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astrobolical · 1 year

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When the truth spills forth-

Content Warnings: Pining, Alhaitham’s version of fluff, Kaveh’s obliviousness, mentions of their history

I wasn't sure if I was gonna post character x character, but here we go. Why not?

I adore these two, especially Kaveh, and think they deserve the world. We all know they’re married even if they don’t know it (Alhaitham does, Kaveh might not).

Living with one’s heart on their sleeve, laying their emotions bare for the world to see, it was something incomprehensible to Alhaitham. What benefits could it bring? What could it do but bring you troubles and eventual pain? Yet Kaveh was exactly that, brilliant, bright yet incredibly transparent. Almost unbearably.

His eyes told the world his truth, no matter what he tried to hide. It was tiresome to witness, Alhaitham could only imagine it was exhausting to exist in such a state. Kaveh persevered, however, regardless of how haphazard that perseverance was. Every step he took forward held the danger of tumbling back down the rocks he’d dragged himself from. He’d come so far, yet it was clear how much he was truly trying to balance, and the impact it had on the architect.

Alhaitham knew that their situation was only contributing to Kaveh’s unfortunate circumstances, for reasons far beyond the scribe’s control. No matter what he said or did, Kaveh would see the world in a vastly different way than himself. Alhaitham, contrary to his roommate’s belief, was happy with their arrangement. It had become his norm, an expectation to come home to Kaveh fussing over some new decoration, hearing his chastising and endless complaints. As blunt as Alhaitham was in return, it was never out of malice.

He’d always cared about Kaveh, in his own way. Even in the past when they’d gone their separate ways— what he’d said had been the truth, spoken only to try to make Kaveh see reason, see how the way he was going would end in his detriment. Softened blows or flimsy words were not Alhaitham’s forte, he had always been brutally honest with Kaveh regardless of the consequences— perhaps more honest than he is with anybody else.

While he could walk away from the majority of people within Sumeru without a second thought, Kaveh was someone who held a value he couldn’t measure. To Alhaitham Kaveh was something to ground him, keep him thinking, and surprise him at every turn. Kaveh was everything Alhaitham was not, just as he was everything Kaveh was not. A balance that was uniquely them. Something that couldn’t be replaced, something that Alhaitham had no desire to lose, even if Kaveh was blind to it.

Just like when he’d spoken his truth all those years ago, Alhaitham had been there again for Kaveh when he was needed. Despite the distance between them, the unyielding silence that had persisted. Alhaitham’s home had become Kaveh’s, despite his senior’s protests. Though it had begun as a way to keep his senior’s head above the proverbial water, Alhaitham had quickly come to adjust to their situation. Faster than anyone in Sumeru would likely believe given his reputation.

The noises he would normally drown out were welcomed when they were Kaveh. His space being invaded was only okay when it was Kaveh.

It was simply because it was Kaveh.

But he knew that if he voiced this to the architect he’d freeze. His mind would go into overdrive, working to its breaking point and creating problems that didn’t exist. He’d find a way to blame himself for a misfortune he didn’t cause. He’d burn away internally until he couldn’t withstand it anymore, succumbing to his own negativity and self doubt, and he, inevitably, would flee the situation in a vain attempt to make the situation ‘better’.

So the scribe remained quiet about the way he felt, keeping his actions subtle, behind the scenes. He continued to chastise and speak bluntly with Kaveh as he always did-- just a tiny bit more forethought to his words so that he didn’t give Kaveh too much to think on.

In some ways, Kaveh was like a skittish desert fox. Eager, curious-- oddly adorable-- yet incredibly easy to frighten, startle or deter.

If it was anyone else, Alhaitham would have declared them not worth his time and efforts, left them behind to continue their lives without him… but this wasn’t anyone else.

So he lived, ignoring his growing affections, keeping the same distance that Kaveh seemed to need. When he’d find himself covering a sleeping Kaveh, passed out on his desk, with a blanket he resisted the urge to press a kiss to the top of his head, to indulge in the impulses he held deep down. Because if Kaveh knew, he feared that Kaveh would choose to leave.

So when he returned home and was greeted with the sight of boxes in the entryway Alhaitham’s first reaction was fear. His normally rational mind, ever-calm and logical gave way to the feelings deep in his chest-- surely Kaveh hadn’t found a place so suddenly? Why? Alhaitham grit his teeth, his jaw clenched as he made his way by the boxes, he could hear Kaveh deeper within the house and he made his way there without a moment’s hesitation.

Kaveh’s room was in disarray, furniture moved about and out of place, the architect standing in the middle going through drawers that hadn’t been opened in months. “Kaveh?” He questioned, leaning in the doorway. His expression gave away nothing of his internal turmoil, stoic and calm as always.

