#once again I’m so sorry I know this is bad timing it FEELS bad but like…. it was now or never

[worthlessnepenthes]

So I reblogged this because it’s funny but then I thought about YQY for a second, and reblogged again so I could talk.

This isn’t going to be any new, profound thoughts for the fandom I’m sure but they’re new to me and I wanna talk for a minute.

I, personally, do not like YQY. I don’t HATE him, but I don’t like him. But I do feel sorriest for him, out of all the SVSSS and PIDW characters. I often forget that when he left SJ, he too was a literal child. Yes, he probably could have done better—told his master he needed help to save his brother, heck, told a fellow shidi or shixiong once he got to the peak. He was probably popular. I can’t imagine no one would have been willing to help him. But he was also a child, so I forgive him. He suffered and hurt himself, grievously, permanently causing himself a chronic condition in his attempts to get back to DJ. I don’t know that I think he did everything he COULD, but I do believe he did everything he THOUGHT he could.

And then Shen Jiu shows up, much like a feral cat, and constantly lashes out and hurts YQY. Their strained relationship is absolutely caused on both ends. It’s hard to say, ‘Well, YQY should have just KNOWN that SJ wasn’t going to the brothels to sleep with whores/didn’t kill LQG/wasn’t abusing Ning Ning/whatever other terrible things he was accused of,’ when SJ was, in fact, very verbally abusive and physically abusive to at least one disciple (lbh. Do we even get a canon reason WHY he hates him so much?), and verbally abusive to YQY, and to most likely many other characters.

However, maybe if YQY had actually stood up for SJ and said ‘No, this is a misunderstanding, this is not what happened,’ instead of just assuming that SJ had done whatever terrible thing and then covering for him in a sense of guilt, maybe things wouldn’t have been so bad. Or if YQY said, ‘take out your anger on me, it’s all my fault, but leave the others alone’. (It wasn’t, and SJ is wrong for acting this way.)

Honestly if they had ever fucking COMMUNICATED instead of just assuming the actual fucking worst of each other, while still deeply loving the other (in whatever romantic or platonic way they had, they loved the other) no matter whether they ever said it or not, a lot could have been avoided. Like PIDW YQY’s death.

Or hell, if Airplane had ever written about Xianxia mental health care instead of probably curing depression with papapa!

But the relationship between SJ and YQY is almost worse and more horrifying after SY comes through. YQY KNOWS it isn’t SJ, but every test they do show he isn’t possessed. So maybe it really is SJ, and all SJ needed to become happy was simply…to forget almost everything, but especially any time SJ and YQY spent together before they became Peak Lords.

So YQY is still trying to make it up to a person that he both thinks is there and thinks is not there, never knowing for sure. Every emotion he has towards this ‘new’ SJ feeling like a betrayal, ‘if only SJ could have acted like this before!’

Yeah. It’s really horrifying. He never gets the comfort of knowing for certain that SJ is gone, never gets to properly grieve and burn incense for him. But he also always feels just slightly off kilter with SY, and then feels guilt, because this is SJ! And even if it isn’t…what can YQY do about it?

YQY has many sleepless nights, wondering, after SY shows up.

I don’t like YQY, but I feel sorry for him. He is the most pitiful character in the book to me.

Shen Qingqiu, pissed off during a peak lord meeting: when I die I want Shang-shidi to lower me into the earth, just so he can let me down one last time

Shang Qinghua: bro c'mon

Yue Qingyuan, abruptly overcome by jealousy so intense that he's on the verge of a qi deviation: but I thought I was the one who let Xiao Jiu down the most...?

[cjlouwho]

An Open Door

In which Eddie leaves, and Tommy stays. bucktommy. rated G. read below or on ao3.

Buck waved as Eddie’s truck turned at the end of the street. He stood in the driveway for a bit, staring at the house. Now empty, ready for an older couple to move into next week.

He thought about all the memories there. The many nights spent playing video games with Christopher, the both of them begging Eddie to let Chris stay up ten more minutes.

The times Buck came to Eddie’s with good news, or bad news. A home he was as comfortable in as his own.

A home he’d never step foot in again.

He sighed, got into his Jeep, took one last look, and drove away.

*****

When he got to his loft, he didn’t think twice before heading for the kitchen. He got out a baking sheet, turned on the oven, and went to the pantry to grab his ingredients.

It’d been a while since he’d done this. He’d stopped around the time Maddie had gotten taken, then most of his spare time was spent helping Eddie sell his place and find one in Texas.

But now he had all the free time in the world, which meant he could bake until he ran completely out of flour- then head to the store for more.

As he began mixing the ingredients together for some shortbread cookies, his mind was in overdrive.

He couldn’t stop thinking. Thinking about all the good memories, the way he used to feel, how happy he was every time they made plans, what it was like having him there.

And he thought about how he felt now. How sad, lonely, heartbroken. The way he wished more than anything he could change how it all ended. How he wished the people he loved would learn to stay. How-

Oh.

The oven beeped to alert it was preheated at the exact moment Buck connected the dots.

He knew what he needed to do. What he had to do.

Quickly, he scrubbed his hands, shut off the oven, and grabbed his keys and a Ziploc bag from the freezer.

It was now or never.

*****

Buck knocked on the door, swaying from side to side anxiously as he waited for it to open.

He took a deep breath once the doorknob turned, needing a second to take in the sight in front of him.

Tommy standing there in sweats, a black henley, and his jacket. Hair slightly disheveled, eyes blinking rapidly to adjust to the sunlight.

“Ev- Buck, what are you doing here?”

“I needed to talk to you.”

“Okay." Tommy moved to the side. "Do you… you wanna come inside?”

“I won’t stay long. I- I’ve had a rough few weeks. It- Actually, it’s been a rough few months.”

“I heard about Maddie,” Tommy said. “I’m glad she’s okay. I would’ve called, but I didn’t think it was my place.”

“It would have been nice,” Buck replied bitterly, “to hear from you.”

Tommy nodded, eyes downcast. “I’m sorry, Buck.”

“That’s not- I’m not here because of that.”

“Okay. So... why are you here?”

“Eddie left today, for Texas.”

“To go visit Chris?”

“To move there. Y- You didn’t hear about that?”

“No,” Tommy answered, crossing his arms over his chest. “I haven’t spoken to Eddie since we broke up. Are you okay?”

“I was baking-” Buck held out the bag in his hand, giving it to Tommy, “here’s some cookies, by the way. Chocolate chip walnut.”

“My favorite.”

“I know. Anyway, I was baking and I realized that, I was sad. I was really, really sad. And angry. I- I felt betrayed, and lonely, and hurt.”

“Eddie was a good friend to you.”

Buck huffed out a laugh, shaking his head. “It didn’t have anything to do with Eddie, Tommy.”

Tommy’s eyebrows furrowed, a second of confusion washing over him until realization hit. “Oh.”

“Yeah, oh. Eddie’s always gonna be my friend. He- no matter where he is, I’ll be able to call or go visit, and I’m sure he’ll visit here with Christopher. It… It’s you, Tommy. I want you in my life. I- I know I screwed up. I didn’t think everything through, and y- you were right. I was being impulsive.”

“I screwed up too,” Tommy admitted.

Buck nodded in agreement. “Yeah, you did. I wasn’t aware there were rules to figuring out your sexuality and I- I didn’t realize that you went into this thinking I was just passing through-”

“Buck, that’s not-”

“Let me finish.” Buck took a breath, straightening up as Tommy pursed his lips. “I wasn’t using you as a way to test out whether or not I was really into men. You- Tommy, I was all in. It hurt me to think that you never were.”

Tommy waited a moment, then, “Is it okay to talk now?” he asked, voice quiet.

“I’m done.”

“When I asked you out that night, at your place, I had no idea you hadn’t ever been with another man. And when I found out, I decided right then and there that you could set the pace. However slow that pace was, it was on you. I didn’t realize your pace was a hell of a whole lot faster than mine. I didn’t know I’d spend the majority of the next six months out of breath, running to try and catch up-”

“Tommy-”

Tommy held up a hand. “Please, just… let me finish.”

With a little eye roll, Buck held his tongue.

“I’ve never known anyone who,” he paused, choosing his words carefully, “who cares as much as you. I’ve never had anyone care for me or stick around once they really got to know me and that scared me.”

Now it was Buck’s turn to wait a moment before asking, “Is it okay to talk now?”

“I’m done.”

“Love.”

Tommy blinked once. Twice. “Love?”

“You said no one had ever cared for you, but it wasn’t just that,” Buck replied, on a roll now. “It was- is- love. I love you, Tommy. That’s the only way I can explain it, and I should have said it before but I don’t think it even hit me until I was in my second week of trying to make the perfect sourdough bagels. I have never, ever felt the pain I felt when you walked out the door. I’ve never mourned a partner the way I’ve mourned you and I’ve never loved someone the way I love y-”

Suddenly, Tommy’s finger was hooked under Buck’s chin, lifting his head slightly, just enough to press their lips together.

Buck moaned into it and, when Tommy went to back away far too soon, Buck was grabbing onto his jacket and pulling him closer.

Tommy dropped the cookies, bringing his arms around Buck’s back and holding him tight.

“Evan,” Tommy panted as they finally parted for air. “Evan, I-”

“What?” Buck asked, noting the sad look on Tommy’s face. “What’s wrong?”

“I dropped your cookies.”

Buck threw his head back with a laugh, grabbing onto Tommy’s face and kissing him again. “There’s plenty more where that came from, I promise.”

Tommy smiled softly, unable to tear his eyes away from Evan’s. “Can you say it again?” he asked.

“I love you, Tommy,” Buck said, no hesitation.

Tommy pulled Buck close, wrapping his arms around him tightly. “I love you too, Evan.”

Buck, feeling lighter and calmer than he’d felt in months, rested his head on Tommy’s shoulder. “Yeah?”

“Yeah. You want to come in now?”

“I’d love that.”

[grandline-fics]

For your Valentine's Event: Single Red Rose with Benn Beckman. ❤️

DESCRIPTION: Single Red Rose- When your date goes wrong, they come to your rescue

WARNINGS:  mutual pining but it all works out.

CHARACTERS: Benn Beckman

WORDS: 923

A/N: Thank you @thecrimsonacademic for this request for the Valentine's Event! I hope you like what I came up with for Beck. This is my second time writing for him so I'm still trying to get the hang of getting his personality down

*REQUESTS ARE OPEN*

DIRECTORY | PROMPT LIST | KO-FI | VALENTINES EVENT MASTERLIST

————————

When you’d returned to the Red Force, Benn immediately noticed the extra bounce in your step and unshakable smile. His eyes always seemed to find you regardless of what was going on around him but when your mood was this good, it was impossible for him to not notice. You must have encountered something very fun to do on the island they’d stopped at. Still it didn't explain why you were back so soon. He was one of the few on watch duty. You were part of the group out exploring the island. Curious he stepped up beside you as you made your way to the kitchen to grab a drink. “What’s got you so upbeat? Yasopp get drunk and fall asleep in a flowerbed again?”

