#old ass fic

[anon-e-miss]

Belated Confessions

Prowl standing, not sitting, not laying down but standing when Jazz walked into his medroom. His back was bare and his doorwings stripped of their paint. A blanket hung around his waist. The only signs of the lashings Lockdown had dealt him were the glossy strips of freshly knit sentio-metallico. They would all fade soon. While Jazz had been in lock up, Prowl had all but completely healed. He was a little sorry not to have been at his berthside to support him. At the same time, he was not sorry he had rearranged Chromedome’s faceplates, as well as a few other components. In a different time, Jazz would have been dishonourably discharged. He would not have cared then and he did not care now. No one had ever put Chromedome in his place, not in a the decavorns he had been spreading rumours about a commanding officer, mostly because Jazz thought they liked hearing them and at least in part because there had been no discrediting them. The only other mech who had known the truth had been Prowl and he had never cared to tried to silence the cacophony.

Realistically, he probably would not have been able to. The truth may have been the greatest defence against a lie, lies still won when the audience found them more titillating. Hearing Chromedome say Prowl had been found in Lockdown’s “den of pleasure” waiting for the bounty hunter’s return had made Jazz see white. He could have stopped himself before or after the first punch. Every punch had been a choice and a pleasure. Rewind had wailed that Jazz should be charged with attempted murder when Ironhide had given him an orn in detention and ended the matter there. Jazz had perhaps not helped himself when he had replied that if he had wanted to kill Chromedome he would have gut him with any of the thirteen knives he had been carrying. It was the truth, however.

“Was he worth it?” Prowl asked, without turning around.

“An orn in lock up?” Jazz asked, scoffed. “Woulda been worth a decavorn.”

“Jazz,” Prowl made a soft sound Jazz knew was a chuckle. He turned around, holding the blanket crossed over his chassis. Jazz realized them he was completely without armour. “Had it gone through the military court, as it should have, it would have been far worse than a decavorn. All over glyphs.”

“Sorry, Prowl,” Jazz said. “I outta knocked. Didn’t think ya wouldn’t have armour.”

“That whip of his was contaminated with enough detritus that my backplate was better off scrapped then saved. Sunstreaker decided I needed a makeover and he absconded with the rest of it while the plate is constructed.”

“Are ya a’ight?” Jazz asked. He had heard no whispers of an infection, though he had wonder what had been keeping Prowl under Ratchet care.

“I am perfectly fine,” Prowl replied. “Ratchet was concerned I might develop some infection so he has been hovering. All my wounds were superficial. He wanted to save the worst for you to witness.”

“He ne’er thought I’d bring a team,” Jazz said, shaking his helm as his fuel tank churn.”

“He does not know what it means to be part of a whole,” Prowl replied. “And until now, I do not believe I did either.”

“What do ya mean?” Jazz asked.

“Sit with me?” Prowl asked.

“Yeah,” Jazz sat next to Prowl on the medberth.

“I knew you would come,” Prowl said. “I wanted you to come, of course I did not want to remain prisoner to him and then to Megatron. But I was terrified of you coming alone, full of reckless fury. I was worried Smokescreen would be hot on your peds.”

“Y’re mechlin’ threatened to stowaway if I didn’t bring’m along,” Jazz said.

“Are you angry I deceived you?” Prowl asked.

“Not a chance,” Jazz replied. He took Prowl’s servo and squeezed it. “Thank ya for trustin’m wit me.”

“I knew I could not command him,” Prowl said. “Though he has a keen, tactical processor. I knew I could not be impartial. I did not want to command him. I knew he would as safe as he could possibly be in your servos.”

“You raise a clever mech,” Jazz said. “We need more Bots like’m in Ops. His processor’s lightnin’ quick. Got the Empties stirred up to distract Lockdown right when I needed ‘m.”

“He came into my life at just the right time,” Prowl explained. “I had just found out I would be unlikely to be able to create. He gave me something, someone to focus on instead of all the what ifs.”

“‘M so sorry, Prowl,” Jazz crooned and Prowl gave him that soft, serene little smile he had.

“Had I been able to conceive it would have been with Chromedome and that would have been a disaster,” Prowl replied. “It is without a doubt for the best.”

“Why do ya let him slag talk ya to everyone?” Jazz asked. “Wit this history, ya coulda outta’m as the cheatin’ scum he was a dozen times.”

“I have never wanted to share my woes with the masses for sympathy,” Prowl replied. “It was and is none of their business that he was cheating on me the entire time we had been trying to kindle, or that it was Smokescreen who had discovered it. It was and is none of their business he tried to bribe Smokescreen with Syk for his silence.”

“‘M wishin’ I’d hit’m a few more times,” Jazz growled and Prowl shook his helm.

“He is not worth the paperwork,” he replied.

“Ya are,” Jazz said. Prowl looked at him. “Y’re worth more than that scrap e’er will.”

“He will be transferred when he has recovered,” Prowl said, optics lowering slightly. “Let that be enough. Please.”

“I won’t chase after ‘m,” Jazz promised. “He ain’t worth that kinda effort.”

“Thank you,” Prowl sighed.

“When do ya think Sunstreaker’ll be done wit yer makeov’r?” Jazz asked.

“This cycle,” Prowl said. “Hopefully. I would like to get back to work, back tomorrow.”

“Can I take ya out to celebrate when y’re free?” Jazz asked.

“Out?” Prowl asked.

“Out,” Jazz repeated. “Of base. A lil restaurant somewhere. Just us.”

“A date,” Prowl said. “You are asking me out on a date.”

“Long o’erdue,” Jazz replied and Prowl looked at him with wide and bright optics. “Feels like I’ve loved ya for a lifetime.”

“You... love all your friends,” he said, stiltedly.

“There’s no one on the planet I love like I love ya,” Jazz declared. Prowl flushed. “I know ya told Smokey there’s nothin’ between us...”

“Because there is...was... nothing,” Prowl exclaimed. There was a rare look of confusion on his faceplates. “You... you were always my friend. You had lovers here and there but you were always my friend... so...”

“So?” Jazz asked.

“It was enough,” Prowl said, doorwings twitching on his back.

“Prowl...”

“Jazz, do you have any idea how frustrating you are?” Prowl asked. “It made me so jealous to see you go off with other mechs but I did not dare show it. And you tell me know, all this time, you have been in love with me?”

“I got wit those mechs ‘cause I was tryin’ to get over ya,” Jazz sighed. “I took the deployment Treadbolt woulda been better for ‘cause it wasn’t workin’ ‘n I hoped a lil space would.”

“For pity’s sake,” Prowl put his face in his servo as he sighed. “No one gives me helmaches quite like you.”

“So I mighta misread the situation,” Jazz cracked a weak joke.

Prowl scowled as he caught Jazz’s face in his servos. The blanket fell but Jazz did not notice as Prowl kissed him soundly. The shock lasted only a moment before Jazz wrapped his arms around the Praxian and held him close as he kissed him well. He felt Prowl’s soft protoform against his bumper but paid no mind. For vorns he had dreamed of this moment and now that Jazz had Prowl in his arms, he was in no hurry to let him go. Still, eventually they had to separate, if just a little. Jazz pressed his browridge against Prowl’s crest in a Praxian gesture of affection Smokescreen had taught him. There was a cough and Jazz whipped his helm around to see Sunstreaker standing there with Prowl’s new armour. He could feel heat roll of Prowl’s frame as he quickly pulled the blanket up between them and tried to, awkwardly, cover himself.

“It’s about damn time,” Sunstreaker declared.

[themothsnest]

Before you hit "Read More" read this!

This fic contains humanformers, janky ass writing, mentions of human experimentation, trauma, a character who canonically has split personalities & (according to Ao3) a risk of death from fluff after the angsty portion!

This fic was also written over three years ago when I was 15/16 and I relied HEAVILY on google translate and fanmade content from that time period so if anything's inaccurate, I dont have excuses.

If you've read that, feel free to hit "Read More" then you can bully 2020 Moth!

Stürmische Erinnerungen

Thunder. Some people for some reason enjoy it. Most people don’t.

The storm currently flaring to life above the Automaton Capital, Detroit, had caused several trees to fall and electrical faults to occur but nothing could compare to the thunder’s effect on a couple stuck in a small wooden shack just outside of Detroit in the woods.

The duo were Bumblebee, a short, Filipino male wearing a white tee and black jeans covered by a yellow jacket with bees embroidered on the shoulders as well as a pair of yellow trainers, and Blitzwing, a tall, german male wearing black timberland boots, cargo pants, a purple turtleneck and a beige fluffy coat along with a pair of glasses with red tinted lenses.

Bumblebee didn’t mind the loud claps of thunder all that much. They reminded him of the chaos of his misfit family back in Detroit and the crashing from Optimus falling on his way to the basement due to hitting his head against the low ceiling on the stairs then slamming into the nearest crate.

Blitzwing on the other hand was freaking out and going through all of his split personalities’ personas because of the fear caused by memories of the storm that hit while he was being used as a test subject and the pounding headaches after the experiment failed and left him with nasty scars as well as three personalities.

“Blitzy, please try to calm down before you give yourself another headache...”

“Lass uns in Ruhe, Dämonen!”

The smaller male flinched at the sudden yell from his partner when he briefly paused on his Hothead persona. The taller of the two was twitching like mad and holding his head in his hands between each boom from the heavens and muttering in German with shaky breathing only to freeze and yell in fright after particularly loud thunder then repeating the process.

When the thunder backed off and he saw Blitzwing’s condition, Bee immediately started to slowly move towards him with his hands up as he stepped into Blitzwing’s peripheral vision. Bee immediately froze when his partner’s head whipped up and almost knocked the glasses off of his face while the reddish-brown eyes had tears ready to fall from the pure fear he felt. Blitzwing looked around frantically until he saw Bee and looked towards the yellow clad Filipino with a shaky exhale as his Hummel carefully held his wrists and helped him to his feet with a fair bit of effort since the boot wearing male was a fair bit heavier than he was.

“You’re okay, babe.”

Bee’s reassuring tone did a bit to soothe the absolutely terrified German but it didn’t entirely soothe him. Blitzwing was trembling as he got a better grip on the Filipino to pull himself up.

“Ve really don’t like zis, Hummel…”

The strongly accented and usually strong voice was disrupted by trembling and quieter than the dominant Icy persona ever could be.

B O O M!

Had Blitzwing been perfectly calm, he would have denied his scream being three pitches higher than his Random persona’s voice. Not the case now though. Blitzwing all but slammed his body down to the ground and yanking Bumblebee with him due to still being held by his small partner. The coat had been partly removed due to the sudden movements as broken sobs emitted from the taller of the two and it was clear that it would be hard for them to stop now that the storm had returned with a fuckin’ powerful vengance.

Pain... Pure, throbbing pain...

The medical equipment hooked up to his body...

His first look at the scars left behind...

The thunderous pounding of the headaches everyday...

The crying soon turned into full blown screaming wails as horrible memories launched their attack and they only got worse as each drum of thunder sounded. Bumblebee hugged the distressed male’s upper body as he rubbed soothing shapes and words on his neck and back.

Forced into the experiment and thrown away when it failed to produce the perfect soldier...

Forcefully changed into an insane human being just to see if they could create a warrior...

Thrown aside when all the experiment did was destroy his mental state...

Thrown away when he became a freak...

Forced through Hell only to find someone that loved him even if he is broken…

Loved him for all of him...

“Blitzy, you’re safe… you’re with me… they can't hurt you anymore…”

The soft words and gentle movements pulled him from his mind and he realised he had hunched over Bumblebee with his head buried in the thin neck and his arms clutching his Hummel close to him as his crying slowly became small sniffles in the comforting embrace.

The storm had finally passed when Blitzwing was dragged past his shattered memories and stopped only briefly at the memories of Bee loving him even if he was unstable and very easily stressed out while the Filipino was more relaxed. Once he was aware of the fact, he eased his grip and plopped his head against Bee’s chest. He got a soft grunt in response to that action and started chuckling quietly as his partner carefully poked his ribs in revenge.

“Perhaps we should just stay at the house next time.”

“Zat vould be smart, Hummel. Less noise reaches ze hellhole jou call jour room.”

Both of them started laughing when they remembered just how messy Bee’s room was and at the mental imagery of Optimus losing his shit because they had promised to tidy up just over a week ago before deciding not to. At least they had some time to just cuddle in a small, wooden shack out in the woods away from the rest of Detroit.

“Love ya, Blitzbrain.”

“I love you too, Hummel.”

Words couldn’t describe the peace that the broken German and his Filipino bee felt as they sat comfortably holding each other.

“But seriously cleaning jour room is ze priority tonight.”

Well, it was a peace until Blitz got a gentle hit on the head...

[taeghi]

why tf does this have 6k notes on it i had no idea

☆ the hates everyone except you trope | park jay

"hey! focus on the assignment!" "well stop being so fucking pretty and i might be able to!"

pairing : badboy!jay x good girl! reader

summary : being the smartest one in your whole year had its perks, but it meaning that you would have to tutor the students that were behind in class was definitely the ultimate con- except for it allowing you to get to know the school’s bad boy in a way no one else has before.

word count : 27,994

includes smut, angst, fluff.

use of drugs and alchohol.

minors DNI

☆read the other volumes?

taglist : @srirachibi @ryu-naa @blank-velvet @hoonstrology @person-standing @yuakagi @moasworld @rein-deer-stuffs @ily-cuz-i @lix-freckle3 @leeis @turnipsandflowerss @hoewithnojams @liliansun @melaninjhs @sunshine-skz @andromedawillburryyou @shynypeacekitten @violevantae @rpkth @hime98 @fvryang @j4yluvr @heelariously @fireflies997 @rikipediaa @yuakagi @person-standing @blank-velvet @ryu-naa @srirachibi (sorry if i forgot anyone lol)

growing up in a small town and then moving to the capital city for your first year of high school is and never will be easy.

your entire family had been born and grew up in your small hometown themselves. it was a town where everyone knew everyone. you had grown to become comfortable in your small town. there wasn't much going on, it was basically silent.

and you loved the silence.

though, you dreamed of moving far away from your small, quiet town once you graduated high school- and you never wanted to return.

you didn't want to be like everyone else in the world, it was one of your biggest fears. you couldn't bear the thought of being like someone else, which was hard since everyone in your town thought the same, dressed the same, talked the same and so on.

besides your fear of being like everyone else, you had a fear of burning out in life.

you had always been intelligent.

you got grades that were so high that colleges had been looking into accepting you even before you had graduated. your teachers were always impressed with you, even giving you assignments that were extremely advanced for someone your age to complete.

your obvious intelligence had made your parents extremely hard on you. always pushing you to study and to get your assignments done on time so that you could go far in life. your parents didn't have the luck of being as smart as you, so when they found out that somehow the two of them had made a genius child- their minds went haywire.

your parents didn't want you to end up like them when you were older. so, they gave you strict rules, a strict curfew, and a strict schedule that you had to follow.

on some days, you didn't mind your routine. you found comfort in it.

but other days, you wanted to pull your hair out as you heard kids your age laughing down the street on a nice spring day- probably making amazing childhood memories that they could tell their kids about one day. you on the other hand had no memories that you could share.

what would you even tell your kids? oh, i sat inside for years with my head in a textbook and stress circulating my entire being so that i could please my parents and make a name for myself in this life.

yeah, really fun.

since your parents really wanted you to live a life that they didn't and would never have, they decided to move to the capital city - seoul - for your first year of high school.

you were excited but so scared at the same time. you got to get away from the small town you had always lived in where you knew everyone and everything. to a place where you knew no one and nothing.

to say that your first year of high school was awful would be an understatement.

your first year of high school was horrendous.

it was like you were invisible to everyone- except to yoon seeun.

"hi!" the girl sat down across the cafeteria table from you.

"um, hi?" you answered with a confused tone, you looked around the busy cafeteria, trying to see if anyone had sent this girl over to sit with you as a prank. no one had sat with you for the first week of high school, you tried to sit with other tables but you got kicked out of all of them as they were apparently 'someone else's.

"what're you looking for?" the girl asked amused as she watched you scan your surroundings.

"just- did someone tell you to sit with me? because you don't have to! i'm fine b-" you started, embarrassment filling you as you explained yourself.

"what? no!" she laughed, "i wanted to sit with you."

"oh."

"i'm yoon seeun." she introduced herself. you looked at her fully as she said her name. she had a rounder face, and pretty big eyes. she had a pretty mole right above her left eye that seemed to match her beauty.

"i'm y/l/n y/n." you introduced yourself as well.

"i know," seeun shrugged, pulling backpack around herself so she could open it, "you sit in front of me in math."

"oh, i'm so sorry. i haven't really learnt everyone's names yet."

"that's okay!" seeun smiled, "what elementary school did you go to?"

"um, i moved here from seungju, so i don't know if you'd know it."

"where the hell is seungju?"

"it's like, really south and really small!"

"how small?"

"like, the population is around two thousand."

"my god! what're you doing here?" seeun screeched, making you laugh at her shocked expression. "there are more than two thousand students just in our grade!"

"my parents wanted a better education for me." you shrugged measly.

"so you really don't know anything about this place then."

"yeah, pretty much. but i think after a week i've been slowly catching on to the cliques going on."

"oh. so you must know the queen sieun." seeun rolled her eyes with a frown.

"no, who's that?"

"she's a brat and she basically runs the whole city. she's in our grade." seeun explained, turning around and nudging her chin towards a table at the far corner of the room. "she's the really pretty one with the light orange hair."

you easily spotted the orange-haired girl from across the room. it seemed like everyone in the cafeteria was staring at her, though she was oblivious to it. she sat with other really pretty girls that didn't seem to match her beauty.

"her dad is park namjung, that famous singer from the 80s."

"holy shit! my mom use to love him!"

"yeah yeah. well, his fame has gone to her head and apparently, everyone else's at this school."

"she's really like that?"

"yeah, believe me, i used to be friends with her."

"no way. what happened?"

seeun shrugged, "everyone found out who her dad was last year and it just totally changed her. she got popular and pretty and i didn't know you know, we stopped being friends."

"you're pretty what're you talking about!" you interjected, shaking your head at her.

"yeah, but not pretty enough to sit at that table." seeun rolled her eyes with a huff.

"who cares, you're pretty in your own damn way, you don't need to look like anybody else."

seeun smiled at your words. she's really needed to hear some positives about her appearance since she's been pushed into the background of sieun's life movie. "thank you."

"no problem."

"now," seeun pulled out a textbook from her bag, "you don't happen to be good at math, do you? because the assignment that's due next period really needs to be done."

"yeah i can help you! i'm kinda smart."

"really!" you nodded in response to her with a shy smile. "good, we need a smart person around here." seeun flipped through the book, making you laugh at her insult.

-- -- -- -- -- -- --

seeun and you became close friends quickly. she taught you about everyone in your school and all the drama that you missed out on while living in "some small hick town" as seeun referred it to. she had introduced you to some of her friends, but you didn't really 'click' with them as well as you did with seeun.

your first month at high school was made better because of her.

though, you didn't really understand how much importance that seeun put on the importance of reputation, you didn't really care. you thought it was funny that seeun knew everything about everyone and it reminded you of your hometown. seeun didn't notice how little popularity meant to you, she was just glad that she had someone to listen to her- and you were happy to.

after the first month- you had figured that you had heard everything about everyone from seeun. until an unfamiliar boy walked into the cafeteria.

seeun and you were sitting at 'your table' (yes you even had your own table now) in the cafeteria. the boy wore all black with black combat boots that matched his black hair. his jaw was sharp like all his other features. his lips were pulled down into a subtle frown that made you wonder just how pretty he could be if he smiled. he looked like he came straight out of shitty wattpad fanfic.

"who's that?" you tilted your head to the side where the boy was talking to the usual overly happy lunch lady who now adorned her own frown as she looked up at him.

seeun looked towards the direction, "that's park jay."

