#most of the time they are less than 10 years apart and the girl is at least 16/17 in most cases

[tokruta]

I HATE THIS I HATE THIS I HATE THIS

GET THAT 40 YEAR OLD MAN AWAY FROM THAT LITTLE GIRL SHE WAS 14 AAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

It was already so bad when the marriage registration said he was 37 and she was 15, it became worse somehow when I double checked with their birth registrations and it turns out he was 39 and she was 14.

He registered his intent to marry 2 months (2!!!!!!!!! 2 FUCKING MONTHS) after her 14th birthday. How long was this fucking creep around that baby? I just…

Ain’t no way anyone liked that man, right? How was this legally allowed? Was it because they lied about her age? 15 and 37 isn’t any better just because she’s “a woman” at 15 (one of the reasons I didn’t have a quince, I resented the idea that I was a woman ready for marriage at 15, even if it is just symbolic nowadays rather than literal)

Oh who am I kidding, I bet people were completely fine with him.

I just….

Why are there so many child brides? I’ve found too many.

That poor girl, I’m so fucking mad.

At least that fucking pedo died literally less than 6 months later, rest in fucking piss

...so, I left this post in my drafts to cool down. I continued on to the next siblings and I figured out how he knew her.

His youngest sister married the girl's father 2 years before he married his daughter. This man married his fucking step-niece! The sister was okay with her almost 40 year old brother marrying her fucking 14 year old step daughter! How old was she when they met? 11? 12? younger?

I hate this group of people. Hope my great*3 grandmother was against her brother's shit but who knows.

[bigification]

Prom King

"We want to welcome you back to Fairway High for your ten year reunion. Come catch up with some old friends and share all the amazing adventures you've had since you graduated! And stick around for a special speech from our Prom King and Queen."

Dan shuddered as he read the email. He had completely forgotten about the stupid reunion. It's funny, he thought, he used to imagine how he would show up to the reunion in a sports car with a perfect bod and high end clothes hugging his muscles. But that was back when he was the most popular football player in his town. Parents adored him, popular teens idoled him, and nerds feared him. Things have changed a lot for Dan since then.

He stared at his half naked body, ravaged by the bad habits of an ex jock. His appetite stayed after he graduated high school, but the exercise didn't last long. He went off to study business in college, as any high school jock did. His time spent at football practice turned to frat parties and junk food, which quickly showed on his waistline. It really put a dent in his once untouched ego, especially once people nicknamed him as 'freshman' fifty. It wasn't quite fifty pounds, at least not in his first year. It sure was well over that by the time he graduated though. And in that time, his clean shaven body had been buried in thick dark hair from head to toe. Although he didn't entirely mind the more mature look, especially once his beard grew in, it complemented his growing gut. Though Dan took another sizable cut to his ego when he started to go bald at the ripe age of 20. Comb overs only lasted him so long, so he started shaving it when he was in his senior year.

He always said it built character, which to be fair, he was far less awful after graduating college than he was in high school. The email only made him remember how awful he was back then. He was the typical jock with his possy of suck up football players who had no personality and the most popular girls. He would torment anyone who was even slightly chubby, or even just smart, they were all beneath him in his mind. How were people gonna react when he shows up to the reunion looking 9 months pregnant and about to burst. It horrified him at the thought of them treating him how he treated them.

Then the horrifying thought hit him, "I'm the Prom King!" He shouted out loud at him in the mirror. Not only would he have to show his face, and gut, he would have to stand on stage in front of his entire graduating year and say a speech about being Prom King. He would be a laughing stock.

"I have to do something about this." He thought.

The reunion was still two weeks away, he could workout, or diet, or maybe buy some clothes that hide his fat. He did a frantic search online but everything just seemed like a scam. He scrolled through page after page of scam supplement and intense workout regimen until he found something interesting. A witch who lived nearby. A witch who specializes in body modifications. It was drastic, but could be crazy enough to work.

Dan contacted the witch with a request to make him into an absolute jock, the kind of man his high school friends would expect him to be 10 years later.

After a bit of back and forth, an appointment was set, and Dan went to bed happy.

The day of the appointment came in a flash. Dan threw on his classic base ball cap to cover his balding head, and dressed in some gym clothes that he thought would look sick on his new hunky body. He excitedly hopped in his car and drove down to the witches house. To his surprise, it was just a regular apartment in a regular apartment building. He was expecting some evil looking house, but seemed less intimidating anyway. He knocked on the door, and he was met with yet another surprise. A petite and nice looking woman wearing all black opened the door.

"Come in darling." Her voice was enchanting. "Sit." She continued in a soft but commanding tone.

Dan sat in a small chair in front of an antique looking table. The raggedy wooden chair creaked under his weight as the witch sat across from him.

"So... You say you want a strong, manly, and attractive appearance?" She asked.

"Yeah."

"Well for what it's worth, you're much more attractive than you used to be." A cold breeze blew past Dan as she spoke.

"Oh... Thank you." His cheeks reddened at the comment.

"I do have to warn you, there are some... dangers to this spell." Her tone darkens.

Dan just raised his eyebrows.

"There are people who feed off of a witch's magic. Now I know how to avoid them, but I will be imbuing this magic into you. So you may have a target on your back from people trying to steal your magic."

"I'm sure I'll be fine."

"Just don't draw too much attention to yourself." The witch warned. "Anyway. I'll get on with it."

She dipped her hands in a small bowl that was laid on the table. "Stand up." She commanded, and Dan followed. She walked around to Dan's side of the table, fingers wet from whatever was in the bowl. She pressed her fingers into his forehead, and it felt like all the tension in his body vanished in a split second. In fact, all feeling seemed to vanish in Dan's body, leaving him stood exactly still. Something about being frozen should have scared him, but he felt a strange sense of calm in the moment.

The witches fingers traced down Dan's face, through his beard and over his soft man tits. She lifted the finger and firmly pressed it back down into his chest. It was like the air was pushed out of his chest as the fat on his moobs collapsed in on itself, leaving his chest completely flat. She then pulled her finger outward, and his pecs grew as she pulled. The muscle swelled until two juicy pecs pressed hard against his tang top. Dan was shocked, he couldn't believe it actually worked, although he still couldn't move.

The witch then traced her finger down to his gut. She laid the palm of her hand against it and pushed, causing his belly to vanish in a second. And once again, she pulled her hand back to form a defined six pack over his flat stomach. She moved her finger around his side, melting away his love handles and giving him a thin waist.

She then suddenly sped up, as if she hit her stride. Her hands gripped Dan's soft arms, and suddenly definition appeared on his rapidly growing biceps. They grew to the size of melons as his shoulders broadened to match. Good thing he wore a tang top or else his sleeves would be in shreds on the floor. Her hands slid down his forearms, doubling their size in the process, and she held his hands, making them so massive they could completely cover his face.

She then bent down and grabbed his thighs, causing them to thicken to the point that Dan couldn't separate them anymore. She thickened his calves as she moved to his feet, making them burst out of his shoes as they grew to a monstrous size 20. As she stood back up, Dan realized the witch stood at eye level to his pecs when they used to be the same height.

The witch then wrapped her arms around Dan's hulking body and cupped his ass cheeks, making them expand into two thick globes of fat that threatened to rip through his shorts. One hand then came back and gripped Dan's dick, making it grow and thicken until it was a massive 10 inches and hanging down his pant leg.

Finally, her hand lifted up to Dan's face, making a few adjustments to match his body. A thicker beard, a sharper jawline, a slightly bigger head to match his much bigger body, and thick brown hair on his head.

Dan gasped as he regained control of his body. He teetered back and forth as he tried to get used to his new body. His legs felt strong, holding up his immense muscle mass with ease. He even struggled to move his arms around at first because it was difficult to move that amount of mass. His meaty hands took a moment to explore his expansive body; bouncing his pecs and his ass, gripping his cock, and even rubbing through the short brown hair that now covered his head.

"How are ya feeling handsome?" The witch broke the silence.

"Are you kidding me, I feel amazing!" Dan flexed, as if to show off his body like a new toy.

"Well I'm glad you like it, now we should talk abou-" the witch was interrupted as Dan basically ran out the door.

"I'll be fine, thank you!" The sound of his voice got quieter as he shut the door behind him.

On his way home, Dan excitedly stopped by a retail store to grab some clothes that actually fit. He confidently strolled in with his tang top riding up his hairy six pack, and shorts that were clearly too small for him. He picked up a few clothes that were big enough to fit him, but small enough to leave little to the imagination about his physique. The clothes weren't exactly pretty, but nobody would care about the clothes when his hunky body was the one wearing them. He even flirted with the cashier on the way out, making his cheeks flush red.

He swiftly made it home and passed out like he had just had the workout of his life.

He woke up the next morning, feeling like he was still in a dream. He shot out of bed as if he'd had three cups of coffee already. This was how he spent every morning leading up to the reunion. Dan was more productive this week than he had been in years. His looks quickly got him a modest following on Instagram, and even on onlyfans after his followers pestered him enough. He reconnected with a bunch of his old friends from high school, just to build a rapport with them before the reunion. And he spent most nights partying and staying the night at some strangers house. By the time the reunion rolled around, it was as if he was the same person he was in high school. Hot, athletic, cocky as hell, and maybe just a bit nicer than he was back in high school. So much for 'building character'.

Before he knew it, it was time to leave for the reunion. He had been prepping for this all week, there was no way he could mess it up now. Dan was meant to be the Prom King. He wore a snug pair of jeans that hugged his ass perfectly, and a grey shirt that showed off his juicy pecs, and finally threw on the letter jacket he wore when he was Prom King ten years prior.

He pulled up to the reunion in his shitty, half broken down car and parked as far out of the way as possible just so no one could see the piece of shit he drove. He pushed open the door to the venue and walked past the crowd of people as if all eyes were on him, because they were. Everyone who was anyone knew who the Prom King was.

He strolled to the back of the stage, so he could get ready for his speech. He stood alone, in silence for a moment, trying to hype himself up. Even after the amazing week he has had, it was the same insecure fat ex jock under there who was scared that everyone would laugh at him onstage. But his moment of silence was interrupted when loud footsteps approached him from behind.

An older man strolls into the backstage, walking right past Dan as if he wasn't there. Dan grimaced as the man got close, seeing the man's large ball belly hanging out of his shirt, which seemed to have multiple buttons popped off. "What is this pig doing here?" Dan couldn't help but think of the old man. The old man promptly sat down in a chair near Dan, leaning back and pulling the shirt up his gut, as if to show it off.

"Who the fuck are you!?" Dan yelled as he got fed up with the old man's antics.

"Oh, you don't know who I am?" The man said as he continued to adjust himself in the seat.

"Why would I know some loser like you, are you the Prom Queens dad or something." Dan scoffed.

"I thought the witch would have warned you about me." The old man's demeanor became more serious.

Dan felt a jolt of fear run down his spine. How does he know about the witch?

"Oh I bet she did." The man started to laugh. "But all the attention online and the sex and the porn, oh the porn was so good." The man grunted as he rubbed his crotch. "You just couldn't resist being popular!"

Dan only grew more afraid as the man monologued.

"I am going to enjoy this." The old smiled as he got up from the chair.

"Enjoy what?" Dan questioned as he tried to back away, but couldn't. Why couldn't he back away. The old man grew closer and closer, but no matter how much Dan wanted to run, he remained frozen in place. The man placed his finger on Dan's forehead, causing a blue light to escape from his body and enter the man's body.

Dan watched helplessly as the man's arms grew to the size of melons, his biceps bursting through his sleeves. Meanwhile, all Dan could feel was his sleeves becoming looser as his arms deflated. The man's moobs shrunk into a solid pair of pecs as Dan looked down to see his chest swell until he was left with two soft man tits. The man's ball gut got smaller and smaller as fat piled into Dan's stomach, leaving him with a heavy gut that spilled under his shirt. The man's pants grew tighter and tighter as thick muscles filled his thighs and juicy fat perked up his ass. Dan felt weak as his legs became more fat than muscle, he even felt the bulge in his pants shrink as he watched a thick bulge appear in the man's pants.

As if that wasn't enough, Dan watched on in horror as the man's face ages down from 60 down to 30. His wrinkles melted away as Dans became dry and wrinkly, his face thinned out as Dan's became rounder and chubbier, and his hair gained a light brown colour as Dan's thinned out and became white. The man pulled off his shirt to reveal a forest of dark hairs sprouting all over his body as a bushy bread covered his face. Meanwhile Dan can feel his face go cold from the much thinner facial hair.

As the transformation came to an end, the man flexed as he felt the energy course through him.

Dan once again let out a gasp as he regained control of his body, though this time his voice was much deeper and gruffer. Dan panicked as he ran his hands through all of the new rolls of fat on his body. He even stumbled back as he adjusted to the weight of his gut.

"What did you do to me!?" Dan yelled.

"Oh you did this to yourself buddy, y'know how easy it was to find you." The man responded, sounding almost exactly like you used to.

"You made me fat." Dan's voice breaks.

"Oh I did so much more than that, check the camera in your phone old man." The man smiled, as if he was containing his excitement.

Dan dreadfully pulled out his phone and opened the camera app.

Dan shed a tear as he saw the fat old man staring back at him through his phone's camera. His gut was bursting out of his jacket and his hair was nearly as thin as it was before his initial transformation.

"And if you don't mind I'll be taking that." The man grabbed the letter jacket off of Dan and put it on himself.

The man confidently strutted towards the stage, ready to give his speech as Prom King, but Dan wasn't ready to give up that easily. His footsteps were heavy as he followed the man onstage and grabbed his arm.

"You're not gonna take this away from me!" Dan yelled.

This was followed by a moment of silence as the crowd went awkwardly quiet. Everyone's eyes were once again on Dan, but it didn't feel like before.

"Ooohhh, that was embarrassing old man." The old man whispered to Dan before approaching the mic. "I'm sorry everybody, my dad is just a bit jealous that I'm in my glory days and he's not." The man says to the entire venue, then turns to you once again. "Isn't that right, dad? " He said as he pressed his finger into Dan's chest.

Dan froze once again. This time, memories flooded into his brain. Memories of him growing old, never reaching the happiness and popularity he had in high school. He even had a son, and named him Dan jr. after himself of course. Though his son would grow to top him in all of his achievements, including becoming prom King back when he was in high school. Dan Sr. finally decided to swallow his pride and let his son have the spotlight. He slowly waddled off to the side and watched as his son gave his speech as Prom King.

[lunaxstrange]

Can we talk about love in orv?

[SPOILERS]

Okay so, I am aware that Kdj loves the "story" but I really wanna point some things out individually because it's 2am and ORV is on my mind.

Kdj had the easiest way out of the 1863rd turn. The most perfect turn (at the time) but he really went I'd let the world burn for Yjh? Yeah, everything is "part of his plan" but let's talk about the 73rd Demon King arc. My man would do anything to make sure Yjh finishes his story. Apart from this, it's the fact that while everyone else dislike any other version of Yjh (even he hates himself lol), Kdj loves every. single. one. I mean 3rd turn (1864th) Yjh? Yes. Hsy's 1863rd turn? Yes. Frickin' Secretive Plotter? Got off to a rough start but yes. You simply cannot make Kdj hate his beloved protagonist. I mean, this man risked his whole existence to make sure the 0th turn is actually the most perfect one. He didn't want Yjh to regress but became his sponsor anyway because it's what Yjh wanted. He would do anything to see Yjh happy. This type of love isn't romantic or platonic or anything else, it's the most inexplicable form of love. Love in its purest form. I'd like to take the time to compare it to Achilles and Patroclus because while we can fight over whether these two were gay or not, we cannot deny the sheer love they had for each other. No strings attached. Kdj is in awe of Yjh.

Yjh. The regressor. The protagonist. The person Kdj loves the most. Yjh had everything (0th turn) but he really gave it all up just to meet Kdj. Suffered the "Hell of eternity" just to see him. Bro didn't even love Lsw the way he loves Kdj. Tbf, 0th turn Yjh didn't know what the real struggle of passing the scenarios without help was but I'm sure he got the gist. Okay, sure, you can call it "curiosity" that led to Yjh keeping Kdj alive during the 3rd (1864th) turn. But my guy didn't choose Kdj to go to Peace Land because he had "someone he loved" like bro, YJH!? THE COLD REGRESSOR??? HE DID THAT FOR KIM DOKJA! Not to mention the fact that Yjh didn't even care that his whole life was a mere novel. He just despised the fact that Kdj chose the 1863rd turn over him. I'm gonna cry. Bro wanted Kdj so bad that he kept fighting the Secretive Plotter. Not only this, he gave up the 3rd (1864th) turn for Kdj too. Went from Supreme King to terrorist just to save Kdj. When everyone else - even Hsy - gave up. After all, what is a protagonist without a reader? The whole astronaut ordeal might've been to "find his purpose" but we can't ignore their connection. He gave up everything he could ever ask for twice (0th and 3rd/1864th turn) for Kdj. The attachment these two have with each other is insane.

I could go on about them for eternity but we have another person to talk about - Hsy. This woman spent 10 years exhausted, stuck in a world-line and body not her own for one person. Even if it's only Hsy with half her memories, she gave up her perfect world-line because she missed Kdj. Just like Kdj loves Yjh, Hsy also loves every version of Kdj. She wanted to meet him, no matter what the world-line. My girl had only a few hours where she was in control and decided to use off all those hours to write TWSA - a story she herself disliked. Hsy wants to see Kdj happy, every part of Hsy loves Kdj. There is nothing a writer could love more than an avid reader who loves their story. And let's talk about the fact that Yjh and Hsy absolutely hate each other. He is literally her creation (more or less) but their relationship is questionable. Why? Because a protagonist has no value without a reader. Kinda like Asuka Ren and Kyrgios Rodgraim. They have no special relationship despite being creator and creation. Since there is no reader, Asuka and Kyrgios are as distant as two people can be. Alternatively, what brings Hsy and Yjh together is Kdj.

I just can't get enough of the way ORV relationships are written. If I had to describe love as a writer, I'd cite ORV as an example.

[dunnerlars]

truth or dare - mat barzal

pairing: mat barzal x fem!reader summary: summers are your favorite, but what comes after summer? word count: 2.7k warnings: alcohol mention a/n: and we're pinch hitting! this is for the lovely @writingonleaves for the #the summer fic exchange 2k24 hosted by the absolute kick ass @wyattjohnston! cobbled this together the last couple of days so i hope it's okay!

—

You coveted summers.

Summers were the only time of the year that you got uninterrupted moments with your best friend. Every summer it felt like he became more and more busy, with less time to spend at home so, summer was what you looked forward to and the little time he did manage to carve out and visit.

