#okay. okay. I'm normal now. (lying)

[tragicvampireromanceisland]

WELL. this started out as me just wanting to explore what their dynamic might be like, and then it turned into yuri, like. not even halfway through. what can i say!!! they're just neat!! also sadness deserves more ships!!!!!

LISTEN listen. my rationale: disgust hates being vulnerable. sadness thrives off vulnerability. sadness is blunt as all hell. disgust is the total opposite!!! they would bounce off one another so well.

they're both equally good at seeing the flaws in others, but for different reasons. a natural critic versus a natural pessimist. whereas disgust would see these flaws as a weakness, they're just...kind of there to sadness, nothing really much beyond that. i think she'd be a little confused as to why disgust tries so hard to hide flaws that are obviously there...sadness would rather just accept them. and they'd both be confused as to how they're both able to find flaws in everything so easily but react so differently to it. i think they'd be...oddly amused (and perhaps endeared...!!) by the others' neuroses and quirks and behaviors. they both kinda see the other as a bit of a loser as a result... 💙💚

[fastcardotmp3]

Die Young | Buck + Eddie (9-1-1)

watch on youtube:

[thatsnotbuddies]

Changes on our hands and on our faces, Memories are mapped out by the lines we'll trace Jack Eichel & Noah Hanifin x Laughter Lines - Bastille

[neallo]

made almost 2 months ago when the current shape of the bury us both endgame was juuuuuust starting to take form in my brain O_O

[gertritude]

Continuing to revisit persona 5. Was examining fanfic stats before and after royal coming out and I still find it insane how much pr that game did for akechi

[polysyndetonaddictsupportgroup]

if toji suddenly reincarnated back into ssg, how would each character react? like obvi gojo would try to hollow purple him on sight but he manages to hold himself back to get some answers from toji instead. do the others know that it was bc of toji that megumi is stuck in the situation he’s in rn? would megumi even want to talk to his dad?

and how would toji take finding out how the zenin treated his son? he thought that he’d be safe and happy there and then he finds out what they did to megumi and that it was gojo and co who stopped it.

Everyone knows that Toji sold megumi to the zenin.

I think it actually really bothers Megumi how it’s common knowledge. He doesn’t know anything about his own father other than he sold him, and that’s not even private to him. He’s just some unwanted kid who his dad only had to sell like prized cattle.

It was never a secret that Toji sold him to the Zenin. Maki knew, and she already told the others when giving them the rundown on what happened. They’d all know that toji’s the reason megumi’s stuck in this situation.

The second years:

It depends on when he arrived. If it’s when Yuuta still hasn’t gotten the RCT backlash under control, then he may have to worry a bit about the power of love and also this sword.

He’d survive. Not unscathed. But he’d survive.

If it’s after Yuuta’s gotten control, Yuuta still would hate him, but he wouldn’t be as proactive about it. Mostly because Megumi would feel weird about him making a fuss. He’d intervene every time Toji tried to talk to Megumi if Megumi established he didn’t want to talk to him. He’d try to quietly get him the fuck out of there. He'd radiate an aura of murder whenever Toji came close.

Maki would ice Toji out on principle. Like, she’d hate that she had to. Toji’s supposed to be the only one who understands her. They’re both Zenin clan rejects. They both were hurt in such similar ways.

But only one of them sold their fucking kid back into that hellhole, and that ended with Megumi in a hospital bed. She’d be bitter, internally, that she couldn’t try for something like a relationship with Toji. She’d wonder if she betrayed Mai the same way he betrayed Megumi. She wouldn’t outwardly react to him. She’d ice him out.

Inumaki and Panda would embark on a quest to ruin his fucking life. They’d short sheet his bed. They’d put itching powder in his pants. They’d put bleach in his shampoo. All would fail, but this would not discourage them.

The adults:

Gojo would bend over backwards to keep Toji away from Megumi.

Gojo's playing the game of "only let Megumi get information he can physically handle" right now. that's why he's refusing to let Maki tell him the truth about the Ten Shadows. He knows his kid. He knows Megumi's impossibly fucked up and is not going to tell them how badly or ask for help for what happened. He knows Megumi's going to break if anything else happens, and he knows that Toji showing up out of nowhere and dropping six bombshells on him is not something Megumi could handle. He'd squeeze Toji for insider information on the Zenin and threaten to punt Toji to the moon if he didn't stay the fuck away.