"park jay?" you repeated almost absentmindedly as you continued to watch him buy a granola bar.

"yeah, park jongsung, but he likes to go by jay."

"i've never seen him before."

seeun scoffed with a laugh, "yeah because he basically never comes. if he does come then he's either high, drunk or both."

"who does he hang out with?"

"just a bunch of misfits that you wouldn't know either. they hate everyone except for each other."

you watched park jay leave the lunch lady with a granola bar in his hand. a teasing smirk on his face as he walked past sieun and her group's table, his fingers waved mockingly at sieun as she rolled her eyes in disgust at him. he pushed the cafeteria doors open with his back, his smirk never leaving his face as he internally laughed at sieun until he disappeared into the hallway.

park jay didn't seem to be like any of the other boys at your school- especially with the way he acts toward park sieun. he doesn't drop to his knees from her beauty when he sees her.

"what're you thinking about?" seeun asked you as your brain became intoxicated with thoughts of park jay.

you shrugged, "nothing."

"it better not be about park jay."

"it's not!" you defended yourself quickly, avoiding eye contact with your friend as you pretended to read your textbook.

"good, he's a trouble maker, you don't want to get caught up with him."

"what do you mean by trouble maker?"

"mm," seeun thought out loud for a moment, "he parties a lot, does drugs a lot, commits stupid crimes with his friends and has probably slept with half the girl student population in seoul."

you imagined park jay in the scenes that seeun described to you about him. your brain going haywire as you thought about him lazily smoking a cigarette with loud music and girls surrounding him.

"has he always been like that?" you asked seeun curiously.

"no, he used to be nice until last year. he comes from a good family." you nodded at seeun's words, your eyes zoning out on the cafeteria doors where park jay last stood. "why do you wanna know?"

you looked at seeun with a sheepish smile, "just wondering."

seeun shrugged and went back to finishing her lunch, letting you go back to studying.

but it was so hard to study with park jay intruding on every thought.

throughout your years at high school, you had a few classes with park jay. it became a game just for you about how many times he would come to class that month. sometimes he'd come three times a week, other times you wouldn't see him for almost two weeks. your teachers always reprimanded him, but he never seemed to care. his usual tired and faded gaze never indicated anything else.

you always sat in the back of the class, too shy to sit anywhere else. it gave you the opportunity to people-watch the others in your classes. though, there was never really anyone that interesting to watch- besides park jay.

jay had changed drastically from year 9 to year 10. he grew taller, got piercings and a few small tattoos covered his arm. his academic intelligence stayed the same though. barely showing up for school, winging tests that he'd be nowhere even close to passing anyways.

you were sure that you were just as invisible to park jay as you were to everyone else in your school. you people watched- but people never watched you.

you told yourself that you liked it that way- but you felt so misunderstood at the same time. and you loved yoon seeun, but even sometimes you'd feel lonely as you sat beside her.

in year 10, you felt sweat drip down your back as you sped and walked to your class, hoping to not be late. your binder was messily open as you tried to organize all your essays and assignments. a hard thud into your front made the mess even bigger as your papers flew all over the ground. little chuckles and gasps surrounding you in the hallway from the other students.

you dropped down to your knees in a hurry to pick it all up, paying no attention to what or who you had bumped into until you noticed the still, black, combat boot standing right in the middle of your essay.

you glanced up and met the tired and faded gaze of park jay that you had only seen from afar before. he wore the usual serious expression on his face as he looked down at your chaotic and nervous figure.

"what?" he asked you with a tilt of his head.

"you're standing on my essay."

jay's eyes glanced down at his feet, and in fact, he was standing right on the pieces of paper. quickly, almost too out of character for him, he lifted his heavy boot, watching you slip the papers out.

you stood up and still had to tilt your head upwards to look at him, a sheepish smile on your face, "um, thanks." you move around him, almost bolting away from him so you could get to class on time. you felt your ears turning pink out of embarrassment. of course, you had to bump into park jay.

jay never let the memory of you murmuring a 'thanks' to him fade. when he did go to school, he'd always try to catch a glimpse of you in the hallway. he'd smile internally when he did. you always seemed to be so busy. so stressed out from school. always so of him. but it was so mentally draining to pretend to be someone else.

jay really did have no idea who you were, but you were different and cute and he liked it.

jay was tired of seoul and everyone in it. he hated the stereotypes, the cliques, the shitty music that everyone was told to like. he tried to be like everyone else during his elementary school years. he wanted to please his parents and for them to be proud of him. but it was so mentally draining to pretend to be someone else.

he hated how everyone thought they knew everything about him and everyone else. because it wasn't him- and it really pissed him off that it was what everyone thought.

all it took for him to leave his old facade behind was for lee heeseung to offer him a blunt.

lee heeseung was a year older than jay and he was the coolest person in seoul. (at least that's what jay thinks) heeseung knew how to have fun, how to ignore all the stupid stereotypes and he took jay under his wing. heeseung took some others under his wing too; shin jake, park sunghoon, kim sunoo, yang jungwon and nishimura riki.

they liked to have fun and enjoy life. none of them understood how wasting their youth cramped up studying in their bedrooms was an important use of time. they didn't like following the trends that were set in their generation. they liked to think outside of the box unlike the other robots in your school.

so it made them become misfits- and they didn't care. if anything, it just made them hate everyone else more than how much they hated them.

jay never let the memory of you murmuring a 'thanks' to him fade. when he did go to school, he'd always try to catch a glimpse of you in the hallway. he'd smile internally when he did. you always seemed to be so busy. so stressed out from school. always so good.

it made him think that you were too good for a place as bad as seoul.

you were too good for a person as bad as him.

of course, although you were basically invisible to the popularity rankings at your school, you still had some sort of reputation. you were smart, and people knew you were smart.

you weren't a teacher's pet, but it was obvious that teachers liked you a bit more than any of the other students. sometimes other students would ask you for help on a certain assignment, which you didn't mind doing, and it would actually help your classmates in the long run. your teachers noticed your small tutoring and wanted to give you some credit for it.

so, your guidance counsellor called you into his office and offered you extra credits if you became a tutor for your school. you told him that you'd think about it, but of course, your parents forced you to do it as it would 'look good on your school transcript' when you graduate.

you spent your final year of high school tutoring some students. some were in your grade, others were below you, and it was fun at first. until your teacher told you that you'd have to tutor park jay a few times a week.

your first instinct when you heard the news was to shout 'no fucking way', but you internally calmed yourself down and smiled.

"are you okay with tutoring him for a bit? his grades are awfully low and he needs to graduate this year." your teacher practically begged you.

you bleat a quick "sure." and your teacher seems more pleased with you than she ever has before.

"great!" your teacher clapped, "i've set it up for you to tutor him every tuesday! how's that sound?"

"perfect." you nodded, anxiety runs up your spine with the word.

the first tuesday that you were supposed to tutor park jay in the library- he didn't show up.

you sat for an hour after school, waiting for the arrival of the infamous misfit that smoked and drank and committed crimes with his friends for fun.

after ten minutes, you figured that he really wasn't going to show up, you didn't really care. it gave you some time to study for your own tests before you had to go home and study there.

the next tuesday, park jay waltzed into the library with a cocky smirk on his face.

he was about thirty minutes late when your tutoring session was supposed to start- but he showed up.

you heard someone clear their throat from beside the table you were sitting at, distracting you from your history homework. you honestly didn't expect park jay to be standing beside you when you looked up from the textbook. the look on jay's face showed that he wasn't really expecting you either.

when jay was told he wouldn't be able to graduate at the end of the year because his grades were so low, he kept his usual 'i don't give a fuck' expression and attitude on the outside. rolling his eyes when his mother gasped from beside him in the principal's office.

"jongsung!" she hissed to him, utter shock and disappointment filling her voice as his father remained silent on the other side of him.

jay loved his mother.

he thought she was beautiful and caring and thoughtful and everything a good mother needed to be. but she didn't agree with jay and his friends' morals. she insisted that having good grades in school meant everything. when in jay's reality- they certainly didn't.

it took some time for jay's mother to realize jay's heavy decline in school but when she did notice, she wasn't pleased. jay hated that he made her worry every night that he wouldn't be home by the time she had set for him. he hated the look she gave him when she noticed his bloodshot eyes at 3am as he stumbled into the house back from a party. he hated hearing her cry at the kitchen table late at night after yelling at him to go to his room after he regretfully talked back to her.

jay hated the way he was making his mother feel that sometimes it distracted him from how much he hated his father.

although jay hated stupid cliques and stereotypes, he imagined that there were certain groups of people in this world. he imagined that on one end of the long line of groups of people was himself, and on the whole other side that contained the milky way between it, was the group of people his father belonged to.

his father and him had nothing in common.

jay didn't even think they looked the same.

his father worked a lot. he worked from home, he worked at his main office in the middle of seoul and he worked abroad to wherever his company would send him that week. it took his father a lot longer than his mother to realize just how much park jongsung had changed from their 'well-behaved boy' that they 'raised so well'.

jay's father went to the united states during the summer that jay had started hanging out with heeseung. when his father walked through his house's door to greet his family, he felt his stomach sink when he saw his son decked out in all black, raggy clothes and silver jewlery hanging from his neck and ears.

"who the hell is that?" jay remembers his dad speaking out as he stared him down, unable to recognize his 'good' son that he had seen two months ago.

jay smirked to himself as he watched the shocked expression on his dad's face once his mother scolded him for asking such a ridiculous question.

after that day, jay had tried to make that shocked expression on his dad's face at any chance he could get. which was apparently more difficult than expected.

when jay started his second year in high school, he had gotten four tattoos on his left arm overnight from heeseung's older brother: a cartoon sheet ghost, a smiley face with the eyes as x's, a shitty snake that took heeseung maybe three seconds to draw, and a peach that his mother absolutely hated the most.

his mother screeched when he walked in the next morning with black ink and red skin, repeatedly asking him what had he done. jay was laughing as his mother took him over to the kitchen sink and started to scrub at his skin with a sponge. disgust was written on her face as she realized the black drawings were really not coming off.

jay and his mother sat in silence that night, waiting for his father to come home from work and see his 'new decision' as his mother called it.

his father walked in and sighed as he saw the two of them sitting in silence from across the table to each other. "what happened?"

jay stuck out his arm so his father could see the four little drawings on his skin. jay remembers thinking to hold back his laugh once the shocked expression appears on his dad's face.

but the expression never came.

"hm." his father nodded shortly, his lips pulled into a tight, thin line.

"they're permanent." his mother spoke out, she was even surprised at his calm reaction.

"yes, i assumed so." his father walked away from jay's dangling arm, "what's for dinner?" he asked his wife, leaving jay and his mother with the expression he wished his dad would've had.

in his third year of high school, jay still hadn't given up on shocking his dad so, he went over to heeseung's with a bag of (possible) hair bleach that he picked up at the store. he really didn't know if he had picked up the right stuff. but the person on the cover of the box had blonde hair and there were progression pictures of black hair turning blonde on the back, so he bought it.

within six hours (which really took longer than he had expected) he had bright pink hair from the leftover hair dye sunoo had let him have.

"bro, what the fuck have you done?" jake asked amused as he stood beside jay in the mirror, running over to heeseung's house when they told him he needed to come over immediately.

"do you like it?" jay asked, raising his eyebrows up and down teasingly.

"absolutely not." jake laughed, causing him to be pushed into the bathroom counter by jay.

"i think it looks punk." heeseung came into his bathroom suddenly, freshly dyed dark green hair causing jake to stop laughing.

"what the hell," jake stood up straight, "did everyone dye their hair?"

"eh, pretty much." sunghoon said, popping his head in so jake could see his silver hair.

"doesn't he look cool?" sunoo's crescent eyes popped in after, his fingers twirling sunghoon's hair which he had spent all day on.

"what the hell." jake's jaw dropped, looking at all of his friends' hair.

"it was sunoo's salon day!" heeseung smiled, playing with his new hair in the bathroom mirror still. "he did all of our hair."

"even jungwon's and riki's?" jake asked, a pout on his face suddenly.

"nah, i'm doing theirs tomorrow, i already spent all day on these three's hair." sunoo replied, still playing around with sunghoon's hair, trying to style it for him.

"i see," jake nodded, turning around to look at his own plain, black hair in the mirror, "can you do mine tomorrow, too?"

"of course!" sunoo smiled at his older friend.

so on the monday after sunoo's salon weekend, everyone at your high school was shocked as their whole friend group showed up with different colours of hair that seemed to not match them, yet matched them at the same time. they all held back their smiles as they caught everyone's shocked expressions.

it seemed that everyone was shocked about jay's hair- his mother even screamed when he came in the door with it- except for his father who only stole a glance at it before returning back to his 'important' paperwork.

so, when the principal informed his parents that he wouldn't be able to graduate if he kept the grades he had at the moment, he stole a glance at his father- thinking that maybe then his father would hold the shocked expression he only saw once before.

but nothing.

just the same serious- almost bored - expression that he always wore.

"so what can we do?" your mother asked the principal, hoping that there was something that could be done for her son.

so the idea of park jay getting a tutor for the rest of the year was brought up, jay groaned while his mother sighed out of relief and his father remained with the same expression he always adorned.

when you looked up at jay from the ridiculously big textbook, he thought to himself that he must've looked less like his father than ever before with the shocked expression on his face.

he had honestly expected his tutor to be some annoying, nerd guy that would piss him off to the extent of him grabbing the guy's calculator and throwing it at his face. so he had smoked a lot before he needed to be at his 'important' tutor session.

he had smoked so much that he had thought he was literally seeing things when he met your eyes and realized just who it was that would be tutoring him. sure, his vision was kind of out of whack from the amount of weed he and heeseung had just shared in the parking lot but he didn't think he was that high that he'd see a different face on a different body.

"uh, hi?" you spoke up at him, those innocent eyes that he's seen up close only once before bore into him and he realized that maybe smoking before his tutoring session was a mistake- and he's never regretted getting high before.

"hi." jay forced himself to say, his brain beating himself up after hearing it sound so robotic.

so it took you maybe two seconds of analyzing the park jay standing beside you to realize that he was in fact high. he was high while you were supposed to be tutoring him in your school library and the thought had made you very nervous.

sure you had smelt weed before while walking through the hallways at school sometimes. but you've never seen it- or seen any drugs in fact before. you've never been high or drunk before or even been around anyone that's been high or drunk before.

so now park jay is very high standing beside you and you wanted to run away in case a teacher comes by and sees him- taking you with him since you're supposed to be tutoring him.

"you're y/n?" jay asked you, surprising even himself that he sounded normal now.

"yeah, i'm your tutor," you responded meekly, wanting to hit yourself with your introduction and with the way jay was now smirking down at you. you've spoken to park jay for maybe three sentences now and you're already sounding like the nerd everyone thinks you are.

you hear jay chuckle deeply before moving to sit down in the chair beside you. the smell of weed follows him and surrounds you as he sits. his bag swinging onto the table almost makes your eyes bulge out of your head when the weed smell intensifies and the thought of literal drugs being less than a meter away from you.

"um, do you want to start tutoring next tuesday instead?" you force yourself to smile at the all-adorned black-clothed boy, avoiding eye contact.

"why not today?" jay asks, seeing that you can barely look in his direction.

"w-well, there's only twenty-five minutes left now and you're, um, you're...." you trail off, not wanting to embarrass yourself.

jay smirks at your quiet voice, thinking about how shy you truly are. "i'm what? say it."

"you're... high." you finish, your head looking straight down at your hands twiddling your fingers in your lap.

it's silent for a moment between you and jay park and you're sure that you've offended him until he bursts out laughing. you turn your head to look at the laughing boy, unsure of what to do. if you weren't so nervous then you probably would be laughing too at the sight of pure enjoyment on his face as he swings his head back and laughs out into the library.

you see other students around turn and glare at the direction of the noise, but ultimately turn around quietly when they see who's the loud person.

"w-what?" you ask him, a small smile on your lips.

jay stops laughing and looks at you intently. he thinks to himself that it's weird to see you this close up for this long of an amount of time. it gives him time to take in your cute presence and to become aware of how odd you two must look sitting beside each other. you're wearing light colours and your hair is done so neatly while he's wearing all black and he can't remember the last time he's actually ever styled his hair. "have you ever been high before, y/n?"

your shoulders tense more at the volume of his voice, not believing that you're talking about being high with park jay in your school's library. "no." you squeak out embarrassingly. apparently embarrassing yourself in front of jay is the only thing you can do around him.

jay's not surprised at your answer, it's the only answer he was expecting. but it still doesn't get rid of the smirk that's on his face as he scans your rosy cheeks and red-from-biting plump lips. "do you wanna get high today?" you almost jump up from shock at his question, "with me?" he continues and then you almost faint. park jay just asked if you wanna get high with him.

"uh," you started out, not knowing how to answer him. luckily, he starts laughing again, allowing you to think of an answer.

"it's okay, y/n, i'm just kidding. i know a girl like you wouldn't get high with a guy like me." jay starts to put his binder into his bag as he gets ready to leave, letting you sit in silence for a moment trying to process his sentence.

"what does that mean?" you turn your head and look him dead in the eyes now, surprising him. the sudden confidence that he doesn't know if you're pretending to have or if you really have it and he's just a clueless idiot. all he knows is that the way your pretty eyes are staring into his is making his heart feel weird but maybe that's just from the weed.

"i mean, you're so good that it's like a halo is literally hovering above your head. and me," jay shakes his head as he swings his bag over his shoulder, "i don't think I've ever had a halo in my life."

you still sit as jay gets up and walks around you to leave, "do you want to have a halo?" you ask him, not being able to stop your curiosity.

jay almost laughs as he turns around and stares down at your innocent little figure once again. he puts his hand down on the table beside you, holding himself up as he leans down towards you, "i think it's too late for me to have a halo, y/n."

and then jay decides that you really do have a lot of confidence because the way you speak to him next is filled with so much power it makes him think that everything he's ever thought about you is wrong, "then come to your tutoring session next week on time and not high and we can see if it's too late or not."

jay stands up straight at your statement, his notorious smirk spreading across his face as a smirk spreads across your own. "fine," he agrees, "i'll be on time next week and not high." he takes a few steps back still facing you.

"and not drunk either." you point out, making his smirk drop for a second before reappearing again.

"okay, smartass. i'll see you next week." jay rolls his eyes with a teasing smile and walks out of the library- probably to heeseung's house where he and the rest of them can smoke some more.

you've been called smart countless times before that it's gotten to the point where it means nothing to you. but you've never been called a smart ass. and it makes you almost laugh out loud to yourself because it's seemed to bring a whole new meaning of smart to you and you don't think anyone would've ever called you it besides park jay and it that just makes it even funnier to you.

so then, you and park jay spend the rest of the week excited for your next tutoring session.

you only saw jay once during the week until your (hopefully) proper tutor session.

though, it's not like you were looking for him as you zoomed through the other students in the hallways as you walked to your other classes. seeun kept asking you about how tutoring park jay went but, you didn't exactly tell her that he showed up insanely high.

you loved yoon seeun. you really did.

but she was a snitch.

you knew that if you told her that park jay could barely see you last week- to the point where you could just feel him staring at you when you weren't looking- that she would tell your teacher. because although you were considered a 'goody two shoes you weren't the kind to go into other peoples' business like seeun. but that was just her. she liked knowing drama about everyone and she cared so much about you that if she found out you were around jay while he was high- that she would do something to protect you.

because yoon seeun loved you. she really did.

so why would she want you to be around a literal delinquent like park jay?

"if he does anything to you y/n, seriously, you need to tell me, his sexual history is so long!" seeun warns you as she takes a bite into her sandwich.

you smile at her, "yes, seeun, i understand, but it's been fine. he sits and listens and i sit and tutor that's it." you lie through your teeth but you know it's for the best.

jay walks into the cafeteria with his other misfit friends, his head turning to the table where he's seen you and seeun sit before almost out of instinct. so when you're there, your front faced towards the doors so he could see you. a pink headband in your hair to simply get your hair out of your face but makes jay think just how cute it looks on you.