You’d grown up living just a few streets down from where Mat did, tucked away in a sleepy suburb, moving to the area when you were 10. It’d been hard moving to a new country, even if Canada wasn’t all that far from the States, things were just different. Making new friends and trying to fit in had been overwhelming, most girls already forming their friend groups and shunning outsiders, but when you’d met the boy down the street just a couple of years younger than you, when he came by your house one hazy afternoon asking if you wanted to play street hockey, well- that’d been it.

Despite the small gap in age, you two were inseparable and his friends became yours and it made the move easier- settling in seem inevitable instead of never ending. When he left only a handful of years later for Seattle to play hockey, it felt like everything was falling apart again. The infrequent texts and calls, trying to keep in touch through things like Facebook or Snapchat, was rough. You were 17 and sure Seattle wasn’t all that far but it’s not like you could explain to your parents why you suddenly needed to cross the border to see your best friend who’d helped you keep everything together.

Eventually things got easier. Mat’s friends were still yours, but you made your own. Went off to University, made more friends, moved to Vancouver, and got a big girl job but still summers were spent at home. With Mat.

And so: summers. 

You didn’t actually get the whole summer off, normal jobs were like that, but you saved all of your vacation to make sure you were home for most of it. But, well- you'd quit your job just before the beginning of summer. And you were set to start the new one in early September so now the entire summer was yours.

There’s been something about this summer that’s felt different. Maybe it was the fact that you’ve been hiding something you’re nervous to share with the important people around you or that you were nearing a new decade in life soon, time changing, even if you felt like you were the same. Summer’s spent in the same childhood room with posters covering the wallpaper, fairy lights strung around the ceiling, polaroids tacked on your closet door full of memories and friends.

Mat had come home earlier than planned this summer, knocked out of the playoffs in the 1st round. You’d let him sulk for a week before you dragged him out into the sunshine with promises of ice cream and letting him beat you at tennis and then he’d left again- for Italy and weddings, relaxing far away from responsibilities and you. And then he was back. Back to soak up the last bits of summer before he flew across the country, and back to hockey.

—

It was one of the last days of summer and you were determined to make the most of it.

So, you packed a bag full of towels, sunscreen, books, and a million other ‘just in case’ items, and made the short trek over to Mat’s childhood home.

The front door was slow to open once you knocked, Mat appearing sleep rumpled and hungover.

“I thought you went home early last night,” you frown in greeting, pushing past him and into the house you were just as familiar with as your own.

“I did,” he groans, making his way to the kitchen and starting coffee, “Just tired. Are we really going to the beach this early?”

“It’s noon.”

Mat bangs his head against the cabinets at that and you snort, setting your bags down and hopping onto the counter next to him.

“You leave tomorrow. I leave next week. We don’t have to go, but I thought it would be nice. Everyone’s already down there. Charlotte’s made those sandwiches you like and Justin got you a whole case of only mango White Claws. And Hannah might kill me if we don’t show up and I’ll blame you.” You nudge his thigh with your foot, trying to get his attention as he watches the coffee pour. “Come on. Please.”

Once his gaze catches yours, he stares for a second and nods reluctantly. “Fine. Give me five?”

“Perfect. I’ll finish the coffee. You get dressed.”

You hop down as Mat shuffles out of the kitchen, doctoring his coffee into a to-go cup and putting the rest of the pot in a thermos you dig out of the back of the cabinet. 

As you tuck the milk back onto the shelf of the refrigerator, the sight of the photos littering the doors as you close them has you smiling. You’re in a handful of them, Mat tucked under your arm in a couple of them until he hit a growth spurt a couple of years later. One of you both playing street hockey the first year you’d moved to Coquitlam. Your favorite, though, is stuck under an Islanders magnet on the top corner from Mat’s draft day where he’s giving you a piggyback ride down the hallway of the hotel after a long day of shaking hands, phone calls, and endless press. 

Mat breaks the moment as he comes back to the kitchen, dressed in swim shorts and a long sleeve button down on, buttons completely undone leaving him bare chested. You have to take a deep breath, willing yourself not to say something stupid as he presses up behind you and hooks his chin over your shoulder. “Coffee good?” he asks, peering at the pictures on the fridge too. 

“Yep, uh huh.”

Leaning over you, Mat presses his finger to the picture of you both playing street hockey and taps it with an airy laugh. “Who knew, huh?”

You barely manage to swallow and nod before he’s peeling himself away and grabbing the thermos and to-go cup of coffee, tucking them into his own bag and waiting. 

“I don’t know what you’re waiting for, you’re driving. Let’s go.”

—

The drive to the beach is a short 20 minutes, Mat filling the time with his obnoxious singing. Normally it was something you’d give him shit about, but you were thankful he didn’t notice anything off about the lack of ribbing he wasn’t getting, lost in your own thoughts. 

Since you were both late, it was easy to spot everyone down near the shoreline set up near a haphazard volleyball net. Cheers of your names were mixed as you both approached the group, like they hadn’t seen you both in years, not hours since you’d all gone out last night too. 

Mat’s quick to pop open one of his mango White Claws once you reach everyone and you roll your eyes, setting up your towel and undressing down to your swimsuit. You were determined to make the most of the sun, knowing you weren’t going to see it too often soon. Hannah, one of your best friends who you’d met in college, lays out next to you and pulls out her book. 

“Are you excited for the move next week?” She asks curiously, turning to face you.

Hannah was the only one who knew your news, confiding in her when you’d gotten the job offer a couple of months ago. 

“I think so? I’m still so nervous and being so far away from everyone,” you sigh, “But it’s not like I won’t have anyone. And I still haven’t told Mat.”

Hannah’s expression turns funny and you realize why when Mat plops down near you both, “Haven’t told Mat what?” he wonders.

You scramble, looking around and catching Charlotte playing cornhole with Jordan and remember, “Charlotte forgot the sandwiches. She texted me on the drive over. Sorry.”

Groaning, Mat dramatically lays down and feigns upset. “Can’t believe you lied to me. What kind of best friend are you? Have the last 20 years meant nothing?”

“I still can’t believe you two have been friends for that long. I can’t remember the last time I could stand someone longer than a couple hours,” Hannah chimes in and you pinch her thigh with a scowl.

“Best 20 years of my life,” Mat says proudly and you glance up at him through your sunglasses, catching the grin spread wide across his face. 

“Okay ya big sap,” you tease.

The afternoon wears on. You finally finish the book you’re reading and switch with Hannah, reapplying sunscreen and choosing to drink water over alcohol. Mat never strays too far from you, choosing to lay out and play on his phone while you read or fetch new water bottles as yours deplete. It’s sweet and Hannah makes sure to make a big deal of it when he leaves, poking you in the side with a sly grin. 

Eventually you need to cool off and sure enough, Mat’s right behind you and volunteering you both for a game of chicken. It’s best out of 3 and you lose in the last round, Mat losing his footing and you both topple into the water, giggling. You can’t remember the last time you felt so carefree, at ease and not wanting or wishing for anything else. There’s no hurry for either of you to get out, so you both float around, chatting nonsense until Mat catches your ankle as you float past him.

“So,” he starts, and suddenly you know it’s kind of serious. “I know Charlotte brought the sandwiches, the jig is up. What uh- what haven’t you told me? If you don’t wanna tell me that’s fine, I just. Is it something bad? Should I be worried?”

You let yourself fall out of your floating position, trying to find footing in the bottom of the lake but come up empty, not realizing you’re so far out you can’t touch the bottom. Mat’s the nearest thing so you hold onto his shoulder, kicking your feet to stay afloat until he grabs you around the waist to hold you close.

“I, uh. I got a new job,” you tell him, nerves filling you up. 

He’s puzzled and you can tell. “Okay? Why wouldn’t you wanna tell me that? That’s awesome. What is it?”

“It’s at a publishing house in Manhattan,” you take a deep breath, starting the spiel you’d been practicing for when you finally told him. “And I don’t know, I’ve been feeling a little weird about it? I didn’t want you to think I was following you or something but like, obviously it’s benn my dream job and I know you know that but-”

“Whoa, whoa, whoa. You got a job in New York? That’s amazing, holy shit!” Mat pulls you to his front, squeezing you tight and relief floods you as wrap your arms around his neck. 

For whatever reason, this was not how you pictured this going. You knew Mat- he didn’t like feeling stifled and that’s what you thought this decision felt like it might be to him, like you were encroaching on something that was his. 

“Really?”

Mat pulls away, searching your face in confusion. “Yeah, of course. This is gonna fucking sick. I can’t believe you didn’t say anything.”

“Well, I-”

You’re interrupted as Hannah yells at the two of you from the shore, “Hey, we’re gonna start grilling. Justin says you need to help, Mat!”

“Ugh. Fine!”

You both swim to shore and before you part, Mat grabs your wrist. “Don’t think I’m done with this. I have questions,” he tells you, waiting for you to nod before letting go.

Settling back on your towel, you turn towards Hannah who you can feel burning holes into your side. 

“Spit it out.”

“What was that all about? You two looked pretty cozy out there,” she teases. 

You shrug, still not sure how you’re feeling. “I told him about the job, moving, all of it. He was excited but then I think he realized I’d been keeping it from him and he might be upset? I can’t tell.”

Hannah glances over at the grill and you follow her gaze, both of you watching Mat and Justin goof off and she shrugs at you. “Maybe he’s forgotten,” she offers and you can’t help the laugh that passes your lips.

“Fat chance.”

—

Everyone gathers together to eat and discuss plans for after the summer and you’re pointedly quiet, still not quite ready to share your news with everyone. Hannah’s known and now Mat knew and that felt like enough. You still had a week, it would be fine. They all give Mat shit for going back all the way across the country and you’re thankful he doesn’t say anything, just gives it right back and tells everybody they’re welcome to visit. 

Once the weather starts to cool, everyone begins packing up. You’re still sat on your towel, wrapped in an old hoodie of Mat’s he’d grabbed you from the car earlier and Hannah comes to sit beside you, placing her head on your shoulder.

“Gonna miss you, ya know,” she tells you quietly. 

It’s hard, trying to hold the tears that are threatening to fall and you sniffle. “I know. God, we have a week left. Stop making me emotional and go home,” you tell her, voice wet and you push her away lightly. 

She clambers up, dusting the sand off her ass and wipes at her eyes. “Dinner tomorrow?”

“Obviously.”

She salutes you and you watch her make the trek back to the parking lot behind the beach before turning to find Mat. You find him easily enough, hugging a couple of friends goodbye and slapping them on the back. It’s easy for your mind to wander to when the time will come and you’ll all be doing different things, too busy to come together for the summers. Time filled with new families and friends.

Eventually, Mat makes his way back down to the beach and packs up what little is left: the rest of his White Claws and the couple of chairs you’d eventually brought down later in the day. He packs up the car but you’re not quite ready to leave, waiting for the sun to set. 

Mat’s quiet when he sits beside you, picking at the corner of the towel, and you nudge his arm with yours. “I’m sorry for not saying something sooner about moving, I-”

He cuts you off, shaking his head. “No, you don’t need to apologize.”

There’s a pause, and you can see him trying to gather the thoughts he’s been holding onto since you told him the news a few hours ago. 

“I think I just wish you’d felt like you could’ve told me,” he starts. “I didn’t even know you were looking at jobs out there. Like, we’d talked about it before years ago- you moving out there, but it always kind of seemed like a joke? And I guess it was, for a while anyway. But at some point I thought maybe you’d actually come out there and we could, I don’t know.” Mat shakes his head and you sigh, glancing towards the horizon of the setting sun and wonder if you’ve gotten something wrong here. 

He continues, cutting his gaze towards you. “I guess I just thought at some point you’d actually make the move for real and we could finally try something.”

And oh.

Mat looks serious and you suddenly feel warm all over despite the chill taking over, the breeze from the water rushing over you and giving you goosebumps.

“Mat…”

“Was I crazy to think that?” He asks, earnest.

You shake your head quickly, hands sliding out from the sweater sleeves and you reach for him, intertwining your fingers. “No. Not crazy.”

Sitting there, you both watch the sun finally set in the sky, the beach awash in a hazy blue glow and Mat turns to you.

“Truth or dare?”

“Dare,” you answer without hesitation. 

“Kiss me.”

The dare catches you off guard but Mat’s grinning, his smile stretched wide across his face and you lunge forward and press a kiss to his smiling lips.

[mewhenimanangel]

cherry, eren jaeger

—synopsis. you and eren reunite after almost two years.

—chapter 10 ౨ৎ

𝜗𝜚 content!: au-college/university, time skip, black reader, au-modern, reuniting, confessions, oral sex, breastplay, piv sex, missionary, filthy smut, long chapter

previous ౨ৎ

nia’s ౨ৎ notes: this chapter is pretty long but i felt it was necessary. i loved this story so much it was so cute and so sweet. thanks for reading! 🫧🎀

today was lana's birthday, her 21st to be exact, and you were driving down to her apartment for her party, you were quick with your movements considering you were running a little bit late and it was an hour and a half drive down.

it had been almost two years since you graduated from high school. since then you committed to your dream college about an hour away from home and you were studying for your dream career.

you had a part time job at a clothing store near by and a paid internship at a marketing brand company, so you were always busy between those obligations and classes. but there was no way you were going to miss your best friend's birthday.

your college experience was enjoyable for the most part - you joined the dance team, and were part of the honors program for the school. you were lucky enough to find a really nice roommate, evanie, who you grew fairly close to the last two years, you guys even agreed to continue being roommates as long as you attended the school.

you met a few friends at uni - brooklyn, who was a total party girl and who always brought the excitement. brooklyn's girlfriend, dana, who was a little more introvert than brooklyn, but was really funny and a talented artist. and you met parker, a charming and caring guy with a lean body, in your statistics class freshman year.

who which you hooked up with a bunch of times, and though he assured you he loved every second of it, he decided to come to terms with the fact that he was gay and you guys decided to stay friends.

thanks to brooklyn, you went out a lot more than you thought you would. clubbing, sleepovers with the group, a road trip to the beach - which you missed an exam for, you went to parties here and there, hooked up here and there.

you hadn't really been in any relationships in college, it was more or less, sex. you had this thing with a guy you'd met at a party. his name was daniel, but insisted everyone called him danny. he was on the basketball team.

your thing with him lasted about two months before he accepted a transfer offer to a better school and decided that whatever you and him were, wasn't enough of anything to hold on to. but there were no hard feelings, you were thinking the same.

after he transferred halfway through this school year, it had you thinking about eren again. who you had a sneaky suspicion would be at this party tonight, though lana swore he wouldn't.

it's been almost a year since the last time you spoke to him. not because of anything bad, you just grew apart.

he went to the university of marley and you both just got so busy that you never really talked much anymore.

over the summer before college, you had hooked up at jean's fourth of july party. no one knew about it.

once the barbecue was over, eren offered to drop you home. though, once he pulled up outside your house, something came over the both of you and you smashed your lips against his.

you were lucky eren's windows were tinted so nobody could see the way you crawled over the console to sit on his lap while his mouth left marks all over your neck. or how you grinded your hips against his growing dick.

his hands tangled in your hair as he laid his car seat back and pulled his pants down.

you shook the memory out of your head as you turned left down an intersection. you called lana to tell her you were on your way as you anxiously checked your back seat to make sure her gifts were in fact there.

you had gotten her a designer bag you knew she always wanted and you got dana to paint a picture of the two of you when you were younger.

you searched for five minutes for a parking spot outside of lana's apartment before you went up the elevator to her floor.

you rest the painting and the gift bag at the side of her door before you knocked, it was a rather big painting and you didn't want her to see it just yet.

lana opened the door with a big smile on her face and arms out ready to give you a hug. "happy birthday oh my god you're becoming a big girl" you joked as you squeezed her tight.

"ugh i'm just so glad you made it" she hugged you tighter. "of course i would make it" you said as you held her arms. you took the chance to look past her for a second, the apartment was filled with people - some you recognized, some you didn't. there was music bumping, and people dancing.

you could see a table by her windows filled with mini sandwiches, snacks, deserts, and pizza. everyone was dressed nice as lana told everyone to.

there were pink streamers and flowers decorating her already decorated apartment. she offered for you to live with her full time and as much as you would've loved to, it was just too far from your school. so during the summers, after going back home to your mom, you would spend weeks at a time at her apartment.

"i got you a present" you smirked as you leaned down to grab the gifts of the floor. "ooou you did?" she smiled.

you showed her the painting and she smiled before thanking you and bringing you to her bedroom.

"i'm definitely hanging this up in my living room once all these people leave" she told you and you giggled.

"oh and i have this" you handed her the gift bag as she opened it to find the purse. "no fucking way! how did you buy this?? don't you have student loans to pay off?" she joked.

"alright not too much cause i could take it back real quick" you laughed "i got it when it was on sale" you told her.

"you know im just playing with you, thank you so much" she hugged you again. "did connie come yet?" you asked her. "no not yet" she smirked "why, worried about eren showing up?"

"no!...no i'm not worried. i'm sure he's moved on too. it's just been a while" you shrugged. "you want me to tell con not to bring eren?" she asked you as she lead you out of the room.

"y/n! oh my god i've missed you so much" sasha threw her arms around you for a hug. "i didn't know you'd be coming" she told you. "hey sash, i've missed you too" you smiled. "you have to try the mini sandwiches" she told you. "oh i will" you giggled before she walked over to the table of food.

you said hi to some more familiar faces, occasionally falling into conversations with them - usual questions about school, work, life, etc. before lana found you again.

the sun was beginning to set and you joined your friends in the living room, dancing and sipping on your drinks.

"i'll be right back okay?" lana told you and you nod your head as you continued dancing with mikasa and sasha.

she opened her front door to see connie and eren standing on the other side. "oh baby i'm so sorry. there was so much traffic" connie immediately threw his arms around her. "happy birthday my love, im so sorry" he kissed her forehead.

"it's okay, you can make it up to me later" she winked before bringing him in for a kiss.

"hey eren" she waved before he brought her in for a side hug. "what's up, happy birthday"  she smiled and thanked him.

she closed the door behind them before grabbing connie's hand. "come on baby i wanna show you what y/n got me" she pulled him to her room.

eren perked up at the mention of your name. obviously he knew you would be here but actually being here knowing you were in the same room was a little too real.

