#okay that's my PSA have a good day everyone

[wisdom-devotee]

Beginner’s Guide to Hellenic Polytheism

I KNOW this is a really long post but my intention was to just note down everything that I think is important for beginners and that’s A LOT. It took me forever to learn some of these things but they’re so important, so buckle in. I hope this helps some people.

If I’ve missed anything, please feel free to let me know what you’d like me to add. I’ve been working on this for two days, so if there are typos, I’m so sorry.

The sections I cover here are key terms, mythic literalism, deity work vs deity worship, FAQs and General Advice.

Some Key Terms

Hellenic Polytheism: Hellenic means Greek, and Polytheism means worshipping multiple gods. So, Hellenic Polytheism is the worship of the Greek Pantheon which is also referred to as the Theoi. The religion is also referred to as Hellenism, Hellenismos, or abbreviated to Helpol. The people who practice could be referred to as Hellenic Polytheists, Hellenic Pagans, or Hellenists.

Hellenistic: you may see the term ‘Hellenistic Polytheism’, but this is my PSA to ask people not to use that, as it’s incorrect. Hellenistic refers to a specific period of Andient Greece, from 323-32 BC, and your worship is almost definitely not specifically focused on that period.

Ouranic: this is the term for the heavenly gods. Be aware that there is some overlap between Ouranic and Chthonic deities. Whether a deity is Ouranic or Chthonic will effect things like prayer position (palms up for Ouranic) and whether offerings can be eaten or drank (yes for Ouranic)

Chthonic: this is the term for the underworld gods. Be aware that there is some overlap between Ouranic and Chthonic deities. Whether a deity is Ouranic or Chthonic will effect things like prayer position (palms down for Chthonic) and whether offerings can be eaten or drank (no for Chthonic) side note - when it comes to hero worship, I personally treat them as if they’re chthonic.

Kharis: this means reciprocity, and also refers to the relationship formed between us and the gods. Arguably the most important aspect of Hellenic Polytheism is that when you ask something of a deity, you must give an offering in return. Size of what you’re asking for should correspond to size of the offering, or if you’ve given many little offerings without asking for anything you can use that as why you should be given the Big Thing.

Xenia: guest-friendship, hospitality. The idea that any stranger could be a God in disguise, so treat everyone respectfully. It’s an Ancient Greek social custom that a lot of Hellenic Polytheists see as important today. Simply put, in modern times this most often just means being kind to strangers. There’s a lot more to it than that though, so look here. Know that Xenia is a two-way thing, so you have to be generous to your guests but they must also respect your home.

Eusebeia: basically, piety. Respecting the Gods. This is really the only ‘rule’ of Hellenic polytheism. There’ll be different ideas of what is considered respectful, but as long as you have good intentions and don’t do anything you KNOW would be offensive, you’re okay. Don’t insult the gods (any of them), don’t ask for anything without offering something else, and don’t treat yourself as equal to or higher than the theoi.

Hubris: excessive pride or dangerous overconfidence, often the fatal flaw of a lot of Greek heroes in mythology. Specifically, this is when you act better than or equal to the gods. You are not.

Libations: a type of offering, in the form of a liquid. Usually poured on the ground but can be drank (unless it’s to a chthonic deity) if you’re a closeted Hellenic polytheist who can’t just pour some liquid on the floor every time you want to offer it. My advice for food offerings/libations to chthonic deities if you’re not openly a hellenist is to offer leftovers, rotting food, or something you otherwise know will go to waste.

Altar: traditionally a place used to put physical offerings and food offerings for deities. Some people have an altar to each deity, some people have one altar for all their deities. These can be as big or as small as you want. People may use shelves, drawers, boxes, windowsills, etc, and I don’t even use mine for food offerings, only for physical ones because I usually eat the food offering (I don’t like the idea of wasting food). My altars also just serve as a dedicated space for that deity in my life.

Hero worship: this is the worship of ‘heroes’ in Greek mythology, which includes literally any mortal. For example, I worship Odysseus of Ithaca, Penelope of Ithaca, Helen of Sparta, and Tiresias of Thebes. I’ve been asked a lot about how hero worship differs from deity worship, and you can find that answer here.

Devotee: there is a lot of disagreement on what the difference between a devotee and worshipper is, but for me, I’m devoted to Athena as I feel I have the closest bond with Her of all my deities and I honour Her the most. This partly comes from my feeling that She has been with me for much longer than I’ve been aware of Her presence, and that also so much of who I am and what I value comes under Her domains.

Patron: this basically means that if part of your identity comes under the domain of a deity, then that deity is your patron. There can be occupational patrons (like Hermes is the patron of merchants) or to do with things like gender (Hera is a patron for women. Yes this includes trans women, transphobes are not welcome here.) You can have more than one patron, and you don’t need to worship all of the deities who would be considered your patron.

Epithets: these are titles given to deities. There are two types - cult epithets, which describe the aspect of a deity you’re focusing on (like Athena Ageleia, meaning ‘Protector of the People’) since they have a lot of domains and it’s important in prayers to specify what you want. Then there’s poetic epithets, which are adjectives, often used to compliment a deity. I like using these to make my prayers seem more sophisticated to be honest (example: white-armed Hera)

Unverified Personal Gnosis: gnosis is spiritual knowledge. If it’s unverified, that means that it has no basis in historical sources as far as the person is aware, and they don’t know anybody else who has the same experience. You will often see this abbreviated as UPG. Personally, I think UPG is really valid, considering a lot of things are unknown to us due to the loss of sources overtime.

Shared Personal Gnosis: gnosis is spiritual knowledge. Like UPG, Shared Personal Gnosis (often abbreviated as SPG) doesn’t have any historical backing as far as the people who believe it are aware, but it is shared by multiple different people and therefore seen by some as more valid than UPG (though I’d argue that all SPG is UPG before you know that other people agree)

Verified Personal Gnosis: gnosis is spiritual knowledge. It being verified means that there are historical sources to back up the belief, and this is commonly abbreviated to VPG. You are more likely to come across the terms UPG than SPG or VPG, and most of what Helpol people on tumblr discuss is UPG, even if they don’t state that directly.

Reconstructionist: these are people who try to ‘reconstruct’ the ancient religion, recreating ancient rituals as best they can and doing things as close as they can get to how the ancient Greeks did based on our historical sources. An important note here is that we will never be able to do this perfectly and that’s okay. For example, I would hope none of us are making animal sacrifices.

Revivalist: these are people who try to recreate the ‘spirit’ of the religion, though not with the exact practices that the Ancient Greeks used. Revivalists are more concerned with the values and beliefs of the ancient religion than they necessarily are with how it was practiced. I personally feel like I fall somewhere between the two, but I also think both are really valid!

Mythic Literalism

Mythic Literalism is the idea that the stories we see in any mythology actually occurred. In Hellenic Polytheism, this is not how we tend to look at the Greek myths. And it’s not how the ancients saw them either.

Greek mythology has always been interpreted as symbolic. For example, Hades kidnapping Persephone is mostly accepted to be about mothers in Ancient Greece being separated from their daughters once they marry. It does not mean that Hades, the God, kidnapped Persephone, the Goddess, and that people who worship Hades are evil because Hades is a kidnapper. This myth can also be interpreted through the lens that death separates families.

This is important because the Gods all do things that are, by today’s standards, incredibly immoral - and a lot of them were even immoral in antiquity. It is important to not take the myths literally to avoid feelings of guilt over worshipping something horrific.

And yes, this applies to Zeus. He is not a rapist, He’s a male fertility god. In myths he does bad things because he represents kings and kings can abuse their power. Things like that.

But it’s still good to research the myths! It’s good to learn the ways in which these deities were understood and what their domains can represent. Myths also help us to feel more familiar with our deities. Additionally the myths tell us not to be hubristic, and things like the Iliad tell us about Oaths and Offerings and Xenia. These are important parts of helpol.

Deity Work vs Deity Worship

I’m going to preface this section by saying that I worship deities, I don’t work with them, so even though I’m doing research on this please take everything I say about deity work with a grain of salt and note that the rest of this post might apply more to worship, because that’s what I’m familiar with. Lastly, my intention here is not to place a value judgement on either type, I just want to try and make a full explanation for anyone out there looking for one, since I’ve found it to be kind of difficult to find.

From my understanding, deity work is common among witches, and usually involves asking a deity to help with your spells or other forms of magick. When you work with a deity, you are asking them to mentor you in a sense, and there’s often a specific goal in mind that they’re hoping to achieve with help of the deity. Additionally, because of that goal-oriented relationship, deity work has deadlines(?). Like, once you’ve achieved the goal you had, the deity will stop working with you

There are similarities, as both seem to involve reciprocity and offerings, and both involve cultivating a relationship with deities, even if the nature of that relationship and the reason for offering is different.

Deity worship doesn’t have a set end-goal. You CAN stop actively worshipping a deity, but this doesn’t usually come after a specific goal is achieved because there isn’t a goal in mind. Worship is more about honouring the deity. Khakis is built out of admiration, respect and love for the deity. This is why we pray, make offerings, etc. it’s all to honour the gods. We do ask for things in deity worship, but that’s not the entire point like it is for deity work.

FAQs

Do I need to be called to worship/work with a deity?

Nope! You are 100% allowed to reach out first. You can do that by praying or making an offering. Remember to research the deity first, so you know what epithets to use, know what symbols they’re associated with, have ideas for offerings, etc. Also, if a deity calls to you, you are not obligated to worship them. Acknowledge them and move on if you don’t have time, energy, or interest in worshipping them at that time.

Where can I find information on deities?

The main site that I think everyone uses is theoi.com, which has really in-depth pages on a lot of deities, with their myths, lists of epithets, family trees, etc. it’s a really useful resource!

Do I need an altar?

No. They’re nice to have but you don’t need one straight away. It took me two years of worshipping to get any altars, and even now I don’t really use them how you’re ‘supposed’ to.

Are there any sins in Hellenic Polytheism?

No, just don’t disrespect a god (don’t disrespect any of them, even the ones you don’t worship should be respected). Also don’t show hubris.

Deity X and Deity Y don’t get along, but I want to worship both, what do I do?

Disregard mythic literalism and remember this is a polytheistic religion. The gods know they are not the only god you will be worshipping, and they are chill with that. If you really want, you can separate their altars if you have an altar per deity, but it’s up to you completely.

Other General Advices

This post is a starting point, nothing here is very in-depth. Do more research if anything on here is still confusing to you. Feel free to ask people here on tumblr, I’m sure most of us would be happy to help.

Don’t believe everything you see on tiktok/tumblr. We’re all still learning, a lot of us are wrong about stuff. Do other research and let yourself form your own beliefs. As I’ve said, even parts of this post should be taken with a grain of salt. I’m no expert, I just want to try to help.

If you’re going to make your own posts about helpol stuff, advice I’ve seen before that really stuck with me is ‘keep some things scared’. You don’t have to post everything. I, at the moment, don’t post my prayers or photos of my altars. Those things are what I keep scared, you should have your own things. They don’t have to be the same as mine.

You have nothing to be afraid of. The gods can be intimidating when you’re starting out, but they know we don’t have as much readily available information about this stuff as the ancient greeks did. They also know you’re new, and they will be patient with you. Don’t be scared.

You can offer anything. Digital offerings are as valid as physical offerings. Devotional acts are valid too.

Know that you will never be done learning. Accept this and commit to trying to learn anyway.

Know how to tell signs from the gods apart from just General Happenings of the world. Here is a good post on that. I have a series on my blog tagged #signs from deities, to show the kinds of things I personally recognise to be signs and to show how frequently/infrequently those can occur. I would suggest keeping your own record of those, whether or not you share it is up to you. The reason is to reflect on your journey and, if you ever doubt your gods, you can look at those lists to remind yourself of how they’ve been there for you previously.

Doubt is healthy, it’s okay to doubt things. Don’t feel bad for this, the gods understand. Let yourself question everything you feel the need to question.

Similarly, anger is healthy. It’s okay to be angry at the gods, but don’t disrespect them because you’re upset. Handle your anger well. You won’t get punished for being upset.