“No! It's too early for that, even for him.” You grinned, leaning against the counter while Beck grabbed a drink of his own. “I’ve got a date tonight.”

Not a lot surprised Benn much anymore but that declaration did make him pause and the once delicious mouthful of ale in his mouth seemed to become heavier and harder to swallow. While nothing ever explicit had happened between you both, Benn was very aware of his feelings that had been growing for you to be beyond just crewmates and friends.

You’d both flirted more times than he could count and been affectionate but nothing ever romantic or sexual since Benn believed letting things take the natural course to be the best plan of action. Seemed while he was on the ship and you were out on your own, someone caught your eye. He was a realist to know this wasn’t love for you and this random person. The ship would be setting sail in a couple days, this was just something to pass the time. Regardless of the meaning, the word ‘date’ twisted something unpleasant in him. 

“A date huh?” Beck asked, keeping an air of calm and lightheartedness in his words because the last thing he would ever do was sour your happiness. “Hope they’re able to show you a good time. You deserve it.”

“I hope so too.” You smiled warmly as you finished your drink and sighed with a light shrug. “But if turns into a bad time, I’ll not cry over it. They’re cute, but not that cute. I’m going to get ready.” You stepped away and walked towards the door only to stop and quickly turn to look at Benn warningly but still with a touch of playfulness in your stare. “And if Shanks asks-”

“I know, I know. ” Beckman chuckled, knowing the last thing you'd want on a date was for Shanks to lurk nearby or tease you and disrupt things. “I won’t say a word until we set sail.”

“You’re the best, Beck.” You beamed before disappearing down the hallway to get ready for your night.

It wasn't long after you’d left to go meet your date when Lucky and Hongo returned to allow Benn and the others remaining on board to go out and see the island and have some fun. Beck knew he wouldn’t need to search far to find at least someone in the crew, knowing their lively presences would make themselves known without any effort. He was right because someone in the crew did appear, he was just surprised to see it was you and even stranger still you were on your own and the bounce you had in your step earlier was gone. “Hey you.” Beck greeted, his voice snapping you out of your thoughts. “What happened?”

“Guy never showed.” You explained with a small shrug. “Left a message that had he known I was a pirate he wouldn’t have asked me out.”

“You’re kidding.” Benn asked with eyebrows raised and a disbelieving shake of his head, some people were so gutless. “I’m sorry-“

“Don’t apologise, Beck. Like I said he was cute, but not cute enough to cry over. I just wish I hadn’t wasted my time getting ready for it to go to waste.” You shrugged, smiling softly at Beck’s sympathy. “Have a good night. I’ll see you on the ship.”

As you moved to head in the direction of the ship you were swiftly caught by Benn’s hand and stopped. You looked up at your crewmate and let out a sigh to see him looking at you with a serious look. Truthfully you weren’t in any way hurt by what had happened. You’d mostly agreed to a date with someone else because you thought it would take your mind off of your feelings for the man in front of you. Now you hated that he looked upset on your behalf.“Beck, honestly I’m fine.”

“Fine or not you look too good to let it go to waste. C’mon you wanted a date, you’re getting a date.” Benn instructed, leading you back towards the town. When you opened your mouth to protest he grinned at you. “Don’t worry I’ll make sure you have fun.”

“That’s not what I’m worried about.” You huffed out with a smile, finally letting him lead you wherever he wanted. “Fine, I’m curious now to see how Benn Beckman operates on a date. Show me what you got Beck.”

“Oh that’s a tall order.” Benn laughed, adjusting his hand to lace his fingers with yours. “Y’see to really get the full experience it’ll take a lot more than a single date. Could take a long while.”

“That so?” You grinned walking side by side with him. “I’ve got the time.”

——————————————-

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[fawnhart]

sugar and rafes first time meeting ! ㅤ⭑๋ ࣭

You remember the moment your whole life started to crumble. It was a Tuesday, you think. Maybe a Wednesday? Doesn’t really matter. The days just blur together when you’re stuck in a house where you’re not allowed to live

You were listening to Jeff Buckley. You had it on repeat for weeks now, hiding it under a loose plank in the floorboards of your room. Your parents would never allow it. Not in a million years. Especially your mom. She’d explode if she ever found out. Everything was so god damn evil to her

But that day you thought you had time. She was supposed to be gone for at least another hour. It was Wednesday. Church group meetings. It was always a Wednesday.

You slipped the CD into your player old and busted up, the kind with the cassette tape thing but with a CD attachment, so it wasn’t completely outdated. You sat on your bed, staring out at the little slice of sky visible through your window, not really thinking about anything in particular just thinking. Then you heard the door downstairs.

“What the hell is that noise?”

You froze. Your heart dropped into your stomach. You thought your mom wouldn’t be home yet. You’d been so sure. You asked Mrs. Maggie to 1000% sure. But she was early. You scrambled to hit stop, but the music kept playing. Her voice, firm and pissed, was coming closer.

“What the hell are you doing?”

Your pulse raced. You shoved the player under your pillow just as she stormed into the room, her eyes narrowing. She was already clutching that look the one that meant something bad was about to happen.

“What did I tell you about this?” Her voice was tight and screechy.

“I wasn’t doing nothin’” you said, your voice shaky. You didn’t even believe yourself. You knew exactly why she was upset. But you had to try. You had to try to be normal for once, even if it was just for a few minutes in your own room.

“Nothing?” Her lip curled, disgust in every word. “Baby, you think you can just fill ya’ head with that filth and call it ‘nothin’?’”

You bit your lip, holding back tears. She stepped forward, pointing at the CD player under your pillow.

“This is demonic! I knew it. You’ve been listening to the devil behind my back. It’s not enough that you’re dressing like... like one of those whores at school. But now you want to be dirty on the inside, too?”

Your throat felt tight, like you couldn’t breathe. Your mind was racing. What were you supposed to say?

“You’re going to ruin everything I’ve worked for. Everything your father and I have taught you,” she hissed, her eyes wild with something you didn’t recognize. It wasn’t love, not even close.

“it’s just music,” you whispered, too quietly, but she heard you.

She grabbed the player from your bed and yanked the CD out.

“It’s. not. just. music,” she said, her voice cracking. “It’s a gateway. It’s corruption to the brain.”

You wanted to scream. You wanted to tell her that all you wanted was to be normal, to have what everyone else had. a life outside of this house, outside of her rules. But the words never came.

She was moving now, pulling open drawers, emptying them onto the floor.

“all that filth you’ve been hiding from me and I’ve been lenient on is done for. I’m taking it all.”

She tossed your music cds, your makeup, your books. Everything you’d spent months gathering, everything you’d used to try to feel like you were an ordinary girl, was being thrown away.

And then, the worst part.

“Your father won’t stand for this. We’ll have you cleansed”

You faltered. Cleansed? It was such a cold, clinical word. But you knew what it meant. The prayers. The rituals. You couldn’t let that happen. You couldn’t live through that.

Your eyes were filling with tears, your chest tightening.

“I’m sorry!, I didn’t mean to. I won’t listen to that again, okay? I swear,” you pleaded, though you knew it didn’t matter.

But it was too late, she was already at the door

“You know honey, my church group has been just how ungodly you’ve been acting, but I didn’t believe them….. I hate that you proved them right”

locking it behind her with that final click that meant you were trapped.

You pressed your back against the door, the tears finally spilling over. You couldn’t think straight. Your whole body was shaking, your mind was screaming. I need to get out of here.

You knew what you had to do.

You waited for what felt like hours, listening to the muffled sounds of your mom in the kitchen. The smell of dinner wafted under the door, and all you could think about was how your entire life had been planned for you. You were supposed to be a good girl. A good Christian girl. But you weren’t. And you were never going to be.

Finally, when you thought your heart couldn’t take any more, you got up. You grabbed the little bag you’d hidden in the closet. Nothing but a few clothes, and the money you’d saved up from waitressing at ‘sticky’s’. Quietly, carefully, you pulled out the plank in the floor, grabbed the rest of your hidden things, and shoved them into your bag. You didn’t think twice.

You climbed out the window, holding your breath, praying that she wouldn’t hear you.

Once you were outside, you took off running.

You didn’t know where you were going, but it didn’t matter. You had to get out.

You ran for what felt like forever. The night was cold, but you didn’t care. It was better than being to the place you once called home.

You didn’t notice him at first.

You glanced around realizing you were for sure not on the cut anymore, the big tall houses made it clear to you were on figure eight now.

then you saw him

Rafe Cameron.

You’d seen him around, of course. He was one of the rich kids, always walking around with that stupid confident smile, like he owned the whole island. You’d never paid him any attention. You had enough of your own problems to deal with. But when you saw him standing at the end of the street, leaning against his car smoking god knows what, you froze.

You’ve heard the stories about Rafe Cameron. He’s the kind of guy everyone talks about but no one truly understands.

He’s always been a mystery, and he still is. But there’s something about him, something that draws you in, even though you know you probably shouldn’t get too close.

You never really expected to see him again, not after the way he disappeared seven years ago.

Rafe left figure eight right after that night, the night he ended up in jail. No one knows exactly what happened, but everyone has their theories.

Some say it was a huge mistake, some say it was just a matter of time, others say ward himself drove his only son out of town. But whatever it was, it was enough to make him walk away from everything. His family, his life there, his whole world.

He packed up and drove five hours away, living on his own, far from the memories and the mess the pouges he hated had caused.

In the time since, he’s built himself up. People talk about how he’s thriving now, working as a firefighter or something like that. Hard work, steady pay, and no one really bothers him anymore.

It’s like he’s trying to rebuild his life, piece by piece. But even though he’s been gone for so long, when he talks about his baby sister wheezie, there’s this soft, almost protective vibe about him

Now, he’s back in town, just for her birthday. It’s strange seeing him like this, but there’s something different about him. He’s older, quieter, and maybe even a little lost in his own way.

He was looking straight at you, his brow furrowed, like he knew something was wrong.

“Hey,” he called out, his voice muffled by his blunt but clear in the quiet night air.

You stopped in your tracks.

“Are you alright?” he asked, taking a step toward you.

You didn’t know what to say. Of course you weren’t alright!. You were running away from your own life, from your own mother. But you didn’t know how to tell him that.