"yo man, what took y'all so long" ony dapped him up. "so much traffic" eren hugged him. "it's good to see you bro it's been mad long" ony told him. "yeah man i've been keeping busy"

they talked for a bit before eren’s eyes scanned the room before landing on you. you looked even more beautiful than the last time he saw you, you looked so mature and confident.

your complexion was a little more tan than before, your hair looked as though you’d cut it shorter and it was straightened. you were in a pretty yellow dress and a cute little pair of open toed heels. there was a glass of wine in your hand as you talked to someone he didn’t recognize.

his heart sank when you looked over for a moment and your caught his eyes on you. there it was again, those tantalizing eyes and that charming smile.

the last time eren saw you was in armin’s pool as you all decided to do one last hang out with the group before you would be going your separate ways. after that the most you and him did was text, which fizzled out, his last message with you dating back nine months.

you felt your heart pick up when your eyes landed on eren. his hair was even shorter now, almost back to the way you remembered he wore it in middle school. he looked like he had put on a bit of muscle and grown an inch or two. his outfit looked nice and put together. you indulged in the thought that he got dressed today with you on the brain, the way you did.

you just stood there looking at each other, it became almost rude to the people you were both talking to. you excused yourself from your conversation before making your way over to him.

“hey stranger” he said first, same old grin on his face. ony took this as a sign to step away and let the two of you mingle. “hii, it’s so nice to see you” you reached out to hug him, holding out your drink. his arms wrapped around your waist.

“how’ve you been? you look good” you told him. “thanks,, i can definitely say the same about you” you didn’t miss the way his eyes trailed over you for a second as your lips curled into a smirk.

“so what’s up with you?” you asked him. “just keeping busy you know, school is slamming me. i’ve been working with some brands though”

the two of you talked for longer than you realized, catching each other up on your lives. you poured him a drink before you made your way out onto lana’s fire escape. you talked about your respective college experiences, work, your internship, his projects with brands, anything your minds led to.

talking with him made you realize how much you’ve both grown since the last time you saw each other and just how much you both missed each other.

you took a second to really look at each other as, just for a moment, eren’s eyes dipped down to your lips. a sly grin drew on both your faces as you let out a giggle.

“i have to ask, are you…seeing anyone?” he asked you “no not necessarily” he searched your face for an answer before you laughed. “no, no i’m not” you told him.

he took a step closer to you, standing so close you could feel the fabric of his jeans brush against your knee. you looked up at him, still taller than you even with your heels on, waiting for what he would do next.

“so,, does that mean i can do this?” he brushed your hair out of your face, letting his hand rest on your cheek and leaned in. you grinned as you followed along and held onto his waist, lips meeting for just a moment before connie knocked on the window, making you both jump and step away from each other.

“save that for later, we bout to sing happy birthday come on!” he told you before stepping away.

you looked at each other and laughed before climbing back into the apartment and joining everyone in singing happy birthday.

you and connie were first to give lana hugs and kisses and get your pictures taken before everyone else did the same. the whole time, eren’s eyes were just on you. he missed your smile, and your laugh, and the way you always made other people smile.

once the party was over you, connie, and eren stayed behind to help lana clean up. the four of you talked for a bit, munching on cake and the finger foods you were helping her put away.

“well i think it’s time i head out” you yawned. “okay there’s no way you’re leaving, your campus is like an hour and a half away. plus you’re still tipsy” lana insisted.

“how about you stay in the second bedroom?” she offered. you took a second to look at eren, hiding the small smirk on your face. lana clocked it immediately. “um i can take her” eren spoke up. “hm, very well then.” she nod her head before coming to give you a hug.

“stay safe and make sure he has a condom” she whispered in your ear and you giggled.

eren led the way out of lana’s apartment and down to your car. you let him drive since he had less to drink than you did and he drove to his brother’s apartment where he was staying.

he led you upstairs and opened the door to a spacious apartment with big windows overlooking the city. “jesus what does your brother do” you asked as eren closed the door behind you. “he’s a doctor or something like that. he’s not here though” eren told you as he leaned against the counter and watched you look down at the city.

you turned around to see a mischievous glint in his eyes. he cleared his throat before showing you to the guest room. “um there’s some clothes i had left in there from when i came down here with my mom if you wanna change” he told you.

“aw how is she?” you asked earnestly. “she’s good, she still loves and misses her prized dancer” eren grinned.

ʚɞ

you woke up in the middle of the night looking for water when you saw eren sitting at the kitchen island, doing something on his computer.

he turned your way when he heard the door open. “oh hey, can’t sleep?” he asked you. “nah, just thirsty” “there’s some water in the fridge, i’ll get you some” he got up to take a bottle of water out and handed it to you and you thanked him.

“what are you working on?” you asked him. “something for a class, i was supposed to finish it earlier but i put it off for lana’s party….which I’m glad i did cause i got to see you” he turned to you at the last part.

“i missed you a lot you know” he told you. “i missed you too. it was so nice seeing you again”

he didn’t say anything for a moment and you watched as though the gears in his head were turning.

“y/n….i really want to be with you. i can’t keep ignoring it anymore. i’ve wanted to be with you since we everything senior year. i tried to just push it down and get over you and try on new people but nobody fits, nobody but you. i don’t want this to be like last time, i don’t want this to be the last time i see you for another two years. it’s time for us to grow up and for me to admit that i really fucking want you and i think you want me too…”

you felt like you got the wind knocked out of you with the mini monologue he went on declaring his feelings for you.

“of course i want you too. i want you so bad eren, i don’t think my feelings for you ever really went away. i just, i don’t even know i was just a stupid seventeen year old who didn’t know what to do but i do know now. i want to be with you ren”

a moment went by before eren pulled you in for a hug. “god i’ve been dreaming to hear you say that” he mumbled into your shoulder while your hands played with the back of his hair.

he lift his head off your chest to look up at you and before you could even think, your lips were on his.

the kiss quickly changed from a soft pace to the two of you kissing like your lives depended on it. it was filled with years of tension and need.

eren stood up from the chair, pushing you up against the wall behind you as his hands dipped underneath the shirt you wore and held on to your waist. your mouths continued fighting to taste each other as your arms were wrapped around his neck.

you groaned in his mouth when you felt him grope your boob from under your shirt and his thumb grazed over your nipple. you felt him smirk against your mouth. “still like getting your tits played with?” he teased before moving to leave kisses and marks down your neck.

he reached for the bottom of your shirt and pulled it over your head, throwing it somewhere in the living room. he grabbed your boob and put it in his mouth, letting his tongue swirl over your nipple and sucking on it like a sweet.

a moan fell past your lips as you felt your face getting hot and you tangled your fingers through his hair. he pointed his tongue directly on the sensitive bud, reveling in the sweet noises you were making, like music to his ears.

you could feel your panties moistening by the second as you let your head lay back on the wall. he moved off your tit to show the other one some love, groping at it before putting it in his mouth.

he kissed along your collarbones before meeting your lips again. your hand dipped between your bodies and you teasingly grazed your fingers over the tent in his shorts. “mm what are you doing princess” “haven’t heard that one in a while” you grinned. “i wanna suck your dick” you looked him straight in the eyes.

“i won’t stop you” he smirked. you lowered yourself to your knees, keeping your eyes on his. you reached for the waistband of his shorts and pulled them down, revealing his dick print against his boxers. you pulled those down too.

face to face with his flushed dick, you wrapped your hand around it, slowing pumping to tease him. you licked a kitten lick over his tip, smirking when you heard his sharp inhale.

you pumped his cock between your fist as he let out small moans. most of the guys you’d hooked up with during college were too full of themselves to make any noise during sex. you enjoyed the groans he gave as he carefully held your hair in his hand.

you finally put his dick in your mouth, starting with his tip while you continued jerking him off. you slackened your jaw and manually breathed through your nose as you felt his cock fill your mouth. eren was definitely the biggest you’ve been with.

you combined your vacuuming lips with the licking of your tongue and it sent eren over the edge. one hand held onto the wall in front of him while the other kept a hold on your hair.

“fuck you’re so good at that” he whimpered. you licked along a vein near his tip and you felt his dick jump in your mouth.

“fuck y/n, think i’m gonna cum” he began shifting his hips, pushing himself further in your mouth. you felt his tip touch the back of your throat and you willed yourself not to gag, tears pricking your eyes. “you want my cum in your mouth, princess?” you nod your head.

a few seconds later he came and you swallowed every last drop. somehow, he was still hard and ready to go.

you got off your knees and he hugged your waist before kissing you again. “i’ll make you some tea for your throat” he said before lifting you up and carrying you back to the guest bedroom. he closed the door with his foot before laying you down on the bed.

you propped yourself up on your elbows as he pulled your pants and your panties down in one swift motion before he pulled off his wife beater, throwing all the pieces of clothes somewhere in the room. you think this is the first time you’ve seen each other fully naked.

“you’ve been working out?” you asked, trailing your hands over his soft abs. “yeah but i haven’t been in a while” he crawled on the bed and spread your legs, placing himself between them.

he squeezed your boobs before trailing his hands down to your vagina. you moaned feeling a finger rub over your clit before dipping in your hole.

he smirked before reaching over to the nightstand and pulling out a condom. “no need,,i’m in the pill. i wanna feel you” you told him.

he leaned down to kiss you again. “gonna fuck you so good baby” he whispered in your ear before lining his dick up with your entrance.

he eased himself inside you, hands gripping your hips as his hips snapped against yours in an erotic rhythm.

you felt him fill you up, brain going fuzzy. you reached behind you to grip onto the pillows. “oh my fucking god, ren- feels so good” your words came out airy as every hump inside you made you lose your breath.

your tits bounced and you felt the bed squeak as eren got more rough with his thrusts. “you feel so fucking good princess, like this pretty pussy was made for me” his grip on your hips got tighter.

your pussy engulfed his dick, you could feel his balls slapping against your skin.

the room was filled with the vulgar noise of your skin slapping against his, your pornographic moans, and eren’s grunts. for a second you wondered if the neighbors could hear you.

but you were too busy getting fucked out to care.

eren threw your leg over his shoulder leaning down to deepen himself inside you. “oh my god eren i’m gonna cum” a moan ripped out of you at the new angle.

“go ahead baby, wanna feel you rush on my dick” he kissed your forehead, holding on to the headboard behind you.

it didn’t take long for the knot in your stomach to snap and you were cumming all over eren’s cock. he followed suit soon after too and the two of you sat there for a few seconds trying to catch your breaths.

he pulled you in for a hug and you could feel his heart racing against your chest. you stayed like that for a while, hugging each other while eren’s dick was still buried inside you. “i think i love you y/n, if that’s not insane to say” he said, making you chuckle.

“it’s not. i love you too” you said before he pressed his lips against yours. this one much different than the one before - this one soft and gentle and sweet.

you kissed each other, never wanting to let go now that you’ve made your way back to one another.

[mary-laib]

OKAY WRITING ABOUT JWCT SHIPS TIME:

Sammy x Yasmina

10/10

I love their relationship and how they have come so far throughout cc and ct. Also less to do with the ship but I especially loved how Yasmina was shown in ct to have worked towards facing her fears and has gotten so much further than Sammy, who has been ignoring her problems. There's like nothing to hate about this ship. Everyone agrees they're perfect.

Kenji x Brooklyn

3/10

I've been waiting for them to break up since they got together. She was great for him in the beginning of their relationship, helping him become his own person and becoming less egotistical, but she has refused to change with him, which has made their relationship stagnant. I thing their relationship was good for Kenji and I'm glad they got together if only so that she could help him figure out how to be his own man, but past that, their relationship was pointless and I hope it never gets rejuvenated.

Ben x Darius

8/10

I love them as bros and honestly, despite their obvious closeness and the fact that I would like to see more of their interactions, I see them as more platonic, especially with what Darius said about his crush on Brooklyn. Not because of him liking Brooklyn or girls in general and you'll see why in a minute. But I also wouldn't be mad to see them get together. They're both nerds and I love them.

Darius x Brooklyn

2/10

Honestly, I feel like the same things that caused a rift in Brooklyn's relationship with Kenji would also tear apart her relationship with Darius. And it's stated in the show that it's unrequited. They're good friends, but while he'd probably rate her as his top friend and vice versa, I feel like we can collectively agree that there are other friendships he has that are less toxic. Also the love triangle thing feels so weird when the girl cares less about both the guys combined than either one feels about her.

Darius x Nobody

9/10 The dots have been connected

Now hear me out: I don't feel like his crush has ruined things between him and Ben or Kenji, but some things about what he said regarding his crush and his reactions have made me feel like he is very aroace coded. Which has put a lot of things in perspective for me. Since the beginning of cc, he's been a "power of friendship" guy and rewatching his interactions with everyone, they seem a lot stronger and meaningful as just platonic, rather than romantic. And while everyone around him has been dealing with romance, he's just kind of indifferent to it all until Brooklyn. And his reaction to his crush on Brooklyn just screams repressed aroace with him saying that he never thought he could feel like that (has he never had a crush on anybody before) and how he has completely panicked regarding their relationship. Idk to me, it's giving aroace with a "fake" crush or demi aroace person who has taken way too long to fall for a girl that anybody else would have fallen for after the original bout of mortal danger. He had to be friends with her for YEARS before he could catch a semblance of a crush on her. And it also sounds to me like she was pretty absent in his life before popping in to stay with him for a week, which could also explain why he might he having a "fake" crush (if that is what it is). ALSO: when I say "fake" crush, I'm not trying to downplay his feelings, I'm just referring to something a lot of aroace people experience where you get really close to someone and mistake those feelings for love. And when it happens, these feelings are very intense(speaking from experience). Like how if he's suddenly frequently interacting with Brooklyn again and it's just them, I feel like that kind of situation could lead to an aroace crush. It's all just giving aroace person experiencing their first crush in the most traumatic way possible.

Brooklyn x Nobody

10/10 We love to see a gal feeling herself

I feel like at this point in the story, she has nothing to gain or give by being in a relationship with anybody in the show. Her and Kenji had a decent run while they had it, but it's time to let go at this point. If she does end up with someone, it has to be someone outside the main cast and personally, I'd like to see her with a gal pal. She has bi energy, especially with the new haircut.

Kenji x Darius

7/10

Honestly, I definitely shipped them mid-cc, but at the beginning of ct, I decided I did not want to see them get together. But by the end, I kind of changed my mind. I still think their relationship would be best platonic, but I also wouldn't be mad if they got together. It'd probably be a bit stranger than if Darius was with Ben, but they've also got a strong connection.

Ben x Kenji

0/10

I feel like they've hardly gotten any relationship building in either cc or ct and it needs to happen pronto. There has to be something they can bond over

Sammy x Yasmina and Ben

10/10

I'd like to see the lesbians in a qpr with their hypeman. Ben is just so cute with them and he loves them so much (platonically) and vice versa. It doesn't need to be anything official, but just more of Ben being their third wheel/adopted son would make the show more perfect than it already is.

Ben x His European GF

2/10

I think she's fake, either that he's lying about her so he doesn't lose street cred or that she is lying to him and is a catfish. Maybe we'll see a plot twist relating to the gf, but I'm not holding out hope. She could be redeemed if she was a real girl who was a total kickass and saved the whole group (maybe they meet her at the end of their stowaway boat mission) but otherwise I don't really care about her. Also don't lose hope, people who hc him as gay or aro, there's always the chance that he's bi, lying, or having a "fake" crush like Darius. I know I, as an aroace person have had more online than irl relationships and I'm p sure that's a sign of not being allo, especially when the person you're dating is far away and you have no plans of ever seeing them irl.

Anyways thanks for coming to my Ted Talk.

[blooming-violets]

Peter's reaction to bumping into an ex 10 years later who now Has a family of her own ?

Hold on, I raise you this, her husband has passed away so she's raising her children as a single mother.

Because now I'm thinking about future step father Peter Parker. I don't think I've ever pictured him in a stepdad role before, raising another guy's children, but now I kind of love it??

He would be such a good stepdad! Probably at this point, he's thinking kids will never happen for him. He's getting older, he's struggled in the dating world, he's feeling like that part of his life was passed by.

So when he stumbles upon her one evening and they end up going out for coffee, suddenly sparks begin to fly. They reconnect like they haven't been apart a single day. Except that he's very aware of the ring on her finger.

And, let's be real, this Peter at this age isn't afraid of getting into an affair with a married woman if she desires it. He's horny and enjoys sex. BUT she hits him with the dead husband line.

And he knows better than anyone what it feels like to lose someone you were so in love with.

They're little lunch dates ends in emotional tears and heart felt conversations and he walks away feel like he really connected with her again.

It's a slow romance.

It's been over five years since her husband passed but she still isn't sure how to do this whole dating thing again. She has needs, too, but her heart is torn. So they start with just sex.

"No feeling attached. Just sex."

Fucking for the sake of fucking. Just two people who have needs that need to be met.

But we all know that won't be where it ends.

Feelings will always come into play. Especially since they were old lovers. Years of passing time need to be caught up on. They aren't the same people they were years before.

Peter falls first. Obviously. He has less to lose with his feelings.

Her feelings are highly complicated. She has a seven and five year old daughter. She was pregnant with her youngest when her husband died.

She's careful about introducing him to the girls at first. She's not someone who drags over any random man she's sleeping with to her kids.

When they've been dating more concretely long enough, he's finally able to properly meet them. The youngest warms to him immediately. She never knew her father and is just happy to have a man in the house to roughhouse with. The seven year old is a little more wary of him. She's overly protective of her mom, watches Peter with a scowl most of the time, stays quiet and reserved like she's constantly trying to size him up.

Peter, of course, doesn't mind. He lost his parents too. He gets it.

He finds out she's really into Pokémon and that's when they first truly bond. He pulls up his Pokémon Go app and they go out hunting for Pokémon around the neighborhood. After that ice breaking, she can't get enough of him.

Within the first year, he's really made a home for himself amongst their family. He loves his girl, adores the kids, and feels a sense of peace and belonging he hasn't in a long time.

After they get married, I could see him adopting the girls officially. But before hand, he visits their father's grave and talks to him, letting him know that he is so thankful to have found his family and that he promises to be the best man to them that he possibly can be. That he can trust Peter to take care of them. That he won't let them down.

And that he loves them more than anything.

[unrefinedmusings]

snooze

pairing: no outbreak!joel miller x f!reader

summary: after a few blissful weeks of dating, you meet the most important people in Joel's life in the worst way. part 1: sweet, sweet sugar (can be read as standalone)

warnings: allusions to smut, explicit language, age gap (reader is mid 20s, Joel is 36) smidge of nasty talk, one use of y/n

a/n: took ten years to write a sequel but the joel miller girlies are still going strong so who cares? thank you for all the support for part 1! btw this was inspired by the scene in gilmore girls the morning after luke and lorelai's first date hehe

---

The mid-morning light awoke you. You were surrounded by warmth, by Joel. He had you wrapped up in his arms, his chest acting as your pillow. The smile on your face grew bigger as you remembered where you were: in his bed, in his house. 