The Hellenic Gods aren’t generally believed to be all-knowing, however it is believed that they can hear us when we call their names, which is why prayers start with invocation of a deity’s name and an epithet.

[beneathsilverstars]

If skipping your meds for a day or two doesn't give you horrible side effects or withdrawal, you can skip them and THEN take psychedelics, so that the antidepressants don't interfere

That's what I do, I skip my SNRI(thought it is short-lived) and my antipsychotics the day of and everything is Gucci

last month i tried skipping my mirtazapine for THREE days before doing LSD and even then it only did like. more than nothing but less than three hits of weed. it was so fucking tragic 😩

if i knew exactly how long i'd have to be off it i might try again, but i don't wanna like, go five days without meds, arrange my whole weekend to make time, etc, and have it still not work... it's hard to eat off of my meds so that's a lot of effort for something that still might not work. like you'd think five days would be enough but i also thought three days would be enough!

[jules-hoard-of-stuff]

PSA for Across the Spiderverse:

Do NOT see the new Spiderverse movie if you have any form of epileptic condition or conditions affected by bright lights and rapidly changing colors.

I will not be spoiling the plot or anything happening in it, but it is important that people know, because ohhh my god the AMOUNT of flashing lights and rapidly changing colors from beginning to end was so rampant that even I, a non-epileptic autistic person, got a severe headache and wild overstimulation. They do not give a warning in theaters at all that this movie is NOT epileptic friendly from the literal beginning with the beginning credits - which is so, so sad!

This is a beautifully made film, it's wonderful, it's amazing, but unfortunately, it's not a good time for anyone super affected by bright flashing lights in rapid succession, especially those seizure prone.

I wanted to put this out there BECAUSE there are no theater warnings. Idk if anyone else has put it out there, but it is SUPER IMPORTANT!!!

I wish you all a lovely day and hope they eventually have a remaster that will be much more friendly to epileptic and other people affected by bright, flashing lights.

(EDIT: Changed all text to plain text for screen readers! Sorry about that, my bad!)

SECOND EDIT: please do not fight in the comments of my post please... if you guys wanna talk stuff out in DMs, that is a-okay and not my business but I directly get notifications for everyone's comments and replies- including people fighting in the comments.

I understand that some theaters have warnings in them. Mine did not, and many other peoples' did not. It seems to be a theater by theater basis, so please understand that is where I'm coming from. If you had a warning in your theater, that is wonderful! And I'm very grateful that ya'lls theaters had warnings! That is a great sign. But please under stand that mine and many others' theaters don't have warnings.

Please take any arguments off my post, it is not meant to be grounds for heated discussion, just a warning for people who are photosensitive or epileptic. Thank you.

[astonmartinii]

false start | lewis hamilton social media au

pairing: lewis hamilton x fem swimmer reader

some people are getting a bit too ahead of themselves

MASTERLIST | TIP JAR

.・゜゜・ part of the aston martini summer olympics ・゜゜・．

espn

liked by fernandoalo_oficial, lillyking and 509,455 others

tagged: yourusername & lewishamilton

espn: the 2024 paris olympics kick off tomorrow and we'll be keeping a close eye on the pool. and despite being one of the biggest names in the sport and the fiance of seven-time f1 world champion lewis hamilton, we don't predict to see y/n y/ln on the podium this summer.

view all comments

user1: when will y'all learn?

user2: i swear they did this back in 2021, saying she wasn't good enough any more and then BAM she won double gold and they were suspiciously quiet after

user3: i hope she dunks on their heads again

charles_leclerc: STOP UNDERRATING HER I SWEAR TO FUCK

user4: bro hasn't even started as lewis' teammate and he's already ready to throw down for y/n

charles_leclerc: i have been a fan of the queen since before i even started in f1 - no one disrespects her in front of me

user5: espn better be shaking in their boots after that

lewishamilton: 😐

user6: the king has spoken

user7: it's an emoji babe

user8: real lewis fans know that this is worth a thousand words

user9: the picture with the double gold is going to hit like crack i fear

user10: best believe i know that they'll tag espn just to be messy

user11: i'm sat. i'm so sat. the cinema workers have told me she doesn't compete for a couple days but i'm simply so sat

yourusername: ⏳

user12: OKAY SLAY

user13: i need these golds like i need air

user14: okay queen i need you to run back the celebration from last olympics

user15: time to become an honourary aussie for a couple weeks to support y/n

user16: LET'S FUCKING GO KANGAROOS

user17: run me my passport australia

user18: when will lewis get his australian citizenship

lewishamilton

liked by georgerussell63, charles_leclerc and 1,459,833 others

tagged: yourusername

lewishamilton: go get em'

view all comments

user22: gIVE ME ONE CHANCE PLEASE GOD PLEASE

user23: sorry to everyone else at the games, but the hottest couple has arrived

user24: tiktok girls PSA: if i don't have ten alchemy edits of them on my desk by tomorrow morning THERE WILL BE ISSUES

yourusername: for you sir, anything

yourusername: ugh your ✨ title ✨ is so hot

lewishamilton: let's win and then put it to good use 😉

landnorris: do you people mind?

yourusername: why are you always in our business? don't you have your own little guppy to follow around in paris?

lewishamilton: he's just lonely? or not? i can't keep up with his relationship drama

landonorris: EXCUSE ME?

yourusername: you're excused? we've been together for like eight years we aren't used to whatever drama you've gotten yourself into

lewishamilton: eight years, six months and 237 days :P

user25: first espn and now lando? they're not holding back this summer

user26: fucking around and finding out is what summer 2024 is all about

georgerussell63: good luck y/n !!!

yourusername: thank you georgie :)

georgerussell63: and i checked, i don't think there's any gb swimmers in your events (other than the relays) so you'll have my full support

yourusername: thanks?

lewishamilton: he's a little confused but he's got the spirit

user27: i need y/n to win and come to the paddock with her medal for zandvoort

user28: i am seeing it and i need it to happen

olympics

liked by lewishamilton, pierregasly and 893,209 others

tagged: yourusername

olympics: never in doubt, y/n y/ln takes gold in the 100m backstroke final!

view all comments

user29: RAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

user30: suck on that espn

user31: espn admin come outside rn please i jUST WANNA TALK

lewishamilton: @espn KEEP MY (soon to be) WIFE'S NAME OUT YOUR FUCKING MOUTH

yourusername: that was so hot

lewishamilton: you wiping the floor with the whole pool was so hot

lewishamilton: but then again you're hot doing literally anything

yourusername: says you mr model

lewishamilton: i got a few things i wanna model for you ...

yourusername: is it my gold medal and nothing else ?

lewishamilton: how did you know ???

user32: so winning a gold medal really does make you horny on main

user33: some of us lived through them with no PR managers, this is tame

user34: they're one couple where it really wouldn't surprise me if something got leaked

yourusername: can confirm it tastes as sweet as it did in tokyo

oscarpiastri: could you hear me cheering? i was so loud :)

yourusername: funnily enough, no

oscarpiastri: oh :(

yourusername: but i felt it in my spirit!

oscarpiastri: good :) because i think i have slightly deafened your husband 🤷‍♂️

lewishamilton: my ears are still ringing but i'll take it because you were supporting y/n

yourusername: awwww you cuties

user35: yall saying that kimi antonelli is lewis' grid kid but it's clearly oscar

user36: if i watched lewis put yellow and green glitter on oscar's face on live tv it's not a conversation to start with

yourusername

liked by georgerussell63, jensonbutton and 1,459,783 others

tagged: olympics & lewishamilton

yourusername: gold in both 100m and 200m backstroke is more than i could've ever dreamed coming into these games, thank you to my family, friends and wonderful fiance for their support. and to the others, you know who you are, be careful on all those false starts you keep making ;)

view all comments

user38: where are you ? LET'S BE HAVING YOU !!!

user39: her winning the golds regardless isn't enough i need a gun

espn: ... i'm sorry?

lewishamilton: YOU SHOULD BE

espn: sir, i am just an intern who posts what i am given

yourusername: well now you're making me feel bad

espn: i can give you my boss' email?

lewishamilton: YES PLEASE LET ME AT EM

user40: bullying works?

lewishamilton: i'm so so so so so so proud and so so so glad that everything lined up for me to be there and witness your excellence in person 🙇🏾

yourusername: i love you so much and couldn't have done it without you, all those facetime dates and missed anniversaries are worth it in the end

yourusername: although i am looking forward to following you around the world again for a bit

user41: thank fuck you're not retiring ????

yourusername: who said that ??? @espn was it you again??

espn: not this time i swear!

yourusername: i can confirm that i am not retiring, us terrorising all the youngsters in our sport is kind of our whole bit

lewishamilton: although some people could learn to walk away - cough @fernandoalo_oficial

yourusername: really?

lewishamilton: beef waits for no one

fernandoalo_oficial: well i personally was cheering on y/n, you can choke

user42: how does y/n look so good even after racing?

yourusername: getting laid well and often 👍🏼

lewishamilton: you're welcome

yourusername: i love you 🥰

lewishamilton: i love you more

fin.

note: hope you guys enjoyed!! swimming is always my favourite olympic sport (i also swam for ten years so that's probably why lol)

[anadiasmount]

we’re pretending? - jude bellingham x reader.

quick sum: no date to an upcoming wedding, you use your best friend as last resort. what happens when your best friend isn’t playing pretend anymore and you’re left conflicted with these unusual feelings…

wc: 4.6 k | masterlist | jude’s masterlist

psa 🗣️: i used my og ‘glory box’ fic to get some inspo while writing this fic ngl!! 😣 this was so fun to write not only by the trope but the DRAMAAAA!! like always, hope you enjoy! 🤍

“yes mom, i know. i picked my dress up yesterday, and my flight is booked as well,” you sighed and rolled your eyes knowing she wouldn’t be able to see you through the phone. she knew how important this wedding was but she kept putting the pressure on you. it was the last thing you needed especially after you told her you’d bring someone along.

that someone was now you’re ex-boyfriend. you had less than 48 hours to come up with an excuse or show up alone.

"are you still bringing your plus one?" she asked, the line going silent for a few seconds before she spoke up again. "y/n? are you there?" you should've just lied or said the truth, all you could think of was how happy and super excited she was when you told her you'd met someone and began dating.

"yes mom... we both will be there," you closed your eyes, disappointment in yourself filling the void in your head. you could hear her squeal in the background, telling a voice there with her about the good news. you chewed on your lip anxiously, wanting to cut the call or else you'd break down.

"listen mom, i have t-to go okay? ill call you tomorrow. try not to stress so much," you smiled weakly hearing an "i love you", ending the call after gifting your goodbye. there was no avoiding the mistake you had committed. you wanted to slap some common sense into yourself, because where the hell were you about to find someone?

you clearly remembered the day telling your mom you'd met someone at uni. she was over the moon and wanted to tell everyone but you dismissed the idea, not wanting to rush since you had recently met. you would call her and tell her about him, and she listened so attentively, just like in the movies.

you couldn't bring yourself to tell her when you and max had broken up. your whole life has always been surrounded by being told you needed to be more like your older sister, the pressure of being a golden child laid on you. for once you had something, but that had to get ruined as well.

the scolding, the perfect grades, friends, hell even family. you had to be so careful and live up to their expectations. you loved them, you did, but at times you just felt like moving away was the best idea. and you did just that, the first to move out to a new country, breaking records at uni, and even finding a suitable job.

your boss loved you, and coworkers admired you for the passion and dedication you carried. so why did it have to go all wrong with max? you had an image of him in your head that he was madly in love with you, though you'd later be proven wrong when you found out he was sleeping with his boss. finding them in the act on your 6th month anniversary.

you still can recall the feeling of being unable to breathe, their screams and his pleading going quiet as you could just stare into the room, not once being able to see his eyes. disgust, and rage, but mostly sadness, a heavy heart, and the lump in your throat. he hurt you terribly and you would forever resent that.

after the call, you sat quietly on the couch, hands in your hair as you thought about everything. looking around seeing your bags packed, the blue dress hanging by your room, pictures everywhere. you hated to admit but you were living in a hell, life messy and a disaster. your buzz ringed, seeing through the tiny camera your best friend jude in the frame.

you allowed him in, walking over to the large mirror and wiping away the dry tears, making yourself look more presentable. you looked worn out, eyes droopy and low, lips slightly chapped, and to make matters worse a zit on your chin. you exhaled a breath, keys jiggling as jude came in.

he set his training bag down, took his shoes off, and walked to you, giving you a small hug. "you look terrible," you gave him a warning look, "but lucky you, i brought us food," he spoke cheerfully, the mood inside you going from gloomy to content. "it's raining like crazy, i almost fell coming up. also i brought some packages and your mail," jude continued.