"who're you looking at?" sunghoon asks from beside him as they all wait in the food line.

"what do you mean?" jay asks with his eyebrows furrowed at his silver-haired friend.

"well i know jake is looking at park sieun," sunghoon points over his shoulder to where jake stood with hungry eyes as he stared directly at the popular girl, "so who are you looking at?"

"im sorry but sieun's just so HOT." jake almost says painfully as he turns around to enter the conversation with jay and sunghoon.

jay makes a sound of disgust as the words 'hot' and 'sieun' are put into the same sentence. "bro, shut up, you're gonna make me not hungry." jay jokes, turning around and looking at the shitty food options of the day.

"how do you not find her hot? sunghoon man," jake taps sunghoon's shoulder as a form of agreeance, "you think sieun is hot, right?"

sunghoon shrugs in response, "she's okay."

"what?!" jake's eyes almost pop out of his head, "i think she's the hottest thing i've ever seen."

"bro i told you to shut up or i'm gonna be sick!" jay protests again, thoughts of the annoying girl popping into his head made his head hurt.

"i wanna know who jay thinks is hot." sunghoon nods towards him with a smirk on his face.

"i don't think anyone's hot." jay shakes his head, "at least not here."

"really? then who were you looking at?"

"what makes you think that just because i was looking in a certain direction that i think someone is hot?"

"because you don't look in any certain direction besides at us while you're here- you hate everyone here." sunghoon says with an obvious tone.

"ou," jake points at sunghoon as he agrees with his point, "jay does think someone is hot. who?" jake smiles evilly at his friend.

jay sighs, "she's over there in the corner." he tilts his head to the direction where you are sitting. instantly his two friends turn and are so obviously looking for someone that is almost embarrassing jay.

"the girl with the pink headband?" sunghoon asks, letting jay nod.

"bro she is so not your type and she would so not be into you." jake shakes his head in shock at you.

jay feels his fists clench at his sides, "yeah? and who'd you think she'd be into? a guy like you?" jay gestures to jake's chains dangling from his jeans and red and black hair. jake only rolls his eyes in response before looking over at you again.

"i agree that she's not your type. she's too cute and too pure." sunghoon nods, imagining that there are butterflies flying around you as you talk to your friend. for some reason sunghoon's comment really pisses jay off. he doesn't like the fact that other guys can see how truly cute and innocent you are.

"actually, she is kinda hot," jake speaks after further analyzing you, making jay snap his head towards his friend, "but in an 'i really want to ruin you' type way because you know she's never been touched before. god that's actually so ho-" jake's sudden fantasy gets cut off with jay storming off, pushing past his friends. "bro, what's wrong?" jake called after him.

"i told you that if you didn't shut up i wouldn't feel good!" jay yelled back, not caring that the other people in the cafeteria were looking at him as he slammed open the cafeteria doors. and he really didn't feel good. he didn't know what it was about jake talking so dirty about you that made him want to throw up. he's heard jake say dirtier things about other girls before and jay didn't even bat an eye at it. but since it was about you- it was different. and it was a type of difference that made him feel sick.

sunghoon and jake looked at each other once their friend was out of sight, only smirking and shrugging before telling the lunch lady what they wanted to eat.

"does he always have to cause a scene?" seeun rolled her eyes as she turned back towards you, jay storming out caught the eyes of everyone else as well.

you frowned as you watched his combat boots hit the cafeteria floor and push the doors open with force so suddenly until he was gone. you wondered what had gotten the boy so angry so quick as you noticed his other friends still standing in the lunch line.

though you were curious about it, you didn't ask him what it was about the next day when he came into the library, smirking at you as soon as he opened the doors and started making his way towards the table you were sitting at- five minutes early.

jay stood beside where you sat again, looking down at you, "hi y/n."

"hi, jay." it was awkward for a moment before he sat down, throwing his bag on the table again as he pulled out his school supplies. and this time, you didn't smell any weed and his eyes weren't bloodshot. there was no strong scent of liquor either.

when jay got his supplies ready, he sat and looked at you, an eyebrow quirked up at your suspicious expression as you looked at him.

"well." jay shook his head as if he was ready for something.

"well, what?" you asked confused.

jay sighed as he sat back in his chair, "aren't you gonna ask me if i'm high or drunk?"

you almost smiled at him, "jay, did you smoke or drink?"

"nope!" jay popped the 'p' sound as he really did smile at you.

"really?" you asked suspiciously at the delinquent boy.

"well," jay trailed off, making your heart sink for a second, "i smoked a cigarette but that was it!" jay almost laughed as he looked at your disgusted face. "what?"

"i think it'd be better for your health if you did smoke weed." you rolled your eyes, pulling out your own textbook to prepare to tutor him.

"what does that mean? you were the one who was saying 'blah blah halo blah blah don't get high' last week." jay mimicked your voice.

"yeah but at least weed doesn't give you lung or tongue cancer," you stated the facts.

"i'm not gonna get lung or tongue cancer." jay mused, picking up his pencil as you passed him a piece of paper.

"you will if you keep smoking cigarettes."

"so you want me to start showing up to our tutor sessions high?"

"no, i-!"

"well then i'm gonna keep smoking cigarettes."

you huffed at him, taking a deep breath before looking at him, "turn to page 34, please." you gestured to his closed textbook.

jay smirked to himself when you weren't looking, knowing that you tutoring him wasn't going to be as bad as he thought.

after three weeks of 'properly' tutoring park jay- you could tell that he was done with it. he was bored and he wasn't trying and he was making it really hard for you.

"jay, at least look at the paper." you grabbed his attention from his staring aimlessly at the wall.

"i can't." he groaned, sitting up and looking at you. "all you do is ask me questions that i don't know the answers to and i don't even care about the answers." you sighed as you put your pencil down beside his that he hasn't even touched.

"well, i think it'd be better if you did care, because you need to graduate this year, right?"

"it doesn't matter if i graduate or not."

"yes, it does, jay."

"and why does it matter?" jay leaned over his elbow to look at you. the look in his eyes making you look away from him. it had been four weeks that you had been tutoring jay and you still couldn't look him in the eyes.

"w-well, because i-i thought you wanted to see if you could get a, um a halo," you speak quietly, almost embarrassed by your choice of how to persuade this boy to study and pay attention.

"do you think i could ever get a halo?" jay asks you, and his tone is serious compared to all the other times he speaks to you in a flirty or teasing tone.

"yes." you nod sternly, glancing at him briefly before looking down at your lap again. jay smirks at how cute you are, too cute and too good for him. but the way that you think he could become good is so naive of you that not even himself believes it. there's no way he could become as good as you. even his parents have no faith. he thinks that if he asks his parents if he could ever get a halo they would laugh in his face- but you sound so sure he could that it makes him want to believe you.

"have you heard anything about me, y/n?" jay sits back in his chair with his smirk, "because if you have then i don't think you'd think that."

"yeah, i've heard a few things." you nod quietly, thinking back to everything that seeun has told you in the past.

"like what?" jay asks in the teasing tone that you've become used to.

"that- that," you sit up in your chair as you prepare to speak, "you party a lot, and you do drugs and drink and y-you..."

"i what?"

"you have sex a lot."

jay feels his cock twitch as you say the word. it doesn't sound right as it comes out of your mouth but you turn him on at the same time. your sentence is also a painful reminder that he really would be no good for you.

"hm." jay hums as you feel the heat on your cheeks, wondering if you had offended him now. "can i tell you what i've heard about you?"

"sure." your heart picks up its pace, anxious to know what others say about you. anxious to know what park jay thinks about you.

"i've heard that you're some sort of genius, and that you don't go to parties-ever- and that you're an innocent, little, goody-two-shoes."

you weren't surprised at jay's statement but you were thoroughly upset that you knew that jay knew that you were something close to a loser. it upset you but you had no idea as to why. why should you care that you're an innocent loser and jay is so popular and hot? oh.

"im guessing by that look on your face that everything i heard is true." jay broke your train of thought. you could only glance at him briefly before returning to your textbook, unsure of what to say to get him to think you weren't some loser. "how about you come to a party this weekend?"

your jaw drops as you look up at him, "n-no, i can't."

"and why not? you're the one who seemed so upset when i told you what people are saying about you."

"well, because i can't! i may not like what people say about me, but i can't do anything about it."

"sure you can, come to a party this weekend with me."

you quirk an eyebrow up at his suggestion, "with you?" jay nods with a smirk. "don't you have a test on monday that you need to study for?" jay's smirk drops.

"yeah, so?"

"so you should study for it if you want to graduate this year."

jay rolls his eyes and sits back in his chair, "how about this, i won't go to the party friday night if you come over instead."

you felt the wind knock out of your chest, "and why would i come to your house?"

jay's stupid smirk returns to his face at your red cheeks, "so we could study, obviously."

"i- jay. you should be able to study on your own."

"then what's the point of having a cute tutor?"

there was a silence between you as you both processed jay's question. there was just no way that park jay just called you cute. and jay was preparing to punch himself with the way he so carelessly told you what he's been thinking about you for years. it felt like both of you were dreaming.

jay opened his mouth about to apologize for making you feel uncomfortable until you spoke first, "fine, i'll come to your house, but to study. and to only study." you gave the dressed-in-all-black boy a serious look as he tried to hold back the small smile creeping onto his face.

"of course, what else would we do?" jay sat back in his chair again, never trying so hard to be cool in his entire life before.

you rolled your eyes at the boy before shoving another study assignment towards him, making a groan leave his mouth.

-- -- -- -- -- -- -- --

park jay texting you his address on a random saturday afternoon was something you never thought would happen.

but walking up to a gigantic mansion that park jay apparently lived in was a dream.

the house was so pretty that it really made you feel like you didn't even deserve to set a foot on the property. but you forced yourself up the pretty porch stairs and knocked on the pretty door. you weren't really shocked when a pretty woman opened the door- expecting someone as pretty as her to own a house as pretty as this one.

"hi there, you must be jay's tutor." she smiled with a tilt of her head as she looked you up and down.

"mom!" you heard a familiar voice groan from behind her.

"oh sorry," the woman- jay's mom-, turned and let you come, "i guess im not used to jay having a tutor i-"

"mom!" jay groaned again, making his mom laugh as she closed the door behind you.

you turned and looked at where jay stood on the bottom step of a staircase that twirled around upwards towards the second floor. his upper half looked like how it usually did. an oversized black, band t-shirt and silver jewlery adorning his neck and ears. but you were taken aback by the grey sweatpants he wore. sure it was a casual thing to wear- but jay usually stuck to a strict black jeans or black ripped jeans attire at school.

"sorry!" you heard his mother laugh out from beside you as you tried to peel your eyes away from jay's so casual yet so jay chose of clothing. "i'm miyoung, jay's mother. and you're y/n, right?" jay's mother's smile was so intimidatingly pretty that you couldn't help but smile back. you've known this woman for a minute and you could already tell just how different she was from jay.

"yes, nice to meet you." you bowed politely to the older woman. she bowed back to you, offering to take your jacket for you before letting jay basically usher you away upstairs.

miyoung wouldn't be over exaggerating when she said she was nervous for a girl like you to be alone with a boy like her son. even she could tell that you were just too good to be around a boy as, and as much as she hated to say it, as bad as jay.

"i'm sorry about that." jay said as you followed him through a long, white hallway that had family portraits hung on the walls, along with what seemed to be very expensive paintings. there were doors that led to all different kinds of rooms and two other hallways beside the one that jay led you down on the second floor.

"about what?"

"about, you know, my mom." jay rolled his eyes as he turned to you, opening a door on the left side of the hallway for you to enter.

you chuckled at his answer, "it's fine, she's so sweet." you looked at him as you passed him to enter the room first. and you were nervous before you even arrived at jay's house, but you were even more nervous once you realized that you were in his bedroom.

"yeah, well she can a lot sometimes." you heard jay speak from behind you as he entered himself after you.

you stood in the entranceway of his room as he moved around you and towards a desk that looked barely used, only having a textbook on top of it. the rest of his room looked like a normal teenager boy's room: a slightly messy made bed with a grey duvet and black headboard. there were some shelves with some pictures and trophies on them, and a simple black tv across the wall from the bed.

"you can sit on my bed if you want." jay spoke to you, sitting down in his desk chair. you nod to him and move to sit on his bed, facing him at his desk that's in front of you. he almost laughs with the way you're sitting so awkwardly on his bed. "should we just start?"

"uh, sure." you nod, pulling out your own textbook from your bag.

"y/n," jay calls your name, making you halt your actions and look over at him, "if you're gonna be this awkward the entire time then you don't have to stay if you don't want to."

"i-i'm not being awkward." you stutter, trying to prove a point that doesn't exist.

jay scoffs, "it's okay. i guess we don't know each other that well and you're sitting on my bed so." jay points at the mattress under you, making you try to not shift awkwardly on it as you couldn't stop thinking about it as well.

"w-well, how about we get to know each other." your boldness shocks the both of you in his boyish bedroom.

"y/l/n y/n wants to get to know me?" jay smirks as he leans over his textbook to look at you.

"well, it's just so we can study, and you can graduate." jay sighs at your answer, it's so obvious that that's the only reason he's got you on his bed and it will remain the only reason.

"right, what do you want to know?"

"mm," you wonder out loud, looking around his room before settling on the obvious, "what do your parents do for work?"

jay smirks at your question, "my dad is some big-time ceo for some travel agency and my mom's a teacher." oh, that explains the big house. "how long have you been going to our high school."

his question makes you laugh out loud, making him smile at the sound of your laugh. he's never heard you laugh like this since you've been tutoring him for the past month and a half.

"i've been going there since the first day of freshman year." you shake your head at him, his question just proving that you really live up to your apparent reputation.

"oh," jay nodded, "i remember seeing you in year 10. i just never saw you in year 9, i like never went that year."

"you saw me in year 10?" you ask him, your heart racing at his words.

"yeah, that time i stood on your essay because you bumped into me."

"you remember that?" you ask with a smile on your face, surprised that he would remember such a small encounter.

"yeah! i was high out of my mind but that was the first time i saw you so, like of course i'd remember." his words make you look away from him, and you bite your lip in order to hide your smile and blushed cheeks.

you glance over at his busy shelves that hold pictures from when he was younger, to pictures of his friends and to trophies that look like they haven't been touched in years and you asked him more questions about his life, and you would struggle with answers for his.

"why don't you answer straightforwardly." jay spun around slightly in his chair, a smile through his frustration.

"i'm sorry!" you laughed at him, "i just, i find it hard to open up i guess." jay nods at your answer, ", especially to guys who i'm supposed to be tutoring."

"hey!" jay called out, "i mean, we don't have to study, we could-"

"we're studying!" you interrupted him, picking his textbook off of his carpeted floor and tossing it gently into his lap. "page 234."

jay sighed, but opened his textbook, telling himself to get through this afternoon with his head in his book.

and jay really did study. it was the most you've ever seen him interact with his textbook and pencil. he'd ask you questions if he didn't understand. he took his time answering the questions and really thinking of the answers. you figured that it was probably because he was home where he felt like he could be himself. there weren't a thousand kids all staring at him like he was some crazed criminal that would turn on them in a second. he wasn't surrounded by people he hated.

he was with you, who looked too pure to be sitting on his grey duvet, and his mother was humming a song downstairs that was barely audible, but when it got silent as he worked on a question you'd be able to hear it. even with the words, he was struggling to put together and his mother's humming he found it hard to ignore the fact that your pretty thighs were exposed to him on his bed. the way they contrasted with his old duvet didn't make sense to him and he figured next time you'd come he'd get his mother to put a new, nicer one on that suit you more.

your parents started to text you to come home around dinner time, the two of you feeling proud of how much jay had actually studied and learnt that day. as he walked you down to the front door of his house, his chest was filled with a tightness he's never felt before. and you waved to his mom as you started to go down his pretty porch steps from his pretty house.

"y/n." jay called out to you from his doorway.

"yeah?"

"nothing." jay shrugged suddenly finding words to say was hard.

you smiled sweetly at him, "good luck on your test, jay."

jay only smiled back at you, before stepping back into his house and closing the door, your figure disappearing from his sight.

"she seems like a good girl." he hears his mother say from behind him.

"yeah, because she is." jay nods, too good. and it makes him think that even though he's seemingly understanding how math works now, it makes him think that if he gets too good at math that he won't be able to see you anymore. because there will be no way in hell a good girl like you would hang out with a boy like him.

the next tuesday tutor session between you and jay started when he slammed down his test in front of you on the table.

the loud bang disturbed every other student in the library but jay of course didn't seem to care as you looked up at him and he held the greatest smirk you had ever seen him wear.

"seventy.nine.percent." is all he said to you as he looked down into your eyes.

"seventy-nine?" you yelled out, disturbing others, but unlike jay you did care, mumbling a sorry to the other students who gave you dirty looks and whispered to jay for him to sit down. "seventy-nine?" you whisper shouted to him, excited that he maybe was failing that much anymore.

"seventy-nine!" jay said nodded, that stupid smirk on his face still.

and then you saw it.

the piece of metal that was now wrapped around jay's bottom lip.

the cool silver of the ring securely clung to his rosy, plump lip.

"uh, g-good job," you muttered out, trying to congratulate him on his high mark but too distracted by the new jewlery that he adorned.

"Thanks." he smiled at the way you couldn't stop staring at his lips. "is there anything you want to ask me?" jay teased you, pouting out his bottom lip, rebutting your inner thought of it being a fake piercing.

"yeah uh, when did you get that?" you asked him, touching your own bottom lip as to where his was on his own lips.

"yesterday." jay shrugged, his tongue running over the metal, making your eyes follow it.

"what made you decide to get it?" you asked curiously, your mind just racing with thoughts and questions about it.

"my mom said she'd disown me if i got any more piercings." jay shrugged, pulling out his textbook casually.

"so, you went and got it pierced?"

"yeah."

you couldn't believe him as you continued to watch him act like it was a normal day occurrence. and you couldn't help but think about how well the piercing suited him. it tied in his whole appearance and made butterflies grow in your stomach.

"do you like it?" jay asked you, noticing the way that you couldn't stop staring at his new piercing, a smirk growing on his lips at your glazed eyes.

you felt the blush that never seemed to leave your cheeks when you're with jay arise onto your face, "yeah, it's nice."

"it's nice?"jay teased you, leaning over the table to look straight into your eyes, a chuckle leaving his mouth once he sees that you can't meet his gaze.

"it- it suits you."

jay smirks at your cute remark and sits back in his chair, absentmindedly twirling his pencil as he waits for you to get ready to tutor him. "you know," he starts suddenly, just as you're about to give him an assignment, "since i didn't go to a party last weekend, you should come to a party with me this weekend."

you sigh at the mention of a high school party because you've already heard so much about them- especially about the ones that jay and his friends go to. "i've already told you that i don't go to parties."

"but why," jay groaned, "you're the one that was upset about your reputation, so how about you change it this weekend?"

the mention of your reputation made your body tense, remembering that that probably still is what jay thinks about you. "i- i just can't go."

jay huffs and crosses his arms, his chest popping out as he still leans back in his chair, his legs straight out under the table and bumping into your own. "how about you come over again this weekend, to study more."

"what? you don't have a test for another two weeks why would i need to come over this weekend?" you asked him with genuine confusion.

jay only sighs at how oblivious you are to his flirting before sitting up, "because i learn a lot from you, obviously," he points at his test, "and you're fun to hang out around, i guess."

his statement makes you stop flipping through your textbook as you slowly look up at him, glancing at his damn lip piercing before meeting his eyes, "how am i fun?" all you ever do with him is ignore his stupid remarks and talk about school.

"you're fun to tease."

your jaw dropped as you tried to hide your smile, "i'm fun. to tease?"