Sleepovers happened less than often between you two, and up until last night they had been held exclusively at your apartment. But with Sarah staying over at a friend’s and Tommy staying over at a “friend’s”, you were finally allowed a bigger glimpse into your maybe boyfriend’s life. 

You were tempted to stay in bed with Joel, even just to watch him sleep. However, you vaguely remembered the blaring sound of an alarm clock going off earlier. Your response had been to nuzzle further into the man next to you, and it seemed Joel’s was to turn off the clock entirely. Due to your busy schedules, you cherished your time together and did not want to waste any more unconscious. 

Despite the sluggishness in your body, you trudged down the stairs to make some coffee for you and your still snoozing man. If you hadn’t still been so dazed from slumber, you would have registered the light noises of chewing and metal scraping against plates. Maybe then you wouldn’t have been standing in front of your maybe not anymore boyfriend’s brother and daughter in nothing but a precariously buttoned flannel shirt.

Your jaw dropped but no sound came out as you stared wide eyed at the two of them sitting at the breakfast table. Their faces glimmered with surprise and a hint of mischief. Tommy’s gaze met Sarah and he sent her an impish grin before turning back to you. Not that you were processing any of that right now. You were too busy silently praying that Joel’s shirt was long enough to cover the array of hickeys he left on your thighs last night. You knew it wasn’t covering the ones he left on your neck.

The man’s got a possessive streak.

Tommy cleared his throat before speaking.

“Hel-“

That’s all he could utter before you darted right back up the stairs to Joel’s room. You shut the door behind you before letting out a long, shuddering exhale and pacing the room.

A familiar groan caught your attention. “Baby, c’mon back to bed.”

There you were, trying to recover from one of the most mortifying moments of your life, and there he was, barely awake and looking delicious with the sheets lying dangerously low around his naked waist. 

Ugh, men. It wasn’t enough to just be unhelpful. He had to be sexy and distracting right now too.

With heavy eyelids, Joel catches your form across the room. He lingers on your bare legs before meeting your glare with a suggestive grin.

“Think I need somethin’ sweet to start the day. Why dontcha come sit that pretty pussy on my face, sugar?”

For a second, you forget about everything but his tongue and all it was capable of.

NO!

“We’re not alone…in the house,” you said meekly.

Joel sat up in bed before replying, “What?”

“Tommy and Sarah are in the kitchen! I went downstairs to make coffee and walked in on them eating breakfast. I ran back up before they could even say anything.”

“They’re not supposed to be home until 10.”

You grabbed his watch from the dresser and tossed it at him. “It’s 10:30! We slept through your alarm!”

He let out a grunt of annoyance before getting out of bed and grabbing a pair of sweats off the floor.

“I’m sorry, sugar. We’ll explain it to ‘em and-“, he paused, turning to you. “Hold on now, did you go downstairs like that?”

“…Yes.”

“You’re not wearing any pants.”

“I know that!”

“You mean to tell me my brother saw you with no pants on?”

“Seriously? That’s what you’re focused on right now?”

“I don’t want Tommy gettin’ any ideas about what’s mine.”

His. His. His. He said I’m h—no!

You forced yourself to focus on planning an escape.

“Do you think I could climb out the window?”

He shot you a look. The look. “You are not climbing out the goddamn window.”

“Back door?”

Joel lets out a long exhale before walking over to where you’re standing. He pulls you into his chest and you melt into the embrace, his hands gently rubbing your back to comfort you further.

“Sugar, we’re gonna get dressed, go downstairs, say hello, and if you want, have breakfast with Sarah and Tommy. If not, I’ll take you out the front door and give ya’ a ride home.”

“…breakfast sounds good.”

You feel the rumble of his laugh before a press of his lips meets your forehead.

After finally getting some bottoms on, Joel leads you downstairs, undeterred by your dragging feet. You couldn’t help it, you were so embarrassed. 

This plus the age difference…they probably think I’m some airhead.

As you reach the kitchen, Joel speaks, “Sarah, Tommy.” He pauses before turning to you, a small but proud smile on his face, and says, “I’d like you to meet Y/N. We’ve been dating a few weeks now.”

The two Millers at the table send you bright smiles and welcome you to their home. You give them a shy smile and a wave, slightly reassured by their hospitality. The two of them traded your plate back and forth across the table until it’s piled high with waffles, eggs, and bacon.

After a few minutes of pleasant small talk, Joel turned to Sarah and, in a more serious tone, spoke, “Now, I’m sorry I sprung this on you with no warni—“

“I already knew,” Sarah interrupted. “You were pretty insistent Uncle Tommy make plans once I told you about my sleepover at Hannah’s. Why else would you need the house all to yourself? Overnight too? Not to mention,” she paused to pop a blueberry in her mouth, “you’ve been bathing more often. Generally, looking less scruffy. I knew something was up.”

You couldn’t help but snort at her comment. Joel grumbled around a forkful of eggs, “Five minutes at breakfast and you two are already gangin’ up on me.”

Tommy rolled his eyes at his brother.

As if Joel minded that his two girls were getting along.

---

💕💕💕 Thank you for reading 💕💕💕

[justmochi]

so close

pairing :: mira x wonwoo

word count :: 1.7k

synopsis :: mira voices some of her concerns

time :: may, 2024

warnings :: suggestive ! MINORS DNI

taglist :: @cafemilk-tea @cixrosie @moonlight-additions @cosmicwintr @astraw-astro @succulentmom @kimhyejin3108 @enhacolor @alixnsuperstxr @hybesunstone @itzynabi @choihaneul @strmiu @angie-x3 @Kaitieskidmore1 @evaalopezzzz

They hadn’t seen a good rom-com in a while and this definitely took the cake. It was hilarious but what got them the most was the nudity in it. When the male was naked, Mira would squeal and cover her eyes. Wonwoo could only look away in astonishment. He had no idea the movie would be so explicit. But when the female was nude, she would reach up and cover his eyes for him. Her cheeks heated up when seeing intimate scenes and only made her dilemma much worse.

It was a normal thing couples did. Except she and Wonwoo didn’t have a normal relationship. Mira was twenty eight and still a virgin, with religious trauma. They’ve dated a little over four years and haven’t even gotten close to being intimate with each other. A few heated kisses here and there. They’re both adjusted to being comfortable when either of them are wearing less clothing than normal.

And now that she's okay being exposed to more sensitive topics, her sexual frustration is getting out of control. She’s researching more, reading more romance books, and even going out of her way to purchase sexy garments and lingerie.

Mira completely zoned out during the last 10 minutes of the movie, coming back to her senses when Wonwoo started stretching his arms when the credits rolled.

“Did you like it?” She asked, looking up at him while she stretched as well.

“It was something.” He let out a big sigh like he was too scared to talk about the contents of the film. “Did you?”

“Yeah, it was funny.” Her eyes wandered back to his laptop screen, hiding the blush on her cheeks. She took the blankets off of her, rolling over him to get off the bed. “I’m gonna go to the bathroom.”

“Okay.” He held onto her hand before she slipped through his fingertips, watching as she excused herself.

When she was done, she could see how worked up she got by looking in the mirror. She turned on the cold water, hoping it would calm down the flush on her skin.

She came out, seeing the laptop shut on his desk and Wonwoo with open arms. She really loved when he was clingy like this. She smiled, climbing onto the bed and laying on top of him. He wrapped his arms around her, squeezing her tight and kissing her head.

He strokes the back of her head while his attention points to the ceiling. She lifts her head to look up at him, admiring his features up close.

She blushes the second he makes eye contact with her. As much as she wants to, she can’t look away. He brings his palm to her cheek, rubbing his thumb against her skin. He can even feel the warm flush with his touch.

“Can I ask you something?” Her voice is shaky, using the back of her hands to prop her chin up.

“You can ask me anything at any time.” He nods while brushing a stray hair behind her ear.

“Have you been with other girls before me?”

He paused, trying not to show his confusion on his face. He had no idea where this was coming from but he saw no point in hiding anything from her. “Yes, Mira. I have.”

“What happened with them?”

He sighed, pursing his lips. “Well, we’ve either drifted apart or they’ve cheated on me.”

Her eyes widened. “Cheated on you?”

“It sounds more embarrassing out loud.”

“No, I didn’t mean it that way–“

“I mean embarrassing for me.”

“If anything, they should be embarrassed. I don’t know why or how anyone could possibly do that to you.” Mira pouted, feeling sad that someone would ever cheat on him.

“I really don’t know.” He rubs his thumbs against her temples, sighing. “Why are you asking?”

“I just wanted to know… in case you’re losing interest in me.”

He furrowed his brows, scoffing. “At the end of the day, I’m a simple man. I want to love someone who loves me right back. And I love you. I couldn’t lose interest in you, Mira.”

“Really? Even if I can't give you what you need?”

“I have everything I could possibly need. What more could I ask for?”

She looked away from him as she blushed. She pushed herself off his chest to straddle his lap, the faintest hint of a frown on her lips. He sat up, wrapping his arms around her waist.

“What’s wrong, Mira?”

Mira had no idea how to put what she wanted to say into words. Not without embarrassing herself or turning him off.

He grasps her chin, turning her attention to him. She stares deep into his eyes before her hands come up to his face. Mira swipes her thumb across his bottom lip, her eyes darting down. “I…”

He hums, keeping himself restrained as he waits for her to finish.

“I want to give you more…” She angles her head better, lips just barely brushing against his. “I didn’t think it was possible to want you in such ways but I do.”

Her lips hover before she closes the distance, hoping that her kisses can communicate what she can’t with her words.

He tightens his grip, grabbing her waist and pushing her down on his lap. She brushes her fingers into his hair, kissing him deeper as he slips his tongue into her mouth.

He pulls back, staring up at her lips. “Is this what you mean?”

She blushes, her hand shaking as she attempts to hold his gaze. “More…”

Wonwoo experiments, his hand reaching behind her and lifting her shirt just a few inches higher. His fingertips run along her spine, sending a chill through her body. “This?”

She nods, digging her fingers into his shoulders. “More.”

He groans, feeling himself harden in his pants. She can feel his icy fingers travel up her back, paying no mind to her bra straps. Wonwoo wraps his arm around her, using his other hand to flip her onto her back. He hovers over her, leaning down to kiss her as his leg separates her thighs.

He strokes her lip with his thumb, his attention diverting between her eyes and lips. He leans down to kiss her, cradling her head in his arms. She cups his cheeks, kissing him harder as he presses her into his bed.

He turns her face in the opposite direction before leaving kisses on her jaw down to her neck. “You smell amazing.”

She holds back as long as she can before a whimper escapes her lips, sending him into a spiral. His hands travel down to the hem of her shirt, slipping under to feel the warmth of her stomach. She closes her eyes, her own hands traveling under his shirt to feel the small of his back.

“Can I?” He whispers next to her ear, fingers lifting her shirt higher up her body.

She nods with a whimper, biting her lip as she looks down between them. He pushes her shirt high enough to reveal her bra, his breathing unsteady as he admires the sight.

“God, Mira.” He places a kiss at the center of her chest. “You’re even prettier than in my dreams.”

She squeezes her thighs together at his words. Wonwoo grips her sides, kissing his way down to her stomach. She tangles one hand through his hair, covering her mouth with the other as she watches him with heavy eyes. She tries to fight the urge to giggle when he kisses a sensitive spot on her belly. He can feel her muscles flex underneath his mouth, looking up at her with a smirk. “Is this okay?”

Mira nods, biting her lip and wanting to combust as they hold eye contact. He peppers kisses back up her body, on the tops of her breasts before dipping his face into her neck, inhaling her scent. He licked beneath her ear as her head fell back against the pillow, closing her eyes and feeling the warmth spread throughout her body.

Just as Wonwoo was about to slip his hands under her bra, they could hear the front door opening. She opened her eyes, her entire body tensing underneath him as his lips paused what they were doing to her neck.

They weren’t expecting Mingyu to be home. It was only supposed to be the two of them. Wonwoo quickly pushed himself off of her, gently pulling her shirt down like he had done the most shameful thing ever.

Her cheeks flushed so fast, feeling the hairs stand up on her body. She sat up straight, brushing her fingers through her hair as she readjusted her bra.

“What’s he doing here?” He groaned under his breath, opening his bedroom door and leaving to go check what was going on.

She put her palms against her cheeks, feeling how warm they were. It didn’t help that they also started to sweat. She wanted to smack herself for being so impulsive. She began to ponder whether this was God’s way of telling her to stay a virgin. But she couldn’t shake the certain feelings of attraction to him. She’s been losing sleep from it and she could only imagine how it was affecting Wonwoo.

She covered herself with his throw blanket, staring at random items in his room as she got her heartbeat to slow.

When he came back in, she smiled and made room for him on his bed.

“Their plans got canceled from the rain, so he’s back here.” He sat down near her legs, scratching the back of his neck. It wouldn’t be the first time Mingyu interrupted them and it certainly wouldn’t be the last.

“I’m sorry–“ They both blurted out at the same time, making them both giggle nervously.

“You don’t have to apologize. If anything, we should be mad at him.” He places his hand over her knee, squeezing it. She can’t ignore the bolt of electricity that shoots up her leg and straight to her center.

When he excused himself, she knew he’d be taking care of himself after getting so riled up. She wondered what kind of girlfriend she was if she couldn’t even do this one thing for him.

[redroomreflections]

Gentle Hands Chapter Seven

Natasha Romanoff x fem!reader

Summary: Natasha suspects Reader is in an abusive relationship and tries to convince her to leave

7/10

W/c: 3k

Masterlist | General Masterlist

Warning: Domestic violence

So, having your parents around is turning out to be more stressful than you initially thought.

The constant presence of your parents, once a source of comfort and support, now feels like an overwhelming challenge. What started as a well-intentioned visit has transformed into a source of stress that you hadn't anticipated. Though you appreciate their presence and are genuinely grateful for their support, the timing couldn't be worse. Your emotions are a tangled mess, making it difficult to handle their well-meaning suggestions with the grace you would usually possess.

It's not just about the parenting decisions; it's the subtle tensions, the unsolicited critiques, and the constant feeling of being under a microscope that add to the stress. The clash of perspectives and the intrusion into your personal space create an atmosphere that you hadn't foreseen. What was supposed to be a joyful time with family has become a delicate balance between gratitude and the struggle to maintain your own sense of autonomy and decision-making.

Every parenting decision seems to be up for scrutiny. Why are you dressing Kaia this way? Why not try it a different way? What if we style her hair like this? Most of the comments come from your mother, which is a challenge in itself. You appreciate their presence, truly grateful that both of them are here, but the timing isn't quite right. If you weren't so emotionally tangled, you might handle her suggestions more gracefully.

That's why you're currently on the verge of asking them to leave your apartment—well, Natasha's suite. You're still at the tower, as you anticipated that inviting them over to Natasha's actual home would be a bit complicated. Natasha, being the polite person she is, allowed you to host them here.

This marks the longest period you've spent with your parents in years, and it's a bit overwhelming. Everywhere you step they’re there. Every question they have you answered. In some ways, you feel like a little girl again. It’s only giving you a taste of what could be if you were to move back home with them. Especially in this current situation.

Kaia is in the midst of a full-fledged tantrum because she can't have any more cheese puffs. Her little face is scrunched up, tears streaming down, as she vehemently protests the denial of her favorite snack. It’s not that you’re intentionally trying to be mean. It’s simply that you would like to not ruin her appetite when dinner is less than two hours away.

As Kaia's tantrum continues, she looks up at you with tearful eyes and pleads, "More, more, Mama."

You knelt, trying to reason with her, "Kaia, sweetheart, dinner is almost ready. You'll get more snacks later."

Kaia, not satisfied with the response, pointed at the cheese puffs sitting on the counter and exclaimed, "Cheese, cheese!"

Your mom jumps in with a shrug, "Come on, just a few more won't hurt."

Out of the corner of your eye, you can see Natasha perched on the kitchen island, her keen eyes observing the unfolding exchange with a sense of quiet understanding. Her gaze moved between the family members, capturing the tension and unspoken emotions that hung in the air. There was something about the way she carried herself that suggested a genuine interest in the dynamics at play.

It struck you as peculiar that Natasha had consciously chosen to stick around while your parents were visiting. You couldn't quite decipher if she sensed the underlying stress in the atmosphere, but her presence felt like a silent anchor, offering a comforting reassurance.

“Mama!” Kaia demands with a stomp of her foot. This was a new thing for her.

You shook your head, "No, Kaia. You need to wait for dinner."

Kaia, frustrated, resorted to her limited vocabulary with more pleas, "Want! Want!"

Your dad, wisely staying out of the argument, observed the scene with a knowing smile.

"Here," your mother declares, taking the initiative to grab the container of cheese puffs and extend it toward Kaia. Your mouth dropped in disbelief, and you let out a scoff. This was unbelievable. Kaia, thrilled at the sudden turn of events, happily indulged in the snack, grabbing a handful and plopping down on the floor.

As your mother handed the cheese puffs to Kaia against your wishes, a mix of frustration and helplessness washed over you. You couldn't bring yourself to stand up to your parents, and tears welled up in your eyes. With a heavy heart, you turned away and left the room, the weight of the situation lingering in the air.

Upon entering the bedroom, your immediate response is to pace back and forth. The motion doesn't offer any comfort, but sitting is out of the question at the moment. Confrontation has never been your forte; standing up to people has always felt like a big challenge. The persistent meekness and shyness within you frustrate you, knowing that a firmer approach is needed with your parents, yet you find yourself unable to muster it. It's a feeling you despise.

As tears fall and you grapple with your internal struggle, you turn to find Natasha standing in the doorway. "Hey," she greets you with a reassuring expression, her perceptive eyes trying to discern the depth of your emotions. The sight of tears in your eyes prompts an immediate change in her demeanor. "Hey, tell me what's going on," she urges, her concern evident in her tone.

“Stupid hormones,” You sigh in frustration. “I don’t know why I’m crying.”

Natasha raises an eyebrow, a subtle skepticism crossing her features. "Hormones?" she questions her tone a mix of curiosity and doubt. Her gaze lingers on you as if trying to decipher whether there's more to the frustration you're expressing. Natasha, ever perceptive, senses that there might be deeper layers to the situation than a simple dismissal of it as hormonal.

She closes the bedroom door behind her, sensing that you need a little more time to go through your feelings.

“It’s more than that,” You swipe at your wet cheeks angrily. “I just can’t handle them being here. I can’t handle HER.” You confess with a lazy hand gesture towards the kitchen.

“I figured,” Natasha agrees. “Look if they’re stressing you out I can tell them to go. I can make up some excuse or something for you.”