"thank you, i haven't had the time to go down and pick them up! i've been so busy packing and planning last-minute stuff," you groaned, going to the kitchen and washing your hands. "watch, in the next few minutes i'm going to get a call," you theorized. jude pulled out the food and served it into your plates as you grabbed a water for him and a soda for yourself.

"how was training?"

jude shrugged unimpressed, "same old. didn't really have to go in, but they needed me for a small campaign shoot, so i had no choice. also cama and tchou send their hello's."

you and jude spoke amongst yourself. just about each other's days and catching up from the last time you guys were together. you teased him about losing a bet with his little brother, jude whining about how he cheated. new music that came out, and a pop up store that opened lower in downtown.

"so what's got your head in a twist?" jude sipped on his last few ounces of water, leaning his head on his propped-up arm and hand. you awkwardly scratch the back of your neck, pick up the dirty dishes, and walk to the sink. "okay don't make fun of me-"

"you're basically asking me too... also no promises since you just made fun of me for losing against jobe," jude chuckled.

"jude."

"oh it's serious then... what did you do?" he saw the serious look on your face, a small worry constructing in his chest because he rarely saw you like this. you close your eyes, feeling the anxiety build in you once again, "i told my mom i was still bringing max..."

jude scoffed in denial, or trying to cope with the confusion, "y/n, you what?"

"i know! i know! i should've just confessed and coughed up the truth but i- i couldn't! she was so excited jude! i feel terrible for lying believe me i do, but after telling her about him and filling her with hope to break her heart, i just c-c-couldn't," you ramble, dishes clattering as you freaked out.

in your head it didn't seem as bad, but fully saying it out loud to jude, seemed even worse. jude grimaced, knowing you had messed up bad especially since the wedding was right around the corner. "i'm just embarrassed... i know they will start something and just talk down on me if i showed up alone."

jude knew how heavy-handed your family could be, often wanting to resent them because he cared for you so much. he saw how physically and mentally they could rain you even with the smallest sentence. they seemed so worried with their lives instead of the ones they should most value and care for.

jude gave you a concerned face, "what?" chuckling nervously when you gasped out, almost being able to see the lit-up light bulb on top of your head. "jude, I'm a genius!"

"well i beg to differ-"

"shut up," you pat your finger against your chin, a mischievous smile on your lip taunting jude's concern even more. "i don't know why i didn't think of this sooner! why don't you pretend to be my boyfriend? just for the wedding that's it!"

jude shook his head, hands coming up to back out of the idea. it was one thing you lying, but now asking you to play pretend was something totally different. "that's not a good idea y/n..." jude clenched his teeth forcing a smile. "oh cmon why not?"

"well, first of all, that's an even bigger lie to your mom. second, pretending would seem impossible. third, i don't want the first time meeting your parents to be a lie because of what happened," jude defended and stated his case.

"it's a huge favor but you'd save my life jude! one weekend and that's it! you have plenty of suits, you're also off this weekend, and they would never suspect a thing! please jude! i wouldn't be asking if i wasn't so desperate," you begged, seeing the hesitation in his eyes.

"it seems like a bad idea... you don't know what you're asking for y/n... were pretending to be a couple when were not! we have to make it believable even under the pressure of the wedding. a theatrical play, a stunt!" jude exclaimed standing up from his chair.

"jude please, please, please! it might feel weird but it's for the night only! after that, we go back to the good old y/n and jude," you followed him as he paced in your living room thinking of his answer. would it be back to normal even if he continued to feel the same for you? the unknown loving feeling he had for you?

the pretending would be hard when all he could hardly think of was you. how he felt recently and how nervous he got around you. he would do anything for you in a heartbeat, but this would break jude further than now. he couldn't fake pretend holding your hand, or kissing your cheek when he meant and wanted to do that with you currently.

as bad as the idea was, here he was hugging you as you cheerfully yelped when he agreed. time moved slowly for him, the sensation of regret and curiosity as what was yet to come from both of you. all he cared for was to make sure you were happy, and if faking being your boyfriend would help you, he was willing to do it, no matter the consequences.

as jude was fixing his hair, you finished setting your makeup with some powder and setting spray. nerves bubbling in you after the first test you encountered last night after your arrival. you let out a laugh at the tiny bed you had to share with jude. seeing his uneasy face even after he offered to sleep on the couch.

"we're running on schedule," you spoke, finishing clasping your jewelry around your hands and rings. jude came behind you, his shirt unbuttoned and abs in full view, as he finished zipping his pants. best friend or not, there was no denying how incredibly sexy jude was. the name should speak for itself, but with the looks and personality he had, it was too good to be true.

"need some help?" he asked seeing you nod slowly and looking down at your feet. he took the necklace, your skin on fire as his fingertips grazed your skin accidentally, almost jumping on the spot, goosebumps grazing your body. he clasped the necklace, grabbing the pendent and fixing it so it laid in the middle. "perfect," he cockliy smirked.

"thank you."

"are you almost ready?" he looked at you as he buttoned up his shirt, you almost stuttered but regained consciousness, "yes, just need to put my dress and shoes on," you turned back quickly furrowing your brows, wanting to slap yourself for allowing yourself to get carried away, or maybe at the uneasy desire in you when seeing jude.

you went to the bathroom, grabbing the lacy undergarments and the blue dress. the color was to die for, the perfect length even with your heels on, the opened back with the front just showing the perfect amount of cleavage, and the whole dress just accentuating your body even more.

you felt the need to throw some water in your face though you couldn't or else it would ruin your makeup. you settled with fanning yourself with your hand, the tense in your chest getting to you as it was becoming real now. you were just pretending with jude. nothing more right?

you looked in the huge light-up mirror, and suddenly the confidence you had dripped away as you thought of jude in the next room over. why did all of a sudden everything feel like it wasn't before? as in, things changed drastically since the night at your apartment? you've never felt this clumsy or as edgy around him.

when you woke up this morning, with jude on top of you laying peacefully, you couldn't help but feel overjoyed, as if it was a natural state and you've done it before. in your own world where the only thing that mattered was him and you. since then you were slightly freaked out, butterflies in your chest when he left or walk into the room.

jude double taked a look as you walked into the room again. the tiny room that felt like a joke to him after walking in hand to hand last night. his eyes roamed you, lips slightly separated as he admired your beauty, heart hammering in his chest. he watched as you grabbed your cheeks, immediately offering to help.

he leaned down, gently grabbing your foot and placing the white jeweled heel on you. your hands were clamped around the small bench cushions, jude looking up then and there to make sure they felt comfortable. once again, his touch felt like fire, playing with your head even more.

when he finished clasping the heel, he extended his hand helping you up. "you look absolutely gorgeous y/n... this dress was made for you," jude croaked, hearing you laugh shakily. "thank you jude. likewise," jude smiled at your reaction, "i mean as in you look super handsome with the suit, not a dress!" you explained.

"i think i got what you meant..." he joked, his eyes roaming uo and down again at you. "good. good. shall we head out?" you swallowed heavily, grabbing your purse, phone, and other stuff you needed for the night. you were in a rush, wanting to get some fresh air or you would explode in the room with jude inside. "lead the way y/n."

jude helped you in an out of the cab, his hand on your bare back as he guided you to the double doors leading into the reception. "how are you feeling? any nerves?" you spoke quietly to him, looking around as people were taking their seats or had their own conversations.

"some but not too many. like you said, it's just for today," he whispered along your ear, gently giving your shoulder a kiss as his hands went to your hips and walked you forward. your mom and aunt gasped, grabbing their dresses and walking towards you, almost sprinting. "here goes nothing," you say.

"oh my god! so you are real!" your mom yelped, making you give her a glare and eyes pleading not to make a scene. "i was starting to think my sweet y/n was lying to me about this boyfriend she had," you almost choked on your saliva, clearing your throat at her words. "i am y/n's mom, what is your name?"

"i'm jude. it's a pleasure to finally meet you ma'am," jude shook her hand and leaned down to kiss her cheeks in a greeting manner, the same with your aunt. jude's hand interlocked with yours, the happiness in your mother's eyes never leaving, almost tearing up at the sight of you with your "boyfriend."

"i can't believe it! it's a miracle, my daughter finally has her first boyfriend," she clapped her hands making you wretched at her choice of wording. you did everything to have her at least praise you once in life, and all it took was to have a boyfriend? you brushed away the glum feeling, jude kissing your hand, distracting you from the small burn in your eyes.

"oh my! look at them! they make such a beautiful pair," your aunt gleamed. "we do, don't we?" jude teased them, "took her a while to say yes to me, but i'm very fortunate to be here," jude resumed. "we're very pleased to have you here, anything you need don't hesitate to ask."

after saying hello to other family friends and cousins, you sat for the ceremony. jude wiped a small tear away after your old school friend finished her vows, slapping his shoulder when he made a small joke about your mascara running. "its not funny! the vows were so beautiful," you said.

"it's like we are watching me before you again," he said making you gasp. "jude what are talking about? you literally cried with me?" you recalled laughing, jude looking around scared if someone was hearing you. "please don't remind me... in my defense, i didn't see that ending at all."

after the ceremony, you and jude greeted other families, and most importantly congratulated the bride and groom. their faces ushered with happiness, overall content with how their day was turning out. you had to excuse yourself from jude at one point, your mom dragging you away for your help. jude was left behind with your dad.

"since she was little, she always hated getting thrown or dragged around," your father spoke, taking a sip of his whiskey. "seems like nothing had changed?" jude asked carefully with a playful smile. "oh not even close! it's my wife doing," he winked.

"jude right?"

"yes sir," jude nodded, presenting the dad talk coming up. "I'm gonna save the unnecessary talk and get straight to the point. it's so weird to see my baby girl all grown up, with the lusting and loving eyes she gives you. you love her very much and i can see that which is why i'm not worried about you hurting or losing her trust."

hell if jude didn't feel guilty before, he did now. he gripped the glass harder, nodding to your dad who looked upset. "she may have told you some stuff about us, but at the end of the day, she's my daughter and i love her the way she is... please just take good care of her for me... she been through enough as it is..."

"i only have good intentions and i promise you i won't ever break her heart," jude promised to your dad, but also himself. he would never be able to forgive himself if he ever did break your heart or make you lose the trust you had. max did it once and jude would never do it. even if it meant keeping away these long feelings for you.

when you returned you saw them laughing and chatting away, your heart full of emotions at them getting along. jude was so mature for his age, and it didn't come to a surprise when he got along with your dad so fast. his hand would naturally lay on your back or on your hip.

the next few hours were filled with more people dancing or chatting away. jude insisting you sat on his lap for a picture when the photographer passed, smiling wide, looking like a happy couple. it seemed so natural to you, being this close and intimate you were getting scared at how fast everything was being thrown at you.

"i had to see it for myself! y/n bagging a footballer? never saw that coming," your cousin approached you giving you a high as he dabbed up jude. "jude meet my cousin adrian, he's a huge fan of you, and just successfully signed with a small club," you introduced them to each other, with a huge grin on your face.

jude’s hand snuck around your waist, his thumb drawing shapes as his full attention was with your cousin who spoke about sports. you listened then and there, but your feet began to ache, switching your weight back and forth uncomfortably.

jude was quick to notice, leaving down to your level and asking if you were okay. “i’m fine i promise, these shoes are killing me that’s all,” you reassured with a smile, jude nodding before cutting the conversation after a few minutes. “i’m going to get her a chair and drinks for us,” you froze when he kissed your temple, “i’ll see you around later,” jude said his goodbyes dragging you along slowly.

like before, your chest beat faster, if he stared, smiled, even touched or got near you, you’d get nervous immediately. the familiar string of falling for someone filling the empty space left behind inside you. he was super good at pretending and it didn’t feel like that anymore.

it felt real. was he just pretending? or was he actually taking this fake relationship seriously and real?

all you could do was stare at his face, mostly his gorgeous brown eyes as he helped you get seated and served you some water, making sure you were fully okay. he sat next to you, his hand interlocking with his, and placing it on his lap as he paid attention to his surroundings. you become quiet, so into your head and questioning his every move now.