“I... I’m fine,” you said, but even to your own ears, it sounded like a lie.

He took another step forward, still studying you with those eyes that seemed too kind for someone like him.

“I’m serious,” he said, his voice softer now. “You look rough.”

Your breath hitched. ‘Gee thanks’ Yeah, you looked rough. You had been rough for years. But hearing it from someone else...it hit different.

“Do you need a ride?” he asked.

You didn’t know what to do. You didn’t know him. But you also didn’t know anyone who would help you, not like this. So you warily followed him

You stared at him, confused, trying to figure out if he was serious or playing some sick joke on you.

Then it hit you. He was talking to you like you weren’t just the religious girl with the crazy parents. He wasn’t weirded. He wasn’t judging you.

The last time someone came up to you, the whole town heard about it. Your parents tried getting them expelled from school for harassing you.

That was the last time anyone ever talked to you

“I know you know Wheezie,” he said, a little chuckle in his voice as he opened the door. “you can’t be all bad, right?”

Wheezie? then it clicked, the girl with glasses who could down 6 cherry milkshakes in a row, nice.

“Come on,” he said, the smile slipping from his face for a second, a real one this time. “Let me help you.”

You didn’t know if you were ready for help, but you were so damn tired. Tired of pretending everything was okay. Tired of running. Tired of fighting your own heart every damn day.

You took a deep breath and took up his offer.

He didn’t even look like the guy everyone made him out to be. Sure, he still had that wild, unpredictable look to him, but he wasn’t hostile. He just… asked if you needed help. Simple as that.

You didn’t know what else to say. You didn’t know where else to go.

He didn’t press you with questions. He just turned on the engine, his eyes flicking over you like he was checking to see if you were really serious about getting in.

"You're Wheezie's friend, right?" he asked as you climbed in.

You nodded, glancing at him, trying to gauge whether or not you were making a huge mistake. "Yeah... kind of, she’s always at the diner" you added, almost too quietly. You didn't want to give him the wrong impression, what 18 year old is freinds with a 13 year old?

He smiled just a little, but it was different from the smirks you’d seen on his face at school or around town. “That sounds like her” It wasn’t mean. It was soft

You can’t help but wonder what really happened in those seven years, what it was that changed him, but for now, you’re stuck here in the passenger seat of his truck, staring at his side profile as he drives.

Something about being around him feels oddly comforting, even though you know there’s so much you’ll never understand.

The ride was awkward, the kind of silence that felt thick enough to choke on. Rafe had the radio low, some song you didn’t recognize playing in the background.

You focused on the streetlights flashing by, the pavement blurring, but all you could think about was the tight knot of anxiety in your chest. You didn't belong in this car, in this moment. You should have been running in the other direction, but... for some reason, you weren’t scared. Not yet.

You had no idea where the hell you were going. That’s when he asked.

“So, do you have anywhere to go?”

You looked at your lap, clutching the bag tighter. You couldn’t tell him the truth, not completely. Not yet. "yeah" you said, your voice barely above a raspy whisper.

He didn’t say anything at first. But then you heard him exhale, like he was thinking it over. “Look, I don’t know what the fuck you’ve been through but….but you’re safe now,” he said, and his voice was surprisingly gentle, like he’d somehow sensed how scared you really were. “Ok?”

“Ok” You swallowed hard, trying to hold back the tears. He wasn’t wrong. You were scared, terrified even, but for the first time in forever, someone wasn’t judging you for it.

No one in your family ever told you you were safe, ever told you that everything would be okay. You sniffled, the tears threatening to spill over.

You didn't want to break down in front of him.

The car slowed to a stop, and you realized you were at a diner, the neon lights buzzing softly. Rafe looked over at you, almost like he was waiting for you to protest or make some excuse. You didn’t. You just followed him out of the car, not saying a word.

Inside, the place smelled like burgers, fries, and cigarettes. The warmth was a stark contrast to the cold night outside, and it made you feel a little safer, like you were stepping into something straight out of a movie. Rafe led you to a booth and slid into the seat across from you. For a second, you both just stared at the menu, neither of you speaking. You didn’t know if you were supposed to order, or if he would. But then he broke the silence.

"What do you want?" He didn’t sound like he was expecting an answer right away. Like he was just making sure you were okay.

You looked at the menu, but your mind was elsewhere. You didn’t care what you ate. You just... didn’t want him to feel like he had to do this.

Like he had to take care of you.

“Just fries and a water,” you said, you didn't even know why you said it. It wasn’t like you had much of an appetite.

He raised an eyebrow, but he didn’t comment on it. He called the waitress over and ordered for both of you. A burger, fries, and a milkshake. When she left, he turned to you, his gaze softer than you thought he’d ever let it be.

"How are you holding up?" His voice was quieter now, the edge gone. He wasn’t the Rafe Cameron you’d heard about, the one everyone warned you to stay away from. He seemed... almost normal, it was freaking you out.

You shrugged, suddenly feeling embarrassed. "I don't know," you muttered. "Just tired, I guess."

He nodded, leaning back in his seat, but you caught him glancing at you every few seconds like he was still trying to figure you out.

“What are you running from” he said bluntly, his stare showing no signs playfulness, just a full serious look

you looked away, your tears sticking with your mascara and glitter eyeshadow “Home”

“Been there” he nodded taking in your appearance in, how could such a pretty girl like you be so alone and lost?

The food came quickly, and Rafe pushed the plate with the burger and fries toward you. "Eat," he said simply. “I’m not going to let you go hungry.”

You picked at the fries, not feeling hungry but not wanting to make him feel like you didn’t appreciate it. The milkshake was so cold and thick, and when you took a sip, you felt a small sense of comfort settle in. It wasn’t much, but it was something.

As you ate, Rafe kept glancing at you, almost like he was waiting for you to crack. When you sniffled again, wiping your nose with the back of your sleeve, he frowned. "I already told you, you don’t have to be scared," he said, his voice dropping a little. “You’re safe here. I’m not gonna let anything happen to you.”

It was a strange thing for him to say, considering who he was. But in that moment, you believed him. You really did.

When you finished the milkshake and most of the burger, you felt a little more alive again, but the weight of everything of your family, of the lies, of everything that had pushed you to this point, was still there.

And you still had nowhere to go.

you just had a sparkly sack and a dream.

Rafe didn’t say much after that, just leaned back in his seat, and let you gather your thoughts. But when the waitress came by to take your plates, you stood up, and swung the creaky glass door open feeling that familiar unease creep back in.

"I’ll just go to the docks, the ferry leaves at 6am," you said, Turing around to see rafe as he followed right behind. You were going to take the ferry to the mainland, with the little money you had left. You weren’t sure where you were going from there, but it was something.

Rafe’s expression turned serious, almost annoyed. “No,” he said flatly.

“what?”

“I’m not letting you go to the docks. It’s dangerous, and I doubt you even have enough money to get anywh-.”

“You can’t fix everything!” you snapped, feeling all the frustration you’d been holding back suddenly spill out. "You can’t. fix. everything"

Rafe’s jaw tightened. “Maybe I can’t fix everything,” he said, his voice firm. “But I can try to make sure you’re okay. I can’t just let you go off like that.”

You glared at him. “You don’t even know me. Why do you care?”

For a moment, he didn’t answer. He just looked at you like he was weighing something in his mind. Then he exhaled, running a hand through his buzzed head. “I know enough.”

You stared at him, unsure what to say. Your whole world was falling apart, and yet, here was this guy, this person you should’ve never trusted, according to everyone you knew

but then again why does it matter what everyone says? if you’re going by that logic then you would be at the bottom of the barrel.

“You want to runaway right?” he said, voice steady. “I have a place, it’s 5 hours away, that far enough for you?”

“Do you even know how old I am!? Hello, I could turn you in right now for being a weirdo” you asked with sass, anything to get him off of your case

“ ‘sticky’s’ won’t hire under 18.” He said nonchalantly rolling his eyes, “unless you lied or where getting paid under the table? Then I could turn you and your employer in”

You didn’t know if it was the exhaustion in his voice, but something in you cracked. “i didn’t lie, I’m 18” you said your voice trembling slightly. “I’ll go with you. But no funny business, I will jump out of the freaking car” you said crossing your arms

“Whatever you say, sugar”

Was this a good idea? Probably not. You’re parents would ironically raise hell over this town once they found out their precious daughter had run off with Rafe fucking Cameron

© 𝐅𝐀𝐖𝐍𝐇𝐀𝐑𝐓, 𝟐𝟎𝟐𝟓

[hhmnya]

AN INDIRECT KISS ㅤ 𓈒 𓈒 ㅤ 🦷

【 take five anthology 】 fem ! rㅤ ◦ ㅤ 658wc fluff heeseung pov ㅤ──ㅤ w not proofread.

from anna. repost :3

heeseung watches as you bow, apologizing to the director once again for not being able to complete the scene properly. he feels bad; obviously you were feeling the pressure, your perfectly-styled hair now a mess due to the aggressive bowing.

the stylist is definitely going to scold you later.

he tilts his head—you look better with messy hair, you don’t suit the put-together style of the character you’re playing. obviously you look good in anything, you’re an attractive woman, but heeseung finds himself much more mesmerized when you’re in an unkempt state.

he’s pulled out of his thoughts when you walk over to him, a frown on your face. heeseung wants to ruin everyone who makes you upset—this thought is quickly pushed out of his forefront. he should definitely not be thinking about you like that.

“how do you do this?” you mumble, staring at the ground.

“do what?”

“this,” you half-heartedly gestures towards the cameras, “the bad takes. the bad days.”

he hums, “i don’t have bad days.”

that’s a lie; he’s had days as bad as the next person, but for some reason he wants to impress you. heeseung wants you to think that he’s the amazing, professional actor you seem to think that he is.

he lets out a quiet laugh when you roll your eyes, an annoyed groan leaving your mouth, “i’m serious.”

“okay, i’m sorry.” heeseung shifts, picking up his cup of coffee next to him, “here. caffeine helps sometimes.” he holds the cup out, staring at you expectantly, his eyes meeting your shocked ones.

“did you drink out of it?” heeseung blinks in surprise at your question—it definitely isn’t something that he thought you would be concerned about. he’s seen you take drinks out of water bottles from some of the other actors on set; people you weren’t even that close to compared to heeseung. then again, the two of you weren’t best friends, you hardly spoke outside of filming.