“No, don’t do that,” You answer too quickly. “I mean, I can’t. They’re here for me and I don’t want to seem ungrateful. I just can’t believe she would undermine my authority like that. I’m Kaia’s mom. Keith would constantly do that and I hated it.”

Natasha nods empathetically, acknowledging your quick response. "I understand," she says gently. "It's not about being ungrateful. It's just frustrating when someone undermines your authority, especially in your own home.”

“It’s why I left home,” You confess quietly. “In the beginning. Keith and I were straight out of high school and we had dreams of moving to New York together. I wanted to get away from my parents. We never had big problems. I love them dearly and they’ve always been there for me. It’s just that Keith was refreshing. He was new. I could be myself with him.”

“And you don’t feel like that now?” Natasha inquiries. “That you can be yourself with your parents?”

“Not fully,” You shake your head. “It’s like nothing is ever good for her. There’s always more I could be doing. I know they’re being supportive. They have been nothing but supportive and I’ve missed them so much. I’m still an adult. I don’t need someone else in my life coming to tell me what to do anymore.”

“I think you should tell her that,” Natasha pushes. “Everything you’re telling me you should tell them. If they’re worthy parents they would understand where you’re coming from.”

“Yeah,” You nod. “In an ideal world. I think I’m still waiting for my mother to say I told you so.”

As you spoke, the bedroom door creaked open, and there stood your mother, who had come under the guise of checking on you. She entered with a small knock.

"I hope I'm not interrupting," She says tentatively.

You looked up, caught off guard, and a hint of vulnerability crossed your features. "No, Mama, come in."

"I heard bits of what you were saying, and I just wanted to make sure you're okay," she explains, her expression a mix of concern and understanding. The room filled with palpable tension as you and your mother stood on the brink of a conversation that had been a long time coming.

“Can we have the room?” You ask Natasha and she nods. She takes one last look at you before exiting.

"Mom," You begin tentatively, the weight of your emotions evident in your voice. She says “y/n” at exactly the same time.

Regina nods, encouraging you to express yourself. "You go first, baby," she offers, giving you the floor.

"I'm not sure what to say," You admit, sitting on the bed with a sense of dejection.

Regina gently takes a seat beside you, her eyes reflecting a mixture of understanding and concern. "How about you start by telling me how you feel?" she suggests, a motherly tone underscoring her words. “Don’t hold it in because you think it will make me angry.”

Taking a deep breath, you gather your thoughts. "It's just... having you and Dad here, it's different. I appreciate the support, I really do, but it feels like I'm not given room to be myself. Like nothing is ever good enough. I'm an adult, Mom. I've missed you both so much, but I need to navigate this on my own, too. It's overwhelming."

Regina listens attentively, her expression softening as she absorbs your words. There's a moment of silence as she processes your feelings, and then she reaches out, placing a reassuring hand on your shoulder.

"I hear you, Y/n. I'm sorry if it seems like we're overstepping. We're just excited to be here for you," she responds sincerely. "But I understand that you're your own person now, and we need to find a balance. Tell me what you need from us, sweetheart."

“I just need you to be here,” You frown. “So much has happened over the past few years. I was in a toxic relationship where I had no one. Keith controlled everything. From the clothes I was allowed to wear to what I could do with Kaia. When you undermined my authority, several times over this weekend, I felt unheard. It feels like nothing has changed. I don’t know how to stand up to you. Or anyone really.” You shrug. “I don’t need another handler. I just need my parents.”

Regina looks at you with a mixture of regret and determination. "I'm sorry for making you feel that way, Y/n. I had no intention of bringing back those feelings of control and toxicity. I want to be here for you, and I don't want to add to your stress."

You can sense her sincerity, and it eases the tension in the room.

Regina continues, "Let's find a way to make this work. I want to support you without overstepping. Maybe we can establish some boundaries, so you feel more in control. I'm here to be your parent, not to control your life."

Her willingness to understand and adapt brings a sense of relief. You nod, appreciating her commitment to making things better. "I'd like that," you respond, a small smile forming. You sit silently. “Mama, I’m hurt.” You begin. “He hurt me. A lot. I’m not who I used to be. I’m not who I want to be.”

Regina's face softens with concern as she hears your vulnerable admission. She moves closer and gently places a comforting hand on your shoulder, offering a reassuring presence.

"I'm so sorry, sweetheart," Regina responds, her voice filled with empathy. "I hate that you've gone through this pain. But please know, you're not alone. We're here for you.”

“Thank you,” You whisper. “It’s not that you’re not allowed to spoil Kaia. I love that you want to. She needs more than just me in this life. I’m her mother but I know I can’t provide everything for her. I just need that control. I need to find my way back to myself. For her. For us.”

Regina squeezes your shoulder gently, conveying her support and acknowledgment of your feelings. "I understand, Y/n.”

“I still can’t believe he called you,” You shake your head. “After all this time. All these years. I spent them avoiding you. I spent them listening to him convince me that you didn’t want me back. For Kaia’s birth, I wanted you to be there. My first baby, I was so excited. She was so tiny and I was so scared. Pictures were the only way I could connect you with. I’m sorry for disappearing like that.”

Regina's expression softens as she absorbs your words. There's a mixture of understanding and sadness in her eyes. She places a comforting hand on your arm. For some reason, she can read you like a book. Though you so desperately want her hugs and comfort you still need space. She moves to hold your hand and you allow her. She replies, "Y/n, I can't imagine how difficult those years must have been for you. I never stopped wanting to be a part of your life. It breaks my heart that you felt you had to avoid me."

She takes a moment, letting the weight of your confession settle in, before continuing, "I appreciate your honesty, and I'm sorry if my absence made you feel abandoned. I would have loved to be there for Kaia's birth. I'm here now, though, and I want to be a part of both your lives moving forward. No need to apologize. We have time to make up for, and I'm grateful for the chance to do so."

“Even if I don’t want to move back home?” You avoid her gaze.

Regina takes a deep breath, understanding the complexity of your feelings. She gently lifts your chin, encouraging you to meet her gaze. She wipes away your tears. Damn hormones. "Even if you don't want to move back home, Y/n," she says sincerely. "I want you to be where you feel comfortable and happy. I missed you, but I don't want you to feel pressured. What matters most to me is that we rebuild our relationship, no matter where you choose to call home."

Regina wraps her arms around you, providing a warm and comforting embrace. "Thank you, Mama," you express with gratitude, leaning into her support. As you sniffle and whimper, she gently strokes your hair, offering a soothing presence.”I feel so broken.”

"I know, sweetheart," Regina whispers softly. "It's okay to feel broken. We'll take it one step at a time, and I'll be here to help you heal. You're not alone, and we'll get through this together."

As you share this tender moment with your mom, the quiet atmosphere is suddenly pierced by a soft yet insistent "Mama!" echoing down the hallway. You both turn in surprise and there, in her little pajamas, is Kaia toddling towards you with outstretched arms.

"Mama!" Kaia repeats with more urgency, her eyes searching for you. Regina smiles warmly and loosens her embrace, allowing you to respond to Kaia's call. The interruption brings a gentle reminder of the love that surrounds you, and you reach down to scoop up your daughter.

"Hi, baby bird," you murmur, snuggling into Kaia's neck. The familiar scent of your little one and the warmth of her embrace bring an immediate sense of comfort. Kaia giggles in response, her small hands reaching up to pat your back as if reciprocating the affection.

“You’re doing a wonderful job with her,” Your mother comments.

"Thank you, Mama," you say, looking at Regina with a small smile. The words carry a deep appreciation for the acknowledgment of your efforts as a parent. “I keep wondering if I’m doing the right thing for her. Keeping her away from her father. I know she misses him. She looks for him sometimes.”

Regina maintains a gentle gaze, understanding the complexity of your emotions. "It's not an easy situation, Y/n," she responds empathetically. "You're doing what you believe is best for Kaia, and that's what matters most. It's natural to question and worry, but you're a wonderful mother, and your decisions are made with her well-being in mind."

You look back toward Kaia to avoid crying again.

“You're creating a stable and loving environment for her, and that's invaluable,” She says.

“Natasha said that too,” You murmured.

“Natasha is a smart woman,” She comments. She hesitates for a second before saying. “She’s also a kind woman. Allowing you to stay here with her and everything.” There’s something suggestive about her tone and you pick up on it immediately.  Your curiosity is piqued, and you meet her gaze, sensing there might be more to her words than meets the eye.

"Yeah, Natasha has been incredibly supportive," you respond cautiously, watching Regina for any further cues about what she might be alluding to. The air in the room holds a tinge of intrigue as you wait for her to elaborate on her subtle suggestion. “She’s a really good friend.”

There's a flicker of understanding in Regina's eyes, and you wonder if she's probing for more information or simply expressing curiosity about your relationship with Natasha.

The air in the room holds a subtle tension, and you're left with the anticipation of Regina's next words, waiting to see if she'll delve further into the topic or let it rest.

“I approve,” She says simply. You’re a bit surprised at that.

Regina's simple declaration catches you by surprise, and you raise an eyebrow, processing her words. "You approve?" you repeat, seeking clarification.

She nods with a small smile. "Yes, I do. Natasha seems like a good influence, and it's clear she cares about you and Kaia. Having a supportive friend is important, especially in times like these. I'm glad you have her," Regina adds, her approval carrying a sense of understanding and acceptance.

“Yeah, me too,” You nod.

---> next part

[queenslimeball]

Nothing's changed

Gator Tillman x fem!reader

Requested by; @keerygal

Contents; fluff, angst

Summary; Gator and Y/n have always had feelings for each other, but they've always been forced apart.

Gator and Y/n giggled and laughed as they ran away from the school building. Usually, students who did this would've been escaping to smoke weed, perhaps, or something illegal along those lines. But these two? Just two best friends, sneaking away because they never had the time elsewhere. While all their peers were cooped up inside, they'd be having the time of their lives.

Gator turned to back up towards the fence they would be passing through, holding out his hand to Y/n, which she took fondly. "Been dreamin' of this." He said before he tripped over something and stumbled, dragging her with him slightly.

They both laughed as Gator stabilised himself. "I bet it went smoother than that in your dream." She teased him. He chuckled, using her hand to tug her into his chest. His back hit the fence as his arms wrapped around her waist.

"I'll show you jus' how it went." Gator replied, lowering his voice to an oddly seductive tone. His head tilted, eyes half open as his gaze drifted down to her lips. Y/n felt the sudden magnetism that drew her in closer and closer until he was kissing her.

Y/n kissed back, of course. It's what she wanted to do for years up until that point. Gator felt himself become pressed into the fence as she leant into him– to which he embraced by pulling her closer by her hips. As their mouths moved hungrily against one another, he began to kick the bottom of the fence in with his heel. Once he felt it go through, he pulled away, eyes meeting hers with a sly wink.

He crouched down to make the hole big enough for both of them to fit through. Happy with it, he moved aside and gestured for Y/n to go through. "After you, gorgeous."

Y/n laughed and crawled through, followed by Gator. They'd have a lot of explaining to do later. They both knew that, but it didn't stop either of them from practically pouncing on one another the second they both rose to their feet. Gator pressed Y/n into the fence from this side, lifting her up as he did. He kissed her neck as they began to grab at each other's clothes.

Gator thinks back to that moment a lot. He doesn't know if Y/n does, but he doesn't blame her. It has been 10 years since then. A lot has changed about... everything. They're not the same people they were as kids or teenagers. They obviously don't chase each other around in Y/n's parents' garden anymore, and they definitely can't have secret sex anymore.

Y/n is engaged to Nick. Gator doesn't like Nick. Not for any real, understandable reason. Just because of jealousy. He thinks he's subtle about how he feels, but he always has that sharp, blunt tone when he speaks to him and that piercing, threatening look in his eyes. So, really, he's not good at hiding it.

Neither does he have an understandable reason to want to leave the girl he's with – not by choice, really. He wouldn't be with Haisley by choice. But Roy, his father, set him up with her because of some connection Gator can never understand.

Gator doesn't like Haisley. She's too "mouthy," as he says to his coworkers, and is way too interested in his life to the point Gator feels she's faking it. He would break up with her if he had the choice. But he doesn't.

What's even more annoying to Gator is the fact that Haisley and Nick are cousins. So, when the Tillmans are invited to the McGregor's event, that means Nick is going to be there, too. It's not surprising to Gator, considering the small-town-closeness, but the girl of his dreams is going to marry into his family — and not through him.

On that miserable winter's night, Gator finds himself hiding in a corner throughout most of the party. He's not talked to one person so far, and it's clear considering he doesn't even know who's birthday or baby shower, anniversary, or whatever, it is.

He spots Haisley entering the room he's in and instantly looks for a different place to go. Before he's even moved, she waves at him and turns to end the conversation with whoever. While she's distracted, Gator dashes into the crowd and uses the bodies of people to disguise himself from her.

Gator doesn't let himself get caught, so therefore pushes himself out into the front yard, face instantly bitten by the frosty air. He allows himself to take a breath now that he's away from everything.

"Don't blame you," Y/n's voice interrupts his calm. He's slightly startled and looks towards her. She's sitting on the porch, clearly facing the same problems as him.

"Huh?" Is all that slips from Gator, every rational answer escaping his mind.

"For leaving." She continues. "I couldn't stand it, either."

"Oh, yeah." Gator murmurs, looking down at his boots. "Shit in there."

Gator can't find much to say as his gaze drifts back to Y/n. Her mouth is moving, but his ears don't pick up on the sound, distracted by every detail — from her face to her clothes. He doesn't know what she just said, but he sees her pat the spot next to her, so he walks over, shoes thumping down on the decaying, creaking spruce planks, until he lowers himself down next to her.

Y/n continues to talk, and Gator doesn't quite know why he isn't listening. He wants to, sure. But his mind doesn't seem to care. He just blurts out whatever bullshit his brain wants her to hear. "D'you want to be Nick's girl?"

Y/n is astounded by the sudden question. She stops talking about the funny story from her job and stares blankly at Gator. "What?"

"Like... d'you really wanna be with him for the rest of your life?" Gator elaborates.

"Well... I did say yes, so.." Y/n trails off.

"Don't sound too confident." Gator mumbles back, looking away from her.

"Gator, what's this all about?" She questions him.

Gator sighs. He doesn't want to have to actually say it, but he will. "You don't wan' him. I know you don't. I see it in your eyes. He's got a good reputation. So what. Your daddy likes him. So what." He spits, looking back at her. "You want me."

"Gator..." Y/n doesn't know what to say because it's true. "What about Haisley—"

"I don't give a fuck about Haisley!" Gator cries, grabbing a hold of her hands and squeezing them tightly. "I don't give a fuck about Nick, my dad, my job... I want you!" He says firmly, eyes pleading.

Y/n is speechless. Despite, Gator continues.

"I want everything to be the way it was... me 'n' you against the world." He says, a hint of sadness emerging in his tone. He doesn't want to sit there and do nothing as Y/n goes on to marry someone else. He couldn't live with himself if he let that happen. All he can do is plead with her.

"It can still be that way." She replies gently, brushing a thumb along Gator's hand. Gator's glazed-over eyes flit up to meet hers, a sudden weakness in those doe eyes.

"Really?" He questions.

"Really." She reassures. "I still love you, Gate. Nothing's changed."

••••••

Gator gets home from a long day of work, kicking off his boots at the door. He quietly makes his way through the house in Chicago he and Y/n had worked for so tirelessly ever since they ran from their old lives. He hears her voice in the lounge and peeks around the doorframe.

Y/n sits on the floor with their two children as they play. She seems to be playing with them to entertain them, and Gator can't help but marvel at the sight from afar. He loves watching her with their kids, glad another is on the way, too.

He decides to make his presence known and walks into the room. The kids notice him, and bright smiles appear on their faces. "Daddy!" They yell, running over as fast as their little legs will carry them into his shins.

"Hey, lil' ones." Gator smiles, crouching down to wrap his arms around both of them. Just between their heads, he can see Y/n's smile directed at him.

"We rescued horsey from the dragon." The kids tell him, of which he feigns offence and gasps. There were many ours of playtime that led to Horsey being kidnapped from them. Gator doesn't mind, though, because he'll just make up more adventures for them to go on.

"Without me?" He questions, looking at them both. "I told you to wait f'me 'cause it would be dangerous." He tries to look serious, but a grin breaks out.

"Momma sacrificed herself for us, we were okay."

"Nooooo!" Gator laughs, looking at Y/n, who lays on the floor, playing dead. "We didn't need her, anyway."

"Hey!"

"Shut up, you're dead."

[paper-crab]

3 times

summary: 3 times Matt helped you, and 1 time you helped Matt

warnings: exhausted college students, lots of crying, sleep deprivation, mentions of not eating, basically the college experience.

wc: 2291

for a chris girl i sure can’t seem to write anything about him

If you were to go back to the beginning, it’d make this an incredibly long story. In your sophomore year of college, you had decided living in an off-campus apartment would be a good idea; financially speaking. You were determined to get out of your parents basement and live your life for the most minimal price possible.

That’s how you ended up with Matt, in a homey 2 room apartment.

Matt was an environmental science major whose brothers had dropped out of college, leading him to finding a new place with one less room and with a new roommate to cut down on costs: you. It was convenient, and out of the candidates he’d interviewed, him and his brothers liked you the most.

He was a quiet roommate, and that made it easy to study without getting overwhelmed with your surroundings. The only time he made noise was when he invited his brothers over, and he was always sure to ask.

In turn, he expected the same of you. Environmental science isn’t an easy route to take, so calm work conditions were appreciated.

Despite your best efforts at improving each other's study time, things happen. You’re human; sometimes you get overwhelmed.

Three times Matt helped you, and one time that you helped him.

One

It was a random Tuesday evening of your first semester. You were stacked with homework for a music class; a required elective credit that was far too demanding. You were juggling an essay on the history of jazz, a report on a classical concert the college orchestra had done, and a small quiz on musical notation.

To put it simply, you felt fucked.

You were itching to take a break, feeling the tears flood your eyes, but you just opened the next tab- opting to finish your jazz essay rather than prioritize your well being. It’s funny how college does that to you.

You start typing, the clacking of the keys feeling entirely too loud. They were sticking in odd places, and the words just wouldn’t flow smoothly.

When you reread what you’d typed, it just felt wrong; like when you trip over a tiny pebble instead of smoothly kicking it to the side.

You switch tabs, to the concert report. A minimum of 3 pages accepted, and you have half of a page. Seriously, what are you even supposed to say? You only have so many ways to describe the resonance of the string section before it becomes entirely too repetitive and meaningless to your report. Now it’s not just the keys that are wrong, the brightness of the screen is beginning to bother you, but if you turn it down you can’t seem to see well enough.