“jude?” you spoke softly, a confused smile on your face as he immediately turned to you with a soften gaze. you inhaled a breath, unable to look away from him, his ínstese state causing you to feel intimidated. “is everything okay?” he asked, leaning slightly over to you, pushing a small string of hair back. “is it supposed to feel like this?”

“what is?” jude shook his head not understanding.

“us? why am i getting the idea we’re no longer pretending…”

jude tore his gaze from yours, the panic growing more intense when he wouldn't reply back. "jude please... don't push me away. are we just pretending or has something changed?" you persisted, your hand gliding against his back to get his attention. jude debated, afraid of losing you right here and now, or having the possibility to maybe hear you feel the same way.

"come with me," jude demanded, helping your and dragging you to the dance floor where no one could really see you besides the other happy couples. his hands circled your waist, as yours went to his shoulders, unable to look away from him. "tell me i'm not the only one who feels it..."

"tell me what you feel y/n... what your head is begging to scream out..."

"i can't, i don't know jude. i'm afraid yet so confused? since we got here yesterday things feel different between us. it happened again when we had breakfast, when you put my necklace on, my heels! all of this is giving me mixed signals jude... i haven't felt this in so long.." you confess, a shaky breath escaping your lips when he pulls you closer and kisses your head.

"like now. i can't if you just did that out of pretending or because it came naturally to you. i've never had to worry about what you think till recently... it feels strange... yet ican't help but get hope that it means real," you rest your forehead on his shoulder blinking away the tears that slowly begin to let out.

jude could see how this was affecting you, holding your lower body with one hand and the other smoothing down your spine, feeling how you immediately let loose and relaxed by his praise and touch. jude could also feel the heavy weight beginning to feel heavier if he kept his true hidden feelings away. it was a sign, and there was no going back.

jude's hand cradled your chin, forcing you to look up at his, his brown eyes gazing over your teary face. he was truly amazed and so in love with you it made his head feel cloudy, almost dizzy, at how perfect and pure you were. his tummy fluttering at his gorgeous girl who was confused at how she felt... but in this moment jude knew you were in deep as well.

"tell me something, when you see me, does it make your heart race, like i'm the only person standing there?" you nod, "does your head tell you one thing but your gut tells you another when you see me?" you nod again, this time blowing the air out of jude's lungs. "my head tells me i shouldn't, but my gut tells me i waited so long that maybe it's now to late for us..."

"why would it be too late y/n...?" you shrug your shoulders. "because i don't you feel the same way i'm feeling." jude smiled weakly, his thumb brushing along your jaw, hearing your hum in delight, "how can you know when you haven't asked me?"

your eyes search his for any sign but you don't find any, "what are you feel in this moment jude?"

"that i'm the luckiest man to be here with you tonight," he says proudly, "that i don't think we've wasted any time, rather i feel we're barely getting started on this new branch of our lives... i can't pretend when i'm with you... because pretending to hide how i feel has been so hard, when all i want is you. all of you y/n..."

"i had to see you go through that idiot max, how he hurt you? when you were hurt i was even more devastated because i couldn't protect you. i'd do anything to make you happy or laugh because it's what i want to do. i want to be the only one who gets to do that. i promised your dad but myself also, ask me what the promise is..." jude insisted.

"what's your promise jude?"

"that i'd never break your heart or give you a reason to doubt me. that from this day forward, i completely will give you my all to care and relish our love once and for all. i'm tired of waiting and holding back of what should've existed and started when i first met you."

"jude-"

"i want to give you my all, to be devoted and in love with you forever. you have no idea what you make me feel, think! i wake up longing for you, at work, at my own home. you're the only girl i want and need in my life y/n," jude confessed, the weight finally lifted of his shoulders, now being able to feel like a free man.

you closed your eyes, breathing out a happy chuckle in relief. you sniffled, "you've ruined me jude, completely ruined me with your words, your confession! look at me, i'm worse than when we finished watching the vow!" you joked, hand nestling on the nape of his next, stroking his soft skin.

"you love me jude?"

"more than what you think."

"i need you to know i'm giving you my all as well. I've always sensed how different what we had was, and come to find out, i was just scared and felt the need to push away because you didn't feel the same way. what i feel for you never happened with who shall not be named..." jude chuckles, closing his eyes and swallowing a heavy gulp like you.

"i'm so hopelessly in love with you jude bellingham... so in love, i want to grow old with you, make every promise we said out loud come true. i knew i loved you as soon as we laid eyes, and you stumbled over your words," jude squinted his eyes, shaking his head embarrassed. "kiss me jude."

jude kissed you exactly how he dreamed. your lips soft and sweet as he imagined, even better. cradling your chin to tilt and pulling the kiss deeper. it felt so right, so amazing, so passionate. he was lost, his tongue entering your parted lips when you let out a small gasp and whimper. there was no more pretending, this was more real than ever.

"could get lost in how you taste. how you feel. i love you so much angel."

[ao3-shenanigans]

I need to say this, but I'm afraid of offending the person who made this pop into my head:

Make sure it's okay before you give a prompt or make a request to your writers!

If your writer says 'No' to something for any reason, do not push it

Do not demand your prompt/request to be answered!

I love getting requests and working with prompts here on Tumblr. It's a lot of fun and it expands my horizons, so to speak. However, I don't advertise this because I'm already working on a lot of projects in several places.

I have my set boundaries and preferences, and I will let you know if your request/prompt pushes too far past those. I can confidently say all writers have lines they won't cross and that they'll let ya know if you try to push them over those lines.

(I had a point with this...)

We write for fun. We write because we like to.

Now, I'm not trying to speak for everyone, but I can assure you that I speak for myself here when I say that being pushy and demanding is only going to get you blocked and/or discourage me from writing.

(again, I had a point, but I've lost it...)

That's all I have to say right now

(Sorry for dropping this here. Someone wasn't listening to me in my DMs and I really didn't want the fallout of them seeing me say this immediately after I finished talking with them. I've got it sorted now, but I figured a PSA would be a good thing for people new to fandom spaces like this) (though, I thought all of these could go unsaid and be understood...)

Good point! Listen to an artist’s boundaries- your favorite author, artist, musician is, at the end of the day, a person.

Respect everyone’s boundaries, obviously, but in particular, in this space, make sure you’re respecting your creatives

[oddballwriter]

Puppy Love

Summary: Jake asks if you want a puppy, you think he's joking, but now you and the boys actually have a puppy.

Warnings: Nothing really. Just a little blurb about you and the boys getting a fur baby. 

Author’s Snip: My and my family recently got two puppies, pugs, and idk I just thought of this.

Notes: I believe and support "adopt, don't shop". Always make sure you do research and look into where you get your pets if you want one to make sure you aren't buying from mills. Also, please look into rescues and fosters too, they deserve a chance at getting happy homes. Okay my PSA is over. 

I’ll shut up now. Enjoy! And don’t be afraid to request.

Word Count: 758

When Jake asked you "Do you want a puppy?", you thought it was a joke, and you laughed, but when he looked up at you from his phone on his place on the couch you felt like maybe it wasn't. "Are you serious?" you question.

Jake turns his phone so that you can see the screen, revealing a picture of a large litter of what looked to be cocker spaniel puppies. "I know this guy. His girl's dog got out and got knocked up." Jake explained, "She popped out ten puppies and they want them out.". You look at the picture for a bit longer, maybe looking a little too softly at the litter since Jake asked if you want one.

"I don't know." you say, "What are the others thinking?" you ask. Judging off the smile Jake does, Marc and Steven have no idea about this. "Who cares. It's a puppy. Everyone likes puppies." Jake shrugs. "They won't be a puppy forever, Jake. And we live in a flat," you attempt to list off. Jake rolls his eyes, "I know. These dogs aren't that big though. It'll do fine. There are parks around, we can walk it around one of them." he explains. You think about it for a moment, not too sure what to say. Jake also picks up on that and says "Think about it.".

"I'll think about it and we tell the others about it." you say.

Marc wasn't too thrilled, but he also didn't really oppose it either. "It's a lot of work. We have to train it. And pay for vets and food and all that." and so on which Marc seemed to not like the sound of. "You were able to pay rent for a flat and a storage unit, Steven has a million books and trinkets, and Jake owns a bunch of cars. We all can sacrifice some money for them." you mention, and Marc acknowledged your point. "Okay. I'll think about it." he said.

Steven seemed more open, more focused on having the idea of having another pet than the price tag attached that had Marc on the fence. "It would be nice. Have a new addition. After all, the Gus' doesn't really do much other than swim around." is what he said about the idea. "We'd have to get one that's very calm though. So that we don't get a complaint about barking." he commented in a mutter.

And with that, and Marc letting up and going with the idea, you and Jake drove to his friend's place to meet the pups. On the way there Jake said to keep yourself together and not show any emotion because "He might want to get rid of them as quick as he can, but I'm sure he wants to make some good money while doing it.". It wasn't easy, but you managed to do good when interacting with them to see which one you wanted.

Going off of what each one of you wanted in your potential future dog you managed to find one that was more interested in sniffing and laying down on you than playing and running around like the rest of their siblings.

"That one doesn't do too much. He just lays around and chews on a toy every once in a while. The most I've seen him do is whine when he wants food and bite his siblings if they're trampling him." the guy says, "Good if you want something that just lays down with you." he remarks.

After some more talk, you decided that he was the one that you would take home. After Jake paid and the guy making a comment about getting the puppy fixed as soon as possible, the rest of the day was a long trip to the pet store to get everything he needed. Kibble, bowls, a bed, a collar, pads, a few toys, the whole lot. By the end of it, Jake's car was full of stuff and his pockets less full than when he left.

"You owe us, beba." Jake smirked nudging you playfully. "Jake. Not in front of the baby." you scold back in the same humor making him laugh.

"So," Jake said, "What are we naming him?" he asked. You look at the little thing in your arms and think for a moment. "Jake Jr." you joke. Jake laughs and says no, and the joke goes on with suggesting Steven Jr. and Marc Jr. until you shrug and settle on figuring that out some other time.

[hockeyboysimagines]

Happy Birthday

Warnings-angst, fluff

At the rink/Brothers teammate/hurt-comfort/Love at first sight/Autumn birthday.

PSA I do not write for Ross Colton, but I did this for my bestie on her birthday! I can’t say enough good things about her. Thanks for being such a wonderful friend this year! I hope you have a great birthday🤍 Of you guys haven’t read her stuff you’ve been living under a rock. I hope this is everything you wanted!

Also, birthday girl got to pick the OC’s name🤍

Love you @cellythefloshie

“Make a wish!”

Ross grinned as he watched Gemma lean forward pushing her long hair back away from the candles and blew out a breath extinguishing the flames as everyone cheered around her. She caught his eyes and grinned as smoke furled from the burnt wicks of the candles and dissipated in the air.

God she gorgeous he thought in his head. He could never say that out loud to anyone.

And that meant ANYONE.

Ross had known Gemma Evans since he was a kid. Her brother, Jared was a longtime friend and teammate and growing up she’d always just been Jared’s little sister who’s room was down the hall. Until she turned 17. Ross had been away in Connecticut that November and for the first time had missed her birthday. He’d sent her a text and even a card and then had spoken with her sporadically during the rest of the season. When he’d come home, he’d been stunned to find that wasn’t Jared’s baby sister anymore. Like it was the first time he had seen her, he fell hard right there in her parent’s kitchen.

And that’s when his problems started.

