just have a Rhysand who knows every thought we have. Sometimes we have to ask for help, as much as we don't want to. That would have done wonders for Tamlin's character arc. And I think that he should have leaned heavily on Lucien for that.

Now look, Lucien deserves a lifetime of free chiropractor visits to relieve the soreness from carrying the entire series solely by himself on his own back. If I'm the one to pay for that for him, so be it. I would do anything for this man.

Lucien deserved so much better than to be bulldozed by the narrative. I refuse to believe that he would let Tamlin use him as a doormat. Lucien deserved to tell Tamlin off on his behavior ok. Lucien deserved a fucking backbone that he had all of acotar and then SJm decided that he was the character who got to suffer for the decisions of every other characters so they didn't have to. Stupid. (At this point I wouldn't be surprised if Rhysand's cum from having sky sex with Feyre fell directly on Luciens face. That's how much SJm likes pummelling him)

Lucien deserves to be strong and tough and emotionally available, especially for Tamlin. I don't think he deserves to be abused by his best friend. I've read fics that make Tamlin like this jackass who's not sad at all that Amarantha forced him to whip his best friend. Are you fucking kidding me. I feel like if Tamlin was going to cling like hell to someone through all of the shit before, during and after UTM, it should be lucien. But no SJm needs us to know Tamlin is a bad guy now. He hurts everyone with no remorse!!! What a villain!!! That was a sin.

Acomaf deserved to be two people talking about how maybe this relationship wasn't going to work out. This book deserved to be Tamlin getting up the courage to as Lucien for help. This book deserved to be Lucien always telling Tamlin that he would be there for him and us getting to watch the two of them overcoming their hardships together. This book deserved to be Feyre choosing her own path, choosing her own family, choosing to live her life as she wanted.

But nah. Rhysand's got a fat cock and uhhh y'all need to like it more than y'all like Tamlin's dick. Also Rhysand is a feminsisist. So suck it.

(If this book was really about giving Feyre a choice, SJm would let her make actual decisions that actually impacted herself and the story instead of just having Rhysand give her two extremes with one of them being obviously the right choice and then tell her whatever she wanted to do was her choice. Feminism.)

Did any of that make any sense. Any at all. No? Yeah I didn't think so anyways I've spent like a week on this I'm tired and I wanted to get it out there. Acomaf was a mess but at least it wasn't Acowar hahahahaha