"yeah, so you should come over again this weekend, so you can tutor me and i can tease you."

you scoffed, looking away from him in disbelief but amusement, "fine."

"fine?" jay genuinely smiled at you.

"yes. fine." you grinned, "now please, try questions 1 to 5."

jay let out a groan that made other students look at your table again, only this time you could care less about their angry stares as thoughts of park jay went through your mind.

-- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- --

jay waking up ten minutes before you were supposed to arrive is definitely not what had planned on saturday.

especially the part with him still feeling high from going to a party last night with heeseung.

jay scrambled around his room, trying to find a better shirt to wear instead of the one he wore last night that currently smelt like shitty alcohol and sweat. all he could think about was how fucked he'd be if you came in and saw him like this.

jay knew how uncomfortable you got when you were around someone that wasn't completely sober- and he couldn't imagine how'd you feel being in someone else's house with them still high from the night before.

"fuck, fuck, fuck." jay mumbled to himself as he quickly rinsed his face with water. looking in the mirror, he didn't think he looked too fucked but maybe he was just too used to seeing himself like this.

and he hated that.

last night was the first party that he had gone to where he didn't thoroughly enjoy himself. sure, he had fun because heeseung was there and the music wasn't bad. but it seemed like the drugs and alcohol couldn't distract his mind anymore. so kept drinking, and he kept smoking and the next thing he knew he was waking up in a jolt because you'd be at his house in a matter of minutes.

heeseung could tell that his friend wasn't his usual self the night before. he knew that jay liked to be intoxicated- but he could even tell that he was overdoing it. girls would come up to them, only for them to be shrugged off by jay. heeseung was shocked by it. he knew that jay hated mostly everyone, but he never shrugged at girls, no matter how annoying they were.

before heeseung could ask his friend was wrong, jay was already lost with the drugs and music, dancing in the middle of the party and fitting in with everyone else. heeseung almost laughed at the thought that if jay could see himself right now- he'd hate it.

so now, jay felt rugged and tired as he couldn't help but let his mind wander about the events of last night and what was wrong with him. he just wants to be good for you.

the knock at his front door really pushed his mind back into the present.

"oh hi, y/n!" his mother spoke from downstairs, "i don't know if jay's awake."

"oh, uh, i can come back then," you spoke out sheepishly, about to back out of the pretty house.

"i'm awake!" a quick voice spoke from the bottom of the stairs again. jay stood in grey sweatpants again, and a white and black shirt, his hair looking as if he had run his fingers through it a million times.

"oh! hi, honey. i didn't hear you up," miyoung said, moving to the side to let you come in.

"yeah, i've been quiet, i guess." miyoung perked an eyebrow up at him, knowing that he was lying through his teeth. she had heard jay come home at 4am last night, stumbling to his room before probably passing out. "let's go to my room, y/n." you smiled up at him at his position on the stairs, bowing to miyoung before the following jay up into his room.

his room looked the same as it did the weekend before. but the curtains weren't drawn and his bed was messier. "sorry about the mess." jay said, realizing you were scanning his room. he quickly shoved some clothes that were lying on the floor into his closet before shutting the door to it.

"it's okay." you smiled, sitting down at his desk this time. you put your backpack on the ground beside your feet, watching as jay opened his curtains before sitting on his bed. jay seemed quieter today than he's ever been when he's around you. he looked almost out of it as he started taking his textbooks out of his own bag. "sorry, if you were sleeping before i came."

"no, it's okay!" jay said, waving his hand in the air, "i wasn't sleeping." you nodded your head, feeling almost awkward as you sat across from each other. "do you want to start with biology?"

"sure." you chirped too excited, trying to mask your awkwardness. you weren't sure why you were feeling this way. it just seemed like jay wasn't prepared for your arrival and it made feel like you weren't wanted there.

"what page was the biochemistry on again?"

"481." you heard jay start turning the pages of his textbook as you got your papers out and ready. "i can't find it."

"no? 481?" you restated, looking at your own textbook. "let me see." you got up and walked over to his spot on the bed, leaning over his shoulder slightly, trying to find the right page for him. you felt jay straighten his back at your presence, making you more awkward as your eyes skimmed the pages quickly.

jay thought he was going to die with your face so close to his. he didn't want you to smell weed on him. your hair was dangling over your own shoulder, letting him see the side of your face as you focused on helping him. he could see you were chewing on the inside of your cheek, a habit that he's picked up on quite quickly.

"here." you pointed at a highlighted part on his textbook, "sorry, you have a different edition of the textbook than me so the pages are kind of off." you nodded to him, moving away from him to go back to your chair.

"shouldn't we share mine then, so we don't get confused." jay smirked at you standing above him. you rolled your eyes at him with a smile. "it'd be easier."

you agreed and sat down beside him on his bed, he sat with his legs crossed under his textbook while your legs dangled off the side. you made sure your skirt was covering your thighs as you tutored the boy.

you thanked god that jay was pretty easy to teach. he was funny and he flirted with you the majority of the time, but still, he knew when he had to listen and actually seemed interested in learning sometimes. you think it was the first time that you ever had fun while tutoring someone.

jay thought that it would be over for him once he was forced to go to a tutor. he really thought that he would never graduate hell high school because why the hell would he want someone to tutor him. but since it's you that's the tutor, he really gave it a try.

it's not like jay was stupid. he just didn't see a point in listening to teachers or even going to school. he guesses that schoolwork is actually pretty easy for him because you're the one that's teaching him.

he finds it so easy to listen to you. the way you actually take your time with him to see if he understands everything. you're so caring in general about everything and everyone in your life that it makes him jealous.

with your appearance, he can tell how much thought you put into it- and he's selfish enough to think that sometimes you dress with the thought of him in your mind. he's sure that you've noticed how many times he's stared at your legs in skirts during the past month.

so now jay has the thought of your bare legs against his bed and he can't stop himself from staring at your soft skin and the way your thighs would feel against the palm of his hands and how delicate he'd have to be with them so they don't bruise.

"jay?"

"hm?" he replies to you, not even hiding the fact that he was staring at your legs. he caught the way that you were trying to hide your blush as you realized where he was staring as well.

"i asked if you wanted to take a break, you don't seem to be paying much attention anymore."

"yeah, a break sounds good." jay nods, closing his textbook and throwing it to the bottom of his bed.

jay's hand comes to lay beside him so it's in between you and him. his pinky finger brushing against the lower part of your thigh where your skirt has ridden up. it's silent for a moment, both of you aware of the small touch lingering with the two of you, but both of you can't find yourselves to care.

his finger slowly brushes up and down, it being the only movement in the room besides your chest moving frantically from your heavy breaths. jay assumes that you've most likely never been on a bed with a guy before (and he's right!) and he doesn't want to make you uncomfortable and the weed from the night before is probably not helping him make decisions. so he moves his hand farther up so it's resting on your thigh.

his movement makes both of you turn your heads to look at each other, the warmth from each other's bodies growing substantially.

"do you like tutoring me?" jay asks, a smirk on his face as he scans your own.

"mhm," you almost whisper with a nod, "you're easy to teach."

jay smiles at your innocent answer, "can i tutor you now?"

your eyebrows scrunch in confusion, "tutor me about what?"

jay hums in thought for a moment, rethinking all of the life choices that have brought him here as his fingers lightly trace figures on your skin. it's just as soft as he imagined and he feels himself becoming entranced by it. "well you've taught me how to be a good student," jay and you pause to smile at each other in agreement, "how about i teach you how to be bad now?"

you pause at his words, excitement filling your lungs as you look down at his still freshly pierced lip ring. his eyes hold the mischief that they usually do, but they're mixed with something like genuine concern and care. his gaze mixed with that god forbid hot lip ring is what makes you nod your head until jay is reaching over to your neck and trailing soft kisses down it.

"you're okay with this, right?" jay whispers to you, looking straight into your eyes as he pulls away.

"yes." is all you can speak, still not over the feeling of his warm lips and cold metal pushed against your neck. his lips begin to kiss over your shoulder before he pulls away again.

"and you'll tell me if you want me to stop? because i will."

his words make your stomach flip as you never thought bad boy park jay could be so caring. "yes, jay."

jay pulls away and smiles at you one more time before ushering you to lay down with him, your head meeting his soft pillow. jay was laying on his side, lips still kissing your neck as his fingers played with the hem of your skirt. and jay thinks to himself that he's never been so careful before in his life. he was acting as if you were made out of glass.

"has anyone ever touched you before, y/n?" jay asks, kissing your jaw once before pulling away to look at you.

"no." you nod, somewhat embarrassed at your confession, even though you assumed jay had already known the answer to it.

"just me?" jay asks, a smirk on his face.

"just you."

you feel jay smile against your skin before his fingers started to softly touch your core over your panties, your skirt being pulled up over your stomach. your cotton, pastel panties in yours and jay's sight. you feel like you should be embarrassed about your underwear choice- especially in a time like this- but jay moving slow circles over your clit takes the embarrassment away from you.

jay could feel your wetness through your panties, almost groaning at the thought of how wet you'd feel around his cock. you bit your lip to suppress the moan you already had as you watched his index finger circle directly over your clit. you had thought about jay for so long in this position and you never thought that it would happen.

jay's finger stopped and his hand started playing with the hem of your skirt as he kissed your neck again once. "you're so sensitive." jay breathlessly laughed into your skin. you covered your face at his statement, really feeling embarrassed now. "stop," jay laughed loud now, pulling your hands away. "it's cute," he pecked your jaw, "you're cute."

"you're too nice to be considered so bad," you spoke out to him, the throbbing in your core making your mind hazy.

"only for you." jay confessed, his fingers going back to play with the hem of your panties.

"just for me?" you mocked his words from before.

"just for you."

his fingers dipped into your panties now. jay almost moaned at how easily his fingers slipped between your folds. he heard your rought breath in his ear as he started to rub your engorged clit again, his finger pressing the right amount of pressure on it already.

"so wet." jay whispered to you, both of you looking down at his hand in your pants. he put his middle finger with his index finger as he made faster circles on your clit, your hips jolting up at his change in pace.

you could hear your wetness mix with jay's fingers as he rubbed you, spreading your juices around your core and in between your thighs. you let out a soft moan, biting onto the back of your hand to keep quiet so miyoung doesn't hear. god what if miyoung hears?

the thought only turns you on more even though you feel like it shouldn't. you were really, finally, letting go of that good girl persona you had on. you couldn't decide if it was good that you began to tutor jay or not as his index finger slipped slowly inside your core.

you let out a whimper at the feeling, never feeling it before. "does it feel okay?" jay asked, seeing you nod as he curled his finger upwards towards your belly button. "god, you're so tight." you could only nod as you could feel how tight you wrapped around his finger. he could barely push his index in and out slowly. "can't imagine how tight you'd feel around my cock." he feels you clench around his fingers tighter at his words. "do you like the thought of my cock inside of you?" you whimpered out in response to him, imagining the scenario in your head.

"say it."

"y-yes, i love it!" you moaned out, your arms bending so that your hand could play with jay's hair. you could feel jay smirk against your skin again before pulling his fingers away. you whined out at the stop of his motions before he put his fingers in his mouth, humming around them.

"'m sorry, but i really needed to taste you. been thinking 'bout it for so long." you felt your hips jolt up at his thoughts out of instinct, just thoughts of how hot this boy is were driving you crazy. he stuck the same two fingers out in front of your mouth, "spit." you pursed your lips and let your saliva drip down onto his fingers, earning a groan from him before he started rubbing your clit again with his and your saliva mixed together.

"j-jay." he hummed against your skin in response, "feels t-too goo-d."

"gonna cum?" he asked you, kissing your cheek, an action so sweet compared to the speed he was rubbing your clit at.

"y-yes." you nodded up at him as he hovered above you on his shoulder. your fucked out gaze drove him crazy as he looked down at you.

"that's okay, angel, cum on my fingers," he whispered to you, his head leaning on yours now as you both watched his fingers rub against your clit under your panties. you moaned out, your hand gripping onto his hair tighter.

"jay!" you moaned out, your back arching as you hit your orgasm, his fingers not stopping as you rode it out. you felt your eyes close and open, leaning your head into jay's like some form of support.

"that's it, that's my angel, that's my good girl." jay whispered, kissing your forehead as his fingers slowed down. you whined as the sensitivity started to catch up on you, pushing his fingers away gently, making jay laugh. "can't do another one?"

"god, no." you smiled at his teasing expression. jay wiped his hands on his duvet (the one that he hated) and pulled your skirt back down so you were covered. "you still think i'm a good girl?" you asked him, turning on your side so you were facing him.

jay pulled away with a hum, looking above your head in the air, "yep, i still see the halo above your head."

you shoved his shoulder gently, "shut up."

"do you see my halo?"

you looked above his head at his question, "nope, just devil horns." jay shoved you back with a laugh, rolling so he layed on his back now.

"are you going to stay for dinner?" jay asked, the thought of his stomach being completely empty filling his mind.

"oh god." you sat up immediately at the mention of dinner, grabbing your phone off of his bedside table. "god, i have to go!" you exclaimed, realizing just how close to your dinner time it was and that your parents had probably already expected you home by now.

"what?" jay sat up on his elbows, watching you scramble around his room like he did earlier this morning, gathering your things in a hurry. "why?"

"my parents wanted me home like ten minutes ago for dinner," you said, barely looking at him as you shoved your things in your bag.

jay chuckled at your explanation before laying back down again, "yeah, you most definitely are still a good girl."

"shut it." were the last words you said to him with a laugh before pulling open his bedroom door and leaving his house, saying bye to miyoung before running home to your parents who were already sitting at the dinner table waiting for you.

park jay plops down in his usual spot in the library, wearing a bigger smirk than usual on tuesday afternoon.

"hi, jay." you looked up at him from your book.

"hi, good girl." you rolled your eyes at him and set your book down in front of you. "how was dinner with your parents on saturday?"

"fine." you shook your head in an obvious tone. when he didn't say anything in return you stared at him; his eyes were glazed over, his usual tense shoulders were fallen slack and the lazy smirk never left his face as he stared almost blankly at you. "are you high?"

the smirk left his face then.

"a little- and i'm sorry! i am! i didn't mean to get this fucked."

you sat back in your chair, distancing yourself from him the more you could, making jay feel even more guilty. "i thought you said you were going to try to not get high anymore."

"i was!" he most definitely wasn't. "but then i hadn't seen heeseung in a couple of days and he has a spare at uni right now so he drove by to see me!" he explained to you, the look of annoyance not leaving your face, "you're goody-two-shoes reputation won't be ruined because i'm high, y/n."

you scoffed, "yeah, well yours won't get any better. what happened to wanting a halo?"

jay bit his cheek, feeling guilty that he couldn't live up to your expectations of him. "i'm sorry. i won't get high anymore." you quirked your eyebrow up at him in disbelief, "i won't!" he laughed, nudging your foot with his own.

you couldn't help but smile and give in to him, unaware of just how dangerous it was to do.

"if you really don't want to tutor me today because i'm high that's fine, i'll see you saturday anyways right?"

"saturday?" you repeated with confusion.

"yeah, you tutor me every tuesday and saturday, right?"

you sighed at his teasing, "i guess." your answer made laugh before he stood up, nudging your book towards you again, "get back to reading, good girl."

you picked up your book, sticking your tongue out at him as swung his backpack over his shoulder to leave, "see you saturday."

"bye." you said to him, watching him leave the library without sparing a glance to anyone.

so that's how you ended up going to jay's house every saturday, seeing the boy more often than you had expected when you had agreed to tutor him. texting each other during the week was something you had never even thought would occur. but you were having fun, even if seeun had no idea what was going on.

you had thought long and hard about whether you should tell seeun about your blooming friendship with park jay. ultimately, you came up with the idea that you'd rather be dead than tell her. you knew she wouldn't accept it with all the warnings she had given you in the past four years you had known her- even last week she was telling you to be careful. maybe you should've listened to her.

but it was so hard to listen to her when park jay was staring at you with those pretty brown eyes of his from his bed.

"focus on the assignment, jay!" you scolded him playfully, catching him staring at you again.

"well stop being so fucking pretty and i might be able to!"

no matter how many times jay flirts with you, the blush never seems to escape your cheeks, "stop." you laughed, standing up from your chair and walking over to him, shoving his shoulder so he lay down on his bed. you sit down on his bed, looking down at him.

jay's hand reaches out and plays with your hand lazily, lacing his fingers in and out of your own. you felt your heart swell at his little touches.

suddenly, jay grabs your hand and pulls you down towards him, so your faces are an inch apart and your upper half is laying on top of him. "jay!" you cry at the suddenness before he's pressing his lips to yours.

you quickly realize what he's doing and start to press your lips back to his, slowly your lips move together before you're pulling apart just as fast as they came together. "you taste like cigarettes." you scrunch your eyebrows together.

jay pulls his head back and laughs out, "i told you I'd stop smoking weed, not tobacco."

you pout up at him, your chin resting on his chest as he looks down at you. his hand comes up behind you and starts to play with your hair. "don't give me that face, i'm trying, i want to switch reputations with you."

"you want to switch?" you ask, quirking your eyebrow up in amusement.

"yeah, like you become bad and i become good."

you roll your eyes at him, "that's stupid."

"i know, but i like seeing how bad you can be."

"and how bad do you think i can be?" you teased him, fluttering your eyelashes at him.

"let's find out." jay says, flipping you over so now he's on top of you, your hair spirling out across his pillow.

his lips come crashing down on yours, the movement so rough and sudden compared to his soft lips. the metal from his lip piercing felt so good against your lips that it reminded you about who exactly you were kissing.

jay started to move down your neck, kissing right behind your ear where he found your sweet spot. his hands stay perched on your waist as your legs wrap around his body, locking him in. your skirt has pooled up at your waist, leaving your panty core bare to his jean-clad crotch.

your hips ground up against jay's crotch, making him groan against your warm skin. he pulled away from your neck, his fingers playing with the hem of your panties like he did last time. "can i take these off, angel?"

"please," you begged him, wanting to feel more of him.

"so polite," he smirked down at you, kissing your forehead before pulling down your panties. your legs wanted to close at the sudden touch of cold air, but jay's broad shoulders kept them apart. jay leaned down so he was eye level with your core. "can i taste you, y/n?"

"yes, jay." you nodded down at him, his hand trailing up the side of you so he could lace his fingers with yours again, only this time it was in a more of an inappropriate action with the way his mouth was breathing warm air against your pussy.

jay left open-mouthed kisses on your thighs, teasing you slightly just like he always does. you were about to tell him to stop it before his tongue met your clit.

"god." you moaned out, your head leaning back against his pillow again at the feeling.

jay felt like he was in heaven. he had died and somehow ended up in heaven.

you felt so warm under him and with your hand laced in his. you tasted so good, so pure and just for him that it drove him crazy.

jay swivelled his tongue around your clit in circles, before dipping down and tonguing your hole.

"jay, oh god." you moaned out, unable to hold it in on the new feeling you were experiencing. he felt so talented with his tongue that you weren't sure how you could feel this good ever again.

you squeezed his hand tight as you made eye contact with him. jay moaned at your fucked out expression, which caused vibrations to go straight to your core.

"does it feel good, angel?"

"s-so good, jay." you nodded, seeing spit coat your pussy and his face.

jay's fingers trailed down your thigh, before sticking two fingers into your hole. "fuck, still so tight." jay groaned against your core, thankful for your juices and his spit to make his fingers ease in so well.

his fingers fucked into you at a slow pace, but his tongue swirled around your clit so fast that it caused your hips to buck up into his face. "s-sorry." you moaned out to him.

you felt him laugh into your skin, "don't be sorry, you're hot." jay sucked your clit into his mouth gently, his tongue circling it before he kissed your thigh again. you moaned out at jay's name at his compliment. it felt like a dream to be called hot by park jay- especially when he was eating you out.

his fingers continued to fuck up into you, scissoring once they were shoved all the way in before pulling out and doing it all over again.

you let go of jay's hand, sweat helping keep them together, and reached down to hold onto his hair, your hips digging closer to his face. you could hear how wet you were by the fast pace was jay was slipping his fingers inside of you now.

