I had an overall good intake session today with a new therapist but towards the end she hit me with "I'm an empath, and it sounds like you are too, I can help you with that. tell me about what you sense from other people's energy. does it nourish or drain you" and things got a little awkward when I replied with "I am autistic and do not make eye contact and I am completely vibes blind. when I said I consider myself empathetic I just meant I get very sad when people tell me about horrible things they are going through and I imagine how hard that must be for them."
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orym and imogen are two bitches looking at each other going "exaaactly" about how if the gods are good or not doesn't fucking matter and i love that for them
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I can't remember if I've posted abt this before but regardless: I'm sorry but I really and truly cannot get behind the idea that there is any wide-scale societal "pressure for trans men to be feminine" or "to be twinks" or whatever. You are either conflating a very small online community's beauty standard (usually some kind of transmasc pseudo-appropriation of "femboy" aesthetics, which yes, are often Bad and regressive and fetishized and etc.) with Mainstream Society, or confusing society not wanting trans men to transition with "wanting trans men to be feminine", which are certainly not the same thing. Ultimately if a cis person believes there is any validity to the concept of being trans (i.e. not a Posie Parker-esque "there's no such thing as a trans person" type), they are more likely to think that trans men should be like as masc and buff and hairy as possible or whatever bc that's what cis people think men look like and it's easier for a lot of people to recognize someone who Looks Masc as a man. It is difficult sometimes to see derision of trans guys who are Too Feminine and Not Hairy Enough or whatever (which is not always something someone has control over btw) as anything but "this is Skye who I think is a confused little girl because Skye does not pass" slightly restyled for 2023 "filthcore fagdykes" or whatever lol
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ik i already joked abt how in tgcf modern aus the default seems to be white sweater xie lian but goddamn that shit really is ubiquitous. read a ff (fantastic btw) where 9/10 times xie lian’s appearance was described?? white sweater. home on a sunday? white sweater. work? white sweater. out to dinner? white sweater. going to the fucking club?? white sweater. every tgcf modern au HAS to be set in autumn/winter for the sake of xie lian’s cartoon character closet. pull up to the beach in 90 degree weather in that fuckass white sweater i would not be surprised
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Been thinking a lot about characters who don't have tragic/complicated/lore-filled Backstories cause I just finished Neverwhere and Richard is just like some guy. Neil never explains why he's special and he can see door, he just does.
Tolkien never explains why Gandalf chose Bilbo. I don't even think we ever find out what career Bilbo had before going on his journey. He has no Backstory at all.
Rose Tyler was just a totally normal girl. So was Arthur Dent. So was... Another example, sorry I'm tired, I already gave you four.
Look, I'm not saying elaborate/tragic/mythic Backstories are bad, my WIPs are chock full of them, I just think writblr sometimes acts like they're mandatory and they don't have to be.
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good evening, all. it is May the 25th. our lilacs are blooming, just as the ones at the Watch House did. and I am thinking about remembrance of the fallen, and GNU, and the love in commemoration.
y'know, I read Night Watch… oh, maybe a year ago and some months ago. and the lilac symbolism, the remembrance of the Watch, has always struck me with the depth of the emotion of it, the tangibility of it in the flowers. but I wasn't aware that today was the day until I saw commemorative posts, all that gorgeous artwork and more, on my dash.
I was also not aware, until now, that fans commemorated the day not only because of the book reference, but in support of Terry Pratchett and of those with Alzheimer's. which knocked me over a bit because of course, of course the group that would use GNU to honor him would do that. and… I've been thinking about GNU a lot, lately, and this caught me again.
I read Going Postal a bit ago, and reread it recently. both times, the parts about GNU made me tear up. this idea of the names, the memories, the lives of the clacks workers who dedicated themselves to ensuring that people heard each other's voices—all those names spoken again and again and again by that which they poured their souls into, winging along in the air as they could not, an eternal reminder that they were loved—how could that not touch a person's heart?
when I found out that fans online used it to memorialize him, I damn well cried. hell, I still tear up just thinking about it. do you know, there's a code for an HTTP header "X-Clacks-Overhead: GNU Terry Pratchett" written by Reddit users to put in webpages, where it goes unseen by the average user? and in 2015, when Netcraft took a survey, there were eighty-four thousand websites using it? it's eight years later—how many thousands upon thousands of websites have this now, do you think? how many little cables of light has his name flown along, now? how many times?
that alone is absurdly and unimaginably lovely in its own right, but… there's something else to it. there's something about remembering with the lilac sprigs every year, just as Vimes and those who were there remembered their dead. something about how, when we take up our lilac sprigs, we carry a little piece of the characters in our hearts, too. I kept trying to put my finger on why that makes me tear up the way it does. the conclusion I came to is this:
what greater way to honor a writer is there, but to honor them the way they did the characters they poured their heart and soul into? what better way to say we know you and you are not forgotten and your work and words and gifts to the world are held in our hearts forever than to remember them by their own words, their own vision? how else could we say you embodied all the good you believed in and wished to see in the world, but to memorialize them after the little pieces of their soul they wrapped in ink and put upon the page?
it is a knowing of the writer, to remember them in their way. it is not a worn-out faceless platitude, but a reminder that their work has been read and will continue to be, that the characters and world they loved enough to bring to life last just as their name does. such remembrance is warm and loving and delights in their memory even as it grieves.
and now Pratchett's name has been written in his tradition, over and over and over, across the vast plane of the Internet, where it will—with any luck—continue to fly for generations to come.
there is no way to truly express the beauty of that… but perhaps we can catch a glimpse of it in the lilacs, both ours and the Watch's.
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