Toji would not be impressed by the threats.

Nanami and Shoko would refuse to have anything to do with him. Shoko wouldn’t speak to him. Nanami would, but only to inform him that his sole priorities are the wellbeing of his family, and that Megumi has a right to speak with Toji if he so wishes, but if he doesn't, toji needs to steer far clear of him. He's done enough. toji may have been his father biologically, but Nanami was the one who carried him home--twice--after the family Toji sold him to broke him to the point he was close to death. Nanami has been there for the parent teacher conferences and the nightmares and all the shit Toji never even tried to be there for even when he had a chance. Toji surrendered his place in Megumi's life, and it's been filled. And Toji should not dare to try and hurt nanami's family again. He's already done enough.

Megumi:

Megumi hates him. And he wouldn’t want to talk to him.

Megumi never talks about his dad. If someone asked, he’d say he doesn’t care about him, didn’t expect better from him, and doesn’t care that toji sold him. It’s hard to be hurt by someone you never expected to love you. He’s not surprised; he’s not disappointed; this is just his dad being on brand. He was a piece of shit before and a piece of shit now.

He’d be lying.

His dad selling him to the Zenin cut megumi deeper than anything else in his life. The zenin were always his abusers. But Toji was supposed to be his dad. He was supposed to take care of him.

He was supposed to love him. And a part of megumi has never been able to understand why he didn’t.

In megumi’s mind, he had to have known what pieces of shit the Zenin were, and he sent him there anyway. And Megumi hates him for it, he really does.

I guess it really depends on when in the sgg timeline it is. Like, are we dropping him right in the middle of the currently chapter?

Megumi would assume he’s a hallucination. He’d think his brain would be just fucking with him and making it all hurt more. It would make him violently upset, and Toji would have to be removed from the room, and Gojo would probably have to knock Megumi out to get him to calm down again.

If he’s gotten better, then Toji would still make him violently upset. But he’d be aware enough to hide how much.

He’d refuse to see him. He’d refuse to talk to him. He wouldn’t want to be in the same room as him. His dad couldn’t be fucked to ever be there for him, so Megumi doesn’t see why he should drop everything to see him now.

Megumi's not in a mindset where he could ever healthily see Toji, coming right off SGGs. like, he's traumatized out of his fucking mind. He's absolutely unable to handle the added stress of his deadbeat dad coming back to life and wanting to chat.

Toji:

Toji would kill all of them.

The thing is, I don't think Toji actually thought Megumi would be safe and happy with the Zenin. I think that's the lie he told himself to justify selling his son to his abusers. Like, he knows his family's cruelty better than anyone. He knows that even if you have cursed energy, they're not exactly tender parents.

I think he was just in a spiral, struggling with a gambling addiction, and was trying to take an easy way out and lying to himself about what exactly he was doing to his son.

He'd feel like shit over it, the confirmation that he son could be literally the most important person for hundreds of years to the zenin and they'd still hurt him. He'd kill them for putting Megumi in the hospital bed, for hurting him all those years ago. He wouldn't know how to begin fixing things with his son, so he'd do what he knows how to do, which is just fucking kill the people who hurt him to begin with.

[ambidexedition]

2 hours into it and in stars and time act 4 is genuinely out for my blood the new siffrin portrait in the king fight had me screaming and I had to physically get up from my computer and pace around my room for ten minutes after the kiss scene. I don't think I'm going to survive this game I'm just going to keel over from the gutwrenching agony of it all oh my GOD

[unproduciblesmackdown]

billions also comedy gold presenting winston as a scapegoat for abuse culture fans when it's like but hey it can't be actual scapegoating if you Enjoy It or consider it Justified or experience Reassurance from Its Opportunity For A Group Cohesion Substitute For A Cohesion Based On An Inherent Equal Degree Of Belonging, The Absence Of Which Allows For, Encourages, Reinforces, & Rewards Scapegoating

it can't be Bullying if someone's Weird or you Just Don't Personally Like Them or Nobody's Actually Stopping You, Maybe At Least If They Don't See Too Much Of It, Maybe Others Are Supporting It

it can't be Abuse if you're just doing things Normally or are Following Rules or Aren't Feeling Malicious And Aren't Getting Divine Revelations Otherwise and probably it's just that a lot of abnormal people are being whiny &/or unfair &/or the Real malicious ones. kinda just like how that scapegoat is the real person ruining everything and really just forcing you to treat them like this

[anaalnathrakhs]

btw my mom said it. she said it to me looking me in the eyes. i told her about how difficult it was for me to get through those family reunions, and she admitted it was very important to her, important enough that she was just going to do it anyway.