"oh my god." you moaned breathlessly, "d-don't stop jay, please."

"i won't, angel." jay responded, digging his face further into your wet pussy. "feel like coming?"

"y-yes, so close, so close."

jay kept fingering you, feeling your walls clench around his fingers so well until they were spasming, and your hips were grinding into his face with your back arched off the bed. his tongue kept sucking your clit until all your movement had stopped, and your moans had turned into small whimpers.

jay placed a kiss on your core as he pulled away, rubbing your clit quickly before pulling away which made you cry out.

jay laughed at you, bending down to kiss you right on your lips.

"so mean." you pouted at him, before kissing him again.

"so cute," he responded, pushing your hair out of your face before standing up and walking to his closet. you saw him start to search through his clothes, but you felt so dazed from your orgasm to ask what he was doing.

jay walked back over with a pair of black sweatpants that he had managed to find. he pulled your skirt down, making you realize just how bare you really were to him.

"what?" jay laughed at you suddenly pulling away from him, "don't act like my face wasn't just there."

"jay!" you cried out, your hands covering your face from his dirty words.

"what? it's true!" jay said, gently pulling your legs so they were straight again. "let me put these on you." you sighed and allowed him to slide his sweatpants over your bare legs. you moved your hips so he could pull them over and tie them at your waist.

when you have dressed again, jay leaned over you, pressing a soft kiss on your lips before resting his head on your chest. it was such a different action than what you would've assumed he would do.

everything you had heard about park jay before had completely left your mind at that exact moment. he wasn't the asshole, bad boy that everyone had described him as. he was sweet and thoughtful and he just liked to party with his friends.

so you played with his hair as he rested his eyes while laying on your chest- trying to hide his raging boner from you and enjoy this moment with you.

both of you were known for such different reputations, both wanting to stand out from this world, and together it felt like you did.

"do you wanna have dinner here tomorrow night?" jay asked, breaking the silence. he kept his eyes at the bottom of his bed where your legs intertwined. he had never asked a girl to have dinner at his house before and he was so nervous about the way he was feeling about it.

"sure." you shrugged, trying to hide your excitement by playing cool.

"my dad's gonna be here."

you had never met jay's father before. you've seen pictures of him around the house. and you had heard some stories about him from jay. you knew he seemed to be strict, and he worked a lot so jay wasn't particularly close with him.

"that's fine." you shrugged again, feeling jay's tense body on your own as he mentioned his dad.

"yeah?" jay looked up at you finally, brown doe eyes looked into your own.

"yeah."

jay smiled at you, leaning up to kiss you on the lips slowly, humming into your mouth with a feeling of contentedness. jay didn't really know what he was feeling at the time then. he knew his grades were improving, and his mom was less mad at him all the time, his friends were confused by his new revelations to not get obliviated by drugs or alcohol. but he had you underneath him and that's all he could ever ask for.

-- -- -- -- -- -- --

you had never been invited over for dinner to a boys' house before. so you had no idea what to expect as you walked up to the pretty house you had started to become familiar with. every time you walked up the long driveway, it felt intimidating and more friendly.

miyoung opened the door to you with a great smile on her face. she looked the same as usual- beautiful- but her clothing was more dressed up for the occasion.

"y/n!" she exclaimed, ushering for you to come in and to take off your jacket. "y/n's here!" she called out, turning her head towards the inside of the house for others to hear. your heart started racing at the thought of having a formal meal with park jay's family.

jay turned the corner from somewhere in the house, a smirk on his face as he saw you. he wore his usual all-black outfit- but it was more formal than usual and you almost drooled at the sight. he wore black jeans with a black turtleneck. his silver jewlery was wrapped around his fingers and neck- his lip piercing moved against his plush lips as he greeted you. "let's go sit down."

jay walked beside you behind miyoung, walking through their big house. you had never been this far into their house before- usually only going to jay's bedroom, the bathroom and back. it was what you expected it to look like. modern and fancy with great white walls that held expensive-looking decorations and art.

they led you to an even greater room with a long, dark oak table. there was a bright, crystal chandelier hanging above the table and a lovely candle stick in the center of the table.

at the far end of the table sat a man: jay's father.

he looked exactly like jay- but older and strict. he looked expensive and it almost made you quiver away from intimidation.

"james, this is y/n- jays' tut- friend. jay's friend." miyoung stopped herself, smiling at jay before he could groan out in embarrassment.

jay's father looked up from his watch before his eyes met yours. you smiled and politely bowed to him, "nice to meet you, sir."

"oh my, you don't have to call him sir, just call him james." miyoung brushed her hand on your shoulder, "come over here, you can sit across from jay." she ushered you over to one of the empty dining room chairs.

jay's dad hadn't said a word to you, only staring at you with an expression that you would describe as 'shock'. you heard jay stifle a laugh as he sat across from you, not believing that you is what made his father recover that stupid expression.

when jay's father came home earlier in the day- he thought maybe just maybe, his father would break his serious expression at the sight of jay's new lip piercing. but nothing. just a normal 'hello' before he went into his office for the rest of the day.

after years of jay trying to get his father to react to anything he does- the one thing he doesn't try intentionally is what makes his father break: you.

jay feels like he's in a sort of other dimensions as he takes in what is going on. his father is actually interested in something that is related to him. his mother is bringing delicious food out on the table for everyone to eat. and you're sitting across from him looking so pretty and anxious as you smile at his parents.

you feel jay nudge your foot under the table, making you look up at him. he winks at you, trying to reassure you that you're fine.

"so, how are you friends with," james started, pointing at his son, "jay." there was a hint of confusion in his voice as he looked between you two.

"uh, i tutor him sometimes," you explain, taking a sip of the water that miyoung had put down in front of you.

"Ah, so you're the reason why his grades have been getting better." james nodded at you. jay was shocked that his father had actually known he had been doing better at school.

"i've been helping, but he does his tests by himself and such so."

james hummed in approval, moving out of the way so miyoung could place more food on the table before she sat down herself.

"i hope you're all really hungry!"miyoung exclaimed, signalling that everyone can dig in now.

the dinner went by smoothly. james seemed to be impressed with every answer you came up with to his or miyoung's questions. you were talking more than jay was for once.

jay didn't know what to say as he watched you interact with his parents. he's never seen his parents act so interested in one of his friends before. they never even spoke a word to heeseung throughout all these years. jay didn't even want to say anything. he liked hearing you talk so confidently, it was nice to see you be yourself in front of someone that wasn't him.

jay leaned on his front door frame, staring down at you as you stood on his porch. it had started to become dark out now, the sun still setting at the far end of the city. you had bid miyoung and james a goodbye a few minutes ago, thanking them for the dinner as jay walked you out.

"are you okay?" you asked jay, staring at his blissful expression as he scanned your face. you had only ever seen jay this calm before when he was high.

"yeah, i'm really okay." jay nodded, his head shaking against the door frame. "sorry if my parents annoyed you or anything."

"they didn't, i like them, they're so nice."

"my mom's nice, i don't know about my dad, though."

you shook your head at him, "i had fun, don't worry."

"good," jay smiled at you, his fingers playing with the ends of your hair- an action that if he saw anyone else do he'd feel sick, but now it feels so comforting with you- "i'll see you in the library on tuesday, right?"

"of course," you nodded, backing down the porch now, "stay out of trouble, yeah?"

"of course." jay nodded, mocking you with a smile. "bye, angel."

"bye~." you sang out, turning and walking home with a full stomach of food and butterflies.

jay closed the door once you were out of sight, sighing before heading to the stairs for his room.

"jay?" his father called out to him from the living room.

"yeah?"

"come here."

jay quietly groaned as he turned around and went to see his father. he was sitting on the far end of the couch, turning the tv on mute once his son came in. "sit."

jay sat on one of the chairs that no one ever sat in. "what is it?" he didn't want to talk to his dad. he was tired and frustrated that he hadn't been able to smoke all day.

"are you and y/n, dating?"

jay didn't know how to answer his question. you weren't dating but god did he want to. it was something that jay had never had the urge to do before- date a girl and do boyfriend-girlfriend things- and he's sure his past self would cringe if he knew what he was thinking.

"no, we're just friends."

"and you're going to stay friends, right?" james quirked an eyebrow up at his son, unsure of what his intentions were with a girl like you.

"what does that mean?"

"it means that you shouldn't be even hanging around with her jay- you should've stayed as tutor and student."

"what the hell are. you talking about?" jay sat up in the unused chair.

"come on son, you know" james shook his head at him, scanning his face for a sense of knowing, when it didn't come he continued, "i don't know what you plan on doing with y/n, but you know that a girl like her shouldn't be hanging out with a boy like you."

"and what is that?"

james sighed, his fingers coming to pinch his nose bridge in frustration, "you're a troublemaker jay, and she's so innocent that-"

jay scoffed and stood up, cutting off his father's words.

"and so what? i'm just a troublemaker for life? i can't change?"

"of course you can! just not with her!" james stood up now, his hands coming out in front of him in explanation to his son.

"and why not?"

"because you'll ruin her while you're trying to fix yourself!"

the silence in the house is a silence that's never been there before.

there were nights in the park house where the only sound would be miyoung crying out of worry for her son. nights where jay's music would blast through from his room. and some nights, there would be nothing but james' breathing from the living room as he sat and watched tv on mute, trying to relieve his never-ending headache.

the silence now, as jay and his father looked at each other with anger and sadness was something that no one knew how to break. jay always knew that you would be too good for him. the moment he saw you years ago in the hallway- he knew that you were the one thing he had to stay away from. but now that he knew you- how could he stay away?

the silence went on until jay scoffed and left the room. he grabbed his jacket on his way out, slamming the pretty front door on the way out-it being the final sound in the house for the night.

jay doesn't remember the next day.

he knows that once he wakes up in the late afternoon on tueday in heeseung's bedroom- an hour of school left of the day- that he's fucked.

he's fucked because he knows he just messed up his attendance for the semester- and because his head feels like it's been bashed against the wall one million times.

he feels a weight on his side as he tries to move, turning his head to see sunghoon's passed-out figure, his arm resting on jay's body. jay sighs before gently shrugging off his arm, knowing that he won't wake up his drunk friend.

jay scrambles around heeseung's room, trying to find his shoes before going to the bathroom. he looks in the mirror to see a sight he's seen so many times. he's washing his face to try to get rid of any intoxication but he knows it's not going to do anything. and then jay's sighing as he's leaving heeseung's house, heading to the school so you can try to tutor him and he can pretend he didn't just spend the last twenty-four hours partying with his friends.

you had realized the frown on jay's face the moment he walked into the library. you didn't say anything because you knew that he was moody sometimes. you had realized that he wasn't trying the practice problems you had given him. you didn't offer to help him because you knew that he understood the concept.

it was almost completely silent between you two for the hour that you were supposed to tutor him until you finally spoke up about his behaviour.

"what's wrong?"

"hm?" jay asked, looking up from his paper that he hasn't touched.

"i asked what's wrong, you don't seem okay."

"'m fine." he mumbled, going back to staring at question one.

you pouted at his answer, your mind going blank when trying to figure out if you had done anything to upset him. you were obviously getting caught up in your mind about faults that didn't exist. jay could tell that you were feeling upset about him and it honestly broke his heart.

"y/n, i'm fine. just my stupid father." jay explained briefly to you, hoping that the pout on your lips would go away.

"what happened?"

"don't worry about it, it's whatever." jay shrugged you off, not wanting to explain to you that you're too good for him and everyone can see it.

you reached across the table and took his unused pencil out of his hand before lacing your fingers with his. "jay, what happened?" jay looked at your concern-filled eyes, hating himself more because you cared so much for him.

jay sighed, squeezing your hand back, "i don't want to ruin you, y/n."

"ruin me?"

"you're too nice, and caring, and smart and good. stuff that i'm not, and i don't want to change those things about you because you're hanging around with me."

"jay." you stated, staring at his worried face, when he didn't look at you, you squeezed his hand until he did, "jay, you are not going to ruin me. you know about our reputations and didn't we agree that high school reputations are stupid? so who cares if i'm a 'good girl' and you're a 'bad boy'. i can make my own decisions so you are not going to ruin me, okay?"

jay smiled sheepishly at you, realizing that maybe it's all been in his head, his father not helping him at all.

"okay." jay nodded, letting go of your hand so you both could pack your things to leave. when you were standing up jay called your name before he turned to leave. "do you wanna go on a date this weekend? like a proper one- not one that's just in my bedroom where we tutor each other."

you felt your cheeks turn hot at the mention of how you 'tutor' each other, but your heart warmed with the thought of going on an actual date with jay. to a public place where people would see you two together.

"yeah, sure." you nodded, biting your lip to hold back your smile.

"okay, so i'll see you friday night?" jay asked, walking backwards out of the library.

"i'll see you friday, jay."

jay smiled a big smile at you before he turned and left the library, leaving you standing there with pink cheeks and a light heart.

-- -- -- -- -- -- --

park jay picked you up outside your house on friday night in his black car that matched his black clothes and black hair. you had decided to wear jeans for tonight, as winter was quickly leaving seoul. you told your parents that you were hanging out with seeun for the night- no wanting to have a conversation with them about having boyfriends and what comes with it (safe sex!).

"hi, jay." you greeted him when you sat down in the passenger side of his car.

"hi, angel." he said, looking at your outfit, "you look pretty." his hand almost instinctively coming out to rest on your jean-clad thigh.

"thank you." you smiled, clicking on your seatbelt as jay started to drive to the movie theatre.

jay had done everything right. he bought your movie ticket, your drink and popcorn. he made sure you were comfortable in your seat. he held your hand during the movie, and asked if you were having fun- and you were. up until a sex scene played during the movie and you couldn't help but think of jay's face in between your legs. you felt your panties become suddenly too tight and you wished you had worn your usual skirts after all.

jay noticed the way your thighs clenched together during the end of the movie, also aware of the painfully long sex scene that reminded him that he was on a date with you. he noticed the way you were quieter than usual as you walked out of the movie theatres when the movie was over- obviously there was inappropriate thoughts rushing through both of your minds and you didn't want them to ruin the nice date you had just had with park jay.

you were both sitting inside of his jay's car, trying to warm up the car before he drove you back home. you were trying not to be obvious about the thoughts of jay running through your mind but the obvious twitching and playing with your fingers was being a dead giveaway that there was something on your mind.

jay put his hand on your thigh- an action that's becoming too familiar and comfortable- and you almost moaned at house sensitive you were still. there had been so many nights after hanging out with jay where his fingers and his stupid lip piercing were all that you could think about. no matter how long and hard you tried to focus on studying- park jay seemed to always appear in your mind. "are you okay, y/n?"

"y-yeah, did you like the movie?" you asked him, trying to ignore the way he was now squeezing your thigh, his fingers were just so close to your core.

"it was alright," jay shrugged, "are you cold? why are you bouncing your leg like that?" the point out of your whole body shaking makes you stop your action completely to a halt.

"i-i'm fine." jay laughed at you, shaking his head and pulling away his hand. "what? why're you laughing?"

"i saw the way you reacted during that sex scene, y/n." jay stated, almost laughing again at your shocked expression. "is there anything you want from me, y/n?"

you took a sharp inhale, "i-i just want you."

jay smirked down at you at your confession, his lip ring shining in the lamp light outside. "yeah? do you wanna go to my house then?" you nodded in response, glancing down at his crotch for a second, gasping quietly when you saw his bulge. you looked around the street where jay had parked his car, everyone that had been in the movie theatre had left by now, no one was around the back of the parking lot where jay had parked.

your hand trailed over jay's thigh suddenly, before cupping his bulge in his black jeans.

"f-fuck, what're you doing, baby." jay gasped out, not expecting for you to touch him like this.

"i wanna show you just how bad i can really be." you pouted to him, a hint of mischief in your eyes that matched his.

"fuck, okay." jay nodded, sitting back in his spot as you climbed over the center console and sat right on his thighs. your arms wrapped around his neck, pulling his lips into yours in a deep kiss. you had never kissed each other so feverishly before- the passion ran through you both at a high speed as you sat on top of him.

jay's hands rested on your hips, playing with the buckle loops of your jeans. your hair was sprawled over his shoulders as you tilted your head down to kiss him. you pulled away, resting your forehead on his as your hands trailed down his chest, stopping at his jean button. "wait." jay's hand stopped yours, making you glance up at him with concerned wide eyes, "are you sure you wanna do that?"

"yes." you nodded strictly, "a-are you okay with this?"

"yes, my angel." jay said, pulling your lips to his again before resting his hands on your thighs.

both of your eyes were locked on your hands unbuttoning his jeans. your hands went inside of his boxers, feeling his warm, hard length under your fingers. you could feel jay twitch underneath you at your touch. you pulled out his length so it was in view. his pale skin seemed like it was glowing from the moonlight shining in the car. you felt your jaw drop at finally seeing jay's cock.

jay laughed underneath you, finding your reaction cute.

"what?" you pouted at him again with a smile, "don't laugh at me."

"i'm not!" jay kissed your nose, "you're just so cute." you shook your head at him, lifting his cock up so it was straight in your hands.

remembering what you had overheard some other girl say in your class, you let spit fill up your mouth before you dropped a glob down on his red tip. jay let out a quiet hiss at your action. you brought your lips to hiss again, your hand starting to move up and down his hard cock slowly. your kissing speed matched your hands' speed.

jay started to kiss your neck, making you throw your head to the side so he could have better access. he hummed against your skin when you tightened your grip on his cock, your thumb brushing over the glob of precum that sat on top of his tip. "i wanna suck your dick, jay." you moaned out, making jay stop kissing your neck and pull away to look at you.

"you what?" he asked in shock about the words that had just come from your mouth.

"i wanna suck your dick."

"fuck." jay rested his head on the back of the headrest, looking up at you in the moonlight. "you're perfect you know that?"

you laughed at him, before moving down so that you were in between his legs, your knees at the bottom of the car floor. you looked up at him through your eyelashes, loving the way that he was looking at you as if you were an actual angel.

you kissed the bottom of his shaft, your hand moving up and down his shaft as you put kitten licks on his tip- trying to imagine what else you had heard other girls talk about. your tongue licked across the slit, making jay groan quietly. his hands went to play with your hair again- something that he never seems to stop doing now.

your hand and spit were getting jay's dick so wet that it was easier to move and squeeze his dick. you pulled away from his tip and started sucking on the bottom of his shaft, your hand speeding up as it moved up and down.

"god, that feels so good angel." jay groaned out, his head going back to rest on the headrest again. he was trying so hard to not buck up into your mouth. this was only a scenario he had dreamed of before- and now that it was a reality he didn't know how long he could hold himself over.

you put his tip in your mouth, swirling your tongue around before pushing your head down his cock. when his tip hit the back of your throat, you tried to not pull out but it was hard not to. your hands kept stroking his cock up and down as you pulled away, his stomach tightening at the feeling of your throat closing around him. you put another glob of spit on his dick, making jay groan out at the sight.

"fuck, look at me when you do that." jay groaned out, pulling your hair so that you would look at him. "fuck that's it."

you started to put his cock all the way in your mouth again, your hand stroking what you couldn't fit until you found the right pace.

"my god." jay groaned out, taking a deep breath as he bit onto the back of his hand, trying to not buck into your mouth as your innocent eyes looked right into his. "that's it angel." he nodded at you, praising you for how well you were sucking his dick. your cheeks were hollowing in as you started to slurp around his dick. you were sure if anyone walked past the car they would be able to hear your sucking noises and jay's moans and groans.

"fuck, y/n. 'm gonna cum if you don't stop." jay warned you, gently trying to pull your head off him. his warning only made you suck and stroke his cock harder, wanting to see him cum like he's seen you before.