“i did. is that okay?”

you hurriedly nod, likely noticing the subtle look of confusion on heeseung’s face, “no–i mean, it’s fine. just, you know..”

you gesture vaguely once more, making heeseung wonder if that’s habit of yours. either that or you’re nervous right now—you look nervous. you aren’t meeting his eyes and you keeps glancing at heeseung, checking his expression.

he paints his face to be as neutral as possible, shrugging his shoulders, “no, i don’t know. what’s up?”

heeseung has some idea of what you’re worried about, if your nervous fidgeting is any clue to your feelings. you’re playing with your necklace—a habit that heeseung’s picked up on during the two months of filming that you’ve done together—eyes not meeting his.

“like,” you slumps your shoulders, biting your lip, “an indirect kiss. you know.”

heeseung’s eyebrow shoot up briefly before his expression changes to one of pure smugness, “oh?”

“okay, don’t make it weird.” you scold, suddenly snatching the coffee up out of his hand. you take a drink, making a show out of it, dramatically pushing it back into heeseung’s possession once you’re finished. “see. it’s not a big deal.”

“i didn’t say it was. you’re the one who brought it up.”

he can practically feel the heating radiating off of you, he’s half-worried you’re going to sweat off your stage makeup. that aside, he can’t help but think that your real flustered state is ten times better than when you’re acting. you’re an amazing actress, but he doesn’t think you could ever encapsulate this particular moment.

“i didn’t mean to. i just remembered what people call it.” you mumble, looking back down at you feet.

heeseung hums, nodding his head in understanding. he wants to tease you so badly, to ask why you thought about it in the first place and why you had decided to bring it up, but he holds himself back.

knocking his foot against yours, he responds, “sure, we’ll go with that for now.”

[cosyvelvetorchid]

@bucktommyfluffebruary Day 8: Surprise

Another of my prompts from last year that fit.

*****

Rated T | 2,430 | tw: homophobic slur

Buck knew that Tommy loved a romcom. He liked lots of genres of movies, and all for different reasons. But romcoms he loved because of the fantasy of them. He’d told Buck once that growing up with a father like his, and then spending the majority of his adult years firmly tucked away in the closet, that he’d wholeheartedly believed that a true love or romance was not in his own future. That living vicariously through two people on screen, even if they were straight, was the closest thing he’d get to a happy ending.

He’d very much changed his mind since he’d met his Evan, but still Buck had been determined to give him all the romantic moments he’d missed out on over his life.

It started with surprising Tommy with a candle lit dinner ready when he came home from work.. Which ended with Buck being bent over the table as dessert. Not quite the emotional response he was going for, but hey who was he to say no to that!

Tommy mentioned once a book he loved as kid and Buck spent three weeks hunting down a first edition. He was certainly blown away by Bucks thoughtfulness and showed him immediately by getting on his knees. Again Buck was happy to oblige—he always was—but it still wasn’t the response he was truly hoping for.

He wanted to sweep Tommy entirely off his feet. Woo him to the point of breathlessness. Make him feel so unbelievably cherished and loved that he forgets out to speak.

And then the idea hit him.

Oddly, while watching Carrie.

“Man, the worst thing that happened at our senior prom was Mikey Jacobs spiking the punch. I still can’t drink Jack Daniels” Buck reminisced.

“Better than pigs blood, babe. Or, you know, the revenge by telekinesis.”

“True. What about you? What was yours like?”

Tommy sighed. “I, uh, didn’t go to mine.”

“Really?” Buck looked at him in surprise. “I mean granted you were secretly gay, but I know the girls would have been killing each other to get the Tommy Kinard to take them to prom.” The idea seemed to bring such joy to his Evans face that Tommy almost didn’t want to admit the reality.

“I appreciate the support, babe, but I wasn’t exactly drowning in dates with girls.” He laughed “I was 6’2” by the time I was 15 but I didn’t know how to build muscle or even eat right for my body’s needs. I went from 5’8” and over weight to 6’2” and skinny, which my dad just loved to point out constantly. I was super insecure and had zero confidence to ask a a girl out.” A look of sadness flickered across his face.

“Did people not go stag at your school?”

Tommy huffed a cold laugh. “Only fags and virgins go stag to a prom, Thomas.” He mimicked his father’s voice. Buck gently rubbed Tommys arm.

“I’m sorry you had to hear shit like that from your dad. You deserved so much better than that.”

“I know that now and mostly because of you.” He pressed a chaste kiss to Bucks lips and smiled.

“Good.” He smiled back, already formulating his next plan to woo the shit out of his boyfriend.

This one took a few weeks of planning but Buck was certain it would knock Tommys socks off.

****

Tommy was surprised that Lucy had suddenly turned up at Harbour on what was supposed to be her day off. Even more surprised when she offered, nay insisted that she take Tommys remaining 24 hours of his 48 hours shift.

In the end their Captain had to practically shove him out of the harbour doors to get him out. He eventually relented and left for home.

Approaching their front door he noticed a note in handwriting so bad it had to be Bucks. God did he love him but the man’s penmanship looked like a doctor’s. A drunk doctor’s. Wearing a plaster cast. Thankfully after almost a year together he’d learned how to decipher Evans scribbles.

“Go straight upstairs.

Shower and get dressed..”

“Huh?”

“Don’t “huh” me, Kinard. Just do it. Then meet me in the dining room.

P.s: love you, Your Evan.”

Tommy chuckled to himself but did as he was asked and walked straight up the stairs to their bedroom. He was surprised, and confused, to see his tux freshly pressed and laid out on their bed.

After showering and dressing he made his way back down found himself knocking on his own dining room door for permission to enter.

“Come in.” Evans voice called from inside.

Tommy opened the door his mouth and eyes opened wide at what he saw.

The table had been pushed to the side wall, with a black cloth draped over the top, atop of which was a punch bowl filled with an orangey pink liquid. Surrounding it was lots of bowls filled with candy and chips and other kids favourite snacks.

A shiny disco ball hung from the ceiling with paper decorations swinging from the Center of the room and up to the corners. Twinkling lights hung all around giving the room a gorgeous warm glow.

And standing in the centre of the dining room, under the disco ball, in a tux that fit him so incredibly perfectly was the most beautiful man Tommy had ever seen.

“What’s.. what’s going on?” Tommy asked not being able to hide his smile.

Evan took a few steps toward him and held out his hand. “Thomas Kinard. Will you go to prom with me?” Every time Tommy thinks he can’t fall in love with Evan any more, he’s proven wrong.

For the next two hours they do nothing but dance like idiots, drink spiked punch (tequila instead of Jack Daniel’s this time - buck would actually like to remember this prom), and snack on junk food.

Tommy couldn’t remember the last time he had let loose like this. Or even smiled this hard. Evan was by far the greatest joy to ever come into his life. He reminded Tommy of what fun was, what joy was and what it felt like to be truly unashamedly himself - something that nobody had ever made him felt safe enough to truly be.

Buck knew he’d achieved his task of sweeping Tommy off his feet tonight already, but there was one more thing he decided, last minute, that he was going to do.

Buck picked up his phone and searched for the perfect song, settling on Songbird by Eva Cassidy because it was on the soundtrack to Tommy’s favourite movie Love, Actually. He didn’t even need to do anything because as soon as the opening bars played through the speaker Tommy instantly knew what it was and pulled Buck into a slow dance.

They swayed slowly and silently for a few moments just breathing in the perfect moment with each other with Tommys arms wrapped around Bucks waist and Bucks arms around his neck.

“So, not that I’m complaining, babe, what with all the romancing lately?” Tommy asked.

“You deserve it.” Was Bucks simply reply. Tommy looked at him with a mixture of adoration with a hint of confusion. “You go out of your way to show me how much you love me and to do all these sweet and romantic things for me, but you deserve them too. You deserve to be shown how much you mean to me also.” Tommy was looking at him with those eyes again - the big bright ones Buck first saw right before he kissed him for the first time - and he had to use every bit of strength to hold back from jumping him, because he needed to say this before his courage disappeared.

“I see how you look at these little moments in the romcoms you love and I hate that you never got to experience them, so I wanted you to have some of them of your own. Our own. Plus, I thought it would be the perfect opportunity to tell you just how much I love you. To tell you how unbelievably happy I am that you walked, well, flew into my life. To tell you that I have never in all of my life thought that I deserved to have someone so beautiful and kind and wonderful and just fucking incredible as you. And.. and to ask you to marry me.”

Tommy blinked. Did he hear that correctly?

“Wh-what?”

“I know, it’s- we’ve not even been together a full year yet, and full disclosure I didn’t even know I was going to ask until, like, 10 minutes ago, so I don’t even have a ring, and-“ Tommy grabbed Buck either side of his neck and pressed his lips firmly against his. When Tommy pulled back his cheeks were wet with tears cascading over his beautiful lower lashes. Finally, Buck thought, though he kept that to himself.

“Hold that thought.” He said simply before quickly leaving the room. He took 2 steps at a time as he hurtled upstairs, before running back down seconds later back to Buck still stood in the center of the dining room.

He lifted up his palm on top of which was a dark blue velvet box, opened, with 2 tarnished silver bands of differing sizes, each with a shiny silver strip running around the centre of each of them.

“You bought.. how long have you..” Buck could barely get the words out. His eyes kept flicking between Tommys beautiful face and the rings in his hand.

“About a month. Well, I ordered them custom made about 2 months ago but I’ve had them for a month.”

“Custom?” Was all Buck could get out.

Tommy pointed to the shiny part of the rings. “A couple of years ago I had this rescue and the husband of the woman we were life flighting was telling us about how they met. Anyway, he said that his family had this tradition of putting something sentimental in the band to give to your partner as.. sort of as a piece of you. You know that piece of metal that sits on my desk in the study?”

“Y-yeah. It’s part of the blade from the first chopper you flew when you transferred to harbour.”

“Right. Well, it now has a little chunk missing.” He laughed. “Transferring to the 217 was the first piece of me finally becoming who I always wanted to be. You’re the last piece, Evan.”

Buck had this whole night planned—minus is own spontaneous proposal—and had wanted Tommy to be the feeling pleasantly surprised and loved.. yet here he was himself being loved so fucking beautifully it was taking everything within him to not break apart right there.

“What’s-what’s in your ring?” He asked.

“Well, that was.. a little trickier. And full disclosure on my part— Maddie knows because I had to enlist her help.”

“Okay..”

“It’s difficult to pick something when your boyfriend loves so many things,” he teased “and then Maddie.. she gave me a little silver bracelet that she was given as a kid and-“

Buck inhaled a breath when he realised what bracelet Tommy was referring to. Immediately his whole chin began to quiver and tears filled his eyes.

“The one that Daniel gave to her.”

“Yeah.” Tommy said softly. “She told me how he’d seen it one day when he was with your grandparents when he was 6 or something and insisted he give to her for her birthday.” Buck nodded, not being able to find words. “She said that this would be something that would be special to you because you never got to know him. Is-is that okay?”