It felt wrong; like when you see a perfect pile of leaves and go to step on them, but rather than hearing the satisfying crunch of leaves, you’re left with some wet mush stuck to the bottom of your boots.

You switch tabs, the tears threatening to spill out. Your vision blurs slightly as you open the quiz and begin reading the questions.

What the hell does this even mean?

Still, you trudge through, clicking random answers and praying to some god that you get about 80%.

When you finish with only 10 of the 15 questions being right, you’re a push away from breaking down.

“Can I come in?” Matt knocks. You want to nod, not trusting your voice to carry your words, but he can’t see you. “Yeah.” You say, voice slightly cracking. He opens the door, not expecting what he sees; you, sitting at your desk, an abundance of tears about to tip over.

Surprised, he hesitates, then asks, “What’s wrong?” in the softest voice you’ve ever heard. That’s all it takes for the sobs to begin, while you choke out some form of an explanation.

“Everything’s just… not right. I’m overwhelmed, I don’t understand my assignments; I’m lost.”

He listens attentively, stepping closer to you as you pour out your feelings, offering a comforting presence. “I’m sorry,” You say, too upset to be embarrassed to be seen in this state.

“It’s okay,” He says soothingly, placing a hand on your shoulder. “We can figure this out together. What class is it for?”

When you tell him, his eyes light up. “I think Chris took that one before he dropped out! Let me ask him to send over some of the work.”

“You don’t have to do that,” You start to say, but when he sees the tears get a little lighter, he decides it’s worth it. “I want to help.” His expression softens more, as if that’s possible. “Now relax a bit, we can do this.”

Two

The second time he helps you, you’re cramming a week before midterms. Realistically, you know you have time before it becomes a critical do or die situation, but that doesn’t do much to quell the panic rising in your chest.

You’ve done the required work, you know, so you should pass your midterms without a hitch. You reflect on the work you’ve done, hoping it’d help you gain some confidence, but it manages to do the opposite.

‘Maybe I should have done more?’ You think, self doubt and anxiety begin to creep into your head. Your hands start to feel clammy, and the pages of the textbook stick together a bit; it makes it that much more difficult to read.

You just feel stuck, like a jammed zipper in your favorite hoodie.

“Hey,” Matt walks in, not looking up. “We’re ordering Wingstop, you want something?”

“No.” You sniffle, expecting him to turn around and leave.

“What’s wrong? Talk to me.” He says, sweetly, pocketing his phone. You wipe away a little tear, trying your best to chuckle and lighten the mood. “Stressed over midterms. You know how it is.”

“Yeah, I get it. You’ve got time for a break though, right? Choose your favorite flavor, my treat, and come watch a movie with us, okay?”

You stand up from your squeaky desk chair and shoot him a smile. “That sounds nice. I could use a break, thanks Matt.”

“Of course.” He tells you, outstretching his arms. “Any time.”

The gesture makes your heart melt, and you feel overwhelming gratitude. “I appreciate it. Let’s make it a movie night then.”

Three

The third time Matt helps you is the one you hold closest to your heart.

You’re struggling with a group project for a business class you took; regrettably. You’ve messaged the group chat you made at least three times to no avail.

“There’s a frat party tonight, can’t make it” or “I’m not feeling well today, won’t be there.”

All you’re trying to do is get the group together so you don’t have to assign work to them like a kindergarten teacher. So, on top of your regular coursework, you’re stuck dealing with 3 other adults acting like 5 year olds.

You’re ready to rip out your hair.

Making one last ditch effort to save your sanity, you send out another, more pushy, text to the group this time. When you’re left on read by all 3 members, you groan loudly. You check over the assignment and do the work of putting it into parts, allocating each member of your group a task.

You give yourself the hardest part, because obviously, these people are incompetent. You shake your head, drafting a second message to the group chat that informs them of their role.

Suddenly, the two week deadline doesn’t feel like it’s closing in as quickly. You allow yourself to relax, receiving some thumbs up from your group members.

A week and a half later, you feel ready to assemble each part into a final project. It could be postponed, but if everyone was done, why not turn it in early? You send a message asking for everyone’s part of the assignment, and only one person responds, sending her part of the assignment.

You try not to stress about it, reasoning that there are 3 more days until it’s due. Maybe they’re just a little behind; so, you ask the next day, and the next, with no replies.

The night before it’s due, you realize you’re going to have to do the 2 slackers parts yourself. You text the other girl who did her part, asking if she can do an extra one. When she tells you she doesn’t have time, you want to explode.

“I don’t have time either jackass!” You say out loud, resisting the urge to type out a strongly worded text.

Your professor is known for being ruthless, especially when it comes to group projects, and you can’t afford anything lower than a C+ on it without your overall grade being tanked.

You break out in a cold sweat, opening several tabs on your computer as you begin to work on the missing pieces of your homework. There’s a reason you were given 3 weeks and not just one day to finish the work, and that was as a group.

You can’t help but begin bawling, still trying to see through the screen. The words were all fuzzy through the hazy mist of tears veiled over your eyes.

Your sobs aren’t even choked at this point, the familiar feeling of being overburdened taking over again.

Matt can hear, and feel, your frustration from his spot on the living room couch. He immediately stands up, concernedly making his way to your room.

He offers three quick knocks. “It’s me,”

“Come in.” You tell him, your voice quiet and strained.

Matt enters with a tender look. “How can I help?” He asks, not even questioning your distressed state.

“Don’t worry about it, I don’t need to make your life harder too.” You try to sound confident in your decision, but your voice falters.

“Just tell me what’s going on, I’m positive that I can help you. That’s what friends are for,” He offers a gentle smile, stepping closer to you. When you explain the situation, he feels angry for you. “That’s dicked,”

“Tell me about it. Now I’m stuck doing it all, and it’s so much work.”

“Let me do half of it.”

“Matt, I really can’t ask you to do that. I’m sure you’ve got something better to do.”

“Nothing better to do than help you.” He says, grabbing one of your hands. “Let’s get comfy and finish this shit.”

Matt stayed up with you until 3 in the morning to finish that god forsaken assignment. When you were done with the work, you turned it in and cuddled into Matt, falling asleep quickly.

“Thank you,” You whispered

“Of course.”

One

To put it lightly, Matt was stressed. He was juggling his regular coursework, along with the added pressure of finding applicable internships. His dark circles were getting worse, making his lack of sleep apparent. His hair was messier than usual, and he was sure his clothes were beginning to stink. He had been glued to his bed, several textbooks scattered on the surface.

His laptop was open, overflowing with tabs containing internship applications, and the smell of coffee and abundance of energy drink cans was not helping to clear his mind.

You didn’t know what to do to help him.

“Hey, I’m going out. Can I bring you anything back?” You ask, eyes roaming his face and body.

“No, I’m good.” He says, not even stopping to look up at you. You frown.

“Okay…” You say skeptically, dragging out the ‘y’. You leave the house, still struggling to get Matt’s pitiful appearance out of your mind. Your friends can tell you’re far off, in another world. You’re distracted, thinking of what you can do to help alleviate some of the weight on Matt’s shoulders; like he always does for you.

“I’m gonna head out,” You tell your friend, offering her a sympathetic look. Normally, she’d stop to argue with you, but you’ve been off. On your way home, you stop by Matt’s favorite restaurant, taking extra care to order his meal exactly the way he likes it.

When you get back, he’s in the exact same position as he was earlier, give or take a few new energy drink cans. He looks miserable, and you’re willing to bet he feels even worse.

“I got you some food,” You say in a sing-song tone, trying to get him to acknowledge you.

“Great.” He says, nose still buried in one of his many text books. He still doesn’t look up.

You place the food on his nightstand, leaving the room to grab a trash bag so you can pick up his litter. He doesn’t even notice that you entered the room.

“Matt, you need to eat. It’s going to get cold.”

“Can’t.” He mumbles, voice weak with exhaustion.

You throw the trash bag out of the room, turning back to face Matt.

“Matt, please? When was the last time you ate, or slept, or moved from this spot.” You ask, concern shining through. When he finally looks up, you notice how bloodshot his eyes are, as they begin to fill with tears. “I don’t know,”

“Hey, hey, it’s okay.” You say, crawling over to him, careful not to mess up his organized chaos. He buries his head in your neck, wrapping his arms around your waist as he audibly begins to cry.

“It’s okay, Matt. Take a break, you need to eat and drink some water, and take a nap.” You tell him, “You’re not a failure for needing to pause and take care of yourself.”

“I don’t have time,” He tells you, lifting his heavy head from your neck. “I can’t.”

“You do have time, Matt. Let me help you like you help me.”

[thefirst3chapters]

Overanalyzing the Danes family again and thinking about how they react to change:

Liz appears to have an affinity for material objects. When Luke goes to Liz and TJ's place in S7, they have lots of Renaissance faire decor, supplies for making jewelry, quite a few other decorative items, and what appears to be a sizable Beanie Babies collection. That could just be their style, but it's interesting that Luke mentions in S4 that Liz has ended up in situations where a guy leaves with her belongings and clears out her bank account. Perhaps having a lot of physical things around her that aren't very expensive and probably aren't family heirlooms makes her feel safe and gives her a sense of control when everything else changes. Those things might not be as likely to be stolen, and if they go missing she can acquire more.

In S6, Liz tells Luke after a successful run selling jewelry that she doesn't know what to do with all the money, and Luke's suggestion of putting it in a bank hadn't occurred to her. Maybe when Liz came across some money she liked going to thrift stores and getting as much as she could afford. I'm picturing her finding yet another lava lamp or doll and saying, "I feel a connection with this one, don't you think it belongs with us?" while four-year-old Jess, who has been dragging around Curious George Learns the Alphabet for months, stares at her blankly.

Most of the things Jess seems to value are sources of ideas (books and music) or have a clear practical purpose (his clothes, watch, and car). One notable exception is the bracelets he has in addition to the one he temporarily keeps from Rory, and there's that ring he has in AYITL. Maybe there's a story there, and it's possibly an interesting connection to Liz's interest in jewelry (cue the everlasting Gilmore Girls theme of being like your parents even if you don't realize it or try to resist it). Twice we see Jess moving out of town with just what he can carry, and it happened offscreen when he went back to New York. Luke points out that Jess doesn't have much when first gets to Stars Hollow, but he doesn't seem to mind and says that Liz will send the rest later. In that episode, Liz tells Luke it will be that Friday. When all this stuff arrives 10 episodes later, there is of course comedic value in Luke's frustration at being trapped by mountains of boxes, but it's interesting that there is so much, and Jess doesn't seem to care about most of it. Did Liz think Jess would be comforted by this in the way she might be? Even with the extra space when the addition is built, a lot of those things realistically would not have been kept. Jess doesn't seem to own much besides books when he's in his New York apartment either.

Liz is more gregarious than Luke and Jess, but she also appears less affected when people she loves are absent. Liz calls Luke to see if Jess got to town alright in his first episode but famously doesn't ask about Jess going back to New York for the holidays. In S4, Liz is happy to see Jess both times he is in town, but she doesn't go out of her way to find out where he is or if he's okay. In S6, when she projects her concerns by telling TJ that he's going to mess up their child and throws things at him, she tells Luke that TJ left her like all the guys before him, but she's calm about it because of her "new come-what-may philosophy." Luke's the one who intervenes and gets TJ to come back while Liz is busy making new friends, and then Liz is glad to reconcile with him. Maybe Liz's apparent ease with all of this and her inclination toward meeting new people is how she's gotten through all of the losses she's experienced. She's predisposed to moving on.

Jess isn't social by nature, and as a teenager he's extra resistant to being around other people. However, in the two examples we see, once he gets emotionally attached to someone, it's for life. Being estranged from Luke and Rory affects him deeply and for a long time, and when he reconciles with them he makes it clear how important they both are to him. When he's working at Truncheon, he and his co-workers are friends, and he's conversational enough to be a successful businessperson in that environment, but April still notes that "men in this family aren't chatty" when she meets him.

For Luke, the circle of people he likes being around is small, but to those people he's extensively loyal ("Once Luke Danes is in your life, he's in your life forever"). The absence of someone he cares about clearly distresses him, and he tends to seek solitude in response. His apartment isn't cluttered, but he seems to have kept high school trophies, and he has a strong emotional attachment to things that are connected to his family: the diner, the "William's Hardware" sign, the boat, and his grandmother's bedroom furniture. Luke's life has been a bit more stable because he's the one who stuck around to take care of his parents and run the family business, and he's often hesitant to accept change. When metaphorical storms uproot Liz and Jess and take them elsewhere, they have contrasting coping mechanisms that they take with them while Luke stays behind and tries to hold down the fort, and eventually Jess finds stable footing and is able to help him. Or something like that.

[saturnnelahy]

Can I get a BTS reaction to their child (baby, like 1 or 2 year old) giggling and laughing to them looking at themselves in the mirror? I just saw this happening. The dad was pushing the cart close and far away from the mirror, and the kid was DYING of laughter

Hello whitefoxgirl, I loved your request, it gave me lots of good ideas!!!! But I'm going to have to split it into two parts because I'm very sick at the moment so it's very difficult to write, I promise to try and get the rest up as soon as I can!!! I hope you like it 💜💜

Just a Happy Day:

𝓜𝓲𝓷 𝓨𝓸𝓸𝓷𝓰𝓲:

Since the birth of your daughter with Min Yoongi you didn't have much free time and you didn't have a day to enjoy without the responsibility of taking care of a baby, your husband did as much as he could to help with everything, but it was still very tiring. Wanting to please her, he took a day off and after a lot of persuasion he managed to convince her to go out with her friends while he stayed at home to take care of Jiyeon, as the girl was already 10 months old and always remained calm and calm with her father. He decided to accept, despite the uncomfortable feeling of being away from his little girl. 

It was already getting dark when you returned with several bags of things you had bought for yourself and Jiyeon. Everything seemed quiet and very clean despite the few toys scattered around the living room and the large sofas, which was strange since there was always a little girl running around and filling the rooms with her sweet delicate voice and loud laughter that made your days happier.

As you climb the steps of the staircase leading to the second floor, you hear a low moan coming from one of the bedrooms, which catches your attention and makes you go up faster and try your best not to make a sound as you walk up to the door of the suite, you open the door just a little to peek at what they're both doing and you end up looking at the most adorable scene in the world. Yoong is with Jiyeon in his arms standing in front of the mirror playing together, he tilts his body so that his face disappears from the mirror and then returns to his previous position, letting out a "buh" that makes the girl laugh and clap her hands.

𝓙𝓾𝓷𝓰 𝓗𝓸𝓼𝓮𝓸𝓴:

After a tiring morning cleaning the apartment where you lived with Hoseok and your 6-month-old daughter Yeonju, taking the opportunity to sort out some things to donate and the presents she had received the last time your husband's friends came to visit with their children, you decided to lie down on the sofa for a few minutes just to rest but ended up dozing off for a couple of hours because you were so tired. When you woke up it was already afternoon, the sun was low and your body was less sore, but you were no longer on the sofa but on the big bed in your bedroom. Looking sideways towards the huge closet with a large mirror on the door, you saw your daughter's baby carriage with the little girl clapping her hands and laughing loudly while her father appeared and disappeared from the mirror.

Hoseok hummed a tune as he jumped in front of the mirror and then away. Every time the man disappeared, the little girl let out a loud laugh and clapped her hands in excitement at the "magic" her father was performing, which made her father do it more and more enthusiastically. Until he noticed you looking and turned towards you, a little flushed.

- Look love, she loves watching me do magic - he said excitedly before going back to playing with her, only this time determined to make you laugh too.

𝓚𝓲𝓶 𝓝𝓪𝓶𝓳𝓸𝓸𝓷:

With a baby at home, it was hard to find a quiet place in the house other than the library where Namjoon went to think, read and work for a while, which he did at least once a day after making sure his wife didn't need him and spending a lot of time playing with little Jae, who was a mini copy of his father.

Today the man had been locked in the library for a few hours working on a new song, but he hadn't been able to make much progress on the track and was starting to get frustrated when he heard a knock on the door and saw his wife open the door showing only her face.

- Hi, honey, I know you're busy, but could you take a look at Jae for a few minutes for me? - Yn asks with a cute smile, Namjoon smiles and nods, going to the door to take the chubby baby from his wife's hands. Jae smiles excitedly and holds out his arms to his father.

Despite being a six-month old baby, Jae is big and strong, always hungry and making a mess, his little brown eyes sparkling with love every time he sees his father. Namjoon holds him in his arms and kisses his chubby cheek, smiling at him, but the happiness of father and son only lasts a few minutes before the little one starts to throw a tantrum, whimpering as he flaps his arms in irritation. The man tries everything to calm him down, but it seems impossible. The father walks with the baby in his arms while rocking him slightly but he continues to grumble, until the man passes in front of the mirror and the baby lets out a low chuckle but starts crying again when Namjoon turns away, realizing this he starts playing with Jae through the mirror while humming the song he was working on.

When yn returned to the room, he found them playing together and laughing with each other in an adorable scene, because both of them, apart from their looks, had very similar laughs. Namjoon always looked immensely radiant when he had his son in his arms, and it was impossible not to get emotional watching him.

Sorry for any mistakes, I hope you like it 💜

[television-overload]

of our own making

(an X-Files fanfic)

Chapter 24/34 - waiting room

[Read on AO3]

Today, like most days in the past week, has been absurdly unproductive, and it’s barely eleven in the morning. They’d been up late the night before thanks to an impromptu baby shower thrown by the Lone Gunmen, with Frohike at the helm, and spent the first hour of their day in a meeting with the two new agents they’d selected to take over the X-Files, who it turns out, are old friends. It's like it was meant to be.

Other than that, they’ve just been attempting to revive themselves with caffeine, to varying degrees of success.

The ‘baby shower’ from the night before is a term that should be applied loosely, in this case. Mostly, the three stooges just crashed the apartment at half past nine bearing a puzzling array of gifts and some pungent takeout food that thankfully tasted better than it smelled, but Scully appreciated the thought, nonetheless. She could tell that Mulder had no hand in it, given how surprised he looked when they came knocking on their door. It certainly wasn’t what she’d always envisioned when she thought of her hypothetical future baby shower, but she wouldn’t have expected or wanted anything less in this life she’s made for herself.

How could she have known seven years ago that her new partner’s weird friends would one day be some of her closest friends, too?