"please cum, jay." you nodded at him, spitting onto his dick once more before sliding your mouth down on him all the way.

"fuck!" jay moaned out, his body going rigid as he came in your mouth. the feeling of his warm cum coating your mouth only made you moan around his still hard cock- adding more vibrations and sensations to his orgasm.

you pulled off of him, your hand slowly stroking his cock as you showed him his cum in your mouth. "god." jay breathed out, watching you swallow his cum with a smile on your face. "i've actually ruined you, angel." you smile up at him, pulling his boxer and jeans over his cock again, letting him button up his jeans as you climbed back into the passenger seat.

"let's go to your house." you nod at him, putting your seatbelt on.

"my house?" jay asks, you nod in response, laughing at his silly expression. "fuck."

jay thinks he's never sped home so fast in his life. with the radio blasting and you giggling beside him as you tease him about his moaning- it felt like a dream.

jay's parents weren't home when he pulled into his long driveway- they were having a date night before james had to go back to work in another city for a few weeks.

you and jay ran up his pretty porch steps, kissing at the same time while laughing. you kept kissing his neck as he was trying to unlock his front door, trying to not bust the door down so he could bring you to his room.

his bedroom was the same as always as he closed his door and pushed you up against it. his lips going to your neck like usual, trying so hard to not leave hickeys to mark you as his. his hands were sliding down your body, pulling on the loops of your jeans to pull you closer to his hips. your hands were trailing down his back, grabbing onto his black, band shirt that he loved so much.

you pushed him away from you, backing him up until he got to his bed, laying down and propping himself up on his elbows to look at you. you pulled your shirt off, leaving you in your jeans and bra.

"you're gonna be the death of me." jay mumbled as you crawled on top of him, your cores grinding into each other. there was so much built-up lust between you that you were both too scared to act on. you were so inexperienced that you didn't know if jay would like it or not. and jay didn't want to rush you into things too fast.

jay flipped you over so that your head was up on his pillow- a position that you've been in before. you felt jay unbuttoning your jeans, pulling them down your legs until you were only in your underwear and bra. the sudden thought of being bare in front of jay for the first time sent an unwanted feeling of anxiety down your spine.

park jay was known to have sex with multiple girls before. you had wondered before about how many girls exactly that he's been with. so many girls that were more experienced than you- who were probably a lot sexier than you too.

jay felt you tense under his body, pulling away from kissing your collarbones to look at you. "are you okay?" he asked, concern filling him as he looked at your upset face.

"y-yeah, i'm fine." you replied meekly. jay pulled away from you at the sound of your voice.

"y/n, we don't have to do anything that you don't want t-"

"i want to! i really want to!" you cut him off, sitting up on your elbows to look at him. "it's just, you know. i've never done this before and i know you have- and i don't care that you have before!- i just want to be good for you."

jay pulled your lips to his at the end of your rambling, in a soft manner- just like the first time he kissed you. "i don't care if you've never done it- or even if you've done it a million times," you roll your eyes at him, "and you shouldn't care about how many times i've had sex, angel, all those other girls have never been my girl before."

you blush as jay calls you 'his girl'. you take jay's head in your hands, kissing him as a 'thank you for helping your insecurities. he pulled away from you to take off his own shirt. your eyes and hands immediately roamed over his skin as it was the first time that you had seen him shirtless. his skin was breathtaking. it was so smooth, pale and soft. little freckles and scars are visible to your eyes only.

he slid off his jeans and boxers, throwing them to the side of his bed, landing somewhere on the floor before he laid down on top of you again. kissing obnoxiously down your skin, sliding your panties off. you heard him take a sharp inhale as your core came visible to his eyes, having to hold yourself back from closing your legs.

you sat up again, your hands going behind your back to unclip your bra, letting the straps fall to your sides before throwing it to the side with jay's clothing. your breasts were visible to jay now, hearing him groan out before his hand reaches forward and starts to play with your nipple, making your back arch into his touch.

"i need you, jay." you tell him, the wetness between your legs becoming too much.

"fuck, okay, lay back." jay kissed your forehead, his hands trailing down your sides once you were under him once again. "you're sure you're okay with this?"

"yes jay, please." you begged, unsure of what you begged for exactly- all your mind could think of was jay.

jay leaned over to his bedside table, grabbing a condom and sliding it down his dick. he put his cock over your wet slit, your juices flowing all over your core and making a mess. you felt his cock slip in between your folds, circling your clit before beginning to push into you.

"i'll go slow, angel." jay whispered out to you, one of his hands tracing shape into your thigh while the other guided his cock in slowly, just like he said.

you closed your eyes as you prepared yourself to feel uncomfortable for the next few moments. he kept his gaze on your face, looking for any signs of pain until he was balls deep inside of you. your tight walls were already clenched tight around him he really didn't think that he could last this time.

"are you okay?" jay whispered to you, bending over your body careful to not push into your further.

"it- it feels weird," you replied, opening your eyes for the first time to look at him.

"i'm sorry, y/n. it'll stop in a second." jay kissed your cheek, moving one of his hands down between your bodies so that he could rub small circles over your clit.

he groaned quietly when he felt your walls clench even tighter. you stayed in that position for a minute, pleasure slowly taking over as he played with your clit. you told him that he could move after a moment, allowing for him to hold himself up over you with his elbows, his breath fanned your face as he pulled his cock out of you until just his tip was in before pushing back into you.

the feeling of having jay inside of you felt unusual, something that you had never experienced before, but it felt so right. you wrapped your legs tight around his waist as he continued to push his hard cock in and out of you.

the sound of his skin hitting your wet core was breaking the eerie silence that had taken over the park house. your little whimpers of pleasure were taking jay to a whole other world as he tried to not fuck too hard into you.

both of you could feel the sweat start to build up in between you two, the passion and lust adding to the aura of the room.

"g-god jay, feels so good." you cried out to him, your hips starting to push back into his thrusts.

"yeah?" jay's voice let out a deep grunt- a deepness that you've never heard in his voice before. you nodded, your eyes closing in pleasure this time. "you really letting me ruin you, angel? no one else is going to be able to feel you as tight as i am, fuckin' strechin' your pussy so good, right?" jay almost let out a laugh at the way you clamped down on his cock.

"jay, oh god!" you cried out again, you swore you could feel his cock in your stomach he was fucking into you so deep.

"fuck, y/n, i might cum, baby." jay groaned out, kissing your neck to try to keep himself quiet.

"please, cum jay, i wanna feel you cum." you begged him, your hands pulling on his hair to hold onto him tighter.

his orgasm snuck up on him before he could even tell you that he was cumming. a dark groan escaped his lips as he started to fuck into you harder and faster- your tight, wet walls letting him. his hand snuck down and started rubbing your clit and an inhumane rate, making your hips jerk up to meet his.

"fuck!" jay groaned out, feeling your walls spasm with your own orgasm. you felt his cum fill his condom as you hit your high. both of you moaning into each other's ears at the feeling of the insane amount of pleasure. you let out whimpers of his name as you came down from your high, his fingers coming to a stop on your clit as he pulled out of you slowly.

jay pulled off his condom and threw it into the garbage bin beside his bed. your heavy breaths filled his bedroom as he lay down beside you, pulling his duvet (the one that he likes!) over both of your sweaty bodies. you moved over to rest your head on his chest, listening to the sound of his heartbeat slow down.

"are you okay?" jay asked you, his fingers stroking your hair away from your face.

"'m perfect." you mumbled into his warm skin, feeling tired from the 'exercise' you just did. "thank you."

jay scoffed, "you don't have to thank me, angel. i had fun, as long as you had fun."

"i had fun." you turned your head and smiled up at him. jay kissed your forehead in return, closing his eyes for a moment, taking in his present reality. you felt sleepiness take over both your bodies until your phone started ringing from the pile of clothes you and jay made on the side of his bed.

you groaned, and reached over him to search on the floor for your phone, the duvet falling off your hips leaving your bare ass for jay to see. out of something like instinct, jay smacked your ass playfully, making you look back at him with a roll of your eyes.

"hello?" you asked into your phone, sitting back beside jay, pulling the duvet over your bare body.

"y/n!" seeun said over the phone, "do you want to hang out and watch movies tonight? i'm near your house so i can stop at the corner store and get snacks before i come!" guilt washed over you at seeun's offer to hang out. usually every other friday you and seeun would hang out at your house and watch a series of movies together- you had completely forgotten that it would be this friday as well.

"oh uh, i'm sorry se, i'm not feeling good so i don't think it's a good idea if we do movie night tonight." you lied through your teeth, your hand coming up to rest on your forehead as you tried to not let it out that you were lying.

"aw! that's too bad! i hope your parents are taking good care of you so you feel better!" seeun pouted through the phone.

"they are! thanks so much, i'll see you monday, right?"

"right! feel better! love you!"

"love you, too! bye!" you sighed and hung up, feeling awful that you had to lie to your best friend.

"what's wrong?" jay asked, his hand rubbing your back for comfort.

"seeun likes to have movie nights on friday nights and i forgot." you replied honestly.

"oh shit, i'm sorry." jay sat up, feeling bad that you had to miss hanging out with your friend because of him.

"no, it's okay, you didn't know!" you reassured him with a smile. "i should get home, though, my parents wanted me home before they get home later."

"okay, angel." jay kissed your temple for the last time of the night, both of you standing up and getting dressed so jay could drive you home.

seeun stood across the street from your house. she could see that your parents weren't home since their car wasn't in the driveway. all the lights in your house were off, including your bedroom light, meaning that you most likely weren't home either.

seeun sighed as she hung up, hurt running through her as she realized you had lied to her. where is she? she thought to herself, throwing her phone in her pocket and picking up the bag of snacks she had bought for her and you to share before walking back to her house alone.

-- -- -- -- -- --

since you had now become park jay's girlfriend, you had brought up the idea that you finally meet his friends.

jay really wanted you to meet his friends, but god did it make him nervous. he knew what his friends were like; they were assholes, and they liked to do dangerous things- but they didn't mean any harm per se, they just wanted to have fun.

the next weekend after losing your virginity to park jay, he invited you to come to a party so you could meet his small friend group. you were iffy about going to a party-having almost finished your high school career without not going to one. but since you would get to meet his friends- you pushed yourself to go.

jay held your hand tight as you walked into the party together. it was in some big house in the south end of seoul where apparently 'all the cool people partied'. you could hear the music down the sidewalk as you approached the party. there were strobe lights flashing out of the windows and cheers from kids partying inside.

the first thing you noticed when you walked into the party was that you did not belong. there were girls wearing practically nothing- compared to your short black skirt and baby pink crop top. the scent of weed and alcohol immediately filled your senses as you followed jay through the thick crowd of people, his hand never leaving yours in fear of losing you.

jay knew that you were nervous to go- and that you were going because of him and his friends. he knew that he'd have to watch himself tonight so he didn't mess things up between you and his friends. he already had a strict talk with his friends about being on their best behaviour for when they met you.

his friends were excited to meet you, some of them had only seen you from afar before, and they had really wanted to meet the girl that had stopped jay from being a total delinquent with them.

you almost bumped right into jay's back as he stopped suddenly, gently pulling on your hand so you could stand in front of him. there were six boys who all sat on the couch or chairs, four of them had red solo cups in their hands as they all cheered when they saw jay's familiar face.

they all looked familiar to you, having seen them around school or heard gossip about them from seeun.

"guys, this is y/n, y/n this is heeseung, jake, riki, jungwon, sunghoon and sunoo." jay introduced you over the loud music, pointing at each of them from left to right. they all smiled at you, some of them having bloodshot eyes from either the alcohol or drugs.

"hi y/n, it's nice to meet you!" one of them spoke up, the one being jungwon who seemed the soberest of them all. you smiled politely at him. "i heard you don't like to drink or anything so you can stay with me and riki all night, we don't do that stuff either." jungwon patted the boy on his right, riki smiling at you, too.

"she can stay all night with me too, guys." jay rolled his eyes at them, sitting down on a chair and grabbing at your hand for you to sit on his lap.

"yeah up until when? until you drink so much you throw up again?" the boy named sunghoon slurred, waving his hand at jay. you kept the smile on your face as you listened to him, trying not to think too much of it.

"he's joking, i haven't done that in a while." jay whispered in your ear.

"it's alright." you reassured him with a smile.

halfway through the night jay had convinced you to get up and dance with him, your bodies meshing in with the other sweaty dancers in the crowd as you all listened to the shitty house music that was making you go partially deaf.

it was fun to have jay grinding and laughing behind you, kissing your neck like he usually does. the rest of his friends had all dispersed around you, dancing on their own or with some girl that they obviously wanted to hook up with. it was interesting to see how they all acted together- some characteristics were just like you had heard within all the gossip- other things weren't even mentioned. they all looked out for each other, making sure that one of them doesn't drink or smoke too much.

"i gotta go piss." jay says in your ear while you were dancing. he felt you nod your head in response, "will you be okay for a second?" he felt you nod again, backing away from you but pointing at jake and jungwon from across the room that you'd be by yourself for a moment.

jungwon made his way to you, jake trudging along as he was definitely intoxicated from all the shots he had taken earlier in the night. you smiled as the two of them came into your sight, easily dancing with jungwon playfully. jake stayed beside you guys, swaying to the music with a smirk on his face that reminded you of jay's.

you were having fun dancing with jungwon, feeling jake stare at you every now and then when jungwon would twirl you in the middle of the dance floor.

"how the hell did jay get a girl like you?" you heard jake ask from beside you, making jungwon nudge him with a 'wtf' face.

"what do you mean?" you asked confused.

"you're just too pure." jake bit his lip as he scanned your face, "a goody two shoes." you gulped under jake's stare, jungwon having to snap jake's gaze away from you.

you saw a hand come from behind you a shove jake's shoulder a bit, "what're you doing, jakey?" you heard jay's voice say, an obviously annoyed tone evident.

"just asking y/n about what she sees in you." a playful smirk is on jake's face, he quirks his eyebrows up at you.

"bro, fuck off, you've had too much to drink." jay shoves him again, wrapping an arm around your waist.

"i got him jay, i'll take him back to heeseung's, it was nice to meet you y/n!" jungwon wrapped his arm around jake's shoulders, ushering jake away from you guys and towards an exit.

jay took your hand in his, guiding you through the crowd of people again, making his way to the front door with you behind him. when you were finally outside again, you didn't know how much you missed fresh air. the spring air felt crisp in your lungs as you walked hand in hand with jay down the sidewalk.

"i'm sorry about him," jay speaks for the first time since you've left the better, "he gets assholey when he's drunk, i didn't realize he was at the point of drinking."

"it's okay, jay." you mumbled, kissing his shoulder through his jacket as you continued to walk back to his house.

"what'd he say to you exactly?"

you hummed as you tried to remember, "something about me being a goody two shoes."

jay scoffed, "i'm sorry about him really, i can't believe he was even looking at you like that, i literally almost punched him."

"looking at me like what?"

jay quirked an eyebrow at you playfully, "you know, the way that i look at you."

"hm," you smirked, "didn't even notice."

"good," jay pulled you into him, "because you're mine, right?"

"just yours." you nodded, kissing his lips quickly.

the minute that you're back in jay's bedroom, the scent of alcohol and weed and sweat still on you, he's pushing you down onto his bed. you could tell from the moment jay saw how close jake got to you, that he was jealous. he tried to play it off while you were walking home, but you could tell with the way he kept you close to his side the entire way that he was a bit angry with his friends' actions.

jay nipped at your neck, making you moan out to him, "no marks, jay." you felt him pout against your skin at your warning.

"why? you said so yourself, you're mine. so why can't everyone else know?"

"my parents jay." you pulled him up and away from your skin. he sighed at the mention of them.

"can't we just tell them?"

"i want to, but we can't, not until we graduate, you know how they are."

jay continued to pout at you until his mischeif eyes returned, "fine, i wont leave marks on your neck."

jay starts to pull off your shirt, exposing your collarbones and the tops of your breasts. his lips attack your skin, sucking and biting until you're moaning under him at the possessive way he's marking your body.

you push him off so that you could unclip your bra, his hands helping slide it off of your tits before he's sucking at your nipples. your back arches into his warm mouth, and his hands start to slide off your skirt until he's throwing it over his shoulder.

"i like that skirt." jay mumbles into your skin, pressing open-mouthed kissing down your stomach to your thighs.

"yeah?" you ask breathless.

"yeah, black looks nice on you." he kisses below your belly button, "sexy."

"sexy?" you almost laugh, never in your life have you thought that you would look sexy.

"really sexy," jay came to your face, "why do you think jake couldn't stop staring at you?"

"he wasn't staring, jay." you kissed him passionately, sensing his worry. "if he was, i don't care, i only stare at you."

"i know angel, i know." he kissed your neck again, his finger tracing circles in your bare hips.

"no one else can fuck me like you, jay." you felt him groan at your words, the vibrations tickling your skin.

"is that what you want me to do? do you want me to fuck you, y/n?"

"please jay, i want you to fuck me so hard."

"okay, my angel." his hands grab onto your hips suddenly, flipping you over so your face is pressed against his mattress. "want me to fuck you like the bad girl we know you are?"

"yes! please!" you cried out, your hands searching for something to grab on to. you feel jay grab your forearms, shoving them together and locking them onto your back.

"leave your hands here." jay grunted out, you feel him stand up off of his bed. you hear shuffling as he undresses. "i need to play some music, i don't want my parents to hear." you hum in response to him, watching him turn his speaker on. angel by the weeknd started to fill his room and hopefully quietly down the hall to block out your future noises.

when you feel jay's hard dick press up against your thighs your body jolts with excitement. you felt him press one last soft kiss in the middle of your spin before he's pushing your upper half down into his mattress so that your ass was in the air for him.

his hands land a loud slap on your ass, making you jolt forward with a moan. "fuckin' love your ass, angel." he slaps your ass again with both hands, "wanted to see it for long, prancing around my room in your skirts, just beggin' for it, yeah?"

"yes, sir." you moan out before you could even stop yourself.

"sir?" you hear jay tease you, "my goody two shoes has a sir kink?" he laughs out, "god you're perfect." jay leans his face down so that his tongue can slide in between your folds, small circles around your clit quickly. you feel his lip piercing's cold metal brush over it ever so slightly before he's pulling away again.

jay reaches over your back, holding onto your locked hands that stayed so obediently behind your back. "i love the way you taste, so sweet, so good just like you." he mumbles into your skin, shoving his tongue into your hole quickly before he's taking it out again. he hears you whine into his mattress. "what's wrong, baby?" he asks in a mocked, caring tone.

"wanna feel you."

jay slapped your ass with his free hand, "ask nicely like the good girl you are."

"please, i want your tongue sir." you felt him smirk on your spin as he pressed a soft kiss before slapping your ass again.

"good girl." his breath was over your core again, "fuck you're so wet." he used his thumb to spread your folds open, cool air being blown on your bare core.

jay dragged the flat of his tongue against your slit, collecting all your juices and wetting you with his saliva. you moaned out into the pillow, feeling so incredibly turned on by him that it was almost too much already. the throbbing pain in your ass from his slaps only increased your pleasure more.

you started to grind your hips back into his face, making him laugh against your core. "are you trying to be a little slut?" he asked you, massaging your ass with his free hand, running his fingers over the red marks that were already appearing.

"'m sorr-ry sir, feels so good." you arched your hips to grind against him again.

at full force, jay started to fuck his tongue into your hole, groaning against your core at your taste. he really couldn't get over how good you tasted on his tongue. you really were an angel and he had you all to himself.

within what felt like a minute, jay had to fall apart on his tongue, his grip on your locked hands tightening as you started to shake against his tongue, he spanked your ass as you called out his name, your eyes closing as pleasure took over.

he pressed one final kiss to your wet core before standing up off his bed away from you, your hands falling to your sides from holding them in place for so long. soft whimpers still left your mouth as your high coursed through you. "you good, y/n?" he asked into your air, kissing your temple as your face was still pressed into his mattress.