Buck looked from the ring back to up Tommy; eyes completely blurred from tears pouring out of him.

“I.. this..” He could always find peace in Tommy eyes but this was all so- it was overwhelming and.. he took a deep breath to try and calm himself.

“Tommy, this whole night was-was supposed to be about you.. a-and showing you just how much to mean to me and then..” he blew out another breath trying to center himself “and then here you are with the most beautiful fucking gesture, I.. I can’t..” The tears flowed once again and this time he threw his arms around Tommys neck and held on tight. Tommy, as he always did, reciprocated and held him tightly back.

“I love you so fucking much.” He cried into Tommys neck. Tommys own tears were flowing too, now.

“God I love you, too, Evan. More than I could ever even show you.”

“I don’t know-“ Buck pulled back with a laugh “I think you hit it out of the ball park with this one.” He gently thumbed Tommys tears from his cheeks. He looked closer at the rings.

“Are there inscriptions?”

“Only on yours.” Tommy replied, sniffing.

“For my Evan. Always.” Buck read out loud. Tommy wiped away Bucks next tears that came. They were the only type of tears he ever wanted to illicit from his Evan.

“I thought you would what to decide what to inscribe on my ring.”

“Can I put it on you now?” Tommy asked.

“Uh, technically I should be putting yours on you because I asked first. Actually, you haven’t actually said yes by the way..”

Tommy reached up an gently fixed a curlon Bucks head and looked at him with those big earnest eyes again.

“Yes.”

Buck took his ring out of the box and slid it onto Tommy finger, then Tommy did the same with Bucks ring.

Buck gripped the lapels of Tommys tux and pulled him into a kiss. They both sighed into it. It wasn’t a kiss that they’d shared before; this one was full of promise, of hope, a future - the rest of their lives as husbands.

Tommy pulled back for a second “By the way, I did promise Maddie that the second we became engaged that we would face time her. Where’s your phone?”

“She can wait a little bit.” Buck replied aiming his lips at Tommys neck.

“You sure? She might be mad.” Buck lifted up and looked Tommy in the eyes.

“Tommy, there’s only one thing I want to do right now and it absolutely does not involve my sister.”

“She can wait a little bit.” Tommy repeated wrapping his arms around his Evans neck and pulling him in for another deep kiss.

[kimoralov3]

click cute - 16

<- previous next -> | masterlist

your suitcase rolls behind you as you step into the air bnb, taking in your surroundings. being friends with sarah definitely had it’s perks.

“y/n, you’re here!” you hear a voice call from the top of the stairs. you remove your glasses with a smile, bracing yourself as sarah runs up and hugs you.

“sarah! oh my god, you look so good! fresh highlights?” you ask as you pull away, taking in your friend’s new look.

“of course. you know i had to look good for vacation.” she says as she does a little shoulder shimmy. you snort at that. she was really something else. “how was your flight? sorry i couldn’t go with you, i had to get here early to make sure everything was all good.”

“girl, you flew us first class. even if i did have complaints, you would not be hearing anything from me.” you say as you loop your arms together. she throws her head back in laughter, bumping her hip with yours.

“glad you enjoyed it. only the best for my girls.” she says teasingly before turning her head towards the stairs. “john b! come down here really quick!”

the sound of quick footsteps follow sarah’s call, along with the visual of a brown haired boy taking the steps two at a time. “oh hey, you must be y/n.” he says as he holds his arm out for a handshake.

“yeah, i am! it’s nice to meet the guy sarah won’t shut up about.” you say, causing sarah to playfully elbow you in the side. john b laughs at that, pulling sarah closer to him and slinging an arm around her shoulders.

“all good things, i’d hope.” he says as he presses a kiss to her head. as much as you hated to admit it in an attempt of solidarity with lex, the two of them were cute together. really cute together. 

“so, is anyone else here? or are we the first ones?” you ask as you grab hold of your suitcase once more.

“oh no, jess and jj are upstairs ‘blessing’ their room.” sarah says with barely contained laughter. you make a face of disgust, a hand coming up to your chest.

“ew, gross. please tell me my room isn’t right next to theirs?” you ask with a laugh.

sarah quickly shakes her head. “oh no, i could never do that to you. me, john b, and lex’s room is right next to theirs.” she explains. oh, thank god. you could not handle sleeping next to an overly “touchy” couple and— wait a minute.

“wait, you guys are sharing with lex? why?” you ask as you look between the two of them. god, let’s put those facial muscles to use to hide your shock at how bad of an idea this was.

“there’s only four rooms. we figured jess and jj would need their own rooms, and pope and rafe can’t share for some reason—” sarah starts.

“rafe complains about pope staying up all night to play his games, pope complains about rafe waking up at ungodly hours to do his in room workout routines or whatever.” john b intercepts as he scratches his eyebrow. there was definitely a story there. 

“so i’m rooming with pope?” you ask for clarification. judging by the look on sarah’s face, that was not quite the case. 

“no, actually. you’re uh, you’re rooming with rafe.” she says, looking anywhere but your eyes.

this was fine. it wasn’t a big deal. the two of you had made up or whatever, so you weren’t really mad at him anymore. but there was that whole thing about you possibly hearing him call you cute, so it was still awkward, as some people would say.

“that’s fine!” you say, pretending not to notice how high your voice had gotten. you clear your throat before speaking again. “so, does that mean pope is rooming with cleo and aubs?”

“oh, yeah. there really wasn’t anywhere else to put him. plus you know how aubs is, she goes to sleep pretty late anyways.” sarah says. she had a point; you had woken up to one too many 2 am text messages from aubree about any and everything that was on her mind. 

“well good luck to pope.” you say with a chuckle, ignoring that pesky feeling in the pit of your stomach. you were overreacting, really. it wouldn’t be that bad, or awkward, or weird or whatever to room with rafe.

right?

taglist: @arkofblake @ivysprophecy @murdockcastleslut @lmaowhatt @fruitcakerafe @ayy1234567 @freyawhitexxx1 @my-name-is-baby @baocean @yesshewrites1 @gxuxhdjdu @cyberkitty1 @hypnotizedstarkey @eddxemxnson @amterasuu @bee-43 @dreamybabbyy @hello-therree @marleymarleymarleymarley @sabrina-carpenter-stan-account @starsval @cali-888 @chalametlover444 @uarmyhopeworldwide

[ysabelyaps]

Warning: honestly, just bad writing. I’m sick rn but I’m bored so

Summary: Sae-Byeok experiences new feelings with her roommate and decided to confront them. (Or something like that)

A/N: This is so bad I’m sorry, I’m sick, but I’m bored, but I’m sleepy, but I wanted to get it done, but like yk. I’ll probably redo it eventually..

Part: 2/2

⇠✧❀✧⇢

“I like you.”

“Huh?.. I like you too? What are you on about Sae-Byeok?” Maybe talking about this at this time wasn’t the best idea.

“[name], I like you romantically. I think.. this is new for me.. but..” she pauses, “I want to experience it with you, no one else.”

Oh wow. Okay, way to be bold? Your face heats up, you can feel the heat. You can feel it radiating off of your skin. Is it hot in here? Maybe it’s because of Sae-Byeok, it was definitely because of Sae-Byeok.

“..okay. Well, uhm. I like you too, uhm…”

Here you guys were again, staring at each other. Awkwardly. You fiddled with your fingers, but she was staring at you. Straight into your eyes. Like she was trying to pull a string of words out of you. What string of words you may ask? You probably know.

“So uh.. Sae-Byeok.. will you uhm.. will you be my girlfriend?..”

You know it would happen eventually, but the words actually leaving your mouth. You felt as if you would faint right there.

“..” she pauses, “yeah. Yeah I’ll be your girlfriend.”

…

So now what? This was awkward. Why does it always have to be awkward? Can’t it be normal for once? Maybe that’s just how it is when you put two people who are bad at socializing together. One has always been too much for others, and the other was too intimidating. Their experience with people put together is still not very much at all.

“It’s late, can I sleep with you?” Sae-Byeok’s warm voice fills the silent room. Sharing a bed with her didn’t seem terrible. But by that does she mean like.. are we going to cuddle? Or just lay awkwardly.. or..

Eventually you nodded, praying that she would make it obvious what she was trying to do or what she wanted. Unfortunately, that didn’t go to plan.

You guys laid on the bed, arms by your sides. Stiff and awkward, until eventually Sae-Byeok awkwardly wrapped her arms around you. Still stiffly though, somehow.

“Sae-Byeok relax. You’re really stiff, just breathe it’s okay.” Maybe listen to yourself for once? It’s fine, you guys have known each other for a while. You have mutual feelings. It’s fine, just.. breathe in and out. Relax and enjoy the moment. You in her arms, her warm embrace. Just let yourself relax.

You did eventually fall asleep, before Sae-Byeok. The room was silent, the only noise being your soft breathing. Sae-Byeok looked down at you, your head resting against her chest. She started playing with your hair a little. She knew she wasn’t going to fall asleep any time soon. She couldn’t. Not when she loved this moment so much. She wanted to stay in it forever.

It was nice and peaceful.. she really liked it. You looked so pretty in her eyes, the way your lips slightly parted in your sleep, your calm expression. The way you fit in her arms, and as she played with your hair she became more and more aware of how soft and silky your hair was. And it smelled nice.

After a few moments, she brushed your hair out of your face. Before she pulled out her phone.

Click

You weren’t the only one who liked to take pictures of pretty things.

⇠✧❀✧⇢

[biibini]

GIRL. can you do some Modern Mizu headcanons when shes on her period??? I JUST WANT TO HUG HER😭💔

grumpy girlfriend ⋆⭒˚｡⋆

modern!mizu headcanons on her period

tags: fluff, taigen being an ass, sweet mizu, snuggle bug modern mizu, mood swings, competitive mizu bc taigen wont shut up, cuddling, taigen hunger games fan confirmed???

a/n: im suffering on mine while starting my quarter and my teachers alreadyyyy be pmo!! cant wait for s2 to come already (and so will i).

modern!mizu would have light periods

with the exception of the second day.

ive stated this in my reader gets periods hc post BUT

just bc theyre light doesn’t mean she’s off the hook

all she rlly needs to buy is the pink ones (iykyk)

basically she needs the thin ones most of the time

(idk what the colors are outside the US sorry international readers)

however…

modern!mizu ‘s second day: hell. on. earth.

if she’s raising hell in the show, she’s going thru that hell in this modern!AU

the worst lower back pains when she wakes up

i fear her stomach will do a whole somersault and multiple olympic level flips throughout the second day

the amount of fatigue hits her one day and then is completely manageable afterwards

and yes she will bitch and moan ab this when she wakes up

You feel Mizu stir awake beside you, her eyebrows furrowing into the pillow.