Leaned back in his desk chair, Mulder tosses another pencil into the ceiling, shrugging when Scully shoots him an unimpressed look. It’s not like there’s a security deposit on this office that they need to get back. The new agents can just get the ceiling tiles replaced, if it bothers them that much. Maybe they’ll come to realize the genius of it as a form of decoration and mental stimulation. 

Or maybe not, if the look on Scully’s face is anything to go by.

Both of them startle at the shrill tone sounding from Scully’s cell phone, causing Mulder to nearly poke himself in the eye with the next pencil he was planning to use as ammunition.

Scully feels her stomach drop to the floor. Nobody ever calls her cell during work hours…

“Hello?” she breathes into the phone.

“Miss Scully?”

“Yes?”

“This is Wanda with the Connect and Care Adoption Agency.”

Scully’s body goes numb, her hand clutching her mobile device tight so as not to drop it. “Hi, Wanda. How are you?” she says in a shaky voice that she works hard to control. This could either be good news or bad, and she can’t tell which. Mulder watches her with concern but says nothing, merely offering his silent support.

“Well, it’s always a good day when I’ve got good news to share!” Wanda says. “You’ve got a healthy baby girl, 6 pounds, 4 ounces. Born at 10:13 this morning.”

Now, Scully really almost drops the phone.

“She’s here?” she asks, her eyes flicking up to meet Mulder’s, conveying what words, at the moment, cannot.

“Yes ma’am, she is. And she is just beautiful.” Scully draws in a shuddering breath, feeling her heart race furiously in her chest. “Now, there’s a few things to finalize here on our end, but if you’re able to get here in the next hour or so, we’ll get you checked into a room and then you can meet your baby.”

“Mulder,” Scully breathes, reaching out for his hand across the desk. He holds her hand tight, silently promising not to let go. “Um, we’re on our way,” she speaks into the phone, managing to thank Wanda and end the call before bursting into tears. Mulder leaps from his chair and circles the desk, kneeling in front of her and pulling her into his arms without a second thought. She buries her face in his shoulder, squeezing tight.

“She’s here,” are the only words her brain is able to signal to her mouth.

“She’s here,” Mulder agrees, choking back emotion. His hand finds the base of her neck, tangling in the roots of her hair. “Let’s go see her.”

-.-.-

Mulder’s hands shake as he locks up the basement office for what will probably be his last time as the agent in charge of the X-Files. He smiles shyly up at Scully. She looks more nervous than he’s ever seen her before, and they’ve been in some pretty intense situations together, so that’s saying something.

“Come on,” he says, tilting his head toward the elevator. She offers a small smile and follows him, sliding her hand into his as they begin the trek down the hallway.

The pace at which they walk through the corridors on their way out of the building turns a few heads. They breeze past other agents without a second glance, missing the way they look at them oddly.

Spookies are up to something again. What’s new?

They’re almost to the entrance when Skinner nearly walks right into them, carrying a batch of manila folders in his hand.

“Oh, hey, I was just on my way down to you,” he says. “There are some files I want you to look over, just some budget stuff—”

“Not now, Skinman,” Mulder says, cutting him off. “Better places to be.”

“Where could you possibly be going at 11 a.m. on a Tuesday?” he asks, looking at them in confusion. Then, his eyes widening, “Oh.”

“The agency called,” Mulder says, a beaming smile spreading across his face. He places a hand on Scully’s shoulder, glancing down at her for a moment before looking back at their boss. “We’re on our way to the hospital right now.”

Skinner sputters, a smile of his own pulling at his lips. “That’s– that’s fantastic news, agents! Forget anything I said about budget documents. It would be more effective to just put them right into the shredder anyway. Besides,” he smiles, reaching a hand out for a handshake, which Mulder reciprocates, “you’ve got much more important things to worry about.” He gives Scully a hug and pulls back, beaming at them. “Well, get out of here! Don’t worry about family leave, I’ll take care of it.”

Mulder nods, grateful for the man’s support in all of this. They’d made the right decision to tell him, all those months ago.

“Oh, and agents—” he adds.

They pause, turning back to face their boss.

“Congratulations.” 

 -.-.-

It’s a delicate balance between driving as fast as he can to get to the hospital, and not wanting to get in a car wreck on the way over. The radio stays off for the duration of the trip to Annapolis. There’s enough going on in their heads that the additional noise is neither welcome nor necessary.

To think: they’d woken up that morning like it was any other day, not knowing that this was the day their lives would be forever changed. They’d danced around each other in the kitchen, grabbing a slice of toast or a bagel for the road, coffee to-go, their typical routine.

Mulder had started the day as little more than a glorified bachelor (notwithstanding the wife he technically has, which makes classifying his relationship status a little iffy), but now he’s a father. That’s what he is, right? Even if he hasn’t met the kid yet, she’s going to be his. His and Scully’s. They just have to fill out a little paperwork, and… voilà! He loves her fiercely already.

“You have the bag, right?” Scully asks, her fingers nervously picking at her cuticles.

“In the back seat,” he answers. It’s in the back seat where it has been for the last two weeks, holding everything they might need for when this call finally came, as she well knows.

“Are you freaking out?”

He chuckles, chancing a quick glance in her direction. “A little bit. You?”

“Mm-hmm,” she nods.

Aw, Scully.

He wants to reassure her that they can handle this, but he’s pretty sure that nothing he says will help until they’re actually holding their baby in their arms. Some things you just can’t be prepared for. You can only face it head on when the time comes.

They follow the signs to the hospital parking lot, and before they know it, they’re standing in front of the automatic doors leading into the building.

This is it. Their time as partners, just the two of them, is over. They’ll enter this building as Agents Mulder and Scully, FBI, and the next time they leave it, they’ll be someone’s mom and dad. A family of three.

Now Mulder knows how Neil Armstrong felt jumping out of that lunar lander.

One giant leap for spooky-kind.

“Ready?” he asks, gazing down at his best friend, his better half. The only person crazy enough to do this with him.

She looks up at him, her eyes sparkling.

“Wait—”

His brows furrow, but before he can ask her what they're waiting for, she reaches up to his collar and extracts the chain that holds his ring. The corner of his mouth pulls up in a smile as he realizes what she's doing, and he reaches out to do the same, pulling the necklace carefully over her head.

She doesn't say a word as she undoes the clasp and removes the simple wedding band. She merely holds out her hand for his, and just like she had done that day at the courthouse, she slides the ring onto his finger.

He looks down at the diamond ring he'd bought for her, holding it in the palm of his hand. It's time for it to take its rightful place, not hidden away any longer. His eyes meet hers, and onto her finger it goes.

Then, with a guiding hand placed on her lower back, Mulder steps forward, hiking the hospital bag up over his shoulder.

They’ve been through so much together, and these rings prove it. They’ll take this final, monumental step together too.

They’re greeted at the front desk by a nice looking nurse, who makes quick work of checking them in. Another worker appears moments later to collect them from the waiting room, and leads them to an elevator that will take them up to the maternity ward. As the doors close, Mulder slips his hand into Scully’s wordlessly, offering his silent support.

Once they arrive at the correct floor, they’re shown to a private room, where they’re given wristbands to wear with “Baby Girl Mulder” written on them along with a corresponding ID number. It’s a family room, complete with a bed, sofa, chair, and large window overlooking the parking lot. This is where they’ll be staying for the next couple of days. He’s stayed in worse hospital rooms, so he can’t complain. This is luxury, by comparison.

The nurse tells them to wait there, and Mulder follows Scully to the couch, taking a seat despite the restlessness he feels right down to his bones. He’d much rather pace the room like a caged animal, but he knows that will only make Scully more anxious. He settles for cataloging everything the room has to offer while they wait. His eyes land on the empty plastic bassinet in the corner lying in wait for their baby to soon occupy it.

It’s all becoming real.

A gentle knock on the door signals someone’s presence, and a cheery middle-aged woman enters, smiling broadly at the two of them.

“Are you Fox Mulder and Dana Scully?” she asks, reading off a clipboard.

They stand to their feet. “That’s us,” Mulder says, finding his voice first.

The woman nods. “I wanted to formally introduce myself, I’m Wanda, the Director at Connect and Care. We spoke on the phone earlier.”

“Of course. Hi,” Scully says, shaking the woman’s hand in greeting.

Wanda removes her glasses, letting the cat-eye shaped frames hang around her neck from a beaded chain. “Brenda, your caseworker, will be here in a few minutes with your baby,” she says, “I just thought I’d check on you first. How are you feeling?”

Scully looks up at him for a moment before answering, a whole conversation passing between them in that short time that only they can understand.

“A little nervous,” she admits, answering for the both of them. “I, um– I thought we’d get a call when she was on her way.”

That brings out a hearty chuckle from Wanda. “We usually try to, but it seems your little girl was anxious to get here! Can’t say I blame her, it’s an exciting day!”

“So, everything went fine, then?” Mulder asks. He’d read enough pregnancy and delivery books between the IVF days and now to have nightmares about some of the worst possible complications.

“Oh yes,” Wanda assures him. “The nurses said it was one of the fastest deliveries they’ve seen this year!”

Mulder feels that last little ball of worry untangle itself in his stomach. Relief passes over him. She’s here. She’s here, and she’s fine.

Only a little longer.

-.-.-

Wanda looks at her watch, then checks her pager.

“Looks like it’s time,” she says, smiling over at them. “Alright, you two, you just wait right there and Brenda will be right in with your baby in just a few minutes.”

“Okay,” Scully says, hoping her voice isn’t as shaky as it feels.

Mulder squeezes her shoulder, the arm he has wrapped around her being the only sign that he feels as nervous as she does. His face is carefully blank, and though he doesn’t outright avoid eye contact, she can tell he’s barely able to focus on their physical surroundings. No, it seems he’s caught up in a maelstrom of thoughts and emotions just as she is. She wonders if he has a matching knot of anxiety in the pit of his stomach, too.

“This feels unreal,” she whispers, letting out a breathy laugh as he leads her back over to the couch. Once they’re seated, her hand comes to rest on his knee. It grounds her, makes her feel just a little less insane for doing this.

“I know, I can’t believe they’re gonna let us walk out of here with a baby,” he responds.

Opening her mind to extreme possibilities, indeed.

She chuckles and closes her eyes, leaning against him. His hand finds its way to hers, wordlessly intertwining their fingers in a gesture of comfort almost as old as their partnership itself.

“You got the car seat set up, didn’t you?” she asks.

“Car seat, diaper bag, bassinet—everything’s ready, Scully, we got this.”

They’re interrupted by the door squeaking open, and suddenly, Scully’s perception narrows to nothing but Mulder, their case worker, and the bundle of blankets the woman carries in her arms. Everything else fades away.

The pressure on his knee increases as Scully pushes herself to standing, unsure of what to do with her arms. She squeezes his hand once before letting go, and he’s on his feet half a second later, his body practically vibrating with energy at the complete and total awareness of how life-changing this moment is.

Nothing will ever be the same.

“Here she is!” Brenda cheerfully announces as she makes her way across the room, followed by Wanda. 

Scully’s heartbeat quickens as she comes nearer. She can feel her throat closing with tears, and she covers her mouth to stifle a sob. Mulder’s hand presses reassuringly on her back near her shoulder blade, while the other grips her bicep, all but holding her in an upright position.

“Here you go, mama,” Brenda says, and Scully watches in awe as the most perfect, precious baby is placed into her waiting arms. The weight of her is so little, but so right. That phantom feeling she once felt when looking at other women with their babies is finally alleviated. That emptiness, finally filled. 

Finally, finally, she has a baby of her own, one who will one day look up at her and call her “mom.” One who she’ll read bedtime stories to, comfort on stormy nights when the thunder rattles the house, kiss when she falls down and hurts her knee.

Her heart shatters into a million pieces and rebuilds itself all in the measure of a breath.

“I’ve been dreaming about this for so long,” Scully gasps, unable to stifle the sob that escapes her. She feels Mulder’s hands rubbing in comforting strokes, holding her together.

She turns her head to look up at him. His cheeks are wet with tears of his own, but the smile—she’s never seen one quite like it on his face before. So free and full of gratitude. Maybe the closest she ever saw was when she told him her cancer was in remission. Before today, she might have called that the happiest day of her life. But, now…

She closes her eyes and breathes in the moment, her head dipping forward so it rests against Mulder’s chin. He pulls her tighter against him and presses a kiss to her forehead, then another.