Not only was it illogical for him to have feelings for one of his oldest friends younger sister, who he’d known since she was 3, but it also felt wrong. Like he was that weird older brothers friend creeping on his younger sister, the kind they always made fun of, but he couldn’t help it. She filled his brain day in and day out. No matter where he played, no matter who he dated, none of that mattered. She lived in every void in his brain. Over the course of the next few years he fluctuated between spending every chance he could near her and distancing himself. During the season it was easy to curb contact with her, but that didn’t mean he didn’t think about her. He could chalk up his absences and lack of contact to games and practice and whatever else he usually got up to during the season. But then he’d come home in the summers and she’d be there. Tan skin, long hair, bright white smile, and he couldn’t stay away from her. How Jared hadn’t noticed yet was beyond him but he was glad. That would be one awkward conversation to have.

And now he was here, watching her blow out the candles on her 25th birthday cake. By a stroke of luck, the Avs were in town to play the devils the following evening and even though her birthday wasn’t till next weekend, they’d made accommodations so Ross could be there for it this year. He hadn’t been around for a birthday in some time and it was nice to see his friends and some family. But as he’d glanced around the party he’d noticed someone was missing.

Dan, Gemma’s boyfriend, was nowhere to be found. He was alright, Ross didn’t want to hang out with the guy on the weekends or anything but he was okay. He’d never gotten any inclination that was unhappy or not being taken care of so he’d been friendly and cordial every time he’d been around him. It had sucked to see her with someone else, but as long as she seemed happy, Ross really couldn’t complain. He wasn’t making a move anytime soon, and realistically he knew she wouldn’t stay single forever. As long as he was nice to her that would be all that mattered. Jared however did not feel the same. He’d made an off handed comment once not long after Ross first met him that he didn’t like him, and never elaborated on why. Ross had always assumed it was just “overprotective big brother” but something nagged at him every time Dan came up in conversation. He’d asked Jared again the following summer and he just shrugged and said something felt off about him from the beginning and he still felt that way. He said Dan went out of his way to show what a good boyfriend was, and it all felt fake to him. Ross had been thinking about it since then and though he felt like it was partially bias, he agreed. Every time he’d been around Dan was always hugging her, kissing her, bragging about things he did or vacations they went on together. He was over compensating and it all felt like it was for show, and for a bit of time he even wondered if it was for his benefit. Jared might have been blind towards the affection Ross showed for Gemma, but maybe Dan wasnt. Maybe Jared had chalked it up to ��brotherly sisterly we’ve known eachother our whole lives affection”, but Dan saw him as a threat. Which was silly because Ross had always treated Gemma with respect and was never flirtatious when people were around. But he couldn’t change the way he looked at her. That would give his true feelings away every single time. He wondered now idly if that had anything to do with his absence. If Ross could make it while the season was in full swing, Dan had no excuse.

She by now, had made her way around the table with a large smile and hurried over to him.

“Happy Birthday!” He said as she wrapped her arms around his midsection and squeezed him.

“Thank you. Im so glad you could be here.” She had her head resting on his chest eyes closed. Her hands were gripping the material of the back of his shirt tightly. He wondered if she could feel how fast his heart was beating.

“I wouldn’t miss this one. Halfway to 50.”

She pinched his side and he jumped with a small laugh and shook his head “Kidding of course. Glad I could be here.”

“Me too. How long are you in town for?”

“Till tomorrow after the game. Then we play in Philly the next night.”

She nodded and glanced around “Let’s do something after this. If you want that is.”

“Sure.” He said, a little too fast, and then cleared his throat “What-uh like what?”

She glanced up in thought “I’ll let you think of something.”

He swallowed thickly, knowing full well what he’d like to do but he was sure that idea was off the table, so instead he said “Let’s go skate.”

She smiled and nodded “Deal.”

When Gemma was 5 and Ross was 7 he and Jared had taken her skating with them one day and instead of her sitting on the sidelines complaining about the cold, they stuffed her feet in skates and taught her how. She wasn’t very good, and by now was probably even worse than before, but he would help her through the whole thing if it meant he got to be that close to her and potentially hold her hand.

She was called away then by her friends but she paused and turned back to him “It really is so good to see you.”

He watched as she walked away with a little sigh.

“Dude.” Jared slapped him on the shoulder startling him and handed him a beer “Thanks for coming. It’s good to see you.”

They chatted for a few moments before he approached the subject because he was about to explode with curiosity “Hey uhm-where’s Dan?”

The smile slipped from Jared’s face slowly like rain drops running down glass. He glanced over his shoulder to make sure Gemma wasn’t close enough to hear him before he turned back to Ross.

“They broke up last month. It was pretty bad.”

Ross fought the smile that was trying desperately to spread across his face and pretended to look shocked “What? Why? I thought things were good with them.”

Jared pursed his lips “Me too but apparently not. You know I never liked him, but he obviously wasn’t going anywhere so I got along with him for her sake. She was supposed to move in with him in December. She had her stuff packed and everything and then he just broke up with her one day, blocked her number and that was it. She was crushed.”

“Really? What an asshole. I had no clue.”

“Tell me about it. I didn’t say anything cuz I felt like it wasn’t my business to tell, but he's lucky I haven’t seen him yet because when I do. Game on.” Jared made a pounding motion with his right fist on his left hand.

Ross chuckled and nodded “I’m sure he’s making himself scarce knowing your around looking for him.”

“You ain’t kidding. I haven’t seen him not one time. No idea where he’s at.”

“Out catching VD probably.” Ross said off handedly eyes moving back to Gemma who was talking with his mom.

Jared laughed and gave Ross a nudge “Probably. She’s been really down, so I figured seeing you would cheer her up. Glad you were able to make it this year.”

“Seeing me?”

Jared rolled his eyes “Yes you. Come on my sister loves you. Always has, and I think-“

“Jared get over here!” The turned to find Jared and Gemma’s dad, Rob waving his son over.

“Hang on-“

“Wait I-“ but he was already gone leaving Ross wondering what he was going to say.

I think….you like her.

I think….you should date here

I think….you guys would have cute kids.

Woah hang on he said to himself furrowing his eyebrows calm down. No need to get carried away, even if it was totally true.

He hadn’t even spoken his feelings out loud yet, and he was already planning their first date in his head now that he knew he had no competition. Not that he saw Dan as competition just 2 minutes ago because he had accepted the fact that he and Gemma could never be anything. But now it was fair game. He could feel his chest puffing up and his spirit start to soar as he held his head a little higher. By the time her gathering started to die down, she appeared in front of him with her skates and an extra pair for him.

“Ready?” She asked with a smile. She was bundled in a black coat, long hair hanging down the back. The walk was only 15 minutes, but he walked as slow as possible knowing that this may be the last time he saw her during the season. He had to make his move now, because by summer she could be with someone else.

“So what do you think?” She asked speaking out into the night and little puff of fog coming from her mouth as she spoke. It jarred him from his internal monologue and he turned to her.

“About what?” He knew what she was asking but he played dumb.

“Ross.” She said with a small smile “I know Jared told you.” her smile started to slip a little and Ross felt a sinking feeling. He hated seeing her so sad. Dan had better count his days.

He sighed and nodded “ Yeah he did. Im sorry, I didn’t know or I would have reached out.”

She shrugged “It’s okay Ross. No one knew. And besides it’s not like it’s your job to know every aspect of my life anymore.”

“No but I mean if I had know I could have helped or something, and no I don’t need to know but I want to know.”

She smiled and looked at her feet “Oh yeah? Helped how exactly? I can’t cry on your shoulder from here in New Jersey.”

“Hey.” He said holding a hand out “I give great advice…by phone.”

She rolled her eyes and bumped him with her elbow “I didn’t tell anyone cuz I was embarrassed.”

He frowned “Why should you be embarrassed. The guy sounds like an asshole. I never liked him.”

“That’s what Jared said. It was tough I’m not gonna lie. I’m okay now but I wasn’t for a while. I wish I at least had an explanation for why he did it though.” She said quietly.

Ross nodded and kicked a rock out of the way as he walked “You know that him doing that was just a shitty thing right. Like that wasn’t your fault.”

“I guess. I dont think it was him though I think it was me.”

“What?” Ross asked eyebrows furrowing “Why would you say that?”

“I don’t know. If it wasn’t me then why would he just suddenly decide he didn’t love me anymore.”

Ross felt something stab him in the heart and for a second she was back to being Jared’s little sister when he saw the sadness on her face. He hated that. In an hour a guy who he’d always though was decent was now at the very top of his hit list. If Dan played hockey, Ross would have grabbed him by the sweater and pounded him knowing he’d only get a 5 minute timeout. Unfortunately if he did that off skates, the penalty would be worse.

“Hey.” Ross reached a hand out and stopped her from walking “Don’t think for one second that had anything to do with you. That’s his problem. You are beautiful and smart, and the best girl I know and if he can’t see that then you don’t need him in your life.”

Surprise registered across her face as she spoke “You think I’m beautiful?”

“Uh.” He ran his teeth across his bottom lip and then smiled nervously “Yeah. I mean of course. Everyone does.” He continued walking not looking back to make sure she was behind him. He wanted to kick himself in his own ass for being so damn stupid, especially since he wasn’t smooth enough to play that off in a clever way that wouldn’t make him look like a complete loser.

He heard her behind him and breathed a sigh of relief when the outdoor rink came into view, saving him from exposing himself anymore than he already had.

The air was brisk as they silently laced their skates, and made their way to the ice. Ross stepped on and took off, taking a full lap to calm himself down before he slowed down to match her pace. She was moving along fairly quickly and he looked her up and down with a smile, impressed.

“Have you been practicing?”

She turned and shrugged “A little. Years of you making fun of me inspired me.”

“I never made fun-“

“Liar!” She said jabbing him in the chest with her finger knocking herself off balance a little. She started to tip forward and he caught her by the elbows, her hands coming up to grip his jacket. She looked up, eyes moving up his face slowly. He glanced down at her mouth, then back up to her eyes before he let go of her arms and took a step back. Despite the cold, he’d broken out in a sweat under his shirt, and his face felt like it was on fire, a deep blush then was creeping from his neck to his face hidden beneath the collar of his sweatshirt.

He cleared his throat “Well you’ve gotten much better.”

She didn’t say anything just smiled and they skated in comfortable silence until he felt her hand brush his as she reached out to hold it. He froze a second, before he gripped her fingers back and glanced at her.

She was smiling “So how long have you thought I was beautiful.” She asked side eyeing him.

He chuckled and rolled his eyes, thankful that the dark was hiding the redness in his face that hadn’t gone away yet “I don’t know. A while.” he tried to play it off like it was no big thing but Gemma knew him better than that.

“A while…Really?”

He nodded “Really.”

She looked deep in thought before she spoke again “But like how long? Why didn’t you say anything before. Why are you saying it now?”

“Like in terms of years? A long time. And I don’t know really. Just didn’t feel like keeping it to myself anymore. It’s been in there long enough.” He pointed to his head and made eye contact with her for the first time. She was staring straight through his soul, looking at him like she never had before.

She twitched her mouth back a forth as she fought a smile and looked back down at her skates, a redness pooling in her cheeks “Do you think it was me that made him want to leave? I mean is there something wrong with me?”

“No.” He said without a moment’s hesitation “I think he didn’t appreciate you like he should have. Anyone who treats you that way doesn’t deserve you. And even then I’m not sure anyone deserves you.”

She looked up slowly “What do you mean.”

“I just think that.” He paused trying to find the words without being too obvious “That your too good for most guys out there.”

She turned her head to the side and gave a short small smile before it faded again “Well I appreciate that but you don’t have to keep complimenting me to make me feel better.”

“I-what?” He frowned and peered down at her.

“I mean it’s okay really. I love that your being so supportive but I’ll be fine-“

“Wait wait wait hold on.” He waved his hand to silence her “I’m not just saying that to make you feel better Gemma, I mean that.”

She looked unsure and tucked a strand of hair behind her ear “Really?”

He nodded and let out a breath, steam filling the air “Of course it’s true. I’ve-I’ve always felt that way.”

“Then why have you never said anything?”

“Because I was your older brothers best friend. I didn’t want to be that guy. We used to beat up those guys. But I’ve always thought that about you. And then Dan came around and I figured that was my last opportunity out the window so I backed off. I just-“

But his rambling was cut off by her taking a giant step forward and smacking her lips against his hard before she jumped back and covered her mouth.