"yes, sir." you replied obediently, smiling at him through your eyelashes. you heard him dig through his bedside drawer, plopping a condom packet on the bed before digging some more. you heard him mumble to himself before he closed the drawer.

you felt him get on his knees behind you again, pushing your front down again as he slipped the condom on. you could feel your juices mixed with his spit leaking down your legs. jay slid slowly into you, aware that this was only your second time having sex. "fuck, still so tight." he mumbled, sounding like there was something in his mouth. he let you adjust to his size for a moment.

your heavy breath was mixing in with another the weeknd song as you tried to control your clenching core around jay's cock. you heard lighter flicks from behind you suddenly, making you lean on your elbow to look at jay, who was lighting a cigarette in his mouth. you quirked an eyebrow up at him as you watched him inhale, throwing the lighter somewhere and blowing smoke out of his mouth.

"don't look at me like that." jay shook his head, "i was already at a party tonight with drugs and alcohol, and now i'm fucking you- i need something or else i'm not gonna last." you rolled your eyes at him, plopping your head back down into the mattress as you felt him start to fuck slowly into you.

his cock was already so deep in you that you didn't know how long you were going to last either. the slow r&b song urged jay to start fucking into you faster, gripping onto your waist as he fucked you into his mattress. he'd slow down every few thrusts, getting deep inside of you where he'd circle his hips, reaching everywhere inside of you.

you felt his hand reach underneath you, pinching your nipple before grabbing you by the neck and pulling you up your knees. you rested your head on his shoulder, your body jolting upwards everytime he fucked up into you. his other hand that wasn't holding you up held his cigarette, taking a puff every few seconds.

your hair had become a mess at this point, from the amount of times you had shoved your face into the mattress and now it was getting tangled as it hung over your body that rested against jay's.

you kept your eyes closed as you focused on the way jay was fucking you, making you moan out his name and be thankful for the music he had put on. the smell of sweat, jay's cologne and cigarette smoke filled his room as he continuously fucked deep inside of you.

the hand that was holding you up, slid down to your clit, rubbing wet circles around it, causing slick sounds to be heard in the room. "fuck, angel, clenching around me so damn tight."

"just for you, sir." you moaned out, turning your head so you could look him in the eyes.

"fuck." he growled out, throwing your body down onto the mattress again, his cock slipping out of you making you whine. he knelt over you, reaching to his bedside table to put the rest of his cigarette out.

his shoved his cock back into you forcefully, making you cry out his name.

"can you touch your clit for me angel? wanna feel you cum around my cock." he asked, grabbing onto your waist again and fucking into you at a fast pace.

"yes, sir." he watched your hand snake under your body and start circling the bud as he fucked deep inside of you to reach your high.

the sight of you trying to get yourself off while his cock was pleasuring you was almost too much for jay as he rolled his eyes back and swore out loud. your walls were spasming around him in now time, loving the way he was gripping onto you so tight.

he spanked your ass as you came, intensifying your skin as he continued to pound into you, reaching his own orgasm shortly after.

jay collapsed onto you, his cock still sitting in your wet and used walls. your heavy breaths filled the room as both of you tried to calm down from your orgasms.

when he felt his cock soften finally, he pulled out of you slowly, not wanting to overstimulate you more from how sensitive you were. he tied off the condom and threw it into the garbage bin beside his bed.

"i'll get you some water, angel." jay kissed your temple, rubbing your back briefly before throwing on some sweatpants and leaving for the kitchen.

the slow music still played through the speakers as you sat up in jay's bed, reaching over the side to grab something to cover in. jay's black band shirt was over your shoulders in an instant so you could lay back down. there was already a throbbing in your core from how hard jay was fucking into you- you knew that you wouldn't be able to move for the rest of the weekend but you didn't regret it at all.

jay came back with a soft smile on his face as he saw you in his shirt, in his bed, with his bite marks on your thights.

"here you go." jay gave you a glass of water and climbed to sit beside you in the bed, wrapping his duvet around you and him. "are you okay?"

you nodded as you set your glass of water down beside his burnt out cigarette, "'m perfect." jay smiled at you, pulling you into a deep kiss.

"you told your parents that you're sleeping at seeun's, right?" you hummed in response to his questions, "good, let's go to sleep, we're going to need it since exams are starting soon."

you groaned as you layed back with him, your head coming to rest on his chest. "don't remind me about exams right now."

"i'm sorry! i'm kinda excited for them."

"you're excited for exams?" you asked him.

"yeah, i've never studied for them before ."

you hummed in realization at his words, "maybe you are getting a halo, jay."

"maybe." you heard jay reply before the two of you fall asleep to the sounds of each other's breaths, both content with your relationship for the moment, unaware of lies.

-- -- -- - -- -- -- -

although jay said he was excited about exams, he didn't really know just how stressful studying for exams could be. it felt like there was an outweighing pressure on him whether he was studying or not.

and even though you were there beside him for majority of it, he still felt like he wasn't going anywhere. he hated sitting beside someone as smart as you, bothering you to help him when you needed to study as well.

you constantly told him that you didn't mind helping him (you were his tutor at first) but he just didn't believe you. he felt guilty distracting you from your own work when you're the one who actually has a bright future in front of them.

jay had been trying to be good for you the moment you started to tutor him. cutting out drugs and alcohol so quick for him was proven to be difficult very quickly. anytime that he was around his friends, he'd drink or smoke, not telling you what he was up to.

jay knew that he should've told you that he was still getting intoxicated, but he didn't want to disappoint you like he's done to his entire family and peers. he couldn't bear to see a disappointed look on your face because of his actions.

so friday night, when the stress of studying for exams became all too much, he let heeseung pick him up and take him to an almost end-of-the-year party.

and he drank and he smoked and he lost himself in the shitty house music that he swore he hated. every time the thought of you came into his mind, he took another shot to try to distract himself from how much of a disappointment he was. everyone was right, you were too good for him.

that disappointed look from you came all too quickly when he woke up the next day to you shoving his shoulder, waking him up in his bed. it took him a second to realize where he was and what the hell was going on, but once he did oh god was he fucked.

"y/n!" he jumped out of bed, only wearing those grey sweatpants that you liked on him so much. "i-"

"it's whatever, jay," you put your hand up to him, frustrated that he had gone out and got intoxicated behind your back. "i'll talk to you monday when you're not hungover."

"y/n." he grabbed your arm, stopping you from leaving his bedroom, "i'm sorry! i just, exams! i didn't think they'd be so stressful!" you couldn't look at him as he explained himself, feeling lied to was the worse thing you could feel.

"you could've at least told me you were going to a party," you mumbled to him, wondering if he had hooked up with any girls last night.

"i know! you're right! i'm a fucking asshole. i'm sorry, i tried to be good for you- i did!"

you sighed as he kept apologizing to you, wondering how many times exactly he's lied to you about being somewhere or being sober.

"y/n, look at me." his voice sounded weak as he said your name again. you forced yourself to look at him, tiredness evident on his face from the night he had. "i am sorry. i like you so much i-."

"do you like me?" you cut him off, "because if you did i don't know why you'd lie to me about this."

"of course i fucking like you! i can't go a second through my day without thinking about you! i have to drink to stop thinking about you and how much of a disappointment i am to you! it's so hard trying to be good i- i'm just not."

your hand grabbed jay's face, making him look you in the eyes, "park jay." you made him listen to you, "you are not a fucking disappointment." jay's eyes widen at your use of language, never hearing you swear before in his life, "you don't have to be good for me. no one is exactly good, take me for an example. i understand that you like to drink and smoke and party and whatever! i just hate knowing that you're wasting your life away when you have so much potential! i don't care if you smoke or drink i just want you to be able to have a good future! i didn't mean to make it sound like you had to go behind my back to do those things! so i'm sorry." you confessed to him, feeling guilty yourself for putting pressure on him to feel like he's not good enough for you.

jay sighs at your confession, the weight on his shoulders leaving as he realizes his own stupid mistakes. "it's okay. i'm still sorry that i did those things behind your back." he nodded, moving forward to rest his chin on your shoulder.

you wrap your arms around him, smiling as he almost knocks you over by leaning his entire weight on you, "it's okay. next time, we should just talk about these things, i don't want there to be any more miscommunication, okay?"

"okay, angel." jay nodded, pulling away so he could smash his lips onto your own, kissing you like it's the first time all over again.

-- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- --

new fact: walking into school with park jay holding your hand will 100% cause everyone to stop and stare at you.

"what do we do?" you whispered to him, continuing your way to your locker.

"just don't look at them, they're fucking annoying." he grunted at you, hating everyone in the school.

"jay!" you hissed at him.

"sorry! you asked!" he shoved you playfully, pulling you back into him by your hand.

"what the hell?" you heard a familiar voice behind you. both you and jay turn at the sudden declaration.

seeun stood behind you, a disgusted look on her face as she looked at you, jay and your intertwined hands.

"seeun." you said her name, pulling your hand away from jay out of instinct.

"save it, y/n. now i know that this is who's been keeping you so busy." seeun pointed at jay, "so busy that you can't hang out with your best friend."

"seeun i'm sorry! i didn't mean for it to be like this!" you tried to explain, but she turned on her heel and stormed through the crowd of students until she was gone. you turned and looked at jay, an upset expression on your face.

"go after her, i'm fine." jay smiled at you, nodding towards the direction where seeun went. you smiled at him, pulling him in for a kiss that made everyone gasp before you ran down the hall where seeun went.

you pushed into the girl's bathroom where you saw her disappear, her bent-over figure leaning over the bathroom sink.

"seeun." your voice makes her head jolt up, a scowl on her face when she sees that it's you. "i'm sorry."

"you're sorry?" seeun says, standing up straight. "you have nothing to be sorry for y/n." she says in a mocked tone, "you're just throwing your life away with some misfit delinquent. go ahead! as if i care!"

"seeun!" you hiss at her, not believing the way she was speaking to you. "it's not like that! he's not like that!"

"he's not a misfit?" seeun laughs in your face, "then what the hell is he? and why is a girl like you dating a guy like park jay?"

god you were getting so sick of that phrase.

"because i'm a misfit too! i don't fit in in this society either! and that's all i ever wanted! i'm fucking happy seeun!"

seeun gasped at your confession before she scoffed, "who even are you?" she asked, shoving past you and exiting the bathroom.

you stood in silence with your jaw dropped open as you walked toward the mirror. you wiped your face from the fallen tears that managed to escape because of your best- ex best friend.

the toilet flushing in one of the stalls behind you made you stand up straight, looking at yourself in the reflection as if anything was fine.

park sieun with her pretty orange hair walked up behind you, washing her hands in the sink beside you.

"you shouldn't listen to her," she spoke to you for the first time in your whole high school career.

"what?" you asked confused, wondering if she even knew who she was talking to. sieun dried her hands before looking at you.

"don't listen to yoon seeun. it's hard for someone to be friends with her. she cares too much about fitting in in this world when that's so hard to do. once she realizes just how much of a 'misfit' someone is, she cuts them out of her life."

"oh." you nod, looking down at your hands, remembering that sieun and seeun used to be friends. "oh."

sieun smiles at your realization, "i'm a misfit too y/n, believe it or not. so don't listen to seeun. and i think it's cool that you're dating jay, whether or not your high school reputations allow it or not, who cares, just have fun."

you smile at her words, feeling a bit better now that you've realized just how much high school stereotypes and cliques can really ruin a person.

"thank you sieun, really."

"it's no problem." she shakes her pretty head, "good luck on your exams." she pats your shoulder and leaves the bathroom as the bell rings.

-- -- -- -- -- -- --

within the last few days of high school, yoon seeun had already found a new 'best friend' as she sat with her at your and seeun's old cafeteria table. it made your stomach feel sick when you walked in and someone sitting in 'your' spot. you really were just so replaceable to seeun.

an arm wrapped around your shoulder as the frown deepened at the sight, "just come sit with us outside, it'll be fun." jay spoke from behind you, making you smile up at him.

hanging out with jay and the rest of the 'misfits' was something you never thought that you'd do. but fitting in with them was a lot easier than fitting in with the rest of the world.

jake apologized for the last time you had partied with them, feeling guilty for being such an asshole drunk. but you only smiled and hugged him, catching the wink jay threw to you over his shoulder.

you fit in with the rest of the boys so much that it made them even want to study for their exams. so you all made flashcards and makeshift quizzes and studied in heeseung's bedroom until you rotted.

they all groaned when you told them they had more questions to do, but in the end it worked out the best for them.

jay, sunghoon and jake all graduated that year with you, all of them thankful that you had become their tutor. they had joined heeseung at the local state college, grateful that somewhere had accepted them with their last-minute grades.

you ended up getting accepted into a university a few hours away from seoul, wanting to still get away from your strict parents.

the boys were sad that they wouldn't see you as much. it put worry on you and jay for how much you'd see each other by being hours away from each other every day.

but you made a promise to call and to visit once a month.

and you were perfect with that.

because you and jay need each other.

your relationship can work through the distance as it's worked through the changes you had to make for the better of the both of you.

you were too good and he was too bad- you had to find the balance through each other.

and now park jay hates everyone except for you (and maybe heeseung)

@ taeghi, 2022. do not repost or reuse in anyway.

PLEASE REBLOG IF YOU ENJOY, AS LIKES MAKE IT HARD FOR WORK TO BE SPREAD AND ENJOYED BY OTHERS :)

stay safe everyone :))

[mrtequilasunset]

Unprovoked

[fjordline]

since bringing mass murderer of incalculable lives Megatron on board the Lost Light was such a huge success, bringing mentally unstable ancient gladiator Galvatron on board will surely go just as well

[damian-lil-babybat]

'Dead Poets Society' gang

Headcanon that these four drop poetry and literature quotes on their conversations unprompted.

Jason 'English-major-I-only-visit-the-manor-for-the-library' Todd-Wayne

Damian 'I-master-liberal-arts-unlike-you-plebs-PHD-holder' al Ghul-Wayne

Cassandra 'I-learn-English-thru-Shakespeare-as-god-intended' Cain-Wayne

Duke 'only-title-holder-of-vigilante-poet-and-will-cuss-you-just-as-poetically' Thomas-(future) Wayne

[starry-bi-sky]

Blood Blossom Au: Baby's First Commissioner Meeting :)

TL:DR This Post: Danny (orphan) gets poisoned with blood blossom extract by Vlad. He runs away from him and ends up under the care of one Pre-Robin Battinson Batman! Starry is loudly pushing her batdad agenda.

(Also known as "Late At Night, When The Nightingale Sings" on my ao3!)

This was a fun rough idea I've been sitting on for weeks, thinking about how Commissioner Gordon and Nightingale's first meeting might go.

---------------

Commissioner Gordon likes to think that he's adjusting to the new normal of Gotham very well, -- the new normal being grown men running around dressed like bats, in military-grade strength body armor, committing acts of vigilantism, -- and slowly, little by little, he was no longer being surprised when this new normal pops up out of the shadows like the world's most terrifying daisy. His shaving lifespan thanks him for it.

....

The kid is a surprise though.

Granted, he seemed to be a surprise to the Bat too.

There's been a string of murders lately, -- which, in Gotham, is kind of like saying there's been another storm during monsoon season. And there's just been another; in some dilapidated building down in south Gotham, with the broken, boarded-up windows and mildew-crawling walls to match. The victim is a man in his thirties, multiple gunshot wounds to the chest, left in the center of the room for the blood to pool out around him.

The place is already secured when he arrives, the building swarmed with officers and the forensic detectives. The Bat emerges shortly after he does -- or, he might've been here the whole time, hiding someplace dark and shadowy. For his own sanity, Gordon doesn't think about it too hard.

The kid is a surprise, and he appears like a bolt of lightning.

He shows up in the middle of a conversation Gordon is having with the Bat.

A whistle, sharp and loud, slicing through the air, meant for open air rather than a confined space. Gordon's ears pierce and protest the sound, and the solemn, murmured chatter floating through the room abruptly cuts off like the swing of a gavel. As he turns towards the sound -- as they all do -- he swears, up and down, that he sees Batman's shoulders jump, just slightly.

At the source, perched on the window, is a boy. A boy in a gray-blue scarf and an oversized black hoodie, one that hangs off his frame and has ace bandages wrapped around the wrists in some attempt to cinch the sleeves. The hood is up, big like the rest of it, and threatens to swallow the upper half of the boy's face whole in the fabric. What upper half Gordon can see, is smeared with some kind of opaque, black face paint. He's holding onto the side of the frame with one hand, on his hip is a grappling hook. A familiar grappling hook.

Gordon has multiple questions, and his officers tense up.

Martinez puffs up, brows furrowing as his face shapes into a frown. Shoulders rolling back. "You can't be here, kid--"

The reaction is immediate, like a spark to gunpowder, the boy yanks his fingers from his mouth and his mouth twists into a scowl. Head snapping over to Officer Martinez, his hood manages to stay on but Gordon swears that as he bares his teeth, the glint makes them look sharper than they should be. His voice is rasp and quiet and harsh; snappish in its hissing; "Put a fuckin sock in it, Martinez. I'm not stayin."

Martinez reels back, and the boy immediately veers his attention off him. Like a switch, his demeanor drops. Despite half his face being covered, his mouth twists into a cringing, apologetic smile. Slanted and off-beat, embarrassed. It'd be disarming if this wasn't Gotham, and if he didn't just hiss at Martinez like he was about to bite his head off.

"Sorry." He whispers, voice deceptively polite and softer now. Gordon has to strain his ears to hear him. "I was looking for him."

He points his finger towards-- Gordon? No, Gordon follows the direction, and finds himself looking at -- the Bat.

The Bat, who always looks stiff as a pole, now looks even stiffer. Somehow. Well, the explains the grappling hook attached to the boy's waist.

"What are you doing here?" The Bat says, gruff and unable to completely smother the stumble of surprise in his tone.

The boy still holds a sheepish smile, and slips off the window ledge. His feet hit the creaky boards with a near-silent thud, the Batman finds his feet and rapidly begins crossing the room.

Gordon notes the slight tremble in the boy's legs as he straightens. He adjusts his scarf, which droops close to his knees now that he's standing, and slings a backpack -- how long has had that? -- off his shoulders. When the Bat reaches his side, he does as he always does, and looms over the boy like a spectre. A threatening mass of shadows cloaked in all-consuming black. Standing next to him, the boy looks teeny in comparison.

The Bat is a man who terrifies even the most hardened criminals, Gordon has seen grown men shiver in fear at the mention of his name. And yet when the boy looks up at him, he doesn't even flinch.

Instead, his sheepish smile melts away like ice under the sun, holding only traces of his previous embarrassment. It remains as a shadow on his face, a small upturn at the corners of his mouth. The boy pushes his hood back just enough to reveal glinting, ice-flint eyes surrounded in tar-black face paint. He holds the backpack up with one arm. "You forgot this."

[shrugsinchinese]

A sketch and doodle page for Bat Swap by @im-not-buying-it-ether!

Billy is truly Going Through It in this one, and Bruce is getting called out by every significant Fawcitizen it’s hilarious

[shanastoryteller]

it would make dean fucking furious, but i actually love the idea that jack sometimes calls sam "sammy" and that sam lets him. he's the only one besides dean that doesn't get "it's sam"

jack is always watching dean, and while part of that is search for dean's approval, the rest is because it teaches him how to interpret and be loved by sam

he calls him sammy when he's scared, or worried, or even relieved (seeing sam after lucifer brought him back would definitely elicit a sammy)

dean says it and it's sammy (protected)

jack says it and it's sammy (protector)

i also think he's seen dean and sam hug each other, sees how sam scrunches himself up so dean can still get his arms over his shoulders and folds beneath his brother. and when sam hugs jack, he hugs him sort of like dean hugs him, like how jack thinks dean used to hug sam twenty years ago

being enveloped, sam hunching over to keep him tucked into him, and for a moment jack feels like nothing can get to him

(sam used to feel this way too)

[twentyfivemiceinatrenchcoat]

cult leader geto throws up blood if you don’t tell him you love him before he leaves for work btw

[captainrufflebanger]

Hey *scratches neck like the drug addict I am*

I was wondering if *unholy sounds*

You got anymore of them *panicks*

Alcina in a suit pics *cries*

I FORGOT TO ANSWER THIS ASK FROM WEEKS AGO

Hi sorry I don't have much that's presentable to the public but take this messy sketch dump I did after writing a teeny tiny fic snippet last year.