“Good morning”, you whisper close to her ear, gently kissing down from her cheek to her neck.

“Mmfm… morning…”, Mizu groans, stretching awake, her eyes fluttering open to a brand new day.

You look up to meet her eyes as the morning sun peaked through the curtains.

“You feel okay?”

She shook her head no, grumbling about sleeping in more. She attempts to stretch her back. However, you find her face twist into discomfort and fatigue, groaning once again from the shooting pains in her back.

“Fucking hell”, she mumbles, “I’m going to kill my back.”

“I think that would kill you first.”, you answer back. “I’ll go get tea and aspirin for you, wait here.”

modern!mizu’s mood is usually stable, except that calm she tries to maintain slips away on her period

she gets more competitive than irritated on her bad days

taigen pisses her off a little bit A LOT MORE more than usual

one time he wanted to play a match of archery against mizu

mind you, both of them had little to no experience with a bow and arrow

taigen thought it would be fun for shits and giggle because he saw katniss everdeen do it and thought she was sick asf

yes hes watched the whole hunger games series bc he whole heartedly believes he can win the 74th games… i’d love to see him try to survive too.

(anyways side lore over)

and guess who ends up getting wrapped up in it… our girl mizu

“Taigen, for the last time, I’m not playing make believe Hunger Games with you.”, Mizu grumbled, continuing to solve her homework.

“It’s not make believe, it’s archery. Just because it was in Hunger Games doesn’t mean its not real.”, Taigen claimed. “Can you get that through your thick skull or do I have to stick an arrow in your head first?”

Mizu’s head lifted up, her eyes squinting in annoyance. In her head, an imaginary arrow struck him at the very moment.

“You think you’re so good at everything, huh.”, Mizu scoffs, placing down her pencil.

“I just know you’ll be an easy target.”, Taigen declares, his face smug with confidence.

Mizu challenges him. “And I know you’ll be an even easier one.”

they both end up bothering akemi, begging her to borrow her bows and arrows for this competition

of course, she complies with one request: allowing an audience (you, her, and ringo) to watch and fairly judge each one’s skills

all judged fairly, with taigen as the winner by one point ahead

and mizu demanding a rematch

to this day, she’s still bitter ab that competition

modern!mizu enjoys getting a little special treatment from time to time

yes she does spoil you quite a lot with her actions

but small things such as prepping the snacks before binge watching or making the tea for her or letting her be a small spoon when cuddling warms her heart

acts of service warms her heart

“Nooo, don’t leave yet.”, Mizu grudges, playfully pulling at your arm as you escape her grasp.

“Then you’re not getting your tea.”, you jest.

You walk to the counter, pouring the hot water into your mugs. Coming back to the couch with herbal teas in hand, you smile and hand one to Mizu first.

“See, I’m back. And I have a surprise for you too.”

You come close to Mizu, planting a soft, gentle kiss on her lips. Mizu, now delighted by the tea, thanks you with another sweet kiss, grinning from ear to ear.

when it’s only you and modern!mizu, she becomes a snuggle bug

when you’re watching a show or before falling asleep, she will steathily and silently find herself much closer to you

sneaking an arm around you

and find yourself wrapped up in her arms while she enjoys the labors of her fruit

(sorry i don’t make the rules i just follow them)

she lovessss to wrap her arms around you at night and be a big spoon so she can hug you all night

or be a little spoon with your palms facing her lower stomach, totally not providing her with a makeshift heating pad

You wake up in the middle of the night, finding Mizu on her side, her arms away from you reaching out to the darkness. You shift over, wrapping her closer to yours with gentle pull. A small hum erupts from the sleeping Mizu, as her arm reaches behind, lazily tugging your arm.

“Yes?”, you ask, wondering what her next move was.

She drops your arm over her stomach. A tug pulls your wrist under her baggy shirt, your palm making contact with her lower stomach. You hear a delighted sigh, as Mizu let go of your wrist.

You patiently waited what would follow this move. But all you felt was the slight rise and fall of her breath.

In the morning, you question if she recalled what she did.

“Hey baby?”

“Yeah?”

You looked up at her.

“Did you ever wake up in the middle of the night?”

Mizu shook her head no.

“Did something happen?”, she asked, slightly concerned.

“No, not really.”, you lied.

The cuddling was cute already. Her doing it unknowingly? Even cuter.

“I just thought I heard something.”

“Ok schizo.”, she teased, smiling before taking another sip of her morning tea.

“Hey!”

if you thought she was competitive on her own, ohhhh goodness her mood swings make her more merciless

modern!mizu would get irritated over the littlest things, especially if they build up throughout the day and there’s no time to release that pent up energy

you end up with a grumpy mizu

the best remedy for this? telling her she’ll get surprise if she does something for you

it takes her mind off of her worries/complaints from the day

and even if the surprise was a big ol’ hug and loving kisses, it would relieve some of the stress mizu was holding onto

“Welcome back.”, you greet her, giving her a peck on the cheek. “Thank you for getting the ingredients.”

Mizu placed the grocery bags on the counter.

“So what was my surprise?”, she questioned, curious of what’s to come.

“Just this.”, you answer, wrapping your arms around her neck, pulling her close for a loving kiss.

As you pull away, you see her eyes light up, a much different set than her annoyed, gloomy self before going on a grocery trip. Her arms wrap around your waist, pulling you close once again.

“Just that?”, she says, mimicking the sweetness in your voice before going in for another kiss.

“Besides dinner, it would also be a few more kisses.”

You answer, smiling before going in for another.

“I like the sound of that.”

[maitanii]

unfortunate encounter. inui seishu. 2k

It wasn’t his day. It wasn’t his week either—or his month (or even his year). Not that Inui was particularly prone to complaining, but he was pretty sure someone had cursed him.

First of all, there was missing money—a lot of money—from the store’s register. And, of course, the discrepancy had happened during his shift. Which meant that the irresponsible idiot who worked the early morning shift had done whatever they wanted with the payments and, worse still, Inui hadn’t even noticed.

Reason number two: the stupid shirt. Chifuyu had convinced everyone to wear matching shirts for Takemichi’s bachelor party. Seishu’s first reaction was to throw the shirt on the ground and stomp on it, but Draken gave him two choices: either wear the shirt, or Draken would put it on him himself.

And now here he was, with relentless raindrops falling on his head, the pink shirt with Takemichi’s face on it completely soaked, his bike parked on the side of the road, a scratched car in front of him, and a girl crying over the steering wheel.

Shit, shit, shit.

He’d love to pin the blame on the girl, but she had done everything right. It was him who, in his hurry, had forgotten to check his brakes and ended up crashing into her car. Once he recovered from the initial impact, he’d tried to apologize, but the girl had already started crying and was unable to form a coherent sentence. Which meant he’d have to be the one to explain everything to the officers.

Taking the cigarette from his lips, he pressed his phone harder against his ear, hoping the police would pick up faster. He was supposed to be at the restaurant in an hour, and he still had ten minutes of highway left to go. Not a chance he’d make it. Stupid day and his stupid luck. He was never going to ignore Naoto’s advice about warding off bad luck ever again.

“Hello. Yes.” He kept providing the officer on the line with the location details. “Twenty minutes? Shit. Yes, officer. Understood.”

Shoving the phone into his pocket, he barely resisted the urge to smash it against the asphalt. His white Converse crushed the remains of his cigarette under the sole. Inui ran his hands through his hair, slicking it back. He hated the rainy season.

As if the sky could sense his rising heart rate, the rain decided to come down harder. Two minutes into wondering whether his life was even worth it, he figured that if he killed himself on the spot, Draken would bring him back to life just to beat him up. So, reluctantly, he made his way over to the car, where the girl he’d crashed into still had her head resting against the steering wheel.

He knocked on the car door twice. On the second knock, the girl lifted her head sluggishly and turned to look at him. If it hadn’t been for the terrible situation they were in, he might’ve laughed at the red mark on her forehead from leaning on the same spot for too long. But he wasn’t in the mood for jokes, nor did he want to deal with her tears. When she rolled the window down slightly, Inui took it as his cue to speak.

“I know you probably don’t feel like talking. And as hard as it is to believe, neither do I. But I can’t fill out the damn accident report if I die of hypothermia out here. Would you be so kind as to let me into the car?”

The girl stared at him for a few seconds, wiping her tears with the back of her hand. Hugging her bag tightly to her chest, she unlocked the door and gestured toward the passenger seat. Inui didn’t hesitate to climb in.

The inside of the Volkswagen smelled faintly of a strawberry air freshener on its last legs.

After two minutes of silence, the girl straightened up and opened her mouth to speak at the same time Inui did.

“Look, I’m sorry. I was going too fast, and since this road is usually so empty, I got overconfident. I’m really sorry.”

“You’re bleeding.”

They both turned their heads to look at each other. The girl swallowed hard when she caught her reflection in Inui’s green eyes.

“Oh, blood.” Seishu reached for his left leg and confirmed that there was, indeed, a nasty-looking wound. “Great. Just great.”

“Let me see it.”

“Nah, don’t worry about it. Are you okay?” When the girl nodded, Inui felt somewhat relieved. Not to be heartless, but as long as she wasn’t physically hurt, it was one less thing to deal with. Turning his head, he glanced at his bike through the window. He’d left his helmet on the ground, and now it was acting as a makeshift bucket, collecting rainwater.

“Let me see your leg,” the girl repeated, her voice snapping him out of his thoughts. “Please.”

“Seriously, it’s nothing. I’ve had friends hit me harder than this. Don’t sweat it.”

“I’m a nurse.”

“Thanks for sharing. I’m a mechanic.”

For the first time since the accident happened, the tension in the air eased, and a soft laugh escaped the girl’s lips. Inui breathed a sigh of relief.

“Well, mechanic, at the very least, can you do me a favor and roll up your pant leg?”

Inui raised an eyebrow keeping the poker face. “Roll up my pant leg? Wow, I admit I have nice legs, but we’re moving pretty fast there. Should I light a candle first?”

Her eyes widened in horror. “What? No! That’s not what I meant!” She frantically waved her hands, her cheeks turning a deep crimson. “There’s mud on the path where we crashed! I don’t want dirt getting into the wound—just roll it up a bit so I can clean it!”

“Ah, got it.” Inui nodded with an exaggeratedly serious expression, but the smirk tugging at the corner of his lips betrayed him. “No candles, then. Noted.”

Seishu took his time rolling up the fabric, his movements slow and deliberate. He’d understood her perfectly from the start, but he couldn’t resist teasing her a little. Force of habit.