He put a hand up to his lip and then glanced up at her “Ow.”

“Sorry I- oh god sorry.” She was shaking her head mortified, hands over her mouth. She looked so damn cute standing there in front of him eyes wide, cheeks and nose red with a look of anticipation. She was trying to gauge whether he was annoyed or grossed out when he was neither.

He looked at his hand, then her and shrugged and taking a small glide forward “Don’t apologize.” He said softly.

She tucked a strand of hair nervously behind her ear, completely embarrassed that she’d nearly broke all his teeth by trying to kiss him “I just have only kissed one boy before so I have no idea what I’m doing, did I hurt you? Are you bleeding-“

He was smiling and chuckled “I’m fine.” He reached a hand out and gripped the front of her jacket, pulling her closer slowly “Are you okay?”

“I’m-I’m okay. Wait what are you-?” She was looking at him confused as she came to a stop in front of him.

“You said you kissed one boy before, and that’s the problem. He obviously didn’t know anything about kissing.” He reached a hand up to push her hair hair off her cheek and rested his hand there across her jaw and neck, pulling her face closer to his, thumb stroking across her cold cheek as he leaned down, and pushed his lips sweetly against her own, eyes closing. They rested there a minute before he moved them, and Gemma felt her world flip sideways. Kissing Ross wasn’t like kissing Dan. His hands knotted in her hair that was stuck in the collar of her jacket and he pulled her flush against him as he pulled away and came in at a different angle, tongue sweeping across her lower lip slowly. Goosebumps bloomed across her skin as they stood there kissing under the moon.

When he pulled away she let her eyes flutter open to find him staring at her. He smiled slowly and let out a breath.

“That’s how you should be kissed, always.”

She tried to speak but the words never came as she reached up and wrapped her arms around his neck, pushing her face closer to his, brushing his with her own.

“Happy Birthday Gemma.” He whispered.

And then he kissed her again.

[demonictumble]

fic rec list (1/??? )

this is a fic recommendation list for whomever wants a good read. All of these are on AO3. I have not provided links, so just search them up!

If you do end up reading any of these, or really any fic in general, remember to leave the author comments!! They deserve them, esp because they do this for free and they deserve to know how beautiful their writing is and how appreciated they are.

My PSA: COMMENT ON FICS AND DONT TAKE AUTHORS FOR GRANTED

DC..

IMPORTANT NOTE I am not a religious fan where I only like a fic when it adheres to canon characterization or texts. I can enjoy fics even when they completely throw off what's actually canon and that's okay for me, but it might not be for you. So just keep this in mind and the back button exists for a reason if you don't like something.

Buy Back the Secrets by Sundiscus (incomplete)

Tim Drake and Kon El centered!! OH MY GODS. I could rave on and on about this fic all day but I'll have to keep it brief. I've reread at LEAST 5 times. It's brilliant. The writing, the plot, the characterizations!! They are incredible. If I had to use a phrase to describe it, it would be "identity shenanigans and timkon" but that simplifies the absolute masterpiece that it is SO MUCH

Executive Assistant to the Batman by heartslogos (complete)

Tim is basically Bruce Wayne's assistant and is desperately trying to avoid letting them know that he knows. This is complete crack, but it is hilarious. The writing is so funny and It's what I need after a bad day or anything tbh. It may not be completely true to characters or whatever, but it makes up for it a thousand times over in spirit and the laughs it's produced from me.

anything (not the title because literally ANYTHING) by IzzyMRDB

I can rave about them all day because the dc/batfam fics I have seen them right are all so delicious and I devoured them far too fast and momggg its just so good. and I love their writing style <3

Reverse Robin AU by yellow_cabellero (complete)

I CANNOT DO THIS SERIES JUSTICE WITH MY WORDS. IT is a must read for me. The writer writes spectacularly and the characterization, even though its a reverse robin, feels on point, especially considering the circumstances (Im a huge believer in circumstances shape a person's personality, which is what I think occurs beautifully in all of these fics). They're just so GOOD.

Also this author has a STEPH FIC that is stunning. 10/10. Steph is a character that doesn't get the appreciation she deserves, so this fic was especially more touching for me. It was terrific seeing her girl bossing in the 90s (IT ALSO FELT SO PERIOD ACCURATE CAN WE TALK ABOUT THAT). Not to mention, the author shows off character flaws in a believable manner and nobody is a Mary Sue and it's just EVERYUTHING IS JUST *chefs kiss* by them.

The Fishbowl by LordLuxury (complete)

This is Dick Grayson centered. THEY HAVE MADE A MASTERPIECE. I genuinely mean it. Dick is constantly trying to pull the family together, he is trying to be the glue as everything tries to go the opposite. LET THIS MAN HAVE HIS FAMILY. This had me in shambles. Bad Dad Bruce hurt me, but it was just so realistic. That's what gets me. The whole dynamics portrayed in The Fishbowl are so goddamn realistic and it feels so real. Everyone is flawed in their own way and its just... PLEASE READ IT I BEG OF YOU.

Love and Bruises by Acin_Grayson and Hoebiwan (complete)

Despite what the title may suggest, this is actually funny! Jason thinks Batman is abusing Bruce. And I just remember dying of laughter as I read this. Terrific! Would read and Will read again

Marvel (I am a movies fan so most if not all fics I recommend from here on out will be probably based on movies!)

Tennessee Outreach for Spider-Man and Friends by ciaconna

GREAT FIC. Harley (potato gun kid in one of the iron man movies for those who don't remember) gets an internship with Tony stark for college application reasons and its to help Spiderman. Peter Parker and Harley whateverhislastname is such a funny duo and they made the fic spectacular. Terrific writing omg.

Peter and the Jailbirds by beautifullights

I THINK THIS FIC HURT ME. I don't really remember much bc its been a year and a half, but I think my emotions remember because I feel mildly sad when I think about it. Peter is on the raft and bonds with the ex-avengers also on the raft. The premise of a teenager possibly spending the rest of his life in prison is terrible, but I swear this fic has funny moments and the conversations that occur are to die for because the WRITING. WHEW.

O Brother, Where Art Thou? by theskeptileptic

Tony survives and it's set after No Way Home. Where I'm pretty sure the only people dead are May and Pepper. Morgan saves the day by remembering her big brother (Im a sucker for big brother Peter arc). Peter is kind of a mini Tony in this one I think, which is such an interesting take. And it's such a coming home story and its just so beautiful.

Cross Overs:

Even Heroes Have the Right To Dream by Bounemr (complete)

mlb/dc crossover!! where marinate and Jon are retired superhero and go to college together! Great writing and plot with a good ending. Fluffy for the most part as far I as I can remember (it's been a year since I've read it so you know it's good if I can still remember)

Hired Hands by neighborhood_yogurt (incomplete)

Percy Jackson/ DC crossover!! It's been a while since I've read this one too but It's stuck with me. It's hilarious and I need to reread it but Percy is accidentally on Penguin's payroll because he's just a dumb blonde at heart, but it's okay we all love him. And Shenanigans occur. I don't remember exactly what happens so reminder to read this again for myself as well!

(IDK if any of these authors have tumblrs, if they do, someone please tag them and I will forever be in your debt)

[ellecdc]

babe I ABSOLUTELY DO NOT MEAN TO PRESSURE YOU BUT IM GOING FERAL WAITING FOR THE NEXT PART OF AMWAP CAN WE GET A LITTLE SNIPPET IF YOUVE WRITTEN SMTH 🥺

ALSO ALSO I LOVE ALL OF THE NEW WORKS YOUVE PUT OUT I WAS DEAD ON TUMBLR FOR LIKE THREE MONTHS AHHHHHHH YOURE SO CREATIVE AND TALENTED GOD BLESS YOU AHHH

Also can I see birdie 🥺

Ok I will say yes (to both) but then I’m gonna post a little AMWAP psa if that’s okay ���️‍🩹

I am honestly so honoured and grateful that so many people have become as invested in AMWAP as they are - I think that’s honestly both the highest praise and the biggest goal for any writer on this app. I’m admittedly in a tight spot right now and am working through personal things, but this fic in particular has been bothering me for a while which is why it is on a temporary hiatus. It has been on hiatus for a while and will remain on hiatus until it’s complete.

As grateful as I am that everyone loves it so much, I haven’t been enjoying writing it lately which then concerns me when I have written something because I honestly cannot tell if it’s good - that being said, it causes me a lot of anxiety to receive asks about it because I’m horrified at the idea of disappointing you all (this isn’t about you, anon, I get asked about AMWAP a LOT) and it makes me want to trash the whole thing because I’d honestly rather not write it at all than ruin something beautiful that people love

So, I am working on it. I have it mapped out in my head, and I will eventually write it, but I ask if perhaps we can refrain from asking for updates/when i think i might post the next part because it honestly makes me nauseous

I feel like an absolute ass even setting this boundary and I really hope I don’t offend anyone - I’m struggling emotionally, August is a very hard month for me with a traumatic anniversary approaching, and there has been family drama for me recently with people popping up from my past, so please be patient with me

Thank you all for your understanding, and here is birdie as promised with her bandana of the day ❤️‍🩹

Thank you for your sweet words and praises, and thank you all for being here with me 🫶

[phlurrii]

Good and Bad News

1am post because my hands are on fire, but we have 5 panels left of the new comic. I think this is one of my largest updates. I’ve taken an excruciating long time as I keep redrawing things to make them look better and improve overall quality.

This is a concept I’ve had sketched for months and cooking for even longer, I’m so, SO happy to get it out. It also really demonstrates Meau’s current mental state towards situations and how she’s coping on the inside the moment she’s faced with it again. Even if supposedly harmless.

I’m really proud of this update and I think I’m gonna end up redrawing a 1 or 2 more aspects of older panels to make the quality more cohesive even still.

However, the bad news is the amount of time this has taken because of said quality. There was suppose to be 2 massive updates this month, but due to getting sick last month for a whole week and deciding to really make this one look pretty…

Noe’s Arc probably won’t be until Christmas Day or late December as a whole. Possibly even early January, but I will fight myself to get it out before then.

I am, probably, the most disappointed out of everyone, given the sheer insanity I have planned. However, I want to make sure the build up to it is executed perfectly. So when we get to it, it all hits that much harder and destroys your day that much more ;D

Currently, the road map is this first massive update, the second shorter, but emotional hitting update, before we get to this arcs climax Animatic. After that, we’ll get the premiere for Missingno.’s Arc and boy howdy will it be a doozy in and of itself that includes voice acting, music, and a questionable edited motion comic for the big reveal portion.

I promise ya’ll this will be worth the agonizing wait, I’ve been planning this for so long I will be damned if I mess it up now X3

Okay thank you, that’s been my PSA ;3

[jungkookslipring]

I Will Never Make You Lonely: CH 7

Summary: When your life is falling apart, your 8 best friends are there to lift you up

TW: mentions of de&th, su!c!de, su!c!de tendencies, su!c!dal ideologies, depress!on, anxiety, crying. If this is in any way triggering I’d steer towards more of my happier works. 

If you or someone you love has thought of or acted on suicide, there is help and there is hope 

Call or text 988

Genre: angst, hurt/comfort, non-idol AU

PSA: this is no way represents the artists. While their birth names are used in this story, the story is fiction and this is in no way a reflection of the artist or artists in real life.

It was definitely a “fuck it we ball” type of move, but now that you had more of an understanding of your topic, especially now that you have lived it, you were able to write a stronger paper.

You weren't sure if you would get a good grade, but you completed the task and felt proud of yourself. Since the day at the beach, your days seemed more manageable. You felt more human, smiled more often, and didn't have to pretend to be happy every day at school. However, healing is not always linear. Some days, it was almost impossible to get out of bed, while other days you were up early cooking breakfast for everyone because you were in a good mood. Grief is an unusual concept, but you were managing.

One afternoon, while browsing your computer, you were looking for an outfit to wear to your graduation. Suddenly, you felt a strong urge to read what Carter had written. You weren't sure if Peyton still had the letter, but you decided to ask her anyway. You sat up in bed and texted her, requesting to see the letter. Although you weren't sure about her response, you didn't think Peyton would say no. And in less than five minutes, she sent you a picture of the letter, showing both the front and back.