Lady Dietreschcu

[littlecrow4]

Sometimes I’m convinced Alex has read BillFord fics cause there are certain things that ALOT of 2016 BillFord fics have that also appeared in The Book of Bill

He was waiting for the right moment

[froglover7789]

dinluke fics where lukes power is acknowledged and hes not written like some incompetent maiden who needs to be protected >>>>>>>>>

[flawlessassholes]

Will we ever be blessed with more adventures of dirtbag Daniel x girl max?

considering they haunt my every waking moment with their disgustingness and love? yeah. Yeah. anyways here’s ~800 words of max trying to ‘apologize’ to daniel after baku 2017. (the apology may or may not be an offer of anal.) more under the cut!

It’s a tense fucking debrief after Max crashes him out of Hungary.

She’s red-faced, pouty, glaring at the table like it’s the steward who handed her the 10-second penalty. It wasn’t enough, Daniel thinks uncharitably. She’s going to be forced to apologize, and Daniel’s not going to accept. If she’s gonna act like the rookie she pretends not to be, then he’ll act like one back. She needs to learn that her actions have consequences, and since Christian wants to treat her like his golden little princess, that apparently falls to him.

The sun’s just gone down when she knocks on his motorhome’s door.

She’s still red-faced but freshly showered, her hair pulled back into two braids. Dutch, she explained after they fucked after he won Baku.

They haven’t since then. They won’t tonight, seeing as he’s still vacillating between throttling her and demanding she get sent back to Torro Rosso.

She holds up two beers. Awkward and stiff, like she doesn’t want to be here.

Daniel raises his eyebrows. “What are those? Apology beers?”

She nods.

He shuts the door in her face.

Childish, but Daniel never claimed to be anything otherwise.

“Daniel!” He can hear her huff. “Fuck you, Daniel, I am trying to be nice and do the right thing, and you of course won’t even let me because you are a massive dick and will only listen to me if—”

“Jesus Christ,” he yanks the door open to shut her up. He doesn’t know what’s at the end of her sentence, but he’s pretty sure Max isn’t above saying if I’m on your dick.

Which is, like, true. But he doesn’t need the entire paddock knowing that.

“Can you be any louder?” He asks. He shouldn’t because if there’s one thing he’s learned about Max between being teammates and fucking around with her, it’s that she’s got the humor of a nineteen-year-old guy when it comes to sex jokes.

Sure enough, she opens her mouth, big pink lips stretching wide, and he rolls his eyes. “Save it, will you? I’m not in the mood to pretend to laugh at your jokes.”

Max’s eyes narrow. “At least are you going to let me in?”

“Why, so you can give me a shitty beer and tell me that it wasn’t really your fault?”

“Well, I was going to let you fuck my ass, but—”

The rest of the sentence is lost to the sound of blood rushing to his head, or out of it, and him grabbing Max by the arm and pulling her inside, the door of the motorhome slamming shut.

“Jesus Christ, Max, you can’t just say that.”

“Well,” she says, far too smug. “It got me inside.”

“Oh, so that was just a tactic?”

Max frowns. “No, I meant it?”

Daniel shakes his head, takes one of the beers from her hand, opens it on the counter, and downs half of it as he sits on his couch, legs sprawled wide.

He wipes his mouth. Max is staring at his crotch. “It won’t be nice,” he says. “I’m too pissed at you to be nice.”

“I don’t need nice,” Max says immediately. Haughty. She sets the other beer on the counter and walks over to him. Most girls would try to be sexy, but Max is incapable. But despite her clunky, boyish walk, she still fucking is.

She straddles his lap, just like he taught her. “And you, of course, are never nice anyway.”

Max is a fast fucking learner when it comes to sex. Half a year ago, she couldn’t even initiate a kiss, and now she’s nosing at his neck and grinding on his lap. She’s still, like, hella awkward with it. But her inexperience—it’s heavy. And fucking hot. He said he wanted to be her first everything, and Max is apparently content to let him have at it.

He captures those plush, bitten lips in a hungry kiss, shamelessly groping her ass in her ugly khaki shorts. He can’t resist—he smacks her ass once, hard, and she yelps into his mouth.

“I am upset with you,” he says. She’s still writhing against him. Kinky. Neat.

“I am sorry,” she says, breathless as she pulls away. Then she climbs out of his lap, gangly and ungraciously, and pulls off her shirt and sports bra in one go.

He’ll never admit it, but her tits do make him forget why he’s mad in the first place.

“Alright,” he says, standing. “You want me to fuck your ass?”

He grabs her hips and spins her around so her ass is flush against his mostly-hard dick. He grinds against her, and she moans as she nods.

God, another first. He’s high with the thought.

He steps back. Spanks her ass again. “Get on the bed.”

[baby-babeyy]

Jonmund + Targaryen Jon

AU where Robert’s rebellion doesn’t happen and Jon is brought up in Kings Landing with his father Rhaegar and his sibling’s after his mother dies giving birth to him.

He has a relatively happy childhood, but he knows his siblings resent him for not sharing their mother, and his fathers pained look every time he sees him tells him he’s nothing but a painful reminder of his mother.

As the second son, he’s not the immediate heir to the throne, so in an effort to connect with his mothers family his father allows him to ride north to spend time in Winterfell with the Starks.

He flourishes in the north, finding he fits in better than he does in the south- he certainly feels he’s more Stark than Targaryen.

The Starks love having him around, he and Robb become as close as brothers, Sansa adores his tales of life in the capital and he spends more time than is proper for a Prince playing with Arya, Bran and Rickon.

The years he spends at Winterfell are the happiest of his life yet, though he misses his father and his siblings the cold and wild terrain agrees with him far more than the heat and politics and social expectations of the south.

When they discover the direwolves, they offer one to Jon, telling him he’s as much a Stark as they are. He and Ghost become inseparable, but secretly Jon worries about what will happen when he has to return home, for Kings Landing is surely no place for a direwolf.

As he gets older he knows that the day he has to return south grows closer, so he decides to make the most of the north while he can, and takes to sneaking out on a night and riding alone with Ghost, as it’s the only way he can get away from the constant chaperones forced on him as a Prince.

One of the nights he’s out riding he’s hit by a terrible snowstorm, he falls from his horse, is separated from Ghost, and finds himself so cold he’s unable to move.

He lies there in the woods, no clue where he is for how long he doesn’t know; it could be minutes, it could be hours that he lies drifting in and out of consciousness.

The only thing he registers is at some point being lifted into strong arms and suddenly feeling warmth for the first time in what felt like forever.

When he wakes the storm has passed, and he’s lying next to a campfire with several people in light grey and white furs stood around him - he recognises them as wildlings.

A tall man with a ginger beard explains that they found him half dead in the woods, and when he asks why they didn’t just leave him he gestures at the Valyrian steel haninging from his belt.

‘You’ve got a pretty sword, and if your fighting skills are anywhere near as good as your weapon, we could use you beyond the wall’

Jon panics at the thought of going beyond the wall, of the wildlings wanting him to be one of them. He’d heard from the northerners that they were feral, rapists and thieves and murderers.

But when he sees a red headed girl elbow the tall man and whisper ‘his sword isn’t the only thing you thinks pretty’ to he met with a shove and a laugh, he doesn’t see how the people that saved his life could he that bad.

In a fit of impulsivity he decides to go with them. He’s always been too much of a Stark for Kings Landing; despite how much he loved it there the people of Winterfell all see him as a Targaryen; maybe he can find where he belongs beyond the wall?

As they’re setting off on their journey north, they ask Jon his name. He almost tells them, but then thinks better of it, knowing that his family could be known beyond the wall and he doesn’t want his name getting him sent back, or worse killed.

He settles on ‘Jon Snow’, the surname of Northern bastards, and is slightly ashamed of himself to find it feels more like his name than ‘Jon Targaryen’ ever has.

The further North he gets the more he finds he enjoys life with the wildlings- or free folk as they call themselves.

Tormund, as he finds the tall man is called, tells him all about their philosophies, how they’ve chosen their leader unlike the kneelers down south, and they become very close on their journey.

Despite being a King’s son, and in the line of succession, he actually agrees with what they say thinking that if the people of Westeros chose their own leaders, a lot of suffering could easily be avoided.

He didn’t think he’d be this happy with the free folk but he is.

Climbing the wall is a whole different story.

The Wall is the tallest thing he’s ever seen, at least twice the height of the top of the Red Keep, and with no stairs in sight.

The only thing that keeps him going on his ascent is Tormund’s occasional teasing remarks and the knowledge that the only way he’s making it alive is if he follows them up.

The horrendous climb is almost worth the view at the top. He feels like he’s on top of the world and when he turns to share his grin with Tormund, that’s when the wildling kisses him for the first time.

Jon’s so taken aback he nearly topples off the wall, and very may well have fallen to his death if not for Tormund’s strong arms catching him.

The taller man apologises, saying he knows that sort of thing is frowned upon in the south and promising that since Jon clearly doesn’t feel the same he’ll never do it again, etc etc....

While Tormund is rambling in an uncharacteristically nervous way, Jon thinks about the kiss and how much he enjoyed it. He knows that the Southerners wouldn’t approve but he’s not a southerner anymore is he?

Tormund is still talking when Jon shuts him up by kissing him again. They stand there, hands grasping each other tight, lips locked together, and wind whipping at their faces until Ygritte shouts over at them that they better wait until they’ve climbed down the wall before they fuck.

Jon blushes the entire time he’s climbing down the wall, thinking about Tormund’s body pressed against his own, and Ygrittes crude words, and everything that waits for him beyond the wall.

When they finally have their feet on the ground Tormund grabs him again, kissing him hard, and whispering ‘when we get to the camp I’ll kiss you properly Jon Snow’ before walking off with the rest of the group.

Jon’s knees go a little bit weak at the thought of the kisses he’s experienced so far not even being proper kisses, and Ygritte seems to notice this by the way she smacks his ass and shouts laughing ‘Come on Jon Snow, leave your innocence behind that wall!’.

Once they reach the wildling camp, some of his excitement leaves him and is replaced by fear and anticipation at meeting the King Beyond the Wall.

If it wasn’t for Tormund by his side on his way there he might have run the other way at the site of giants or the Thenn as Tormund calls the wildings with scarred faces who look at his as if he’s food.

Meeting Mance Rayder isn’t as scary as he first thought it might be, but what he tells Jon exceeds any sort of terror he’d ever felt before.

He understands why they took him beyond the wall with them- if he had known about the army of the dead marching south he may have suggested they stop to collect more. But he doesn’t truly believe it until a stray wight stumbles into their camp.

Mance tells him that they need to get everyone south of the wall, or the hundreds of thousands of free folk gathered will die, and become part of the dead’s army, who will inevitably then march south, and take all of the seven kingdoms. He says that they’re to begin marching for Castle Black immediately, ready to kill all the brothers of the Nights Watch if they must.

Jon offers him a different solution, knowing the Jon Snow may not be able to help, but Prince Jon of House Targaryen can.

He reveals his identity to Mance, and the other free folk (Tormund is smug to find out that he’s been fucking a Prince the entire time and doesn’t stop mentioning it until Ygritte threatens him with an arrow through the eye if he doesn’t shut up).

Jon, Mance, Tormund, Ygritte and a select few others all head to castle black ahead of the rest of the Free Folk in hopes that when they arrive they’ll be able to walk straight through with no bloodshed.

It’s not a smooth journey unfortunately- Jon sees his first White Walker and feels fear grip him in the way the Wight never did. The look of understanding in the walkers eyes makes him feel colder than any snow storm, or wall of ice ever has.

They tell Jon to run, that without fire or dragonglass they cannot kill the white walker. Jon falls down in his efforts to escape, and in a desperate bid he swings his sword. The walkers body shatters then and there, and Jon feels relief like he never has before.

“Valyrian steel, you’re full of surprises aren’t you little prince” Tormund says, before pulling him into a fierce hug, and planting a desperate kiss on his lips. “Now, never scare me like that again” he says deadly serious and Jon laughs in spite of himself.

At Castle Black however there is no time for laughing. They’re immediately met with drawn swords and notched arrows, until Jon shouts his name and hesitantly the brothers withdraw their weapons.

Lord Commander Mormont says they will have to be kept in the cells until they can get proof of Jon’s identity, which the hastily agree to.

He explains the situation beyond the wall, and Mormont seems to believe him, permitting him to send ravens to his Uncle Ned in Winterfell who can come to identify the supposed Prince.

Days later he’s led out of the cells to the courtyard of Castle Black, still in chains, only to be knocked over by Ghost and shortly after, Arya, who’s no longer the little girl he remembered.

When he gets back to his feet he’s embraced just as aggressively by his Uncle and Robb, who almost shed a tear at the sight of him.

They tell him he was presumed dead after he went missing and Ghost showed up at Winterfell alone. Arya plasters herself to his side even as Mormont is unchaining him, and Ned tells him fondly that she couldn’t be persuaded to stay at Winterfell when there was a chance he was alive.

[His little cousin had supposedly ran away to Braavos once Jon had gone missing, returning a more skilled swordsman than anyone at Winterfell - Jon was proud of her even if both Robb and Ned looked torn apart at the memory of her leaving.]

Mormont and the brothers apologise profusely for keeping him in the cells - “I hope you understand your grace, but we had no way to tell who you were.”

Jon politely asks that his companions be released and at this the men of the watch bristle. They’ve been fighting wildlings their whole lives, they say, they aren’t about to just let a bunch of them free in Castle Black.

He’s angry at their response, but he somewhat understands, and he heads down into the cells to apologise. He presses his forehead against Tormund’s through the bars and touches his hand with his own, promising he won’t be left their for long, he just needs to convince the watch.

He starts with Ned and Robb, telling them all about the wights, begging them to believe him. They trust him, and so vouch for him to Mormont, saying that the wildlings can stay in the lands surrounding Winterfell, and Mormont reluctantly agrees to open the gates for the free folk when they arrive.

Jon tells Ned about the army of the dead, how they need to gather all the living and defeat them. Ned agrees to call his bannermen, and tells him that his father will agree to call all the Houses to march North, but that they will need proof before they do so.

So Jon arranges an expedition beyond the wall, himself (much to Ned’s disapproval), Tormund, Ygritte, and three brothers of the watch, Edd, Pyp, and Grenn. Mance stays at Castle Black awaiting the rest of the Free Folk so that he can lead them south with Ned.

While beyond the wall they manage to capture a lone wight, despite all the tension between the Free Folk and the watch- but it doesn’t come without cost.

Jon, Tormund and Edd return to Castle Black sombrely with the rest of their party gone, and the smell of smoking bodies still on their clothes.

There’s no time to mourn however, as soon as they’re back, Jon, Ned and Tormund (who refuses to leave Jon) head for Kings Landing with a select few northern guards, leaving behind a Night’s Watch who are now convinced of the army of the dead, and all the wildlings now safely south of the wall.

It’s a long journey to King’s Landing, even by boat, and Tormund complains the entire time of the ever increasing heat. Jon thinks his uncle can tell from the fond way he smiles at Tormund, and the gingers hungry gaze what’s happening between them, but he’s gracious enough not to mention it. All he says one night before they retire is a whispered ‘be careful’, a small smile, and a pat on the shoulder.

Jon feels guilty to say he hasn’t missed Kings Landing, not the smell, or the heat, or the millions of people confined in a tiny space.

But when his father clutches him in is arms, shedding tears with no shame, saying how he’d missed him while he was gone- that he had missed.

It’s evident from the lack of reaction (for Rhaegar the tears and shouting had barely scratched the surface of a reaction) that Ned hadn’t told him about the months Jon had been missing, and he tried his best to avoid it.

But when trying to explain why he had gone beyond the wall, there was no way to phrase it without getting his Uncle into trouble.

Jon’s sure that the only thing stopping Rhaegar from hitting Ned is that 1) Ned had spent the entire time out searching and 2) Jon had insisted that his uncle didn’t authorise him to leave.

Then they get onto the important stuff.

They reveal to the King the wight and he immediately responds with ‘how do we stop them’. Jon tells him about their plan, of meeting the dead with an army as large as they can get, and Rhaegar immediately sends the order for all the armies in the seven kingdoms to march north.

He also says he will write to Daenerys, who’s been in Essos since Jon went to Winterfell, liberating Slavers Bay, and becoming a ruler in her own right. She now supposedly commands an army of Unsullied, the Dothraki, and has three dragons.

Rhaegar sends them back up north, saying he’ll wait for Dany and that the armies should be shortly behind him, taking with them all the dragonglass they can find (thankfully his Uncle Viserys had long since found the stores below Dragonstone, where he became Lord as soon as he was of age).

Jon is shocked by how clingy Tormund is with him for the entire trip back, but Tormund tells him that despite the huge army they’re building and the possibility of three dragons, there’s still no certainty they’ll win this war, and he wants to make the most of every last moment with Jon. (If Jon tears up a little at this Tormund never tells anyone.)

He’s stood on the battlements at Winterfell with Sansa, now a woman grown, Arya, Robb, Ned, and of course Tormund, looking out at the armies of free folk, northmen, and the rest of the noble houses who arrived not long ago, when he first sees a dragon - or rather three of them.

They’re huge, magnificent creatures, and Jon can just make out Dany on the back of the largest one, and his father and Viserys on the other two. Out in the distance he can see the thousands of Unsullied marching in perfect formation, and the stomping of thousands of dorthraki close behind.

With them comes Jorah Mormont, who announces himself as Queensguard to Daenerys. When Jon tells him of meeting his father he looks away in shame, telling him he has dishonoured his house, and hopes to make up for it by serving his Queen loyally.

The dragons finally land, and Jon ventures over to reunite with his family and meet the dragons. They’re even more amazing up close, and they don’t seem to mind him, his father, and uncle, but they huddle around Daenerys like young children with their mothers. (It makes sense when she’s announced as Queen Daenerys of the Bay of Dragons, Breaker of Chains, and Mother of Dragons).

Jon wants to desperately to hear about how his aunt came to be a queen beyond the narrow sea, but they have more immediate problems.

They hold a war council, with all the great lords, the three eldest Targaryen siblings, all the Stark children but Bran and Rickon, Mance Rayder, Tormund and of course Jon.

They decide upon a preemptive strike- if they can wipe out the dead before they cross the wall and avoid a battle they sure as hell will.

The decision they come to is that Dany and Viserys (riding on Drogon and Viserion) will fly across the wall and destroy as many wights as possible with dragonfire.

Rhaegar tries to insist he go as well, but everyone refuses to allow the King to go with them due to the risk.

They all wait while the two of them fly north, holding their breath for any sign of them.

After what feels like days, there is a lone screech, and a singular flying figure on the horizon.

Dany and Drogon land, and she’s stood looking angry as Jon had ever seen her.

She chokes out that the leader of the White Walkers, who she dubs the Night King, killed Viserion and Viserys with him.

They know now they will have to face them in battle, on their side of the wall, so they immediately begin forging weapons made of dragonglass and fortifying Winterfell.

They receive a message from Last Hearth, clearly written in a rush, reading ‘the dead are here, they are coming’.

They send Dany out as a scout, to estimate how long they have before the dead are upon them. Once she returns, telling them they have days at most they all ready for battle.

[myymi]

tails when he makes it obvious who raised him >>>>