The young woman glanced at the wound out of the corner of her eye. It didn’t look too bad, but it would still need to be cleaned and disinfected. She sighed, feeling her eyes begin to well up with tears again. What a perfect day for her period to show up. Just as she was about to bury her arms on the steering wheel, she heard the guy next to her clear his throat.

“If you’re going to cry again, at least give me a heads-up. I think it’d be more awkward if I watch.”

“You’re such a charmer, you know that?”

“I get that a lot,” he replied.

She scoffed but couldn’t stop a faint smile from slipping through. Shaking her head, she looked down at her lap, her hands clasped tightly together. “This is a disaster. I’m supposed to be at work in 10 minutes.”

“One of my best friends is getting married in two days. Today’s his bachelor party,” he said, leaning back against the headrest. “Trust me, I’m very aware of the disaster. But hey, at least I’m not dead, and neither are you. That’s gotta count for something, right?”

The young woman shot him a look, squinting slightly. “Is that your way of comforting people?”

“I thought I mentioned I’m a mechanic, not a therapist,” Inui retorted with a sarcastic smile. “Besides, the last time I tried to comfort someone, I ended up getting punched in the face. Not really my thing.”

She couldn’t help but chuckle, and for a moment, the tension between them seemed to ease. “Well, mechanic, maybe you should stick to what you know.”

“Thanks for the advice, nurse,” he quipped, raising an eyebrow. Then, leaning forward, he gestured exaggeratedly toward his leg. “So, are you going to take care of this wound, or would you rather keep crying while we debate who’s having the worse day?”

The woman sighed and turned to face him, finally making up her mind. “Fine, but first, I’ll need something to clean it with. And don’t even think about handing me a used tissue or something worse, because I swear I’ll leave you bleeding.”

“Don’t worry,” he replied with a half-smile. “I’ve got an emergency kit on the bike. At least I did something right today.”

“A miracle” She muttered under her breath, watching as Inui reached out for the door handle. “What are you doing?”

“Getting the first-aid kit,” he said, already pushing the door open.

“Wait! You’re just going to—” Her protest was drowned out by the sound of the rain hitting harder as he stepped out into the downpour.

He didn’t bother hurrying; he was already soaked from earlier. His shirt clung awkwardly to his frame as he crouched by the bike, opening one of the side compartments. After rummaging for a moment, he pulled out a small, well-used first-aid kit. He didn’t even bother trying to keep it dry as he trudged back toward the car.

Sliding back into the passenger seat with a squelch, he tossed the kit onto the center console and brushed his damp hair out of his face.

“Here,” he said simply, flicking open the latch and pulling out some antiseptic wipes and gauze.

She frowned at the mess he was making. “Great, now my car smells like wet dog. You couldn’t just let me grab it?”

“It’s my bike,” he replied, handing her the supplies. “I’d rather not add ‘letting a stranger mess with my stuff’ to today’s list of mistakes.”

She rolled her eyes but didn’t argue, snatching the wipes from his hand. “Fine. But stay still unless you want this to hurt more than it already does.”

He leaned back against the seat, a small smirk tugging at his lips. “I’ll try my best, Nurse.”

She worked quickly, cleaning the wound with firm but precise movements. He hissed when the antiseptic hit, but to his credit, he didn’t pull away. When she finished wrapping the gauze, she leaned back with a satisfied nod.

“There,” she said, tossing the used wipes into the small trash bag hanging from the dashboard. “Try not to mess it up before the police get here.”

“No promises,” he said with a lopsided grin, flexing his leg experimentally.

“Good,” she muttered, leaning back in her seat. “Now what?”

“Now,” he said, glancing out at the rain as it hammered down on the windshield, “we wait.”

The tension in the car had eased slightly, leaving only the rhythmic sound of the rain filling the silence.

“Do you mind if I turn the radio on?” she asked.

“Not at all” Inui started to get comfortable in the seat and let his forehead fall against the glass of the window.

The radio crackled to life, filling the car with a soft, cheesy love song. Inui snorted. “Great. Mood music.”

The girl rolled her eyes, adjusting the volume. “Would you rather sit in awkward silence?”

He shrugged. “I was kind of enjoying the dramatic tension, to be honest.”

She let out a small laugh, finally seeming to relax. “You’re impossible.”

Another stretch of silence passed, the rain drumming steadily against the windshield. Then, she shifted slightly in her seat.

“I never got your name,” she said.

He considered ignoring the question—keeping things strictly in the “unfortunate strangers” category. But at this point, what was the harm? He’d already bled in her car. That felt like a first-name basis situation.

“Inui Seishu” he finally said.

She gave a slow nod, lips twitching. “Well, Inui Seishu, I hope you know you owe me a car wash after all this.”

He turned his head to look at her, raising an eyebrow. “Oh yeah? And I hope you know you owe me therapy bills for emotional distress.”

“Yeah, yeah,” she waved a hand dismissively. “Add it to your bad luck tab.”

He huffed out a laugh, shaking his head. “That tab’s already maxed out, sweetheart.”

She grinned, leaning back into her seat as the song on the radio switched to something equally sappy.

[onlymiasu]

Nagi And Bachira fighting over you

ummm hi this is my first fanfic of blue lock about bachira and nagi fighting over y/n hope you enjoy!!

“Y/n! Let’s hang out! We can practice those passes we worked on!” Bachira grinned.

“Oh, sure! That sounds fun—”

Before she could finish her sentence, a hand gently grabbed her arm.

“No, she’s busy,” Nagi interrupted, tugging her toward the couch where his phone and controller were already set up.

“H-Hey! Wait a second!” Kayden blinked, confused as Nagi guided her away without a word.

“Oi, Nagi! What the heck?! I asked her first!” Bachira shouted, trying to pull her back.

“She’s playing with me,” Nagi replied lazily, his blank expression unchanging as he handed Y/n the spare controller.

Y/n frowned, sitting reluctantly beside Nagi. “Wait, what’s going on here?

“I just wanted to hang out with you!” Bachira pouted.

“Too late,” Nagi said bluntly, starting the game.

“Sei! You can’t just steal me away like that!” Y/n scolded, crossing her arms.

“Yeah, Sei! That’s cheating!” Bachira added, glaring.

“Cheating’s easier than arguing,” Nagi muttered with a shrug, his focus glued to the screen.

“Unbelievable…” Y/n sighed. She turned to Bachira with an apologetic look. “Sorry, Meguru! I’ll hang out with you later, okay?”

Bachira frowned but nodded reluctantly. “Fine… but next time, I’m calling dibs first!” He sulked his way out of the lounge.

Once they were alone, Y/n turned to Nagi, annoyed. “Seiii… Don’t’cha feel a little bad for Bachira?”

“No.” Nagi replied immediately, not looking up from the screen.

Y/n looked at him blankly. “What? How could you not feel the slightest remorse for him?”

“He should’ve known I was gonna play video games with you,” Nagi said as though it was the most obvious thing in the world.

“How was he supposed to know that….”

“Dunno,” Nagi said with a shrug, his fingers tapping lazily on his phone. “Too much of a hassle to think about.”

Y/n sighed in exasperation, crossing her arms. “Sei, I know you want to hang out with me, but it’s not good to be selfish!” She poked his cheek.

Nagi froze for a second at her touch but quickly recovered. “I just want you close to me,” he said casually, his tone as blank as ever.

“H-Huh?” Y/n stared at him, her cheeks flushing slightly. “Sei, are you jealous?”

“Mm,” Nagi hummed nonchalantly, his expression unreadable.

Y/n opened her mouth to say something but stopped when Nagi continued playing as if nothing had happened.

“Oi, don’t ignore me after saying something like that!” she scolded, shaking his shoulder.

“Shh. You’re gonna make me lose,” Nagi muttered, his focus entirely on the game.

Y/n sighed, slumping back into her seat. “You’re unbelievable…”

“Mm,” Nagi mumbled again, a faint smirk tugging at his lips.

Y/n couldn’t help but smile a little, her heart fluttering at his unexpected honesty. Maybe this lazy genius wasn’t so bad after all.

[bellsluck]

☆ about me ☆

hii, i’m bells!

thought it was about time i made an introduction.

i’m 21, a capricorn sun, leo moon, cancer rising (astrology freak), my ethnicity is a little complicated but i’ll put it as half british and half portuguese. i can speak english and portuguese fluently and have a half-decent grasp of spanish. i’ve lived in the uk for most of my life. sexuality: no labels.

i’d say i’m new to tumblr as this is the first time in my life i’m actually using it regularly, i think I’ve got the hang of it now. i feel so at home on here and i love having new mutuals hehe. feel free to message about literally anything (save me from the “singles in your area looking for-” dms, i beg).

☆ interests ☆

i love writing and reading, fanfic, music and film, generally just immersing myself in other worlds tbh. kisses to pinterest, ao3 and wattpad. tumblr now too i guess.

seemingly never ending harry potter obsession. marauders era, hogwarts legacy era, etc. slytherin girly. i was part of hptok at its peak in like 2020/2021, my page was basically dedicated to it. it was so much fun.

also star wars, specifically the hayden christensen trilogy, but i love the ogs too and i thinkmy favourite spin-offs are the mandalorian and obi-wan kenobi. if i ever get married it will be at lake como, idc how many times it's been done. i was at one of the filming locations last summer (theed palace) and almost crying like a little biatch.

i like video games too (mostly play on switch), but i’m very picky when it comes to finding ones i actually like, then I will rack up hours on it like there's no tomorrow… we love hyperfixation over here. love love love stardew valley, animal crossing and games along those lines but atm i’ve been doing my rounds on the resident evil games (re2 og, re4 remake, re6, down bad for leon kennedy) and also hogwarts legacy, i’ve finished most of it, i just have to complete my field guide now (desperately want to replay for the sebastian quests, also the new mod stuff is so cool!).

music wise, i listen to lots of different stuff, constantly go through phases, but for my all timers, aka can quote their discography from start to finish, i’d probably say lana del rey, radiohead, the weeknd and nirvana. recently it’s been lots of david bowie, queen, beabadoobee, portishead, fleetwood mac, the beatles… i could go on.

always open to recommendations for songs, playlists, films, series, games, books, fanfics, or anything, i love it all.