“Oh.” Kaveh looked up, almost sheepishly as he looked around at the mess. “I didn’t think you’d be home so soon. Don’t worry, this will be packed up soon and you’ll have your precious space back.” He spoke more calmly than Alhaitham anticipated, expecting a level of defensiveness over his actions-- Kaveh would never truly apologize to the scribe, nor would he bring himself to thank him for anything he does. “I’ll be out of your hair soon enough.”

“Why?”

The question left his lips with the same brashness as the day he’d destroyed their friendship, but Kaveh just looked at him, a confused expression settled on his face before he rolled his eyes. “Seriously? Come on, it's not like I need to explain myself here.”

His back turned he began to go through the drawer he’d been looking into again, ignoring Alhaitham’s stiffened form in the doorway. Alhaitham’s mind worked quickly, almost in a panic as he debated what to say. I think you do. You’re just going to leave like this? Can you even afford the place you’ve found long-term?

But he bit them all back, instead stepping forward and making his way through the room. He felt too warm, his heart racing against his chest. “Are you just going to stand there all evening?” Kaveh quipped, never turning to look at Alhaitham again-- perhaps if he had Alhaitham could have better controlled what he did next. Stopped his hands from reaching out, stopped his arms from encircling around Kaveh’s shoulders that rapidly stiffened. Stopped himself from pressing his forehead to the man’s hair. “What are you doing?!” Kaveh’s own hands found his forearms, confusedly pressing against the offending appendages that gently held him.

“Stay.” He breathed, feeling overwhelmed by his own movements, like the room was too warm, their bodies too close but yet not close enough. The truth he’d hidden for so long edging dangerously close to the ledge, teetering towards the dangerous abyss of making it known, letting it out into the world and risking it all coming crashing down. “Stay.” He repeated, for once unsure what else he could possibly say.

“Wha- What’s gotten into you all of a sudden?!” Kaveh was stiff in his arms, but his protests were light, clearly more perplexed than anything, not that Alhaitham could blame him. He, too, wasn’t sure what he was doing. “What do you mean ‘stay’?!” He grumbled.

“Don’t leave.”

“I got that! Don’t leave where, Alhaitham?” Kaveh’s voice was becoming higher in pitch, cracking in the middle of his sentence.

“Here. Don’t move.” Alhaitham didn’t dare to let go-- he’d trapped his skittish fox within his arms, and if he let go now he was sure he would flee to hide within the sands. “Don’t leave.”

There was a tense moment of silence between the two men before the architect finally wriggled free of the younger’s grasp, turning to face him before he realized how little space was truly between them. Instead he was face to face with a solemn looking Alhaitham, his back trapped against the dresser he’d been emptying.

His eyes were wide, his face as red as the fabric he wore and Alhaitham knew he didn’t want to go back to coming home to an empty house. He couldn’t return to a time before their tentative reconciliation.

Kaveh’s mouth opened, but no sound escaped, instead he closed it once again, eyes averting to look anywhere but his roommate. The silence was palpable, tension growing between them in a way they’d never experienced before. “Where did that even come from?” He finally muttered, bringing his arm up and shielding his blushing face with his hand, as if the red didn’t peek through, moving back towards his ears.

“I want you to stay here.” Alhaitham reiterated, despite the unknown situation, how little he’d thought this one through. How unlike him this was. “I know you feel like you’re a burden to me, but I want you here, Kaveh.”

“W-what the hell? Come on, Alhaitham quit joking around--”

“I’m not joking.” He closed the distance between them more, barely a breath apart, almost close enough for Kaveh to feel his racing heart. He reached towards the hand that covered his roommate’s face, pulling it away and looking him square in his ruby eyes. “Kaveh, you don’t need to leave. Please.”

“Alha--”

“Kaveh.” He interrupted, leaning down just enough so their noses touched. “I…”

All the days of silence, protecting Kaveh’s peace of mind in his own way. Withholding the truth that would send the architect running. Everything he’d held in came rushing forward as he was faced with the reality of Kaveh leaving. It was a reality he knew could happen, he’d expected it to come up now and then, but somehow with it being so real in front of him it was frightening. Every carefully hidden gesture, every snide remark covering a look of endearment, everything was coming undone in just a few moments.

Alhaitham knew there was no returning from this, no turning back from what he’d begun. He could only hope and pray that Kaveh could handle his truth. That his skittish fox would find a way to not blame himself for this somehow. To not hate himself. To accept the truth for what it was.

“I love you.”