‘Fuck’

You were feeling a bit suffocated in your room, so you decided to step out and get some fresh air in the living room. Right on cue, Hyunjin, Han, Seungmin, and Felix walked in from university. As soon as they saw you, their expressions changed from cheerful to worried.

“Y/n, are you okay?” Han asked as you gripped your phone with two hands. Your knuckles were turning white as you sat on the arm rest of the couch. Minho, Changbin, and Jeongin walked out of Minho’s room, their movie still playing in the background. You looked at them as your hands shook.

“Peyton sent me a picture of the letter,” you said as realization hit them all. Hyunjin went up to you and put a hand on your shoulder. 

“Have you read it yet?” Jeongin asked. You looked up at him and shook your head, picking at your fingernails with your teeth. You looked a little green as well.

“Are you ready to read it? Don’t pressure yourself into anything if it’s too soon,” Hyunjin said kindly. You nodded. 

"I just need to get it over with," you sighed. Before the boys could ask if you wanted any privacy, you flipped over your phone and started reading. You paced back and forth as you read it. The boys decided to stay in the living room, frozen in place, and ready to be there if you needed them. Your heart was heavy as you read the words, everything she was feeling before she got in her car. It was a lot. Halfway through the letter, you started tearing up. You were biting your nails when you stopped pacing as you got closer to the end. Your heart sank when you read the date she wrote in the letter. You spoke to her on her last day, hours before the accident. Felix carefully took the device out of your hand and pulled you into his arms after you looked away from your phone. You took a deep breath and blinked back the moisture in your eyes.

“We’re here, we’re here y/n,” he said as Hyunjin took the phone from him, setting it on the counter. Felix swayed you both back and forth, holding you close, resting his temple on top of yours. The boys debated on looking at the letter, but they decided whatever was on your phone was private information unless you felt like sharing. 

“What are you thinking about, y/n?” Seungmin asked. You shook your head.

“I don’t know…I don’t know…” you sniffled looking back at your phone. You thought that reading the letter would give you some closure, but instead, you felt stuck. The repeated phrases "it's not your fault" and "grateful to have you" were somewhat reassuring, but the letter was like one of those immobilizing nightmares where you can't move and you're forced to watch something terrible happen. Han came up from behind you and hugged you while resting his head on your shoulder. You let out a shaky exhale and patted his head with your hand. No one knew what to say, so you both stood there in silence for a couple of minutes. Finally, you gathered yourself and slowly pulled away from the embrace.

“Is there anything we can do for you?” Minho asked. You shook your head, grinning a tiny bit when he gave you the “are you sure?” eyebrows. 

“I’m okay, I will be okay,” you said, semi-confident in your answer. Throughout the rest of the day, you all cooked dinner and talked about school, including how finals were going. You felt better discussing other topics as you genuinely wanted to talk about them rather than using them to mask what was going on in your mind. However, that evening you struggled to sleep, so you decided to catch up on some of the Netflix shows you had missed. You assumed everyone would be asleep, but there was one person who hadn't returned home yet - Chris. When you went to refill your water bottle, you heard the door click open. Chris trudged in with his hoodie covering his eyes, looking at the floor and sniffling. He didn't notice you until you whispered.

“Chris?” His head snapped up as he made direct eye contact. His eyes were red and a little glossy.

“Hey! What are you doing awake? He asked, trying to keep his voice at bay.

“What’s wrong?” You asked gently, immediately getting straight to the point. Chris couldn’t lie to you, but he did lower his gaze to the floor. You waited until he sniffed again.

“Seungmin let me know about the letter and how you read it today…” he cringed at the way his voice cracked. As you were going through one of the toughest times in your life, you noticed that Chris was deeply hurt. His eyes softened as he saw you struggling. He lost a lot of sleep worrying about you during these last couple of months. Watching your face become paler and your eyes grow duller hurt him. Trying his best to hold back tears, he stood still as you walked closer to him. You hugged him tightly, providing him with comfort and support. He couldn't help but cry, and you held him close as he sniffled into your shoulder.

“Oh Chris…no, please don’t cry…” you cooed. He took a few deep breaths before speaking.

“I’m sorry this happened to you. I’m sorry *sniff* I’m so sorry…I’m so sorry you’re hurting. *sniff* I just want to take it all away,” his voice wavered, sniffles and small small sobs in between words; he has the biggest heart.

“What you and the rest of the boys do for me is more than enough. Just because I’m grieving doesn’t mean I’ll never be okay.” you whisper as you scratch the back of his neck. “I know you want to take all the pain away honey, I do, but having you all by my side to either listen or hold me or just be there with me is more than enough,” you pouted when you felt tears on your neck. You pull back and cup his face, wiping the moisture away with your thumb.

“I'm going to be okay. I’m doing way better than I thought I would because of you all, okay?” You said, smiling at Chris. He nodded as he pulled his hands away and wrapped them around your wrists, as a silent reminder to himself that you were still here. You looked back at the stove clock.

“It's late, let’s get you to bed, yeah?” you say as you wipe the remaining tears from his cheeks. You walked him to his room and gave him a pat on the back before retreating to your own. You stopped before opening your door, turning back around to look down the hall; Chris was still standing there. 

“Can I stay with you tonight?” You asked loud enough to where he could hear but quiet enough to not wake up the kids. He nodded quickly.

“Okay, I’m going to change and I’ll be right back,” You reassured him. Once you were changed you went back to his room, getting under the covers next to the lump that was buried deep in the blankets. He rolled over and wrapped his arms around you, smushing his face into your neck. You held him close, running your fingers through his curly hair until his breathing slowed down, signaling he was almost asleep. 

“Thank you for everything, Chris,” you whispered. You didn’t think he heard you until he kissed your cheek. 

AN: One more chapter to go! Thank you again for supporting me and this series!!

Will y/n end up with Chris? Stay tuned besties!!!😉

taglist: @felixmainacc @felixburneracc @myforevermelody143 @dunno-wut-to-do @itzsana-kiddingmenow @someone-who-loves-kpop-saranghae

[toxicanonymity]

What if Corey has a CNC kink-

But he's worried you don't wanna do it so he keeps to himself but he gets upset and when you say that you also have the kink he just- goes feral-

Combined this with the ask from @yllcm below. . . my inner sommelier felt it was a good pairing.

Notes: NSFW 18+, unprotected PIV, CNC (con-noncon), noncon, Corey and Michael both alive after Halloween Ends.

PSA on Corey requests: don't take it personally if I don't answer something fast or spin it into Michael thirst lol. 💟

Background Notes: Corey and Michael both survive. I cant resist mentioning Michael revived Corey by snapping his neck, and the whole midnight procession was just from Laurie’s novel, a therapeutic exercise in closure. Corey gets out of town while things cool off.

-

You don’t quite believe it when Corey insists Michael is still alive, until you see Michael lurking around one day. Then, you see him again. It doesn’t seem like a coincidence that you’ve seen him twice in one week. It stays on your mind. You have trouble sleeping.

When you finally drift off for a nap, you have a very hot dream that Michael attacks you and has his way with you. Dream Michael is pummeling you and you’re about to come when you wake up. Shortly after, you receive a call from a restricted number.

- - -

“Hello?”

“Hey babe.” Corey's low voice sends a chill down your spine. “What are you doin?”

“Ohh, I was just taking a nap.”

“Aww, sorry for waking you up.”

“Nah, already woke up. What are you doing?”

“Nothing. Has anyone seen Michael around yet?”

“Actually I saw him myself.”

“You what? really?”

“Yeah, the first time I thought I was seeing things so I didn’t mention it. But today, I was sure.”

“No shit. Is he following you?”

“When are you going to tell me what happened?”

There’s a long pause.

“Not on the phone,” he says. “Wow, I wonder if he’s stalking you. Are you scared?”

“I was, but I just had the strangest dream and I'm not now.”

“What was the dream?”

“Actually it was kind of, um, sexual. I’m still pretty worked up.”

There’s a long pause.

“Sorry, I guess that’s weird.”

“No,” he says. Something changes in his voice. “It’s hot as hell.” He sighs. “What happened, did he fuck you?”

“Really? Okay. Yeah, he came into the diner when I was working. Everyone cleared out but me because I was in the bathroom.”

“Uh-huh”

“He walked straight across the diner and-”

“Did he pull his knife on you?” Corey breathes heavily.

“Yeah. I thought he was going to kill me, then he bent me over a table.”

“Fuck,” Corey breathes. “Then what.”

“Are you hard right now?”

“So hard. What happened next”

“I tried to escape while he had his cock in his hand. He caught me and threw me back down.”

“Ohhh my god”

“Then he forced me.”

“And you liked it?”

You moan softly. “Never felt anything like it before. No offense.”

“What was it like?” He whispers.

“God, now I’m wet.”

“Fuck, I wish I was there so bad.” It’s obvious he’s jerking off.

“Me too, trust me,” you whine as you touch yourself.

“What was it like,” he repeats, darker.

“Like my whole body was being filled.”

“Oh, God,” Corey’s breath becomes ragged.

“It was so hard. And big, it was huge, but it didn’t even hurt.”

“Fuck me,” Corey whispers. “Did he come?”

“Oh yeah, like a firehose.”

“But I didnt. I woke up."

"Fuck, I wish I could stuff you with my cock right now, make you come." You're twitching on the edge.

"Me too, I miss it so bad."

"Suck your tits while I pound you."

You moan as you come. He's grunting.

You say, Iit was so vivid. I guess I liked it, being forced. Would you ever do that for me?”

Corey groans "fuck yes," then sighs in relief as he comes.

As he catches his breath, he says "absolutely.”

You groan and say, "I feel so empty. When are you coming back? Can I come to you? I dunno how long I can wait. "

He sighs. "Michael's following you. What if he really tries something?"

"I dunno, would you be upset?"

"God no, you should do it. Hell, I'd do it"

"Now that's hot."

- -

A few days later, you’re about to leave for work. You open your apartment door and Corey’s there with the darkest look in his eyes. He pushes you right back into your kitchen.

“Corey-”

He cuts you off with his mouth, kissing you ferally. He sucks your neck, gropes your breasts.

“I have to work,” you pant.

He pulls you into him so you can feel how hard he is and you moan, dropping your bag and keys.

He manhandles you onto the sofa without a word and pulls down your pants and underwear. You start to get up to take them off entirely but he forces you back down on your back and pins your hands above your head as he lays his whole body into you. He keeps your wrists pinned with one massive hand and takes his cock out with the other. You’ve never been so turned on. He shoves himself into you with a grunt and pounds you until you come.

@wolvesandvampires @ethanhoewke @rebel-blue

[adhd-attention-deficit-dumbass]

PSA - If you are walking your dog without a leash in a shared public space you are kind of being a dick🐕

I had a period of severe anxiety especially when walking outside. Despite this I did my best to force myself to go outside once a day if only for a few minutes to improve my physical and mental well-being.

So there I am doing my little walk around the neighborhood already struggling to keep my anxiety in check, I’m almost home, relieved that the torture of going outside is almost over. I look behind me (as you do when you expect the world to pounce on you at any second) and I see a woman walking with a big dog unleashed. The dog is walking next to her no problem not looking agressive at all.

Now I’m not afraid of dogs in any way shape or form. We had a giant rottweiler growing up so I really have no reason to be afraid, but since I was already overwhelmed with anxiety this really freaked me out and I started walking faster, but so did the dog lady.

I actually don’t know if what happened next really happened the way I remember it, but I keep looking back and they keep getting closer. In that moment I remember a close family friend who got attacked and bit in the head on a walk by an unleashed dog. I think about the stitches she had to get, how she became so afraid of encountering dogs that she couldn’t take her own dog for walks any longer. Thee lady and the dog keep coming closer and I start panicking even though I’m fully convinced that this dog looks nowhere near even considering attacking. Next thing I know, I look back again and I see this big black dog running up behind me and just scream like I’ve never screamed before.

I step off the trail and sort of freeze. Embarrased but also afraid and I end up sitting down and sort of rocking myself trying to control my anxiety.

The dog lady comes over and tells me

”It’s okay, he’s friendly.”