[smoozie]

If I know myself at all, I know watching Scar's s5 or s6 of Hermitcraft will do irreparable damage to my brain

[frootloopscereal]

yay therapy tomorrow, so much to catch up on

boo therapy tomorrow, having to admit to last week's post-therapy freakout involving a knife on my bathroom floor and crying on the shower floor in the dark for forty minutes

[coldbrewpup]

if i make a post about trans women please do NOT come on there and start making it about trans men. yes we love and respect trans men but i'm not talking about them right now. make your own post, stop derailing trans women talking about each other.

[memorydragon]

Spoilers ahead. Confusing spoilers if you haven't started the novel, but if you're half-way through please scroll past.

So when I say this scene is what drove me mental years ago back when I first started reading Po Yun and Tun Hai, that reading it again even after so many years still made me feral. This was the Ride or Die moment that never left while translations were dropped and disappearing. Please understand when I say that reading again after reading the whole novel makes me 10x more feral than before. That is not an exaggeration. I am 100% not okay and these are crying in the club hours. F̴̻̹̊͑̉̿e̵̘̠͈͗ͅr̶̞̠͍̮̓̊͠ā̶͈̹̅̓͠ḻ̵͓̏͑͘.

Because Wu Yu's long, long panic attack, because when he's finally able to come up for air when the waves recede just the slightest, he's pushed back down again and again, because his 'safe' person has been taken away.

Because this 'elite' who had an easy life, just admitted he'd been dragged from the fire when he was nine years old after his parents were murdered in front of him. This person who wants to take him out of this hell and pull him back, who should be safe, is covering Wu Yu with his whole body, cradling his head and covering his eyes as a ruthless mob decends on them. Because this shouldn't be happening again - but death follows behind him mercilessly cutting everyone down but leaving him. Because dying is easy living is more difficult. Bu Chonghua's blood is on his face and this person should be safe but keeping their promise requires sacrifice. Please don't promise any more.

(Bu Chonghua was supposed to run. He was supposed to leave Wu Yu to deal with the mob. But if he'd done that, people would have died, and it probably wouldn't be Wu Yu, and he'd promised to pull Wu Yu back from this abyss. He wouldn't let the rage of the mob swallow Wu Yu like a wave, dragging him back under. As they beat him, he cradle's Wu Yu's head and covers his eyes, because he won't give Wu Yu up, not to the ocean or to fire, and I'm so fucking Normal about this.)

Liao Gang sees Wu Yu at the hospital and knows something is wrong. Something is off, this is not the meek and submissive Wu Yu they've met for these past few months. He correctly pulls Wu Yu aside and instead of admonishing him to go get checked over, he says 'hey, why don't you get checked out by the hospital because someone needs to look after Captain Bu tonight. If you let them patch you up, you'll be put with the captain.' And Wu Yu finally - finally relents and allows the hospital staff to look him over.

When the lights are off and he can't sleep because there's no light he tries to trace over the current Bu Chonghua with the memory of the child he'd saved in the past, and he can't sleep but he can finally breathe. Now he can agree that Bu Chonghua and Zhang Boming are different, that Bu Chonghua isn't just an elite who sends his subordinates to death for greater glory, but someone who wants to pull him back. (And I'm putting it more politely. I honestly love that Wu Yu is still sort of cursing Bu Chonghua out when he says this, because of course he is, and Bu Chonghua is immediately gonna chew him out for smoking. I love Them.)