Kaveh’s mouth was agape, eyes wider than before, breath coming out in ragged puffs as he undoubtedly fought down whatever panic was rising in his own chest. Sputters of attempted responses left his lips but formed no words. The distance between them was filled with nothing but silence and an inexplicable static-- like a spark waiting to ignite something further.

“You-” He whispered, voice failing once again. “You… you can’t be serious... Don’t make a joke of something like this, I thought you… that you’d be better than that!”

He moved to leave, to flee just as Alhaitham knew he would, but the scribe gripped his shoulders. “I’m not joking, Kaveh. I’m being serious.”

Watery red eyes met turquoise, as if searching for any hint of a lie from the man who was holding him. Yet from the expressions on his face Alhaitham knew that the reality of his words was beginning to settle in. “What the hell…” Kaveh murmured, looking away when he was seemingly satisfied. “That’s not fair at all…”

“Not fair?” Althaitham questioned, voice low, trying to keep himself calm, to retain a sense of logical reasoning, to keep himself steady in the revelation of what he’d just done.

“You always just say whatever you want, it’s not fair.” Kaveh huffed, pushing against his shoulders in a vain attempt to gain some space.

“Is there something you want to say to me…? Just say it.” Alhaitham dared not to let himself hope, he’d long since accepted that his feelings were one sided, that there was little to no chance to repair what he’d broken in the past, let alone further it. “Just say what you want to say.”

“It’s not fair!” Kaveh whimpered, biting his lip. “Even things like this you say so casually.” Kaveh stopped his pushing, instead Alhaitham was shocked as the blonde moved forward, resting his forehead on Alhaitham’s shoulder in defeat. “Even something I should have said first.”

Alhaitham hugged Kaveh close, long hair tickling his nose as he nuzzled his face as close as he could manage. Quickly discarding his headset when they hindered how close he could get. It felt like a dream, like he’d wake at any moment and find himself back to square one waiting for this day to come again where he’d face losing Kaveh. The only person he could bring himself to have this close, to invade his space, to hold.

They remained like that for a long, restless minute. Only the sounds of Kaveh’s hands gripping onto Alhaitham’s clothes, of his little whimpers as he let himself be overwhelmed with the situation. The thundering pulse of Alhaitham’s racing heart in his own ears.

“So… you’ll stay?” He questioned, barely willing to break the quiet atmosphere between them, the calm in the midst of whatever storm they’d begun.

At this Kaveh did push him back, abruptly and far more roughly than his initial attempts. Alhaitham could see the tear stains on his cheeks, how red his eyes had become and the watery shimmer of tears still threatening to fall. “I wasn’t leaving! You moron!” He hiccuped, gesturing wildly to the messy room. “I was going to put things in storage!”

Alhaitham blinked, slowly, as the words settled in his mind. “What about the boxes in the entryway?”

Kaveh glared at him as he wiped away his lingering tears, and Alhaitham felt relieved--it was still the Kaveh he knew, things hadn’t entirely blown up like he’d worried about. “They’re for you. God knows you could do some spring cleaning.”

Alhaitham nearly laughed, a breathy huff escaping him at the sheer audacity of the situation. “Ridiculous.” He muttered, ignoring the indignant retort Kaveh threw back his way in favour of bringing him back into his arms. “You’re ridiculous.”

“And yet you… love me.” Kaveh whispered, his nose just barely missing Alhaitham’s at their new proximity.

Alhaitham didn’t bother to answer vocally, simply staring with the same, bored gaze he always gave the architect. It earned him a smack to the shoulder and a huffy, embarrassed man in his arms. “...I… love you, too.”

Alhaitham was the one to breach the shallow distance between them, pressing a chaste kiss to Kaveh’s lips, enjoying the noise of surprise that graced his ears as he pulled away. Adoring the way that Kaveh chased the sensation. Alhaitham denied him the press of his lips, a smirk on his face. “Well, shall we do some ‘spring cleaning’ then?”

“You’re an ass.” Kaveh groaned, but didn’t protest-- if Alhiatham really was willing to help him with the daunting task of cleaning their home, he surely wasn’t going to argue the point.

They laxed back into a comfortable rhythm, if a little tense with that spark that remained between them. Perhaps remaining a little too close to one another, their skin brushing more than they ever would have allowed before.

Some things had surely begun to change, but Alhaitham felt relieved to know that his truth was shared with Kaveh, and that the two of them would work through whatever turmoil faced them in the future. Together.

#kavehtham #Alhaitham #Kaveh #kaveh x alhaitham #Kavetham #old married couple but young #pining #Genshin Impact #Sumeru #~Take Time to Relax #These two and Cynonari just kill my heart in the best way #fluff #kaveh is oblivious #alhaitham is too logical for him #haikaveh

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