☆ onto the topic of shifting... ☆

i am happy to announce i am free from the shackles of “shift-tok”. if yk, yk. 

i’ll take this as a chance to ask nicely for any antis to please, please, not interact from here on out. thank you.

so, i initially found out about shifting on hptok 2020 (huge surprise ik) and so obviously i wanted to go to hogwarts. like??

needless to say i got caught up in all the tiktok misinformation, blatant lies, complicated asf methods, self explanatory. sorry younger-me. i could explain more but all in all i was too impatient and clueless, didn't really know what i was doing at all, eventually got bored, busy with school, and assumed everyone was lying (a few were, it seems).

 i completely forgot about it all after that until i came across a shifting post on reddit a few weeks ago. my tiktok fyp started filling with shifting/manifestation videos too right after. i was coincidentally in between a rewatch of the harry potter films at this point too. you know where this is going. i started seeing tiktoks from smaller creators just answering people’s questions about shifting, and it was all so different from all the stuff i’d heard years ago, spoken about in a completely different way, which just made so much sense to me and was so intriguing. i decided to delve into it all once again. it was those same creators who also would mention tumblr, and i, who had just joined tumblr for writing related stuff not long ago, decided to start searching up things related to shifting.

 i eventually came across some great accounts and information, stories of experiences, motivation, help. i started reading “journeys out of the body” by robert monroe too, so interesting, btw, and have since began my own shifting/exploring consciousness journey (i try to be careful what words i use for things, for lots of reasons, and i understand everyone might use different terms, reminder that i haven’t been on here for that long). it’s been amazing so far. 

(i may have straight up searched shifting realities on google the other day. curiosity got the best of me. it was bad. don’t do it.)

to not mislead anyone, no, i haven’t actually had a full experience in my specific “dr” yet. however it’s only been a small amount of time and i’ve already had lots of different types of sensations and experiences that i’ve never had before and it’s all so beautiful and interesting to me. i definitely view things a lot differently than i did before. i have shiftblr to thank for it.

i adore finding new shifter blogs and reading everything on them, so if i’m giving stalker behaviour it just means i’m loving your stuff or you're all over my feed. 

idk what i’m even going to post about yet, if or when i do. maybe i’ll write a bit into my “journey” so far, any experiences or how and what i do to get into certain states, about my dr, or stuff i’m just nerdy about in general. 

fyi just because i write does not mean i will always use any grammatical skills at all when writing for blog. sorry ;)

if you ever have any questions i’ll love you forever i will answer as best as i can.

this wasn’t all that exciting but i just wanted a little intro because i’m always blank on my socials. 

 thanks for reading !!

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[formulanni]

Daniel Ricciardo as Judgement:

The Judgement tarot card symbolizes the arrival of absolution and the culmination of a significant undertaking, often related to past and life lessons.

Judgement indicates the cusp of rebirth.

In order to achieve that, you must look back upon your deeds and come to an honest evaluation of yourself. This leads to the awakening that signals a new way of life.

Tag list: @st-leclerc @rubywingsracing @saviour-of-lord @three-days-time @the-wall-is-my-goal @albonoooo @ch3rubd0lls

[javierduffy]

After they've been together for a while and Kieran's come out of his shell a bit (esp around the rest of the gang) for some reason I can imagine him just being like. Very forward. Not outright flirty but he loves Javier SO MUCH he's practically vibrating with it. It's spilling from his mouth every time he talks w/ him. Not right out of the gate, though. He starts with small comments in the morning. A compliment here, a cheesy line there. But by the end of the day if you listen closely you can hear an increasing amount of stutters from Javirr's guitar and Kieran knows he's got him when he looks away he's so flustered and the whole time Kieran's just blinking innocently and grinning like mad he's so in love UGH. If he does not kiss his bf breathless within the next 10 seconds he WILL explode

NOOO I AGREE COMPLETELYYYYY YOU GET ME YOU UNDERSTAND !!! kieran, as shy (if you want to call keeping your mouth shut to spare yourself the trouble of getting shot in the head “shy”) and awkward as he is, speaks his mind and is willing to be quite verbal about what he’s thinking ! i listened to his ambient voice lines the other day and he really is very vocal when he doesn’t feel that being the alternative would jeopardize his wellbeing, and i think the reason people don’t notice is because when he’s challenged, he’s often willing to fold on his perspective, mostly just to preserve his own safety because of his audience. i mean, he literally FORCED the vdl’s to take him in, and he often bows up at arthur and will challenge/confront him (because he’s most familiar with him). plus, he’s very openly complimentary towards mary-beth, even as early as horse-shoe. kieran duffy has little to no problems with speaking if you really listen !

so absolutely yes he does say what’s on his mind even and especially when it comes to javier. hell, i believe that kieran complimented him even before they got together, before javier even liked him (or acted like it, at least). he’s just a lover at heart ! i think that would be one of the reasons that javier becomes less hostile towards kieran to begin with- because kieran is so gentle with everyone, and initially, javier is always shocked when he isn’t the exception, even when he generally avoids him or even treats him outright poorly. kieran’s gentility isn’t a survival skill, it’s an innate part of who he is. so even before he’s especially comfortable with javier, on rare occasion, kieran would say a “you look nice today, mister !” or a “you’ve got that knife looking mighty spiffy, would love something like that for myself some day.” before he can really even think about it. it always pissed javier off, of course, because ‘that stupid pretty, sweet, charming, handsome bastard of an o’driscoll has no right to even look at him, nonetheless like him or anything he does ! and it certainly didn’t feel good to hear him say it !’.

but when they get together, kieran’s compliments change- not only because javi now knows that he means them from a full homo place, but because kieran is now able to say things that have been on his mind for months. when they’re away from camp, kieran swoons and fawns and waxes poetry as best his awkward and mildly educated self can. i really believe that it takes him no time at all (i say this, i mean a month or so) to work up to jumping into sharing his adoration when they’re alone, because when javier finally chose him back, kieran got his permission to love him, and he’d been waiting on that for ages. kieran duffy has been starving for love for all 23 years of his life, and he’s got such a craving for it that it makes him the best cook in the world because then every crumb matters. being a lover with no one to love has left kieran with a keenly honed sense of adoration- a natural skill he has sharpened to a perfect point in all of his quiet isolation. javier practically drowns in it once he’s exposed to the full capacity of it. you’re absolutely right that it isn’t too long before kieran has javier wrapped perfectly, lovingly, obediently around his finger. when kieran sits politely on the bedroll next to his beautiful musician as he plays for his usual crowd of outlaws, when he peers over at him through long brunette lashes, when javier can feel his gaze on his fingers as they pluck the strings (and some rare nights, javier knows exactly what kinds of thoughts are in kieran’s mind, which only flusters him further. especially when kieran feigns innocence if ever accused of lust, all the way up until they’re alone, in which he’s quite happy to share imagery from his vivid imagination.). usually, though, kieran wants nothing more out of it than to let javier know just how much he adores him, how pretty he thinks he is, how perfect his voice is, how every little thing about him drives kieran crazy- and it’s out of lack of recent exposure that javier’s tolerance for it all is so low. that’s what he tells himself, anyway. kieran may not be a poet, but he’s sure honest, and sometimes, that hits harder than elegant prose.

i do so love the thought of a flustered javier, especially when he’s the one who is supposedly the “romantic” of the two. man can dish it out but he can’t take it </3 kieran sparingly shares touches with him throughout the day as well, placing a hand on the back of javier’s collar when he’s leaning over his shoulder to peer at whatever javier is intending to show him (a map for a small job he’s planning, an upgrade on his revolver or knife, the poison throwing knives he’s gingerly handling as he explains to kieran how to coat them evenly for a quicker kill), hooking a finger into the waistband of javier’s pants or his suspenders as they smoke alone early in the morning by the scout campfire, touches the tips of their boots together as they both work their separate chores of cleaning saddles and sharpening knives. kieran says i love you throughout the day in a million different ways. like you said, he’s practically vibrating with it. by the end of the day, after kieran’s shared with javi how his eyes look like the perfect cup of coffee in the sun, how he’s real purdy first thing in the morning, how he missed him the other day while he was out on a job, all the while burning holes into javier’s skin with every little touch he sneaks in when they’re on the same side of camp, javier is a puddle on the ground. he’s anxiously fiddling with his guitar before playing and missing notes when he does, desperately cleaning his boots and hat more to soothe his hot gut, and taking solo fishing trips to either verbally rant his feelings out loud in spanish or rub one out because kieran is driving him absolutely insane, and they’ve not been together quite long enough for javier to justify dragging him out of camp every single day to get some privacy and/or blow off some steam (in more ways than one, depending on the day).

the longer they’re together, the more brazen he gets, absolutely. placing a hand on javier’s shoulder while he sits next to him at the campfire with other gang members, tucking javi’s hair behind his ear when it’s down and they’re chatting late at night, saying “oh, i do love you.”, “yes, sweetheart?”, “javier, my dear-“ in front of some other gang members while they’re talking or addressing each other, and it simply turns javier’s brain off. to be bravely loved is such a privilege and it almost sends a shiver down his spine every time kieran does it. to kieran, it’s almost like he can’t even help it, doesn’t even really think about it too much after a while. sure, he’s anxious at first, especially with how javier will react since he’s essentially constantly around his tough-love family who will absolutely mock him for it if he lets them, but seeing javier get so flustered because of how little he expected kieran to be so bold, it’s addicting. immensely. plus, kieran knows javier may not come back to him every time he leaves camp, and he’s lost enough in his lifetime to regret not loving javier to his full capacity. it won’t get them hurt, so he’s happy to be brave, because he’ll know that if either of them die, they will die having loved and been loved at 100%. now, he doesn’t think too hard about any of that. really, kieran just can’t help but love javier- can’t help but want to tell him that he’s the most beautiful person he’d ever met, tell him how much he matters to him, tell him how special his heart is, show him how much he loves him, indelibly, intricately, with every fiber of his being. if i don’t kiss him breathless within the next 10 seconds, i will die. he thinks after a long day of small touches and meager compliments, after a long day of javier tripping over his boots and unsatisfactorily twanging his guitar strings once or twice that evening nonetheless. and he says “if i dont kiss you within the next ten seconds, i will die.” and javier pauses, freezes, shocked, trapped in green eyes as the scout campfire lazily licks dances of light and shadows across their wrinkles and scars and features. and javier says, “well then, come here. you are too young to die.” as his heart beats louder in his chest than it ever has in a gunfight.

umm i think i got off topic but yes :3 i agree :3 kieran can be quite forward, even canonically ! they’re both loverboys in their own ways and equally as hungry for the others’ taste (figuratively and literally). sorry for the yap sesh ! thank you so much for sharing your thoughts with me !!!!!!! i love thinking about them waygh ;__; i could talk about them all day

[nonsensechemicals]

covert npd is awesome and i want to live and i’m going to listen to song about pirates

[realcowboysdrinkjuice]

i’m so excited to see troy’s dad i listened to the rolled today and apparently it’s not what we expect so like is he gonna be like amazing or is he going to somehow be worse then troy like what happened im so excited