No question about it. This is the happiest she has ever been.

~~~

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[333creolelady]

Lady Of The Blue Bakunawa Ch.3

Afab! OC (black) x Roman Reigns (pirate au)

Chapter Warnings: mentions of past discrimination, racism trauma, angst (with happy ending). Minors DNI

Spotify soundtrack here <-

Alternative Playlist Link <-

Next -> chapter 4

<- Back to Masterlist

Songs this chapter : the vote, whisper of a thrill.

Alternative songs this chapter: This night has opened my eyes, Warning sign, Scott street

All reblogs will receive a sneak peak to next week’s chapter.

Jane*

Dinner tonight was extra hearty with root vegetables, soups and thick breads. Dessert was even better per the request of the captain. Baked goods stuffed with cream made from milk. Being on the ship meant using spoilable items first. Jane decided that she would come along for every supply run if it meant getting to try more sweets.

After dinner she headed back to her cabin for a relaxing bath. Roman had Caden delivered the gifts to her cabin despite her insisting to help. When she was finally alone, Jane had time to relish in the beautiful items she now called her own. She scrubbed her skin soft and bathed in the most luxurious scents. Vanilla and peony. She finally got the expensive soap she always wanted with bits of flower encased on the inside. She miraculously found hair products that agreed with her hair which meant that she could finally wear her hair down for a bit. The moisturizer was the icing on the cake. She didn’t have to heat it on her hands in fear of a white cast. The cream was slightly opaque and smooth. It smelled spectacular. Then came the tooth powder which came in different flavors. Never in her life had she heard of tooth cleaners coming in different flavors. Back at home tooth cleaning was bitter, sour and strong. For the first time she could clean her teeth and not grimace at the taste. Mint. Minty tooth powder, a step up from the dull powdery tasting kind she’d been using.

By the time she was finished prepping for bed she realized her arms were sore. Never in all her years had she spent so long grooming herself. Back in London she got 10 minutes in the bathroom after a long day—Even less if she was getting ready for work. She shared a single bathroom with 8 other girls. Now she didn’t have to wait for anyone.

As she added oil to her hair she realized that she enjoyed taking care of herself more than she realized. Now she had time to look at herself in the mirror—really look at herself. The more she stared at her reflection the longer she’d realized how alienated she’d become to herself. Who was the person looking back at her ? With the hustle and bustle of life she never had time to do more than what was necessary.

Where had her 15 year old face gone ? Had the years flown by that quickly ? The baby fat of her cheeks were fading. Her eyes gleamed with a solemn understanding about the world. Her full lips were still there, so was the nose of her great grandmother and the almond upturned eyes of her father. Her long neck reminded her of the regality of her mother. On her face etched not only the pain of her past but distant faces she had no pictures of. It was in her reflection could she see every single person who once loved her. Her grandfather, mother, father and more lived in her features. The longer she looked the more the grief crept towards her. She put the mirror down and wrapped her hair in a silk scarf. She figured it would be better not to end the night in a sad mood. She slowly pulled on a silk nightgown and climbed into bed with a book beside her. She didn’t make it to the next chapter before falling into a deep sleep.

Roman

Roman stared out into the crashing waves trying to decide his next move. Roman never worried much about storms but now things were different. Jane was only just days apart from being terrified of him and everyone on the ship. Now she was to relive the very event that changed her life forever—a storm. This would be the biggest storm of the season which meant a very rocky night for everybody. He hoped that perhaps she could sleep through the storm if the weather turned in his favor. He knew to be realistic when it came to the ocean.

“ Lower the sail and batten down the hatches. Tie up the loose ends and hold fast!”, Roman snaps to his crew. Men climbed up the ropes leading to the sails to lower them.

Roman’s Helmsman Cortez agreed with his decisions as he slowed the ship to an almost complete halt. “ Good thinking Captain. Wouldn’t want to piss her off anymore than she is now”.

Her …meaning the ocean. The ocean was undoubtedly a woman for all the good and the bad it encompassed. It was vital and a mother to all life. The ocean had to be listened to and reasoned with. Where he came from, the ocean is a god. A god that was to be respected in every way possible. While Roman was far away from the stories of his culture after all these years, his love and respect for the ocean remained.

Jane

The ship rocked violently, nearly tossing her from the bed. She sat up in panic and watched her vanity slide around the room. Books and boxes flew as she tried to gain her footing. She grabbed her robe and scrambled to her door, flinging it open to see a rush of men shouting and running around the second floor. This is what she was dreading. Everything seemed to slow down as she watched what felt like the inevitable destruction of this ship.

“ What’s going on ?!”, she yelled from across the room at Caden.

“ We hit a bad storm. We couldn’t sail ahead of it but don’t worry, we’ve got it under control. Get back into your cabin!”, Caden shouts back, covered in water.

It sure didn’t seem like it. Her heart began to race as she headed for the top deck. If this thing was going to sink she’d rather be at the top than the bottom. She raced up the stairs of the ship coming out to see monstrous sized waves coming towards the boat. They were so high they nearly blocked out the light of the moon. Jane froze and she couldn’t seem to catch her breath. Strong arms picked her up and carried her into a warm dim room.

She’s in Roman’s Quarters. He’s covered in water but he seems level headed unlike her. He holds Jane and places her at his table, kneeling in front of her. Her eyes are round and wide with panic. “ Alright, I’ve got you”, he whispers to her and he holds her head in his hands. She’s clutching at her chest, hungry for air.

“ I have to get off! I have to go! ”, she wheezes and begins to pull from his grip. Her feet push into his stomach as she desperately tried to claw herself from him. She was no match for his solid strength however.

“ You’re fine…you’re fine— here. Focus on just my voice. Jane…focus on my voice ”, he soothes. Jane becomes even more belligerent. Her cries fill his cabin and she sounds almost wounded. Her whimpering nearly sweeps away his composure as hot large tears wash over her cheeks.

“ I-I can’t do this again!”, she panicked. Her breathing became even more erratic. Roman shushes her and places a hand on her chest and his.

“ Watch me”, he breathes through his mouth and out of his nose. She follows suit, desperately grasping for relief in the noise of her panic. “ Again”

She follows suit mimicking him the best she can. She’s not in the clear yet but she repeats it over and over again as he whispers soothing words to her. He grabs a handkerchief from his table and wipes her wet face. Roman looks down to see how tightly she was holding his hand.

“ I often forget how scary a storm on a ship can be through the eyes of someone else. The waves are huge and it seems like the water goes on forever. But you must have some faith in us Jane. We’ve been sailing for a very long time. You are safe here”, he reassures her. Another thump of the ship sends her crashing into his arms. She stays there for a few minutes trying to slow the rate of her heart.

When Jane finally calmed down and she became aware of the fact that he’s cradling her face again. He’s looking at her like she’s the most delicate thing in the world. This is the closest they’ve ever been. His thumb brushes softly against her cheek as she studies his face.

He’s insanely beautiful. So beautiful in fact that the scar faintly running from his eye into his eyebrow is simplyan accessory. A few slow breaths later and the roaring in her chest becomes a hum. Her breathing has slowed and the tremble in her hands reduced to a twitch. She lost her train of thought in the depth of his warm eyes. Has his beard grown in the last few days? Why does he smell so good—like cedar and herb laced cigars? God, his hands are so warm and calloused. She only comes back to herself when she realizes their noses we’re about to touch. She goes stiff in his hands with a gasp and he immediately drops them from her face. She stands up and steps back in a panic, stopping just as his door.

“ Jane please forgive me” he reached for her but she walked quickly out of the door before he could finish.

Roman *

A week passed since that night and Jane has regressed back into herself. She doesn’t wear the dresses he bought her. She barely looks at him. If he could turn back the clock and redo that night over he would have. The warmth of her gaze is gone and he’s snapped back to the reality of this situation. Jane does not want to be here and she’s waiting for him to find her a place to stay. Another week of her avoidance passes and he realizes that in three days they’d be sailing up to Totoguam. It was a small island with beautiful infrastructure and a good mixture of people. This would be where he would leave Jane. This is what she wanted.

However, this isn’t what he wanted at all and that scared him. He didn’t know what she thought of him now. Perhaps she thought that his generosity was all a ploy to get her in his cabin. He hated that thought because it wasn’t true. Roman had absolutely no plans on taking advantage of Jane but how could he explain that to her? That he hadn’t even thought of kissing her and then suddenly he did. That he was just as surprised as she was when he caught himself. There was no point in explaining. He would make this right. In the afternoon he finds her in the library and he can see that she’s caught off guard. She stands defensively but her eyes do not meet his own.

“ I’ve found a place for you to stay. It’s called Totoguam. It’s far enough away from England and there are no British soldiers there. It’s relatively peaceful. We can get you set up there with a place to stay. It’s one of the better places for women who are alone.”

“ I see”, she raises her gaze to meet his. He doesn’t look happy. They both knew that this would come regardless of what transpired. She nods, “Thankyou”.

“ It’s no problem at all M'lady. Good evening”, Roman tips his hat and leaves the library. A familiar ache in his chest. Disappointment.

Jane*

Totoguam was beautiful and faintly reminded her of the Caribbean. There was music and beautiful men and women. Their faces were sun kissed and speckled, ranging from glowing tans to deep rich browns. Stepping onto the dock she understood why women like it here. It’s because there were so many of them working alongside the men.

She followed quietly behind Roman as he led her to an inn with a pub. It was loud and lively as men drunkenly sang and drank the mid afternoon away. A tall woman standing at least 6 feet waved as she saw Roman from behind the counter.

“ Cap’n Roman! that you ya’ big lug ?!” Her eyes widen as she throws a rag over her shoulder and shoots him a big smile. She had both a feminine and masculine air about her. She was muscular with a beautiful face and short red hair that came just over her ear. Her ears were covered in gold piercings and she dressed in men’s casual attire. Her lips were painted with red lip rouge.

“ Alicent! How are you?”, Roman leads Jane over to the bar and they sit.

“ I’m well. At least as well as I can be dealin’ with these imbeciles. Oy’! Put that chair down or i’ll give ya’ a Glasgow kiss!!”, she yelled at a man from across the bar. He immediately sits down. Alicent seemingly ran a tight ship.

“ I see you’ve got your hands full”, Roman takes off his hat and places it on the bar. Alicent slides him a pitcher of ale.

“ This your lady?”, she eyes Jane.

“ No. She’s a guest on my ship and she’s actually the reason I’m here”.

“ Nice to meet ya. Alicent and you are…?”, Alicent holds her hand out to Jane and Jane takes it smiling at her. She already liked Alicent, she had a warm comforting air to her.

“ Jane”, she smiled

“ So, tell me what favor do I owe?”, Alicent rolls her eyes playfully at Roman. Roman slams his glass down on the table refilling his glass.

“ The lady needs a room to rent and a job—aaaaand possibly a new name too”.

“ She in trouble with the law?”

“ Yes, wrongfully accused. However they likely think she’s dead. The ship she was on sank”

“ Can you cook?”

“ Y-yes ma’am. I used to be one”, Jane clears her throat nervously. Alicent slides a glass towards her and fills it with wine.

“ You’ve got yourself a job. Can you start tomorrow by any chance ?”

“ Of course”, Jane smiled thankfully.

“ After this I owe you no more favors. We’re even”

“ Of course”. Roman drops three coins on the table and Alicent playfully pockets it. “ You two make yourself comfortable. My shift ends in about 30 minutes. I’ll show her around and get her set up”.

“ You’re a life saver Alicent”, said Roman. She playfully rolls her eyes and heads back towards the customers. Their corner of the pub turns quiet. Jane takes a slow sip of her wine as she sets in their looming goodbye.

“ So….”, she begins. Roman turns to her. Something is bothering him and she can tell but he’s hiding it. “ Where do you know Alicent from?”

“ She was my Quartermaster. You’re in her old room actually”

“ But I thought only men could be pirates ?”

“ Pirates are criminals little Dove, we make our own rules. And while pirates are traditionally men, it didn’t matter much to me. Where I come from women make the rules alongside men. Half the time they controlled the decisions of the house. It used to be matriarchal.”

“ Oh wow. Hard to imagine a world where women were in charge. It’s never been like that for me.”

“ Well that’s why I figured it be good to get you under Alicent’s wing. She’s respected here and this is her Inn. She won’t let anything happen to you”

“ Thankyou Roman…for everything”, Jane looks him in the eye this time. The warmth of her gaze heating his face like the morning sun. He took a picture of her face with his mind, wishing he could frame it.

“ It’s the least I could do…and I wanted to say sorry about….”

Janes brows wrinkle in confusion. “ Why are you apologizing ?”

“ Well because I didn’t want you to think me a liar. Especially after what I said on the dock”

“ I believe you to be a man of your word Captain. I was just …overwhelmed is all. I am not close to many people….I get nervous at times. My head was swimming and I—don’t be sorry”, she stuttered. She wanted to say more but she stopped herself. It didn’t matter now.

His brows raise in relief. “ Okay” he says.

“ Okay ” she sighs. A silence settles over them but the tension eventually melts away from the drinks. “ You’re very tall”, Jane blurts flatly. “ I think you’re the tallest man I’ve ever seen. Are people tall where you come from ?”

“Many are… some aren’t. I didn’t think I was tall but rather the people overseas were small and weak from the food they ate. Boiled meat and soggy bread can only do so much for a person ”, he snorts. Jane giggles, holding her mouth. Roman smirks at the sounds of her muffling her laugh.

“ Oh? I didn't know your disdain for the food ran so deep. Was it not seasoned to your liking? ”, she laughed.

“ No…and ya’ know…For people who claim that their god favors them so much, you’d think he’d give them better food and less barren crops”, Roman loosened his hair and propped his feet up.

Jane's eyes widened at his whitt. He sure had a point. They were constantly battling famine with wet rodent filled crops and terrible weather. Sounded like a curse to her but who was she to pretend to know the intent of God? “ Do tell me your other opinions Mr. Roman”, Jane chuckled and took another swig of her wine.

“ Ahh let’s see…”,, Roman rested his hands behind his head as he thought. “ I think all monarchs have rats for brains. And judging from what I’ve seen crawl from under their wigs, I’d say my guess isn’t that far off”.

Jane bursted with a loud chuckle, this time covering her entire face. Roman joined her, loving the sound of her abrupt laughter. He liked this version of her. Her guard was slipping. It was just a shame this would be the last time he saw her smile.

“ I can’t argue with you there. I used to work for an Earl and his lady wife. They had me clean their wigs and one day as I was shaking them out, a mouse jumped on my hand. I’d never screamed so hard in my life. They had the nerve to shout at me like I was crazy,” Jane snorted.

“ These royals I tell ya’. All the money in the world and the dirtiest people of all. I had to watch where I stepped back in Germany. The ball room seemed to be a favorite toiled of theirs”, he shivered.

Jane made a playful gagging noise “ That’s just strange”.

“ Strange isn’t the word. It’s uncivilized. But my people are the savages ? Last time I checked my people my people don’t defecate where they walk. Not even a dog will sleep in it’s own excrement if it can help it”.

Roman tried to adhere to every code and every rule established for him. He was exceptional by force. He had to be great or he was disposable. He spoke foreign languages, traveled, studied hard, out fenced his peers, and even earned the best marks. All the hard work and submission to his situation got him nowhere in the end. He was bitter for a long while—not because he felt betrayed but because he thought he could stop his fate. No matter how special he was for a savage…he was still just that to them. A savage. He unlearned his gods, put away his religion, he left behind the names of his father and his great grandfathers and adopted the life of someone else. Someone more simple. Someone not him.

“ You have a point”, she shrugged.

“ Maybe. Maybe not. I’m just all vinegar”.

“ I find you to be very sweet”.

He grumbled, “quite a few people would disagree with you m’lady. Here”, he pushes a plate of fresh bread towards her and she accepts. The two fill their bellies while people watching and dialing into the conversations around them. She felt safe with Roman, especially in a place with drunk men. No man would harass her with him around.

“ So what do you plan to do when I’m gone ? I know you’ll be working as a cook but what else ? What did you do for fun back in England ?”

“ I didn’t have a lot of time to do what I wanted. I worked 6 days a week. I loved to read but I was constantly working and by the time I got off my shift I was exhausted. I hope I have more time to read in my privacy here. Even if it’s just for a day.”

“ I’ll put in a word to make sure Alicent gives you good hour.”

“ Oh you don’t have to do that Roman.”

“ Consider it my final gift to you.”

Roman notices her face drop. She can’t hide that the disappointment hits her like a truck.

“ New life….new name. This will be good for you”, he encourages.

“ I suppose so. I did it once before, what's another go at it right ? But what about you ?”

“ What about me?”

“ Once you find this treasure what will you do?”

“ Whatever I desire. I’ll always love the sea. I’m sure a day will come when I decide I’ve had enough and when that happens I’ll have the funds to do so.”

“ I wish you the best of luck Roman”, she smiles sadly at him.

The pair are interrupted by Alice who tiredly sat at the table and threw back a cup of ale.

“ So Jane, how about a tour ?”, says Alicent.

“ Let’s do it.”

Alicents pub sat underneath a three story high inn that held 24 rooms. The kitchen was relatively small with only two other cooks. Alicent was also a tenet of a small home with small bedrooms to rent. This is where Jane would be staying and paying a small price to live. She was used to living with strangers so it would be no difficult feat for her.

Although the space was cramped, it was pretty clean and tidy. Alicent seemed to care about it and it reflected in the quality of the home. Roman however, was not pleased at all.

“ Alicent can I speak with you for a moment?” He asks his old friend. They walk outside as Jane continues to take in her new home. Moments later they both walked back into the room.

“ Change of plans…and residency. We have something better for you”

“ Are you sure ? I’m okay here. This is the nicest place I’ve seen for servants.”

“ I assure you it’s not a problem. Follow me.”

A five minute walk down the road brought them to a cottage about 5 minutes from the outskirts of town. They walk inside of an empty house. It was relatively small but beautiful.

“ This is much better and she’ll have enough land for a few animals too. A nice side job for any extra income that she needs— “

Jane’s face contorted in confusion.“ Wait, you— what ?”

“ This is the house you’ll be staying in. I bought it.”

Jane grunts with disapproval. “ Roman— I”

“ It’s not problem”

“ It is. This is far too generous Roman. I’m okay living with other people, I’ve done it all my life. This is far too expensive and kind for someone you barely know.”

“ I don’t care”, Roman says in a final tone. The two stare at each other with challenging expressions.

Alicent eyes the two.“ Well you two sure do bicker like you know each other”, she chuckles. They glare at her.

Alicent crosses her arms tired of the silence wafting between her two guests. “ Alright. Do you want the house or not?”

“ This is final. I bought it. It technically belongs to me so you don’t have to worry about anything. The payments for the house are low. It’s stable…it’s actually got some ventilation. I thought you’d be happy ?”

“ I am happy I just….”, Jane sighs, giving up expressing anything.

“ Well then it’s settled”, Roman insists.

Roman *

He didn’t understand this sudden change in demeanor. He thought she’d be jumping with joy from a gift like this. Now she wouldn’t be surrounded by sweaty sailors. She’d get her wish no matter how much he wanted her to stay.

Later on that evening Earl and few of Roman’s crew helped bring her belongings back to her home. Caden shopped at a nearby livestock farm picking a few animals for her. Roman watched her sit quietly in the corner watching helplessly at the entire interaction. What isn’t she saying? Why is she looking at him with such disappointment ?

When everything was settled he watched Jane's eyes rest in defeat. She insisted that they walk down to the dock together so that she could say goodbye to Caden and see them off. He obliged and the walk back was quiet. Caden and Jane talked quietly eliciting a few giggles from her. She seemed very comfortable around him. He imagined that the reason for her sadness is losing a friend in him.

“ Goodbye Caden. It was nice meeting you”, she held out a hand to him but he pulled her in for a hug. She looked a bit startled but exchanged her surprise for a warm smile, hugging him back.

“ Goodbye Caden. It was nice meeting you”, she held out a hand to him but he pulled her in for a hug. She looked a bit startled but exchanged her surprise for a warm smile, eventually hugging him back.

“ Nice meeting you M’lady. Shame you couldn’t come with us. Maybe we can visit after all this? Though I can’t promise it won’t be for a long while. Maybe next winter after this one ?”, he turns to Roman expectantly . His expression is hopeful, almost like that of a child to a parent.

“ I suppose if it is alright with her”, Says Roman.

“ Visit me anytime. Always happy to see my old friends who helped me out so much”, she smiled sadly.

Caden went ahead before them with the other sailors. They awaited in the distance giving the two some space. Roman put on his tricorn hat which gave his eyes some room for honesty. The two looked around the bustling dock filled with workers running from left to right. The sun was setting and people would soon be retiring for the day. He could see Alicent in the distance having a drink outside with her co-workers. His eyes fall over the beautiful Jane again.

The sunset suits her beautiful skin. There’s a glow that reflects off of her, making her look somewhat benevolent in this light. He notices how watery her irises appear and he realizes in that moment that maybe he should have begged her to stay. She shamelessly wipes a tear away and closes the distance between them. He towers over her frame but yet her hug feels as big as him. She squeezes him tight and he returns the embrace, cradling her head to his chest like she was made of glass.

He imprints the smell of her hair into his memory. He tries to memorize the feel of her against his chest—her hands that dug into his flesh desperately. The way he could feel the flutter of her little heart against his stomach. She pulls away too soon but he hides the ache of it. This was inappropriate. This hug was inappropriate and far too familiar. A man does not hug a lady he barely knows. Her expression slowly fades to formal again and she slowly lifts her dress and slowly curtsies with the utmost respect. In return he tips his hat to her and turns away, returning to the paddle boat headed back to his ship.

“ You sure this is the right thing to do cap’n?”, Caden asks as he pushes the oar in sync with another ship mate. Roman doesn’t answer. Everytime Roman looks back it appears that Jane has gotten closer to the edge of the dock. Every alarm is going off in his body. As they docked the ship his heart began to race in objection. It felt as if she’d attached a rope to him and the further he went the more his body bent against the pressure of it. Pain. He felt pain somewhere that he hadn’t in quite some time.

As he barked orders he went into himself. His mouth shouted commands he couldn’t hear. Sweaty palms rubbed against the sides of his trousers. He looked back to see her standing at the edge of the dock. The ship sets sail and her tiny frame becomes smaller and smaller.

“ Go back for her ”, Caden says firmly.

“ No. She wants to be here.”

“ That’s not true and you know it Roman.”

Roman looks at his cabin boy incredulously for his tone. Caden’s firm look doesn’t falter. They continue to sail and Roman points his spyglass at her tiny frame. It magnifies her but only so much. He can see the outline of her body sitting on the edge of the dock now. His body screams at him. This isn’t right. Caden isn’t done fighting.

“ Go back for her!”

“ I- i can’t”

“ Why?”

“ She’s—-she wants a new life”

“ She’s safer here. You want her here just as much as I do. Go back for her.”

“ I- “

Roman paces the weather deck impatiently. His crew took notice but said nothing, continuing to set sail East.

“ Captain…I’m not the only person on this ship who saw the way she looked at you. She didn’t want to go and she was my friend too! You can’t just leave her.”

Roman wanted to rip his own ears off.

“ You will regret this for the rest of your life if you do not turn around and get her ”, Earl spoke up in his tremulous voice. Roman paused at that. The older man’s regretful tone stunned him because it sounded as if he experienced it himself. “ Go to her”, Earl adds silently. His voice was the final nail in the coffin.

As if his body was simply waiting for his permission, Roman speeds into action. He quickly begins to untie the rope to the paddle boat alongside the ship. Earl and Caden assist him. He dives into the water and climbs into the paddle boat, beginning a frantic paddle back to shore with his oar in the water.

Soaking wet and paddling back to shore for the woman of his dreams wasn’t something he foresaw in his near future. When he finally docked it was almost night fall and Jane was gone. There were barely any people on the dock now. He looked around frantically for her. He checked the pub but Alicent was no longer there. He asked around about her but everyone had not a clue of who she was quite yet.

He made the journey back to her house and just half way there he spotted her. She was walking slowly back to her new abode. As if her body sensed him before her mind could, she stopped. Jane slowly turns around to see Roman standing there drenched in water. He was panting and his expression was unsure. He felt foolish as she took in his frame but her eyes reaffirmed his decision.

“ I’m sorry. You…probably think I'm an absolute fool and you’d be right but —everything in me told me to turn around. I don’t know why Jane”, he rushed. It was cold now. The sun was just about to disappear behind the ocean and the chill of the night was getting to him.

Jane looks at him for a moment. Her eyes were swollen and so were her lips. She’d been crying and that breaks his heart. He hated the idea of how she’d fair if he hadn’t come back. If maybe he’d done more harm than good.

“Come with me Jane….please”, he says firmly. Though his expression is anything short of afraid. Her eyes well up in relief as she puffs out the tension building up inside of her. The remaining tears she was saving for the privacy of her home spilled over onto her cheeks. A watery smile spreads across her face.

“ Okay ”