But when he wakes up, Bu Chonghua is gone. The hospital bed is empty and cold, and there's a committee of directors who have come to question him. He asks where his safe person Bu Chonghua is, but they put him off, saying they just want to ask a few questions. Bu Chonghua has been isolated because there's been a death - death always follows him - and they're pushing the blame on him and Bu Chonghua. Why did Zhang Boming jump to his death? What did you say to him? Why did you survive? What right do you have to survive? He'll take all the blame on himself. He was the one who killed the suspect, Bu Chonghua didn't hurt any of the mob. It was him, it was all him, and what right do you have to speak about loyalty and sacrifice, when the hospital report on their injuries is right in front of you. They assume Wu Yu will see this is just a formality, but he doesn't have the frame of reference they knew he should It wasn't him with that frame of reference, he never had one and he lashes out. They're caging him, blaming him again, and what right do you have to talk about loyalty to someone who is on the front lines?

What right do you have to come back? What right do you have to survive?

After they sedate him and bring him back, leaving him in confinement (there's a bed, his wounds have been dressed, and there's even a tv and above average food left out for him. It's a plush confinement, only for one night. They think they're going easy on him and he should be grateful, because no one told them he's panicking and has been in danger undercover his whole life for twelve years and he hasn't been able to handle eating meat since he was a child. The lights are off when he wakes up, and he's alone. The lights are off and no one is responding when he asks them to turn on the lights. No one is there when he's progressively slipping back under the waves of panic. And when he lifts the lid on the food, all he can smell is meat.

He bites his own finger, trying to wash it out with the smell of the disinfectant from his wounds and blood, but he can still smell the meat that he spilt in his own revulsion and the lights are still off. (Wu Yu, little fish, I'm not blaming you, but please, please learn to talk about your triggers and let people know so they can accommodate you, because they would actually like to accommodate you and you're not weak because you have ptsd, you're breaking our hearts. Also, as an aside, Song Ping is actually quite hilarious in this fight. He's not to blame either, but he's making things so much worse and I love that Bu Chonghua has to yell at both of them to calm down because they're both set off on his sake)

And when someone finally comes, finally turns on the lights, they're blaming him. Look how you're acting! You're acting like a spoiled child when we've sacrifed been so nice to you! We've brought you back here, to this place you've worked for several months, your new home!

Except he never came back.

He was never brought back.

He was sacrificed for to catch the criminal. He died because his life was less important than catching someone on the wrong side of the law.

He was never asked if he wanted this sacrifice. He never wanted to be a cop. Who is Wu Yu? He's never had a name. Let him go, let him go - let him go!

He was never brought back. He never came back - Zhang Boming made the correct choice, but he never came back. The sacrifice was chosen, the promise was paid. Why did he survive? What right did Wu Yu have to survive when we he never came back.

"Wu Yu!"

He never came back.

"It's me. Okay, calm down." Someone restraining him, and he struggles automatically, but slowly stops. "It's me, Wu Yu. It's me. Just calm down."

Bu Chonghua came back. Held him above the water untll he could catch his breath. And finally, finally...

The boy left his own blood on Bu Chonghua's cheek, disappearing for twenty years, leaving only one command - Survive.

"I arrived late."

"I was just a little worried. It wasn't very late." It wasn't his whole life twelve years. It was only one nightmare. You pulled me back.

The boy who rushed off to save a child he didn't know finally appeared before Bu Chonghua again. He came back.

He came back.

[unusualsims]

Can I get a crumb inside my pocket For the mouse inside my brain Cause everybody knows That the river's gonna flow Like strawberry rain

[chronomally]

The Odyssey but it's Joe as Odysseus and Ox as Penelope

[erstwhilesparrow]

hand 1: i will never get anything done if i am constantly going "wow i should write fic about this" every time i watch a video. hand 2: this is fun.

okay. making a list so everything's in one place and i can sort by feasibility.

highly likely / certain:

[REDACTED], which i cannot elaborate on but does Have To Get Done because there's an actual concrete deadline

treebark + no rope for a leash, despite circumstances. set in a prophecy somewhere in the static.

more of that new life exploring each other's bodies thing

wra triptych -- gem's section

less likely:

gem character study -- sausage + the demon in mythland, scott + the dungeon, jimmy + the rescue -- handling things alone

(alternative to the above: gem and katherine as mirrors / parallels. or gem and jimmy though i haven't figured that one out yet.)

cleo + martyn upsetting mecha au (12x100?)

least likely to actually happen but still want to:

drabble sequence again for empires s2 x twilight mirage crossover. pix deserves to have a mech / have to confront disappearing for five years.

they fucked in that villa guys. (aufest fic spin-off / au)

pirates (herons) have a good fun time