She gives me this look like she doesn’t know what to think of me. I start profusely apologizing explaining that I just got really scared but that I’m actually fine. She doesn’t really buy it (understandably as I was starting to hyperventilate) She sort of half-heartedly asks if there’s anything she can do and I tell her to please put a leash on her dog. However rather than doing that she starts telling me over and over how friendly and safe the dog is and I just kinda shut her out just asking her to please leave. So she does. I sit in the grass for a good 10-15 minutes probably trying to calm myself down, feeling incredibly ashamed and guilty over having such a big emotional reaction which is of course not helping me calm down.

As I’m trying to muster the courage to get up and walk the remaining 2 minutes back home the lady returns without the dog and again asks if she can do something to help (which was actually really nice of her but in the moment it just made things worse as I felt pressured to ”feel better” for the sake of easing her discomfort) I kept telling her

”Thank you but no, I just need some time to calm down”

After going back and forth a bit she eventually leaves and after an additional 5-10 minutes I’m able to get back up, finish my walk and return to the safety of my home where I break down in tears. Ashamed of my reaction but also just so angry.

Listen, dog people, I get it. Your pup is probably super well trained and wouldn’t hurt a fly. I believe you, but just because you know they’re well behaved doesn’t mean other people know. Even if they know fear can be incredibly irrational and difficult to control. It should be obvious that in shared public spaces you should be respectful of others by leashing your dog. There are dedicated spaces for dogs to run about without a leash but on your daily walk where you have a high likelyhood of encountering lots of people is not that space. It’s unsafe not only for others but for your dog. Some people may attempt to attack your dog out of fear in order to defend themselves.

So please, for the safety and well-being of everyone, just leash your dog

[polizwrites]

A Shining Example

This is a fill for today’s  @flashfictionfridayofficial  prompt: [#FFF243 Glitter and Blues]  as well as my @thehawkeyesbingo  square  C3 - "I've never been so humiliated in my life."

Fandom:  MCU/Marvel Pairing:  Clint Barton/Bucky Barnes Rating: General Tags:  Avenger Tower,  Avengers as Family,  Mistake, Hurt Feelings Summary: When a live-streamed demonstration goes wrong,  Clint has to reassure Bucky things aren’t as bad as they seem.

"I've never been so humiliated in my life."  Bucky groaned,  shaking his head vigorously to send a shower of shiny particles flying every which way.    “No one’s ever going to take me seriously again.” 

“I said I was sorry!” Clint apologized, backing slowly away.   “I swear that was supposed to be a grappling arrow!”   It had been Kate’s idea to live-stream an Avengers training session,  which meant that instead of seeing a demonstration of how to use a line to scale the side of a building, thousands of people watched as a blast of rainbow   sparkles covered the former Hydra’s Fist head to toe. 

“Now you’re the Glitter Soldier!”  Yelena crowed,  nearly bent double with laughter.    “So much for fading into the shadows!”  

Bucky muttered something in Russian that Clint was thankful most of their audience wouldn’t understand before  stalking out the door.   Clint bit back a curse of his own.  “Okay you two - your turn.   Give our audience their money’s worth.” Kate started to explain that the livestream was free, but Clint was already out the door in search of his boyfriend.  

Bucky wouldn't be that hard to find; after all, he was leaving a twinkling trail behind him.   The fleet of cleaning ‘bots in residence at the Tower were going to have their work cut out for them. 

Clint finally tracked Bucky down to one of their favorite hideouts - the ledge behind the giant Avengers symbol that shone out across the city.   He sat down beside Bucky who was staring out at the skyline.   “Sweetheart?” 

“Go ‘way,”  Bucky mumbled in reply,  “before you get covered in these damn sparkles, too.”   

“Would it help if I said the glitter is water soluble?  Kate’s very eco-conscious.”    That got a snort in reply, which Clint took as a good sign.    “I’m sorry I screwed up and embarrassed you.”  

“Not your fault.  Well, mostly not. It’s just…”  Bucky sighed heavily. “I’ve spent so long being seen as a villain. I was hoping these videos would let people see who I really am.  How I’m trying to make up for all the terrible things I did. And instead, I looked like a fool.” 

“Welcome to my world,” Clint replied.   “Remember the photos of me climbing out of a dumpster?  And all the memes they generated?”  

“Yeah - Natasha sent me a couple - still got them saved on my phone.  What’s your point?” 

“That we’re not perfect.  Not any of us.  Ask Tony about the birthday party where he and Rhodes trashed his mansion.  Then there’s the cringe-worthy Captain America PSAs  and Darcy’s stories about Thor’s first few days on Earth.” Clint paused for a moment.    “But when push comes to shove, everyone knows that we’ll step up and be the heroes the world needs.  And you’ll be right there with us.” 

Bucky nodded thoughtfully.  “You go around giving everyone pep talks like this?” 

“Only people I care about.”  Clint leaned over and pressed a kiss against Bucky’s glitter-sprinkled cheek.   

[copias-girl]

Hey. I saw you deleted all the excitement/nonsense from the other day, wanted to check in on you. I realized that while I've been on this hellsite for 12 years and seen and experienced a great deal of my own anon drama, I forget how overwhelming & terrible it feels when it first happens to you.

I failed to notice that, in addition to being very new to this site, you're also only 18 (please note that this is not meant to sound condescending - tone is impossible to convey via text). I was a couple years older than that when I joined here, and I carried just as much excitement and energy into everything I posted and reblogged and quickly gained a reputation for myself. From what I've observed from your blog though, mine was decidedly...less fun & positive, so I got a LOT of anonymous messages telling me what they thought of me. I would spend a lot of time thinking about those anons and the terrible things they said to me, constructive or not, objective or not. It didn't matter how many support messages I got from friends or mutuals, or how much we mocked the anons or made light of the situation - I was angry, embarrassed, felt like nothing I did would fix it, and sometimes didn't want to log onto this site anymore, despite it being the only outlet I had to express myself in this way.

It is normal to focus on the small negative in spite of the overwhelming positive - healthy? No. But normal.

My point is: Please do not let this nonsense deter you from being you. Not everyone is going to like you, and that is totally fine. Not everyone is going to like how you post/reblog on your blog. Speaking solely for myself, I generally keep a more contained dashboard I can scroll through quickly at work, so I don't follow your blog, but I don't translate my personal feelings on how you blog into my personal opinion of you as an individual. Everyone blogs differently on this site, which is what keeps it interesting. I'm also not so chronically online to go out of my way to send you a 5-paragraph essay about consent or being hypersexual in a fandom for a gay Satanic band. Instead I'll send you a 8-paragraph essay trying to comfort you and to tell you not to despair, lmao.

I LOVE your enthusiasm about how you express yourself in your posts & reblogs, and it seems there's a shit ton of blogs around you that feel the same way & express themselves the exact same way. Don't lose that spark! Don't let them rain on your parade! [Insert another cliche phrase here]!

Take time if you need a break, but please understand you did nothing wrong. Everything said to you was someone's opinion they wanted to force on you to control how you behave because they themselves are terrified of the world around them and don't understand they cannot control others. Hopefully one day they'll realize how sheltered and, quite frankly, stupid they are. I did.

My advice: if you ever reopen anons and start getting those messages again, delete them and don't engage. Most of the time they're just looking for attention, to rile you up. Classic bullying tactics.

Or print out their messages and use them as firewood. Or toilet paper. Whatever works.

Lastly, you don't have to acknowledge this or publish this message if you don't want to. Genuinely, I just wanted to reach out and make sure you're okay and to attempt to longwindedly impart some advice from my own experiences over the decade.

You do you, dude. Fuck the haters.

Thank you so so much for this incredibly kind and comforting message ♥︎ I really appreciate it more than you could imagine, it even made me cry reading it. I feel like this message is a good closer for this situation, so I’m also going to use it as an opportunity to give a little PSA about how my blog will be operating from now on.

First of all, just thank you again. I’m honestly astonished because every single thing you mentioned is exactly how I feel. The hurt of it all despite getting so much support, the empty feeling of not wanting to go on tumblr anymore despite it being my only outlet. Tumblr was supposed to be my safe space, my escape, my home, and it really sucks because it honestly doesn’t feel like that anymore.

I think the thing that hurts the most is that literally no one reached out to me as a friend in the dms to tell me that I was bothering them. I’m not a mind reader, so if no one says anything then I assume I’m not bothering them. But I do pride myself on always being approachable, I’m ALWAYS open to people messaging me with their concerns.

It’s different when it’s some faceless anon who comes off as slightly passive aggressive. If someone would have just DMed me, I definitely would have put more thought into it and taken their suggestion. Since I haven’t been on tumblr long, I didn’t even know the difference between reblogging with a comment or reblogging with tags until literally just now during this whole situation.

I just feel like I’ve been serving spaghetti every night for dinner. 9 people say they absolutely LOVE it, but then I come to suddenly find out the 10th person doesn’t. But they never said anything all this time, so how was I supposed to know?

I’ve had two people block me who I thought were my friends. One who, during this situation, even said she’d always be there for me. Basically, she informed me that our mutual friend had been upset about my comments and apparently never said anything before this, so I reached out to that friend and apologized. She apparently got triggered by my apology, and they both blocked me. That hurt. A lot. And if I’m being honest I’ve been fighting so hard not to self harm during this time.

I feel like I’ve been treated like a malicious criminal over this, when in reality everyone should know damn well I’ve never done ANYTHING to deliberately make people feel bad.

And don’t worry, I definitely did not take the comment about my age to be condescending. In fact, I wish more people would have taken it into account. And the fact that I’ve only been on tumblr for 6 months, so I don’t really know much about it.

I have a life outside tumblr. I’m a student, and I’ve had to be a full-time caretaker to sick relatives who have now unfortunately passed away. I’m grieving. My father abandoned me and my mother, so I’ve had to take over doing all the things that he used to do.

I come on tumblr, I scream about everyone’s favourite satanic antipopes, I post some fics, and then I close the app and go about my life. I don’t research the history of tumblr and what’s deemed acceptable by certain groups of people. I’m a human. I’m a real teenage girl, with feelings. I’m able to be hurt, and triggered, and everything else. I know I’ve created a personality for myself on here, and I think people often forget that I’m a real girl.

I wish I could say I’m okay, but right now that spark definitely feels dampened into a sad little ember. Since this has happened, I’ve almost stopped eating entirely, and when I do eat, I immediately throw it right back up. My Mom took me out to eat and I threw up in public. This has honestly had my stomach in knots.

Today was the first day I actually didn’t feel nauseous. So hopefully time will heal this wound. I wouldn’t wish this on ANYONE, but I’m glad to see you got through it and made it out ok. I’m hoping for the same outcome for myself too.

Now for the PSA portion of this message (everyone please read):

Will I stop being unhinged? Hell no. But I will be moving any horny comments into the tags, as suggested by the people who had complaints. The absolute last thing I want to do is alienate people and make people uncomfortable. (I still have questions about reblogging with comments tho, for example, if I say something not horny should I still put that in the tags or is it ok to comment that?)

Secondly, my best friend suggested that I should just start taking my unhinged comments and making them into posts of their own, so I’ll probably do that too. I think I might tag them with some cheesy tag, probably a pun on nsfw (not sugar for work?) so that if you’d like to blacklist that tag, you can, and then your dash will be safe for scrolling at work or wherever. And you can just click ‘view post’ if you want to view it.

So, rest assured, the horny party will never stop! But since I’ll be putting my stuff in the tags, you probably won’t see it circulating as much as reblogged comments, so if you want to see me being unhinged, just come to my page and scroll through!

Also, I’ve gotten so many other supportive messages and I want to thank everyone for sending them in. I won’t be answering them, because I don’t want a lot of stuff about this situation on my blog. And this is going to be the last time I talk about this situation on my blog. But the supportive messages really do mean a lot to me, so thank you all ♥︎

I feel malaise, so I might still be absent for a little while, but I’ll try to get back in the saddle as soon as I can. I haven’t been in the best mindset to write, but I’m really going to try because posting fics and running this account genuinely make me happy.

Thank you for taking the time to read, and I hope to see you all again very soon

Love always,

Sugar <3